Things were done to me, things I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemy (I dont have any but you get the point) Things these Muslim did which I would rather not say here but I definitly realized one thing.
Islam is nothing more then a license to kill people, assault, rape people
It literally says in quran multiple times to kill the non belivers or to release them if they pay zakat and go to the 'right path'
Some very intressting quote from the 'peaceful religion's book'
Surah 47 Verse 7
So when you meet the disbelievers ˹in battle˺, strike ˹their˺ necks
Surah 4 Verse 89
They wish you would disbelieve as they have disbelieved, so you may all be alike. So do not take them as allies unless they emigrate in the cause of Allah. But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them, and do not take any of them as allies or helpers,
Surah 5 Verse 33
Indeed, the penalty for those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and spread mischief in the land is death, crucifixion, cutting off their hands and feet on opposite sides, or exile from the land.

These are just some of alot of such disgusting & brutal quotes from a ' peaceful religious book', this Religion is nothing more then a joke, filled with lies to just kill & torture people who raise questions and instead of answering their question, they get their necks choppd of
necks being choppd off reminded me of my older posts and how I got some Muslim boys angry that literally gave me death threats... These people just use Islam to kill, let it be animals at eid ul adha or humans that dont share the same believes as them, Islam is just a reason to kill & hurt others.
Nothing but Terrorists

Going through heartbreak during exam season is genuinely one of the worst possible experiences. Impossible to concentrate and focus. Get doubly fcked with the breakup and academic results too. I wouldn't mix exam season and heartbreak even on my worst enemy.

I don’t know if you’re supposed to share the losses in this thread or not because all I see are a bunch of people who are crushing it. I find it motivating but I can’t help thinking that my time to shine will never come.
I have started this weight loss journey almost since I can remember. I was always big. Even in my baby pics I looked heavy. I looked alright when I was in high school and then in college but ever since I started working full time I just blew up like a balloon. I gained almost 72 pounds in 4 years.
I am now around 130 kgs/286 lbs ( I am 5’11). I need to lose 127 pounds to be ideal weight. That is almost an entire person!!!
I started this journey so many times but I keep failing. I can point fingers towards a lot of impediments and problems but deep inside I know it’s because I don’t really have a lot of self control/will power. I can’t follow through. I have paid for gym memberships I haven’t used for even a single day. I have subscribed to healthy food providing services and ate a whole lot of junk food along with it every single day. It feels like I am my own worst enemy.
A whole lot of shit comes with being fat/unhealthy. You do worse at your job because you don’t have energy to compete, you lose your friends because you don’t have the energy to go out and spend time, you lose the people you date because you are so insecure and even if you aren’t they can’t bear to watch you drown yourself like this. Food can be as dangerous as other addictions.
I have hypertension and sleep apnea and I am afraid if I do the right tests I will find out I have diabetes or even heart problems. I’m scared to face the truth.
I am on the verge of losing everything that makes life beautiful and I am desperate for help. Is there anything at all I can try that I haven’t tried before. I really really want to follow through right now. No matter what it takes or costs.
I don’t want to let down myself or the people around me anymore. I want to go back to being a happy person someday again.

Hello,

TL;DR section with actual questions below.

I am aware of rule 7, so that there should be no duplicates. This comparison was asked few times already, but most (not all) of the questions were clueless, since they only asked who should they pull, regardless of the character skills/roles.
I have single copy (epic) of both of them and I am not totally sure about who of them should I prioritize. I am aware of some of their strengths, but I got these characters just recently and still finding proper situations to use them.
I am aware, that they have different roles (although to some extent, they are both supports - Scarlita for first 15 seconds).
I also haven't yet reached Abyss.
If I miss something in my opinion, then please correct me. I might be overlooking a critical benefit of one of the characters.
...
(you can skip my summarization, though)

My opinion on Reinier

I am aware, that investment into Reinier will significantly help me with Dream Realm and he is totally awesome for offense in PvP (using Enlightening spell - you can drag out critical enemy without swapping your character and generally fight 5v4).
But while he might help you with a difficult specific stage or enemy, he feels very cumbersome, since the lineup is not always the same and he may actually not do anything, if you go on auto-battle mode. Not sure if he is even able to give the ally Legendary+ ATK boost, when no swap is triggered.
So as far as I am concerned, he is Dream Realm king (25% damage taken to boss + extra sustain for a specific character) and exceptionally strategic character for arena offense. Not to mention, that his utimate spell makes the fight eventually 5v3, which obviously is very bad situation for enemy.

My opinion on Scarlita

While Reinier seems not to be a good fit for auto-battling, Scarlita seems like a perfect choice.. since if any of your characters die early (tank especially) you are usually dead.. Scarlita prevents this by adding a shield to the allies, which need it the most. So she allows tank to survive longer, so tank may activate some of its skills to be capable surviving on his own. At S+, she also give these allies pretty decent defense.
So when Scarlita made sure, that the early fight went well and tank's survival is established, she then comes to battlefield to finish, what is left undone. Providing heavy crowd control and dealing true damage. She also executes enemies under 20% health (but up to 25%) - somewhat similar to Odie, if I am correct.
....................................................................................

TL;DR

Questions

...while Reinier is obviously powerful for offense in Arena with Enlightening spell..
Is there some viability to use Reinier in DEFENSE arena team? (how?) I am slightlly worried about it. Worst case scenario I can come up with would be, that he will teleport enemy S+ Grannie Dahnie to me. Which would cause HUGE problems, especially if enemy has Scarlita and Hewynn too.
Also even for offense with Reinier some enemies are already aware of this possibility, so they put tanks behind their DPS characters and Arena map 5 may limit quite a lot. My core damage unit is Supreme (without +) Carolina, so she should be able to deal with tanks (except Thoran and Grannie).
Does Reinier deal some damage at higher rarity, or is his damage laughable compared to carries like Carolina, Odie, Florabelle and Cecia?
How to protect myself from Reinier attacks in my Arena defense team?
As I already said, map 5 may provide some advantage, but I haven't tested that out, but I think I will figure it out eventually, how to place units, since I can always peek into enemy configuration and check, what he is capable and what he cannot do.
What happens if I will only use two columns in my arena defense and the last in these columns will be Damian and Scarlita?
Will Reinier just pull the toy chariot or the unit before Damian?
Will Reinier just fail to do his job at all, when doing his swap against Scarlita or he swaps the targer before her?
...
Concerning Scarlita for PvP, I have very little doubts about her consistency and efficiency. She seems to be an ideal pick for arena defense especially.
At most I wonder, how she compares to Koko in overall arena performance..?
...
I do not seem to have any further questions. But I might be missing some informations, so if you fill me in, I would be really glad.
As for the Abyss, I have not many informations, so I only expect it to be a very hard strategical challenge. Scarlita seems to be ranked better than Reinier for it and I am already building Grannie Dahnie (I am somehow not a big fan of Thoran even though I have him on wishlish, because he is a must for King Croaker and he amplifies team damage - maybe because so many people claim, that he is the best tank, but then I see so many AFK challenge proxy battle and their only invested tank Thoran simply cannot hold the line, where Antandra would have no problems).
So yes, basically I have last question.
Reinier will certainly help me getting more Dream Realm currency, but if Scarlita is stronger in Abyss.. does not she actually help me get more ex-weapon currency?

