These are the things I learned about residency that I wish I could tell myself as a July intern on wards service. I know many of y’all here will disagree with a few, but this is how I see it. There’s definitely quite a few missing, so y’all fill in what I forgot.

• You earned the right to be here. You’ve proven you can do it so don’t doubt yourself.
• You’re not expected to know everything on day 1. Your job is to show up with a good attitude and ready to work hard.
• Listen to the nurses. Some of these critical care nurses, especially. Ask for their input and don’t brush them off as mere nurses.
• Write things down. Print a list and make check boxes by each patient for what needs to get done that day. There are interns who forget things and interns who write things down.
• The first thing you need to learn is to tell sick from not sick, and that can be tricky at times. Later on you refine that until you see a whole spectrum of how sick a patient is.
• Don’t waste too much time pre-rounding. Brief pertinent exam, ask patient about changes in symptoms, but the highest yield is asking the nurses.
• Call consults before noon if you can. It’s a courtesy to the consultant/their team plus they’re far more likely to be seen that day, avoiding a delay in workup for the patient.
• Your note doesn’t have to be an essay. Keep things simple and don’t get bogged down in eloquent explanations.
• However, document your reasoning well. Especially in tough cases, drop a paragraph about why you’re doing what you’re doing and the patient agrees.
• Auto text or whatever your EMR uses. Make an arsenal of these. Use them for everything. If you have a kind of case you see a lot, template out a note so you make sure you’re documenting all the important stuff in an efficient manner.
• Be cool to your co-interns. Y’all are about to spend the next few years together. Don’t leave them in a lurch or punt to others all the time.
• Call the seniofellow/attending, especially at first. Even if they give you attitude, it’s ultimately their responsibility and they should know that.
• Try to update families daily if you can, especially for your ICU folks.
• Never, ever lie. Even once will destroy your credibility.
• Have a good attitude in a way that refuses to be bullied - don’t take that shit.
• Read all your own images. Then when rads drops a report, read that and see if you can find what they’re describing for every notes finding. It’ll make you a better doctor.
• Get to your new city as early as possible. Do things like car inspection, dentist appointment, vet appointment, etc. before July kicks off.
• Our profession has a high rate of substance abuse. Do what that what you will.
• Sit down with your family and SO and let them know what to expect and try to explain how intense this job is. When there’s a difference between expectation and reality, you have problems. Either way, it’ll strain your relationships.
• Because of this, be deliberate on spending time with your SO/friends/family even if you’re dead tired.
• Wear comfortable shoes
• Scour the hospital for the best restroom. Sometimes having a proper relaxed shit can turn a day around.
• Get to know your chiefs. Go to them with problems earlier rather than later.
• Use every minute of PTO
• Step outside the hospital for a few minute a day when you can. See the sunshine.
• Make friends with the cafeteria staff and they’ll hook you up to no end.
• Make friends with the transporters and techs - they will save you.
• Appreciate the hell out of what PT/OT/SLP do.
• Know how to tell a patient no.
• Pharmacy is your friend - they know things
• If something is emergent, keep calling to follow up. If your crashing patient needs abx, it’s not like some doctor video game where you put the order in STAT and everyone goes rushing. Call down and check the status, let them know it’s needed now.
• Don’t order everything STAT
• Calling people in general gets so much more done and avoids so many headaches.
• You’re going to lose your first patient. Remember how you feel, and make sure you never forget it. You’ll need it later.
• Hang out outside of work, invite the nurses as well.
• Election ‘24 is coming up in November so work is a great place to talk candidly about politics and try to change others’ beliefs /s
• If you’re struggling, reach out to someone.
• Try to get outside on your days off
• It’s not uncommon to end up on an SSRI
• Take the stairs places as much as you can. Cardio and a nice lower body workout.
• Answer pages as they come in. Anything STAT call back the moment you see it. Aim to get back to everyone within 5 minutes if you can.
• Day to night nurse shift change. Wait 30-45 minutes, then go around and talk to the nurse for all your patients. Let them get report and see if they have questions. Explain the plan, agree on when to call you, make sure orders all look good and make sense. We even used to bring candy from the physicians lounge to pass out for this.
• Put the diet order in
• Keep your presentations short and to the point unless someone wants them longer. Know the details, but you don’t have to recite them. You don’t have to say all the exam findings that were normal and not related to the patient’s disease
• Always be prepared to dodge a punch when near a geriatric patient
• Even a 5-10 minute phone call with your loved ones on a frequent basis can do wonders
• Some people are just assholes and you can’t take things personally
• Other people are mad at something else and want to take it out on you.
• Be cool to the med students
• Get good at delivering bad news
• Celebrate delivering good news
• Fuck prior authorizations man
• When calling a consult, have a specific clinical question you need help answering. Know the patient well. Keep the call centered around what you need from them but be ready to provide details if needed. “Dr. X wants you on board” is resident code for “I know it’s bullshit but my attending made me call.”
• Delirium and sundowning are real af. The trick is to get them home.
• Benzos aren’t just “settle down” drugs. It’s like a whisky shot through the vein in the sense that it can also disinhibit people and make wildness worse
• Get to know 1 thing about each patient other than what’s in their chart. What job did they have? What’s their favorite team? Do they have pets? You’ll remember them better when the list is large and it can make the job more rewarding
• If the nurse is worried ALWAYS go to bedside
• If you feel the urge to get a tattoo, do it
• Read everyone’s note each day on your patients
• Case managers and social workers are heroes. Get to know them and work together to get patients proper dispo
• Don’t wear your damn shoes in the call room bed
• Sit down in patient rooms if you can. It shows you’re listening, it’s less intimidating for them, and they’ll tell you more.
• Talk louder to older patients
• Sternal rub like you mean it
• Sit done one day, caffeinate, and do all those stupid compliance modules in a single bolus.
• Never make the same mistake twice
• If things don’t add up, your math is wrong
• Some patients don’t care about their health and won’t look after it after all you do. That’s just the gig.
• If something adverse for residents goes into place on a “temporary” basis, it never goes back the other way. Fight for your rights.
• You’re not crazy - the patient always tells the attending something completely different or remembers some important detail. We get it.
• Have a good comfort show to stream when you come home half dead.
• Trust but verify (that’s actually a Russian proverb Reagan borrowed when speaking about the USSR)
• Remember to love it more than you hate it. Find a way to make it fun. They say it’s the best time you never want to have again. You get to save and improve human lives. There’s no greater calling in the world than that.

After watching a video essay about Close Enough it got me thinking about what could be if the show came back.
I related to Regular Show and Close Enough A LOT. Especially because, age wise, I was right there with the characters. Early-Mid 30s is a lot of feeling like you're getting the hang of it while still wondering if you really know anything at all.
I think that it would be cool if a new (True Final) season went like this:
Josh has been hard at work on anew concept of his show he thinks will hit hard and impact minds. It means a lot to him but the closer he gets the more he feels himself drifting away from his family and friends. (As an artist AND as a 30 something year old person trying to make it in the world, I think we all face this at some point). Maybe Josh and Emily separate for a few episodes as a consequence because Josh thinks its the right thing to do, feeling like a failure of a husband and father, but at least he had his art, his work.
At first feeling like now he has all the time in the world to really make his work great, but before long, depression starts kicking his ass. (and I'm not talking mordecai break up depression, I'm talking about that deep deep depression). After finding him passed out in an alley, Alex tries to help him cure his drunk woes.....with drugs. (a totally alex/that menace friend with good intentions - thing to do)
An acid fever dream where he meets his characters helps him reprioritize his 2 am in the pm concept into something more. And even though this might be a regular show that only gets a few seasons, he doesnt want to be a regular husband or a regular dad. He wanted to be more. He finds his way back home to emily and candice, only to find they were always supportive of him and just wanted him not to forget them.
The show ends with Josh tightly embracing his family on the couch as they watch the premiere of Regular Show.

Hey everyone so I needed help with something because I feel I'm still new to things. So I met this girl from the North Center of Mexico thanks to a friend that I have known for 5 years. At first I had no trust because I don't really trust the internet at all to be honest but I got to know her and I really like this girl, never met her in person by the way. So I'm 20 as of now and she's 19 at the moment and we will be in LDR for 10 months in a couple of days. I tried going to visit her in December (we would be 5 months in ldr) and tried talking to my parents about it but to no surprise they said no. Then I asked reddit back then what I could do then they told me to wait longer because it's been a short amount of time together and that I should just wait for her to come here because Mexico is dangerous in which I understand, don't get me wrong but I'm also aware that I won't get kill or kidnapped by the cartel by just stepping a foot in the country. Like, there are thousands of people traveling to the country and they are fine, I'm just one and no, I'm not American, I'm Cuban but white skin you know. So that means as everyone knows, Hispanic parents are very strict and close minded. She also can't come yet because she has to renew her passport (in which she will soon) and then try to apply for a visa. Well, after all of that context, I had to kind of give up on going until and now I wanted to give it a go now that my parents have seen me talking to her for over 9 months (btw my mother has met her in video call so she could "trust her" a little bit), well it just happened that today I had them both in the house and I wanted to tell them that I wanted to go in July. Trying telling her that I have been talking to her as they know for almost 10 months and that I wish to visit and that I feel ready to go visit her. Well....guess then....they said no. I tried relieving every issue they had but still, I tried to be comprehensive and still after all of that, I failed. I feel that it's impossible at this point. My friend told me that I told them the nice way and that now I should just go in which I'm like...idk, but I feel like it's not the right thing to do because I understand they are worried, that they are the ones to bring me to life and all that but....idk. This is why I wanted feedback from you guys. What should I really do? Actually go? Wait for her? idk but I just don't want to give up with this girl. I know and made sure she didn't have bad intentions and that she really is a nice, lovely, that she really cares. She doesn't know about this because we both got upset in December and almost I gave up in the whole relationship for thinking that we had to meet right away. And so it's just her thinking about many ways of going like getting the visa, studying abroad, or go to another country in which we can see that her passports allows her. I would appreciate all the feedback.
Edit: her visa could take longer we think if (most likely) Trump gets elected as president. And if I have the opportunity to go then I feel like I should be able to.

