I’m gonna try to make this as simple as possible. Basically I’ve been dealing with this woman since 2019 and at first I thought she was sweet, spiritual, and innocent, boyyyy was I wrong.. as time went on I started to see the real her. She’s very manipulative, a pathological liar, narcissist, and she has cluster B border line personality disorder. The night we met she fed me a bunch of lies which I uncovered overtime for example she told me the first night we met that she had been raped the year prior while she was in school(which I later found out was not true whatsoever. Months down the line she would even talk about exs that were “abusive” towards her which I later also found out wasn’t true. Fast forward to February of 2020 she ended up pregnant with our first child and a couple months into the pregnancy she just decided she’s not gonna deal with me anymore, so I ended up dating a woman I’ve known since middle school. She found out about this and next thing I know the sheriffs are serving me a restraining order accusing me of rape!!! When we showed up for court she immediately dropped the order before we even could talk to the judge. Fast forward to when my child was born in December of 2020 she texts me that she just had the baby and I asked if I could come up there and she said “no” and as time goes on she start’s blatantly keeping my child from me I didn’t meet my first born until February of 2021, and that’s when she tried to reconcile whatever situationship we had and would go on to apologize for the accusations saying her family foster her to do that so that I won’t be able to be in my child’s life which of course was a lie that was her decision. As time goes on the girl I was dating passed away and I was distraught so my baby mother comes around and I ended up coming up on money and decided to get us an apartment with our child two months into staying there I had a seizure while sleeping and instead of staying there to help she takes my child and leaves and proceeded to text my mom a picture of me in bed having the seizure and even tells my mom I was hitting her while having a seizure …. She blocked me again after that and a month later comes back around againnnn I guess basically to just have sex with me and then blocks me again and keeps me from my child, and at that point she was pregnant with my second child. I didn’t see my oldest for 6-7 months I had moved on to a nice relationship with a wonderful woman by that time and my second child was born, and that’s when I decided to take this stuff to court and the judge reprimanded her for isolating my kids from me and a custody order was placed for them to be with me every other weekend. During the custody court date she tried telling the judge I was abusive and all that nonsense and the judge seen right through it and didn’t pay it any attention, so two months after that she starts reaching out more and trying to have normal conversations and I would go along with it like a idiot and she wanted to hook up again and we did a few times, in which my girlfriend found out and we broke up and then weeks after that my baby moms ghost me again, still following the order tho. A month later my girlfriend and I got back on good terms and she notices and tries to get me to sabotage my relationship again! It doesn’t really work and I came to find out she would tell her family I was abusing her and a bunch of other ridiculous lies. This time CPS gets involved and investigates me for DV, which didn’t work. Now let’s fast forward to two years later, my babymom keeps coming in and out of my life(I don’t know why I let her honestly) she thinks about leaving to the military and I took the kids while she tries to go to the recruiting camp or whatever to see if she can enlist which she can’t because apparently she’s been committed by her mother a few times.. I stopped dealing with her for a while until some months back, she calls herself apologizing for everything she’s done to me and we start hanging out again but at this point I no longer am in love with her I wanted to go be with the woman I was still in love with that she thought she Sabotaged, and when I confessed this to her and that I can’t deal with how much she lies and plays these mental games and before I try to go home she tells me she’s gonna kill herself when I go home and I had her committed at her own request, she stayed for about a week and a half. Gets out and was put on meds and therapy which she stopped using after a couple of months. Me and the girl I’m in love with are still seeing each other and me and my babymoms stopped dealing with each other yet again. I get a knock on the door about a month or two later with getting served another restraining order falsely accusing me of abuse yet again I didn’t fight it cuz I’m really tired of her at this point. We started hanging out just taking the boys to the park and stuff like that just to try to bond with our kids as a family despite everything… she starts wanting to get intimate and I actually didn’t want to this time and then she starts telling me a bunch of lies about how she hasn’t been with anybody and a whole bunch of non sense that I know is false, and I snapped on her and called her out on all of it, I went wrong in the conversation and threw her phone back at her but it wasn’t in a aggressive way it hits her on the eye and I apologized and everything and I still say I don’t wanna be intimate with her and wanna be with the same woman that I’m in love with still, and then she begins to start that “I wanna kill myself” bullshit again except this time I don’t commit her cuz I realize she just tries to get pity from me and everybody else however she can. The next day she texts and asks for a bag she left at my house I told her I’d leave it on the porch for her. When she pulls up me and my girlfriend and her son are outside playing, out of nowhere her uncles jumps out her car and attacks me while my kids are watching from her car and my girlfriend’s son was right there in front of all this he then runs back to her car and they pull off quickly. The phone left her eye a lil black when I threw it at her and she even admitted that to my brother through text and to me in text that it was the phone, but typical crazy girl fashion she even texts my girlfriend after her and her uncle left a picture of her eye and says “you better leave him alone before this happens to you” she reported the incident to police weeks later but no charges were filed, CPS reached out to me yet again and I explain to them what happened over the phone and they didn’t seem to adamant about opening up a case. After the attack from her uncle I go to the courts and filed for motion of contempt for not following the custody arrangement on a few occasions, one of being that she had her u cake attack me with my kids present and one of the requirements on the order is to not let the other parent be harmed in any way in front of the children which the judge signed off on and we have court later today for. So yesterday she reaches out after it’s been almost two months since that whole attack from her uncle saying how she misses me and she wants to get the restraining order dropped, and she wants to sleep with me, and see me, and all that. And I actually let her come meet up with me at the mall just to kind of see where her headspace is. Long story short came to find out she was dating some guy and I told him all about her in which he agreed that she lies about every single thing and it’s almost impossible to believe a word out her mouth. this girl has some serious issues and I really want full custody of my boys because I’m scared for their safety being with her as she’s really unstable and flat out crazy, I know hiring an attorney would be the easiest route and me and my family are willing to go in on one but it’s so expensive that if I can do it without an attorney I would like that, would the judge wnat to hear about any of this at this custody violation hearing? Or should I open another case for that separately? I did mention to CPS when they asked me if I had any concerns about my kids being with her I didn’t really want to say too much because I was going to court anyway but I did tell them she smokes marijuana often and drinks very often. I know I should’ve just told them about her mental health problems right then and there but I was still kinda in shock they called me in the first place. Now most of this stuff is documented in texts and pictures, what would you do in this situation? Like what’s the best way of going about fighting her for full custody? This is in North Carolina btw.

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless (currently 57% of float sold short per FinViz), with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.
It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:
"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.

Debunked Claims

The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.
With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note: this sub disallows image posts. There is a similar post in the RILYStock sub which contains virtually all source images for the claim in the comments (too many images to embed in the post). The source images are illuminating.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1

No source images included for the claims, as this sub disallows images in posts and comments. Images can be seen on a version of this posted to a sub that discusses RILY. All claims can be sourced on the various social media venues and websites utilized by the short sellers. Other sources include: https://wolfpackresearch.com/research/rily/ and here https://friendlybearresearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/RILY-Analyst-Day-Questions-12_11_13-Final.pdf and https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/2cpgaejc45gocvoqb1ngg/corner-office/how-b-riley-garnered-the-biggest-short-interest-of-2023 and https://www.wsj.com/finance/how-an-unremarkable-deal-became-a-big-threat-to-a-small-investment-bank-f819a169 . https://adviserinfo.sec.gov/firm/summary/304196 form ADV. This is not financial advice. All claim summarizations reflect my interpretation of the short seller claims, and should be verified against original sources, along with all counters. Due to Reddit image attachment limits, not all source images are included (but any missing can be found on TwitteX or other publicly available sources).

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless (currently 57% of float sold short per FinViz), with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.
It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:
"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.

Debunked Claims

The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.
With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1
19) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"$RILY doesn't make it till Easter... I will say it again and again.."	FALSE They made it, filed a 10-K and paid a dividend, filed a 10-Q and are paying a dividend, and are chugging along. With stock price 50% higher than when this claim was made.

A sampling of the source claims listed above can be found in the images embedded in comments below this post, with additional claims found here https://wolfpackresearch.com/research/rily/ and here https://friendlybearresearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/RILY-Analyst-Day-Questions-12_11_13-Final.pdf and https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/2cpgaejc45gocvoqb1ngg/corner-office/how-b-riley-garnered-the-biggest-short-interest-of-2023 and https://www.wsj.com/finance/how-an-unremarkable-deal-became-a-big-threat-to-a-small-investment-bank-f819a169 . https://adviserinfo.sec.gov/firm/summary/304196 form ADV. Additional claims can be sourced on the various social media venues and websites utilized by the short sellers. This is not financial advice. All claim summarizations reflect my interpretation of the short seller claims, and should be verified against original sources, along with all counters. Due to Reddit image attachment limits, not all source images are included (but any missing can be found on TwitteX or other publicly available sources). Was unable to embed images in the post itself due to a Reddit limitation/bug.