Thanks for reading and possible feedback!

pen is such a strong tiny little bean ≧ ﹏ ≦ yea she has done few things bad but after all she is a sweet little girl from inside. i feel so much for her. she has made a name for herself at such a young age without strong family bg. she is so strong and confident. i can't even imagine how difficult must it have been to take such a decision and put yourself in the crowd after all the worst things that happened to her. reinventing yourself and going at ball even after rumors and that too when your friend is your enemy. facing rumors, ironic remarks and rejections all alone is not easy. she is a lone wolf. she might be in her 20s but in the end she is still young girl from inside. she has already been through so much. im so happy that colin stood with her when everyone was despising her. i want her to be loved. she deserves all the happiness in the world ＞﹏＜
https://preview.redd.it/oohmck5qxr1d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=93aacc8ccdafd7dd91c2ca29a56f639f17964391

I'm 19, weigh 88kg, and am on the skinny side (but not too skinny, just a standard physique).
My current workout schedule/routine/diet is as follows:
Mon - Wed - Fri:
x4S x12R overhear press (dumbbells)
x4S x10R lateral side raises
x4S x12R bicep curls (dumbbells)
x3S x12R standard push-ups
Tue - Thu:
I try to get in a 2km run (only just started running, and shin splints are my worst enemy right now) at least 2 days a week as I'm trying to get a leaner physique and have heard including cardio is good for this?
As for my diet, I eat quite healthy. I have oats every morning with a banana and apple. Lunches are usually tuna pasta or chicken and rice. Dinners are whatever the mothefather cooks up. And then I usually snack on nuts or other fruit throughout the day. I think I need to add more protein in here somewhere, so I was thinking of getting protein powder and including it in my breakfast with the oats perhaps?
I'd really appreciate if you have any tips for a newbie. All the best

I'm 19, weigh 88kg, and am on the skinny side (but not too skinny, just a standard physique).
My current workout schedule/routine/diet is as follows:
Mon - Wed - Fri:
x4S x12R overhear press (dumbbells)
x4S x10R lateral side raises
x4S x12R bicep curls (dumbbells)
x3S x12R standard push-ups
Tue - Thu:
I try to get in a 2km run (only just started running, and shin splints are my worst enemy right now) at least 2 days a week as I'm trying to get a leaner physique and have heard including cardio is good for this?
As for my diet, I eat quite healthy. I have oats every morning with a banana and apple. Lunches are usually tuna pasta or chicken and rice. Dinners are whatever the mothefather cooks up. And then I usually snack on nuts or other fruit throughout the day. I think I need to add more protein in here somewhere, so I was thinking of getting protein powder and including it in my breakfast with the oats perhaps?
I'd really appreciate if you have any tips for a newbie. All the best

On may 9th I started to have to go to the washroom more frequently I noticed that I had to go roughly every hour… I started feeling back pain on my right side more of a pressure pain. I initially thought I may be getting a kidney stone and boy was I wrong! I’m going to tell you guys my experience and how crazy this has been… here’s a little context. I am currently going through a divorce (which was my own doing), financially I am tight as I have to uphold two mortgages one being my own and other being portion of a rental property I own. However the rental property is not a positive cash flow atm due to high interest rates. A lot has happened in May. I had to buy a new dryer as my drying machine just went, also a new microwave (over stove). I work in sales and with high interest everyone is so tight with money and people aren’t spending nearly as much as they were a year ago. I could go on about more but no need. So may 9th it began, all day that day I had to constantly go to washroom almost every hour, I smoked some weed and went to bed. That night I ended up wetting myself a little overnight (this was a first) I panicked and snapped out of it however the next few days I would continue to have back pain and constantly peeing, unfortunately I started doing some google reading on this and I had pre determined myself that maybe I had a kidney stone and just needed to drink more fluids and try to get better. It went on until Wednesday may 15th at this stage my lower back pain had increased and I started noticing pain in my abdomen area also. I went to doctors and did some sampling. They found microscopic blood in my urine but weren’t sure what it could be and sent it in for further testing on top of that in Canada the long weekend was coming which typically means you won’t get lab results until mid next week (this week). Now this continued as I was freaking out about blood in my urine and more googling which made things worse… Friday May 17th comes around. At this stage I was extremely worried and was going to washroom every 30 mins until night time. Night time was horrible (I don’t wish this on my worst enemy) at night time while trying to go to sleep I started to go to washroom every 5-10mins and shortly after around 1AM Saturday I couldn’t get off toilet the back pain had increased and abdomen pain had increased. It left like my bladder was just squeezing everything out! I panicked further! I spiralled and broke down, I went to the hospital. Once I got to hospital and told them my symptoms they believed I was passing a kidney stone but they wanted to confirm and do a CT scan, blood work, and a urine sample. Few hours later my results were in… everything was fine. The doctor said he was not sure exactly what was happening but thinks I have something called “interstitial cystitis” however said I should speak to my family doctor and see a urologist. This is where I started doing more research as I couldn’t take going to washroom so much… I came across urinary frequency and one of the causes was anxiety and stress… I’ve always told my self that I have never had anxiety and never have experienced it. On google I came across a Reddit and it was someone who has experienced similar things and it turned out to be just anxiety. Currently as I am typing this I am improving quite a bit I no longer have to go every 5-10 mins. I go roughly every 2 hours. I am still in recovery as I do have moments where I need to go within 20 mins of just going to the washroom. However I have not taken any medicine I have slowly learned to accept things and get better and this has helped a lot with my anxiety. I have learned that somethings I cannot control but everything will be ok. I started to keep busy (deep clean the house, do all laundry, cooking, lawn work) and that really helped grounding me. Also one thing that helped me is start to relieving some weight. I’ve had weight on my shoulders about leaving my wife so I apologized to her last night saying that I am sorry for making her feel like her world is getting destroyed as we have a child which we will have to share custody. I also am writing this to get better. Please know guys if you are going through this it will all be ok! You have to overcome what is bothering you and accept it. The mind is very powerful, we can make ourselves sick even when we aren’t. I’m sure this isn’t my last time with this but I hope my experience helps you! And know you will be ok.