​

Disclaimer: I have switched back to the main subreddit, so aside from three, maybe four of you, you’re probably missing out on some context. If you’d like to be all caught up, you can comb through the previous episodes on my profile.
Votes:
Emma - 2
Katie - 1
Props to u/Proofracer for coming up with plot points
At the campfire ceremony, Chris attempts to build suspense by reminding the campers about the safety of a marshmallow, but Heather insists he get on with it, so the moment is cut short. Chris calls on Shawn, Zoey and Max before tossing them all a marshmallow. He then gives Owen and Heather one each, leaving Emma and Katie. Both Emma and Heather shoot angry looks at Katie, making her feel a tad worried, but Chris gives her the last marshmallow and deems Emma eliminated, causing her to have an outburst at Heather.
Emma: I knew I couldn’t trust you! You’re a backstabbing snake!
Heather: Please, as if I’d betray you this early. If I had any say, you’d still be here for a few more weeks.
Emma: Then, how?
Katie: It’s not just me who’d been fed up with how mean you’ve become. We don’t want a second Heather on this team. No offense.
Heather: Offense taken.
As Emma walks the dock of shame and the rest of the Screaming Gophers disperse, Chris turns to the camera to say his outro.
Chris: Will Max finally do something actually evil? How much longer can Heather keep her alliance afloat? And what will Damien do once he finds out about Bunny’s replacement? Find out next time, on Total Drama Island!
In-world votes:
Emma - Katie, Owen, Max, Shawn
Katie - Heather, Zoey, Emma
Basic Straining
The episode opens with Duncan using his knife to carve a skull into the wall of the Bass cabin when Axel exits the cabin. She scoffs at him, but before she can leave, Duncan attempts to apologize for how he’s treated her in the past. Axel stops to think for a second, but she sees through Duncan’s lie and leaves anyway.
Confessional:
Duncan: Of course I didn’t mean what I said to Axel, but Trent and Sammy are too loyal to one another, and Damien’s essentially attached himself to Dawn. Sadly this means that Axel is the only person I have a chance to ally with, so I need to get back on her good side.
Meanwhile at the Gophers cabin, Katie is sitting dejectedly on the front steps when Owen comes over to cheer her up.
Owen: Are you still bummed out about poisoning me? It’s okay, I know it was an accident.
Katie: That’s only half the problem. Emma got so mad at me for it, and now apparently I brought a cursed item to the team.
Owen: You mean your tiki souvenir? Are you sure it’s cursed?
Katie: Apparently it’s from Boney Island, so I’d say it’s pretty cursed.
Owen: Well, you don’t have to get rid of it, if that’s what you’re worried about. It may be cursed, but it’s still yours. I say you should keep it to remember this show by.
Katie: Thanks Big-O.
Owen: You know what? Let's prove Emma wrong. If you try your best this time, I’m sure you’d do way better at the challenge than you think!
Just then, the loudspeakers turn on, but instead of Chris, it’s Chef Hatchet who orders the campers to meet him at the docks for their next challenge. At the docks, Chef is dressed in a military uniform and starts barking orders at the campers about fixing their forms, with the one exception being Axel, whose form he deems “surprisingly average”. Chef then goes over today’s challenge. The teams will go through Chef’s grueling boot camp and drop out one by one until the last person remaining wins immunity for their team. Heather asks Chef what happened to Chris, but he ignores it and starts going over further rules, like how everyone will have to address him as Master Chief, and that no one eats or sleeps unless he says so.
Confessional:
Axel: I was never trained in the military, but I’m adept in most fields of work Master Chief could go over, so this will be a breeze.
For the first part of the boot camp, each team must carry a canoe, and will continue to do so until someone drops out and rings a bell on the dock. Owen and Trent each make a remark about how easy the challenge sounds, but by noon, everyone is starting to feel the heat.
Chris and Chef are sitting on top of the canoes while taunting the campers about missing lunch. This causes Owen to think about quitting, but Max catches on and tells him not to.
The Bass are still holding up strong, so Duncan tries to talk to Axel again. He says that he knows she hates him, but they’re both stuck between the two couples and need each other. This causes Axel to angrily reply that she’d take her chances with the others over him, leaving Duncan beginning to get annoyed. However, Trent overhears the conversation and begins to look worried.
As night rolls through, the campers are all tired, especially Owen, who has fallen asleep with his arms still holding onto the canoe. Chef is recalling a story from his military days, and Heather asks him what war he was in, causing him to shout at her. Heather then turns to Shawn and tries to strike up a conversation with him.
Heather: Hey Zombie Boy, how do you feel about joining my alliance?
Shawn: Wait what? You’re kidding, right?
Heather: You and Emma were friends, yes?
Shawn: Sure, but that doesn’t mean I trust you. What happened to getting payback on me for locking you in the freezer?
Heather: You could trust me if you were in my alliance. With Emma gone, I’m missing a member of the alliance, and if you join, you won’t be in as bad a spot as you are now.
Shawn: Oh, and what is that supposed to mean?
Heather: Think about it. I didn’t vote Emma off, she got herself eliminated. If the team knew you worked with her, maybe they’d vote you out too. Especially since you’re such a big threat without any allies. With me, I could protect you, plus I won’t plot against you anymore.
Shawn: You were plotting against me?
Heather: That’s besides the point. Just think about it.
Later, Chef has finished bragging about his line of duty just in time for Max to decide he isn’t going to stand in one spot anymore. Much to his teammate’s dismay, he walks down the dock and rings the bell, thus allowing the contestants to drop their canoes. Chef insults Max through his megaphone before ordering everyone else to go to the mess hall to eat dinner, getting Owen excited.
In the cafeteria, Chef announces that everyone will get only ten minutes to eat before he starts night training, which gains him a lot of complaints. Damien asks him where the food is, and Chef gestures to a row of trash cans filled with leftover garbage from breakfast, which only causes more complaining. Owen, however, doesn’t discriminate against the disgusting food and eats some anyway. Chris then invites Chef to eat at the craft services tent, leaving the teams to themselves.
Trent meets with Sammy and tells her about what he heard between Duncan and Axel. He says that Duncan has a point and that since nobody really likes Duncan, Axel would be the deciding vote between them and Dawn and Damien. Hearing this, Sammy comes up with an idea, and suggests winning Axel over ahead of time so that she’s with them. Trent likes the idea, so Sammy goes over to talk with Axel. They have a friendly conversation, and Sammy offers Axel the least disgusting food she can find in the trash, to which Axel declines. Sammy then returns to Trent to talk about other ways to win Axel over.
Damien was watching Sammy’s conversation with Axel, and realises what she and Trent were trying to do, so he walks over to Dawn to talk with her.
Damien: I hate to say this, but we’re going to have to start getting extra votes against Trent and Sammy
Dawn: But why? Wouldn’t we just vote Duncan?
Damien: No, that’s not- I mean, after Duncan’s gone, all that’s left of the Killer Bass is us, them, and Axel. And I think they know that too, because they’re trying to bond with her.
Dawn: Yes, Axel is stuck in between the four of us. I’m not very worried though. I’m good friends with her.
Damien: I know, but we should start getting closer so that if need be, Axel will vote with us instead of them.
Damien then digs through the trash and finds a carrot that is half eaten, but otherwise clean. He decides to save it for Bunny, before noticing that Dawn looks unsure of something. He asks her what’s wrong and she brushes it off as having missed Bunny while it was gone. Damien is happy with this answer and tells Dawn that he knew she and Bunny would get along well, but this only makes her feel worse.
Confessional:
Dawn: Bunny left Damien, but I still don’t know why Duncan found a replacement. Duncan is not to be trusted, but I don’t know how to break the news to Damien that Bunny’s really gone.
We then cut to the next part of the boot camp, which is to repeat Chef’s suspiciously Triller-esque dance routine. The dancing goes on for a while until it’s interrupted when Duncan shuts off the music. Chef angrily asks him what he’s doing so Duncan reminds him about how once someone drops out the training ends. Chef says that they’ll be done when he says they’re done, before forcing Duncan to do push-ups.
Next up, write a three hundred word essay about how much you love Chef, being eliminated if you fall asleep or fail to reach the minimum word count. Owen and Katie are discussing ways to pad out their essays while cracking jokes to make each other laugh. Seeing the two of them bonding, Shawn turns back to his own essay looking a little less confident.
Duncan takes a break from doing the challenge to try and persuade Axel to join him again. She snaps at him and tells him to get lost, but Duncan mentions Shawn, which gets her attention.
Duncan: Let’s face it, everybody knows you like Shawn.
Axel: So? If you want to mock me about it, expect a fight!
Duncan: No, I’m saying that you two are pathetic. Neither one of you ever makes a move! Watching you two is like watching a car crash in slow motion.
Axel: (Sarcastically) Thanks for the advice, Dr. Love.
Duncan: You need a wingman, badly. So it’s going to be me.
Axel: Why would I ever listen to you?
Duncan: Because if you and Shawn are ever going to be a thing, you need me.
Axel: Fine. But if you pull anything you’ll leave this island in a cast.
Duncan gets Axel to close the deal with a handshake before returning back to working on the challenge. Later, Chef returns to pick up the essays, and eliminates both Trent and Zoey for falling asleep. As for everyone else, their essays meet the requirement, although Duncan’s is just one sentence with 289 verys in between. On his way out of the cafeteria, Chef slips in a puddle of Owen’s drool from him being half asleep, and Duncan offers to clean him off. This causes Chef to yell at him again, and the rest of the Bass stop Duncan from saying anything more, lest he get them all in trouble.
The next evening, the training continues, as Chef forces the campers to run an obstacle course until everyone can do it in less than a minute. As they climb a wooden wall, Axel asks Duncan for advice and he tells her she should get Shawn’s attention by showing off her survival skills in the course. Axel takes the advice and waits for Shawn to reach the top of the wall before jumping off and doing acrobatic tricks in midair. This catches Shawn’s eye, who shows off some tricks of his own in return.
The obstacle course causes trouble for some of the other campers, as Owen gets stuck while jumping through a tire, getting him eliminated. On top of that, Damien falls flat on his face when climbing the wall. He pukes up some mud, and is coughing and sputtering, so Chef eliminates him too and sends him to the infirmary.
After going through a montage of campers falling into the mud or otherwise failing, we see Katie struggle to clear a rope swing. She remembers what Owen told her and tries it again, only to clear it easily. She cheers for herself before continuing to run the course.
While crawling through the mud, Sammy reaches a deep spot and starts sinking. Duncan passes while mocking her, only to come across an angry Chef. He gives Duncan more pushups, but Duncan just thanks Chef before kissing him on the nose. This sends Chef off the edge and he announces that Duncan will spend the rest of the night in solitary confinement in the boathouse. This causes everyone to gasp, but Duncan asks how bad it could be, before we cut to him sitting in the boathouse regretting that comment.
In the cafeteria, the contestants remaining in the boot camp are being fed rock hard gruel. Dawn sits down next to Axel, intending to win her over, but Axel is the one to talk first. She explains to Dawn how Duncan is working as a wingman for her and Shawn, and while Dawn is happy for Axel, she reminds her about how Duncan is untrustworthy. She talks about how he replaced Bunny when it left Damien, and that she thinks he has a secret agenda behind everything. Axel agrees with Dawn but leaves to get more advice from Duncan anyway.
Heather finds the gruel Chef has served her to be well past unappetizing, and chooses to instead try to persuade Shawn again. She points out how close Owen, Katie and Max have become, and that since she still has Zoey, they’ll go after him first. After careful consideration, Shawn caves and agrees to work with her. But he specifies that while he will do what’s required for her to protect him, he will not associate himself as a member of her alliance. Despite this, Heather is still pleased by the news, and leaves to get some sleep.
In the boathouse, Axel finds Duncan sweeping the floors to pass the time.
Duncan: Did you get General Crazy angry at you too?
Axel: No, I’m here so you can make good on our deal. What’s some more advice you have?
Duncan: Really? You can’t be so desperate that you need my help for every single thing.
Axel: Then what do you want me to do then? This was entirely your idea!
Duncan: Just ask Shawn out. Maybe set up a date or something. But if you just sit there and don’t talk to him I promise you that nothing good will happen. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to mess with Chef.
Duncan then leaves despite Chef’s orders and heads towards the craft services tent, leaving Axel behind wondering what she could do.
In the Gophers cabin, Katie visits Owen, who congratulates her on doing so well in the boot camp. Katie is ecstatic at her performance and thanks him for giving her the pep talk. Max, while also happy for Katie, insists that “Evil has better things to do than make friends” as he works on something secret in his bunk bed. Owen tells Katie that he thinks she can win the entire challenge, but to this Katie is still a bit skeptical.
The remaining Bass return to their cabin to find Trent and Damien playing cards on the front steps, and inside Dawn finds various snacks left in a big pile on her bed. She’s confused how it got there, but is happy to finally find something edible, so she invites everybody on both teams to hang out and eat the food. As the eleven of them dig in, they discuss how insane Chef is for making them do full on combat training, with only Shawn, Axel, and surprisingly Katie enjoying the challenge. Eventually the relaxation is ruined when Chef barges in and orders everyone in the Killer Bass to line up outside. He announces that the food they were dining on was stolen from the craft services tent, and that he was tipped off that it was one of them because the perpetrator left a raw bass in the fridge. Dawn confesses that she found it on her bed, but before she can explain herself Chef automatically eliminates her from the boot camp and confiscates the rest of the food.
Chef starts the last part of the boot camp the next morning, which is to hang upside-down from a tree until only one person is left. The last campers left are Sammy, Duncan and Axel for the Bass, and Shawn, Heather and Katie for the Gophers. Axel confronts Duncan about what he did, and he admits he stole Chris and Chef’s food, left a bass behind as a calling card and dumped the food on the first bed he found. Axel is pissed at him for getting Dawn in trouble with Chef and cuts the deal between them, causing Duncan to tell her that he never really cared.
Confessional:
Duncan: Okay, maybe I went a little too far, but I’ve always found a way to stay in the game. Surely this will be no different, right?
Chef rants about the side effects of being upside down, and as he goes over each one, someone gets it, causing them to fall off the tree. Eventually it’s down to Axel and Katie, with Dawn cheering on Axel while Owen motivates Katie. Axel looks between Dawn and Duncan, and is visibly conflicted, while Katie’s starting to get dizzy. But just as she’s about to fall, Axel jumps off first, meaning the Screaming Gophers win. Katie then falls off the tree before being enveloped in a bear hug by Owen. Chef congratulates Katie, saying he’d go to war with her anytime, but she gets mixed messages from the complement.
Duncan scolds Axel, saying she lost the challenge for them. But she snaps at him in front of everyone.
Axel: You are not fit to be on this island! You essentially threw two challenges, ridiculed me the entire game, and now got Dawn disqualified just because you wanted to prank Chef! So excuse me if I want you out!
Duncan snaps back at her before storming off, and for the first time in a while, Axel looks relieved. Dawn then comes up to her with Damien telling her that she did the right thing. Afterwards, Damien asks Dawn if she only said that to get Axel on their side, gaining an annoyed look from her. Seeing this, he backtracks and says that they should help Axel like real friends, and is relieved when Dawn nods her head in agreement.
Vote off a Killer Bass and come up with any plot points you want to see later.

