So I am kind of in a sticky situation. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years in October, and I absolutely adore him. Sometimes I just don’t feel loved, although I know he does love me he still fails to make me feel it at times. It’s a big lack of communication on his part and we hardly ever spend quality time with one another. It’s just so bad to the point where I mentioned to him a couple of weeks ago that I believe the sex is the only thing that holds us together. He claims one reason we don’t spend a lot of time together is because we are not interested in the same things. He likes to trail ride, ride horses, four wheelers, go to watch horse races, bike races, all things of that nature. He hasn’t even invited me to do any of these things with him, but ONCE the whole time I’ve known him and I didn’t go for other reasons. To be honest I am into all things I can do WITH him I don’t care if it’s sitting outside under a tree doing absolutely nothing. I know he knows this because I voice myself all the time. Honestly I don’t ask him for anything but a little time. He is a busy guy but I just feel like anyone will make time for someone they truly care about. On the other hand, there is this guy who I met a month after my boyfriend who I will refer to as “the neighbor” because he’s my auntie’s neighbor lol. So I met him November 2022 and he has been every bit of sweet to me since I’ve known him. Even after I got serious with my current boyfriend, and let him know that I only wanted to be friends with him, he (the neighbor) is still very kind to me. He’s tried to make further things between us, but even after making things clear that it wasn’t what I wanted, he is still so kind. He compliments me, always makes sure I’m on the right track with school, he’s also just as busy as my boyfriend, they are BOTH very busy men, yet he still tries and does make time to hang out with me. I just all around feel secure and actually wanted with the neighbor. I’ve been giving him the run around the whole 2 year that I have known him because at the time of getting to know him, I was also getting to know my bf. I just really don’t know what to do. I’m 22, will be 23 in July and my boyfriend is 21. I’m aware that we both have a lot of learning to do as we are both really young but I’ve communicated what was a problem to me a million times. I don’t think I want to be with the neighbor because I truly do love my bf but it’s like things aren’t going to get any better although he says we’ll work on it every time we fight about it. I’ve said all this to ask what should I do? Although me and the neighbor are strictly friends, I still feel guilty about hanging out with him because of how I feel during and after I’m with him (it’s a good feeling by the way). We hung out today and he wants to hang out again tomorrow. Do I keep trying with my boyfriend, or put it behind me and go where I feel wanted at? If this isn’t enough information, please say so. I can elaborate more.

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.
Ps. As I've said most of what I've written is from what people told me they saw when they were there so I can't guarantee I'll be able to answer most questions.

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.

Round 11 deadline: Wednesday 22nd May, 9pm GMT

Hi peopleee! Sorry it's been so long since I last posted, I've been pretty busy with stuff. But anyway, let's find out which episodes got the most votes in round 10...
...
Perfect Day. There wasn't really anything interesting about the results this time, but Perfect Day got 4 votes.
Which episode will be eliminated next? It's up to youuuuu.
Vote for the episode that you like *the least. The episode that gathers the most votes will be eliminated with the **22nd place in this game. Make sure you have watched all episodes before voting and don't vote more than once. (I don't think you can anyway)*

VOTE IN ROUND 11 HERE

Round 10 results
Perfect Episodes: (SPOILERS!!!)
S1E1 - Who Do You Think You Are?:

• Alison and Mike inherit Button House
• Ghosts haunt them
• Captain annoyed at Fanny screaming

S1E2 - Gorilla War:

• Mike starts renovating house
• Ghosts annoy Alison
• Alison accepts ghosts as real

S1E3 - Happy Death Day:

• Pat's death day, family visit
• Kitty asks where babies come from
• Captain & Julian try to get rid of builders

S1E5 - Moonah Ston:

• Beg-Chetwyns visit for dinner party
• Captain & Mary help kill/prepare pheasant
• Ghosts do Moonah Ston ritual & watch Friends

S2E3 - Redding Weddy:

• Captain flashback
• A&M clear garden
• Fanny fancies Mike
• Pat keeps ghosts occupied (moon landing video, volleyball)

S2E4 - The Thomas Thorne Affair:

• Thomas death flashbacks
• Mike worries about meeting Alison's ex

S2E5 - Bump in the Night:

• Alison goes out
• Burglars break into house
• Ghosts try to warn Mike

S2E7 - The Ghost of Christmas:

• Mike's family visit for Xmas, parents help too much
• Julian feels guilty about avoiding family at Xmas
• Alison gets presents for ghosts

S3E1 - The Bone Plot:

• TV crew making documentary about Humphrey (death flashback)
• Julian thinks Barclay is having heart attack
• Pat tries to make Fanny & Captain laugh
• Thomas prepares Alison for interview

S3E2 - A Lot to Take In:

