While the massive J Resort 65 by 65 feet electronic video board at West 4th street can be entertaining and soothing to some walking or driving by, it was immediately annoying to several nearby residents.
Dez Peltzer, a resident of Reno, living one block away in the Plaza Apartments, says the sign directly faces their bedroom window. Peltzer says they “would consider [the sign] a nuisance.”
Being on the third floor, Peltzer's window has a clear view of the art on display and had to buy blackout curtains to prevent the light from keeping them up at night.
Cassandra Hui, a graduate student at the University of Nevada, Reno, who studies circadian rhythms and how light pollution can affect people’s internal clocks, said she was concerned how the massive sign adds light pollution to downtown Reno.
“A big thing is changing the color,” Hui recommended.
A warm tone LED would range from golden yellow to red and would be easier on the eyes and on the body's circadian rhythm.
A majority of the light pollution in Reno comes from casino signs on Virginia street. With the J Resort being several blocks away, this is expanding the area of light pollution.
A warmer spectrum could still affect the circadian rhythm, but Hui said this wouldn’t have as many negative effects.
A recent Jacobs Entertainment notice had a call out for “Reno’s digital creatives” to have their work displayed on the screen during Artown, on Friday, July 26, 2024. We reached out to several artists promoting this event on their own feeds, but none responded to our interview queries.
There’s also been research on how electronic billboards are wasted energy, create driver distractions, add to visual clutter, disconnect people from a sense of place and nature, and provide no social benefits.
Read more of this article by Quay Skankey, Lexi Waisanen and Aimee Arellano here and how they tried but failed to get a Jacobs Entertainment comment: https://www.ourtownreno.com/our-stories-1/2024/5/15/jacobs-entertainment-ignores-answering-concerns-about-its-giant-video-board

I don't really care if you're close or far. Before we begin, photo -> https://imgur.com/a/fud0K4f I also have UlcerativeColitis, incase you're the type who doesn't want someone with a chronic condition. I am still normal despite that.
Cool that's done. I'll start with what I am and stuff. I'm in college for computer science. I like some music, usually metal,rock, and stuff like that. Horror, anime, manga and actual books. I do a little bit of game creation but on a very small scale. Just a hobby. The boys and I like to visit new cities, went to the morongo casino resort last time. Oh, 130lbs 5"6. I think I fall into the awkward category, didn't really interact with people as much as I should've Oops.
Alrighty, I'm looking for anyone below 25. Chubby is okay but not fat girls though. Thats really about it, any race, any country. Just a pic and whatever you wanna say.

Late July-Aug 1. Ideally gay-friendly, NO CASINO, not part of strip culture, good for adults to rest and recuperate. I’m doing a trade show in LV, and I’m not a gambler, smoker, or even a people person, so I’m not looking for “The Las Vegas Experience!!!!”. I’m too old and misanthropic for a lot of late-night hooey. My assistant and I will probably go to a buffet and do a little thrift shopping after the convention, but it’s kind of all business, so the strip and the resort fees seem unnecessary when we’re just going to take off our shoes and sleep. Ideas? I stayed at Blue Moon Resort years ago, but it’s gone.

Stay at an airbnb residence beside the Hard Rock Casino and Resort, we wanted to get a golf cart but since we're not staying at a resort are we allowed a golf cart? Like on Cana Bay Avenue the leads up to the cana bay beach club, are you allowed to drive golf carts? Just wasn't sure if it matters to be in gated community or needs to be resort. Thanks!

In an in-depth report, we recently got a behind the scenes look into how the Peppermill casino and others in the northern Nevada region have tapped into geothermal energy beneath us for some of their energy needs.
As part of a tour he gave our student reporters, the manager of geothermal operations of the Peppermill John Kassai showcased one of the wells they use to heat all of the water that the casino uses on a daily basis.Kassai, the central plant and geothermal manager, invited us to lay our hands on a large pipe connected to the ground. Once we touched the pipe, warmth ran through.
Reaching 4,400 feet below the ground, the Peppermill harnesses the Earth’s natural heat in order to heat the casino’s water and power the casino’s internal heating. This has saved the Peppermill millions of dollars in energy use, returning the investment of developing the geothermal plant in just three years.
Nearly 15 years ago, the Peppermill started tapping into the vast Moana Reservoir, holding natural geothermal energy more than three quarters of a mile underground. It took the Peppermill Resort $9.7 million to develop their geothermal heating system.
Although it was a risky decision to move forward with the project, which was initiated during the Great Recession, the project has saved the Peppermill an estimated $2.2 million in natural gas bills each year while drastically reducing the casino’s carbon footprint by 12,000 metric tons of CO2 emissions per year.Geothermal energy is the heat that the earth contains.
Northern Nevada is abundant with geothermal energy due to its unique composition of earth and geographic location.Find our full article via our website here: https://www.ourtownreno.com/our-stories-1/2024/5/15/the-peppermill-and-others-tapping-into-northern-nevadas-vast-geothermal-energy

