Groped skirt tube

So my little sister is gen z . She’s 20 now. But she was basically home schooled because she was sick from 8-15 years old. She basically watched a lot of YouTube and had full access to the internet not monitored in anyway. I say this part because I think it played a big part in her influence. I left the home for the military at age 20 when she was 8. While I lived with her she I was her big influence. She was girly and never acted in a way that showed she was uncomfortable In girls clothes. I’m a female bisexual but feminine. Queerness runs in my family we are all Neuro divergent in some way wether it’s ADHD or high functioning autism. I think people like this are bound to be more “free”
But I’m wondering if y’all would really consider her trans. When I came back from the military she got a boyfriend that was transgender. she’s had a crush on a girl before . Ever since she got him as a BF she all of the sudden was talking about being trans at age 16. She never dresses like a boy just a teen that didn’t have a style. And I told her many people take time to know them selves. Not to mention we grew up with abusive parents than never let us develop our sense of self. She would act inappropriate, and where to thigh high socks in mini skirts when her sister’s boyfriend was at home. I remember asking her why she felt she was trans and she said because she doesn’t look like a girl so she might as well be a boy. She had Crohn’s disease so she’s under developed for a girl. But I told her the way you act and dress can help you be more feminine. Just because you have a flat chest doesn’t make sense just be a boy? I feel like the reasons she gives doesn’t make sense. That and she still only dates men. I suspect that my father abused her, and she feels that being a woman isn’t safe, because women are prayed upon. it’s common when women are sexually abused then they gain a lot of weight because they feel like who wants to touch an extremely fat person so then they feel safe in the extra weight makes your body feel safer. she’s changed her name and now we can’t even call her by her biological name. I’m just trying to be there for her as her big sister. Only time will tell.
As a transgender person what people are you attracted to? Do you think I’m valid for thinking she doesn’t know herself because our history of abuse?

So my little sister is gen z . She’s 20 now. But she was basically home schooled because she was sick from 8-15 years old. She basically watched a lot of YouTube and had full access to the internet not monitored in anyway. I say this part because I think it played a big part in her influence. I left the home for the military at age 20 when she was 8. While I lived with her she I was her big influence. She was girly and never acted in a way that showed she was uncomfortable In girls clothes. I’m a female bisexual but feminine. Queerness runs in my family we are all Neuro divergent in some way wether it’s ADHD or high functioning autism. I think people like this are bound to be more “free”
But I’m wondering if y’all would really consider her trans. When I came back from the military she got a boyfriend that was transgender. she’s had a crush on a girl before . Ever since she got him as a BF she all of the sudden was talking about being trans at age 16. She never dresses like a boy just a teen that didn’t have a style. And I told her many people take time to know them selves. Not to mention we grew up with abusive parents than never let us develop our sense of self. She would act inappropriate, and where to thigh high socks in mini skirts when her sister’s boyfriend was at home. I remember asking her why she felt she was trans and she said because she doesn’t look like a girl so she might as well be a boy. She had Crohn’s disease so she’s under developed for a girl. But I told her the way you act and dress can help you be more feminine. Just because you have a flat chest doesn’t make sense just be a boy? I feel like the reasons she gives doesn’t make sense. That and she still only dates men. I suspect that my father abused her, and she feels that being a woman isn’t safe, because women are prayed upon. it’s common when women are sexually abused then they gain a lot of weight because they feel like who wants to touch an extremely fat person so then they feel safe in the extra weight makes your body feel safer. she’s changed her name and now we can’t even call her by her biological name. I’m just trying to be there for her as her big sister. Only time will tell.
As a transgender person what people are you attracted to? Do you think I’m valid for thinking she doesn’t know herself because our history of abuse?

Was wondering can anybody help me with this? Or do you struggle with this yourself? A little bit of a backstory so you can understand me better, at the age of 16 God saved me, I fell into a cult very early on as a baby Christian and that lasted for years. Not only was I in a cult but when I finally got out of that cult there were other people who I was watching on YouTube who had cult like tendencies. It’s like I kept falling into cult after cult. It’s like the enemy had people waiting on me after I dropped one person, until finally I had to cut everyone off. Fast forward til now God has been bringing me out of a lot of what I was taught but it’s not easy, I’m still having a hard time believing in a lot of stuff because my mind has been programmed to believe one thing. I feel like I really underestimated cult programming. Anyways, God has been teaching me to love myself as I am right now and He’s been teaching me that I am more than just my body and outward appearance but I feel like He also has been telling me things about modesty and how it’s about respect for myself and less having to do with a man. You see, even when I was wearing the long skirts back then and dressed modestly I still felt like my body was an object because everything that I did involving my body revolves around a man. I’m growing curves and I’m afraid of my beauty, I’m afraid to acknowledge it and be beautiful. When I see other women’s beauty I become afraid for them because I’m so afraid of causing a man to lust and being responsible for it. I’m not saying that I should walk around in tight clothes and dressing revealing, absolutely not! But I do want to finally start wearing clothes that are cute and that I actually like but I’m just so afraid. If there’s a man reading this, can you please share your experience with being able to acknowledge beauty but not lust? I hope my question makes sense. Please be genuine. I’m tired of hearing stories about men lusting and therefore I have to cover even my face to not make them lust after me. As for women what did God teach you about this? Have you dealt with the same things?? Please share your experience.