Lately, both in person and on this sub, I have seen a worrying amount of misinformation spreading about the political party Aon Tu. This misinformation either states that they are a left/liberal party or that they are not right/conservative. This is however clearly wrong as any amount of inspection of their statements and social media makes clear; any clear dive into their policies and statements make it clear that they are instead very right wing, if not far right. They use the many familiar terms associated with similar parties, hold the same stances, and even retweet them and their content.
In order to illustrate this below I am presenting the various tweets made by Peadar Tóibín (the current leader of the party, their founder, and currently sole elected official) as well as their official twitter account. I have limited it solely to tweets due to time and space constraints, I have also had to limit the amount of tweets due to the same constraints There is more and I strongly encourage anyway to check their accounts for themselves. If there is interest I can do a deep dive into their other socials and statements, however I do not think there is a way to access the backlog of debates they have had on RTE and radio unfortunately. I believe this thread will stand on it's own however and other such threads won't be needed.
I will present the below tweets without comment, sorting them only into sections for ease of reading. Some may contain a note below in order to give more context as to what the tweet is referencing. The one section I did not include was the various tweets on the referendum, this is because due to recency I did not think it was needed.
Edit: Fixed some formatting errors below that escaped notice when first posting, as well as one entry being under the wrong heading.
Vaccine Denial:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 12/07/2021

Aontú opposes vaccine Passports for indoor Hospitality.
Its discrimination against many people mostly the young.
Its mandatory vaccination through the back door.
Again the Irish Gov is alone in the whole of Europe in the extreme path it's taking.

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/10/2021

99.7% of the adult population in Waterford is fully vaccinated, yet it has one of the highest Covid-19 incidence rates in the country.
The truth is the Gov don't know why this is happening.
Now they will refuse entry to pubs to 0.3% unvaccinated to see does that work. #NPHET

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/01/2022

No, it's not April Fools day.
That people being paid by the state are actually discussing this is incredible.
FF/FG/Greens need to knock this madness on the head ASAP.

Note: Linked news article can be found here; Nphet to consider mandatory vaccination, department preparing paper on legal and ethical aspects
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/10/2022

I have submitted this question;
To ask the Minister for Health, has he or his department ever received any data, evidence or information from Pfizer that indicates that that the Pfizer Covid Vaccine was ever tested in terms of its ability to stop the transmission of Covid?

Anti Covid Lockdown:
Tweeted by Toibin; 15/11/2020

480 people got Cancer today.
24 people died of Cancer today
27 people died of Heart Disease and Stroke today.
This will hardly get a mention in the media today.
#COVID19

Tweeted by Toibin; 13/05/2021

8 deaths related to Covid were reported yesterday.
We share our deepest sympathies with these families.
The manner in which Covid deaths are being reported is concerning.
They were all from March or earlier.
Reporting them yesterday gives people a false impression of risk.

Tweeted by Toibin; 26/05/2021

The majority of people who died from Covid caught Covid in a Nursing Home or a Hospital.
So while the whole country was shut closed most people died in locations that were run by or regulated by the government.
This is an incredible situation.

Note: A video is attached.
Tweeted by Toibin; 05/06/2021

All the the people with Covid in Hospital in Ireland would fit on 1 Double Decker Bus.
Yet people were baton charged in Dublin last night and
Pubs and Restaurants wont open indoors for another month.
#ItsTimeForCommonSense #OpenHospitality #southwilliamst #Aontú

Tweeted by Toibin; 14/07/2021

The Government's Hospitality Discrimination Bill has passed all stages in the Dáil after only a few hours of debate.
It will be now legal to discriminate against certain Irish citizens.
A sad day for Ireland.

Note: The bill which has a picture taken of it in the tweet can be read here.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 30/10/2021

Some citizens are allowed into pubs.
Some citizens are not.
It's stunning that this has happened in the 21st century.
It's stunning that so much of society has just accepted it.
Worst of all, it's not even working.

Tweeted by Toibin; 24/11/2021

I have recieved information that the Goverment,
has carried out NO scientific research into the effectiveness or otherwise of the Covid Pass.
At all.
#FollowTheScience #TheySaid

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/12/2021

Are the Gov going to say that a healthy young person thats triple vaccinated along with their Covid Pass can't have a pint after 5pm.
What's the point of it all so?

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/01/2022

Very interesting to see Nphet and the Dept of Health go from researching Mandatory Vaccines to lifting restrictions in 10 days!

Anti LGBT:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/10/2022

Women live in period poverty just a few miles from the Dáil.
Instead of helping them,
your virtual signalling political establishment
put a tampon machine in the men's toilet in the Dáil.

Tweeted by Toibin; 16/02/2023

Plans by FF, FG & Greens to change the law to allow 16 year olds to legally change gender, against advice of medical experts,
shows how completely alienated the political bubble is from the people of Ireland.
Aontú will oppose this and seek a return to commonsense and science.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 05/03/2023

When Minister O Gorman refused redress to many who had been in Mother and Baby Homes because of the 'lack of money', he raided hundreds of thousands from the Magdalene Scheme and Travellers supports & diverted the funding towards the LGBTQ+ Community.

Note: There is an article linked in the tweet, about an accusation made by Toibin. Read it here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 06/03/2023

Varadkar is wrong. 9 &10 year old children are too young to be taught about transgenderism. We have a duty of care to children.
No research has been has been carried out on the impact of such education.

Tweeted by Toibin; 07/03/2023

I've asked the Minister for Ed what research has the Dept of Education carried out
on the impact on primary school children of delivering material on Transgenderism to them in the classroom?
We've a duty of care to children.
Education should be based on evidence not ideology.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 08/03/2023

Tóibín asked Varadkar if his Gov had carried out any research as to the impact on 8 & 9 year old children of teaching about transgenderism in primary school.
Leo refused to answer the question.
Radical changes are being introduced against majority consent.