• Alison meets Lucy
• Julian remembers first day as ghost
• Mike starts new job
• Kitty & Pat dance

S3E3 - The Woodworm Men:

• A&M camp outside during fumigation
• Kitty watches Grease

S3E4 - I Love Lucy:

• Captain spies on Lucy
• Julian changes Mike's emails
• Fanny has affair with Humphrey's body

S3E5 - Something to Share?:

• Kitty shares story about ball
• Mike tries to find way to see ghosts

S3E6 - Part of the Family:

• Mike films promotional video
• Ghosts find out Lucy is lying
• Ghosts do drama/improvisation club

S4E2 - Speak as ye Choose:

• Annie teaching Mary to say what she wants flashback
• Kitty shows Captain how to live in moment
• Thomas goes cold turkey on Alison addiction
• Mike's old friends stay at gatehouse

S4E3 - The Hardest Word:

• A&M try to have relaxing day
• Ghosts make apology song

S4E4 - Gone Gone:

• Pat cheers Kitty up over Mary moving on
• Mike organises children's birthday party last minute
• Alison helps ghosts deal with their feelings about Mary

S4E6 - Not Again:

• Robin's death flashback
• Mike buys giant bear
• Kitty starts talking by saying opposite of what she means

S4E7 - It's Behind You:

• Ghosts put on panto
• Alison shows Pat old VHS recordings
• A&M get stuck in traffic on way to parents

S5E1 - Fools:

• Alison does April Fool's pranks on ghosts
• Insurance company person investigates insurance claim for fire

S5E3 - Pineapple Day:

• Ghosts figure out how Kitty died
• Mike discusses selling land with Barclay
• Thomas, Julian & Humphrey want blue plaque
• Kitty watches 'Is It Cake?'

S5E5 - Carpe Diem:

• A&M have spontaneous night out
• Robin thinks someone will move on before midnight
• Fanny & Julian make most of possible last day
• Captain's death flashback

Eliminated Episodes:*
34th place: S5E7 - A Christmas Gift
33rd place: S3E7- He Came!
32nd place: S2E1 - The Grey Lady
31st place: S2E2 - About Last Night
30th place: S4E5 - Poached Guests
29th place: S4E1 - Happy Holiday
28th place: S1E4 - Free Pass
27th place: S5E2 - Home
26th place: S1E6 - Getting Out
25th place: S5E4 - En Français
24th place: S5E6 - Last Resort
23rd place: S2E6 - Perfect Day

I’m not sure what to do anymore about these disagreements I’ve been having with my best friend. I [25F] and my friend [24F] have been getting into disagreements lately due to differences of opinion, and to me, they haven’t been something that serious, or something out of my control. For context, we have been friends for 12+ years.
One example is that I tried to go visit her last summer (she lives a few states away from me), and things didn’t end up working out the way we had hoped. Also, she has a very strict schedule, where she can only have some holiday weekends off work. My job was very stingy about letting employees have time off, so I had to see if I could even get off for the dates that she wanted me to come. I had to wait a few weeks before I found out if they would let me have off. In addition to that, I have travel anxiety if I have to be in one of the biggest and busiest airports in the U.S. by myself. I had only flown once before this, and it was with my family, in small airports, so I wasn’t very familiar with what big airports were like or how to navigate them. I was afraid I would get lost and miss my flight and not know what to do, a long way from home. I am not good at thinking on the fly when I’m stressed out, so I expressed this to her. She said that it was easy, but I was still nervous. Meanwhile, I was waiting for my boss to confirm that I could take off, worried that I would be a few states away, still needing to get on another flight in a huge airport by myself, and missing it. The plane tickets kept getting more expensive over the next couple of weeks, and my friend got impatient with me for not booking the flights yet. Then she told me not to come, so I was pretty disappointed, but respected her wishes, because it was her house that I would be staying at. This came the morning after I found out that my time off was approved, and the tickets were a little steep, but I could still afford them. I was going to book the tickets that morning, but she was upset and told me not to, so I let it go. About a week or two later, she asked me again if I was coming. I said no, that she told me not to come, so I respected that and didn’t book the tickets. She got mad at me because she really wanted to see me, and said I was being selfish. I told her that now the tickets were more than I could afford ($1000 round trip), and that when my time off was approved, I wanted to come see her, but she told me not to come, so I thought she didn’t want me there. She said if I had just booked the tickets before then, they wouldn’t have been $1000, but I tried, and she didn’t want me to. She called me selfish, a bad friend, flaky, and said that she can’t count on me for anything, and kept telling me about other friends who came down to visit her (in a way that said “these people are my true friends”), but I wouldn’t. She minimized my travel anxiety that I mentioned to her, by saying she flies out of that airport all the time, and it wasn’t hard at all. I needed to think about someone other than myself and my anxiety. I was going to go through with it despite my anxiety because I was excited to see her, but it ended up not being able to happen. This is just one example, but there have been several the past couple of years.
In these disagreements that didn’t seem to be friendship ending ones, just differences of opinion about little things, things have been blown way out of proportion, and it feels like she is attacking my character. As I mentioned, she has called me flaky, selfish, a bad person and friend, she can never trust me to follow through (even though in 12+ years I have never bailed on her). She said that if I wanted my life to be ruined by anxiety and I never want to do anything worthwhile with my life, then go ahead. She has said I’m bitter, jealous of her, I don’t want her to be happy, I’ll never find a husband, I’m lazy, and I’m going to be left behind in life while she and other people succeed, and that I’d never get my license if I was like this (the last one was in response to me saying I had bad driving anxiety and I wanted to get my license, but it was really hard for me). Spoiler alert: I do have my license now. The list goes on.
Anyway, all that’s to say I’m exhausted by her continuing to put me down and saying I won’t succeed and that I’m a bad person, when we have a difference of opinion. It hurts me, and I’ve expressed that several times. I try to calmly push back and give her evidence to support that I’m not flaky and that I’ve been by her side through 12 years. She gets defensive and says “I’m sorry you feel that way”, and when I tell her it hurts me, and try to counteract the insults, she gets even more mad, and sometimes stone walls me for a few days. I really care about her, and we have had a lot of good memories and years spent together, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I somehow still don’t want to lose her. Advice?

