Hi!
I had certain body parts undergo laser hair removal using gentlemax pro from different clinics. Here are my reviews:
Wink - Underarm laser hair removal / Revlite laser whitening (interchangeable) - P22, 500 for 10 sessions, no expiration - I've used 8 out of 10 sessions so far. 6 sessions for laser hair removal, 2 for whitening. I also bought 1 session separately before prior to buying a package so nakaka 7 LHR sessions na ako as of writing. - Pros: NO cancellation fee. I've rescheduled same day, multiple times and they are patient. You can use the package to any Wink branch. Their staff are thorough and friendly. Very responsive sa viber. Tried both Podium and Santolan Branch. Very effective. 6 sessions pa lang and masasabi ko na 95% hair free na. - Cons: None so far except that they rarely have promos! Kaya more expensive than others.
Skinhouse Laser ( Pasig Branch) - Brazilian laser / revlite face (Promo for 12 sessions, 36k. Interchangeable between the two) no expiration - Also bought 2 individual sessions of upper lip laser hair removal for only 2.5k - Pros: Much more affordable than Wink for the same machine and often has promos. Just check their IG. Yung underarm LHrevlite sila, 21k for 12 sessions compared to Wink na 22.5k for only 10 sessions. Also effective like Wink. 6 sessions so far for Brazilian, and halos wala ng tumutubo. Makapal ang hair ko prior to availing their package kasi I never waxed down there before. For upper lip, only tried 1 session so far pero manipis naman na hair ko dito. Their revlite face (which can be used alternatively with Brazilian) is also nice. It whitened my upper lip hair haha kaya planning na after 2 sessions ng upper lip LHR, ok na siguro sa Revlite na lang - Cons: Package not interchangeable to other branch. More strict cancellation policies and 500 pesos for same-day cancellation
Kamiseta Skin - Also uses Gentlemax pro and they currently have ongoing 50% off promos for their laser hair removal packages until May 31! 5 sessions per package sila. 9k for underarms, 10k for Brazilian, 20k for full legs, 15k for full arms, 4k for upper lips, 12.5k for lower legs. Anybody who tried their LHR? How was it? :)

Hi everyone. I’m going on vacation in three weeks and have been wanting to get laser on my Brazilian area. I figured I would get my first laser treatment before my vacation to be as smooth as possible for the following two weeks.
However, I’m reading that for some, the hair grows back immediately and takes some time to fall out. I just want to be smooth for as long as possible for my vacation (also visiting my bf who I’m long distance with). Should I just wax before my vacation and start my laser treatments when I return after waiting a few weeks?
I am Mexican and have fair skin with dark, coarse hair so I fear I won’t be hair free very long after my first laser treatment. If it does take a while for the hair to fall out, should I time my laser appointment two weeks before vacation? If it takes a while for the hair to grow back, then I am happy to carry on with the laser as long as my skin is smooth at least while I’m on vacation. Any advice?
Thanks in advance!
Edit: I’m a Type III on the Fitzpatrick scale.

The YouTube Teen changed the rules. We are still earning $1,000 a day to stay in the insolvent, decaying galleria mall that has even the gigantic central skylight boarded up so we have no idea what time of day it is—part of the “social experiment,” according to the YouTube Teen.
Micah, who lost tenure track at SUNY Binghampton because of “a dalliance with a matriculated temptress from Hong Kong,” says the YouTube Teen is not using the term “social experiment” correctly.
Still, the YouTube Teen told us he’s going broke due to our astounding okay-ness with surviving on rank fountain water and rock-hard Mrs. Fields’ oatmeal cookies. Since we signed the four total pounds of legal waivers and were sealed inside the Walden Galleria, just two of the original six have dropped out: Lawrence, because he earned enough money to get his lupus properly treated, and Jessica, whose mind broke.
To date, the YouTube Teen told us—giggling, hair freshly permed, eyes substance-glazed, palm trees swaying lazily in the background on the giant monitor set up in the food court just for these check-ins—we have personally cost him $725,000. Which would be “valid as fuck,” except the Views have gone down and the various memory foam mattress and ejaculate-volume-enhancing supplement sponsors are grumbling. Viewers are becoming bored with the highlight reels edited together from the three hundred GoPro cameras bracketed throughout the mall above us inside small plexiglass boxes.
In the end, The YouTube Teen tells us, he is as beholden to the algorithm as we are to him. And so now, the snakes.
Non-venomous, mostly (the copperheads representing the BIG exception), and—the YouTube teen has assured us—all species native to the region. The YouTube Teen is committed to the Environment and will not upset the local ecosystem by losing track of an invasive snake. Should an eastern hognosed or striped racer escape the confines of the mall, it will be happy and healthy and find plenty of its preferred prey in the drainage ditches and fallow farmland surrounding the mall.
Micah has called bullshit on this, too. He is positive he saw a desert king snake, native to the Southwest, casually contorting its body up a slicker-wearing toddler mannequin inside GAPKids.
But the answer is yes: we have been bitten. A lot. Which is the point, I guess. Any rustling through the Mrs. Fields’ wrappers sends us running—usually into another angry snake’s hiding place, which, of course: more bites. Because of the highly-aggressive northern water snake, we don’t go near the fountain anymore except to risk a quick dip with our filthy TGI Friday’s pint glasses for a gagged-down gulp of gray-green water.
On a positive note, the views are up—not to their peak, when Jessica went into the eerily pristine Lids store on the second level and started setting Florida Marlins Official New Era fitted caps on fire before flinging them like frisbees into the Fredericks of Hollywood beneath the mezzanine on the level below, setting ablaze several plus-size Lara May Lace Babydoll Sleep Dresses that put off smoke so black and acrid that air quality and general visibility both went to zero for hours.
Susan, a single mother to two spectrum-diagnosed precious angels, was overtaken by the flames while holding her drinking cup—a giant plastic wine glass from Spenser’s Gifts reading I’M THE FUCKING BIRTHDAY BITCH—and it was melted more or less permanently to her hand. She has chosen to stay, though, despite the pain and embarrassment—“at least it will make sense one day a year!” Susan says, brandishing the blackened novelty cup and mangled, terrifying hand at us.
Jessica had to go, is the upshot. She also had to forfeit her earnings—attempted involuntary manslaughter of the other participants being one of the disqualifying circumstances outlined in the four total pounds of legal waivers. But it was far and away the best week views-wise, and we each got a large bunch of rubber-banded beet greens as a reward which we immediately devoured raw, sitting hunched on the dead escalator, our deepening anemia making us ravenous for the iron.
This is all to say, the snakebite highlight reels have “revitalized the channel” (Re: the YouTube Teen).
We all hate the snakes but Sylvie talks the most about how much she hates the snakes. She calls me “Kyle” but that’s not my name—I don’t tell her because I don’t want to embarrass her and I am in love with her.
Sylvie is not here for the money—Sylvie has a lot of money because she shares frequent online photos of her large and unique ass, which has had several popular songs written about it—but to pay penance and rehabilitate her image after she used some slurs when she assumed she was free to do so.
It’s unfair, Sylvie says. She would not have said those slurs if she knew there were any type of video or sound recording devices around. Plus, South Asian people should be able to take a joke. No sense of humor—that was another thing that was wrong with them.
I don’t tell her my granddad was from Lahore. Me and my sister called him Nana. He called me Chotu and would cut up mango slices for me until my hands were slick with juice.
But he’s dead now and he didn’t speak English (another thing Sylvie hates) and Sylvie is committed to being a Good Person. Also, I think she believes I am South American or Mexican based on her habit of calling me “Papi” when she occasionally forgets my name is Kyle (it’s not). It’s fine, though, because her heart is in the right place and it’s the least I can do to keep her spirits up while she “really does some listening and reflecting.”
One of the things I do with that in mind is assure Sylvie that you can barely see the snakebites on her large ass, which she also fears is getting smaller due to lack of proper nutrition. A little secret is that I would love her if her ass was even just a quarter its current size. And one day I’ll tell her that and she’ll look into my eyes and smile, and then I’ll tell her my name is Kader, not Kyle, and I don’t think she’ll even get that angry, like when I disagreed with her about the Moon Landing (I still basically think it was real).
Before Sylvie, I didn’t have a purpose of any kind. I came to be sealed inside the Walden Galleria in the same way everything happens to me: first something isn’t happening, and then it is, and I can’t really untangle the millions of decisions and non-decisions in my life that led me to any particular time or place. But I usually don’t feel any kind of way about why one thing happens and another doesn’t, unless something hurts me or makes me uncomfortable. Like snake bites, for example, which sometimes make me wish I was back at the apartment with my mom and my sister. Not that we really saw each other or talked much, except when we ran into each other in the kitchen while grabbing toaster strudels or a can of peaches before scurrying back to our separate little blanket nests and preferred online videos.
So when Micah asked me what sort of “outdated social mores” brought me to the mall, I didn’t have a good answer. The only thing I know for sure is that before the mall I wasn’t anybody and you have to have a lot of people know who you are or your life is bad.
This made Micah quiet (rare) and then he asked me what I liked to do in my life before the mall. I told him I liked to watch videos of crayons being made. Over and over again, I would replay the part when the still-warm, rubbery sheets of colored wax are scraped out of their troughs and forced through the metal, crayon-shaped molds. I told Micah I like to watch orange crayons get made best even though green is my favorite color. I don’t know why.
Micah said entropy is the natural state of the universe and the making of crayons flies in the face of entropy by creating order out of chaos, and this makes me briefly forget about my own mortality.
Probably? Micah’s smart so I believe whatever he says. Even when he talks (all the time) about how it should be totally fine for people in positions of authority to have sexual relationships with younger women who take their Intro To Natural Sciences course, even if these women’s command of English is not one-hundred-percent, and how that sort of thing is very normal because women are attracted to power and have been for millennia and it’s these later-in-life sexual conquests that people with minds like Micah’s are owed when everyone finally realizes how great and smart they are, especially after they had dog shit put in their backpacks pretty much every single day in seventh grade.
Micah also says it’s winter now. The owls that made their way into the mall in order to eat snakes have started nesting (having snake blood dripped on you from the track lighting above is pretty common). Nesting is a winter-time occurrence, according to Micah, instinct forcing its way through the temperature-controlled bubble of the mall.
After one of the owls attempts to make a nest inside a large fuse box and is electrocuted, we know it’s winter. The Macy’s end of the mall stinks of burned owl for three days and the heat and electricity are “completely donezo,” according to a text we receive from the YouTube Teen on the Communal Phone. But the YouTube Teen is very excited about the new dynamics below-zero cold will add to the social experiment. He also told us we can breathe a sigh of relief due to the long battery life and night-vision capabilities of the GoPro cameras, assuring us that the Channel will not experience any disruptions despite the pitch dark and intense cold that have settled in.
Also, we will still be delivered a freshly-charged Communal Phone every few days when the YouTube Teen’s Street Team comes to collect and replace the GoPros before delivering the spent ones to the overnight editorial crew. So we will still get our one hour of Internet access per day, per person, ideally to be spent in part or in whole on updating our social media and “driving engagement.”
Sylvie uses her time to share photos of her ass and also to monitor the activity of her competitors in the large-and-unique-ass influencer space. I usually give Sylvie my hour of Internet time so she has extra, even though lately I’d really like to see a crayon video so I can forget about the cold and dark. Instead, I watch Micah snap wooden Banana Republic clothes hangers over his knee in order to burn them in Sur La Table soup pots to stay warm. He struggles with this due to the dozen or so XXL Nike Dri-FIT athletic shirts he’s wearing, layered one on top the next, the combined girth of the jerseys preventing him from being able to touch one baseball-gloved hand to the other and get a good grip on the hangers for snapping.
It’s funny to watch, and I understand why the edits of Micah falling down while attempting simple tasks are gaining in popularity, but I don’t laugh. Micah didn’t laugh when I broke my nose after I tripped over the poncho I made from a Martha Stewart California King Duvet I found in Bed, Bath & Beyond.
The toilets have frozen solid and the Yankee Candle has become the new bathroom, the theory being that the Sweet Vanilla Horchata and Fresh Cut Rose candles, among thousands of others, would cover the smell. Nope. Instead, these aromas have combined with the odor of our waste to create a stench so overpowering and unique that none of us has the words to describe it. Susan came closest when she said it smelled like someone dumped a million of gallons of perfume into a sewage treatment plant
One day during Sylvie’s (my) Internet time, she lets out a howl. When I rush over to see if one of the snakes managed to somehow survive the owls or freezing temperatures and sink their fangs into Sylvie’s ass, she brandishes the Communal Phone at me and scrolls through photo after photo of gigantic-assed women enjoying a special, head-sized fried chicken sandwich.
Sylvie begins to weep with despair. The sandwich—a Limited Edition Drop from Arby’s that comes in a hand-hewn mahogany box emblazoned with the familiar cowboy hat logo—is so desirable that at least twenty people to date have been murdered during disputes in the massive lines snaking for miles outside the restaurants. Obtaining one is currently the greatest indicator of power, with various dictators from around the globe sharing photos of themselves enjoying the coveted sandwich.
Sylvie says she needs one of those sandwiches more than anything she has ever needed, and I tell her right then and there that I’m going to get one for her. She hugs me and kisses me on the cheek, and it is the best thing that has happened to me in my life.
Susan, waiting for her turn on the Communal Phone so she can video chat with her non-verbal precious angels, points her melted Birthday Bitch cup hand at me and reminds me that if I get caught sneaking out and back in, I forfeit my earnings like Jessica did. Attempted manslaughter and cheating are given equal weight in the four total pounds of legal waivers.
The Street Team is coming soon for a camera swap, so the next day I use my Internet time to look up directions to Arby’s—six miles if I cut through frozen fields and drainage culverts.
During the swap, a piece of plywood is usually left unscrewed at the doors near the carousel and the unblinking plastic horses watch me slip out as the Street Team removes the spent GoPros, creating a momentary video blackout.
It’s nighttime and the snow comes down not in gentle feathers but in tiny knives, given a painful velocity by the wind. The snow is in uneven drifts stretching out beyond the short distance I can see. I discard my Martha Stewart duvet-poncho after I trip for about the tenth time while crossing a corn-stubbled field.
After hours of leaning into the wind and snow, my steps slow to a frozen crawl. But finally, between a Valvoline and a Dollar Tree, the familiar glowing red cowboy hat shines through the slanted snowfall.
I fall through the doors and there is no one inside but a single, furious, pockmarked 20-something behind the counter. He glares hate at me and recoils from the smell of my unwashed body as I crawl up to the counter and order the special chicken sandwich.
Smiling for the first time, thin lips pulling up shittily around ratty teeth, he tells me they sold out days ago, and that I smell like shit. Which is true, but rude.
As I uncoil the Forever 21 Active Seamless Flare Leggings from around my face, though, Rat Teeth recognizes me—he is a fan of the YouTube Teen’s channel. He excitedly tells me he stole a sandwich that he has already promised to sell to the current Burmese dictator, but instead he’ll let me have it for free.
I think maybe I cry a little from gratitude as he goes out to his car to retrieve the mahogany box. But as he shakes off the snow back in the restaurant and I take the sandwich from him, Rat Teeth suddenly puts his arm around me and takes a photo of the both of us with his phone.
I ask him what he plans on doing with the photo. He says he will post it on every platform known to man so he can get “two truckloads of pussy” which he says will back up to his house now that he has proof he met me. I beg him not to—I tell him I’ll lose my earnings and be banished from the Walden Galleria and lose Sylvie if he posts the photo.
Rat teeth tells me tough shit, and I lunge for his phone. We struggle until I bash him in the head with the mahogany box and he has a really bad seizure, a halo of blood spreading across the bleach-smelling tile floor.
I grab the bloody sandwich box and run out into a corn field and back toward the mall. But I’m not sure which way it is, and the storm is way worse. I go slower and slower and I finally sit down and can’t go any more.
After a bit, I see Nana. He’s super pissed and he doesn’t say anything for a long time. Then:
“I think you would have benefited from some structure in your life,” Nana finally says without moving his mouth—he somehow puts the hot words right into my brain.
Yeah, probably. But I tell him that’s not really important right now because I’m gonna die.
“Eat the sandwich, Chotu.” Nana urges.
I tell him the sandwich is for Sylvie. When they find me, they will find the sandwich pristine and untouched and perfect. Then Sylvie will know what I did and she will love me. I tell Nana I need her to love me or everything will be pointless and so fucking stupid.
Nana shakes his head and clucks his tongue like he used to when he read his squiggly Urdu newspapers. And then I don’t see him anymore.

Hi everyone. I’m going on vacation in three weeks and have been wanting to get laser on my Brazilian area. I figured I would get my first laser treatment before my vacation to be as smooth as possible for the following two weeks.
However, I’m reading that for some, the hair grows back immediately and takes some time to fall out. I just want to be smooth for as long as possible for my vacation (also visiting my bf who I’m long distance with). Should I just wax before my vacation and start my laser treatments when I return after waiting a few weeks?
I am Mexican and have fair skin with dark, coarse hair so I fear I won’t be hair free very long after my first laser treatment. If it does take a while for the hair to fall out, should I time my laser appointment two weeks before vacation? If it takes a while for the hair to grow back, then I am happy to carry on with the laser as long as my skin is smooth at least while I’m on vacation. Any advice?
Thanks in advance!
Edit: I’m a Type III on the Fitzpatrick scale.

I had a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) a while ago, which involves liposuction. My doctor recommended setting up lymphatic massages for a certain amount of months at a certain duration to help with the “swell hell” and pain from the liposuction. I researched the best lymphatic drainage massage therapist in my area that does house calls and set up all of my appointments a full month before my surgery. He had great Yelp reviews, great phone interview, and obviously knew his stuff. After the surgery, recovery was rough. I was groggy AF and I felt like I couldn’t think clearly for months, due to medication, waxing and waning of pain, the emotional roller coaster that comes with a plastic surgery change, the works. The massage therapist was a little socially awkward but I never felt uncomfortable or unsafe and he was great for what I hired him for. Lo and behold, he worked at the same medical massage business as one of my best friends and I had no idea. It was a good two months of me using his services before I knew they knew each other. My friend said that my lymphatic massage therapist expressed an interest in dating her and she asked me what I thought. I was honest and said I didn’t think he would be a good match for her with his particular brand of social awkwardness, religious trauma (that came up in discussion during massage small talk) and the fact that he was in his 40s and still a virgin who had never been in any lasting relationship. In contrast to this 40-something virgin, my friend tends to intimately connect very quickly with people she dates. Friend also has religious trauma from the same religion, which I felt would be a very toxic mix. I shared all of these thoughts with her at the time and tagged onto the end that I would never get in the way of something she truly wanted.
She decided to date him. When she told me, I said “I really don’t think dating him is a good idea and I hope I’m wrong. Be careful. And please, for your own sake, don’t take his V card.” But they had already been dating a few days and it was too late, as they had already done the deed. Knowing his religious background and some of his beliefs, I facepalmed. Hard. They dated for about 3 months and then she broke up with him because she said it was a toxic relationship. No surprise there. She acknowledged that I advised against dating, without hearing anything akin to an “I told you so” from me. By this time, I had moved out of needing regular lymphatic massage and was using that massage therapist for monthly massage to manage pain from a spine surgery that had never been managed so well before this massage therapist; 4 years of constant tension in my back and the pain was finally resolving with how he was working on me. After the breakup, my friend demanded that I stop seeing him for massage therapy and I said no. That’s where I might be the AH. This friend is still mad at me 4 year later. I was offended that she would even ask me that because she knew how much he was helping me with my back, getting great results, I found him independently, vetted him independently, my body and overall health hadn’t been that good in years, and I advised against them dating in the first place because I saw problems in that pairing before they began and she did it anyway. So, why should I stop using his services? It didn’t seem logical to me why she was lumping me into their breakup. He quit working at the massage place that he and my friend had both worked at but he still had his independent mobile massage business, which I was using. I set boundaries with both of them: I never talked to him about her (he tried but I always redirected); I never talked to her about him (she also tried but not as much). After a short time, she said she felt unsafe that I was still using his services, even though I never allowed her to be a topic of conversation in massage sessions and I found him and hired him independently from her involvement and the only reason I was keeping him was because he was improving my physical quality of life like no other massage therapist I’ve had before. Friend eventually said she had to set the boundary that she would no longer be in contact with me while he was still in my life. That felt like an ultimatum, not a boundary, but I’m not sure of the difference in this case. Mind you, I had never once spent time with him outside a professional massage therapist setting other than of when they were dating and my friend invited me along to hang out with them. That happened only twice, to my memory. A part of me feels like I could be the AH, deciding to choose my own pain management over my friend’s emotions. Another part of me felt really triggered by this boundary/ultimatum that came out of nowhere because it felt like an attack on the one thing that helped me manage my pain. The way things have been going, even though I’ve moved states and have not been in contact with that massage therapist for years, the friendship will never truly recover. AITA? Is she the AH? Are we both the AH?

