Cursive old english letters for myspace
Language Learning
2010.03.01 17:12 ohstrangeone Language Learning
A community for anybody interested in learning other languages. Whether you are just starting, a polyglot or a language nerd, this is the place for you!
2008.08.27 02:34 Alternate Reality Games
ARG is joining the Reddit Blackout. For more information read here: https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/ and here https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1476fkn/reddit_blackout_2023_save_3rd_party_apps/
2012.05.02 21:26 Jack-is Shorthand
The Shorthand Forum on Reddit is a home for pen and machine shorthand of all kinds.
2024.05.22 01:49 daisydoo0o0 Major trust issues again
I’m not sure how to get over my trust issues. The very first serious relationship I was in (for two years) fucked me up majorly - he was perfect for a year, and then rapidly changed. He became so controlling and physically abusive after the one year mark, which continued until I broke up with him. He assaulted me after the break up, and told me he never loved me, and I knew he meant it, which stuck with 18 year old me.
I spent so long working on myself, and working to get over this. I thought I was in a good place. I was ready to date again, and trust again (now aged 22).
Recently, a year long relationship of mine ended. It was serious to me - I thought it was serious to him but I was wrong. My ex told me in a letter (given to me after we broke up) he fell out of love with me four months before he broke up with me. I didn’t know. I feel like i’m back to square one now. I feel like I can’t believe anyone anymore if they tell me they even like me. I’m never going to receive the same sort of love I give.
submitted by daisydoo0o0 to BPDsupport [link] [comments]
I spent so long working on myself, and working to get over this. I thought I was in a good place. I was ready to date again, and trust again (now aged 22).
Recently, a year long relationship of mine ended. It was serious to me - I thought it was serious to him but I was wrong. My ex told me in a letter (given to me after we broke up) he fell out of love with me four months before he broke up with me. I didn’t know. I feel like i’m back to square one now. I feel like I can’t believe anyone anymore if they tell me they even like me. I’m never going to receive the same sort of love I give.
2024.05.22 01:46 RandomUserLikeU HELP ME FIND THIS PLS 😭
I'm really desperate by this point, cuz I think I just imagined it all. I have very foggy dreams at night about a series I supposedly watched when I was a kid. It was from Netflix (not sure if it was an original).
There are only few things I can remember. For example, it was an animated series about the WW2 (or WW1?? I can't remember which one), and there were those kids who were living at a small city. Some soldiers would pass by the streets and bother some people, the kid's parents would ask them to stay away from the soldiers. There was also a old man that lived with them, he would stay all day listening to the radio. I think all the were blonde (dk how this could help but I just remember that).
There is a specific part I remember abou them crossing a bridge (there were also a lot of families crossing the bridge too), they were escaping from their city, but I can't remember why. There was also that kid I remember called "Pierre", but I can't remember the other kids' names.
I used to watch this series with my dad as I remember, but he swears he doesn't know anything about this. I'm starting to think it never existed :(.
ps: I also remember a scene about the kids finding an English broken planet in the woods and an English soldier (can't remember if he was dead or alive), but it may be possible I'm mistaking it with another movie I saw that had this same type of scene.
submitted by RandomUserLikeU to HelpMeFindThis [link] [comments]
There are only few things I can remember. For example, it was an animated series about the WW2 (or WW1?? I can't remember which one), and there were those kids who were living at a small city. Some soldiers would pass by the streets and bother some people, the kid's parents would ask them to stay away from the soldiers. There was also a old man that lived with them, he would stay all day listening to the radio. I think all the were blonde (dk how this could help but I just remember that).
There is a specific part I remember abou them crossing a bridge (there were also a lot of families crossing the bridge too), they were escaping from their city, but I can't remember why. There was also that kid I remember called "Pierre", but I can't remember the other kids' names.
I used to watch this series with my dad as I remember, but he swears he doesn't know anything about this. I'm starting to think it never existed :(.
ps: I also remember a scene about the kids finding an English broken planet in the woods and an English soldier (can't remember if he was dead or alive), but it may be possible I'm mistaking it with another movie I saw that had this same type of scene.
2024.05.22 01:44 kaspahh The reason WHY Australian Teachers find it extremely difficult!
Hi guys!
I'd be pretty interested in what you guys think about reworking what education actually is. Something like education has been around for EONS. So I was a Teach for Australia person, who stopped studying and working in the teaching field about a year ago.
SO I find that teaching in classes of 24 is a bit unreasonable, so perhaps class size changes could be changed to 8 - 10 students (essentially, different primary school levels) but this is how you can build a relationship WITH each of your students and understand what is happening with them and how they can improve to be the best they can be! Yes sure, there are some teachers who can support 24 kids, but in order to get the best out of every single student, your relationship and your ability needs to fathom. This might happen from about year 8 - 9 onwards.
They really should remove ATAR and exam scores all together. I just cannot believe how some 16-18 year old's can put there lives on hold for an ATAR score - which ultimately doesn't mean anything. It's just a score which you have based on the subjects you were doing. From here, perhaps you could combine, VCAL and VCE and make, an apprenticeship-based-course of VCAL and VCE for people such that they can have an informed opinion about what they want to do with the rest of their lives instead of just working to this arbitrary ATAR score.
Perhaps, each year (in year 11 and 12) you get 2-4 mini-apprenticeship programs with different companies for about 2 weeks each, then you come back and complete your coursework e.g. Methods, Spesh, English or VCAL. It might be something set up by the school, or it might be something set up by the business in question.
So yes it sounds very expensive as an idea, (3 teachers instead of 1, removal of ATAexams (not convenient for the markers), different mini-apprenticeship programs in year 11 and 12) but what if this was the case?
Do you think you'd be better off now?
submitted by kaspahh to AustralianTeachers [link] [comments]
I'd be pretty interested in what you guys think about reworking what education actually is. Something like education has been around for EONS. So I was a Teach for Australia person, who stopped studying and working in the teaching field about a year ago.
SO I find that teaching in classes of 24 is a bit unreasonable, so perhaps class size changes could be changed to 8 - 10 students (essentially, different primary school levels) but this is how you can build a relationship WITH each of your students and understand what is happening with them and how they can improve to be the best they can be! Yes sure, there are some teachers who can support 24 kids, but in order to get the best out of every single student, your relationship and your ability needs to fathom. This might happen from about year 8 - 9 onwards.
They really should remove ATAR and exam scores all together. I just cannot believe how some 16-18 year old's can put there lives on hold for an ATAR score - which ultimately doesn't mean anything. It's just a score which you have based on the subjects you were doing. From here, perhaps you could combine, VCAL and VCE and make, an apprenticeship-based-course of VCAL and VCE for people such that they can have an informed opinion about what they want to do with the rest of their lives instead of just working to this arbitrary ATAR score.
Perhaps, each year (in year 11 and 12) you get 2-4 mini-apprenticeship programs with different companies for about 2 weeks each, then you come back and complete your coursework e.g. Methods, Spesh, English or VCAL. It might be something set up by the school, or it might be something set up by the business in question.
So yes it sounds very expensive as an idea, (3 teachers instead of 1, removal of ATAexams (not convenient for the markers), different mini-apprenticeship programs in year 11 and 12) but what if this was the case?
Do you think you'd be better off now?
2024.05.22 01:43 RevMultiVirus Vector Spam
 | Saw this when picking up the mail. It’s in Spanish(feel free to translate) but to give you a summary: They want me to join Vector for $16 an hour no experience no anything. I have had experiences in the past with them( Old high school classmates trying to get me into it). The QR code is personalized so when I scanned it and says my name and the area where I live. The letter mentions Vector in the THIRD paragraph not even in the beginning. Scummy Scummy. submitted by RevMultiVirus to antiMLM [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 01:42 effdyke Increasing CBD amount of oil... until when?
Hi, I'm new here. I'm also a recently diagnosed autistic woman. I'm from Brazil, pardon my English.
I've been taking some drops of CBD for a few months now because it helps with my "anger issues" and managing (reducing) my yelling... Anyways.
The doctor told me to start with 4 drops. And we've been increasing 2 drops since then.
I'm currently at 10 drops and I would like to know... if anybody else here takes it... how many drops are you taking? I mean... Am I close to reaching some sort of edge? If it makes any difference I'm 35 years old and my weight is 60 kg (132,277 lbs).
I've been thinking about that because of the price, first (in Brazil I import the one from EVONA "Feel", 3000mg, 100mg/ml; 30ml).
And also because I feel like the dosage works for like a month until I must increase it again, and I want to know if it will stabilize at some point.
Thank you!
submitted by effdyke to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
I've been taking some drops of CBD for a few months now because it helps with my "anger issues" and managing (reducing) my yelling... Anyways.
The doctor told me to start with 4 drops. And we've been increasing 2 drops since then.
I'm currently at 10 drops and I would like to know... if anybody else here takes it... how many drops are you taking? I mean... Am I close to reaching some sort of edge? If it makes any difference I'm 35 years old and my weight is 60 kg (132,277 lbs).
I've been thinking about that because of the price, first (in Brazil I import the one from EVONA "Feel", 3000mg, 100mg/ml; 30ml).
And also because I feel like the dosage works for like a month until I must increase it again, and I want to know if it will stabilize at some point.
Thank you!
2024.05.22 01:41 Sweet-Count2557 Best Brunch in Virginia Beach Va
 | Best Brunch in Virginia Beach Va Are you ready to embark on a brunch adventure in Virginia Beach, VA? Well, look no further! We've got the inside scoop on the best brunch spots that will leave your taste buds begging for more.From locally sourced delights at Bay Local Eatery to nautical-themed brunch delights at Anchor Allies, our city has it all.So grab your friends and get ready to indulge in a mouthwatering brunch experience that will satisfy even the pickiest of eaters. Let's dive in and discover the best brunch in Virginia Beach, VA!Key TakeawaysBay Local Eatery is highly rated for its locally sourced dishes, taste & variety, service, atmosphere, and affordability.Citrus, founded in 2003, offers traditional brunch offerings and has a good rating for taste & variety, service, and atmosphere.TopGolf is a popular destination for golf players and is known for its great taste & variety, service, and affordability.Anchor Allies is a unique brunch spot with a nautical theme and offers all-day brunch menu, specialty dishes, and a separate lunch menu.Bay Local Eatery: Locally Sourced DelightsWe recently tried Bay Local Eatery and were delighted by their locally sourced dishes. The restaurant focuses on using fresh ingredients that are sourced from local farmers and suppliers, which adds a unique and flavorful touch to their menu.One dish that stood out to us was the Citrus: A Taste of Tradition, which showcased the restaurant's commitment to incorporating local flavors. This dish featured a combination of citrus-infused ingredients, including tangy oranges and zesty lemons, which added a refreshing and vibrant twist to the meal. The flavors were well-balanced, and each bite was a burst of citrusy goodness. The presentation was also appealing, with colorful slices of fruit garnishing the plate.The staff at Bay Local Eatery were friendly and knowledgeable, providing excellent service throughout our dining experience. The atmosphere was cozy yet modern, creating a comfortable and inviting space to enjoy our meal.Overall, Bay Local Eatery offers a delightful dining experience with their locally sourced delights, such as the Citrus: A Taste of Tradition, making it a must-visit for those seeking a taste of tradition with a local twist.Citrus: Traditional Brunch FavoritesThe Citrus offers a variety of traditional brunch favorites, including mouthwatering dishes like eggs Benedict and fluffy pancakes. When you step into Citrus, you can expect beachside brunch vibes that will transport you to a relaxed and sunny coastal getaway.Here's what you can look forward to at Citrus:Delicious Eggs Benedict: Indulge in perfectly poached eggs, creamy hollandaise sauce, and your choice of savory toppings like ham or smoked salmon.Fluffy Pancakes: Start your day with a stack of light and fluffy pancakes, served with maple syrup and your choice of delicious add-ons like fresh berries or chocolate chips.Savory Omelettes: Customize your omelette with a variety of fillings, from classic options like cheese and vegetables to more adventurous choices like chorizo or avocado.Freshly Squeezed Juices: Pair your brunch favorites with a refreshing glass of freshly squeezed orange juice or choose from a selection of other fruit juices.With its traditional brunch offerings and beachside brunch vibes, Citrus is the perfect spot to relax and enjoy a delicious meal with family and friends. So, come on over to Citrus and experience the best of brunch in a laid-back and inviting atmosphere.TopGolf: Brunch and Golf ParadiseLet's head over to TopGolf for a fantastic brunch and enjoy a round of golf at the same time. TopGolf offers a unique golf-themed brunch experience that is sure to delight both golf enthusiasts and food lovers alike.Picture this: sitting on a sunny terrace overlooking the greens, sipping on a refreshing mimosa, and indulging in a delicious spread of brunch specials. TopGolf has got you covered with their mouthwatering menu that includes both classic brunch favorites and innovative twists on traditional dishes.Here's a glimpse of what you can expect at TopGolf's brunch:Brunch SpecialsDescriptionBreakfast TacosScrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and melted cheese wrapped in warm tortillas.Chicken and WafflesCrispy fried chicken served atop fluffy waffles, drizzled with maple syrup.Avocado ToastToasted artisan bread topped with creamy avocado, cherry tomatoes, and a sprinkle of sea salt.Eggs BenedictPoached eggs, Canadian bacon, and hollandaise sauce on a toasted English muffin.Fresh Fruit ParfaitLayers of Greek yogurt, granola, and a medley of fresh fruits, topped with a drizzle of honey.Bottomless MimosasEnjoy endless refills of this classic brunch cocktail made with sparkling wine and orange juice.With its vibrant atmosphere, friendly staff, and top-notch service, TopGolf is the perfect place to gather with friends or family for a memorable brunch experience. So why not tee off your day with a round of golf