I just recently bought a McCall's pattern, M8359, and my measurements for it are all over the charts. My bust measures in at 36 my waist at 32 and 9 inches below the waist at 44 with my back of neck to waist measuring in at 16 which puts me at size 14, 18, 20 and, 10 (sizes in order of my measurements) The pattern says that if my figure is a combination of two or more sizes to select the cutting lines that correspond to your size at bust waist and hip and mark with colored felt tip pen then to blend the newly marked lines from one side to another creating your own customized pattern. But I don't really know what that means and I can't seem to find any type of YouTube video to help me. I've been sewing for years and making my own creations for dresses, skirts and such but this is my very first time following an actual pattern. Am I just overthinking it?

I have basic sewing skills. I took home ec back in high school in the 90s. I’ve made curtains, pillow case dresses, lap blankets, a few basic things like skirts, etc, and lots of face masks during Covid. However, I want to get better. I learn way better by watching than by just reading when it comes to projects and such. So, who are your favorite folks to watch on YouTube for sewing?

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
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How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

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How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

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Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

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What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


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Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

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Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

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If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

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Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

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"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

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Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

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If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

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The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

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What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

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Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

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Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

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How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

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Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

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The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

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It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

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Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

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“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

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Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

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How do you find your purpose? You create it.

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Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

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Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

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A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

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How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

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Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

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Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

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If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

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10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

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‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

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Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

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Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

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Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

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‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

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Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

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Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

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‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

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How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

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Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

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Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

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Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

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I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

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I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

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A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

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A good actress will melt into her role.

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Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

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To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

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“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

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How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

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Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

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Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

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How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

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Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

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Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

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· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

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When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

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The better you look, the more successful he looks.

~~

Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

~~

“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”

Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.

How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

~~

People who talk less are generally more well respected.

~~

“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

~~

Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

~~

· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~

Bad batch ended and now we have no show with clones. I could recommend a new show but I think Disney matured enought to rewrite the whole CW series.
So I heard you liked the clones and especially Domino squad. So in the remake we will add more clone squads with gambling thematics, like the Roulette squad, Slot machine squad and Blackjack squad with their own respective members commanded by CC3530 Clone Commander Crackwhore and CC4540 Stripper who is in rivalry with the 221st's Squad Leader CC2520 Condom.
Get ready for reanimated battles since we reimagined the Obi Wan vs Grievous, Obi Wan vs Grievous, Obi Wan vs Grievous, Obi Wan vs Grievous, Obi Wan vs Grievous, Anakin vs Dooku, Anakin vs Dooku, Anakin vs Dooku, Anakin and Obi Wan vs Dooku, Obi Wan vs Grievous, Jar Jar vs Guanray, Anakin vs Dooku and most importantly Jar Jar vs Nightsisters battles. If you did not like the Grievous vs Obi Wan fight that's bad news because we added 3 more of them and four more Anakin vs Dooku and even Ahsoka and Maul will fight for one more time.
New arcs? Hell yeah! D Squad part 2, Jar Jar and Windu will go on a 8 episodes arc while Jar Jar commands a whole clone batallion. Wat Tambor X Clovis situationship, Lothal arc will peak when clones will fight droids on Lothal. I plan a Scariff arc where clones fight droids on Scariff. Also we can't forget about the C3PO going evil and murdering chi.. I mean the Endor arc when clones fight droids and ewoks on Endor. Talking about arcs I know what you waited for. Yes, Krell will get an origin story but that's nothing! Our team is already animating a full episode of clones kicking, spitting on, urinating on and disrespecting Krell's corpse.
Talking about characters we updated a few. For example Ahsoka. A lot of fans told us it was not the best idea for her to wear a short skirt and tube top as a 14 years old girl and we couldn't agree more. That's why we hired our expert, Dan Schneider from Nickelodeon. He gave us some ideas about the character design so we came up with the hardest outfit we can imagine: Booty shorts, slim, shiny latex top and stripper heels. And a surprise outfit for the beach episode. With this outfit Ahsoka will look like a more experienced woman who can take at least 100 men... in a fight.

I am in the process of scouting my first fleece, armed with the knowledge of several YouTube videos. I am in my fifth bath for the wool and still getting dirty water. The first two times, I completely forgot about the Dawn, but the last 3 rinses have included it. The water is still coming away dirty, although it does look a little better each time. The water is very hot, so I don't think that's an issue. My questions are:

1. Can you scour it too many times? I am worried about it felting up from coming in and out of the water, getting squeezed, etc. But the water is still dirty each time so???
   
2. How do I keep the fleece down in the water? It keeps rising to the top, which makes it hard because dirt and grime just float right on top of it?
   
3. I did skirt and lightly pick the fleece before washing it, but it was very dirty and it feels like there's still a ton of grit in it. Any suggestions?
   

This fleece was definitely in no way protected while in the sheep so it is filthy.
The sheep is a Shetland/Romney cross, but the staple length is a bit shorter than normal because the sheep did not grow a super long coat in a half year.
It was practically free and I'm using it as a learning opportunity, so any advice is very welcome.

