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Charity Case Mini Event
2024.05.21 23:32 Ellieisasmartcookie Charity Case Mini Event
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2024.05.21 23:26 Wandering-Villager ICSD Budget
Good afternoon!
To all my fellow Ithaca residents, please make sure to take to the polls today, to vote in the Ithaca City School District Board of Education election. If you believe in public education, making sure our students, teachers and support staff are getting the resources and tools they need to thrive and succeed, you will make time to get to the pools, between 12pm and 9pm. If you don’t have access to transportation, I am happy to transport folks (send me a message on Facebook or email)
As many of you know, I spent 6 years on the Board of Education, until I made the difficult decision to resign two years ago. After receiving many Facebook messages, text messages, and phone calls in the past 24 hours from friends and community members asking me who they should vote for and if they should vote yes/no to the budget, I have decided to share my thoughts publicly so I can get back to my 9-5 job for the day . As a single mom of three and a homeowner, I empathize with the sentiment of people feeling like they can no longer afford to rent or own a home in Ithaca. However, Ithaca has been becoming unaffordable for quite some time, I say this as someone who has lived in this community for 21 years. This feeling did not start with our assessment that increased this past year or the rollout of the BoE budget. Voting NO to the budget will not change your assessment, it will not “stick it” to administrators, who will get their raises along with other unionized ICSD employees as part of contractual negotiations. Voting NO will punish and hurt children, teachers and supporting staff. Teachers and support staff will have less resources and support to educate and inspire our children if we have to adopt a contingency plan. And our most vulnerable students will suffer the most. “How a society treats its most vulnerable is always the measure of its humanity” – Ghandi. In this context, how ICSD cares for and educates its most vulnerable students is an indication of how well the school district fares in educating its school community.
As we have all read about four of our schools losing “Good Standing” status with NYSED, and our Black and Brown students feeling the impact of this the most; how can we as a community in good conscious, say that we will provide our children, our future leaders with less than they deserve to overcome the many obstacles that the pandemic has created. For all the caregivers, educators, mental health workers out there, we all know - no one is okay! Some of us were not okay before we were forced into a few years of isolation, so to expect our educators to be able to reconcile the damages that the pandemic created with fewer resources is setting our educators up for the impossible. And yes, taxpayers should not have to bear the weight of this alone when we live in a town with college/university campuses. So instead of glorifying the problem, why don’t we talk about structural solutions? How many of us know Anna Kelles and Lea Webb personally, socially or professionally? Why don’t we bring in our state representatives to help us think about structural long-term solutions of state aid and university contributions? And while we are at it, invite Governor Kathy Hochul who sits on the Board of Trustees of Cornell University to this conversation; why are we not thinking strategically about those who hold power to shift this paradigm? I know this will take time, and folks are concerned with the now.
What can we do now? We can do an inventory of what ICSD offers and provides our students and staff from academics to extracurricular activities. We can ask the questions of, what is the district allocating funding for and is it effective and for whom? The district has an Evaluation Officer, we need to hear from her on what are the impacts of our initiatives, programs, and the curriculum offerings. Our teachers and support staff have unions and union leaders. We need to hear from the union leaders, not just during budget season or when chaos is amiss, but throughout the academic years so we know how best to support teachers all year long.
I will be voting yes to the budget. Yes, it is a huge increase. But guess what folks? We have 12 schools in our very small city, and we are living during a time of high inflation so the services needed to support all these 12 schools have increased. A typical classroom in our building has many adults. I bring this up because I constantly hear the comparison of salary of ICSD teachers to teachers outside the district who are making more than ICSD teachers. 9/10 times these teachers in other districts are making more money because they don’t have co-teachers, teachers assistants, teacher aides, 1:1s, etc. I am in NO way making the argument to have less support in the classroom or to eliminate positions, I am pointing out that our district has a larger supporting staff than many other districts. Teachers and supporting staff deserve a HIGHER wage without question. But this is not an ICSD only problem, this is a nationwide issue. Our country has not put anywhere near enough funding into public education that is needed. And this is not an excuse for the Board or the highly paid administration team. But we have to be real about what are the root causes vs. symptoms of the problems. Give this article a read if you have time: Schools are bracing for widespread teacher layoffs. Here’s why CNN Politics
Now the tricky part of this post, who I am voting for. I am going to be brutally honest because that is just who I am. After attending the public forum with all seven candidates, I left with very very strong opinions of what I witnessed and heard. I plan to vote for Barry Derfel, Moira Long, and Eldred Harris. I know Barry Derfel very peripherally from sitting on the BoE, as well as when I worked for the Multicultural Resource Center, and he was supporting teachers with culturally responsive teaching as well as participating with the Talking Circles initiative. What I know of Barry, is that he is a supporter of equity and inclusion, meaning NO CHILD GETS LEFT BEHIND. Barry has been a teacher, an administrator, and is a parent – he understands the many facets of public education and how we are thriving as a district and how we are failing as a district. Two truths can stand side by side.
I was on the BoE with both Eldred and Moira during my tenure, and it was not always cordial and a walk in the park between us. But what I can say, is that in those behind the door conversations, heated debates, I rarely ever questioned their commitment to children and teachers and support staff. Moira has always championed for teachers and retirees; she understands their plight and struggles as a former teacher herself. Eldred and I both grew up in NYC (though he is my senior by maybe a couple decades) and understand the struggles of being hyper visible yet unseen, overcoming adversity, attending underfunded schools, and taught by teachers who were tasked with the impossible. I know Eldred to be someone who is going to champion for what is best for every child, someone who is going to tap into their radical imagination to think of another way forward, someone who has institutional knowledge and knows how far the district has come, and someone who is willing to ask the hard questions.
I’m going to close this long monologue by saying I believe in creating space for new voices at the table. However, some of these new voices are advocating for changes that will hurt specific populations of children, like candidates who are advocating to bring back policies such as "tracking", while research shows tracking has a disparaging outcome for students and frankly is a racist policy. I said it. There are also candidates who have flip flopped on their support of the budget, telling ITA they would vote yes and after receiving the teacher’s union endorsement telling community members, they would vote no for the budget. Misleading your constituents is never a good sign and not a good way to build community trust and engagement. If I had to vote for a fourth candidate, it would be Todd Fox. He was honest and transparent about his talents and his lack of knowledge of the processes within public education. However, he spoke with passion and authenticity when speaking about his experiences in the school district as a student, and the support he wished he had as a former ICSD student. What I hope for in a school board member, is someone is not afraid to ask the hard questions, someone who listens with compassion and empathy (even if they disagree), someone who takes the time to get to know their constituents and can be honest with themselves and their fellow board members when they are individually or collectively are missing the mark. And most importantly, someone who is is always thinking about equity, and who is at the table and who is not. Our district is in need of school board members who are looking beyond what their individual child needs and instead is looking at what all of our children need in order to receive an equitable education that allows them to more than survive but to thrive within ICSD.
(excuse my typos I don’t have the energy to edit this another time, apologies)
Nicole LaFave
Nicole LaFave Interim Director of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging Office of Diversity and Inclusion Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management Cornell University
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2024.05.21 23:03 HisLoba97 That is it. I'm going to jump off the bridge infront of a train.
I'm a 26 year old autistic man and transgender (it is relevant to the story) from England and basically I moved from Cornwall to Preston to live with my girlfriend. Basically I used to be a very introvert person but since moving here 3 years ago in the past year I've wanted to make some friends so I did just that and went to a pub one day and met an older guy (58 year old man) who I considered a good friend.
Well anyway I've known him about a year maybe and he was a nice bloke, we would share rounds of drinks and that. He told me had suffered 2 strokes and a heart attack, he also lost his dad who he was close too about 4 years ago. I helped him as he helped me become more sociable. I had him on Facebook and WhatsApp as a contact who I'd message.
After about 3 months of knowing him he told me he fancied an 18 year old, he was telling me lets go and meet him all the time at his work place which i thought was really weird but I didnt believe him that he actually liked an 18 year old. But it was just weird in my opinion It turned very weirder when he got rejected by him. He would go on about hating black men but he'd "joke" that he would shag a black man because the size of their penis to which I thought he's drank too much il just ignore him and go home for the night. He then got creepy towards me saying because I'm trans he would like to have a 3some along with another trans person and when I turned it down he said he hated trans people and that were perverts to children. I then stopped hanging out with him for a while due to his racism and transphobia. My girlfriend was aware of this and agreed that I shouldn't hang out with him.
In August last year I went out and met him randomly whilst we was in the same pub and he apologised and said he didn't mean any of it and that he was drunk and being really stupid. I was sat with another friend of mine and he said just talk to him basically. He was fine and I forgave him. That same night I was sat in a pub and I had left my phone with my friend whilst I went for the toilet. To which I came back and it was gone. I looked everywhere and even broke down crying I asked him if he had seen it and he said no. I was crying and went home but realised I had a tracking app on my tablet at home to locate it. Well sure enough it came up to his house when I googled the street! So I demanded my phone back and he said yeh he had it and that it was a joke and that he was going to give it back anyway. I decided that was absolutely it and I'd never meet him again.