and a delicious meal at TopGolf?Anchor Allies: Nautical Brunch DelightsAnchor Allies: Nautical Brunch Delights is a charming eatery that offers a unique nautical-themed menu with specialty dishes that are sure to delight.With its cozy maritime atmosphere, this veteran-owned and operated establishment provides a one-of-a-kind brunch experience.From the moment you step inside, you'll be transported to a world of nautical bliss, where you can enjoy delicious food and soak in the charming surroundings.Nautical-Themed Menu OptionsWe really enjoyed exploring the nautical-themed menu options at Anchor Allies - they offer unique and delicious brunch dishes that perfectly capture the essence of the sea. The atmosphere was cozy and inviting, with maritime decor and ocean-inspired artwork adorning the walls.The brunch menu featured a variety of specialty dishes, including the Captain's Benedict with seared scallops and hollandaise sauce, and the Sailor's Pancake Stack with blueberry compote and whipped cream. The nautical theme even extended to the cocktail options, with creative drinks like the Sea Breeze Spritz, made with vodka, cranberry juice, and a splash of grapefruit.And to top it all off, the restaurant boasted a stunning ocean view, making it the perfect spot for brunch with a seaside backdrop.Unique Brunch OfferingsWe were delighted to discover not just one, but several unique brunch offerings at Anchor Allies.One of the standout dishes is the delectable lobster Benedict. This dish features perfectly poached eggs atop a toasted English muffin, topped with succulent lobster meat and a rich hollandaise sauce. It's a combination that is sure to please seafood lovers.Another mouthwatering option is the shrimp and grits dish. This dish puts a delightful twist on a Southern classic. It features plump shrimp served over creamy, cheesy grits and garnished with crispy bacon. The combination of flavors and textures is simply irresistible.In addition to these unconventional brunch dishes, Anchor Allies also offers a selection of unique brunch cocktails. From the refreshing Blueberry Basil Mimosa to the spicy Bloody Mary with a twist of Old Bay seasoning, there's a cocktail to suit every taste.Whether you're looking for a delicious twist on traditional brunch favorites or a creative cocktail to accompany your meal, Anchor Allies is sure to satisfy.Cozy Maritime AtmosphereAs we stepped into Anchor Allies, we were instantly transported to a cozy maritime atmosphere that made us feel like we were dining on a quaint seaside ship. The restaurant's cozy maritime decor and charming nautical theme created a warm and inviting ambiance. The walls were adorned with vintage anchors and ship wheels, while the wooden tables and chairs gave a rustic feel. The soft lighting and soothing ocean sounds added to the overall tranquil atmosphere.With the restaurant's waterfront location, we enjoyed a stunning view of the water as we indulged in our meal. It truly was a delightful waterfront dining experience that immersed us in a world of maritime charm.Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar: Vibe District Brunch BlissJava Surf Café and Espresso Bar, located in the vibrant Vibe Creative District, offers beachside brunch vibes and a delightful selection of freshly made sandwiches paired with high-quality coffee and espresso.This cute brunch spot not only satisfies your taste buds but also provides picture-worthy sights that will surely make your brunch experience Instagram-worthy.Beachside Brunch VibesThe beachside brunch vibes at Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar in the Vibe Creative District are perfect for a relaxing weekend morning. Here's what makes it special:Freshly made sandwiches: Java Surf Café offers a variety of delicious sandwiches made with high-quality ingredients. From classic options like turkey and avocado to unique combinations like bacon and brie, there's something for everyone.High-quality coffee and espresso: Start your day off right with a cup of Java Surf Café's expertly brewed coffee or a flavorful espresso. Their beans are sourced from local roasters, ensuring a rich and satisfying taste.Cute brunch spot: The café's charming and cozy atmosphere adds to the overall experience. With its beach-inspired decor and comfortable seating, it's the perfect place to unwind and enjoy a leisurely brunch.Picture-worthy sights: Located in the Vibe Creative District, Java Surf Café offers beautiful views of the surrounding area. Whether you're enjoying your meal inside or sitting outside on the patio, you'll have plenty of opportunities to capture memorable moments.Overall, Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar is a top choice for beachside brunch locations, offering not only delicious coastal inspired brunch dishes, but also a relaxed and inviting atmosphere.Fresh Coffee and EatsWhen we visited Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar, we were immediately drawn to the enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the tempting selection of delectable eats. The café, located in the Vibe Creative District, offers high-quality coffee and espresso, as well as freshly made sandwiches. It is a cute brunch spot with picture-worthy sights. If you are looking for a place to satisfy your cravings for fresh coffee and local eats, Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar is a great choice. Here is a table that highlights some of the other brunch spots in Virginia Beach:Brunch SpotHighlightsBay Local EateryLocally sourced dishesCitrusTraditional brunch offeringsTopGolfUltimate haven for golf playersAnchor AlliesVeteran-owned and operated with a unique nautical themeDoc TaylorsKnown for traditional Southern breakfast mealsWhether you're in the mood for locally sourced dishes, traditional brunch offerings, golf-themed ambiance, a nautical experience, or Southern breakfast meals, Virginia Beach has a variety of options to satisfy your brunch cravings.Instagram-Worthy Brunch SpotOur favorite Instagram-worthy brunch spot is Citrus, known for its traditional brunch offerings and 5/5 rating for atmosphere. When you step into Citrus, you'll be greeted by a bright and airy space, perfect for capturing those brunch photos.Here are some tips for capturing the perfect brunch photo:Lighting: Sit near a window or outdoor seating area to take advantage of natural light.Composition: Arrange your plate and drink in an aesthetically pleasing way, using the rule of thirds.Props: Add some colorful flowers or stylish cutlery to enhance the visual appeal of your photo.Filters: Experiment with different filters or editing apps to enhance the colors and mood of your photo.Citrus is just one of the many trendy brunch spots in town, where you can enjoy delicious food and create beautiful memories to share on Instagram.Doc Taylors: Southern Breakfast ClassicsWe absolutely love the classic Southern breakfast options at Doc Taylors. The restaurant offers a cozy atmosphere and friendly staff, making it the perfect spot for a satisfying morning meal.Doc Taylors is known for its traditional Southern breakfast classics, which include dishes like biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits, and chicken and waffles. The menu also features nautical-themed options, adding a unique touch to the dining experience.Guests can enjoy dishes like the 'Shipwreck Platter,' which includes fried shrimp, scallops, and oysters, or the 'Captain's Catch,' a seafood omelette filled with fresh ingredients. The prices at Doc Taylors are affordable, making it accessible for everyone to enjoy these delicious breakfast options.Whether you're in the mood for a hearty Southern meal or want to try something with a nautical twist, Doc Taylors has something for everyone. So grab a seat, indulge in some classic Southern breakfast fare, and start your day off right at Doc Taylors.The Bee and the Biscuit: Farm-to-Table Brunch ExperienceLet's try the farm-to-table brunch experience at The Bee and the Biscuit for a taste of fresh ingredients and homemade jams and spreads. This charming eatery offers a unique dining experience with a focus on locally sourced ingredients and a commitment to sustainable farming practices.Here's what you can expect at The Bee and the Biscuit:Fresh Ingredients: The Bee and the Biscuit takes pride in using the freshest ingredients available. From farm-fresh eggs to locally sourced produce, every dish is prepared with care and attention to detail.Homemade Jams and Spreads: Indulge in the delectable flavors of homemade jams and spreads. From tangy fruit preserves to creamy butter, these accompaniments add a burst of flavor to your brunch experience.Outdoor Seating: Enjoy your meal in the great outdoors with The Bee and the Biscuit's outdoor seating option. Bask in the warm sunshine as you savor your farm-to-table delights.Rustic and Cozy Atmosphere: The Bee and the Biscuit exudes a rustic and cozy atmosphere, creating the perfect ambiance for a leisurely brunch. Whether you're dining with friends or enjoying a solo meal, you'll feel right at home in this charming establishment.Experience the best of farm-to-table dining and embrace the freshness and flavors that The Bee and the Biscuit has to offer. Don't miss out on this culinary gem that combines quality ingredients with homemade goodness.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are the Prices Like at Bay Local Eatery?At Bay Local Eatery, the prices are reasonable and offer good value for the quality of food and service. They've a diverse menu with options for all dietary preferences, including gluten-free options. The prices are affordable and the portion sizes are generous.Bay Local Eatery is known for using locally sourced ingredients, ensuring freshness and supporting local businesses. Overall, it's a great place to enjoy a delicious brunch without breaking the bank.Does Citrus Offer Any Gluten-Free Options for Brunch?Yes, Citrus does offer gluten-free options for brunch. They've a variety of traditional brunch offerings and prioritize using fresh, locally sourced ingredients. With a 4/5 rating for taste and variety, Citrus provides a casual and relaxed atmosphere with friendly staff and affordable prices.On the other hand, Bay Local Eatery is known for its locally sourced dishes and has received a 5/5 rating for taste, variety, service, atmosphere, and affordability.Are There Any Vegetarian or Vegan Options Available at Topgolf's Brunch?There are vegetarian and vegan options available at TopGolf's brunch. They offer a variety of plant-based dishes that cater to the needs of plant-based eaters.With their focus on taste, variety, and service, TopGolf is one of the best brunch spots in Virginia Beach for those looking for delicious options that align with their dietary preferences.Whether you're vegetarian or vegan, TopGolf has you covered with their flavorful and satisfying brunch options.What Are Some of the Specialty Dishes Offered at Anchor Allies?At Anchor Allies, we offer a variety of specialty dishes that are sure to satisfy any brunch lover. From our unique nautical theme to our all-day brunch menu, we strive to provide a memorable dining experience.Some of our standout dishes include our delicious crab cake Benedict, savory shrimp and grits, and mouthwatering lobster omelette.With a cozy atmosphere, friendly staff, and delectable menu options, Anchor Allies is truly one of the best brunch spots in Virginia Beach.Does Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar Have Outdoor Seating Available for Brunch?Yes, Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar does have outdoor seating available for brunch.Along with their high-quality coffee and espresso, they offer freshly made sandwiches and a cute brunch spot with picture-worthy sights.The outdoor seating adds to the ambiance and provides a lovely setting to enjoy your meal.With their menu options and the option to dine outside, Java Surf Café and Espresso Bar is a great choice for brunch in Virginia Beach.ConclusionIn conclusion, Virginia Beach offers a plethora of options for brunch enthusiasts. From the locally sourced delights at Bay Local Eatery to the nautical-themed experience at Anchor Allies, there's something for everyone's taste.Whether you're in the mood for traditional brunch favorites at Citrus or a unique farm-to-table experience at The Bee and the Biscuit, this coastal city has it all.So gather your loved ones and embark on a brunch adventure that will leave your taste buds satisfied and your heart full. submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 01:39 norm_test_user Software engineer experienced at startups; considering my options
Almost 32-year-old U.S. citizen with 9 years of software engineering experience at SaaS startups, fed up and worried like many others and dream of leaving the states.
I _think_ the answer for me will still be "stick around blue U.S. cities and cross your fingers," but I'd be curious to be proven wrong.
I actually did some Canadian Express Entry paperwork last year (IELTS English proficiency exam, completed Educational Credential Assessment through WES that says 'my computer science bachelor's degree from USA is worthwhile elsewhere in the world', etc), but I gave up on all that because it seemed like the only paths to get an invite would be Canadian job offer (not interested in leaving my current U.S. company unless absolutely necessary) or really getting my French down well enough for another language proficiency exam.
Anyhow, right now, my situation is as follows:
submitted by norm_test_user to AmerExit [link] [comments]
I _think_ the answer for me will still be "stick around blue U.S. cities and cross your fingers," but I'd be curious to be proven wrong.
I actually did some Canadian Express Entry paperwork last year (IELTS English proficiency exam, completed Educational Credential Assessment through WES that says 'my computer science bachelor's degree from USA is worthwhile elsewhere in the world', etc), but I gave up on all that because it seemed like the only paths to get an invite would be Canadian job offer (not interested in leaving my current U.S. company unless absolutely necessary) or really getting my French down well enough for another language proficiency exam.
Anyhow, right now, my situation is as follows:
- Like I said, experienced software engineer
- Do not qualify for any countries' citizenships by descent and am only proficient in English so far
- Ideally would really really like to keep working remotely for a U.S. company, but I realize that may be unrealistic. The first company I worked at for 5 years had an EU cohort, but my next ones don't even allow data access outside the states, e.g.
- Trans and on non-negotiable hormone care for 3 years, all legal documents have been name and sex changed for almost that long as well (this is where I figure 'stay in blue U.S. cities' is probably still the best, right? Unless I dedicate myself to traveling back and forth for the 3-month testosterone implant I get quarterly...)
- Have very good chunk of money in the bank
- Stay put and be grateful that trans adults are probably safe for the foreseeable future?
- Apply for some European masters' degree? (have enough money for the ones I looked into in, e.g., Helsinki, but... my damn HRT access)
- Apply for Canadian tech jobs and really dedicate myself to Express Entry?
- Apply for...idk, Irish tech jobs?
- Sometime else creative? (I am really drawn to the Nordic countries but understand that these may make my medical care harder to access for many years, so that may not work)
2024.05.22 01:27 Ready_Car1911 Should I overcome my fear of dating apps?
I feel like an idiot for posting this on Reddit but I don't really feel comfortable venting about this with friends, so here we are!
(21F) It's been two years since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. It was a really healthy relationship and we remain really close friends, it just didn't make sense to me to keep up with it anymore.
Well, I'm a 21 year old girl, and since that breakup my social life hasn't been all that interesting really. I'm a 4th year law student and college ended up being not all that exciting, and even tough I've got to meet my amazing group of friends, I didn't really relate to anyone else. Therefore, this time when you're supposed to meet lots of people and broaden your horizons ended up stagnating a bit for me.