Here is a quick, public guide to help you begin your study to counter throw-loops, based on math and frame data. Since it is public, feel free to compliment, share your specific techs or resources. By the SuperCombo wiki, the definition of a "Throw-Loop" is: "Many forward throws allow for "Throw Loops'' in the corner where the character lands a throw, then walks or dashes up to the opponent with frame advantage, creating another throw mixup." Since it is a mix-up, you have to commit to two different defensive/punish options: One for the throw, and a different one for the strike. But how to effectively choose? So we're taking a look at the Fighting Game Glossary definition for the three main terms that are crucial for this guide: Reactable, Read, Guess. Reactable: An attack that has slow enough startup that a human can react to it and correctly defend (either by blocking or intercepting with their own attack). Read: A sub-class of a guess where your decision is not wholly random, but instead informed by some knowledge about the game or your opponent's tendencies. Guess: Taking an action when you aren't sure if that action will have a good outcome. Taking that off the bat, the first thing we have to look for is if it is reactable: According to SuperCombo, "Throws are universally 5f startup and 3f active" and "The input window for a Throw Escape lasts until the 9th frame of being thrown". The frame data of Street Fighter 6 reveals the game speed is 60 frames per second, thus one frame is equal to 16 milliseconds in real life. Considering a throw has a 5 frame startup + 9f window for tech, that leaves us with a 14 frames/233 milliseconds window for reacting the throw and do the input for tech. The reported World Record in "arealme" for a human brain reaction speed test is of 112 ms, which is about 7 frames, however there is a catch: The test itself consists of reacting to just one single outcome of one red button turning green, which means the world record holder who did the test focused on a single visual stimuli with 100% anticipation of the outcome, also with zero influences of distractors/mental stack/external factors. Since this may indicate that the 14f window is not punishable for humans due to the influence of pre-anticipation of another outcome in our reaction time, our next option is a Read. So what do we look for? For the Throw-Loop sample for this guide, there is no shimmy/bait technique involved to improve the rate of success in the offense in order to make the most basic throw loop ever, only meaty strike and throw, and I will not consider options that wins both against a throw or a meaty, as OD Reversal is not available to all the members of the cast, and super is not available at round-start. I want the throw-loop as raw and 50/50 as possible. I'm using Ken, to take on the most standard scenario possible: Round 1 start Cr.LK - DR - S.MP - Heavy Tatsu - this combo starts with a very common Ken opening, and is the least damaging combo that can put you in the far end of the corner from the round start position, thus putting you in the most basic throw loop setup available. So considering you took the least damaging combo and finds yourself in the corner at round 1, if your "looper" only uses the most basic meaty or throw in your face, you have the 50% chance of guessing right with the options provided. Sounds pretty OK, right? But there is one small detail. Not only the fact that every successful throw takes 12% of the standard cast HP, every successful basic meaty conversion has roughly two-throws of damage or more, greatly reducing your number of interactions. Meaty CR. MP - Heavy Shoryuken conversion does 2100 damage (no counter). The stacks are that you always have a 25% chance of losing two interactions in a row due to pure luck - the best possible outcome for your loss is 2400 damage (two no-counter throws), which is more than a raw level 1 super (2000 damage). After that, you may lose 3.300 to a throw and a meaty conversion, which is more than a level 2 super (2700 damage). Your worst outcome, in only two interactions, is 4200 damage, which is more than a level 3 Super (4000 damage), but keep in mind: All of these examples are considering the damage from the described combo with no counter buff, so values may change if your opponent opts for another routes bigger than two links. So how do we read to prevent that? First things first, at the versus screen be already prepared to look for the throw loop. In Ken’s case, the corner-carry is a conversion of something, so be prepared to whiff punish and be aware of his range, since any hit-confirm can be converted by any player to a corner-carry mid-screen, or a corner-carry anywhere in the screen at the hands of an experienced looper. Secondly, one of the most fundamental rules of reading: Recognize clues and prospect your opponent’s habits. In Punk's neutral guide video, he talks about a handful of ways to anticipate your opponent's actions for whiff punish based on his movement, his habits and the range of his character's attacks. You do that in neutral to prevent the mix-up, so be aware of the spacing of every one of your opponent's normals, and when does he uses them. But when we’re going to dive into actual defense once you are during the mix-up - there is no variation in movement or timing to recognize if it will be a fast meaty or throw. Your first option here is a Guess, but you can only start to read your opponent after the second interaction of the loop, since that’s where you get the first idea of his pattern. If you manage to guess right two times in a row, your opponent usually won’t resort to using the loop carelessly again, but even if you guess wrong on two interactions, remember that 24% of your HP (two standard throws, your best outcome) is a low price to pay for opening the doors of knowledge. So if you guess wrong two times in a row, you can already start to think what you will do next to keep with your gameplan: You have the precise time of your wake-up animation (164f or 2,624 seconds) to analyze the new pattern, your meter and carefully choose what you think is the best course of action. Conditioning your mind is key here, and be prepared to decipher what your opponent will do based on the smallest sample of interactions possible - Since if you read wrong and get hit by four meatys in two rounds, that may be an entire healthbar in four conversions of 2500 damage (may be possible without spending any super). If you’re not confident with your reading in this situation, you can lastly resort to the first steps of being in a throw loop - the Guess - which is self-explanatory. But now, you found your opponent’s pattern and guessed right, what’s next? If you guessed with an attack/super, chances are you did some damage and can position yourself, however you must remain vigilant: One hit-confirm from your opponent may get you in that situation again. This is special if you guess right with a throw-tech: Now the distance is back to neutral, however you’re still in the corner and there is no damage/meter penalty for the looper. You earned one shot to change sides/start pressure, use it wisely. Be aware that I only covered a very basic and introductory situation of a crude and non-optimal throw loop - there are many dangerous variations in meaty conversion damage, and techniques like shimmy that compromises even further your important chances of escaping. I’m not qualified enough to go deep in psychologically predicting your opponent’s course of actions, so I will recommend literature that will provide you with intermediate/advanced techniques to help you prepare yourself to both read and guess a throw loop. For reading a throw-loop: The Art of War - Sun Tzu; The Book of Five Rings - Miyamoto Musashi; Intelligence in War: Knowledge of the Enemy from Napoleon to Al Qaeda - John Keegan. For guessing a throw-loop: The Winner’s Guide to Casino Gambling - Edwin Silberstang; The Biggest Buff - Maria Konnikova; Gambling for Life - Harry Findlay. Stay safe and good luck on your journey!

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Visitor's Guide for more things to do around town!
Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.
Be sure to continue scrolling past the Weekly Events for Trivia Nights, Live Music, Sporting Events, Local Comedy, and more!
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• Cardinals HOF Presents: Flashback Fridays
  • May 24, 2024
  • Visit the Cardinals Museum for a candid interview in our Sportsman's Park Theater with former Cardinals Pitcher Kevin Siegrist on Friday, May 24th at 4:30pm.
• Cardinals HOF Presents: Saturday Signings
  • May 25, 2024
  • Saturday, May 25th is Saturday Signings with former Cardinals Pitcher Kevin Siegrist from 2-4pm in the Cardinals Museum!
• Chess at the Brewery
  • Every Wednesday
  • Local meetup group of chess players that meet at breweries on Wednesday nights. They rotate locations each week.
  • See their Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/chessatthebrewery/) for the location this week.
• Explore STL Fest at Ballpark Village
  • May 22, 2024
  • Taking over Together Credit Union Plaza at Ballpark Village, Explore STL Fest will feature appearances and giveaways by beloved local attractions, entertainment venues, restaurants and hotels.
  • Local media will broadcast live from the event, helping to spread the word about everything that makes St. Louis such a special destination.
  • Festivities begin at 10 a.m.
• Family Night with Fredbird
  • Wednesdays
  • Join others at Cardinals Nation Restaurant & Bar for Family Night with Fredbird on select Wednesday evenings this off-season! Bring your family down for games, prizes, and meet Fredbird from 6:30-7:30pm.
• Karaoke Wednesdays at HandleBar
  • Every Wednesday
  • Browse the catalog and find your favorite songs to sing! Songbookslive.com/stlredcarpet
• Karaoke Wednesdays at Mack's Bar & Grill
  • Every Wednesday
• Landmarks Downtown Walking Tours
  • Every Saturday
  • Landmarks Downtown St. Louis Walking Tours: History, Culture, Architecture, and Exercise: What could be better on a Saturday morning.
• Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection at St. Louis Art Museum
  • February 23 - July 14, 2024
  • Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection celebrates a transformative gift of outstanding works by Native American artists active across the 20th century. The promised gift of 100 works establishes a critical junction between the Saint Louis Art Museum’s deep collection of pre-1920 Indigenous art and a growing emphasis on the contemporary.
• Open Mic Night at Schlafly Bottleworks (Maplewood)
  • Every Wednesday
  • Join others every Wednesday evening and showcase your talents with our Open Mic Night! Open sign up begins at 6:30PM with music starting at 7:00PM. They welcome original material, covers and spoken word! Grab a beer, then play and listen every Wednesday! There are no cover charges and no drink minimums to attend.
• Soulard Farmer's Market
  • Wednesdays - Saturdays
  • Soulard Farmers Market is located at 730 Carroll Street in St. Louis, Missouri, a half mile north of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The market is open Wednesday through Saturday, year round. They feature locally grown and shipped in goods, including: produce, meats, cheeses, spices, gourmet kettle corn, flowers, baked goods, and general merchandise. There are also several different eateries that have many food options, which allows customers the convenience to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink while shopping.
• St. Louis African Arts Festival
  • May 25 - 27, 2024
  • The St. Louis African Arts Festival aims to increase awareness of the global contributions that African people and people of African descent have made through artistic, cultural and educational programs. In its 33rd year, the festival will be held at the World’s Fair Pavilion in Forest Park from May 25 to 27.
  • The multi-day event draws locals and visitors together to celebrate the rich and diverse cultures of African and African American people. Attendees can enjoy the African marketplace with arts and crafts, clothing and jewelry, alongside cultural demonstrations, traditional foods and African films.
• St. Louis CITY Block Party
  • May 25, 2024
  • Before the St. Louis CITY SC match kickoff, get the party started early with live music, food and drinks on Lou Fusz Plaza! CITY SC presents the free CITY Block Party featuring live performances from Juliet Ivy, Hazmat and Lexodus, as well as local food and beverage vendors, fan giveaways, and games and activities for all ages.
  • The block party is free and open to the public. If you don’t have tickets to the match, stay to catch CITY take on Seattle Sounders on the big screen at the free Watch Party on the plaza (7:30 pm kickoff).
• St. Louis CITY SC Street Party at Schlafly Tap Room
  • May 25, 2024
  • In celebration of ALL home soccer games, Schlafly will close down "Louligan Street" and support our team the only way they know how: great food, drinks, and fun. There are beer tents, food trucks, special (game day and late night) menus, and more. Get here early and park!
• Sunday Bingo at Tim's Chrome Bar
  • Every Sunday
  • Get in the mood for some fun with an afternoon of BINGO at Tim’s. They'll supply the cards and daubers. Just bring yourself and your BINGO loving friends. Play for some good laughs and a variety prizes. Bar opens at 12 p.m., they'll start BINGO at 3 p.m. Cheers!
• Sunset Rooftop Yoga at Ballpark Village
  • May 23, 2024
  • Unwind on the rooftop of Ballpark Village in St. Louis during a one-hour yoga class led by YogaSix.
  • After the session, nama-stay for exclusive happy hour offers such as $3 domestic beers and $5 select cocktails.
• Thursday Nights at the Museum
  • Every Thursday
  • Kick off your weekend at the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park! Each Thursday Night at the Museum will be the most fun, engaging, uplifting, thought-provoking, perspective-shaping night of your week. And there are drinks.
  • Join others starting at 5:30pm for happy hour and pop-up activities, such as brief tours, games, and performances. The main stage comes to life at 6:30pm, light appetizers and drinks are available for purchase until 7:00pm, and the Museum’s exhibits are open until 8:00pm for you to explore!
• Tower Grove Farmer's Market
  • Every Tuesday & Saturday
  • Join others every Saturday of the 2023 Tower Grove Farmers Market Season. They'll have over 100 vendors with local produce, meat, flowers, eggs, honey, prepared foods, art, jewelry, live music, and so much more.
• Vietnam: At War and At Home at Soldiers Memorial
  • Running until May 27, 2024
  • In 'Vietnam: At War and At Home' at Soldiers Memorial Military Museum, the story of the war’s origins, execution, conclusion and legacy are presented in engaging, accessible and evocative ways. The exhibit presents a diverse and holistic snapshot of the turbulent times in Vietnam, in the U.S. and in the St. Louis region.