I’m a Med Rep and I routinely take lunches to Drs offices. Most of the time it’s delivered, but last year I was stuck in The Villages and no one would take the order, so I had to pick it up. To paint the scene, I’m a 55 year old Hispanic Male, dressed in business suit, tie and dress shoes. I let the waitress at Olive Garden know that I’m there and I sit down. This old man (70-75) sits next to me and makes some comment about me being in a suit (nothing mean)… I chuckle and nod politely. With my peripheral vision I notice him looking down. Maybe he’s looking at my shoes (they’re nice!!) 30 seconds later I feel a really sharp pain on my ankle that makes me audibly gasp. This mother fucker HIT ME WITH HIS METAL CANE. He made a point to not hit me with the rubber tip, but with the metal. I looked at him in astonishment AND HE GRINNED. I considered punching him in his face for about 10 long seconds. All I said was “WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!! Everyone in the front foyewaiting area went dead silent. I had to rub my ankle bone to kinda alíviate the pain. He caught me in the perfect spot. His wife jumped up from across the foyer and yanked him to his feet and took him outside. She said nothing to me. The to-go server called my name and I picked up the food and got the fuck outta there. Not one person said a peep and Olive Garden is PACKED for lunch on The Villages every day. I guess since I was the only person under 70 there, they couldn’t be bothered offering a kind word. When I took the food to my car I scanned the parking lot and they were nowhere to be found. Fuck the Villages, and Sun City Center and every other large retirement community. Places suck. Rant over.

Hello. I’m back again, but complaining about a different class now. One I would usually like! Not to be dramatic but I’m in tears. I’m doing my psychology degree. I wasn’t expecting this essay to come back GOOD but I was expecting over 60%. I’ve never gotten a grade so low, 55%. She wrote that the essay was a “this is a fair attempt”. This is the worst semester of my life.
According to her filled out rubric, I should have gotten at least 60% because some are D, some are C and a few are P??? I thought I had a lot of evidence and referencing but that criteria was marked as AN N??!!! I’m definitely the problem but it’s destroying my confidence for sure. I’m so embarrassed.
I REALLY looked through her comments and disagree with a lot of them. She’s unnecessarily harsh about things that don’t matter. Saying that she “expects better planning from a third year student.” I plan my essays to a t, I don’t just start writing but one of her comments was “I encourage you to plan your essays prior to writing.” wtf? Why do you assume that??? Apparently I’m not allowed to fence sit, even though the information required you to BE FAIR IN YOUR ASSESSMENT. I wrote that the Dr did not APPEAR to have the skills to deal with a traumatic brain injury BASED ON HER BEHAVIOUR, but the comment says “what do you mean? Psychologists are trained in cognitive impairment in masters!”. Firstly, how am I meant to know, I haven’t done a masters. And secondly, the case is about the ethics of her conduct- and she DID NOT DEAL WITH THE COGNITIVE IMPAIRMENT APPROPRIATELY SO MY COMMENT IS A CORRECT ASSESSMENT. Whether it’s the fact she is rural or she didn’t pay attention iN hEr mAsTeRs, that’s the truth and I fucking said it.
I’m really angry, embarrassed, and upset. I was confident my WAM wouldn’t lower this semester but I’m really struggling now. I have really no confidence left after this blow. I’m really struggling to finish my essays now because I don’t trust in my ability at all. I don’t like my tutor, I don’t like my classes this semester and I feel stupid for thinking I’m smart enough to do university.
I’m dealing with grief but I didn’t realise it was affecting my focus this much. I’m so anxious about the exams, I’m so anxious about these assessment. This semester is really breaking me down - I’m not good at even ONE of these subjects.

TL;DR: I have way less opportunities for building up ECs than one'd expect, residing in a close-to-vilage town; financially or otherwise. Do I have a chance for studying Biology (most likely PG) abroad (such as the US or UK)?
my_qualifications: ICSE 10th grade, 98.8% Bo5
Starting with what I mean by "situation" in the title, it, as a matter of fact, doesn't symbolize some excruciatingly painful or physically deranging position or anything even close to that; it's something a lot more commonplace (at least from what I've seen in real life): I reside in a pretty small and isolated town and this alone ticks off a lot of boxes for a reduction in chances I'd ever get out of India. What I have gathered over the course of my obviously inadequate research on the Internet that it is pretty inevitable that those who get in have exceptional academics, even out of the stipulated curriculum. - One that I've seen often being mentioned is the AP classes administered by the College Board; a typical applicant takes anywhere between 5 and 20 (!) AP courses and somehow gets a 5 in all of them – the highest score, I presume – all the while acing the exams held in their respective curricula. I was interested, of course, although I was stumped by noticing the testing fee for one AP itself; courses themselves are a whole another thing. - The other option I stumbled upon was Olympiads. Some googling led me to the official websites administering the regional, state, and national level Olympiads in different sciences. They were cool and all, but – as far as I understand – you'd need an educational institution or anything similar to apply for such a thing, which is most likely not possible to do here. I might be incorrect though, and while this is a clear tangent to the original question, I would like to know if I can self-teach myself the kind of skills different Olympiads like IPhO, IMO or IBO (or anything similar that would look fine on my resume) demand, as well as if I can apply for them by my own.
My academics? Just a "class topper" tag multiple times and winning a few very localised competitions. Haha.
Even with exceptional academics, it's only a barebones requisite for actually having a chance. I was acquainted of the fact that people who get in have gone out of their way to do stuff that's very unique - and I believe stuff like this is a differentiator for selecting people. Especially at the top Unis. - The most popular EC were starting / leading clubs or similar. An applicant usually started one on their own due to a lack of such an organised body at their schools for interested people. This is out of my reach, too – where I studied till 10th grade in did have clubs, but they were taken down on account of pandemic and since then the Principal has been hesitant to restart them. No real activity was happening in these clubs, anyway. - The other niche thing I saw was publishing research papers or participating in essay competitions where you formally put forth a unique standpoint about something. I'm once again incapable to do so, as far as I could see: my understanding is that you're supposed to conduct experiments or at least partake in a STEM-based research body that does these experiments, and either unanimously or otherwise publish the findings and conclude certain things. I might be wrong, again, but this is what I've come to know – and I definitely have no opportunities where I live to even start doing anything; more specifically, a bigger problem is that I have no idea what to do at large for getting into stuff like this. - Raising money for a cause? Nope. Nada. Zero possibility. - Starting public awareness camps / hosting conferences related to my major / NGO? Also not possible.
Now I know there are many (a lot many, I presume) cases where someone didn't have stellar ECs on their profile but still got in, which would allow someone to hurl back at me with the following points, in my opinion:

The AOs do not see a huge brag-list of near-perfect grades and out-of-the-world ECs; they only see if what you've done over your high school period is helpful.

That's the most common point I see everywhere. While I do understand what it implies, I honestly don't think I ever had a chance to do so - my school, as it is now inherently deducible, is pretty dogsh*t at providing opportunities for stuff like that. On top of that, the place I live, and the contacts I have with people, have almost no knowledge of what it takes for someone to apply to abroad colleges. Therefore, the long and the short is, the number of notable activities I've undertaken during or before 9th grade is infinitesimally small.

You can try your best to have a very good CGPA in 11th and 12th and partake in international-level exams.

I certainly can ensure the first half of it; the second half? I don't even know where to start - I feel what I've gathered till now is just an innate cloud of tension and presumably erratic bits of information with no continuity.

You can move outside and study in an international board such as IB, A-levels, etc.; for the most part, these have a higher weightage in foreign colleges than ISC or CBSE.

Sadly not possible because those are waaaay outside my affordability.
I think that's a pretty feasible summary of the information I've congregated beginning from the past year up-till now. If there is any mistake or misconception that I might bear, please let me know! And going back to my initial question: Do I still have a chance to open up a whole new pathway to pursue studying abroad? Should I stick with being in India?

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

Hi guys,
I [31m] feel like my partner [25f] is constantly on my case about not doing enough, or not giving enough.
I had a pretty shit start to life which meant that i started off on the backfoot, however I managed to graduate a MSc Computer Science last December and I have been looking for a graduate job ever since. I've had numerous video interviews, but I've been rejected by all except one place that has invited me to an assessment center in June.
About 6 weeks ago I applied for two companies that I really like the look of. One in defence and one in maritime services. Both looked like amazing opportunities and I was lucky enough to be invited to an interview for both. It was nice to finally have companies call me back, you know? Anyway, I had my interviews and prepared for them both as best I could. I felt like the interviews went very well, but unfortunately I got rejected by both companies on the same day last week.
I'll be honest, it broke me. I was really, really upset about it and began to feel completely hopeless, useless and defeated. I worked so hard to get educated, did the best that I could, got very high grades, but it feels like it has all been a waste of time.
I cried like a baby when I got those rejections and felt absolutely broken. My partner supported me through it and said to me "it isn't your fault" and that it's just a shit economy at the moment.
Fast forward to this week and my partner calls me (she's away visiting her parents). It started off fine at first as we were both talking about plans for the future. Basically, the conversation spiralled and she started saying that I'm not doing enough, that's its a males job to provide financially and that I'm not trying hard enough to get us ahead. I showed her this spread sheet I've kept that lists every single job I've applied for and what stage of the application I made it to. There are 128 jobs on that list. I felt so hurt because when I was super upset about my rejections last week, she supported me and told me none if it was my fault. Yet here she is insinuating that it is. I point this apparent hypocrisy out to her, and she says "it's always partially your fault".
I've applied to every single job available in this area and city a couple of hours away. Then she said that I don't work enough currently (I'm a healthcare worker). I remind her that I work 3x 12.5hr shifts per week which is about the limit of which I can handle tbh. I'm wiping ass and coping abuse all day, it isn't easy.
She then rebutted me by saying "what about last year when you were only working 2 shifts per week". Wtf, I was studying a Masters degree so of course I was working less. And during my dissertation I was studying roughly 6-8 hours. In my view, doing a MSc full time during the week and working 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday is commendable, and I was the only student in my cohort who worked as much as I did. Most just lived off their student loan. Yet here I am, being made to feel like I was a lazy pos. I feel like she had absolutely no appreciation for just how hard i worked tbh.
when I asked her "what would you do differently in my shoes?" She was unable to answer. Crickets. I would have expected her to be able to list exactly where she could see room for improvement, but nope. Then she brought up how I don't "contribute enough to the household financially or with chores". She makes this argument from time to time and it infuriates me. I pay more than 50% of our bills and more than 50% for groceries. I effectively bought a car for her to use almost exclusively (every day drives to her uni, or work, or her stables). She has possession of the car around 95% of the time, yet I've been paying atleast 70% of the running costs of it (and boy did the thing need some work over the last 2 years). But she completely disregards that because it doesn't contribute to our standard of living. Whatever the fuck that even means.
So I say to her, what about all the trips I've taken you on? Last year I took her to Australia, I paid for everything. She said "that doesn't count because it was to see your family". I then said how about me taking you to Greece the year before last? Or me taking you to Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Switzerland and Italy on a road trip the year before that?
Do you know what her response was? "You see I don't like when you pay for these holidays because you always end up using them against me". WTF! She literally complained that I don't contribute enough financially! Ugh what is this logic even?
Then she moves on and says I dont do enough chores. I bought this hook line and sinker when we first got together, but I've really stepped up my game in the last two years. I pointed out that I prepare us meals, I vacuum, I do dishes, walk the dogs, dust, put my shit away, keep the mirror clean, you name it. She always has a clean flat to come home to.
But she says "it's not to my standard so I don't consider it done". Wtf? Absolute bs, I pay far closer attention to detail that she does. I do a very thorough job.
Basically, my partner makes absurd criticisms of me that I do not think have any basis in reality. How should I handle this? Because I do love her, but I'm really finding this aspect of her personality very jarring, unfair and difficult to deal with.
Also, sorry for the huge essay. I really needed to vent tbh.