I consider myself an easy going person, I've never in my life find it hard to make friends or getting to know people. It's just that I haven't got many chances to. I spend most my time with my friends I already know or end up meeting people at parties who I don't talk to ever again, and being still in college doesn't give me much time for new activities. Romantic-wise, I've never been the type that cares too much (or even at all) to be in a relationship, and I never really liked the idea of having to chase anything. I thrive on my own most of the time, and whatever happens, happens. But like anyone else, I sometimes miss the occasional flirt and whatever comes with it haha. Intimacy in geral, or just having fun. More than the horny!!!! aspect of it, I really do miss getting to make friends and talk to somebody new.
Well, as I've stated before, I think I'm really easy to talk to, overall funny and outgoing. Charming in a good day, perhaps haha. About my looks, well I wouldn't say I'm stunning but I'm not very insecure, or at least I don't let it get to my head very often. Maybe not the type you'd give a second look or flirt on the subway - unless I'm reading some cool book or something haha - but maybe buy me a drink in the night if we're having a good time lol. I'm usually very friendly with anyone I meet so I don't even know how people make the jump to flirtation these days...
Back to the dating apps: as we've seen here, I'm stagnant. Not even my social media does wonders for me anymore since I've had the stupid idea of soft blocking almost everyone when I've gotten out of high school (so real to be fair), so most of my followers are people I actually know or work with today. There's always a random guy out of nowhere but you know, no one interesting enough !!
That being said, should I overcome my fear of dating apps? I'm NOT gonna lie to you, to this very day I've always been a bit prejudiced about it. Not judgemental of people who use them at all, I just never thought I'd be into it because I don't think that's the coolest way to say I've met a significant other haha. I mean, my future boyfriend can be using a dating app right now, but he surely won't find me in one. At least that's how I like to put it.
Still, I'm reluctant. My brain tells me not to do it, but at the same time my heart is telling me to do so for the plot. I really hate the idea of having to create a profile that appeals to anyone, plus the dynamic of maybe not finding matches???? I don't have many self esteem issues but idk how that would affect me in the long run. Plus, maybe this might sound wrong, but given the fact that I study law people on my field of study expect some odd seriousness of their employees, and as common as they are there's still many preconceptions about dating apps within these firms. I mean, I already hold the weight of my digital footprint being goofy on twitter haha
WELL I don't know what to expect of this! But it's my first post on Reddit so there's that! I ended up writing a lot more than I intended so feel free to engage and talk to me. Or even to call me an idiot. It's late in the night in here and I feel like oversharing SO there's that freedom of opinating about strangers lives on the internet lol
Anyway thanks in advance, and I apologize for any mistake since english ain't my first language!
submitted by Ready_Car1911 to dating [link] [comments]
(21F) It's been two years since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. It was a really healthy relationship and we remain really close friends, it just didn't make sense to me to keep up with it anymore.
Well, I'm a 21 year old girl, and since that breakup my social life hasn't been all that interesting really. I'm a 4th year law student and college ended up being not all that exciting, and even tough I've got to meet my amazing group of friends, I didn't really relate to anyone else. Therefore, this time when you're supposed to meet lots of people and broaden your horizons ended up stagnating a bit for me.
I consider myself an easy going person, I've never in my life find it hard to make friends or getting to know people. It's just that I haven't got many chances to. I spend most my time with my friends I already know or end up meeting people at parties who I don't talk to ever again, and being still in college doesn't give me much time for new activities. Romantic-wise, I've never been the type that cares too much (or even at all) to be in a relationship, and I never really liked the idea of having to chase anything. I thrive on my own most of the time, and whatever happens, happens. But like anyone else, I sometimes miss the occasional flirt and whatever comes with it haha. Intimacy in geral, or just having fun. More than the horny!!!! aspect of it, I really do miss getting to make friends and talk to somebody new.
Well, as I've stated before, I think I'm really easy to talk to, overall funny and outgoing. Charming in a good day, perhaps haha. About my looks, well I wouldn't say I'm stunning but I'm not very insecure, or at least I don't let it get to my head very often. Maybe not the type you'd give a second look or flirt on the subway - unless I'm reading some cool book or something haha - but maybe buy me a drink in the night if we're having a good time lol. I'm usually very friendly with anyone I meet so I don't even know how people make the jump to flirtation these days...
Back to the dating apps: as we've seen here, I'm stagnant. Not even my social media does wonders for me anymore since I've had the stupid idea of soft blocking almost everyone when I've gotten out of high school (so real to be fair), so most of my followers are people I actually know or work with today. There's always a random guy out of nowhere but you know, no one interesting enough !!
That being said, should I overcome my fear of dating apps? I'm NOT gonna lie to you, to this very day I've always been a bit prejudiced about it. Not judgemental of people who use them at all, I just never thought I'd be into it because I don't think that's the coolest way to say I've met a significant other haha. I mean, my future boyfriend can be using a dating app right now, but he surely won't find me in one. At least that's how I like to put it.
Still, I'm reluctant. My brain tells me not to do it, but at the same time my heart is telling me to do so for the plot. I really hate the idea of having to create a profile that appeals to anyone, plus the dynamic of maybe not finding matches???? I don't have many self esteem issues but idk how that would affect me in the long run. Plus, maybe this might sound wrong, but given the fact that I study law people on my field of study expect some odd seriousness of their employees, and as common as they are there's still many preconceptions about dating apps within these firms. I mean, I already hold the weight of my digital footprint being goofy on twitter haha
WELL I don't know what to expect of this! But it's my first post on Reddit so there's that! I ended up writing a lot more than I intended so feel free to engage and talk to me. Or even to call me an idiot. It's late in the night in here and I feel like oversharing SO there's that freedom of opinating about strangers lives on the internet lol
Anyway thanks in advance, and I apologize for any mistake since english ain't my first language!
2024.05.22 01:26 Square_Substance_522 ECSI turned my paid loan debt into a zombie loan.
I need HELP! So, I fell for ECSI debt collector trap by replying to one of their bills of $0.
When I contacted them in Sept 2023. They asked for proof of payment in full I made 7 years ago and I sent it, only for them to take my information, and claim I didn't pay in full. The took the amount I paid and subtract it from what the lawyer billed me in 2016 to prove that I didn't pay the principal? Which makes no sense because why would I pay almost double the amount in debt all at once only to leave out $200?! I don't have the letter for the payment in full since it was sent to my work email, and I was laid off so no access.
With this, they created a new amount for the debt with the $200+ and added fees and interest on top, restart my loan and claimed it to the Dept of Education. I never got any bills until ECSI decided to trick me with this scummy move. Basically they took Biden's covid deferment law and started sending out bills in hopes that someone answers them in order to zombify their loans, same situation with the zombie mortgages! I put in a complaint to the DoEd only to get my complaint dismissed without explanation which was weird.
They reported me to the credit bureau and claim they have been billing me since Feb. 2023 the so called "$300+ amount" even though I have paper proof I was billed $0 current and past amount in Sept 2023 with the bill stating " THANK YOU FOR KEEPING YOUR LOAN CURRENT. Credit Bureau rating as of the above due date: Current and in Good Standing."
I have asked for paperwork of this 26-year-old loan via mail and phone calls. They claimed they mailed it, I never got anything. I tried a pro bono lawyer, who first wanted to help but now said he got no time since he picked up so many other bigger cases. The lawyer suggested the SAVE program, but I have to wait another 20 years for it be dismissed? I also don't like the fact I have to agreed to take ownership of the new loan amount when I already paid more than enough to be considered paid off and extra all at once.
It's clear ECSI just made everything up. Now they constantly bill me every month since Dec. 2023. I tried everything I can think of, from complaints, to emails to the school the loan originated. By the way its no longer there, but merged into some other school. I emailed the old debt lawyer, too, and they all ignored me. Well, I tried everything other than starting lawsuits which I am highly tempted to do.
I swear they are just hoping this amount of $370+ is small enough that I would pay them off to get them off my back. It's still increasing by $1 every month btw. But I rather fight it if I can since I paid it off in full and should not be coerced to pay more for these scammers.
What do you all think?
submitted by Square_Substance_522 to StudentLoans [link] [comments]
When I contacted them in Sept 2023. They asked for proof of payment in full I made 7 years ago and I sent it, only for them to take my information, and claim I didn't pay in full. The took the amount I paid and subtract it from what the lawyer billed me in 2016 to prove that I didn't pay the principal? Which makes no sense because why would I pay almost double the amount in debt all at once only to leave out $200?! I don't have the letter for the payment in full since it was sent to my work email, and I was laid off so no access.
With this, they created a new amount for the debt with the $200+ and added fees and interest on top, restart my loan and claimed it to the Dept of Education. I never got any bills until ECSI decided to trick me with this scummy move. Basically they took Biden's covid deferment law and started sending out bills in hopes that someone answers them in order to zombify their loans, same situation with the zombie mortgages! I put in a complaint to the DoEd only to get my complaint dismissed without explanation which was weird.
They reported me to the credit bureau and claim they have been billing me since Feb. 2023 the so called "$300+ amount" even though I have paper proof I was billed $0 current and past amount in Sept 2023 with the bill stating " THANK YOU FOR KEEPING YOUR LOAN CURRENT. Credit Bureau rating as of the above due date: Current and in Good Standing."
I have asked for paperwork of this 26-year-old loan via mail and phone calls. They claimed they mailed it, I never got anything. I tried a pro bono lawyer, who first wanted to help but now said he got no time since he picked up so many other bigger cases. The lawyer suggested the SAVE program, but I have to wait another 20 years for it be dismissed? I also don't like the fact I have to agreed to take ownership of the new loan amount when I already paid more than enough to be considered paid off and extra all at once.
It's clear ECSI just made everything up. Now they constantly bill me every month since Dec. 2023. I tried everything I can think of, from complaints, to emails to the school the loan originated. By the way its no longer there, but merged into some other school. I emailed the old debt lawyer, too, and they all ignored me. Well, I tried everything other than starting lawsuits which I am highly tempted to do.
I swear they are just hoping this amount of $370+ is small enough that I would pay them off to get them off my back. It's still increasing by $1 every month btw. But I rather fight it if I can since I paid it off in full and should not be coerced to pay more for these scammers.
What do you all think?
2024.05.22 01:19 mashal-63009 weirdest thing you've heard/seen a teacher do?