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Sporting Events This Week	Attractions Around the Area	Comedy This Week
St. Louis Cardinals schedule	Anheuser-Busch Brewery	Funny Bone Comedy Club
St. Louis Blues schedule	City Museum	Helium Comedy Club
St. Louis City SC schedule	Gateway Arch	The Improv Shop
St. Louis Battlehawks schedule	Missouri History Museum
St. Louis Billikens schedule	National Blues Museum

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Trivia Nights
Location	Date/Time	More Information
Anheuser-Busch Biergarten	Tuesdays 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
Bar K	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
City Foundry	Thursdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Crack Fox	Mondays 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm	They host a weekly free tournament and game night. Emphasis on Non Alcoholic refreshments and camaraderie.
Joey B's on the Hill	Mondays 8:30 pm - 10:30 pm	Trivia Details
Nick's Pub	Mondays
Felix's Pizza Pub	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
ITAP (Delmar Loop)	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
ITAP (Soulard)	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
Schlafly Brewpubs (Any Location)	Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Rockwell Beer Co	Tuesdays	Trivia Details (Reservations required)
The Mack	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
The Pat Connolly Tavern	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
The Post	Wednesdays 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm	Trivia Details
Pieces Board Game Bar & Cafe	Wednesdays	Trivia Details
HandleBar	Thursdays at 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Steve's Hot Dogs	Tuesdays 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm	Trivia Details
Wellspent Brewing	Thursdays at 7:00 pm

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Live Music This Week
Music Venues	Live Music Around Town
Blueberry Hill Duck Room	1860 Saloon
Chesterfield Amphitheater	BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups
Delmar Hall	Broadway Oyster Bar
Enterprise Center	City Foundry
The Fabulous Fox Theatre	Gallery Pub
The Factory	Game 6 Honky Tonk
Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre	Gaslight Lounge
Off Broadway	The Heavy Anchor
Old Rock House	Jazz St. Louis
The Pageant	Joe's Cafe
Red Flag	The Lot on the Landing
The Sheldon	Tim's Chrome Bar
St. Louis Music Park	McGurk's
St. Louis Symphony Concert Calendar	SoFar St. Louis Secret performances around town
Stifel Theatre	Venice Cafe
	Yaquis on Cherokee

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Recurring Outdoor Activities
Big Muddy Adventures – STL Riverfront Adventure	Big Muddy Adventures was established in 2002. They are the first professional outfitteguiding company providing access to the wild wonders of the Middle Mississippi and Lower Missouri Rivers.
Gateway Arch Events	There are a variety of things to do along the Mississippi River.
Hidden Valley Ski Resort	Ziplining, scenic chairlift rides, and hiking trails opened during the summer. Skiing, snowboarding during the winter.

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Our budget is around 50k . We will be leaving from Bangalore for 4N/5D .
Which places or resorts would be better for stay . Please don’t suggest hostels , something cozy and with aesthetic view would be nice .
Also we want to visit clubs and casinos , along with partying in cruise .
Please give suggestions. TIA 🙏🏻
Edit:- also if any other couple is travelling on these dates , won’t mind tagging along to clubs and water sports

One recent experience with a Hyatt House really got me confused about how properties under Hyatt upholding their late check out policies nowadays. Might being a bit picky here, mainly because it's not the same story told last time.
One night stay, giving 4PM late check-out at the check in, being asked to check out before 2PM on second day with no exemptions made. Called Hyatt customer service, both their agent and the connected hotel manager stated several times quite harshly:
Late checkouts are at the discretion of specific property, no matter what the brand is.
Globalist are not guaranteed a late check out, even for hotels that's not "hotels with casinos, Hyatt resorts, and Destination by Hyatt Residences locations".
Got connected to second Hyatt customer service after a almost-quarrel, quoted from the T&C:
"Program benefits are subject to availability at properties, regardless of the brand" and mentioned that late checkout are one of the program benefits.
After checking T&C, didn't find any info about definition of "Program Benefits", but found out the late checkout belongs to one of the "In-hotel Benefits."
Who's at fault here? Just fact checking and being specific on terms. Thought it would be a guaranteed thing to globs according to last time asking a Hyatt agent about it, and also almost all hotel operators I ran into during past stays.

As we all know Casinos in Goa are legal. Many of them visit Goa to play casino games.

Why Casino Gaming is Legal in Goa

Legal Framework

Casino gaming in Goa is governed by the Goa, Daman and Diu Public Gambling Act, 1976. In the early 1990s, amendments to this act allowed for the regulation and licensing of casinos. This move was primarily aimed at boosting tourism and generating revenue for the state.

Economic Benefits

The legalization of casinos has significantly contributed to Goa’s economy. It has created numerous jobs, attracted high-spending tourists, and generated substantial tax revenue. This economic boost supports various public services and infrastructure development in the state.

Cultural Acceptance

Goa’s liberal and open-minded cultural backdrop, influenced by its history as a Portuguese colony, has facilitated the acceptance of casino gaming. The integration of casinos into Goa’s tourism landscape has been smooth, supported by the local population and authorities.

Top Casinos in Goa

1. Deltin Royale

• Location: Panaji, on the Mandovi River
• Highlights: One of the largest and most luxurious offshore casinos in Goa, Deltin Royale offers a wide range of gaming options including poker, blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. The casino also features live entertainment, a gourmet restaurant, and a VIP gaming room.
• Why Visit: Known for its opulence and top-notch services, Deltin Royale is perfect for those looking for a high-end casino experience.

2. Casino Pride

• Location: Panaji, on the Mandovi River
• Highlights: Another popular offshore casino, Casino Pride is known for its vibrant atmosphere and affordable gaming options. It offers a variety of games such as Texas Hold’em, roulette, baccarat, and slot machines. The casino also features live performances and a buffet restaurant.
• Why Visit: Ideal for casual gamers and tourists looking for a lively and budget-friendly casino experience.

3. Deltin Jaqk

• Location: Panaji, on the Mandovi River
• Highlights: Deltin Jaqk is an offshore casino known for its excellent customer service and diverse gaming options. The casino offers games like poker, blackjack, and roulette, along with an extensive buffet and live entertainment.
• Why Visit: Deltin Jaqk is great for families and first-time casino-goers looking for a welcoming and enjoyable environment.