I stumbled across this video, yesterday, and, it took me by surprise when it said, "The Greek Gods existed in the Mycenaean Age. I'm sorry if everybody actually knew this already. But I was taken aback by it.
A part of the reason why I feel a certain way, is b/c I grew up on Christianity, and the Christian god is supposed to be the oldest God. This might be evidence that the Greek Gods are actually far older than the Christian God.
Even if you were to ONLY go by the torah only, the torah was composed in 250 BCE. The Mycenaean Age was from 1700-1100 BCE. (I used the whole age b/c from my understanding, it's mostly an oral tradition. I also prefer an oral tradition than a written tradition. Like when it comes to the modern tellings of these stories, I don't think the ancient Gods hate them. I think the ancient gods actually love the modern retelling of them, as long as you're not trying to insult them or humiliate them. But if you're telling these stories in their honor, I think it'll make them happy. Like, when I drew the Gods, I can feel their happiness.)
But, idk, the aforementioned video was a shocker. Poseidon was the king of the underworld. Hades didn't exist. Hermes didn't exist. Persephone pre-dates Hades. Not only does Persephone pre-dates Hades, but she had a different name all together.
It's just a lot to take in. The video seems to be made by an atheist that just likes the folklore, so she's rather harsh on Zeus.
My take on Zeus. The way I view it, nobody considers the Christian God a rapist (except for anti-theists.) In Christian traditions, Mary being pregnant by God puts her in a very high honor. Many Christians worship Mary b/c she was the mortal chosen by God.
More likely than not, back during that time period, sleeping with a God was considered an extremely high honor. I can only surmise this by how Christians treat their God. Nobody goes, "Does Mary consent to having baby Jesus?"
From my understanding Semele gets to hang out at Mt Olympus because she gave birth to Dionysus, and IO has became an Egyptian Goddess. Sleeping with a god puts you in high regard. (I haven't read any of the original work. I've read the toned down versions of it. In the versions I've read, Zeus doesn't rape anybody. Everytime he cheated on Hera, the other woman consented.)

I was considering going no-contact with my family minus a brother I’m close to 3 years ago and was almost out until my father died in a freak accident and I got roped back in. My sister has spent the last 30 years making my life a living hell and my parents never stuck up for me or protected me from her. My mother, now alone, is terrified of her. We had a shitty childhood and all have different survival tactics, but after going to therapy for four years now, I’ve gotten away from those and surround myself with happy, healthy, amazing, supportive people. In regard to family, I keep my distance when I can (living 3.5 hours away helps), but often am the one everyone turns to when shit goes sideways to fix everything, calm people down, figure out what to do next. I’m tired of it, especially now realizing no one does the same for me.
I recently got married and had a 40 person head count, with 38 yeses. After a bunch of random crap, 13 of my 20 invitees flaked 3 days to 2 hours before the party, all of which were very, very close family members including a brother and two of my BILs. Had I known this, with ample timing, I would have invited more friends who WOULD have shown, but due to family taking up so much of the headcount, I couldn’t extend invites to them all. I vented to my mother who said at least I have my sister coming, who I said was only invited since the others were and she has never been nice to me or my husband - which my mother agreed with and said was a self-centered survival thing. I said she should learn a little kindness which would get her far. She despises my husband, who is genuinely as nice as can be, even to a fault. Doesn’t have a bad bone in his body, god bless him. But he supports me and loves me and we do well off each other and thrive, which she doesn’t like. Other siblings have commented on the fact she treats him so poorly when he is nothing but so kind to her.
Come party, 2 hours in and she’s nowhere to be seen. We’re waiting around to cut cakes since her household consisted of 5 people and we didn’t want to have people randomly walk in on it and ruin the photographs, miss the momentous moment, etc. My brother gets in touch with her and relays the message that I’m a monster, I’m childish and horrible and never welcome her to anything and I’m irrelevant and no one likes me which is why everyone bailed on me and I should be embarrassed. The only person I said those things to was my mother (who couldn’t come to party due to health reasons). I spent a majority of my wedding party crying on a fire escape because I was so upset by her words, so upset that everyone bailed, and so upset I didn’t follow my gut inviting other friends who would have come over obligatory family invites. I blocked my sister and her friend who joined in on her meanness. She has taken to emailing and texting me under spoof emails and phone numbers. Calling me irrelevant, embarrassing, disgusting, ugly, childish, greedy, no one showed up because they don’t like me, never been liked, etc.
My mother has spoken to her, but hasn’t reached out to me since the party when I said I was hurt at what she shared in confidence and need to think about what I want from this family anymore. My mother swears she went through her phone and saw the messages, but other parts of her (mothers) story don’t align. My mother historically has victim mindset over everything and could do no wrong. I try to do nothing but support my mother but she can never ever see how she’s in the wrong - ever. For example, she put her electric bill under my name and SS and defaulted on it for years. When I called her out on it after the company started reaching out to me, she said it’s always been like this, I didn’t say anything years ago so what’s the difference now, she’s doing no wrong and if I want her to go without electric and ruin the family then by all means go ahead and shut it off if I want.
I’m hurt, I’m upset. My husband has been amazing, but he doesn’t have any family that we could lean on ever. I’m torn between going fully no contact between my siblings who enable my sister, my mother who is emotionally abusive and enables her and doesn’t protect the rest of us, and calling it a day. Or going no contact with siblings, low contact with my mother, and never returning until they get their shit together and go to therapy. I just don’t know what is best anymore since I know my mom will never stand up to her. Family is all I’ve ever really had outside a close knit group of 3 friends, so it’s hard to go from everything to nothing in the blink of an eye.
Ever since my dad died and my sister took over, I have felt like I don’t have a spot in the family anymore. My sisters best friend of 15 years has always wanted to be apart of our big family since she had a dysfunctional one herself, and joins us on family vacations, Christmas, every waking moment. She is just as bad as my sister, and my sister is her only friend so she bows down to her. Since dad died, it’s like my sister and her friend don’t want me in the family and want to give the bff my daughter spot and to ostracize me. All of this is making me spiral and spiral and spiral. I haven’t been this bad mentally in a really, REALLY long time and it’s triggering me a lot.
I feel like as a woman, I’m held to a different caliber than the others. My brothers could do whatever they damn well please, and they do, and everyone turns a blind eye. With my sister being the oldest, she gets the same treatment. I am overwhelmed with what this family puts me through. My husband doesn’t have any family anymore for us to lean on, spend holidays with, etc. How do you move on? How do you find peace? How do you be okay with the fact nothing will ever change in this dynamic so it’s all or nothing?
FWIW - have an amazing therapist, amazing support group. Am ok, just sad and upset.

I suspect my sister is narcissistic with enabling parents. I was considering going no-contact with my family minus a brother I’m close to 3 years ago and was almost out until my father died in a freak accident and I got roped back in. My sister has spent the last 30 years making my life a living hell and my parents never stuck up for me or protected me from her. My mother, now alone, is terrified of her. We had a shitty childhood and all have different survival tactics, but after going to therapy for four years now, I’ve gotten away from those and surround myself with happy, healthy, amazing, supportive people. In regard to family, I keep my distance when I can (living 3.5 hours away helps), but often am the one everyone turns to when shit goes sideways to fix everything, calm people down, figure out what to do next. I’m tired of it, especially now realizing no one does the same for me.
I recently got married and had a 40 person head count, with 38 yeses. After a bunch of random crap, 13 of my 20 invitees flaked 3 days to 2 hours before the party, all of which were very, very close family members including a brother and two of my BILs. Had I known this, with ample timing, I would have invited more friends who WOULD have shown, but due to family taking up so much of the headcount, I couldn’t extend invites to them all. I vented to my mother who said at least I have my sister coming, who I said was only invited since the others were and she has never been nice to me or my husband - which my mother agreed with and said was a self-centered survival thing. I said she should learn a little kindness which would get her far. She despises my husband, who is genuinely as nice as can be, even to a fault. Doesn’t have a bad bone in his body, god bless him. But he supports me and loves me and we do well off each other and thrive, which she doesn’t like. Other siblings have commented on the fact she treats him so poorly when he is nothing but so kind to her.
Come party, 2 hours in and she’s nowhere to be seen. We’re waiting around to cut cakes since her household consisted of 5 people and we didn’t want to have people randomly walk in on it and ruin the photographs, miss the momentous moment, etc. My brother gets in touch with her and relays the message that I’m a monster, I’m childish and horrible and never welcome her to anything and I’m irrelevant and no one likes me which is why everyone bailed on me and I should be embarrassed. The only person I said those things to was my mother (who couldn’t come to party due to health reasons). I spent a majority of my wedding party crying on a fire escape because I was so upset by her words, so upset that everyone bailed, and so upset I didn’t follow my gut inviting other friends who would have come over obligatory family invites. I blocked my sister and her friend who joined in on her meanness. She has taken to emailing and texting me under spoof emails and phone numbers. Calling me irrelevant, embarrassing, disgusting, ugly, childish, greedy, no one showed up because they don’t like me, never been liked, etc.
My mother has spoken to her, but hasn’t reached out to me since the party when I said I was hurt at what she shared in confidence and need to think about what I want from this family anymore. My mother swears she went through her phone and saw the messages, but other parts of her (mothers) story don’t align. My mother historically has victim mindset over everything and could do no wrong.
I’m hurt, I’m upset. My husband has been amazing, but he doesn’t have any family that we could lean on ever. I’m torn between going fully no contact between my siblings who enable my sister, my mother who is emotionally abusive and enables her and doesn’t protect the rest of us, and calling it a day. Or going no contact with siblings, low contact with my mother, and never returning until they get their shit together and go to therapy. I just don’t know what is best anymore since I know my mom will never stand up to her. Family is all I’ve ever really had outside a close knit group of 3 friends, so it’s hard to go from everything to nothing in the blink of an eye.
Ever since my dad died and my sister took over, I have felt like I don’t have a spot in the family anymore. My sisters best friend of 15 years has always wanted to be apart of our big family since she had a dysfunctional one herself, and joins us on family vacations, Christmas, every waking moment. She is just as bad as my sister, and my sister is her only friend so she bows down to her. Since dad died, it’s like my sister and her friend don’t want me in the family and want to give the bff my daughter spot and to ostracize me. All of this is making me spiral and spiral and spiral. I haven’t been this bad mentally in a really, REALLY long time and it’s triggering me a lot.
I feel like as a woman, I’m held to a different caliber than the others. My brothers could do whatever they damn well please, and they do, and everyone turns a blind eye. With my sister being the oldest, she gets the same treatment. I am overwhelmed with what this family puts me through. My husband doesn’t have any family anymore for us to lean on, spend holidays with, etc. How do you move on? How do you find peace? How do you be okay with the fact nothing will ever change in this dynamic so it’s all or nothing?
FWIW - have an amazing therapist, amazing support group. Am ok, just sad and upset.

