The bellowing ring of the galleon's bell cuts clear through the clouds before its prow does, the baby blue sky joined with the rich umber of a hull following a long series of Clang... Clang... Clang. A careful eye might notice the gashed rips of claws in the half-drawn sails, but not many eyes are careful. Excitement has been the watchword of the day, the restlessness of the Guildhall practically bubbling over in confirmed anticipation of the vessel's arrival. Regardless of what might be below decks and upon newly minted charts there is one price coveted above all earned by the returning crew: Stories. More vital to your guild than any cargo is what that ship brings everywhere it goes. The bellowing ring of the galleon's bell cuts clear through the clouds before its prow does, the baby blue sky joined with the rich umber of a hull following a long series of Clang... Clang... Clang. A careful eye might notice the gashed rips of claws in the half-drawn sails, but not many eyes are careful. Excitement has been the watchword of the day, the restlessness of the Guildhall practically bubbling over in confirmed anticipation of the vessel's arrival. Regardless of what might be below decks and upon newly minted charts there is one price coveted above all earned by the returning crew: Stories. More vital to your guild than any cargo is what that ship brings everywhere it goes. Wonder*.*
Hi! I'm Ellory (They/she), DM of 8 years, and I'd like to be yours! DnD 5e was my very first exposure to TTRPGs and since then I've enjoyed a great many systems, but always will 5E have a very special place in my heart. I believe that the PCs are the main characters of the story that we all tell together, guided by my own work of set dressing and plot writing. I asked my players if they had anything to say for my DMing abilities, so I'll let them speak for me!

Reviews!

• "I've always believed that the single most important rule of any tabletop game is to have fun, and Ellory has mastered this rule. She's a top class Dungeon Master who has provided me with some of the greatest tabletop memories I've ever had. They've crafted some of the most heart pounding action, soul jerking sorrow, and joyous celebration I've felt at the table." -Tyler
• "Ellory is, by far, the best DM I have ever had. I have been playing at their table for 4+ years in a wide variety of systems and settings - a 1.5 year long campaign in a home-brewed world in DnD 5e, a 2-year-long campaign of Vampire: the Masquerade, and a variety of one-shots and short campaigns in other systems. I will likely continue to play at their table for the next decade or longer. I have played with a number of different storytellers and dungeon masters, and none of them have ever demonstrated the same level of care for the enjoyment of their players, nor for their world. Their voice-acting is varied, their passion for the story is noticeable, and their flexibility to account for players' desires is impressive." -Kaitlyn
• "Ellory's style of DM'ing immerses you in worlds that are vibrant, detailed, and dynamic. Every NPC in their games feels individually unique, with their own motives and plans, making interactions deeply engaging and often leading to unexpected twists and turns. Ellory manages to strike a perfect balance between long over-arching storylines and player agency. The plots are compelling and well-structured, providing a sense of purpose. However, they never impose these narratives at the expense of player freedom. Choices matter, and player actions have a genuine impact on the world and its inhabitants. Each player's decisions is woven seamlessly into the broader narrative, making every game feel like a collaborative storytelling effort. Most importantly, after being a part of Ellory's games for years, I still look forward to every session and always leave having had a great time. If you're looking for a great DM whose sessions you eagerly anticipate each week, look no further." -Tanner

Game Details!

As is my wont, I've gone and made another fully fleshed out setting for a brand new group of players to experience. You will play as the explorers at the horizon, agents of The Cartographer's Guild. Maps are very important when you have to worry about another island, however distant, on a collision course with your house. And while map making is less than dramatic, the real main event is the exploration of never-before-seen chunks of land that haven't seen a soul in generations. Forgotten tombs and harrowing dungeons, isolated villages and monster nests await our intrepid voyagers, getting rich off of history before it kills them.
There's a fair bit of lore that would make this ad far and away overstuffed. If you're interested to learn the lore of creation, see a glimpse of history, and examine the 5 detailed cultures of the world, feel free to peruse this drive folder! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/117zEVINT4h8qY4dkA3O5EU9J2VDrXPNY?usp=sharing
Generally speaking, our format of play will involved downtime at the Guildhall with our characters unwinding from the last expedition and preparing for the next. From there, exploration will ensue with brief but enriching and immersing random encounters until a plot encounter is discovered. Following its resolution our heroes will return to base and so the cycle repeats, with some glaring exceptions when player decision calls for it.
I have a handful of ideas for an overarching narrative, but our final choice will be made collaboratively and in accordance with player interest and backstory considerations.
I accept any and all classes from officially published material, though your selection of lineage/race will be more limited to fit the lore of the setting. Your options will include:

• Humans, the Tribe Undivided
• Dwarves, the Tribe of Earth
• Drau-shi, the Tribe of Water
• Rani, the Tribe of Fire
• Elves, the Tribe of Air

Even the familiar names of the above list do have occasionally significant alterations from the PHB to reflect their unique standing in the Shattered Skies.

Logistics & Requirements!

This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $20 per session excepting absences and session zero delivered through Venmo, Cash App, or Zelle.
Roll20 will be used for the purposes of tactical combat encounter maps, dice rolling, and character sheet management. Discord will be used for voice and video communications. I will be using my camera for our sessions so I can talk with my hands and face alongside my voice, and I would encourage you to do the same! I have a server made and prepared for this game.
My timezone is CST, and I'm entirely available on Saturday to make a session time work around whatever our schedules allow for. I'm partial to evening start times myself. I'm hoping our (free) session zero can happen on the 25th and we can begin play properly on the 1st of June.
If you're paying for sessions of DnD it's a fair assumption you're over the age of 18, and I would prefer you're at least that old. Exceptions can be made, but my games tend to be adult and include elements of occasionally disturbing horror.
I expect y'all to have fun, and if that involves drug or alcohol use for you I'd ask the dial to be set to somewhere around 3 out of 10. I've been known to have a glass of wine during sessions but never anything more.
Safety tools will be utilized to maintain a safe environment where everyone is having comfortable fun. Lines and veils will be established, and mine is an open table. If you knowingly violate a line it is grounds for ejection without refund. There is a certain amount of emotional trust we give our players and our DMs when we play this game, and it will not be betrayed.
Furthermore, this is an explicitly LGBT friendly space. I'm queer in multiple ways and queer identities will be portrayed in the NPCs of the world. If either of those things are deal breakers for you, please look elsewhere for a game.

In Closing!

If this game has piqued your interest, shoot me a message on Reddit or find me on discord at "teslazoa"!

16-minute read.

pro-West party leader says they met PM Pashinyan and discussed a referendum to solidify Armenia's shift to EU

KHZMALYAN (European Party of Armenia): The referendum is our suggestion and demand. We presented it to Pashinyan and expect a response within a reasonable timeframe. We advised making a public statement soon. A referendum would also make Pashinyan's job easier by allowing the people's will to decide Armenia's direction.
REPORTER: How did Pashinyan respond?
KHZMALYAN: He suggested the meeting be held in a closed format so I can't reveal all details. We hope that our voice, our offer, our demand, was heard. If we do not receive a positive response, we will take measures by employing the same methods currently used by anti-European forces [the ongoing protests led by pro-Russian ex-regime]. We will take to the streets and demand a referendum for Eurointegration if necessary.
REPORTER: How long are you ready to wait before taking action?
KHZMALYAN: A few months. Georgia will hold parliamentary elections in October, and Moldova will hold a similar Eurointegration referendum - also in October. The U.S. will hold presidential elections in November which will be important for Armenia's future. Even if the worst scenario unfolds in all three countries, Armenia must stand firm and not take a step back. Armenia could become the leader in democracy in all of Eastern Europe if you consider the situation in Georgia, Hungary, and Slovakia [pro-Russia populist leader]. Armenia could receive an unprecedented level of assistance from Europe under those circumstances.
REPORTER: Did Pashinyan say he plans to leave CSTO?
KHZMALYAN: We did not demand specific dates but we urged him to complete all these processes this year, preferably by November.
REPORTER: Did Pashinyan agree?
KHZMALYAN: The participants of the meeting are under the impression that we were able to present convincing arguments but time will show what actions he takes. The government functions very poorly but nevertheless, they are doing something, they are taking steps.
REPORTER: On May 9, Bagrat Galstanyan gave Pashinyan 1 hour to resign but it's May 21 and he is still here. Why wasn't the opposition able to remove him?
KHZMALYAN: The 3 former presidents and their surrogate forces, backed by 30 years of power, were unable to bring forward a figurehead, a single ideology, that could win the hearts of the people. They used various political technologies, they switched between black and white robes, and they extended the 1 hour to 7 days, but none of that helped because the Armenian people hate them more than they hate Nikol Pashinyan.
REPORTER: You used to be a lot harsher on Pashinyan but something appears to have changed in your tone after your recent meeting with him. What is the reason?
KHZMALYAN: We were able to present our demands and the timelines to accomplish them. Unlike the archbishop and the former regimes surrounding him, we did not give "one hour" for Pashinyan to accept our demands; we did not make ultimatums. We believe the current government is carrying out and will carry out the will of the people to overcome the status of a Russian colony and join the ranks of free nations. We did and do see steps [taken by the government] towards this; we cannot ignore this. We saw the Strassbourg, but also Moscow. We saw the [April 5 meeting in] Brussels, but also [the recent meeting between FMs in] Almaty. We are told this is an attempt to "balance" and we understand where they are coming from, but our factions speak on behalf of over 60% of Armenians who view Russia's policies as deadly for Armenia. We expect concrete actions and we have formed a platform to continue this work; there will be petitions and other actions from us. We are ready to assist Pashinyan, who may be constrained due to ongoing negotiations, by being the public voice and saying the things he cannot say. We will continue to work, to pressure, to influence, to demand. Our meetings also continue abroad. We will press on until we reach our goal - the Eurointegration of Armenia. //
Several prominent Western-oriented political parties recently formed an alliance to promote Armenia's Eurointegration.
video,