Note: There is an attached video.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/03/2023

Many people have been shocked by Paul Murphy's announcement.
But what's more shocking is that FF, FG, SF and the Greens,
are on exactly the same page as the hard left parties on teaching this ideology in every primary school in the country.

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/05/2023

This is incredible. All the actual crime that is happening on our streets and Gardaí are wasting time like this.
Even though there was no arrest here, this harassment creates a clear chilling effect on free speech and political discourse.

Note: There is an attached video in the tweet retweeted by Toibin, in it a Gardai is holding a polite conversation with an American holding a sign against "Gender Ideology." In their Twitter bio they describe themselves; "Father of two girls. Traveling the world to expose gender ideology and why children cannot consent to medical transition."
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 07/07/2023

Growing concern among parents that the new curriculum for 12 & 13 years in school is not age appropriate & is not science based.
Gender identity ideology is now mandatory for schools & thousands of parents will have no option but to withdraw their child from class.

Note: This article is linked on the topic of a statement made by Toibin.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 23/07/2023

This is why so many are angry with the Minister for Culture Wars, Helen McEntee.
Homicides are up, murder attempts are up, rape & sexual assaults are up, theft is up. Yet....
Gardaí management are focused on allowing male born Gardaí use women’s toilets.

Note: There is an attached article; here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 28/09/2023

The Green Party are becoming increasingly authoritarian in nature.
If you dissent from government sanctioned views, you will be investigated.
This is the opposite of a liberal democracy.

Note: There is a linked article; it pertains to an investigation by the IABA into the usage of their premises by a "Christian Group" advocating for the removal of all LGBT+ content from the SPHE curriculum.
Tweeted by Toibin; 14/03/2024

It is reckless beyond belief to give dangerous chemicals and irreversible surgery to children with gender dysphoria.
This must be made illegal in Ireland immediately.

Note: Includes a retweet of this news article.
Anti Hatespeech bill:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/06/2023

Helen McEntee has become the Minister for Culture Wars.
Incredibly Varadkar accused PBP of being a threat to Free Speech.
FG, FF & the Greens are the biggest threat to free speech.

Note: There is a link article here.
Tweeted by Toibin; 26/07/2023

US gives Dublin a security warning for US citizens travelling to Ireland.
Meanwhile Minister McEntee is too busy with the Hate Speech Bill and Safe Zone Bill to worry about real people suffering actual crime.

Tweeted by Toibin; 28/03/2024

Helen McEntee is distracted by the Culture Wars.
People just want her to do her job, & make the streets safer.
Instead, she spent the last two years on a Hate Crime Bill no one wants. #BinTheBill

Note: There is an attached video.
Other:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/02/2023

In the Dáil yesterday the hard left tried to close down a discussion on migration by calling people names.
This issue is too important. People have a right to respectfully ask questions and challange government policy.

Note: There is an attached video; it does not depict such name calling but rather Toibin accusing the government of name calling.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/07/2023

Another day and another culture war imported by the government from America.

Note: A retweet from Gript media with an attached video.
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/03/2024

There is a battle over the narrative of the referendum defeat happening at the moment.
Some within the political & media bubble want to erase the fact that so many people have had enough of the culture wars and want the country to get back to commonsense and bread and butter.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 19/03/2024

At a Dept of Education 'In Service' day,
their staff told secondary school teachers not to use the word 'Mother' in class as they said it was not inclusive.
They are implementing Gov policy.
Aontú disagrees wholeheartedly with this policy.
Happy Mothers Day.

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/04/2024

Says the man who seeks to delete more Irish sovereignty with the EU migration pact.

Note: A retweet from Simon Harris talking about the need to defend Ukraine's sovereignty.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 11/04/2024

The decision by FG, FF and Green MEPs to cede the power to control immigration into Ireland to Brussels was a serious mistake. Aontú oppose this pact and will fight to retain and regain sovereignty in Europe #aontú

These are SOOO overrated it’s funny!
I mean, after using the 500 KG, it doesn’t kill mass swarms of enemies! I mean, are you serious! If I’m going to bring a stratagem that specifically kills heavies and nothing else, then why is it bad against mass swarms! It’s unbelievable
Then the EMS Mortar! The damage is atrocious! It shot a simple marauder 6 times. 6 times! I had to go over and shoot it myself. If I’m bringing a utility sentry, it should do damage, not just stun them!
Then the worst one OF THEM ALL!!!
The Autocannon.
This thing can’t kill Bile Titans. If I want a support weapon, it should be able to fill every niche and do everything, kill every single enemy. This one doesn’t. It also requires a backpack slot
So to reiterate, the Autocannon, EMS Mortar, and the 500 KG are trash because they can’t do everything I want them to do at all times! It’s pathetic!!!

How many times have you won money and have just threw it back in after boredom or loneliness gets the best out of you?
Every single penny you win will be thrown just back in along with your own hard earned money.
I know people around me, including myself who have been up very big. I am talking about 6 digits here and the same people i know, including myself have just thrown it all back in. There's no controlling gambling, i don't think such a thing is possible.
I remember the first time i was up €10.000, i withdrew €8.000 and was fine spending €2.000.
Losing the €2.000 made me immediately cancel the €8.000 withdrawal that was going on.
''Suddenly'' your brain tells you that it's fine too withdraw €5.000 and ''just play'' with the €3.000 (in the hopes of making it back).
Guess what happens after you lose that €3.000? You cancel the €5.000 withdrawal that once was at €8.000.
At this point you don't care anymore and you will lose. And after that your own money sitting at your bank will just dissapear like snow in the sun.
If there's one thing i don't wish upon even my worst enemy, it's gambling. It will fuck you up in every possible way.

