After 1 month of use, here is my review of the Duoqin F22 Pro using it in Mexico as my primary phone.
Main features:

• 64GB of internal storage, non-expandable, no SD card slot.
• 4GB of RAM.
• 2150 mAh battery, which lasts me a whole day and sometimes even more.
• 8 MP rear camera.
• 2 MP front camera.
• Backlit keyboard.
• Ambient light sensor.
• Flash, cold light.
• USB Type-C.
• Infrared sensor.

When I opened the box containing the device, it included a USB Type-C cable, two screen protectors, a case, a PIN for the SIM slot, Type-C headphones (unfortunately, the phone lacks a headphone jack), the manual, and the device itself. The first thing I did was transfer all my data and apps: banking, WhatsApp, social networks, work, multimedia. I was able to do everything without any problems, and the phone network was detected as well. It should be noted that I ordered the international version with Google Play. Despite being categorized as a "dumbphone," I maximized the phone's potential. I used it with Android Auto, for banking transactions, social networks, entertainment, music, GPS, browsing; practically everything a regular phone does, and surprisingly it allowed me to perform all these activities without any issue, which speaks highly of the phone.The only inconvenience I had was with the battery optimizations. Despite setting apps like WhatsApp to "Unrestricted" and disabling the battery optimizer, the latter kept functioning and restricting the apps, so I frequently missed notifications. I tried factory resetting it, but the problem persisted; I don't know if it's due to a software error.
How did I solve this? By rooting the device. I found in a forum that this issue can be easily solved by rooting the device and systemizing the apps you want so that the system does not restrict them again. Fortunately, it worked, but the banking apps no longer functioned since many of them do not allow usage if the system is rooted. In the end, I managed to find a way to use the banking apps with root installed without any problems, and to this day I use the device daily.
In summary, if you're looking for a simple device that works only for calls, music, and WhatsApp, this is a good option. But if you also want a phone that allows you to do the above and have functionalities like social networks, Android Auto, GPS for maps, ordering apps like Uber or Uber Eats, this is also your phone. The camera, although not great, serves its purpose adequately. Something I haven't seen mentioned much is that the phone has infrared, so you can control your devices like fans, TVs, AC, DVD, etc., from the phone itself.
Therefore, I want to close this sort of odd review by answering some questions that might arise from my review:
FAQ:
So... Do I need to root the phone? No, absolutely not. I am more than sure that the notification problem is not present in all devices and depends more on luck and the device you get. Additionally, you need to know what root is and have some experience to avoid any issues. I only recommend it for advanced users.
Is the phone slow? How about multitasking? I haven't had any issues with performance. There have been times when I'm using Android Auto, playing music, following a map, and my co-pilot is making a bank transfer, all from the same phone. It hasn't frozen or left me stranded.
Does it have a headphone jack? No, unfortunately.
How is the battery? I can say that in my experience, the battery is good. With all the things I do daily, the battery lasts me the entire day and sometimes more. I could say up to a day and a half, connecting it to Android Auto, using GPS, music, and WhatsApp in the background.
I want to leave social networks, will this phone help me with that? Not at all. If you are addicted to social networks, the problem is not the phone but you.
Would you recommend it for older adults? No, because of the screen size. Despite one of the main complaints about the F22 Pro being the increased screen size, it is still a phone with a rather small screen for an older adult.
If you have any other questions, feel free to leave them in the comments. I will be editing the post with the questions I find most relevant. Attached are photos taken with the F22 Pro.
https://preview.redd.it/dtkfssvhrv1d1.jpg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80fcb83f9772b0432a4483ca134e17b670d2b821