Pashinyan appoints a ruling party member as a deputy head of the newly formed Foreign Intelligence Service - the Armenian "CIA"

After the 2020 war, Pashinyan said Armenia will need a modern intel agency to gather information and analyze foreign threats, while the NSS -- described as historically a "pro-Russian" agency by many -- will focus on internal matters.
source,

Pashinyan met the deputy head of the United States CIA to discuss bilateral, international, and regional issues

A delegation led by David Cohen is in Yerevan. Cohen also met NatSec Armen Grigoryan.
source, source,

Armenia's Investigative Committee chief hosted U.S. Deputy Assistant Secretary in the Bureau of International Narcotics and Law Enforcement Affairs

Qyaramyan and Yoder discussed bilateral cooperation, the recent retraining for Armenian agents and technical assistance, cooperation between law enforcement agencies of Armenia and the United States, anti-narcotrafficking, and the fight against gender-based violence.
Yoder also met Armenia's Interior Minister Ghazaryan to discuss the ongoing police reforms and formation of new divisions, the fight against narco-trafficking, technical assistance for rescuers, and retraining courses. Yoder emphasized effective cooperation, noting that the achievements within the framework of sectorial reforms are exceptional. The US wants to expand the agenda of cooperation.
source, source,

Armenian army officers continue to take part in NATO exercises titled Regex 2024 held in Moldova

GOOGLE TRANSLATE: The exercise is organized with the support of the NATO Joint Forces Command in Naples, Italy, and aims to train the military according to Western standards for planning and conducting exercises, crisis management, strengthening and assessing the level of interoperability of forces in a multinational environment.
We remind you that the exercise "Regex 2024" consists of several workshops during the current year. The first workshop took place between February 16 and March 1, and the second between 22 − April 26, 2024. //
source, source,

NATO and Armenia strengthen cooperation in defense education

Armenia's defense ministry representatives recently visited NATO headquarters to discuss NATO’s Defence Education Enhancement Programme (DEEP) for Armenia.
NATO: The DEEP programme is an excellent tool to support Armenian military education system reforms and strengthen the country’s cooperation with NATO.
ARMENIA: With the support of DEEP experts we implemented major changes in all levels of our educational curriculum at Military Academy, starting from cadets up to the most senior levels. It helped us to establish cooperation with many international partner institutions.
source,

Armenia is an emerging destination for UK and global investors: Armenia's Ambassador to London Business Matters

👔 Armenia is committed to building a knowledge-based, export-oriented, and inclusive economy.
👔 Armenia is diversifying its growing economy with pioneering sectors, creating ample investment opportunities.
👔 Armenia’s investment legislation grants equal treatment to foreign investors
👔 There are no restrictions on remittances and repatriation of profits, free exchange of foreign currencies and no limitations on staff recruitment
👔 The country’s favorable business climate and ‘open-door’ policy is also reflected in international reputable rankings where Armenia is ranked one of the highest in the region.
👔 Although Armenia has a relatively modest internal market, it offers different models of economic cooperation and serves as a gateway to major world markets
👔 Armenia has maintained a high level of cooperation with the EU through CEPA
👔 Armenia and UK will soon have a CEPA-like agreement
full article, source,

Turkey modernizes an Azerbaijani Su-25ML jet with guided bombs and Teber missiles

It uses KGK laser guidance for missiles and increases the reach to 110 km.
source,

Pashinyan's Chief of Staff hosted the French Ambassador to discuss defense, economy, infrastructure, and humanitarian topics

... also the upcoming events dedicated to the 100th anniversary of Charles Aznavour.
source,

Parliament Speakers of Armenia and Ukraine discuss the situation in the South Caucasus and Ukraine

source,

Q&A with ruling party MP Vahagn Alexanyan about the ongoing protests led by pro-Russian opposition

REPORTER: You continue to criticize the "holy movement"...
ALEXANYAN: The what now?
REPORTER: ... the "holy movement", by calling it a "pagan" movement. What is the ruling party's stance and do you discuss this internally?
ALEXANYAN: Of course we do, although I don't think Kocharyan's decision to name this movement "holy" is helping them. It's comical.
REPORTER: Do you have proof that Bagrat srbazan is [tied with Kocharyan]?
ALEXANYAN: Bagrat Galstanyan is surrounded by the entire political team of Robert Koharyan, he was a member of Kocharyan's 2022 protests and gave similar speeches he gives today, he received a praise from Russian propagandists, and he was named by a Russian propagandist Aram Gabrielyanov as a potential candidate for a new protest movement just a few months prior to these events, so it's beyond reasonable doubt that Bagrat Galstanyan is part of Kocharyan's team.
REPORTER: You were earlier accusing Galstanyan of being a Russian agent, and now Kocharyan's agent?
ALEXANYAN: Same thing.
REPORTER: The opposition gathered many thousands of supporters on May 9. What does the size of the crowd indicate?
ALEXANYAN: It was similar to Kocharyan's final rally before the 2021 elections. And?
REPORTER: The opposition created a video of "Pashinyan's lies" and broken promises. Will you respond?
ALEXANYAN: The clip itself is a lie and manipulation. For example, one of the supposed lies was Pashinyan's promise of an amnesty for overdue fines and penalties. You are a journalist, you tell me, was there an amnesty or not?
REPORTER: Pashinyan had also said that POWs could wait "just a few more months" and that he wouldn't "sacrifice Armenia's sovereignty" in exchange for bringing them back sooner. Why aren't they back?
ALEXANYAN: Dozens of POWs returned home in December, and efforts continue to bring back the rest. Literally 1-2 days before the POWs' return, the opposition claimed that the POWs were "forgotten" by the government. "Ոչ մի բան չեք անում:"
REPORTER: What about the Nagorno-Karabakh leadership?
ALEXANYAN: There are efforts to return them as well.
REPORTER: Why did the police form a wall to block entry to village Kirants [for nonresidents]?
ALEXANYAN: I think the NSS said they had to take action to prevent interference with the border work. From what I can tell, the protest leader himself went there yesterday and returned only 15 minutes later so there wasn't a big desire to stay there apparently.
REPORTER: They plan to hold a big rally on May 26 where they might nominate Bagrat srbazan as the PM's candidate to replace Pashinyan.
ALEXANYAN: Why not go straight for [alleged narco baron] Mihran Poghosyan [who publicly praised the protests]?
REPORTER: There appears to be a consensus around Bagrat srbazan after a meeting between several forces.
ALEXANYAN: Consensus minus one, where "minus one" is the people. Or to be more precise, "minus two", because the Constitution also prohibits Bagrat from serving as a prime minister. Congratulations on an initiative that's dead on arrival. It's absurd. They suggested replacing the Constitution to allow a dual citizen to serve as PM. Okay... To get Canadian citizenship you have to take an oath to serve the best interests of Canada. To allow dual citizens to serve as PM in Armenia we have to accept for the PM to have loyalty towards another state. The alternative is for the candidate [Bagrat] to admit that his word [oath to Canada] wasn't worth a dime. Երևի մատերը խաչ արած ա երդվել։
REPORTER: But don't you think you are manipulating because Galstanyan received Canadian citizenship just to be able to serve in the church in Canada? He didn't go there to live or conduct business.
ALEXANYAN: It doesn't matter why he went to Canada. He is a citizen of Canada and took an oath. Even religious leaders with dual citizenship cannot become prime ministers. I don't have an issue with him being a dual citizen, but it limits his office options. He still hasn't renounced his Canadian citizenship even after all these talks about a possible nomination.
REPORTER: Galstanyan said he is ready to renounce it as soon as there is a need for it.
ALEXANYAN: In other words, he seeks "guarantees" that he will be the candidate in order to renounce it?
full,source, source,

opposition churchman Bagrat Galstanyan demands the Armenian government compensate the damage done to the church during USSR and "return" the properties "legally belonging" to the church

This was said as a response to the critics of the church leadership who accused the church of turning into a political party and suggested taxing the church like a business.
BAGRAT: We have 19th-century churches that were forcefully confiscated and turned into ruins. The properties of the Armenian church must be returned to the church. The area of Moscow Cinema belongs to the church, half of the Katoghike Church was demolished and belongs to the church, and part of the items in Matenadaran were taken away from the church. Instead of threatening us with taxes, they must think about how they plan to return our properties, fully renovated and ready for service.
source,

the church is actually paying taxes but they do have some exemptions

The church paid $1 million in income taxes last year.
There are tax exemptions to import certain goods deemed for charity. They also don't pay property tax, and taxes on income generated from the sales of ceremonial accessories. The latter two are the frequent targets of church critics.
source,

Armenia's Constitutional Court has a vacant seat. Pro-Russian opposition criticizes Pashinyan's ruling party for favoring a "George Soros-linked" judge who worked for U.S. State Department.

