a week ago I woke up happy in my bed with my girlfriend of over a year by my side. My job was great, i got my own place at a young age, im doing good.
Next morning i wake up to two tornados that converged to form a super tornado right on my street. No government alert was sent till it was happening, so the city was caught off guard.
My car was totaled. I was left with no power, water, or internet. My area was inaccessible for several days due to severe damage. I bar hopped to charge my electronics, and slept on friends couches for several days eating cold canned food and whatever i could get my hands on.
I leave on a bus to a large city, where my girlfriend and her family live. I still had no power or water for a week, and asked to stay with them for a few days as I had already planned a trip to that city a while ago with friends. I’d stay two days with the gf and her family, then join my friends in the AirBnB.
Day 1, she breaks up with me. Day 2 i have nowhere to go and essentially just stay at her house and try to avoid contact.
Had a great weekend despite the heavy emotions. Managed to stop by the mall and get a new shirt to lift my spirits.
At a rooftop bar surrounded by probably 100+ people at this point. The night is going well until out of the HUNDREDS of people surrounding me, a bird manages to shit on my face, which slides down onto my new shirt, and finds its last home in the inside of my beer.
My girlfriend leaves me, my car gets totaled, i lose access to my home for an entire week, still have no power internet or water over a week later, and the cherry on top was having a bird shit on ME in a massive crowd of people.

Hi,
I'll start off by saying I absolutely love Macrofactor, I've tried others and this app is the best out there and I am going to keep using it. I'm also a fan of the team in general and thank you for all the work.
I started consistently logging via Macrofactor on March 3rd. I'm 32yo, 5'6"-5'7" male, 160lbs and my expenditure currently reads at 3750, which seems incorrect, true expenditure is likely in 3200 range (I workout ~12hrs/week, run ~40-45 miles/week, lift 5x/week, average step count is 20-25k/day).
I'm also very OCD with weighing everything, including myself.
I took a vacation march 31-April 2nd, otherwise I tracked literally every single meal to an unreasonable extent, I avoided restaurants and cooked everything just because I wanted to know my expenditure. Somewhere mid april I consumed ~30k kcal of junk food in 3 days whilst not working out (and tracked everything). Extra weight was gone within a week, but expenditure estimate jumped up from 3200 to 3750 and stayed high since.
I did take another 10 day vacation starting April 28th, but I'm back on track for almost 2 weeks and the expenditure estimate is still off. I always leave vacation days completely empty to avoid partial tracking.
Did my junk food bender break the algorithm, or maybe it doesn't account for stuff like fiber (~60g/day) not having impact on my weight? Does creatine loading and unloading (I tend to forgot to take it on vacations) have an impact?
My weight is steady (which is the goal), and my average tracked consumption is 3400kcal/day for the last 3 months including that bender. Which is higher than I expected.
Is it possible I actually burn that much?
Thank you!

This has been an annoyance for quite some time. Here's an example of what happens...
When I'm editing on the timeline, I'll mark an "in" and "out" point over some audio. The selected area is then highlighted. I press the "z" key to LIFT out the selected portion. Then the annoying part happens... my edit line snaps back to where the "in" mark was. I prefer if it stay on the "out" marker and not move at all.
Is there a way to change this? I'm on version 2022.12.6

Izuku's Quirk combines many elements of different blacksmith techniques across reality and general fantasy themes. It allows for the enchantment of his creations, creation and forging of fantasy/hypothetical materials, and an upgradable forging hammer that started it all.
It starts off with the sudden materialization of a seemingly regular but ratty forging hammer. Anyone else that attempts to weild the hammer often feel a sense of judgment before being burned. That's all the doctor and anyone else at the time thought he could do (and thus managed to escape AFO's notice). It leads into an intrest in traditional blacksmithing, and after managing to make a usable tool, after a blinding flash of light the hammer looks line a normal, unblemished forging hammer. It feels pleased. He can now create Earthen metals in ore form at the cost of the matter around him. This limitation stays with him no matter how upgraded the hammer is, transmuting materials will always result in it being in the form of an Ore, albeit a pure Ore with no stone or impurities within it. As he gets more skilled and the more hurdels he crosses in his blacksmithing, the more abilities and occasionally knowledge he unlocks.
Eventually he would reach his full potental, and it really lives up to the name Blacksmith's Dream. * Enchanting materials and weapons with Quirk Samples (DNA or residue from the quirk itself, like Kurogiri's mist. Costs stamina to make one, and the material had better be able to withstand the intensity of the enchantment or it'll crumble into dust. Intensity refers to what part of the Quirk's abilities are being used to fuel it and how compatible with the item it is. Basic enchantments like sharpness and duribility are stackable with Quirked Enchantments, and take basically nothing away from any material, though the number of times enchanted and general skill in enchanting does increase or decrease its chances of crumbling),
*creating weapons capable of sealing away entities (prisons really love him. Villains hate being able to see and hear the world pass by without them but being soulbound to an item for all of eternity or until the damn thing breaks),
*sentient weapons(which he quickly realized his hammer was after unlocking that option, they're really just judgemental items that choose their weilder based on a trait or concept in the soul of the handler and then dont let anyone else use them until the death of the user, although they do transfer the skills of the most skilled weilder they had, this includes their original Quirk in the item's form, though slightly weakened. Izuku's is an exception because its an asshole and thinks that he should earn the right to use its skills, which... fair. But come on why does eveyone else get the easy requirements! At least he gets hints...),
*cursed weapons(mostly accidental creations, made by the corruption of a sentient weapon or the hijacking of a sealed weapon by the sealed consciousness inside it. It takes a strong soul to corrupt a sealed weapon and the things will posses anyone who equips them. Same situation with the sentient weapon one, but they are worse because they typically hate everything thats not dead or inanimate and influence the weilder to kill or go insane from the voices in their head.),

• creation of whatever materials he would ever need(even if it did require him to make a theoretical combination of metals and materials to make them if it didnt already exist on earth and yes Quirk Residue does count as a material. Once Izuku makes it, it's been on earth before and he no longer needs specific materals to make them)

*and the ability to appraise people and items (is the diamond real or not? Is this person's Quirk compatible with this weapon or armor or does he need to reforge it and infuse it with their DNA? Is that stranger's Quirk usable to make the material I need? Is this peice of tech useable to upgrade this item?)

So for the last 2 weeks I've been going to the gym, about 3 days a week at least. Before I joined the gym I actually lost a lot of weight, around 30 pounds. I achieved most of that through walking and some diet. Ever since I started in the gym I've just been walking on the treadmill. I would usually go for about 30 or 40 minutes, then would leave. I know it's not much but I've stayed consistent with it for these last few weeks. Thing is I do want to transition over to weights but I'm kinda nervous. The last time I was in the gym I was at my heaviest ( about 250lbs) and I couldn't really do much of anything. I can remember last time I tried to do squats. At I felt good but literally after I left I was in so much pain and could barely walk for the next two weeks. It was so bad I ended up having to cancel the membership because I just didn't have the confidence or will to go back. So now I've been really hesitant because I really want to start lifting, but I'm afraid of what happened last time and I've been really good with just walking.what should I do?

Hey y'all,
I'm in my low 30s and have been looking for ways to stay competitive. I don't wanna be that guy taking rec basketball too serious, and I personally don't love all the Oly lifts that come with CrossFit. I'm running a half marathon this summer and have signed up for a couple obstacle course runs, but would also be interested in events with more traditional strength movements as well.
What other hybrid- strength/running/overall fitness competitions are there?

Okay, so for this post there are a lot of people involved (this has been going on for a while) so I'll list up here who's who. This is my wife's family. I'll be using code names when appropriate:
Father-in-law - FIL
Mother-in-law - MIL
Wife(oldest daughter) - Wife
Second daughter - Sarah
Third daughter - Lana
Fourth daughter - Ruth
Second daughter's husband - BIL
Third daughter's fiancee - Karl
My daughter - daughter
Second daughter's older son - Danny
Second daughter's younger son - Aaron
And me as me
I know this is long but bear with me TL;DR Brother-in-law has snapped the last straw for the family and we are all starting to cut ties with him