 | and here's another one!! (much more variety on this one cmon guys) submitted by mashal-63009 to Olevels [link] [comments] this one is from the GCSE subreddit (another one bigger than us -_-) (And for context, its British-only. we can be so much more funnier than those posh bo'e o' wa'er kids) ㅤㅤㅤ and again (since im boring and have no exciting stories) ill tell you guys a few from their sub - i need to tag all of these ones too? \sigh** : ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ AHHH finally So, olevels? what are your funny stories to share? |
2024.05.22 01:17 poppypess Vote Claremont, Emmys Edition
 | This is late, but my friend and I went to the for-your-consideration event for RWRB. It was a trip. submitted by poppypess to redwhiteandroyalblue [link] [comments] But it was a work function first. Members of the TV Academy—and their plus-ones, if they received one—gathered in a studio in the sweaty belly button of Hollywood. If you were a normal Angeleno like u/sixfivesteve (the friend), you sat in your car blasting the AC while the valet line bumped forward one car length at a time. If you were from a walking city, you pushed past the slow-moving tourists, hoped the flies circling a mysterious stench didn’t lay eggs on you, and checked in with an attendant who wore a concerning amount of black for someone whose job was to stand in direct sun. There was a (life-changing) screening of the movie, a panel, and a reception. There was also retail politics. Here’s what happened. Whoever put together the playlist knew what they were doingThe vibe before the screening was jolly. There was a whole bathroom conversation about 1) therapeutic cannabis, because you’ve gotta, and 2) people everyone has run into.Ushers handed out mini-servings of popcorn that felt stingy as hell but were probably just nutritionist-recommended serving sizes. Steve grabbed candy and water that came in slightly less environmentally disastrous packaging than the stuff you’d get from most grocery stores. Whoever put together the playlist had done their homework, by which I mean they’ve spent time on the non-broey part of the internet. This is where I tell you that the event featured strip club music, by which I mean they played “Pony” by Ginuwine. Before and after the screening. It was as if whoever set up the playlist knew that some attendees’ brains—and bits—might explode, reconstitute themselves, and implode again under stimulus (the movie), work event be damned. The screening was a case for seeing movies in theaters for the sound. Because…You could hear the beginning of the blow job.You could hear the beginning of the blow job. You could hear the beginning of the blow job. In the space of about a second, I went from living in a world in which that scene had a lil’ zipper sound to one where the zip was followed by a flat, wet drag. The sound had texture. It almost had temperature. Y’all, I am forever changed. Always see movies in the theater. Nolan, Tarantino, et al have talked about this. They’re right. Listen to this man before he teaches you a lesson. Something else I’d seen but never before heard while watching the movie in home setups: Bea says “no!” when Henry declines Alex’s call in the meeting with Philip, Tommy, and other palace staff. She doesn’t just mouth it. Her interjection interrupts Philip mid-sentence, who glares at her and says, “As I was saying…” It’s also just fun to hear the audience’s reactions. Some of the laugh lines:
Speaking of sexual, the crowd held its breath during the sex scenes. Emmy voters have watched plenty of sex scenes with their colleagues, but after the bravely-repressing-a-wobble acknowledgement of I owe you an explanation, after ~very bad things~ in Alex's room, after the phrase “make love”—which deserves to be not just roasted but incinerated—the Paris sex scene was…relief? Revel? Revelation? Look at me trying to talk around the effect the scene (may have) had on the room. People were off-gassing oxytocin. Estradiol. Testosterone. Since it was a work event, the weight and texture of the hush was what you’d get if everyone on a group camping trip was trying to discreetly watch porn. (To paraphrase the dad from Easy A, high-end porn—for governors and athletes, but porn nonetheless.) But I project. Uma Thurman did an Ariana Huffington laugh during the panelI laughed and laughed and laughed.What should I say about the panel? That everyone’s features were somehow both full and sharp enough to thin-slice the cured meat of your choice? That Taylor Zakhar-Perez made a small breeze every time he blinked? That Nicholas Galitzine was a diffident dumpling? That Uma Thurman was an intellect? That Rachel Hilson was lithe and and fresh-faced and ready for any cosmetics campaign you threw at her—which, incidentally, has always described Uma Thurman? That Matthew López was extremely cute? That Greg Berlanti was the dad/uncle some of your friends wanted as a mentor and others had wholesome crushes on? That Sarah Schechter was the friend’s cool older sister made good? That if you put the RWRB cast into an early Almodóvar movie, the result would be credible? Whatever I can say about the panel, you can get more straightforward coverage and footage of it elsewhere, including this subreddit. (Check out the post from the woman who got so horny from watching the movie that she started going after her husband nonstop.) I did a search on Tumblr for “RWRB FYC panel” for you. You’ll get Galitzine saying “the throes of love.” You’ll get TZP talking about matcha. You’ll get Casey McQuiston—that perfectly cast nonbinary creator-god of the RWRB universe—describing their brush with psychological collapse when TZP tried to have a conversation with them while in costume as Alex Claremont-Diaz. Enjoy. The campaign trail is paved with selfiesCampaigning for nominations—and eventually, awards—is not so different from running for public office. The panel ended and everyone was set loose on the panelists and the “immersive for-your-consideration experience.” (Sure.)Getting to the cater waiters to pinch mini-tacos, meh crabcakes, fish and chips with tartar sauce instead of vinegar (why?), and tiny cake cubes was like wading upstream. The crowd was moving in the opposite direction. Why? …oh. Galitzine was taking photos with people. Elsewhere in the immersive whositwhatsit, TZP was doing the same thing with a swarm of his own. https://preview.redd.it/rkp916mxzu1d1.jpg?width=1818&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e01a4cf99ae5163c766e8bc284f219526b450e3a https://preview.redd.it/hzco2eev4v1d1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=922d4d097f214d4bb9a5747de05b76cfe579d23b I’d thought they were on display during the panel, but no. This was what they were there for. They were there to shake hands, talk shop briefly—with occasional promises to follow up later—and take selfies. The reward for all this would (theoretically) be nominations and votes. This was a campaign stop. On-theme for RWRB. Cue montage of Alex Claremont-Diaz making fundraising calls. Can you get a charley horse in your face? I bet the actors had them, but that’s campaign life. Forward Together and all that. Matthew López and the producers wandered the floor. At one point, I heard Casey McQuiston tell a small group about how they didn’t have any particular in with agents or publishers. It often is about flinging yourself out there, whatever you want to do. A vote for RWRB is a vote for softness (stop reading here to avoid egghead content)While we’re speaking in campaign terms, who and what is RWRB for? It’s for people who love love. It’s for people who love fun—who are fun, dammit. It’s for people with uomosexual tendencies (uomo = Italian for “man”). It’s for the occasional lucky straight guy. Most of all, it’s a refuge from straight-guy culture.Here’s what I mean. The two RWRB panels and the Roast of Tom Brady happened in the same week-long time frame. If you’re reading this, you’re almost definitely in the tank with RWRB. The Roast is straight-guy culture cranked up to eleventy billion by comparison. If we go by the Roast, straight-guy culture looks like big men the color of medium-rare steak yelling dick jokes from the dais—but using the less funny and more aggressive and self-regarding “cock” instead. It looks like Gronk pretending he can’t read and using Kim Kardashian’s genitalia to make a beef pun. It looks like Nikki Glaser, the token straight-woman comedian, being a good sport while the men in attendance called her ugly. Don’t get me wrong. I watched and laughed. A good dick joke takes skill, and some of them were damn good. I even thought Julian Edelman was hot for 20 minutes. But the tonal difference between the Roast and the RWRB event—to say nothing of RWRB itself—was jarring. Straight-guy masculine culture is so committed to not being soft. Don’t go soft is basically its motto. Meanwhile, RWRB is about—among other things—softness. Henry Car-Crash-of-Last-Names gives the object of his attraction the up-and-down, but in a way that’s more endearing than objectifying. He doesn’t do the hard stare. He’s all-in on Byron, Austen, Zadie Smith, and…Streisand. Unlike Gronk, Henry can read, and he reads with relish. So does Alex, of course. The American is sweet and proactive. When he develops feelings for a friend with (many) benefits, he’s matter-of-fact about it and doesn’t get defensive or evade his emotions. In other words, Alex and Henry’s masculinity is soft. Soft masculinity acknowledges the dimensions of a person beyond how well they can slam into other men (sporty or sexual) or women (sexual). For a lot of people, soft masculinity is a fantasy and a gift. It can be a gift to anyone. Look at Steve. He finds that version of masculinity intoxicating, even as someone who’s already a winner of the masculinity lottery, at least as defined by large parts of straight-guy culture. He’s white and tall and strong and has hoes (houses), not in every area code—sorry, rappers who talk about that kind of thing—but some good ones. He loves RWRB. Everything about it. (Lest you thirsty beasts start having big thoughts about him, he’s married.) Steve even inserted himself into the height contest/debate Galitzine and TZP sometimes have for lulz. He had a “you’re wearing lifts” conversation of his own. Not with TZP. With Galitzine, who joked about wearing lifts himself. It was still not enough to top Steve. (How funny would it be if this is when I reveal that Steve is Conan O’Brien? To be clear, he’s not. Besides, Conan O’Brien is sixfourconan.) — — — — The next night, while Steve and I were still catatonic from staying up until alarming hours, another panel took place in front of a crowd of people who didn’t need to consider anything about RWRB. They were already real-ass, excited fans who saw Alex and Henry—and for some of them, Galitzine and TZP—as secular saints of cheerful-romantic-triumphant horniness. Avatars of the kinds of guys you could have a crush on in middle- and high school without raising alarms (unless you were a boy being raised by homophobes, in which case I’m sorry). The audience on that second night got the news of a sequel from Matthew López, who spoke directly to them from the stage. They cheered and whooped and began their vigil for round two. Sí, se puede. |
2024.05.22 01:16 ElenorClemm AITHA for getting divorced because I was tired of insisting on couples therapy because of my postpartum depression and he wouldn't accept?
At the fisrt, sorry for my english, i'm a little oxidated, but i'll try my best. (it's not my original lenguaje)
But first, a little of context:
It's an story by 7 years. I did meet my (not still) ex-husband on a convention of Anime, i did in cossplayed by Electra and he was Tony Stark, he was had a girlfriend and I was in a toxit relationship (story i'll tell in other time). But in that day, i swear, i did wish had him, i did fall in love. We talk just a little moment, we take a photograph and we keep going with our lives.
One year latter, when i'd brake up my relationship, i fall down in a horrible depression and 1 try to unsiscribe by the life. I'd try to grow up and join a group of single peopple just search fun. I'd was surprised to find that boy again in that group.
Uno month latter, we'd be in a relationship. After two years, we was marrige. Whitout anything more than love, we start this new stage, in the night of weddings, i got pregnant.
At that moment, i wasn´t know i had anxiety and depression cronique, and during pregnancy it only gets worse, and our relationship wasn't the best, we fight a lot, especially because I felt very unprotected by my partner: when we went out there were men who made bad comments to me and I even had to walk home alone after work, not to mention that there were a couple of occasions in which, due to the times , I could only prepare food and run to work, without eating a bite, to be surprised when I returned that he alone finished the food without leaving me anything.
Added to that, the first four months of pregnancy and marriage, he was without work, I had to take care of the household alone; Added to this, to lighten the burden a little, a relative did us the favor of renting us well below the value he had, his house which was uninhabited. Imagine my shame when he asked for the rent and I didn't have the money to pay because my husband didn't go out looking for work. If they hadn't given him an ultimatum, he would have spent years like this, until he asked for a job at the only company where they don't fire anyone.
All of this caused me to spend the entire pregnancy stressed and worried.
The last straw was the day my baby was born, which coincided with my husband's birthday. I had a complicated birth, in which they had to do an emergency procedure: I was hospitalized for two full days, alone, without eating or drinking anything (For those who don't know, the medical service in Mexico is beyond terrible). Not to make it long, my birth was more than complicated; and my mortification was no less when all my relatives, when they were able to come see me, kept telling me how mortified they were, on the other hand my husband looked like a child at Christmas because they brought him gifts for his birthday, even my best friend from school.
When my baby was born, I was aware that I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to take some time to recover before returning to work. And for those who are wondering, it's not like I had a great job, our economic position was not good at all, but my depression only got worse since my baby was born, the complications of childbirth made me feel terribly guilty just thinking about it. that something could have happened to my baby.
Day after day, even though I did not work and did not contribute financially to the house, I made an effort to ensure that the little money that came into the house was enough for everything: milk, diapers and food. Despite everything, I always made sure to prepare a good breakfast and lunch for my husband to take to work, I got up before him so I could have that attention with him; Imagine my disappointment when he often returned with the food intact from when she prepared it for him and told me that he had preferred to buy something to eat. This only made me feel like I was useless. Added to the fact that on more than one occasion he even left the front door of the house open for us: a woman who had just had surgery and a newborn baby, in a neighborhood where, in open secret, it was hot for organized crime, added to the fact that I I felt insecure around him.
My family kept making comments to me about how bad my husband felt for me, how bad I looked (comments that I questioned, because my family never liked my husband). Despite the bad things, he had his attempts to be thoughtful and considerate (in the wrong way or causing me more problems, but I understood that it was his way of showing that he cared).
This was when I began to understand that my husband was like that, disconnected from reality, it was his shell of protection since he practically grew up in foster homes with "relatives" or "acquaintances", many of them were very violent and mistreated him, making him feel alone and vulnerable. I learned much of this from him, the rest his mother herself came to tell me and the rest was a matter of adding 2 + 2.
When I assimilated this and that the situation would not improve, when my baby turned 9 months old, I decided to look for a job, fortunately I found a way to work from what I studied (because yes, I have a degree), and with very humanitarian bosses. those who didn't even mind me occasionally taking my baby to teach classes with me (because yes, I ended up teaching at a basic level). Thanks to this, the situation at home improved a little, but the arguments did not stop over small things, more than anything everything he did or did not do bothered me. I guess it was because of the exhaustion of dealing with everything alone, and for anyone wondering, no, he practically didn't help me with the baby issues; With the household chores (just washing the dishes and sometimes sweeping the common areas), I took care of the rest, in addition to always making sure the house was safe for a one-year-old baby.
One of the breaking points for me (this occurs in the dark time of the pandemic when we all lock ourselves at home), your company was one of the last to send them to rest, however, since my sector was related to dealing with children, I was one of the first sectors to confine themselves to home, so now I was doing homme office. One morning I realized that the man not only lost the keys to the house, but he took mine to leave, locked them and left them stuck outside the door, leaving me locked in with my baby without the possibility of getting out if anything arose. emergency. If it hadn't been for my father, who came to visit me to see how he was doing, who knows what would have happened. Get an idea of how little he cared about the safety of his family.
These, among other things, added up over the years, until I began to ask him, as a last chance to save our marriage (because at this point, I felt broken and discouraged), I insisted that we seek help, couples therapy or at least individual therapy, but he didn't listen to me or wasn't interested. Until the first time I packed my and my baby's things, he realized that I was serious and that I would leave him, he still didn't want therapy, not even when I was honest with him and told him that there were many things that I couldn't do. forgive him, especially for the pregnancy; What did happen was that he began to collaborate more at home and finally began to take responsibilities with our son.
The facts:
What ended up being the final break was a day of extreme heat, where the weather was useless and there were no technicians operating in the area. My son, now 3 years old, is very hot and in any heat his nose tends to bleed a lot, especially that weekend he was very tired, despite that, the only solution I could think of was to put the pool inside the house ( to avoid having it under the sun), I clarify that at that time we lived in a small two-bedroom apartment, which yes, I admit was an impractical solution but it was the only thing that occurred to me. Even before I did it, I notified him of what I was trying to do, not to ask for permission, but just to notify him so he wouldn't be taken by surprise.
When he got home, he didn't say hello, he didn't say anything, he just left his things and left the house to get a taxi. When I caught up with him to ask him, he said he was going to his mother's house to get an air conditioning unit that he planned to bring to install to solve the problem, to which I gave him my list of problems with it, because we didn't have permission to make modifications to begin with. Thus in the department, adding the amount of electricity it used, transportation, among others. To which he also responded with his list of drawbacks that he saw with my solution. The point is that the argument escalated and ended with him throwing the water into the garden and me locking myself in the room with my daughter, enduring the heat of the day.
Neither of us spoke to each other the rest of the day, in the morning, the first thing I did was pack my things and my baby's things discreetly. I called my parents to tell them what had happened and they were more than willing to receive us (something that did not make me so calm because, yes, one of the reasons why I married him in a hurry was that my parents were a cornerstone of my anxiety and depression).
The next night, with my things packed, I waited for my husband to drop the bomb, tell him that he was leaving with our son, he cried a lot, he begged me for another chance; That time I didn't shed a single tear, not because I didn't love him, despite everything, I followed him and I still love him, but I realized that I was loving him more than I loved me and my daughter. . I didn't cry because I spent years crying alone and falling asleep with tears.
I asked him if he would prefer to end the relationship peacefully, where we could still rescue our friendship, before reaching a point where I couldn't even tolerate seeing him.
That was the only time when he finally said that he would take therapy, but I no longer believed him. I know he did it just to convince me, but in the end he wasn't going to do it. So I decided to leave the next day with my things. It was the last time we talked about it.
At the moment:
We have a year apart, we decided to give ourselves a few months to settle in and calm our spirits. Despite this, we have still kept in touch through our daughter, when it is her turn to visit or when she brings him an errand.
