Dangers of injecting pills

TW for anatomical terms!
I am pre-everything and decided I wanted to freeze my eggs prior to starting T. The reasons I chose to do so are because I am sure I want biological children in the future and I am sure I want to start T, so I did not want to go through the emotional whirlwind of getting off T, going through the process, and then back on T. I’m also 27, I don’t think I’ll be ready to have kids for at least another 5 years, and they say the earlier the better. The biggest factor was that my insurance plan covers pretty much all of the first cycle for people who have a gender dysphoria diagnosis, and one is all I needed. I just wanted to share my experience in case anyone was thinking about it or curious in general.
Cost: The way American insurance works is I order for the insurance company to start paying for your medical expenses, you have to meet what is called a deductible. Mine is $500. I paid that basically after my first visit to the fertility clinic. After that there were some fees that weren’t covered by ANY insurance. This ended up being $1000. I also had to pay a copay for my medication of $120. Altogether one cycle cost me $1620. The pros of this is that I have met my deductible for the year and am close to spending my out of pocket max, which will bode in my favor for top surgery (consultation is in July!!!)
Process: My first appointment was to meet my doctor and she legit gave a PowerPoint presentation about the entire process from start to finish. My doctor was Dr. Milroy from UNC Fertility. I cannot recommend her and her staff enough, I was never misgendered or deadnamed once from day one. Everyone from the front desk to reception were incredibly kind and welcoming. After this first appointment it was about a month before I ordered all my medication and started the process. Being a trans patient, they made sure all of my monitoring appointments were done via ultrasound instead of transvaginal which was amazing for my mental health. This is how it works: you have a period, then start taking birth control pills. I started birth control on 4/24. On 5/7, I had a monitoring appt (ultrasound and bloodwork). Injections started on 5/11. I had two shots I took to my belly once a night at the same time. I had another monitoring appt on 5/15. Then one more shot was added, so I was doing 3 every night instead of 2. I then had a monitoring appt on 5/17 and 5/19. I didn’t take any of my normal shots on the 19th, instead I took what’s called a trigger shot, which is a single shot of a different medication taken at a very specific time (mine was 9:45). I then had bloodwork appt yesterday just to confirm the trigger shot worked. After that I was all done - retrieval was today so the process is officially over.
Physical/emotional effects: I definitely felt way more sensitive the week of my injections, and overall way more tired by the end of the day. Other than that, I felt normal. The injections didn’t hurt /bother me either. I was definitely very uncomfortable yesterday and this morning, I just felt very bloated and crampy, but this is to be expected since my ovaries were so enlarged. I was completely knocked out for the retrieval, and I was prescribed oxy for the pain so I’m feeling pretty good right now. I got 14 eggs total which is great, and now I can finally start T! Going to give myself ~2 weeks to recover and let my hormones level out but I’m honestly just so happy it’s over. I finally get to physically transition and have the peace of mind of knowing my genetic dna is up for grabs whenever I’m ready.
Overall I am glad I did this and recognize how lucky I am to be able to afford it. I had a good experience overall but I’m so happy it’s over so I can continue with my transition. I wrote this on mobile so hopefully the format isn’t complete shit. If you have any questions feel free to AMA!

I'm into politics, philosophy, etc, and I've watched a decent amount of PT in the past year or so to see what resources she pulls up so that I can learn more about other topics. I'm currently watching her new video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVilpxowsUQ) on Judith Butler, and a lot of what Butler is saying is complete nonsense to me

• Gender is a performance, gender is only playing into stereotypes and trends and nothing more
• "Gender is a thing we do through repeated stylistic acts. Not a property but an embodied event"
• Compares all genders to dressing up as a femboy
• Saying that everyone (including trans people) have no true gender, gender is chosen throughout time and is always as fluid as the clothes you wear
• Claims that gender is performative (in its philosophical meaning) meaning the only thing needed to be that gender is to say you are/"do it" by putting on clothing/makeup etc
• Blamed the idea of sex-gender relation on the patriarchy and takes nonsense believed hundreds of years ago to support the idea that sex is in no way related to gender
• Then goes on to say actually sex is made up bc humans are 99.9% identical via DNA (no comment on just how impactful sex chromosomes/hormones/systems are on the entire body) so sex is actually fake and means nothing more than eye color, cites the fact that we used to think that race was more biologically significant than we now know it to be
• Further, sex and gender only exist in the "heterosexual matrix" and we should live in a completely gender-less and sex-less society, women only exist in relation to men and therefore lesbians aren't women because they exist outside the male gaze