I was getting on with my life I was getting help for all my problems I was facing with autism and had him blocked for ages. My friend messages me one day out the blue saying basically he is threatening suicide because I had him blocked and that he had been sectioned because of me. I unblocked him and sent him a message saying "I want you to leave me and my friends alone for good I don't want anything to do with you" he told me he wanted to meet me and talk to me face to face and I did... I probably shouldn't of done. Anyway I made friends with him stupidly but didn't hang out with him as much.. my girlfriend always said he picked on me cos I'm considered a very vulnerable adult.
To the point I'm getting too this was just context. I've not met him for a drink since January I told him I didn't want to go out as I was focusing on university and to be true I lied to him a lot because I didn't wanna meet him. Ever since I said that to him he's been driving his car past my house and taking pictures of it and sending it to me on WhatsApp. Now he's faking heart attacks and that if I don't talk to him he will kill himself, he's not leaving me alone (I have blocked him) but he's been texting me on unknown numbers so I can't block those threatening if I don't talk to him he will tell everyone I know that I'm transgender, that I'm autistic and desperate for a job to the place I applied for for a job. He has stalked me to find out where I live basically and
I love Beth Evans she was my best girlfriend
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2024.05.21 22:59 iamsam22222 How I passed first try both SIE and Series 7
As requested, I am going to share a list of things I did that helped me pass my exam yesterday. Just a heads up, this list is going to be more focused on changes that I made in my personal life I strongly attribute to passing both the SIE and Series 7 on my first try while I only had 2 months to do so. I also did not have a group to study with and I did this on my own. I really wanted to prove to my boss that I deserve to work with him and I’m so glad I succeeded. Let’s get into it…
- Eating healthy: sounds stupid but it’s necessary. You have to feed your body good food in order to help better prepare.
- Getting off social media: I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok when I started studying for these exams. I found that I was able to pay attention to my studies for longer periods of time, and I actually don’t miss these apps at all. Life overall is better without them but I think they’re necessary to delete while studying for these exams. I only kept Snapchat, YouTube and Reddit because I didn’t want to be completely cut off from society and friends lol.
- Taking breaks: don’t be afraid to take breaks while studying. There’s no point in trying to wrap your head around a concept if you’re pushing yourself too hard. I would study for about 20 minutes and then I would take a few minutes to chill. I think this technique is great for memorization.
- Study when you feel the best: again, there is no point in pushing yourself too much. You will not be able to memorize concepts if you aren’t feeling your best. Somedays I just was not feeling well and I wouldn’t study for as long as usual. Sleep is also super important.
- Study everyday: I studied everyday for at least 3 hours, most days it was about 5 or 6 hours. I do have the time to be able to do this but my boss gave me 4 weeks to study for this exam so I really had to push it. I increased it to 7 hours everyday during the last week of studying. You have to keep up with memorization. I quit my restaurant job and took a quarter off from school so that I would be able to pursue this, and it was important that I studied as much as possible.
- Really try to nail concepts from the SIE: this applies to people who are getting ready to start studying for the 7, but I noticed that a lot of concepts from the SIE directly applied to what we learn on the 7. It’s important to have a basic understanding of that exam since they go hand in hand.
- Believe in yourself: I’m a strong believer that you are your biggest supporter! This sounds stupid but I know a lot of people struggle with self worth, including myself. You have to be your biggest hype man!
- Relaxing before the exam: this is arguably the most important thing to do. I took my exam on Monday, and last Saturday, I studied for 7 hours and then went to hangout with friends and we had some drinks. I am not promoting alcohol use, but I am promoting finding a way to relax, and that’s how I felt I needed to do it. There is no way in hell you’ll be able to pass this exam if you’re too stressed. I basically cut out alcohol and hanging out with friends while studying for this exam, so it was nice to be able to see them and be with them. It really helped with my nerves. Some people might scold at this idea, but I have no regrets.
- Going with your gut: I can’t lie, I think I guessed on about 30% of the questions on the exam. This exam is EXTREMELY detail oriented, I was shocked. I honestly did not think I was going to pass while taking it. I marked about 10-12 questions for review, and then decided to not change any of my answers and to just go with my gut.
- FINRA has ridiculous protocols: this sounds crazy, but sometimes, the most wild choice is the right choice. When I was taking practice exams, I would always choose answers that seemed like they would be the right answer, and the answer almost always ended up being out of pocket in some way. I cannot exactly describe what I’m talking about, but if you know, you know. Sometimes I would laugh and think to myself, “that answer is silly, but ok”. I kind of applied the same idea when I was taking the actual exam. There are some really crazy questions that will have the weirdest of answers. It’s funny in a way.
- Things to study: OPTIONS!! Everything about options! Nail it down! Regulations and rules as well. Taxes are important too. Realized/unrealized gain/loss and the different strategies to sell stocks (FIFO, LIFO, etc) are important as well.
Good luck to everyone out there! You got this! Keep at it! It’s pointless to take the exam if you’re too stressed and if you don’t feel confident. That’s what’s most important! Cheers!
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2024.05.21 22:26 snugglekittystirfry Ladies of PVD Meetup Group - June Meetups
Hi!
A few people have asked about the
group, and although it's mostly moved to Facebook, I'll try my best to cross post here! (Here's me trying!)
We've been doing a brunch the first Saturday of the month. This months will be at Ogie's on June 1st at noon. There's no need to RSVP for this brunch as there's ample seating, but if you want to get in on the other brunches I highly recommend joining the group because some places do require reservations, especially with larger crowds.
June 15th we'll be meeting up for the
70's, 80's, & 90's adult skate at United Skates of America. You can feel free to message me if you're not on the facebook and I can give you the deets on how to find our group!
We also usually do a trivia night once a month, which I think we're looking at Malted Barley, but I'm not sure the exact date for that yet. But it'll probablyyy be the 10th or the 12th.
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2024.05.21 22:18 LopsidedBear3249 High ticket cash on delivery strategy
I’ve been running facebook ads for the past year I sell expensive home appliances ( especially if we take a look at my country’s purchase power) Also the only paymen method that’s common in my country is COD I want to know whats best for conversion rate -I’ve tried leads i always get shit leads -Messages are quite good but take too much time and often target dumb people and people who are not interested -Sales objective is quite expensive I’ve worked on my top of the funnel and also organic ( these are the ones i get sales with the most ) any suggestions ?
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2024.05.21 22:11 letrashpotato My crazy cheating ex story that sounds like the plot of a trashy tv show
Hey y'all...so this has to be one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me and I really wanted to share it. Buckle up cause it's a long one...sorry in advance lol.
It started in 2019 I (26f but back then 21) met this dude (23m at the time) on kik from the Netherlands, let's call him...butthole. So, me and butthole hit it off, we're vibing, we're flirting, all that shebang.
We decide to date online long distance (cause I still lived in America at the time) so we text every day and we call a lot and it's just sooo nice. He was really sweet and nice to me. Well, August of that year I went on a trip to Ireland and got SA'd while there we'd been dating for 3 months at this point.
Once I got back home I finally worked up the nerve to tell him cause I legit had PTSD from that shit and when I did, he got mad at me. He accused me of cheating...I was like wtf?? So we broke up and went no contact and that was that.
Until
2020 it's lockdown....my diddly dumbass was lonely and bored and decided to text him! Like girl wtf was I thinkin? So I text him and he ends up apologizing for accusing me of cheating. He realized he was wrong and just like that, we went back to vibing and flirting. We're also making low key plans for me to visit him once lockdown is lifted too. After a few days of this I'm thinkin we're gonna get back together. But he says to me "I have something to tell you and you're gonna get mad at me".
And I'm like....ok? I didn't even know what to think like no clue what it could be (cause I'm dumb lol) And he goes "so I'm actually living with a girl who is (and I quote) officially my girlfriend". Oh man I was pissed and really hurt...like that fucking hypocrite!! So he goes on to explain they'd been dating for 2 Y E A R S!!
Anyway, so I'm dumb and was so in love and had no self esteem and thought he was the best I could get so I ask if he wants to leave her. He was like yea but we have a house together and I recently lost my job because of the pandemic so it'd screw us both over if I left now. I should've run right then and there but nooooo.
So I was like "you want to leave her and be with me right? Like, you will right?" And he said yes, I want to be with you, I'll leave if I can, blah blah blah." After a couple weeks of us acting coupley, sexting, sending pics, flirting and shit I woke up one day and realized, he's never gonna leave her for me. Ever. So....I decided I have to find this girl and tell her cause this is bullshit.
Problem is...I know nothing about her and apparently barely anything about him. He wouldn't tell me her name or anything. And he told me back in 2019 that he doesn't have social media (I should've known that was a lie cause who doesn't at least have facebook?) So I have nothing except his first and last name (later I find out he lied about how his last name is spelled and he gave me his nickname instead of his actual first name!...bro is a pathological liar I s2g!)