The latest and most thrilling season of English football would also be the most controversial. The amount of times we had issues with refs, VAR, red cards, and blown calls made the NFL refs seem like experts in their craft. Seriously, the best European football league can't even get a video review correct in less than 2 minutes and it drives everyone mad. We also had further proof of Rich 7 favoritism with the FFP punishments dished out. It was absolute chaos, it caused fanbases to melt down like Chernobyl, but it made for amazing shitposting. How did your team do?
Manchester City: Sigh, the Prem is not beating the farmers' league allegations after this. In some way, we all expected this. After their historic treble, everyone assumed City would take a step back. They weren't even the best team in the country and they still found a way to creep up into first place. Their fourth title in five seasons, six under Pep Guardiola. They still have a chance at a double, too. If you're still living in the "Fraudiola" camp, I suggest you touch grass. Do you know understand how fucking insane that is? Sure, you can say Abu Dhabi bankrolled him and now they may be paying for it dearly but that is serious contention for greatest manager of all time. This time he was up against the adversity, too. They went without KDB and Haaland for long periods of time. Phil Foden was rightfully voted PFA Player of the Year for his efforts in their absence. Julian Alvarez took massive strides in becoming the next great Argentine striker...when he can get into the team. Jeremy Doku showed flashes of greatness, and it might spell the end for Jack Grealish. Rodri was Rodri, Ruben Dias was Ruben Dias, you know the deal. Even academy kids made serious progress. Pep won the Champions League without Messi and with a real striker. He's now guided City to another title. Goddammit, can we please get someone to topple this monopoly?
Arsenal: You did it again...you fucking did again. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You thought you were becoming the reincarnation of Real Madrid. You ended up becoming the red version of Poch's Spurs. Some might even say that Spurs team was better than this team. Arsenal had the title in their grasp again. Then they sat back and drew with City, lost to Villa at home, and in the end, these results cost them. You bottled it again. Bukayo Saka had his best season ever. So did Martin Odegaard. Leandro Trossard made a case for a starting spot. Gabriel Martinelli was sporadic but effective. William Saliba and Gabriel locked down the backline. David Raya won the Golden Glove. Mikkel Arteta has a case for Manager of the Year (likely going to Unai Emery), and they still bottled it. We don't need to rehash how their European campaign went. You should've known Spurs were never going to give you that benefit of the doubt. Why would your local rivals help your title charge? At least you're back in the Champions League, and you showed you could shed some of those demons next campaign, so long as you don't match up with Bayern again. The painful truth is, you went trophyless again. How much longer is the goodwill with Arteta going to last? Doing this once? Forgivable. But twice? Unconscionable.
Liverpool: This was not how Klopp's Last Dance was supposed to go. One trophy, and the League Cup at that, is all Liverpool had to show for it. They hit the worst patch of rotten form at the most inopportune time. You might think losing games twice to Manchester United in a span of a week was bad enough, but to go to Italy and lose to Atalanta? And they kept a clean sheet?? Dear god, they made Crystal Palace look like prime Barcelona at one point. You are fucking cooked, and it shows. Darwin Nunez started to break out, then reverting to forgetting how to play the sport of football entirely. Virgil Van Djik's age showed. Ibrahima Konate shows flashes but is injury- and mistake-prone. Mo Salah is mentally checked out, and it showed with him in only scoring twice in the last 10 matches of the seasons. Him and Klopp arguing on the sideline was peak Liverpool banter era. You literally on the verge of a quadruple AGAIN and you scuffed the run... This team is going to need a massive reset, and that may mean cashing in a few aging stars. New manager Arne Slot will have an absolute gargantuan job ahead of him. With FSG's financial model, it'll be interesting to see who they bring in. But what do you about Mo Salah? Clearly his age is starting show.
Aston Villa: Unai Emery was sacked by Arsenal for "underachieving." When you see the job he did with Villa with half the budget he had at Arsenal and players willing to run through walls for him, you can understand how Villa managed to stay in the Top 4 most of the season. Ollie Watkins had his best season to date. Douglas Luiz become the third-best defensive midfielder in the league, and dispatched a few penalties. Niccolo Zaniolo played a smaller role and still contributed heavily to big wins. It wasn't ever perfect, and there are plenty of wayward results to point out, but Villa has got some of their old mojo back. Get ready, boys, you're going dancing next season. You'll be in the new-look Champions League for the first time since the 1980s. Don't forget: Villa has some European pedigree to them. Sure, it was back when the competition wasn't as fierce as it is now, but respect them. Otherwise all you Madrid fans are going to be shitting themselves when you rock up to Villa Park for the league stage.
Tottenham: Tottenham's season hit some very high highs, and some deeply low lows. A 10-game unbeaten streak to start the season ended with a four losses in a row. Injuries crippled all the progress they made. Ange Postecoglou's all-out attack works, but when it doesn't, it is absolutely terrifying to watch. Hueng-min Son had a nice comeback season. Richarlison finally came good for the club. James Maddison started out well enough and then had a fall-off for the ages, as did Pedro Porro. The backline of Cristian Romero and Micky Van de Ven showed they can be great but they need real discipline in midfield to balance out the high line. But there are still many players that can't get them over the hump. Not to mention, they were derailed by injuries all campaign. Make it 16 years since the last major trophy. Fifth seems fitting for a team still going through an identity and cultural reset. Some supporters think Ange isn't the one for the job. They often forget just how big of a rebuild is needed after losing Harry Kane and other core players over the past five seasons. Those are probably also the people that don't see the positive of the Tottenham money-making machine. Why win trophies when you can host NFL games? Sigh, I just want one Cup, is that too much to ask for? At least they clinched Europa League, I guess.
Chelsea: Todd Boehly will no longer be making the calls about Chelsea's transfers. That should make the fans a little bit happier. If you're keeping score at home, he's only got 1/30 of new signings right. Jury is still out on Enzo Fernandez, Moises Caicedo, Axel Diasi, Mykhalio Mudrk, Noni Madueke, and Levi Colwill. Mauricio Pochettino was trying to build something, but it was hindered by constant setbacks. A massive pile of injuries, extreme fan pressure, and underperforming players signaled it would not be another fruitful season for the Blue Lions. You got beat by a bunch of high school students in the Carabao Cup final, and somehow that wasn't the lowest point of the season. It was the thrashing by Arsenal. Chelsea should feel lucky they snagged Cole Palmer out from under Man City. He's the real Eden Hazard regen, even though he's a bit of a penalty merchant. He dragged Chelsea from finishing outside the Top 10 again. This summer will be a major clear-out. Raheem Sterling, Reece James, Ben Chilwell, and Thiago Silva might or are already leaving. The thinner squad will allow Poch to actually build something...maybe. You're not seriously going to sell Conor Gallagher to Spurs, right?
Newcastle: Eddie Howe can feel sort of vindicated that he guided this Newcastle team to a top 10 finish. They had one of the worst injury sheets in the league this season. The delicate balance of Champions League and the English season exposed their biggest flaw: not enough depth. Sandro Tonali getting suspended for being a degenerate gambler definitely did not help. Nick Pope was out most of the year and Martin Dubravka showed why he's no longer first-choice. Sven Botman and Dan Burn spent time on the sidelines and that killed their defense. Seriously though, they were chucking out Football Manager regens to play critical minutes. That only works in video games. In reality, the club is backed up against the FFP bubble. They will need to sell to buy, and that might mean cashing in on Alexander Isak or Bruno Guiamares. Maybe they'll even cut ties with Tonali and try to recoup some of their money. The richest club in the world is playing inside the rules? I guess they don't want to be the new Man City. I honestly commend them for trying to play within the confines of the rules. Some clubs can't say they do that.
Manchester United: Jim Ratcliffe really had no idea the scope of the rebuild he inherited once he bought his stake in United. He called out the club culture and facilities in the media multiple times, but perhaps it was all reactionary. United had a shit season. And boy do I mean shit. None of their players could stay healthy. Marcus Rashford is entering Dele Alli territory with how bad his falloff has been. There was the Mason Greenwood situation, then the Antony situation, and the Brazilian managed only two league goals across the whole season. Jadon Sancho called out Ten Hag's management and was gleefully banished back to Dortmund, where he started picking up his performances. He's in a Champions League Final...lol. Casemiro and Raphael Varane showed their age. He had a solid run of form but it didn't last. Varane's already said he's done in Manchester. Rasmus Hojlund took 15 games to find his first goal of the season. Alejandro Garnacho is now the best player at the club and even he had beef with Ten Hag's coaching. Bruno Fernandes might be seeking greener pastures. They finished dead last in their Champions League group and were out of Europe by February. Take solace in making the FA Cup final, but you were losing 3-0 to Coventry City, a Championship club, and had to beat them on penalties. Old Trafford may truly be falling down, and it doesn't help with Ten Hag waffling about he is still the best man for the job. Because you know, it was his signings that set the club back so much money. Antony costing 100 million quid needs to be investigated. There's no real sign of progress under INEOS's ownership. It's still too early to judge, but it's clear they will need to make some decisions. Enjoy raiding all your rivals for executives. Apparently "We're Manchester United" still works.
West Ham: Was it a bad season for West Ham? When you deep it, you'd probably say not really. David Moyes started out kinda slow but managed to get the Hammers going in vital moments. Jarrod Bowen continued his remarkable rise even as a center-forward. The pillage of Ajax for Edson Alvarez and Mohamed Kudus was fruitful, even if Kudus's underlying numbers aren't that great. James Ward-Prowse stepped up his game after being freed from the shite coaching at Southampton. Alphonse Areola cemented himself as the true No. 1 in goal. Lucas Paqueta was the real eye candy. So much so he's looking like the heir-apparent for Kevin De Bruyne. He'll cost another small nation's GDP but he was that class. Sure, they didn't reach the Europa final like they wanted to and got knocked out by Xabi Alonso's Leverkusen, but how can you say this was a disappointing season? Disappointing enough to tell Moyes he's done after this season? You're replacing him Julen Lopetegui? I know he did fantastic work with Sevilla, and you may see yourselves as the English Sevilla, but tread lightly. Did you see what happened between Wolves and him? Or what happened in his final season in Seville?
Crystal Palace: Today's top stories: Crystal Palace finished comfortably mid-table for the 11th season in a row. In other news, grass is green. It was a strange but similar season for the Eagles. Spats between ownership over the long-term vision for the club coupled with Roy Hodgson's depressing retirement tour clouded what could've been an opportunity to pounce. With Brighton and Bournemouth shitting the bed, the time was prime to strike. But again, they were let down by inconsistent forwards. Jordan Ayew and Jean-Phillipe Mateta are still struggling to score consistently (At least Mateta is producing now). Odsanne Eduoard is made of glass bones and paper skin. Eberechi Eze, Michael Olise, and Dean Henderson were good enough to keep them afloat. Eze's got enough street cred to have City and Spurs linked to him, but we'll see what premium the Eagles charge. More credit is owed to Oliver Glasner. He was a shrewd appointment, and it showed with his tiki-taka style of play. Remember, he took Frankfrut to a Europa League final win and beat Barcelona and West Ham to do it. Next season should be a moment to capitalize on drops in quality from other mid-table rivals, but you'll probably be back here with me in 2025 with a 12th consecutive mid-table finish. At least this time it's in the Top 10.
Brighton: Brighton was my biggest disappointment for the 23-24 season. Maybe that's too harsh, but what the actual hell happened? There was a lot of squad turnover, understandably affecting the quality. But they still had Evan Ferguson, Karou Mitoma, Lewis Dunk, Danny Welback, Julio Enciso, and Simon Adringa to pick up the slack. Oh wait, almost everyone listed above was injured long-term. Roberto De Zerbi's managerial stock took a massive blow. He couldn't properly juggle the league and European football, especially as the injuries piled up and they were relying on academy kids to play key minutes. There's also rumors of him beefing with club executives about the transfer policy. The drawback of such a unique system: the falloff is inevitable. It ended up causing "irreconcilable differences," and De Zerbi promptly packed his shit and left. At least Brighton can take solace knowing they won their first European group stage and picked up sensational victories against Ajax and Marseille. Proud moments amid a rather shite season. Pick yourselves up and go again, lads. Even though De Zerbi bounced, your ownership will already have his next candidate picked out. Just pray it's not a Graham Potter return.
Bournemouth: The Cherries had another fine season where a lot started to come together. I was skeptical about them parting ways with Gary O'Neil after the job he did, but Andoni Iraola was a shrewd appointment. He actually found ways to unlock Dominic Solanke. Not even Jurgen Klopp could do that. Antoine Semenyo appeared as a servicable mid-table winger. Luis Sinisterra brought the Colombian flare to the South Coast and proved he could be the country's next great hope. Some of the English lads like Lewis Cook carved out key roles, and did just about everything right to ensure another comfortable finish. Bournemouth really were not in any danger of going down. The blueprint is there. I doubt Iraola will be able to take them into European places, but I've been proven wrong by plenty of managers before.
Fulham: Another solid finish for Fulham. Look at you, not yo-yoing even amidst Tony Khan's ridiculous pro wrestling PR drama. The Jaguars of English football showed a lot of fight and a lot of class. The signing of the season is surely Rodrigo Muniz. The Brazilian revolution between him, Andreas Pereira, and the aging Willian was glamorous. Antonee Robinson played like a man reborn and may get a move to a bigger club. USMNT fans couldn't be happier. It was tough not seeing Tim Ream playing week in and week out but he's clearly slowing down and might need replacing. But you can't get rid of Tom Cairney! It's not allowed by order of the streets. I doubt Marco Silva will read this, but he may not even have a choice in the matter. Joao Palhinha likely played his final season at Craven Cottage. Even at his age, he's good enough to get into the Bayern or Arsenal first team. Cash in and replenish, you know the drill. They'll have a lot of work to do this summer.
Wolves: Gary O'Neil is a top manager for the jobs he's done with Bournemouth and Wolves. It was not an easy season for Wolves, but compared to past campaigns, this was fantastic. O'Neill successfully unlocked Hwang Hee-Chan and Matheus Cunha. That alone is massive. Toti Gomes flourished in midfield. As did Pablo Sarabia. Pedro Neto showed flashes of brilliance...when he wasn't struck down by injury. Jose Sa returned to form and kept the team comfortably floating between between the top half and upper-mid talbe. What more can you say of Wolves? They were one of the better mid-tier teams this season, and that was after Julen Lopetegui walked out just days before the season began. You thought the Wolves were dead? Oh no, they are still on the hunt. Unfortunately, their pack is likely to find new homes with more money. I think you get the metaphor.
Everton: It was meant to be a Sean Dyche masterclass. Playing attractive football has never been his repertoire, yet that was exactly what he did with this Everton. Meanwhile, Everton fans are still steaming about the points deductions they underwent. I can understand why they feel this way, considering there are much worse violators and they're being made an example of. Yet Dyche thrives on these situations. He could only collect so many points with this Everton group but they did play well enough and have some decent talent. Jared Branthwaite is clearly an upgrade over some of their past center-backs. Consider this his window-shopping season. DCL flirted with injuries and still managed to score key goals. Beto hasn't come good yet but give it a little time. Idrissa Gana Gueye played well for his age, and Amadou Onana too had his window-shopping season. Fear not, Toffees. Even with the points deduction, you will finish comfortably bottom-half, and had it not been for the Premier League's hypocrisy, you would've been as high as 12th. This is a huge moment, because you're also moving into Bramley Moore next season. Godspeed, Everton.
Brentford: Ummm, hello? Anybody here want to win a fucking football match? Anyone want to collect three points? The good vibes at the Gtech Community Stadium are starting to falter. Brentford's feel-good story is starting to get a reality check: they lack significant quality. The plan was to continue Thomas Frank's Nordic Connection since it had produced results in the past. They got Ivan Toney back around mid-winter, but did it really change their fortunes? He wasn't anywhere close to his past self. Too much time on the couch will do that. Yoane Wissa and Bryan Mbuemo did step up in attack, but without Rico Henry and Ethan Pinnock in defense it was too easy to carve through them. Mark Flekken did his best to mitigate the damage, but it was not enough to save them from a 16th-place finish. Nathan Collins was ok business but he clearly needs more time to develop to the system. Sergio Regulion put in some decent shifts on load, but not enough to justify keeping him permanently. You passed: DON'T! GET! RELEGATED! But for the love of god, please fix this shit before 24-25. Time to reset on the squad, find another plucky veteran willing to take a pay cut for playing time.
Nottingham Forest: Speaking of points deduction, nobody feels bad for Forest. They made more signings than Chelsea and clearly did it by some fishy means. It was mostly because they couldn't get Atletico Madrid to buy Brennan Johnson, so they had to accept Tottenham's lower offer. That doesn't excuse past transgressions. Then that wild social media statement that called out the Premier League's officiating. Secretly, everyone loved it but also wondered how they had the audacity to say such a thing. The only thing they can't defend is themselves. Steve Cooper, the architect of their return to Premier League and first-season survival, was canned for Nuno Espirito Santos. It kinda worked...I guess. They're not in a relegation spot even with their punishment but they definitely look the part. Gio Reyna came here on loan and had minimal impact. Morgan Gibbs-White looks good but clearly has flaws. Chris Wood is still their only reliable striker. Matt Turner was benched for a 32-year old Mats Sels and that didn't fix any of their goalkeeper problems. They're like a frat house toilet: always leaking. They'll definitely be another clear-out this summer.
Luton Town: At some point, results start to matter. It felt like Luton realized that too late. They did put up some impressive results like a 4-4 draw to Newcastle and a 4-goal dismantling of Brighton, but they struggled mightily. It was expected, but they really did give better teams runs for their money. Ross Barkley and Andros Townsend came off the couch to help. Barkley made a case for Comeback Player of the Year. Townsend provided some experience but football skills...not so much. Elijah Adebayo and Alfie Doughty tried to get the creativity going. Carlton Morris managed to post a double-digit goal season. They had pieces but could never put it together fully. The defense...good god, the defense! It couldn't stop a beach ball from going over the goal line. You brought in Daiki Hashioka to stabilize things, and all he did was score own goals and turn the ball over. It's sad that Luton is going back to the 2nd tier. Rob Edwards's job is probably safe, but can he remake the magic of 2022-23? Might be a step too far. Honestly, I'm more sad to see Jeffrey the Labrador go. The goodest of boys makes the goodest of club mascots.
Burnley: I can only applaud Burnley's ownership for not thinking like a yo-yo club. They chose Vincent Kompany because he is the anti-Sean Dyche. Free flowing, tiki taka football, playing out from the back with inverted fullbacks. Even if all the haters wanted to see him go to bring in a relegation dogfighter like Big Sam, the executives kept their man. Truly cut from the same cloth as Pep, but without any of the Pep players. That was the real downfall of Burnley's return to the Prem. This group won 101 points in the Championship last year? They didn't even manage to get 30 this time around. Kompany played anti-survival ball, and it didn't work. Sure, they had talent with guys like Vitinho and Jacob Bruud Larsen, but after it was shite through and through. At least Kompany had the audacity to play an expansive style, but survival needed more defensive rigidity. Go win it again, Clarets.
Sheffield United: If Burnley was ass, Sheffield United was mega-ass. They played like a Championship club, so it's only natural they got clobbered like a Championship club. They brought in Ben Brereton-Diaz and his fake Chilean skillset and he was...actually kinda good. It can't be said for the rest of them. Ollie McBurnie and Cameron Archer seem like the standouts, but nobody on this team was convincing enough to warrant a move to a bigger team except maybe BBD. He'll likely sign for Everton as the replacement for DCL. The club thought bringing back Chris Wilder in place of Paul Heckingbottom was the move, and it did next to nothing. Setting a record for most goals conceded in a single season is hilarious levels of incompetent defending. Conglats, you are now the new Norwich. Wear your badge of shame in anguish and go win the bloody lot in the Championship.

