Hello everyone and welcome to my post. In the following few paragraphs, you'll learn a few basics about myself as well as what I'm looking for in a partner. If any of it interests you, please don't hesitate to message me or start a chat. I look forward to hearing from all of you!
To begin with a little about myself, I'm 24M and currently living in NoVA for just over 1.5 years. Before that, I spent most of my life in Massachusetts but eventually ran out of new things to do there. Now, I work in AI research and spend most of my free time either playing board games or exploring nature. I also love to travel and see the world whenever possible. My trip last year was to Portugal (pictures available) which was such a beautiful country with such delicious food. I'm currently in Croatia for the next two weeks. Also, one cool and unique facts about me is that I have aphantasia which means I can't see images in my head. Oh and physically, I'm 5'8 with an average build and dark brown hair and eyes.
As for what I'm looking for, I really don't have many expectations in terms of appearance. By far the most important thing to me is that we are able to share each other's hobbies and enjoy time together. For example, I'd love someone I can take on hikes before ending off the day with a board game night at home. And, of course, I'd be interested in sharing and trying your hobbies as well. I also really value communication and people who can keep a conversation going in person and over text.
If you're still interested and made it this far, I've got a LIMITED TIME OFFER for you. In exchange for three unique facts about yourself, I will reply with three pet pictures. These pictures are guaranteed to be extra adorable and come with a 100% money-back guarantee if they don't make you smile.

Hello everyone and welcome to my post. In the following few paragraphs, you'll learn a few basics about myself as well as what I'm looking for in a partner. If any of it interests you, please don't hesitate to message me or start a chat. I look forward to hearing from all of you!
To begin with a little about myself, I'm 24M and currently living in NoVA for just over 1.5 years. Before that, I spent most of my life in Massachusetts but eventually ran out of new things to do there. Now, I work in AI research and spend most of my free time either playing board games or exploring nature. I also love to travel and see the world whenever possible. My trip last year was to Portugal (pictures available) which was such a beautiful country with such delicious food. I'm currently in Croatia for the next two weeks. Also, one cool and unique facts about me is that I have aphantasia which means I can't see images in my head. Oh and physically, I'm 5'8 with an average build and dark brown hair and eyes.
As for what I'm looking for, I really don't have many expectations in terms of appearance. By far the most important thing to me is that we are able to share each other's hobbies and enjoy time together. For example, I'd love someone I can take on hikes before ending off the day with a board game night at home. And, of course, I'd be interested in sharing and trying your hobbies as well. I also really value communication and people who can keep a conversation going in person and over text.
If you're still interested and made it this far, I've got a LIMITED TIME OFFER for you. In exchange for three unique facts about yourself, I will reply with three pet pictures. These pictures are guaranteed to be extra adorable and come with a 100% money-back guarantee if they don't make you smile.

Hey Redditors,
I’m diving into writing a research paper and thought I’d share some tips that have helped me along the way. Whether you’re a newbie or looking to refine your skills, these pointers can guide you through the process.

1. Choose a Clear, Focused Topic: Start with a broad area of interest, then narrow it down to a specific question or hypothesis. A well-defined topic helps you stay on track and makes your research more manageable.
2. Conduct Thorough Research: Use a variety of sources—books, academic journals, reputable websites. Take detailed notes and organize them by theme or argument. Don’t forget to keep track of your sources for citations!
3. Develop a Strong Thesis Statement: Your thesis is the backbone of your paper. It should be clear, concise, and reflect the main argument or finding of your research. Everything in your paper should support or relate to this statement.
4. Create an Outline: Organize your thoughts and structure your paper before you start writing. An outline helps you see the big picture and ensures a logical flow of ideas.
5. Write a Compelling Introduction: Grab your reader’s attention with a strong opening. Provide background information and clearly state your thesis. Your introduction should set the stage for the rest of the paper.
6. Craft Clear, Coherent Body Paragraphs: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Start with a topic sentence, provide evidence or examples, and explain how it relates to your argument. Use transitions to maintain flow.
7. Use Credible Sources: Back up your arguments with evidence from credible sources. Peer-reviewed journals, books by experts, and official statistics are generally reliable. Avoid questionable websites and outdated materials.
8. Analyze, Don’t Just Describe: Go beyond summarizing your sources. Critically analyze the information, compare different viewpoints, and explain the significance of your findings. Show how your research contributes to the field.
9. Write a Strong Conclusion: Summarize your main points and restate your thesis (in a new way). Discuss the implications of your findings and suggest areas for future research. Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression.
10. Revise and Edit: Don’t submit your first draft. Take time to revise for clarity, coherence, and consistency. Check for grammar, punctuation, and formatting errors. Consider getting feedback from peers or mentors.
11. Properly Cite Your Sources: Avoid plagiarism by correctly citing all sources. Follow the required citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.) consistently. Proper citations add credibility to your paper and acknowledge the work of other researchers.
12. Stay Organized and Manage Your Time: Break down the writing process into manageable steps and set deadlines for each. Use tools like reference managers (Zotero, Mendeley) to keep your sources organized. Staying on schedule reduces stress and improves the quality of your work.

Remember, writing a research paper is a process. Don’t rush it, and give yourself time to think, write, and revise. Good luck, and happy writing!