 BIL's family has their own side of the story that I'm barely familiar with, so it won't be brought up here. We first met BIL way before they got together; Sarah bought a house as a group of friends with her boyfriend at the time, and BIL and his second wife at the time. We didn't interact with him much. We just heard a few stories about him from their friend group. Eventually this situation broke down and BIL and his second wife left and vandalized Sarah's home on the way out. They let their dogs poop all over the floor, stole some miscellaneous items, poured water in their lawn mower gas tank, etc. He did this to Sarah, his future third wife. We thought this guy was out of our lives forever. Sarah eventually came to stay on my couch after she sold the house. She lived with me and my wife for roughly 3 months. Then she went and rented an apartment a few miles away. No sooner than a few weeks did we find out she was dating future BIL, and a few weeks after that we found she was pregnant. He met the family and stated that he wanted to be a part of it. He blamed all his past transgressions on his second wife. We questioned him at the time if he was still with his second wife. He said no, and that he was officially divorced. My wife looked up the public court records and found out that he didn't file divorce papers until 11 days after we asked that question. A small lie but considering our history of knowing him it was concerning. BIL is a big gun enthusiast. About 1 months after they told us Sarah was pregnant, while cleaning a gun at home he shot himself in the hand. Again, we were concerned but Sarah assured us he was a changed man and this was just an unfortunate accident. His hand healed but he didn't do his physical therapy that seriously so his hand is still kind of jacked up. I feel this is important because he kind of has a history of not following through on what he says. During Sarah's pregnancy we found out that BIL seriously beat one of their dogs back when they bought the house together. We also figured out he diagnosed himself with bipolar, but refused to go to a doctor to get an actual diagnosis. The whole family at the time was distracted by all of this because during Sarah's pregnancy my wife went through a major medical struggle that resulted in multiple surgeries and a months-long stay in the hospital. We were so focused on that the BIL details just kind of came and went at that moment. Sarah gave birth to Danny during COVID lockdown. We were so excited and we all were very active in Danny's life. Time would pass and we just kind of got used to BIL being despite the fact that he often would miss family events. BIL and Sarah would move into a house on my in-laws property just down the road from in-laws house. MIL became their primary caregiver as she could work it around her job and still make decent money. As 4 years have passed my MIL, FIL, Lana, my Wife and I all take shifts of watching their now 2 kids for them, for free. MIL also watches my daughter but significantly less that their son's. 2 years would pass after Danny was born and everything seemed OK. There would just be hints in they way he talked about who he really was. He would say something in casual conversation like "man, there seems like there are too many black people in commercials these days" or "I don't know why we are forcing women's sports to be a thing." Bigoted stuff like that, but veiled enough so there was plausible deniability. I would often call him out on it, so he really grew to not like me. This all changed at his 30th bday. He had a big party with a lot of alcohol and weed with dozens of friends. My wife and I didn't go because we are not party people. Lana and Ruth went to the party. Sarah was also there. During this party BIL went outside and decided to "mud" his jeep through the creek beside their house. This was possibly with Karl but I'm not sure of that to this day. Karl has recently come into the picture prior to this event and was previously friends with BIL for a long time. The jeep got stuck and flooded for obvious reasons. After trying to get it out of the creek by multiple means, they gave up and left it there. I believe it took almost 2 days to get it out. He went back to the party and as everyone got progressively drunk and high, my 2 sister-in-laws Lana and Ruth (I believe) criticized BIL for getting his car stuck in a creek while playing. BIL verbally assaulted them and demanded they get out of his house. They left in tears. They drove separately, and Lana had gotten buzzed so they both got in Ruth's car and drove to my house. They sat and vented to my wife and I for a while, and eventually I offered that we should go do something fun to take their minds off of it. My wife and I drove them to Taco Bell and we got some food and drove around town for a while and made jokes in the car. After they cooled off and were in a better mood they said that Lana needed to go get her car from the party. In a flurry she accidentally left her keys inside her sister's and BIL's house. We drove them over just in case anything sketchy happened but Lana and Ruth didn't want us to go inside, so we waited out in the car. She didn't think it would be a big deal to walk in, but as her and Ruth did BIL immediately got in her face and demanding she gets out or else. Ruth went to talk to someone else at the party and didn't notice this at first. BIL shoved Lana against a wall and held her there. Everyone apparently stood in stunned silence as this happened. He then shoved her to the ground, grabbed her around the ankles and started pulling her across the floor. As he was threatening to do even worse, Ruth ran up and jumped on his back and gave him a head lock. She screamed at him to stop but before BIL could anything about this everyone finally woke up and pulled them apart. Ruth helped Lana up and they ran out of the house onto the front porch sobbing. My wife saw this and got out of the car and yelled at them to get back in our car. We drove up to the in-laws house. By then it was past midnight. MIL was about an hour away working her job and FIL was up in his room asleep. The sisters went and woke him up and explained the situation through tears. They also called MIL to inform her of the situation. He got ready and ask me to go with him down to the house to get some answers. The sisters stayed up at the house. We drove down in his car and when we got out the entire party was ready for us and greeted us at the car. Literally over a dozen people, most of whom I did not recognize started screaming what happened at both of us simultaneously. Everyone was clearly very drunk. FIL looked overwhelmed, so I raised my hands and tried asking everyone to stop for a second and go one by one telling their bit of the story. BIL stopped me mid sentence and pointed his finger in my face. I noticed he had his other hand on a holstered hand gun. He yelled out "You don't have a say here! You're barely even part of this family." For context, I had been with my wife for over 11 years at that time and he hadn't even married Sarah yet and had been there about 2 1/2 years. FIL backed up and told me that I need to stop talking and that I was being a problem. I backed off and went over the yard to Sarah and Karl. I asked Sarah what happened and she told me that she didn't see what happened and that she wasn't very aware of what was going on now. Karl would barely answer the same question. I walked back over to FIL but he told me to back off and that I really wasn't needed there. Admittedly I felt pretty insulted and just decided to walk back to his house and get my car and go home with my wife. We eventually left after FIL came back to the house. We found out later that BIL had pulled his gun out and threatened to kill himself if FIL didn't leave. Out of fear of what he would do, my in-laws were pretty afraid to take action at this point. A lot of the situation was his word against someone else's and Sarah went on a tour around to the friends and convinced them not to take any of this to the police. She then tried to smooth things over with the family and offered that BIL would apologize to everyone. He then refused, stating that Ruth was the real aggressor and that she assaulted him. He eventually agreed to apologize to just FIL for causing a problem and I think some half-hearted apologies to Lana and Ruth. The whole situation was swept under the rug but an unease has existed over the family since then. He stopped coming to family events pretty much altogether. About 4 months after this situation, prior to my daughter being born, he told MIL he was going to bring Danny up to their house so she could watch him for a few hours while he took a nap. His job works long hours so this wasn't out of the ordinary. However, he didn't show up for a while and my MIL started questioning what going on. She called but there was no answer. She drove down to his house and knocked but there wasn't an answer, only Danny crying in the background. She let herself in and found BIL asleep on the couch with Danny actively trying to wake him up. MIL tried to wake him up but nothing for a few minutes. She gave up and wrote a note to let him know where Danny was. BIL didn't notice Danny was gone for 2 hours. He finally woke up, drove up to in-laws house, and yelled at my MIL for just taking Danny without informing him. He took Danny and then left. A few months after that, after my daughter was born, He fell asleep while watching Danny again. This time we found out because when he woke up the front door was open and Danny was gone. He called in-laws for help finding him. My in-laws have a large property (about 200 acres) with a ton of it forested. Danny wandered 1/4 of a mile into the woods and I believe it took roughly a little over an hour to find him. Family questioned him hard this time but he just recoiled back into their house and didn't talk to us much. Sarah continued to defend him and said it was just an accident. Again the police were not notified about any of this. There was always this idea that if we went to authorities about any of this they would just run for it. They would then surprise everyone with the news that they were pregnant again, despite the fact that Sarah had used the morning after pill. This whole time they hadn't married yet. They announced that they were getting married but Sarah told Lana that it was mostly just to help BIL not have to go through bankruptcy a second time. I wasn't sure if this would do anything to help that situation, but that's what Sarah said at one point leading up to the wedding. About a month before the wedding, however, he threatened Sarah that if she insisted on inviting my wife to the wedding he would demand to invite a friend of his that Sarah hated. This friend also used to date BIL I believe. This was his ploy to force Sarah to not invite my Wife or me. The 2 other sisters and MIL all stood in solidarity with us and said that they would also not go if we weren't invited. He eventually relented and they got married a little before Aaron was born. As more kids were added, MIL's childcare duties got much harder. Eventually my wife and I started paying her (not much but something at least. $150 a month) to watch our daughter, but we also did chores for her, bought her food often, and eventually my Wife started taking a few shifts to watch all 3 children. To date, BIL and Sarah have never compensated any of us for our work. It's a little frustrating but we've tried to understand because Sarah and BIL seem to be bad with money. They objectively make more than us yet can't afford to pay MIL anything. Last Thanksgiving, in the middle of dinner, Sarah and BIL decided to have an "intervention" and talk about how we were not treating BIL fairly. They addressed everybody but really honed in on me specifically. This seemed to be because the rest of the family kind of dance in eggshells around them, while to be frank I'm pretty honest about how I feel about them. They seemed to think I was causing the family to turn against him and questioned why I would do that. I told him he lacked humility. He said he didn't understand. I told him that if he admitted to his mistakes and actually apologized about any of the stuff I previously wrote, instead of blaming everyone and everything else then the whole family would feel a bit different about him. A lot of talk was about the 30th b-day and other times when I just ignored him and how he had already apologized about the party. I reminded him that he didn't apologize to most of the family and he blamed Ruth. He then stated that Ruth was the cause of a lot of the problems at that party. He also made a big deal about how the family doesn't trust him with my daughter and kept emphasizing how he has never held her. We finally tried to come to an agreement. I told him I would try to talk to him more and try to understand him better and he said he would try to come to family events more. He also wanted more of a relationship with my daughter. We left and my wife and I were skeptical but we said that if this is who Sarah really wanted to be with, as long as BIL wasn't perceived as a threat he could have more contact with our daughter. We have had way more of a relationship with his kids than he has had with our daughter so I tried to sympathize with that imbalance. Karl also stated later that having known BIL for a long time, he thought he was very sincere. To date, BIL has not asked or tried at any family events to spend any time with my daughter, despite having numerous opportunities. Now to the current situation. About a month ago Lana and Karl announced that Lana was pregnant. This was a revelation due to Lana having a medical condition that made it harder to get pregnant. A lot of excitement was brewing in the family because of this. Karl has been seeming like a good partner to Lana, and proposed to her a little before the pregnancy happened. This is especially pertinent because Lana and Karl moved into a house together right beside BIL and Sarah. A few days ago they were over at Sarah and BIL's house when an argument broke out between Sarah and BIL. BIL demanded that Sarah wasn't an "obedient enough wife" and that if she wanted there marriage to work then she was going to have to get better at serving him. She was upset and they weren't coming to an agreement so he was going to leave, but apparently he was very high so Sarah refused to give him the keys to his car. He got extremely mad and then got a gun, held it to his head, and threatened to kill himself if she didn't hand over the keys. Fortunately, Danny and Aaron were taking a nap during all of this. Sarah called the police during this whole exchange and the operator heard a lot of what BIL said over the phone so based on that they arrived at the house. He apparently drove away and it took the police a bit to find him but once they did he turned himself over. They admitted him to a mandatory 72-hour stay at a psychiatric ward for a mental health assessment. Sarah then came up to the rest of the family (not me or my Wife) and gave them Danny and Aaron. She then went and confided with Lana and Karl about how abusive BIL had been and how life was just miserable right now. A lot of us, especially Karl and my in-laws, were telling her that she needs to leave BIL and file for emergency custody of her children. She seemed to be listening to us and turning a corner, but inexplicably the psychiatric ward allowed BIL to have a phone call with Sarah and they had a long conversation. Suddenly, Sarah shut us all out and completely changed her story. She started defending BIL again. BIL was then let out of the psychiatric ward a day early. Since Karl was working at the time, Lana came to stay with us and then over at her in-laws. We are especially concerned about her safety around BIL due to her being pregnant. They have since cut nearly all contact with us for 4 days now. They have only told Karl that they were getting a new TV because the old one mysteriously broke somehow. They have continued to post on social media like nothing has happened. They have spent 2 days with BIL's family so we aren't sure what their opinion of this is, though we do know a sibling of his has also told Sarah to leave him prior to this latest situation. We don't know what their plans for childcare is because they are wholly reliant upon us. Lana is very reluctant to ever be home alone. Ruth is as well. There are so many other details I haven't mentioned. There have been holes in walls they've had to fix. There is some evidence that BIL is cheating on Sarah, but that evidence is somewhat inconclusive. The bigoted comments for a while now have gotten increasingly misogynistic. It's a lot of 'we need to respect proper gender roles' kind of stuff. There's just too much and I've already written a book on here. I don't really know what to do at this point. Because a lot of this stuff has been swept under the rug it's hard to tell how seriously CPS or police would take our claims. FIL has threatened to kick them out of their very cheap rental they're in now. Who knows what they would do in that scenario. I know this post is detailed and because of that BIL or Sarah might see it, but at this point I wonder if I even give a shit. They've already eluded to keeping their sons from us in the past and the vibes we are getting now is that they are already doing it. And from the bottom of my heart, fuck BIL. 