I'm new to detailing and just learned about rinseless washes today. Amazing stuff.
I also came across this video by Scott from Dallas Paint Correction and I'm a little bit confused.
He points out two issues with ONR:

1. The protective polymer residue left behind can actually scratch cars with "soft paint" when you go to buff it out.
2. Rinseless washes are great for emulsifying dirt, but they won't remove non water-soluble road contaminants like brake fluid, transmission fluid, etc.

To address these issues, he proposes 1) not using ONR on cars that can be easily scratched or that have black paint and 2) using a degreaser after using ONR, and then a spray wax after the degreaser to protect the car rather than relying on ONR's polymer residue protection.
But then in a later video, Scott forgoes the degreasing entirely and demonstrates his improved rinseless method on a black car where he sprays a polymer wax before using ONR. He's using the wax as a kind of lubricant to make the ONR application even safer. But what happened to needing to use a degreaser? And what about not using ONR on black cars?
Even more confusing, in another earlier video, Scott actually applies degreaser first, rinses it off with a power washer, and then applies ONR. Does the order not matter...?
Then of course there's everyone else who seem content with just spraying a pre-wash layer of ONR before doing the contact wash, no degreaser, no pre-wax, nothing fancy.
I get that Scott's experimenting with different techniques and adapting over time and that the videos are shot with years between them, but as a viewer, I'm left confused. Should I be using a degreaser when I use a rinseless wash? Are rinseless washes safe to use on black cars or vehicles where scratches show up easily?
Thanks everyone for helping me learn!

Waxing rash or allergic reaction ? Help pls!
I started waxing I did a Brazilian wax but then my skin broke out all over and it’s dark bumpy and itches/burns to the touch. Does anyone know what went wrong and how to heal it back to normal?! This is the 2nd time this has happened after a wax but I never happened before then.

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj7kc/roundup_ufos_anomaly_network_app_countries_colors/
Archive
Moon phase waxing crescent, three days before half
Mars Right Ascension 0h 37m 40s
.1 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjbim/strange_explosions_in_the_sky/ sighting description, no craft, at home, urban area, England the UK 🇬🇧, nighttime, flareup, appeared out of nowhere, explosion, it was like an ourburst, almost like when a coronal mass ejection happens, the explosion went one way, covering half a circle going outwards. , brief duration 1-2 seconds, repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, Around 5 min later it happened again, this time in another part of the sky., has anyone seen?
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjmwu/remote_viewing/ discussion of remote viewing, perplexing success, I’ve been playing a remote viewing app for two weeks and want to know how it is working. I keep getting it right.
.3 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqj2p8/strange_blue_cloud_over_bostonquincy_last_night/ video, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, blue 🔵, from car, stationary, urban area, near Boston, quincy Massachusetts
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj6la/a_look_into_the_special_tactical_unit_detachment/ original research, documents, "Special Tactical Unit Detachment" , S.T.U.D.S. within Air Force budget requests
.5 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqktez/immense_beam_of_light_moving_across_the_moon/ sighting description, moon anomaly, contemporaneous report, has anyone seen?, pale white beam almost imperceptibly across the face of the crescent moon, traversing the face of the moon, vertical orientation
.6 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqltyg/great_basin_experience/ sighting description, Great Basin National Park in eastern Nevada, nighttime, unusual animal activity Western Jay comes out of nowhere and gets mad at my presence. He's sailing around my head, making a racket. Normally I love birds, but this thing is freaking me out. After 5 minutes of this it flies away into the distance., subsequent single light object, ascending from horizon, approach, silent, duration 8 minutes,
.7 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqm8s5/uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, very bright, contemporaneous report, northern lights, moving fast, silent, beetle 🪲 shape,
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqz2hb/all_the_relevant_uap_updates_from_may_612/ information, state of disclosure USA https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqd2yw/mexican_and_peruvian_ufo_hearing_roundup_slow/ state of disclosure, Mexico and Peru
.9 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqv3p4/seen_above_my_house/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, over the witness home, silent, right angle turn, ascending, west coast of scottish highlands near the Island of Mull, Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, contemporaneous report, similar sighting same day in comments https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crqcay/unknown_in_sky/ video, single light object, low over treeline, plane for comparison observed, over Oban,Scotland, downvoted to zero
.10 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmotu/ufo_in_linekin_bay_boothbay_harbor_maine_847pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving slowly, kept moving in short bursts and pausing in one spot. Then moved again. , moving and stationary and moving, subsequent repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, over water, linekin Bay, Boothbay harbor Maine https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1oml/ufo_linekin_bayeast_boothbay_harbor_maine_5112024/ more video, previous night
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmwax/hoping_this_sub_can_identify_what_i_saw_today/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, central Illinois, Duration 20 seconds, single dark object, possible manta shape, all black and shaped like a bird, moving fast and straight, disappeared into clouds, silent, similar sighting same day in comments
.12 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ sighting description, at work, entity, OP is a university professor currently, previous career in aviation, landed craft, crash retrieval, acorn 🌰 shape, shaped like a dreidel without the handle., The shape was directly informed by its purpose. Every shape is custom molded in a metallic material that would revolutionize the way we travel if we had it. , I'll call it crash recovery because that's what colleagues who are planning to come forward will call it, shootdown, the NHI look like the aliens from close encounters. As far as I know, we never had one alive.,NHI know we can track them, and know how to avoid us.,NHI are linked to their craft in a way that borders on biological. Security rule is people that mention the agency name are killed. It's not a question, and it happened during my time. You'll hear more about them as news about the retaliation Dave comes out., If the US comes out directly and says "We have craft, we have bodies", it means we are on the verge of a serious global conflict like we've never seen before. [GOODPOST], removed by mods, "NORAD leak", https://web.archive.org/web/20240513180353/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ Archive https://web.archive.org/web/20240514184514/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ updated archive https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cvs93o/new_paradigm_media_group_claim_that_an_uap/ hopefully unrelated
.13 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqs35h/what_do_you_think/ photo, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving fast, wavy trajectory, overhead, 5 second long exposure, Port Coquitlam - about 30 minutes outside of Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦, downvoted to zero
.14 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8pcu/what_did_i_catch_in_the_sky/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object stationary, just sat up there, duration a couple hours. And then it was gone.., vanished, Newport Oregon, near water pacific ocean, haze, disturbing the air around it, three witnesses , similar sighting in comments
.15 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr9qj4_strange_lights_moving_back_and_forth_while/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, Pocatello Idaho, threelights observed, flying in triangle formation, crossing directly in front
.16 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1clw/taken_over_a_lake_in_prince_edward_county_ontario/ video, nighttime sky, over water, lake, prince Edward County Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, twolights, appeared out of nowhere, stationary and moving slowly, descended below treeline
.17 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqreh8/very_bright_in_the_light_polluted_sky/ video, nighttime sky, single object blackwhite, low over rooftop, rockford Illinois, contemporaneous report, possible speed change, seems to maybe decelerate a couple times., very bright observed
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr6105/possible_uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, possible jumpy movement, speed change, seemed to really pick up speed then slow. , during northern lights, Eau Claire Michigan
.19 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr3ioe/capturing_the_light/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object moving, near water, lake Michigan , irregular shape, elongated, worm 🪱, haze,
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crboq1/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt1/ video, daytime cloudy sky, fleet, at home, urban area, kakaako neighborhood of Honolulu Hawaii, contemporaneous report, one large orb and several smaller orbs all floating in a formation. , smaller objects accompany it, flying in formation, disappeared into clouds https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbzky/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt2/ more video
.21 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbj6x/summoning_ufos/ discussion of human initiated contact
.22 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cqu4hw/saw_two_translucent_tailed_orbs_in_the_sky/ sighting description, has anyone seen?, nighttime, contemporaneous report, northern lights, duration 10 seconds, twolights, moving fast, trail, flying in formation, see through head with a long skinny white tail that left a trail of glowy light as they moved. One of them stopped moving, turned around then waited up for the other as it trailed behind and when it caught up they kinda just disappeared., northern Washington state near Canada 🇨🇦
.23 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crdy05/51024_sw_wa/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, single light object moving, at home, backyard, witness followed it, electronic effects camera battery died, possible speed change, possible trajectory change, disappeared behind rooftops, southwest Washington state, similar sightings same area and day in comments, [GOODPOST]
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cremtj/my_great_uncle_told_me_about_a_crash_retrieval/ sighting description, family story, crash retrieval, military, Salar de Uyuni desert Bolivia 🇧🇴 , USA military response, He described the ship to have flickering lights of several colors and saw the Americans retrieving some pieces from that ship, alongside some organic material that looked like deceased beings
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crgxgt/3_lights_in_sky/ photos, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, during northern lights, not seen by eye, Columbia South Carolina
.26 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crk806/orb_over_lake_while_watching_the_aurora_lights_in/ video, nighttime sky, over water, Elbow Lake Michigan, during northern lights, three witnesses, single light object, hexagon shape with a circular light in the center. https://old.reddit.com/useDry-Ant3194/comments/1crwmun/screenshots_of_orb_over_lake_2nd_photo_shadow_was/ screenshots , multicolored, haze, cloud of all the colors dancing around it., duration 2 minutes
.27 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crkaw4/some_advice_plz/ sighting description, two witnesses, nighttime, from car, Bourbon County Kansas, single light object stationary, low over treeline, reaction to being observed, approach, flareup, light shining in car, directly in front, went from a fixed position in the trees to nearly in front of my truck while at the same time focusing what I can only describe as the brightest light I'd ever experienced at night before. , jumpy movement, missing time
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crjw5j/extremely_bright_light_flying_towards_my_plane/ sighting description, from airplane, single light object, approach, over water Atlantic Ocean, daytime cloudy sky, light shining in airplane, physical effects paralysis, As I first saw the light my first reaction was that I froze for a few seconds in confusion. , interaction with airplane, flew overhead, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, duration 10-12 seconds,
.29 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crh1go/recreating_something_i_saw_when_i_was_young/ childhood sighting description and reference image, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, threelights, barbell shape, outside window, stationary, duration 10 minutes, audio description loud buzzing., emotion of fear, witness left the area, new Hampshire
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8ir4/seen_in_cornwall_uk/ photo, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, disappeared, possible single object blackwhite, possible camera artifact, not seen by eye, at home, Cornwall the UK 🇬🇧
.31 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crusrv/seeing_strange_things_while_recording_the_arora/ video, nighttime sky, fleet observed, multiple objects, one following another, LOTS of strange glowing round things. They would appear for 20-30 seconds and float across just a small area, and then they would disappear., each duration 20-30 seconds, Chattanooga Tennessee
.32 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crzbcg/i_need_help_to_try_to_understand_what_i_saw/ sighting description, Sao Paulo Brazil 🇧🇷, nighttime sky, single light object, blinking, stationary, duration 10-15 minutes, The light would turn off and on in a regular interval (around 13 seconds)., repeat visitor, contemporaneous report
.33 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cr8t6q/am_i_seeing_things_round_2/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, doughnut 🍩 shaped, moving straight
.34 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crmukh/speaking_owls/ childhood sighting description, sister of OP, at home, nighttime, outside bedroom window, entity, owl, communication, repeat visitor, family history, her eldest son (who was around 7-8 at the time) woke the house up screaming. He was terrified and shaking and she asked him what happened and he told her an owl came and spoke to him “in his head.” , telepathy, emotion of fear
.35 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crhdyo/my_cousin_and_i_charged_a_shadow_figure_when_we/ childhood experience description, three witnesses, entity, shadow figure, combat, My cousin and I looked back at each other and my cousin just screamed at me “LETS GET HIM!”. Before I could say anything my cousin just bolts at this guy, and I ran right behind him., witness followed it, it was not running fast at all, the way it ran looked super weird, its kind of hard to explain, its limbs moved like a human, but it looked like it was running in slow motion. Its head was slightly tilted back as it was jogging, almost as if it was looking up at the sky. , looked away and looked back, vanished
.36 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crlbtp/what_do_you_think_of_this_experience_visitation/ experience description, at home, nighttime, inside bedroom, witness woke up, audio description high frequency sound in the room, almost like when something electrical is plugged in and you can just hear it. A neon sign kind of. , approach, very loud, It stops, and I start to hear this rustling coming from behind me, I think, “What the fuck IS that??”, wtf_is_that, communication, I get a flash of a sentence through my head that doesn’t feel like a thought from me but a message from someone else: “Don’t be scared.”
.37 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crnkz7/cool_dream_about_ufos_in_a_hanga dream description, UFO's being shown to a group of people, it was in a very large hangar, the alien body was probably about 7ft that was lying down and the craft was tiny, maybe the size of a small table., the craft would expand towards the 3 pilots to become much larger, using their minds to do this, it would then mold to their forms to enable a space to pilot it, the material was almost like a moving graphete.
.38 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crfo0y/did_i_see_a_ufo_anyone_got_a_logical_explanation/ sighting description and reference image, circular shape, at home, nighttime cloudy sky, spinning, The patterns/shapes/geometrics that made up the circle were ones I had never seen before, The Circle was spinning non stop and it was like the outside of the circle would collapse into the centre and then it would come out again to full size, has anyone seen?
.39 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1crs234/was_trying_to_get_a_photo_of_the_northern_lights/ photo, nighttime sky, during northern lights, urban area, Glasgow Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, not seen by eye, fleet or single object multiple lights, green 🟢, hoax
.40 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cqx075/3_lights_in_the_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, red and green 🔴🟢, low over treeline, camping, outback Australia 🇦🇺 , zigzag movements or wavy trajectory, moving from side to side going at some speed but as I took that photo they disappeared., reaction to being filmed, vanishing
.41 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cs2rhi/lost_time_in_western_mass/ experience description, missing time, two witnesses, from car, the McDonalds in Hadley Massachusetts, there’s quite some fog. But that area has fog from time to time. And all the cars except for ours in the lot were gone too, automobile anomaly, old early 2000s suv pulled into the lot with zero noise. No engine sound, I didn’t noticed the light until it pulled over to my right front spot. It kinda seemed it just slide in with no friction or anything. , location anomaly, we somehow got into the lot across the street,,didn’t seem to take longer than half an hour., more than 3 hours just passed.
.42 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1crz21q/an_unknown_red_circles/ photo, nighttime sky, two objects, anomalous to witness, red 🔴, near water, Black Sea, 30 second long exposure
.43 reference ISS https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1cru96d/iss/ photo, nighttime sky, international space station
.44 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cro1y6/we_lost_about_4_hours_of_time_in_30_seconds/ experience description, around the Northampton - Luton area the UK 🇬🇧, from car, four witnesses, camping, went through a tunnel, 4 hours had passed in 30 seconds,
.45 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crldxd/sound_from_woods_in_pnw/ audio description, at home, outside, near water, hottub, backyard, pacific northwest, high pitched, smooth who sound. Almost like someone was singing the word “who”. But with a very elongated “ooo” noise. , brief duration 2-3 seconds, physical effects paralysis and goosebumps, repeat visitor, made two passes, has anyone seen?, similar experiences in comments
.46 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crky49/more_in_depth_story_from_northern_alaska/ experience description, northern Alaska, multiple witnesses, nighttime, at home, felt observed, In the willows stood 4-6 small people. They looked like anyone else in the village, but they wore clothes made of skins rather than newer materials brought in. Their eyes glowed and one bared its teeth. Thinking about this just freaks me out., in comments: The navy on Guam has a problem with the little people entering the navy magazine where they store a huge amount of ammo. The marine guards would see them constantly., entities
.47 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1crdvlz/petrified_and_floating_out_of_window/ experience description, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, light shining in bedroom window, physical effects paralysis, witness was pulled, I floated out of my bed and towards the bright light in the window and shortly after I have no memory., event amnesia, emotion of fear, eyes teared up, it is the most terrifying feeling I have ever experienced. I’m crying just thinking about it., similar experience in comments
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cs7jje/fast_moving_ufo_seen_in_north_vancouver_051024/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving and stationary, jumpy movement, possible trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, duration 14 seconds, moving erratically observed, during northern lights , OP comments downvoted
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csc0o6/ufo_spotted_on_flight_to_newark_nj/ sighting description and video, nighttime cloudy sky, from airplane, contemporaneous report, over water Atlantic Ocean, single light object stationary and moving, subsequent threelights, Another light appeared right next to it and was glowing a bit brighter. A third light appeared from the right and went towards to the other two on the left. At this point the second light that randomly appeared on the left disappeared, the other two dimmed a bit and disappeared as well after another minute., dimming, vanishing,
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1css11t/odd_floating_object/ photos and video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single light object stationary, Bozeman Montana, duration 30 minutes, weather balloon? looks like a balloon with a nautilus style tail, white in the sun and gray with low cloud cover., weird shit, multiple witnesses
.51 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csui87/what_is_this_object_suspended_in_air_above_poland/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, elongated, trail, vertical orientation, contrails type, contemporaneous report, Szczecin Poland 🇵🇱, stationary, duration a couple minutes, low over treeline, downvoted to zero
.52 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cs6rj4/ufo_experience/ childhood sighting description, nighttime, at home, single light object moving and stationary, emitting orbs, Travelling at a slow and smooth pace. Until suddenly it stopped in position and ten seconds later two orbs shot out (or three) and darted across the sky like bees. , emotional reaction awe and wondor
.53 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csu1ex/saw_something_in_my_apartment/ sighting description, at home, entity, inside home, audio description chain jingling and a buzzing sound., I turn around and am immediately faced with what I'm going to describe as a gray, leaning around the corner with one three fingered hand touching the wall. It looks....insubstantial. Like it's made of smoke or fog., Southern Appalachia
.54 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csmf1w/strange_message/ experience description, no craft, at home, nighttime, communication, "kaptia kapta kesta", has anyone seen?
.55 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crpnrw/third_man_facto experience description, remote viewing, training
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csxiay/was_wondering_if_anyone_had_a_logical_explanation/ video, nighttime sky, single dim object, diffuse, low over rooftop, contemporaneous report, Rhondda Cynon Taff South Wales the UK 🇬🇧 , two witnesses, witness followed it, duration 30 minutes
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyfuv/honestly_dont_know_what_to_say/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving, blackwhite, multicolored, two witnesses, contemporaneous report, subsequent threelights flying in equilateral triangle formation, [GOODPOST], emotion of fear, witness left the area, Ireland 🇮🇪 , physical effects vibration
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyob2/purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an_interest/ sighting, OP is not the witness, witness is a pilot, black triangle 🔺️, from airplane , removed by mods, similar sighting in comments: All Black triangle, no lights, no sound, super low and almost floating (given how slow it flew over). It must have been landing at Joint Base Lewis-McChord https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cszn08/i_purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an/ reposted , similar sightings in comments, [GOODPOST]
.59 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctd4qs/new_jersey_ufo/ video, daytime cloudy sky, new jersey, twolights, two dark objects, moving slowly, bird for comparison, metallic sphere observed
.60 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctb72t/strange_train_line_in_brazil_and_argentina/ video, from home security camera, single light object, elongated, Rio de Janeiro Brazil 🇧🇷, link to similar sightings in comments
.61 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct569h/unidentified_object_next_to_us_apache_helicopte photo, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, at home, helicopter for comparison, single dark object, manta shape, bird?, downvoted to zero
.62 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5imq/ufo_sighting_when_i_was_a_kid_with_witnesses/ childhood sighting description, multiple witnesses, at home, nighttime, trampoline, British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, fleet, wavy trajectory, red 🔴, Three or four maybe five red lights, orbs, circles, moving like a snake across the sky but then dissappear., vanishing, repeat visitor observed, other witnesses said it came back later.
.63 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1ct62su/help_i_think_i_saw_some_aliens/ sighting description, three entities, at home, nighttime, animal reaction dogs barking, 3 little blurry things came out of the trees and then suddenly became viewable. There was 3 aliens that were as tall as oompa loompas. They were skinny so skinny almost like walking sticks with a square shaped figure. They had binocular shaped eye ridge and they had yellow eyes that were sunken in and looked slanted., emotion of fear, witness left the area, trying to run but i fell on the ground they stared at me, and did a dance. , dancing, physical effects eyes teared up,
.64 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1csw5nx/fast_ufo_over_federal_hill/ photo, daytime sky, plane for comparison, single light object, federal hill new jersey, similar sighting with video in comments,
.65 reference Sirius https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1ct9qvx/photographed_sirius_again_3rd_time_i_think/ photo, nighttime sky, the star Sirius, single light object
.66 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1ct3nhz/looking_for_possible_answers_on_what_this_light/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, single light object stationary, low below treeline, appearing and vanishing,
.67 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1csgkde/weird_artifact/ photo, nighttime sky, anomalous to witness, single light object moving fast
.68 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cs74p5/what_are_these_stains_on_my_pillowcase_quarte photo of pillowcase, anomalous bloodstains, at home
.69 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctijey/what_is_in_our_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, contemporaneous report, These "clouds" formed and moved opposite other clouds,
.70 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctlrfive_literally_just_spotted_this_spherical/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single dark object, elongated, possible manta shape or metapod, disappeared into clouds, sphere observed, kent the UK 🇬🇧, 51° 16' 47.9964'' N, angled from the horizon , repeat visitors , video shows electronic effects camera glitching or jumpy movement , moving straight, dead weight just travelling farther and farther as though travelling into space. , downvoted to zero in 1 hour, OP comments downvoted
.71 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5cdy/bright_orb_crossed_the_whole_sky_in_lancaster_ca/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored, orange 🟠 observed, near USAF, Edwards air force base, Southern California, three witnesses, during northern lights, very bright, completely silent and weirdly multi-colored / orange orb showed up to the far west over Lancaster and steadily moved eastward, over Edwards and disappeared over the eastern horizon.,
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctpjk8/what_is_this_object/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, diffuse, low over water, Central Finland 🇫🇮, yellowish, diffuse, moving slowly, looking around, [GOODPOST]
.73 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1ctnntx/i_just_saw_a_uap_for_the_first_time_now_what/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, fleet, circling each other, weaving, 9 white small dots all irregularly circling around each other at high speeds. The group moved from one end of the sky to the other in the space of about 5 minutes., plane for comparison observed, interaction with airplane, flew over plane, They appeared above the plane and to slow down when the plane passed., speed change, three witnesses, apathy in other witness, polarized sunglasses., possibly metallic, possible haze, urban area, Denver Colorado
.74 https://old.reddit.com/Skydentify/comments/1ctl6au/photo_from_my_hotel_room_in_denver_facing_west/ photo, nighttime sky, single light object, irregular shape, diffuse, angular, orange 🟠, contemporaneous report, no info from OP, urban area, Denver Colorado
.75 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctqx3k/strange_object_spotted_over_mod_base_raf/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving slowly and erratically, started flying around in different directions. , contemporaneous report, near air force base, the UK 🇬🇧, at home
.76 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctz4s640_res_thermal_uap/ video and drawing, nighttime cloudy sky, through thermal camera, repeat visitor, plane for comparison, contemporaneous report, Southern new jersey, previous sighting description single object elongated, oval-shaped, horizontal orientation, The bottom half of the oval had 3-4 circular heat signatures. It was about 2x bigger then the plane at 3:04 and maybe 2x closer. It was moving slowly., video shows single light object moving fast, moving straight observed https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuohxo/plasma_like_uap_on_thermal_monocula same OP, different event, twolights, two witnesses, elongated, V-shaped formation, merging, nighttime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, Blue Anchor New Jersey, OP comments downvoted, big debunker energy
.77 these were all removed, i guess https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ news, Vatican guidelines for supernatural events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu8xsc/newsnation_reporting_on_the_vatican_and_ufos/ more coverage https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu983a/vaticans_new_classifications_of_phenomena/ categories of events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ summary, guidance on how the Church should approach and discern supernatural phenomena, like visions and apparitions.
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cua35x/interesting_lights_in_the_sky_near_san_jose_51424/ photos, near San Jose California, nighttime, not seen by eye, single light object moving, trail, haze, shape change, near water, Calaveras Reservoir
.79 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cu4k43/vivid_memory_of_the_sky_exploding_help_me_figure/ childhood sighting description, two witnesses, at home, backyard, daytime, single light object, directly in front, massive ball of flames dead center in the sky. It looked like a big plane had exploded but it was very slowly still moving across the sky. , There were reds, oranges, and very bright yellows 🔴🟠🟡 coming from it, haze. And it was HUGE, like, the size of my palm but in the sky. , emotion of fear, witness left the area, audio description huge booming exploding sound, physical effects vibration, I can feel the sound wave hitting us., Southern Florida, Columbia space shuttle?
.80 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu64ri/my_girlfriend_saw_a_ring_of_flashing_lights_in/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, fleet, circular formation, diffuse, spotlights type, low over rooftop, urban area, Kuala Lampur Malaysia 🇲🇾, downvoted to zero
.81 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cucswq/strange_shuny_spheres_in_the_sky/ childhood sighting description, Canada 🇨🇦, daytime, multiple witnesses, fleet, blackwhite, approach, flew overhead, multiple objects grouped and floating together. They looks like perfect metal spheres about the size of beach balls. , metallic sphere, flying in formation, duration a few minutes
.82 https://old.reddit.com/signalidentification/comments/1cuay5a/144_mhz_weird_mirrored_signal/ signal anomaly, possible twolights
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cue2zz/you_want_disclosure_come_to_brazil/ how-to, self disclosure, Brazil 🇧🇷
.84 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cueec7/think_i_just_had_my_first_ufo_sighting_today/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, daytime, twolights, I noticed in the sky a metal object, then I noticed one behind it, a few meters apart. silent, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, England the UK 🇬🇧, duration 3-4 minutes., cylindrical shape
.85 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cug426/can_anyone_explain_what_this_is/ video, nighttime sky, threelights, close line formation, horizontal orientation, horizontal trajectory, moving fast, low over treeline, from car, powerlines,
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuhrz9/i_took_this_video_of_ufos_in_the_night_sky_above/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, through infrared scope, near windmills, fleet, diffuse, moving fast and slowly, trajectory change, U-turn, circling, moving and stationary, spotlights type, at home, outside bedroom window, triangle formation,
.87 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/1cuhsz7/stranger_told_me_knowing_what_is_on_top_of_saturn/ experience description, contemporaneous report, mysterious stranger, the planet Saturn, he asked me "do you know what is there?" I replied "no". He told me to look up "Saturn from the top view" and said that it's going to open my eyes and change my life.
.88 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1cufrqh/encounter_with_a_black_wolf_creature_in_the/ dream description, repeat visitor, entity, Tennessee, Around the age of 12 or 13, I started having recurring dreams set in the forest, a place I frequently visited. In these dreams, I encountered a large black wolf with glowing red eyes., During my final dream involving the wolf, a woman's voice accompanied it. I recall her saying, "Do not fear the wolf." As the wolf circled me, I didn't feel fear but rather a deep sense of respect for its ancient power.
.89 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuf2co/my_experience_with_nhi/ experience description, had a bout of psychosis that involved/was caused by extended contact with a "non-human intelligence." Left me deeply traumatized and harmed but in a better place in my life than where I started. Don't fuck around and find out.
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cui6zs/satellite_or_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, Qatar 🇶🇦, single light object moving, stars for comparison, trajectory change observed
.91 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwnbs/how_many_have_had_the_dream/ childhood dream description, at home, nighttime, eyes outside window, Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 , similar dreams in comments, entity, [GOODPOST]
.92 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwxug/ufo_or_is_this_just_a_plane_or_satellite/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, two witnesses, single light object moving, Gladwyne Pennsylvania near Philadelphia,
.93 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cukdcm/ufo_from_joshua_tree_national_park_522024/ video, nighttime sky, Joshua Tree National Park California, multiple witnesses, camping, single light object, plane for comparison, haze, When the cloudy aura dissipated a bit you could see had just two bright white lights from two ends of it., twolights, vanishing, possible departure upward, rocket launch? , silent
.94 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cunh7l/what_sightingevent_opened_your_mind_to_the/ discussion of sightings
.95 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuqag5/guys_help_me_identify_this_thing_what_the_heck_is/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, urban area, Los Angeles California, single dark object, elongated, worm 🪱, irregular shape, single flash, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, V-shaped, shape change
.96 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuxx9l/help_i_think_i_saw_a_ufo/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, at home, light shining in bedroom window, single light object, approach, golden, flew over the witness home, emotion of fear, Southern Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, emotional reaction feeling shook, ongoing, I've been having a lot of strange experiences lately.
.97 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cupc7a/ufo_orb_light/ video, daytime sky, single dim object, low over treeline, disappeared behind treeline, moving slowly and fast, possible reaction to being filmed, speed change, Was floating for about 2 min before I started filming. Moved fairly quickly, disappeared behind tree line., duration two minutes, at home, backyard, possible military response helicopter , event amnesia
.98 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cut2f2/strange_sighting_in_netherlands/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, single light object moving, wavy trajectory, vanishing and reappearing or jumpy movement, two witnesses, silent, possible military response jets, After 5 minutes or saw we saw a plane fly in the same direction. Which was followed by another plane and third one which made a u-turn after a flashing light appeared in the direction the light flew in., nighttime, the Netherlands 🇳🇱
.99 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuvet2/second_moon_uap_in_virginia/ video, nighttime sky, single light object stationary, multicolored, low over treeline, repeat visitor, Virginia, over water, river where the Tye and James river meet, He said that it disappeared for a month or so (he stopped seeing it in the morning) and now it’s back!
.100 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cux9gabout_45_years_ago_i_saw_a_black_figure_looking/ sighting description, entity, at home, outside window, animal reaction dog noticed it, black figure the the shape of a person's head looking through the window at me., witness looked away and looked back, vanished
.101 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv2esis_this_a_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, hard to see, repeat visitor, Victoria British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct988m/what_the_hell_is_this/ previous day, video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving erratically, jumpy movement, trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦
.102 https://old.reddit.com/UF0/comments/1cv0xjf/please_telll_me_what_this_is/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, urban area, threelights, triangle formation, low over rooftop, silent, there were a lot of planes going by. wayyyyyy more than usual., at home, similar sighting in comments
.103 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv7yko/another_shitty_phone_video/ video, daytime cloudy sky, powerlines, single light object, Yucaipa California, first noticed from car, witness stopped the car and got out, reaction to being filmed, ascending, departure,
.104 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv8xxb/2007_ufo_sighting_in_sf/ sighting description and reference image, family story, 1967 Albany New York state, at home, multiple witnesses, over the witness home, very large, it was huge and covered her house and part of the street., stationary and moving, sudden departure
.105 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cv9qub/the_sky_went_marine_blue_and_looked_like_it_was/ sighting description, no craft, contemporaneous report, nighttime, single flash, blue 🔵, illuminating surroundings, darkness bright as day, the sky went totally bright like it was day. It had a marine blue tint to it and I could see the whole city. , brief duration 1 second, subsequent audio description huge bang sound in the distance,
.106 https://old.reddit.com/AnomalousEvidence/comments/1cv97u8/i_wanted_to_share_with_you_all_a_bit_of/ information, how to evaluate orb reports, [GOODPOST]
.107 https://old.reddit.com/UFObelievers/comments/1cv7hky/ufo_supercharged_my_powerbank_to_151_a_yea sighting, electronic effects camera battery died, but my PowerBank has been stuck at 151% since last year.