Hello all. Looking to offload a bunch of my manga. There’s both some OOP sets as well as some common series.
PLEASE NOTE…..
I AM NOT CURRENTLY LOOKING TO SPLIT SETS PLEASE DONT ASK FOR SPLITS.
ONLY US SHIPPING.
I AM OPEN TO OFFERS.
Full DISCLAIMER that I have not read any of these series. They have been bought either new or used and have been sitting on my bookcases this whole time. There is varying degrees of yellowing from series to series and volume to volume. Most have some degree of normal shelf wear. There may be ripped/marked pages or even missing pages (although I doubt it as most of the volumes as you’ll see in the pictures are in overall good to great condition).
They have been kept away from sunlight (blackout curtains on the bookcases) and my apartment is a non-smoking apartment.
All series have pictures of the series as a whole as well as what I can visually inspect and find anything on the outside of the volumes. PLEASE LOOK AT THE PICTURES TO SEE THE FULL CONDITION OF THE SERIES. If you need any clarification or more pictures of a series or a volume please let me know and I can get more pictures or clarify the extent of the damage if there is any.
All packages are shipped using Media Mail or whichever method is cheaper unless otherwise discussed for a different option. Any Package over $200 will have a signature required
I will ship these out as promptly as possible.
UPDATED TIMESTAMP https://imgur.com/a/6kmVDqF
MANGA FULL/PARTIAL SETS
GTO 14 Days in Shonan 1-9 $199: https://imgur.com/a/BDAxPLk
Tokyo ESP 1-8 $75.8: https://imgur.com/a/HLYaKIv
Jack the Ripper 1-5 $64: https://imgur.com/a/dAnXyNu
Doubt 1-2 (G3) $25.5: https://imgur.com/a/eCGFXh7
As Miss Beelzebub Likes 1-8 $77.3: https://imgur.com/a/d4SxSvF
Helvatica Standard Italic and Bold $25.5: https://imgur.com/a/0yVvc5a
Sickness Death 1-2: $22.5: https://imgur.com/a/DC5aY8C
Moteki 1-2: $31: https://imgur.com/a/owHeRFd
7th Garden 1-8: $55: https://imgur.com/a/vMDFKOS
Lament of the Lamb 1-5 $38.5: https://imgur.com/a/uJL4TWi
A Centaurs Life 1-16 $110.5: https://imgur.com/a/kEjlS3I
Not Lives 1-10 $54.8: https://imgur.com/a/9xHc3s3
Ultra man 1-3 $25.5: https://imgur.com/a/IxhKha3
Steins Gate 1-3 with volume 1 Loot Crate Ed: $73.9: https://imgur.com/a/ozbXByP
Cat Paradise 1-5 $48.8: https://imgur.com/a/C0NHRcS
Afterschool Charisma 1-12 $104.5: https://imgur.com/a/dqgSepT
Franken Fran Omnibus 1-4 $105: https://imgur.com/a/HUuzIyf
Croquis Pop 1-6 $59.3: https://imgur.com/a/9AAqQdd
Blue Dragon: Ral Grad 1-4 $40: https://imgur.com/a/OgXOTRi
Nora: The Last Chronicle 1-9 $65: https://imgur.com/a/z1gKt6K
Holy Corpse Rising 1-7 $68: https://imgur.com/a/0zMAmVL
Evergreen 1-4 $30.5: https://imgur.com/a/X4kHQJl
Tomodachi x Monster 1-3 $20.5: https://imgur.com/a/vgtS0OI
Clay Lord 1-3 $20.5: https://imgur.com/a/Iiglf8K
Die Wergelder 1-2 $30.5: https://imgur.com/a/j845ceF
Handa-Kun 1-7 $73: https://imgur.com/a/OzHnY01
Clockwork Planet manga 1-10 $99.9: https://imgur.com/a/RhTZ7UI
Himouto Umaru-Chan 1-10 $102: https://imgur.com/a/vxctepq
Immortal Hound 1-6 $57: https://imgur.com/a/mchdje7
Drifting Classroom singles 1-11 $235: https://imgur.com/a/ocIEFQj
To the Abandoned Sacred Beast 1-9 $68.4: https://imgur.com/a/drRKrM5
Zero Familiar Omnibus 1-3 $79.6: https://imgur.com/a/h8ZbSPk
Zero Familiar Chronicles 1-4 $30: https://imgur.com/a/VoJpHEY
Genshiken 1-9 $55: https://imgur.com/a/FYgcBNP
Nirvana 1-2 $14: https://imgur.com/a/iZM0Ykl
Arpeggio of Blue Steel 1-15 $210: https://imgur.com/a/jrZpjQa (ON HOLD)
Dragon Drive 1-14 $140: https://imgur.com/a/1vOAIAk
War World Blue 1-7 $39: https://imgur.com/a/S1EvMxf
Ancient Magus Bride 1-12 including special booklet $89.4: https://imgur.com/a/MZYOyrm
Grand Blue Dreaming 1-9 $81: https://imgur.com/a/ThkB6uR
Servamp 1-13 $143.3: https://imgur.com/a/eUmYvOr
Urusei Yatsura 1-7 $105: https://imgur.com/a/X1oFmkV
Devils and Realist 1-15 $192: https://imgur.com/a/HPygdtC
D-Frag 1-13 $195: https://imgur.com/a/LRu7jWN
Ajin Demi-Humans 1-14 $132: https://imgur.com/a/CWqqu76
Haganai 1-18 plus 50% more fails and Club Minutes $490: https://imgur.com/a/pe9miPe
Shield Hero Manga 1-4 $36: https://imgur.com/a/ngj3RO7
Delinquent Housewife 1-4 $38.4: https://imgur.com/a/JIX0eHj
H.P. Lovecraft At Mountains Madness 1-2 $28: https://imgur.com/a/otM8XMY
Kuma Miko 1-8 $72.6: https://imgur.com/a/gKwpXob
Yokai Rental Shop 1-4 $35: https://imgur.com/a/nV0ogZe
Ghost Diary 1-3 $26: https://imgur.com/a/LV4v7Hp
Didn’t I Say to Make My Abilities Average 1-3 $37: https://imgur.com/a/SGkl3be
Land of the Lustrous 1-9 $88.5: https://imgur.com/a/7XyfHzS
Emannon 1-3 $33: https://imgur.com/a/6Z1jkKp
LIGHT NOVELS FULL AND PARTIAL SETS
No Game No Life 1-10 97.3: https://imgur.com/a/6OIObXb
Goblin Slayer 1-9 $83.2: https://imgur.com/a/wLT1Yk6
Spice and Wolf LN 1-21 $231: https://imgur.com/a/h30MTQm
Wolf and Parchment 1-3 $33.5: https://imgur.com/a/6fhsX0P
Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash 1-13 $126.9: https://imgur.com/a/5ltzcKQ
Haruhi Suzumiya Hardcover Light Novel 1-11 $393: https://imgur.com/a/42QCvgn
Another Hardcover LN $21.7: https://imgur.com/a/UIiTYMu
Another Episode S/O HC LN $19.8: https://imgur.com/a/GX4YAg9
Pretty boy Detective Club LN 1-3 $31: https://imgur.com/a/xIE9M4p
Ancient Magus Bride Silver Yarn $9: https://imgur.com/a/DpBEsOB
Ancient Magus Bride Golden Yarn $9: https://imgur.com/a/Z56HdfE
SINGLE VOLUMES
The Mysterious Underground Men $95: https://imgur.com/a/xff7GkK
Haruhi Manga Anthology $16: https://imgur.com/a/B0xCET1
Another Omnibus Volume $20: https://imgur.com/a/GBOhHVF
Summer Wars $18: https://imgur.com/a/Fz3CWvq
Gantz (32,33, 35, 36 sold) 10, 12, (10 & 12 are ex library copies) 34 still available, SOLD INDIVIDUALLY NOT AS A SET. $45 for v34, 10 and 12 for $14 each: https://imgur.com/a/0ETgC1t
Dream Fossil $17.8: https://imgur.com/a/M4d07mD
She and Her Cat $10.5: https://imgur.com/a/ugTlUci
Venus in the Blind $19: https://imgur.com/a/hLuIyFJ
Scumbag Loser $16.5: https://imgur.com/a/FZuhHni
Ancient Magus Bride Supplement 1 $9: https://imgur.com/a/pqYAxti
Ancient Magus Bride Supplement 2 $9: https://imgur.com/a/aXYOknU
Ancient Magus Bride Merkmal Official Guide book $9: https://imgur.com/a/t26T7G3
Gigi Monster with slipcover $30: https://imgur.com/a/WpiNfNu
Maiden Railway $8: https://imgur.com/a/GzDKh4O
An Invitation from a Crab $10: https://imgur.com/a/t3UGJiE
A Girl on the Shore $11.5: https://imgur.com/a/EKbvRQY
PEZ $8: https://imgur.com/a/uUxTgZN
ARTBOOKS/ILLUSTRATIONS
Tokyo Ghoul are: Zakki $15: https://imgur.com/a/CoNXxX4
D.Gray Man Illustrations NOCHE $25: https://imgur.com/a/zot5KUc
The Art of My Neighbor Totoro $30: https://imgur.com/a/ECaDNkx
Otomo: $19: https://imgur.com/a/P5gPysl4