I will continue to update this post as reviews come in.
Rotten Tomatoes: Certified Fresh
Critics Consensus: A deceptively dark thriller that's also loaded with laughs, Hit Man is an outstanding showcase for leading man Glen Powell -- and one of the most purely entertaining films of Richard Linklater's career.

	Score	Number of Reviews	Average Rating
All Critics	96%	81	8.30/10
Top Critics	93%	27	8.00/10

Metacritic: 82 (21 Reviews)
Sample Reviews:
“Hit Man” is studded with delicious moments, but as amusing as the movie is it has a plot that sprawls forward in a rather ungainly fashion, and it goes on for too long. - Owen Gleiberman, Variety
Smart and steamy screwball fun. - Leslie Felperin, Hollywood Reporter
The comedy is a deliriously entertaining star vehicle for actor Glen Powell. - Ben Croll, TheWrap
“Hit Man,” Linklater’s latest film, falls into the fun-with-a-heart (and brain) category. It’s got a lot going for it. For one thing, there’s Linklater’s deft touch, particularly when juggling comedy and romance (with a little crime drama thrown in). 4/5 - Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic
A smartly written, sublimely comedic, and sexy human-scale relationship story with a touch of just enough suspense and hints of criminality to prove that its title is not a complete misnomer. 4/5 - Cary Darling, Houston Chronicle
In the hands of a lesser director, Hit Man would surely have felt rather thin and disposable. But Linklater is a pro, and he manages to make the film’s fripperies feel borderline profound. 4/5 - Xan Brooks, Guardian
An intelligent comedy that contains plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and references Kant and Nietzsche, it is also a thriller that is darker than it first appears. - Jo-Ann Titmarsh, London Evening Standard
Hit Man trips along on great writing, Linklater’s witty, light-touch direction and a rich sense of place, but what makes it especially pleasurable is Powell and Arjona’s naturally steamy rapport. 4/5 - Robbie Collin, Daily Telegraph (UK)
... An effervescent comedy from Richard Linklater that simultaneously snubs its nose at the entire genre while easily nabbing the honour of most purely entertaining film to grace the Lido so far. 4/5 - Kevin Maher, Times (UK)
Another, crueller writer-director would have pivoted to scenes of bloody violence, but Linklater prefers to ponder the question of whether you can will yourself into becoming a different person. 4/5 - Nicholas Barber, BBC.com
A sorta-true story about an average guy who finds himself caught in a web of crime and deception, Hit Man is a cute and clever (sometimes overbearingly so) showcase for Powell’s magnetic charm. - Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair
The police scenes are just light enough to be funny, the screwball sequences are just dark enough to keep you on the edge of your seat, and Powell... is obviously elated to be handling such twisty material. - Shirley Li, The Atlantic
This genial comedy/noir is a genuine crowdpleaser – funny, sexy, clever and confident in building a low-key humour which hits the target over and over again. - Fionnuala Halligan, Screen International
It’s a genuinely riotous time at the cinema and concrete proof Powell is perhaps our brightest hope when it comes to keeping the notion of the movie star alive. - Hannah Strong, Little White Lies
Hit Man is hot and hilarious, a winning combination amplified by a story that gets knottier at every turn. - Nick Schager, The Daily Beast
Powell’s ability to power through some dull material on charm alone only reaffirms the credibility of his stardom, and the film’s general lack of ambition keeps things from going awry whenever a joke doesn’t land. Aim small, miss small. B- - David Ehrlich, indieWire
I’s just fun to watch good old-fashioned comedy in which love, danger, and happy endings are all part of a damn fine evening at the movies. - Alissa Wilkinson, Vox
With Richard Linklater’s Hitman, the charismatic Glen Powell has been offered a plum opportunity to shape his image into something more complicated and often poignant. 3/4 - Zach Lewis, Slant Magazine
[A] light-and-lively comedy. - Jordan Hoffman, The Messenger
Comfortably Linklater’s best movie since Boyhood, Hit Man stands alongside School of Rock for big laughs and good vibes – albeit with a darker streak that slowly kicks in. 4/5 - Philip De Semlyen, Time Out
Powell and Linklater would have done better to take Johnson’s story as a launching point and then spun off into their far more complicated version of his life without literally tethering the movie to a real person. - Alonso Duralde, The Film Verdict
Linklater has long had a gift with playful humor, and he nails the tone here without turning “Hit Man” into the slapstick it could have become. - Brian Tallerico, RogerEbert.com
A comedy/thriller that’s in equal parts charming, nerve-wracking, and ethically challenging. - Glenn Kenny, RogerEbert.com
Every interesting aspect of the true story and the imagined story are smoothed out. - Drew Gregory, Autostraddle
The smoldering, wily, wild-but-true Hit Man returns Linklater to his loquacious take on romance, with a man using his gift of gab to shrug off himself. - Charles Bramesco, Inside Hook
A witty, relaxed, and cheerfully fictionalized comedy-caper-romance; in the bargain there’s some light philosophical meditations on the impermanence of personality. 4/4 - Ty Burr, Ty Burr's Watch List
It’s as if Linklater is playing posthumous wingman for his subject, giving him the rom-com-slick Hollywood ending he never got in life. - Keith Uhlich, (All (Parentheses))
SYNOPSIS:
Oscar-nominated director Richard Linklater’s sunlit neo-noir stars Glen Powell as strait-laced professor Gary Johnson, who moonlights as a fake hit man for the New Orleans Police Department. Preternaturally gifted at inhabiting different guises and personalities to catch hapless people hoping to bump off their enemies, Gary descends into morally dubious territory when he finds himself attracted to one of those potential criminals, a beautiful young woman named Madison (Adria Arjona). As Madison falls for one of Gary’s hit man personas — the mysteriously sexy Ron — their steamy affair sets off a chain reaction of play acting, deception, and escalating stakes. Co-written by Linklater and Powell and inspired by an unbelievable true story, Hit Man is a cleverly existential comedy about identity.
CAST:

• Glen Powell as Gary Johnson
• Adria Arjona as Maddy Masters
• Austin Amelio as Jasper
• Retta as Claudette

DIRECTED BY: Richard Linklater
SCREENPLAY BY: Richard Linklater, Glen Powell
BASED ON THE TEXAS MONTHLY ARTICLE BY: Skip Hollandsworth
PRODUCED BY: Mike Blizzard, Richard Linklater, Glen Powell, Jason Bateman, Michael Costigan
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Stuart Ford, Zach Garrett, Miguel A. Palos Jr., Shivani Rawat, Julie Goldstein, Vicky Patel, Steve Barnett, Alan Powell, John Sloss, Scott Brown, Megan Creydt
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: Shane F. Kelly
PRODUCTION DESIGNER: Bruce Curtis
EDITED BY: Sandra Adair
COSTUME DESIGNER: Juliana Hoffpauir
MUSIC BY: Graham Reynolds
MUSIC SUPERVISORS: Randall Poster, Meghan Currier
CASTING BY: Vicky Boone
RUNTIME: 115 Minutes
RELEASE DATE: May 24, 2024 (Limited Theatrical in US; Wide Theatrical in Canada) / June 7 (Netflix)