M21 I'm doubting if it was strict parenting or if it was the drink but I want opinions. She has done a lot but I don't feel entirely satisfied either. But in the days I have drafted this, my doubts only grow.
As a kid my mom hawked over me and now things I wish I could have experienced did not exist, like going to a park or playground with a friend without supervision, whereas she did. Going to the gas station for snack I couldn't, when she asked her parents and was given a quarter when everything was a cent. Riding a bike was limited to the street we live on, and when I was able to leave, I couldn't leave the neighborhood when she walked for a while to make sure her friend got home. Once sitting on my bike at the edge of the sidewalk and she walked over, cursed me out for going on a different street and wouldn't believe me. I couldn't go to a friends house because I was going to do my homework how my teacher taught me instead of hers, which I didnt know and was not taught. At a friends house, she berated me for making her wait in the car for a few minutes longer than the arranged pickup time. By comparison to what it would have been like, it is a magical opportunity lost.
For most of my school years, all I did was go to school, do homework and play games. Despite catching on to lessons quickly, classes were something to pass, nothing more, not even for life skills. Have a B? Make it an A. I did. Is the project due? Make it better. Alright. Taking orchestra and painting was fleeting then and while I enjoyed it, it was only done for practice or assignment. Now I am upset that it was all I did instead of going out and experiencing life: going out with friends, finding a club or sport to do, or just big activity sessions. Never had a curfew because I never left home to start. I may have had fun gaming then, but I lament heavy over that now to where I will not touch one. A future education and the future as a whole I should have taken a lot more seriously than I could possibly have imagined. School did push for it, but I was a fool and did not care.
Other than the occasional family visit, I did nothing and learned nothing. Never taught to cook much, properly clean, shop for necessities, make right finances, etc. Future prospects was left to whatever I would choose, which I would put it later down the road. Never got any real world experience and just been sheltered for so long, both by my doing and my moms. No drive to do anything, nothing of a hopeful future, no being pulled out of whatever I was doing to learn anything or having skills necessary in the world today be incentivized. Aside from making sure I did well in school, I was left to myself.
She always has something to complain about. Streaks of mean and grumpy. Remembered somethings of what we were interested in but other times just an empty face. Who my mom is today is doom and gloom, speaking two different points that are showing the worst of her and nitpicking over every possible detail. Most of who she enjoys in media has an underlying toxic presence to them with name calling. Polarize, prejudice, politicize, judge and bias everything. Norway and Iceland? Too cold and mountainous, how could anyone have settled there? Germany? They all speak the same language and cannot understand anyone in a city that is 30 minutes away. That guy's accent she can't stand and defaulted to being generated, even though he sounds the same speaking Finnish. All for a better planet yet everything is wasted, trashed, or sent to China. Treat others how you want to be and from where I stand, seem like a backtalking coward. Couldn't have a water pitcher because "no one refilled it" to keep the filter going when I made sure to keep it plentiful. If she has a problem she will bring up the one exact same example related to the topic that I have heard plenty before. And most of the negative aspects of society happen more likely than they should. All while bring home a 24, 30 or however many count of budweiser a week at least. I imagine we only got along because I wasn't a brat anymore and did not try to upset her. Falling in line if you will.
Emotions bottled or maybe emotionally dead. The masculinity trap of what is the general expectation of "men". To express myself, to show emotion, to even cry is something I don't want to do out of fear of being seen, which is ironic given the code of the samurai. 6th grade she didn't remember to pick me up even though I said and called and a friend and his friend caught me being emotional and stayed around a bit to comfort me.
The fear that was put into everything. An actual quote went something as "If you get hurt, I'm not going to drive you to the hospital". Another "All girls are evil". And "that sounds too confrontational" when I asked neighbors to clean after their dog. Even questioning if my eyes doing something required a doctor for her to say that my eyes will fail naturally and something about her relative who had an eye problem and didn't see a doctor. Things that made me not do the kinds of things I want to do now. I have been so sheltered then and now that I want to go out but there is the ever scared part of me towards the unknown world. I feel I have been prejudiced into thinking such ways but there's no personal experience to back or challenge said thoughts.
Admittably, parts of me are glad I know what I have and want for morals and mindset, but its also a matter of temptation and theres still so much that I wish to explore. At times I feel I matured too quickly at the cost of a kids stupidity or innocence and now am too serious and heavyhearted for my own good. To be told how I've matured when there wasn't much to mature from. A part of me feels that I have taken after her cold, judgemental, selfish attitude and that makes me fearful to screw up any kind of friendship or relationship, and dreading that I could reflect that onto any child I may have no matter how far away into the future I do have one. I kind of want to hate her but I am so emotionally gone or warped that I can't. If I "rebel" now, or begin to, I feel that might get the fire started.
She would argue with my dad from time to time but then that continued on for days and it was a cold environment lasting days to weeks after a fight. Even prior to their fights, they rarely slept together in the same bed, let alone the same room. She would critique his employer and even his choice of friends. Once he woke up late, thus having us late to get ready for school and she began one for that. I don't remember the exact details but she once criticized him over a coat he got me. All while listening from the top of the stairs to even the bottom where I was covered by a wall. A few times we listened and we made noise that I think made them aware of us but that didn't stop them. Even starting in our presence where we would leave the room. It got to the point where he actually packed lightly to leave for the night or days and my brother and I stopped him just so he could be home. I wish I did let him go then.
I really do believe I could have had it differently if my dad was alive. He made such an effort. When I was in hospital at 4, he made the efforts to get me out and moving around. When I didn't know a swim style, he literally chucked me towards the deeper waters (I was scared, but he was right in the end, one of the fondest memories). He taught me how to use the mower and had a mini shop set up in the garage. I played with him so much and he got me into the complex games he enjoyed as I got older. For as rough we were, he was so gentle. I looked up to him then and even more than ever now. He made the effort to be one worthy of "Dad" and he was damn well worthy of that and no one could be more better for me.
"Faded gray are all the days of yesteryears So much time has turned to memories and to tears" -Valkyrja
I did graduate HS 3 years ago, did a summer program and since nothing. No job, education chances, or life plans. Even though I felt smarter, I was turned off of college simply for cost reasons and "feeding the rich" mindset. Last summer I began to look at my past and future with a whole new look with no physical change taking effect. First week into March this year I realized what I have been doing compared to how others are living through good and bad and I fell into depression hard. Now it persists with great off and on. Where I have been up at 9 in the morning to suddenly be up at 5 or 6 in the afternoon. Throughout the past 3 years, there was no making sure I was ok, no seeing how I felt, no finding out what I wanted to do. And I am still frightened of what may be out there, even when that is the key to the living that I want. I want to go, I need to go. But where? I leave for the good and better of myself, but I also leave behind this place I've called home, yet it's now so far from the one I want to remember with a fond memory. So much happens that seems to have been "normal" when it doesn't seem like it should. The same place with the same inhabitants in the same motions. No going out, no difference, no change, and VERY artificial. Nothing means anything anymore. To let how I feel about the previous years subside in me or blow over...
Always have been insecure, hesitant, second guessing. While others had spent their 18s, 19s and 20s going into the world doing many things, I've had the summer program at 18, nothing at 19, and two days in the big city to attend a concert at 20. Little noteworthy moments under my belt. It seems like love in the immediate family was not two ways or had to be earned. I have not grown. Who I am is not who I want to be at heart.
For 21, I know I should have more skills and be in better places, but theres nothing from anyone. No check-in, no advice, no motivation. Like "the birdling will leave the nest" instead of anyone preparing a boy to what is before him. Its not a snap of fingers or blink of an eye do I learn what is expected. On the grown up part, I feel heavily underprepared for the world and life. Far too long have I stayed and lived in my head. I cannot understand why I am still at home, a part of myself thinks to keep the peace but what peace needs to be kept? Nothing and no one is stopping me from leaving except myself and the thought that they will most definitely want to know where I am if I go, which I do not want to tell anyone. Or that I've been sheltered and not have realised the gates have been unlocked long ago. Things are not ok and I want to stop pretending when I leave. Even with Spring's green grass under a blue sky that ends the day with the orange sunset piercing the clouds to make them blue and pink do I feel grey.
"Watching to the night with tired eyes Waiting for nothing all my life" -Battle Against Time
I feel the kid within me, wanting to do those exciting things, yearning for any kind of companion or fellowship. What daylight reveries I can conjure to make him feel hopeful enough so he can shine soon. The things I want to do to feel happy. I want to water that little guy.
A lot of this I have remembered recently and still am connecting the dots. I already am upset at myself for not doing anything in life, but I want to be angry and I honestly hate myself for not seeing this sooner and listening to her for so long. Despite feeling broken and defunct, I still feel young enough but there's been so little done that it feels many chances are long gone. There is more freedoms I have that I do not know about and ones that I have had before that gathered dust. And now I am in a toss up between beginning college preparation now, leaving states or the country to act on these now childhood regrets. I don't want to be who I am now any longer. I just want to do something. And in between it all, confusion of what to do, how to feel and saddened that I am not who I once was or could have been.