A Serj-era judge is leaving the Constitutional Court after receiving a job offer elsewhere so one seat is vacant. It is the judiciary's turn to nominate a CC judge, so hundreds of judges recently held a meeting and voted for Judge Balayan as their candidate. Balayan's father was a CC judge during Kocharyan's tenure. He was accused in the Wikileaks report of having inappropriate deals with President Kocharyan. Pashinyan's ruling party did not vote to approve Balayan. This led to a second gathering of hundreds of judges where they voted to nominate Judge Khachaturyan as their candidate. The parliament summoned him for Q&A on Tuesday.
SPEAKER: We invite the representative of the judiciary to present their nominee for CC.
JUDICIARY REP: 267 judges voted. Judge Davit Khachaturyan, a member of the Criminal Chamber of the Court of Cassation, won the majority votes.
2000-2005: [blah blah blah]
2003-2006: Legislative Assistance Project Manager at Southern Caucasus Anti-Drug (SCAD) Program, sponsored by European Union and implemented by United Nations Development Program
2006: Program Assistant at U.S. Embassy in Armenia, Bureau for International Narcotics and Law Enforcement Affairs (INL)
2007-2013: U.S. Embassy in Armenia, U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), Legal Specialist
2014: Academy of Justice of the Republic of Armenian-Russian, Vice-Rector and Lecturer
2015-2016: Council of Europe Office in Yerevan, Program “Strengthening Health Care and Human Rights Protection in Prisons in Armenia”, Legal Expert
2016: EU project “Development and Strategic Studies”, Expert on Judiciary and Human Rights field reforms
2015-2017: EU project “ENP Progress Reports and Assessment Reports on Armenia´s Compliance with GSP+ obligations”. Expert on Rule of Law/Justice.
2013–2020: Law Faculty of Yerevan State University. Lecturer. Development and teaching of courses for the Master Program: “European Standards for the human rights protection in criminal proceedings”, and “Professional Skills of a Lawyer”
etc.
OPPOSITION MP: The ruling faction earlier chose not to confirm the appointment of Judge Davit Balayan; they obviously prefer Davit Khachaturyan. Can you explain why you didn't mention that Khachaturyan served on the board of directors and later as the president of the board at George Soros's Armenia-based Open Society Foundations? How will this record impact his work at CC?
JUDICIARY REP: I presented parts of his professional activities available on the court's public platforms. You can ask the candidate directly.
OPPOSITION MP: The Soros Foundation publicly listed him as a member so I don't understand why it's being hidden now. In your opinion, how will his work at the Soros Foundation affect his impartiality?
JUDICIARY REP: The majority of judges chose him and it's up to Parliament whether to confirm or reject.
RULING MP: Was the voting held in a closed session or can you see how each judge voted?
JUDICIARY REP: It's a closed format. My duty here is to present the candidate. [basically, leave me alone I'm just doing my job]
RULING MP: Why not make the court voting and internal discussions more transparent for the public to see so we will have fewer conspiracy theories on why one judge was preferred over the other?
JUDICIARY REP: I share the view that it needs to be as public as possible but the majority of judges voted to keep the session closed to the press.
RULING MP: Just because the discussions and the vote were behind closed doors that doesn't mean it was anti-democratic, but still, it's better to publicize the process. We hope to see a change in this approach.
JUDICIARY REP: The ballot casting will always be secret and I think that's the right approach in order to allow judges to express themselves without constraints, but I agree that the discussions and speeches should be public. Either way whatever we discuss behind closed doors always reaches the press so in practice there isn't really a major transparency issue there.
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: First, every part of my biography has always been public and part of public discussions. Second, I have always voted in favor of making internal discussions open to the press; it's the best way to avoid incorrect assumptions. Full speech here.
OPPOSITION MP: Congratulations. The ruling party intends to approve your candidacy just as they voted for you in the past for other positions. In all of those instances, you didn't mention your work at the Сорос Foundation. Now, a very interesting coincidence [drumroll... are you guys ready for this bombshell?], during the same time while you worked at Сорос foundation, in 2006-2013, you were also a U.S. Embassy employee [got 'em]. //
Nikol Pashinyan has resigned.
Tavush stretches all the way to Russia.
Bagrat srbazan becomes the Supreme Leader of Historical Soil & Water and the Generalissimos of Slow-Melting Candles... and of course removes the speed cameras from highways.
OPPOSITION MP (continues): With this biography, how do we know you are not an agent of foreign influence?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: I was not an "employee" at the Soros Foundations. Other famous figures have served on the Board [mentions a famous doctor]. Everyone who was part of the Board had duties but it was not really an "employment". As for my simultaneous work with the U.S. Justice Department, there was no conflict with my membership or presidency at the Board because the latter was fully a public activity and we were only given a symbolic sum to compensate for our expenses; we are talking about less than $100/mo. I will let you be the judge regarding an agent of influence. There is a lot that's missing from my biography that read here [lists some boring constitutional research work, etc.].
OPPOSITION MP: You keep being "promoted" by the ruling party without having the chance to finish your terms. The longest job you've ever held was at the Сорос Foundation - 8 years. The brother of the head of the Anti-Corruption Committee, who is about to join the CC, cannot be impartial. Again, what guarantees can you present that you are not a [Western] agent?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: Your expectation for guarantees stems from the assumption that the [Open Society Foundations] were engaged in activities other than the ones they were actually engaged in. I won't present any "guarantees" because there is no "threat" to begin with. As I've said, that part of my biography has always been discussed publicly and the activities were public and covered by the press.
RULING MP: In your speech you spoke about the judiciary in the U.S. and brought examples. The U.S. doesn't have a Constitutional Court. Don't you think we should also merge the Constitutional and [Cassations Court] with the upcoming referendum to have one Supreme Court with corresponding chambers?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: I support having one unified body like in the U.S., or clarifying the duties to prevent each body from interfering with the other. Lengthy answer.
OPPOSITION MP: A person [in Kirants] received permission [from USSR] to build a house and live in it. Then the [Armenian] government told him there was a mistake [after the clarification of borders]. Some 50 years after this incident, what would your verdict be in this case?
CANDIDATE KHACHATURYAN: I understand the context. This issue is the task of the Prime Minister and Foreign Minister and we cannot interfere in each other's institutions. I assume there will be a peace agreement eventually that will be sent to the Constitutional Court for examination, therefore I will refrain from making prejudgments now in order to be allowed to take part in future processes.
full video, source, source,

anti-corruption: Armenian authorities conclude that luxury Dubai property belonging to former regime MP's relative was not obtained illegally by him therefore will not be sized as part of an asset forfeiture case

Mher Sedrakyan (Tokhmakhi Mher) is a Serj-era MP whose family is going through an asset forfeiture case worth ֏7.5 billion ($19.3 million) that includes 22 real estate properties, cars, and company shares registered under his name and the names of immediate family members.
Additionally, investigative journalists recently found a luxury property in Dubai registered under the ex-MP's relative. Authorities have concluded that he is not the true ownebeneficiary of this Dubai apartment, therefore it won't be seized.
source,

the army concludes exercises for commanders

Context in May 14 news digest. The defense ministry says they have noted improvements and deficiencies and will take steps to correct them.
source,

Defense Minister Papikyan visited the frontlines and the newly built fortifications: PHOTO

The army continues to dig, asphalt, and build.
source,

Armenia's Foreign Minister met the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency during an international forum

ROSSI: Effective cooperation has been established between Armenia and the IAEA. We discussed several issues on the bilateral agenda, oncology and radiation medicine, safety, and reliable operation of the Armenian NPP.
MIRZOYAN: We plan to extend the lifespan of Metsamor NPP until 2036 while exploring new opportunities.
source,

Armenian lawyers went a strike on Tuesday to protest a bill that would move them from a turnover tax-based system to a VAT-based taxation

Context on the gray economy and why the government wants to gradually abolish the turnover tax system in May 2 news digest.
A group of lawyers said on Tuesday that their 5% turnover tax [for annual turnover under ֏119M] will become 10% this year, and in 2025 they will be required to switch to a 20% VAT/18% profit tax. The cost of legal services for many clients could increase by over 38%, they warned.
The Ombudsman and the Justice Ministry reportedly oppose this bill by the Finance Ministry.
source, source, source, source,

video shows the new payment terminals in Yerevan subway station

They plan to replace all gates next month. The Soviet-era tokens (zheton) are being replaced with QR codes, an app, and later - bank cards.
All stations will have payment terminals to purchase QR tickets. It prints out a paper with QR. Telcell's app lets you buy a ticket and instantly get a QR on the phone's screen.
Seniors who can't use "high-tech" can approach the token sellers and get a QR paper instead of a token.
video,

Yerevan will host an exhibition on Charles Aznavour’s 100th anniversary

Hundreds of rare artifacts will present the life and legacy of the legendary artist.
Location: National Museum-Institute of Architecture
Date: May 22-July 22
source,

Germany wants to purchase an Armenian man

Dortmund Borussia is interested in the services of Armenian national Edward Spertsyan as a replacement for departing Marco Reus.
During this season, midfielder Spertsyan has played 32 matches, scored 11 goals, and made 7 assists. His ass is worth €18 million.
source,