4. Casino Carnival

• Location: Panaji, inside the Goa Marriott Resort & Spa
• Highlights: This onshore casino offers a variety of gaming options including slot machines, blackjack, roulette, and poker. Casino Carnival also provides live music and entertainment, making it a great spot for a fun night out.
• Why Visit: Located within a luxury resort, Casino Carnival offers a convenient and comfortable gaming experience for hotel guests and visitors alike.

5. Casino Palms

• Location: Baga, inside the La Calypso Hotel
• Highlights: Situated in the bustling area of Baga, Casino Palms offers a range of table games and slot machines. The casino is part of the La Calypso Hotel, which provides additional amenities such as a swimming pool and restaurants.
• Why Visit: Perfect for tourists staying in Baga who want to enjoy gaming without traveling far from their hotel.

Tips for Visiting Casinos in Goa

1. Dress Code: Most casinos have a smart casual dress code. Avoid wearing flip-flops and shorts.
2. Entry Requirements: Make sure to carry a valid ID proof as entry is restricted to those above 21 years of age.
3. Currency: Casinos in Goa operate using Indian Rupees (INR). Some casinos may offer chips in exchange for cash.
4. Timings: Casinos typically operate 24/7, but it's always good to check their timings and any special events beforehand.
5. Responsible Gaming: Set a budget for your gaming activities and stick to it. Casinos offer various forms of entertainment, so enjoy the overall experience rather than focusing solely on gambling.

MGM/Aria/Vegas city center has managed to keep the Aria Resort and casino smelling magical for years (despite smoke, b.o, etc)…what scent do they use?

It’s a book or comic I read years ago, maybe about 15 years? The best I recall is this:
A man is trying to prove his friend doesn’t really believe in the soul and offers to buy it from him. Either really cheap or for a drink, I think. Other people join in on the joke and sell their soul for a drink to this guy.
Except the friend dies and this guy is now in charge of his spirit. I think he looked like he was run over.
I remember other gods getting annoyed at this new “religion” as the guy keeps buying souls and I think he created a heaven that was basically a giant casino resort.
I’ve been trying different phrases to try and find the book but no luck. Anyone remember this?

Despite having been informed that the crocodiles in Hermès’ supply chain are kept in filthy, cramped conditions and killed in violent ways, Yaamava' Resort & Casino still raffled off a crocodile-skin Himalaya Birkin bag on May 1. 🤬🤮😭