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

I’m gonna try to make this as simple as possible. Basically I’ve been dealing with this woman since 2019 and at first I thought she was sweet, spiritual, and innocent, boyyyy was I wrong.. as time went on I started to see the real her. She’s very manipulative, a pathological liar, narcissist, and she has cluster B border line personality disorder. The night we met she fed me a bunch of lies which I uncovered overtime for example she told me the first night we met that she had been raped the year prior while she was in school(which I later found out was not true whatsoever. Months down the line she would even talk about exs that were “abusive” towards her which I later also found out wasn’t true. Fast forward to February of 2020 she ended up pregnant with our first child and a couple months into the pregnancy she just decided she’s not gonna deal with me anymore, so I ended up dating a woman I’ve known since middle school. She found out about this and next thing I know the sheriffs are serving me a restraining order accusing me of rape!!! When we showed up for court she immediately dropped the order before we even could talk to the judge. Fast forward to when my child was born in December of 2020 she texts me that she just had the baby and I asked if I could come up there and she said “no” and as time goes on she start’s blatantly keeping my child from me I didn’t meet my first born until February of 2021, and that’s when she tried to reconcile whatever situationship we had and would go on to apologize for the accusations saying her family foster her to do that so that I won’t be able to be in my child’s life which of course was a lie that was her decision. As time goes on the girl I was dating passed away and I was distraught so my baby mother comes around and I ended up coming up on money and decided to get us an apartment with our child two months into staying there I had a seizure while sleeping and instead of staying there to help she takes my child and leaves and proceeded to text my mom a picture of me in bed having the seizure and even tells my mom I was hitting her while having a seizure …. She blocked me again after that and a month later comes back around againnnn I guess basically to just have sex with me and then blocks me again and keeps me from my child, and at that point she was pregnant with my second child. I didn’t see my oldest for 6-7 months I had moved on to a nice relationship with a wonderful woman by that time and my second child was born, and that’s when I decided to take this stuff to court and the judge reprimanded her for isolating my kids from me and a custody order was placed for them to be with me every other weekend. During the custody court date she tried telling the judge I was abusive and all that nonsense and the judge seen right through it and didn’t pay it any attention, so two months after that she starts reaching out more and trying to have normal conversations and I would go along with it like a idiot and she wanted to hook up again and we did a few times, in which my girlfriend found out and we broke up and then weeks after that my baby moms ghost me again, still following the order tho. A month later my girlfriend and I got back on good terms and she notices and tries to get me to sabotage my relationship again! It doesn’t really work and I came to find out she would tell her family I was abusing her and a bunch of other ridiculous lies. This time CPS gets involved and investigates me for DV, which didn’t work. Now let’s fast forward to two years later, my babymom keeps coming in and out of my life(I don’t know why I let her honestly) she thinks about leaving to the military and I took the kids while she tries to go to the recruiting camp or whatever to see if she can enlist which she can’t because apparently she’s been committed by her mother a few times.. I stopped dealing with her for a while until some months back, she calls herself apologizing for everything she’s done to me and we start hanging out again but at this point I no longer am in love with her I wanted to go be with the woman I was still in love with that she thought she Sabotaged, and when I confessed this to her and that I can’t deal with how much she lies and plays these mental games and before I try to go home she tells me she’s gonna kill herself when I go home and I had her committed at her own request, she stayed for about a week and a half. Gets out and was put on meds and therapy which she stopped using after a couple of months. Me and the girl I’m in love with are still seeing each other and me and my babymoms stopped dealing with each other yet again. I get a knock on the door about a month or two later with getting served another restraining order falsely accusing me of abuse yet again I didn’t fight it cuz I’m really tired of her at this point. We started hanging out just taking the boys to the park and stuff like that just to try to bond with our kids as a family despite everything… she starts wanting to get intimate and I actually didn’t want to this time and then she starts telling me a bunch of lies about how she hasn’t been with anybody and a whole bunch of non sense that I know is false, and I snapped on her and called her out on all of it, I went wrong in the conversation and threw her phone back at her but it wasn’t in a aggressive way it hits her on the eye and I apologized and everything and I still say I don’t wanna be intimate with her and wanna be with the same woman that I’m in love with still, and then she begins to start that “I wanna kill myself” bullshit again except this time I don’t commit her cuz I realize she just tries to get pity from me and everybody else however she can. The next day she texts and asks for a bag she left at my house I told her I’d leave it on the porch for her. When she pulls up me and my girlfriend and her son are outside playing, out of nowhere her uncles jumps out her car and attacks me while my kids are watching from her car and my girlfriend’s son was right there in front of all this he then runs back to her car and they pull off quickly. The phone left her eye a lil black when I threw it at her and she even admitted that to my brother through text and to me in text that it was the phone, but typical crazy girl fashion she even texts my girlfriend after her and her uncle left a picture of her eye and says “you better leave him alone before this happens to you” she reported the incident to police weeks later but no charges were filed, CPS reached out to me yet again and I explain to them what happened over the phone and they didn’t seem to adamant about opening up a case. After the attack from her uncle I go to the courts and filed for motion of contempt for not following the custody arrangement on a few occasions, one of being that she had her u cake attack me with my kids present and one of the requirements on the order is to not let the other parent be harmed in any way in front of the children which the judge signed off on and we have court later today for. So yesterday she reaches out after it’s been almost two months since that whole attack from her uncle saying how she misses me and she wants to get the restraining order dropped, and she wants to sleep with me, and see me, and all that. And I actually let her come meet up with me at the mall just to kind of see where her headspace is. Long story short came to find out she was dating some guy and I told him all about her in which he agreed that she lies about every single thing and it’s almost impossible to believe a word out her mouth. this girl has some serious issues and I really want full custody of my boys because I’m scared for their safety being with her as she’s really unstable and flat out crazy, I know hiring an attorney would be the easiest route and me and my family are willing to go in on one but it’s so expensive that if I can do it without an attorney I would like that, would the judge wnat to hear about any of this at this custody violation hearing? Or should I open another case for that separately? I did mention to CPS when they asked me if I had any concerns about my kids being with her I didn’t really want to say too much because I was going to court anyway but I did tell them she smokes marijuana often and drinks very often. I know I should’ve just told them about her mental health problems right then and there but I was still kinda in shock they called me in the first place. Now most of this stuff is documented in texts and pictures, what would you do in this situation? Like what’s the best way of going about fighting her for full custody?

I am a 35 years old woman and I have been passing kidney stones almost every year since the age of 19. I was obese when I started getting them and I was told that my weight could be a contributing factor. I also happen to have a rare genetic condition that messes with my joints and it was another reason for me to lose weight. I managed to lose 115 lbs in 2020 and I am glad to report that I have been able to keep all the weight off. I am now relatively thin (117 lbs for 5ft7), and while my mobility improved dramatically, I keep getting these damn kidney stones on the regular. The latest one had me rush to the ER this week-end and it was one of the most painful ones I've had. Luckily it was "only" 5mm and didn't require surgery. It was so hard to deal with the pain that I am contemplating losing even more weight to see if it could make a difference. Has anyone here been able to notice that once you get to a certain weight, you just don't get them anymore ? I am doing everything I should, drink water, reduced my intake of diet pop, low oxalate diet, lemon juice, every damn thing. I am at loss when considering what my next step should be, and even more weight loss seems like the only other option I could try. What do you think ?

Asking for height in a dating app but not asking weight is sexist af.
Let’s be honest, no man really cares about hight but most women actually do. That’s life. I’m not upset. But for dating apps to allow you to put in your hight or a hight preference yet not allow a weight preference? Yeah. Guys give a shit about weight. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t like it? I know I’m stealing this but tell a woman she looks like lizzo and see how upset she gets.
Listen, I’m not saying I want a 115 pound woman. But I am saying I should be able to filter by why women I can shoulder press. Because if she’s sitting on my face and I need to breath I gotta be able to move that weight! lol.
But seriously. Like just a 200lb or less filter would be nice. (Yes I can strict shoulder press that. If you have to be short you better be strong.)