‼️TW (CP, CSA, DA, DV, EA, ED, PA, RA, SA, SH, SI, WC)‼️
Sorry I know that’s a lot of TW’s there’s just brief mention of some of this stuff so I don’t wanna catch anyone off guard.
This is also a bit of a vent post.
I have absolutely no idea what I have, I had no idea I could potentially have a personality disorder until a few months ago, I am not meaning to rely on social media for help, though where I’m from there is such a lack in psychiatrists in my area so I feel stuck/lost. I will be venting/explaining my situation in full, I just would like to hear thoughts and opinions, I’m not trying to say I have anything specific, but the different personalities have made themselves apparent over the past 5 months. Whether it’s OSDD, BPD, DID, i don’t know.
There’s so much that I don’t really know where to start, so I guess I’ll just start with when I realized something wasn’t right. (TMI) I was having an intimate moment with my partner, it’s a long distance relationship (new relationship((known each other for about 6-7 months now)) so it was an over the phone moment. (FaceTime). I’ve had issues in the past because of sexual trauma, where immediately after sex/intimate moments i get sent into a huge derealization/panic attack due to feeling vulnerable. Now at this point, i haven’t had sex in about 4 years, and any time prior, it always ended in panic attacks. Me being vulnerable over the phone is not entirely new, but the level of vulnerability in the sense of allowing myself to fully enjoy it, that was new. I started hyperventilating, I couldn’t talk, I was crying, I was fighting with a blanket trying to cover myself all while my partner was trying to console me. I wasn’t really fully there and before this moment, any show of mania, dissociation, stuff like that, it went unnoticed. During this panic attack, I was absolutely in distress at one moment, and all of the sudden, I felt a shift. I didn’t really understand it when it happened but all of the sudden I stopped crying, the pain was still there but it wasn’t present, it felt deeper inside. It felt very different; I felt very different. All I could think and feel in that moment was this protectiveness and thought process of “I need to clean up everything before she comes back.” Now at the time I wasn’t thinking she, but I knew it was before something. Before a feeling came back was more how it resonated at the time before I could understand it better. Anyways, my whole persona shifted and I went into clean up mode and I was very confused. I felt “her” crying inside. My partner works in mental health, so he danced around delicately as I asked him questions about what he thought was going on so I could get a better picture of what I’m going through since everything felt so blinded. At one point, I just asked him. “Do you think I’m manic?” Which was the only question he responded to confidently. “Yes”. At that point, like this may seem so over exaggerated but it seriously felt like the curtains on my whole life, everything, had been pulled back and I could see myself and my actions for what they were. I saw every manic moment as mania rather than just the original gaslighting myself for my very real and terrifying experiences. After that, I was aware of me being manic for the first time and I haven’t felt such fear in a long time. I mean I don’t think I’ve ever felt fear like that before but like the level of intensity was very hard to deal with. I was terrified. I was finally seeing my hyper vigilance as hyper vigilance. I was seeing the symptoms clearly, my excessive sweating, my depleted eating habits, my sleep schedule insanely messed up. Which all before this, just seemed like “my life”. I started doing research, and I ended up needing to write something down. I can’t remember what it was but I will find it and add it.
“I’ve been doing a lot of research and thinking a lot, there’s been a lot of confusion with my identity or identities. I also need to preface that my entire life whenever I expressed how I felt, I was instead told what to do and how to feel. I know this is going to sound concerning, and people will be quick to dismiss it in an attempt to be supportive. But please just allow it to be what it is. Growing up I was always in great distress, constantly. My head was absolutely filled to the brim with worried and fears and as the years went on it only got worse. I’m highschool I transitioned into Blake; I thought it “felt” like me, but after research and certain situations/symptoms since delving back into that, I realized this was a traumatic disorder, even though I don’t know which one. Blakes feelings were 100% valid, but that’s because they were Blakes. What caused the de-transition was this. Beginning of highschool I was in crisis and distress, my brain created another personality to keep lily safe and keep her locked away. Since then I haven’t seen her, none of us have. Once Blake started receiving micro-aggressions and transphobia we went into even more distress. In 2017 my brain was absolutely stressed out from everything during the drug era and how much trauma and how burdened my mind was, I split again. My brain created Bella. Fast forward to now, Bella was breaking, and Blake had already been poking his head out, he’s been seeing the distress she’s been in and came back to take over. I never thought I was capable of having something like this l, but please bear with me as I explain how I came to this realization. This may be TMI but my partner and I were having an intimate moment and instantly afterwards I had the worst panic attack, something I’ve been trying to protect myself from for years. As I’m writing this down I’m starting to realize that those panic attacks after sexual situations are probably lily, but still valid as panic attacks. I have a lump in my throat while writing this, I promise I am not making it up or exaggerating. During the panic attack my partner was trying to console me but I completely switched in that moment to Blake and all he could feel was sorrow and was trying to give her a break. Blake came out to keep her safe. all I could do was clean up and prepare for when she came back so she wasn’t triggered, I don’t know what this is and gender fluid still feels valid and right, but in that moment of switching genders, I realized I am not switching genders, I am switching personalities. One personality could not carry the burden of it all. I am not concerned about this though, I feel with the very realization I am understanding myself better as a while.”
I was very manic when writing this. I believe I mainly wrote it for my parents. I was fearful of being dismissed.
My cousin had joined the call since I was spiraling and the both of them worked really hard to try and get me to stop writing and go to bed, which was really hard for me because I was super hyper vigilant in the moment and when it comes to my independence, I was told I have to deal with everything myself and I can’t rely on people so sometimes listening to help can be hard, accepting that help can be hard. I ended up being able to put stuff down and go to bed, more because I didn’t want to make things more difficult for them but I also could partly recognize that my actions were not helping the state I was in.
Ever since this moment it’s been realization after realization. This is so far what resonates.
I believe I have 3, possibly 4 alters. One I will name lily, she is who I originally was. Main host I guess? But doesn’t feel like it anymore. What I think happened, is that I’ve been exposed to countless amounts of different forms of abuse. When I was 12, is when I believe I split for the first time. I’ve been looking back at photos to see my mannerisms, expressions, I’ve also been expressing alter emotions through art which was another realization I had a month or two ago. This realization came from looking back at my art, and at one piece I had made just before the main breakdown/realization. It was of a face, and my art has mainly been faces. This one I remember making, I was so frustrated; and I remember looking at it and being like, why am I so frustrated, this doesn’t reflect how I feel at all. Since the realization, my cousin had pointed out that it kind of resembled a sense of splitting, which then resonated deeply. It was like I saw my painting clearly, and then I looked at all my art and was like, oh my god. My alters have been here this whole god damn time. The painting I am talking about; is the one attached to this post.