I tried commenting on my last post with this, but I kept getting an error.
Hello! Here is my packing list for an upcoming G Adventures Central America Tour (19 days): Feel free to let me know if there is anything you would add or subtract! Clothing: (in packing cubes) • Sunhat (Athleta) • Tevas • Keds • Rain jacket (Marmot) • 2x Swim tops (Amazon) • 2x Shorts (for swim/pajamas) (Nike) • Sleep tank • 3x Bras • 6x Underwear • 6x Tops (I was planning to cut down, but they all ended up fitting in the cube so I kept them) (Champion and Old Navy) • 2x Pants (North Face Aphrodite 2.0) • Sleep pants (could take these out) • Skirt (Sundry) • Dress (prAna, built in bra!) • Pashima from Italy (for warmth)
Inside personal item: (Kanken) • Water bottle • Charging brick • Sunglasses • 2x Lip balm • Tissues • Pads • Bandages • Sting relief wipes • Pills (allergies, pain, lactaid) • Deodorant • Lip stain (might get thrown out by TSA) • Hair ties • Earplugs • Belt bag with wallet, passport, phone, lip balm
Toiletries: • 3x Clay mask samples • Face cleanser • Moisturizer • Squalane/rose oil • Prescription acne medicine • 3x Conditioner mask samples • Hair serum sample • 5x Sunscreen sample • Toothpaste • Laundry soap liquid • Curly hair stylers (Shea Moisture and Ouidad)
• Solid shampoo and Dove bar soap (to be cut in half) • Q-tips • 2x Travel deodorant • Wide tooth comb • Razor • Toothbrush
Makeup: • Eyeliner • Sparkle eyeshadow • Small eye brush • Blush (Clinique Cheek Pop) • Retractable blush brush • Tube mascara • Liquid lipstick (might replace with solid for TSA) • Berry lip balm
Miscellaneous: • Bag filled with ziplocks • Hair accessories (headbands, clips, hairbands) • Travel clothesline • Pads stash • First aid kit (immodium, Ibuprofen, lactaid, bandaids, tape, antibacterial wipes, sting relief wipes, gauze sponge and roll, burn cream, hand sanitizer) • 8x Liquid IV • Travel microfiber towel (Amazon) • 20x protein bars (hidden throughout onebag) • Reusable tote bag • Bag locks and S-biners • Eyemask for sleeping

My45 F boyfriend M 47 can't see the extent of his addiction.ww are together over 4 yrs have broken up a few times for different reasons.he went to prostitues for 6 yrs before me.this man is absolutely so handsome yet his porn addiction led him there to the point he could only engage with prostitute's mainly.i believed all this was past tense when we met.different times throughout I could see him watching endless YouTube thirst traps perving on girls in Facebook Instagram continuosly.out in public seeking to look at attractive women wherever we are..focusing on them..going into trance . We broke up for 9 months and in getting back I said he has to get a therapist.he did.he goes once every 2 weeks..that's it. He can't see ..he has a problem out in public..he cannot see it..he has no awareness..it's so engrained..he's completely hard wired..today he said I have jealousy issues and once again that I have Othello syndrome because he once again looked like a rabbit caught in headlights cos a blonde girl in a short skirt walked by our car.. What can I do here..I feel like ending it because..we have fought about this so much..he broke up with me before because I was getting so upset about him in public .is it absurd to say a prostitue visiting porn addict has an issue in public places also..because he truly believes I'm crazy..or maybe I am?!!!

• my first symptoms of concern was this itch and small rashes that would move around my body I initially put it down to using too much deet due to the amount of fishing and adventuring we had been doing, keep in mind Dan n my relationship is only a few months in and this is the first time in 13 years of cohabitating with another adult human live in for me!
• you got the picture I was diagnosed by a doctor that happened to be workingthat Saturday we walked out happy but unfortunately this could not be furtherest away from being happy nor rid of these party pooper fun police fuck wits
• 15 doctors seen all having their own go at my prognosis umpteen emergency visits just to be semt away with another fist full of prescriptions n still no real answer as to what r these black spots that just appear randomly all different sizes
• dermatologist referrals x2 gone quiet, since my last diagnosis from the doc saying “you have a manifested infestation, not sure how you can make tunnels n burrows appear out of your skin
  
• With the treatment ps I have large swollen areas like they are in there rallying the troops FFS
  
• Yes delirium is real – this is proving to you how strong you are, WARRIOR AT WAR!
  
• I HAVE tried many NONconservative methods that would be frowned upon BY many example of this is MALOWASH for dogs YEP I did that bow my head in shame NOT (a girl needs to go fishing and nothing should stop that especially these crawling critters from the bowels of hell – that is all except by my ever endearing father – we joke daily on what we were going to do to them next, Dad is ex pest control so he suggested the CLOTHES dryer and our STAR WARS LASER (none other than his fogger from the old days) – solution in fogger is White Spirits & Fipronil – highly toxic to pets / humans everyone needs to leave the house go outside and get around 60-90 sunlight on everyones bellies will do you all the world of good while that settles – the fogger person needs to be the least effected by the free loaders in order to protect the open wounded from the poison. PS my Mum is right up in it too, shes like “oh good you got that next stuff on send me some videos” (cause I have nothing better to do with my time)
  
• Ensure you are organized this is going to test your will power, everyone in the household needs to be responsible for if they see a white or black spec no matter what the fuck it is, pick it up on your FINGER AND GO TO THE NEAREST SINK AND WASH the dickheads away – its about reducing the population people, if you are going to play with them and video them same again go wash your hands dispose of the village idiot and redo your golden juice tube or LICENER at the least – the LICENER IS going to ensure you use the cream only where they need to be terroised enough to move out but uh you have a LICENER BARRIER UP and they do not go past that, I squeeze the licener into my scalp when I feel a itch rather than scratch at it – THESE ARE THE VILLAGE IDIOTS THE LESS INTERACTION WITH THEM THE BETTER! They were the words of my amazing partner Dan that basically came up with this devised plan and now work in progress – good steed to all further installments to follow.
  