I'm a 42 year old male, I met my wife when I was 18, she was 23 and we began 'dating' when I was 21, working a job I hated in the same place she worked (casino workers, if you know, you know). We hooked up at a Xmas party and started a very awkward relationship. I say awkward because we had some weird trouble having sex for the first like 6 months... it's odd when I think back on it, should have been a huge red flag but she was draped in reg flags the entire time and it didn't seem matter to me. Aside from that, when we finally did have sex she got pregnant... she was not at all ready, neither was I really, but are you ever? At any rate, I didn't have too much of say in it, she decided on an abortion and I supported her. We stayed together after that horribly shitty experience, our relationship was never really all that good, lots of petty fighting/arguing and really the only reason it continued was because we worked opposite shifts and barely saw each other which made it easier to sorta get along.
Fast forward a couple years, we decide to buy a house because financially it made sense (this is almost 20 years ago so it was still affordable at that time), she made quite a bit of money, mostly in tips (so not on paper), but she probably made 2-3 times as much as I did so she never really struggled financially (in her life I don't think) while I came out of poverty and lived paycheck to paycheck up until a few years ago (the pandemic was surprisingly good for my career). This was never really an issue for me, I've lived in debt my whole life and I've always had the optimism that I would eventually work my way out of it, it's really the only bit of confidence I have in myself, my ability to learn and become relatively good at almost anything. This was always a point of contention, my wife hated that I had debt so when we bought the house together we were asked if we wanted a joint bank account as most couples combine their finances with cohabitation, my wife scoffed and adamantly told the banker there was no way she's mixing her finances with mine, it was relatively embarrassing at the time but I was also just 25 (she was 30) so I went along with whatever, it was going to be slightly cheaper for me to pay a mortgage than rent at the time so I was in and she'd cover bills. Things were never that great when living together, things must have been good enough for me to stay but I only look back with anger now so it's hard to see anything good but I'm sure there must have been some.
Fast forward another couple years and I feel extremely pressured (by her and her family mostly, they're old fashioned country type folks) to ask her to marry me... so I do. We stay engaged for another few years, I have no desire to waste a bunch on money on a wedding but she's the one with money so we have the big wedding she wanted. I'll admit it was a pretty great party, I don't remember anything good involving her on our wedding day but I have lots of good memories with family and friends. Afterwards we went on a 'romantic' honeymoon at an all-inclusive tropical resort and this is where I'll get into a bit of what I've dealt with for years... our resort was gorgeous, room was nice, just a room but nice... first thing my wife did was complain, about everything, the bed, the fridge, the lights, the balcony... nothing was good enough for her, this would become a common theme for the next decade plus. We also did not have sex on our honeymoon, she was far too busy complaining and being angry for us to ever get in the 'mood', this would be more foreshadowing of what's to come.
Now, this might seem like I'm building up to her becoming really bad after getting married but that's not really the case... she was just as bad before, it didn't really get worse, it just became more noticeable... or maybe I just tolerated things more in the beginning. The truth is when I look back, there were so many signs, she casually put me down and basically treated me like a child from day one, something I just accepted because looking back, I was a fucking child when we got together... she was not really, five years my senior, and she very much took advantage of that dynamic. Over the years she slowly went about convincing me that the things I wanted were silly/ridiculous and that I should want what she wanted (the nice lawn, the house, kids, etc., etc.) because everyone should. I never wanted these things.
I won't get into details here because I could write a novel on the insane shit I've dealt with over the last 20 years that could prove this, but I did do a lot of research in the last few years and have come to the conclusion that she could have BPD with narcissistic traits... I'm obviously not a doctor so it's definitely not a diagnosis or anything but she ticks almost every box from the many many things I've read on the subject, so if you have a moment and you don't know what BPD is I suggest googling it. It's pretty terrible but it might give you a better idea of my life.
At any rate, I dug myself deeper and deeper, thinking that every next move would finally make her happy and bring me some kind of peace, so we had a child about a year after we were married. This is where it gets really tricky... I sincerely regret having a child with this woman, especially because she is not at all "cut out to be a mother" (her words, not mine) but her mother had been sick on and off with cancer for a few years and her older sister couldn't have children so she felt obligated to give her mom a grandchild, bad reasons all around to have a child. That being said, I love my son more than anything in the world. As much as I wish we did not bring him into this horrible world, he's still the very best thing to happen to me and I will take care of him and love him for the rest of my life no matter what.
I should mention, since I've eluded to it, I've always had self-esteem issues, goes all the way back to having acne problems in high school but my wife has methodically picked away at my confidence and self-esteem over the years, cutting me down to this very day... to the point that I feel very much worthless. I know that I'm not, I know I deserve better but another fun thing about my wife is her desperate need for sympathy... So, not only does she make me feel horrible about myself, she also manages to make me feel horrible FOR her... she's overweight, and I'm sure has low self-esteem herself but she has decided to take it out on others rather than internalize and try to make things better for herself. She would rather blame others for any of her short comings, I guess it's easier to convince yourself you can't do anything about it when it's someone else fault.
I apologize, because I feel like I'm a bit all over the place but I guess I'm just trying to set the scene for where I'm at now and give just a small glimpse of the hell I've been living in and how I got here...
The first few years of my sons life were pretty great (comparatively at least), honestly it was probably the best we've ever gotten along, probably because most of my focus (and hers) was on our son. Unfortunately, her mother passed away just after my son's first birthday, this was obviously devastating for her, not unexpected but still devastating. We're lucky in Canada because she had a full year maternity leave and was able to spend time with her mom. She took it very hard, and decided to stay off work for an additional 4-6 months (can't remember exactly). This was all fine and understandable, I supported her through all of it, financially and emotionally. Once she went back to work, this is when things took a real nose dive... she has always been a very entitled person but upon going back to work (part time I should mention) she decided everything was horrible for her so she was going to make it horrible for everyone around her. This went on for around 4-5 years (again, the time frames get fuzzy because it's been so long), it was hell. I really just plowed through for our son, I made him my main focus and I took care of everything. Without going into it too much, I sort of shifted gears with my job and focused on finding something that worked better for raising a kid, I got onto a full time day shift (unheard in the casino world) and we worked opposite shifts. It was pretty good for child care (that we couldn't afford) as one of us was always home. This made her more contentious... again, going back to the entitled thing, she felt it wasn't 'fair' for me to work a good shift, she should be the one doing that. I eventually worked my way out of casinos and into a work from home job (before COVID) and it was great, she could work whatever shift she had to and I would always be around for our son.
Fast forward again, my son's in school, she's still super angry at life and making things hellish but I do my best to make it good for our son. It's difficult to keep a smile on with him while putting up with temper tantrums and fits from my wife... yes, we had a toddler and she was the one who threw fits. For an example, I can recall one specific Xmas where my son and I were playing video games which is his biggest interest, something she absolutely hates, and she made a few comments about how we should be doing family things together for Xmas (it was Xmas eve), so my son and I got off the computer and played a board game in the living room... nice and wholesome fun I thought. My wife throws a fit, full on screaming and slamming things around, I don't even remember what for exactly, it happens so often I can't keep track anymore. Her temper tantrum ends with her storming off and slamming the door to her room. I'll never forget looking at my son right after, him tearing up a bit and asking me "what is wrong mom?" and I just said "I'm really sorry buddy, I don't know" and we hugged... I cried a lot about that that night, one of many times I would have to apologize for her and the way she acts around him. This is just one small example and a terrible Xmas memory that I'll always have, hopefully my son won't. I think the worst part of these 'tantrums' is that she can almost always justify them, only to herself really but usually by blaming me or my son for "making her so upset" or worse, blaming some inanimate object for "not working how it should".
Fast forward to now(ish)... I've basically lived in my basement for the last 5 years, my office and bedroom are there, I stay down there to avoid my wife as much as possible but it feels like a prison cell now. I've retreated from life in general over the years too, I've always been a pretty anti-social introvert, I prefer quiet one on one conversations rather than group settings. Most of my 'friends' over the last 10-15 years revolved around my job (casinos take over your life people, for real) and my wife, I slowly lost any friends that had no connection to her. This was partially due to me retreating and the fact that my wife would insert herself into any friendship that was just mine to the point that I sort shut those people out to avoid them having to deal with her. Sadly, I don't have friends anymore (didn't have many to begin with but still), my son is essentially my only friend and because I work from home by myself I rarely talk to any other adults. My wife and I talk only when necessary... I cannot make eye contact with her anymore. This is probably needless to say but we haven't had sex in over 6 and a half years and I don't cheat, I don't have the confidence, so I've just accepted that I'm celibate now.
One other area of contention that I feel I should explain since I've mentioned it already, through the pandemic there was a serious power shift, financially speaking. She essentially lost her job and is now in a lower paying part time job (more realistic pay compared to her previous job), whereas I made a couple job changes that bumped me up well ahead of her. For comparison, the salaries essentially flipped, almost exactly... to where I make 2-3 times what she makes. This has become an area of contention because this was something she was able to lord over me for the majority of our relationship, she spent money freely while I paid the mortgage and barely ate for the first 5 years we lived in the house but now, for the first time in her life she has to pay attention to her finances and watch her spending... she does not like this so it's just another thing to constantly complain about and make passive aggressive comments about the things that 'dad' can afford to do/buy but doesn't (mainly because I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills now while finally paying down some debt).
Oh, I should probably also mention that it's a regular thing for her to insult me and put me down in front of our son and on flip side of that she also uses him to garner sympathy from me ("shouldn't daddy feel bad mommy has to go to work?") it's very frustrating because I just want to protect my kid but I guess she knows that.
Again, I'll apologize for how disjointed this all is... the more I type, the more I think about shit to type... like I mentioned, I could write a novel on this, mostly because I have no real outlet, just sit in my basement talking to myself about it all... or I guess stewing in it.
So, I guess I should try to finish off with what exactly the advice is that I'm seeking... I essentially hate my wife, the word I use often is 'despise' and over the years we've had brief conversations where I've told her that "I'm done and I'm just here for the kid" and unfortunately she took this as push to work on our marriage harder and 'fix' things, far too little, too late. She makes me feel like the worse person in the world and yet I just can't bring myself to say to her face that I want a divorce... I feel sorry for her, fuck so much so that I bought a house with her, married her, and had a fucking kid with her... I'm sure that's not the case, I must have loved her at one point but I just can't see it anymore. I don't know why I can't say it to her, why I can't just end this... I'm so worried about how she'll react, what she'll do to me, to my kid... how she'll try and turn him against me. I'm just paralyzed with the fear of what could/will happen if I tell her we're getting a divorce.
I've made plans over the last few years to move out, rent an apartment for me and my kid and just continue to pay her bills until we can sell the house and split the profit. I can't afford to do this, it would cause me to go back into debt but I do not care, it would be worth it to get away from her. I have set deadline after deadline... "I'll do it after Xmas" or "after her birthday" or "before my birthday" and these days come and go and I just can't do it... I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, it's like I just don't want to hurt her, even though I'm hurting her by not ending things and she definitely doesn't give a shit about hurting me... I just don't want to face her and deal with it and how she will make the aftermath hell.. and I worry so much about my son, it would have been so much better for him if I would have divorced her years ago, he's fucking 10 now... another fear is having to explain it to him but we're setting a horrible example. One of my wife's favourite ways to use our son against me, is planting it in his head that "family is all that matters", focusing specifically on our little family, and how we have to "stick together no matter what, that's what family does". It's such an underhanded way to prep him for hating me because I'm "breaking up our family".
I would appreciate any advice on how the hell I can get over my paralyzing fear and just end this marriage or maybe you wanna come over and end it for me? I'm at a point where I'd take that... as I mentioned I've not shared most of this with anyone... so feedback would be a really new thing for me.
Oh, and please feel free to call me chicken shit, and tell me I just need to grow a pair and get this done... it's the same thing I've been saying to myself for years, not helpful but I understand the sentiment.
Shit... I'm sorry, this turned into a novel. Thank you.

Hi, I know some of you have been interested in Joost’s written stuff, so this is one of them. It’s a short story that Joost wrote for Boekenweek voor Jongeren (Book Week for Young People) in 2019. There’s more info about it here (in Dutch) https://www.vice.com/nl/article/qvgzpv/joost-klein-schreef-een-kort-verhaal-over-een-wilde-nacht-in-berlijn and there was also this promo video for it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx7wxnpxps0. It's been translated from Dutch - maybe not the most perfect translation but it's readable. Original in Dutch here. Enjoy