So jamband had one of its typical bash on DMB for being accessible and not noodling around enough threads and one guy wrote this about Dave....
"DMB is not a jamband for legit reasons mentioned elsewhere in the thread. I have seen Dave many times and do not hate the music per se. Many of my friends appear prominently in the What Would You Say music video and I was early on the DMB bandwagon.
The big problem is that for a scene founded in the communal and universal love of the Grateful Dead, Dave is a giant asshole. He is greedy, ungrateful and has burned nearly everyone that has worked with him in the music biz.
He burned Tim, he burned everyone in the Boulder music scene in the 90s, he fired his entire crew for a $50 million check from Clear Channel. He is the worst kind of sellout, the kind who doesn’t share the wealth.
There are plenty of aholes in the jam scene. Some people hate John Mayer, I have it on good authority that he’s AOK. Some hate Ryan Adams and they might have a point, but I don’t know for sure if sober Ryan is a dick. Dave is definitely not someone who has enamored himself to anyone I’ve ever known who has come in contact with him.
So DMB is OK with me, although not a jamband, and Dave himself is not. I’ll still take free tix to go see him but will definitely never willingly give the guy my money."
I have not heard any of this before and none of it seems remotely true. However, I thought I would ask around here and see if anyone has heard something similar. I asked him to provide details and he wrote....
"Dave moved to Boulder around 1994 after his music career stalled in Charlottesville. The scene and people there were very welcoming to him, giving him incredible generosity and support. The Fox Theatre allowed him to film a video there for free, people stepped up to help him out at KBCO, Albums on the Hill, Program Council etc. Once Under the Table and Dreaming was released and became a smash hit, he packed his shit and left town immediately, without thanking or even contacting a single person in the scene. The very next time he came back to town in 2001, the band went over curfew at Folsom Field, leading to a 15-year ban on holding concerts there.
And I was using the word “crew” loosely as he did retain his roadies when he sold his tour. He fired the entire DMB touring administration, including accountants, road management, ticketing staff, etc. He sold his tour to SFX/Clear Channel, who immediately doubled ticket prices so you couldn’t get into stadium nosebleeds for under $50 and booked him exclusively into the 100+ CC owned/controlled venues in the US. Clear Channel at the time was a notorious music monopoly who would pull bands off the air if they played shows promoted by competitors, and was famous in Denver for shenanigans like parking a manure truck out front of the Boulder Theater or dumping truckloads of rocks or fish outside competing venues to disrupt concerts they didn’t book.
Honestly the impact to the independent promoter and music venue community of Dave’s decision was much broader than just the dozens of people he fired. When you look around your city and wax nostalgic about venues long gone, there is a distinct likelihood that it was Clear Channel who ran them out of business. I left the promoting business because of them, and my boss sold his owner share and became an accountant.
Much of what I’m saying here is a matter of public record in the monopoly case NIPP Inc vs Clear Channel Communications Inc (311 F. Supp. 2d 1048). Westword also covered the story extensively in the 2000s."
Dave moved to Boulder in 1994 after his music career stalled in Charlottesville? Umm, dude, thats when DMB was taking off and they became a national sensation. WTF is this guy talking about? As a side note, even if there is something to this, Boulder is the land of wealthy faux-hippie trustafarians anyway. I'm pretty sure they're doing okay without Dave's money.