I tried looking for him on social media (obviously I didn't find him) I would try to ask about her name, but like in a really chill way, obviously he wouldn't tell me. I got desperate and googled Netherlands chat sites, and got on one and legit asked each person if they knew butthole mcbuttface from Rotterdam...I knew it was a long shot but I had to try.
That ended in a flop (well not entirely but I'll get back to that later) So then I get real crafty. I decide that I'm gonna play an adult fun game with him. I ask a question, he answers it truthfully and he gets a "reward". So I made sure to write out all the questions, starting with super innocent ones and I put the really revealing ones later cause I figured he'd be thinking with his other head at that point so he'd answer anything I asked.
We didn't do this over video call, we texted and I sent videos doing the thing (that way I could write down his answers) I did a lot of shit I'm not proud of. But I got the answers I needed. So I went all FBI and I got the specific area he lived from him and I ended up finding roughly where his house is, I was hoping I could find her name somewhere with that but it was a bust.
I tried to use the other answers to find stuff but I got nothing. I then decide to confront him over one of the answers (his brother's name) cause I legit thought he lied, it didn't sound like a name a Dutch person would have. He told me it was the truth. It's a really weird name for someone in the Netherlands so I looked him up on Facebook and I FOUND THAT BITCH!
That's how I realized he gave me the wrong spelling of his last name. So through his brother I found butthole's page and through butthole's page I found her!!! It took me weeks to find her! I was so shooketh! I couldn't believe I actually did it! So I go and look through her profile for a bit and I see that a few days before we played that game he FUCKIN PROPOSED TO HER!!!
I literally screamed when I saw that...I was so pissed and upset that he did that to her..... So I take a shit ton of screenshots and send her a message basically telling her everything. And she responded like "omg thank you for telling me". Like she wasn't upset at me or anything and that made me so sad. We chit chatted a bit and she was telling me all this shit about how she heard he was only with her for her money and blah blah blah...and she asked me for a few more specific screenshots which I gladly sent.
Then she said that she was at work and would confront him when she was home. I was in full support mode and was like I'm here for you and I'm so sorry this happened. And she was in support mode and she said she was sorry it happened to me too. So we exchange numbers and start texting. Later she texted me saying that she was off work and she was almost home and I wished her luck. At that point I texted him saying something like bye bitch good luck and blocked him lol.
So then I waited to hear from her...I check an hour later and saw that she blocked my number....I was so confused. I genuinely wish I could know what he said to her cause y'all...she ended up staying with him and getting married.I saw the pics on Facebook lol but yea....she could do so much better like...idk how this gremlin lookin ass bitch pulled 2 girls cause he's ugly inside and out. Idk if they're still together. I haven't looked in on them since I saw the wedding pics.
So yea, that's my story...but I said I would come back to the chat site not being a complete flop. I met a dude on there and we became friends and he introduced me to a guy who is now my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I ended up moving to the Netherlands to be with him lolol....I'm nowhere near where butthole lives so I'll never run into him but yea thanks for reading!
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2024.05.21 22:01 AccomplishedDig9145 My ex (29M) who ghosted me nearly a year ago (25F) how to send a message?
I (25F) from London met a guy from Porto, Portugal through Instagram in 2022. We both traveled to Malta at different times, and he found me through a tagged picture. He liked a bunch of my photos and eventually DM'd me with compliments after I followed him back.
Initially, I didn't think it would amount to anything serious, but after months of consistent interaction on Instagram, I started getting to know him. We talked about the potential of dating, considering that London isn't far from Porto by flight compared to other parts of the UK, like my hometown in Scotland.
We spoke every day, and he flew to London to visit me in February. I even started learning Portuguese. Our dates went great, and we felt chemistry in person. Although English isn't his first language, he communicated well but sometimes struggled to express himself fully in conversations, which was easier for him over text.
We began dating exclusively, and he mentioned wanting to make me his girlfriend at the right time. However, he lost his job towards the end of 2022, which was tough. Despite his situation, he still wanted to meet in London, and we planned for me to visit him in Porto in May 2023. Unfortunately, things went wrong. He was still unemployed and often late picking me up, leaving me to spend two days alone. One of those days, he took his roommate’s grandma to the hospital. I paid for some of our meals, but I sensed he felt pressured.
Sadly, on the second day, I found out my close aunt had died unexpectedly, which I told him about, and I was understandably down. Despite that, I tried to make an effort. However, as the days went by, he started picking me up late, and we spent less time together. Porto was beautiful, but I traveled there to spend time with him.
I'm not confrontational and hate awkward situations. After speaking to friends and family, I messaged him before our last day together, expressing that I felt we hadn't spent enough time together. He responded that just because I was on holiday, it didn’t mean everyone else was. This hurt me, and I dropped it. Our last date felt awkward, and I avoided a goodbye kiss. I felt horrible that night, unsure if I should talk more about it.
Back in the UK, I was annoyed and waited for him to contact me. I sent voice notes expressing my unhappiness and the need for better communication if we were to continue our relationship. He didn't respond, and after a week, I sent another message about him ignoring me. He then unfriended me on Facebook. I was heartbroken and blocked him to move on. I eventually unblocked him earlier this year but never really got over him.
Recently, he liked a lot of my pictures but didn't say anything. I’ve been thinking about our situation and realize that communication was hard, compounded by the language barrier and long-distance dating. For a long time, I questioned whether his intentions were even genuine. It’s affected my confidence in getting back into the dating pool.
I'm not sure if I want to get back together, but I do want to speak to him. I’ve followed him on Instagram, and he followed back, liking more pictures. I don't know whether to wait for him to finally message me or if it's best for me too.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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2024.05.21 22:00 FootballCertain9460 Clothing Consignment?
I have a bunch of fashionable clothes to sell, but last time I took clothes to Runway, they offered me $7 for a whole bag, and Second Glance was in-store-credit only. Where is the best place to sell clothes in town? Or should I stick to Facebook Marketplace/Poshmark?
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2024.05.21 22:00 Flimsy-Amphibian-903 Need to vent
My boyfriend (22m) and I (20f) have been LC/NC with MIL since last July. I blocked her on Facebook in May after sending her a nasty message her for missing her son’s 21st birthday party. (Shallow, yes I know. I was just angry.) She had 2 months notice about the party and made excuse after excuse about why she couldn’t come, ultimately it ended up being because we didn’t want her alcoholic husband to be there and she refused to go without him. She never even sent him a birthday card.
My bfs birthday is at the beginning of May and this year MILs husband sent him a message asking what he wanted for his bday during the second week of April. My bf does not like him, wants nothing to do with him and has explained this to his mom. So the message was never read because he has his notifications blocked. I saw it about a week and half after it was sent while looking on his phone and told my bf. He was annoyed but texted MILs husband back, we didn’t hear anything for over a week and then MIL invited us up to dinner at her house but they wanted to wait until we all had a day off. We gave them our availability and she said they were waiting to get Sundays off together and that day would be best. They live about an hour away so we said sure whenever is fine after the 6th because my dad was coming to stay with us for a week. This upset MIL and she said she wanted to do it the weekend after his birthday, we said that’s fine then. It didn’t end up happening and we were gonna let her tell us when they were ready.
Now it’s 3 weeks later and my schedule just changed so I’m working Sundays. I asked my boyfriend to let his mom know and she said that she is trying to find a new job because they cut her hours at work. MIL and her husband always work at the same place and her hours always get cut…
I just need to vent because this is not how my family is, birthdays are special and to be celebrated with all of your favorites because you need to enjoy life. I wish this women would even take a second of her own time to spend with her son, even on the phone without her husband talking too. She didn’t send him a card or anything this year either. We live and hour away and she commuted to a job an hour and 15 mins away for over a year!!!! I want to believe she cares about her son but everything she’s ever done and how she treats him tells me she doesn’t.
Disclaimer: Yes I understand everyone’s family’s are different but she goes over the moon for his siblings and even grandparents birthdays. Her oldest doesn’t even get a second glance.
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2024.05.21 22:00 MadMedic21 Another Comprehensive Guide From a Caregiver and ACLr Recipient
Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____
Preparation
It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.
General PEARLs
- Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
- Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
- Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
- Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
- Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.
Days Leading Up To Surgery
- Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
- Recommended Items we found essential:
- Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
- Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
- Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
- Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
- In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
- Neck Pillow
- Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
- Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
- We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
- A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
- A shower chair
- Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
- Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
- Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
- Extra large leg cast cover
- Can be found cheap online
- Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
- Foldable stool
- Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
- Lap Desk
- Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
- A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
- Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
- There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
- Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
- A big bucket
- We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
- Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
- Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
- Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
- Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
- Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
- Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
- We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
- Compression sleeves
- Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
- We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
- Slide on shoes
- Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
- Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
- Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
- Lotion and chapstick
- Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
- Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
- Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
- We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
- Small notebook to record med times and other important information
- Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
- Compression device
- We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
- We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
- A yoga strap
- Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
- If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
- Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
- Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
- Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
- Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
- Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
- Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
- Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
- Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.
Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase
- Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
- Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
- Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
- Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
- Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
- Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
- Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
- Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
- Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
- If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
- Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
- Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
- If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
- If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
- Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
- We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
- Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
- Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
- Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
- For example day 1 would look like:
- First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
- 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
- Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
- 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
- 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
- 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
- Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
- If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
- Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
- Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
- We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
- Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
- Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!
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2024.05.21 21:51 r3crac BlitzWolf BW-OLT4 Sensor Solar Flood Light [EU] for 18.09 USD without coupon (Best price in history: 16.49 USD) [EUROPE]
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2024.05.21 21:51 BrnFish245 An open letter to the advisory board and instructors at the Global Center for Religious Research (GCRR)
To the Board of Directors, Advisory Board, and Instructors at the Global Center for Religious Research:
When I first came across an advertisement for the Global Center for Religious Research’s courses, I got excited, especially because the instructors weren’t all old white guys like me. I wanted to get a broad range of experiences. I intended not only to sign up for the courses, but to see whether or not I might be able to offer courses through GCRR in the future. I pictured a future in which I would have a whole new set of colleagues who, like me, treat clients who have experienced religious trauma.
Before buying anything, I decided to join the “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group that GCRR is running. It took me less than an hour to become very concerned about the behavior of GCRR and its leader, Darren Slade.
While GCRR’s advertisements give the impression of professionalism and research, Slade himself is traumatizing and even harassing his/your own customers. Do you not see it? Best case scenario: he’ll keep embarrassing you. Worst case scenario: someone (especially if you ever have employees) is going to sue you. If he publicly treats his customers with this much contempt, how will he treat his employees, if he ever gets this business off the ground?
To illustrate, I am attaching several documents printed (customer names redacted) from the GCRR’s “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group. It’s messy, but you can go look up the Facebook group and find the originals.
- In his comments, Darren Slade keeps referring to “We”, as in “here’s how we do things around here”. He has a lot of people listed on his website as his “International Advisory Board” and as instructors of his courses. Did you all get together and advise him to be this condescending and hostile to your own customers? Do you want him to talk to women with this much contempt?
- He expresses pride several times about the fact that this group is “not a safe space”. IN A GROUP ABOUT TRAUMA??!
- Maybe you think this is fine, because everyone is offensive on the Internet? But if "the boss" at any company in America tacked any one of these memes or notes to an office bulletin board, each one would be an instant, valid complaint to the Human Resources department. And Darren Slade’s replies to the complaints would warrant another complaint. When his/your customers complain on Facebook, he rolls his eyes and tells them that he’s not responsible for their “triggers”. If he talks to his customers this way, how will he talk to his subordinates in the future? Especially young women subordinates? Do you see him expressing any respect here, for anyone, especially if they don’t agree with him?
- He refers to himself and the entire GCRR repeatedly as “inappropriate”, “unprofessional” “offensive”, and even “creepy”, and he says "we" like it that way. Do you like being represented that way? Are you part of this, or is this guy a runaway ego train?
- Some of you are trained as therapists. I'm a retired psychologist. You know that the following behaviors are cause for concern in anyone who is promoting himself as the leader of any kind of group. You'll find several examples of each of these circled in the attached document:
- Slade sees himself as both the hero and the victim in every story he tells. He talks a lot about the death threats he has supposedly receives.
- Regularly expresses condescension, contempt, and hostility toward his own customers, especially women. If a woman points out that he's being sexist, he claims that she is being sexist against him.
- Constantly talks about his Ph.D. Most of my colleagues put “PhD” after their names and leave it at that… but this guy? This guy needs to mention his PhD at least a couple times a week.
- Makes sexually demeaning/harassing comments to women if they disagree with him (see the “Google Complaint” document), tries to get the whole community to join him in this, and then gets even more condescending and contemptuous if a woman customer complains. He sees accusations of sexism against him as being unfair accusations leveled at him “because he identifies as ‘male’”
- When people try to help him not be a jackass, he just turns up the hostility and tells them to leave if they don't like it.
- Repeatedly fails to show empathy, especially with anyone who disagrees with him.
- Presents a professional face to the world (GCRR ads), but behind closed doors is abusive and inflammatory.
If you’re a therapist, do you not see how much credibility you lose by associating yourself with an organization that mocks your own therapy clients for being triggered and having feelings? And Slade's approach isn't just annoying or unprofessional, it’s aggressive. Surely you can see what I’m talking about? Why are you supporting this guy?
At one point in the attached document (while accusing a woman of being sexist against him for saying he's being sexist), Slade even claims that men are constantly discriminated against just for speaking, and that "oppression and marginalization cut both ways". (About 1/3 of the way down page 3). You are all experts in religious trauma, and I first became interested in GCRR's courses because I saw some women and people of color among the instructors and advisors.
Do you, as a group, actually believe that "oppression and marginalization cuts both ways"? Do you believe that racism, sexism, and homophobia oppress and marginalize straight white men just as much as people of color, women, and LGBT people? If so, I'll be warning people away from your whole organization. Our job is to help people put an end to this kind of abuse, not to perpetuate it. Our job is to help people to recover from their traumas, not inflict more trauma, and certainly not to belittle them for speaking up.
If I had gotten involved without checking out how Slade treats his customers, I'd be embarrassed now, so I'm taking the time to give you the professional heads-up that I would want were I in your shoes.
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2024.05.21 21:47 Deluxo Solution .45 breaks up
Dear fans and followers, we’re sad to inform you all that we’ve reached the end of the line - Solution .45 is no more‼️
We’ve dug deep trying to find that motivating and inspiring spark again, but unfortunately it’s just not there anymore. When we decided to get this ball rolling again back in early 2023 we thought we still had it in us and God knows we’ve tried to get on the right track these last 1,5 years, but no matter what direction we’ve steered, it has just felt forced, joyless and all for the wrong reasons. So after several new attempts, different starting points and countless meetings, we’ve mutually agreed on that’s it’s for the best putting this giant to rest, for good (which we actually did already back in December last year). There’s simply a time and place for everything and clearly, in hindsight, the time and place for S.45 is in the past. Our hearts and wills are evidently elsewhere these days and without those two ingredients in the mix, no matter how hard you try, the outcome will not be satisfactory or worthwhile to anyone. As sad as it might seem, calling it quits has actually been a relief for us, since trying to get this beast on its feet again has been more of an angst-ridden burden, rather than something inspiring and fun. All’s well that ends well! Then again, living in the age of comebacks and reunions, who knows what the future holds⁉️
Thanks to each and everyone of you who have supported and backed Solution .45 in any way, since the start! Your dedication and devotion have made all the difference! ❤️ With that being said, we will wrap things up by re-releasing our debut album “For Aeons Past” as a limited 2LP splatter vinyl, through AFM Records. 🔥 More news on this soon! /Jani, Christian, Patrik, Rolf & Henric
Source:
https://www.facebook.com/solution.45.official/posts/pfbid0MyCPYwvvkAm3Dj2yxvqNKqgAUvNUpYoWjt82bVhfq4e2u23ELKhMn7c2MfVbvuiTl submitted by
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2024.05.21 21:34 nuebohemio UPDATE (PART 2) la cancion de alicia - translation of the live stream of instagram: bad_influenceoficial and Flavio Post
| Ok, I didn't want to make a second part of the post because it seemed unnecessary to me but since the band referenced my words (post image) I'm going to continue spreading this soap opera like an old gossip. First I want you to know that there is a lot of misinformation on everyone's part, because everyone has their version of the story in their heads, I will try to translate everything as best as possible, you will draw your conclusions. Second, I want to apologize to Flavio because in the first part of the post I called him Judas, I said this as a joke and I hope it is taken with humor. It would be good if the band's fans started calling it Judastomate Triste. Third: I also want to apologize because in the first part of the post I put Flavio as the guitarist but according to him he joined the band as the bassist. Apparently later he was replaced by the other Jesus who appears in the 6th song I received a comment from Santa Nax, which apparently is Diego's stage name, he told me the following about the demo: "We recorded it in 2017 in my room with a 4-channel Tascam UB 400 and some dynamics hahaha from that date until now it is a lot of time" (So the creation of the song is between 2015 and 2017 because they always say a different date, remember that this happened years ago and they don't remember it very well.) Here I put the comment that I put in my previous post because I know that many do not read the comments. plus some updates. In the live Diego apparently got upset because people released the song without his permission, so it is clear that he did not want to upload the songs to better-known pages and wanted to stay in the underground where the project did not succeed, very different from Flavio who wanted to share the song with everyone, Jesus for his part winked and gave Flavio a thumbs up in the broadcast since thanks to him they are together again. The entire community grabbed the song without the band permission. If the song was not known before, it was because of the band. Although it is true that Flavio deceived people, it was the band who made the song become unknown in the first place. Flavio did everything without consulting his colleagues and deceived thousands of people, yes, but he did it to give everyone the song and fame to the band. I'm not saying it's bad but Machiavellian. (Jmike, for his part, said that he had no way of contacting the members and when he saw the demo he was eager to publish it) Flavio said that in 2023 the band got back together (supposedly without Diego (the singer) because he went to the United States) but that the group was changing its style to one that was heavier rock, also the band ignored Flavio when He wanted to keep the song Dream 4ever as it was, that's why Flavio hid the fame of Alice's song from the members, so that it wouldn't become a hypocritical band that only plays a song for fame instead of music. In this case, Flavio was the first to trust the quality and scope of the song Dream 4ever, and he was the first true fan of the song. Flavio said that there is no problem with Diego, that they talk and they get along "normally" with the rest of the band. Maybe Flavio won't come back because of the attitude they showed. Diego said for his part and in defense of the band that all groups change, sometimes an album is nothing like the previous one and that he keeps all the songs he had made during those years and listens to them occasionally to have those memories with him. he doesn't hate the music he made or anything like that. On the part of the community it is true that the song was unknown, yes, but because the band never released the songs in official format to make themselves known. When we upload and share it without permission we are just as guilty, and I don't say this as a bad thing or a good thing. You have to ask yourself these questions: Did the band members appreciate the song? If it weren't for the lost wave, wouldn't the song have been so shared and recognized? Or is it hypocritical to return for fame when they had already decided to change their style? I ask because I see many despise Flavio for making a hoax, but at the end of the day Flavio had his reasons and the band was going to change its style, without Flavio's help the song would not even be known and that is the truth. The search for the song and its fame was carried out because we wanted to search for it, no one forced us. I hope the band gets back together and uses their fame honestly, since it arose from Flavio's hoax. Flavio - Bass Jesus - Guitar Carlos - Drums Diego - Voice Links: Bad influence instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bad_influenceoficial/ JMike post https://www.reddit.com/Lostwave/comments/1cttng2/we_found_la_cancion_de_alicia/ 6th Song https://www.facebook.com/100063153434308/videos/116037075992566/?__so__=permalink Flavio Post https://www.facebook.com/share/p/2RsanBNZaKuqrnH1/?mibextid=oFDknk (Si la banda lee esto quiero pedirles un cover de los saicos, me gusta "salvaje" pero puede ser cualquier cancion) submitted by nuebohemio to Lostwave [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 21:31 r3crac Ulefone Armor Pad G25 4/64GB 4G LTE 8.0 Inch Android 12 Tablet for 169.99 USD without coupon (Best price in history: 174.99 USD)
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2024.05.21 21:18 r3crac ESKUTE Netuno PLUS 36V 14.5Ah 250W Electric Bike 27.5x2.1 Inch [EU] for 745.30 USD with coupon (Best price in history: 745.3 USD) [EUROPE]
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2024.05.21 21:06 CampingWorld What Are The Best RV Trips for Beginners?