I am going to put this at the start so no one wastes their time; don't expect a reply every day, it will probably average more like once a week.
Now, sometimes, on my days off or on high mental health days, it can be a couple of times a day, but that isn't something I can promise on a regular basis.
If that isn't going to work for you, that's fine. Just you have been warned upfront.
I won't ghost you, though. If it ever comes up that it will be less than once a week, I will communicate that. That shouldn't be the case, but emergencies come up from time to time, or things at work get extra hectic (when inventory comes up or holidays in particular) sometimes.
I am open to suggestions.
-+-
About Me;
●Female (and that is what I mostly play).
●In my early 30's.
●Role-playing for almost 20 years.
●I like to use face claims, and sometimes I'll make visuals for outfits and stuff, too.
●I like to write profiles for my characters, just a habit left over from the InvisionFree/ProBoards days.
●I usually match the length of my partner, but sometimes I'll go longer or shorter.
●I like tropes, especially the Gloomy/Sunshine pairing and the Good Guy/Bad Guy pairing.
●Full Time Manager at a Department Store.
●Central Daylight Time/GMT-5.
●Discord is Elinoire
Wanna know anything else? Feel free to ask.
Requirements;
●Play M if you plan on doing romance. Any gender is fine for anything else. Doesn't matter your real life gender.
●Be over 18, the closer to 30 the better.
●Use past tense and third person.
●Have patience and be understanding.
●Be willing to give a small profile of your character if you don't use face claims.
●I am not a perfectionist, but please at least spell things correctly.
-+-
While I have a lot of fandoms I want to try, I'd prefer OC's over canon characters for the majority, so assume that's the rule unless stated otherwise since I do have a few ideas with Fandom Canon/Canon and Canon/OC.
Unless a particular pairing is stated, these don't necessarily have to be just romance or whatever. We can do any genre. I do really like romance and will probably default that as my main idea, but if you aren't up for that, just say so before we start plotting.
Fandoms I Want Right Now;
Strike Out means I've already filled it.
Star Wars; particularly the SWTOKOTOR timeline.
Fallout; I have OCs for FO3 and FONV, but I'd be willing to try any timeline. I've played FO1, FO2, FO3, FONV, FO4, and FO76. I've also finished the show. I have my own ideas for a Fallout Florida as well, including a Universal Studiosknock-offf known as Hubris Studios that is used as a giant Raider base run by a toy/comic themed group.
Cyberpunk 2077; I haven't played the tabletop version of it, but I've played the video game and watched the Anime.
Harry Potter; I don't mind doing the Books era, but I like the idea of doing something from the Victorian era or something from 1920-1960. Modern would also be okay. Can be school based or just world based, so we could play students or play Aurors or anything from the world. Lemme know you consider Canon for modern timelines, though!
-+-
Heavily Inspired (or Fandom) Pairings; (I’d play the BOLD character)
☑ means keeping the original actors as the Faces
☒ means NOT keeping the original actors as the Faces
☐ means keeping the canon characters as the original actors' faces but not the OC
●Colin/Penelope (Brigerton) INSPIRED; [☑] Vampire “Colin”/Human “Pen”, a lot would stay the same, but a lot would change, too.
●Rick/Evie (The Mummy) INSPIRED; [☒] Original characters/versions of the Originals, but same storyline (maybe with tweaks or updates, we can discuss it).
●Malak/Female Revan (KOTOR) FANDOM; [☒] Particularly before the game takes place, maybe back when they were still in the Academy or early on during the first war.
●Kandomere/Female OC (Bright) FANDOM; [☐] I loved this character, and I think it would be fun to play out some stuff between him and a sunshiny Human character. Plus, I love the world of Bright.
●Daryl Dixon/Female OC (Walking Dead) FANDOM; [☐] Basically, this would be my own version of Beth Greene aka Lillibeth “Lilli” Greene. It would stay probably 100% Canon plot wise outside of a certain obvious death and would start during the time Daryl and Beth were out alone and go from there.
-+-
Other;
Pairings;
●Grumpy Slytherin/Sunshine Chubby Hufflepuff
●Racist Elf/Human
●Vampire/Human (I can play either)
●Light Side Jedi/Grey Jedi (I can play either)
●Sith/Light Side Jedi
●RaideVault Dweller
●Intelligent Supermutant/Human Wastelander
●Disfigured Large Knight/Sweet Petite Royal (inspired by Hound/Sansa, but I don't like how young Sansa is).
●Negan(TV Show Ver)AU-Reverend(OR)Sheriff/Female OC-Prostitute WESTERN AU
●HadesAU-Crime Boss/PersephoneAU CYBERPUNK AU
●HephaestusAU-BikeChlorisAU-Florist MODERN AU
●Frankenstein's MonsterAU/Human Outcast ANY AU
AU Options (<- similar time before or after ->);
●Cyberpunk
●High Fantasy
●Sci-Fi
●Modern
●Western
●<- Medieval ->
●<- Regency ->
●<- Victorian ->
●1920s-1930s
●1940s-1950s
●1960s-1970s
●1980s-1990s
●Gothic (Southern, Appalachian, Midwestern, South Western, etc)
If nothing here interests you, but you think we'd do well together on another idea, feel free to lemme know what you have in mind.
Some of my inspirational media right now to get an idea;
1883
28 Days/Weeks Later
AHS (especially Asylum and Freak Show)
Alien
Anything Anne Rice
Anything Guillermo Del Toro
Anything Michael Crichton
Blade Runner
Brigerton
Bright
Cyberpunk 2077/Edgerunners
DnD
Dragon Age: Inquisition
Elder Scrolls
Fable
Falling Skies
Fallout
Game of Thrones/House of Dragons
Harry Potter
Hellboy
Indiana Jones
Jonah Hex
Last of Us
Lord of the Rings
Mad Max
Matrix
Our Flag Means Death
Outsiders (WGN Show)
Peaky Blinders
Pitch Black/Riddick
Preacher
Primeval (UK TV Show)
Red Dead Redemption
Sons of Anarchy
Star Wars
The Mummy
The Walking Dead
True Blood
Universal Monsters
Vampire: The Masquerade
West World
Witcher

leaders #science #paper #hardware #event #feature #release #update #tool #scheduled

Yann LeCun underscores the significance of possessing a mental model of the world to plan a sequence of actions that fulfill a goal [1]. He also stresses the importance of high-bandwidth sensory input for effective communication, suggesting that text alone may not be sufficient for conveying information accurately [2]. LeCun has been discussing his proposed architecture JEPA, which he admits is challenging to implement [3]. He points out that generative architectures like Auto-Regressive LLMs are effective for text due to its discrete nature, but for continuous and high-dimensional signals like images and videos, joint embedding architectures (JEPA) are more effective [4].
LeCun criticizes the notion of measuring intelligence based on a single ability, using the examples of a chess-playing gadget and a symbolic manipulation program to illustrate his point [5]. He differentiates between retrieval and intelligence, emphasizing the importance of "innovative intelligence" in finding new solutions to novel problems [6]. LeCun believes that achieving Artificial General Intelligence (AGI) will not be a singular event, but rather a continuous progress towards more capable AI systems in various domains [7].
NVIDIA and Dell are partnering to transform enterprises at Dell Technologies World, an event showcasing the latest innovations in AI, multicloud, edge computing, and more [8]. NVIDIA is offering free certification opportunities at the event and focusing on generative AI, cloud services, AI enterprise solutions, and accelerated computing platforms [8]. The event will take place at The Venetian, Las Vegas, Nevada from May 20-23, with the keynote on May 20 at 10:00 a.m. PT [8].
Groq Inc is planning to increase their throughput daily to accommodate paid tier access, which will be available next month [9]. The company highlights the efficiency and speed boost achieved by using LPUs that act as routers and contain their own memory [10]. Groq Inc has been working hard on their enterprise program, establishing tiered services with a scheduled launch in June [11]. They have also shared educational content featuring solutions powered by Groq and LangGraph [12].
A detailed analysis of API providers for Llama 3 Instruct (70B) across performance metrics including latency, throughput, and price benchmarks providers such as Microsoft Azure, Amazon Bedrock, Groq, Together.ai, Perplexity, Fireworks, Deepinfra, Replicate, and OctoAI [13]. Groq and Fireworks are highlighted as the fastest providers in terms of throughput, while Groq and Deepinfra are noted as the most cost-effective providers [13].
1. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792091888905851069
2. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792106090135519732
3. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792111543657672826
4. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792112916302373247
5. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792113984096665877
6. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792115601193742596
7. Yann LeCun @ylecun https://twitter.com/ylecun/status/1792241250759774603
8. NVIDIA AI @NVIDIAAI https://twitter.com/NVIDIAAI/status/1792238797326786789
9. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1792062249638732002
10. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1792280209275687265
11. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1792321572331458831
12. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1792322151120339054
13. Groq Inc @GroqInc https://twitter.com/GroqInc/status/1792322933211509200

Hiya, I need help mathing the exp boosts I have specifically the overlapping of Heat of Battle and Squadron Battle Manual. I want to start off by explaining what EXP boosts I have in the beginning and then the EXP boosts I get when I apply these two items.
Okay lets play this out. I login and get prepared and think about the other EXP boosts that I have:

• I have Armoury Bonus which gives +100% exp when defeating enemies. This is automatically applied to jobs that are 10 levels lower than your highest job you have in your account. Note that once you hit level 80, and you have another job level 90, your armoury bonus on the other jobs gets reduced to half bonus.
  
  • I have access to Mentor exp bonus which gives me +___?% more exp in dungeons. You have to be in the novice network AND you have to party up with a Mentor when going to a dungeon. Note it only works up to level 80. The wiki doesn't tell me exactly how much exp you get... but i'm just going to calculate it at the very end
  • I have Rested EXP that gives +50% extra exp. You slowly gain rested exp the longer you're logged out from a sanctuary city. When you log back in, you can see your exp bar has a extra overlapping line to it.
  • I have my Azeyma's Earrings it gives +30% exp when my current job is level 90 and below
  • I eat my my meals which gives +3% exp 30 minutes duration. You can eat 2 at a time so that u only have to worry about that every hour.
  • This is Heat of Battle. Its a Free Company action that gives extra exp in dungeons after you defeat a mini-boss or boss. Theres 3 of them: version 1, 2, or 3. They give either +5%, +10% or +15% extra exp in that order. The link i provided is the version II (10%). I double check this and consistently my Free Company runs this everyday but sometimes they do version 3.