"How come he suddenly has cash?" I looked at Gurb, but he avoided my gaze. Louis never had money and yet he was buying another round. Meanwhile, a Moby song was playing and nothing made sense. "If he has money for drinks, he can surely pay me back, right?"
Just a few hours ago, I was alone in Berlin. Now, ten hours later, I'm standing in some obscure techno club with my best friends. Loud rock music with drunken shouting. "Hey, Miss Murder, can I make beauty stay if I take my life?" I woke up that day with a mild hangover from the lonely yet people-filled night before. Perfect conditions for a 20-year-old dropout.
The Hard Rock Café was the most beautifully ugly place in Berlin. Gurb had driven for seven hours straight in his mother's car, but we didn't notice. An iconic black Mini Cooper. Your body leads your mind, the beat never stops, and you can conquer the world. Louis threw in another crazy dance move. We were happy.
"Do you want another drink, brother?" Gurb asked me, half shouting. An evening filled with rhetorical questions. He saw me dancing and already knew the answer.
Gurb always had money. Louis, on the other hand, never did. Louis was also the youngest of us three. He had just turned 18. I wouldn't call him a cunning fox. More like a jack-of-all-trades. Like the time he made a lot of money on a Wadden Island with a group of boys. They sold large blocks of hash.
"Crazy dude!" I shouted at him. He yelled something back.
"Do you remember back then?" Louis said.
"Back then? Back then? Yeah man, of course!" I had no idea what he meant. "Do you mean the party?"
"Do you mean the party, he says! This guy. When I look at you like this, it makes me happy. The exact same kid is here letting loose just like back in high school!"
We knew each other from secondary school. He joined when I was in the second grade. He was very intelligent. Too young, too much knowledge of the world. His mother is from Brazil. We often went to his mother's place to play on the Playstation Louis and I had bought together.
I lived everywhere at that time. In the crisis shelter where I stayed for a while, for example, I wasn't allowed to have a Playstation. So we set it up in an accessible place, near school. It was always fun with Louis. Going together to the Apple Store. Taking all kinds of photos with all the webcams, posting them on Hyves, and then leaving. Louis always knew how to cheer me up.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!" There was Gurb with five drinks in his hands. Gurb was wearing a blue checkered shirt. Two buttons undone. Hair slicked back. "You look good, brother!"
"You look fresh too! We all look fresh!" Gurb said enthusiastically. Louis was wearing a completely white outfit. We quickly bought this before going out. He also bleached his hair.
"You look like the Brazilian cousin of James Dean in these clothes," I said. Louis laughed. "Let me take a picture."
Suddenly, the DJ switched to some kind of techno. "Ah, here Berlin briefly takes off its mask." I was fine with it all. Louis was talking to a lady.
Voluptuous breasts, I thought to myself. He gave her one of his two drinks.
"He's with a girl and he's thinking with his dick," I said to Gurb. "Let him be, tonight Berlin is ours!"
The bass kept pounding. "I simply don't have the patience for the club," I said to Gurb. He looked surprised. Like a sweet dog, tilting his head. "I'm just waiting for tomorrow. Can't do my thing here. Don't have patience for the already known. I want adventure and I want it now!"
Gurb started laughing. "Patience is a virtue." Yes. Patience is all well and good, but I think it's a waste of my time. Gurb grabbed my shoulder.
"I think it's time for another beer."
Louis and I were walking through Leeuwarden a year ago when suddenly a red Ford Ka stopped in front of us. It was Gurb, casually driving around the city. He invited us into his car. We hopped in. Since that afternoon, the three of us were together. A few months later, Louis got a tattoo on his ribs in honor of our friendship. It was the name of our group chat. Braddar Force Indigo.
There were also days when Gurb would take me for a drive around Friesland. He reminded me how beautiful Friesland is. The world doesn't spin there. The newspapers I threw away in the Stiens forest in 2011 could still be lying in the same spot, so to speak.
Just before midnight, I found myself in line for the restroom. My eyes fell on a pair of striking shoes. Cigarette smoke invaded my nose for the fourth time. "Müssen Sie eine Zigarette haben?" a female voice spoke to me. I felt like Tom Hanks in the final scene of Angels & Demons, where the new pope first steps onto the balcony. The curtains opened. There I was, witnessing an important moment in history. I was just told how I was sent by God, but my ears didn't want to hear any of it. At least that's how I felt. My mouth was empty. I had no words left. That's when I knew for sure. Berlin might really be as crazy as literally everyone says.
Dark blond, silky hair. Was this real beauty then? She wouldn't look 40, but I think she was. A true woman. Beautiful in all her elegance. I always joked about being interested in older women, but tonight one stood in front of me. "I don't smoke," I said to her.
Someone tapped me. "Please, just go to the toilet!" He was right. I hadn't peed in a while either. My urine was cloudy. "Glomerulonephritis," I said to myself on the toilet. This is an unusual condition. It's an inflammation in the kidneys, I thought I remembered. They should never have given me access to Google.
The evening progressed, and Louis kept buying rounds. "But seriously now. How does Louis suddenly have all that money for drinks?" I asked Gurb. He was outside smoking with a group of Swiss girls. I had strategically positioned myself so that I could always leave the crime scene if necessary.
"You shouldn't ask me," said Gurb. He was laughing with the temporary girlfriend group of Louis. Gurb has a beard. A lot of chicks like that. I get it too.
As much as I enjoyed Louis and Gurb being here for me, something didn't sit right with me. It couldn't just be about the money. "What's up with him?" I heard one of the Swiss girls say to Gurb.
Those kinds of questions really tire me out. "Not much, with you?" I replied.
They all started laughing. "That's not what she meant, brother," said Gurb.
"I couldn't care less whether she meant it or not. Send that brace-face back to Switzerland. Don't drive me crazy, alright!"
Actually, I hadn't drunk that much that evening. "Two vodka Sprites, please!" It's rare for me to get just one drink. "I always get two drinks, then you have to wait shorter for the third one!" Maybe the alcohol was affecting me more than I wanted to admit. Oh well, it was still the three of us against the world.
"Nice shoes, are those Prada?" I asked a random girl at the bar.
"No, these are fake. Why would I buy real ones for 600 dollars if I could just buy these for 20?"
"..."
I'm not very good at that. Talking. To women.
Louis and Gurb were in the smoking area now. It was less blue than the dance floor itself. My clothes already stank, so a visit to the smoking area couldn't hurt. "These people are so underground!" Gurb shouted. Louis was filming him with his phone. "These people..." There was a brief pause. As if Gurb forgot the only line he had. "...so underground!" All three of us burst into laughter. The alcohol flowed through our veins as if it came from the purest mountains. People seemed doubled and the room was full. We had been in the same club in Berlin for several hours.
"Leonardo! What are you hiding from the big boss?" I sometimes called Louis ‘DiCaprio.’ "You a rich guy, now?" I said, with an accent as if I were from the Bronx.
Louis started laughing. "Eh, you know nothing. Bullshit talk."
I had to laugh too. What was I even worried about? Friends are friends, with or without money. That shouldn't matter. Louis probably just worked for that money. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe he just had enough to buy rounds. But what if my gut feeling was right? That feeling was never wrong. Except for that one time at the Holland Casino in Groningen. Even the best of us have slip-ups. I was just getting worked up again. When it comes down to it, Louis is one of the sweetest guys I know. I had to let it go. After all, it's still Louis.
"I think I'm going to have sex soon, man," Louis said.
"With who?" I asked immediately.
"That one girl."
"Which one?"
"The one with the boobs."
"Oh, her. Just be careful."
"What kind of reaction is that?" Louis asked indignantly.
I'd only had four drinks, but I was acting like a mess. Louis was right. I didn't understand myself. Where was my head at? I'm here in Berlin, supposed to be having the time of my life, but here I am feeling lonely and sad again. Joost once again couldn't control his emotions.
"Sorry," I suddenly said to Louis. "Sorry for my behavior. Been acting dumb towards you all night. It's unnecessary." Sometimes I have that. Mood swings. "Know that crime is never the solution. We've talked about this so many times. Yes, it's tempting and sometimes easy money. I sometimes find it amusing too, but it's always hypothetical. Ask me for help. I can help you, even with illegal things. I'll always have your back." The dancing was kind of over.
The words I had just placed on Louis's plate came from my heart. My Frisian, irregular boys' heart.