I don't deny that I still love him, and now I'm the one who would like our marriage to be fixed, but he is the first to say that he feels better now.
Now that I am living with my parents, my symptoms of anxiety and depression have not improved at all, on the contrary. I don't know if I ever feel like going back to him was a desperate attempt to get out of my parents' house, because he was the only person who made me feel understood and that there was nothing wrong with being who I was (I did). which has mainly contributed to my mental health), because I clarify, my son has a disability and since his diagnosis, he has not contributed much either, I have been with the support of my family in the face of that, but not with my ex-husband or the his family, so I use practically all of my salary on my son and his basic needs; His father gives me alimony for him, but only the equivalent of $20 dollars a week, against medication a month that costs about $100, plus his therapies and special attention.
So I ask.
AITAH for asking my husband for a divorce for refusing to go to therapy?
I really appreciate that you take the time, I know that it is not a short or brief story, I will try to answer your questions in the comments if I have not been clear in any aspect. Right now I'm a mess, I'm discouraged because my situation is currently not good, my profession wears me out emotionally and mentally, added to the condition of my son who makes me feel like I'm not doing things right...
I need to know that there is something in life that I haven't done so badly. In advance, thank you Reddit community.
submitted by ElenorClemm to AITAH [link] [comments]
But first, a little of context:
It's an story by 7 years. I did meet my (not still) ex-husband on a convention of Anime, i did in cossplayed by Electra and he was Tony Stark, he was had a girlfriend and I was in a toxit relationship (story i'll tell in other time). But in that day, i swear, i did wish had him, i did fall in love. We talk just a little moment, we take a photograph and we keep going with our lives.
One year latter, when i'd brake up my relationship, i fall down in a horrible depression and 1 try to unsiscribe by the life. I'd try to grow up and join a group of single peopple just search fun. I'd was surprised to find that boy again in that group.
Uno month latter, we'd be in a relationship. After two years, we was marrige. Whitout anything more than love, we start this new stage, in the night of weddings, i got pregnant.
At that moment, i wasn´t know i had anxiety and depression cronique, and during pregnancy it only gets worse, and our relationship wasn't the best, we fight a lot, especially because I felt very unprotected by my partner: when we went out there were men who made bad comments to me and I even had to walk home alone after work, not to mention that there were a couple of occasions in which, due to the times , I could only prepare food and run to work, without eating a bite, to be surprised when I returned that he alone finished the food without leaving me anything.
Added to that, the first four months of pregnancy and marriage, he was without work, I had to take care of the household alone; Added to this, to lighten the burden a little, a relative did us the favor of renting us well below the value he had, his house which was uninhabited. Imagine my shame when he asked for the rent and I didn't have the money to pay because my husband didn't go out looking for work. If they hadn't given him an ultimatum, he would have spent years like this, until he asked for a job at the only company where they don't fire anyone.
All of this caused me to spend the entire pregnancy stressed and worried.
The last straw was the day my baby was born, which coincided with my husband's birthday. I had a complicated birth, in which they had to do an emergency procedure: I was hospitalized for two full days, alone, without eating or drinking anything (For those who don't know, the medical service in Mexico is beyond terrible). Not to make it long, my birth was more than complicated; and my mortification was no less when all my relatives, when they were able to come see me, kept telling me how mortified they were, on the other hand my husband looked like a child at Christmas because they brought him gifts for his birthday, even my best friend from school.
When my baby was born, I was aware that I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to take some time to recover before returning to work. And for those who are wondering, it's not like I had a great job, our economic position was not good at all, but my depression only got worse since my baby was born, the complications of childbirth made me feel terribly guilty just thinking about it. that something could have happened to my baby.
Day after day, even though I did not work and did not contribute financially to the house, I made an effort to ensure that the little money that came into the house was enough for everything: milk, diapers and food. Despite everything, I always made sure to prepare a good breakfast and lunch for my husband to take to work, I got up before him so I could have that attention with him; Imagine my disappointment when he often returned with the food intact from when she prepared it for him and told me that he had preferred to buy something to eat. This only made me feel like I was useless. Added to the fact that on more than one occasion he even left the front door of the house open for us: a woman who had just had surgery and a newborn baby, in a neighborhood where, in open secret, it was hot for organized crime, added to the fact that I I felt insecure around him.
My family kept making comments to me about how bad my husband felt for me, how bad I looked (comments that I questioned, because my family never liked my husband). Despite the bad things, he had his attempts to be thoughtful and considerate (in the wrong way or causing me more problems, but I understood that it was his way of showing that he cared).
This was when I began to understand that my husband was like that, disconnected from reality, it was his shell of protection since he practically grew up in foster homes with "relatives" or "acquaintances", many of them were very violent and mistreated him, making him feel alone and vulnerable. I learned much of this from him, the rest his mother herself came to tell me and the rest was a matter of adding 2 + 2.
When I assimilated this and that the situation would not improve, when my baby turned 9 months old, I decided to look for a job, fortunately I found a way to work from what I studied (because yes, I have a degree), and with very humanitarian bosses. those who didn't even mind me occasionally taking my baby to teach classes with me (because yes, I ended up teaching at a basic level). Thanks to this, the situation at home improved a little, but the arguments did not stop over small things, more than anything everything he did or did not do bothered me. I guess it was because of the exhaustion of dealing with everything alone, and for anyone wondering, no, he practically didn't help me with the baby issues; With the household chores (just washing the dishes and sometimes sweeping the common areas), I took care of the rest, in addition to always making sure the house was safe for a one-year-old baby.
One of the breaking points for me (this occurs in the dark time of the pandemic when we all lock ourselves at home), your company was one of the last to send them to rest, however, since my sector was related to dealing with children, I was one of the first sectors to confine themselves to home, so now I was doing homme office. One morning I realized that the man not only lost the keys to the house, but he took mine to leave, locked them and left them stuck outside the door, leaving me locked in with my baby without the possibility of getting out if anything arose. emergency. If it hadn't been for my father, who came to visit me to see how he was doing, who knows what would have happened. Get an idea of how little he cared about the safety of his family.
These, among other things, added up over the years, until I began to ask him, as a last chance to save our marriage (because at this point, I felt broken and discouraged), I insisted that we seek help, couples therapy or at least individual therapy, but he didn't listen to me or wasn't interested. Until the first time I packed my and my baby's things, he realized that I was serious and that I would leave him, he still didn't want therapy, not even when I was honest with him and told him that there were many things that I couldn't do. forgive him, especially for the pregnancy; What did happen was that he began to collaborate more at home and finally began to take responsibilities with our son.
The facts:
What ended up being the final break was a day of extreme heat, where the weather was useless and there were no technicians operating in the area. My son, now 3 years old, is very hot and in any heat his nose tends to bleed a lot, especially that weekend he was very tired, despite that, the only solution I could think of was to put the pool inside the house ( to avoid having it under the sun), I clarify that at that time we lived in a small two-bedroom apartment, which yes, I admit was an impractical solution but it was the only thing that occurred to me. Even before I did it, I notified him of what I was trying to do, not to ask for permission, but just to notify him so he wouldn't be taken by surprise.
When he got home, he didn't say hello, he didn't say anything, he just left his things and left the house to get a taxi. When I caught up with him to ask him, he said he was going to his mother's house to get an air conditioning unit that he planned to bring to install to solve the problem, to which I gave him my list of problems with it, because we didn't have permission to make modifications to begin with. Thus in the department, adding the amount of electricity it used, transportation, among others. To which he also responded with his list of drawbacks that he saw with my solution. The point is that the argument escalated and ended with him throwing the water into the garden and me locking myself in the room with my daughter, enduring the heat of the day.
Neither of us spoke to each other the rest of the day, in the morning, the first thing I did was pack my things and my baby's things discreetly. I called my parents to tell them what had happened and they were more than willing to receive us (something that did not make me so calm because, yes, one of the reasons why I married him in a hurry was that my parents were a cornerstone of my anxiety and depression).
The next night, with my things packed, I waited for my husband to drop the bomb, tell him that he was leaving with our son, he cried a lot, he begged me for another chance; That time I didn't shed a single tear, not because I didn't love him, despite everything, I followed him and I still love him, but I realized that I was loving him more than I loved me and my daughter. . I didn't cry because I spent years crying alone and falling asleep with tears.
I asked him if he would prefer to end the relationship peacefully, where we could still rescue our friendship, before reaching a point where I couldn't even tolerate seeing him.
That was the only time when he finally said that he would take therapy, but I no longer believed him. I know he did it just to convince me, but in the end he wasn't going to do it. So I decided to leave the next day with my things. It was the last time we talked about it.
At the moment:
We have a year apart, we decided to give ourselves a few months to settle in and calm our spirits. Despite this, we have still kept in touch through our daughter, when it is her turn to visit or when she brings him an errand.
I don't deny that I still love him, and now I'm the one who would like our marriage to be fixed, but he is the first to say that he feels better now.
Now that I am living with my parents, my symptoms of anxiety and depression have not improved at all, on the contrary. I don't know if I ever feel like going back to him was a desperate attempt to get out of my parents' house, because he was the only person who made me feel understood and that there was nothing wrong with being who I was (I did). which has mainly contributed to my mental health), because I clarify, my son has a disability and since his diagnosis, he has not contributed much either, I have been with the support of my family in the face of that, but not with my ex-husband or the his family, so I use practically all of my salary on my son and his basic needs; His father gives me alimony for him, but only the equivalent of $20 dollars a week, against medication a month that costs about $100, plus his therapies and special attention.
So I ask.
AITAH for asking my husband for a divorce for refusing to go to therapy?
I really appreciate that you take the time, I know that it is not a short or brief story, I will try to answer your questions in the comments if I have not been clear in any aspect. Right now I'm a mess, I'm discouraged because my situation is currently not good, my profession wears me out emotionally and mentally, added to the condition of my son who makes me feel like I'm not doing things right...
I need to know that there is something in life that I haven't done so badly. In advance, thank you Reddit community.
2024.05.22 01:14 Ready_Car1911 Should I overcome my fear of dating apps?
I feel like an idiot for posting this on Reddit but I don't really feel comfortable venting about this with friends, so here we are!
(21F) It's been two years since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. It was a really healthy relationship and we remain really close friends, it just didn't make sense to me to keep up with it anymore.
Well, I'm a 21 year old girl, and since that breakup my social life hasn't been all that interesting really. I'm a 4th year law student and college ended up being not all that exciting, and even tough I've got to meet my amazing group of friends, I didn't really relate to anyone else. Therefore, this time when you're supposed to meet lots of people and broaden your horizons ended up stagnating a bit for me.
I consider myself an easy going person, I've never in my life find it hard to make friends or getting to know people. It's just that I haven't got many chances to. I spend most my time with my friends I already know or end up meeting people at parties who I don't talk to ever again, and being still in college doesn't give me much time for new activities. Romantic-wise, I've never been the type that cares too much (or even at all) to be in a relationship, and I never really liked the idea of having to chase anything. I thrive on my own most of the time, and whatever happens, happens. But like anyone else, I sometimes miss the occasional flirt and whatever comes with it haha. Intimacy in geral, or just having fun. More than the horny!!!! aspect of it, I really do miss getting to make friends and talk to somebody new.
Well, as I've stated before, I think I'm really easy to talk to, overall funny and outgoing. Charming in a good day, perhaps haha. About my looks, well I wouldn't say I'm stunning but I'm not very insecure, or at least I don't let it get to my head very often. Maybe not the type you'd give a second look or flirt on the subway - unless I'm reading some cool book or something haha - but maybe buy me a drink in the night if we're having a good time lol. I'm usually very friendly with anyone I meet so I don't even know how people make the jump to flirtation these days...
Back to the dating apps: as we've seen here, I'm stagnant. Not even my social media does wonders for me anymore since I've had the stupid idea of soft blocking almost everyone when I've gotten out of high school (so real to be fair), so most of my followers are people I actually know or work with today. There's always a random guy out of nowhere but you know, no one interesting enough !!
That being said, should I overcome my fear of dating apps? I'm NOT gonna lie to you, to this very day I've always been a bit prejudiced about it. Not judgemental of people who use them at all, I just never thought I'd be into it because I don't think that's the coolest way to say I've met a significant other haha. I mean, my future boyfriend can be using a dating app right now, but he surely won't find me in one. At least that's how I like to put it.
Still, I'm reluctant. My brain tells me not to do it, but at the same time my heart is telling me to do so for the plot. I really hate the idea of having to create a profile that appeals to anyone, plus the dynamic of maybe not finding matches???? I don't have many self esteem issues but idk how that would affect me in the long run. Plus, maybe this might sound wrong, but given the fact that I study law people on my field of study expect some odd seriousness of their employees, and as common as they are there's still many preconceptions about dating apps within these firms. I mean, I already hold the weight of my digital footprint being goofy on twitter haha
WELL I don't know what to expect of this! But it's my first post on Reddit so there's that! I ended up writing a lot more than I intended so feel free to engage and talk to me. Or even to call me an idiot. It's late in the night in here and I feel like oversharing SO there's that freedom of opinating about strangers lives on the internet lol
Anyway thanks in advance, and I apologize for any mistake since english ain't my first language! Idk what this subreddit is but shoutout to all my girlies ou there<3
submitted by Ready_Car1911 to TheGirlSurvivalGuide [link] [comments]
(21F) It's been two years since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. It was a really healthy relationship and we remain really close friends, it just didn't make sense to me to keep up with it anymore.
Well, I'm a 21 year old girl, and since that breakup my social life hasn't been all that interesting really. I'm a 4th year law student and college ended up being not all that exciting, and even tough I've got to meet my amazing group of friends, I didn't really relate to anyone else. Therefore, this time when you're supposed to meet lots of people and broaden your horizons ended up stagnating a bit for me.