I'm only 15 minutes in and I can no longer stand it
If Judith is right, why do I have to inject .25mL of testosterone every week? Why when I don't pack I can't think about that area without tears forming because there's something missing? Why does being called she/her feel out of touch and wrong? Why can't I preform as a woman without feeling literal pain? "Oh well you just don't like performing as a woman" okay but why there is a reason.
I think Butler's main issue is a big one amongst "progressive" trans spaces, she misrepresents gender roles and performance as actual neurological gender. And I feel disappointed that PT, as a trans woman, decided to put that very dangerous content out there (and then tried to save her ass by saying "oh well you can't actually choose your gender here's this incomprehensible quote from one of Butlers paper's saying that's not how it works" when literally everything in her video directly challenges that).
Wondering if anyone else has seen this video and read some of Butler's work and what your thoughts are on it

Hi all, Sorry if this has been asked before...wondering if anyone here has done induced menopause for endo? My gyno mentioned it as an option for me, as progesterone does not seem to be doing the trick. There is limited information online and I don't get back to see my doctor for another month to grill her with questions. I have tried basically all the birth control, and several variations of progesterone. Aside from the obvious question about the symptoms...can anyone provide a little information about their experience? Is it a pill? An injection? Once your body went through menopause, do you have to keep taking the medication? Did your endo symptoms improve after? My gyno says surgery would mostly be pointless, due to my age they would leave my ovaries and the endometriosis can return to them, or basically any organ by the sounds of it... Appreciated in advance. Been dealing with this for what feels like my entire life (first period at 9 yrs old) and am extremely tired and defeated.
Thanks!!

Any advice on this medication? Dr is starting me on Benlysta self injections. I can’t tolerate pills. Been on steroids for a week. Don’t feel anything different but more energy. Still in a lot of pain in my ankles and feet after 4 hrs of standing doing house work. Any suggestions or advice, things to ask the dr. I feel like I need a wheel chair by the end of the day it’s extremely painful to walk

What kind of Dr do you use that will prescribe T injections? My GYN only does cream or estrogen/testosterone combined pills. I’m in Texas.

Paganism has become associated with right-wing political movements and ideologies such as conservatism. Despite what some modern extremists would have you believe, the people of Europe thousands of years ago who practiced the worship of these deities did not have an understanding of race or racism as we have today. Those are colonial constructs and pseudo-scientific because the entire idea of race was made so Europeans could have a sense of solidarity with themselves as they went and plundered other nations and it made anyone not considered “White” as a valid target for plundering or war. Medieval people did not need such a justification
The vikings did not have any issues raiding or plundering other white countries, and even had issues with the United Kingdom. They had trade routes and colonies all over the world, which resulted in many foreigners living in their towns or coming over as merchants or for work. The idea that their faith would be implemented into any supremacist ideology seems to be more reflective of the desire of those involved to be seen as strong, warlike, or masculine (Or other traits associated with the vikings or Germanic peoples) than an actual part of the faith or lifestyle itself. Viking war bands themselves were also not ethnically exclusive. I’m not saying that Vikings lived in a multi-racial utopia or something we would consider inclusive today, but a lot of what reactionaries claim about paganism is historically revisionist at best and an intentional desecration at worst.
The Nazi party of Germany is partially responsible for distorting history to create the idea of a proud warrior culture as well. Esoteric Hitlerism is a thing, but is rarely discussed in conversations because nobody would admit to practicing such a thing to anyone who was not a sympathizer. Within the political party of Germany during the war, there were known occultists and this is the case with Japan’s nationalistic state religion at the time as well. Reactionaries have put a lot of work into distorting various forms of religion for their own political gain, and many religious figures are persecuted under them simply for knowing the truth. Being a legitimate Shinto priest in Japan under the Tojo regime and not being on board with state Shinto was dangerous. Not only are reactionaries desecrating their traditional culture, they are basically against it if it does not serve their totalitarian ambitions.
Germany today is considered one country and one ethnicity, but the origin is a bunch of different tribes like many countries in the world. The ethnicity, cultures, languages, and ideologies of people today are the result of nation-building whether we like it or not. In cases like Thailand, that’s cultural integration of a bunch of tribes at once. I bring this up because in order to properly understand that the ideologies and cultures we have now simply did not exist. If I said that Kemetic paganism is feminist or that Greek Paganism is Anarchist, you would be correct to roll on the floor laughing. I would be injecting not only my own interpretations onto it but also my ideas about it.
So to answer the question in the title, paganism is not an inherently rightist practice. You see extremists trying to claim it because they believe in some genetic component while neglecting to actually research and know what their ancestors would have actually believed. The extremist Norse pagan probably makes their viking ancestors very confused or ashamed in why they dislike foreigners so much. If the past was a different country only 50-100 years ago, then the past of thousands of years ago was a completely different world entirely with people that most likely would not have opinions about society or modern life that fit neatly into our political ideas or could be easily categorized by our modern ways of thinking.