Crying in the club. I had never seen myself like that. Crying, yes. In the club, no. I never understood the taboo around crying. Or emotions in general. I saw myself in the mirror. They weren't tears of joy. They weren't tears of sadness either. It was me letting everything go. All the emotions I had ever felt. The emotions I felt between my brother and sister and myself because they wanted to take on a parental role over me, but I was in puberty, so I pushed them away. The emotions I felt when my old neighbors were supposed to take care of my dog, but didn't tell me that he was bitten by one of their dogs. They didn't have money for the surgery, they later told me. They were ashamed of their lack of money. My dog died from this injury. Even the emotions that were all jumping at once during the retake for my swimming diploma A, I let go of.
No emotions. Just for a moment, not feeling anything. Is that too much to ask for?
"You still don’t smoke?"
It had to be the voice of the woman with the cigarettes. I looked over my shoulder through the mirror. It was her. The one with dark blond, silky hair.
"Not to be rude, but this is the men’s room," I said. She took a step closer and kissed me on my lips. It tasted like more. We started kissing. It had been a while since I had had female contact at this level. It probably didn't look good and it didn't feel good either. She started kissing my neck. Slowly, I noticed the pressure in the erectile tissues of my penis starting to increase. "I really don't have time for this!" I thought to myself. The woman with the cigarettes started to slowly sink down until she was on her knees. I didn't want this. Not now, not like this. She unraveled my penis from my Polo Ralph Lauren underwear. Her tongue was blue. It was probably from cheap shots of alcohol.
Was this real beauty then? Was this the beginning or the end of her story? And had I become the boy my parents hoped I would be? I thought about the fact that this was once someone's little daughter. Somewhere in the world, an old man might be wondering what his daughter is doing. Am I really putting pleasure above my own morals and values?
With my semi-erect circumcised penis still exposed, I lifted her up. After giving her a kiss on her forehead, I pulled up my pants and left the toilets.
It was the usual last hour in any club ever. I met Louis and Gurb at the bar. "Should we have another drink?" I asked Gurb. "I feel like having a cocktail. Something sweet. Lots of sugar. What about you?"
Gurb looked at the menu. "A cognac would go down well right now."
"A cognac? You're only nineteen!" Gurb and Louis laughed. "Two Tequila Sunrises please!" I called to the bartender. "Also, two beers! Thanks!" I also got a beer for Louis. At first, I didn't want to, but I didn't want to spoil the mood either. Besides, I didn't want to show too much that it bothered me so much.
We danced away the last minutes. The club closed, and we decided to walk with the group of Swiss girls. Apparently, they were staying nearby.
As I lagged behind the group, one of them tried to start a conversation with me. "Are you okay?" she asked kindly.
"I'm fine. Just had too much beer. Makes me sleepy." Not true at all, but I've heard people say that.
"You’re tired? The fun has only just began!" And as she said this, she pulled something out of her inner pocket. Her clenched fist, shielded by a half jacket. Who is this girl, anyway? I thought to myself. She opened her hand flat, and right in the center of her palm lay two small pills with a smiley face on them. At least, they looked like it.
"Oh, I don’t do drugs. Sorry."
"Me neither!" And she swallowed a pill. "Now it’s your turn... Or are you scared?"
Scared? Who did this crazy Swiss witch (with really beautiful eyes) think she was. With her "are you scared". I'll show her who's scared.
"Scared? I’m not scared." I picked up the remaining pill and swallowed it.
Everything went in slow motion. Was this who I had become? Was this the same boy from high school? And just before I could swallow, I spat out the pill. She was shocked. I picked up the pill again, dried it with my jacket, and put it back in her fist. "Maybe later!" I shouted, running back to the group, over my shoulder.
I have nothing to say to 9 out of 10 peers I come across. Of course, I can be social. I can also have fun with random people in random situations, but that night, it just tired me out. I also didn't understand what we were doing there. Those girls found me strange anyway. Suddenly, I was the fifth wheel.
"We know this place where they go until 7 in the morning!" The girl leader of the group spoke. I wanted to go home. "If you guys want, you can go. Don't worry about me," I said to Gurb and Louis. The boys had a brief discussion. We agreed to stay for just a little while longer for some drinks. I consented. I was thirsty. "I'll have a Fanta, Louis."
Gurb had reached the last cigarette in his pack. Louis and a girl from the group were nowhere to be found. It didn't even bother me. This guy just walks around with some cash in his pocket and all hell breaks loose. After a night full of stimuli, I understood Louis. Of course, I understood Louis. He's a young god. Handsome, smart guy. But that didn't make me any less angry. It was purely about trust for me. Something inside me said I should stop subconsciously expecting things from people too. It prevents disappointment.
"Hotel please!" I jokingly suggested to Gurb. "Should you call Louis or should I?" I added. Gurb immediately grabbed his Android smartphone and called Louis. He put the call on speaker.
"Are you ready?" Gurb asked.
"Yeah. Sort of."
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't have sex."
"That's fine, right? Tomorrow's a new day!"
"I think I'm in love, man," Louis said.
"...," Gurb said, chuckling as he let out a sigh.
Once we arrived at the girls' hostel, it was already getting light. Louis was thankfully back. There were stains on his pants, around his knees. My focus was solely on arranging a taxi. Although the boys were still flirting, I was really done now. "How are we going to pay for this taxi?" I said a bit too loudly.
There was a silence. "Don't worry. I still have cash," Gurb said.
"Yeah, I knew you would," I replied.
My words clearly hit Louis. "What do you mean by that?" he said.
It was as if time stood still for a few seconds. "Exactly what I said. Better listen." Louis pulled out a small wad of green bills from his pocket. At least 400 euros. "I don't even want to see that money," I reacted. I walked away.
I'll just order a taxi myself.
"Why are you walking away now?" Gurb said.
"Twelve hours ago, I was alone too, and I had a lot more fun then."
"Do you really want to know how I got this money?" Louis said.
Yes, I did want to know. My whole evening revolved around that damn money.
He took a second of pause before he began speaking. "The answer lies in the Mini."
What on earth could be in Gurb's mother's car? Louis was trying to get into my head. "Taxi!"
Once in the taxi, the division was clear. Gurb was upfront, chatting animatedly with the driver. All adventures ever were recounted. Louis and I in the back. One of my best friends since I was thirteen. Funny how things turn out. It was quiet between us. I was in my head, rehearsing how I would bring up the money again. It didn't add up, and he knew it himself. "I don't care, you know," I said, hoping he'd break.
"What don't you care about?"
"About that money."
"What money? You're really a crazy woozy man." Louis burst out laughing again.
On the other hand, it was silent. Gurb had started talking about the driver's family. The driver didn't appreciate it. Gurb meant well. The driver smelled of alcohol. Or was it me? His nails were polished. Maybe his wife was a specialist. I bite my nails myself. Like now.
"In the Mini, oh yeah."
"Shut up. Illegal man."
"You'll never know."
"Stop playing. Just say it!"
Louis grabbed my head, pulled himself towards me, and brought his mouth to my right ear. "Why so serious?" he whispered. He didn't want to tell me.
"But always with this damn money, huh?" I almost shouted at Louis. I broke every silence within a radius of 10 kilometers.
"I'm trying my best, bro. It is what it is. I can't make it any different," he replied. It was clearly bothering him deeply. He ran his hands through his hair. "Sometimes people have to do things. And you know that better than anyone. Sometimes they have to do things they don't really want to or aren't supposed to do."
I knew this spiel all too well. Through all the drunken haziness, I suddenly saw a small glimmer of light. A tiny spark of sincerity. Louis was serious this time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to involve you in this. I'm sorry," sweat dripped from his forehead.
"You're serious, huh? Damn, man. What mess have you gotten yourself into now? Worse than Terschelling?" Worse than Terschelling would mean stolen goods. Maybe even violence.
"It's not what you think."
"The Adlon Hotel, right?" the driver chimed in. Always saved by the bell, that Louis.
Suddenly I hit my head against the seat in front of me. Of course, I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. The last thing I saw was Gurb waking up in panic from his drunken stupor. One by one, I started losing my senses. It started with the feeling in my fingers. For a brief moment, everything wasn't quite black, and I could only see a vague pattern of colors repeating inside my eyelids. You could compare it to the brief moment after the commercial break before the movie starts in the cinema. The movie was about to begin.
I knew I wasn't dying. At least not yet. Not like this. Not after an overall mediocre night out in Berlin. I found comfort in the image I forced myself to see. It was all in my head. There I was, unconscious.