I consider myself an easy going person, I've never in my life find it hard to make friends or getting to know people. It's just that I haven't got many chances to. I spend most my time with my friends I already know or end up meeting people at parties who I don't talk to ever again, and being still in college doesn't give me much time for new activities. Romantic-wise, I've never been the type that cares too much (or even at all) to be in a relationship, and I never really liked the idea of having to chase anything. I thrive on my own most of the time, and whatever happens, happens. But like anyone else, I sometimes miss the occasional flirt and whatever comes with it haha. Intimacy in geral, or just having fun. More than the horny!!!! aspect of it, I really do miss getting to make friends and talk to somebody new.
Well, as I've stated before, I think I'm really easy to talk to, overall funny and outgoing. Charming in a good day, perhaps haha. About my looks, well I wouldn't say I'm stunning but I'm not very insecure, or at least I don't let it get to my head very often. Maybe not the type you'd give a second look or flirt on the subway - unless I'm reading some cool book or something haha - but maybe buy me a drink in the night if we're having a good time lol. I'm usually very friendly with anyone I meet so I don't even know how people make the jump to flirtation these days...
Back to the dating apps: as we've seen here, I'm stagnant. Not even my social media does wonders for me anymore since I've had the stupid idea of soft blocking almost everyone when I've gotten out of high school (so real to be fair), so most of my followers are people I actually know or work with today. There's always a random guy out of nowhere but you know, no one interesting enough !!
That being said, should I overcome my fear of dating apps? I'm NOT gonna lie to you, to this very day I've always been a bit prejudiced about it. Not judgemental of people who use them at all, I just never thought I'd be into it because I don't think that's the coolest way to say I've met a significant other haha. I mean, my future boyfriend can be using a dating app right now, but he surely won't find me in one. At least that's how I like to put it.
Still, I'm reluctant. My brain tells me not to do it, but at the same time my heart is telling me to do so for the plot. I really hate the idea of having to create a profile that appeals to anyone, plus the dynamic of maybe not finding matches???? I don't have many self esteem issues but idk how that would affect me in the long run. Plus, maybe this might sound wrong, but given the fact that I study law people on my field of study expect some odd seriousness of their employees, and as common as they are there's still many preconceptions about dating apps within these firms. I mean, I already hold the weight of my digital footprint being goofy on twitter haha
WELL I don't know what to expect of this! But it's my first post on Reddit so there's that! I ended up writing a lot more than I intended so feel free to engage and talk to me. Or even to call me an idiot. It's late in the night in here and I feel like oversharing SO there's that freedom of opinating about strangers lives on the internet lol
Anyway thanks in advance, and I apologize for any mistake since english ain't my first language! Idk what this subreddit is but shoutout to all my girlies ou there<3
2024.05.22 01:11 jiyiwuajajaj am i selfish? advise me pls
(sorry, english is not my first language, aaaand little mention of domestic violence) I (16F) feel a little bit selfish sometimes cuz ive been ignoring all my fathers attempts to reconnect in a healthy way. here is some context:
i used to live with 5 people, 6 counting me, my great grandmother (deceased) my grandmother, mom, dad and big brother, my mom and dad used to fight a lot, they usually did it because of the way dad treated bro and me, i dont want to write the whole backstory of my dad but in a few words, his childhood was terrible, he was poor and her mom (like the real latina mom that she is) raised him and his sibling in a more old-fashioned way, so my dad was (I still believe he is) a very violent person, like fighting every single person that would say something about my uncles or his economical situation. So, he used to threaten us that he would hit us, mostly me (from what I remember, honestly, I dont have many positives memories of my childhood) but it never went beyond a few slaps in my legs, back or head, i mean, it could have been worse and even using objects to hit me yk? well this and many other actions made my great grandmother defend us, and this made my mother reproach my father more, so their fights continued. so blabla one day they were fighting, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and since I was a daddy's girl I hated my mom for a while and my dad (like the fucking manipulative man that he is) played victim and said that my mom, grandma and great grandma were bad people and more stupid things, so now you can understand the type of person he is, WELL HE CAME BACK, mom, what was on your mind???? and well the same shit happened ok THIS IS IMPORTANT STAY WITH ME:
I don't really remember what happened, but of course my great grandmother was discussing with my dad, then my grandma enter in scene and okay I don't really know I was like 10 at moment(ik im 16 but I have a really bad memory :b) but my dad said something like "I hope she die soon" (he was referring to my great grandma) and ofc my grandma went crazy and my mom was discussing too and oh surprise bye daddy nooo why does he have to left THERE WAS PURE CHAOS IN MY HOUSE OH GOD. my mom (A NON VIOLENT PERSON) almost slapped my brother like, for the anger she was living in that moment (I mean who doesn't) and well I was crying and yeah, that was the last time my dad set a foot in this house.
In the next years (this was 2019 OH I FORGOT SOMETHING my great grandmother died a few months after my dad left, so my grandma HATES my dad like she can't even look at him, but anyway my great grandmother was 93 I believe when she left us and she had a lot illnesses so I hope shes doing better somewhere) well in like, 2020 to 2022 I had a "good" relationship with my dad, but he always did this like, he stopped talking to me, and obviously a little girl need her father so at the moment I needed him he came back to me and stuff, well this kind of relationship we got, aaaand he was maybe questionable with big bro cuz he said thing like "oh yeah when you have children and be happy with your wife and kids this is what is going to happen to you" like bitch bffr how can you tell YOUR SON that??? it's so disrespectful, and with me well he always said "when you grow older you're going to understand this" ofc I understood it long time ago.
so now, last year and this year, I haven't talked to him, I don't want to, he really hurt me and idk why he can't fucking understand the level of damage? like you're the fucking adult bitch be serious, he always behaved like a little child, I realized many thing at 14 and my dad stills seeing me like the little girl that one time used to love him (omg im gonna cry) I would really love to have a good relationship with him and be the same like we were when I was a kid, but my therapist told me that if a person with his age (52 I think) doesn't change his behavior, and says "no I change, I'm a new person now" it's because he's not going to change never, and he really proven it so many times.
i stayed with that, with the pain in my heart but it's the best for me and my mental health, now my dad is a believer (always has been but now is like more) and I think he is going to therapy, of course he wants to reconnect with me and it's valid, but i don't want to, i dont want him to hurt me again, he is like negativity to me, and im really stressed and my head spins with everything happening in my life (my gf, my school, friends, economical situation, my study tour, etc). he stills texting me everyday hoping that someday im going to respond, but im not, or at least, not for now.
submitted by jiyiwuajajaj to daddyissuesclub [link] [comments]
i used to live with 5 people, 6 counting me, my great grandmother (deceased) my grandmother, mom, dad and big brother, my mom and dad used to fight a lot, they usually did it because of the way dad treated bro and me, i dont want to write the whole backstory of my dad but in a few words, his childhood was terrible, he was poor and her mom (like the real latina mom that she is) raised him and his sibling in a more old-fashioned way, so my dad was (I still believe he is) a very violent person, like fighting every single person that would say something about my uncles or his economical situation. So, he used to threaten us that he would hit us, mostly me (from what I remember, honestly, I dont have many positives memories of my childhood) but it never went beyond a few slaps in my legs, back or head, i mean, it could have been worse and even using objects to hit me yk? well this and many other actions made my great grandmother defend us, and this made my mother reproach my father more, so their fights continued. so blabla one day they were fighting, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and since I was a daddy's girl I hated my mom for a while and my dad (like the fucking manipulative man that he is) played victim and said that my mom, grandma and great grandma were bad people and more stupid things, so now you can understand the type of person he is, WELL HE CAME BACK, mom, what was on your mind???? and well the same shit happened ok THIS IS IMPORTANT STAY WITH ME:
I don't really remember what happened, but of course my great grandmother was discussing with my dad, then my grandma enter in scene and okay I don't really know I was like 10 at moment(ik im 16 but I have a really bad memory :b) but my dad said something like "I hope she die soon" (he was referring to my great grandma) and ofc my grandma went crazy and my mom was discussing too and oh surprise bye daddy nooo why does he have to left THERE WAS PURE CHAOS IN MY HOUSE OH GOD. my mom (A NON VIOLENT PERSON) almost slapped my brother like, for the anger she was living in that moment (I mean who doesn't) and well I was crying and yeah, that was the last time my dad set a foot in this house.
In the next years (this was 2019 OH I FORGOT SOMETHING my great grandmother died a few months after my dad left, so my grandma HATES my dad like she can't even look at him, but anyway my great grandmother was 93 I believe when she left us and she had a lot illnesses so I hope shes doing better somewhere) well in like, 2020 to 2022 I had a "good" relationship with my dad, but he always did this like, he stopped talking to me, and obviously a little girl need her father so at the moment I needed him he came back to me and stuff, well this kind of relationship we got, aaaand he was maybe questionable with big bro cuz he said thing like "oh yeah when you have children and be happy with your wife and kids this is what is going to happen to you" like bitch bffr how can you tell YOUR SON that??? it's so disrespectful, and with me well he always said "when you grow older you're going to understand this" ofc I understood it long time ago.
so now, last year and this year, I haven't talked to him, I don't want to, he really hurt me and idk why he can't fucking understand the level of damage? like you're the fucking adult bitch be serious, he always behaved like a little child, I realized many thing at 14 and my dad stills seeing me like the little girl that one time used to love him (omg im gonna cry) I would really love to have a good relationship with him and be the same like we were when I was a kid, but my therapist told me that if a person with his age (52 I think) doesn't change his behavior, and says "no I change, I'm a new person now" it's because he's not going to change never, and he really proven it so many times.
i stayed with that, with the pain in my heart but it's the best for me and my mental health, now my dad is a believer (always has been but now is like more) and I think he is going to therapy, of course he wants to reconnect with me and it's valid, but i don't want to, i dont want him to hurt me again, he is like negativity to me, and im really stressed and my head spins with everything happening in my life (my gf, my school, friends, economical situation, my study tour, etc). he stills texting me everyday hoping that someday im going to respond, but im not, or at least, not for now.
2024.05.22 01:11 Appliance7717 Dilemma with Airbnb host treatment - no long showers allowed and dog peed on my suitcase and clothes - how should I respond? [Spain]
Dilemma with Airbnb host treatment - no long showers allowed and dog peed on my suitcase and clothes - how should I respond? [Spain]
Hey folks just wanted to get your thoughts on this situation I had recently.
I booked a last minute Airbnb for 3 nights recently in a big Spanish city (Airbnb was outside city center for €40 per night). It was shared with the host (a boomer Spanish lady and her puppy dog). Nowadays, I filter with Guest Favorites and only look at listings where the host is rated over 4.80. This host had 50 reviews, was a super host and the listing was a guest favorite and had a rating of 4.92
I arrived midnight (prearranged well in advance with the host as check in is only until 23h according to the listing). I immediately go to bed without showering as I had one in the previous stay and was going to exercise the next day anyway. I spend all of next day outside and return at night and take a long shower (20-30 mins) before going to bed. I sleep in the next day and the host requests that I don’t shower so long (we communicate in basic French as she doesn’t know English and I don’t know Spanish)… I say all good, I’ll keep it shorter next time. I go inside and I’m in the bathroom for about 20 mins, brushing my teeth, taking a dump etc. and am careful to only take a shower between 5-10 max minutes. I get a message from the host later that evening (translated):
Host:
Hi Appliance7717, I wanted to let you know that tomorrow the departure is at 11 o'clock also because I have to leave, I also wanted to let you know that if you would take another shower I would ask you to keep it shorter, thank you Appliance7717.
Guest:
I showered for 5 minutes today. You want it to be shorter than that?
I did spend more time in the bathroom using the toilet, brushing my teeth etc.
Or I just can’t use the bathroom for long?
Host:
No please, if that's the case it's all right.
It's just that it's a huge expense for me.
I’m in the metro when I read this message and get all flustered and take the wrong train etc. and am a bit frustrated but whatever, I’ll check out sharp 11am tomorrow and get it over with. I’d booked a hostel for the next day anyway. I also missed out on seeing the meteorite (!) whilst all this was happening 😆 but I really think I shouldn’t be sweating about this shit on vacation and walking on eggshells over something so petty…
Anyway, next day rolls up and I scramble to get things packed up and ready so I don’t upset her by checking in after 11am. I’m basically on track to check out by 10:30. Now she has a dog, 🐕 which I didn’t mention - doesn’t seem to be well trained, barked quite a lot and woke me from my sleep earlier in the day but I didn’t make a fuss at all. I’m the 5 mins where I happened to be in the kitchen without closing my room’s door, it went and peed over my suitcase and clothes. It also took a sock, chewed it up and took it somewhere else. Mind you, the host didn’t mention anything about the possibility that the dog would be doing this. I’ve lived with dogs in airbnbs before and never had this issue. Nothing in the listing or house rules about taking long showers or what to do regarding the dog like keeping the door closed etc. She dabbed the pee with paper towels, and said that I should have closed the door but did say “Désole (sorry in French). I had to ask for disinfectant spray. I was upset and was banging my hand on the forehead and expressing regret but nothing more. She saw a pair of any shorts I’m soaked in urine but absolutely no offer to clean it, extend checkout etc. It seemed perfectly acceptable that this happened. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Super hosts are meant to go above and beyond in my view, and here she was struggling to be somewhat décent. We didn’t argue or anything there, if anything I was just a bit terse and we said au revoir and I left to go do the cleaning in my next place (took about 3 hours to get vinegar, bleach, hydrogen peroxide etc.)
Thinking of the Golden Rule, I’d never do this to somebody else if I were her. I’d offer compensation or something….