Hi, this one might be a little long... sorry in advance.
My baby daddy and I broke up before our daughter turned 1 She is now almost 4 now. He started dating his now current girlfriend about 4-5 months afterwards.
Since then he's moved in and moved out from his girlfriends, at this point I'm not exactly sure why he moved out. Before he moved out she would call me and asked me for advice or if he did certain things to me. I won't go into a lot of details about everything because it's a lot to type out. The morning he moved out, something traumatic happened to her and she came over because she really needed comfort. For the next month or so, she would call me and complain about my ex and fed me stories about him to that caused some issues between him and I. All she could talk about him, I couldn't have a conversation with her that didn't involve my baby daddy. She also told me not to tell him we were "friends" because he would apparently break up with her.
Since this past December, I stopped talking to her because it was becoming too much and it seemed like she was just looking to cause issues. This past week or so, She's messaged me about thinking she was pregnant... Which this wouldn't be the first time she did this. Today she tried to call me and I'm thinking it's either some kind of problem between my ex and her or that she's pregnant. Which I honestly don't believe because of some of the things she's already said and done. I am at a point where I either want to tell my baby daddy everything she's said to me and tell him that she was behind some of our issues. I know it's not my place to say anything but I personally think they shouldn't be dating. I don't like the idea of her helping raise my child, given this woman is in her 30's and has shown no signs of maturing past her teens. Should I tell my ex what has already happened and that she is know contacting me again?
Side note, my baby daddy and I have a pretty great relationship as co-parents. We're not friends but I can for sure say that he's great to co-parent, I have nothing to complain about when it comes to him.

PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS IS IT. I know this is anonymous but I’m going to be truthful here… I cheated on my girlfriend a few months back and started getting these red dots that have become small little balls of flesh on my genitals and back. I don’t want to have to tell my girl friend just yet but I need to be sure to end this relationship. They are starting to get itchy and they have been replicating on my genitals. I have not reached out to the girl I slept with in January on this.