I'm told women want a man who knows what he wants, so here's the whole nine yards. If there is anything here that you are not willing to accept, then don't. You will not change me now or years down the line. Obviously I intend to grow and mature (as one ought to), but I have decided who I am and what I want out of a relationship.
I am looking for a woman that I can make a permanent covenant bond with; I have no interest in flings or "long-term relationships."
I don't intend to come across as bitter or angry with any of this, just clear and up-front. It makes things easier for both of us.
A bit about me:
My faith in Christ is paramount in my life. I would not be where I am without him. In taking interests in various things, I've learned a lot about God's character and design. Each new thing I learn fills me with more worship of him and wonder at his works. It is very important to me that you share this admiration of God.
I have a full-time job that I am very satisfied with, but what I feel truly passionate about is art and storytelling. To be honest, I've hit a bit of a block lately as far as my output. But I've been trying to find my feet so I can make something valuable to share with the world. I think that art and stories are a fundamental part of being human, not just a luxury. So pretty much any kind of art will spark passion in me, be it music, cinema, video games, literature, video essay, sculpture, etc. I could go back and forth for hours on a lot of things. My hope is that you and I will be able to enjoy art together and create some of our own.
I frequently spend time with another gentleman from my Church and we enjoy conversations about personal projects and contemporary issues, along with walks along beaches and park trails. He is a very important friend in my life, and I am lucky to know such a kind soul. Things aren't well with my family, so I really need that kind of presence.
While I rely on my bicycle for transport (no car), it's not a problem for me. I've been riding bikes since I was in elementary school (maybe even before). It would be really nice to ride down some trails with you.
What I expect from you:
-You need to be a follower of Jesus Christ. God needs to be an active part of your life because I intend to raise our children under Biblical values.
-You need hobbies and interests apart from me. I'm fine with helping you find things you like.
-You need to have no mileage.
-You must be humble and respectful. "Boss babe" attitudes are not attractive to me.
-You cannot have any tattoos or piercings.
-No cosmetic products. It's not good for your body and I am attracted women, not makeup. This includes fake nails and fake eyelashes. I don't need you to look "pretty." You character is more important to me.
-Related to the previous, no use of image filters in photos. I do not like the type of people who are vain and vapid enough to feel the need to use filters on their photos.
-Again related to the previous, you need to have a limited social media presence. If you have a business or post something of value (like art, for example), then I have no problem. What I'm talking about is having an Instagram or Facebook account where you make random posts to nobody in particular to "update" the internet on your life or post tons of pictures of yourself online. Basing your self-worth on the comments and likes from strangers on the internet is unhealthy, and I find people's obsessive need to take pictures of themselves very unattractive and vain.
-If we marry, I expect you treat me as the head of the house. There can't be two leaders in a household because one will have to submit to the other.
-I expect you to view marriage as something that you put work into. Marriages are a team effort, so I expect you to be a help meet.
-You need to treat me like a partner, not an adversary. Getting into arguments and nagging me helps neither of us. You must have conflict-resolution skills and a solution mindset.
-You need excellent communication skills. This means understanding yourself, putting your thoughts into words other people can understand, and verbalizing things rather than expecting me to read your thoughts.
-You cannot play games with me. Telling me about other guys to make me jealous or planning dates for specific days to pressure me into committing to you are wicked and manipulative.
-While we are dating, you cannot have a "backup plan." I expect you to not be splitting your attention between me and other men. This includes spending time outside of work with other men (family excluded).
-You must be in shape. Don't be dishonest with yourself about your weight; check your BMI. This includes being underweight, anorexic, and bulimic.
-You cannot have taken any COVID-19 vaccinations from any provider.
-No smoking, drugs, or drunkenness.
-I expect you to completely renounce fast food if we date or marry. We will never feed our children McDonald's.
What you can expect from me:
-While we are dating, I will not be speaking to other women.
-I cannot meet your height, money, or attractiveness expectations. I am simply an average dude. I am critical, abstract, and imaginative in my thinking though.
-I will not ask you to do something that is unreasonable or demeaning. I will only ask of you what I expect from myself. No relationship is going to be 50/50 100% of the time, but I will put forth the effort I am able to. I expect the same out of you.
-I will not raise my hand against you. My hands will be a safe place for you.
-I will be available to listen to your troubles and help you bear through them.
-I will not demean you or humiliate you, whether or not you are in the room.
-I will show leadership in our house and exercise restraint with a mild temper.
-I will cherish you and treat you as my own body.
-I will devote myself to displaying my love for you in a language you understand, even if I am feeling distant from you because of troubles we face. I expect the same from you.
-I will not turn to another woman and betray you.
-I intend to keep every promise that I make with you.
-I will treat our children with patience and kindness, but diligently discipline them and instruct them appropriately.
Please tell me a bit about yourself and what you expect out of a relationship, but be practical and clear. A list of platitudes like "loyal, honest, etc" does not help me understand what you're looking for. Think about what your expectations look like in a tangible, everyday way.

Saturday 18 May 2024
Today in Philosophy of History
Further Elaborations on the Coming Coeval Age
My essay “The Coming Coeval Age” has appeared in Isonomia Quarterly for summer 2024. Last year I contributed an essay to the initial number of the journal. As with my recent paper in the Journal of Big History, “A Complexity Ladder for Big History,” this most recent essay isn’t narrowly about philosophy of history, but there are many philosophy of history themes in it.
The journal’s interest in the theme of isonomia was my point of departure for considering the institutional structure of civilization at the largest conceivable scales. What is isonomia? There is a passage in Book III of Herodotus known as the constitutional debate in which three speakers argue for the best form of government, with these three being monarchy, oligarchy, and democracy. Here is the first of three speakers in Herodotus advocating for isonomia:

“Otanes urged that they should resign the government into the hands of the whole body of the Persians, and his words were as follows: ‘To me it seems best that no single one of us should henceforth be ruler, for that is neither pleasant nor profitable. Ye saw the insolent temper of Cambyses, to what lengths it went, and ye have had experience also of the insolence of the Magian: and how should the rule of one alone be a well-ordered thing, seeing that the monarch may do what he desires without rendering any account of his acts? Even the best of all men, if he were placed in this disposition, would be caused by it to change from his wonted disposition: for insolence is engendered in him by the good things which he possesses, and envy is implanted in man from the beginning; and having these two things, he has all vice: for he does many deeds of reckless wrong, partly moved by insolence proceeding from satiety, and partly by envy. And yet a despot at least ought to have been free from envy, seeing that he has all manner of good things. He is however naturally in just the opposite temper towards his subjects; for he grudges to the nobles that they should survive and live, but delights in the basest of citizens, and he is more ready than any other man to receive calumnies. Then of all things he is the most inconsistent; for if you express admiration of him moderately, he is offended that no very great court is paid to him, whereas if you pay court to him extravagantly, he is offended with you for being a flatterer. And the most important matter of all is that which I am about to say:—he disturbs the customs handed down from our fathers, he is a ravisher of women, and he puts men to death without trial. On the other hand the rule of many has first a name attaching to it which is the fairest of all names, that is to say “Equality”; next, the multitude does none of those things which the monarch does: offices of state are exercised by lot, and the magistrates are compelled to render account of their action: and finally all matters of deliberation are referred to the public assembly. I therefore give as my opinion that we let monarchy go and increase the power of the multitude; for in the many is contained everything’.”

The three forms of government—monarchical, oligarchical, and democratic—are a perennial theme of Greek political thought that continues to echo through the history of Western civilization. Book III of Aristotle’s Politics goes into this in some detail.
After sending my essay off to Isonomia Quarterly I realized that one of the fundamental ambiguities about the idea of isonomia—and I would have included a footnote on this if I had thought of it sooner—is the ambiguity implicit in speaking in terms of the same law. What is it that is “the same” when we speak of the same law? “The same law” could mean that every particular law would apply to every particular person, or “the same law” could mean that the totality of the law, that is, the whole body of law, applies to the totality of the population. A body of law might involve different laws that apply differently to different persons, so that the second of the two senses does not entail the first of the two senses. If you read my essay you’ll find that I argue that the Greeks understood isonomia in the latter sense, so I won’t repeat that argument or the sources I cite for it here. But the fact that we might interpret a fundamental political idea in different ways poses the question of how these fundamental ideas outlined in antiquity apply to us today, if they do apply, and how they ought to apply now and in the future.
How will these traditional ideas be interpreted in future iterations of human society that might differ quite considerably from the world that we inhabit? How are we to understand isonomia within the context of a spacefaring civilization? For that matter, how are we to understand any classical Greek political theory in the context of future changes to society? For Westerners, this is our heritage, and how this tradition adapts or is adapted to changed conditions will give shape to the ongoing tradition of Western civilization.
In my essay I suggest that, on Earth to date, the expansion of political regimes has constituted what I call synchronic isonomia, when societies are distributed synchronically, that is to say, when they interact in the present across geographical distances. In a specifically legal context, this means the iteration of a body of law across a region of space. The possibility of what Frank White calls Large-Scale Space Migration would initially constitute synchronic expansion on a scale greater than that possible on Earth, but, if continued, it would eventually cross a threshold of diachronic isonomia, that is to say, when societies are distributed diachronically over time. In a specifically legal context, again, this means the iteration of a body of law, the same law, over a period of time. The strange, seemingly paradoxical aspect of this way of thinking is that the human scale of time could be distributed over a much larger cosmological scale of time while retaining its character as distinctively human history. I will try to explain how this could come about, but first I want to point out a peculiarity of terrestrial history that we haven’t seen as a peculiarity.
We are familiar with the idea that we see the universe form a peculiar point of view because we see it from the surface of a planet. Our planetary perspective has been the focus of the Copernican revolution, which has taught us that our apparently centrality in the universe is an artifact of our limited and parochial perspective. The Copernican revolution taught us to transcend our planetary perspective and to see the universe from a non-terrestrial perspective, but there is another aspect of the Copernican revolution that we haven’t yet explored, and that is seeing history from a non-terrestrial perspective. Part of this non-terrestrial perspective is simply to understand that, just as we are not in the center of space, we are also not in the center of time. But there’s more to it than this.
Einstein’s theory of relativity has made it possible for us to see time in a new way, and this can change the way we see history. In many of my episodes I have talked about the need to address the disconnect between philosophies of time and philosophies of history. History is constructed out of time, so a radical reconceptualization of time suggests a radical reconceptualization of history. The theory of relativity is such a radical reconceptualization of time, but many of the influences of relativity and gravity upon time are usually not noticed on a terrestrial scale, and all human history to date has occurred on terrestrial scale.
We can see the effects of relativity when we look out into the cosmos and use instruments to observe cosmological distances over which relatively is relevant, and to observe bodies so dense that they change the structure of spacetime. To date, our technologies have allowed us to measure the relativity of time under the influence of acceleration and gravitation, but we may, at some point in our history, develop technologies that allow us to interact with the universe at a scale at which relativity will change our history. When this eventuality comes to pass, we will eventually be forced to notice things about our history that hadn’t previously been problematic.
Our history to date has been the simplest possible history because it has all transpired on Earth. Earth is our sole inertial frame of reference for all historical events. There are relativistic effects within this inertial frame of reference, but they can only be detected by instruments of extreme precision because the influence of relativity lies below the threshold of human perception. For example, every planet drags its spacetime around with it as it rotates, which is known as frame-dragging. And even the relatively crude instruments of the nineteenth century could detect the perihelion precession of Mercury, which is an observable relativistic perturbation of the orbit of Mercury. This was first observed and noted to diverge from Newtonian predictions in 1859. These relativistic effects are, however, well below the threshold of impacting human history.
Technologies could change this. Relativistic space travel would be such a technology. This has been made famous by the so-called “twins paradox.” The twins paradox is invoked with greatest effect by the use of individuals to illustrate the difference between two clocks in different inertial frames of reference—usually a set of twins. This was called a paradox because it was initially thought to be impossible. We also saw this use of individuals to demonstrate the poignancy of time dilation in the film Interstellar. Here it is a father and daughter who are separated, with the father experiencing an accelerated inertial frame of reference, so that he returns, still a young man, to find his daughter dying as an old woman. This is great for drama, but this isn’t how any relativistic space settlement effort is going to play out, unless someone purposefully arranges something like this as a stunt.
Let us consider a simple example of what is more likely to occur. Suppose a settlement on another world established by several thousands of individuals, maybe tens or hundreds of thousands, like a small city, who travel to another planetary system, tens or hundreds or thousands of light years from Earth. The passengers on the starship in their accelerated inertial framework will experience time dilation, and they will preserve the cultural milieu of Earth has it was upon their launch. When they establish their settlement, there will be two human histories that bifurcate at the point in time when the interstellar settlement initiative was inaugurated.
However, the larger population on Earth will continue to drive cultural evolution at a far faster rate than in the settlement, while, in the settlement, human beings will be subjected to radically different selection pressures than prevailed on Earth, and they will also be a small community likely to retain the cultural milieu they possessed when they left Earth. We would then have two human histories, offset in time by the discontinuity of the relativistic travel time from Earth to the location of the settlement. For example, if the Earth and the settlement are a hundred light years apart, there would be a temporal discontinuity of a century. Life would go on at Earth, and a century later things would be different, but a century later the settlement would just be founded on the basis of Earth’s culture of a century before. This is a kind of historical complexity that we do not have today, but which could happen in the future.
Now imagine not one settlement, but a hundred or a thousand such settlements, each representing a temporal discontinuity from Earth’s history. A hundred settlements of ten thousand persons each would be an effort involving only a million persons, which is a very small proportion of the total human population; Earth wouldn’t even notice the absence of a million persons. Further, imagine travel among these settlements by relativistic spacecraft, and then the history of those who travel between settlements will be even more complex. In this context, depending upon the location of settlements relative to each other, and the date at which the settlement initiative was undertaken, an individual could effectively time travel into the past by traveling outward from Earth to a settlement that preserves the historical milieu at Earth at the time of its departure. You could not return to Earth without finding yourself accelerated into the future, but you could travel further outward to a settlement established from earlier in Earth’s history.
We get a similar, if slower result, if we substitute sub-relativistic spacecraft in conjunction with artificially induced torpor or hibernation—space arks, if you will. A slow boat to the stars would likewise preserve the culture of Earth from the time of its departure, with settlers being roused and resuming their lives once they reached the end of their journey, effectively cut off from a return to their familiar terrestrial milieu, but they would be able to visit other historical peer milieux if they take another slow boat further out into the cosmos.
The kind of distributed temporality that I am describing would achieve its greatest extent, and its greatest historical complexity, in the case of interstellar expansion. However, something similar could be realized on Earth at a smaller scale. Imagine a large scale hibernation project on Earth, such that about 10,000 persons are involved, enough so that there could be a rotating crew of a dozen or so that stays awake to tend the rest to make sure this continues to operate as intended. At some appointed time in the future, the whole community could be brought out of their hibernation and they would bring with them the culture of Earth from their date when they entered into hibernation, now displaced into the future. This would make it possible for temporally distributed communities to appear on Earth, without travel to other worlds or the use of relativistic technology. There are several science fiction stories with something like this as their approximate premise.
Whether through relativistic travel or human hibernation, historical communities could be preserved from all eras into some indefinite future, and in that indefinite future, these distinct historical communities would be synchronically present. This is what I call coevalism, when all ages of history are equally accessible. The idea of coevalism occurred to me many years ago, and not in connection with relativistic travel; I was thinking about the increasing fidelity of recording technologies. Written language is the most rudimentary form of recording technology, and is allows us the most rudimentary form of time travel, by being able to share the thoughts of those long dead. Since the industrial revolution, technologies have become much more sophisticated, with photographs, film, and sound recordings, with always-increasing fidelity to the original.
The rapid growth of computer technology and telecommunications in recent decades has made us aware that, if this arc of technological development continues, we will have nearly-perfect fidelity recordings. But in addition to recordings, we could generate states-of-affairs that never existed in fact, as in fantasy and science fiction, or we could generate the milieux of the past, both with a degree of fidelity equal to that of the present. Computers are already sufficiently sophisticated to generate simple films, and the reconstruction of past milieux can be done without computers as well.
In the original Westworld film on 1973, a past milieu was re-created using robots. Robotics hasn’t yet achieved this level of realism, but we could do this today with human actors, and we may yet do so someday with robots. In fact, we do this in a limited way. Theme parks re-create fantasy worlds populated with actors who make fantasy characters come to life. So coevalism can be realized at smaller scales than sparefaring civilizations, but it would be in a spacefaring civilizations with relativistic space travel in which the possibilities of coevalism would come to their fullest expression, and in which history would achieve its greatest complexity.
History is already extraordinarily complex, but I said earlier than our terrestrial history is the simplest history possible given the spacetime structure of the universe. It is when we begin distributing our civilization in cosmological time that historical complexity will cease to be a single linear continuum. The possibilities of spacefaring histories will be both facilitated and limited by our technology. These possibilities will also be facilitated and limited by the actual spacetime structure of the universe, which is a function of the distribution of matter in the universe. Just as terrestrial history has been shaped by oceans, mountain ranges, and rivers, cosmological history is shaped by stars, gravitation, and expansion, and human history that takes place within this cosmological context will be shaped by these forces. The point I want to make is that, while human history is complex, we are not necessarily limited by the complexity of the single inertial frame of reference of our homeworld.
When multiple inertial frames of reference are available to us, and travel between then is possible, the possible structures of history will dramatically expand, and with these possibilities human experience will dramatically expand, and I hope you can see how this can give a whole new meaning to the idea of speculative philosophy of history. In the conventional distinction between analytical philosophy of history and substantive philosophy of history, analytical philosophy of history is, according to Danto, “…philosophy applied to the special conceptual problems which arise out of the practice of history,” while substantive philosophy of history is a philosophical account of the historical process itself. This same distinction has also been called the distinction between critical and speculative philosophy of history by William Dray, and the distinction between formal and material philosophy of history by Maurice Mandelbaum. Here I emphasize speculative philosophy of history as that which reflects uon the actual historical process.
In addition to the speculative philosophy of history that considers the historical process, we can also imagine a speculative philosophy of history that concerns itself with the implications of speculative states-of-affairs upon history yet to come—historical processes not yet realized, but which may be realized someday. Many of the speculative states-of-affairs I can imagine involve human exploration and expansion into the cosmos. The speculative states-of-affairs we might encounter in the wider universe could involve scientific discoveries not yet made and technologies not yet constructed, the histories of life on other worlds and the histories of alien civilizations, as well as the histories that we will create for ourselves. It’s a big universe, and we might discover any number of unlikely or unprecedented existents.
In my episode on a complexity ladder for big history I argued that there may be distinctive emergents from historical knowledge, that is to say, the quantitative growth of historical knowledge may pass a threshold to become a qualitative change in historical understanding. What kind of emergents could these be? For example, an increase in the knowledge of our own history can change our understanding of ourselves. We are seeing this with the use of the genetic record to reconstruct the sequence by which human beings distributed themselves across Earth. In this way, epistemic emergents reshape our past and our understanding of ourselves.
In addition to these emergents from knowledge of our past, there may yet come emergents that arise from a temporally distributed civilization and the advent of coevalism. A temporally distributed civilization could also give rise to emergents in historical knowledge. The dawning realization of epistemic emergents yet to come in the future will shape our conception of what we can become (in contradistinction to increased knowledge of the past shaping what we are), reshaping our future, and we will need these epistemic emergents from a history of a greater order of complexity so as to understand the more complex world coming into being, and which our descendants will inhabit. Without these epistemic emergents we would not be able to understand the more complex world arising out of these novel technologies and the world they will bring into being. The future of philosophy of history has never been brighter, as we see that it will come to grappled with ever-larger and more complex problems.