Paganism has become associated with right-wing political movements and ideologies such as conservatism. Despite what some modern extremists would have you believe, the people of Europe thousands of years ago who practiced the worship of these deities did not have an understanding of race or racism as we have today. Those are colonial constructs and pseudo-scientific because the entire idea of race was made so Europeans could have a sense of solidarity with themselves as they went and plundered other nations and it made anyone not considered “White” as a valid target for plundering or war. Medieval people did not need such a justification
The vikings did not have any issues raiding or plundering other white countries, and even had issues with the United Kingdom. They had trade routes and colonies all over the world, which resulted in many foreigners living in their towns or coming over as merchants or for work. The idea that their faith would be implemented into any supremacist ideology seems to be more reflective of the desire of those involved to be seen as strong, warlike, or masculine (Or other traits associated with the vikings or Germanic peoples) than an actual part of the faith or lifestyle itself. Viking war bands themselves were also not ethnically exclusive. I’m not saying that Vikings lived in a multi-racial utopia or something we would consider inclusive today, but a lot of what reactionaries claim about paganism is historically revisionist at best and an intentional desecration at worst.
The Nazi party of Germany is partially responsible for distorting history to create the idea of a proud warrior culture as well. Esoteric Hitlerism is a thing, but is rarely discussed in conversations because nobody would admit to practicing such a thing to anyone who was not a sympathizer. Within the political party of Germany during the war, there were known occultists and this is the case with Japan’s nationalistic state religion at the time as well. Reactionaries have put a lot of work into distorting various forms of religion for their own political gain, and many religious figures are persecuted under them simply for knowing the truth. Being a legitimate Shinto priest in Japan under the Tojo regime and not being on board with state Shinto was dangerous. Not only are reactionaries desecrating their traditional culture, they are basically against it if it does not serve their totalitarian ambitions.
Germany today is considered one country and one ethnicity, but the origin is a bunch of different tribes like many countries in the world. The ethnicity, cultures, languages, and ideologies of people today are the result of nation-building whether we like it or not. In cases like Thailand, that’s cultural integration of a bunch of tribes at once. I bring this up because in order to properly understand that the ideologies and cultures we have now simply did not exist. If I said that Kemetic paganism is feminist or that Greek Paganism is Anarchist, you would be correct to roll on the floor laughing. I would be injecting not only my own interpretations onto it but also my ideas about it.
So to answer the question in the title, paganism is not an inherently rightist practice. You see extremists trying to claim it because they believe in some genetic component while neglecting to actually research and know what their ancestors would have actually believed. The extremist Norse pagan probably makes their viking ancestors very confused or ashamed in why they dislike foreigners so much. If the past was a different country only 50-100 years ago, then the past of thousands of years ago was a completely different world entirely with people that most likely would not have opinions about society or modern life that fit neatly into our political ideas or could be easily categorized by our modern ways of thinking.