Kaemyn Farleigh is writing her first book series but struggles with names. Given the descriptions of her book and characters, help Kaemyn figure out the most fitting names for her characters.
-- Premise: In a world where humans and the faery tale creatures theyve often been told to fear live together, a half-vampire detective must rely on her connections to the occults around her to stop a serial killer before they reignite the race war between humans and occult creatures.
-- Main character is a woman of colour whose mother is was a very powerful vampire heiress that forsaked her throne to marry her father. The oldest of three, the MC is naturally responsible and has a very strong intuition. She is in her late twenties and has a style and swagger similar to Wesley Snipes in the "Blade" series. If she ever got the chance to cast a movie of hee book, she would cast Georgina Campbell for her MC.
-- Main character's partner is a male full-blooded vampire. Though he is technically a middle class vampire, he likes the finer things in life like AB- blood and Baroque-style architecture/design. He has dark hair, dark eyes, weara glasses, and dresses very properly. She thinks hell be German or French and that Michael Fassbender, who plays young Magneto in the X-Men movies would play him.
-- The first victim, a blonde female college student in her early 20s with short hair and watery blue eyes. She was studying mathematics and statisics before she was killed. She was the only child of her mother and the youngest of her father. Described as naïve and book smart, she loved alternative rock music, action and horror movies, hiking with her best friend, and going to the pier where her body was found.
-- The second victim, a Japanese immigrant who moonlighted at a bar mainly frequented by giants and ogres. She was in night school, and had a young daughter named Ayrena who was being raised by her parents the night of her murder. The girl has long hair dyed orange, large black eyes, and typically wore sparkly, theatrical make-up. She is described as being bold, nurturing, and blunt by those that knew her.
-- Ogre who is like a father to the second victim. He is understanding and forthcoming with information with the MC a out the death and the whereabouts of him and all his employees. Kaemyn is modeling him after Michael Clarke Duncan and Bernie Mac.
-- The third victim, a young freckled brunette who worked as a preschool teacher. She had an unpaid dept to the King of the Fae. Despite her debt, she was seen as a nice person who was a talented athlete [at rugby] good with kids, though mischievous and a bit of a kleptomaniac. She and her boyfriend, Branden, were set to get married in a few months.
-- The King of the Fae, who is a tall, skinny, ghostly white creature with large cerulean wings and blood red eyes. He has long black fingernails and a Scandinavian accent, though most Scandinavian fae arent vitriolic like him so the MC suspects the accent is fake [and perhaps even his name; Kaemyn is undecided but is open to names for both scenarios] and hes really Siberian. He is elusive yet charming and confident that he can talk his way out of anything.
-- Brother of the King of the Fae, who is a minor character that is having an affair with the third victim. Hes subservient to his brother, though hes not a bad person despite being born into the life of crime. He helps the MC gather intel on the Fae because he wants to know who hurt his slain lover
-- In a twist, Kaemyn wants the culprit to be a gnome who initially was introduced as a low life who commits petty crimes and would sell people out for a penny if he could. She has no idea of anything else, except that the character has the same personality as DJ Qualls im most of his early movies.

I’ve been out of the closet as a lesbian for about 3 and half years now. I came out my senior year of highschool and I never had that much experience with dating. In fact I never dated anyone growing up. I didn’t start dating until my freshman year, so I’m somewhat new to dating as well. Recently, I’ve met a really sweet girl and she hasn’t been out for that long and has only had relationships with men. I didn’t really see this as a problem until I told my mom I really connected with her. My mom told me to be careful because she could still be figuring herself out. I previously only dated older women because of this reason (I’m 20F the oldest I’ve dated was a 37F) but I realized that some women are very creepy and me and this girl really enjoy each other. I’m just worried that I’m if things get physical she might not like me due to the fact she’s never been with a woman before. Also, the way she talks about men is VER negative. Which I understand ALOT of men are just weird but I don’t think the entire male species is bad. I just don’t want to fall for a potential a straight woman… Again 😂

I am not really sure where to start or why I am writing this. I just need to get everything out...
Long...
Me (31) and my STBXH (32) have been married for 11 years and together 15 years. We have 3 elementary school kids.
He had his first affair 3 months after I had our last child. This lasted 3 years before I found out. We tried to work it out but he kept lying and hiding things. It took a year before he told me the "whole" truth. From a drinking problem while he was alone with the kids to bring his affair partner over to the house while I worked and the kids slept. He went so far as to make a fake document claiming he could not get a passport due to back child support to avoid going on a cruise with her. Claiming he was in a mental institution for a bit as a reason he didn't talk to her at times. None of this true. It was very hard to trust him as he refused to do anything I asked to fix the trust. Yet I was made to be the bad guy and him the victim. A lot went down with his parents blaming me for his affair. Them threatening to sue us for grandparent rights. They moved to another state and barely saw the kids when they lived 5 minutes away. Also threatened to sue for a loan their son had with them that I was unaware of. Falsely accusing me of child abuse because i didn't say hi to them in the grocery store. They full admitted to this being the reason. Lots of bullying from them so I cut them off and asked that when he has contact with them he would be open about their discussion as he admitted to lying about me to them.
At the beginning of the year I thought we were getting back on track he made me homemade chocolates and got me flowers for valentine's day. I still had some trust issues and I was afraid of breaking up the family and my kids coming from a broken home. But… That next weekend his new affair partner's baby daddy showed up at our home to confront him and make sure I knew. My daughter (5) witnessed some this before I could pull her into another room. Thankfully the other man left soon after. I asked my STBXH to leave. He said let me pack a bag and that was it. He left and went to pick up his affair partner. They ran off that night taking $900 out of our joint bank account as that is all the ATM would allow. They had hit a couple. I put a stop to that by transferring everything to my mother's account till I could make a new one. They have both gotten a 2 bedroom apartment together. She has 2 kids (3F&9M) 50/50. Week on week off.
A week after we had a written agreement that he signed about support and parenting time. He would send $3100 a month and see the kids everyother weekend supervised. Now I did find out that his new girlfriend had ran off with her kids before disappearing for a month, so in fear of this and that her ex is claiming abuse from her I asked for supervised visits. I do believe that STBXH drinking problem was getting worse. STBXH told me not to get a lawyer we could do this cheap and peacefully. Load of BS I know now. He went back on the agreement a week later. Got a lawyer and claimed he was forced to sign that agreement. This whole time I was filling the paperwork out alone and asking him for help with the divorce. Nothing. He then said he had been talking to a lawyer. So I went out and put down a $3500 retainer on one as well.
For march he sent $1500 in child support and April $900. No court orders.
I had to start paying for child care as we use to work opposite shifts to avoid this but I changed my schedule to be home for the kids. He refused to pay half like he promised.
I have to admit I was a mess. Complete blindsided. This woman he ran off with is my oldest son’s best friend's mom. Lots of soccer games together and lots of sleepovers with her son at my house. STBXH never wanted our son at their house because he said it wasn't safe. I didn't know them that well. He doesn't care about the effect this has had on our oldest son and his best friend. He didn't want to tell our son but I had to force him. They are in the same class and see each other every day. The other boy already knew and our son (9) did not need to hear about how dad ran off with best friend's mom from another 9 year old. My son doesn't want to talk about it so I don't force him. I did sign all my kids up for therapy just to give them someone neutral to talk to.
I also found out he hid a gun in the house without me knowing. I had asked him after his first affair to remove all of them after he admitted to depression and drinking problem.
Anyway, our agreement stated 3 day notice before visitation. He didn't do this several times. I made an exception several times. He can talk to the kids every night on the phone he got them. He only talks to oldest (9) average 2 minutes most nights. The youngest (5F&6M) hate talking on the phone and don't really seem to care to talk to him. This past month has been soccer season and he hasn't been to a single game or practice except the last one after I refused to let him take the kids until there are court orders. He hasn't seen them in a month. He is claiming parent alienation. He even missed his last visitation no call no show. A month of not seeing them or asking to see them and then demanded to take them. He doesn't have beds for them. He Tlthinks it is ok for my daughter (5) to share a room with her son(9). My oldest also has problems sleeping and would not do good sharing a room with 4 other kids.
He has brought the police to my house twice now. Once when he picked up most of his things back in February. He was afraid of the other dad showing up and possibly getting beat up. His own fault. This last time he brought the police to the house to pick the kids up and I knew he was coming so we left for my parents before he got there. I knew he would try something just not this. Told him he could come to the kids games the next day and then to the park. I am not comfortable with him taking physical custody of the kids and having no way to get them back. The police can do nothing and i know he is only trying to bully and intimidated me in to giving the kids up. Again he has no court orders so they can do nothing. I saw him on the ring camera telling them that I am lying to my lawyer. I'm not I have sent my lawyer a lot of proof of all my claims.
My lawyer has filed and sent in Temporary Orders and we are just waiting on a court date. No time line. I just don't know what to do. I don't trust him. It has been one lie after another. Mind games and blindsiding and playing victim. I just want all this to be over. The stress and always looking over my shoulder. I have had enough of this.