It has been 20 years since the first calamity struck Earth. A massive wave of solar radiation from a nearby star known as Prometheus 673B showered our solar system in 2025. Electronics have been rendered useless for months, giving humanity the glimpse of what life was like long before. But that was merely temporary. The true effect of the solar flare came in the form of an illness, that afflicted roughly 10% of the current population. Unlike anything we've ever seen, the illness did not kill, rather enhanced the afflicted. For the first time in human history, the term Esper was used seriously. Dubbed the Awoken, those afflicted with illness that stemmed from the solar flare of Prometheus, gained the ability to manifest their own thoughts into reality, with varying degrees of success. At first, nations and laws, society as whole, was not prepared to deal with these new humans and their abilities. Crime ran rampant for a while.
Five years after the incident, the world banded together in a unified front, known as the AMA, The Awoken Management Agency, a world wide agency tasked with handling and controlling the Awoken, allowing humanity to once more function as a whole. Satellites have been sent out as far Earth's gaze into space could reach, to watch our for any other potential cosmic events that may occur, like the one that happened with Prometheus back in '25.
Now, 20 years since the first incident, the satellites have picked up another major cosmic event on the horizon, this time coming from the Aquila constellation. Is humanity ready to withstand whatever cosmos has prepared for it?
[]
"Kenji. Wake up! You'll be later for your lectures, again."
The young man groaned, slowly turning to his side in bed, looking at his mother that stood at the doorway. "I'm up, I'm up."
Yawning and stretching, he sat up in bed, running his fingers through his hair, before turning to check the small clock on his nightstand.
"Wha? Late? Mom, it's only 8. Lectures don't start until 10." He sighed.
"Oh well. No need to cut it short, right? Plus, I've made breakfast." His mother replied and went back downstairs.
[]
AMA Information Database:
Kenji Aoto. Age: 21 Category: Type 1 Awoken Ability: Embodiment. The unique ability of Kenji Aoto, unlike other Awoken of the same type, allows him to alter his own body based on how he feels. Most Type 1s change their environment around them, rather than themselves. Type 1s are classified as such for having abilities that considered non dangerous to the general non awoken population.
[]
"We've got a lot of promising talent this year huh?" Nathaniel said to his daughter, as the two looked down at the auditorium full of students. The dean of the university was preparing his usual welcoming speech, as the assistants tried to quiet down the murmurs of the students.
"Yeah, we sure do." Clara smiled, not taking her eyes off the scene. "Quite a good number of Awoken too."
"Anyone interesting in particular?" Nathaniel asked.
"No, not really. They all have the standard abilities you would expect out of a type 1. Same level of control to boot." She responded.
"Well, I look forward to being their professor." Her father smiled, inhaling deeply. "The smell of youthful energy, so amazing. I can still remember your first day as a freshman."
Clara blushed a bit, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow. "Shouldn't you be down there giving your speech, Dr. Offset?"
Nathaniel rubbed the back of his neck with a slightly embarrasses laugh to boot. "Oh don't call me that. Ahem, yeah. I'll be going now. See you later for lunch?"
"Of course dad." Clara smiled, giving her father a little wave as he left the teacher conference room.
[]
AMA Information database:
Clara Harris. Age: 32 Category: Non-Awoken (regular human) The lead ambassador for Awoken rights and unification in the AMA. Daughter of the lead researcher in Awoken development and the head teacher of the Awoken department in Nagoya University, Japan, Nathaniel Harris.
Nathaniel Harris. Age: 55 Category: Type 2 Awoken Ability: Offset. Acquired during the first Prometheus flare, the ability of Dr. Offset (he thought the name was cool when he was in his 20s), allows him to offset numerical values. Though touching an object is not required to use the ability on it, the potency of the ability greatly improved when he has direct contact with it. This also extends to, in theory, numerical values pertaining to objects and their position in space, relative to Nathaniel. Meaning he can move objects or parts of them relative to where he's standing, by changing their coordinates, however there were no recorded instances of him doing so. Examples include: Increasing or reducing the temperature of a beverage by direct contact. Increasing or decreasing friction on a surface of an object temporarily by touching it.
In his youth, Nathaniel attempted to become a sort of hero, once his powers kicked in, but due to the very low potency of his abilities, he never really managed to make the cut as one, despite being a type 2. Type 2s are classified as such due to having abilities that could be considered dangerous, powerful or harmful for the general non awoken population.
[]
Location: Russia, Siberia. Time: 22:37 Facility: Maximum security prison for Awoken criminals in Russia, cell block 5.
Theodore laid in his bunk, staring at the ceiling. Each of his breaths released a soft cloud of vapor, that commonly occurs when someone is in a cold environment. In his case, the vapor was a byproduct of his ability, rather than the cold cell we was in. A thug with a love for violence, turned bank robber when his abilities fully developed, Theodore terrorized Russia and the neighboring countries. It wasn't until the AMA was finally assembled and operational, that he was arrested and sentenced to multiple life sentences in this highest security prison that Russia had at a time.
Even after being sent behind bars, he kept up his antics, becoming a nightmare for the guards and inmates alike. No man that was placed in a cell with him would last more than a few days before demanding transfer. Some even lost their lives to the former thugs whims, before their transfer requests could be approved. Hence Theodore has been placed in solitary, a cell designed with all the tech necessary to nullify his ability. There he spent the last 10 years of his life.
Despite being a type 1, an awoken with abilities that were not classified as dangerous to the general population, Theodore managed to use them to their fullest extent. His blessing of temperature manipulation, was a curse to everyone around him.
He looked outside, at the night sky, through his small cell window. Apparently, there was a big stellar event, similar to the one 20 years ago, that gave him the powers he now has. He heard guards and other inmates talk about it, how AMA is now prepared for such an event.
Theodore closed his eyes, imagining what this aurora would look like. The memory of that night, when Prometheus 673B's flare struck earth still fresh in his mind like it was yesterday. The otherworldly mixture of reds and yellows and greens. Like a primordial fire that was lit across the night sky.
Suddenly, the sound of footsteps outside his cell snapped him out of his memory.
"Huh?" He adjusted in bed, to see who was outside his cell.
A man, in a white cloak with golden details, stood outside his cell. Theodore was confused. The man was not one of the guards, he was bare footed and did not wear any uniform. And no way he was one of the other inmates, no one had the capabilities to leave their cells without being let out.
"Hey, who the hell are you? How did you get here? The guards letting us out or something?" The criminal walked over to his cell door. The bars were made of material that could withstand sudden changes in temperature without bending or breaking, preventing him from getting out.
The man said nothing, he didn't even turn towards the convict, he merely stood there, hood covering his as he looked up at the night sky through the decorative windows on the buildings roof.
"Hey asshat! I asked you a question. How the fuck did you get out of your cell? C'mon man, don't be a dick, let me out too." Theodore grabbed the bars and rattled them.
The cloaked man finally turned towards him. The convict was stunned, only for a second. The man has a beard and long hair, both as white as his cloak. But his eyes, they were as blue as the midday sky. He could have sworn energy seemed to pour out of them. Before he could say another word, the figure before him extended his hand at him, and with a snap of his fingers, a bold of lightning struck Theodore square in the chest. The convict was send flying, back hitting the wall opposite the cell doors.
[]
Location: Brazil, San Paolo. Time: 16:37 Facility: Remodeled Taubaté Prison, cell block 3.
Vitor sat on the bench press, just finishing a set, looking over the prison yard. Even behind bars, his connections did not dwindle. A former petty drug dealer, Vitor Alves quickly rose to power and influence once his powers awoke. He employed other Awoken with criminal tendencies as his own personal task force to drive all other competition into the ground. Once he held the entirety of San Paolo's drug empire in his hand, he set his sights farther. We wanted the entire city for himself, believing that no one could challenge his claim to that right.
With the help of the AMA, the Brazilian government swiftly put his plan to rest, and Vitor behind bars. The fight between the Awoken under Alves and the AMA/Brazilian forces was indeed a bloody one and resulted in a good number of civilian casualties. The drug lord was sent to Taubate, where he would spend the rest of his life. The prison was remodeled, per AMA standards, to be fully equipped and capable of holding Awoken criminals.
Despite having powers of temperature manipulation, capable of increasing temperature to lethal amounts, Vitor did not believe that to be his strongest ability. Money, influence, connections, those were real power, what truly carried him to the top of the criminal world.
Even now, as he sat on the bench press, doing a few reps before looking over the yard, Vitor was not powerless in the outside world. He waited on his informant, his connection to the outside, to appear so he could delegate orders to what was left of his followers and empire on the outside.
He wasn't sure if it was something he ate, or the heat from the pounding sun. Maybe it was even that sky flare that he heard AMA guards mention. Something indeed felt off, his vision seemed a bit blurry. As if the entire prison courtyard was moving slowly right before him. But the informant should be there soon, so Vitor decided not to go back to his cell just yet.
The other inmates, guards, even the basketball that the inmates played hoops with, suddenly slowed down to a halt. Through the statue like crowd, a single figure moved over to Vitor. His feet were bare, his body and face hidden behind a hooded cloak. The drug lord could only see his white beard and his eyes, as they seemed to be glowing a faint blue glow. Before he even got a chance to speak, the man extended his hand towards him and with a smirk, snapped his fingers, sending a bolt of lightning straight into the mans body, causing Vitor to fly several feet and collapse on the ground.
[]
"Ugh... What the fuck man?" Theodore cursed, as he regained his consciousness. Slowly, he got up to his knees, his head pounding like he was struck by a hammer. The cell felt colder than before. Looking around, he saw the entire cell frozen, every surface covered by a thick layer of ice. Bed, toilet, the cell doors, frozen solid. And the ice shifted. With every movement of his hands, the ice followed.
"Could it be?" The inmate whispered, focusing his mind, channeling his ability. Ice began to form in the palm of his hand, morphing freely. With a single wave of his hand, the frozen bed shattered into bits and pieces. Theodore inhaled, getting up to his feet, head still in pain. But the realization was crystal clear. He could now freeze things without having to touch them, manipulate what he froze, as well create ice out by freezing the water in the air. With a grin plastered across his face, Theodore thanked the mysterious man, of who there was not a single trace left, and decided that he's busting himself out of prison.
[]
"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING. PRISON BREAKS DETECTED ACROSS MULTIPLE AMA FACILITIES!" Blared the system on screen at the Awoken Management Agency in Nagoya. Other HQs across the globe received the same warning.
"What the hell is going on?" Clara said, running into the monitoring hall.
"I don't know. Prison breaks, across multiple locations world wide." Kaito replied, his eyes not leaving the monitors as he fired up the surveillance drones on the impacted locations.
"The main facilities that were absolutely totaled are Siberia and San Paolo." He continued.
"Think it could be?" Clara asked.
"Not possible. The protection against solar flares was at full power. Not a single particle should have hit the ground. I mean, we didn't lose any tech, unlike last time." Kaito shot her question down, pulling up the drone feed of the two prisons.
Taubate was in flames. The entire facility seemed to be entirely engulfed in a raging fire. The Russian counterpart held no better either. The entire prison was torn apart by massive glacier like formations, that seemed to jut out of the ground.
Clara, Kaito and other technicians presents stared, slackjawed, at the live drone feed. Something like that was not possible, no Awoken held that level of power. Not even if multiple Awoken united, could they produce that level of destruction across such a large area.
"Wait wait! What's that? Zoom in on one of the glaciers!" One of the technicians said, pointing at the big monitors.
Kaito's fingers flew across the keyboard, as the drone moved closer and the video on screen zoomed to its maximum. On one of the glacier formations, sat a man, clearly an inmate based on the jumpsuit he was wearing.
"Running identification." Chimed the computer.
"Inmate 4012: Theodore Ivarovski. Age: 36. Category: Type 1 Awoken. Ability: Low drop. His ability allows him to significantly drop the temperature of anything he touches, almost instantly."
"He's a type 1. No way in hell that he could pull of something like this." Clara said, eyes glued to the screed. "He must have re-awoken, there is no other explanation."
"Clara, in the last 20 years since the Prometheus, there was never a single instance of that happening. Some Awoken do push their abilities past the initial capabilities, but that's usually the end of it. It's a conspiracy theory." Kaito mumbled.
"Then how do you explain THAT?" She said, pointing at a massive piece of ice that was quickly forming above Ivarovski, before being sent flying towards the drone and cutting off the live feed.
[]
(Howdy y'all. This is a bit different from my usual write style, with a more manga like story/narration instead of the standard story/novel format I do. I hope you like it, I came up with it months ago, but due to time constrains with work I haven't gotten around to writing it. Based on how it's received, I may continue this along side Sand & Steel. You can read S&S on here:
Royal Road
Wattpad
Scribble Hub
Hope y'all have a nice day.
-M.W.A.)

Hi, I know some of you have been interested in Joost’s written stuff, so this is one of them. It’s a short story that Joost wrote for Boekenweek voor Jongeren (Book Week for Young People) in 2019. There’s more info about it here (in Dutch) https://www.vice.com/nl/article/qvgzpv/joost-klein-schreef-een-kort-verhaal-over-een-wilde-nacht-in-berlijn and there was also this promo video for it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx7wxnpxps0. It's been translated from Dutch - maybe not the most perfect translation but it's readable. Original in Dutch here. Enjoy