I don’t know what is happening to me. I’ve lost all sensation of my body, I can’t feel anything. I was driving and it feels like I’m floating, I don’t even feel bumps in the road. I drive places and it feels like I just appeared there, I don’t remember the drive or how I got there.
I go out into the sunshine and have no idea what time is it, I don’t feel like I’m “here” at all. Things are unrecognizable, and not visually - mentally. It’s like I’ve never been where I am before.
I have no thoughts in my mind at all, just music repeating over and over again. It’s like my thinking brain and inner monologue are gone, and the fear part of my brain is in complete control. The scariest part is, I don’t have any physical anxiety or panic at all, that’s how I can’t understand why this has gotten worse. I haven’t felt any sort of panic in probably a year. I feel so past the point of many people on here - I don’t see very many people saying they have no anxiety, or they can’t feel their body, they feel disoriented and unable to comprehend reality around them. I cannot focus, or get my mind on anything that requires concentration. My mind is blank.
Why is my nervous system doing this? I cannot find any triggers or anything that would make me feel MORE anxious. Nothing in my life has changed. DPDR is destroying my ability to function. Walking around feeling like you have no body, like life isn’t real, like you’re no connected to yourself or the world around you. I try so hard to just live, and I have been for many months, but I continue to feel worse - not better.
I haven’t had health insurance but once it’s active, I’m going to have every test done. This is not normal, my nervous system must be damaged in some way. If you can’t feel your body even when you touch yourself, or it feels like your legs aren’t even attached to anything, there’s something wrong. I don’t even feel myself breathing or my heartbeat. When I used to take deep breaths, I could feel my lungs expanding, now it feels like I can barely take a full deep breath.
The cognitive issues, the memory loss, the complete lack of energy or interest in anything, the lack of an inner self, not recognizing where I am, what time it is, what life even is. I 100% feel dead, I don’t understand how a doctor wouldn’t able to see this on an MRI or scan - I’ve lost all sensations in my body. Is DPDR just cutting off the physical sensations from being read by my brain?? Same with senses, I don’t smell, feel, taste, nothing. Those things still have to be there but my brain isn’t reading the input and connecting it with memories, which is why everything feels so foreign and awful.
I’ve been watching Robin Shindelka’s YouTube channel and she’s so wonderful, calm, collected. She had DPDR and she came out of it. But I don’t see her explaining my symptoms the way I experience them, she still had physical anxiety and feelings. I have none of that. How can you heal from anxiety when you can’t even feel it? You can’t accept or float through something you’re unable to feel. I don’t see anyone describe DPDR the way I do.
I’ve truly never been in such a worse place. Even at my worst DPDR, I could feel anxiety. It didn’t feel like it was happening to me, or my body - but it was there. Anyone living like this would be afraid. It’s not only taken my reality from me, it’s taken myself and my body from me too. I picture someone experiencing this as they are dying, as a way to cope with the pain. But I’m not dying, I’m not being eaten alive, I’m just doing basic things trying to survive. I don’t fight the way I don’t feel anything. I just sit in this hell every single day.
Robin mentions that DPDR happens when you can’t run from your emotions, yourself or your fears. There’s no actual bear, I’m the bear. My mind fears my own emotions, my own self, there’s no trust. I don’t even know where to begin to get my subconscious to not fear existence. To not fear my own emotions. Any little bit of feeling I have, my mind goes deeper into DPDR. This is all subconscious. My mind doesn’t trust itself - a real bind I’m in here. If you can’t trust you own mind, who are you?

• I remember in last season Colin saying the Featherintons had no male relatives, brothers or husbands to help them. And he keeps repeating it in this season. Why do Finch and Dankworth not count as male relatives for Penelope? Would they not become heads of the family? And maybe the husband of the eldest someone who Debling would ask about marrying Penelope, no?
  
• Another thing I noticed is how multiple times Penelope says in episode 4 that she asked Colin for help in finding a husband, and it bugs me a little each time like no, you did not. He offered, you accepted his insanity, ha. This was all his idea, why are you saying you asked him for this.
  
• This hasn't happened yet, and I'll have to see how it hits me when part 2 comes out, but now on rewatches I'm a little bummed with Violet assuring Francesca that she can make her own choice, and not go with the Queen's match. But in the spoilers for ep 5 & 6 she doesn't want to tell the Queen her match failed. Maybe it's just because she's not excited about Fran's choice? Why you telling her no pressure when you don't want to follow through with the change later, ma'am?
  

These were just some of the nitpicky thoughts I've been having. Overall I'm in absolute love with this season, my favorite so far. My romance cup runneth over, and I'm soaking in all the details people catch.
One of my favorite small moments in the carriage scene I haven't seen mentioned: When Colin slides to his knees and begins his confession speech, we cut to Pen's face and she lets out this little fortifying puff of air, like girding herself against this romantic onslaught. She let out a similar breath when she was looking at herself in the mirror before the last ball, girding herself to go through with it. Stay strong Pen <3

So I (23f) have had these bumps on my chest and stomach for about five days now. They are slightly raised but not itchy at all. I went to urgent care and she did not know what it was. I put the picture attached to this post but I’d appreciate any input!! Thank you!