When I was a child, I hated art with a passion. I remember never picking up a pencil crayon or anything because I just didn’t like it. I wasnt good at it, I had no intention of doing art. When I was 12/13 is when I actually started doing art. I remember I did a bridesmaids dress and was like, cool. Didn’t hate it, (yes I know that this is how most artists start) but then it was just eyes. I only drew eyes, eyes and faces. Faces with third eyes, faces with hardened expressions. Now I have said countless times to my family and friends when they ask about my art, that when I paint or draw, it doesn’t feel like it’s me doing it. I once chalked it up to, artists ghosts were using me to express their art. That thought came during a particularly distressing year that when I look back I was def manic. I lost 100 lbs in like a month-a month and a half, could not eat, could barely leave my bed, was not doing well at all. This was 2019 I believe. I looked through all my art recently and during a sketchbook in 2019, during a really hard time, I had wrote down the wrong year when signing my art. Twice. The year I wrote was 2012, when I was 11/12.(2000 baby). Which then led me to look back on my life and look at photos around 2012 which had me thinking it was 1 of 2 things. 2012 was the year I split for the first time, or it was the year something really traumatic happened. I think it was the first one though. Reason being, yeah everything had started changing when I was 12. I mean I was always changing prior, my life has been very tumultuous. An undiagnosed autistic afab kid who had a very manipulative narcissistic father, and a very sweet mother, surrounded by a huge family of cousins who were like siblings. My mom divorced my dad after lots of abuse, he emotionally manipulated me into always feeling sorry for men when they show emotion and I developed Stockholm syndrome towards him which had me defending his every actions, including when he was a drug dealer, and sold enough drugs to an 18 year old to have her overdose, or the child pornography on his computer, or anything really because I was a child and he was my dad he manipulated me at a very young age. My mom married again a year or two after, which prompted her to need to get away from the abuse of my bio dad, and the abuse of religion we had been pushed upon us since birth. Pentecostal. We moved across country, and suddenly she became very emotionally distant as we now had moved away from my entire family, and had a new man in our life who was stable in every aspect besides the emotional unavailability. He tried, they both did. But they were dealing with traumas. He had just gotten back from Afghanistan. We moved because he was stationed somewhere else in the country. I ended up developing a binge eating disorder, had a lot of other intense traumas in between, did not know how to cope. When I was 10, my parents put me in therapy, my sister and I both. To deal with my bio dad trauma. I’ve been in therapy ever since. I’m 23 now.
I realize I am getting off track but I’m tryna lay everything out and not forget anything.
When I was 12/13, a lot had happened with my bio dad and a restraining order was put in place. He also had a kid with another woman and she(my sister) had passed away, a lot had happened on top of many other traumas, and I think lily broke. She didn’t really wanna be present anymore but we had no idea what was happening, but I felt myself changing. I started combating this with hyper-femininity, because who had split was me, who is currently hosting, Blake. (Also I know I use I/me as a whole sometimes, still tryna understand that. The only thing that resonates with what I mean when I say I is higher self. Not in a spiritual sense but like a higher version or a whole version? I don’t know)
Had no idea wtf was happening. All I knew was I started having dysphoria that I didn’t understand was dysphoria, so I combated it with hyperfeminity. Extra make up; always dressing up extra “girly” trying to act “girlier” or more feminine. Until I turned 14/15, and I ended up coming to terms with the fact that I was not who I thought I was, so I started changing to align with who I was. I came out as a trans man, and started the process of transitioning. Cue micro-aggressions, internalized transphobia, as well as a shit ton of transphobia from my family back home which caused me to panic. I ended up becoming really suicidal and made the decision to go hang out with a friend who was hanging with friends I had never met before, which triggered my next traumatic event. I ended up hanging with the wrong people, went down a drug path, was exposed to some very difficult and dangerous moments, felt a feeling of distress I have never felt nor would ever wish upon my worst enemy. I put it on myself as well, to help the friend I went in there with, get off a coke addiction. He went into psychosis and became violent at one point so I had to tell his mom everything and she sent him to rehab which worked but didn’t. He OD’d one night(survived) it was bad. I only ever went as far as psychedelics. But acid was my drug of choice. I was so done with everyone and everything that I just spent like 2-3 months straight, every day, tripping. I was 16 at the time. I also was exposed to the father of the household who had a weird thing for me, he tried sneaking into my bedroom one night when my bf wasn’t home (I ended up moving in with my at the time bf) but I was awake so he left real quick but it terrified me. All of this was such intense distress and I believe around this time was the second split, because it felt like for the entirety of me in that traumatic era, it was Blake and Bella fighting to host and take over. Bella was the host for the past 6 years. She took over around 2017, after like a year of fighting. I(Blake) tend to self destruct, even though I’m overprotective, trying to accept this about myself at the time was impossible because I was dealing with so much anger that was affecting the rest of the system. I also was done. Idk if alters “go to sleep” but Blake went away for a while. But what I’ve come to realize is I don’t think they’re ever went away, like lily has always been here, and I realized that the night of the intimate moment, because me having that panic attack after the intimate moment, and every panic attack prior, I believe that it’s lily. I haven’t touched that too much though because she is so to herself and shy and never comes out and she’s just traumatized, plus the amount of anger coming from Blake, and the amount of sadness coming from Bella, it’s all very overwhelming. But I do think it’s her, I don’t think she understands what’s happening but she like pokes her head out during it because maybe it’s so to with the sexual trauma we went through as a kid? I know something happened to me as a kid but I don’t know what. But I’m not ready for that yet, the anger is a more pressing issue.
Bella is very maternal, she took over and spent the past 6 years working her ass off to develop the coping mechanisms we need, and creating a safe space in our mind. The manic moments have been cushioned without us even knowing it’s manic moments; all she knew was we’re in distress so she found what helped best and worked real hard to keep us afloat. She got us out of the drugs, out of the abuse, out of the toxic relationship, out of anything that did not serve us. But not without giving up too much of herself and being beaten down. Like I know we’ve all gone through it but she took hit after hit after hit and everyone just used her as a projection batting cage. Within the past few months has been her stepping down. 5 months is us fighting, because she doesn’t want to, but she needs to, because she needs a break. And I need a break from the break. I need to deal with my anger and learn to live this world as a man. It’s been really hard to deal with, because I’ve cut off our hair which was a lot for Bella, and I’m trying to give her grace because it’s a huge change for everyone; but I’m so eager to be out. To my friends and family I’ve come out as gender fluid, a safe way for us to just be, even though gender fluid is still accurate to us, but me(Blake) I want to be on T, I want top surgery; the dysphoria has been very intense but I am not making any decisions while untreated in whatever this is. Bella doesn’t want any of that, but a hypothetical compromise that we’ve been thinking about is a breast reduction to start, to ease the mind.
Now when I look back at the past 11-12 years, I see all three of them out and about disguised as each other without realizing. There’s this one song I remember listening to on repeat non stop and idk why it just felt right it sounded right I loved it I needed to listen to it. Now, go listen to Satellites by Sleeping with sirens, think about alters waking up/trying to be known or whatever, like Jesus fuck it’s so obvious to me everything just makes sense (ik that sounds like a stretch but there’s more in my head that relates to that feeling I just can’t put it into words)
I’ve also been dealing with breaking down the walls of expectations. I have never allowed myself to be upset or have quarrels due to feeling like an inconvenience, I believe this has a lot to do with it as well.
Oh and the 4th potential alter is either someone just chillin in the background observing, or the “higher self” version of myself I was talking about. I really can’t tell.
I know there’s so much more I didn’t add but I’m deffo not doing the best rn so my brain can’t remember everything. Anyways, I’m not looking for a diagnosis obviously, but I just wanna hear what it sounds like. Because it feels like a personality disorder of some sort even tho idk wtf that’s supposed to feel like lol, so does it sound like one? I guess is what I’m really asking. Anyways, thanks for reading. Regardless of a response it is nice to get this off my chest aha. It also might be all over the place if so I apologize I think I’m currently manic? Yes I have been talking with my therapist about this, she’s not specialized in this stuff so she can only help so much, I’ve been tryna push my doctor to get me a psych referral to which he says there’s no psychiatrist in my area that are really taking any clients rn. He also sat there and told me I wasn’t dealing with mania and started listening of symptoms that I deal with that he had yet to even ask me about. I was already heated going in there because I knew I was going to have to fight for what I needed. Well the funny part is, the psychiatrist I went in there wanting a referral to; that I thought my therapist recommended me, was not an actual recommendation of a psychiatrist, but of a book of resources for me to look at, but I was manic and not there and I was literally so bent on needing help and needing a psych referral that my brain heard the authors name and was like “okay time to go to the doctor”. And then I had to admit to the doctors receptionist that I was indeed manic when I came in and that i didn’t know what I was talking about which was embarrassing and then I actually heard concern in her voice, rather than dismissal, which should’ve been comforting, but it just pissed me off lol. Anyways, sorry I’m done now lol 😂