I’m not sure what to do. Me and my boyfriend are long distance and we’ve been doing good. But… if I show him some outfits I like or some pictures I wanna post on my socials.. he says it makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t want me to wear or post what I show him. And the things aren’t bad, like I was wearing a strapless dress to a wedding, he didn’t like it and said it made him uncomfortable because it’s strapless and he knows im gonna look nice. The pictures I wanted to post, some showed a little cleavage and he said has uncomfortable with those ones, so I said okay, what about the ones with just my face, and he said “ I don’t know… “ when I asked why he said bc he knows that other people are gonna see the pictures and he knows I’m pretty so he’s jealous.
I ordered a dress today and the back of the dress was open and he told me that he doesn’t think it would look good on me. So I canceled the order and then felt very poorly of myself.. he realized I felt self conscious now so he said he only said that bc the back was open and it made him uncomfortable but didn’t wanna make me angry.
I’ve talked to him about all of this and that we need to work on it and he said okay but I have to keep an open mind about how he feels.. idk.. I just feel like it’s a little much at this point..

“Don’t get off until you hit the ninth floor. No exceptions.”
“But my interview is on 5,” I replied.
“I’ll only say this only one more time. Don’t get off until you hit 9th. No other floor is safe.”
It’s crazy but something about the way he said it penetrated my skull. He was serious. And, he looked nervous, like he had to fight every instinct in his body to say that to me.
The doors closed, while I thought to myself - who the fuck says anything like that?
As I went to hit the button for the fifth floor, some anxiety came over me. I shook it off and pressed it. The guy was probably just off his rockers.
The elevator went up. I scanned my surroundings - a TV bolted to the top corner of the elevator (playing the weather channel), a mirror for the back-wall of the elevator, and some cozy lounge-style music playing. Pretty standard stuff.
“Now arriving at the 5th floor.”
Weird - not sure if I’d ever been in an elevator that announced each floor it was arriving at. I was sure that if I worked in this building, this would get pretty old quickly.
DING!
The doors opened on 5. In front of me was a reception area with a woman seated at the front desk. She stood up from her seat.
“Mr. Davis! You’re early!”
The gentleman’s warning from earlier played in my head.
“We’ll be ready for your interview in a few moments. In the meantime, please feel free to take a seat.”
“Uh, thank you,” I responded. “If I’m, uh, early, maybe I can come back in a few minutes?”
“Nonsense! We’ll see if we can speed things up. He’s been very excited to meet you.”
The elevator doors started closing. I held them open. I wasn’t sure what to do here, but everything seemed fine enough. Granted, the receptionist did seem a bit eager, but beyond that…
From my vantage point, I scanned the office space behind the front desk area. All looked normal - cubicles, folks clicking away at their computer, a kitchen area. Pretty unremarkable.
That is, except for the portrait off at the far end of the office floor. It was very large. I couldn’t tell what the picture was of, but I did see a group of employees staring at it… almost, admiring it?
“Your wife’s name is Meredith, right?”
I froze as the receptionist’s question shot a dart right through me. I didn’t remember the job application form ever asking for my wife’s name.
“You two are thinking of having children, right? If it’s a boy, you want to name him Sam?”
What. The. Fuck? Forget that she was right on the money, this was something I’d never spoken about before to anyone, including my wife.
Before I could answer, the office workers surrounding the large portrait started singing the Happy Birthday song loudly, in complete and perfect unison. Someone brought out a birthday cake and presented it to the portrait. A portrait that, after a bit of squinting, I realized was a very large version of my highschool yearbook photo.
I backed into the elevator, and pressed the “close door” button. I panicked as it took its sweet time to register.
Press. Press. Press. Come the fuck on.
After what felt like an eternity, the doors started closing. As they closed, I heard the receptionist -
“I’m so curious to know what your insides taste like, Michael.”
Fuck. Me.
Ninth floor. I needed to go to the ninth floor.
I found the 9th floor button and pressed it. It felt like it didn’t register my push, so I pressed the button again. And again. Come on, come on, come on, ninth fucking floor. I tried again and again, but nothing was happening.
Fuck it. I’ll go back to the ground floor, I thought to myself. Back to the start.
As I went to press the ‘G’ button, I realized it was missing. Just that one singular button gone. Fuck.
I was getting claustrophobic. I took in deep breaths to prevent myself from having a full blown episode.
The elevator started moving up again. A panel above the elevator doors lit up with the following number: 11.
Someone was calling the elevator?
I started talking to myself to self-soothe. “It’s okay, someone will call the 9th floor soon. That’s where I’ll get off.”
As the elevator approached its new destination, I noticed that the background lounge music in the elevator had changed. It was now an instrumental arrangement of “Happy Birthday”. Huh. Not sure why this thing thought it was my birthday.
I glanced at the weather report on the TV. At least it was going to be sunny all week! Silver linings.
“Now arriving at the 11th floor.” DING!
The doors opened, I hung around the inside corner of the elevator beside the buttons. No need to have another nightmare-ish experience, right?
An old woman stepped onto the elevator.
Great, I’m sure this will be easy to explain to her.
She smiled at me, as the doors closed.
With a lump in my throat, I asked – “What floor?”
“Ground floor please.”
“Uh, I’m sorry ma’am but that button is missing. Maybe we could wait until someone calls us to the 9th floor?”
“9th? No, I think I’ll just go to the 2nd floor instead, then.”
She went to press the button.
“Ma’am, I don’t think it’d be safe to–”
“I have plenty of friends on the 2nd floor. It’ll be okay.”
Aaaaaaand she pressed it. I didn’t feel comfortable cornering an elderly stranger in a seemingly haunted elevator. But I tried again to convince her –
“I know this sounds weird, but I have it under good authority that the 2nd floor probably isn’t safe. I’d strongly recommend not getting off until we reach 9.”
She smiled.
“Dear, it’ll be alright. You know, I like to take all opportunities that are given to me. It’s… a shame that you turned your opportunity down. I know the folks on 5 are very disappointed.”
I backed up into the corner of the elevator.
I saw the reflection of the old lady in the elevator’s back mirror. She looked ghastly. Otherworldly.
“Now arriving at the 2nd floor.”
The doors opened. She smiled at me again, and then exited.
I poked my head around the corner to look at the 2nd floor. It was damp. It looked old. More like a cave than an office. I heard a low rumble.
A man dressed in a fancy suit approached the elevator doors and held them open before they could close.
“You getting off here too, champ? I heard that 5 wanted you. I think we can give you a better offer.”
“I’m good.”
“You sure, bud? The salary is eight hundred thousand dollars every hour.”
“I’m good.”
“I’m kidding bud. The salary is we remove your eyes so you don’t have to see him.”
The floor went pitch black. The low rumble got much louder and started reverberating in my ears. Suddenly, the businessman grabbed me by the collar and tried to pull me out of the elevator.
I clung onto the ends of it. Fuck. Fuck!
I started kicking and headbutting him. I was able to make him let go of me momentarily, as I desperately pressed on the “close doors” button. Miraculously, the elevator responded much quicker this time and they closed immediately.
I tried the 9th floor button again. Didn’t work. I pressed 8 instead. Anything to get away from this hell-hole of a floor.