Anyway, my dilemma is that I wouldn’t have any hesitation going after a hefty compensation were it some young dude or couple as host. This lady doesn’t seem financially well off, seeing as taking a long shower has an impact on her profits. And I just feel kinda bad posturing me screwing over this old lady and her puppy dog for some cash. But I absolutely do not appreciate how I was treated and goes fundamentally against my sense of decency and fairness… I also hate how Airbnb has devolved to classify such hosts as superhosts.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think I should pursue? Should I ask for compensation? Leave a poor review? I see that she already left me a review on the afternoon that I checkout out. I have a feeling that she left a negative review - I noticed this from a previous guests review as well as what the host wrote about that guest.
Host’s review of Guest plus Guest’s response:
Guest, she is a polite and clean girl, but a great consumption of hot water and electricity, I am personally, these guests are not interested since for €134 I believe that as a host I am not interested , as a host I have not had any problems now, now I have only to wait for my electricity , water and gas bills, I am a person with very few resources, and from now on I do not accept promotions, because for it it is not profitable.
Dear Host, during my stay you didn't tell me anything. Other than that, I've never had any issues with other hosts. I was almost not at the house because I was visiting the city. I was just taking regular showers and was charging my phone and laptop when I needed it. What you wrote about me, I don't think it's true or fair and I'm really sorry to read that because I thought we had a great time the whole time.
Guest’s review of Host:
I had a nice stay at Host's place. It's good for 1-3 days since the room is very small and really suitable only for sleeping (no chair, table, ..). The location is okay, a bit far from the centre, but you can get everywhere by bus or by metro.
submitted by Appliance7717 to AirBnB [link] [comments]
Hey folks just wanted to get your thoughts on this situation I had recently.
I booked a last minute Airbnb for 3 nights recently in a big Spanish city (Airbnb was outside city center for €40 per night). It was shared with the host (a boomer Spanish lady and her puppy dog). Nowadays, I filter with Guest Favorites and only look at listings where the host is rated over 4.80. This host had 50 reviews, was a super host and the listing was a guest favorite and had a rating of 4.92
I arrived midnight (prearranged well in advance with the host as check in is only until 23h according to the listing). I immediately go to bed without showering as I had one in the previous stay and was going to exercise the next day anyway. I spend all of next day outside and return at night and take a long shower (20-30 mins) before going to bed. I sleep in the next day and the host requests that I don’t shower so long (we communicate in basic French as she doesn’t know English and I don’t know Spanish)… I say all good, I’ll keep it shorter next time. I go inside and I’m in the bathroom for about 20 mins, brushing my teeth, taking a dump etc. and am careful to only take a shower between 5-10 max minutes. I get a message from the host later that evening (translated):
Host:
Hi Appliance7717, I wanted to let you know that tomorrow the departure is at 11 o'clock also because I have to leave, I also wanted to let you know that if you would take another shower I would ask you to keep it shorter, thank you Appliance7717.
Guest:
I showered for 5 minutes today. You want it to be shorter than that?
I did spend more time in the bathroom using the toilet, brushing my teeth etc.
Or I just can’t use the bathroom for long?
Host:
No please, if that's the case it's all right.
It's just that it's a huge expense for me.
I’m in the metro when I read this message and get all flustered and take the wrong train etc. and am a bit frustrated but whatever, I’ll check out sharp 11am tomorrow and get it over with. I’d booked a hostel for the next day anyway. I also missed out on seeing the meteorite (!) whilst all this was happening 😆 but I really think I shouldn’t be sweating about this shit on vacation and walking on eggshells over something so petty…
Anyway, next day rolls up and I scramble to get things packed up and ready so I don’t upset her by checking in after 11am. I’m basically on track to check out by 10:30. Now she has a dog, 🐕 which I didn’t mention - doesn’t seem to be well trained, barked quite a lot and woke me from my sleep earlier in the day but I didn’t make a fuss at all. I’m the 5 mins where I happened to be in the kitchen without closing my room’s door, it went and peed over my suitcase and clothes. It also took a sock, chewed it up and took it somewhere else. Mind you, the host didn’t mention anything about the possibility that the dog would be doing this. I’ve lived with dogs in airbnbs before and never had this issue. Nothing in the listing or house rules about taking long showers or what to do regarding the dog like keeping the door closed etc. She dabbed the pee with paper towels, and said that I should have closed the door but did say “Désole (sorry in French). I had to ask for disinfectant spray. I was upset and was banging my hand on the forehead and expressing regret but nothing more. She saw a pair of any shorts I’m soaked in urine but absolutely no offer to clean it, extend checkout etc. It seemed perfectly acceptable that this happened. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Super hosts are meant to go above and beyond in my view, and here she was struggling to be somewhat décent. We didn’t argue or anything there, if anything I was just a bit terse and we said au revoir and I left to go do the cleaning in my next place (took about 3 hours to get vinegar, bleach, hydrogen peroxide etc.)
Thinking of the Golden Rule, I’d never do this to somebody else if I were her. I’d offer compensation or something….
Anyway, my dilemma is that I wouldn’t have any hesitation going after a hefty compensation were it some young dude or couple as host. This lady doesn’t seem financially well off, seeing as taking a long shower has an impact on her profits. And I just feel kinda bad posturing me screwing over this old lady and her puppy dog for some cash. But I absolutely do not appreciate how I was treated and goes fundamentally against my sense of decency and fairness… I also hate how Airbnb has devolved to classify such hosts as superhosts.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think I should pursue? Should I ask for compensation? Leave a poor review? I see that she already left me a review on the afternoon that I checkout out. I have a feeling that she left a negative review - I noticed this from a previous guests review as well as what the host wrote about that guest.
Host’s review of Guest plus Guest’s response:
Guest, she is a polite and clean girl, but a great consumption of hot water and electricity, I am personally, these guests are not interested since for €134 I believe that as a host I am not interested , as a host I have not had any problems now, now I have only to wait for my electricity , water and gas bills, I am a person with very few resources, and from now on I do not accept promotions, because for it it is not profitable.
Dear Host, during my stay you didn't tell me anything. Other than that, I've never had any issues with other hosts. I was almost not at the house because I was visiting the city. I was just taking regular showers and was charging my phone and laptop when I needed it. What you wrote about me, I don't think it's true or fair and I'm really sorry to read that because I thought we had a great time the whole time.
Guest’s review of Host:
I had a nice stay at Host's place. It's good for 1-3 days since the room is very small and really suitable only for sleeping (no chair, table, ..). The location is okay, a bit far from the centre, but you can get everywhere by bus or by metro.
2024.05.22 01:08 KratomHelpsMyPain Help with Klingon transliteration
I'm looking to get "To Be Or Not To Be" as a tattoo in the original Klingon.
Canonically this is written as taH pagh taHbe' in the Latin alphabet. I want to get the proper transliteration into pIqaD. The only source I can find on the internet for this is here:
https://silth.myspreadshop.no/hamlet+klingon+tah+tah+vaere+pagh-A58c140ed0c6aed5051b010eb?sellable=G5Ze45MMR5S7kgm2yMbE-1313-32&productType=1313&size=29
However, this looks to me to have an extra character in the middle word. Here's the alphabet on the KLI site: https://www.kli.org/about-klingon/writing-klingon/
rather than 'pagh' (the word "or" in English) the reference image seems to transliterate to paghH, with an extra an unnecessary character at the end.
I'm looking for anyone familiar with Klingon script who can confirm whether the reference image on the cup is correct, or my suspicion that it has an extra letter is correct.
Thanks.
submitted by KratomHelpsMyPain to startrek [link] [comments]
Canonically this is written as taH pagh taHbe' in the Latin alphabet. I want to get the proper transliteration into pIqaD. The only source I can find on the internet for this is here:
https://silth.myspreadshop.no/hamlet+klingon+tah+tah+vaere+pagh-A58c140ed0c6aed5051b010eb?sellable=G5Ze45MMR5S7kgm2yMbE-1313-32&productType=1313&size=29
However, this looks to me to have an extra character in the middle word. Here's the alphabet on the KLI site: https://www.kli.org/about-klingon/writing-klingon/
rather than 'pagh' (the word "or" in English) the reference image seems to transliterate to paghH, with an extra an unnecessary character at the end.
I'm looking for anyone familiar with Klingon script who can confirm whether the reference image on the cup is correct, or my suspicion that it has an extra letter is correct.
Thanks.
2024.05.22 01:07 GuinnessSteve Is there a term for someone who constantly mispronounces words?
It's a thing I've noticed about a handful of people in my life. I've never called attention to it, because I don't want to be rude. I'm not talking about regional accents, or people for whom English is a second language.
Very specifically, these people jumble the middle letters or even syllables of a word in their native language. Frequently.The word can be written down for them to see, or they may have recently heard the word spoken correctly by others several times. It seems to me like it might be a form of dyslexia or other similar situation.
submitted by GuinnessSteve to grammar [link] [comments]
Very specifically, these people jumble the middle letters or even syllables of a word in their native language. Frequently.The word can be written down for them to see, or they may have recently heard the word spoken correctly by others several times. It seems to me like it might be a form of dyslexia or other similar situation.
2024.05.22 00:58 LadyMinks Is there any way I could find someone's address?
I know I sound like a massive stalker in the title, but I promise I am not. I can prove I actually know, and am on good terms with, this woman if I have to.
Backstory;
About 10 years ago I(28f) made a penpall, named Paula. There was this meme on 9GAG about penpalls, and this idiot (I wanna say James?) posted his address in the comments (somewhere in Yorkshire), saying he was open for penpalls. Back then I was studying to become an English teacher (in the Netherlands, where I'm from/still living), and was compelled to write a letter.
So I wrote one, and on the back of the envelope, I wrote something along the lines of: 'if you're not James, some idiot put your address in a 9GAG comment.'
Well, turns out James was away for the weekend and his housemates were freaking out about the pile of clearly handwritten letters showing up (I've always imagined a Harry Potter situation with the hogwarts letters in my mind). Apparently I was the only one to have mentioned anything on the envelope, so they opened mine. I got a message from one of his housemates, Paula, explaining the situation. She mentioned James had gotten a bunch of letters and would have all the penpals he'd need for the rest of his life , and if I'd like to be penpalls with her instead.
We exchanged letters for a while, mental health got in my way and we lost touch.
I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I would love to surprise her with a letter. I hardly use Facebook, but apparently we're still friends and she seems quite active. So I could totally ask her for her address, as I assume she no longer lives in the same house as 8 years ago. But I'd really love to surprise her instead.
While i don't want to put out too much information about her out here on Reddit, I think her fiance is called Jake, and they're somewhere in Yorkshire, somewhere near Leeds.
I'm just wondering if i could find her address with her name (first and last) and the area? Her last name is uncommon, as she's not originally from the UK.
Again, I can prove (Facebook messenger screenshots) that I know her, that I am not bothering her, and that we were friends
Apologies if I'm in the wrong subreddit for this and I'd totally understand if this would get removed.
submitted by LadyMinks to AskUK [link] [comments]
Backstory;
About 10 years ago I(28f) made a penpall, named Paula. There was this meme on 9GAG about penpalls, and this idiot (I wanna say James?) posted his address in the comments (somewhere in Yorkshire), saying he was open for penpalls. Back then I was studying to become an English teacher (in the Netherlands, where I'm from/still living), and was compelled to write a letter.
So I wrote one, and on the back of the envelope, I wrote something along the lines of: 'if you're not James, some idiot put your address in a 9GAG comment.'
Well, turns out James was away for the weekend and his housemates were freaking out about the pile of clearly handwritten letters showing up (I've always imagined a Harry Potter situation with the hogwarts letters in my mind). Apparently I was the only one to have mentioned anything on the envelope, so they opened mine. I got a message from one of his housemates, Paula, explaining the situation. She mentioned James had gotten a bunch of letters and would have all the penpals he'd need for the rest of his life , and if I'd like to be penpalls with her instead.
We exchanged letters for a while, mental health got in my way and we lost touch.
I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I would love to surprise her with a letter. I hardly use Facebook, but apparently we're still friends and she seems quite active. So I could totally ask her for her address, as I assume she no longer lives in the same house as 8 years ago. But I'd really love to surprise her instead.
While i don't want to put out too much information about her out here on Reddit, I think her fiance is called Jake, and they're somewhere in Yorkshire, somewhere near Leeds.
I'm just wondering if i could find her address with her name (first and last) and the area? Her last name is uncommon, as she's not originally from the UK.
Again, I can prove (Facebook messenger screenshots) that I know her, that I am not bothering her, and that we were friends
Apologies if I'm in the wrong subreddit for this and I'd totally understand if this would get removed.
2024.05.22 00:56 Melted_Moon Too sensitive and childish
Hi !
I am a 19F, and I am too sensitive and come across as childish, because of my personality. I cannot argue with someone close, like my family, without crying.
Long contextualisation here, sorry in advance. This is more of a vent post looking for advice.
I was the cliché weird girl, ugly, curly hair and glasses, with no friends and who didn’t understood what was going on half of the time. I got bullied in preschool and sometimes over the years. I am ashamed, but I got violent when people were mocking me, and when we argued, because I was sad and didn’t knew what to do. Still am today to some extent. I was very unhappy when in public and in school, borderline embarrassed of existing, hating myself, but it got way better as a teen.
I grew up, I am social, I have very good friends, I am funny, I am way better, and sometimes I can’t believe how far I’ve got from the old me. I am very proud of myself on that. But I don’t have a lot of "life experience", with how I was so isolated before. I would say that I have three years of real "life experience". It felt like coming out of the fog or something.
Now, I am not someone that takes things at heart, or too personally. I like to think that I am pretty level headed. I never cried in front of my friends, except for something very serious or because we were watching a sad movie.
However, when I am alone or with my family, it is different. I just can’t help it, and I immediately cry when :
-I am embarrassed about myself - when I don’t have any great comeback when arguing - I am angry and the person I am arguing with doesn’t care and use it to make fun of me - when I think about something sad or someone going through intense emotional pain
But I never cry in public.
My close family is very different from me on this aspect, my parents are loving and supportive but they are not as sensitive.