I took the DAT on August 1st 2023, so it's been a while but just thought I would share my experience taking it.
Scores:
PAT: 19
QR: 22
RC: 17
BIO: 20
GC: 27
OC: 27
AA: 23
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Background: I took the DAT earlier than most people my age (the summer going into my junior year). I wanted to take it in the summer as opposed to during my junior year because I felt as though there really is not a better time to take it. At the end of my sophomore year I had just finished the courses that were on the DAT like bio, gen chem, and orgo so I thought I might as well take the exam while this information is fresh in my mind.
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How I studied: I bought DAT booster and started studying June 1st. At first I followed the study plan that DAT booster provides, but eventually took a detour and started studying by my own means. I was originally studying 4-5 hours a day, but then cut back to more like 2 hours a day.
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PAT: I was consistently scoring 19s on my practice PATs so when I got a 19 on the real thing I wasn't too surprised. The hardest part of the PAT in my opinion was key holes. Easiest was the sheet folding questions (sorry, I took the exam a while ago so am struggling to remember what each type of question is called lol). The secret to doing well on this section is doing practice problems. DAT booster is SOOO worth it for this section because it has a generator that gives you infinite amounts of practice PAT problems. Overall, I wish I could have gotten a 20 on this section, but I'll take a 19.
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QR: I was scoring 22-24 on my practical QR sections, so when I pulled a 22 on the real thing I was happy. This section was not my favorite as I have never been the best at math. I just did all of the practice exams DAT booster offered me and got the hang of this section.
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RC: This section pissed me off. The first passage I got was a nice short easy one and I breezed through it. I then got a really long hard second passage, but because I made it through the first one quickly I assumed I had extra time to spare, so I took this one slowly...until I realized I was behind and was getting to the third passage with minimal time remaining. I remember just guessing like half of the questions in the third passage tbh. I was scoring 26s on practice RC sections so this really upset me when I got a 17...it is what it is though.
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BIO: This section was a fever dream. How I managed to pull a 20 on this section is beyond me. I remember quitting so many times when studying for this section due to the sheer amount of information required. I tried breaking my studying up into different time frames when studying for this section, however it took time away from studying for other sections. I realized that I would have to lower the amount of time I was focusing on bio and accept that I just can't know everything. I will say that the nice thing about the bio section was that DAT booster gives you harder bio exams than the real exam. On the real one I saw some pretty simple questions. Most of the questions however I feel like I guessed on...I get very lucky here lol.
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GC: I have always loved chemistry and have been naturally good at it (especially organic chem). I was scoring 24-26 on practice GC sections so when I pulled a 27 I literally jumped out of my chair (the proctering lady gave me a nasty look lol). If you are studying with DAT booster, make sure to read all of the gen chem chapters they give you and do all of the problems and practice exams. They are all very useful.
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OC: To be honest I was expecting a 30 on this section. I remember finishing this section in like 20 mins or something with a lot of extra time and just breezing through every question. Easily my most favorite section. If I have any advice here it is to study hard when you actually take orgo in school. I literally did not have to study that much here because I remembered almost all of it from class (I had a fantastic orgo professor)
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Overall I am very pleased with my score and do not plan on retaking the exam. Use DAT booster, it is fantastic fr.
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Thanks for reading! Sorry if it seems unpolished, I kinda wrote this a little quick haha.
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I’m not sure what to do anymore about these disagreements I’ve been having with my best friend. I [25F] and my friend [24F] have been getting into disagreements lately due to differences of opinion, and to me, they haven’t been something that serious, or something out of my control. For context, we have been friends for 12+ years.
One example is that I tried to go visit her last summer (she lives a few states away from me), and things didn’t end up working out the way we had hoped. Also, she has a very strict schedule, where she can only have some holiday weekends off work. My job was very stingy about letting employees have time off, so I had to see if I could even get off for the dates that she wanted me to come. I had to wait a few weeks before I found out if they would let me have off. In addition to that, I have travel anxiety if I have to be in one of the biggest and busiest airports in the U.S. by myself. I had only flown once before this, and it was with my family, in small airports, so I wasn’t very familiar with what big airports were like or how to navigate them. I was afraid I would get lost and miss my flight and not know what to do, a long way from home. I am not good at thinking on the fly when I’m stressed out, so I expressed this to her. She said that it was easy, but I was still nervous. Meanwhile, I was waiting for my boss to confirm that I could take off, worried that I would be a few states away, still needing to get on another flight in a huge airport by myself, and missing it. The plane tickets kept getting more expensive over the next couple of weeks, and my friend got impatient with me for not booking the flights yet. Then she told me not to come, so I was pretty disappointed, but respected her wishes, because it was her house that I would be staying at. This came the morning after I found out that my time off was approved, and the tickets were a little steep, but I could still afford them. I was going to book the tickets that morning, but she was upset and told me not to, so I let it go. About a week or two later, she asked me again if I was coming. I said no, that she told me not to come, so I respected that and didn’t book the tickets. She got mad at me because she really wanted to see me, and said I was being selfish. I told her that now the tickets were more than I could afford ($1000 round trip), and that when my time off was approved, I wanted to come see her, but she told me not to come, so I thought she didn’t want me there. She said if I had just booked the tickets before then, they wouldn’t have been $1000, but I tried, and she didn’t want me to. She called me selfish, a bad friend, flaky, and said that she can’t count on me for anything, and kept telling me about other friends who came down to visit her (in a way that said “these people are my true friends”), but I wouldn’t. She minimized my travel anxiety that I mentioned to her, by saying she flies out of that airport all the time, and it wasn’t hard at all. I needed to think about someone other than myself and my anxiety. I was going to go through with it despite my anxiety because I was excited to see her, but it ended up not being able to happen. This is just one example, but there have been several the past couple of years.
In these disagreements that didn’t seem to be friendship ending ones, just differences of opinion about little things, things have been blown way out of proportion, and it feels like she is attacking my character. As I mentioned, she has called me flaky, selfish, a bad person and friend, she can never trust me to follow through (even though in 12+ years I have never bailed on her). She said that if I wanted my life to be ruined by anxiety and I never want to do anything worthwhile with my life, then go ahead. She has said I’m bitter, jealous of her, I don’t want her to be happy, I’ll never find a husband, I’m lazy, and I’m going to be left behind in life while she and other people succeed, and that I’d never get my license if I was like this (the last one was in response to me saying I had bad driving anxiety and I wanted to get my license, but it was really hard for me). Spoiler alert: I do have my license now. The list goes on.
Anyway, all that’s to say I’m exhausted by her continuing to put me down and saying I won’t succeed and that I’m a bad person, when we have a difference of opinion. It hurts me, and I’ve expressed that several times. I try to calmly push back and give her evidence to support that I’m not flaky and that I’ve been by her side through 12 years. She gets defensive and says “I’m sorry you feel that way”, and when I tell her it hurts me, and try to counteract the insults, she gets even more mad, and sometimes stone walls me for a few days. I really care about her, and we have had a lot of good memories and years spent together, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I somehow still don’t want to lose her. Advice?