• Stay on top of the Panadol every 4 hours along with your histermine regime I am on some like anti depressant gay meds for sleep FML I so wanted valium or a million dollars either or. I got a whiteboard marker n note next Panadol,antihistamine due then that’s one less thing to remember or ask another question for haha
  
• My amazing partner scientist sent me this link – he wasn’t ever giving up hope on this and has been ever so supportive even with it coming onto my face now, I know abstain abstain blah blah YOU ALL NEED TO DO THE CATEGORY TEST FOLLOW THIS LINK AND GET YOURSELF SORTED ASAP
  
• https://dermnetnz.org/topics/crusted-scabies
  
• MY Dan we got all the medication together and organized first so we were not going to be let down by the plan; Day 1 ORAL & TOPICAL – 24 HOUR STAY ON TIME – I wear bike pants cause my legs are not bad at all – COAT IN LICENER AND PUT ON yes its hard but just deal – cut up a clove of garlic and half for one foot and half for the other put clove inside sock on the bottom of your feet again deal! – chop up and swallow 4 cloves of garlic or if the littles of the fam can’t swallow buy – ORGANIC CRUSHED GARLIC AND get in over a few meals. DAY 2 ORAL & TOPICAL – 24 HOURS STAY ON WILL BE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT FOR next shower regime. DAY 3-7 TOPICAL WITH THE 24 max STAY ON – STAY TUNED – if you want pics just e-mail me please at [rebecca.medley@pipanz.com](mailto:rebecca.medley@pipanz.com)
  
• we also spray the house every morning with 50/50 ALCO 75% & VINEGAR we call it VINISO SPRAY on skirting boards vacuum 3 times a day n have a hand held with a Hepa filter so convenient remember to empty wash let dry in the sun put on charge
  
• I have made a receipe that goes into small balls that attracts them they eat some of it and take back to any nests of any pesty crawling critters – we hardly have an ant now so winning.
  
• support your support person while they are resting n you are up with your tweekers do some house work to make the next day a little nicer for them too, try your hardest not to make this the focus of your time together helps everyone mentally cope, he is out fishing right now has his phone I hope he catches a fish but mainl gets some alone time in his thoughts xx
  
• The sun is your friend 90 minutes minimum while thick for cushions pillows that can’t go in the dryer
  
• need more tips or want pics email this Bec 7 months post contraction 5 months infested
  

there is heaps more to the Bec n Dan story
Pics are life pre infestation n to now 🙃🙃🙃
rebecca. r[mailto:rebecca.medley@pipanz.com](mailto:rebecca.medley@pipanz.com)

Hello all!
First let me preface this by saying I am not judging anyone for their fashion choice or how they choose to present themselves in public. I am simply requesting help in taking an aesthetic I find beautiful and put my twist on it.🫶🏿❤️
I love the black girl earthy look and I follow a lot creators that have this style and save images on Pinterest. The only issue I have is that I notice a lot of the clothing pieces are rather revealing. Skirts with high slits, tops with deep v-cut, back exposed, etc. These creators look amazing and it looks great on them but I don’t like wearing revealing clothes.
How can I explore this fashion style and while still wearing modest apparel? Whenever I try to put an outfit together it isn’t giving the same energy lol. Also, if anyone knows of content creators that focus on modest fashion please drop their YouTube/ig.
Thank you!!