There’s a lot to learn when you’re new to RVing. After purchasing your RV and equipping it with the right gear, the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed trying to select where to camp. So we asked the question: what are the best RV trips for beginners?
Of course, we have our own opinions, but we wanted to see what the RV community felt. We asked experienced RVers which destinations or campgrounds they would recommend for beginners. With over 150 replies, here are the top five answers:
- Somewhere close to home
- State parks
- Good Sam Campgrounds
- Your backyard
- National parks
(Runner-up: Wal-Mart parking lot).
Why Stay Close to Home on Your First RV Trip as a Beginner?
The overwhelming majority of experienced RVers recommended sticking to somewhere close to home as a beginner. Their reasons were practical:
- You know where to go (home or familiar stores) if you forget supplies.
- You’re not far from your community if you need help.
- If something breaks down, towing your RV back to your house won't take long or cost too much.
- You do less driving and more time getting familiar with your RV.
- You won’t hurt your wallet on gas expenses if you overpack (which most first-timers do!)
Boondocking in your backyard is a great way to
learn about your RV and its systems. Just remember: Depending on your RV, you’ll need potable water, a way to empty your holding tanks, and a proper power supply –
30 or 50 amps.
Which Locations Make For The Best RV Trips for Beginners?
We collected specific recommendations for those who want to venture out while staying close to home. These came directly from experienced RVers nationwide who were willing to share their favorite destinations for RV newbies.
Because we don’t know where home is for you, we organized this list of the best RV trips for beginners and organized them by region.
The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Northeast
Bayley’s Camping Resort – Scarborough, Maine
Park Features: - 512 full hookup sites
- 75’ pull-thru sites
- 44’ back-in sites
- Weekly entertainment schedule
- Recreation facilities
- Pools, restaurants, camp stores, and an arcade
Learn more or
Book now.
Kennebec River Campground – The Forks, Maine
Park Features: - Six secluded RV sites with electric hookups
- Full restaurant and brewery with deck seating
- Swimming pool and hot tub
- Bathhouse with hot, running water
- Easy access to the Kennebec River
- Base camp for whitewater rafting, snowmobiling, and other Maine adventures
Learn more or
Book now.
Gettysburg Battlefield RV Resort – Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Park Features: - 250 RV sites
- 60’ maximum RV length
- Battlefield reenactment grounds, Olympic swimming pool, and stocked fishing pond
- Game room, general store, and ice cream parlor
- Canoe, kayak, and paddle boat rentals
- Themed activities, nature trail, and laundry facilities
Learn more.
Quechee / Pine Valley – Hartford, Vermont
Park Features: - Full hookup RV sites (30 and 50 amp service)
- 85’ maximum RV length
- Off-leash dog park and activity field
- Bike, canoe, and banana bike rentals
- Heating swimming pool (open 5/27 to 9/5)
- Saturday hay rides, playground adventures, and family fishing at the pond
Learn more or
Book now.
Cherrystone Campground – Cape Charles, Virginia
Park Features: - Open seasonally from 4/1 to 10/31
- 181 full hookup 30 amp sites (87 wateelectric only 30 amp sites)
- 121 full hookup 50 amp sites
- Private beach, beach entry pool, and two Olympic-sized pools
- Lazy river, mini golf course, and four fishing piers
- Daily shuttle service into Downtown Cape Charles
Learn more.
Holiday Trav-L-Park – Virginia Beach, Virginia
Why They Recommended: “The place is pretty big (but tight, please know HOW to drive). It has seven pools, a bar, a restaurant, laundry, concerts, and a little trolley that will take you to the beach for even more entertainment.”
Park Features: - 700 RV sites (full hookup and wateelectric only)
- Wooded, partly shaded, or open site locations
- Maximum RV length varies by site type
- On-site laundromat, Safari Cafe, and eight tiled comfort stations
- Trolley from the cafe to the beach and beyond
- Dog park, bike path, and convenience store
Learn more or
Book now.
Virginia Beach Holiday – Virginia Beach, Virginia
Why They Recommended: “They just put in a lazy river and a brand new pool. It’s state-of-the-art!”
Park Features: - Full hookup sites with 50, 30, and 20 amp compatibility
- 45’ maximum RV length
- Two heated pools, a lazy river, and a splash pad
- Trolley stop for exploring the nearby Virginia Beach waterfront
- Community bonfire, dog park, and electric vehicle charging station
- Bicycle, golf cart, and pedal cart rentals
Learn more or
Book now.
New River Gorge Campground – Lansing, West Virginia
Park Features: - Full hookup RV sites (30 and 50 amp)
- Views of ponds, sunsets, and nightly firefly displays (seasonally)
- Catch-and-release fishing
- Hiking and biking trails, swimming, and kayaking nearby
- Nearby rock climbing, rafting, and horseback riding
Learn more.
The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Southeast
Wind Creek State Park – Alexander City, Alabama
Park Features: - 586 campsites with wateelectric hookups
- 157 waterfront campsites and 268 full hookup sites with sewer
- Two laundry facilities at the marina and a bathhouse
- Archery range, fishing, and mini golf course
- Boat rentals, horseback rides, and zipline canopy tours
- Sunday services, swimming area, and outdoor pavilions
Learn more or
Book now.
Everglades Isle – Everglades City, Florida
Park Features: - 59 full hookup RV sites (30 and 50 amp)
- Concrete pads (waterfront and inland) with daily trash service
- Clubhouse laundry facilities and complimentary Wi-Fi
- Luxury clubhouse with drinks, food, billiards, movies, and more
- Fitness center, office space, and veranda seating
- Lounge area, salon, and spa
Learn more or
Book now.
Orlando / Kissimmee – Kissimmee, Florida
Why They Recommended: “Orlando has the best prices all year round! It’s in close proximity to Universal Studios, Disney, Disney Springs, lots of attractions, several grocery stores, and restaurants. Target even ships deliveries there.”
Park Features: - Full hookup RV sites with 134’ maximum RV length (30 and 50 amp)
- Bike rentals, mini pocket park, and access to the public bus service
- Dog park, outdoor pavilion, and fitness center
- Heated swimming pool, hot tub, and sauna (open year-round)
- Electric vehicle charging station and taxi service
- Jump pad and playground for the kids
Learn more or
Book now.
Fisheating Creek Outpost – Palmdale, Florida
Why They Recommended: “The lots have much more space than most parks. You are not three feet from your neighbor.”