This is Squadron Battle Manual. An item you consume that gives you +15% extra exp in dungeons after you defeat mini-boss or boss. This also has a description of , "Overwrites company actions with similar effects." Note that I will initially have this off. I will use this when im going to kill a 2nd boss to compare.
I ran msq roulette with a mentor and killing the 1st boss gave me +313% Right before the 2nd boss, I used the Sqaudron Battle Manual, killing 2nd boss gave me +328% Does that mean Mentor EXP bonus gives me 130% EXP?
Heres the weird part:
My Free Company SOMETIMES run Heat of Battle version 3 which gives +15% instead of the usual +10%. When this happens:
I would run roulette with a mentor and killing the 1st boss gave me +328% already Right before the 2nd boss, I used the Squadron Battle Manual, killing 2nd boss still gave me +328%
Help me make this make sense thank you.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2151860005?t=0h25m13s
I don't have a video clip of running roulette when my free company does Heat of Battle 3, let me know if you want me to make one.

Not a true story!
Hi my name is Yuki and I have a brother and his name is Duri and he is a basketball team and this is how made a bond with his basketball team ok well umm so from the beginning when i was 11 ok i’m going to school I said you mean we are going to school said Duri yeah yeah whatever let’s go to school don’t act like you are the oldest remember so what if you are one year older it means that i am the more responsible child no just cause you are the oldest does not mean that you are the more responsible child oh yes it does no it does not oh really who takes care of you who takes care of the house fine you win but .…never mind let’s not get distracted Yuki said ok whatever at school I wonder what Yuki was about to say I was to scared to say that I was getting bullied can I go to bathroom yes you may Duri thank you Duri wash’s his face oh hey Duri you are working with Jey sweet hey Duri over here hey bro what’s up with the mood nothing just some weird stuff happened ok let’s work on the project later oh hi Jey hey Yuki how are you? good you? Perfect and what is up with Duri hi what are you talking about just a funny video yeah it super funny whatever let’s go get lunch ok but what is lunch today fries or chips btw they are in a private school ok thank you for telling me your welcome hello am i not here do you think that you are not here? No cause you are talking to me so then what does that mean? That i am here exactly Jey yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry can we go to the cafeteria please yes let’s go I’m hungry me too I hate waiting in line it’s always long I know right ok thank god that I’m not the only one think’s that oh yeah you and Duri have a basketball game today yeah we do at 4:48 pm you remember of course I do and it ends at 6:00 pm wow that’s a long game isn't well I’m coming to it we want us to win this game Yeah we will do our best for everyone
At the game ok you can do this I know you can ok everybody follow my lead yes sir! Captain am I going to be on the court yes you are going to be on it right now okay I’ll be right there come on guys is everybody where they are supposed to be Yes! Ok then let’s start calm down Jey pull yourself together you got yourself into this and there is no pulling back Rowan oh it’s Rowan he’s also Duri’s friend he is a first year in basketball and Duri is a second year so he is almost in high school PASS TO ME ROWAN Duri and Jey are both 12 and they are second years in basketball so they really good at it and practice everyday plus there’s going to be new characters in a bit don’t mess this up PASS THE BALL TO ME here we GO COME ON JEY I KNOW YOU CAN MAKE US WIN! I...made it YES you did amazing out there Jey thank you captain your welcome well we need to go now we will anyways meet her out there yeah true I’m coming after they went to the locker room man my legs hurt don’t blame you same here so are we going Celebrate Yes but we need one more person to celebrate And who is that going to be My sister she can be a little mean Her name is Yuki she'll introduce herself to you I am excited to meet her I bet you she's also excited to meet youI'm shy so I don't think I will talk to her that much come on man she is not going to kill you you all know that I do NOT talk to a lot of people but she is kind to people SO don’t need to be scared from her OH YES I DO NEED TO JEY NO YOU DO NOT HEY STOP IT THE BOTH OF YOU NOW what’s taking them so long I wonder if they will like me or hate me well I’m going to need introduce myself
Hi Jasmine Hi Yuki, how are you today?Good and bad Why?A girl made fun of me man I just wish that the world could be better you know yeah I do a lot so much that you would not Believe It Hey sis hey Duri this is my team team this my sister Yuki Hi Yuki Hi let me introduce myself I’m Yuki and I’m one year younger than Duri and I CAN be mean to the people WHO are mean to me so you don’t need to be scared from me and I want to introduce my friend Jasmine hi I’m Pleased to meet you all I am Yuki's friend and we have been friends for 4 years 4 years wow you guys must Know a lot about each other By the way I have a question when did you meet by the way I would like to know well I was doing a race with some other kids and Jasmine asked if she could join and I tripped in the middle of the race and she helped me up and all the other kids left me cuz they want to win the race and she helped me and I thanked her and We became friends And look at us now Those kids were Sad when they figured out that she fell and that they didn't bother to help her and they were a bit angry at themselves and then I told them to stay away from her cuz if you don't be nice to her then just get out of here
And that is a true story you could just ask me her brother for 11 years And Yuki has favor to ask you guys I would like to know why you join the basketball team My name is Lev And I joined the basketball team cuz it was my passion and I liked it when I was a child so that's why I Joined the basketball team I am Tyga I joined the basketball team cuz my brother used to do it and he taught me how to do it and it kind of was fun for me and he taught me he's really cool tricks and he just made it way more funner and easier to learn so I was happy cuz he taught me a lot of things So that's why I joined the basketball team I am Liam and I joined the basketball team cuz I joined multiple other sports and they were just kind of boring to me and I just didn't do basketball so I tried it out basketball cuz I thought it would be fun and nice to join basketball and would be a nice passion to do cuz I haven't tried it yet and I tried it I was bad at the beginning very bad and five months later I started shooting and I was very good at defense so that's why I joined Hi my name is Lucas and I joined the basketball team cuz my story is kind of like Liam's I used to play soccer and then I got kicked out cuz I was very bad at it and I was very good at using my hands so I decided to join the basketball team I hated the fact that I was terrible at the beginning and I was bare8ly good at using the hands for shooting and it was just like that for a few months I don't know how much it was I don't remember and I met Duri and the others and they taught me a bit how to shoot and I'm here now I’m Rowan I joined the basketball team cuz I wanted to play it with Duri And the others plus they taught me a lot of new tricks that's our stories thank you for sharing your stories guys but we sould go to the restaurant yeah we sould go.
after they went to restaurant and celebrated man I’m stuffed same don’t blame ya time to go back home seriously it’s 5:00 PM you kidding man but it was nice meeting you all today I had so much fun with you guys I hope we can do this again sometime later yeah I will try to get some free time I’m off friday let me check yeah i’m off friday what about you guys i’m also off friday I think everyone is off yeah I think so to so we meet again friday after school ok sure why not can I invite Jasmine ummm sure why not I think it will be more fun the more the merrier when they all go home I’m home where were you? You said that you were going to a basketball game we had to two games you went to celebrate didn’t you SO YOU DIDN’T EVEN COME TO MY BASKETBALL GAME hey wait I’m sorry my boss didn’t let me come to it LEAVE ME ALONE ok I will sometime later hi welcome who did she bring now hey Rowan can we come in …..fine come in. why did you guys come well friends are always there for you right come on you know we are there in the right time you can say no but you know it’s true yeah I know it’s true but how did you know that i’m upset your mom told us oh ok well thank you guys for coming to comfort me I really appreciate it your always welcome Rowan.
Well bye see you guys friday at 7:00 AM bye see ya friday GOOD MORNING DURI AHHH WHAT THE HECK omg why so Early in the morning it’s 7:00 a.m. just go back to bed and that's a no cuz it's Friday stupid did you forget we have to go to Train for basketball with the others Oh my God but why so early in the morning it's literally 7:00 a.m. can you stop being annoying I'm not being annoying you are because you're out of bed and wash your freaking face and then we Gotta Go the basketball court for training I was ready to go to Tell mom she whoop Out of bed if you don't want that to happen then get out of bed and wash our face I have the most annoying sister in the world okay fine but just go get ready in then I will get ready right after you cuz I don't take 5 hours to get ready I don't take 5 hours to get ready for your information I don't okay but you do you with that messy hair look at it it's like a freaking tornado My hair is not a tornado talk about yours in the morning Can you just get dressed please we Gotta Go Fine just leave the room ok 30 minutes later Okay I'm done finally okay now let's go because I don't have time for this and waiting for you to get done I was done 10 minutes ago Is there a problem yeah we're 10 minutes late cuz of you You hate it so much there's the door Oh ok let's go She doesn't understand a single thing Don't forget it's from 7:00 till 1:00 pm At the basketball court hey Yuki hey Duri hi hey oh you guys are here Hello I got invied to help you guys train WHAT! Yup you do know that it is hard to do all of this by myself
After everyone got to the basketball court, Ok everyone listen up Yuki and Jasmine is going to tell you guys have to work on. Ok so Lev,Liam and Rowan have to work on offense Tyga,Lucas,,Jey and Duri have to work on defense ok get to work. After training for 6 hours You will be doing this training for 3 months. WHAT ONE DAY WAS ENOUGH Look around Yuki the courts floor IS FILLED WITH SWEAT AND IS NOT JUST THE FLOOR BUT ALSO US you wanna get better right ? Yeah but this intense TO intense Liam said then went to get his water yeah Tyga said gasping for air can you at least make it 4 hours fine you want 4 hours you will get 4 hoursTHANK YOU a bit of the pain is gone nice i guess you guys still have to do this for 3 months my legs are in so much pain see you guys tomorrow at 7:00 hey Yuki can I to you yeah give me a sec…. Ok what is it? You have a bruise on your head what no i don’t tell me are you getting bullied……. Y-yes but please don't tell Duri ok but I can help you how? After telling her his plan WHAT YOU WANT BE MY FAKE BOY- shhh you do know that Duri will kill you yes here it’s my number I’ll tell you the rest on text ok after they all went home hey hi so your plan is to be MY fake boyfriend yes that's my plan do you realize how Duri is going to kill you when he finds out that YOU are my boyfriend well fake boyfriend yes i do so how about you keep this a secret just between you and me huh even if we do don’t you think that he might find out? I don’t know how to answer that of course you don’t why would you huh oh right you don’t know anything! Can you stop being so mean NO i will meet you tomorrow at school ok fine see you tomorrow see you at school the next day so what do you say? I say that I don’t agree with any of this but I was forced to do this so ….I-I will be…your..your girl-friend ok a deal is a deal so you know if you tell Duri I will die so how about you not tell him please with whip cream and a cherry on top ugh fine I won't tell him thank you or you can tell him you just have to tell him why yeah he will still kill you either way hey whatcha talking about AHHHHH OMG WHAT ARE YOU A GHOST OMG LEV ? sorry Lev said in a sorry tone YOU BETTER BE what's with the mood I’m not a morning person oh that makes a lot of sense anyway Rowan Duri wants to see you why to be exact Rowan said with a nervous tone yeah why Yuki said worrying i don't know he didn’t say why well i'll go with him okay Lev said before he left do you think he found out no he wasn't in the room at the time you sure YES MY GOD just how am i not dead bro you're going to be fine

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I have a video that I need translated from Japanese to English and I can't find an AI that will do it. The video is about 15 minutes long and 67 GB. I would prefer a free AI but if I have to pay it's no big deal.

