Sharp shooting pains on the right temperal side of the head
I am in love with and unable to move on from a girl who too is in love with and unable to move on from someone
2024.06.11 06:51 ChemicalTechnology35 I am in love with and unable to move on from a girl who too is in love with and unable to move on from someone
I (17M) just don't know what to do anymore. I have so much regret over losing the love of my life and I know that's dumb to say I guess because I haven't been alive long enough to really know if she is the love of my life but its been 8 months and I still live each day with the same amount of pain in my heart as that day that I found out the truth.
Pretty much one year ago from this time, a girl (A) messaged me on insta. I never knew her before that point, but I did recognize her from one of the classes we had together. She was really interested in me and basically admitted that she likes me within the first week that we started talking. And I decided to keep talking/texting with her but I didn't like her in the same way she did, yet. At that point, I was still trying to get over another girl (B) that I had liked, one who never showed me any kindness and basically lead me on because she liked the attention. And I for some reason was dumb enough to keep trying with B, I should have moved on, but I didn't.
I hate myself for that, because the girl that actually liked me, A, was perfect. She always wanted to talk to me, hear about my day, have us tell each other stories, play games, walk together to school, hangout after school, she made me happy when I was sad and she was always there, no matter what. And what did I do? I was stuck in my past and even when I started to have feelings for A, I couldn't let go of B. I know that it's my fault, I have no excuse. But after around two months of A being in love with me, she started to distance herself and right at that time as well, I had finally moved on from B. I didn't realize it then that A had lost feelings for me because it was during summer break and we only communicated over text and did not see each other for weeks. So as the time passed, I fell harder and harder for her because I genuinely believed she still liked me as well.
After summer break we went back to school and it wasn't until a month had passed that everything came crashing down. One day we were just talking and she randomly asked me if she had lead me on to which I said "lead on? what are you talking about?" She said "like after the end of July, did you still think that I liked you?" And I just didn't know how to respond, I sort of was in a state of denial. I refused to believe that everything I believed for the past two months had just been false. I was in such denial that I read through all our texts, all 45,000 words we sent back and forth just to see where everything had changed. And sure enough, this time I was able to sense it in how her texts and voice messages changed around the end of July that she had in fact fell out of love.
And so I didn't speak to her for a week after that, but she kept asking me what was wrong and so I finally decided to tell her what was bothering me, but I couldn't say it in person to her so I just wrote it as a letter and gave it to her after school. I wrote confessing that I loved her and telling her how I hadn't realized she lost feelings. She took it home and that night was the longest night of my life because I knew she had probably read it by then but she hadn't left any text messages. The next morning at school she didn't make eye contact with me and I knew then what her response was. The school day passed and at the end of it she came up to me with her own letter and gave it and left without saying anything else. I waited until 2 in the morning that night to read it. And well it was what I feared, she said she had no idea I liked her and that she had in fact lost feelings and was sorry that she could not love me. And for the first time in my life, I cried. Not the type where I would cry if I scraped my knee, but the type where I realized I had lost the best thing to ever happen in my life and there was nothing I could do about it.
After that I wrote her one more letter which I'm not sure why I did but I guess she must've known after receiving it that I would not be able to move on easily. She gave me one last letter of her own and from then on she slowly started blocking me on all the socials we had. We stopped talking in person and well if I felt empty when I found out she lost feelings for me, I had no idea how much worse it would be in the following months because I didn't just lose someone I loved, I lost my closest friend. She was the one person who I would talk to if I had problems or if I was feeling down but now she was the gone and there wasn't anything I could do about it. The next 3 months of my life felt like they went by in just a few days. I would go to school each day yet now I walked alone, I sat in class but not with her anymore, I texted my friends but I could never text her. After a while we were practically strangers, I no longer knew what was going on in her life and I barely even saw her anymore.
Now I have to tell the other side of the story because while I do blame myself for the majority of this situation, she also had contributed to things not working out. From what I learned over the span of the months when we had no contact, she had loved some guy before me. I don't know why they didn't date but whatever happened, they stopped talking 6 months before she met me. He was apparently not ready for a relationship and stopped talking to her. In those 6 months she probably got over him somewhat and then started talking to me. Now around when she lost feelings for me in July, my best guess as to what happened was that she realized that it was not working out between herself and me and that I would never like her the way she does. And so she lost feelings for me and started to miss the first guy she fell in love with. That guy had already moved out of the area we lived in and had not messaged her ever since that last time. But she still missed him and fell in love with him again.
Now around April, it had been 6 months since I last spoke to her. I still loved her deeply but I kinda began to accept that this is just the reality now. And then out of no where, I check my phone one day and I see a notification saying that she started following me again on insta. It was shocking to see and within the same day I followed her back. But it was a slow process for us to get back on speaking terms. We spoke for the first time 3 weeks after that and it was just a short minute long conversation, but it felt so strange to be able to look at her eyes once again. After that there was spring break and we didn't see each other for a while but when we came back we started talking more regularly and more often. Slowly we opened up to each other again to the point where we could make jokes and smile and stuff.