Park Features: - 18,000+ acre wildlife management area
- 48 full hookup RV sites (5 of which are ADA-accessible)
- The swimming area at Depot Lake
- Large pond with two islands near the Camp Store
- Canoe rentals and Riverside Cafe (open seasonally)
- Large screened recreation area with central bathhouse
Learn more or
Book now.
Big Lagoon State Park – Pensacola, Florida
Park Features: - ~75 campsites (some RV or tent, some tent-only, some RV-only)
- 40’ maximum RV length
- Swimming, boating, fishing, and paddling
- Biking, stargazing, and geocaching
- Access to the Florida Circumnavigational Saltwater Paddling Trail
- Boat launch, playground, and amphitheater
Learn more or
Book now.
Jetty Park Campground – Port Canaveral, Florida
Park Features: - 358 total sites (variety of water-only and wateelectric hookups)
- Bathhouses and communal fire pits.
- Views of rocket launches from Canaveral Air Force Station
- Shuffleboard courts and horseshoe pits
- Daily arrivals and departures of cruise ships and submarines
- Camp store and nearby fishing pier
Learn more or
Book now.
Smith Ridge Campground – Campbellsville, Kentucky
Park Features: - 80 campsites (62 with water and electric hookups)
- Flush toilets, showers, fire rings, and potable water
- Kid’s playground and easy access to miles of hiking trails
- Frisbee golf course, boat ramp, and swimming beach
- Fishing pier, marina, and picnic areas
Learn ore.
Mountain Stream RV Park – Marion, North Carolina
Park Features: - 44 full hookup sites (30 and 50 amp)
- 45’ maximum RV length
- Access to Buck Creek along two edges of the campground
- Five miles from the Blue Ridge Parkway
- Dog park, kid’s playground, and outdoor pavilion
- Camp store and bathhouse with showers and toilets
Learn more or
Book now.
North Myrtle Beach RV Resort – Little River, South Carolina
Park Features: - Oversized full hookup sites and a fully-stocked camp store
- Views of the nearby Intracoastal Waterway
- Swimming pool with a slide and splash pad for the kids
- 60-slip boat dock with observation deck
- Live music every weekend during the summer
- Food and drinks on the water at the Tiki Bar and Grill
Learn more or
Book now.
Myrtle Beach State Park – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Park Features: - 140 standard water and electric campsites
- 138 full hookup sites
- All sites are located about 300 yards from the beach
- 30-40’ maximum RV length
- Beach access for pets and bikes is restricted to certain time periods (see site for more info)
- Nearby access to birding, fishing, swimming, hiking, biking, horseback riding, and more
Learn more or
Book now.
PirateLand Family Camping Resort – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Park Features: - 748 full hookup sites
- Access to free Wi-Fi and daily trash pickup at each site
- Gated entrance with 24/7 patrol crew
- Eight climate-controlled bathhouses with toilets and showers
- Fully stocked camp store, outdoor chapel, and laundry facility
- On-site water park with Olympic swimming pool, lazy river, and more
Learn more or
Book now.
Ocean Lakes Family Campground – Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Park Features: - 859 full hookup sites with free Wi-Fi
- 649 concrete pad sites with 45’ maximum RV length
- 19 total beach accesses
- Three-acre family fun center with game center, mini golf, swimming pool, and more
- Volleyball, shuffleboard, and basketball courts
- Nearby Ocean Lakes Nature Center Discover Lab with more than 10,000 shells and fossils
Learn more or
Book now.
Anchor Down RV Resort – Dandridge, Tennessee
Park Features: - 170 concrete full hookup sites
- All sites at least 50’ long by 18’ wide (sites differ by type and location)
- Basketball, gaga ball, pickleball, and volleyball courts
- Boat, jet ski, and golf cart rentals
- Leash-free pet park, beach area, and campground cafe
- Saltwater kiddie pool and large pool with waterslide (open Memorial Day to Labor Day)
Learn more or
Book now.
Cherokee Dam Campground – Jefferson City, Tennessee
Park Features: - 44 total sites (39 with water and electric)
- Views of the lake and mountains from nearly every site
- Sites require a two-night minimum stay
- The use of a water pressure regulator is highly recommended
- Nearby access to swimming and birdwatching
- Large public boat ramp nearby
Learn more or
Book now.
Melton Hill Dam Campground – Lenoir City, Tennessee
Park Features: - 61 total sites (35 with water and electric)
- Sites require a two-night minimum stay
- Two bathhouses with showers and flush toilets
- Designated swimming area
- Canoe and boat ramp access
- Free dump station access
Learn more or
Book now.
Camp Margaritaville RV Resort and Lodge – Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Park Features: - Full hookup concrete campsites
- Complimentary Wi-Fi and cable TV
- Nearby Fin City Entertainment Center with arcade, bowling, billiards, and more
- Nearby pool recreation area with water slides, lazy river, and kid zone
- Pet park, camp store, and kid’s playground
- Live entertainment, breakfast buffet, and barestaurant
Learn more or
Book now.
Little Arrow Outdoor Resort – Townsend, Tennessee
Park Features: - Luxury and standard full hookup RV sites
- Luxury sites with outdoor sink and cabana
- Standard sites with paved patios and fire rings
- 24/7 coffee lounge with playroom and movie/book exchange
- Zero-entry pool with grottos, hot tub, and splash pad
- 1-2 miles of quiet, peaceful hiking trails
Learn more or
Book now.
The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Midwest
Sycamore Springs Park – English, Indiana
Park Features: - 30 and 50-amp sites with a 55’ minimum site length
- Full hookup, wateelectric, and primitive camping available
- Free firewood and fire pits on all sites
- Modern restrooms and shower houses
- Family-friendly camping with no alcohol allowed on the grounds
- Fishing, hiking and picnicking available
Learn more or
Book now.
Lake Rudolph Campground and RV Resort – Santa Claus, Indiana
Park Features: - Open season 5/1 to 10/31
- 146 full hookup 50-amp sites
- 110 full hookup 30-amp sites
- Gem mining, golf cart rentals, and take-out dining
- Swimming pool, dog park, and water park
- Free shuttle service to the theme park and water park
Learn more.
Grand Haven State Park – Grand Haven, Michigan
Park Features: - 48-acre park with Lake Michigan to the west and the Grand River to the north
- 174 paved campsites
- Steps away from the beach and the river
- Scenic views of the Grand Haven pier and two lighthouses
- Boardwalk along the Grand River for fishing or walking
- Accessible playground, picnic area, and modern restrooms
Learn more or
Book now.
Otsego Lake State Park – Gaylord, Michigan
Park Features: - 155 campsites (split between the North and South campgrounds)
- Half-mile sandy beach with designated swim area
- Kayak, paddleboard, and canoe rentals for day-use
- Nearby access to the Iron Belle Trail for hiking, biking, and snowmobiling
- Fishing pier and boat launch
- Designated beach area for metal detecting
Learn more or
Book now.
Itasca State Park – Park Rapids, Minnesota
Park Features: - 223 drive-in campsites in two campgrounds (160 electric-only)
- 60’ maximum RV length
- Seasonal dump station available in the Bear Paw Campground
- Interpretive exhibits and year-round naturalist programs
- Two-hour excursion boat tours of Lake Itasca
- Nearby restaurant and cafe (open seasonally)
Learn more or
Book now.
Silver Dollar City Campground – Branson, Missouri
Park Features: - Full hookup sites (30 and 50 amp)
- Picnic table and fire ring at each site
- Kid’s playground and swimming pool (open 5/28-9/5)
- Nearby theme park, water park, and dinner cruises
- Clubhouse with supplies and an air-conditioned lounge with Wi-Fi
- Complimentary shuttle service into Silver Dollar City
Learn more or
Book now.
Lake Mcconaughy State Recreation Area – Brule, Nebraska
Park Features: - Seven developed campgrounds
- Reservable and first-come, first-served campsites
- Reservable beach camping in 17 designated zones
- Reservations required 5/20 to 9/10
- Archery range, swimming, and playground
- Boating, fishing, and hunting
Learn more or
Book now.
Mt. Gilead Holiday – Mt. Gilead, Ohio
Park Features: - 150 acres of walking trails
- Dog park, playground, and fishing ponds
- Golf driving range
- Zero-entry swimming pool (open 5/26-9/4)
- Golf course rentals, sand volleyball, and ‘The Bonfire Bar’
Learn more or
Book now.
The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the South
The Woodlands RV Resort – Heber Springs, Arkansas
Park Features: - 71 full hookup sites
- Five minutes from beaches, boat ramps, restaurants, and a golf course
- Easy access to hiking and biking trails
- Swimming pool, playground, and fishing pond
- Bathhouse, laundry room, and dog run coming soon
Learn more or
Book now.
Sarah’s Seaside RV Oasis – Grand Isle, Louisiana
Why They Recommended: It’s the most laid back!
Park Features: - Full hookup sites (30 and 50 amp)
- Family and pet-friendly
- Walking distance from restaurants, shopping, and bars
- Renowned for nearby world-class fishing and birdwatching
- Seasonal events like holiday decorating contests, seafood boils, movie nights, and more
Learn more.