"How come he suddenly has cash?" I looked at Gurb, but he avoided my gaze. Louis never had money and yet he was buying another round. Meanwhile, a Moby song was playing and nothing made sense. "If he has money for drinks, he can surely pay me back, right?"
Just a few hours ago, I was alone in Berlin. Now, ten hours later, I'm standing in some obscure techno club with my best friends. Loud rock music with drunken shouting. "Hey, Miss Murder, can I make beauty stay if I take my life?" I woke up that day with a mild hangover from the lonely yet people-filled night before. Perfect conditions for a 20-year-old dropout.
The Hard Rock Café was the most beautifully ugly place in Berlin. Gurb had driven for seven hours straight in his mother's car, but we didn't notice. An iconic black Mini Cooper. Your body leads your mind, the beat never stops, and you can conquer the world. Louis threw in another crazy dance move. We were happy.
"Do you want another drink, brother?" Gurb asked me, half shouting. An evening filled with rhetorical questions. He saw me dancing and already knew the answer.
Gurb always had money. Louis, on the other hand, never did. Louis was also the youngest of us three. He had just turned 18. I wouldn't call him a cunning fox. More like a jack-of-all-trades. Like the time he made a lot of money on a Wadden Island with a group of boys. They sold large blocks of hash.
"Crazy dude!" I shouted at him. He yelled something back.
"Do you remember back then?" Louis said.
"Back then? Back then? Yeah man, of course!" I had no idea what he meant. "Do you mean the party?"
"Do you mean the party, he says! This guy. When I look at you like this, it makes me happy. The exact same kid is here letting loose just like back in high school!"
We knew each other from secondary school. He joined when I was in the second grade. He was very intelligent. Too young, too much knowledge of the world. His mother is from Brazil. We often went to his mother's place to play on the Playstation Louis and I had bought together.
I lived everywhere at that time. In the crisis shelter where I stayed for a while, for example, I wasn't allowed to have a Playstation. So we set it up in an accessible place, near school. It was always fun with Louis. Going together to the Apple Store. Taking all kinds of photos with all the webcams, posting them on Hyves, and then leaving. Louis always knew how to cheer me up.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!" There was Gurb with five drinks in his hands. Gurb was wearing a blue checkered shirt. Two buttons undone. Hair slicked back. "You look good, brother!"
"You look fresh too! We all look fresh!" Gurb said enthusiastically. Louis was wearing a completely white outfit. We quickly bought this before going out. He also bleached his hair.
"You look like the Brazilian cousin of James Dean in these clothes," I said. Louis laughed. "Let me take a picture."
Suddenly, the DJ switched to some kind of techno. "Ah, here Berlin briefly takes off its mask." I was fine with it all. Louis was talking to a lady.
Voluptuous breasts, I thought to myself. He gave her one of his two drinks.
"He's with a girl and he's thinking with his dick," I said to Gurb. "Let him be, tonight Berlin is ours!"
The bass kept pounding. "I simply don't have the patience for the club," I said to Gurb. He looked surprised. Like a sweet dog, tilting his head. "I'm just waiting for tomorrow. Can't do my thing here. Don't have patience for the already known. I want adventure and I want it now!"
Gurb started laughing. "Patience is a virtue." Yes. Patience is all well and good, but I think it's a waste of my time. Gurb grabbed my shoulder.
"I think it's time for another beer."
Louis and I were walking through Leeuwarden a year ago when suddenly a red Ford Ka stopped in front of us. It was Gurb, casually driving around the city. He invited us into his car. We hopped in. Since that afternoon, the three of us were together. A few months later, Louis got a tattoo on his ribs in honor of our friendship. It was the name of our group chat. Braddar Force Indigo.
There were also days when Gurb would take me for a drive around Friesland. He reminded me how beautiful Friesland is. The world doesn't spin there. The newspapers I threw away in the Stiens forest in 2011 could still be lying in the same spot, so to speak.
Just before midnight, I found myself in line for the restroom. My eyes fell on a pair of striking shoes. Cigarette smoke invaded my nose for the fourth time. "Müssen Sie eine Zigarette haben?" a female voice spoke to me. I felt like Tom Hanks in the final scene of Angels & Demons, where the new pope first steps onto the balcony. The curtains opened. There I was, witnessing an important moment in history. I was just told how I was sent by God, but my ears didn't want to hear any of it. At least that's how I felt. My mouth was empty. I had no words left. That's when I knew for sure. Berlin might really be as crazy as literally everyone says.
Dark blond, silky hair. Was this real beauty then? She wouldn't look 40, but I think she was. A true woman. Beautiful in all her elegance. I always joked about being interested in older women, but tonight one stood in front of me. "I don't smoke," I said to her.
Someone tapped me. "Please, just go to the toilet!" He was right. I hadn't peed in a while either. My urine was cloudy. "Glomerulonephritis," I said to myself on the toilet. This is an unusual condition. It's an inflammation in the kidneys, I thought I remembered. They should never have given me access to Google.
The evening progressed, and Louis kept buying rounds. "But seriously now. How does Louis suddenly have all that money for drinks?" I asked Gurb. He was outside smoking with a group of Swiss girls. I had strategically positioned myself so that I could always leave the crime scene if necessary.
"You shouldn't ask me," said Gurb. He was laughing with the temporary girlfriend group of Louis. Gurb has a beard. A lot of chicks like that. I get it too.
As much as I enjoyed Louis and Gurb being here for me, something didn't sit right with me. It couldn't just be about the money. "What's up with him?" I heard one of the Swiss girls say to Gurb.
Those kinds of questions really tire me out. "Not much, with you?" I replied.
They all started laughing. "That's not what she meant, brother," said Gurb.
"I couldn't care less whether she meant it or not. Send that brace-face back to Switzerland. Don't drive me crazy, alright!"
Actually, I hadn't drunk that much that evening. "Two vodka Sprites, please!" It's rare for me to get just one drink. "I always get two drinks, then you have to wait shorter for the third one!" Maybe the alcohol was affecting me more than I wanted to admit. Oh well, it was still the three of us against the world.
"Nice shoes, are those Prada?" I asked a random girl at the bar.
"No, these are fake. Why would I buy real ones for 600 dollars if I could just buy these for 20?"
"..."
I'm not very good at that. Talking. To women.
Louis and Gurb were in the smoking area now. It was less blue than the dance floor itself. My clothes already stank, so a visit to the smoking area couldn't hurt. "These people are so underground!" Gurb shouted. Louis was filming him with his phone. "These people..." There was a brief pause. As if Gurb forgot the only line he had. "...so underground!" All three of us burst into laughter. The alcohol flowed through our veins as if it came from the purest mountains. People seemed doubled and the room was full. We had been in the same club in Berlin for several hours.
"Leonardo! What are you hiding from the big boss?" I sometimes called Louis ‘DiCaprio.’ "You a rich guy, now?" I said, with an accent as if I were from the Bronx.
Louis started laughing. "Eh, you know nothing. Bullshit talk."
I had to laugh too. What was I even worried about? Friends are friends, with or without money. That shouldn't matter. Louis probably just worked for that money. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe he just had enough to buy rounds. But what if my gut feeling was right? That feeling was never wrong. Except for that one time at the Holland Casino in Groningen. Even the best of us have slip-ups. I was just getting worked up again. When it comes down to it, Louis is one of the sweetest guys I know. I had to let it go. After all, it's still Louis.
"I think I'm going to have sex soon, man," Louis said.
"With who?" I asked immediately.
"That one girl."
"Which one?"
"The one with the boobs."
"Oh, her. Just be careful."
"What kind of reaction is that?" Louis asked indignantly.
I'd only had four drinks, but I was acting like a mess. Louis was right. I didn't understand myself. Where was my head at? I'm here in Berlin, supposed to be having the time of my life, but here I am feeling lonely and sad again. Joost once again couldn't control his emotions.
"Sorry," I suddenly said to Louis. "Sorry for my behavior. Been acting dumb towards you all night. It's unnecessary." Sometimes I have that. Mood swings. "Know that crime is never the solution. We've talked about this so many times. Yes, it's tempting and sometimes easy money. I sometimes find it amusing too, but it's always hypothetical. Ask me for help. I can help you, even with illegal things. I'll always have your back." The dancing was kind of over.
The words I had just placed on Louis's plate came from my heart. My Frisian, irregular boys' heart.
Crying in the club. I had never seen myself like that. Crying, yes. In the club, no. I never understood the taboo around crying. Or emotions in general. I saw myself in the mirror. They weren't tears of joy. They weren't tears of sadness either. It was me letting everything go. All the emotions I had ever felt. The emotions I felt between my brother and sister and myself because they wanted to take on a parental role over me, but I was in puberty, so I pushed them away. The emotions I felt when my old neighbors were supposed to take care of my dog, but didn't tell me that he was bitten by one of their dogs. They didn't have money for the surgery, they later told me. They were ashamed of their lack of money. My dog died from this injury. Even the emotions that were all jumping at once during the retake for my swimming diploma A, I let go of.
No emotions. Just for a moment, not feeling anything. Is that too much to ask for?
"You still don’t smoke?"
It had to be the voice of the woman with the cigarettes. I looked over my shoulder through the mirror. It was her. The one with dark blond, silky hair.
"Not to be rude, but this is the men’s room," I said. She took a step closer and kissed me on my lips. It tasted like more. We started kissing. It had been a while since I had had female contact at this level. It probably didn't look good and it didn't feel good either. She started kissing my neck. Slowly, I noticed the pressure in the erectile tissues of my penis starting to increase. "I really don't have time for this!" I thought to myself. The woman with the cigarettes started to slowly sink down until she was on her knees. I didn't want this. Not now, not like this. She unraveled my penis from my Polo Ralph Lauren underwear. Her tongue was blue. It was probably from cheap shots of alcohol.
Was this real beauty then? Was this the beginning or the end of her story? And had I become the boy my parents hoped I would be? I thought about the fact that this was once someone's little daughter. Somewhere in the world, an old man might be wondering what his daughter is doing. Am I really putting pleasure above my own morals and values?
With my semi-erect circumcised penis still exposed, I lifted her up. After giving her a kiss on her forehead, I pulled up my pants and left the toilets.
It was the usual last hour in any club ever. I met Louis and Gurb at the bar. "Should we have another drink?" I asked Gurb. "I feel like having a cocktail. Something sweet. Lots of sugar. What about you?"
Gurb looked at the menu. "A cognac would go down well right now."
"A cognac? You're only nineteen!" Gurb and Louis laughed. "Two Tequila Sunrises please!" I called to the bartender. "Also, two beers! Thanks!" I also got a beer for Louis. At first, I didn't want to, but I didn't want to spoil the mood either. Besides, I didn't want to show too much that it bothered me so much.
We danced away the last minutes. The club closed, and we decided to walk with the group of Swiss girls. Apparently, they were staying nearby.
As I lagged behind the group, one of them tried to start a conversation with me. "Are you okay?" she asked kindly.
"I'm fine. Just had too much beer. Makes me sleepy." Not true at all, but I've heard people say that.
"You’re tired? The fun has only just began!" And as she said this, she pulled something out of her inner pocket. Her clenched fist, shielded by a half jacket. Who is this girl, anyway? I thought to myself. She opened her hand flat, and right in the center of her palm lay two small pills with a smiley face on them. At least, they looked like it.
"Oh, I don’t do drugs. Sorry."
"Me neither!" And she swallowed a pill. "Now it’s your turn... Or are you scared?"
Scared? Who did this crazy Swiss witch (with really beautiful eyes) think she was. With her "are you scared". I'll show her who's scared.
"Scared? I’m not scared." I picked up the remaining pill and swallowed it.
Everything went in slow motion. Was this who I had become? Was this the same boy from high school? And just before I could swallow, I spat out the pill. She was shocked. I picked up the pill again, dried it with my jacket, and put it back in her fist. "Maybe later!" I shouted, running back to the group, over my shoulder.
I have nothing to say to 9 out of 10 peers I come across. Of course, I can be social. I can also have fun with random people in random situations, but that night, it just tired me out. I also didn't understand what we were doing there. Those girls found me strange anyway. Suddenly, I was the fifth wheel.
"We know this place where they go until 7 in the morning!" The girl leader of the group spoke. I wanted to go home. "If you guys want, you can go. Don't worry about me," I said to Gurb and Louis. The boys had a brief discussion. We agreed to stay for just a little while longer for some drinks. I consented. I was thirsty. "I'll have a Fanta, Louis."
Gurb had reached the last cigarette in his pack. Louis and a girl from the group were nowhere to be found. It didn't even bother me. This guy just walks around with some cash in his pocket and all hell breaks loose. After a night full of stimuli, I understood Louis. Of course, I understood Louis. He's a young god. Handsome, smart guy. But that didn't make me any less angry. It was purely about trust for me. Something inside me said I should stop subconsciously expecting things from people too. It prevents disappointment.
"Hotel please!" I jokingly suggested to Gurb. "Should you call Louis or should I?" I added. Gurb immediately grabbed his Android smartphone and called Louis. He put the call on speaker.
"Are you ready?" Gurb asked.
"Yeah. Sort of."
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't have sex."
"That's fine, right? Tomorrow's a new day!"
"I think I'm in love, man," Louis said.
"...," Gurb said, chuckling as he let out a sigh.
Once we arrived at the girls' hostel, it was already getting light. Louis was thankfully back. There were stains on his pants, around his knees. My focus was solely on arranging a taxi. Although the boys were still flirting, I was really done now. "How are we going to pay for this taxi?" I said a bit too loudly.
There was a silence. "Don't worry. I still have cash," Gurb said.
"Yeah, I knew you would," I replied.
My words clearly hit Louis. "What do you mean by that?" he said.
It was as if time stood still for a few seconds. "Exactly what I said. Better listen." Louis pulled out a small wad of green bills from his pocket. At least 400 euros. "I don't even want to see that money," I reacted. I walked away.
I'll just order a taxi myself.
"Why are you walking away now?" Gurb said.
"Twelve hours ago, I was alone too, and I had a lot more fun then."
"Do you really want to know how I got this money?" Louis said.
Yes, I did want to know. My whole evening revolved around that damn money.
He took a second of pause before he began speaking. "The answer lies in the Mini."
What on earth could be in Gurb's mother's car? Louis was trying to get into my head. "Taxi!"
Once in the taxi, the division was clear. Gurb was upfront, chatting animatedly with the driver. All adventures ever were recounted. Louis and I in the back. One of my best friends since I was thirteen. Funny how things turn out. It was quiet between us. I was in my head, rehearsing how I would bring up the money again. It didn't add up, and he knew it himself. "I don't care, you know," I said, hoping he'd break.
"What don't you care about?"
"About that money."
"What money? You're really a crazy woozy man." Louis burst out laughing again.
On the other hand, it was silent. Gurb had started talking about the driver's family. The driver didn't appreciate it. Gurb meant well. The driver smelled of alcohol. Or was it me? His nails were polished. Maybe his wife was a specialist. I bite my nails myself. Like now.
"In the Mini, oh yeah."
"Shut up. Illegal man."
"You'll never know."
"Stop playing. Just say it!"
Louis grabbed my head, pulled himself towards me, and brought his mouth to my right ear. "Why so serious?" he whispered. He didn't want to tell me.
"But always with this damn money, huh?" I almost shouted at Louis. I broke every silence within a radius of 10 kilometers.
"I'm trying my best, bro. It is what it is. I can't make it any different," he replied. It was clearly bothering him deeply. He ran his hands through his hair. "Sometimes people have to do things. And you know that better than anyone. Sometimes they have to do things they don't really want to or aren't supposed to do."
I knew this spiel all too well. Through all the drunken haziness, I suddenly saw a small glimmer of light. A tiny spark of sincerity. Louis was serious this time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to involve you in this. I'm sorry," sweat dripped from his forehead.
"You're serious, huh? Damn, man. What mess have you gotten yourself into now? Worse than Terschelling?" Worse than Terschelling would mean stolen goods. Maybe even violence.
"It's not what you think."
"The Adlon Hotel, right?" the driver chimed in. Always saved by the bell, that Louis.
Suddenly I hit my head against the seat in front of me. Of course, I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. The last thing I saw was Gurb waking up in panic from his drunken stupor. One by one, I started losing my senses. It started with the feeling in my fingers. For a brief moment, everything wasn't quite black, and I could only see a vague pattern of colors repeating inside my eyelids. You could compare it to the brief moment after the commercial break before the movie starts in the cinema. The movie was about to begin.
I knew I wasn't dying. At least not yet. Not like this. Not after an overall mediocre night out in Berlin. I found comfort in the image I forced myself to see. It was all in my head. There I was, unconscious.
I saw myself in a third-person point of view. It wasn't like I was actually leaving my body. More like there was a webcam hanging in one of the upper corners of the taxi.
As a child, I used to dream a lot about death. Nights spent awake.
At some point, I developed a kind of compulsive behavior. I kept swaying my torso from left to right with my hands under my head. It became almost like a workout before bedtime. Every night.
I called it dream shuffling. Just like I had learned to shuffle puzzle pieces or playing cards. Making things a little exciting for yourself. But what I almost never told anyone was that I was scared. I was afraid of burglars, who were very agile and muscular.
Especially afraid that they would murder me. I really wanted to know what death was like. It scared me.
These fear visions originated during an all-inclusive vacation in Turkey. I was 6 years old and already in bed. There was a big old TV in our hotel room, so I could secretly watch TV from bed. Every evening, my parents sat on the balcony. Here they discussed their day while enjoying a glass of alcohol. There was a Japanese animated series on TV. In the few seconds that I watched, I saw a scary creature climbing a sort of apartment complex via the balconies. The creature had hundreds of teeth and blond hair. It quickly entered to decapitate the people, then drained them and, as a final insult, robbed them. Dozens of carcasses of dead people were scattered around the apartment complex. The complex on TV resembled the resort where we were in reality, and the TV world merged with my surroundings. I became part of it. I saw people watching. No matter how loudly I screamed for help, they didn't react. The sun became very bright, and the people turned into nothing more than shadows. As the intensity of the sun increased, something became clear to me. These were not people. They had a sort of orange skin. Where I had previously thought it was their nose and mouth, it turned out that these shadowy figures did not have such physical features. They simply had three holes in their heads. The police tried to do something, but in vain. Since then, we always kept the light on in the hallway outside my bedroom. By rocking back and forth, from left to right, I could glance fleetingly at the beam of light under the door. That bit of light, escaping from the hallway into my room, gave me an advantage. It allowed me to stay one step ahead of the burglars. Pretty smart, right?
"From Jamaica to the world!
It’s just love. Why must the children play in the street?"
It was Bob Sinclar with "Love Generation" speaking to us through the taxi's speakers. We were stationary. I was conscious again, but I didn't feel alive at all. "How long was I out?" I asked Louis.
I could tell by his expression that he was relieved. Relieved that I was back. "One minute," he almost apologized. Louis gave me a pat on the shoulder. Gurb, on the other hand, was sleeping. He slept like a baby cub.
I put my right index finger on my forehead. It felt wet, but it wasn't blood. Blood feels different. Meanwhile, I kept hearing whistling.
"Be the love generation! Oh yeah!" It was still that same song by Bob Sinclar.
The earlier scent of alcohol had now been replaced by the smell of incense. It smelled like the same incense I had in my room. Sold to me as Tibetan 39 incense. I had bought it at a coffee shop in Rotterdam. I pulled up my notes on my phone. "Who lights incense in a CAR????" I let Louis read from my screen. He took the phone from my hands and started typing as well.
"Look at Gurb >>>" Gurb was so deeply asleep that his head drooped. His seatbelt held his torso in place, but his head ended up on the driver's shoulder. The man didn't mind. He didn't move. I made eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and soon I found him. He winked at me.
We arrived at the hotel. Gurb awakened from his alcoholic hibernation. "Who's going to pay for the taxi?" I asked. Clearly rhetorical. I already knew I would take this one for the team, as usual. I refused to use Louis's money. It was uncomfortably quiet. "By card please," I said.
"I'll always protect you, Louis. You really need to know that. I care about you like my own little brother. I'll always try to help you. But you have to be honest with me. Can you do that?" Louis didn't hesitate.
"Yes. Yes, I can. I'll show you. It's really in the Mini." Meanwhile, the taxi driver's card machine indicated that I had insufficient funds. That couldn't be right. Maybe I had withdrawn too much that evening.
"I have cash in the hotel room," Gurb said to me. Gurb informed the driver in broken English that he would go get his cash. The driver agreed. Money is money, whether it comes now or later. As long as it feels good in your hands.
Louis and I got out of the taxi. "You're not going to light a cigarette now, are you?" Louis wanted to smoke. "Especially for stress. That's really for people who can't handle pain. You need to feel pain. Pain needs to brand you for the rest of your life so you finally learn not to do such stupid things." It fell silent again. My blood boiled. All pots were on the stove. I felt like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. "Show me then. Do it."
Louis remained silent and walked around the corner of the hotel. Towards the parking lot. I followed him. "You're not going to find much," said Louis.
"Why not? Are you a magician?"
"No. Just. Not much."
"So there's suddenly magically nothing in Gurb's car?"
"Stop. Get out. Get out of my head!" Louis shouted. Louis had had enough. He was done with the parade. Normally we dealt with hypothetical stories. Only this time it wasn't a joke. I was sure now. Louis had dropped his mask. The revolution had begun. The government had fallen and the dikes had broken. The people were in charge. "You shouldn't freak out like this. Always wanting more. Sweet boy, think about yourself."
After Gurb gave the money to the driver, he came to us. He had a smile on his face, lit a cigarette, and exclaimed, "Brothers!" Once with us, he hugged me. He started laughing. "Maybe I haven't been entirely honest either." Sometimes Gurb seemed like a 38-year-old man. In a positive way. He exuded confidence in a way I didn't often see. Affectionate, with a hint of authority.
We stood in the middle of a large parking lot. "Look. We've reached a point where I might not even care anymore. You guys are teasing me." It did matter to me. Maybe more than ever. I was supposed to be two steps ahead of them, but I couldn't figure it out. "I give up."
The delightful silence returned. Louis and Gurb looked at each other. "You guys win. Apparently, I'm not to be trusted as a friend."
From Louis's expression, I could tell he disagreed with this. "Not true. Come to the car."
We arrived at the car. Louis unlocked it and searched for the trunk button. Gurb had started his third cigarette. "It's a corpse, isn't it? Say it now. I can still help you. I can still help us. I can book a ticket for you. We can get you out of here," I said to Louis.
"Just wait. Nutcase."
"Why won't you accept my help?"
Louis started laughing nervously. Or at least it seemed that way. Perhaps a sly laugh too. Had Louis killed someone? "It's not a corpse. That can't be. You wouldn't be stupid enough to use their ID. You're smarter than that. So it must be something stolen. Haven't you found that button yet?"
Suddenly, we heard a click. Louis had found the button. Somewhere, I didn't want to know. Shouldn't I just trust Louis? Wasn't that the whole point of friendship?
Finally, the moment had arrived. I placed my right hand in the slot of the rear hatch. Something in me doubted. Still. I still doubted. Louis looked dead serious. "You wanted to know, didn't you? Then you also have to be man enough to accept it." Louis was clearly not joking. Or was he acting again? "Pussy," Louis said. I looked away. "You're afraid of what's inside, huh? You're afraid of the real Louis." He began to laugh manically. "Open that thing, man. Nutcase!"
I started laughing too. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? Sweat broke out from every pore in my body. It was even a bit damp in the no man's land between my scrotum and my anus. A tropical climate. It had been quite an adventure the whole evening. I took my hand off the rear hatch and first gave Louis a hug. Not some half-hearted birthday wish. No, a real hug.
"It's okay, buddy," Louis said to me. I had no idea what he meant by that. It fit the moment though.
It was really time now. I opened the rear hatch.
"Where is it?"
"In front of you," said Louis.
"In some secret compartment?"
There was nothing in the trunk. Absolutely nothing. An empty trunk. For an empty evening, in an empty Berlin, with an empty group of guys. I didn't get it.
"You won, man," I whispered. "You finally fucking done did it."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Empty? There was still nothing in the car. Louis just stood there. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I had felt every emotion this evening. Seen every color and smelled every scent. I was done. My body was ready. No longer needed. My mission was complete.
"But why did you do this?" I asked Louis, laughing.
He scratched his chin. It felt like the end of a bad movie.
"I sold our Playstation. Wanted to tell you only after I had sorted everything out again. I terminated my lease. Had some debts, and I also wanted to have some money for once. Once not empty-handed in the club. Once not dependent on my best friends. This is not who I am... I know how much that Playstation meant to you. It was ours together. I should have just told you."
"… and how does Gurb actually make his money?"