TLDR; My daughter (12) is lobbying hard to go to boarding school. Not sure if it's just a phase and unsure what to do.
Hi all! Reviving my reddit for the first time in years to ask this. Apologies for the long read!
My daughter (12) has recently taken an intense interest in boarding school. She researches it all the time, constantly presents us with different options, and in general has been pretty set on the "fact" that she is GOING to boarding school for 8th grade (she's currently finishing up 6th). Of course, if we do decide to send her, that means that we would need to start visiting/applying/all the things fairly soon. Thankfully by the time this all happened the application deadlines for this year had mostly passed, which I hoped would dissuade her, but she is just as set on going for next year.
I'm not sure what to do. She currently goes to a very good school (top 20 private school in the US) where she has gone since Pre-K, where she is thriving, and where she has a whole community of adults and classmates who have known her since she was tiny and are invested in her success. I absolutely love her school and feel strongly that she will get just as good an education there as she would at any of the boarding schools she is researching. I have talked to her school, and they encouraged me not to completely shut her down so that she doesn't end up resenting me, and said that if she does decide to go and totally hates it, that there is always a spot waiting for her back at her current place. So at least as of now it seems we wouldn't be losing her spot there – but of course things could change, it's a very selective school, and it's always a risk.
I've asked her ad nauseam why she wants to go, and told her that if she wants us to agree to let her she needs to present us with reasons so that we can consider it. So far the reasons she has given have ranged from random extracurriculars that they have more of there (which I have offered to just sign her up for versions of here), wanting to "be independent", and all the boarding school marketing tropes of being "immersed in learning" and the like. The reasons have not been consistent and have largely seemed like BS to me. Part of me thinks that it's really just the being independent thing, and wanting to feel like she's in college early, and part of me worries that there's some reason that she's not telling us. I have offered to look at other day schools in our area, but she hasn't seemed super interested in that.
For some context, her home life has always been stable, but it's been complicated. I grew up in a very abusive household and I basically raised my siblings from when they were 10 and 12 (they're early 20s now) so when she was little she largely operated as their little sibling, but other than them she's our oldest. My late wife and I had four children, and then my wife died when my daughter was 5, which she took really really hard. I remarried a few years ago to a woman who had a daughter a little younger than my youngest, and we also had another child together. So my daughter is now the oldest of 6 who are actively in our house, and my wife is pregnant with our 7th (and last). She has her own room and her own bathroom, but her younger siblings who are school-aged all go to her school, which is not large, and we're very involved in the school as well.
She's close with her siblings and has never said anything to this effect, but part of me wonders if she just feels smothered and is trying to get away from that? Or if she feels like there are too many siblings there, and she wants to go define her own identity? She does go to therapy (and has since her mom died), but she hasn't given any more reasons there than she has to us to my knowledge.
I don't want her to be unhappy, but I also really don't want to send my not-even-a-high-schooler off to boarding school when I'm not confident that it's the right decision for her socially, emotionally, or academically.
Help?

I would like to preface this by saying I have no issue whatsoever with anybody being any sexuality. However, I am a straight woman (20) looking to date straight men. I started seeing the guy (24) about two months ago. I only told my mom and dad at first because I just don’t like sharing my business especially when things are new because I feel like they always get messed up or almost jinxed. I have two older brothers and they like to bully me as brothers do. My brothers are only two and four years older than me and we have a similar friend group and a lot of mutuals. One of my best friends is dating one of my brothers best friends and we have a close circle. Somehow somewhere my brother found out who I was talking to and I guess told my other brother and asked if he knew anything about him. My brother told him that he’s gay. My mom ended up pulling me aside at Easter dinner and asking me if he was gay. She said I don’t care. I’m just curious I didn’t know if you were into that. My mom and I are very close so I know she was just being herself. It was an Easter dinner, and I ended up crying and leaving because I thought my brothers were just starting some BS to be mean to me. So whatever I keep seeing this guy and things are good I’ve met his entire family and we hang out a couple times a week. Obviously, we’ve started sleeping together and talking about likes and dislikes. he seems to be super fascinated with my butt hole like… super. Didn’t really think too much of it because I don’t know I just didn’t? The sex is great. But there’s been a couple things that have been setting me off. The first thing was when he told me to close my eyes when we were having sex and got up. I didn’t know what he was gonna do and he came back and had a vibrator. He just started using it and I low-key was like yikes like who the fuck have you use that on? I told my friends and they told me that was super bad so I low-key downplayed it but I ended up asking him and he told me he had to use them with a couple other people and it rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously he cleaned them and stuff. He’s a super wealthy OCD type guy. Another thing is that literally all of the fucking time he will kind of go MIA and just text me in the morning like oh I’m sorry I fell asleep or sorry I got super drunk last night and knocked out like I’m talking all of the time. He is a wall street dude like I know he’s busy and really does work hard. Anyway I’ve brought it up like twice and he downplays it and says it’s nothing he’s just a simple guy and a phone works both ways blah blah blah. I’ve expressed that he set the precedent of saying good night and sometimes send him messages at like 5 PM and he just doesn’t answer until the next day. It’s weird. Another thing is the amount of effort I put in to go see him, but he never puts in to come see me. Every time we hang out, it’s really great we do stuff and I’ve met his whole circle but then I go home and it’s so strange. I’ll put some of our messages just to kind of give the vibe. A couple weeks ago he told me it would be hot to fuck me while getting fucked by a guy when I asked him if he was bisexual. He said he’s not gay or bi but that would be hot. he never mentioned anything about being with a guy. When he said that though it did kind of confuse me because I would assume if he’s going to fuck a guy he would at least be bi? Wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Most guys I know that are straight would not fuck a guy. Fast forward to this past weekend I went to a party with my friends and Brother. I asked this kid at this party “do you know *****?” And the first thing he said was yeah he got fucked by the high school quarterback, and a bunch of other dudes. My heart sank. Like I just said his name and that was the first thing he mentioned. I was literally like what… And he said when you guys fuck does he mainly play with your ass? And I literally didn’t know what to say because yeah. Like it all just makes sense now I really think he’s gay. Either way I just don’t think I can keep seeing him anymore. I can’t have doubts that the guy I am interested in is literally gay. I got out of a seriously bad relationship a while ago and I’m finally healed from it and the first guy I start talking to ends up possibly being gay? His family is like Lowkey homophobic. I got that vibe at least. They’re like super rich conservative old money. I don’t know what to do, oh and to confirm it by the way I ended up telling my brother this and he said yeah we literally told you that on Easter. my oldest brother apparently went on a double date with him when they were a little younger with their gfs at the time and he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend to date a guy. Not sure how I didn’t fucking know any of this. Trust me I feel stupid but now I’m kind of in a pickle and don’t really know what to do. It’s not that I care if he’s gay I would still be his friend I just don’t want to be dating and sleeping with somebody who’s literally interested in men. He’s obviously not going to admit it if I just ask him. Feel like he would’ve mentioned it by now if he wasn’t going to lie about it. He pretty much already has lied about it like multiple times.

TLDR; My daughter (12) is lobbying hard to go to boarding school. Not sure if it's just a phase and unsure what to do.
Hi all! Reviving my reddit for the first time in years to ask this. Apologies for the long read!
My daughter (12) has recently taken an intense interest in boarding school. She researches it all the time, constantly presents us with different options, and in general has been pretty set on the "fact" that she is GOING to boarding school for 8th grade (she's currently finishing up 6th). Of course, if we do decide to send her, that means that we would need to start visiting/applying/all the things fairly soon. Thankfully by the time this all happened the application deadlines for this year had mostly passed, which I hoped would dissuade her, but she is just as set on going for next year.
I'm not sure what to do. She currently goes to a very good school (top 20 private school in the US) where she has gone since Pre-K, where she is thriving, and where she has a whole community of adults and classmates who have known her since she was tiny and are invested in her success. I absolutely love her school and feel strongly that she will get just as good an education there as she would at any of the boarding schools she is researching. I have talked to her school, and they encouraged me not to completely shut her down so that she doesn't end up resenting me, and said that if she does decide to go and totally hates it, that there is always a spot waiting for her back at her current place. So at least as of now it seems we wouldn't be losing her spot there – but of course things could change, it's a very selective school, and it's always a risk.
I've asked her ad nauseam why she wants to go, and told her that if she wants us to agree to let her she needs to present us with reasons so that we can consider it. So far the reasons she has given have ranged from random extracurriculars that they have more of there (which I have offered to just sign her up for versions of here), wanting to "be independent", and all the boarding school marketing tropes of being "immersed in learning" and the like. The reasons have not been consistent and have largely seemed like BS to me. Part of me thinks that it's really just the being independent thing, and wanting to feel like she's in college early, and part of me worries that there's some reason that she's not telling us. I have offered to look at other day schools in our area, but she hasn't seemed super interested in that.
For some context, her home life has always been stable, but it's been complicated. I grew up in a very abusive household and I basically raised my siblings from when they were 10 and 12 (they're early 20s now) so when she was little she largely operated as their little sibling, but other than them she's our oldest. My late wife and I had four children, and then my wife died when my daughter was 5, which she took really really hard. I remarried a few years ago to a woman who had a daughter a little younger than my youngest, and we also had another child together. So my daughter is now the oldest of 6 who are actively in our house, and my wife is pregnant with our 7th (and last). She has her own room and her own bathroom, but her younger siblings who are school-aged all go to her school, which is not large, and we're very involved in the school as well.
She's close with her siblings and has never said anything to this effect, but part of me wonders if she just feels smothered and is trying to get away from that? Or if she feels like there are too many siblings there, and she wants to go define her own identity? She does go to therapy (and has since her mom died), but she hasn't given any more reasons there than she has to us to my knowledge.
I don't want her to be unhappy, but I also really don't want to send my not-even-a-high-schooler off to boarding school when I'm not confident that it's the right decision for her socially, emotionally, or academically.
Help?