From Uchuusen Vol. 183. Also I don't know what the consensus is but I use 555 to refer to the show and Faiz to refer to the Kamen Rider.
Part 2: Shinichiro Shirakura (Producer) and Ryuuta Tasaki (Director)
https://preview.redd.it/cf17s2fr7v1d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38973491b8e7cc12aed2b2972655da56a35e7961
It's been 20 years since the show ended, but have your impressions of the show changed?
Handa: My impression of the work known as Kamen Rider 555 changed after filming this movie. Previously, I had a rather dry impression of the show, calling it "my debut work" or "my first job after moving to Tokyo", but with the developments of recent years and the fact we were able to make this 20th anniversary movie, I realized that it was a necessary part of my life. It was one of the most special jobs I've ever had the pleasure of working on.
Haga: I think of 555 as my youth and starting point, and that hasn't changed even after 20 years. But once I go to the Kamen Rider filming set, I feel like a child. When I meet the director and staff, I am instantly transported back to those days. And it feels good.
Handa: I get it. I'm almost 40 years old, and as I get older, the sensibilities I had in my teens and 20s tend to fade. I wonder what I was thinking and how I was living back then. But when I'm with Haga-san or when I go to the Kamen Rider set, it instantly comes back to me. That feels strangely comfortable (laughs).
Haga: That's right (laughs).
Handa: It's not good for this to continue forever, but I think it's good to have moments like this every now and then in life.
You two have both appeared in the Kamen Rider series since 555**, but surprisingly this is the first time you have worked together since then.**
Haga: Yes. It's been 20 years since then.
Handa: We've been together at events and such, so you might get the impression that we've often worked together, but this is the first time we've appeared in the same work since 555.
Haga: But it doesn't feel like it's been a while. If anything, I'm more like "What?! It's already been 20 years?"
Handa: It feels like it happened just yesterday or the day before yesterday, when we were testing cameras, deciding on settings, and talking about silly things in our free time.
Haga: It's a feeling you won't find in any other work.
When did the two of you learn about the project for this Paradise Regained movie?
Handa: For me, it was when I appeared in Good Morning, Sleeping Lion 2 starring (Seiji) Takaiwa-san, which was released in April 2023. At the filming set, someone from Toei told me "We'll be doing it next year, so thank you for your cooperation". I was focused on that filming when he suddenly told me, so I was a bit shaken (laughs). However, I was happy that what we had hoped for came true.
What do you mean by "what we had hoped for"?
Handa: When the 555 cast members got together some time ago, we talked about how it would be great to do something for the 20th anniversary. However, it is impossible for us to make a movie on our own, so all we could do is show our determination. I only told Toei of my determination: "if you ever want to do it, I am ready".
Haga-san has appeared in Kamen Rider Genms -Smart Brain and the 1000% Crisis- and Kamen Rider Outsiders as Mari and Smart Queen, but were you aware of this at the time of filming?
Haga: At that time, there was no such talk, so I'm glad we had the opportunity to convey our intentions.
Handa: That's right. If we hadn't said that, the work wouldn't have come this far. I think we would have gotten an commemorative event at most.
Haga: When I learned that May 5, 2020 would coincide with the 20th anniversary of 555, I felt that it was fate that the number "5" would be lined up so miraculously. But to be honest, even if a new work was made, I thought it was going to be at most a collaboration with the latest Kamen Rider, so I never thought that we would be able to make a standalone 555 work.
Handa: I was certainly surprised that they would make such a large-scale work that would be released in theaters.
Takumi's death was confirmed in Kamen Rider 4**, but what were Handa-san's thoughts on playing the role of Takumi this time?**
Handa: I think of Takumi from the TV series and Takumi who guest starred in subsequent works as separate entities. If you don't interpret it that way, you'll end up worrying about parts that don't make sense. That's why I don't think of No. 4 and this movie as being connected. In the first place, after No. 4, I also appeared in Kamen Rider Zi-O. Even at that time, I didn't let No. 4 weigh me down, and instead only played my role of Takumi of the world of Zi-O.
Haga-san also played the dual roles of Mari and the Smart Queen in works such as Outsiders**, but what were your thoughts on playing the role of Mari this time?**
Haga: Even before that, I had appeared in Kamen Rider Kiva and Decade, but it was the first time in 18 years that I played Mari. I was surprised and thought "I haven't played Mari in that long?" But that's because for the past 20 years, I have been called "Mari-chan" here and there.
Handa: That's right (laughs).
Haga: Outsiders was not written by Toshiki Inoue, and to begin with, I played the Smart Queen role more often than Mari there, so in that regard this was the first time in 20 years that I played the post-555 Mari.
What did keep in mind when playing Takumi and Mari of 20 years later?
Handa: This is similar to what I mentioned earlier, but 20 years is just the passage of time in the real world. Although this movie takes place a long time after the TV series, there is no clear setting for how many years later. Takumi no longer have the body to continue working at the dry cleaners, and due to various reasons, has given himself to Smart Brain. I acted with that in mind.
Haga: That's right. We were both teenagers at the time of 555, so we have both changed as people.
Handa: We've both gone through a lot of things in the real world. But I felt like we didn't have to think about those changes in our state of mind in the 555 world.
The director of this movie is Ryuuta Tasaki, who was also the main director of 555**. What was your impression of filming with the Tasaki crew after a long time?**
Handa: For me, the only word I can say is "easy to act". However, since there were many young actors on set this time, the director was also strict. At the time of 555, we didn't really get yelled at.
Haga: Yes. I don't remember being scolded by Director Tasaki. I've worked with him on many other works (besides 555) such as Sh15uya and Kiva, so of course I know of his tough side.
Handa: For me, he is like a teacher or a club advisor. When I was a teenager, the 555 set was like school or a club activity. Even when things were tough, we overcame them and made it through as a group of members that wouldn't be complete with a single person missing.
Haga: He is like a guardian to me. Also, Director Tasaki's acting instructions are very easy to understand.
Handa: He's good at explaining things, without using emotional arguments.
Haga: He is watching the set carefully.
Handa: He's very considerate. If it's cold at the filming site, he'll say things like "put a blanket over him".
Haga: The very first scene we filmed this time was on the roof of a building, and he remembered that I was afraid of heights. He was really considerate and told me "you'll be fine at this height" and "there's a fence, so it's okay".
Handa: I think the director was impressed by Haga-san's talent even back then. That's why you're still treated with courtesy even today.
Haga: No, no, no! I was 15 at the time.
Handa: Now that I think about it, there are no 15-year-olds like Haga-san. She was much more level-headed than (Mitsuru) Karahashi-san (laughs).
Haga: Well, I'm confident in that (laughs). I still remember the conversation we had when I first met Karahashi-san. "So you are the rumoured Mari?" "Yes." "I heard you don't do any retakes." I thought "what's wrong with this adult?" with the way he talked to the 15-year-old me (laughs).
Handa: Karahashi-san brought home many leftover lunch boxes from the filming set, and used the baths at the filming studio to save up money for bathing. His way of life was very much like Naoya Kaido. He is a lovable man (laughs).
Please give us your impressions on co-starring with Kouhei Murakami-san (Masato Kusaka), Mitsuru Karahashi-san (Naoya Kaido), and Ray Fujita-san (Kitazaki/Dragon Orphnoch) in this 555 20th anniversary movie.
Handa: Though I worked with Murakami-san in Heisei Rider vs. Showa Rider: Kamen Rider Taisen and Zi-O, I thought it was really nice to see Takumi and Kusaka together. Karahashi-san was a key person in No. 4, so it was really only Fujita-kun who I met for the first time in 20 years. (After seeing him) I thought he too had become an adult.
Haga: Fujita-kun was a child even to me at the time (laughs). Also, Murakami-san loves Kaixa so much that he hosts a fan event called 913 (Kaixa) Festival. He also invited me there, so I regularly watch him play Masato Kusaka (laughs).
Handa: No, no, 913 Festival's Masato Kusaka is way too exaggerated (laughs). But it's amazing that he took Kusaka, a role that would normally be disliked by viewers, and turned it into a character that is loved so much. I think this is the result of Murakami-san's personality and hard work.
Haga: It seems that there are many people have come to like him after all was said and done. That Masato Kusaka (laughs).
How was your reunion with Karahashi-san, who was mentioned earlier?
Haga: I was surprised at the fact that he hadn't changed at all (laughs).
Handa: He really hasn't changed (laughs). I guess his hair is shorter now?
Haga: He always tries to sneak ad-libs during the actual takes. And everytime, the director would stop him and say "(you) don't (have to) do that!". Exactly the same scenery as back then (laughs).
Handa: It's fine to stay together with him for a day or so. He's pretty interesting after all. But every day is tough (laughs).
Haga: It would stop the filming from progressing (laughs).
Handa: It must be difficult for his wife (laughs).
In this work, Next Faiz, a new form of Faiz, appears. Please tell us your impressions after watching it.
Handa: When I first saw the design drawings, I thought it was an excellent design. While making the gimmick modern, it remains Faiz-like. I was impressed that they were able to create such a difficult design. I liked it at first sight. Also, while matching the old Faiz, the colors have been slightly changed. The red that used to be deep red has turned vermilion, and the silver has also become darker.
Between the TV series, movies, and this work, multiple Kamen Riders have appeared in the 555 series, but which Rider left the most impression on you?
Haga: Aside from Faiz, of course, I really like Psyga, who appeared in the movie Paradise Lost. I thought he was really cool, including the provocation pose he did when fighting Kaixa.
Handa: Back then, white riders were rare. And he could fly too.
Haga: When he fought Faiz, he was defeated right away, right? I seriously thought "what a waste!" (laughs).
Handa: Nevertheless, this is the first time I've heard that you like Psyga (laughs).
Haga: Just like Faiz, it has a really nice design that screams "Made by Smart Brain".
Handa: I was impressed by that too. Smart Brain's front face is a company, so they must be making products other than Riders. It's amazing that they are conscious of the commonalities that are unique to that company when designing their products. Even though it's a non-existent company. As a railway fan, I would like to see trains made by Smart Brain. Something like a Maglev (laughs).
Handa-san, how did you feel about using the Faiz Driver, which has evolved into needing a smartphone?
Handa: The conventional model has its advantages because I'm familiar with it. I think I would have gotten used to the new model if I had used it more often, but just from this experience I wasn't able to make it "my own". And it's not just me, but Takumi himself should be the same, so I thought it wouldn't be a problem even if I wasn't used to it. I think it's more realistic that way.
Since it's a smartphone, you had to use both hands to press "5.5.5. ENTER."
Handa: That was just for the sake of the filming, but if I really want to, I can do it with one hand. But as expected, it's still difficult to press (the touches) with one hand (laughs).
Please tell us the highlights of this work.
Haga: Please pay attention to the last scene.
Handa: It's the "true last scene", right? The scene that plays with the end credits.
Haga: Yes. I really love the Takumi and Mari of that scene.
Handa: Even though it was an ordinary scene, it was difficult to play, so in the end I came to the conclusion that I would "not act". Without thinking about how to make facial expressions, what kind of movements to make, or what tone to use in one's voice. I was wondering if that's what it means to truly "act". Haga-san acted the same way.
Haga: It was a scene that wasn't in the script in the first place. The story was that I could do whatever I wanted while the cameras were rolling.
Handa: The reason it was used properly is because the director could sense that Takumi and Mari were possessing us.
Haga: I haven't heard anything about it, but you're probably right.
Lastly, please give a message to the fans who are looking forward to the screening.
Handa: This is a work for 555 fans. It is a work that we can confidently deliver to the core 555 fans who say I like this" or "that" about 555". It's not just that "we made this movie just to celebrate the 20th anniversary". Rather, it's more like "20 years have passed by coincidence". At least if you ask us (laughs).
Haga: I think the fact that the Faiz Driver, which used to need a flip phone, was upgraded into needing a smartphone, was only possible because 20 years have passed. However, it is a work that does not make you feel the passage of time. There are well-balanced scenes that make you think "this is what 555 is like". And this too "gets you fired up" (laughs).
Handa: Another big factor was that the filming took place at a time when we, the actors, were in good mental condition. The mental state of an actor will appear on the screen.
Haga: Please check out what Takumi and Mari are thinking and how they are living as adults.
Handa: But as I said at the beginning, I was a child again on set (laughs). That's why I would like (Toei) to create new 555 stories on a regular basis. So that we can also become younger (laughs).