TLDR: THEORY: Jake Doolittle is a hater by nature and that’s what he liked about Ethan before he became a fallen fan. Ethan’s rehabilitation of his hater ass bitch nature caused Jake to dislike/resent him and that is the events leading up to the hit piece which was Jake ultimately aiming his hater ass bitch nature towards a man who used to be an idol of his.
I rewatched the comeback ep where they reviewed Jake Doolittle’s bizarre video and I had a couple thoughts that have been living rent free in my head. Since they mentioned him on the pod recently I thought I would write it out here to hopefully never think of it again
I used to watch some of his videos and I did enjoy his channel but I grew tired of it after a little time passed. Sometimes he would criticize deserving people and sometimes people I didn’t see as deserving. There is one thing that was a constant: he is a hater ass bitch.
I can be a hater ass bitch for sure but I pick and choose who I give that mental energy to and also allow nuance in my perspective on people in general. Jake seems to just enjoy putting others down and putting himself above them. I’ve taken a look at a few videos of his in the last 8 or 9 months and each time I end up turning it off within 5-10 minutes bc his vibes are just bad. Very smarmy and annoying and overall hateful
The whole “does he just not get jokes” as well as Hila’s hypothesis of him not being a real fan all wrap up in a different theory of mine.
First of all I do think he was a real fan bc he would go live directly after the live shows ended for a while and talk about the episodes or at least often mention it in some form, as well as almost always wearing teddy fresh.
Ethan tends to be very hyperbolic in his humor which I enjoy, and for the most part I think I can tell where his true perspective lies. What I mean by that is he may have a negative opinion about something but would play it up for comedic effect. My theory is Jake totally lacks that ability to distinguish what is sincere and what is not. I think he was a huge fan, but he didn’t totally understand the humor and thought that Ethan was literally outlandishly hateful and related to that perspective.
In the last year or two it seems Ethan has made an effort to mend bridges and is remorseful for some of the hater ass bitch behavior on a case by case basis. For example: the beef squashing episodes. I would imagine this would cause some confusion or perceived betrayal for Jake, which in my opinion makes the drastic shift from obsessive fan to vocal detractor make sense with a little bit of financial incentive mixed in.
Making some extra money on an H3 hate video on top of being able to posture as superior to someone who he had looked up to for a while (and has switched it up so he is no longer relatable to Doolittle) seems like it would be enticing based on my impression of Jake from being a fan who watched all his videos for probably a few months, as well as some brief viewing of him out of curiosity after I stopped watching consistently.
I acknowledge that I personally know no one involved and this is all purely speculation to be clear. Like many of us I was truly shocked at the absurdity of his claims in that video and I guess this is just me trying to make it make sense. The only thing that isn’t compatible with this theory for me is the blatant misrepresentation of that truth, but he did include the context in his video that to me makes it clear Ethan is joking on his COMEDY podcast. I think there’s probably a little bit of cynicism involved, but mostly just him not getting the joke.
If you read this whole thing that’s shocking to me but I hope I could provide a mildly amusing alternative motive for the bizarre hit piece.
Peace and love ✌️

I built a writing platform called Scipress.io. It's like Medium, but better ;)
I'd like to find someone who can write content and drive traffic to the platform. Content should be original and niche, not generated by AI. Your article(s) should also have some stuff gated behind a paywall.
Once completed, you should promote your content. I'll pay for your first 20 subscribers. E.g. if you charge $10/mo, I'll give 20 people each $10 to access your content for free for month 1. This is just an example - there are different ways to structure this.
If interested, DM me your stats and ideas. Note that we'll need to do a video chat to go over details before commencing any work.

Let's start by saying that this is my first (official) relationship ever.
A bit of background:
I've always had trouble socially relating to people; I'm so insecure and afraid of rejection, and I also had strict parents. Throughout the years, I've gained a bit of freedom for myself but it's not enough (I still live my parents).
I've always wanted to get close to people and have friends (I currently have just one) and a relationship, but I'm also afraid that I'm not interesting enough, that I won't know what to talk about, etc. So my strategy has always been to act cold towards people and wait for them to approach me first. If they approach me, it must mean that they have at least some interest in me...
In the past, I often found myself daydreaming about how a loving relationship would look like: he would love me a lot, accept me for who I am, not judge me for my physical little imperfections, have great emotional and physical chemistry, and I would love him back just the same. I know it might sound too perfect, but that's what I know I've always craved.
I have had a very few relationships/situationships where the men just never asked me to be their girlfriend and make things official. I think those "relationships" failed in part because I was so cold towards them even if inside I wanted to kiss or hug them first. I always hoped they asked me to be their girlfriend. Also, I always stayed till the end, until THEY didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
So with my current boyfriend, all things seem different. I met him at a mall. HE approached me first. At first I wasn't really attracted to him physically but he started telling me about his life and his varied life experiences. He seemed interesting. We exchanged numbers. Then we started going out. He's very different from me. He has a different clothing style than mine, he likes urban music, he has tattoos and has 1 piercing.
My very first impression of him was that he looked like the bad-boy type, so I didn't think he was interested in anything serious. But right on the second date, he mentioned he was looking for someone who really cared for him. He said something like: "it's nice to have someone that cares for you, even for the little things and even asks if you ate already, if you slept well, etc." Before that moment, I didn't have high expectations and was probably ready to accept whatever 🤦🏻‍♀️.
As time went by, I started liking more things on him, finding a few things in common. Until he asked me to be his girlfriend after one month of hanging out. I had waited for that moment for so long, and it finally came, but I didn't know how to feel. I felt kind of sad. Even though I knew he and me were looking for a serious relationship, I felt fearful, but I kept going.
We've shared beautiful moments so far. I feel at home, peaceful, respected, and loved when I'm with him. But sometimes I catch myself judging him for small imperfections. I'm physically attracted to him and we have good chemistry there, but I can't help noticing what he does "wrong." When we text, he sometimes writes with bad grammar and I can't help but judge him inside. Sometimes he sends me videos of him dancing happily for me, and I can't help but think "how isn't he afraid of being silly in front of me or even others?" I believe me judging him might stem from the same type of judgment I received when growing up. I just hate it and don't want to be like this. I know no one is perfect and yet my mind is obsessed with perfection.
My BF has had a difficult life and experiences, and yet he smiles all the time, has fun, is free, and has lots of love to give. He even says he loves me, but I don't feel sure to say it back to him. My mind tells me that I'm probably just using him and getting his love while I'm not able to love him back. I feel like a bad person for that. I do care for him. I've cried with him listening to how he feels when sad of bc of past hurtful events. When I look at him, I see someone sincere. I love to have him close, hug him, kiss him, feel his odor, listen to his voice, listen to him singing. Yet I have these other horrible thoughts that I can't let go.
I feel like I wasn't really ready for a relationship as I believed, and that there's a lot of work I need to do on myself, but I don't want to lose him either. I can't decide if I really like him, if I'm obsessed, if I'm dependant or what.
Need some advice on what to do and hear others perspective on this.
Sorry for the long post. I tried to give enough details 😅. Thanks in advance.