I'm new to this group, but I needed to share this because of how powerful it was to me. This was my first mediation where I didn't fall asleep, and fully let myself go. I'll start with some background context.
I've been reading about Wicca on and off in chunks of life since roughly 16 or 17, starting when I bought Teen Witch by Silver RavenWolf. Since then I keep getting pulled back to Wicca after being raised Roman Catholic. With my family religion pretty heavily set, I never really fully pursued Wicca. My heavy focus would come in waves, I'd get a few signs or hints, get the feeling, read more, then something in life would happen to distract me, bad relationship, drug addiction (which I've overcome), bad car accident... I'm 37 now, and this time I'm finally listening to those that have been calling me for all this time.
This past week I feel like my entire focus has been on Wicca. I was browsing Amazon for random starter items, I bought a new binder, loose leaf paper, have a dedicated pen. I haven't wanted to do anything aside from study and meditate. I'm a new homeowner, so I don't really have older collections of items that mis-match that I can dedicate to ritual. I do have stuff to donate, so a trip to the thrift store is in the works. Finance, thankfully, isn't of concern, I just know I'll get attracted to something more meaningful later on and eventually replace the tools I start with.
For now, I cut a fresh 18"x18" piece of nice astrology printed fabric I had yardage of in my stash, bought two prayer candles one red one white, wafted them with my incense while thinking of negativity leaving the objects, and put them on my kitchen counter with the incense, and that's my little shrine for now. I am not doing any ritual workings with these items, yet at least, they are just a daily reminder to me. The next day I got home from work and did a white light visualization on the items. I felt a little off not doing that in the first place, but also thought about how Advent candles aren't blessed/cleansed and felt a little better. I then wanted a glass of red wine and a chocolate chip cookie, and I poured some for the Goddess, and split the cookie with the God. Now, a few days later, the energy feels different, in a good way.
Tonight, I had a nice sit outside with my earbuds in and meditated... until I thought about refinishing the guest bathtub... then focused back on the 64-65% Waxing Gibbous Moon 🌔 in Virgo ♍ (I'm a Virgo on the Libra cusp) looking upon me. My palo santo sticks should be arriving Saturday so I can cleanse the house, so although I can meditate anywhere, I wanted to be under the Moon for this one. This was just me finding my way with a little more "structured" meditation (a.k.a. stay awake for this one.) I kinda wanted it to be a self-dedication, but I didn't do a cleansing bath/shower, so the actual intent was to be a meditation.
I have read a couple hypnosis books a long time ago, as well as a psychic-work book, who knows if they were novelties, but the hypnosis techniques I've seen in the books have shown up in other places. They stuck with me through life, so I've worked with them on myself to help get to sleep, relax, refocus... This time focusing on the piano in the music I had on helped me really tune down. I played the piano a lot when I was younger so I connect with it and music, and a bit crafty with yarn and other media now.
I was laying on my back on the patio couch two-seater whatever, one of the back part cushions to my back against the arm part, one to my right against the actually back part, feet pointing to about 250°W according to my phone compass, mere degrees before it changes to SW... actually I started sitting facing close to 160°S and eventually layed down to the West position after turning the patio lights off at 21:19:15-20, according to my camera. I just looked up at the Moon, let my mind zone out... I started to drop into beta, but then refinishing the bathtub came back up because I want to have a cleansing soak but the finish is chipping. I refocused and looked at the stick on the screen that was slightly offset the Moon. The clouds started to collect, eventually blocking out the Moon, so I closed my eyes and was able to get back to where I was. Visualizing the Moon made my mind race about deities, like I needed to name names and know right now instead of let the discovery happen as it should. I took a few deep breaths, relaxed my body toes to head, and finally let go.
I had envisioned myself walking naked, in a lightly dewed forest, still a bit misty (I know, cliché, right? It's peaceful, shut up. 😂) It's where I wanted to be at that moment. It was like a blend of a forest and jungle, more foresty. Like the transition between the two biomes, but not in a defined split line. I went to sit between some trees, blinked, and was then viewing a 2-tier stream with many many river stones scattered down the banks. Some of them, as well as trees, covered in moss, some of the trees with vines crawling on them.
There was a human form sitting cross-legged with palms on knees and eyes closed on the right corner overlooking the waterfall to it's right, and the straight path it was flowing a few feet below, running towards and under me to the left. The masculine form had short brown hair, blue eyes like mine (he had opened his eyes later on in this visualization), probably 150-ish lbs. For reference, I have dirty blonde hair, 5'9" and 115 lbs.
The forest-jungle behind the man had the standard depiction; lighted areas, dark areas, light shining through moving leaves. I was viewing the form face to face, but a small distance away and my eye-level slightly higher than the top of the form's head. I somewhat felt an attraction to the man's looks. With me being such a small framed person all my life, I've been wanting to gain weight to a healthy range, start working out, and improve my self-confidence in the appearance department. Over the years it's made me a bit shy and timid in groups and meeting people.
My first thought of the form was "Oh that man looks so peaceful." I watched him sit for a minute. For some reason I started to grow concerned about his appearance, almost in a judgmental way. I wasn't picking him apart, I started to compare myself. I felt like that was what I wanted to look like.
Then my hearing started to activate. The music in my earbuds was still there, but sounds from the waterfall started to grow louder on my right, and I could feel the wet ground, the peacefulness, and the energy flowing upwards from my root out my crown... "Wait... why is the waterfall sound on my right? It's to my left." "Why does my butt feel wet?" "Who is that guy?" ...Then I realized...
That form was me. My sight and coherent thought coming from the third-person, feeling and hearing with the sitting form. My concerns grew very heavy as to why the form didn't look like me, if it was in fact me. It almost became unnerving, and I began to deny that the form was me.
I knew it was me, I could feel it.
Still watching in third-person perspective, my form rose up into a standing position, but as if a hand picked it up and the legs went limp and dropped, and the arms propped up on the fingers like a doll, slightly off the ground. The form's head went bald, like all the hairs just decided to jump ship and disappear, my blonde hair grew, and I was placed right back to where I was, looking as I am today, and thrown into first-person perspective, looking though my glasses (astigmatism so the glasses make everything sharper around the edges). I was looking out over the edge of the small waterfall to my right, it went further down into the forest.
Roughly ten feet away, the stream split in two, the left path essentially going straight out in front of me, the second path branching to the right. The forest grew dark and misty as it went on to the left. In the upper-right of my vision there was a break in the trees from the water feature leading to the right with the Sun shining warmly down on everything, including myself. I was hovering over this split in the stream while in the third person, so I couldn't see it before... The Sun felt amazing, surrounding me in warmth and peacefulness.
I stood up to investigate the small sun-soaked pool formed at the split. Then I heard racoons picking at the cat food I left out for my neighbors cat and it snapped me out of it. 😡
I stomped my foot a bit and scared them off. I did see a little one with them so I feel bad, but cat food isn't what they should be eating. Plus I don't want that habit to grow and attract them more.
I brought the cat food in after turning the patio lights back on at 21:46:45, again according to the video. The stick of Nag Champa probably had an inch left. I sat back down and looked up. There was a long break in the clouds and it was just the moon looking down on me through the patio screen and the little stick. I couldn't help but smile.
Super powerful journey in 30 minutes.

Now, I haven't had the time to do a deep dive into this morning's filing or read the room on the general consensus, but allow me the pleasure of waxing on why this has me jacked beyond reason. TL;DR at bottom
First, in stark contrast to our notoriously tight-lipped company's wont, prematurely announcing the anticipated financials does two things:

1. Takes advantage of the elevated price to mitigate the media spin about "poor performance, blah blah" by setting expectations in advance. It's my hunch that they wouldn't post those numbers if they didn't feel confident about meeting or exceeding that bar. This demonstrates a willingness to take a more active role in setting your own narrative, which is a refreshingly proactive chess move by RC and company
2. Releasing this info sends the stock price tumbling. Why do that unless you also want to send a clear message to core investors (who after having the our biases made rock-hard by this recent run-up would auction off our first-born to get more shares at sub-$20 prices) that this is the time to load up?

Second, setting the stage to sell shares on what may or may not prove to be a massive string of towering green dildos made me recall something I wrote back in the heady days of June 9th, 2021--before my wife dumped the boyfriend and once again came a-knocking.
Now, I would love to have been able to link back to my original post, but I have no idea where it has gone. Did Reddit delete it for fear that Superstonk's one true messiah might be irrevocably vindicated, the prophecy made real by its very utterance? Possibly. Did I myself delete it in a fit of angst because it was at least an action I could take when I sure as shit wasn't going to sell my shares? Who can say?
At any rate, for your toilet-browsing pleasure:
​

Apologies for this boring-ass formatting. I’m sitting here hunched over my phone, clearly not catching up on work I was supposed to be doing today.
After today’s roller coaster of emotions, a thought occurred to me. There’s plenty of confirmation bias to signal that the 8-k was trimmed, we own the float, hedges r fuk, etc. Essentially, the thesis has not changed.
What has changed is our understanding of RC’s play. In those precious few hours of crayon-addled fever dreams that lie between AH close and our German brethren’s market reporting, we like to imagine Cohen dropping the proverbial hammer. A curbstomp. A nuke.
Whether it comes in the form of over-vote announcements, crypto dividends, or what have you, there are any number of ways our boys, girls, and gender non-conforming homo sapiens at GME HQ could trigger the MOASS.
Now, aside from some tactically cheeky, cryptic, or otherwise indirect nods, it is clear that RC and company have little intention of forcing the moment.
Now, follow me along on a fanciful, tit-jacking journey:
You’re Ryan Cohen. You know the true, pre-trim vote count. I don’t want to speculate numbers, but let’s say it’s clear to you that the shorts are hopelessly mired in their position and at your mercy.
You could a) trigger the squeeze, get some attention to your company, maybe send the global financial system back to the Stone Age.
Or b) build an empire.
Let the shorts kick the can. As the price inches exponentially upward, you sell some shares. Not enough to allow shorts to cover, but enough to let them temporarily keep kicking the can. Oh, and you build a war chest the likes of which boggles the mind. What’s 5 million shares at $500 average? $1000 average? Can you imagine what could be done with 2.5-5 Billion on top of the 700 million already on hand? Or more?
Take a moment to appreciate the thought.
Now, some interminable number of months pass. You’ve created the first blockchain market for video games, digital collectibles, etc. you’ve ridden the prolonged spotlight into a worldwide media presence that fuels your e-sports competitions. Now the only question about the future of the company is “who’s gonna get to play Cohen in the documentary?”
Long past when the general public FOMOs in, previously skittish institutions buy in, looming squeeze be damned. The value play is clear to all.
Perhaps then you ask your shareholders for one last act of trust. You open the dam. Sell more shares, slowly enough to wring every last bit of capital from the shorts. Your holdings are now several times the GDP of a medium-sized country. Perhaps you issue the MOAD (mother of all dividends). Or, perhaps now that the synthetic shares have largely been neutralized, you look at the real float, buy some of those shares back, and make BRK-A look like a penny stock, and ensure the long-term wealth of your shareholders all while Gary Gensler delivers Ken Griffin’s daily mayo rations to the dank cell under DFV’s castle/large cat preserve.
That’s it. Fuck you, I said it was fanciful. Point is, I don’t think this is going anywhere but up, but ice those boners for a sec, because we need to start thinking like RC and prepare for the long game.

TL;DR -fu I don't care if anyone reads this, lol

Shared by TGC:

✨ We're excited to announce The Art of Sky exhibit & book signing at @gallerynucleus coming June 15!
Pre-order today for the chance to pick up your copy and have it signed at the Los Angeles event.
📖 bit.ly/Pre-orderArtOfSky
🖼️ bit.ly/ArtOfSkyEvent
📖 If you have already preordered your book and are in the LA area, an email will be sent out to you with instructions for how to opt in to collect your order at the event.
Please contact @thatskyshop if you have any questions!
📌 Please note: there are a limited number of books available for pickup. Opting in is not a guarantee of availability for pickup.
Customers will be contacted if their order will be available for collection after the opt-in period concludes on 5/23!

Event page:

THE ART OF SKY

Opening Reception / Jun 15, 1:00PM - 5:00PM
In celebration of the video game SKY and the launch of the new art of book. Nucleus and TGC is hosting a panel / exhibition event.
EVENT DETAILS / LOCATION - Exhibition on display June 15 to June 16, 2024 - Exhibit location: 210 East Main St. Alhambra CA 91801 - FREE admission, No RSVP, all age welcome
PANEL RECEPTION / SIGNING FEATURES - June 15, 2024 - Panel / Q & A (1pm - 3pm) - Signing / Live art demo (3pm - 5pm) - Panel and first hour of signing will be reserved for those who RSVP. After 4 PM, the signing will be open to the public. - RSVPs available with pre-order books on THIS page (link coming soon) - Limit 2 items for signing per person (no random blank papers) - Please arrive at no later 12:30pm to be let into the panel. - Books and other game related merchandise can be purchased before the event outside the gallery at an exclusive thatgamecompnay pop up shop! - Seats are first come first serve. - The panel will be recorded. Please be aware that by attending the panel you may be filmed.
FEATURED ARTIST/S PANELISTS - Yui Tanabe (Visual Development Lead) - Cecil Kim (Art Director) - Reika Yoshino (3D Artist) - Jennie Kong (Narrative Writer)
EVENT EXCLUSIVES - The Art of Sky artbook - more incoming!
ABOUT SKY: CHILDREN OF THE LIGHT
In Sky, players explore a once-prosperous kingdom using a cape that allows them to fly. The in-game world consists of seven unique realms, each with a variety of areas to explore, and a theme representing different stages of life. There is also Home, a small island which serves as the world hub and the starting point for the player. Throughout the world, players encounter "spirits" that allow them to unlock items in return for in-game currency, and "children of light" that give players "winged light." When a player has collected enough winged light, their cape level goes up, allowing them to fly farther.
The game places heavy focus on social mechanics. Players are able to meet and befriend one another, and can unlock new abilities such as chat and sending gifts as their friendship grows. There are also many cosmetic items to collect including capes, masks, hairstyles, hats, pants, playable musical instruments, expressions, and more. These items can be obtained using in-game currency or, in some cases, purchased with real money. Some cosmetics are only available to select players, such as the original beta cape, only available to those who played the beta version prior to the full release of the game.
Sky has multiple in-game currencies. "Candles" are the main currency of Sky, and are exchanged with spirits and friends in return for items and abilities. Candles are obtained by collecting pieces of light (called wax in game) and forging them, or by purchasing them for real money. "Hearts" are the social currency of Sky, and are obtained when players receive gifts from others, or can be bought directly from spirits with candles. Hearts are primarily used to purchase cosmetic items from spirits. "Ascended candles" are the rarest currency in Sky, which are rewarded to players for giving their winged light to "The fallen" at the end of the game. Ascended candles are exchanged with spirits for "wing buffs," which give players extra Winged Light, or can be used to upgrade friendship and purchase various spells such as height alteration and cape recharge. Another form of currency called "Event Currency", introduced in the 0.21.5 update, is a type of currency that is only available for specific events. Event Currency was created to bring equity to newer players and allow for event-specific in-game currency (IGC) items to be obtained easier.
^{Reminder I’m not TGC staff, just reposting their announcements :D}

Last Event recap:
Derrick Lewis def. Rodrigo Nascimento
Joaquin Buckley def. Nursulton Ruziboev
Carlos Ulberg def. Alonzo Menifield
Carlos Diego Ferreira def. Mateusz Rębecki
Sean Woodson def. Alex Caceres
Waldo Cortes-Acosta def. Robelis Despaigne
Chase Hooper def. Viacheslav Borshchev
Esteban Ribovics def. Terrance McKinney
Tabatha Ricci def. Tecia Pennington
Trey Waters def. Billy Goff
Charles Johnson def. Jake Hadley
Veronica Hardy def. JJ Aldrich

Betting record 2024: 109-70
Prediction record 2024: 125-73
After looking at the matchups, this weekend’s card has to be easily the worst card of the year and honestly, I am not even motivated to watch this card and even I do not even recommend on betting on this card since these matchups are difficult to predict but I will try my best nonetheless because analyzing and making UFC fight predictions is what I love to do.
On another note, I am planning to create youtube videos on MMA soon. The channel will be KnockoutWatcher. So stay tuned for updates on those. Also you can find me at Tapology at “KnockoutWatcher”.

Featherweight: Edson Barboza vs. Lerone Murphy
Edson Barboza is renowned for his exceptional striking, particularly his devastating leg kicks and spinning techniques. He has a wealth of experience in the UFC and has faced top-level competition throughout his career. However, Edson Barboza is 38 at this point and he is way past his prime. He barely survived against Sodiq Yussuff in his last fight
Lerone Murphy, on the other hand, is an undefeated prospect with a balanced skill set. He combines solid striking with effective grappling, making him a versatile threat. Murphy has shown good composure under pressure and the ability to adapt his game plan as needed. His primary weakness is a lack of experience against the elite level of competition that Barboza has faced.
I have to be honest, I was going back and forth on who to pick on this fight and ultimately, I am going with Barboza here as he has more experience in this format and this could go like his previous fight where Murphy is getting the better of him in the earlier rounds before Barboza settle into his rhythm and mount a comeback.
Prediction: Edson Barboza to win.

Welterweight: Khaos Williams vs. Carlston Harris
Khaos Williams is known for his explosive knockout power and aggressive striking. His ability to finish fights quickly with devastating punches makes him a formidable opponent in the welterweight division. However, Williams can be overly reliant on his power and sometimes neglects his defensive game, leaving him vulnerable to counterattacks and grappling exchanges.
Carlston Harris, in contrast, brings a well-rounded skill set to the octagon. He excels in grappling, with solid submission skills and the ability to control opponents on the ground. Harris also possesses decent striking, which complements his grappling-heavy approach.
So this is a classic striker vs grappler matchup and while it may be tempting to pick the younger guy, Harris has performed reasonably well in his last few fights against strikers that that can hit hard like Jeremiah Wells and Gooden. I think Harris has a path to victory if he can bring Williams to the ground and smother him.
Prediction: Carlston Harris to win.

Light Heavyweight: Oumar Sy vs. Antonio Trócoli
Oumar Sy is an emerging talent in the light heavyweight division, known for his athleticism and well-rounded skill set. He combines striking and grappling effectively, showing proficiency in controlling the pace of the fight and capitalizing on his opponents' weaknesses. Tuco Tokkos is making his UFC debut on a short notice here after Antonio Trócoli pulled out. So there is a lot of unknown variable with him. I am going to have to go with my original pick Oumar Sy here
Prediction: Oumar Sy to win.

Bantamweight: Adrian Yanez vs. Vinicius Salvador
I think this fight is a big mismatch. On one hand you have Adrian Yanez , known for his exceptional boxing skills, speed, and precision. Yanez is in interesting prospect in the Bantamweight division as even though he is on a 2 fight losing streak, he had won his first 5 fights in the UFC including multiple KO finishes. His ability to deliver powerful, accurate strikes makes him a formidable opponent in stand-up exchanges.
On the other side of the corner, you have Vinicius Salvador who is a chaotic, aggressive and flashy striker but he has 2 losses since making his debut in the UFC which raises the question if he is even UFC material. I think this is a one sided matchup as Yanez has shown from his previous fights that he is a quality fighter while the other struggles to get even one win at this level. This is a perfect bounce back fight for Yanez to get back into the win column and I think he will outclass Salvador with his boxing skills.
Prediction: Adrian Yanez to win.

Women's Strawweight: Luana Pinheiro vs. Angela Hill
Luana Pinheiro is a rising talent in the strawweight division, known for her judo background and powerful takedowns. She excels in controlling her opponents on the ground and has shown effective ground-and-pound.
Angela Hill, a veteran of the division, is known for her high-volume striking, excellent footwork, and durability. Hill's strengths lie in her kickboxing and ability to maintain a high pace throughout the fight. She has faced some of the best fighters in the division, which gives her a significant experience advantage. I think Hill is kind of underrated despite here record and she should deal more significant strikes in this fight than Pinheiro.
Prediction: Angela Hill to win.

Welterweight: Themba Gorimbo vs. Ramiz Brahimaj
Themba Gorimbo is a well-rounded fighter with a solid striking base and decent grappling skills. He is known for his athleticism, endurance, and ability to adapt during fights. Not sure what the Rock saw in him but he will forever be known as the guy the Rock gave a house to. Ramiz Brahimaj, on the other hand, is a submission specialist with a strong background in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. His strength lies in his ability to finish fights on the ground, with most of his victories coming by way of submission. Gorimbo should be athletic enough here to beat Ramiz. Again, these fighters aren’t elite but Brahimaj probably can’t keep up with his more athletic opponent.
Prediction: Themba Gorimbo to win.

Middleweight: Abus Magomedov vs. Warlley Alves
Abus Magomedov is a well-rounded fighter with a strong striking base and competent grappling skills. He is known for his powerful and precise striking, which he uses effectively to control the distance and pace of his fights. Warlley Alves may not be in his level in terms of his quality as a fighter. His record suggest that he is nothing more than a mediocre fighter so I expect Magomedov to get the job done here and put him away
Prediction: Abus Magomedov to win.

Lightweight: Victor Martinez vs. Tom Nolan
I really hate this kind of fights. Both fighters may not even be UFC quality. Tom Nolan was knocked out by Nikolas Motta who is a jobber and Martinez had no win in his UFC career either. The odds here is ridiculous but I am just going to pick Nolan because of his physical attributes and potential.
Prediction: Tom Nolan to win.

Women's Strawweight: Piera Rodriguez vs. Ariane Carnelossi
Piera Rodriguez offers a balanced MMA game with strong striking and grappling fundamentals. Ariane Carnelossi is tough and aggressive, thriving in brawls. Rodriguez's technical striking and movement might outmaneuver Carnelossi.
Prediction: Piera Rodriguez to win.

Flyweight Alateng Heili vs. Kleydson Rodrigues
Not sure how Kleydson Rodrigues is the favourite in this fight since he as not been impressive since coming to the UFC so far with his only win coming against Shannon Ross. I am definitely comfortable with picking Alateng Heili as the underdog here as he has more experience in the UFC with 4 wins, 2 losses and 1 draw. He is decent in grappling and striking as well even though he isn’t really excellent in either. I think the bookmakers have it wrong here as Alateng should have been the favourite and I do not think that he should have much trouble handling Rodrigues as the latter may not even be UFC quality.
Prediction: Alateng Heili to win.