I saw myself in a third-person point of view. It wasn't like I was actually leaving my body. More like there was a webcam hanging in one of the upper corners of the taxi.
As a child, I used to dream a lot about death. Nights spent awake.
At some point, I developed a kind of compulsive behavior. I kept swaying my torso from left to right with my hands under my head. It became almost like a workout before bedtime. Every night.
I called it dream shuffling. Just like I had learned to shuffle puzzle pieces or playing cards. Making things a little exciting for yourself. But what I almost never told anyone was that I was scared. I was afraid of burglars, who were very agile and muscular.
Especially afraid that they would murder me. I really wanted to know what death was like. It scared me.
These fear visions originated during an all-inclusive vacation in Turkey. I was 6 years old and already in bed. There was a big old TV in our hotel room, so I could secretly watch TV from bed. Every evening, my parents sat on the balcony. Here they discussed their day while enjoying a glass of alcohol. There was a Japanese animated series on TV. In the few seconds that I watched, I saw a scary creature climbing a sort of apartment complex via the balconies. The creature had hundreds of teeth and blond hair. It quickly entered to decapitate the people, then drained them and, as a final insult, robbed them. Dozens of carcasses of dead people were scattered around the apartment complex. The complex on TV resembled the resort where we were in reality, and the TV world merged with my surroundings. I became part of it. I saw people watching. No matter how loudly I screamed for help, they didn't react. The sun became very bright, and the people turned into nothing more than shadows. As the intensity of the sun increased, something became clear to me. These were not people. They had a sort of orange skin. Where I had previously thought it was their nose and mouth, it turned out that these shadowy figures did not have such physical features. They simply had three holes in their heads. The police tried to do something, but in vain. Since then, we always kept the light on in the hallway outside my bedroom. By rocking back and forth, from left to right, I could glance fleetingly at the beam of light under the door. That bit of light, escaping from the hallway into my room, gave me an advantage. It allowed me to stay one step ahead of the burglars. Pretty smart, right?
"From Jamaica to the world!
It’s just love. Why must the children play in the street?"
It was Bob Sinclar with "Love Generation" speaking to us through the taxi's speakers. We were stationary. I was conscious again, but I didn't feel alive at all. "How long was I out?" I asked Louis.
I could tell by his expression that he was relieved. Relieved that I was back. "One minute," he almost apologized. Louis gave me a pat on the shoulder. Gurb, on the other hand, was sleeping. He slept like a baby cub.
I put my right index finger on my forehead. It felt wet, but it wasn't blood. Blood feels different. Meanwhile, I kept hearing whistling.
"Be the love generation! Oh yeah!" It was still that same song by Bob Sinclar.
The earlier scent of alcohol had now been replaced by the smell of incense. It smelled like the same incense I had in my room. Sold to me as Tibetan 39 incense. I had bought it at a coffee shop in Rotterdam. I pulled up my notes on my phone. "Who lights incense in a CAR????" I let Louis read from my screen. He took the phone from my hands and started typing as well.
"Look at Gurb >>>" Gurb was so deeply asleep that his head drooped. His seatbelt held his torso in place, but his head ended up on the driver's shoulder. The man didn't mind. He didn't move. I made eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and soon I found him. He winked at me.
We arrived at the hotel. Gurb awakened from his alcoholic hibernation. "Who's going to pay for the taxi?" I asked. Clearly rhetorical. I already knew I would take this one for the team, as usual. I refused to use Louis's money. It was uncomfortably quiet. "By card please," I said.
"I'll always protect you, Louis. You really need to know that. I care about you like my own little brother. I'll always try to help you. But you have to be honest with me. Can you do that?" Louis didn't hesitate.
"Yes. Yes, I can. I'll show you. It's really in the Mini." Meanwhile, the taxi driver's card machine indicated that I had insufficient funds. That couldn't be right. Maybe I had withdrawn too much that evening.
"I have cash in the hotel room," Gurb said to me. Gurb informed the driver in broken English that he would go get his cash. The driver agreed. Money is money, whether it comes now or later. As long as it feels good in your hands.
Louis and I got out of the taxi. "You're not going to light a cigarette now, are you?" Louis wanted to smoke. "Especially for stress. That's really for people who can't handle pain. You need to feel pain. Pain needs to brand you for the rest of your life so you finally learn not to do such stupid things." It fell silent again. My blood boiled. All pots were on the stove. I felt like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. "Show me then. Do it."
Louis remained silent and walked around the corner of the hotel. Towards the parking lot. I followed him. "You're not going to find much," said Louis.
"Why not? Are you a magician?"
"No. Just. Not much."
"So there's suddenly magically nothing in Gurb's car?"
"Stop. Get out. Get out of my head!" Louis shouted. Louis had had enough. He was done with the parade. Normally we dealt with hypothetical stories. Only this time it wasn't a joke. I was sure now. Louis had dropped his mask. The revolution had begun. The government had fallen and the dikes had broken. The people were in charge. "You shouldn't freak out like this. Always wanting more. Sweet boy, think about yourself."
After Gurb gave the money to the driver, he came to us. He had a smile on his face, lit a cigarette, and exclaimed, "Brothers!" Once with us, he hugged me. He started laughing. "Maybe I haven't been entirely honest either." Sometimes Gurb seemed like a 38-year-old man. In a positive way. He exuded confidence in a way I didn't often see. Affectionate, with a hint of authority.
We stood in the middle of a large parking lot. "Look. We've reached a point where I might not even care anymore. You guys are teasing me." It did matter to me. Maybe more than ever. I was supposed to be two steps ahead of them, but I couldn't figure it out. "I give up."
The delightful silence returned. Louis and Gurb looked at each other. "You guys win. Apparently, I'm not to be trusted as a friend."
From Louis's expression, I could tell he disagreed with this. "Not true. Come to the car."
We arrived at the car. Louis unlocked it and searched for the trunk button. Gurb had started his third cigarette. "It's a corpse, isn't it? Say it now. I can still help you. I can still help us. I can book a ticket for you. We can get you out of here," I said to Louis.
"Just wait. Nutcase."
"Why won't you accept my help?"
Louis started laughing nervously. Or at least it seemed that way. Perhaps a sly laugh too. Had Louis killed someone? "It's not a corpse. That can't be. You wouldn't be stupid enough to use their ID. You're smarter than that. So it must be something stolen. Haven't you found that button yet?"
Suddenly, we heard a click. Louis had found the button. Somewhere, I didn't want to know. Shouldn't I just trust Louis? Wasn't that the whole point of friendship?
Finally, the moment had arrived. I placed my right hand in the slot of the rear hatch. Something in me doubted. Still. I still doubted. Louis looked dead serious. "You wanted to know, didn't you? Then you also have to be man enough to accept it." Louis was clearly not joking. Or was he acting again? "Pussy," Louis said. I looked away. "You're afraid of what's inside, huh? You're afraid of the real Louis." He began to laugh manically. "Open that thing, man. Nutcase!"
I started laughing too. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? Sweat broke out from every pore in my body. It was even a bit damp in the no man's land between my scrotum and my anus. A tropical climate. It had been quite an adventure the whole evening. I took my hand off the rear hatch and first gave Louis a hug. Not some half-hearted birthday wish. No, a real hug.
"It's okay, buddy," Louis said to me. I had no idea what he meant by that. It fit the moment though.
It was really time now. I opened the rear hatch.
"Where is it?"
"In front of you," said Louis.
"In some secret compartment?"
There was nothing in the trunk. Absolutely nothing. An empty trunk. For an empty evening, in an empty Berlin, with an empty group of guys. I didn't get it.
"You won, man," I whispered. "You finally fucking done did it."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Empty? There was still nothing in the car. Louis just stood there. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I had felt every emotion this evening. Seen every color and smelled every scent. I was done. My body was ready. No longer needed. My mission was complete.
"But why did you do this?" I asked Louis, laughing.
He scratched his chin. It felt like the end of a bad movie.
"I sold our Playstation. Wanted to tell you only after I had sorted everything out again. I terminated my lease. Had some debts, and I also wanted to have some money for once. Once not empty-handed in the club. Once not dependent on my best friends. This is not who I am... I know how much that Playstation meant to you. It was ours together. I should have just told you."
"… and how does Gurb actually make his money?"