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Lia Marie Johnson Lilbabysasha Lilchiipmunk Lilmochidoll lilsummerhoe Liquidpyro Lisa ASMR Livstixs Lizzy Wurst Liz Katz Lucifersexdoll Luxury Girl Mackenzie Jones mackzjoness Madison Beer Main Categories Maitland Ward Makoshake Malu Trevejo Mangomay Maria Bella Mari Grace matildem Mati Marroni Mayana Katherine Megan Guthrie Megan McCarthy Megan Rain Megan Samperi meggyeggo Megnutt02 Meg Turney Mekkk Melina Goransson MeowVicka Meowycake Meryl Sama Mia Khalifa Mia Malkova Micaela Schafer Michelle Rabbit Mikaela Pascal Mikaela Testa Miley Cyrus MissBuscemi MissSykeology MissyPwns Miss Alice Miss Bo MizzyCyn Molly Eskam Momokun Momotama Monica Corgan Moon Maison Morgan Vera Morgpie Moriah Mills MsFiiire Mspuiyi mutanastasia Nadia Jay Nadya Tolokonnikova Nagisake Naked Bakers Nala Ray Narduchita Natalie Gibson Natalie Roush Neiva Mara Neonpuddles Nicki Minaj Nicole Lawson Nicolle Off Grid Nikki Eliot Nipple Slips Noel Leon Novaruu Nylalueeth Thorne Hot4Lexi Katiana Kay Christina Khalil Mackenzie Jones victoryaxo mati marroni megnut corinnakopf sarii sariixo matildem belledelphine Amanda Cerny Sommer Ray Amouranth Belle Delphine Mikaelatesta Megnutt Breckie Hill Riley Reid Melimtx Katiana Kay Realskybri Corinna Kopf Jadebabii Noelle Leyva Blahgigi Liliana Hearts Sonya Blaze Caroline Zalog Jenni Neidhart Trippie Bri Pamibaby Belle nude kkvsh sextape japanese adult video first time anal videos free ass this will make you cum big dick bitch full naked sex best porn squirting pussy girls sucking teen xxx hd leaks corinna kopf addison erin andrews ver pornos hot ball sexy de belle delphine emma watson homemade games sexo shaking gay eating black older how to eat cock en español zendaya nelly store near me worship spring twerk shaved suck blowjob paris hilton on huge wife Mei Sierra Skye Siew Pui Yi Silkyvinyl Skye Blue skylarmaexo Skylar Mae Skylar Rae Sky Bri Slim Whispers Snapchat Sommer Ray Sophie Mudd rittfit Tia Judd TikTok Tinslee Reagan Touki00 Trisha Paytas Tropicgun Tru Kait Twitch Tyga Youtube Yuuie Zoella Zoe Heiler Zoe Maguire Zoie Burgher Savannah Bond Indigo White Riley Reid Sofia Gomez Abigaiil Morris TEEN LEAK PACK teen young Abigail Mandler Abigail Ratchford Abigale Mandler Acidblue Adison Briana Adriana Chechik aestheticallyhannah Alena Witch Alexandra emilina astridwett nickiibaby victoryaxo leak vids leaks photos School girl naked Belle Delphine nude Snapchat MEGA Young Snapchat leaks Celeb leaks sextape Snapchat Boobs Hannahowo real Slut twitch streamer Erica Jasmin Omegle leak Telegram twerking ebony pyt pics hardcore porn link Snapchat MEGA Telegram Leaks hannahowo belle delphine corinna kopf amouranth of free leaks nikacadoavocado wettmelons realskybri kendrakarter fwtina tina_042 emilina astridwett nickiibaby victoryaxo leak vids leaks photos School girl naked Belle Delphine nude Snapchat MEGA Young Snapchat leaks Celeb leaks sextape Snapchat Boobs Hannahowo real Slut twitch streamer Erica Jasmin Omegle leak Telegram twerking ebony pyt pics hardcore porn link Snapchat MEGA Telegram Leaks hannahowo belle delphine corinna kopf amouranth of free leaks nikacadoavocado wettmelons realskybri smoneyordie veronica perasso toni storm sweetie fox cecilia rose skylar blue rae lil black hannah jo jenni neidhart kristen hancher misswarmj mikafans jessica nigri lauren alexi Addison Ivy Belinda Nohemy Amanda Cerny Realskybri Missbo Bella Rayee Trippie Bri Breckie Hill Katiana Kay Caroline Zalog Daisykeech Sonya Blaze Waifumia Megnutt Urfavbellabby Utahjazz Hannahowo Jadebabii Mackenzie Jones Elle Brooke Belle Delphine Riley Reid Melimtx Katie Sigmond Morgan Jadebabiihttps://www.redgifs.com/watch/surefootedsteeplangur

Hello there! Welcome to what is likely going to be a long, rambly post. I'm going to structure this as though I were answering job interview questions, because let's face it, dating is a glorified job interview for a relationship/getting laid.
Oh, and to save some of you the time reading this (though I did spend a while writing it mind you), I'm 5'5, and it's perfectly fine if that doesn't work for you. I have preferences too! Anyway...
Tell me About Yourself.
Ah, this one is a classic to start off with, glad you asked (or told me to elaborate? Same idea)!
First and foremost, I am a nerd. My favorite day of the week is Sunday, because that's when my D&D game happens (It's actually Pathfinder, but I say D&D because most people are not into the hobby), and this account is named after the character I play in that very game! Feel free to ask for more details at the risk of an overly excited explanation. I also play video games, usually single-player CRPGs, but lately I've been playing Hades and I like being on voice call when I do that.
Professionally I'm... still in school. Here's a lengthy, detailed discussion as to why that is: anxiety sucks. Phew, that was so lengthy, glad that's over! Anyway, I'm a nuclear engineering major and plan to graduate in 4 semesters. In all seriousness, I don't mind going over the full story once we're talking.
What are Some of Your Hobbies?
Lists are helpful for this one! So here we go:

• D&D. Yes I mentioned it already, I'm doing it here again because it's so nice I'll mention it twice! Also, I find that lists are more impressive with more bullet points. Longer bullet points too, that makes it look even more impressive.
• Hockey. When I'm not looking for potential mates, I spend my time shitposting on the hockey subreddit. I've been to 3 NHL games so far and plan to go to more!
• Anything related to animals. For reference, some of the channels I watch on YouTube are Snake Discovery, Clint's Reptiles and Girl with the Dogs.
• Tech stuff. Electric cars, phones, gadgets, all of it is at least of some casual interest to me.

What do You Want in a Potential Partner?
Someone who's not an asshole, shares some interests with me, willing to do some basic stuff (sharing a picture, voice calling, video calling eventually) and treats me with respect. Honestly, not a long list. Physically, I would prefer someone who's of a thinner-average body type as that is what I am. I've made exceptions to this before though, so if you feel that I'm irresistible and not entirely obnoxious, feel free to reach out.
What I want the most though? Just intimacy. I think that's what we all want at the end.
What do You Look Like?
I'm 5'5 as mentioned before, 125 lbs, white, brown hair, green eyes, and have glasses that might as well be made of aquarium glass. Hopefully that gives you a vivid enough picture for now, but an actual picture is worth 1000 words so once we've exchanged a few messages I can share that.
And that, dear reader, is the end of my hopefully well-formatted and not-at-all-obnoxious wall of text. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope to hear from you! If I don't, have a great whatever time of day it happens to be in your timezone!

Webtoons has done another update and I'd like to touch on it from a Canvas creators perspective. Rewards Ads is a way for creators to get money from readers watching video ads before reading individual episodes. For Webtoon's own info about Reward ads, you can read HERE.
And here's why if you make the threshold, you should DEFINITELY apply:
Webtoons is lowering its minimum threshold from 200k views to 100k views. While yes, 100k is still a hard threshold to make, the reason why I want more creators to know about this is because it's ACTUALLY good for creators.
Webtoons has done a lot of shady things so I think it's important to make a distinction when they actually offer something good with *practically no string attached.
Yes, webtoon will take its portion of the money you get from the ads (I have no idea what this percentage is).
Yes, your comic will have to be viewed critically to make sure it's complying with Webtoons rules. So if you've been just squeaking by, you'll be putting webtoon's direct attention on your comic.
Yes, the system of how to post the videos and how to post them at a standard time every week is harder because you have to submit them ahead of time to be analyzed.
BUT, it's totally free for readers to support creators by watching the ads, and depending on what your viewership is like you can make a decent amount of money from it.
The reason for this is because webtoon's user base is so high, it's a little like youtube in that they can generate LOTS of views.
In April I made about 200$ USD from Rewards Ads because readers watched the video before each episode. It's not enough to survive on but for posting a couple episodes early every month, it's pretty good!
The reason webtoons is lowering the threshold is because they make money from your episodes as well, BUT I genuinely believe (unlike superlikes) this is a GOOD sustainable way to earn money from posting to webtoons without having to be an originals creator or having to resort to superlikes.

Hi everyone! First, thanks in advance for reading and your generous help.
TL;DR:
I'm diving into my first nano tank and want to do it right with your expert advice. I’ve mapped out a detailed plan and budget, but I need your tips, warnings, humiliation and cheaper alternatives. Help me avoid rookie mistakes and create a beautiful, easy-to-maintain setup I won't want to change right away. I have my parameters here, and details in the comments.
FFT channel, if you're out there, this is your fault and I'd like either your wisdom or your apology.
Why am I doing this?

• Up-front planning and budget estimates, plus feedback from experienced owners, can save me long-term. Please skim or read through, poke holes, tell me how to do it cheaper, etc.
• Most "10 gallon aquascape for under $75!" videos assume you're already in the hobby and don't include the full cost. I'm starting from scratch and want quality items when possible, so I'm estimating the real time/cost for absolute beginners who may need more stuff because they don't have the experience/intuition yet.

My goals:

• A nano tank I can enjoy long-term without needing constant upgrades.
• Work to my strengths and weaknesses (OCD) by heavily investing time and effort now for a cheap, quick-growing, lovely, easy-to-maintain tank in the future.
• Minimize spending, clutter, waste, disappointment, killing live things.
• Don't get so overwhelmed, only add new things when I know I'm ready.

My overall plan:

• Plan, plan, plan, budget, estimate, then post and grovel for your attention and advice. (check)
• Use free/cheap equipment, supplies, leftovers from local hobbyists.
• Keep the tank simple but high impact: All-black rock and substrate hardscape, 2-4 quick-growing beginner plants, 1-2 beginner-level species in pops of red.

About my environment and experience:

• Tank will be in my home office (finished basement in Brooklyn) with temperature variations and high humidity in summer. Limited space, no car, no access to free hardscape materials, must avoid pests.
• I already have a pest: Cat (uninterested in fish, never jumps on counters, has asthma).
• Many good LFSs and a dense population for second-hand supplies via FB, craigslist, /aquatrades, freecycle, etc.
• Experience: Kept guppies alive as a child, fostered stray cats, kept a foster fail alive despite a 100% fatal illness (FIP). Tenacious with living things but bad with house plants (cats helped), just succeeded for the first time with Sea Monkeys (!).
• I only learned what aquascapes and nano tanks were 5 days ago.