The next part is here! This episode is so long that I had to split it, and today, you're finally getting part 3 of 3.
You can find the previous episodes in the side bar! (Community info page in the app)
DISCLAIMERS (the same ones as before)
The point of this fanfiction is not to be a straight-up continuation of events with the same themes, intensity, and tone. If you go into it with those expectations, you are probably not going to like it. Rather, it’s supposed to be how I wish things went if these events were real life. The resolution you want for a real-life situation isn’t often the right choice for a show, but it can be incredibly beautiful. Think of what you’re about to read to be a separate show then.
Episode 1 of this fanfiction begins after the episode “2:00” (season 2 episode 4), so it replaces the episode “Cake” and the ones that follow it. This fanfiction expects you to have seen the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, so you should watch those first.
I myself am bursting into the story here. The narrator and me are the same. While my character is like 95% real me, don’t take events about my life described here as facts. Some aspects of my life have been changed for the story. In my head, I started writing like an “alternate me” character in 2016, fulfilling a lot of the things that I wish I had in life, adding that to my story. I’m not really from Ukraine. I speak fluent Ukrainian as a foreign language, I started learning it in 2014, and I’ve talked to tons of people from there, but I’m not from Ukraine. I also don’t have as much money as I do in the story. I wish lmao.
If you want to post your own fanfiction, feel free to do so! To get your own post flair for your fanfic, and to appear in the side bar, please message me.

Part 3 (days 3 and 4)

We’d wake up on day three, and still, nothing would be any different - we’re still locked up. We’d both feel really worried not knowing if we’ll have to forfeit our whole plan because we might run out of food and water and take the risky route - calling the police and getting ourselves into a situation where we’d have to be freed by force, which would be so dangerous because the Turners have proven that there’s nothing they’re not prepared to do to us to “get Jericho back”. Leanne would ask me “What do we do if we call the police, and Mrs. Turner comes up here and tries to hurt us?” At first, I’d insist that we start thinking about that when we do run out of food the next day, but she’d insist we should come up with a plan. I’d point at the corner on the edge of the attic facing Spruce Street, the corner that’s to one’s right when coming up into the attic,
https://preview.redd.it/knoz0zwpou1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=bd1694f292bb546ea45339ebecea7ffacfe33541
and say “Then you’d curl up and hide over there, and I’d take the radio, you’d take the metronome, and I’d sit down in front of you, shielding you, and if she gets in here before the cops do, we’ll defend ourselves. And we’d record everything on my phone. And we should probably hide behind the sofa. Maybe then, she might not notice we’re still up here at first. She’d probably be in a state of panic.” She’d look at me with sad, but touched eyes and just hug me and say thank you. I’d reply “Of course”. After some silence, I’d tell her “If anything happens to me… Please bring me back”.

She’d be touched by that, but say that if she reanimates me, the Church of Lesser Saints will come after ME as well because they’ll believe that I’ll be obligated to join. With a worried smile, I’d say “I know... But they’re probably already gonna do that, right? Because I won’t let them get to you!” We’d both nod with the same half-happy, half-worried expression. “And if things go terribly wrong and you have to bring me back, we can try again!”

I’d ask if I’m getting it right that the “great sins” they think she’s committing are not spending time with the Church and helping another family from the one that was assigned to her. She’d say yes and add that there’s a lot more they hate her for, like her “disobedient and rebellious streak”, disobeying their instructions, putting curses on people, and now, leaving the Marinos.
https://preview.redd.it/4obn4r9uou1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=1e77adafbde221c320999ba1169adb0a1c6b2b17
After a few seconds of silence (out of shock that this is how the Church of Lesser Saints frames it), I’d be like “If you disobey so many of their instructions, then...”, look her directly in the eyes, and go “Good! Keep on disobeying them! I’m actually kind of stunned that this is how they frame your actions, because that is so manipulative. Wanting to have a life where you don’t have to worry about your every step being watched and controlled, where you can actually freely explore what you believe – not what they tell you to believe, but what YOU believe, where you can do totally normal human things like listen to music, and where you can go wherever you want and make some basic decisions for yourself and work wherever you want, that doesn’t make you...” (doing the “quote-on-quote” with my hands while I say it) “quote-on-quote ‘disobedient’ or ‘rebellious’, it makes you a normal human being. If they forbid every little thing that people do that makes you happy, if you then look for happiness elsewhere, that’s on them. You can’t take every bit of joy away from people and then expect them to just deal with it. You wanting to run away, that’s the logical result of their bullshit. And you didn’t ‘leave’ the Marinos, you were taken. Don’t let them think you’re at fault in any way!” She might have never heard any verbal confirmation before that her feelings about leaving are valid, and this would be so reassuring to her. She’d tell me that whenever she did things like not be there for meals at the Church, skip assemblies, or curse people without permission, she would be brought before May and the rest of the community, get questioned about her behavior, and she’d have to self-flagellate to receive forgiveness.
https://preview.redd.it/roex7c20pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=32cecf94a41a97e66b1c74967cb074ca89321777
I’d go really still and quiet when she mentions the self-flagellation, which she’d then explain is a frequent punishment. That would freaking break my heart... I’d ask her when was the last time she hurt herself, and it was a little less than two weeks ago, before she was forced to leave the Turners. Very carefully and quietly, I’d ask her if it would be okay if she can show me her scars and add “You do NOT have to if you’re not comfortable, PLEASE don’t do it if you’re not”, and after a second, she’d nod and show me her back. My heart would break for her even more seeing her scars, I’d just express how horrible it is that they made her do that… I’d show her some of my cut wounds from when I self-harmed, which I hadn’t done in like three and a half years at that point. I’d want her to know that way that I get the urge, that I really do, but I’d tell her that hurting oneself achieves nothing. All it does is make you feel horrible mentally and physically, and every time you do it, there’s a risk of infection and even death. I’d just tell her I understand while taking her in my arms. I’d ask her to please look me in the eyes and tell me she won’t hurt herself again, and that when she feels like doing it again, to please talk to me first. She’d quietly say “I promise” while looking me in the eyes, and after some longer embraces, we’d both smile a bit, that would make me really happy to hear! I’d ask that when we’re out of here, if we can call a doctor sometime soon and get them to look at her scars to make sure none of them are infected, if she’s comfortable enough, and she’d nod and smile at me a little bit some more.

We’d eat after that. We’d run out of tomato soup that meal, and I’d tell her that when we’re getting out of there, I’d get her all the tomato soup in the world! “We’re gonna fill a whole hotel fridge with tomato soup!” “And with Ben & Jerry’s?”, she’d ask, and I’d say yes and say that we’re probably gonna need more than one fridge. I’d say we’re gonna pick the nicest and most expensive hotel to stay at, an idea that she’d love! “You still think Allentown is a good idea?”, I’d ask her, and she’d think my reasoning from the day before makes sense and say yes. We’d look for the nicest hotel in Allentown online and see that there are “only” three-star hotels in Allentown. Leanne would ask if getting such an expensive place to stay is really okay, and I’d say “Money is not an issue, don’t worry about it” while reaching across her back and like caressing her right shoulder, looking her in the eyes, and smiling. “And besides, let’s spoil you, you fucking deserve it after all this!” We wouldn’t book anything yet because we wouldn’t know when we can get out of there yet, but looking at all those insanely nice hotels would lift our spirits a bit.