Hi all, longtime listener, first-time caller. Please see my query and first 300 below.
My biggest question is this: 95% of the story takes place in 2014, but the book opens in 2020 when my main character receives a letter from the California Dept of Fair Housing & Employment informing her of an investigation into behavior at Chatpic. Receiving the letter spurs her to tell the story of what happened back then. The book checks back into 2020 in the middle as my MC tries to get more information about the investigation, and then it ends back in 2020 again when she decides what she wants to do about the letter.
The reason the story takes place in 2014 is because the time period--pre #MeToo/Donald Trump/the workplace reckoning of 2020--informs the decisions the MC makes back then, and she's looking back at it from a wiser perspective. If you've read The Rachel Incident, Caroline O'Donoghue does a similar thing as she retells a 2008 abortion story from the perspective of present day.
In the end, the investigation is not a driving force of the plot--so my question is how important is it that it's mentioned in the query? I ask because I've found that trying to add that piece to what I've already written starts to get convoluted, though obviously I can work at it. I think it's very clear once you read the first 300, but for agents who don't want a sample, is it clear in the blurb that this story is looking back to a time gone by?
Mostly looking for insight on this question specifically, but if you have further feedback about the letter for first 300, open to that as well. Thanks!
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Dear [Agent],
Thank you for the opportunity to submit my query for TERMS OF SERVICE, a true-ish fictional story about a young woman in a nearly impossible workplace a la UNCANNY VALLEY meets THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (with shades of 9 TO 5). TERMS OF SERVICE is complete at 95,000 words.
It’s 2014 and down-and-out celebrity blogger Maggie Clarke is desperate for a fresh start. Not only is she broke in New York City, but at 31, she thought she’d be writing something a little less embarrassing than Justin Bieber listicles by now. When her longtime internet friend Aron York–recently named the world’s youngest billionaire–offers her a lucrative position at his massively popular social media app Chatpic that puts her at the center of his inner circle in Los Angeles, it’s exactly the step-up she’s been waiting for. As Maggie learns to manage the always-on hours, the slew of acronyms, and the unlimited access to free cold brew, she encounters another more complicated problem–the boys’ club. Except this isn’t the typical ham-fisted sexism she’s used to–this is the tech bro variety: insidious, inexorable, and infuriating. When she meets an ambitious young reporter who encourages her to speak out, Maggie has a shot at revenge. But in a world before mansplaining and microaggressions, is blowing the whistle worth the risk? And is anyone ready to hear it?
Like Maggie, I was also plucked from internet obscurity by the world’s (then) youngest billionaire, [redacted], to come work at his massively popular social media app, [redacted company]. I was a founding member of the company’s content team, and all I have to show for it is six footnotes in the [redacted company] biography [redacted title] and the brutal feminist awakening that inspired me to write this manuscript. Before that, I was a full-time writer in New York whose work has appeared on MTV, Rolling Stone and Elle. Currently I’m a content and editorial consultant in Chicago, and I’m also on TikTok where 21,000 people watch me rant about work and office culture. (It’s also where 2M people enjoyed my show-and-tell video about the “sentimental” stock certificates [redacted company previously mentioned] gave a few early employees–that were worth exactly $0.00.)
As the agent who represents [Author 1] and [Author 2], you have a strong list when it comes to complex female characters embroiled in complicated social dynamics. TERMS OF SERVICE would be a great addition to this track because, while similar themes of class and workplace are explored, my flavor of levity and sarcasm makes my work distinct from [Author 1] and [Author 2], bringing a new facet to your program.
If you are interested in reading TERMS OF SERVICE, I would be happy to forward a sample of any length you suggest. Thank you for your consideration!
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First 300:
Chapter 1
2020
A lot of people might revel in the idea of receiving a letter announcing an investigation into their ex-employer.
One might, for example, envision draping themselves in a mink stole, lighting the cigarette at the end of their old-timey cigarette holder, and dialing the investigator’s number from a rotary phone atop a solid wood desk under shadowy, film noir lights. One might then imagine whispering I knew this day would come into the receiver between bursts of psychotic, hysterical laughter as they rejoiced in the long overdue arrival of the long arm of the law.
But me, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe because I didn’t have a mink stole.
No, I was crouched on the ground of my parents’ musky basement in Des Plaines, Illinois, knee-deep in piles of old diaries and CDs when I received notice of one such letter. It was month four of COVID, and Dad and I were only halfway through his cleaning list. He was already a germaphobe so a global pandemic was all he needed to justify a top-to-bottom disinfection of the entire house. And since my routine trip home in the middle of March turned into a hapless extended stay when the world shut down, it was the perfect excuse to put me to work. Just like the good old days.
We wiped down every square inch of the place. We soaked the faucet heads in lemon juice, we scrubbed the coffee mugs with baking soda. We vacuumed the damn fridge.
Reorganizing the basement shelves was a beast. Every box was like a Russian nesting doll of useless crap: old TV Guides, corroded double-A batteries, dried-out cans of paint primer, an unsettling number of hand saws. I made decent headway through the “tools” and “electronics,” but I lost all steam when I got to my high school stuff—faded Polaroids and folded-up notes stopped me in my tracks.

We met online with a 1.5 hour commute between us - It was lovebomb at first sight. The first date (june 2023) was magic spending 10 hours at the beach in the water. I had a feeling after just a week of knowing him... facetimes or texts every 3-5 hours, seeing each other every other weekend. It was lovely to have such an incredible connection with someone so quickly and crave them every moment of everyday. I really felt like this was it with the amount of attention/affection he gave me, we would surf and skate together. he said his dream was always to skate with a girl. he told me how important it was to have the same interests as your partner and we also were both into taking film photos and have really special memories captured.
The distance started to take a toll on us 3 months (September) in. It was our first sort of argument he picked about it being almost noon and we hadn't left the house yet to do what we said we would do I was ready and waiting for him to be done playing guitar. But this was all due to him waking up late per usual and his ADHD is so severe he has no idea how quickly time goes by while He will do 4 things at once and then complain about not enough time in the day.
We ended up breaking up because he kept saying "I don't Know" when I Would ask him what he wants. We both crying I packed all my things and then I said why don't we enjoy the day and do what we said we would do and then I'll go home. We ended up enjoying the afternoon and he cried to me about how he can't lose me and how foolish he was to start an argument.
OK fast forward 2 weeks in September we had plans to go camping for the weekend, I booked a dog sitter. the night he was planning to come over he cancels on because there is a rat in his house (he has 3 roommates and the kitchen and pans and cabinets were never cleaned). so I end up taking my oldest dog on the camping trip and leaving the younger one with the sitters. this was my first sign from the universe that things happen for a reason... keep reading.
Then in end of October. My old boy is sick I drive to Mexico for vet care and he offered to come with me both times and then said he had too much work. Mind you, he wakes up at 9am, clocks in from his bed, does his morning routine and doesn't start to work until 11am usually. He will go run errands in the middle of the work day, play guitar and complains about not being a good worker. He even told me a friend called him out for it because he had mentioned it to them a year prior. So he had been knowingly a poor worker for more than the time I have known him. I brushed it off since my dog was #1. 2 weeks later I take the second trip to Mexico which also happened to be the day after I had been put under for a broken finger from a surf accident. he did not come for my surgery to support me and i expressed concern on lifting my 80 lb dog with my finger freshly put back together with a metal plate. yeah he couldn't come he has work. I spend 8 hours in mexico going to 5 hospitals for my sick dog to find answers. while he ended up going to the skatepark after work. I went to stay at his house that night which was nice he setup a bed for me to lay next to my dog on the floor.
the next morning was Friday. I said ok I have to put my baby down this weekend he is so sick. he said ok I am coming over right after work to be with you. that evening he calls me. his friends brother is in town and he is going to go surfing in the morning (saturday) with them and come over right after. I said ok whatever. I was screaming inside.
he comes its fine. sunday I put my dog down. I have the vet come, before hand I had frequencies playing for my baby on spotify and he has the audacity to change it to youtube video to show my cousin a skate clip. I called him out and he dismissed me.
a week after my dog is put down we have another (many not even mentioned because its painful) butting heads episode of him telling me knitting is not faster than crocheting and he has the experience since he was around it when his friends crocheted so i should listen to him. mind you I have been crocheting for 10 years i have never knitted so i mentioned i was going to start knitting and he told me how much slower it is and i just genuinely don't know so i said oh I didn't know and I don't know what to expect and because I didn't say I believe you it was this terrible icky feeling in my gut I didn't even wanna talk to him anymore. I was telling him how excited I Was about something and he would always shoot me down. so I called him later that evening after work to discuss it and of course he is driving to the skatepark and he says he needs to go skate and feels bad energy after me calling him to talk about the knitting crocheting mishap and he goes "your life has been so depressing lately" and I was just so taken back by that and hurt I don't even remember what my response was but I should have hungup and never talked to him again. I don't remember what happened but I let it go.
then a couple weeks later (November) its 2 weeks from Thanksgiving, he says his roommate is making a fried turkey and invites me i am so excited because I am 2,000 miles from my family so I begin to prepare what meals I want to make. a week before Thanksgiving he facetimes me and says he has exciting news that hes going to mexico for thanksgiving to surf with his friends. I was so sad, I asked him why he would make plans in place of what we planned and he just said it was a special opportunity and so I felt i had no choice and didn't fight it. i realize at this point of typing all of this I enabled alot of this behavior.
that evening I sent a video message to him about how hurt I was and how inconsiderate he is of my feelings and the fact that I am his girlfriend and his friends and what he wants to do comes before me always. the next morning he apologizes via text and then is quite throughout the day which is very odd because he texts every 3 hours pretty much. I ask how his day is going and he says it started off shitty because of the message he received from me that morning, it wasn't the "best way to start the day". so again I am dismissed for sharing my feelings. and I let it go again.
Thanksgiving comes and I take my other dog camping to the spot I took my recently passed dog. Fast forward December he was visting at my house and I have been working on training my younger dog he has leash reactivity. I say "here" and treat dog when we pass other dogs so he associates quiet still behavior with a reward in this moment. Ok so then he suggests I teach dog a different word that would associate a dog is coming and that my dog needs to behave............ I said that is exactly why I say "here". He continues and starts to raise his voice, "you aren't listening to me, teach him a different word like leave it" and I said ok but he still isn't good with "here" so why would i give him another word to learn? it turned into an explosive fight. we broke up the next night and he is bawling his eyes out and so am I. a week goes by we get back together because I can't help but think he has potential to be this amazing partner he talks about all these things he wants out of someone and I check every box but he just would pick this random little arguments and then be so indecisive of what he wants to break up or not.
I told him how I wanted to do yoga teacher training he says "theres already a lot of yoga teachers". I told him I was going to costa rica with my girlfriend for a surf trip and he says "why would you go with her and not me? how long have you known her? your level of surfing isn't even at the par to go to costa rica" but he had already gone on 2 surf trips with friends. he would dismiss me time and time again. he would criticize everything I do. even telling him something I saw happen he would qualify everything I said and question what I saw was true.
His birthday comes in January and prior to this I told him how excited I am and important it is to spend brithdays together and shower each other. I make him a cake the night before and set up my dog for daycare. I drive to work keep his cake in the fridge and then after pick up dog from daycare and drive 2 hours to see him and celebrate. He then tells me he booked a trip to skate in Spain with his friends over my birthday. I was so heartbroken I wanted to throw up I asked him if he takes me seriously and he said yes of course and we both cry I am so furious I should have left but I didn't. I then tell him how disgusting his house and its been 8 months and hes never bought me flowers. the next day he brings flowers to the coffee shop I went to work at. I went back to his house after and broke up with him yet again. I burned a picture of him he gave me. I really tried to move on. he hurt me so much and would dismiss me all the time.
I don't know why but we got back together again. he started watching dharma talks I would send him (mindfulness talks, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass kind of stuff) because he knew how selfish and self centered he was and he admited it every time we broke up but made no effort and this last break up he really did seem to make an effort.
we didn't see each other for 40 days and he came over in April for a weekend we went to the art museaum he was in the middle of a story and we were getting kicked out I asked him if he can take my picture quick and he flips, "I can never finish a story it takes forever all the time" he takes my picture and then I stop being silent. I tell him you are the storyteller all the time I never tell you stories because its always about your stories I remind him I haven't been to an art museum in ages and i want a photo in that moment and your story already happened so why cant it wait a moment??? he then woke up a little and saw my perspective. and then the next day we went to surf, the surfboards are in the car we go thrifting and he says oh we can't be in there for even 30 minutes someone will steal the boards he had all this concern on the surfboards and I was like why did we come here then...? lets just leave but no we go inside and of course 15 min in he says ok! 15 more min! and then later that night I said why did you make such a big fuss and then you don't even live the truth you say? he says yeah I wanted to come apologize to you but I didn't and I am like are you kidding?! come on please I need you to take accountability for your actions this is part of being an adult!! and then he admits to being a "whiny baby" and I was like yes you are a huge baby and youre a grown ass man! anyways it was a very nice talk while I was actually able to talk and he was listening very well.
Ten days ago was my birthday, I went camping with my dog. He told me he would facetime me on my birthday he only sent a text in the morning from spain mentioning "I wish I could be with you" whatever crock of s*/t. he never called me. I saw his friends posting on IG though so I know they had Wi-Fi. I sent a picture of my camp and said "we made it, thanks for calling like you said you would :(" that was my last text to him.
the next morning he gave every excuse, "sooooo sorry I didn't get to facetime you" we were so busy blah blah blah. its like if you wanted to make the effort you would? sends another text asking how camp was and what are we doing that day and then another one 8 hours later apologizing saying how truly bad he feels and hopes I am willing to speak with him but could understand how I wouldnt want to and says he blew it.
I never responded. He never even tried to call me to apologize just 4 total texts. I blocked him from seeing my IG stories. I am so heartbroken that I spend a year thinking I was with this wonderful person who wants the same things as me to learn that all he wants is to skate and surf and not do any hard work or put any effort into life he has not made any growth the entire almost year I have known him.
I have made so many advancements in my own life. I sold my motorcycle, rented out my garage, laid brick in my yard by myself never offered to help, I starting selling all of my vintage at pop ups I did 3 and he never came to any. I broke my finger and put my dog of 11 years down. I have a really wonderful job and I also stick to my word and do what I Tell people I am going to do.
I can't help but be missing him. Wanting to work it out. I act impulsively quite often but I know in my gut this man would not stand up for me if times got tough like he hasnt this whole year. can people really change? do I owe closure to him?