Things felt somewhat like how they used to but it wasn't the same. We didn't text each other every hour of the day, she didn't run up to me each morning just to walk with me to school, and really it just felt like we weren't really friends but not really classmates either, just two people who for some reason knew each other too well. And well I guessed correctly because I found out that she still hadn't gotten over the guy entirely. Sometimes she would tell her friends she was ready to move on and accept and sometimes she would say she wanted nothing else but him. And I can't really tell because somedays she acts as if she likes me again and then goes on to leave me on read for hours at a time.
So that's where I am now, I don't know why she wants to keep talking to me when she can probably clearly tell that I haven't moved on from her. But then if theres a small chance she might like me again, what is the deal with the guy, has she gotten over him? If not then again, why message me again for the first time in months??? But I think the worst part is that we are both experiencing the same situation, me and her. We both are in love with someone and have refused to move on from them for months even after they have told us that they don't like us back. Except the difference is that for her, that person is the guy and for me... well that person is her. If I could go back in time and just fix things I would do it in an instant because I still carry this regret each and everyday. Please tell me what to do, if moving on from her is really the best option here then I will do what I must and hope someday that I can forgive myself. Thanks for reading.
submitted by ChemicalTechnology35 to Crushes [link] [comments]
Pretty much one year ago from this time, a girl (A) messaged me on insta. I never knew her before that point, but I did recognize her from one of the classes we had together. She was really interested in me and basically admitted that she likes me within the first week that we started talking. And I decided to keep talking/texting with her but I didn't like her in the same way she did, yet. At that point, I was still trying to get over another girl (B) that I had liked, one who never showed me any kindness and basically lead me on because she liked the attention. And I for some reason was dumb enough to keep trying with B, I should have moved on, but I didn't.
I hate myself for that, because the girl that actually liked me, A, was perfect. She always wanted to talk to me, hear about my day, have us tell each other stories, play games, walk together to school, hangout after school, she made me happy when I was sad and she was always there, no matter what. And what did I do? I was stuck in my past and even when I started to have feelings for A, I couldn't let go of B. I know that it's my fault, I have no excuse. But after around two months of A being in love with me, she started to distance herself and right at that time as well, I had finally moved on from B. I didn't realize it then that A had lost feelings for me because it was during summer break and we only communicated over text and did not see each other for weeks. So as the time passed, I fell harder and harder for her because I genuinely believed she still liked me as well.
After summer break we went back to school and it wasn't until a month had passed that everything came crashing down. One day we were just talking and she randomly asked me if she had lead me on to which I said "lead on? what are you talking about?" She said "like after the end of July, did you still think that I liked you?" And I just didn't know how to respond, I sort of was in a state of denial. I refused to believe that everything I believed for the past two months had just been false. I was in such denial that I read through all our texts, all 45,000 words we sent back and forth just to see where everything had changed. And sure enough, this time I was able to sense it in how her texts and voice messages changed around the end of July that she had in fact fell out of love.
And so I didn't speak to her for a week after that, but she kept asking me what was wrong and so I finally decided to tell her what was bothering me, but I couldn't say it in person to her so I just wrote it as a letter and gave it to her after school. I wrote confessing that I loved her and telling her how I hadn't realized she lost feelings. She took it home and that night was the longest night of my life because I knew she had probably read it by then but she hadn't left any text messages. The next morning at school she didn't make eye contact with me and I knew then what her response was. The school day passed and at the end of it she came up to me with her own letter and gave it and left without saying anything else. I waited until 2 in the morning that night to read it. And well it was what I feared, she said she had no idea I liked her and that she had in fact lost feelings and was sorry that she could not love me. And for the first time in my life, I cried. Not the type where I would cry if I scraped my knee, but the type where I realized I had lost the best thing to ever happen in my life and there was nothing I could do about it.
After that I wrote her one more letter which I'm not sure why I did but I guess she must've known after receiving it that I would not be able to move on easily. She gave me one last letter of her own and from then on she slowly started blocking me on all the socials we had. We stopped talking in person and well if I felt empty when I found out she lost feelings for me, I had no idea how much worse it would be in the following months because I didn't just lose someone I loved, I lost my closest friend. She was the one person who I would talk to if I had problems or if I was feeling down but now she was the gone and there wasn't anything I could do about it. The next 3 months of my life felt like they went by in just a few days. I would go to school each day yet now I walked alone, I sat in class but not with her anymore, I texted my friends but I could never text her. After a while we were practically strangers, I no longer knew what was going on in her life and I barely even saw her anymore.
Now I have to tell the other side of the story because while I do blame myself for the majority of this situation, she also had contributed to things not working out. From what I learned over the span of the months when we had no contact, she had loved some guy before me. I don't know why they didn't date but whatever happened, they stopped talking 6 months before she met me. He was apparently not ready for a relationship and stopped talking to her. In those 6 months she probably got over him somewhat and then started talking to me. Now around when she lost feelings for me in July, my best guess as to what happened was that she realized that it was not working out between herself and me and that I would never like her the way she does. And so she lost feelings for me and started to miss the first guy she fell in love with. That guy had already moved out of the area we lived in and had not messaged her ever since that last time. But she still missed him and fell in love with him again.