After eating the first half of that day’s rations (only two half day’s rations would be left after that…), we’d think that it would probably be a good idea if we started writing the document for the police right now. Writing it can take hours upon hours, and there’s no point in delaying the rescue to write the document after I leave if we can do it right now, so we’d begin right that moment. It would begin something like “My name is Daria Horenko, born July 30, 1999 in Odesa, Ukraine, residing in 501 Pembroke Ave, Philadelphia 19050, Pennsylvania...” (I don’t live there. I have no idea who does. Please leave them alone lmao) “...I sent this statement to my Facebook friend Liam [...] (residing in Tipperary, Ireland, using Facebook as Liam [...]) as a PDF file and told him to call the Philadelphia police and read this statement to them if I don’t come back online and confirm that I’m okay by 10 PM Philadelphia time / 3 PM London, UK time on December 22, 2022. If he is reading this to you, it probably means that there was no sign of life from me by that time, and that I’m not safe, probably kidnapped and locked up by Dorothy Turner, Sean Turner, Julian (I’m not sure about his surname, but I’m referring to Dorothy Turner’s brother - redhead, not very tall, moderately overweight) in the attic of their residence at 9780 Spruce Street, Philadelphia 19139, Pennsylvania”, and then document everything I’ve seen in chronological order and everything that Leanne has told me, with a link to our video and photographic evidence, references to DNA evidence that can probably be found in the hole in the basement if they haven’t covered it up by now, and a statement at the end saying that I’ve written it together with Leanne to make sure that everything is correct. That would take a really long time, hours for sure. But when it’s done, I’d run spell- and grammar checks on it and send it to my printer at home, to be queued for printing when I get home and turn it on. We’d also know that today (December 21) or tomorrow will be the day when we leave one way or another, so I’d schedule a text message to 911 in 30 hours from that moment. The message would say “This is a scheduled message. If you’ve received it, then Leanne Grayson (born October 13, 2001)...” (We only ever learn Leanne’s birth year from the gravestone. October 13 is Nell Tiger Free’s birthday, so October 13, 2001 being Leanne’s birthday is kind of my headcanon)
https://preview.redd.it/0hr9niq1pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=4dbead2015781ed8beee236188b8273aac1b3fb0
“...and me (Daria Horenko, born July 30, 1999) are probably not safe, abducted and locked up against our will by Dorothy Turner, her brother Julian, and Sean Turner in the attic of their house at 9780 Spruce Street, Philadelphia 19139, Pennsylvania or somewhere else on the property. We need help immediately. The Turners should be considered dangerous and very clearly willing to use violence and intimidation. We need help NOW. Details in our prepared statement: [the link]”. Because we’re holding out hope that we won’t have to call the police from inside the attic, the document would include information on what our plan is to get Leanne (and me) out of there as safely as possible and call the police from the taxi, but that if we run out of rations, we won’t have a choice but to call the police while we’re unarmed and while the Turners still have the upper hand.

We would debate whether we should include information about the Church of Lesser Saints right away or tell the police about them later because we know how that sounds, considering that this would hurt the credibility of our testimony,
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but we’d modify the document and include the most important information about them as well, with more believable explanations - how they forced Leanne and other members to self-harm (meaning that current members or those who recently left), where they’re currently operating from in Lancaster,
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that they faked their deaths, that they forced Leanne to leave the Turners, and the necessary lie that they took the real baby, and that Leanne hasn’t seen it since that day and doesn’t know where they’ve taken it. We’d also include names and stuff, and most importantly, reference the baptism tape and say that it shows May and George watching us from the sidewalk outside the church less than three weeks ago, and that piece of evidence would change everything in regards to investigating the Church of Lesser Saints and make the police believe us. We’d add that it’s probably among the other DVDs in the Turners’ living room, and that I’ll try to get it when leaving the building if our original plan is still going to be an option, rip the DVD at home, and add a link to the video file to the document. We’d modify the scheduled text message as well, and we’d charge both phones, mine first because the scheduled message is so important, but it’s an iPhone, so we could charge it to 100% rather quickly and then charge hers. And we’d add that we’d want the police to get Leanne’s things from the Marino estate. All her stuff being there would be further evidence that she was taken suddenly and against her will. We’d also add what number Leanne can be reached at for now with the Samsung Galaxy phone. And then, I’d send the document to Liam on all platforms where I know how to reach him, followed by a message to alert the authorities if I’m not back online confirming that we’re both okay in what’s now probably more like 29 hours, the phone number of the Philadelphia police, and caps at the beginning saying that it’s an actual emergency.

Out of nowhere, I’d ask her if she’s seen “Titanic” lmao, and with her near total isolation growing up, she wouldn’t have seen it. “I’ve only seen movies on TV”. I’d be like “I can show you lots of movies if you want! I got several subscriptions to streaming services, and also a bunch of stuff offline on an external drive at home.”
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Back on talking about “Titanic”, I’d tell her it’s wonderful and so freaking romantic, albeit over-the-top at times for sure and a bit overrated. It has that glossy feeling and some superficial characters to it that all James Cameron movies have, but it’s still really wonderful. After explaining the plot to her (since she’s grown up so isolated), I’d tell her about one scene that I’m thinking about a lot from time to time - near the end of the movie, when old Rose is done telling the researchers her story, she says that she doesn’t even have a picture of Jack, and that has hit me so hard from the first time I’ve seen the movie.
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She has no physical memories of him, she can never see his face again, and she can never show people what he looked like. That just rips my heart. I’d ask Leanne if we can take some pictures together. We’d look pretty horrible because we haven’t been able to shower in days, but we wouldn’t care and take them anyway and really, genuinely smile so hard. I’d send them to her email address (leanne_grayson@icloud.com, that email address is on her resume in the show),
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manually sync my gallery with iCloud, and I’d send them to Liam. I’d ask what phone she got back at the Marinos’ and if she’s got any pictures of herself in her iCloud gallery, but she’d tell me she’s rarely ever taken pictures of herself, only for the resume she applied at the Turners’ for, and I’d be like “Whaaaaat? But you’re so beautiful!”, and she’d smile hard, a bit embarrassed. I’d look her straight in the eyes and say it again and say that I mean it for real, she is so incredibly beautiful! It’s probably so rare that anyone’s ever said that to her in her entire life (her mother definitely didn’t, and given that the Church of Lesser Saints believes that anything that feels good is dangerous,
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it’s rather unlikely that they did), Tobe saying it in “Balloon” might even have been the only time ever…
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I’d then add “Inside AND out!”, and she’d smile some more in a bit of embarrassment and then look me in the eyes and say “You, too, Daria!”, and as you’d expect, I’d smile so hard and even with my eyes!

It would be rather late by then, so we’d eat and listen to some more music together from the Spotify playlist I created for her and talk so much about what we’re hearing.

After dinner, she’d bring the topic up on her own (this is kind of making fun of these fan theories) - she’d tell me that some in the Church of Lesser Saints think she’s the Devil or Lilith because of her rebelliousness, and how she’s inspired doubt in some people in the Church. I’d make such a weirded-out face. After realizing she’s serious, I’d say “If you are the Devil, then hail Satan! Like, seriously, if YOU are what God is threatening will happen if we don’t follow him, then that’s literally the weakest threat I’ve ever heard of. Then God is the villain here. We need more people like you in the world!” Shy as she still is, she’d still be almost embarrassed to hear this (she’s so not used to compliments), and I’d make it clear I’m serious, that I really think she’s fricking wonderful and the sweetest, and that she clearly has a huge heart full of so much love, and that she deserves so much better than what she’s ever experienced! Almost in denial, she’d see in my eyes that I really mean it and just smile and hug me, and then, we’d both smile even more! I’d rub her back a lot in that moment and promise her again that everything will be okay. “I’ll make sure of that!”

After some more music together, knowing that tomorrow will be the day we leave, no matter which plan we’ll go with, we’d make sure we haven’t forgotten anything. Looking around, I’d realize I have to give her my earphones with a cord because the internal mic of my Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini is essentially useless. I’d tell her that when I call her the next day to tell her it’s safe to come downstairs now, she should answer the call, plug in the earphones, and then, it will take a few seconds until I can hear her, but then, it should be fine. We’d set a code phrase that I’ll mention to let her know if the Turners got me and it’s NOT safe to come down. She’d suggest “tomato soup”, and I’d smile and say yes, that’s gonna be our code phrase. “And if it IS safe to come down?”, she’d ask, and I’d suggest “ice cream”.