My wife (37f) and I (29m) have been together 6+ years. The past two years were a blur for me but I did plan my death last November all while convincing myself I was ok.. fast forward im in therapy and getting medication and it turns out im physically unable to produce serotonin and have been stuck in a perpetual state of deep depression. My wife had assumed I just checked out and didn’t care anymore. So during those two years she lost feelings. We have been in-house separated for 4 weeks I’ve been on medication and improving myself drastically. The veil of depression has been lifted off me and I’m full of love and life again and am so in love with my wife and our two kids. I understand it is going to be a hard long journey for her to love me again but im trying to improve every day. The old me is dead. The new me and the person she originally fell in love with is here to stay. It’s just really hard how distant she is. Nothing physical, no “I love you”. The only reassurance recently was me asking if she gave up on us and she shook her head no. I guess I’m here to see if anyone has had a similar experience. I truly feel like a soldier coming back from war and I just want to embrace my wife and tell her how much I love her. But I can’t. Any feedback helps..

2024-195 / Zedd MAP: 79.48 / MLZ MAP: 91.44 / Score Gap: 11.96
Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection
There it is - the memory is clear as day. Somehow it feels like ancient history and just yesterday in equal measures. I’m driving my pride and joy at the time, my off-road Chevy truck. We’re “coming down the hill” from Folsom to our apartment in northern Sacramento. Little Miss Zedd is about 4 and is happily kicking her feet in the back seat. Mrs. Lady Zedd is next to me fiddling with CDs. I’m excited, the day’s excursion took us to specialty shops of every sort but when we got home - that’s when the best part begins. A new DVD is in hand, a Disney film I’ve never seen…
From IMDb: Basil, the rodent Sherlock Holmes, investigates the kidnapping of a toy maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan.
This movie was very early in our collecting and it’s got a special place in my heart, marking it for special memory allocation. This was a “Little Mrs. Zedd” movie - a film she watched as a child and brought to the collection. One that I’d never even heard of. She was looking to make special connections with our little girl - in a mommy and me sort of way, but I was getting in on that action - Mrs. Lady Zedd culture is something I’m always happy to share in.
We needed something simple and comforting, today. Last week’s weather was bumpy and the need to have LMZ stay with us a few days has left us both feeling out of the groove. It’s always good to see Little Miss but not under these conditions. Mrs. Lady Zedd and I just needed ((shrug)) to reconnect.
While putting our needs through the noodle to figure out this afternoon’s film, the memories of that day, 20 years ago now, just showed up like an old friend. Up the stairs I went, careful around the mid-way corner, and back down, film in hand, in just under 35-minutes! Ok, that’s not particularly fast but standing amongst all those movies, I get side-tracked.
Speaking of MLZ, she says she saw it on cable, her mother wasn’t the “take your kid to the movies” type. I think, like me, she often used movies to escape. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Just, melt into a motion picture - let it pick you up and just whisk you away. When I can project into a story, everything disappears. Time, people in the room, me sitting in my chair, all… just gone. What you might call Suspension of Disbelief extreme (xtreme?) or what we call the Movie Bubble around here
((My favorite))
Film done, I’m much more settled, MLZ has that dreamy look I love the most. Our scores, so close on film after film in recent weeks, have become divergent. Who cares? I certainly don’t - of course we’ll be ultra close on some, super far on others. I’m convinced literally anything can be expressed in terms of a bell curve, including “people that love bell curves”. ((Mathematics!)) Here we’re likely just seeing the buoyancy of childhood nostalgia - something I’m sure Little Miss Zedd will be able to share in, thanks to her mother.
Movie on? Is there any other way. :]