Women's Strawweight: Vanessa Demopoulos vs. Emily Ducote
Another low level WMMA fight. Ok Emily Ducote isn’t anything special and should not be a heavy favourite here. She is probably better than her opponent Vanessa Demopoulos but the gap is not that big. I am expecting her to outstrike her opponent but I think Demopoulos has a decent chance as an underdog. What I like about her is that she stays active even when on bottom position by throwing elbows from the bottom to hurt her opponent which was how she got her last win. I am expecting another boring low level fight here and I am just going to pick the underdog because I think the fight will be a lot closer than the odds suggest.
Prediction: Vanessa Demopoulos to win.

Y’all, I’m really not sure what’s still around. This list is somewhat edited, but please still make sure to check on all the regular events before you make big plans – I may have missed something.
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  

THURSDAY, 5/16

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Fire Bettys: Slasher Bash. This week we'll be showing: "Zombeavers". Prepare for an evening of horrific hilarity with comedy narration and devilish drinking games!🍻 Hosted by local comedians. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Seep's Gumbo Nation ft. Shanice Richards. 8pm
  

FRIDAY, 5/17

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Rachel Hillman. 5:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Ben Wentworth. 5:30pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: The Tanglers. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: One Year Anniversary Celebration Featuring Queen of Hearts Band. 6pm
  
• Southwood Golf Club: The Rhythm Remedy. 6:30pm
  
• Goodwood: The Big Bash Havana Nights presented by Brent Hartsfield. The Big Bash is Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Big Bend's signature fundraising gala of the year and directly supports the agency's youth mentoring programs. Guests will enjoy Cuban Cuisine, champagne mojitos, cigars, flights, classic cars, photo opportunities, silent auction vacation packages, LIVE music and dancing, and an exciting LIVE salsa dance performance from 12 community volunteers! The event is a tremendous networking opportunity for Tallahassee's top business professionals, local community leaders and philanthropists to come together to enjoy an evening to celebrate the achievements of Big Brothers Big Sisters. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wil Fulkerson Jazz Night. 8pm
  
• House of Music: Belly Dancing: Journey From The Nile To The Tigris. Habibi, join us on a groovy carpet ride across ancient deserts: Disco Iskandar embarks on a voyage of belly dance, folklore, cinema, and history in a theatrical dance production, JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS. Highlighting the prominence of belly dance in films of the Middle East from the 1940s through the 1970s, we present a live showcase exhibiting dances from Egypt, Turkey, Iraq, and beyond. It goes so much deeper than you think. Hookahs! Swords! Rhinestones, literally everywhere! This cross section of entertainment and education is the culmination of years of obsessive learning, two national tours, and travels to Egypt & Lebanon. JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS is a trip unlike any other-- where the Middle East meets Vegas. This show’s cast is Gabi Corazon, Gia Bee, Liz Azi, Olya Clark, Vania Ojeda, director Veronica Lynn, and special guest star Omaris! 8pm/$15/21+
  
• The Sound Bar: The Old Schoolers. 8pm
  
• Vino Beano: Your Scumbag Neighbors. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Medians, No Yeah, Sleep John B, and Cloud Storage. 8pm
  

SATURDAY, 5/18

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Crawfordville: Big Bend Biodiversity Tour. See why our area is so ecologically incredible! Get up close and personal with creatures and plants galore. Join expert guide and outdoor educator, Ryan Means for this limited opportunity to tour the Apalachicola Lowlands Preserve. The day-long trip stops at points along the way to the privately-owned preserve nestled deep in the Apalachicola National Forest near Sumatra, FL. Explore the longleaf pine ecosystem, pitcher plant bogs, ephemeral wetlands, and blackwater streams - home to some threatened and endangered species. Learn what makes the Florida Panhandle one of the five richest biodiversity hotspots in North America. Perfect tour for photographers, outdoor enthusiasts and ecologists. $75 tour fee includes round-trip transportation (from 46 Kinsey Rd, Crawfordville, FL) , complimentary beverages, and supports efforts to preserve the incredible biodiversity of the Southeastern Coastal Plain. Spaces limited. Register here: https://coastalplains.networkforgood.com/events/71083-big-bend-biodiversity-tour for full details. 8am
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Rock Type One to None. Let's rock to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes! The Unicorn Wranglers are back on Saturday, May 18th at Dreamland BBQ in Tallahassee, Florida for the 2024 "Rock One to None" show. This show is benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (JDRF) and will feature musical guests Midnight Caravan, Fallen Timber, and the Unicorn Wranglers. The show starts at 4 pm and runs until 7 pm at Dreamland BBQ in Music Alley, and is open to all ages. While the show is free, we encourage all rockers attending to donate to the cause. You can contribute at the show by visiting our donation station or by heading over to our online Unicorn Wranglers team page. Together, as one big mosh pit, we can help cure Type 1 Diabetes. 3pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Ethan Kyllonen. 4pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Beza Alford and Rev. Dr. Sheldon Steen. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Flamingo Party. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Billy Rigsby Band. 6pm
  
• Vino Beano: Brett & "Dangerous" Dave. 6pm
  
• Salty Dawg: Hot Mess. 6:30pm
  
• La Tiendita: Rhys Bennett & the Gringos as Vontade. Join us for an energetic evening filled with the vibrant sounds of Latin music, Brazilian beats, and jazz rhythms. Our local band, Rhys Bennett & the Gringos, will transform into the versatile ensemble Vontade, treating you to a delightful mix of rancheras, bossa nova, and more! Whether you're a seasoned dancer or a newcomer to the dance floor, you're in for a fantastic time at one of Tallahassee's hidden gems. Immerse yourself in a night of cultural fusion and musical celebration that is sure to create lasting memories! 6:30pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Tillman & Taff. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Midnight Caravan. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Saturnalia, Brass Wizard, Van Season, and Psycho Tropical. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: 80's Video Dance Party. 8pm
  
• Just One More: One Eyed JAK. 9pm
  

SUNDAY, 5/19

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  

• Ology Powermill: Marauders Market. Noon
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: The Barber Bros. 1pm-4pm
  
• Goodwood: Ice Cream Social. Get ready for a spectacular day of family fun at Goodwood Museum & Gardens! Treat your taste buds to a family fun day of FREE ice cream, FREE crafts for the kids, FREE activities, and more, all on the beautiful Goodwood grounds. Family-friendly musical entertainment will be provided by The Safari Man, who will have everyone tapping their feet and dancing along to his whimsical tunes. 1pm
  
• Common Ground Books: Contemporary Queer Poetry Book Club: Time is a Mother. This month, we’ll be reading “Time is a Mother” by Ocean Vuong. “In this deeply intimate second poetry collection, Ocean Vuong searches for life among the aftershocks of his mother's death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. Vivid, brave and propulsive, Vuong's poems contend with personal loss, the meaning of family, and the value of joy in a perennially fractured American spirit. The author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, winner of the 2016 Whiting Award, the 2017 T. S. Eliot Prize and a 2019 MacArthur fellow, Vuong writes directly to our humanity without losing sight of the current moment. Bold and prescient, and a testament to tenderness in the face of violence, Time is a Mother is a return and a forging-forth all at once.” 6pm
  

MONDAY, 5/20

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 5/21

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

• Tallahassee Junior Museum: Basic Blacksmith Skills Program. Light your curiosity at our upcoming Basic Blacksmith Skills Program! Join our resident blacksmith, Michael Murphy, as he shares his history of being a Smitty. Participants will be able to keep the fire going, sling a hammer, and throw knives during this two hour lecture program. This is an outdoor event. Must preregister online at tallahasseemuseum.org/events. This program is free for members and regular admission price for non-members. 10am

WEDNESDAY, 5/22

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

[I shared this in girls and gays but wanted to share here as well for those of you not in that sub]
With Kendrick Lamar and Drake’s rap feud raging over the last month, I got curious about what their natal charts say about each of them as rappers, and how the astrological synastry between the two has fueled this chart-topping fight. Luckily we have an accurate birth time for both Drake and Kendrick, so we can see exactly how their charts overlap.
Here’s Drake’s chart:
And here’s Kendrick’s chart:
Inconjunct Suns
Kendrick has a Gemini sun, like many of hip hop’s greatest rappers, including Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Lauryn Hill and Outkast’s Andre 3000. Geminis are well-suited to rap as the wordsmiths of the zodiac, one of the two signs ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. Virgo, the other sign ruled by Mercury, expresses the analytical, practical, pragmatic side of the mind, the so-called “left brain” which sorts the wheat from the chaff (and, fittingly, Virgo season aligns with the harvest season of late summer).
Gemini expresses the more playful, self-expressive, hyper-curious “right brain” side of the mind - the monkey mind that swings from branch to branch, seeing connections as it goes. “Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation.”
Drake is a Scorpio sun, bringing a very different energy to the table. Scorpios seek power above all, and they live life intensely. If Gemini is the court jester, taking life lightly and poking fun at it all, Scorpio is the dark knight plotting and positioning himself for a coup. As one of the two signs ruled by Mars, the planet of war and competition, Scorpios don’t back down from competition, and as a fixed modality sign, they can struggle to let go–even of what hurts them. Scorpios are drawn to the darker sides of life - they know that secrets hold power, so they tend toward privacy, as shown in Drake’s last rap beef, when Pusha T revealed that he had secretly fathered a son with a porn star.
Gemini and Scorpio have a tricky inter-dynamic, with an aspect between them known as a quincunx, or an inconjunct. Quincunxes occur when planets are 150 degrees apart, and therefore share neither an element (water, fire, earth, or air) nor a modality (cardinal, fixed, or mutable). They are at odds in a very fundamental way, and though they can teach each other a lot, in order to get along they will have to make some serious adjustments.
“When these signs get together, they just can’t understand each other. They have almost nothing in common, so it’s hard to find common ground. When a quincunx shows up in a synastry or relationship reading, this can make for a tense or difficult relationship.” This natural repelling dynamic is expressed in Kendrick’s diss song Euphoria (“I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk/I hate the way that you dress/I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct”).
Drake’s ascendant is placed at 29 degrees Leo, exactly conjunct the royal fixed star Regulus. Regulus is one of the luckiest stars in the zodiac, and it is often seen in the charts of celebrities. “On the Ascendant, it will give a courageous and frank character. A splendid and illustrious life; glorious, mighty and commanding nature; fame, busy with many activities, bountiful resources, well known or feared in cities and regions.” But with Regulus on the ascendant, expanding the already narcissistic tendencies of Leo, there is a risk for an over-expansion of the ego and a lack of humility. Drake wants to be the best by all accounts - not just the biggest commercial superstar, which he is, but also the most critically acclaimed rapper, like Pulitzer Prize-winning Kendrick.
Mercury and Mars vs. Mercury and Venus
When it comes to analyzing writers of any sort, I like to look at their Mercuries, and here we see a fascinating contrast. Kendrick’s Mercury is located in intuitive, emotional Cancer (just like Lana del Rey, who I analyzed last week), and it is conjoined with Mars, the planet of war, which is what makes him such a formidable opponent in a rap battle. “Mercury conjunct Mars natal gives a quick mind, rapid reflexes, and a sharp tongue. These attributes are ideal for making quick decisions in the heat of the moment while others hesitate. Excellent debating skills allow you to stand up not only for yourself but for the rights of others. Your enthusiastic, direct and courageous way of expressing yourself can win admiration in politics, business, and the military.”
I think Mercury in combination with Mars is the ideal aspect for the competitive sport of rap, and interestingly enough, Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G., who famously feuded and are considered by many to be the all-time greatest rappers, both had these planets tightly combined (Tupac had Mercury trine Mars with a 1 degree orb, and Biggie had Mercury septile Mars with a 0 degree orb).
Drake, by contrast, has his Mercury conjoined with Mars’ planetary opposite, Venus. Mercury conjoined with creative Venus is a great aspect for a musician, but it lacks the teeth of competitive Mars. “Mercury conjunct Venus natal makes you a lovable, handsome, neat, refined, romantic, and courteous person. You may tend to be passive and submissive, but this is a means by which you achieve peace in your life. You can lovingly communicate things; a melodic, poetic, and relaxing voice often helps this. Mercury rules trade, and Venus rules money, so you could do well in business and enjoy buying and selling.”
Many of Drake’s biggest hits show this melodic Mercury-Venus aspect - like the no-rapping, all-singing “Hold On, We’re Going Home,” “Hotline Bling” and “One Dance,” or the purported feminist anthem “Nice for What.” Many think Drake is best as a pop star rather than a rapper, which Kendrick references in Euphoria (“I like Drake with the melodies, I don't like Drake when he act tough” “Keep makin' me dance, wavin' my hand and it won't be no threat”).
Mercury conjunct Venus should be a very positive aspect for Drake, and in many ways it is – as two of the planets that rule over money (Mercury the marketplace, and Venus the possessions), this aspect is part of why he’s had such incredible financial success. However, a few factors complicate it. For one thing, they are located together in Scorpio, ruled by Mars. His Mercury is expressed in a Venusian way, but it wants to be expressed in a Martian way. I think this is why Drake returns regularly to gangster rap despite his success in pop and R&B. He wants to be a Mercury-Mars rap powerhouse like Kendrick, Biggie, and Tupac, but he’s fundamentally different. From the beginning of his career he’s been taunted as soft, weak, feminine, privileged–all very Venusian adjectives.
Another complicating factor is that Drake’s Venus is doubly challenged - it is both in detriment in Scorpio, as well as retrograde. Venus is in detriment in Scorpio because it rules over Scorpio’s opposite, Taurus, and so the planet is not at ease in suspicious, jealous Scorpio. “Fears of being too vulnerable or of giving up their own power to others is strong. Scorpio is an “all or nothing” energy, and relationships tend to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride as a result. Disdain for mediocrity and superficiality can compel them to create crises in order to feel alive and vital.”
Venus retrograde in the natal chart “suggests you have some difficulty in giving and receiving love and affection. You may experience sadness in love or have to endure hardship or delay. Natal Venus in retrograde can also show as excessive use of makeup and jewelry or even disfigurement from cosmetic surgery.” It’s interesting how some of the allegations against Drake in Kendrick’s songs have included a nose job and a Brazilian butt lift. After Drake told Metro Boomin to “shut up and make some drums” in his initial Kendrick diss Push Ups, the producer responded with “BBL Drizzy.”
Drake has never been married or had a public long-term relationship. His highest profile one with Rihanna was on-again, off-again, and at times seemed more like unrequited love than true commitment. When interviewed about the relationship, he said “As life takes shape and teaches you#Personal_life) your own lessons, I end up in this situation where I don't have the fairy tale [of] 'Drake started a family with Rihanna, [it's] so perfect.' It looks so good on paper [and] I wanted it too at one time.” Two years ago Drake had jeweler Alex Moss create a necklace worth $12.5 million dollars built from dozens of engagement rings he had made but never used: ““New piece titled ‘Previous Engagements’ for all the times he thought about it but never did it,” Moss wrote over a video showcasing the stunning necklace, which is made up of “42 engagement rings” totaling “351.38 carats in diamonds.”” It’s quite the testament to a challenged natal Venus.
Lilith Synastry
Here is Drake and Kendrick’s synastry (Drake is on the outer circle):
The most interesting thing I found digging into Drake and Kendrick’s charts was the presence of Lilith in their synastry. Lilith is an asteroid associated with the “angry woman” figure as well as female liberation. In some Jewish folklore Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but she was banished from the Garden of Eden for not obeying him and replaced with Eve.
“In the intricacies of a birth chart, Black Moon Lilith symbolizes the raw essence of femininity, the primal urges, and the suppressed parts of our psyche that lie in the shadows. This point, not a planet but a mathematical point, reveals where one might feel estranged, challenged, or empowered to go against the grain of societal norms. It unveils deep-seated desires, innate instincts, and perhaps the areas where one feels the need to challenge established roles or expectations. It's a place of power, mystique, and, occasionally, friction – pinpointing where one's true nature might clash with the conventional, leading to feelings of marginalization or rebellion.”
The allegations Drake and Kendrick threw at each other both had to do with mistreatment of women - Drake said that Kendrick abused his fiancée, and Kendrick said Drake was a pedophile who shouldn’t be trusted around young women.
Both Drake and Kendrick’s Liliths make tight aspects with the other’s chart. “Whenever Lilith is around, you can expect to feel a wild, intense, deep, and sometimes obsessive energy. If you have Lilith aspects in synastry then this energy will show up in your relationship. Whenever your Lilith touches one of your partner’s planets or vice-versa, you can expect to see your deepest fears revealed. You might also see glimpses of things you desire but can’t have. Ultimately, Lilith aspects in synastry give both partners a chance to work on their shadow sides.”
Kendrick’s sun exactly conjoins Drake’s Lilith at 26 degrees Gemini. “Often, the sun person [Kendrick] represents all that the Lilith person [Drake] wants but can never quite “catch.” There is an illusive vibe to this relationship. The Lilith person may feel somewhat less-than or “bad.” Lilith conjunct sun in synastry is a test for the Lilith person because their most taboo qualities such as obsession and anger will be activated, but it’s also a test for the sun person. The lesson is for the sun individual to stand their ground and follow their inner voice. Lilith is neither good nor bad, and the sun person can share in some of the Lilith partner’s activities without merging.”
This resonates with the fact that despite Drake’s huge commercial success, he is deeply jealous of Kendrick’s critical success. In Family Matters Drake took a jab at Kendrick’s acclaim (“Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now”), and the beef between them played out similarly, with many rap fans deciding that Kendrick won before even listening to Drake. I think it’s obvious that Kendrick is a stronger rapper, but it’s also clear that Drake wasn’t given a fair shake.
Drake’s Lilith makes a tight trine to Kendrick’s Mercury. “Both the Lilith person and the Mercury person help each other to bring unhealed deeper wounds and unconscious emotion to the surface and articulate deeper, wild instincts. Mercury person [Kendrick] helps Lilith person [Drake] make sense of their inner restlessness and insecurities, sexual passions and unresolved rage. Mercury person may find Lilith person to be highly emotional but is also intrigued by Lilith person’s edgy and unique perspective.” It’s remarkable that both of their Liliths are interlocked with each other’s inner planets, creating a push-pull, love-hate, shadow-enlightening dynamic between the two.
I think the obsession goes both ways, and that part of the reason Kendrick fought back so viciously was because Drake triggers something in him shown through the Lilith synastry. Drake shows Kendrick what he could be–a charismatic playboy enjoying his fame and money to the fullest. And in engaging with the feud he stooped to a lower level, making unsupported claims about Drake’s supposed secret daughter, and writing a rap song (Meet the Grahams) addressed to Drake’s 5 year old son opening with “Dear Adonis, I’m sorry that man is your father.” All is fair in rap battles–or is it? Questlove called it out, saying on Instagram: “Nobody won the war. This wasn’t about skill. This was a wrestling match level mudslinging and takedown by any means necessary — women & children (& actual facts) be damned.”
Kendrick’s latest diss track Not Like Us has just debuted at number one on the Billboard Top 100, and it’s clear this battle has propelled him to another level of stardom. Drake’s Regulus ascendant arrogance and Scorpionic desire to fight to the death drove him to attack the strongest living rapper, and now he’s dealing with the fallout. Kendrick’s streams of his back catalog are up 50%, while Drake’s are down 5% and his reputation has taken a massive knock. But Kendrick has taken a hit as well. Having rap’s two biggest stars accusing each other of heinous crimes might drive up streams in the short run, but it’s a dangerous game. Astrology helps us understand why these two polar opposites are so intertwined, and why their mutual dislike has spurred on such a captivating firestorm.