I’d realize that we should probably find her fresh clothes in the attic and a coat right now, so as I said, it’s not too obvious that she’s been locked up for a long time the second she walks out of the door, because if she’s in dirty clothes or nightwear, with it being obvious that she hasn’t showered in days, and I get her out of there and into a taxi to drive off while I got a gun, it would look as if I was kidnapping her, so we’d find her a nice dress and coat up there, and I’d turn around and close my eyes while she puts it on, and when she’s done, I’d tell her again that she looks amazing! 😊
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And she’d smile and thank me this time, sort of the way she says it to the makeup artist at the street fair in S3E5 “Tiger” in that typical way of hers that’s so adorable for real,
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and she’d look in my direction and say “You look really beautiful, too!”, really shy, before peeking me in the eyes for a moment, and we’d just look at each other for a moment. “Can I have your pictures?”, she’d ask me, and I’d say yeah, open my iPhone, and select ALL pictures of myself in my gallery and send them to her email address, and send her those that are too large via a Google Drive link (iCloud isn’t great for sharing files lol), and then, I’d take her Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini, download them all (which would take a while because that phone is ancient), and set one of the pictures we’ve taken together as her wallpaper, and then set it as my wallpaper on my iPhone as well! 😊

We’d consider if there’s anything else we’ve missed. She’d mention that parts of the floor screech, especially one tile, so when I sneak out, I gotta be careful on the stairs, especially with that one tile.
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After a few seconds, she’d ask me if we wanna book a hotel now, and I’d smile and say sure! “Did you like any hotels in particular, out of the ones we looked at?” She’d say “The one with the big jacuzzi looks great” with big eyes and enthusiasm in her voice, like she does during some of her conversations with Tobe in S3E5 “Tiger”. “You’ve ever been in a jacuzzi?”, I’d ask her, and she’d go “Nooo, but I wanna try!” in the same tone,
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and so, after lying down now, we’d look up which hotel she was talking about and book a two-room suite in that hotel in Allentown for three weeks. I’d add “So we can easily look out for each other, and so you’ll also have some privacy.”, and she’d smile and nod, that consideration would probably mean a lot to her.

We’d then get ready for bed. For the next day, I’d get some better clothes as well and put them on while she’s turned around with her eyes closed. I’d take the last ration of food out of my backpack, put the clothes I just took off at the bottom of it, above Leanne’s Bible (the porcelain baby and card are already in one of the other pockets), and put my phone and the chargers in another pocket. I’d look around and ask her if there’s anything else I should take with me to safeguard, and at first, she’d also look around because she wouldn’t know how to answer right away, but she’d then point at Mrs. Barrington with her face,
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and I’d be like “Well, I think she’s a little too big for my backpack, but I can talk to the police when we’re out of here, maybe we can try to get her!”, and Leanne would nod with a big smile again.

We’d lie down on the mattress and share the covers again. Just like the night before, I’d lie down on the side of the mattress that’s closer to the stairs, in case Dorothy changes her mind and tries to assault Leanne again… On the mattress, she’d suddenly hug me really tight, break into tears, and thank me over and over again, and I’d just hold her tight, say “Of course”, and assure her that everything’s gonna be okay, that we’ll get out of there tomorrow. I’d wipe some of her tears off her face 🥺 On the mattress, we’d just look each other in the eyes and both just smile more and more, and after a minute or two, she’d kiss me on the lips for a tiiiiny moment and then, we’d just smile at each other even harder! She’d say “I’m not supposed to do that” while still smiling just as hard and looking me directly in the eyes! “Says who?”, I’d reply. She goes “My aunts and uncles”, and I’d say “I don’t think they’re a reliable source!”, and we’d kiss each other some more and longer, and both feel each other’s smile on our lips, and peek at each other a few times in between 😊🥰❤️ We’d both put our arms around each other before telling each other good night and before I promise her one more time it’s all going to be okay!
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At some point during the night, she’d wake me up, and when she does, I’d realize I had a nightmare, like, not from my night terrors, and she’d tell me I had a nightmare, that I was sniffling in my sleep, and that I told her two days earlier to wake me up if this happens. Still feeling terrible (the feeling of immediate dread always takes a while to subside for me), I’d thank her. I’d ask what I was saying, and she’d say that I wasn’t speaking English. I’d consider if I should tell her for a moment, but then, I’d take a deep breath, look up for a second, and with a heavy voice, slowly say “What if we try plan A tomorrow, and I fail? I’m scared… I don’t wanna mess this up… I don’t wanna fail you…” And she’d slowly look at me and just say two words: “You haven’t!” I’d look at her and almost laugh a bit out of joy. I’d smile and just cuddle up to her a bit, and she’d do it back. I’d say I’ll try to listen to music for a while to calm down because doing something else makes it much easier for me to zone out of the feeling of dread again. “Why only you?”, she’d ask. “I don’t wanna keep you awake”, I’d say, “You need the sleep”, and she’d say “It’s okay” and just smile a bit, and so, we’d listen to some music together for about half an hour.

I’d tell her that my sleep is so horrible (she’d say she can tell) because I don’t have my meds, and I’m really fricking looking forward to taking them again. Without them, the quality of my sleep is terrible, and it takes so long for me to fall asleep at all if I don’t take them. She’d ask if I’ve taken them for a long time, and I’d say that I haven’t taken these particular meds for long because whatever I take, my body builds up some resistance to them pretty quickly, so after a while, I always have to get new ones, but I’ve taken sleeping meds for years now. “It sounds like they’re really helping you, right?”, she’d ask, and I’d nod and say “Yeah, they really do. I’m also taking antidepressants, and they were an absolute gamechanger for me. It’s okay if I don’t take them for a few days because they don’t work in the moment, but they like rewire your brain over time, and they’re the best thing that’s ever happened to my mental health. Before I started taking them, it was so hard for me to avoid bad thoughts or resist them, like, it was hell, but ever since then, it got sooo much easier, and not letting things get to me or not letting bad things really take over me is just so much easier now.” After a while, I’d say “I was at a psychiatric clinic voluntarily for six months, but I also had nowhere else to go, and the doctors and employees really abused their power. They only intervened when there was physical violence, they didn’t intervene in any other conflicts, so because of them, the patients constantly bullied each other. My doctor switched to another department while I was there, so I got a new one, and the new one wasn’t perfect, but at least, she cared. I got really lucky to get a place at a living group for mentally ill people, which was when I could finally leave. But honestly, all my experiences with mental health professionals since then have been better. I went to a different clinic for four or five days voluntarily in 2019, and even they were far better. “That sounds scary…”, she’d say. I’d reply “It was. But things got much better after that. I had lots of setbacks, like, you know, but if you get help, it’s always better.”

After the current song’s over, we’d lie down to try and sleep again. We’d smile at each other again in bed, and I’d give her a short-ish kiss before saying good night, and we’d both smile even harder after that 😁 And we would fall asleep for good after a while (it would still take me longer than her).

In the morning, Leanne would wake me up again. She’d show me that the door is unlocked and open by a little bit now (they’re “letting” her out for a few hours…),
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and we’d both just embrace and chuckle in huge joy, as we can go with plan A now, the less risky one! We’d remember to quiet down after a few seconds and whisper from then on out. I’d go to the toilet roll, take eight pieces, rip them into two bands of four pieces each, and roll each of them up into a little bunch. I’d give them to her and tell her to put them into the wall pieces of the door when she gets out (so it looks like the door is closed while it can’t actually lock) and give me an audible signal when the third floor is clear, so I’ll get out with my backpack, take out the toilet paper, and hide in her room.
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“Is there anything you want me to get from there?”, I’d ask. “No. Everything is here or at the Marinos’.” I’d go “Okay” and move on - since I’m almost definitely unable to come down to the second floor right away (I’m using American English in all of these episodes. “First floor” in American English = “ground floor” in British English; “Second floor” in American English = “first floor” in British English; “Third floor” in American English = “second floor” in British English, etc.), she’d give me a signal when coming back upstairs. We’d agree that when she comes back upstairs, if it’s safe to go to the second floor, she’d shout something, maybe in conversation, maybe some sort of cry, doesn’t matter, and if not, she’d kick something. She’d be locked upstairs again after that, so I’ll have to tell when to get further downstairs myself, which I’d do as soon as I’ve heard absolutely no sounds from inside the house for at least a few minutes. On the first floor, I’d get the DVD from March 11, 2001, and if the baptism tape isn’t clearly labeled among the tapes, I’d unplug the DVD player from the TV, turn on the player, open the DVD slot, and if the tape isn’t in there, I’d take all unlabeled tapes. I’d then listen in on the basement door for a few seconds, and if I hear no sounds from down there, I’d quietly open the basement door and go downstairs, and if no one’s there, I’d get out through the side entrance down there, out through the back gate, walk back to Spruce Street, drive my bike home, take a shower, watch the tape from March 11, 2011 like she told me I could, hide it somewhere at home, print out the document for the police, take it with me in an envelope, print out a second version of it to give to the taxi driver, so I can say “If I’m not back in an hour, please call the police for me and read this to them”. I’d then call a taxi (a taxi with a large trunk whose driver is allowed to drive to Allentown and back), load my gun, and leave for the Turners’ and get Leanne.