For each step, I love to know:

• What am I missing or oveunder planning/budgeting for?
• If you had 4+ hours a day for 4 weeks to start a new tank, how would you spend that time?
• Is there something you wish you'd have known when you were a total beginner?

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.

29th January 1967;

Port Arthur, SCS;

{Following our meeting last December…}
Through the battered streets, swept by the wailing winds of the storms of deep January, there was still the wail of protesters, fighting ever more closely, delivering punches in each other’s doorways. Port Arthur’s namesake, the port on the Lake called Superior, was the gateway through which one accessed the wider world from the SCS, and that fact was not lost upon particularly the MLS. It was no wonder they took the city to be so important - it was the most foreign city of the lot, so they had to override the population’s prior nationalities in order to advance their cause.
What nationality did not live within the city? The borders of the SCS had been closed off in 1952, but the prior torrent had already brought in every culture by then. There were the Scots, the Welsh, the Irish, the English, the French, the Norwegians, the Danish, the Finnish, the New Englanders, the Quebecois, the Maritimers, the many others, the world inside a city. For all that Sault was Canadian and that Fort William was Serene, Port Arthur was the city that held every other flavour of the (Northern Atlantic) world. As Gloria walked along the tarmac between the rows of housing, cheaply-erected to house the many, she did not feel a stranger one bit.
She had not a similar feeling since she had left the town of Stoke to the rising waters.
Even so, the few that were the protesters did their best to attract her, to whistle and to call out at her, because she was a woman and alone on the streets, with Mark typing frantically to his friend across the lake, as he tried to convey what he knew onwards towards the armed forces. That friend had his own mates, in higher places, and they had met a while ago. By now, he sulked by the St Mary’s, carrying his heavy loads, and Sault was a good place to sulk. All Mark had to confirm was that he was still in Sault, and not attracted by the offers of guaranteed accommodation and tax rebates if he decided to live and farm in the countryside. He just needed to know.
In the meantime, Gloria needed to seek out Lee, and to get through the city, walking was what was needed, and that was Mark’s idea which Gloria agreed with.
Thus, she trudged through the storms and the gales onwards into the docklands, to find her man. Well, finding the docklands was easy enough, since the high chain-fence was obvious enough with its notices in government typeface. Walking around far enough to the south allowed Gloria to find her entrance, and to find a helpful woman, one who worked at the front. She held all the keys, and all of the telephone wires, and, upon a quick one-button check of the video-monitoring system to Lee’s desk that showed him reading a book, the all-clear was given. “William is free to talk, I assume this will be on personal matters? I’ll give permission, it’s too stormy to do much more than read books anyway, he won’t get much. I’ll get someone to escort you.”
“Oh Lee, thank you ever so much. Mark and I are in Longuelac, but we’re staying in Port Arthur for the time being whilst he finds more work.”
“Ah cheers. Interesting that you’re here for work, didn’t know about the MLS and MS protests here, yep? Tis horrendous, but ah well, I live close enough to docks that they don’t hit me, all’s fine round these parts. Longuelac is a place for sure, that also work?” asked Lee rhetorically, drawing in all the information he required.
“Yes, all just work and money. I just want to live near our work rather than him use our money on fuel on his car just to get him to work. He thinks we only get higher-paying jobs just because of that car. I can’t see why a motorcycle wouldn’t work either, but maybe it’s storms like today that do it,” stated Gloria towards Lee, whom she knew wanted to draw in more of that lovely information.
“So… so… you like the Monde Suffit then? They have their 13-minute-city idea or whatever, it’s about reducing distance to workplaces, by putting work right near the homes. It’s stuff like that which the MS like, but then you’re with Mark, yep?” suggested Lee, putting the pieces together.
“Mark wants to set up a rival for the MS, but upon similar principles, because Gatley and Hyhurst are being too idealistic and that won’t get stuff right. But his idea is… uhm…” tailed off Gloria.
“Still taking shape, yep? Well, look, I have a bit about Matias, so say that to Mark when he opens… this letter. It’ll have a bit more, and you can do more with it. I’m with Mark, because he met myself on the Samaria. He’ll do it, I’m sure.”
“You think, Lee?”
“I do think Gloria, thank you very much. He knows too much. I bet you every organisation wants him. What’s more they want him gone. Now, that’s all I have. Brave the weather, it’ll be better in a few hours once the morning’s over.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, and good luck. It’s not like Mark’d need it, but you will, just in dodging the protesters.”
{Agricultural Subsidies To Low From None}

Re-post/Attempt 2. No winners on https://www.reddit.com/tipofmytongue/comments/1cowei2/comment/l3h586h/
Figured I would try again.
Audio Sample: https://flat.io/score/663e742bda2ce852eeff15b7-mystery-indietronica-song-help-me-reddit-006-copy?sharingKey=a32eb8f4145529c4aafdd4b79f03afe08b13485d9bc8b0517f252c1e65d39a284f017e4e1143e5c81703397e211eda09208cf0d82e442b62fb9ca19464a62849
This is a song that I know I've listened to many times, and I think I even had mp3s of (or made note of) several other of this band's songs, and it amazes me that I forgot it. I have had this earworm plaguing me for at least six years. I am sure the song was already kinda old in 2018 when I went on my first search for this. I'd place estimated year of release as somewhere around 2002-2015 (despite the title).
The genre is certainly indietronica post-punk or dance-punk or indie-emo-dance-punk or I-don't-know. So I guess, it's a little obscure. Though it wouldn't shock me if I found it through a video game circa 2004.
Alot of these sound 'in the ballpark'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dance-punk_artists
.. especially

• Passion Pit (...slightly. In particular on Sleepyhead, Michael Angelakos' upper register and the vocal filters they put him through are SO FREAKIN CLOSE/almost spot on. But I think I knew of PP when I found this mystery song, and I don't think it's them. As you'll hear... it's quite upbeat and dancy.)
• Modest Mouse - in the song... Dashboard ... Sort of in the ballpark, good example of what I mean by dancy in this case. Not Technotronic or Pointer Sisters or anything)
• The Naked And Famous (but more fun, less serious, and I'm pretty sure it's a male vocalist)
• Mindless Self Indulgence (Very much this wavelength as far as overall style. Don't think I've heard of them before this search)
• Head Automatica (vocals kinda similar)

... but the vocals are VERY close to Johnny Whitney of Jaguar Love and Blood Brothers...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Whitney
I am 100% certain I found him and his bands in the search for this band and song. His style (both song composition and his singing style) is a little too zany to be them. Pretty cool tho.
About that Sound File/Link
This isn't exactly the song. Figuring this out/producing this was like childbirth... so.... like many parents, eventually I said "the hell with it". I think I got the pitches down pretty good though, especially considering it's been at least a decade. So to be the actual song, some of these parts would have to repeat more (then again, it is good to isolate sections for listening more closely) . Especially the opening riff, which I reflect with bass. That is pretty constant sound through the verses. My tempo in the first half is definitely slower and more choppy than the actual song. Second half sounds as much like the song as anyone can make with these instruments, I think.
The use of cats meows combined Soprano Vocals is meant to reflect whatever vocal filter is done in the aforementioned Passion Pit - Sleepyhead. They really boost it on the last high note of the chorus, and I reflect this with high pitched brass. Best I could do, free account.
The electric guitar goes through more of the chorus than I put it for, but not all of it. I think it quits before the big high note. I got the cascading progression just right. It's the standout part of the song, like the opening keyboards of Take On Me.
The bass and the drums are considerably more active than is reflected here. That would be super painstaking. If this isn't solved in a week, I'll probably add it in time, and post again in about 8 days. It's a high energy song. Drums are about the tempo of Bonnie Tyler's "I need a hero".
I hesitate to post lyrics I misremember, because if I was solid on my knowledge of them, I think I woulda found it already. Plenty of "ooohs (ooze?)", "boys", and "what you're doing to me-ee-ee" (to end a verse). Somewhere in this chorus I thought there was something like "more than any other guy". The song lyrics are vaguely "suggestive" 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨... like Erasure or Boy George's vibe. Mika is also another artist that has a little of that vibe, although when I listened back to Grace Kelly, I didn't hear as much of that vocal filter as I remember.
I was pretty sure part of the chorus was something like "more than any other guy" or "from any other guy" or something. I have no idea what the word is that comprises the high note.
Previous "No, but Thank You" 's..

• Ima Robot
  
• lf system
  

Thanks!

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/BhjIkqr
Video timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/811W2Em
27GL83A-B: No longer needed as I have upgraded to a 34" and this has been sitting in the closet for a while. Purchased two years ago new from Amazon and works perfectly fine. Comes with monitor, monitor stand, and power cable. Local exchanges only at the Bay Area. Asking $135 cash
34GP83A-B: Hoping to trade this and the LG27 for anyone who wants to downgrade their 38" monitor. Perfectly good condition. Comes with monitor, monitor stand, and power cable. Otherwise, selling this for $335 cash.
Amazon listing: LG UltraGear QHD 27-Inch Gaming Monitor 27GL83A-B - IPS 1ms (GtG), with HDR 10 Compatibility, NVIDIA G-SYNC, and AMD FreeSync, 144Hz, Black
Amazon listing: LG UltraGear QHD 34-Inch Curved Gaming Monitor 34GP83A-B, Nano IPS 1ms (GtG) with VESA DisplayHDR 400, NVIDIA G-SYNC, and AMD FreeSync Premium, 144Hz, Black