The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Southwest
Mather Campground – Grand Canyon Village, Arizona
Park Features: - 327 primitive campsites with fire rings, a cooking grate, and a picnic table
- Flush toilets and drinking water spigots throughout
- Free dump station at Camper Services nearby
- Generators not permitted in Pine Loop (sites 265-319)
- Easy access to a paved walking and biking trail leading to overlooks and the visitor center
Learn more.
Tucson Lazydays – Tucson, Arizona
Park Features: - 360 full hookup sites
- 73’ maximum RV length
- Pet-friendly sites, dog park, and dog wash available
- Two swimming pools, a hot tub, and a sauna (open year-round)
- Mini golf, bike rentals, workout room, and more
Learn more or
Book now.
Caballo Lake State Park – Caballo, New Mexico
Park Features: - Seven full hookup sites
- 98 water and electric (30 amp) sites
- 10 water and electric (50 amp) sites
- Three boat docks and two boat ramps
- Playgrounds and visitor centers with interactive exhibits for the kids
- Fishing, swimming, hiking, horseback riding, and more
Learn more or
Book now.
The Best RV Trips for Beginners in the Northwest
Coloma Resort – Coloma, California
Park Features: - 43 full hookup sites
- 45’ maximum RV length
- Sewer hookups are available at off-river sites only
- Calendar of naturalist-led activities available (summer months only)
- Exclusive riverfront access with nearby kayaking, tubing, and rafting
- Swimming pool and children’s playgrounds
- Wireless internet throughout the campground
Pro Tip: You must cross the Mt. Murphy Bridge to reach this campground. Here are the height and weight restrictions for that bridge: - Max Height: 13' 6
- Max Weight for 2 Axle vehicles: 12 Tons (24,000 pounds)
- Max Weight for 3 Axle vehicles: 19 Tons (38,000 pounds)
Learn more or
Book now.
Arrowhead RV Park – Cascade, Idaho
Park Features: - 116 full hookup sites
- Easy access to the Payette River for fishing or paddling
- Shuffleboard and horseshoe pit for family entertainment
- Communal firepit on the edge of the river
- Recreation room with books, board games, and movies
Learn more or
Book now.
St. Mary / East Glacier – St. Mary, Montana
Why They Recommended: “Beautiful views right from the park!”
Park Features: - 75’ maximum RV length
- 30 and 50-amp sites
- Large hot tub, pool, and sauna (seasonally)
- Kayak rentals and easy access to the Lower St. Mary Lake & River
- Dog kennels and dog walking service (for when you want to explore nearby Glacier National Park)
Learn more or
Book now.
Cape Blanco State Park – Port Orford, Oregon
Park Features: - 52 electric hookup sites with water
- Easy access to wildlife viewing, fishing, and horse trails
- Beach access and hiking trails
- Flush toilets and hot showers
- Lighthouse and Hughes House for historical tours
Learn more or
Book now.
Seven Feathers RV Resort – Canyonville, Oregon
Park Features: - 182 full hookup sites
- 60’ maximum pull-thru size
- 55’ maximum back-in size
- Hotel and casino across the street
- Indoor heated pool and hot tub
- Fitness and media centers
Learn more or
Book now.
Want to add your advice to our poll? Click below to join the conversation!
https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=776034604566862&id=100064809877965&mibextid=WC7FNe Which destinations would you recommend for first-time RVers? Share your tips in the comments below. submitted by
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2024.05.21 20:57 Nellyfant Tell me you have CFS without saying you have CFS
Too sick to do a lot - but well enough to try.
Best description I ever read!
TOO. SICK. TO. DO. A. LOT. BUT. WELL. ENOUGH. TO. TRY!
My life in a nutshell. Add to that a healthy dose of PEM and that's it!
(thanks to ChronicNotebook on Facebook)
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2024.05.21 20:56 bear_in_exile Over and Out, Indefinitely
Right below this post on my overview page, you'll see a serious, sober reply I gave to somebody's perhaps not altogether serious question about galaxies named "Snickers," bringing up a mildly interesting tidbit from the History of Astronomy. Read it there, because you'll never be able to see it anywhere else. It was deleted, almost instantly, with no reason given, a perfect example of what can happen on a site adults use to discuss serious matters, when the adolescents are so often in charge.
If you are new to Reddit, no, that was not a snarky joke. So-called "power mods" have, in the past, turned out to be minors, well under the age of 18, nothing more than dull-witted children with far too much time on their hands, and an overpowering desire to be in control. When governmental policy was being set in keeping with the consenses set by the social media mobs, a few years ago, these are the people who effectively had the power to decide who would be free to speak about what, and about how full grown adults would be forced to conduct their affairs - the sort of adolescents that, in the days before the Internet was invented, would have been shunned by their peers, and with good reason.
I went to mention this most recent moderator power flex on
RedditCensors, and discovered that it had been banned by Reddit, which I understand has created a rule that prohibits public complaints about a moderator's abuse of power - literally, an anti-transparency rule. Those are inherently corrupt and on a platform where freedom of speech is effectively put to a vote through the downvoting process, corrupting.
If it ever was anything else, Reddit has become a place where neurotic teens and tweens have gone to live out their dreams of power, as they've been allowed to control the public consensus by being given the ability to quietly silence the voices of dissent with their mad reign of error. Some tried to excuse this inexcusable reality, a few years ago, by mentioning the stress so many people were under due to the "Pandemic," and arguing that free and open discussion of serious issues would be more than people could cope with during the drama, and perhaps they would again, but let us be serious. That was a nonsensical defense even then, and 2024 is not 2020. Sanity might not have returned, but the panic has passed, and at this point there can be no serious question about Reddit's role in that time of panic. The admins and mods eagerly got down and dirty to encourage that panic and haven't reformed, since.
Strictly speaking, this has cost Reddit its safe harbor protection, since it is in no way running a neutral platform, but we already know how much the law matters when a large Internet firm breaks it - not at all. By now, we all know that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and those hearings of his are a joke. They are there to defuse anger, not to start any real sort of move toward justice.
One could respond to this ugly reality by jumping over to a supposedly uncensored platform - like Gab, to cite the best known example. But when one goes to that supposed alternative to the censorious lunacy of Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, et al., what does one find? Literal neo-Nazis, flat earth conspiracy theories and endless death threats and targeted harassment, while the staff looks the other way and refuses to enforce its own rules, because the founder is, himself, not so far from being a Nazi, himself. To attempt to have a serious discussion there would be like breaking into a gathering of the Ku Klux Klan, and trying to have a town hall meeting during it.
At some point, one has to be willing to see that something has been tried and proven to be such a trainwreck, so consistently, that to put much more time and effort into it would seem like madness. That is how I've come to see the social web, and perhaps even the Internet in general. You can see the links to my other sites and you're welcome to follow me on them, but I'm not sure that I'm ever going to bother to post to them, because I'm at a loss when I try to think of a good reason for doing so. Certainly, I incur a massive opportunity cost by getting down in the trenches with the losers - compare what I was getting paid to answer student's questions about Mathematics in the real world ($120/ hour as an independent tutor
before Covid) with what I get here, where I get repaid only in aggravation. In person, at an art fair, I can be (and have been) approached by the editor of a literary journal and asked to submit. Online, if I'm lucky, I'll see a fraction of the audience I'd get at an open mic night, run into censorship because somebody with well developed psychiatric problems though he sensed a hidden agenda behind my words, and then get to deal with scrapers afterwards.
The Internet has, for the most part, neither proved a pleasant, nor a profitable, nor a productive experience, so why get deeply invested in it, at all? I'll be shutting down my groups on this and other sites, as I reduce the role of the Internet in my life to being what it should always have been: a place for posting announcements, along
maybe with a tiny amount of free content as a loss leader, in order to get other people to link to the page with my event announcements and other notices. I'm going to turn off the computer and get back outside, more, as I really should have back in 2020. As everybody should have, really.
The Internet, properly used, is a bulletin board, not a community. Life was better when people remembered it, and for me, it's going to be better, again. If other people want to go on being immersed in a miserable, futile effort to succeed where all others have failed before for structural reasons, they're free to do so, but I think they'll find that other serious people will be making the same choice I have, and for the same reasons. The power mods will still be there, and so will the trolls, but when they're nearly all that remains, when the Internet is firmly linked to the craziest members of society in the minds of the general public, just how much influence will it go on having?
Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. Over and out, for now, and probably permanently. There's a nice, sunny day waiting for me, just outside my window and I'm going to go enjoy it.