We’d see that Liam has replied by now. Of course, he’d be super worried, but he’s got our backs for the plan, and that would be really reassuring. We’d look each other in the eyes, and then, I’d hug her sooo tight for several seconds, and we’d have one loooong kiss (hoping it’s not the last time we see each other…) before she goes downstairs while looking back at me on the way before putting the toilet paper in the door. I’d then put on my backpack. Once Leanne loudly shouts “Mister Turner?”, that would be my signal, and I’d hide in her room for about 45 minutes before she’s “let” back upstairs and shouts “You can lock me in now, Mrs. Turner”,
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which is when I’d sneak into the storage/guest room and wait. It would take like five hours until I hear nothing for a while, which is when I’d sneak onto the first floor, look around to make extra sure no one’s there, and go to the living room. I’d get the tape from March 11, 2011, and the baptism tape would be among the labeled DVDs, and I’d put it into the box of the March 11, 2011 tape (I’d put the original DVD loose in there and use the spot inside the box for the baptism tape because it’s probably more important. I then wouldn’t hear anything from the basement, so I’d slowly and quietly go down there. No one would be there, so I’d leave as planned and go home and take a shower. I’d watch the March 11, 2011 DVD. I’d be surprised to see the interaction between Leanne and Dorothy for sure, but sort of knowing her, I wouldn’t think anything bad of it. I’d actually get it because of my past celebrity crushes (which I know isn’t what she was feeling for Dorothy) and the desire to meet them, especially with Blanche. I’d get why Leanne wouldn’t want the police to see it, it would look bad for her. I’d wrap up the DVD in a thick piece of paper and tape it to the back of my closet, between the closet and the wall. I’d burn the piece of paper in the DVD case in my bathtub with a bucket of water next to me just in case. I’d test if the DVD of the baptism tape still works (it does), rip it, upload the video file to Google Drive, add it to the document for the police, cancel my printing queue, print the document (two versions of it. The one for the taxi driver would just have a short introduction at the beginning, like, that I’m the person who ordered the taxi), order the taxi, pack my things for the next couple of weeks and anything that Leanne might need, so I’d include any clothes that I think could fit her, and go to the taxi. I’d tell the driver to get me one block away from 9780 Spruce Street (which isn’t actually a real address, by the way) and wait there for me. Before leaving for the Turner house, I’d give him the envelope with his version of the letter for the police and tell him what I said I would tell him. I’d then get my backpack with the gun in it from my luggage in the trunk, and walk to the Turners’ house.

I have already "written" so much more in my head, but I've now reached the end of what I've actually written down, so it will take longer until the next episode is out now! Hope you've enjooooyed this one!

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Hey there,
You have hereby entered my post so feel free to read it and if any of this sounds good to you feel free to message me (I am sure if you are an interesting person we will get along well, yay).
I am from Germany so my timezone is the timezone of Germany!
To get the most painful thing out of the way, if you hate math or physics, that'd be a big bummer, because they are my two main passions and I don't think I would get along with you if you did not like them, I apologize :(.
So anyways a bit of information about me: As you have probably read from the title, I am a 17 year old guy from the GMT +1 timezone which means if it is midnight for you, its maybe not midnight for me, i dont know, anyways.
I have a lot of interests so I am sure some of yours will be covered by mine and I would love to hear about your interests and what you do in life, because learning about other people is f u n.
My interests include but are not limited to (sounds like an ad slogan, which i mean, this sort of is):
-Physics, Maths, I like both of them -Poetry, I write poems - Reading, I read a bit - Philosophy, metaphysics in particular - Guitar, I like guitar - History, I like history - Movies, series, romance in particular for movies, for my favorite movies you will have to message me - Filmography and music in general are really exciting subjects, if you know anything about that give me info - Learning about other peoples interests - Journalism (I like to do deep dives into various topics)
What I am not particularly interested in is food, I just eat. Thats it, really. I dont know why I mentioned that but whatever its there now.
For all of the people out there that like to know what music I always listen to:

• The Beatles, I love them
• Nirvana, I love them, not everything from them, but I love them

For Nirvana and The Beatles I also really love their history - Queen, because of course - RHCP, they just make good music I guess
My favorite songs are - A day in the life - Bohemian Rhapsody - The man who sold the world (Not the Nirvana cover but the original David Bowie song, you need to listen to it, its wonderful. Dot.)
Also if you can it would be nice for you to write a little bit about why you messaged me, what your interests are or something becuase I find it suprisingly difficult to respond to something such as "hey" or something similar that isnt really a conversation starter or introduction. That would be nice, yay :D
If any of that sparked your interested and you read all that stuff, feel free to message me, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Here is the recap of the 12 monetized posts from Kylea and Joseph "Joe" Gomez of Kylea G Weight loss Journey on 05/20/24. Please view the 15 images above to see Kylea's posts and one important comment.
Matthew 7:15 NIV - "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves."
☎️ If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, please call or text 988 for assistance.
☎️ National Domestic Violence Helpline: Confidential Help is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233. Or text START to 88788.
Disclaimers: I am not a physician, influencer, or paid content creator. I am not affiliated with WW. I am semi-retired from the healthcare field with multiple college degrees. These opinions are my own based on social media content. I wish no harm to Kylea or Joe Gomez.
The tagline of Kylea G Weight loss Journey is, "I changed my entire life with prayer and a playlist of songs. No surgery, no meds. Just Jesus."
DAILY STATS 05/20/24:
0/12 posts discussed prayer
0/12 posts discussed music
0/12 posts discussed exercise
2/12 posts shared a recipe
2/12 additional posts were about something she ate or drank
1/12 posts was a scale picture
7/12 posts were about the new puppy aka BB or Backup Birdie
📢 To our friends at Meta, that means 58% of Kylea's monetized content had nothing to do with weight loss, which is the tagline and purpose of her page. Follow your monetization rules and take action.
⚠️ Disordered Eating- Daily & Weekly WW Points Consumed (Data compiled from monetized content):
4 WW Points: Sugar-free syrup and PB fit- coated applesauce waffles with eggs and a banana
3 WW Points: Premier Protein Shake
3 WW Points: PB fit toast (Sara Lee 45 cal bread) with sliced banana
5 WW Points: Joseph's Lavash Bread Pizza with Canadian Bacon and pineapple
📢 For our friends at Meta, that means Kylea consumed 15 daily WW points out of (up to) 30 and zero weekly WW points out of 28. This is disordered eating and potentially deadly messaging to her 139k+ followers. Please demonetize and deplatform her. Paying an influencer to promote an eating disorder for monetary gain is wrong.
Recipes Shared: 1. Applesauce Waffles (this is her 4th time using this recipe in 6 weeks) 2. Joseph's Lavash Bread Pizza
Comments: I am tired of posts from "Joe" using Kylea's account and her profile. Joe Gomez has a personal FB page. Why did he have to get permission from Kylea to get takeout? How is Joe's Whataburger helping Kylea's followers lose weight when she won't eat it?
Kylea has not disclosed the breed of Backup Birdie (BB) or that the Cavapoo breeder (for Original Birdie) turned her away. Why is she afraid to tell the truth? Why is she being secretive about the vet appt when she previously stated it would be the the day after Birdie's arrival?
Kylea does not understand quality content. BB content is boring and Reddit snarkers strongly suspect she is buying likes, shares, and followers for cheap. Do these companies match new followers interested in your specific content? Nope. They may not even use your primary language. The companies provide instant results to boost engagement (i.e. 1,000 likes in less than 5 minutes). Let that sink in for a moment...
To the cat lovers, Kylea is not sorry for her BB content. Oliver served his purpose to pull at your heartstrings and earn your $$$. I doubt you will see much of him. Otherwise, how do you explain how easily she discarded him (content wise)?
The Scale Picture: If you believe Kylea's weight (to the ounce) has not changed since July 2023 and she is healthy, I have oceanfront property in Joplin, MO for you. 🌊 💖
Her Biological Dad: Why is she planning a birthday surprise when she has made it crystal clear a parade of men were her father figure growing up? Remember, Kylea allegedly convinced a church he was terminally ill to sadfish and receive donations/funds under false pretenses. Make it make sense.
Final thoughts: Kylea Gomez is desperate for you to believe she is a good "mother," loving wife, doting daughter, and Christian woman. She is mentally ill, a modern day Pharisee, and "hers" is not highly favored. Humanizing a puppy is not a healthy coping behavior. She should seek medical care. ☮️ To her top enablers in her family and admin team: At what point are you willing to intervene? Her welfare is more important than social media income.
Takeout Purchase: Crazy Llama Blended coffee for KG: $8 est + tip; Whataburger for Joe (unknown food): $8 est;
Shopping: Puppy Items: Unknown
All info from Reddit. ✌️