*Edited to correct typo
Tl;dr: if you have a partner, especially an AMAB partner, who has dated, pursued, or even just been generally very open to dating far younger women, and you are uncomfortable with it/disappointed with this but not to the point of immediately calling it quits, how do you deal with this and how does it impact your attraction/relationship? If your partner’s willingness to date women far younger makes you feel icky and makes you feel less attracted to partner, how are you handling that? Coping, de-escalating with them, leaving?
So here’s my situation, with some of its nuances:
My (37 cis f) serious, entangled partner (39 recently transfem nonbinary) of 5 years is comfortable dating/fucking women far younger than them (13+ years), is actively intending to pursue a 25 year old right now, and I’m struggling with feeling pretty grossed out and disappointed about it, while also feeling like *I* am failing at being sex positive or respecting young women’s autonomy by being uncomfortable in the first place.
Partner also is into women their own age and even a few years older, and I don’t see this as some predatory or exclusive pattern, but that doesn’t make it suddenly feel fine to me.
Over 5 years, there have been 4 people who’ve hit a chord with me feeling too young for this partner. The gaps have been 13, 17, 13 and 14 years. The youngest was 20 at the time, the oldest/current is 25.
The first one (they were 34 and 21 years old, respectively) was formative to my mistrust of partner, and our ongoing conflict about age gaps. They met and had sex at a festival I didn’t attend, then lightly dated/mostly had booty calls. At some point not too long after they had me meet her, I brought up massive discomfort around the connection because I quickly perceived her as spectacularly immature - she honestly felt like a high schooler to me, which was extremely jarring - and it felt like a really inappropriate match. Plus my partner was this established, home owning professional adult, living as a cis man at the time, and this young woman was unstable, in a shitty and possibly abusive relationship with an older person, and marginally employed with very little experience. The power differential was huge, though partner insisted that they were mindful of it (I believe that they intended to be mindful, but I don’t feel confident in their ability to perceive where power dynamics actually show up). After I brought up my concerns, partner eventually had a conversation with her about the age gap. Their connection then cooled; partner however still feels like it was fine and they should have been good to keep going with her if she had reached out again. TBH I know that partner held back a bit because of me and I get the feeling they felt some resentment about doing so. I still feel really squicked out by all this. I am also frustrated that when we’ve revisited the situation, partner recalls it differently than I do, and it feels like their recollection paints things rosier and rosier, with partner increasingly looking like a white knight or something with every retelling/discussion.
For a while, this didn't come up much, or in pretty limited circumstance, but the issue has reared its head again.
Currently, there’s someone partner announced to me the intent to pursue. We both made out and cuddled with a woman at a party several weeks ago where most people were in their 30s and 40s; we found out she was 25 later that night. Again, for me this makes me want to back off as I don’t feel great about the gap even though it’s a little smaller for me. Partner, however, recently announced to me their intentions to pursue something with her since they felt they’d had heavy flirtation and good physical chemistry.
Even though she’s solidly in her mid 20s and I feel slightly less distressed about this particular match, at least on the age front… because partner has felt judged by me in the past for the times they’ve been interested in much younger women, they insisted we revisit this topic. So it has been blown open again and it’s creating an enormous amount of friction.
Honestly what’s creating the most friction is that in spite of my best (though imperfect) efforts to be calm in discussing this and to hold space for best intentions, partner has seemed really defensive to me and that’s been so frustrating. For example, when I said that I think they have a bias towards younger women, they immediately started listing all the older women they’d slept with or dated (all of whom were 8 years older or less, except one woman from years ago who I don’t remember them ever having mentioned to me) instead of acknowledging that this is true, which they eventually did when I asked them to answer me directly about it. A number of times when I think they were trying to understand my own position on this matter more clearly, their inquiry came off a lot more like a bunch of “gotcha” questions about my own dating since I have a girlfriend who is 5 years younger than me. None of these questions really “got” me, but it felt like deflection though partner insists it wasn’t.
When I examine my discomfort with these age gaps, I can identify three sources of difficulty.

1. First, I feel like I must to preemptively acknowledge that my own feelings about aging as a woman and becoming less societally and sexually visible could contribute to this issue, particularly as that may impact my own feelings of jealousy. That being said, I’ve been in this rodeo for a long time, and feel pretty confident about my ability to process and work through the jealousy piece specifically, and frankly, I’ve blossomed in my 30s so I feel pretty damn desired and powerful myself. But I don’t want to pretend this couldn’t have an impact.
2. Second, there’s the individual power differential stuff. Partner has far more resources at their disposal compared to someone who is that much younger. I believe their intentions are good and that they would never purposefully abuse, exploit, or harm someone else. However, partner has exhibited instances of not understanding that a younger person, for instance, might just assume that older partner is authoritative or correct on some sexual, relational, or other point by virtue of being older. Partner did not intuit or understand that a very young woman might feel like she owed them sex because they bought fancy dinner, or whatever. These are both real things that came up in the past that surprised them. Ultimately, it’s hard not to perceive this as partner being willing to take risks that have the chance of weighing more heavily on people less powerful than themself, which doesn’t feel good to me.
3. Finally, there’s a more collectivist feminist angle. Just the fact that our society imposes an unhealthy amount of sexual attention onto young women, in a way that I believe is really unhealthy for girls and women of *all* ages. To a large extent, women 16-25 don’t get to choose whether or not they are heavily sexualized based on their age, and are often sexualized by people who are not their peers (I remember being sexualized by older men as a teen, and learning to also see my own sex appeal as a paramount feature of my self and value, even at a time when I was not receiving much romantic attention from peers). Furthermore, I and many others believe that it’s the hypervisibility (and oft-sexualized critique, whether implicit or explicit) of young women, which is anchored in that sexualization, that leads to a tremendous amount of self-consciousness, warped self-worth, obsessive behaviors, anxiety, overwhelm, etc. And frankly, I think the world would be better if older people (especially older men) just didn’t perpetuate this by pursuing or participating in sexual relationships with much younger women so readily; I personally think it’s better to have an approach of, “she’s great, but I’m going to nurture attaction toward my peers instead.” It disappoints me that partner doesn’t see value in restraint in this regard.

There's also the feature that this has become *extra* difficult to discuss because I want to take great care not to unintentionally invalidate my partner's gender experience and journey. They were AMAB and cis-identifying for 37 years, came to identify as nonbinary two years ago, and have gradually come to embracing themself as transfemme and are taking a lot of gender transition steps (recently starting HRT, undergoing a strong shift toward feminine aesthetics, etc). It's been hard won and I want to be in their corner all the way. But it also means that talking about things related to, say, male/masculine privilege, or socialization, or themes of female experience, can be touchy and carry the risk of coming off as me saying that my partner is essentially just a man which is not only untrue, but also not an extra burden I want them to have to deal with.
Partner has expressed that they felt very unattractive and undesirable as a young person, and as a result places a high degree of value on the validation and pleasure received from sex. I see that this may also contribute to having a hard time closing doors to feeling desired by someone else, even if that someone else might not be a good or appropriate match.
Unfortunately, though, with #2 & #3 together, I find that my own normally robust sexual attraction to my partner is negatively impacted since I don’t feel values aligned, and that just feels… way less hot to me. And with our sex life impacted (we’ve had far less sex than normal during this recent conflict period), some facet of #1 seems more challenging because I feel less confident in my connection with my partner and more afraid of it falling apart or shrinking. I’m also anxious to explicitly tell my partner that their openness to/interest in much younger women makes them less attractive to me, because I have anticipate that they are likely to self-limit as a result and feel resentment about it later.
I feel stuck in a cycle and it’s hard to see a win here. Help?!

My NPs are going on vacation next week and don’t have me coming back to work until Tuesday June 4th. They are paying me for this vacation but not the next one because I didn’t know to ask for guaranteed hours when I signed on with them years ago. Anyway, that Wednesday the 5th she had me scheduled for THIRTEEN hours because she’s going to be out of town for business and her oldest has a swim meet that night. Then they want me back at work at 8 am the next day. I tried to talk to her about it today and she was like “well we don’t have you working that Monday” and I stood my ground and said the latest I could work that day was 7pm. That’s still a very very long day. We are not allowed to watch movies or do a lot with technology. The girls are 9 and 12. She acted like I was being ridiculous. This woman always schedules me for coverage because she is never sure what her husband is doing. She says that all the time. She doesn’t know what he will feel like doing or what her schedule is so I become the secondary default. I desperately want a new job but I don’t want to nanny anymore at this point.
I have a standing extra babysitting gig on Wednesday nights and the mom pays super well. My main family knows this but doesn’t respect it unless it works for her schedule (which isn’t really respect).
Also…Today one of my NKs told me she feels like I’m more of her mom than her mom is because mom is always so busy. She’s 12 and I know that preteen girls tend to struggle with their moms but it was hard to hear. I would die inside if my child told someone else they felt like the nanny acted more like their mom.
Anyway, the kids are sweet but I am so over these parents. I am trying feverishly to find something else.