Now around April, it had been 6 months since I last spoke to her. I still loved her deeply but I kinda began to accept that this is just the reality now. And then out of no where, I check my phone one day and I see a notification saying that she started following me again on insta. It was shocking to see and within the same day I followed her back. But it was a slow process for us to get back on speaking terms. We spoke for the first time 3 weeks after that and it was just a short minute long conversation, but it felt so strange to be able to look at her eyes once again. After that there was spring break and we didn't see each other for a while but when we came back we started talking more regularly and more often. Slowly we opened up to each other again to the point where we could make jokes and smile and stuff.
Things felt somewhat like how they used to but it wasn't the same. We didn't text each other every hour of the day, she didn't run up to me each morning just to walk with me to school, and really it just felt like we weren't really friends but not really classmates either, just two people who for some reason knew each other too well. And well I guessed correctly because I found out that she still hadn't gotten over the guy entirely. Sometimes she would tell her friends she was ready to move on and accept and sometimes she would say she wanted nothing else but him. And I can't really tell because somedays she acts as if she likes me again and then goes on to leave me on read for hours at a time.
So that's where I am now, I don't know why she wants to keep talking to me when she can probably clearly tell that I haven't moved on from her. But then if theres a small chance she might like me again, what is the deal with the guy, has she gotten over him? If not then again, why message me again for the first time in months??? But I think the worst part is that we are both experiencing the same situation, me and her. We both are in love with someone and have refused to move on from them for months even after they have told us that they don't like us back. Except the difference is that for her, that person is the guy and for me... well that person is her. If I could go back in time and just fix things I would do it in an instant because I still carry this regret each and everyday. Please tell me what to do, if moving on from her is really the best option here then I will do what I must and hope someday that I can forgive myself. Thanks for reading.
2024.06.11 06:49 TheHayKing432 Employer trying to get me in trouble for sending email documenting conversation and giving evidence of why things said about me were inaccurate.
I work as a cook at a college campus in New York state. I believe I strained a muscle in my leg outside of work, I did not realize until shortly before I had to go in to work today, and I am out of personal time which at my job will result in a write-up if I call off without personal time. I went in and tried to avoid putting weight on the leg, but I could still feel it getting worse, and when I tried to lift some things I was worried about both aggravating the injury and safety as I could only put weight on one leg and if I tried to put more than my body weight on the other one I would get a sharp pain which could have resulted in me dropping something, which is a safety issue in a kitchen. I mentioned this to our head chef who is my direct supervisor, and asked him if he could make an exception to let me take a vacation day the next day so I could let my leg rest. He told me we were much too busy to let me take off, and that I would be written up if I did not come in. He also told me that I had seemed fine all day so I should just keep going, and that I should have saved my personal time so it was my own fault. We are only 3 weeks from the new fiscal year when personal time resets, and I have only used personal time for very essential things except once when I requested and was approved for a vacation day 3 weeks in advance but they marked it as personal time anyway. Most of it was used up because I needed surgery last summer at the beginning of the fiscal year. I have several times come in to work sick knowing I don't have enough time to call out. I was asking for my coworkers help to lift things, and had been limping most of the day, and there are cameras which should confirm that. I was worried that if I pointed any of this out in person it would become hearsay or I could be accused of saying something worse than I did, and I was worried that if the injury became aggravated and became a workplace issue or that if there was an accident caused by the injury, I could be blamed, so I sent sent my boss the following two emails (names excluded, otherwise word for word):
Chef, At approximately 7:15 p.m. today I informed you that I believe I have a muscle strain in my leg that I got outside of work but did not realize I had until this morning, that I believe it is becoming worse from being here, that I was out of personal time and therefore could not call off, and requested to take a vacation day tomorrow to let it rest and avoid aggravating the injury further at work tomorrow. You told me I could not take the vacation day and that I would be written up if I called off tomorrow and that I should have saved my personal time, and that I have looked fine all day and to keep going. I would like to remind you that the reason I am low on personal time is because I required surgery last summer, and to my best memory, the only other times I have used personal time was while I was throwing up, had no access to a phone or car, when I requested a half day 3 weeks in advance for vacation and was approved but it was marked as personal time anyway, and when I left an hour early after I knew I had less than a full day of personal time left. I would also like to inform you that I have been limping most of the day, which can be confirmed by the cameras and which (coworker 1) said she noticed. (Coworker 2) has been checking on me all day, yeah and I asked (sous chef) for help
I accidentally clicked send on that email before I finished writing it, it should say I asked (sous chef) for help lifting a heavy container. Please confirm this in writing in case the injury is aggravated tomorrow and becomes a workplace injury.