conspiracy, thought this would be up your alley.
I am kind of shit at writing lyrics in 5 minutes but Suno AI is getting pretty good at covering that up and generated this in less and a minute. If they are going to take all of our jobs away and give them to AI then why shouldn't we have a little fun with it in the meantime?
https://youtu.be/WR7YNOfxQeY
Lyrics:
blackrock
can go suck a big toe
van guard
can spit lick this hoe
state street
knocks off bow wing
whistleblowers for show
world economic forum
unelected leaders and ceos
sour kraut youth klaus shwab
stop starving babies
do your job and suck some poles
club of rome
said in 2000 the world would end
thanks to climate change
you know who likes carbon the most
its plants
aint that strange
rockerfeller and soros
with mind games they played
are so old and mad because
they sat behind jesus in the third grade
they own the military industrial complex
and the revolving door
cia, fbi, doj, fda, epa
pharma ads are not for the consumer
they are for favorable coverage by the
news for boomers
they own
20 percent of left and right media
m s n b c, c n n, fox news
and some of wikipedia
6 to 20 percent
of 88 percent
of the S and P 500
you cant pay your rent
their blood green
and not blood red
they own
top advertisers,
marketing misers
top political donors,
pill popping boners,
they own the left,
and the crazies
they own the right,
and the crazies
divide and conquer,
the lazy
control

I think a lot of Severance is really explained by how episode 2 opens. I've noticed this before, but kept forgetting to dive into it. But last night I put on episode 2 to fall asleep to, heard it again, and decided to look into it today.
So iMark shows up for work at the beginning of Ep 2 on his first full day as MDR supervisor. He's looking at the list of his new duties, he's doing all the office prep stuff, and the whole time they're playing "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho" as the music.
I truly believe there are no mistakes in this show. Everything has a reason.
So as I'm falling asleep last night, all I'm hearing is the music, I'm singing along in my head and thinking about being in second grade and performing this song with my class for one of the pagents, and then thinking, once again, "why this song?"
Some background: the Battle of Jericho itself, is where they marched around the city once a day for six days, blowing their ram horns (goat reference), and on the 7th day they marched around seven times, blowing their horns until the walls crumbled and they took the city. All fine and well. But... then I started thinking, "ok, but of all the songs they could use as Mark is setting up the office, WHY that song?"
More background: Joshua was the right hand/second behind Moses. He was with Moses when God gave Moses the commandments, but not when Moses wrote them down. Then Joshua was one of the 12 spies Moses sent into Canaan to see if they could settle there, and they were all asked to keep a good tone to the reports. The job of the spies was to map the land, see what the other settlements were doing, figure out if they could be taken over, and report back on the general state of what they had (agriculture, forestry, other resources, etc). When the spies returned, 10 gave mixed or negative reports, with only Joshua and Caleb giving glowing one. Because of this, only Joshua and Caleb were promised spots in the Promised Land. After Moses died, God appointed Joshua as his successor. Joshua then started leading them into Canaan to find places to settle, and the first battle that happened was the Battle of Jericho.
So... what if Petey is our Moses, and Mark is our Joshua? And Because Mark would have been with Petey as they wandered around, they learned what the floor was like, but then Petey wrote and left the "commandments" (aka the Map) when Mark wasn't there.
So now Mark is in charge. And though Petey/Moses is alive on the outside, and giving oMark some direction before he dies (about spying!), iMark is now his full successor inside. He was appointed by the Board/Cobel (the "god" in Severance, who, by the way, iMark never heard the voice of). At this point in time, for the innies, Petey is as good as dead. And, as an aside, there ARE 12 spies, because once they decide to join with O&D, there are 12 of them! (4 in MDR + 8 total in O&D) I double checked in the scene and have a picture.
So, the questions...