https://preview.redd.it/2zqfpqde5s1d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=29b1992562a1e153df13dac76160202827dd888d
New Orleans, USA, April 25th, 1926
So looks like the waitress in that cafe was lucky enough to get enough money from Charlotte LaBoeff to buy her restaurant. When we left the cafe, we followed her to the real estate office of the Fenner Bros. and we waited about an hour, sitting on a bench. Every second I spent on Isaac's shoulder as a frog was me sunbathing, contemplating life, and daydreaming about torturing and murdering Nonon. As Tiana ran out of the office, she beckoned us to follow us.
Tiana: Come along! I gotta show you guys!
We followed her down the street for a couple of blocks before we found the old dilapidated building she was planning to buy. Only seeing the outside of the building, the Fenner brothers came up to the realty sign and removed it.
Tiana: Everything looks peachy keen Mr. Fenner, and Mr. Fenner.
Fenner 1: We have the paperwork ready to sign first thing after Mardi Gras.
Tiana: I'll do you one better. I'll sign them tonight when I see you at the Labouff masquerade ball!
The two brothers ignored her, putting the wooden sign into their car and driving off with it. Suddenly, an older black woman appeared behind Tiana.
Tiana's mother: Table for one please!
She was holding a big sauce pot with a red ribbon on it.
Tiana: Mama!
Tiana's mother: Here's a little something to help you get started.
Tiana: Ah! Daddy's gumbo pot. Oh.
Tiana hugged her mother and she spoke again.
Tiana's mother: I know. I miss him too. Well now, hurry up and open the door.
Upon opening the door, Tiana shut the doors immediately and both her and her mother began to hyperventilate. Something was terribly wrong.
Isaac: T-Tiana is it? Is something wrong?
Suddenly, a hole was smashed through the door by a big furry arm as Tiana and her mother ran over to Isaac and his behind him, screaming!
Tiana: What the hell is that?
Isaac reached for his plasma saw and turned it on. It whirred loudly before both doors were slamme open and a dozen of those rat-humanoid monsters barged out!
Ryuko: Shit! Rat bastards! Come on Isaac, you can take them down! Tell Wiz and Boomstick who's boss!
Issac: Oh I will. I'm an exterminator too on top of being an engineer!
Nonon never seeing these monsters before put her hands on her ears and screamed "Oh my G-d" over and over again as Isaac ran into the fight with me and Buzz as frogs on his shoulder!
Isaac: Mourir monsteurs!
Isaac slashed through the horde, swinging quickly and broadly as he cut them down multiple at a time! He jumped high into the air and used his summoned swords magic to shoot two rat bastards, impaling them before clapping and blowing them along with any nearby rat bastards up!
Nonon: What are those things? Oh my G-d!
Gamagoori as a big bullfrog woke up and climbed out of Nonon's pocket.
Gamagoori: Rats! The monsters Wiz and Boomstick created to try and slow Ryuko down so she can't save Mako! Come on! We gotta fight them!
As Isaac cut them up, we saw two cheese pukers emerge from the open door, I called it out to him but saw a big mass of bricks on the roof.
Ryuko: Cheese pukers! Don't let them get close! I'm gonna take them down!
Isaac: Ryuko wait no!
I hopped off his shoulder with Buzz and we hopped onto the wall, climbed up before hopping over to the mass of bricks, me and buzz then began to push them off all at once slowly before they all fell onto the stationary cheese pukers, causing them to explode! Blood, guts, and rotten cheese slurry splattered all over the street, the sight and sent caused Tiana, Nonon and her mother to puke.
Gamagoori hopped out of Nonon's pocket and hopped over to the wall and climbed up with us.
Gamagoori: I'm gonna help! Isaac! More are coming!
More rat bastards charged at Isaac, but he began to cut them all down as they got close. The ones that tried to swipe and swing at him were easily dodge as Isaac was very fast. He dodged, dashed and even did backflips to avoid their attacks all while cutting them down with one swing of his powerful plasma blade! Emerging from the door once more was a big, muscular rat monster with crusty, disgusting fur with dead, diseased rat fetuses stuck to it. It ripped one out and threw it at Isaac, he dodged it quickly!
Isaac: Tiana duck!
Tiana, Nonon and her mother ducked as the diseased rat-humanoid corpse flew over their heads, mere inches from their scalps. Isaac then used his summoned swords magic again and threw two glowing blue swords into it before clapping and blowing it into bloody chunks! None of it's diseased biomass hit us or our human friends bellow.
Isaac: That's not all...
We heard a tapping sound, it became more rapid as Tiana, Nonon and her mother squeaked in fear and all three got rolled into a ball to protect themselves. Out of the doorway was the last rat bastard, but the most horrific looking one. It was as big as the doorway, it had six spider legs, it's body was a big mass of gray fur with two rat bastard heads and a human head wearing a crown in the middle. The human head was familiar however, with the burned scar over it's left eye and brown hair.
Ryuko: Santa told me... Those rat bastards are from a mix of rodent DNA and DNA from Z-Zuko! That's Zuko's head?
The Zuko head stared at Isaac for a moment before it's mouth opened up, revealing hideous, rotten needle-like teeth!
Zuko head: Rarrgggghhhhh!
It ran over to Isaac, trying to get one of it's disgusting heads to bite him, but he jumped around and avoided it! He whirred his plasma saw loudly before jumping behind it but before he could cut it's three heads off, the new rat bastard spun around and bit his plasma saw, holding it in place. One of it's spider legs swept Isaac's legs and he fell to the ground. It then slowly began using it's heads that bit onto the plasma saw while having it's mouths avoid the cutting blue blades press on further, as the plasma saw was pushed further to Isaac's neck, he sweated profusely!
Isaac: You! Mon-steur! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Isaac struggled with it before Tiana ran up behind it with a random wooden plank she used as a club and hit it over the human head! It let go and pulled back and turned towards Tiana, hissing at her before Isaac began to slowly overpower the two rodent heads still pushing on! The two head's teeth accidentally slipped on the blade and Isaac soon cut through their heads, killing two of them. Tiana jammed the wooden plank down the human Zuko head's throat but it bit down and bit the plank in half! Isaac's plasma saw then cut the human head off after cutting through the two other rodent heads from behind! Isaac then kicked the newly killed monster off of him high into the air before Isaac dropped his plasma saw, grabbed it by the legs and swung around with it like a track and field throwing ball before releasing it and it flew high into the sky, so high as a matter of fact that we eventually lost visual contact with it as it travelled so high.
Isaac took some deep breaths before picking up his plasma saw, turning it off and holstering it on his side.
Tiana: Are they gone?
Nonon: What were those things?
Isaac: You didn't run into them? They're the race created by Wiz and Boomstick to kidnap Mako. They're monsteurs me and Ryuko fought. If you want to travel with us, you better not be dead weight. You did nothing to help. Ryuko, Buzz and Gamagoori can't fight at their best right now because of you. So you can do your part or get out.
Nonon: Yes sir. I'll-gulp try.
Tiana: T-thank you for saving me. You are very strong and handsome!
Isaac: Ma plaisir.