So i've been into LitRPG's for awhile now and i've noticed a lot of trends that tend to happen over and over again (much like Isakai's)
and i was wondering what are yalls most hated "Tropes" of this Genre, why/why not, and any suggeastions for quality books?
my personal pet peeve is the Normal guy to murderhobo and befriend all the monsters while being an asshole to basicly eveyone exept the friends they made right at the beggining or all humans turning into cartoonishly evil villians for seemingly no reason, also the Bipolar switching of personality on a dime for plot convience, also never loosing, not even once
the first one is fairly simple, Most LitRPG protags are surposedly normal people, who lived in normal worlds and presumably haven't killed anything, and yet as soon as the system or world teleport changes they are seemingly unaffected by killing what are presumably sentient beings, i can give a pass to somethings because i guess you could rationlize it as video game monsters (for goblins and slimes and wolves and things) but they then go from that to happily killing humans and very obviously not evil enemys because they "got on thier nerves", it's true that SOME storys don't imeditatly do this, but most will then have the protag go though something trumatic and do a complete 180 in personality which no one questions or chastises them for and the system even rewards sending them further down the murderhobo track
this extends to my second and third pet peeve which is the sudden 180 for most humans, like i get that you probs had to go though shit, but that dosen't give you the excuse to suddenly become a massive asshole, it sucks all the fun out of reading stuff because this additude seemingly flips on a dime for plot convience, one second thier willing to give litteral demons who were trying to kill him a second ago, only to try and intimidate or kill another as soon as they don't get thier way, disregarding common decency and morals (especialy around buying slaves) because they were "picked on"/ everyone turning into the worst person to exist with a personality as deep as a puddle that takes offence to you breathing wrong
which leads me into my final point were they breese though any and all strugles in like a month that have taken others years or decades to get to, yes some cheese is to be expected, it's a litRPG after all, but gosh dang it have none of these authors heard of a little thing called STAKES or DRAMATIC TENSION, if all the fights are won with no contest whats the point of getting stronger, shouldn't the protag get bored? wheres the moral quandrys of taking anothers life, why can't he loose one fight to a stronger enemy, hell they often times win fights against people WHO SHOULD BE SO FAR ABOVE THEM THAT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY *looks at he who fights with monsters*