The new gift-specific dialogue from the 1.6 update has me absolutely tickled pink! This one especially… I also haven’t practiced my creative writing in a while, and I decided it needed to happen sooner rather than later, so here, have a short story! Sorry if it's boring… I’m a little rusty!
“A Gift From The Void”
It was only yesterday… No one was quite sure where it had come from. There had been a sinister cackling noise ringing through the night air and Abigail had mentioned seeing an unidentifiable shape soaring through the sky during her walk home from the cemetery. The townsfolk gossiped and speculated about what it could have been that evening, but by the next morning they still hadn’t come to any reasonable explanation. It was only yesterday, and yet the entire village seemed to have already put it out of their minds and moved on. The scandal and chatter following the “Anchovy Soup Incident” at the Summer Luau several years back had lasted far longer than this… Even now Sam was still getting sideways glances whenever he got within a 20 foot radius of the soup cauldron, but this just blows over in less than a day? The priorities of small town people were strange.
Things had gone back to that same semblance of backwater, middle-of-nowhere kind of normal, and now the night had become just the same as any other Friday evening. Sebastian was playing a round of billiards with Sam, and while Sam was preoccupied with lining up the cue with his intended target ball, the farmer strolled into the saloon and up to the bar. Heads turned and raised to the newcomer for a moment before returning to whatever it was that had been previously holding their attention. Sebastian caught the sudden flourish of movement out of his periphery, but didn’t pay it much mind. The farmer ordered a coffee and a plate of the night’s special, and struck up a conversation with Gus about a peculiar egg that had materialized in their coop seemingly out of nowhere the night before. Apparently they’d decided to tuck it away into the incubator and wait to see what… if anything hatched from it.
Sebastian had never really been one to eavesdrop, but the wait for Sam to make his move was becoming boring, and sometimes the stories that passed around the saloon on Friday evenings got interesting depending on who all was involved. The story didn’t really go too far into detail. The farmer poked at their food until it had cooled enough to not scald the inside of their mouth, then they took a few bites before bringing up the events of the previous evening. What first started off as a funny story seemed to turn into some deep discussion with Gus about the mysteries of life. Eventually, Willy and Elliott were caught up in the mirth and it turned into a medley of strange tales from faraway lands and once-upon-a-times. Obviously exaggerated sightings of fearsome creatures on a midnight stormy sea, legends of colossal white whales, references to works written by masters of the mystery genre, as well as some from a trashy neo-noir novel or two that had probably been picked up from a bookstore clearance shelf.
Willy stroked his beard and mused about some daring battle between himself and a fish of questionable proportions that seemed to grow larger each time he told the story. Sebastian had heard this one before. The fight over the line had gone on for over an hour before the shadow of the fish rose near to the surface, and just before Willy could land the monster of a catch, it dove below again, taking the whole fishing rod overboard and nearly Willy himself with it.
Elliott gulped down the last few swigs of ale in his tankard, slapped the farmer firmly on the back, snorted and chuckled in an ungraceful yet jolly display that only ever crept out of him when he’d had a bit too much to drink.
“That fish becomes more miraculous each time he talks about it!” Elliott shook his head and smiled as he leaned almost a little too far forward. There was a slight sway to his posture and he tried to straighten his body back in line with the barstool. “To life, and her many little silly tricks of fate, my friends!” he declared. He raised the empty mug, and with his free hand, delicately tucked a few strands of stray hair behind his ear with the tips of his fingers. He rested his elbow back on the bar before he could lose his balance and sighed contently. Elliott’s cheeks were practically glowing red at this point and it was a wonder that he wasn’t slurring his words yet.
“Aye, you’ve all heard my fish story haven’t ye?” Willy chuckled. “How ‘bout the one about the Baba Yaga?” the farmer’s head tilted and they gazed curiously at the fisherman. Willy rested his foot on the crossbar of the barstool, lifted the rim of his hat out of his line of sight, and leaned into the counter. “Some know ‘er as the cannibal witch… others say she’s just a misunderstood haggard ol’ woman who lives alone out in woods or marshes. It’s said she lives a rickety old house that stands on chicken feet, and she likes to lure weary travelers into ‘er home, only to gobble ‘em up once they let their guard down. Apparently she’s especially fond of the taste of children…” He laughed in a hoarse tone and made strange spider-like gestures with his calloused hands as if he were telling campfire stories to a group of kids. The farmer’s nose wrinkled at the outlandish notion of some feral old woman devouring toddlers, and Willy laughed heartily at their reaction. “I think that last part the parents like to add into the story to frighten the little ones. It keeps ‘em from wondering into the forests and swamps alone at night.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes and glanced back to the pool table. He watched the cue ball clack into the twelve before the twelve bounced off the barriers in the corner of the table and rolled slowly to a stop on the felt surface without pocketing. Sam huffed and stood back upright.
“You really aren’t very good at this, are you?” Seb chimed as he returned his full attention to the game at hand. Sam grinned and laughed.
“Nope!”
“Watch and learn….” Sebastian took aim at the cue ball, and after a single firm strike, drove it into the tiny gap between the two and seven. The cue stopped hard, but the two and seven sped to the opposite corners of the foot of the table, each dropping into one of the corner pockets simultaneously. Sam scoffed and paced about the pool room, but looked back over his shoulder just in time to catch Sebastian with a triumphantly cheeky grin on his face. Sam clicked his tongue and lightly thumped the base of his cue stick into the floorboards.
“Show-off…” he mumbled.
Elliott lifted the rim of the empty vessel to his lips, then chuckled again as he noticed the absence of ale and gestured it in Gus’ direction.
“Good sir, my glass is empty and…. I’m a writer!”
“Maybe you should stop for tonight…” the farmer interjected. “You won’t be sober enough to start your next chapter in the morning!” Elliott rolled his eyes and leaned against the bar counter. He tried to give one of his best theatrically exasperated sighs, but when the exhale turned into a case of the hiccups, they knew he was down for the count. He smiled defiantly and tried his best to look dignified through the sudden spasms in his diaphragm and soused thousand yard stare.
“I-am fiiine… ne’re betta’…”
“…..Aaaand, there he goes…” Leah giggled from the end of the bar counter. “It’s like dropping a ton of bricks on a peach.”
“I oughtta’ help the ol’ scallywag home, I s’pose!” Willy groaned as he stood from the bar stool. He smiled as he hoisted one of Elliott’s arms over his shoulders and stood him up from the bar stool. “C’mon you menace… Let’s get ya home before you make a fool of yourself in front of all the lassies!” he chuckled. Sam took a moment to appreciate the situation at the bar counter. He shook his head and laughed, then took another shot at the 12 and missed horribly yet again.
“Easy does it there!” Emily cooed as she cleared away the empty tankard. “Try not to drop him too hard!” Elliott wobbled towards the door as Willy struggled to keep him upright, and just before they stepped out into the lukewarm summer evening, the farmer waved one last farewell and called out to the well marinated dandy-man as he staggered away.
“Nighty-night! Sleep tight, Rapunzel!” they chirped. Elliot responded to the joke by blowing an overly exaggerated kiss over his shoulder and daintily waiving his fingertips at the company in the saloon, then he nearly tripped over himself as he turned back to the path home. A couple of snorts, giggles and guffaws rose up over the music and chatter in the saloon and quickly melted back into the white noise once the moment passed.
Seb looked Sam in the eyes with a determined glare and smirked.