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2024.05.21 20:45 Upstairs-Assistance0 my narcissistic collapse - please help
i’ve been a POS my whole life, was very violent growing up as a defensive mechanism to protect myself - a teacher hit me at 6 years old so i learnt that this was acceptable behaviour
long story short i’ve since apologised to an “ ex best friend “ who was actually my biggest enemy unknowingly, but he laughed at my apology publicly humiliating me by saying ‘no party like an A-Z party’
he’s once again attempting to trigger my ego so he can prove him crazy / will seek revenge once again
he took revenge on me and did exactly what i did to him except executed it 10x better loosing me 2 teeth, 10,000$ and 3 years of dental pain (in short i stole a girl when i was 16, he said no one likes you, i hacked his facebook, found no evidence of him talking shit, and said “she’s not coming” triggering him to whip me with a stick so i beat him up breaking a nuckle”
when he said no one likes you it was to my ex who was a flying monkey of his from another school, a “bait” girlfriend
fast forward as a 20 year old, he stole my girl (another flying monkey lmfao) rage baited me and the following week got another flying monkey to go drinking with me and then left me alone ultimately getting me bashed from my rage. then he insulted me with a news article so i dissed his dead cousin
anyway, i apologised insincerely basically saying it’s all his fault for the way i reacted with logical / a psychological evaluation on why i did what i did avoiding blame, then he posted the A-Z to trigger my ego again
deep down i know i’m not sorry and didn’t ask for forgiveness so he’s trying to prove that i’m the problem which lowkey is the truth
i’ve been journaling for a week straight and want to seek revenge because he seeked revenge on me, it will be in proportion to what he did to me however it will conclude that he was correct proving that my ego is fragile and that i was insincere
why should i not seek revenge? my ego is fiending. i’ve journaled for a week straight after 3 years of dental pain. i want revenge because he showed no mercy to my bullshit apology which exposed alot of weakness, i see it from his point of view on being ‘even’ but it’s far from that, it feels like we’ve mutually accepted that we are going to war over pride btw this apology was also triggered by him giving my shrooms to lower my ego, to then shit on it.
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2024.05.21 20:45 ElizabethKenobi0621 Brothers chaotic marriage
My brother married an actual psychopath. My brother (40) married the scummiest scum of the earth. Who can only be described as a whore, a psycho, sociopath and an all around terrible human being. It was against the wishes of EVERYONE. For back story…She had a child by another man… and only had him (in november) to live off the government. he met the stray hoe took care of her and her unborn child. they started dating in september and by christmas she had drained his bank account. He moved in with her days after christmas. Proposed. And got married sometime between march and june i honestly can not be bothered to know exactly when. The night before brother was admitted to the er for staph infection in his berries. After the “wedding” that was in the back yard of some pastor . they had a “reception”. Where i photographed/observed the following. A used tampon on washing machine. Shit filled diapers littering the nursery. A surreal amount of clothing on the bed. I said nah im good. And went home. The wedding was in may and she got my brother to legally adopt her child. Im forever convinced if not for my brother she would casey anthony her child. She Munchausened her kid and my brother. Self diagnosing the kid with autism. Pushed or made my brother fall and get multiple concussions. Drugged him with date rape drugs to keep control of him. She was a frequent flier to the ER going to the emergency room for unnecessary reasons. She refused to parent her child insisting that its the worlds job to teach him the bare minimum. She refused to clean as well. Her cockroaches had cockroaches. Cleanliness was mental illness for her. She kicked my brother out asking for divorce. But realized she had to leave bc he paid the bills. She stayed with whoever the hell would take her. Was forced to walk wherever she needed to go. And uttered the words “well i had to walk in the rain so theres my bath for the week” after growing tired of not having his card and money she came crawling back. She avoided parenting like the plague. Every excuse. Uti. Migraine. Yeast infection. Its a tuesday. When her son was 2 she left to go to another state and go to school for being a truck driver. Had no qualms of leaving her kid behind for weeks. Then she dropped out of 18 wheeler school. It seems the wheels on her bus fell off. For someone who doesnt believe proper hygiene was important she didnt believe bathing him and basic care was important. Feet encrusted in dirt and dirt under overgrown nails. It was so noticeable that when i cut his nails his teacher made comment about it. Her family was just as absent as you would expect. Her mother only went to the first birthday party when the child was 6. And didnt even know her own grandchild. Asked another child at the party if he had the best birthday! My mom looked at her and said “yeaaa thats the wrong kid…” Fast forward when the first born was 6 and she birthed her second. This had no change and her parenting never improved. Another child encrusted in dirt. After the youngest turned a year and a half my brother had knee surgery and stayed with us (me mom dad) to recover because she would have made him cook clean and parent. While he was healing for the week he was there she moved in her boyfriend AND girlfriend. By the way she not only a hoe she is a promiscuous hoe with no moral compass. I promised my mom id never call CPS however when the second was 2 i had a friend call cps. Like a special ops team cops went in at 2 am and gathered the children and brought them to me and my parents. We had the 2 year old and a friend of the hoe had the 8 year old. For 2 weeks my brother agonized over his kids being taken. And she had a vacation. She treated it as if having your kids repo’ed as a right of passage. Told the world. Told the teacher. And had the time of her stupid life. In the 2 weeks i had them i had minions collecting screenshots of statuses of her being a bad mother. Which was super easy bc every thought made it to facebook. Such as. “My dentist suggested i brush my teeth at least once a day” “i guess i was doing (brother) with the wrong meds and made him sick” “why dont grandparents raise our children” i gathered these gems and photographic evidence of the state of the house and cleanliness of children to cps, police and eventually divorce lawyer. During their time together the hoe broke my brother mentally spiritually emotionally physically financially. The food stamps ran out in the first week of every month spent on junk soda and unnecessary nonsense. They had to ask my mother for money that accumulated to the tune of $10,000 over 10 years. She is also a gofundme whore. She would start a gofundme 10-12 times a year for any and everything. She decided at one point to go back to school and did an amazon wishlist for school supplies and a gofundme for “gas food and other expenses”. Being the trash human she is she is friends with people of unsavory character. An actual crack head bought her entire amazon wishlist. Which she put on facebook. Yikes. At one point she found a dog and instead of finding the owner she finders keepers that poor pup. Making yet another gofundme for dog expenses. I told my friends i would paaaay them to claim the dog as theirs so my mother didnt pay for yet another mouth to feed. If youre curious about the gofundmes and if they were ever fruitful… when a bull milks a calf will her gofundme work. The final year of their marriage was no less chaotic. The christmas of 2019 she posted on facebook that its so wonderful that her husband is out working and her boyfriend is sleeping next to her and her girlfriend is cooking. Tagging the aforementioned on facebook. My brother was humiliated because infront of church members family and friends his marriage and all the stupidity that came with it was out in the open for all to judge. My brother was at the time a corrections officers and let his kind nature and naivety get him in trouble. A person asked him to take some taco bell to an inmate and in what could only be called a moment of stupidity (sorry mom) he did so. what he didnt know is they put drugs in it and when it was scanned he was arrested. My mom and dad had to bail him out too him home and around 3 am he called me “they voted me out” beyond confused i asked what the hell does that mean? As it turned out. Hoe boyfriend and girlfriend unanimously voted him out of the house. Mind you. Single wide trailer housing 4 adults 2 kids a dog and cats. June of 2020 he moved back in a month later if the children followed. after the actual breadwinner left the house the unemployed baboons could not pay the rent and were kicked out. The three went down to two with the girlfriend being let go. Hoe and boyfriend moved in with her mother. And boyfriend wrecked the car in my brothers name. Dui and head on collision. Car gone! The children stayed with us. The youngest was 2 at the time and began calling my mom “mommy” which pissed off the hoe. And she never contacted them. At the hearing for the divorce she stated all she wanted out of the relationship was not money or visitation. But her maiden name back. TAKE IT. AND LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE. She also used a photo of her kids on a gofundme to get sympathy and posted that to a fetish website. Seeing as the photo was them shirtless i believe that was on purpose. She dumped boyfriend and found a new love in new hampshire. She was in NH for 8 months with her new boyfriend and he lost his job so they moved back down. After a summer of no contact she called and told the children “when i get home we are going to….” And listed about 10 events places and activities to look forward to. None of which she delivered on. After not spending time with them again and choosing to give up her weekend with them to play video games for 30 HOURS STRAIGHT. She eventually in 2024 decided that her and her boyfriend were moving to Massachusetts. Seeing how she is a practicing witch my only hope is the salem witch trials reconvene. She married the dude she abandoned her kids for. On mothers day the children who no longer give a damn she exists were forced to call and tell her happy mothers day. Where the 6 year old proceeded to tell her the older brother got a phone and didnt wanna give her his number. She assured him that as his mother its quite alright to give mommy dearest the number to which the youngest said yea no he doesnt want to. The mouths of babes. She cried and posted on facebook not only do her children hate her but she had to give up her cats too. And wished the “real mom’s of the world a happy mothers day” shes a shit cat mom too! A week after we had spaghetti for dinner and the 6 year old said “i never used to like spaghetti. I only tried it at… whats her names house? Jordan? Yea her house” With their father engaged to a good Godly woman with morals and standards the worst mother to ever mother has been replaced and so far we are all living happily ever after. The moral of the story is if you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas what if you lay down with whores end up with bedbugs and that was a very costly moral
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