Video Presentation

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as title suggests, im a rising senior. kinda scary to think that in less than half a year, ill be p much done with most college apps. i dont wanna sound pretentious with the "im subpar and below average" but the schools id love to go to aren't by any means easy acceptances, and with a few months of free time ahead, id love some advice on things i can do to get in to my choices as well as a breakdown of where im standing with what i have rn.
hooks: none. im an indian male, middle income, from a p well off suburb. first-gen college student in america, though, if that counts?
stats:
uw gpa: 3.98 (basically a 4.0, one 89 in middle school during COVID year. lowest hs grade was 91)
w gpa: 5.21
class rank: top 10% out of 456 students (auto admit to all public tx unis BUT ut)
PSAT: 1460 (700E, 760M)
SAT: 1510 (730E, 780M)
superscore: 1530 (750E, 780M)
APs: 16 total. human geo (5), psych (4), physics 1 (3), whap (3), physics 2, csa, seminar, apush, stats, lang, calc bc, physics c, lit, econ, gov, csp
ecs (wrote some main ones, got some other clubs here and there but these are big):
sports networking startup - cofounder of a sports media app that connects users to participate in events and pickup games. top business within the school's incubator program, qualifiying to apply for the national summit. worked on app development, marketing, pitching, and finances. raised $880 in revenue in two months with two esports events and a basketball charity tournament.
independent research program - selected into an independent research program offered by the district where students apply and those accepted are connected with mentors to pursue fields of interest with formal guidance and mentorship. I got accepted into this course for my senior year, but ill probably get ahead with research this summer so I can have something of substance prior to college apps.
soccer referee - soccer referee for large local sports organization, reffing soccer games for children between the ages of 6-14. tasks include refereeing games, managing fields, and ensuring safety and playability.
nhs vice president - vice president of the school's national honor society, leading over 200 members at induction ceremonies, socials, and club fairs.
nonprofit intern - unpaid intern for extremely large local religious nonprofit, assisting with management and inventory at temple cafeteria where food is distributed for free as a religious offering. tasks include tracking inventory, maintaining financial records, and training new volunteers.
freshman orientation captain - captain for the annual freshman orientation, chosen to lead the planning of the annual freshman orientation by preparing presentations, organizing logistics, and training volunteer speakers and leaders.
key club committee member - committee member for school's key club, raising over $1000 and granting membership to over 250 members.
president/cf of tutoring np - created a peer tutoring np, with chapters at different schools. students are tutored in a variety of different topics in person, and generated money is reinvested/donated to educational causes. raised over $2000 with more work being done this summer.
awards:
deca 2x state finalist
bpa regional finalist
ap scholar
$350 grant for school key club
essays/lors:
haven't looked too much into essay prompts yet, but ive been a decent writer and have close relationships with teachers on campus that can help a lot with essay writing and structure.
have amazing relationships with a variety of teachers in a variety of fields. my business advisor, ap physics teacher, ap lang teacher, and ap seminar teacher have all mentioned interest in writing me a rec letter.
school list (lmk if this is off, me and my senior friend put this together in apstats in like 5 mins):
safeties:
a&m. ut dallas, iu
targets:
ut austin mccombs (dream school), gt, umich, nyu, uva, unc
reaches:
stanford, berkeley, ucla, upenn, duke
please lmk what u think i can do. my senior friends have told me that they expect to see me at UT next year, and i honestly cant let em down. any advice going into summer on specific parts of my app i havent touched on? anything helps. thanks!

Hey there! I can't guarantee that this will be the shortest opening, so proceed at your own risk.
My name is Levi, I'm 27, and currently live within the general hellscape that is ✨the Midwest!✨ Like a lot of people on here, I'm hoping to build up some sort of connection with someone, with hopes that perhaps someone, my person and my equal, is out there reading this.
A little about me: I'm a bit of a nerd, especially when it comes to PC gaming, but have always buried myself deep within the nerdier things in life. From MtG to D&D, fantasy to sci-fi, board games to video games, I love it all! When I'm not engaged in a game, you can usually find me voraciously listening to podcasts, audiobooks, or video essays about politics, philosophy, science, and broader social issues; going to my local HEMA club (when work allows me the time); or working. My job is pretty active, and allows me the freedom to walk outside unsupervised, and while I'm not a huge fan of working in general, this is a job I'm very content with. It also has the freedom for me to transfer anywhere in the US, which could be relevant. Physically, I'm 5'11" with a kinda broad build, long, dark brown hair, and glasses. While I look at myself as a generic-brand Amigo the Devil, my coworker likes to calls me "Tommy Chong" lol
Music is also a huge deal to me, from seeing live shows, to spending hours, days, or even weeks listening to whatever album or artist catches my attention. I try to find something good in anything I listen to, and find pleasure in all sorts of genres, but the ones I stick to at the moment are prog rock/metal and jazz. I love trying to find smaller artists, and feel like a lot of them bring a unique sound and feel to the table that larger bands may have polished out of their writing.
What I'm looking for: I would love to find someone who is deeply compassionate and open-minded to new ideas. Someone who likes to critically challenge their beliefs as a means of growth, and is profoundly curious about the world and all of its machinations. I'm more of a homebody, and certainly prefer a night in over a night out, but I generally won't say no to an evening on (or away from) the town. I'm neurodivergent, and ask that there's a very clear and open line of communication in any relationship being built. Furthermore, I am mixed-race, and I ask that at a bare minimum there's a bit of conscientiousness regarding how that plays into life's grander picture. Physically, I'm not too pressed about looks, and all I ask is that you take care of yourself to the best of your ability, both in body and mind
If you feel like we could be a good match, and perhaps each other's player 2, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to message me a bit about yourself, or to ask any burning questions you may have

Hey there! I can't guarantee that this will be the shortest opening, so proceed at your own risk.
My name is Levi, I'm 27, and currently live within the general hellscape that is ✨the Midwest!✨ Like a lot of people on here, I'm hoping to build up some sort of connection with someone, with hopes that perhaps someone, my person and my equal, is out there reading this.
A little about me: I'm a bit of a nerd, especially when it comes to PC gaming, but have always buried myself deep within the nerdier things in life. From MtG to D&D, fantasy to sci-fi, board games to video games, I love it all! When I'm not engaged in a game, you can usually find me voraciously listening to podcasts, audiobooks, or video essays about politics, philosophy, science, and broader social issues; going to my local HEMA club (when work allows me the time); or working. My job is pretty active, and allows me the freedom to walk outside unsupervised, and while I'm not a huge fan of working in general, this is a job I'm very content with. It also has the freedom for me to transfer anywhere in the US, which could be relevant. Physically, I'm 5'11" with a kinda broad build, long, dark brown hair, and glasses. While I look at myself as a generic-brand Amigo the Devil, my coworker likes to calls me "Tommy Chong" lol
Music is also a huge deal to me, from seeing live shows, to spending hours, days, or even weeks listening to whatever album or artist catches my attention. I try to find something good in anything I listen to, and find pleasure in all sorts of genres, but the ones I stick to at the moment are prog rock/metal and jazz. I love trying to find smaller artists, and feel like a lot of them bring a unique sound and feel to the table that larger bands may have polished out of their writing.
What I'm looking for: I would love to find someone who is deeply compassionate and open-minded to new ideas. Someone who likes to critically challenge their beliefs as a means of growth, and is profoundly curious about the world and all of its machinations. I'm more of a homebody, and certainly prefer a night in over a night out, but I generally won't say no to an evening on (or away from) the town. I'm neurodivergent, and ask that there's a very clear and open line of communication in any relationship being built. Furthermore, I am mixed-race, and I ask that at a bare minimum there's a bit of conscientiousness regarding how that plays into life's grander picture. Physically, I'm not too pressed about looks, and all I ask is that you take care of yourself to the best of your ability, both in body and mind
If you feel like we could be a good match, and perhaps each other's player 2, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to message me a bit about yourself, or to ask any burning questions you may have