1. What is the battle of Jericho?
   
2. The next is the first battle of Ai, which they lose. What is it?
   
3. The first battle of Ai is lost because one of them looted JerJericho for their own personal gain, which they weren't supposed to do, and beyraybetrayed the group. So who is the betrayer here? Who gets "paid off" by the company?
   
4. What will be the successful battle for Ai? (Season 2 or 3?)
   

I just think with all the religious stuff with Kier, Cobel, etc., and the song, "mapping the land" and the innies trying to figure out what's going on and them spying... it's too similar.
To answer some of the questions:

1. I believe the Battle of Jericho is the innies breaching the MDR locked wall that gets installed. By the time it's installed, Petey is truly dead, so both oMark and iMark are his successor in the Moses/Joshua parallel. It's only at this point the battle could happen.

The MDE takes place, and Helly picks defiant jazz. That can symbolize the horns being played around the city walls. IIRC, the way iMark is dancing is even like a little marching step move. After Milchick leaves, the innie gang leaves MDR with Graner's keycard. The walls of Jericho have, indeed, come tumbling down! They then go and make a tentative deal to join forces with O&D, creating the full 12 spies.

1. The battle at Ai, that they lose the first time, could be them waking up in the final episode and it being thwarted. It's not clear (yet) what/how much they accomplished. TBD
   
2. The reason the first battle at Ai is unsuccessful is because someone betrayed the group at Jericho by looting. So, if this analogy holds, did someone decide to take a payoff of some sort after the first overtime contingency test in episode 9? Maybe to stay out of the breakroom? I'm not pointing fingers, but Milchick was offering a lot of new incentives to Dylan, so I guess we'll have to see?
   
3. If the 1st battle of Ai was the OTC in ep 9, then the second would have to be some sort of repeat. But in Joshua's story, the second time he goes with a small contingency and confronts the leaders, I believe (who think it'll be easy to take them down). Meanwhile, the city is lost and 12,000 perish. So... are they going to wake again but have a much better plan this time???
   

Some additional thoughts:
• I can see iIrv, when he puts the egg in the Kier book, being one of the spies being fed up with "the word of God" and broken promises.
• When iMark takes Helly on her "mental health walk" she eventually agrees to help clean up the map. And when they're with the big O&D group, they talk about trying to find out what else is going on down there, exploring, and mapping. This was the job of the 12 spies that Moses sent into Canaan.
• Even if you think about Petey, he looks old. Like older than he should, given what we could guess his age is. And he's wandering alone, lost in his own desert (the greenhouses) for awhile.
Also, he loves the robe. After Mark takes him in, we basically only see Petey in that robe from that point forward. It just reminds me of how many different biblical stories we re-enacted in various school plays, and the boys were always in their dads' bathrobes when they played any biblical characters.
We don't know a lot about Petey's real backstory, but when he leaves Mark's house after Cobel breaks in, he goes into one of his fugue states where he can't tell the difference between reality and being on the severed floor. He's holding the map he drew, and thinks he's following that as he walks across the bridge and into town. As though he is wandering, again, in his own mind desert. And Moses wandered, alone, then died on a mountain while looking over the Promised Land. Petey, after wandering alone, walks out of the convenience store, sees Mark in the distance, and collapses. So does Mark represent, in some way, the idea of the promised land (uncovering what Lumen is really up to on the severed floor) to Petey?
(My whole point there is that Petey really does fit the idea of being the Moses in this dissection of the story, lol)
TL;DR: could Petey be Moses, Mark be Joshua, and the whole show ultimately be about trying to lead the innies and their outies to their promised land (aka the truth of what's really happening on the severed floor)?
Anyway... it seems to fit. And I can't think of another reason to choose that song, out of any song they could have picked, to play during that scene. It was the real transfer of power, when iMark truly became the new leader, taking over even the mundane tasks of leadership in this culture that signaled, to them, that iPetey was gone.
Sure, it could be a stretch. But I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts, especially anyone who might be able to dissect the biblical stories better! 😊