Lol, I thought this would be funny to write about as a first silly little post as it is the most interesting thing in my life. (Don’t mind any typos)
First of all, to anyone who wants to tell me to stop or get over it or give me any valid reasonable and rational advice,I will not listen so don’t bother.
As these stories go, I 15(f) in love with English teacher 26(f). I’m obsessed with her, and have been for almost msot 2 years, it would have been longer if she had come into my life sooner.
I’m not a love at first sight person, so it took a while for it to come about. And iv always had problems with getting violently obsessed with things, I believe it’s some kind of coping mechanism, you know? If I don’t have something to live for then I fall in love with something, subconsciously of course. First it was cartoon characters then celebrity’s and the for the first time a real person who I know in real life! (Except she’s my teacher and she’s 26) but also the first woman iv ever fallen for (iv always known Im pan so it wasn’t a shock really). I think another HUGE reason I love her is because I don’t have a mother, she was abusive, druggy, alcoholic yadi-yadi-yada, and so I don’t live with her and I don’t like her and she isn’t there for me, and so I meet a kind female adult who I look up to? Obviously I get attached and I see her as a mother figure. I really do, I want to be just like her, I want to make her proud, I seek her validation, i want to fuck her. You know, regular motherly things!
The first day I met her, first day of year 10. From the second she walked into the class I felt her energy and her vibes and I had that feeling where you instantly like someone and want to be friends with them and think they are super cool. Now, she is not hot, like Obviously to me me right now in this moment she’s the most beautiful and pretty person iv ever seen she’s so cute and hot and all that, but Obviously that’s because I’m obsessed with her everything about her is great, but she’s the kind of ugly that when she first walked into the class people snickered.
She has a rash on her chin, a noticeable moustache, she looks at least 30 despite being much younger, her eyes are creepy looking and small, her skin is really red and dry and way too textured, she does weird ugly facial expressions, she has a big nose, her hair is never brushed and always greasy, she has really small eyelashes blah blah blah.. (she obviously has some really nice features as well, but I’m trying to prove i don’t like her for her looks)
Now In her defence I think they were laughing because she has the hugest ass iv seen in my entire life, not cuz of her face. (She wears really tight leggings everyday) But, she is overweight and a lot of people bring her down cuz of it but that has nothing to do with any of it for me obviously, and I obviously didn’t laugh when she walked in.
The point is, I instantly liked her and her personality, she has that school mum vibe, she’s witty she’s confident she’s loud, she’s funny, she’s so weird (like she does and says the weirdest stuff, she’ll start dancing out of no where with no warning, she shortens words all the time and then says them three times like: “fab fab fab” she has just the weirdest tendencies and mannerisms it’s insane), shes always so exited and jolly, she’s like a ball of sunshine yet at the same time she’s so sassy and passive aggressive, when I’m older I wanna be just like her you know!
And that’s how I felt for a long time, I would just enjoy her lessons because of the energy and vibes she’d bring! She makes everything so much fun just by being there, she’s also a drama teacher so she’s great at getting a crowd going and stuff. But it seemed no one else liked her, they either fat shamed her, or said she was a bitch, or found her annoying.
They aren’t wrong she is all of those things, but she’s only a bitch to you if you don’t respect her and then she’s passive aggressive and makes your time in her class hell, and as her favourite student who kissed her ass everyday it was fun for me to watch people get roasted by her and never have to worry about it. She is annoying to a lot of people because she hypes everyone up, and she’s loud and obnoxious and confident, she laughs at her own jokes and she’s giggly and she does stupid accents, she’s the walking talking definition of “QUIRKY” and so 15 year olds find her incredibly cringey and jarring. But as an immature individual my self I found her energy like something I have never seen anyone have so i from the first day thought she was my favourite teacher ever!
I often take the role of like comic relief when it comes to my friends so I often make the joke myself, and once I felt this admiration for my English teacher, and this giddy happy feeling in me when I saw her, I thought it would be a great idea to pretend/ hint to having a crush on her to my friends as a joke so they can make fun of me. It was small things like “oh my english teacher! … oh.. I liiiiikkkee herrrrrrrr~!” Id day when people mention her, no one caught onto the joke for a couple months until one day, after a holiday I had dyed my hair and she walked past me and she complimented it, I thanked her and INSTANTLY MY HEART WAS POUNDING AND I GOT ALL GIGGLING, my friend was next to me and found it funny obviously. And then the more I went to her lessons I couldn’t stop getting all sweaty and nervous around her, and every time she’d do something cute, like squeal when she’s frustrated and make weird noises or do a fake accent, or tell a joke I’d feel so unbelievably happy, and I couldn’t stop talking and thinking about her, but Eveytime I’d think about her or look at her id get a huge ick of like.. but ewww she’s so not hot! I can NOT be in love with THAT.
By summer I was still feeling this Same way, one day she wore a dress and like the dopey idiot she is, she lifted her leg and from where I sat I saw her panties. I WAS DISGUSTED, and looked away. And then looked back.. but then looked away.. and then looked back.. and then looked away.. (and did it a couple more times) but I felt sick in my stomach the whole time! It was not a hot thing at the time.
Then the year ends and it’s the summer holiday, (now up until this point I was quite caught up with my David walliams obsession. yes the 56 year old.. and so I didn’t really care about her all that much. On the first day back, before school started I went to a birthday party and I saw her walking outside of the school, when I saw her my heat was beating so fast, i hadn’t seen her in 6 weeks and I was not expecting to see her then, I said hi to her and i couldn’t stop thinking about that moment so intensely, and every thought I had about her being ugly didn’t matter to me, it’s not like I forgot about it, I know what she looks like, but I just think everything about her is so beautiful, it’s part of her and so its perfect.
That feeling got worse and worse as the year went by, every time i see her I shake, i sweat, I have panic attack like symptoms, but I feel so happy, like manic, I am overwhelmed, I want to punch things, I want to scream.
Then we get to the part where to silence this obsession I did regrettable and wierd things that she will never know about, some of the despicable things iv done in “the name of love” for her include:
Eating her hair Licking her spit of the table Kissing her chair when she leaves the room Following her around school Drawing her Writing poems about her Writing songs about her Making edits of her Taking photos of her Recording her voice when she talks to me Stealing her trash Licking her pens Making AI chat bots with her personality Making a bingo game about her (that one is just funny, and all my friends played it too, during her lessons lol)
And many other things I won’t mention. Obviously I’m not proud of any of this, and I didn’t really need to do it, some of it I did “as a joke” for my friends, some of them I did just because I could.. but the recording her voice one is essential! Anytime we’d have a heart felt convo I’d record it so I can listen to it if I ever loose the will to live (surprisingly frequently).
Now our relationship as student and teacher was/is very good.
We’ve had some lovely moments, she told me she cared about me outside of the classroom.
A personal favourite of mine: One time she was marking my work and it was just us in the classroom and I rested my head on her shoulder as she was going through it with me, and she looked down at me and she smiled and then we stayed like that for ages while she marked my work.
All my friends said I was delusional and that she probably hates me, but she has a huge ego and i believe she likes to keep me around to give it a boost every now and then.
I wore a matching outfit with her once (on accident) and she was very happy about it
Anytime I’d ask her what I can do to improve my grade she’s say to me “oh no! But you’re doing really well! I thought you did great!”
She’d never get mad at me or shout at me for anything, if we are doing a one between two activity she’d give me the only extra sheet in the class
I asked her to sit at the front to her because I “concentrate better at the front” (i only asked cuz i wanted to sit closer to her) she gave me a sly smirk and then the next lesson she moved me to the back of the class, and also moved her self to the back of the class.
We took a selfie together and the whole time she was giggling, I gave her a Christmas card, she lets me follow her around the school, she gave my friends dirty looks when they were being mean to me
I sent her stupid emails of pictures of capybaras (it was an inside joke between us) and she responded with a way to enthusiastic response for such a simple image lol!
I sand “you belong with me” by TS and she stood in the crown and when it got to the “you belong with me” bit I pointed at her and she pointed back! Singing the words back to me
Oh, and let us not forget the amount of eye contact. I never look people in the eye, one of my first exes I barely ever looked into their eyes all the time I knew them, I just suck at eye contact. Until I met her, since I’m so insecure about her forgetting me or loosing me or something I often stare at her when she’s teaching to make sure that she doesn’t forget me. And some how in the last couple of months she stares at me as well.
Anytime she tells a joke she looks straight at me to see how I respond (always with giggles even when it’s the lamest thing iv ever heard. It’s often not funny at all.) and the entire time shes teaching the lessons I will stare at her. IN HER EYES. Like, I’ll often smile calmly, but if she hasn’t looked at me in like 4 minutes then I’ll stare deeper, but she usually looks into my eyes and hold it for a while sometimes she’ll even smile at me and then stutter and forget what she’s saying before looking away and continuing. She’ll stare deeply into my eyes, throughout the lesson, and I also always catch her looking at me first.
Once she was helping me with my work, she got really close to me, and she stared into my eyes and then I see her getting small glances at my lips (with this one I may be a little delusional) she leaned in and she kept getting confused. Like, she yaps a lot, and a lot very loudly. So it was odd for her to be standing there her arm touching mine talking to me and being like “…. Um-.. heh-.. where was i..” and she flicks through my paper and then looks back at me and goes silent and then swallows and then looks down and then flips through it again and then says something small and short followed by more silence.
I also have a theory shes on drugs, for many reasons but one time I needed her to take a photo of my book, and she was acting so weird, tired but like really like dizzy and loopy and breathless. And she went to take a photo of my book, and got behind me and she leaned into my book, and I felt her heavy loud breath on my neck as her stray hairs were tickling the side of my face and her shoulder was touching my back, she she just stood there and stared at my book for ages until i was like “um so.. you can.. take a photo or something..” and then she slowly did it hahahaha!
Obviously it’s now exam time and so school is basically over and I have no more lessons, so I didn’t go into depth about how much she means to me as a person but to sum it up into one sentence; I would want to seriously kill my self with out her in my life.
And so the thing I had been fearing for so long, the last English lesson, the last time seeing my dear beloved. Well obviously it’s life or death so I have to tell her how I feel and get her to stay in contact with me.
The last lesson ends I go up to her after a morning of: pissing my self, shitting my self, throwing up in my mouth, constantly putting on perfume, checking my hair and chewing the mintiest of gums. And I start my speech, I won’t go into it but I told her how I felt about her (minus the being in love bit I played it off as platonic duh, im not fully stupid).
I told her that she means so much to me, and she’s (one of) my favourite people in the world (that’s a white lie she’s my only favourite) I can’t go on with out her, I need her, iv felt this way since the first lesson, your so fun, you mean so much to me! I cant loose you, I don’t know what I would do with out you!!!!
I cried in her arms as she hugged me! And i didnt even need to ask she suggested we could stay in contact, in-fact all i had said was “I’ll miss you so much :(“ and she already suggested we stay in contact, but Obviosuly I still did the whole speech cuz at some point she needed to know. Her response was basically that she already knew, but she was very pleased to hear it, and everything is going to be perfectly okay.
She said we can stay in contact (through email, cuz apparently there is a “legal thing unfortunately” stopping her from giving me her number (yes I did ask for her number, but in a total no homo way.)
She said I can talk to her anytime about anything as much as I like, and that’s good enough for me!
I also gave her a drawing I did of her and me together which was cute, her response to that was “oh very cool! she walks over. she takes it in her hands, very excited to see it. This really throws her confidence off, she’s really not expecting this. OH THIS IS AMAIZING! her voice cracks THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! this is lovely! thank you, this is soo good! oh-muh-gud it’s SO good! oww I love it! thank you.. I’m wearing the same top as well, how fun~.. HOW FUN!!!! how fun!! … she takes it and puts it in her bag i will prop this up, on my desk! wicked wicked awesome!” (I recorded her reaction so that’s how you know it’s word for word)
In conclusion, im creepily obsessed and its a problem, but I don’t really regret anything cuz it’s all gotten me to this point where I can talk to her when ever I want and that’s all I could ever ask her. Yes I want to fuck her, but that’s not important to me I just need her in my life, she’s my world she’s my reason of living, and I’m so happy things are this way! I’m doing my exams now so I get to see her everyday when I come into school (by see her I mean wait outside the staff room so I can catch a glimpse of her knee). I’m also glad I’m not in her lessons anymore cuz I’d always get so twitchy around her, anytime she’d be near me and I’d be trying my best not to lunge at her, when I see her my mouth waters I just wanna grab her and kiss her all over! Eeek! She’s adorableeeee!
I love herrrrr ❤️❤️❤️

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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
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„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Hey all - I just started a big NV playthrough with a bunch of mods, no issues save for 1 so far as I followed VNV+ to a t, then installed mods that only had compatibility patches with one another or ones that didn't change anything. Only issues so far is with the Salt Lake Stories mod where the quest giver for the mod is sitting in front of a fire that is missing a textures, and then some of the little caves for More Mojave have a texture of the old mountains covering them up but I can walk through them with no issue. I'd like to make sure I don't have any big problems though (crashes or significant issues with quests/content), so where would I be able to find help to just once over my list, get rid of any unnecessary junk, etc.? My biggest concern is the load order because I accidentally let LOOT organize it in MO2 and it honestly seemed to do ok? But nevertheless.
Here's the mod list and the load order, how'd I do?

This file was automatically generated by Mod Organizer (load order).