This is so stupid and super long. Sorry. But many years ago I knew a guy who went to the same college as me. We can call him Charlie. We became friends and eventually started sleeping together without romantic attachments or dating. We were just friends. But we were close. We hung out together, spoke about guys we liked or had a crush on, talked about our futures. I considered him "like my best friend" or 2nd best friend. Though our friendship was sexual, we weren't boyfriends.
We were in the same year and in the same class. There was a big project we had to write. That project consisted of multiple essays, 3 to 5 pages each, that must be related to each other somehow. I wrote my project on me. I wrote about my childhood, my dreams, I wrote about being gay. I poured my heart out and I was excited to share that with my professor. She was a mentor to me.
Charlie had the same class but a different professor. I shared my essays with Charlie to get his opinion and that's when he asked me if he could have one of them to use as his. He would rewrite it to make it about him and it would help him pass. He said I had more essays than I needed, so I wouldn't even have to write a new one. Charlie was really struggling in this class.
I told him no. It felt wrong. It was plagiarism, against the honor code, and we would fail the class and get suspended or expelled. I offered to help him write an outline for an essay using mine as a template but he said he didn't have time for that and it was due in a few days. I told him no.
He said okay, we studied/wrote half the night. He then stayed over and he initiated sex. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. I went to class and forgot all about Charlie asking for my essay
The next day I went to gather my essays for binding and one of them was missing. And I knew he took it. I kept calling his room, paging him, IM showed he was online so I kept messaging him. And he wouldn't answer.
I went to his dorm and pounded on his door. I heard him in his room but he wouldn't answer the door. I yelled through the door that I was printing another copy of my essay and was submitting it. And if he used it, I would narc. I also said I can't believe you would do this to me.
I left and did what I told him I would do. I turned in my project and spoke to the professor after class. I told her what had happened and she said maybe he wouldn't use it. But ill speak with his professor and if he uses your essay in his project then he will face the consequences.
The idiot used my essay. He barely changed anything in it. He initially didn't even change the name of one of my cousins but later did with a vastly different name.
He got caught and failed the course. He had to go to a hearing for plagiarism. I had to write a statement and I told the truth. In the end, Charlie did not get expelled, but he was suspended for the rest of the semester.
I tried to talk to him and he said I was dead to him and he never spoke to me again. I felt awful like I did something wrong. For awhile I thought I should have just given him the essay,
So back to now, I haven't thought of or about Charlie for years. I moved on made other friends and I had heard that Charlie transfered. It all came rushing back to me when I went to work last week and ran into Charlie.
I manage a barestaurant. I dont normally work Sundays. That day, my opening supervisor and the opening server called out so I was managing and serving. A male couple came in and sat down and I welcomed them in. They were such a cute couple. They were holding hands and sitting on the same side of the table. It made me very happy to see it. We had just quit serving brunch and one of them asked if it was too late. I tell them if they hurry they can still use the brunch menu. They said thank you and ordered. They told me they came every Sunday and asked where the server was. I said they weren't in today but I would tell the server their regulars came in. I then tell them my name and if they needed anything let me know and I would check on them soon.
As soon as i said my name, one of them repeats my name. And I nod and he says did you go to (my college). My first name is very unusual so I say yes, thinking to myself, "did I go to school with him?"
He then gets a weird angry smile and says something like "you don't remember me do you? I've spent a lot of time thinking what I would say to you if I ever saw you again."
It was strange and I couldn't place him. I say, "I'm sorry but I don't remember you. What's your name?" He yells "you ruin my life and you don't know my name?" His partner was trying to calm him down.
I was so confused. And then that's when I knew it was Charlie. I said his name and he said now you remember me?
I told him I'm sorry you feel that way but I didn't ruin your life. He said that when he was suspended, he lost a scholarship. Then his parents kicked him out and quit funding him for getting "kicked out for cheating." So when the suspension was over, he couldn't come back. He said he didn't finish college until he was almost 30. He then stood up and grabbed his partner's hand and then insulted me. He told me "youre not so high and mighty now? Are you WAITER". He said waiter with disdain and like it was something to be ashamed of.
l told him that was unnecessary and to stop yelling or he would be asked to leave. He said you were my boyfriend and you did that to me. I said I never was your boyfriend. You need to go.
He said they would never come back and that I owed him an apology. I lost my cool and said you deserved it. You stole my essay. You plagiarized. You didn't care about me at all. You would have let me get suspended too. I then told him to get out and we don't want or need his business. And then they left.
I've been thinking about it all week. l'm not sorry for reporting him back in school. But I'm wondering if l'm the asshole for not telling Charlie sorry. Especially since I'm not sorry but maybe hearing those words might have meant a lot to him. And at one time he did mean a lot to me. His face when he was screaming at me was scary. It was so filled with anger and rage over something that happened 20 years ago or so. And then I feel guilty for possibly leading him on all those years ago since he said I was his boyfriend and I didn't feel the same way. I thought he felt the same way I did but clearly I was wrong.
Sorry for this being so long.

hi, please be kind, I recently became vegan (literally like a week ago) and I am still learning. I do not currently have any pets but I have lived with cats and I feel a very strong affinity towards cats. in the future I would like to adopt a cat. however I realize that this means I would have to feed the cat meat, and I’m kind of heartbroken at the thought of not being able to adopt a cat because of this. I know there is vegan cat food, but that seems to be a controversial topic and so far all the vets/cat experts I have seen have emphasized that that is a bad idea.
here is what I’ve been thinking about: a cat is going to eat meat whether or not I adopt them, right? if I chose to not adopt a cat, somebody else would and the cat would still be fed meat. which leads me to wonder is it possible to be vegan but feed your cat meat? I’ve dug through many many posts on this topic and I realize this is a highly controversial subject, and I’m sure many of you are sick of this question. however I would really like to discuss this as this is a concern of mine. if a cat requires meat, then wouldn’t it be animal abuse to not feed the cat the proper diet? this is what I have seen people like the kitten lady say.
I’m interested in hearing specifically from people who “have” cats and/or have lots of experience dealing with cats. also I would really appreciate any reputable videos, essays, articles, studies, books, etc on this subject.

New Flash everyone: the guy who hangs out with Daniel Greene(a pro-fairy rights socialist), is loved by redditors, and got a Hugo award is… woke. Who would have ever seen that coming? But, thanks to Jon Del Arroz making a video about it on May 18th, I am here to repeat the news back to you so there is an easily accessible source as to HOW he’s woke. Everything was revealed back in January 2023, but I want people to understand the implications and narrative that he’s presenting when he says his concerns about fairy rights. By the end of this, you will realize that people calling themselves Christian does not cause them to be immune to wokeness.
In fact, with how Christianity has influenced wokeness into existence, it’s likely a lot of "Christians" are what we can call “first wave wokeness”.
For context, Brandon Sanderson is a Mormon, part of the Latter-Day Saints (LDS). Mormonism is almost exclusively a US issue, and I’ve also noticed that there are a lot of youtubers who tend to be Mormon women(probably because they have other women in the house to do the chores). These people are great with money, big in business, and their church is anti-fairy. A lot of problems the fairy-rights activists have are with Mormon churches, which is strange for Europeans to witness with how open a lot of their churches are, outside of the US. Protestant, evangelical, unitarian, the national church of Denmark, it’s a big list.
But in 2008, Brandon wrote an essay about his Mormon beliefs on how Dumbledore from Harry Potter liked to have wands stirred around in his brown cauldron. His quote:

How does this relate to Dumbledore? I'm not trying to present him as an antagonist or a villain. All I'm saying is that if you believe in the truth of your message, then you shouldn't care if someone decent, respected, and intelligent is depicted as believing differently from yourself. Decent, respected, and intelligent people can be wrong--and you can still respect them. It's okay. That doesn't threaten our points, since we (theoretically) believe that they are eternal and stronger than any argument we could make.

Back in this time, Brandon had only been an author for 3 years, but he won an award for his first published book, Elantris. He was being careful with his words, and his take is considered liberal. He was trying to defend the backlash JK Rowling received for her (poor) choice of virtue signaling and tried to mend this defense with his own religion. Mentioning his religious views is what got him canceled back then, which he later apologized for in 2011:

I cannot be deaf to the pleas of [fairy] couples who want important things, such as hospital visitation rights, shared insurance, and custody rights. At the same time, I accept and sustain the leaders of the LDS church. I believe that a prophet of God has said that widespread legislation to approve [fairy] marriage will bring pain and suffering to all involved.

He was not backing down from his religion yet. His goal post moved to the legal ramifications of the US, which are separate from his church(remember, church and state, supposed to be separate in the US), but he was still saying his religion wanted him to oppose people calling it a marriage and having it in churches. This was a second “cancellation” that didn’t go very far, mostly because he was able to use religion as an excuse for his take, with the Christian Cake Packed With Fudge Scandal not happening yet(2018).
Fast forward to 2023, after he hangs out with a bunch of woke youtubers, and we get a new quote from Brandon:

The church’s first prophet, Joseph Smith, famously taught, “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” My current beliefs are where I’ve arrived on my journey, as I attempt to show the love that Jesus Christ taught. I look forward to seeing further changes in the church, and I work to make sure I am helping from within it to create a place that is welcoming of [fairy] people and ideas. I would love, for example, to see the church recognize [fairy] marriage among its members. Both temporally and eternally. I would support ordaining [tinkerbell] men to the priesthood. (And would support the ordination of women, though that is another issue.)

That’s interesting. It seems like he made a complete 180 on his stance, claims that he’s always believed this new stance, blames Jesus for this new stance, and then doubles down on this new stance by adding female ordination(becoming a priest and higher) and even Tinkerbells. As time went on, he decided that his religion was totally wrong about fairies, and this 13 year difference means way more than the nearly 200 years Mormonism has been around. I believe a fellow Mormon, Shadversity, would love to have a discussion about how any of this makes sense, but I’m starting to feel that he’s the same way. Who knows if Ethan Van Sciver understands Mormonism as well as Brandon Sanderson does, with how easy it is to manipulate prophecies and reinterpret scripture.
But that’s been the point for a while, right?
Wokeness is here to restructure both historical evidence and even religions, in order to shift cultures and social institutions to obey this progressive change. Words are changed in the dictionary, social “norms” are changed to be updated for a “modern audience”, and postmodernists like Foucault were able to trick college kids into thinking the Greeks were all pixie fairies. Once a critical theorist gets their hands on something with power, their goal is not to keep it as it is. It is to keep it for themselves. This is why you will hear these people say everything is subjective, which is secret code for “Look at me: I’m the captain of reality now.”
But wait, it gets better! Brandon Sanderson continued with:

Back in 2007, I was mostly known only in my community, not to the world at large. The essay, then, was directed at my local community, and was more controversial among them (for being too liberal) than it was controversial to the world at large for being [fairy]phobic. That might surprise you, if you’ve read the excerpts that often float around the internet. This was mostly me trying to encourage other members of the church to be more open and welcoming of [fairy] characters and ideas.
That said, the essay does display the casual bigotry common to people who (like myself) have lived lives where we haven’t had to deal with some of the issues common to the lives of people suffering discrimination. Many of the assertions (such as my view on [fairy] marriage) do not reflect my current stance. After writing it, and interacting with those who found it objectionable–even painful–I came to understand them and their experiences better. Though they did not owe me that honor, they gave it freely.