I heard a loud banging on the door as the elevator started taking off. Like an aggressive knock.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
As I saw the floor numbers rising -
3… 4… 5…
The banging continued. Just as loud. What the fuck?
6th floor… 7th floor…
The banging on the door didn’t subside.
“Now arriving at the 8th flo–”
I pressed the button for the 23rd floor. Just as we arrived on 8, I mashed the “close doors” button just as the elevator doors were about to open. The banging continued as the elevator doors started denting.
The elevator continued going up.
9…
10…
11…
The banging softened.
14…
15…
And softened.
19…
20…
21…
And disappeared.
“Now arriving at the 23rd floor.”
It was gone. Thank fucking god.
I exhaled. It felt like I’d narrowly avoided disaster.
The doors opened.
I scanned the new floor, and I realized… I was back on the ground floor. That’s what it looked like, anyways. Did I escape? Was I finally free?
A man stood not-too-far from the door. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t exactly place him.
“Hey man,” he spoke.
Was this the guy who got off the elevator just as I got on?
“...hey.”
“It’s over man. You got out,” he told me.
I felt a wave of relief wash over me… but I had to fight it.
“But you said the 9th floor was the only safe one, right?”
“That was a trick. You followed your gut and you were right. 23rd floor. The real safe floor. You can step out now, man.”
I didn’t leave.
“There’s someone here who really wants to see you.”
I couldn’t move.
“He wants to give you a job. He thinks you’re gonna be great.”
Why the fuck couldn’t I move?
“He’s in the other room. I’m gonna fetch him, okay? All you have to do is look at him. It’ll feel a bit weird at first, but then it’ll all be okay. It’s a permanent position. Great benefits. It is fully onsite, but, no better birthday present than a new job, right?”
I lowered my gaze to the floor. I forced myself to mutter the following words - “It’s not my fucking birthday.”
As he left to fetch… whoever he was meaning to fetch, he gave me the following response: “Relax, man. No cursing on the job. We’re a family here.”
It felt like I could only move a centimeter at a time. A true snail’s pace. I inched my finger closer and closer to the “close door” button.
I heard footsteps. He was coming back.
With every fiber of my being, I pushed through. I hit the button.
The doors closed, and I collapsed to the floor… free from whatever weird force was stopping me from moving.
“I’ll let you two talk more on the elevator,” I heard him say from outside the doors.
What?
Instinctively, I looked around.
To my surprise, there was nothing. The elevator was the same as it had always been.
A lengthy exhale. I was done with all of this. At this point, I would’ve taken death over continuing this bullshit any longer.
As I pondered my next move in this hopeless situation, I noticed something strange. The button to the 9th floor was lit up. An ominous, crimson-red color.
Before I could do anything else, my phone started ringing. I checked the call.
It was my wife.
I answered.
“Babe. Fuck, I don’t know why I didn’t even think to call you - I’m trapped in an elevator and fucked up shit is happening and maybe I should call the cops? Fuck I–”
“Hun. Don’t go to the ninth floor.”
“What? W-wait, how do you even–”
“It’s a trick, honey. You have to trust me. The man from before was lying to you. It’s not safe.”
“None of this has been safe! How do you even know everything that’s happening?!”
“You just need to trust me, hun.”
I paused.
“So what do you want me to do then?”
A demon on the other side of the phone answered this time.
“GO TO YOUR INTERVIEW.”
I hung up the call and in a panic, I mashed on the 9th floor button. The elevator started rising again.
Even with me hanging up the call, the muffled sound of the demonic voice coming from my phone continued.
“GO TO YOUR INTERVIEW.
GO TO YOUR INTERVIEW.
GO TO YOUR INTERVIEW.”
I pulled out my phone and flung it to the ground as hard as I could. I stomped on it angrily. The warped sound of “GO TO YOUR INTERVIEW” slowly started dying out.
But suddenly, the elevator started shaking. It was continuing to go up… but it was faster than usual. Really, really fucking fast all of a sudden. Almost like the 9th floor was now way below me.
It felt like an amusement park ride with no breaks on it. Loose. Dangerous. Flinging up at an insane speed, almost as if it was falling upwards.
“But I pressed nine?!” I screamed to myself, exasperated.
It didn’t matter.
“Now arriving at the 41st floor.”
God, what the fuck?
I was brought to my knees by the speed of the elevator traveling faster and faster.
“Now arriving at the 90th floor.”
The buttons didn’t even go past 52.
“Now arriving at the 141st floor.”
Fuck.
“Now arriving at the 230th floor.”
“Now arriving at the 401st floor.”
I felt like I was inside a bullet. The pleasant voice of the elevator lady was getting deeper and deeper as we rose.
“Now arriving at the 840th floor.”
The voice started croaking. A demonic sound this time –
“Now arriving at SOMEWHERE NICE.”
A sudden halt. The elevator stopped. The doors didn’t open though. The panel above the elevator doors had no indication on what floor we were on.
As I sat, I heard what could be best described as the sounds of hell coming from outside the elevator. Low grunts of pain. Crackling. A dark hymn.
Was this where I was supposed to get off?
Before I could ponder the question further, I heard a soft tapping on the elevator. A voice from outside –
“Do you want to trade?” said the voice.
I decided to bite, for reasons I still don’t fully understand.
“What do you mean?”
“What if you stay on this floor forever, and I get to go home?”
“Uhm. I, uh, think I’m good…”
“But I really want to go home.”
It almost sounded like the voice of a kid. Fucking hell.
“I-I’m sorry, kid,” I mustered back.
“It’s okay.”
An awkward silence between us.
“He told me that he wants to wish you a Happy Birthday,” said the kid.
“I, uh… think he’s got it wrong. Today isn’t my birthday.”
“It is,” he responded. “It’s the first day of your new life. Your birthday.”
…?
“He wants you to look at the TV.”
What?
I looked at the TV in the top corner of the elevator, hoping to see the one constant I’d had during this whole cursed trip - the weather.
Instead, the TV was now showcasing what looked to be CCTV footage. Grainy footage from a camera… of the exact elevator I was in. A live feed of this exact moment.
Except, the TV showed me lying down. Looking up with a wide smile on my face.
And something above me on the ceiling. Looking straight down at me.
Him.
The lights in the elevator went off. The elevator plummeted downwards, as I closed my eyes and screamed for dear fucking life.
I waited for the impact.
For what I knew was my demise.
Here it comes.
Here it fucking comes.
I’m not ready.
I’m not ready at all.
“Now arriving at the 9th floor.”
DING!
The doors opened.
Wait, what?
9th floor?
I peeked out from the elevator.
Another reception desk.
Wait, is this really the -
I was interrupted by a voice from the outside.
“You coming out or what you fucking moron?”
I got to my feet. The feeling of distrust… anxiety, whatever you’d call it. My fear intuition. It was gone.
I felt light.
Fuck it.
I stepped onto the floor and approached the counter.
The receptionist handed me what looked like a button for the elevator.
“For the ground floor,” she said. “Single use only.”
I took it and headed towards the elevator.
Then, I turned back to face her.
“Can I maybe take the stairs?”
She shook her head.
“If you didn’t like the elevator, then you’re really not gonna like the stairs.”
Fair enough.
I got into the elevator.
I said a silent prayer to myself as I put the button where it belonged.
It fit without any issue.
I pressed it, and the elevator went down. It was a smooth ride.
“Now arriving at the ground floor.”
DING!
As I got ready to exit, I realized that the ground floor button was missing once again. Strange. I didn’t linger on it.
I marched out, ready to get the fuck out of this building.
I noticed a woman running onto the elevator. I tried to stop her, but something in my body wouldn’t let me.
The most I could muster was putting my hand on the door to relay a message to her before the doors closed.
“Don’t get off until you reach the 9th floor. No matter what.”
The woman just smiled at me.
“Happy Birthday Michael.”