FalloutNV.esm
DeadMoney.esm
HonestHearts.esm
OldWorldBlues.esm
LonesomeRoad.esm
GunRunnersArsenal.esm
ClassicPack.esm
MercenaryPack.esm
TribalPack.esm
CaravanPack.esm
YUP - Base Game + All DLC.esm
NavmeshOverhaul.esm
fixy crap ue.esp
Landscape Texture Improvements.esm
Vanilla Enhancements.esm
Landscape Texture Improvements - YUP Patch.esm
BraveNewWorld.esm
New Vegas Landscape Overhaul.esm
Uncut Wasteland.esm
Simple Open Freeside.esm
TGMIO.esm
Functional Post Game Ending.esm
MoreMojave.esm
TLD_Travelers.esm
NVInteriors_Core.esm
New Vegas Redesigned II.esm
Vikki and Vance Improvements.esm
NVInteriors_ComboEdition.esm
Simple Open Strip.esm
Mojave Wildlife (Vanilla-Style + No Chanced).esp
A World of Pain Revised.esm
Better Brotherhood.esm
mil.esp
The New Bison Steve Hotel.esm
CookCookTwo.esm
CIBS-Customizable-Integrated-Backpack-System.esm
Afterschool Special.esm
LegionRadio.esp
mil_Add-On.esp
Functional Post Game Ending - YUP Patch.esm
Better Character Creation.esm
Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Wasteland Patch (VNV).esp
LCSO.esm
LFSO.esm
MMDD.esm
Brotherhood and House Truce.esm
Brotherhood and Legion Truce.esm
Hardin and NCR Truce.esm
House and NCR Truce.esm
House and Kings Truce.esm
House and Followers Truce.esm
House and Kings Truce FPGE Patch.esm
Mojave NPCs.esm
House and Kings Truce Mojave NPCs Patch.esm
outsidebets.esp
DynamicWeaponDisplays.esm
MojaveSquads.esm
ClaimtheMojave.esm
ClaimtheMojaveLandscapeOverhaulRemastered.esm
ClaimtheMojaveMoreMojave.esp
GreatKhansStay.esm
FiendsLeave.esm
BrotherhoodLeaves.esm
Faction Wasteland Presence.esm
SaltLakeStories.esm
HiddenValleyOverhauled.esm
DMT _Dead Money Tweaks_.esm
Encounters of the Mojave - Highway 95 South.esp
Encounters of the Mojave - The Fort.esp
Encounters of the Mojave - Camp Searchlight and Cottonwood Cove.esp
Encounters of the Mojave - Primm and Mojave Outpost.esp
Encounters of the Mojave - NCRCF and Hidden Valley.esp
Encounters of the Mojave - Goodsprings and Sloan.esp
Main And Pause Menus Overhaul.esm
Impostors and LOD Flicker Fix.esp
NVMIM.esp
Unofficial Patch NVSE Plus.esp
YUP - NPC Fixes (Base Game + All DLC).esp
Crafting Consistency Fix.esp
Uncut Wasteland.esp
Uncut Extra Collection.esp
ExRB.esp
Simple Open Freeside - FPGE Patch.esp
Little More Lamplight.esp
DLC Enhancements.esp
Casino Crowds.esp
Casino Crowds - FPGE Patch.esp
Misc Content Restoration.esp
BraveNewWorld-FPGE.esp
Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Extra Collection Patch.esp
BraveNewWorld-YUP.esp
BraveNewWorld-UncutExtraCollection.esp
BraveNewWorld-OutsideBets.esp
MoreMojave - FPGE Patch.esp
Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks - EVEM Patch.esp
Trap Tweaks.esp
CookCookNewLook.esp
Cook-Cook In His Castle - FPGE Patch.esp
Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered v1.2.esp
NVR2 - YUP Patch.esp
NVR2 - BNW Patch.esp
Combat Armors Replacer.esp
The New Bison Steve - FPGE Patch.esp
QwibNewBackpacks.esp
CookCookNewLook_BNW.esp
Cowboy Radio - Now with VA.esp
Cowboy Radio - Songs Only.esp
thejoeroganexperience.esp
Platinum Radio.esp
Uncut Wasteland (VNV) - EVEM Patch.esp
NVR2 - UW NPCs Patch.esp
Uncut Wasteland - YUP Patch.esp
Viva New Vegas - LOD.esp
Vanilla UI Plus.esp
The Mod Configuration Menu.esp
rockbiter_AnimationSounds.esp
B42Retrievables.esp
Better Brotherhood - FPGE Patch.esp
Better Brotherhood - YUP Patch.esp
boa ncrpahelmet.esp
Misc Content Restoration - YUP Patch.esp
Misc Content Restoration - UW (VNV) Patch.esp
Boacombat2glove.esp
ImmersiveRecoil.esp
JustAssortedMods.esp
FNV FaceGen Fix.esp
FPGE - EVEM Patch.esp
EVEM - YUP Patch.esp
Enhanced Movement.esp
JIP Companions Command & Control.esp
Titans of The New West.esp
Afterschool Special - FPGE Patch.esp
Simple Open Strip - FPGE Patch.esp
IndependentFollowersFix.esp
Independent FotA Fix - FPGE Patch.esp
TGMIO_FPGE_Patch.esp
enclaveradio.esp
Conelrad 640-1240.esp
Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks.esp
Strip Lights Region Fix.esp
DNWeathers.esp
CC - Rain.esp
CC - 3D Rain.esp
More Perks v3.esp
Better Balanced Backpacks.esp
DLC Weapon Integration.esp
LaserWeaponIronSights.esp
PlasmaWeaponIronSights.esp
UWU.esp
Mojave Arsenal.esp
Mojave NPCs - Simple Open Freeside Patch.esp
FPGE - Yes Man Primm Deployable Securitrons.esp
FPGE - Fucking Spectacular Lifting.esp
FPGE - McNamara HELIOS One FULL.esp
Weapon Mods Restored.esp
FPGE-EdeStays.esp
FPGE-Rebuild Vegas.esp
FO3AssaultRifle.esp
AutumnLeaves.esp
DWD-LCSO.esp
DWD-LFSO.esp
DWD-New Vegas Pack.esp
MojaveSquads-SimpleOpenFreeside.esp
MojaveSquads_SMIM.esp
ClaimtheMojaveFPGE.esp
ClaimtheMojaveSquads.esp
ClaimtheMojaveTLD.esp
ClaimtheMojaveUncutWasteland.esp
CtM_SMIM.esp
Claim the Mojave - Extended Roombounds Patch.esp
Difficultpete.esp
ultra luxe expanded fountain.esp
LonesomeRoadScorchedSierraPowerHelmet.esp
Handcraft.esp
Radio New Vegas Cut Songs Restoration.esp
SLS English Fixes.esp
SaltLakeStoriesTweaks.esp
Lucky38Reloadedv5.esp
DWD-L38Reloadedv5.esp
Lucky38Reloadedv5_YUP_Patch.esp
Forgotten Millenia.esp
DMT Master Patch.esp
DMT TTW Patch.esp
DMT TTW Sortomatic Homes Patch.esp
Brotherhood of Steel Robots.esp
Legion Sagittarii And Venators.esp
Legion Scorpionarii - Legion Auxiliary.esp
Encounters of the Mojave - Black Mountain.esp
Legion Houndmasters.esp
NCRChemtroopers.esp
NCR Stormtroopers.esp
WaterToTravel.esp

This file was automatically generated by Mod Organizer (mod list).

+Encounters of The Mojave - Goodsprings and Sloan
+Encounters of The Mojave - NCRCF and Hidden Valley
+Encounters of the Mojave - Primm and Mojave Outpost
+Legion Houndmasters - Legion Auxiliary
+Encounters of the Mojave - Black Mountain
+Encounters of The Mojave - Camp Searchlight and Cottonwood Cove
+Encounters of The Mojave - The Fort
+Legion Scorpionarii - Legion Auxiliary
+Legion Sagittarii and Venators - Legion Auxiliary
+Brotherhood of Steel Robots
+NCR Stormtroopers
+NCR Chemtroopers (Sodaz Trench Raiders inspired)
+Encounters of The Mojave - Highway 95 South
-Kvatchcount Mods_separator
+DMT - Dead Money Tweaks - Complete Overhaul Patches
+DMT - Dead Money Tweaks - Complete Overhaul Main File
+DMT - Dead Money Tweaks - Complete Overhaul Config File
+DMT - Dead Money Tweaks - Complete Overhaul Asset Pack
+SIGMA - Melee animation overhaul - Chapter 1 - kNVSE
+Forgotten Millenia Animated
+ELITE 45 Auto Pistol Animation Overhaul (kNVSE)
+RNC - Quicksilver Flamethrower kNVSE Animation Set
+Butcher Pete Complete - A Melee Animation Overhaul
-Dead Money Tweaks_separator
+CONELRAD 640-1240 - Civil Defense Radio
+Enclave Radio
+Platinum Radio - A New Radio for New Vegas
+Cowboy Radio
+Imperium Radio - Legion Radio Station
+The Joe Rogan Experience
-Music_separator
+Water Required to Fast Travel
+Lucky 38 Suite Reloaded v5
+Hidden Valley Overhauled
+Salt Lake Stories Improvements
+Salt Lake Stories - Player Dialogue Fixes
+Salt Lake Stories
+Faction Wasteland Presence - Improved Edition
+Radio New Vegas Cut Songs Restoration
+Handcraft
+The Brotherhood Leaves the Mojave
+The Fiends Leave the Mojave
+The Great Khans Stay in the Mojave
-Working Mods 6_separator
+Lonesome Road - Scorched Sierra Power Helmet
+Ultra-Luxe Fountain Expanded
+Mewing Pete - Look Maxing of the Mojave
+Difficullt Pete the mod the movie the video game
+Claim the Mojave Living Desert Patch
+Claim the Mojave EXR Patch
+Claim the Mojave
+Mojave Squads SMIM Patch
+Mojave Squads Simple Open Freeside Patch
+Mojave Squads Ini
+Mojave Squads
+Dynamic Weapon Displays
+Autumn Leaves
+Assault Rifle Remastered
+FPGE - Rebuild Vegas
+FPGE - ED-E Stays at the Lucky 38
-Working Mods 5_separator
+Weapon Mods Restored
+New Vegas Uncut - Panzermann's Edition
+Cruiser's FPGE Mod Collection -McNamara Helios One
+Cruiser's FPGE Mod Collection - Fantastic Spectacular
+Cruiser's FPGE Mod Collection - Deployable Securitrons to Primm
+Mojave NPCs - Simple Open Freeside Patch
+Mojave NPCs
+House and Followers Truce
+House and Kings Truce
+House and NCR Truce
+Hardin and NCR Truce
+Brotherhood and Legion Truce
+Brotherhood and House Truce
-Working Mods 4_separator
+Mojave Arsenal
+UWU - Unique Weapons Upgradable
+Plasma Weapon Iron Sights
+Laser Weapon Iron Sights
+DLC Weapon Integration
+Better Balanced Backpacks
+Mojave Merchants and Desert Dealers
+Lime's Faction Safehouse Overhaul
+Lime's Casino Suite Overhaul