I've been on Emgality since Oct 31 2023. I've been taking it monthly since and have had a fair bit of luck being on it. I went from roughly 15 migraines a month down to 5-7. I've used Rizatriptan for most of the duration as a rescue medication and it works fairly well but I found that I would have to lay down in bed for an hour or two in order for it to be effective, otherwise it wouldn't do anything other than make me a little drowsy and feel drained. I've recently switched to Nurtec as a rescue but have yet to take one after almost two weeks. Amazing how good it feels to not have a migraine for such a long time! But, I have noticed the Emgality to be linked to a greater problem that I hadn't noticed until just last week. Last week I had horrible abdominal pain and I realized I hadn't been having consistent BMs since starting the emgality. I was so bad I went to urgent care and they gave me the same remedy they give those undergoing colonoscopies to flush me out (xrays showed a ton of stool). It worked and it started to rebound after a couple of days. Since, I've been put on MiraLAX to help keep a consistent BM, and so far things have been going fine. However my Nuero told me to stop taking the Emgality and we're seeking a different option. Doesn't look like Aimoveg is an option due to its chances of constipation too, and Ajovy is not covered by my insurance, nor is Botox. Looks like she's going to fight for me to take Nurtec every other day, but wants me to report back in a week before we get a plan. I have about 10 days before I need to start another Emgality dose, or I'm going to start going through withdrawals so I hope she has something ready right away so I dont have to wait for insurance approval/denial and start going back to how I was premedication while things get sorted out.
I also suffer from dysphagia so swallowing pills is next to impossible. It was hard enough taking the ones I did before my insurance approved of the injections. I took 3 different ones, can't remember the names but they all caused a lot of GI problems and made me feel very tired.
Anyone know of an alternative if the Nurtec doesn't get approved? Basically, the way I see it is if they don't approve the Nurtec as a preventative, I have very little options, or none that I know of. if that's the case, i'm also surely going to revert back to how I was months ago and be forced to file for disability seeing as my insurance is being of no help by not allowing me to try the other medications. I dont want to be on disability but I feel like I will have no other financial choice either. It's not something I can just "tough" through while at work. Migraines are the worst.....

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s_igs_rep_page/
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sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
9 Years of Shadows
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman: Arkham Origins
Battle Academy 2: Eastern Front
Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
BioShock Infinite
Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
Borderlands Game of the Year Enhanced
Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
Craft Keep VR
Crazy Belts
Creeping Terror
Creepy Tale
Crewsaders
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead Age 2
Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
Devil's Hunt
Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
Eternity: The Last Unicorn
Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
Fury Unleashed
Gamedec
GameGuru
Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman: Arkham Origins
Battle Academy 2: Eastern Front
Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
BioShock Infinite
Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
Borderlands Game of the Year Enhanced
Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
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Last Thursday I got my 3rd ever ESI from my PM. It went smooth enough, I had some help around the house for the first couple of days, but it's day 5 and I'm still in pain from it. I usually see one of the PM FNPs and we'll message each other through the portal. I'd say we have a good relationship. If I've needed to take extra pills during a flare up, I've told her. She told me that if I email her, she knows that I'm in pain. I finally needed to shave and shower yesterday. I felt like filth. I noticed two bandaids on each side of my spine. I kept it brief and tried not to twist or bend. Usually my pain tolerance is high. When I emailed her after, she said that it would be sore for at least a week. The doctor said less but he doesn't see me often. I know ESIs aren't FDA approved and it's hit or miss if they work. However I wanted to show that I'm in enough pain to get another one and I'm kinda hopeful it will work. If my injection pain isn't over for a couple more days, do you think I would have lost any potential benefit of the cortisone? I'm missing workouts like Pilates and strength training that helps my back. Does anyone who has had these feel the benefit outweighs the risk at this point? I am 41, 5'10", 150 lbs, with degenerative disc disease, primarily in L4, L5, S1. I'm thinking of peptides and regenerative medicine as the next step, but first is getting over this pain.