You see, he's honored to hear about the life of a bug chaser.
Brandon cares deeply about the pain he caused to his wallet… I mean the fairies who saw his essay. He was an award winning author back then, he didn’t know it would be a global thing. It was supposed to be only seen by people in Utah, that’s it. This is what we call: bullshit. The woke rely heavily on gaslighting and pretending they’re ignorant of everything, while telling others that they need to learn and understand EVERYTHING about a subject before they are even able to mention it.
He was already big on reddit, he knew all about his fandom, and he knew about his publisher, Tor. The only thing that really changed is that now he is unable to stick to being liberal and he has to present himself as progressive. Why? Well, the new Amazon deal happened recently, and he’s the writer of the series The Wheel of Time. As if Rings of Power wasn’t evidence enough of how Amazon mistreats their properties, Brandon was forced to erase his own past, like Agent J in Men in Black, burning his own hands in the process.
I’m not surprised that he’s woke or even that Christians are falling to this woke inquisition. When I said first wave wokeness, I would like to clarify why it’s the catalyst for all of this stupidity. Wokeness is not of Christian values, but instead a parasite upon Christianity, in the same way Gnosticism and Satanism would be. When Christianity started to allow new sects, and a lot of these were considered valid, the crazy sex cults of the 60s opened the floodgates for a bunch of crazy reinterpretations. It’s the same way as how there are still circles of Christianity that go for flat earth theory or say that dinosaurs don’t exist, with these people usually at the forefront of the home-schooling movement.
It’s not that home-schooling is bad by itself, it’s that bad people use it to then have the good people using it be wrongfully grouped into the same area, in the same way gun-ownership does. This type of bastardization has always been a problem in the US, due to the lack of authority over what makes something categorized as such a thing, thanks to liberalism allowing the freedom to constantly change things. As time went on, this liberalism changed into progressivism, with the key difference being that liberalism is an allowance of change while progressivism is an enforced change. The liberalism of the 1800s allowed the Confederates to claim Christianity approved of their enslavement of black people, by blaming the story of Ham and using scripture to claim it was okay to enslave certain people for generations. We always see this strange cherry-picking of scripture from fake Christians, and this problem has expanded into the Vatican itself with the current and following generations of Popes.
A lot of times, we’ll hear news about how Christians are under attack, a bakery is targeted to expose discrimination, or even where people claim they were banned from twitch for being Christian. But what they get wrong is that they are in the same circle as liberal and progressive Christianity, their openness created this weakness to tourism, and most Christian circles have been taken over in the US since before the 60s. The south has a culture of being liberal, Mormons have a culture of being liberal, protestants are very liberal, all because the US began as a liberal culture in the form of classical liberalism. The libertarian argument is always used by these liberal groups, that changes into the progressive enforcement, and over the years these liberal people get infected by the virus.
Add money to the mix, and we have ourselves an endless chain of liberal minded people falling to wokeness. The “redemption” narrative, along with original sin, from Christianity is currently its main weakness. The appeal to ignorance is another weakness, with people playing skeptic as a snake slithers through the grass. Christianity isn’t the problem by itself, it’s the naivety that comes from blind faith, which then expands into a contradictory blind faith that people are good inside, only to later wonder why everything is changing for the worse when evil people are put in charge. Fantasy stories have been under attack by the woke for quite a while, long before they tried to appropriate Tolkien with Rings of Power.
The fantasy that is controlled by the woke is an extension to their attack on religion, because to them a fantasy story is no different than a bible. Mythological presentation, symbolic themes, a dream-like world to present morals to follow; the entire thing has been used by Brandon to then have him later claim that he’s always had fairy characters since the beginning. Sure, his religion says fairies are bad, but then he virtue signals by claiming he’s always made fiction about how they’re good. He would never say this if the publishing world made sense and if publishers were the way they were in the 1950s. That is because he would never have to choose between religion and money back then, with money always mattering more to the typical materialist.
I’m sure people will say that I’m being hard on Christians, or that I’m evil for saying this, or even that I am a satanist for noticing. These people would only be angry at the truth being said, which is the opposite of what Christianity teaches. Fantasy writers, like Brandon, have a lot of supporters, with this support merging between the woke and Mormons. So many feel that they need to make sense of their fandom, so they claim their religion is wokeness, converting it into blind Satanism. This is far from the truth and we need to condemn those who focus solely on radical subjectivity.
Especially if they blame God for their stupid takes, like how Brandon does now.

My ex girlfriend found a new boyfriend in 3 weeks, just looking for advice + venting doubt anyone will read
I've dated this girl for a year, I can't believe shes gone. She broke up with me around the end of april, she broke up with me once before last year as well and I took her back because I felt what she just needed was a break. We were a long distance couple (she lived another city over, around a 2 hr 30 min drive). Even after we broke up for this final time she would still text me and call me on the phone to sleep with her on the phone and i ignored it because i was mad and felt like she was just keeping me around for validation. Around her birthday which was the 26 I called her and wished her happy birthday and said if she wanted me to see her to let me know and she did not, later on she had prom and sent me pics and i was acting dry because I still felt some type of way. The 29th was the last time we talked and she called me and told me how happy she was and said this is why we broke up yada yada and i was also dry and just nonchalant and she hung up on me. When were long distance I wished I could see her every now and then, but the money and car maintenance over time just makes it hard with the position Im in as a student. Half of the reason why is my fault as well as hers. She was a very insecure person and would always be on me about social media and let it consume our relationship (crying when she found out I have followed girls in our relationship, making me unfollow some every day, and some of them literally just being old friends, crying when she found out I comment under girls who are just mutuals posts whom mean nothing to me). I felt terrible and told her I'd stop but she said it didn't matter and eventually said she wouldn't deal with arguing with me about it all the time and broke up with me. I feel so immature. I had been falling out of love as well due to how needy and insecure she was and how she could even break up with me when she did last year. My friend gave me the hard facts and told me "See look, now go talk to those girls you were arguing with her to remove". She would also break up with me so often (would get back the next day), I did not think she was serious and our relationship just was not healthy with the amount of that happening and crying involved.
She had me blocked on everything but not tiktok, I checked her tiktok a few days ago and then I was blocked there too, which made me curious why. Was it her finally moving on and being done with me? Was she always checking my account and videos I reposted? (Was thinking it was this due to how I've seen her do it twice with the profile viewer feature). It made me curious and I had viewed her instagram on an alternate account and I saw a picture of her and her new boyfriend. My heart was shattered, my stomach was hurting, I felt so nauseous and I just could not breathe. This was the girl who said she would never date again for a long time after we broke up, who was my baby, and said that she couldn't see a life without me. We were our first everything. I was lucky to have such friends that called me asap to make me feel better and cheer me up shortly after I had seen that.
I feel like she was talking to this guy when things got tough between us or was already friends with him to be honest. She probably is going to the same school as him. I can't stop myself from checking her story and it's always her and her new boyfriend and the way they look at each other and the way she feels so happy hurts so much. I was so terrible and I feel like I lost someone who was one of many, it puts me in a state that makes me forget all of the negative things about her and our relationship. I keep acting delusional to myself just thinking it's a rebound and the reason being that she just cant be alone due to how much of an emotional person she was. But is it that or has she really just moved on? I have no idea why I am still waiting for her. After she has been with someone else, and let another boy lay his hands on her, I just can't see her as the same. I don't know what I would do if she came back to me.
There was cultural differences as well on top of that, she is Hispanic and I am from a Muslim ethnicity so it's not easy to just bring her and show her to my family. I have met her sister and shes met mine and thats about it. Me and her sister bonded when one time I was coming back from visiting my ex and my car broke down and she let me stay at her house while the car was getting fixed and even fed me and paid for the towing which i told her she did not have to do.
We had so many interests that were similar and alike such as our music, show, anime, and gaming interests and I don't think im gonna find someone like that again. What's crazy is that we broke up just before her birthday, and I never got to see her and celebrate that with her and give her my gifts. Which reminds me of all the stuff ive gotten her and shes gotten me and how much money I just wasted on her.
The maturity difference was also there. She also hated how busy I was with work and school and legit preferred me to be broke just to talk to her all day.

There are a lot of unhealthy relationships in Downton Abbey. Both platonic, and non-platonic. But there are also some incredibly healthy ones and they're all based on mutual love and respect (and trust). And I think it would be fun to talk about them for a change instead of trying to persuade each other that love can be abusive (it can't, if it's abuse it's not love).
Let's start with the more seemingly unlikely (but actually makes a world of sense) sibling relationship, the one between Tom and Mary.
I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the first real interaction between them happened when Sybil got injured at the by-election.
https://preview.redd.it/xozyq4sk0o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8556b05b064a31c63b068e58e5139c016dd9650
Sybil, in her distress, asked Tom to bring someone from her family to Crawley House, and that someone was Mary. She didn't ask for Edith or Cora, even though she was Cora's favourite daughter (and if anyone wants an elaborate essay, or a long comment on how I reached that conclusion, let me know). She asked for Mary, because Mary was the one she trusted the most and the one she felt closest to. And the one she knew would stand by her, no matter what. Because, from what we've seen on the show, if you've got Mary's devotion she'll fight for you like a mama tiger.
So Tom and Mary unite forces for the first time because of their love and devotion to Sybil. And it shows. For all his reservations, Tom speaks to Mary openly after they come back to the house with Sybil. About his ideals and about who he is (someone who cares for Sybil). And Mary respects him, she doesn't rebuff him, doesn't tell him he speaks above his station (which, she could have, easily).
Even more she promises to give him news of Sybil's recovery when she notices how honestly he cares, and tells him to be prepared for Robert's wrath (which could have been considered out of turn, to speak about her father to a servant like that, but Mary didn't give a shit).
https://preview.redd.it/5nzyfapm0o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d270ca14644a34974baab26c7b5c30a602f20a8
Mary doesn't lose respect for him, and he doesn't lose respect for her, after Tom and Sybil try to elope. She doesn't talk down on him, and she is gracious, asking if he has money to pay for the room, and then accepting his reply without further questioning. What's more, she is honest with him, that she'll try to change Sybil's mind. But Mary doesn't find it necessary to talk down on him. After all, he is a man her sister loves. Whether it's smart for Sybil to do so is irrelevant, so Mary offers him the respect he deserves as the man her sister has chosen so far.
And Tom knows that Sybil values Mary's opinion. So he tells her "you think you can bring her around, don't you?" because he knows that the only person who could persuade Sybil, because it's the only person who would truly offer an opinion with only Sybil's best interest in mind, would be Mary.
Thankfully for him (and for Sybil), beyond advising her on what she thinks is best, Mary backs Sybil 100% and does all she can to keep her in her life and in the family.
And we know this through many things. First of all, she begs her father to send money to Sybil and Tom so they can be at her and Matthew's wedding.
https://preview.redd.it/uxnq49wo0o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57e8055af78bcf4c37931939fb9eab527c1832ac
Second of all, she is the one who writes to them. When they eventually do come for the wedding, Tom tells Carson they know what goes on at Downton because "Mary keeps them informed". THEM. Which means her letters are adressed to both Tom and Sybil, because Tom is her brother now. And as her brother, he gets a certain set of benefits. Including her devotion. Which also shows from her private conversation with Sybil, and how happy they are to be together and be able to share their happiness with each other.
And this is what I mean by saying the family we choose. The people we turn to in our hour of need and our hour of joy are the people we form the closest bond with. Sybil turned to Mary in her hour of need, and Mary wanted Sybil there in her hour of joy.
Their bond had now expanded to include Tom, and then, even further, to include Matthew.
https://preview.redd.it/b6xi0wlz0o1d1.jpg?width=830&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba71dd34cd36baaf7b9f3bd15a330e307f3c85d9
Because of course it did. All those things that hold these people together, the love, the trust, the respect, extend to him through Mary, so of course he'd be bound to Tom and Sybil in the same way. Obviously, their characters and personalities match as well, but that becomes part of the deal, you don't develop those deep connections with people you don't match with.
And Sybil held on to that bond with her sister to the very end, confiding in Mary all the things Mary would need to fight for Tom when the time came. About how much Sybil loved him, and about Sybil wanting her baby to be baptised into the Catholic church. Sybil chose Mary to support her in these battles (or fight them for her, if need be).
https://preview.redd.it/wfxhbn8m1o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=075cfb309dfc55170c5ff5478f57ddad924b0213
Sadly, Fellowes chose to show us very clearly who were Sybil's nearest and dearest in a very tragic way, considering whom he chose as the people literally holding on to her as she was slipping away.
https://preview.redd.it/g70deulu1o1d1.jpg?width=740&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e1fe82af54104eb0965037bb3d566057cb8a431
Which brings me to Tom asking Mary to be Sybbie's godmother.
https://preview.redd.it/ykmw3nk11o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=298b02bd10f6dfa25836b1cdff73df689af957ce
Mary is the Crawley who engages with Sybbie the most in season 3. More than Cora even. We see Mary at the nursery all the time, and it makes so much sense that Tom would pick her.
And I get that Fellowes did not want to bother with child actors, but it is sad he let those relationships move in the background once they were established.
First of all, again, Mary is clearly the one bonding the most with Tom's daughter. Second of all, her and Matthew were the ones who did their absolute best to integrate him to the family, Matthew making him his best man and Mary fighting Robert left and right in Tom's favour.
https://preview.redd.it/olelwbg31o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da6c02005b6995756b9c0fa60029b53c4e009cf9
So Tom had, initially, only invited Mary and Matthew to Sybbie's christening and nobody else from the family (not even Cora), and offered her the role of godmother. Because Mary loved Sybil, and Mary loved Sybbie. And Mary was the closest to Sybil that Sybbie would ever get.
Mary and Sybil were similar in many ways (even if Mary was a coward and Sybil was very brave), and Mary always loved and respected Sybil for who she was, and would do the same with her daughter. And she was so invested in keeping Tom and Sybbie in Downton, she was in fact the one to invite Tom's brother Kieran to stay with them during the christening.
I read a nice quote today that said death might end love, but it doesn't erase it. And that works for this family, because Sybbie gets so much love from her mother, through all these other people.
https://preview.redd.it/tmz9rce41o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3106a3e347d1dcc0508e1cfef639a3123981cb13
So Mary chose to love Tom for Sybil, and Tom did the same, but eventually, they learned to love each other for who they were as individuals. And to work together and squabble together as siblings do.
And develop their non-verbal communication skills:
https://preview.redd.it/8dmtfz514o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9367f6195266602a7e8ae0ea9675b09d00bf3690
Note: I love that Tom brought Sybbie to stay with Mary in the second movie while they were in France. Because of course he did. Why leave her with the nanny when she can be with her godmother and her cousins?
Let's move on to Rose.
Rose was a glaring replacement for Sybil, even if they were quite different people. And so, Rose was a replacement for Sybil in Mary's life too, although in this case, Mary was a parent figure for Rose.
Nothing makes this more obvious than the case of Mr Ross.
https://preview.redd.it/u6982bqg3o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6098e04b085d08baacef34e3d58f46d06252c504
Mary *sees* Rose with Mr Ross at Robert's birthday, and in typical Mary fashion when she comes across a situation outside the ordinary, she freezes. But once she reaches a decision on what to do, she doesn't say anything. She doesn't judge Rose. Mary has been through this. She knows what it's like to be young and stupid. She knows Rose is consenting to what is happening, and that it's a different time from when she was Rose's age. So she doesn't interfere until it becomes necessary.
https://preview.redd.it/wxc8y28k3o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=777f6dc6c0dd54a49d2f741906beb023b59d4353
Enter Tom. In his very brotherly role, he immediately tells Mary, and not anyone else in the family, of what he saw. Btw, I love how he stands in front of her like a sergeant reporting for duty.
Because again, we reach out to the family of choice, and he trust Mary more than anyone else, more than Edith or Cora or Rosamund, to do what's right.
Tom, like the good brother he was, warns Mary of what he's seen.
Fellowes, then, very tellingly, puts two scenes back to back:
From Cora complaining to Mary of how hard it is to parent Rose and that she doesn't know what to do with her.
https://preview.redd.it/m4kzqzk54o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45c41145914deccaef4f420017dbc671ca0a9676
To Mary very expertly parenting Rose and making no fuss about it.
https://preview.redd.it/q5l61n974o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d76e7ed7d78b5f3fc240006a750c13418d4c80c1
She doesn't treat her like a child, she doesn't attack her, and she never betrays her confidence.
She says "I don't want YOU to lose control of YOUR life". She makes sure Rose knows that ROSE is her priority. Not the family, not her mother, not anyone else. And she makes it clear that she doesn't judge her for whom she loves.
And THAT gives Rose the comfort to confide in Mary when the time comes and tell her of her plan to marry Mr Ross.
https://preview.redd.it/cwbdrdp84o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee9e7a04c2c0a29b1b4d8d1627e15a120f4b7007
This evolves in a very similar vein to Tom and Sybil with the difference that there's no elopement so Mary doesn't need Edith to drive the car.
She treats Mr Ross with the same respect she treated Tom. And she even tells him she wouldn't have been against his and Rose's union if it weren't for the cruel world they lived in.
What I find interesting here, is that she respects Mr Ross for himself, more than for being Rose's choice in partners. Because she thinks it's ROSE, who is being unfair to him, in using him as a means to spite her mother, even if she cares for him.
And you can tell the difference by the way the scenes are setup. Rose stands before Mary like a child stands before their mother. Mary sits across from Mr Ross and they share a cup of tea like adults, and equals.
Eventually, Rose understands, and forgives her. And loves her, and expects Atticus to love her as well (he does).
https://preview.redd.it/ln9ztkia4o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f29ea4d3481ae99ae518f59dd4b8e2615ec389c3
So there you have it. It's almost like there's a string running through all these relationships, because all these people are bound together, and it's not because they're family. It's because there's positive emotions that keep them together and keep them in each others corner. And they're all about love and respect, between partners and between siblings and between cousins who are caught in a parent/child relationship because the actual parents in their lives are crap.
It's beautiful, and quite uncomplicated, and I like it's something we get to see on this show so much.