“Eight in the corner pocket….” Seb didn’t have a clear shot, but leaned over the table, reared back the stick and spiked it into the cue ball. It ricocheted from the bumper, side-swiped the eight, and put just enough force into the edge to cause it to spin sideways into the pocket he’d called. Sam laughed and scratched at the back of his head.
“Awwww, man…” he groaned. “You got me again!” Sam leaned against his cue stick and looked over the table before his eyes lit up in anticipation. “How about a best three out of five?” Abigail giggled at Sam’s request as she stretched and leaned back into the sofa.
“Give it up, blondie! He cooks your goose at this game EVERY single time…. You’re doomed.” She teased. “It’s getting late anyways…”
…
It had been almost a month since the odd shape had been spotted flying over town at this point. Seb and Abby had talked in depth about it, and though most of the other townsfolk had come to the conclusion that it had merely been some sort of exotic bird flying out toward the fern islands, Abby was positive she hadn’t been mistaken. In fact she was adamant that the form looked human. She hadn’t seen or heard any wings flapping and the “squawking” sounded more so like the laugh of an old woman than the cries of a bird. The figure seemed to levitate or hover effortlessly and without the use of any physical or mechanical assistance. It was slumped over as if it was curled up or sitting and just…. Floated away.
The long night spent coding and researching the relevant programing issues at the computer, had caused Sebastian to rise late. He was groggy, didn’t have much motivation to bother rolling out of bed, and it was almost noon at this point. He could hear the rain pattering against the roof of the house and the rumble of distant thunder. As lazy as he felt, a smoke sounded pretty good about now. The sound and sight of the ocean on rainy days also had a way of clearing his head and a little stroll would probably do him some good.
He didn’t pass anyone on the way out of the house. Robin was likely at her aerobics club, Maru, at work in the clinic, and who knew where Demetrius was… Out shoving dirt samples into test tubes, or measuring the volume and PH of the current rainfall? As long as he wasn’t dissecting frogs. Out of all of Sebastian’s childhood memories, that was the one that stuck in his head and haunted him. Back then, Maru had only just been born, and while Robin was busy keeping her entertained, fixing her bottle or changing diapers, Seb was wandering the house trying to find something to occupy his time. He’d wandered into his step-father’s study and there on the examination tray was a deceased frog pinned on it’s back, limbs splayed like Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” with it’s belly sliced open. Sebastian had cried and pouted over that for several days and had given Demetrius the silent treatment for even days longer intermixed with spells of arm crossing, head turning and the occasional stuck out tongue and blown raspberry. He cringed at the thought even now.
The hinges creaked as he pushed the front door open and paused. The summer was starting to give way to autumn and the parched ground soaked up the rain and turned loose the pungent, almost overpowering scent of petrichor.
Sebastian flipped the hood of his pull-over around his head and tightened up the drawstrings. He took a moment to smell the aroma of wet grass and earth that drifted through the air and held the fragrance in his lungs as he closed the door behind him.
He began his slow, steady march toward the beach and lost count of his steps after he’d passed the old Community Center. He’d barely noticed the changing of terrain under his feet as he moved almost subconsciously toward the ocean. The raw, muddy dirt paths of the mountain, the crunch of rough stones and shuffle of old, dead pine needles that carpeted the ground… They’d transitioned into the grass and cobblestone of the town plaza at some point, but they all seemed to blend together into “just steps” after a while. His inner thoughts distracted him to the point where he barely paid attention to his surroundings until he felt his footfalls sinking and shifting underneath him, and he knew he’d hit sand. He heaved a deep sigh of the salt air and looked over the horizon as he paced toward the docks.
When the sky was this gray and muted, the color of the sea seemed to take on it’s own jewel-like quality and without the blue sky to draw attention away from it, the eyes of each breaking wave became a splendor to watch. They erupted into columns of aquamarine, sapphire and sodalite laced with the bright, almost pearlescent white of the sea foam before curling over, crashing into the tides and giving way to the next one.
Sebastian came to a stop at the furthest reaching section of the wood panels and straightened up his posture as he groped into his pockets for the pack of cigarettes he’d brought with him. He selected one from the box, tucked it between his teeth and plunged his fingers back into the pocket for his lighter. He curled his left hand in front of his face, to protect the fire from the wind, flicked open the lid and thumbed the igniter. The flint sparked into a flame as it spun and lit up the end of the cigarette to a smoldering red glow. He pulled in a breath and held it for a moment before letting it out and watching the smoke dance away in the wind. It still wasn’t quite as satisfying as that first breath of rain when he’d stepped out of the house. Another sigh escaped Seb’s lips as he stared back at the oncoming crests of seawater and his mind started to drift again.
He imagined the city lights blazing somewhere across the ocean like stars, and thought about starting over somewhere far away. Disappearing, and reappearing somewhere else like a shadow moving through fragments of darkness and light, somewhere where no one knew him. Just vanishing and leaving everything behind. His parents, his sister, his friends… the thought excited him for a moment, before giving way to an intense feeling of regret and sadness. Maybe even a little shame. Having everyone was frustrating, but would having none of them be better or worse? He’d never known anything else. The same friends he’d grown up with, the same smell of the changing seasons in the mountain air, the same four walls of his bedroom, the sound of his sister’s laugh, or the taste of his mother’s cooking… even the way his stepfather overreacted to the littlest things was something he'd grown used to. He took another long breath.
The waves lapped and pounded at the underside of the dock so loudly he couldn’t hear the patter of oncoming footfalls against the wood and he was caught unaware when a sudden presence made itself known.
“Hey.” The start was enough to make him tense up, and he almost tripped over his own feet. Seb whirled around and when he found himself face to face with the farmer, he relaxed again.
“You scared the absolute crap out of me…..” He said as he rolled his eyes. He flicked his thumb against the filter of the cigarette to knock away the ashes and looked over the docks. They were alone.
“Sorry….” There was an awkward moment of silence between the two of them before Sebastian tried to force conversation.
“What are you up to out here?” He asked. He wasn’t really interested in the answer, but felt obligated to return the acknowledgement of his presence. The farmer held up the rod that was firmly clasped in their right hand and gestured to the ocean.
“Fishing!” Seb raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at the response.
“In the rain?” he asked. His tone was almost dismissive. The farmer nodded.
“Willy said that there’s a number of fish that only come out when it’s raining, so I wanted to see what bites.” They began. “Some fish just like it better this way I guess.” There was another long pause. “…and you?”
“Hanging out…” Seb shrugged and adjusted the collar of his hoodie.
“In the rain?” The irony of the retort wasn’t lost on either of them though only the farmer seemed to find it amusing.
“Some people just like it better this way too…” Seb declared as he shifted his posture and crossed his arms over his chest. “I like to come out here where it’s quiet and have some alone time with my own thoughts.” There was a brief moment of guilt when Sebastian realized that he hadn’t actually ever bothered to ask the farmer’s name, but his introverted nature snubbed it out pretty quickly.