F25 5’8 SW: 235lbs GW: 165lbs CW: 228.8lbs
First week down, and on day 8 I’ve lost a total of 6.2 pounds! I’m getting 1000-1200 calories a day (not for lack of trying to eat more but getting full very fast). I’m also walking 10k steps a day and lifting 2 times a week.
I had basically no side affects this week except a little nausea in the 3 hours post injection. I had the best sleep I’d had in months the night of injection, and I woke up so energized and rested. I’ve been waking up earlier a lot easier. Appetite suppression was v high days 1-3 at a “I don’t want to eat anything, but I have an alarm set to tell me when to eat” level, then tapered off to a “I could eat but I don’t really want to, so I will eat when the alarm rings” level days 4-6, and today I felt a little bit of a desire to eat more (another boiled egg though haha). Food noise remained gone the whole time, the sound of silence has been glorious!!
The weekend was definitely a test, I went to brunch on Saturday and I got a full English which I normally would have demolished, but I could only barely finish half. For a late lunch I ate the other half and half of a slice of banana bread my partner picked. I can tell you the banana bread was a bit of a mistake, it felt like a stone in my stomach for a couple hours.
I dropped most of the weight days 1-4. My weight stalled between 228 and 229. Not sure why? It could be initial water retention from working out, or TMI warning ⚠️ : starting my period on day 3 (even though I’m on the pill??), or something else entirely.
Still feeling positive regardless, excited to keep going with all of you!!

Y’all I finally got approved and am doing my fist dose tomorrow. For those of you for whom Emgality has helped, how long did you have to take it before it started making a difference. I know better than to expect immediate relief, but given the nature of the monoclonal injection I suspect it would be faster than pills.

I was in the hospital for a week getting steroid injections and upon discharge had to start taking pill form prednisolone which is messing me up terribly I think. My legs and joints from the hips down have extreme pain and I have collapsed under my own weight several times trying to walk or stand. My vision gets blurry and I've got a constant 24/7 migraine.
Went to the ER yesterday and the doctor said Prednisone doesn't cause any of that (I told him to check with the manufacturer because it's listed everywhere). The doc wrote me off and discharged me within an hour of arrival.
Someone tell me I'm not crazy here. I'm waiting to see another doc over telehealth to see if I should head to another ER or stop.l taking the med.

My husband committed 4.5 months ago. We got his tox report back and drugs were involved. He has a history of drug use and was clean for years, until he met an old friend who was a user.
Well last night, me and his best friend were cleaning the basement. I found a skull jar that had a pill bottle in it and it was full of the dangerous prescription drug he was on.
I feel like I’m in shock all over again. I don’t know what to think. I feel sick that I’ve had drugs in my basement AND he had a stash of this drug on hand. I was doing ok with my grief and now it’s like starting all over again

What if the nurse reused the needle that he used to inject near the site of the wound from other patient then he used the same needle to give you injection? Location: philippines
Backstory: me and my daughter were getting prep but when its my daughter’s turn the nurse pulled out the capped of the syringe and then the needle wasnt on the syringe so i saw him looked on his desk so first he threw out something form his desk to his paper bag that he used to throw away needles then he grabbed the capped and screw it to the syringe and gave the vaccine to my daughte. I havent thought of it much but now im thinking what if he grabbed a dirty needle from a previous patient and used it to my daughter will my daughter get rabies from it? Also after 2 doses we stopped because in that bite center they are very unsterile but after a month i thought od this possibility we went to a private clinic to get the remainder dose but the thing is the Nurse recommends to do IM instead of ID with same dose of 0.1ml saying its the same effect and they do it to young children mine is 4 years old. She recommended that after i told her that the previous ID vaccine given to my chil both of them leaked. So i researched(google) that if its IM dose should be 1ml and not 0.1 for ID that means the dose given was insufficient and not sure it its enough to protect her in case she got exposed with rabiea virus. My anxiety is over the roof now. I wanted to have her titer check but its so hard to find a clinic or hospiral that does it here. The doctor recommends to go back on that clinic to get the full dose for IM or another ID but im bot sure if i should do that first my daughter is already terrified of injections and im not sure if it is safe to have another vaccine since last visit she was fiven 3rd and 4th dose on each arm stating we are 1 month behind already on schedule. I feel so bad i feel like i put my daughters life in danger because we took prep for rabies. I decided to get prep because one time we are eating ice cream and a dog passed by while salivation my amxiety kicked in and decided to have rabies vaccine.