My previous post: https://www.reddit.com/Advice/s/NNkEtI6QeM
Hey, everyone. I just want to get someone else’s perspective on this matter. I am currently having problems at home between my parents regarding my girlfriend. I am going to link to my previous post that I made about the same topic. Again, for context I am a 23M from a Nepali family who immigrated to the US in 2011 at the age of 10. We have been living here ever since. My parents are both religious and traditional (my mom especially). Maybe knowing this will give it a bit more perspective about my situation.
After that post, my parents and I continued to have multiple arguments. The last one occurred when my mom brought up the topic again while I was in my room applying for jobs and editing my resume, just after I graduated from college. She said, “Is it always going to be like this? Are you just going to act like this?” I knew she was referring to the same topic, and I reaffirmed my decision, which I won’t change. When I said that, she yelled, “So, that girl is more important to you than your own parents?” I have never said that to them; it's my parents who think like that and give me ultimatums about everything. When she said that, I got up from my chair, opened my bedroom door, and asked her to leave because I wasn’t interested in arguing. She replied, “No, I’m not leaving. If you want me to leave your room, you can leave my house.” Then she added, “I saw her photo; she isn’t even that good-looking,” which made me lose my temper. My parents always criticize me, whether it's about my haircut, my clothes, the food I eat, my friends, or my weight (I am a bit overweight). I usually stay quiet because arguing feels pointless. My mom also admitted that she is racist and doesn't like my girlfriend because she is Hispanic and due to her socioeconomic background, none of which matters to me. Her comment really upset me, and I retorted, “You are not that good-looking either. Have you looked at your face in the mirror? You should before commenting on others' appearances.” I know I shouldn’t have retaliated, and that comment was disrespectful. Then my dad got involved. He is a 'my way or the highway' type of person. I said things to him in the heat of the moment as well. Then, I grabbed my keys and left the house for a few hours. Looking back, I regret responding, but they constantly push me until I snap, and then portray me as the disrespectful one.
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to my parents about my relationship. So, please let me know if what I am saying is unreasonable or bratty. “I hid my relationship with my girlfriend from you for the past 2-3 years. I should’ve been honest from the beginning, and I regret saying things I shouldn’t have when you found out; that was also my fault. My girlfriend is currently in a tough situation, but that doesn’t mean she'll be stuck there her entire life. She has committed to finishing college, and I trust her. Her family may not be what you envisioned, but we can’t choose our parents. It’s not her fault what her father was like; she can’t control his actions. Despite these challenges, she has moved out and is living on her own, putting herself through college. To me, that’s extremely courageous and mature. If I were in her shoes, I doubt I could manage all that she does. If you think she’s ‘bad’ or something, meet her in person and get to know her. You don’t have to do it right away, just sometime in the future. All I am asking is that you give her a chance.” But they don’t want to hear this at all.
All they keep saying is, “No family and no education—what is there to give a chance to? You say she is living on her own. So, does everyone else. You are asking for things that are impossible.” Now, I’m feeling defeated. The other day, I overheard my dad talking to my mom at dinner, saying, “I don’t feel like I have a son anymore. The only reason I've tolerated this much is because he was my son. I’m so frustrated with him. The only reason I am eating or going to work is because I have too. Or else I would’ve left for Nepal. If this were anyone else, I might have hurt them and ended up in jail or kicked them out long ago. Now, if he leaves, I would be distraught for a few weeks but I would get over it. If he ends up on the street, I would give him maybe a dollar or five out of my pocket and that’s it. I will never accept him as my son; to me, he is as good as dead.” Hearing this really hurt because I didn’t think my own father would cut off our relationship so quickly over something as simple as having a girlfriend from a different background.
Also, I do live at home with my parents. They have never asked me to pay rent, utilities, or groceries. I work 30-35 hours a week and pay for my own expenses. I have a car which is registered in my parents' name, but I pay everything on it except the insurance (my dad pays that).
So, Reddit, after reading what I've written in this post and the previous one, I'd like you to be brutally honest and tell me if I am an ungrateful child to my parents. I’ve been thinking a lot in this for the past month. I don’t believe I am ungrateful or spoiled. If there is something expensive that I want, I buy it myself unless my parents offer to pay. I also comply with everything my parents ask of me, and everyone who knows me personally always tells me I am an obedient child and very respectful. This is the only significant issue I have disagreed with my parents on, because they paint my girlfriend as a "worthless person" without ever having met or seen her in person.
Edit: Sorry, I got a typo on my title ;-;

I've dated this girl for a year, I can't believe shes gone. She broke up with me around the end of april, she broke up with me once before last year as well and I took her back because I felt what she just needed was a break. We were a long distance couple (she lived another city over, around a 2 hr 30 min drive). Even after we broke up for this final time she would still text me and call me on the phone to sleep with her on the phone and i ignored it because i was mad and felt like she was just keeping me around for validation. Around her birthday which was the 26 I called her and wished her happy birthday and said if she wanted me to see her to let me know and she did not, later on she had prom and sent me pics and i was acting dry because I still felt some type of way. The 29th was the last time we talked and she called me and told me how happy she was and said this is why we broke up yada yada and i was also dry and just nonchalant and she hung up on me. When we were long distance I wish I could've see her every now and then, but the money and car maintenance over time just makes it hard with the position Im in as a student. Half of the reason why is my fault as well as hers. She was a very insecure person and would always be on me about social media and let it consume our relationship (crying when she found out I have followed girls in our relationship, making me unfollow some every day, and some of them literally just being old friends, crying when she found out I comment under girls who are just mutuals posts whom mean nothing to me). I felt terrible and told her I'd stop but she said it didn't matter and eventually said she wouldn't deal with arguing with me about it all the time and broke up with me. I feel so immature. I had been falling out of love as well due to how needy and insecure she was and how she could even break up with me when she did last year. My friend gave me the hard facts and told me "See look, now go talk to those girls you were arguing with her to remove". She would also break up with me so often (would get back the next day), I did not think she was serious and our relationship just was not healthy with the amount of that happening and crying involved.
She had me blocked on everything but not tiktok, I checked her tiktok a few days ago and then I was blocked there too, which made me curious why. Was it her finally moving on and being done with me? Was she always checking my account and videos I reposted? (Was thinking it was this due to how I've seen her do it twice with the profile viewer feature). It made me curious and I had viewed her instagram on an alternate account and I saw a picture of her and her new boyfriend. My heart was shattered, my stomach was hurting, I felt so nauseous and I just could not breathe. This was the girl who said she would never date again for a long time after we broke up, who was my baby, and said that she couldn't see a life without me. We were our first everything. I was lucky to have such friends that called me asap to make me feel better and cheer me up shortly after I had seen that.
I feel like she was talking to this guy when things got tough between us or was already friends with him to be honest. She probably is going to the same school as him. I can't stop myself from checking her story and it's always her and her new boyfriend and the way they look at each other and the way she feels so happy hurts so much. I was so terrible and I feel like I lost someone who was one of many, it puts me in a state that makes me forget all of the negative things about her and our relationship. I keep acting delusional to myself just thinking it's a rebound and the reason being that she just cant be alone due to how much of an emotional person she was. But is it that or has she really just moved on? I have no idea why I am still waiting for her. After she has been with someone else, and let another boy lay his hands on her, I just can't see her as the same. I don't know what I would do if she came back to me.
There was cultural differences as well on top of that, she is Hispanic and I am from a Muslim ethnicity so it's not easy to just bring her and show her to my family. I have met her sister and shes met mine and thats about it. Me and her sister bonded when one time I was coming back from visiting my ex and my car broke down and she let me stay at her house while the car was getting fixed and even fed me and paid for the towing which i told her she did not have to do.
We had so many interests that were similar and alike such as our music, show, anime, and gaming interests and I don't think im gonna find someone like that again. What's crazy is that we broke up just before her birthday, and I never got to see her and celebrate that with her and give her my gifts. Which reminds me of all the stuff ive gotten her and shes gotten me and how much money I just wasted on her.
The maturity difference was also there. She also hated how busy I was with work and school and legit preferred me to be broke just to talk to her all day.