I sent these emails on my break, once I returned I tried to politely tell my head chef that I had sent him an email for documentation but he cut me off to say he was very unhappy I sent it, that he's not that kind of person(I don't even know what that means), and that he spoke to the general manager who will be having a serious conversation with me about it. Both managers from when I worked in a different department at the same company when I was called into the office for minor things and HR Representatives when Ive had to make reports to them sent me emails very similar to the first paragraph summarizing what was said for documentation, so I do not believe this is out of the ordinary for my company, and the rest was a continuation of the same conversation which I thought would be beneficial to have in writing. There is a good chance I will be spoken to by the general manager tomorrow. Did I actually do anything wrong in this situation, and what do I do if they actually try to get me in trouble for this email? If it comes down to it, I do have a legal insurance plan, but that legal insurance comes through my company, and some of my co-workers have told me I can't use the plan against the company paying for it, is that the case? Any help appreciated.
submitted by TheHayKing432 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Chef, At approximately 7:15 p.m. today I informed you that I believe I have a muscle strain in my leg that I got outside of work but did not realize I had until this morning, that I believe it is becoming worse from being here, that I was out of personal time and therefore could not call off, and requested to take a vacation day tomorrow to let it rest and avoid aggravating the injury further at work tomorrow. You told me I could not take the vacation day and that I would be written up if I called off tomorrow and that I should have saved my personal time, and that I have looked fine all day and to keep going. I would like to remind you that the reason I am low on personal time is because I required surgery last summer, and to my best memory, the only other times I have used personal time was while I was throwing up, had no access to a phone or car, when I requested a half day 3 weeks in advance for vacation and was approved but it was marked as personal time anyway, and when I left an hour early after I knew I had less than a full day of personal time left. I would also like to inform you that I have been limping most of the day, which can be confirmed by the cameras and which (coworker 1) said she noticed. (Coworker 2) has been checking on me all day, yeah and I asked (sous chef) for help
I accidentally clicked send on that email before I finished writing it, it should say I asked (sous chef) for help lifting a heavy container. Please confirm this in writing in case the injury is aggravated tomorrow and becomes a workplace injury.
I sent these emails on my break, once I returned I tried to politely tell my head chef that I had sent him an email for documentation but he cut me off to say he was very unhappy I sent it, that he's not that kind of person(I don't even know what that means), and that he spoke to the general manager who will be having a serious conversation with me about it. Both managers from when I worked in a different department at the same company when I was called into the office for minor things and HR Representatives when Ive had to make reports to them sent me emails very similar to the first paragraph summarizing what was said for documentation, so I do not believe this is out of the ordinary for my company, and the rest was a continuation of the same conversation which I thought would be beneficial to have in writing. There is a good chance I will be spoken to by the general manager tomorrow. Did I actually do anything wrong in this situation, and what do I do if they actually try to get me in trouble for this email? If it comes down to it, I do have a legal insurance plan, but that legal insurance comes through my company, and some of my co-workers have told me I can't use the plan against the company paying for it, is that the case? Any help appreciated.
2024.06.11 06:46 WhimsicalWrangler Toddler is genuinely scared of his teenage sister
I think I’m just looking for reassurance, advice or even just to rant. I’m a step mum to two girls, 17 in a month, and 13 in two months. The girls have different mums and our eldest lives 2.5 hours away so unfortunately we don’t get to see her as often as we would like. We have 13yo 50/50, Friday swaps. Both of their mums are fantastic and we get along with them well.
My (almost) 2 year old son has witnessed too many of his older sister’s (almost 13) blow ups. She has ADHD, ODD, anxiety, and her mum has BPD and we are trying to get a diagnosis for our daughter.
Yesterday afternoon, we had another meltdown/blow up after we found out our daughter lied about something again. We’ve been having a lot of trouble with behaviour at home and at school, and in the last month, everything has escalated and it’s been incredibly hard for us all. Her behaviour is honestly out of control and none of us know what to do anymore other than psychiatrists and psychologists but she lies to them as well to get them to think that she’s fine. She’s not. She needs so much help.
Our son has witnessed countless blow ups his entire life, and so has her brothers at her mums house (almost 5 and 2.5). Myself and her step dad take the boys out of the house to avoid them witnessing too much, but unfortunately even just the beginning of these blow ups are enough to scare them all. We also have another baby on the way this coming Oct/Nov and it’s a high risk pregnancy so even I shouldn’t be dealing with the stress.
Every time something happens, our son only sees and hears around a maximum of 10 minutes before I decide that’s it’s time to leave as things don’t seem like they will calm down, I hate leaving my partner alone to handle the situation as I’m always worried she will do something to him, but he too doesn’t want our toddler to witness his sisters behaviour, both verbal and physical. Last night she verbally abused him and he was not in a good way mentally when I got home, he blamed him for her sister moving and “not wanting” to come home to see us, which isn’t true as she’s always changing work shifts and trying to get a weekend if sport to come and see us, blamed my partner for both her and her sisters mums for leaving him (her mum had to tell her that it was her fault and not his), and so many other countless things she decided to pick him apart for. In the end her mum came to help out and took took her home with her as she could see my partner was incredibly hurt and wasn’t in the right headspace. This happens quite frequently, she picks us all apart and knows where our pain points are and hammers down.