TL;DR - after several years of bad sleep, I exhausted every other treatment and am now in CBTI. But CBTI feels like they're treating a different person with different sleep issues. Does it actually work? (I know there are papers claiming that it works, but the execution seems so terrible, I don't see how it could work.)
M47. Around 3.5-4 years ago, my sleep started to degrade and I began to have memory issues. I've jumped through a lot of hoops since then - three sleep studies, 10 months of CPAP (only for the lab sleep study to show inconsequential sleep apnea), urologist/ultrasound showing no issues, etc. I'm now doing CBTI (with my second provider, the first was useless.) That last sleep study showed that my sleep goes through all of the normal steps, and I'm not being woken up by a need to urinate or leg movement or any other potential issue.
My basic sleep pattern is:

1. Take THC edibles (20 mg is best) prior to bedtime
2. Lay down, turn off lights, fall asleep within 5 minutes (never had an issue with sleep latency)
3. Wake up after ~90 minutes
4. Lie there for a couple of minutes, get up and go to the bathroom, come back, fall asleep in a few minutes
5. Repeat steps 3-4, but at some point, I can't fall asleep again
6. If it's 3:30 or earlier, take more edibles (5-10 mg)

The CBTI provider is very focused on, as a first step, getting me to stop taking the additional dose in the middle of the night. He now wants me to take sleeping pills to get me to sleep all night with just the nighttime dose. He suggested Dayvigo, but my PCP said she wouldn't prescribe it; she said if I wanted sleeping pills, I should start with Trazodone, and only if that didn't work, should I move on to something else.
I really don't have much faith in CBTI at this point. Though my new provider is better, it always feels like they're trying to force-fit me into somebody else's symptoms. I tried to cut my THC use at the provider's request, but I end up having a terrible night's sleep after 5 or 6 nights, and it seems like CBTI says I need to just suck it up and somehow make it through the day.
I told the CBTI guy that the day after a poor sleep (say 4 hours) are very difficult. My cognitive capabilities are extremely degraded - I have more memory trouble than usual, and I will often just trail off in the middle of a sentence or lose track of what I was doing. I also feel like I'm a danger driving home from work. I have a 50-mile drive and at the 30-35 mile mark, I have to talk to someone on the phone and pull on my hair or dig into my scalp to stay awake. Thankfully I'm only going in two days/week.
CBTI guy seemed to dispute my reality. Something about how one bad sleep shouldn't do this to me, and that people find out that they don't quite perceive the impact of their sleep issues correctly. Say what you want, but I think I'm a pretty good judge of when I feel like I'm going to crash into the divider on the highway.
It all feels very adversarial. The first provider I had was atrocious. She would get mad at me for using the term "sleep cycles", she told me that my radar sleep sensor doesn't work even though she didn't know what it was (and I tried to explain that I merely use it to keep track of how many times I got out of bed during the night, which it's really good at, but she wouldn't listen), and even got annoyed at me for saying I wake up 4-5 times/night because in reality I have additional imperceptible wakes (the sleep study showed 14 total) but it should be obvious that I'm only talking about the ones I notice!
In my most recent appointment with the new guy, I told him that I tried taking THC only at bedtime as we discussed, but eventually I ended up getting a really bad sleep, and all I can think about the next day is how I'm going to go to bed early and get more sleep to make up for the previous night. He threw out the whole "paradoxically, that doesn't work to go to bed earlier, you need to maintain the same bedtime and wake time." This feels like he's just grafting CBTI dogma onto me. Yes, many people who have insomnia do not get more sleep if they go to bed earlier. But I do! And if we have no plan and we're messing with my THC dosage, I'd much rather recover from a bad night's sleep than do some sleep hygiene b.s. that has not been shown to improve your sleep.
I asked how many weeks the treatment would take if we went down the sleeping pills path and it took forever to pin him down at 8 weeks. I said it would be good to give me a doctor's note so that I don't need to drive into the office. He thought this was very weird (it was actually suggested to me by the previous provider) and unnecessary. But if we're going to restrict my sleep and make me exhausted, why would you want me to do something that's dangerous to myself and others?
I could go on. It feels like the goal is to find fault with what I say and do, but without offering me any details into what the plan is. I told him today that I needed a schedule with stages and I couldn't deal with these ad hoc modifications to my sleep. He agreed but said it would take him time to do it - am I the first person who ever asked for this?
Does this sound like typical CBTI?