Hello, I am an artist trying to learn. For a few months now, I feel like I'm not progressing in art. I mean, from time to time, I learn one or another interesting thing, but for a while now I've felt bad because I don't have a clear direction on how to STUDY art: I don't know whether to do master studies, I don't know whether to take courses, I don't know whether to read books , I don't know if doing one method will make me fall behind on other methods. I don't know what the correct method is, or if there is a correct way. For quite some time now, I've been a little frustrated with drawing because I feel like I'm not progressing, or I feel like it could be better, which makes me eliminate all the progress I had in a drawing and start it from scratch, and so on... It's also very difficult for me to have ideas on what to draw other than copying images... What can I do?

Ive been dealing with (what im sure is) fungal acne for years. Ive tried several bacterial treatments and they have done nothing. I went on doxycycline and it made things worse. My skin is itchy as hell, red, bumpy and the bumps are tiny and clustered around my forehead. They don't come to a head. The skin is very sensitive to any form of cream. I've googled malassezia and it looks exactly like my skin. I've been using nizoral and fluconazole, and the bumps are reducing and my skin feels smoother, though its not fully cleared yet. My derm is still certain I have bacterial acne. I'm certain it's fungal. Is it likely fungal?

Dear my first love/ ex
I know we only dated briefly, but in that time we faced so much that time seemed like it passed faster than it actually did. When we first started out you helped push me to find a new job, because I couldn’t imagine working there alone. You even helped me quit by writing out my resignation letter even though I was gonna do it anyways since I had a new job lined up, but knowing that I wasn’t doing it alone or leaving you behind helped. I wish you could have been there to wish me good luck on my first day, but you got Covid and didn’t want to risk me getting sick before even starting.
I never wanted you to be anyone else, I loved the guy that I got to know before you ever made us official. The guy with several allergies to some of the weirdest most common things, but not allergic to common allergens. The guy with fears of heights, and bugs and scares easily. The guy that loves Disney movies and loves singing to them and cries at sad moments but would never let me see him cry. The guy that loves math, collecting Pokemon cards because they’re pretty, playing video games, D&D, anime, spending time with friends and family. The guy that was very judgemental when it came to certain things like how mint ice cream is wrong and anything with mint and chocolate together just shouldn’t be. The guy that seemed very uncertain about his future saying things like “I’m gonna take a job I hate so when I have money I can take a job I like that doesn’t pay much” “I want to buy a house here, because it would be such a flex to my friends” “ I would have quit school but everyone expected me to finish so I couldn’t quit.” Meanwhile you did know that when he bought a house that he wanted a cat and even knew the type of cat he wanted.
Now comes the tricky part that I hate because I don’t know how much you actually knew about me. Did you know I would have loved if you asked me to dance? That I would have loved a reason to get dressed up and show you a side of me no one has ever seen? You knew that you opened my heart and made me feel safe, but do you know what that has done to me? Do you know how your love has changed me? Did you know that since you were the first person to see me and love me that you helped me gain confidence I never had? Did you know that all I ever needed even when you physically couldn’t be there with me was you to say “I love you”. Just 3 little words to make me feel better, even on my worse days, just knowing that I have someone who chose me and chose to love me was a enough, but you couldn’t do that simple thing.
Instead you chose to create distance, trying to repair the damage after it was done instead of just saying “I love you and because I love you can we cool off and come back to the issue in the morning so we don’t say something we might regret?” No I got the response of “ I had a good day today and don’t need you bringing me down so I’m turning off my phone” the reason I was mad was because you blew me off and broke your promise the least you could have done was apologize instead of making me feel guilty and less than.
Do I hate you for that? Do I hate you for putting yourself first? Do I hate you for making me open my heart and be venerable to you? Do I hate you for shattering my heart into a million pieces? Do I hate that we loved each other and it seemed like you did all the talking but I was the one opening up more emotionally than you? Do I hate you for finding someone new so fast? Do I hate that you probably saw the northern lights with your new gf on my birthday, while I watched them alone after you said I would never be alone on my birthday again, along with the fact our first date we tried to see them only to get downgraded to cloud gazing and never watching them together like we wanted? No, for some reason I can’t hate you maybe that’s what true love is, because there will always be a part of me that loves you. Even with all your faults and flaws but it would be so much easier if I could just hate you. But I would be lying if I say that I’m not hurt and that I wouldn’t take you back in a heartbeat. I would have my reservations about it but as long as you would be willing to put the work in I would take you back because I’m not going to hate and judge you based on a few bad times when there were so many more good times. But we didn’t know how to deal with the bad times so we let that rip us apart.
~ your ex that you gave up on