Last night, our toddler woke up three times crying which is incredibly unlike him - he only wakes up overnight if he is unwell, or if something has happened with his sister. Today, he hasn’t wanted to leave my side to play and he has missed his nap entirely despite being so tired - he won’t even have a nap with me and keeps crying his sister’s name. This happens every single time she blows up.
She’s always having blow ups at her mums house too. And every time she has a blow up, she suddenly has an issue with the house she’s currently at and wants to “never live here again, I hate you all” and leaves to go to the other house. Only to have a blow up there and the cycle continues.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation???
submitted by WhimsicalWrangler to Mommit [link] [comments]
My (almost) 2 year old son has witnessed too many of his older sister’s (almost 13) blow ups. She has ADHD, ODD, anxiety, and her mum has BPD and we are trying to get a diagnosis for our daughter.
Yesterday afternoon, we had another meltdown/blow up after we found out our daughter lied about something again. We’ve been having a lot of trouble with behaviour at home and at school, and in the last month, everything has escalated and it’s been incredibly hard for us all. Her behaviour is honestly out of control and none of us know what to do anymore other than psychiatrists and psychologists but she lies to them as well to get them to think that she’s fine. She’s not. She needs so much help.
Our son has witnessed countless blow ups his entire life, and so has her brothers at her mums house (almost 5 and 2.5). Myself and her step dad take the boys out of the house to avoid them witnessing too much, but unfortunately even just the beginning of these blow ups are enough to scare them all. We also have another baby on the way this coming Oct/Nov and it’s a high risk pregnancy so even I shouldn’t be dealing with the stress.
Every time something happens, our son only sees and hears around a maximum of 10 minutes before I decide that’s it’s time to leave as things don’t seem like they will calm down, I hate leaving my partner alone to handle the situation as I’m always worried she will do something to him, but he too doesn’t want our toddler to witness his sisters behaviour, both verbal and physical. Last night she verbally abused him and he was not in a good way mentally when I got home, he blamed him for her sister moving and “not wanting” to come home to see us, which isn’t true as she’s always changing work shifts and trying to get a weekend if sport to come and see us, blamed my partner for both her and her sisters mums for leaving him (her mum had to tell her that it was her fault and not his), and so many other countless things she decided to pick him apart for. In the end her mum came to help out and took took her home with her as she could see my partner was incredibly hurt and wasn’t in the right headspace. This happens quite frequently, she picks us all apart and knows where our pain points are and hammers down.
Last night, our toddler woke up three times crying which is incredibly unlike him - he only wakes up overnight if he is unwell, or if something has happened with his sister. Today, he hasn’t wanted to leave my side to play and he has missed his nap entirely despite being so tired - he won’t even have a nap with me and keeps crying his sister’s name. This happens every single time she blows up.
She’s always having blow ups at her mums house too. And every time she has a blow up, she suddenly has an issue with the house she’s currently at and wants to “never live here again, I hate you all” and leaves to go to the other house. Only to have a blow up there and the cycle continues.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation???
2024.06.11 06:46 Playful_Sherbert_179 Desperately need guidance and advice to change my life.
Hi all, I am a 22 year old student who has completed his Bachelors of Technology in Computer Science. Currently I am struggling to find a job in this difficult situation but that is not even the reason I am writing this. I am a very loving and caring person and I know that in my heart but I have dealt with a lot of situations to have become probably an asshole. I am not even an asshole and moreover I am more likely to be a nice guy with people. A person that would understand your situation if you talk to me and would go at any lengths to help you. I have helped a lot of people and I am honestly disappointed if somebody really needs help me from and I deliberately don't help them. It's hard for me to even stand up for myself and have my own boundaries with people. I don't know what has happened to me because when I look back at the things that I have been through, when I was really young I saw my friends get bullied and I was one of the people who used to stand up for them where my friend who was getting bullied didn't even stand up for his own self. I used to get ganged up on, there was a whole group of people that were just against me and wouldn't leave any chance to make fun of me or start fights with me. My best friend who I considered my best friend was also a part of that group which was kind of heartbreaking. I was skinny as hell I guess that's why I got picked up on beaten by people and just became a very easy target for them. I remember one day coming home from school and just crying to my father on how I was bullied. All my parents could do was inform the school authorities that I was getting bullied and they wouldn't take a good enough action from their ends other than just talk to them. I don't know what those authorities did but I certainly wasn't left alone. It has been over 4 incidents where this used to happen to me and honestly at that time nobody could help me not even myself. I guess if I was strong I could atleast back it up for myself. I hate being that helpless child and I still feel a part of it in me. Although I overcame this situation after I once eventually did fight for myself and beat 2 guys at once. I left scars on them with my nails and shit it felt good and they finally felt like I also could be a threat to them. I was still bullied by other groups of people where I couldn't stand up for myself but now this is too much in the past for it to be a concern for me especially since now in the present I weigh around 80 kgs and have built a pretty good physique after I got tired being the weak kid and getting rejected by girls for who I was. I am explaining my life in a sequenced order to share some of things I still remember that has shaped me the