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Hi, everyone.
My therapist recently told me that I should begin journaling daily, but sometimes I struggle to really get into it. However, I feel that if I try to be more creative with it—like putting in pictures and stickers—will help me be more drawn towards making it a habit.
Do any of you have some tips from scrapbooking and the like to make your journals/notebooks more interesting and captivating?

I’ve been catfishing for years. I’ve never done it for financial gain. I do it for the friendships and I enjoy the reaction and attention I get. I don’t just use another person’s pictures I create a whole fake persona and life.
My recent catfish was in a group of woman, we all met through a fb page of an influencer we all watch. We made a group chat and have all bonded over that the last few weeks, sharing our personal lives and families and of course what I shared is all made up. I even said I was a mom. They got suspicious of me and confronted me and I lied but I could tell they all knew, our very active group chat was quiet. They’d made a new gc without me in. I hated the thought of them talking behind my back, making assumptions so I confessed I was a big catfish and everything, even all the deep things I said was going through was a lie. Of course even though they sort of knew they were all angry and hurt. They are worried because they shared personal info in that gc. I reassured them I wouldn’t share anything from that group but of course they don’t trust me. They said they will go to the police because they shared photos of their children in that group. Can I actually get in trouble for this? Okay I shared stolen photos but never did anything fraudulent.

A friend of mine (29M, no medical history of note) moved here to the UK from Eastern Europe two months ago. I met him yesterday and I saw he was scratching himself all over. I asked him what was wrong and he explained he has experienced the following symptoms:
-2 weeks after he arrived, he started to get itchy all over his body, mainly arms, legs, shoulders, ankles, wrists, hands.
-The itchiness comes from minuscule blisters (2-3mm or less) that appear all around over his body. They are extremely itchy and are fluid-filled.
-He scratches them, the fluid comes out, and the small blister then scabs over.
-The blisters are often in clusters of 2 or 3, distinct but very close together.
He tried to take antihistamines but they didn’t help much. He suspects it might be either the new detergent he washes clothes with or the water of the hotel he stays in. I also mentioned possibly insect bites from the bed? Or else dishydrosis (but it usually only affects the palm of the hand or sides of fingers or sole of feet).
I had dishydrosis myself and the blisters looked very similar, though obviously in different parts of the body, which makes me doubt it is that.
What could it be? Any suggestions? I want to try to help him. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures. Thank you.

MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES, DEAR VIEWERS.
THIS INCIDENT ENDED ABRUPTLY A LITTLE *TOO* EARLY, THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN REPAIRED NOW.
I WILL PLAY THE LAST PART WHERE IT CUT OFF.
ENJOY!
...
THIS MOTHERFLUFFER, I SWEAR...
"That was the third violent weird guy I have killed today.. This day keeps getting better and more thrilling by the minute!"
Grabbing his phone and turning it on, The Badass Sheriff starts to scroll through random pictures that his best friend, Louie, sent him. All of them are normal and wholesome, which is nice. Clyde giggles happily while he looks at them. Then, he begins texting him, asking if there's anything exciting going on where he's at, his friend tells him no, nothing yet.. but the street vendors are giving their food away for free right now! 'Ah, neat..!', Clyde thinks, smiling cheerily. Before he gets to ask him to grab a hot dog for him, he hears a terrified player outside, screaming for help, they also sound like they're crying. The Badass Sheriff grins, it's time for more action! Not wanting to forget his shotgun again, he picks it up and then runs out of his office. He spots a violent weird guy chasing down a teenage boy in a distant, but not that far away. The poor kid trips and falls to the ground, then fearfully begs him not to kill him as he pulls his sign out. So, what does Clyde do? He takes a slightly big rock near him and then tosses it at the violent weird guy. It hits him right on the head, to which he immediately turns his head to look at The Badass Sheriff, growling angrily.
"HEY, GLITCH-FACED DITCH! Let's play..!"
Now that he's focused on Clyde instead of the horrified teen, the violent weird guy charges towards him, letting out a heavily distorted screech. The colorful badass adult waits and waits... and then instantly whacks him hard across the face with his shotgun, causing him to fall down to the ground. The violent weird guy attempts to get back up, but Clyde kicks him in the face and does the same to his right hand, making his sign fly off a few feet away. With a triumphant grin, The Badass Sheriff puts his left leg on his chest, keeping the violent weird guy down. Cocking his shotgun, he aims at his face.
"Say cheese, baby."
*BANG!*
The weird guy has been killed. The teary-eyed teenager approaches Clyde, and thanks him profusely for saving his life. Chuckling joyfully, he reassures the boy that no one would harm or kill anyone when he's around, then asks him if he wants to go to his office and chat with him. The teen's eyes light up. He says yes! Going back to the building, they start talking about things. Apparently, the boy accidentally bumped into the weird guy and thought he apologized to him, but realized he didn't, actually. The Badass Sheriff nods a little, thinking, 'Sadly, an extremely common mistake..'. A few more minutes of them simply chatting, the teen tells him that his friends are in the supermarket, waiting for him. Kind of awkwardly, he asks Clyde if he can take him there, he would love to! The boy thanks him again and they leave the office. Four minutes pass, they reach the supermarket, the teen gets out of the car, waving good-bye to The Badass Sheriff. He does the same, then drives off back to his office.
It's getting dark now, seems like a perfect time to go shopping! Clyde and Louie are heading to the largest mall in the game, StarDawn Mall. It was his friend's idea, so why not? After parking the car, the two sheriffs exit the vehicle and enter the massive building. As they walk around and talk, some players spot and greet them happily. A few approach The Badass Sheriff, asking for his autograph on their notebooks, completely ignoring Louie. The Cowardly Sheriff is sad... the poor guy. Clyde notices and comforts him, telling him that eventually, they will respect him too. But when? Who knows. Clyde then informs the players that he's not gonna do anything for them yet, as he's on a short break with his best pal at the moment. They understand and move aside for them to continue strolling. Going up to the second floor, some MORE players greet them cheerily. A little happy, Louie asks his friend if they can go and buy bracelets for the both of them, Clyde says of course, let's go there! The Cowardly Sheriff is excited!! Walking through a couple of hallways, they enter a shop. As he looks around, Louie finds a pair of matching star-shaped bracelets, he picks them up and goes to the counter, he then purchases them. He gives one of them to Clyde, who wears it on his right wrist. Louie also wears the other one, on his left wrist. The cashier joyfully thanks them for shopping as they leave the store.
They proceed to stroll through the floor, talking about stuff and sharing stories. ... Then, The Cowardly Sheriff notices something behind them, and pats Clyde on the shoulder twice, sweating nervously.
"Umm, Clyde..? There's a weird guy next to the glasses store, he's carrying a teenager. The kid looks distressed..!!"
Stopping in his tracks, The Badass Sheriff turns around to look at the weird guy, who notices him. The teen boy is struggling to set himself free. Clyde's smile turns to a frown.
"Put him down."
The weird guy doesn't do anything, he's starting to sweat.
"Put the kid down."
Still nothing. There's a broken bench leg lying next to Clyde's left leg, so he grabs it.
"I'm not asking again. Do it.. now."
The weird guy finally lets go of the teenager, his arms slightly raised, sweating profusely. The boy flees and runs to another hallway, thanking The Badass Sheriff in fear. Clyde smiles once more, and drops the bench leg. He nods once at the mute grey adult, who then walks away, trembling. Him and Louie continue to walk around the mall. Nothing much is happening right now, everything is just fine! A few hours later, they leave the building and enter Clyde's car. It's time to go back now...
They had tons of fun... and their break is over.
It's time to protect and save more players!
...
THERE IT IS, THE PROPER ENDING TO THIS INCIDENT!
EVEN THOUGH I DESPISE ONE OF THE SHERIFFS, THIS STORY WAS QUITE ENTERTAINING AND INTRIGUING, AND IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
ONCE AGAIN, MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES FOR WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER.
SEE YOU SOON, SWEETIES!~
HEHEHEHEHEHEH...
​

I’ve had a rollercoaster ride with the only girl I’ve dated. After 7 years of dating she broke up with me cause “she’s not into girls” As you can imagine, it completely tore me as I always checked in with her and her feelings but she never mentioned this to me over the years…
It’s so hard for me to trust other women as I’m super scared of something similar or worse happening again.
I’m such a golden retriever and it’s crazy to say this but I lived for her! I’m that type of person who finds joy in making my other half happy :)
Forward to now and I just want to say that, I took the time to heal and I’m finally over that crazy part of my life.
so…. if there’s genuinely any honest and pretty cool femmes out there (I’m a chapstick masc) who would be interested in talking and seeing where things go, I’d be so down for that! I don’t care where you are located lol 😂 I will fly to you if I have to! I moved to Europe when I turned 18, I’m 26 now. USA and Canadian women always interested me cause I foresee myself studying further around there and settling down around one of those countries 😊
Ugh I hate dating… I just want to settle down already. I’ve never dated besides once cause I’m so freaking loyal to the first girl I see it’s so weird.😅😂
Anyways some stuff about me:

• 26
• 5’7
• Studying currently in the medical field
• Golden retriever who will always support the things you support, believe in what you believe in and always be there for you whenever you need me.
• Absolutely can’t wait to share more about me as I learn about you too!

🥹❤️Thank you for reading this!
lol this is so weird cause I’ve never done this before … 😂

• You can find a picture of me on my profile btw!