“Well, if you’re out here for some alone time, I won’t keep bothering you. I’ll go find a spot to fish and leave you to it.” At least they could take a hint. The farmer turned to leave and Sebastian suddenly regretted the entire conversation. Maybe he came off as cold and bristly? Either way, they hadn’t meant any harm. Just engaging in basic pleasantries. He found himself compelled to say something else just so the conversation wouldn’t end on such a sour note, then the thought of the flying figure and the appearance of the strange egg in the farmer’s coop a while back suddenly popped into his head.
“Wait….” Sebastian flicked away the spent cigarette and stamped it out with the toe of his shoe before he continued. The farmer turned back in his direction. “I was just curious… do you remember what happened a couple of weeks ago? The night that… thing… flew over Pelican Town?” The farmer’s eyes narrowed and they nodded slowly. “That was the night that strange egg just showed up in your chicken coop, right?” The farmer looked bewildered. Seb chuckled soundlessly when he realized that, for at least a moment, he was acting like the epitome of some small town country boy who was nosing into someone else’s business. The farmer was likely confused because they hadn’t spoken to Sebastian about it directly. How could he know about that? They didn’t have to ask before he preemptively put the question to rest. “I was in the saloon playing pool with Sam the night after it happened. I overheard you talking about it with Gus, Willy and uh- …Rapunzel.” He explained. A tiny snort escaped the farmer’s nose as they stifled a laugh and they nodded again.
“Right… I still don’t know where it came from.” They rested the handle of the fishing pole on the dock like a staff or walking stick and looked up at the sky as if they were contemplating something. “I don’t know if the egg had anything to do with the flying figure, or if it was just a coincidence… they did both appear on the same night.”
“Everyone in town says that the flying thing was probably just some weird bird heading toward the islands…” Seb droned. He shoved his hands into his pockets to sooth the chill in his fingers. “If that IS where the egg came from, then maybe it was just a bird…” The farmer briskly shook their head before they answered.
“No, I don’t think so.” They rested a hand on their hip, fidgeted with the line strung through the fishing rod and seemed to gaze off into the distance towards the island in question. “That wouldn’t make sense considering what hatched.” Sebastian’s head snapped upright to meet their gaze. Now this was getting interesting.
“It actually hatched?!” He piped as his eyes widened inquisitively. “What was it?”
“A chicken…. And those can’t fly long distances.” The farmer chortled as they watched Sebastian’s face droop back to some semblance of apathy. He looked mildly disappointed.
“Aww…. Well that’s kind of anticlimactic.” He groaned.
“Yeah, sorry it’s not more exciting than that…” There was a sudden gust of wind and both of them had to brace against the pelting of raindrops that came with it. “It is a pretty peculiar looking chicken, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Really?... How so?” He gazed back at them expectantly and waited for them to go into detail.
“The feathers are jet black and the comb and wattles have a bit of an odd shape to them. The eyes are also bright red, like an animal with albinism and they’re almost reflective in the dark too… like a cat’s eyes.” They paused and rested their hand over the lower half of their face as if they were taking a moment to recall more of the specifics to memory. “And there’s just something about the way it clucks.” They added. “It doesn’t really cluck like a normal hen, but it sounds more like… an echo of a cluck, I suppose.”
“What?....” Sebastian laughed as his expression shifted again. The description of the noise sounded completely ridiculous. Not a cluck, but an echo of a cluck? They may as well have likened it to a phantom voice or the cry of a specter. Something that eluded the range of sounds that most humans would ever have the chance or perception to experience. The farmer lifted their eyes back to Sebastian’s as if they’d suddenly remembered something else.
“She started laying eggs a couple of days ago. They look just like the one that appeared in the coop that night…” They let the fishing pole drop from their hand to the wood planking of the dock and slipped their arm out of the left strap of their backpack. “I actually have one with me if you want to see it….” They slid the other strap off of their shoulder and swung the bag around their right side, letting it come to a rest in front of them as they knelt down. Seb took a few steps closer and stooped to get a better look as they dug through the contents.
They gingerly grasped what looked like a tiny bundle wrapped in a kerchief and began to slowly peel away the corners of the fabric, exposing what was probably the most bizarre looking egg he’d ever seen in his life. It was black and somewhat glossy, unlike the calcified matte shells of most chicken eggs, and the surface seemed to be covered in tiny indents or fissures that exposed flecks of a bright, almost luminescent red underneath. The farmer held the egg out to Sebastian as they stood up straight and nodded, silently offering to let him hold it for a closer look. He gently cupped the egg in his hands, tucked his arms in close to his body and cradled it in his palms like a cautious child trying to hold a hamster. It was heavier than he’d expected it to be, and surprisingly warm.
The color reminded him of magma or hot coals. Something like the intense heat glowing through crackling obsidian after a volcanic eruption or a dying fire. He leaned his head even closer to the egg as he examined the texture of the shell, and his nose wrinkled a bit when he caught the scent. It was sulphurous, and almost earthy smelling, but not overpoweringly so.
“It’s not rotten, is it?” he asked as he gently turned the egg over in his hands.
“See, that’s the strange thing about it. It can’t be…. That egg was just laid this morning.” They explained. “All of the eggs that hen lays have that… little whiff of something burning to them.” The rain was starting to slow up a bit. The farmer thought for a moment and giggled at the notion of what they said next. “I’m not inclined to say that they’re edible either… at least, not to people, and I wouldn’t be keen on being the first one to test that.” Sebastian winced at the thought…and smell, and stifled a laugh.
“Me neither…” He smiled softly when the red speckled pattern caught his attention again. “It does look really cool though!”
He really did have a nice smile. It was kind of a shame that he didn’t let people see it more often. His eyes brightened, and his face looked softer and more approachable, yet also, inquisitive and curious. It was a look of fascination and wonder. Like a kid who’d just discovered dinosaurs and outer space for the first time, or someone who’d just felt their first taste of freedom and didn’t quite know what to do with it. An imaginative or inspired sort of expression.
“Since you like it so much, why don’t you hang onto it?” the farmer beamed.
“Can I?” Sebastian’s eyes lit up again and he gazed back at the farmer with a delighted look on his face.
“Sure! Hens lay eggs every day or so. There’ll be more before long!” they chimed. Sebastian chuckled as he curled his fingers about the egg and sheltered it from the rain.
“Thank you!” He gazed at it for a few moments more as the farmer hefted the rucksack back onto their shoulders and pulled the fishing rod from it’s resting place on the dock. “Hey, this might sound kind of stupid….” He began as he gazed back and forth between the farmer and his new prize… “But, do you think it’ll hatch if I put it under my pillow?” he laughed awkwardly at his own question when he realized how foolish it must have sounded, but was pleasantly surprised when the farmer’s response was more optimistic than he had expected.
“Umm, I don’t know… Maybe! It’s worth a try anyway, and stranger things have happened.”
“Only one way to find out I guess!” Sebastian said smiling in anticipation.
“Good luck! You’ll have to let me know what happens!” They scanned out over the tides as if looking for something before turning back to Sebastian. “I should hurry and find a spot to fish before the rain stops again, but it was really nice talking to you!”
“Yeah, you too!” Seb agreed. “I’ll see you later!” He distracted himself for a moment, making sure the egg was tucked away safe and warm in his hoodie pocket, when he suddenly realized something. “Hey, wait!...” he quickly turned back to where the farmer had been standing just a minute before, but by the time he’d remembered what he’d needed to ask, they’d already trotted too far out of earshot to be able to hear him. “Aw, man… I forgot to catch their name again.” He lamented. “I’ll have to remember to ask them next time… Next time for sure.”