Tiana: Did you fight in the great war? You are French after all.
Isaac: Great war? World War o- oh... No I didn't. What year is it again?
Tiana: 1926!
Isaac: 1926! I'm only 26. I... I was 18 in-
Tiana: 1918. Did you fight?
Isaac: Errrr... That's not important. Anyway, I'm going inside your new restaurant. I'll check for any more of those rat bastards.
Tiana: Thank you. Can you tell me when it's clear?
Isaac: Oui.
Isaac proceeded into the ruins before me, Buzz and Gamagoori hopped down a hole from the ceiling, landing on his shoulder.
Isaac: I should of known we travelled back in time in this world. We're in 1926. I wouldn't be born until 1992.
Ryuko: Dang. We're 92 years in the past. Yet again we were in the 15th century months ago.
Gamagoori: What are you talking about?
Ryuko: Me and Isaac going through these worlds, some of them are in the past, one was in 1482! This is the second historical world we've been sent into to find the next dimensional stone.
Buzz: Interuniversal and time travel I see. Your civilization is more advanced then I thought.
Ryuko: Well, it's magic really.
Buzz: Magic! Interesting. I wonder if I can use any.
Ryuko: We'll find out.
Gamagoori: I hope you guys know what you're doing. Will the dimensional stones lead us to Mako?
Ryuko: Yep! Sure will. It will lead us to Mako, we'll save her from Death Battle and we'll kill Wiz, Boomstick and their raping ringmaster.
Gamagoori: I just hope we don't get stuck in the past. I hope you know what you're doing. Also I want to be human again.
Ryuko: We'll get there eventually.
Meanwhile, in the streets of New Orleans, Prince Naveen was joining a street band playing Jazz as everyone was surrounding him, the women were especially fawning over him. His fat servant ran over to him!
Lawrence: Prince!
Naveen: Dance with me, fat man!
The prince took his servant's hand and began to dance around with him for a minute before he announced a proposal to the crowd.
Naveen: Drinks are all on me!
Everyone was cheering, but the servant grabbed the prince and pulled him closer to question him.
Lawrence: How are we going to pay for all of that? You have no money! Either you go and slip out when nobody's looking, or get a job!
Lawrence pointed over to a man behind a horse shoveling it's poop into a bucket.
Naveen: Eugh, fine Lawrence. But first, we dance!
He pulled Lawrence even closer and began to dance with him. The prince let go of Lawrence and he stumbled into the band and his head ended up inside of a tuba!
Naveen: Ha ha! You're finally in the music! Get it? Because your head is inside of a tuba? Ha ha!
Lawrence: Get me out of here!
Naveen and a member of the band pulled at Lawrence before both the prince and his servant were flung out of a tuba and up against a wall!
Lawrence: Agh! How degrading! This is... Oh hello?
Looking up, a slender figure in a black suit and black top hat appeared, he had a top hat with a skull and crossbones on it. This man looked suspicious but he greeted both of them kindly.
Dr. Facilier: Gentlemen! Enchante?
He lowered his walking stick, allowing the prince to grab on so he can be lifted up.
Dr. Facilier: A tip of the hat from Dr. Facilier! How y'all doing?
He handed the prince a purple business card.
Naveen: Tarot readings? Charms? Potions? Dreams made real?
Naveen and Facilier began to walk around a corner into an alleyway.
Dr. Facilier: I'm in the business of visiting royalty. Lawrence followed him.
Naveen: Lawrence! Lawrence! This remarkable gentleman has just read my palm.
Lawrence: Over this morning's newspaper. Sire, sire, this chap is obviously a charlatan. I suggest we move on to a-
Dr. Facilier: Don't you disrespect me little man! Don't you derogate or deride! You're in my world now. Not your world. And I got friends on the other side!
An echo was heard, saying "Friends on the other side".
Dr. Facilier: That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in Louisiana, a little parlor trick. Don't worry.
Dr. Facilier led the two to a door under a sign saying "Dr. Facilier's voodoo emporium", and once leading them in, him and his shadow sat them down at a table as Dr. Facilier high-fived his shadow then took a seat and continued his singing.
Dr. Facilier: Sit down at my table, put your minds at ease, if you relax it will enable me to do anything I please. I can read your future, I can change it 'round some, too, I'll look deep into your heart and soul. You have a soul too, don't you Lawrence?
Lawrence: Yes?
Dr. Facilier: Make your wildest dreams come true! I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got things I ain't even tried! And I got friends on the other side.
Dr. Facilier pulled out a deck of tarot cards and shuffled them before the duo as he continued to sing at them.
Dr. Facilier: The cards, the cards, the cards will tell the past, the present, and the future as well! The cards, the cards, just take three, take a little trip into your future with me!
Naveen and Lawrence picked three cards before Dr. Facilier took them and told them to the duo. He started with the prince first and continued to sing about his tarot card readings.
Dr. Facilier: Now you, young man, are from across the sea. You come from two long lines of royalty. I'm a royal myself on my mother's side. Your lifestyle's high but your funds are low. You need to marry a lil' honey whose daddy got dough! Mom and dad cut you off, huh playboy?
Naveen: Eh, sad but true.
Dr. Facilier: Now y'all gotta get hitched, but hitching ties you down. You just wanna be free, hop from place to place But freedom takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need. And when I looked into your future it's the green that I see!
He then turned to Lawrence and read his tarot card results to him in a musical fashion.
Dr. Facilier: On you little man, I don't wanna waste much time. You been pushed around all your life, you been pushed around by your mother and your sister and your brother, and if you was married, you'd be pushed around by your wife. But in your future, the you I see is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
Dr. Facilier crossed his arms and expected the duo to shake his hands.
Dr. Facilier: Shake my hand, come on boys. Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?
Naveen shook reluctantly as Lawrence shook with a mischievous grin on his face. Once they did that, the curtains came down and an army of singing masks began to sing as Naveen and Lawrence were suddenly bound to their chairs!
Dr. Facilier: Yes! Are you ready?
Voodoo spirits: Are you ready?
Dr. Facilier: Are you ready? Transformation central!
Voodoo spirits: Transformation central!
Dr. Facilier: Reformation central
Voodoo spirits: Reformation central!
Dr. Facilier: Transmogofication central!
Dr. Facilier then pulled out a talisman and clipped Naveen's finger with it, getting blood into it and initiating a curse with it.
Can you feel it? You're changin', you're changin', you're changin', all right! I hope you're satisfied, but if you ain't, don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the other side!
The musical number ended as Dr. Facilier danced around with the voodoo spirits!
Voodoo spirits: You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!
Dr. Facilier then dashed forward on his knees before blowing, and everything went dark.
Back at Tiana's new restaurant, Isaac emerged from the doors, me, Gamagoori and Buzz were in his pockets as he approached Tiana.
Isaac: Good news Tiana, it's all clear!
Tiana: Oh thank you! You're my hero Isaac! Now, I just need to make some changes around here, so I may turn this into my dream. It will have to wait. I have to eventually go to the masquerade ball tonight.
Isaac: Oui.