• Working Mods 3_separator

+More Perks Reimagined
+The Great Mojave Interior Overhaul Patches and Guides - FPGE Patch
+The Great Mojave Interior Overhaul
+New Vegas Landscape Overhaul Re-Remastered
+Cook-Cook In His Castle BNW Patch
+Brave New World
+New Vegas Redesigned 2 Revised
+Mojave Wildlife - Vanilla No Chanced Spawns Version
-Working Mods 2_separator
+Independent Followers Fix Quickly Revisited
+Cook-Cook In His Castle
+MoreMojave
+Afterschool Special
+The New Bison Steve Hotel and Lucky Casino
+Casino Crowds
+A Very Uncreative Collection of FPGE Patches
+Simple Open Strip
+Simple Open Freeside
-Working Mods 1_separator
+Uncut Wasteland Extra Collection Simple Open Freeside
+Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered
+Uncut Wasteland Extra Collection
+JIP Companions Command and Control
+Better Character Creation
-Mods_separator
+Combat Armors Replacer (NV - TTW)
+General Lighting Overhaul ALT Compatibile
-Salamand3r Visuals - Extension_separator
+NV Interiors Remastered
+The N.V. Interiors Project
+A World of (Less) Pain - A Lore Friendly AWOP Revision
+Another Millenia Gun Add-on
+Hit - Millenia Animations - Part 2
+Another Millenia
+CIBS - Customizable Integrated Backpack System
+Canvas Backpacks - FNV - TTW
-Mojave Express Content_separator
+Webb's Titans of The New West Patch Emporium
+aMidianBorn NV Book Of Water Book of Steel
+Titans of The New West
-Mojave Express Overhauls_separator
+Retrievable Throwables Reforged
-Mojave Express Gameplay_separator
+MAPMO - Main and Pause Menus Overhaul
-Mojave Express User Interface_separator
+Sound Extender
+Weapon Based Hands Clip Distance
+HIPControl - Weapon Idle Position Adjuster - ESPless
+AnhNVSE
+SUP NVSE
-Mojave Express Utilities_separator
+Uncut Wasteland VNV LOD Patches
+LODIFY - Level of detail improvement for your Fallout (TTW And NV Lods) SOGB Edition
+LODIFY - Level of detail improvement for your Fallout (TTW And NV Lods)
+Different LOD mods little tweaks and additions
+Wasted LOD - Cliffs of Mojave
+More LODs Additions and fixes
+TCM's LOD Overhaul
+FNV LOD Supplementation Optional Overpass
+FNV LOD Supplementation
+LOD additions and improvements
+Much Needed LOD fixed rocks color
+Much Needed LOD
+Trees LOD Billboards Vanilla
+FNVLODGen Resources
+LOD Fixes and Improvements - NVSE
-VNV LOD Stuff_separator
+Climate Control - Rain - 3D Rain
+Climate Control - Rain
+3D Rain
+Cloud Upgrade NVSE
+High Resolution Bloom NVSE
+Desert Natural Weathers - NV - TTW
+Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks - EVEM Patch
+Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks (Interior Lighting for FNV and TTW)
+A Little More Lamplight
+More Consistent Vanilla Rock Textures (Less Green Clifftops)
+Wasted Rocks Normals
+Landscape Texture Improvements
+Improved LOD Noise Texture
+High Resolution Water Fog - Water Aliasing Fix
+Smooth True Iron Sights Camera
+Iron Sights Aligned
+FNV Clean Animations
+Anniversary Anim Pack
+Viewmodel Shading Fix - NVSE
+Muzzle Flash Light Fix - NVSE
+Mostly Fixed FaceGen Tints (NV or TTW)
-VNV+ Visuals_separator
+Better Brotherhood
+The Living Desert - Travelers Patrols Consequences Increased Population and more
+Essential DLC Enhancements Merged
+FPGE EVEM Patch
+Functional Post Game Ending
+Misc Content Restoration UW VNV Patch
+Misc Content Restoration
+Uncut Wasteland (VNV) - EVEM Patch
+Uncut Wasteland VNV
-VNV+ Content_separator
+Harder Barter Faster Stronger
+Traps Tweaks - Traps Use Other Skills
+Vikki and Vance Improvements
+Vish's Patch Hub - Misc Content Restoration
+Vish's Patch Hub
+Enhanced Movement INI
+Enhanced Movement
+Essential Vanilla Enhancements Merged
+Faster Sleep-Wait
+Better Caravan
+Immersive Recoil 2.0
+Clean Just Assorted Mods (JAM)
+JLM Grab Tweak
+JAM - VNV Configuraton
+JAM - Just Assorted Mods
-VNV+ Gameplay_separator
+No Exit to Main Menu
+Sleep Wait Hardcore Needs
+JIP Improved Recipe Menu ESPless
+Menu Search
+High Resolution Screens
+High Res Local Maps
+Clean Companion Wheel
+Clean Vanilla Hud
+VUIPlus - Dialog Background Add-on
+Vanilla UI Plus (New Vegas)
+The Mod Configuration Menu
-VNV+ User Interface_separator
+OneTweak but Really Updated
+HDR Save Image Patch
+Fog-based Object Culling
+Faster Main Menu
-Bug Fixes from Performance & Stability Guide_separator
+Impostors and LOD Flicker Fix
+Swimming Creatures Fix - ESPless
+Strip Lights Region Fix
+ExRB - Extended Roombounds
+Crafting Consistency Fix
+Depth of Field Fix - NVSE
+External Emittance Fix - NVSE
+Fallout Alpha Rendering Tweaks - NVSE
+Aqua Performa - Strip Performance Fix
+MoonlightNVSE
+ActorCause Save Bloat Fix
+Misc Audio Tweaks and Fixes - Elijah Missing Distortion Fix
+Misc Audio Tweaks and Fixes - Assorted Voice Popping Fixes
+Climate Control NVSE
+Pip-Boy Shading Fix NVSE
+Improved Lighting Shaders
+Items Transformed - Enhanced Meshes (ITEM)
+Meshes and Collision - Totally Enhanced Nifs (MAC-TEN)
+PipBoyOn Node Fixes
+skinned mesh improvement mod
+New Vegas Mesh Improvement Mod - NVMIM
+ISControl Enabler and Ironsights adjuster (now ESPless)
+Viewmodel Shake Fix - NVSE
+VATS Lag Fix
+Combat Lag Fix (NVSE)
+lStewieAl's Engine Optimizations
+Stewie Tweaks Essentials INI
+lStewieAl's Tweaks and Engine Fixes
+Improved AI (Navmesh Overhaul Mod)
+Unofficial Patch NVSE Plus
+Yukichigai Unofficial Patch - YUP
-Bug Fixes_separator
+KEYWORDS
+Basic Console Autocomplete
+Console Paste Support
+Improved Console (NVSE)
+Yvile's Crash Logger
+FNV Mod Limit Fix
+UIO - User Interface Organizer
+kNVSE Animation Plugin
+NVTF - INI Presets - Texture Modding Preset
+NVTF - New Vegas Tick Fix
+ShowOff xNVSE Plugin
+JohnnyGuitar NVSE - INI Presets
+JohnnyGuitar NVSE
+JIP LN NVSE Plugin Ini Presets
+JIP LN NVSE Plugin
-Utilities_separator
+Fixed ESMs
*DLC: CaravanPack
*DLC: ClassicPack
*DLC: DeadMoney
*DLC: GunRunnersArsenal
*DLC: HonestHearts
*DLC: LonesomeRoad
*DLC: MercenaryPack
*DLC: OldWorldBlues
*DLC: TribalPack

I have been trying to lose this 20-30 pounds since I gained it during the pandemic.
I am not unhealthy, my blood pressure and all labs are great, I walk 5,000-10,000 steps a day and I don’t eat much red meat or white bread. I’m just busy, hormonal and I’ve also been undergoing IVF for the last year.
I’ve tried to count calories but it doesn’t seem to stick in my head daily to stay on track. I don’t understand why everyone else cares so much and tries to offer tips I never asked for.
It seems to bother them more than me and I don’t even feel that I’m too overweight; I must not carry it well. I’ve been lifting heavy weights and doing a full body weightlifting program since January with breaks for IVF.
I wish everyone would just leave me alone and let me deal with it. I feel like after 39 years of being skinny these 2 years of being overweight everyone assumes it’s something I’m doing wrong when it just crept up on me.
Being skinny didn’t take any effort from me before. I just exercised a bit more and I ate when I was hungry. It’s not something people should be thinking is a big accomplishment and being heavier is a big problem.
Tired of this.

Hello everybody 👋 I’m booked to stay in a place near The Sanctuary of Truth shortly, and sadly on this trip I will be unable to utilise Pattaya for its more “infamous” lifestyle activities. I will however have a spare few hours every day and I was wondering if anyone has any recommendations for good personal trainers and gyms in this area, so I can get someone to kick my ass every day lifting weights? Bit scared by the Muey Thai gyms but willing to give any a try as long as I can get a trainer to help me through it.

Message from Anonymous:

Attention Retail Investors: A Message from Anonymous
Fellow Apes,
In these turbulent times, it’s easy to get lost in the chaos, confusion, and negativity surrounding us. But remember, we are stronger together. Here’s a message to unite and guide us through this journey.
1. **Unity is Our Strength: The power of our movement lies in our unity. When we stand together, our collective actions can move mountains. Don’t let the noise and distractions divide us. Stay focused on our common goal – holding the line and pushing for victory. 💎🙌
2. **Stay Informed and Educated: Knowledge is our most powerful weapon. Stay informed about the latest developments and understand the dynamics at play. Share your insights and learnings with the community. The more we know, the better we can strategize and act. 📚
3. **Resist Fear and Doubt: Fear, uncertainty, and doubt are tools used to weaken our resolve. Trust in our cause and in each other. We’ve seen what happens when retail investors unite and stay strong. The results can be astonishing. 🚀
4. **Positive Vibes Only: Let’s cultivate a positive and supportive environment. Lift each other up, offer encouragement, and spread positivity. Together, we can overcome any challenge and turn every obstacle into an opportunity. 🌟
5. **Focus on the Big Picture: Remember why we’re here. It’s not just about individual gains but about making a statement and standing up against the big players. Our collective action is a demonstration of our power and our right to participate in the market on equal footing. 📢
Final Call to Action: Apes, now is the time to double down on our efforts. Buy, hold, and spread the word. Let’s show the world what we can achieve when we come together with a shared purpose. The journey may be tough, but the rewards will be worth it. Together, we rise. Together, we win.
United we stand. Apes together strong.
Anonymous
This message is intended to inspire, unite, and motivate retail investors by emphasizing the importance of unity, knowledge, and positivity. By presenting a clear and encouraging message, it aims to provide direction and reduce confusion and negativity within the community.

TL;DR: Is there a way in Michigan to protect myself from debt created by 1 party during a separation?
Since separating, wife has decided she NEEDS to travel, get new clothes and makeovers. We don't have funds or close to it for this kind of spending. Since we don't have the money, she is putting it on joint credit cards. We've always put the kids first. We kept our heads above debt with expenses but just barely.
I've moved out. Instead of renting, I'm staying with family and friends where I can to help keep expenses in check. This helps keep our kids in extracurricular activities, that is how tight money is.
She doesn't have any justification for her spending and dismisses it with "We can just declare bankruptcy". I pleaded with her to be mindful for the kids sake, its hard enough on them as it is. She claims they will be fine (they are in therapy and not doing well according to therapist).
I don't want to declare bankruptcy after this. I want to be responsible and not have to rob my kids of their childhood because funds were spent on make-up, boobs and travel.
Is there a way to protect myself from the debt she is creating? Can someone share links? How-tos? Laws? Anything to help educate and inform!