Hello everyone. I am a late in lifer. Came out as a lesbian at 29 and am currently 34. I’ve had a few short relationships and one serious relationship where we were engaged but ultimately we broke up because of wanting different things. That was almost 2 years ago. Since then I’ve been single. Haven’t dated at all. Partly because I needed time to heal. (Even thought she got married less than a year after we broke up…) And partly because I got orders (I’m military) to an overseas location and I knew any relationship I got in would have an expiration date. I’m only at my current base for a year total and then go to my next one overseas next year. But lately I’ve been feeling so lonely and that maybe I should have been/should be trying to date? I feel like currently it would be a waste of time seeing that I leave here in December. It’s just been so long since I’ve so much as kissed/cuddled anyone. And it just makes me feel so lonely. I’m not getting any younger and I’m so tired of being single now. But I’m also not one for hooking up/one night stands/fwb etc. And getting to my next base it’ll take time to get settled and start darting because I don’t want to rush anything. So I’m probably my own worst enemy making myself lonely. All my friends straight or queer are all in loving committed relationships and there’s just me by myself wishing I had someone like they did…I don’t really completely know the point of posting this other than to vent and get my frustrations out. Anywho… if you’ve gotten this far thank you for reading.

Now that a couple of years has passed since the Fandom's acquisition of Gamepedia and the new Fandom visual look (such as the dreaded sidebar), I think it would be a good to time to get a retrospective look on the aftermath of these changes. I would like to also add that many Fandom wikis have been now abandoned as the active contributors moved to Wiki.GG, and while I would like to remain unbiased in this reflective essay, I have to say that they made the right decision by ditching Fandom.
It is impossible to ignore Fandom's greatest issue: The ads. While I and many other users run an adblocker, I decided to test a few Fandom wikis without and compare the expirience to that of Wiki.GG. And I'll have to say, the diffrence was MASSIVE. While WIki.GG had a few ads, they were generally unobtrusive and were only advertisements for video games, and did not affect the load times in any way, shape or form. But Fandom on the other hand... Oh boy... It was truly an ungodly expirience, which I do not wish upon even my worst enemies. Except maybe for the folks at Fandom who are responsible for this underworldly abomination. It took on average between 1.5 and 2 minutes just to load half of a wiki page. On wiki.GG it took 2 seconds at most.
But when it loaded... Oh my... It was a sight to behold, and not in a good way, let me tell you. The whole site was covered in massive, flashing commercials. There were multiple banners, some anchored to diffrent sides of the screen, others not, advertising for online gambling sites (even though they are illegal in my country), with backgrounds of raining coins and massive pulsating buttons reading "play now". When I tried pressing the "x" on the corner of one of the advertisements, I noticed that there were two of them and I clicked on the wrong one. This caused a slow, laggy redirect to a dodgy, barebones betting site which was highly contrasted by the cheeriful, overdesigned ad. The site starts automatically downloading an .exe file, but I manage to stop it just before it finishes.
I closed the gambling site and when I switched toi the fandom page, my broweser (firefox) crashed. I decided to give Fandom another ruddy good shot with Google Chrome this time, figuring thatr maybe Firefox is not compatable with fandom. This time Fandom took only around 1.5 minutes to load, but it was full of ads again, which kept on switching into other ads. There also was an autoplaying video that scrolled with the screen, which never loaded. There was literally a giant black box with a loading icon that covered 30% of the screen while never loading and never giving an button to close it. The wiki was laggy and more that 50% of the whole screen was covered in ads. It was the first time I had even reen a wiki scroll bar rubberband. And I have an Nvidia series X graphics card and an Lntel i5 core deluxe kernel.
Then the sidebar. I swear by the Old Lord's Oathsword that that thing was created just to annoy the (redacted) out of wiki users, espicially those who run dark mode (like me). It is insufferably colored, with bright red and neon yellow, two colors that animals in nature use to signify that they are lethally toxic. It has a giant arrow, with the text "new" pointing to "fan central". Which I clicked curiously. It led me to a hellhole filled with ads, anime wikis and laggy autoplaying videos (seriously I never got one to load, I even left my computer afk for 20 minutes and when I came back the loading icon was still spinning). When I clicked on the first gaming wiki I saw (which was the Terraria wiki), I noticed that it had been vandalized, with most pinned articles being full of nonsense like "skibidi", "69" and "dryad's shower". I had played the game recently and know none of that is actually in it. When I scrolled to the bottom of the article, massive images of anime characters started showing up amongst other articles and links to unrelated wikis.
All in all, I have to say that Fandom wikis suck ass. They are truly THE WORST. I swear by the shadow of Deathwing's wings that I will never, EVER touch another Fandom wiki article as long as I am alive, even if it means enduring the pear of anguish.
TL;DR Fandom sucks, don't use it, use wiki.GG instead.

I enjoyed overwatch but now I only play with my friends and not because of the game. Lately the matchmaking has been terrible. I don't say it is terrible because I loose (I dont care as long as it is fun), the problem almost every game begins and ends with a stomp.
Either my team play against people that seem to just start playing the game or the enemy team absolutely destroys us.
Another problem is that now in Every Game there is at least one player that has no skin nor progression level but is absolutely busted to the point that it ruins the fun to everyone else, people that genuinely shouldn't be playing at that skill level. This is becoming worse and worse with time (I know its quickplay but come on, it should be fun and balanced aswell).
The absolute worst is when the odds conspire against you and you end in a team with people that go 1v5 instead of joining with the team and the enemy team has these busted players with new accounts.
Well, after this rant I ask you. Is there anything I can do to try to find more balanced games? A workaround or something.

I don't usually talk about my experiences at all. Well, I actually don't talk about it at all, but it's been something I've known since i was young.
I am a person who has been used for my body countless times, and funny enough, I've never had sex. I don't think I ever want to; most of the time after something sexual happens with a person I have a SR { sexual relationship } with, I cry after or in the middle of it. I cry a lot, I feel shame, disgust, and regret. Sometimes I cry silently or I cry openly in front of the person, some comfort me and some get scared. "Are you sure you wanted to do that?" "Was that okay for me to do..?" "I promise I love you."
Every time I think of my experiences, I dissociate. I'm doing that right now and it's making it hard to write, but I know I need to let my thoughts out somewhere.
I get called a whore a lot because of the way I present myself, with my body or fashion. Usually, I was able to deal with it but over the years of it going on and on, I'm becoming intolerable to it. It's like a dunce hat, but with "slut" written across and instead of sitting in the corner facing the wall; youre supposed to take their money and entertain.
I don't know what my main point of this is besides I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted of people leaving because they only want the sexual part of me, I'm tired of people expecting me to do sexual things with them, I'm tired of people harassing me, physically gripping my body, forcing me to do things I don't want to do.
I'm so fucking tired. I try, I try all the time. I know consent and the language of sex like the back of my hand, but nobody around me gets it. Nobody is patient. I present them with a box with fragile labelled all over the box, but they still excitedly shake the box vigorously to hear what's inside only to realize the sound of shattered glass.
{ Big TW ahead, tread carefully. } I invalidate myself because I've never been assaulted via penetration, only oral. I tell myself it wasn't a big deal, but it was. It is. I cried so hard that day, in front of him and after he left. He said he was sorry, but what good was that? What good was that?! You wouldn't have looked shameful, and avoided my gaze for awhile after if you respected my no!! I have never ever let anybody do anything oral to me since because every single time somebody attempts to try; I cry and go nonverbal.
I'm asexual, I don't seek out sexual attraction or care for it, I see it as a hobby or killing curiosity but the older and "more legal" I get, the more I want to drop it as a whole. Lust has forever been my worst enemy, my rival, or something "men can't control."
It's made me hate my body and altered the way I see relationship, platonically or not. It's a disease I don't know how to cure and I hope it doesn't make my view life bitter all around

Dear brothers in Christ. I want to thank the Lord for this day, because today the urges where very strong but by the grace of the Lord and his strenght, I didn't relapsed.
Today my worst enemy was my mind. All the images and videos I saw in the past tempted me. And again thanks to the Lord I didn't relapsed. I want to thank Him for his Spirit who gave me all the strenght and courage to overcome, and I want to thank Him four all your live brothers because I remembered you all today and looking at your faith made resist. And I remembered the text in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verse 9 to 10: "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
And today dear brothers you all were those who lift me up and carry me, and I want to thank all of you, I know we don't meet in real life but I can see you like my family in Jesus Christ, because in Him we are all one. I will pray for all of you. The peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Don't stop praying.
I love you all.