way I am today. This was the whole bullying thing which was in a school where I studied from 1st to 8th standard. My grandmother was responsible for raising me before 1st grade in a different school and city. This was because my parents and their families didn't really used to get along. They have different mentalities expectations and honestly they are the worst possible combination in terms of compatibility (both sides of the family my mother's side and my father's side and even the compatibility of my mother and father). My parents had a love marriage they used to study in the same university. Coming to my father, he was an alcoholic big time drinker he used to work a job and would come back at home around 8/9 pm and would drink regularly along with smoke cigarettes. Fuck, this didn't even bother me when I was a kid but just imagine how your family dinners would be like. My parents did not understand each other and didn't contribute any efforts towards changing or understanding the other person. There used to be arguments and fights occassionally at my house. I have an older sister who was pretty mature for her age and she pretty much used to study the whole day. Our relationship was weird because although we were brother and sister we weren't the closest. Although I know that my sister has had her set of challenges and trauma. She has epilepsy and used to get seizures when she was stressed. My mother is on some sort of schizophrenic medication that helps her sleep which was my father's decision when they met a psychologist (I am very against psychologists/psychiatrists in India I feel like they have no actual intent to help an individual and just do their jobs although yes epilepsy is something out of scope) as she used to react in an impulsive/aggressive way which I think is a shitty thing to do like either you should understand why a person reacts the way they did and help them, a medication would never change your behaviour. My parents then decided to take me with them to a different state where both got jobs and leave my sister in my hometown in an hostel. It was heartbreaking for me to leave my sister alone but I was very disappointed because I didn't even get a hug from her knowing it would be long before I meet her again. We shifted to a different state and I started studying in a different school and where everyone spoke a different language I felt like an outsider. Everything was going well so far I had a hobby of playing lawn tennis I was pretty good at it and I enjoyed every minute of playing the sport. Although I had a little bit of resentment towards my parents as I had joined a tennis academy in my hometown which they forced me to quit as I couldn't win professional tournaments. I was not a mediocre player I simply lacked the winner mindset and training as I was only doing what I loved without the help of a personal mentor or guide that would show me how to be the best. I started playing lawn tennis agin here in this different state in my school it felt amazing I made an awesome friend who still to this day is one of the best friends I have ever had. I love this friend of mine he is a very important person in my life and I wouldn't be here if he wasn't here. He has supported me in all of my upcoming troubles and I have done the best to do the same for him. In this same school I fell in love with a girl that agreed to be in a relationship with me. She was not the prettiest but to me she was prettier than anyone. She was my first love and I went so far for her that I just wouldn't for anyone. I used to write poetries and jokes on my notebook that she used to read. To my surprise she broke up with me just a week after she agreed to a relationship I guess she understood that I seriously liked her while she didn't and she might have had a crush on a guy in my class. This was the ultimate downfall for me as I would start becoming alone and felt so worthless. I used to cry for months in my bathroom I honestly just didn't even want to live if it wasn't without her. I started hating myself and I always had feelings of incompetency or self doubt but this assured every negative aspect about me. I kept on trying and trying and trying at that time I didn't know whether it was even worth it I never gave up on her. I tried for 2 years she didn't understand anything and then I had to switch states again. My parents had decided to shift again they were getting better salaries I guess and my father had made a mistake at work so I assume he was embarrassed by it as he may have received a warning but he wasn't able to face it. Again I shifted to a different state meeting new faces trying to make new friends. This was in 10th grade and although I didn't get bullied or anything here I had frequent issues with teachers. I admit I was a pretty mischievous student always making jokes and shit everyone in my class thought I was a hilarious person it's like everything I said was great sense of humour the class enjoyed it I enjoyed it. Some teachers also used to pick on me unnecessarily asked questions and for the homework which was off for me but I had certainly became the center of attention for everyone. Even some girls crushed on me and I also made a girlfriend there but I just didn't know how to talk with girls on the other hand I failed to understand that she liked me quite a lot too. I just didn't understand how to advance or get close with her and I didn't even care too much about it. It was not even a relation it was more like we like each other but don't know what to do with that information. This was a time when I was hearing from my parents left and right regarding my class grades. I liked to pretty much just crack jokes have a laugh and play video games with my friends. Eventually I got through this also but my father had started staying at home and drinking and smoking and avoided work. Then me and my mother decided to shift back to the previous state as I guess they both were not getting regular paychecks and my father was not doing any better. I got disconnected with my father from there onwards and apparently he was pretty sick while we were struggling to live here. My father then decided to go to our hometown and live with my sister. I don't exactly know how sick he was but he started to develop cancer and he refused to quit his habits too. I honestly loved my father when he was sober he was the best person when he was sober. I loved him when he was sober he had a sense of humor and didn't get angry or impulsive like he used to. I wish that I could have made him realise I loved him so much