First of all, this is going to be a long post. apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors. It's very late at night and I just needed to get this off my chest. Also, I'm doing this on my phone, so...
My friend, whom I've been very close to for about a year and four months, has removed me from his life for the time being and claims I am a horrible person and a narcissist. This started during a small event about a year ago when we were playing Call of Duty with a particular friend. One of my other friends, whom they are not familiar with, started razzing on them, teasing, and making fun of them a little for not being very good at the game because they were brand new. (I know the fact that they didn't know each other had a lot to do with how he viewed this interaction.) I realized it affected him badly, and I apologized profusely.
I acknowledge that talking shit to your friends on Call of Duty is pretty par for the course for me, so I didn't recognize the problem immediately. Teasing and shit-talking your friends on Call of Duty is very normal for me, but for them, it really struck a chord. They thought they were being bullied and targeted directly for some reason, but they didn't exactly tell me why. At the time of the interaction, I didn't take it seriously because I knew the person and knew he wasn't doing it maliciously. He had also been drinking, which made him a bit more rowdy. Explaining that it wasn't malicious wasn't good enough during the confrontation later on. Apologies weren't good enough either. I didn't know what they wanted me to do other than go back in time and address it at that moment. I wish I could have.
The friend who did this was someone I usually only hung out with during Call of Duty. But afterward, I got closer to him over the months that followed. My friend who was hurt didn't tell me about his feelings until much later. I learned later that he was getting offended that I was getting closer to this person as well. When he eventually told me about it, I brushed it off, saying that that's how people act on Call of Duty. No, I'm not condoning the terrible things people say in Call of Duty, but my friend is not like that. I know some of you might be thinking about Call of Duty and the worst of the worst things said there, but it definitely wasn't that.
I didn't take it seriously at the time, and we got into an argument. He still never fully explained what exactly I did wrong, just that I didn't defend him or that I brushed off his feelings. He thinks my friend is a brash drunk person and basically just a bad person. He told me all of my Call of Duty friends are garbage. I admitted that my friend was struggling with alcoholism but has been taking huge steps to improve his life. He's still improving every day. But he still talks shit on Call of Duty, and I talk shit to him too. For us, talking shit to your friends is kind of how you express your friendship. It probably sounds crazy, but my hurt friend still felt extremely bad about it and threatened to cut off our friendship if I didn't apologize correctly or cut off my Call of Duty friend. We eventually worked through this argument.
This brings me to another argument we had later on. For the past few months, my friend has been extremely depressed. He's going to therapy again, but every time we talk, he talks about how depressed he is, how his dating life is terrible, how everyone in his past has treated him awfully, his dating prospects are horrible, and nobody likes him. He's depressed because he might have to move and he's currently out of a job. I feel for this man terribly. I love him and wish I could help him with everything he needs. But it's like he's flipped a switch in the last few months and suddenly hates me. He has called me a narcissist or said that I have narcissistic traits, or that I'm just terrible. He says I have some sort of mental disorder. He constantly tells people I need to work on myself and that if I can't acknowledge my problems, I must be damaged. To be fair, everyone has problems they need to work on.
He also told people that I trick people into liking me and told my boyfriend that I manipulated him into being with me. Every single conversation he's had with people about me has been either awfully negative or bizarrely positive about how I'm such a wonderful person. It's honestly starting to get god-awfully annoying.
I had stopped hanging out with him one-on-one because every time we talked, it was so depressing or overly positive about how happy he was about my relationship with his best friend growing. It was honestly very strange. I used to confide in him about my relationship with his best friend, but I do not do that anymore. It would always devolve into the depressing things I mentioned above and how everyone in his past has treated him terribly. So I would only hang out with him in social settings because he wouldn't share like that when there were other people around. That’s a stark contrast from the many hours we used to spend speaking one-on-one, playing games, and just chatting and watching videos for hours on end. We were very close.
I’m aware that only spending time with him in a group setting was a messed-up thing to do. I should have talked to him about my feelings, but I was honestly scared that he would get mad at me because of how he had reacted in the past and how reactive he had been to everything anyone had said to him recently. He has been overthinking every single thing that I say. He takes everything I say out of context and misunderstands every single thing I say to him.
One day, I burned my hand badly and couldn’t play anything, so I ended up just watching a show with my boyfriend. My friend messaged me and asked if I wanted to play games with him. I told him about my hand and that I wasn't going to be playing any games. I had made plans to play games later that night with another friend, but I told him those plans were canceled. He accused me of trying to ostracize him. I told him that if I felt up for it, I would invite him if my hand felt better and I could play games later that night. He lives on the East Coast, and I live on the West Coast, so if I play later at night, he might be sleeping, but I told him if he was awake, I would invite him. I ended up not being able to. My hand was very badly burnt, and I had an ice pack on it all night. And he never said it directly. But the way he was like, if you don't want me to hang out you can just tell me. Was very telling that he didn't believe me and he thought I was just excluding him. I ended up taking a picture of what I was doing and sent it to him, which he said was ridiculous and unnecessary of me to do, but it was the only thing I could do to make him stop. It’s like he’s looking for bad things to think and say about me.
He even snapped on a very long-term friend, calling him a terrible name. It was incredibly cruel and extremely out of character. I know he’s going through serious mental issues and depression, and he has recently started going to therapy again. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s just hard at this point. I have apologized dozens of times, but he constantly says that I don’t apologize correctly or that I’m not apologizing the right way. I don’t know what that means. I’m so apologetic, and I know I have a terrible way of expressing myself and saying the right words. He knows that. He deleted me on all platforms except for a couple. He said he left those avenues of contact open as a way for us to try and work through this. We called each other a few days ago and had a pretty good conversation. I think this is going to end positively. I think our relationship and friendship are going in a positive direction at this point. But I’m just feeling crazy about all of this and wondering if maybe I am crazy. I’m an overthinker and I overthink everything. And now that I can’t stop thinking about this, maybe I am a narcissist. Maybe I am a horrible person. I kind of just wanted some outside perspective on it. If you have any questions or need me to explain anything further, please ask. I’ll be more than happy to answer.
I know I should have defended him properly and I did not communicate well enough. I know I should have expressed my feelings to him and tried to work through them properly. I’m a very bad communicator and tend to over-explain because I hate being misunderstood. I know that can get on people’s nerves, and they can see me trying to explain my point as just making excuses or justifying my actions when I’m just trying to make sure I’m understood so they know exactly why I did something and understand my point of view. I do this even when I have acknowledged that I’m wrong. I just want to be understood. That is something I’m actively working on. It’s a terrible quality, I know. But if this doesn't get better, what should I do?