My family’s Christian and I don’t really go to powwows and I’m not that into my culture but I’m interested in learning. Is it appropriate to wear a tube top or a tank top with a ribbon skirt. I don’t wanna be disrespectful but I want to wear something that looks flattering on me. What else could I wear with a ribbon skirt??

Using a throwaway account but for anyone that cares here’s why I will never visit the place again
For starters, I am a Sikh (F) and have been visiting the Gurudwara (this one in particular) as a baby. My family and I would go every Saturday and I am very well-versed with the norms, rules and regulations.
I decided to visit today because in 5 days it’s my Nani’s death anniversary. I was extremely close to her and she is the one who taught me everything I know about Sikhism and the Guru’s and their teachings.
Like I said, I am well-versed with the rules and regulations. I know what to wear, how to dress, what should be done prior and after the visit. I know you’re supposed to dress decently, I know you have to cover your head, I know you put your shoes away and wash your hands and feet. I am aware.
I wore a dress with shorts under it by the way, purely because of course, I avoid malfunctions and the dress was actually a maxi dress, till my ankles. With sleeves and a very loose fighting dress, not body-con. Just a simple cotton dress because it is hot as a chimney in Delhi.
I have seen foreigners being told to change when they wear shorts — of course understandable because they don’t probably research well on the dress code (of course would be good if they did their research but it’s alright, I don’t blame them. I’m sure people are told the same thing when they visit temples in Bali or the Blue Mosque in Turkey).
Yet today I was stopped. Mind you, I was not wearing a shirt skirt, or dress. No figure hugging outfit. Not sleeveless. With my head covered appropriately. Just a long maxi dress till my ankles.
Yet I was stopped by the saval that too after I had already entered the Darbar Sahib, bowed down to pay my respects. I was stopped mid-way by two men telling me to get out because as per them I had not dressed appropriately.
I was shocked of course, I tried to explain to them that I was aware of the dress code as I had been coming here as a child and was curious to understand how I was indecently dressed. They had no explanation.
This encounter was happening in front of the sangat and the Head Granthi comes up to me and yells at me to get out.
Now you can imagine how i felt. I have been watching his videos on YouTube for years. I have seen him do Ardas for years.I have umpteen respect for this man and just like that, I was told to leave. What God decides who’s pious and pure? In that moment I realised that religion is dictateded by men and that as a woman you will always be inferior.
I take pride in being a Sikh woman but today for no valid explanation I was aggressively told to leave.
After I left, I couldn’t control my emotions. I was crying a lot. I agree I should’ve maintained my composure but the purpose of my visit was ruined.
Another man came to manexplain to me that I was indeed wrong, that as a Sikh woman I should dress more decently.
Once again, it’s a man’s world. No matter what God says, man dictates.
Just like that, I will never wear this dress again. Never visit Bangla Sahib.
EDIT: I can only share my experience as a woman. Many seem to have an issue here that I am using the “woman card”. Well I can only speak as a woman. I acknowledge I may not know that it also happens with men.
Also for those saying “it’s not a man’s world” y’all wanna see the nasty DM’s im getting? “Wanna talk?” “Wanna Vc?” Thanks for proving my point.
Also, stop hating on the religion. Or any for that matter. My intent wasn’t to instigate hate.
My comments are getting deleted, but Ive provided more context in several of them; including the fact that I did wear this same dress in another Gurudwara few days ago and had no issues. Once again, it’s not about the religion. It was merely about the experience there. I’ll take questions on DM since I can’t reply to any here but I really appreciate the kind comments a lot. Thank you for helping me feel better.