early in my life so maybe I could have avoided what was going to happen. His health started getting worse he continued his habits and one day his salt levels got so low he fell on the back of his head on the floor. My sister and our neighbour helped my father get to the hospital and my father got better. Meanwhile I started liking another girl here and obsessed over her. This was again a period where I didn't score as expected by my mother and started to hate myself again. Me and my mother had a heated argument and it got heated to a point where I hit her. She was alright but I couldn't believe what I did how could I have hit my own mother. Out of guilt I just tried to hang myself on a fan. I didn't know how to apologize to her. I felt like I deserved to get punished of some sort. I hung myself and honestly as soon as I did that I realised that I didn't want to die. The door was closed my mother was home and I started making noises such that my mother hears me. She heard the noises and held me so I could get a breath. While she held onto me I opened the knot I tied. I regretted trying to do such thing my family was so worried because of me my mother was working and she just couldn't leave me to myself alone. I promised to her I would never do this again. I was struggling to find my self esteem as the girl I liked used to talk to me she told me she had a boyfriend but she is facing relationship issues. I simply just expressed my feelings to her at my friend's birthday and then left. She said she had a boyfriend and if that was the case I don't know why she asked for my phone number from one of my friends. She called me and started talking to me for like a month or two I was pretty shy in front of her so in person we didn't really used to talk much. She gave me the excuse of her boyfriend to which I said that she needed to cut contacts with me if that was the case. She did just that she blocked me everywhere which hurt quite a lot and I would beg her to just unblock me again as it was difficult for me she continued to keep me blocked. She sometimes used to unblock me and apologized for blocking me but then would do the same again I would look at her pictures and pray to god about her. Then I realised that she liked another boy who was in the same class as I was. He was tall pretty masculine and strong while I was skinny and frail. I developed insecurities and even more confidence issues and the worst part is that all I heard from my friends were rumours that she has started dating that boy. I completely disregarded the fact that she might be dating him and my hopes were up otherwise. He kinda ditched her and then she came back to me to try to talk to me. This was when I thought I could finally have a chance with her but I was wrong again. We made plans to go to restaurants but she never actually wanted to show to them. This hurt me even more and she kept talking to me while all of this was going on. All these emotions were bottled up against me and I decided to handle with her in the most immature way possible. I straight up told her what I lacked in myself that she saw in that other person. It was just a really hurt bottled up me releasing all this anger to her. This was certainly not mature of me. My exams for 12 th grade had started and I had just stopped studying at all. I just couldn't focus and so decided to just go to the gym instead of studying. Completed my 12th exams when my father had to face a pancreas surgery. Me and my mother visited the hospital and I bursted into tears seeing my father in pain after the surgery was over. Then afterwards my vacations were going on I was free and tried to find some work where I just got scammed and harrassed by the company. They were a fraud company and they even made legal threats to me about how they were gonna file a suit against me for defamation. They had asked for a security fee payment which I submitted but I was suspicious so I had also made a complaint from the app I made the transaction. When they harrassed me and my mother, my mother got really scared and simply instead of supporting me she told me that I was lazy person and I couldn't complete the work they gave me. I am talking about a data entry job yes the classic scam. At that point in my life I was so stressed I had even made a complaint at the local police station regarding it and they said I didn't need to worry about it. But my mother thought otherwise. Time went on and the company's wallet was suspended due to my complaint to which the person and I agreed to take back my complaint if they return the money to me. I took the complaint back I really just wanted the money back. After all this was handled I learned from my sister that father is soon going to pass away. I didn't know what to do my uncle booked us flights, me and my mother visited my hometown. My father had passed away, crazy thing is that I didn't really care because he was very rude and angry because of his alcohol issues. My father's parents and her sister put me and my mother accountable for leaving my father alone in the previous state we lived in. As time went on I realised the importance of a father. I realised that the person who was supposed to shape me and make me a responsible and a strong man is now gone forever. I realised now I have to become my own parent. This is where I ask for advice from everyone on this platform. I am quite detached from my family because everytime I was attached to someone in my family they only hurt me in some way. Not physically but something or some behaviour of them causes me to have resentment and anger towards them to this day. Except my father I completely forgive him and honestly understand his situation. He was pretty fucking depressed and had nobody that showed him love. I wish I could have done better it's too late now but that is why I have no negative feelings for him anymore. No resentment no hatred but only respect and forgiveness. I still am detached with my family though my mother, my sister. I don't like to share anything personal with my family especially the things and feelings I go through. I don't even think they understand what I am going through. They are incapable of supporting me their own selves. Worst part is this isn't even the end it just keeps getting worse. I was doing my 4 year degree in the college where my mother teaches. I developed a pretty good habit of going to the gym along with my good friend. We made a hell of a lot of progress and I eventually overcome the skinny me even made a lot of diet changes. I was honestly doing so well at one point in