I recently moved to a quaint, quiet little cottage on an old farm in the south west of England last year, and it had been my dream to someday build it back up to be the farm it once was, ever since I laid eyes on it. After weeks of research and negotiation, I managed to firmly put my price on the property and was accepted; being 29 with two small children meant it was a very daunting task but luckily the resistance wasn't too gritting, and they accepted my very reasonable offer. After packing all of our belongs and moving in within a month, I decided to take my boys (6 and 3) on a little adventure around the farm; thick forest paved what would've been our 'backyard', cows, sheep, pigs in near by fields filled the silence of the thicket with gentle coos and sniffles, and the boys couldn't soak it up enough. My oldest is the shy, much prefer to observe than get stuck in type, whereas my youngest has the thirst for adventure that even Evel Knievel would admire, so it meant the adventuring was more of making sure the youngest didn't get caught up trying to ride a cow, and less actually letting both boys feel the hay between their toes for the first time. After an hour of said 'exploration', we headed in and as I set up the first fire, the boys played with their new house warming gifts from grandmother. Whilst I was wrestling with the clearly never cleaned before chimney, I heard a large crashing sound come from upstairs, after glancing to make sure both boys were out of harms way, I told them to sit tight as I went to investigate.
As I reached the top of the old staircase, I was greeted by the strangest animal I have ever witnessed. It's eyes so dark, no light reflected off of them, it's meer presence chilling my bones to their marrow, it's legs all manageabled into a pile, at which it still stood nearly 5feet tall from the ground. Sitting on a pile of cloth that was blood soaked, and grinning it's half broken teeth a me, all I could muster was a 'good boy' from my lips. This wolf hybrid had clearly been nesting here for a few nights, and when we had opened the door to come in it was startled and tried to flee, only to be caught on an old bear trap that had been placed under the windowsill from long ago. I could see the blood glistening off the rusted teeth of the trap, and how more than half of both back legs had been entangled in it. I froze and didn't know which way to flee. Do I try to chuck an old, heavy blanket over it's face like they do to horses when ushering them into the horse box to disoriente it into submission, do I flee to my boys and leave it where it lays and pray that by the time the authorities come to rescue us it doesn't do a Cujo on our asses? Do I try to slip our dogs slip leash onto it to secure its position? I was at a loss, whichever option I chose had it's downfall, but I had to act fast. I decided to slowly walk backwards, closing the door and use myself as a human blockade, whilst shouting for my oldest to fetch my phone. I rang grandmother and insisted she leave the rest of the boxes of books and come retrieve the boys as fast as she could. I told them to wait in the toilet downstairs and close the door behind them, only opening to either me or grandmother uttering our family password. I tried the local authorities 3 times before someone answered, and even after hearing my frantic plees to come sort this monster out, and officer huffed down the phone in a gritty, disinterested voice,
"Welcome to farm land lady, this is what happens. I guess I'll come take a look at the mangey mutt."
I couldn't believe it, an officer being so completely disinterested in a wild wolf residing in my soon-to-be bedroom, potentially bleeding out, whilst I had two small children downstairs.
After an hour of waiting and grandmother coming to rescue the children, and overweight, middle aged officer with salt and paper beard came cursing his way through my front door.
"For fuck sake, where's this mutt then? How hard can it be to shoot a damn dog in the fucking head these days."
"This damn dog is upstairs, can't you hear it howling officer?" I snapped back.
After waltzing his way through my front room, kicking over my children toys and shuffling himself up my stairs, almost out of breath already, he told me to 'step aside city girl.' I stepped away and held my breath, knowing that what he was about to see wasn't any normal dog, I parted my lips to warn him of the scene he was about to step into when suddenly I saw him run into the room, almost crying, falling to his knees.
"DALLAS! MY FUCKING BABY! WHAT HAS THIS BITCH DONE TO YOU?!"
Dalas. The deputies fucking dog. Of course. But how could this monster be a dog?! I grew up around alsatians and this was no fucking dog.
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO CAPTURE HER LIKE THIS?! SHES AN ANGEL AND YOUVE FUCKED HER LEGS UP! HOW DARE YOU! ILL HAVE YOU SENT DOWN FOR THIS!" He screamed, hurling his arms around this beast and kissing it's face, trying to pry the bear trap with his own two hands away from the managed flesh and bone that was his Dalla's' legs.
"Excuse me? How the HELL was I meant to know that thing was a dog, let alone YOUR dog?! I've just moved in. I heard a crash and came to investigate and there it was, snarling at me."
"You'd snarl too if some fucking cunt trapped you in a bear trap! MY POOR BABY!"
I stood there, astonished. I saw him reach in his holster and immediately slammed the door shut. I screamed to him I was unarmed and that shooting me wouldn't solve any issues.
"I'm getting my knife you fucking idiot. I need to get out of this. Here girl it's okay, daddy's here. Daddy's going to help."
After what felt like an eternity of him rustling, crying, shouting and howling alongside Dallas' screeches, he finally kicks the door away and stands there, holding his blood drenched hound in his arms.
"Get in the fucking car." He demands, storming past me, nearly knocking me to the floor. I adhere to his command and follow him to his patrol car parked bumper to bumper with my truck.
"You're paying for this. You're paying for whatever Alks says the bill is."
Apparently Ashley Alkaine was the resident vet in the nearest town, and of course, his very own cousin. The officer proceeded to push me into the car and threw the carcass of the wolfdog ontop of me, and proceeded to speed his way into town to where the vets resided. This was no dog, my legs were half dead by the way we reached our destination, and the sheer amount of blood dripping from this beasts mouth and hind was enough for 3 dogs to bleed out by now, at least. Without the car even fully coming to a hault, the officer jumped out of his door and came clambering to mine to retrieve his prized pet, half punching me in the side of the head whilst doing so.
I solemnly followed, pondering my conviction for the heinse crime of moving into my new home and inadvertently hurting an animal by simply entering a room, I was greeted by the foulest smelling human I'd ever encountered. This vet was covered head to toe in excrement, I almost couldn't believe my watering eyes. This apparently didn't phase the officer because he forced his way past her and daintily laid the animal on the metallic table.
"You have to save her. You fucking have to."
The vet took off her coat and donned a new, white overall coat, which in hindsight made little to no difference regarding the sheer amount of shit hanging off of her, but the officer acknowledged the gesture with a nod.
"Jesus Christ....a bear trap? This big? Poor Dallas. Why would you do this to such a poor, defensesless creature?!"
Both parties staring into my soul as if I had a target on it, and their eyes winning the bull's-eye shot.
"I...I..." I stammered. "I just moved in. I didn't even get to explore upstairs yet when I heard a crash. Maybe she was asleep up there and fell on the trap?"
"BULL. FUCKING. SHIT." The officer shouted as he started stomping towards me. I backed into the wall, causing some equipment to fall to the ground with an ear shattering cry. Hearing this, Dallas jumped from the table onto the floor and tried to run away, but both back legs being incapacitated meant they slid from underneath her, causing her to flail on the floor, ricocheting blood all over the tiny, porcaline office.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I was shoved from the office and the door forcefully slammed behind me by both the vet and the officer. I ask the receptionist if I should stay, or go, as I didn't want to make matters worse but also didn't want to be rude if I was indeed, the one paying for bill.
"Don't worry about it, go home m'love. He gets like this everytime she wonders off for a few days. She usually comes back beaten and bruised from fighting wild animals in the thicket, and he has a temper tantrum all the time about it. Go get some rest and welcome your new home, newbie.' The sweet, frail receptionist said with kind eyes, and a gentle hand on my arm. Conflicted wasn't even the word to describe how the last hour and a half of my day had been, but I reluctantly thanked her and set back home.
Grandmother picked me up from outside the vets and took me and the boys both back to hers for ice-cream and cuddles, I just couldn't face spending our first night in the blood soaked room, not just yet anyway. The morning came and we geared up to tackle the sepsis filled floorboards with marigolds and bleach, whilst the boys enjoyed their first day back at school after the weekend. After a few hours of scrubbing the floors, and disposing of 3 more beartraps scattered throughout my new bedroom, we headed into town to grab some food. That's when I saw the town littered with posters of Dallas, with the words "FIND MY BABY, PLEASE. CONTACT ×××××× IF FOUND." strewn across every shop window and every lamppost. I asked grandmother if I should make an appearance at the police station to see how Dallas faired at the vets, but was met with a shaking head and a pat on my shoulder.
"Best not dear, leave it a few days. He knows where you live if he wants to give you the bill."
I gulped down my milkshake and agreed to give it space to breath for the both of us.
That night, after getting home with the boys and helping them redecorate their room with Spiderman decals and Pokémon plushies, we heard another crash, but this time coming from the front door.
I crept down the stairs and peaked through the bannister to find the officer stood in my open doorway, with an axe in one hand, and Dallas hobbling, still spitting blood from her fangs beside him.
"Leave this place. NOW." He swang the axe so it landed beside Dallas, stucking firmly into the naked floor boards, whilst staring into the deepest depths of me. "You're not the woman I married. GET OUT!"