Sorry guys, this is going to be a long one. I've been considering homeschooling my children for quite a while. I have a few reasons why the thought continually crosses my mind.
The first is the education aspect. From Kindergarten to now, my oldest seems to struggle in class. More socialization and less concentration. I will say that did tone down quite a bit during this past school year. But beyond that, each progress report sent home says that she is behind in this area or that. They don't assign homework, so I rarely know there is an issue until the reports come home. Despite my asking several times, I never receive anything that shows what they are working on, so I use the report to see the struggle areas and sit one on one with her, and she does wonderful! I know all parents feel that way about their children and boast, but she really seems to do well. I have no problem getting her to focus and learn. I've also noticed that some of the areas they claim she's struggling in, she's not as behind as the reports say. There's been several times where I've found she knows the material quite well and when I bring it up with the teacher, I'm brushed off and told that the testing system they use is never wrong. Even when I've showed the extra work she has done at home that shows she knows the material, I get "well you probably gave away the answers without realizing it".
The second is the bullying. She was bullied half the year this year by a kid in her class twice her size. Nothing was ever done about it until the day he went too far and she stomped him. Not figuratively either. Principal said after he kicked her, she literally only used her feet to get this boy to the ground and proceeded to kick him until the teacher pulled her away. Until that incident, she would come home in tears saying she was told she was ugly and stupid. She would beg me not to make her go to school. She used to be so self-confident and now it's gone. He stopped bothering her after that incident, but she still says that she feels that she's ugly and stupid despite us telling her that is not true.
The third reason is an incident that took place near Christmas time. We are not a Christian household. We follow a different faith. But one day both children came home and started saying we were celebrating winter holidays wrong. I asked my oldest what she meant, and she told me that they had watched a video in class and learned that we are supposed to only celebrate the birth of Jesus. She said it was in music class and that they were also learning songs for the winter concert and when I asked what songs, they both started to sing church hymns. That night my husband and I explained that there are different religions in the world and that Christianity is only one of them. The next day I brought my concerns up with this particular teacher and I didn't like that her response was "Oh we learned a Jewish song too so it's not all Christian based." I have no problem with my kids learning about other religions. The way I see it, the more they learn about other religions and cultures, the more understanding they'll be as adults and not judgmental just because it's not theirs. But this is a public school. Unless they're learning about all other religions and cultures, I don't see the need for anything religious based to be brought up at all.
With all this I thought I might give homeschool a sort of trial run over summer break. I figured that if it went well, I would homeschool starting next year. My husband is on the same page as me, but when I've mentioned this to other people/family though, they all tell me I'm making a mistake and I'm being selfish/overreacting. I've been told that I would be robbing my kids of special moments/memories like school dances, picture days, end of the year award ceremonies, and graduation. I've also been told that I'm setting them up failure because homeschooled kids don't get real diplomas and I'm ruining any chances they have of getting into a good college or a good career later in life. I've been told that their after-school activities won't be enough socialization and they'll be socially stunted as adults. So many people have said these things to me that it makes me question if I'm doing the right thing. So, I came here for advice. Do I follow my instincts, and continue on with my plan or am I really overreacting as everyone says?

So ik it’s a heavy topic that a lot of people have strong feelings for on both ends, and this is a long one, I apologize in advance. So I’m 22, F, and my new bf is 25, M.
I have a lot of insecurities about myself and I fully admit that. I also have borderline personality disorder, which adds to the insecurities within a relationship. With that being said, I have been in intensive therapy for years and my bpd isn’t necessarily an issue. I’ve had issues with my weight, and finally just dropped 30 lbs.
My new bf is very sweet, I adore him, and I am fairly happy with him. But. There’s one red flag I can’t get passed no matter how hard I try.
I think he’s a sex addict. We talked about sex before we started dating and I told him due to trauma, I sometimes go through phases where I don’t want to be touched sexually. His response “Don’t get upset if you find porn on my phone.” Not the best response, but hey as long as I don’t see it, it can’t hurt me, right? Wrong. We’ve been sexually active very frequently, but as time goes on it’s definitely changed. Going from multiple times a day, to him going off the first try after 10 minutes. But he’s always making sexual comments at me, always hinting for sex, grabbing me sexually. It was off putting but not horrible till the other day. We showered together, I had a mental health moment regarding sex and I told him I sometimes feel like I’m being used for my body, to where I legitimately bawled my eyes out, which I never do in front of people. Fast forward I get up to get dressed and do my thing, he has the door shut, and I realized I forgot my socks. Go to open the door for them and I look down to look at him and see his phone, porn. Straight porn.
I felt sick, not even minutes after I bawled about my sexual trauma and how I’m feeling used, do I open the door to see a girl giving head on his phone.
He claimed it was from the other day and he accidentally left it open, but he’s always on his google so I originally didn’t believe him, now I kinda just brushed it off as a possible tab that was opened.
Fast forward again, I felt sick all day at work yesterday, and had a bad day at work. He picked me up, and got me kinda annoyed with some jokes (non sexual) that he was making towards me so I kept to myself for a bit and laid down to calm my stomach. I knew he was outside in the garage fixing up his car so I got up, walked outside; and was going to tell him I was starting to feel a bit better and wanted to just sit with him. I walk inside and he turns around, belt buckle undone, pants undone, and very visibly aroused. He claimed he went pee and never buckled it back up.
I went to go throw up inside. I was more hurt than anything. He doesn’t ever ask for pictures or videos of me, other than 2 he took before we even started dating. We can’t even have one full session anymore because he goes limp right away and claims it’s because he’s sweating.
I’ve had this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach since, and it’s making the nausea 10x worse. I close my eyes and I see him watching those videos and I don’t know why it makes me feel so awful. I have a very specific build. I’m shortish (5’5) but have very small breasts and upper body, but a larger lower body.
When im in love with someone, I can’t find other people attractive, and I’m even bisexual. The idea of porn grosses me out. My thought process is that you have a partner, why do you have to look at someone else’s videos sexually when you can easily get your partners. But that could also be the fact I have bpd as well. Lastly, as of right now, the reason I’m writing this is because he’s in the shower for work, and he thinks I’m asleep. I hear a women’s voice from inside the bathroom (his phone obv) and the more I try to understand it the more it sounds like moaning. I’m trying not to throw up or cry. I don’t understand why it bothers me so much but it does. I don’t want to seem controlling but it’s absolutely steering me away from him, to the point where when we do have sex, if he closes his eyes I immediately dry up because i just get this thought of him imagining other women.
Am I the AH for being upset over this?