Warning Includes suicide
A Life Without Cheese
In the serene town of Willowbrook, where rolling hills and lush forests painted the landscape, there resided a man named Oliver. He was a figure well-known in the community, not for any grand accomplishments or flamboyant personality, but for his unwavering devotion to cheese. Oliver's love for cheese was legendary, a passion that bordered on obsession. From the pungent blues to the delicate camemberts, he savored each variety with the reverence of a connoisseur.
On a brisk autumn afternoon, Oliver decided to venture into the nearby woods, drawn by the allure of nature's splendor. As he wandered along the winding trails, a glint of movement caught his eye. Nestled amidst a cluster of fallen leaves, he spotted a peculiar creature—a small, tick-like insect with an unusual yellow hue. Intrigued by its uniqueness, Oliver reached out to examine it closer, unaware of the danger lurking within.
With a sudden flash of movement, the creature sank its minuscule fangs into Oliver's flesh, injecting a potent venom into his bloodstream. At first, Oliver felt nothing more than a slight prick, dismissing it as a harmless encounter with nature. However, as the days passed, he began to experience a series of alarming symptoms.
It started with a persistent itching at the site of the bite, followed by a spreading rash that crawled across his skin like wildfire. Soon, his throat grew tight, constricting his ability to breathe, and his body erupted in violent fits of coughing. Panic surged through him as he struggled to comprehend the sudden onslaught of agony.
Rushed to the town's modest hospital, Oliver was met with a flurry of activity as doctors and nurses worked tirelessly to stabilize his rapidly deteriorating condition. Amidst the chaos, one word hung heavy in the air—cheese. Through a series of rigorous tests and examinations, it was revealed that Oliver had developed a severe allergy to cheese, triggered by the venom of the enigmatic creature that had bitten him.
The news struck Oliver like a thunderbolt, shattering his world into a million fragmented pieces. Cheese, once his greatest pleasure, had become his greatest enemy. The thought of indulging in his favorite delicacies now filled him with a profound sense of dread and despair. The cheeses that had once adorned his kitchen shelves now mocked him from their confinement, taunting him with their forbidden allure.
As days turned into weeks, Oliver found himself ensnared in the suffocating grip of depression. His once-vibrant spirit withered like a flower deprived of sunlight, leaving behind only the hollow shell of a man consumed by sorrow. The laughter that had once filled his home now echoed off its walls, a haunting reminder of happier times long since past.
Desperate to escape the torment of his own mind, Oliver withdrew from the world around him, retreating into the solace of solitude. His friends and family, though well-meaning in their efforts to offer support, found themselves powerless in the face of his relentless anguish. Each day became a battle for survival, a relentless struggle against the invisible chains that bound him to his suffering.
Alone in the darkness of his room, Oliver wrestled with his demons, tormented by memories of a life that once brimmed with joy and vitality. He longed to reclaim the simple pleasures that had once brought him so much happiness, but the specter of cheese loomed over him like a shadow, casting a pall of despair over his every waking moment.
And so, on a cold, moonless night, Oliver made a decision that would irrevocably alter the course of his fate. With tears streaming down his face, he fashioned a makeshift noose from a length of frayed rope and ascended to the rafters of his attic. With each step, the weight of his despair bore down upon him, threatening to crush him beneath its unbearable burden.
In the silence of the night, Oliver's life came to a tragic end. His body swung gently from the rafters, a silent testament to the cruel whims of fate. And as the town mourned the loss of their beloved cheese aficionado, they were left to ponder the fragility of cheese and the devastating power of a passion turned sour.

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• _Wishbone22
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