The other day I argued with my father over lunch. It wasn’t because of something I did, he just got angry by himself and was being unfair and quite frankly ruining the meal, so I intervened. When he started jabbing at me, I left the table, because it was the end of the meal and my siblings already left. I was pissed, but didn’t want to cry. My father said "yeah right, go cry".
It’s not much. Worse things happens in life
(like when I had Cushing disease and nobody believed me until I went to the doctors alone lol)
But I got so angry. Because my little sister says the same thing when we argue. Because she never cry and I cry, well, often.
She doesn’t likes me. When I come home she never talks to me, seeing me makes her angry. She is the kind of pretty, very opinionated girl who would have bullied the hell out of me if we were in the same grade. We joked about this before. She is also f ing rude and probably hasn’t cried in years.
There have been instances of my dad and sister telling my that I act and behave childishly, my mother too. It’s true that I can be sometimes, but I am not childish about serious things, not about how I treat people, or live my life, or with my studies.
And besides why can’t I be childish with my FAMILY, in my own home, with my parents when I am literally their CHILD ? Like, I am the child that is "wise beyond its years" when I talk about serious things with my parents, when we talk about life and philosophy.
There is a big difference with how I act day-to-day with close family members, joyful and frankly dumb, and with how I am when it comes to serious subjects. And they get to see both of these sides of me, often. Which is why it hurts even more when they call me childish and they all agree with it.
I feel they don’t take me seriously, because I am the sensitive, cry easily artsy former-victim child. And I hate this. Because I can’t argue without crying, and when I don’t cry I don’t know how to respond and my arguments are weak. And I look pathetic. Even if we love each other very much and have healthy relationships.
I am sorry for the extensive rent, but i feel like it was needed so that you could give me some advice on how to be less sensitive, cry less and appear less childish, I guess, based on this context.
Sorry for over sharing, and for my English, it is not my first language
thanks you :D
submitted by Melted_Moon to Advice [link] [comments]
I am a 19F, and I am too sensitive and come across as childish, because of my personality. I cannot argue with someone close, like my family, without crying.
Long contextualisation here, sorry in advance. This is more of a vent post looking for advice.
I was the cliché weird girl, ugly, curly hair and glasses, with no friends and who didn’t understood what was going on half of the time. I got bullied in preschool and sometimes over the years. I am ashamed, but I got violent when people were mocking me, and when we argued, because I was sad and didn’t knew what to do. Still am today to some extent. I was very unhappy when in public and in school, borderline embarrassed of existing, hating myself, but it got way better as a teen.
I grew up, I am social, I have very good friends, I am funny, I am way better, and sometimes I can’t believe how far I’ve got from the old me. I am very proud of myself on that. But I don’t have a lot of "life experience", with how I was so isolated before. I would say that I have three years of real "life experience". It felt like coming out of the fog or something.
Now, I am not someone that takes things at heart, or too personally. I like to think that I am pretty level headed. I never cried in front of my friends, except for something very serious or because we were watching a sad movie.
However, when I am alone or with my family, it is different. I just can’t help it, and I immediately cry when :
-I am embarrassed about myself - when I don’t have any great comeback when arguing - I am angry and the person I am arguing with doesn’t care and use it to make fun of me - when I think about something sad or someone going through intense emotional pain
But I never cry in public.
My close family is very different from me on this aspect, my parents are loving and supportive but they are not as sensitive.
The other day I argued with my father over lunch. It wasn’t because of something I did, he just got angry by himself and was being unfair and quite frankly ruining the meal, so I intervened. When he started jabbing at me, I left the table, because it was the end of the meal and my siblings already left. I was pissed, but didn’t want to cry. My father said "yeah right, go cry".
It’s not much. Worse things happens in life
(like when I had Cushing disease and nobody believed me until I went to the doctors alone lol)
But I got so angry. Because my little sister says the same thing when we argue. Because she never cry and I cry, well, often.
She doesn’t likes me. When I come home she never talks to me, seeing me makes her angry. She is the kind of pretty, very opinionated girl who would have bullied the hell out of me if we were in the same grade. We joked about this before. She is also f ing rude and probably hasn’t cried in years.
There have been instances of my dad and sister telling my that I act and behave childishly, my mother too. It’s true that I can be sometimes, but I am not childish about serious things, not about how I treat people, or live my life, or with my studies.
And besides why can’t I be childish with my FAMILY, in my own home, with my parents when I am literally their CHILD ? Like, I am the child that is "wise beyond its years" when I talk about serious things with my parents, when we talk about life and philosophy.
There is a big difference with how I act day-to-day with close family members, joyful and frankly dumb, and with how I am when it comes to serious subjects. And they get to see both of these sides of me, often. Which is why it hurts even more when they call me childish and they all agree with it.
I feel they don’t take me seriously, because I am the sensitive, cry easily artsy former-victim child. And I hate this. Because I can’t argue without crying, and when I don’t cry I don’t know how to respond and my arguments are weak. And I look pathetic. Even if we love each other very much and have healthy relationships.
I am sorry for the extensive rent, but i feel like it was needed so that you could give me some advice on how to be less sensitive, cry less and appear less childish, I guess, based on this context.
Sorry for over sharing, and for my English, it is not my first language
thanks you :D
2024.05.22 00:53 Main_Tax7542 My (20M) exgf (20F) is coming to pick up mail, I want to fix things still. What is the most mature way to handle this?
My(I am 20M and she is 20F) ex girlfriend is coming to my place to pick up some mail concerning things from the government because she doesn’t have an address in the US that she can use for mail at the moment. I don’t mind letting her use it. We were together for 2 years.
To sum up our relationship, amazing first year and was perfect especially with senior year of highschool in the middle of it, afterwards I developed really selfish and narcissistic tendencies and I hurt her by making her feel unimportant. I know what I did and I want to be how I was in the beginning again. But anyways, after that, two months ago we broke up. She checked in on me and we had a couple stays together, slept together, and I thought I could fix things but she told me she didn’t want me to be there for her, she wants to be herself and be independent, and she doesn’t want me to be there except for our cat-child that I raised with her towards the end of our relationship.
Now after all that i see she’s getting important mail and I never got to tell her that I’m going to change and that I realized I was selfish and a narcissistic asshole. I want to say that I will be the person I was before because I know that’s who I am truly inside.
As for why i became that way, I prioritized a career over her and I also let my ex girl best friend (my age) know way too much about our relationship and I talked to her too fluently. I’ve erased those things from my life realizing just how important she was and I’m going to keep it that way no matter what.
With the last interactions me and this girl had, the last two visits I feel like I showed profoundly that I wanted to fix things because she’s extremely precious to me and she herself told me I was doing really well, and then she hit me with that “I don’t want a relationship.” “I can’t be in a relationship with you.” She named reasons like I don’t actually miss her, just her presence, I just want the old version of her, saying that I somewhere said I can’t be as good as I was for her in the beginning..
All things I’m not sure were accurate at all but I understand that her experience with me is entirely influential about how she thinks I feel.
To get back to the point, she’s coming to see me for a split second for the mail, I’ve been in no contact for 2weeks and had to break it for this, but I want to do something.
As foolish as it sounds and my friends told me I shouldn’t but I want to get her a gift, some flowers, and I have letters I want to give her and give her the freedom of taking and reading them if she wants to, letters about my reflection of my mistakes and how much I want her back, what I want to change and etc. Things of that nature. And of course say things about my narcissism and that I’m working on it. She told me she misses the old me and I know that’s who I really am, I’d do anything to show her that. I was a selfless lover who truly loved her and I regret everything.
Should I give that to her? To clarify, I really don’t want anything from her at all. If anything it’s just an act of affection for damn near no reason and then the letters I hope she reads and understands that I want to change, whether she reconsiders the relationship or not. I’m going to keep no contact afterwards anyway..
But I’m on the fence about it because while I don’t think she’ll take it as a broken boundary, and I’m scared that she might just be waiting for me to show signs of change or effort or anything. I’m scared doing NOTHING is actually the wrong choice.
Any advice at all is appreciated. I really want things to work out with her, the problems in our relationship are being worked on, on my end and I’m taking responsibility for everything that happened, but I still want to make logical and respectful decisions. I just feel like this risk is worth it, I believe having loved over not loving at all is greater than not loving given the opportunity to..
Sorry for the Yapping session.
(P.S I’ve realized I get immature in these situations and I’m getting advice here to make sure I do the right thing because I want that to change too.)
submitted by Main_Tax7542 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
To sum up our relationship, amazing first year and was perfect especially with senior year of highschool in the middle of it, afterwards I developed really selfish and narcissistic tendencies and I hurt her by making her feel unimportant. I know what I did and I want to be how I was in the beginning again. But anyways, after that, two months ago we broke up. She checked in on me and we had a couple stays together, slept together, and I thought I could fix things but she told me she didn’t want me to be there for her, she wants to be herself and be independent, and she doesn’t want me to be there except for our cat-child that I raised with her towards the end of our relationship.
Now after all that i see she’s getting important mail and I never got to tell her that I’m going to change and that I realized I was selfish and a narcissistic asshole. I want to say that I will be the person I was before because I know that’s who I am truly inside.
As for why i became that way, I prioritized a career over her and I also let my ex girl best friend (my age) know way too much about our relationship and I talked to her too fluently. I’ve erased those things from my life realizing just how important she was and I’m going to keep it that way no matter what.
With the last interactions me and this girl had, the last two visits I feel like I showed profoundly that I wanted to fix things because she’s extremely precious to me and she herself told me I was doing really well, and then she hit me with that “I don’t want a relationship.” “I can’t be in a relationship with you.” She named reasons like I don’t actually miss her, just her presence, I just want the old version of her, saying that I somewhere said I can’t be as good as I was for her in the beginning..
All things I’m not sure were accurate at all but I understand that her experience with me is entirely influential about how she thinks I feel.
To get back to the point, she’s coming to see me for a split second for the mail, I’ve been in no contact for 2weeks and had to break it for this, but I want to do something.
As foolish as it sounds and my friends told me I shouldn’t but I want to get her a gift, some flowers, and I have letters I want to give her and give her the freedom of taking and reading them if she wants to, letters about my reflection of my mistakes and how much I want her back, what I want to change and etc. Things of that nature. And of course say things about my narcissism and that I’m working on it. She told me she misses the old me and I know that’s who I really am, I’d do anything to show her that. I was a selfless lover who truly loved her and I regret everything.
Should I give that to her? To clarify, I really don’t want anything from her at all. If anything it’s just an act of affection for damn near no reason and then the letters I hope she reads and understands that I want to change, whether she reconsiders the relationship or not. I’m going to keep no contact afterwards anyway..
But I’m on the fence about it because while I don’t think she’ll take it as a broken boundary, and I’m scared that she might just be waiting for me to show signs of change or effort or anything. I’m scared doing NOTHING is actually the wrong choice.
Any advice at all is appreciated. I really want things to work out with her, the problems in our relationship are being worked on, on my end and I’m taking responsibility for everything that happened, but I still want to make logical and respectful decisions. I just feel like this risk is worth it, I believe having loved over not loving at all is greater than not loving given the opportunity to..
Sorry for the Yapping session.
(P.S I’ve realized I get immature in these situations and I’m getting advice here to make sure I do the right thing because I want that to change too.)
2024.05.22 00:44 Cxddlxs_xoxo what does a referral letter for HRT need?
hello! im not sure where to ask so i thought this could be a good place.
i am a 16 year old trans girl, going to a clinic on thursday, and they can start me on estrogen. i have been on blockers for 2 years. the clinic said they wanted a referral letter from my therapist about this. im just unsure of what needs to be said in the letter. thank you in advance 🫶
submitted by Cxddlxs_xoxo to lgbt [link] [comments]
i am a 16 year old trans girl, going to a clinic on thursday, and they can start me on estrogen. i have been on blockers for 2 years. the clinic said they wanted a referral letter from my therapist about this. im just unsure of what needs to be said in the letter. thank you in advance 🫶
2024.05.22 00:42 Embarrassed_Spirit55 B.Sc. CS universities
Hello, I am looking for B.Sc. in Computer Science and 3 universities in Germany caught my eye - Technische Hochschule Ingolstadt (THI), Technische Hochschule Ulm (THU) and Universität des Saarlandes; their programs looks well structured but also are in English (my German is not better than B1). For now my favorite is Saarland Uni because of curriculum, fees and costs of living and the atmosphere at all. I am looking for CS because of the solid base it provides and I want to specialize in Cybersecurity later. As background I have STEM degree (C#, SQL, HTML, CSS and JS)
I have some questions about them. Firstly, if someone of you has attended any of these programs, what is your opinion of the quality of education - do the staff care about their subjects or they are doing the bare minimum teaching old techniques like the universities in my country (Bulgaria, EU) etc. Also what are the main advantages of that university?
Secondly, what is the atmosphere in these cities, do the people speak English, are they friendly. And can I find good job where I do not have to speak in German too much (mainly in English)? What is the average salary?
About about the living - how hard is to find not too much expensive apartment (below €1000 month rent) near the university and approximately what is the cost of living every month (how much should I spend for base needs like food, public transport, mobile operator etc. every month)?
Thank you a lot!
submitted by Embarrassed_Spirit55 to germany [link] [comments]
I have some questions about them. Firstly, if someone of you has attended any of these programs, what is your opinion of the quality of education - do the staff care about their subjects or they are doing the bare minimum teaching old techniques like the universities in my country (Bulgaria, EU) etc. Also what are the main advantages of that university?
Secondly, what is the atmosphere in these cities, do the people speak English, are they friendly. And can I find good job where I do not have to speak in German too much (mainly in English)? What is the average salary?
About about the living - how hard is to find not too much expensive apartment (below €1000 month rent) near the university and approximately what is the cost of living every month (how much should I spend for base needs like food, public transport, mobile operator etc. every month)?
Thank you a lot!