my 2nd year. I had everything working for me. My grades were good I was making friends and making progress in the gym. A lot of people wanted to be my friend. One of my good friend my classmate got placed in a company so he left the college. In college we were almost always with each other 24/7. He left which is when I found another friend circle where I met a girl. I liked the girl and told her the same. I supported her in her hard times then the same pattern kinda emerged she agreed to a relationship then broke up with me again. I just don't even understand this girl mentality I feel like it's honestly because of how naive I am with girls how innocent I am with them that this happens. She broke up with me within 2 days of getting into a relationship which is when I completely stopped talking to her and blocked her. This is when she was pretty alone and wanted to talk to me but I just had enough of all girl excuses. Didn't talk to her for about 2 months she kept asking about me to her friends. She missed talking to me and me coming over to her place and everything. Then I finally decided to talk to her and she again gave me some lame ass reason that her brother is not well so she can't even think of a relation. Our group collectively made a plan of a sleepover. She was also there and all of us had a few drinks after which she slept on my lap. I didn't even want to get into sex with her that was how much I liked her. I had never felt this much love for anyone ever before. I simply just hugged her the whole night and we slept it off. She called it a relationship there and we were officially together. We even got intimate a few times after that. She also seemed to care for me. Due to some disagreements I sometimes got angry at her for a few things and she just lost it after that. She decided she didn't want to be with me and again I was left in this rabbithole yet again. Especially when she was the one that begged to talk to me when she was alone she claimed she even got depressed and shit. When I started taking the relationship very serious is when she left me. I ended up being the depressed one. During that 2 month period of us not talking to each other my sister had asked me for money from my mother's bank account. She lied to me to get money from us. She lied to everyone in order to get money from us. I trusted her so much that I gave her the money from my mother's account and informed my mother later about it. Then my sister asked for more money which is when I confronted her about what was going on she said she was investing money somewhere and I instantly knew she got involved into a scam. I tried to talk sense into her made her realise it was a scam and that we were going to lose money but she was determined that we will recover all our money. I even fucking cried in front of my mother while I talked to my sister in a phone call for over 30 minutes I didn't stop crying. I knew I was going to lose money and nobody in my family seem to even care about me or how I reacted to it. My sister told me that if I didn't send her more money she would lose all her previously invested money. I wanted my family to look at a boy crying and realise that he was right but instead they all seem to know better than me. This is the worst feeling a boy or a man can ever feel being felt absolutely useless in their own home. I am being used to extract money. My sister barely even asked me how I was doing but always seemed to call me when she needed something. She did this sort of investment thing to help our family she thought she can change all of our lives I understand it but she was wrong. My mother told me to transfer the money she knew we could lose the money but my mother was also quite optimistic I guess. To my surprise yet again, we lost the money it indeed was a scam and hurray we just fucking lost over 35 lakh rupees on top of which my sister had taken up personal loans which needed to be paid. I visited her to check what was actually going on and to ensure whether my sister would not do something stupid. I was angry at her, disappointed in her all this I thought she was such an intelligent person and the most mature person. My trust was broken. My sister had taken money from some moneylending apps who were absolutely ruthless. They used to harrass my sister and I they had access to my sister's phone due to the apps installed and permissions given. They made her fake photographs and threatened to spread them to other known people of her contacts. I dealt with that situation like a man but I lost myself I felt like I couldn't even help my sister I would kill that man with all my anger and rage I had but I was so helpless this was all done online. My sister carries a huge burden on her for this mistake and I don't blame her she was innocent she made a mistake it's ok. My whole family is stronger than ever and we are very optimistic to recover from this. But all I really want in return from my family is to trust me and treat me like the man of the family but instead of that they do the opposite as I am the youngest in my family. Coming back to my girlfriend breakup. It was again devastating and this was when I started to give up as my family didn't support me at this time I don't blame them but I need care and affection from them. Undeniable and unconditional care and support which I didn't get. It took me over 6 months to recover from that with endless crying nights all by my own. Gym and friends is just what kept me alive. I learned a very important lesson in terms of girls and relationships. Currently in my most present scenario I am at a lot of pressure from myself I also got involved into a lot of drugs such as alcohol, cigarettes and weed to avoid the pain. I even got into medicated drugs for that matter and I also watch porn for pleasure. I decided I have to stop relying on drugs and I was not really dependent on them. They made me feel good but I wasn't dependent on them that so much that I could never change. I quite all drugs and medications but I still watch porn and use my smartphone quite a lot. I have completed my degree but I am unemployed. I am struggling to find a CS job or hell even an internship. I have anxiety, confidence issues I have become quite lazy and depressed. My room is a fucking mess I have huge expectations from myself. I try to study like a scholar but I am not able to study a hell of a lot in fact I am not able to enjoy study sessions much. I have terrible neck pain, allergic rhinitis, inability to focus concentrating on studies and shitty routines. I occasionally feel depressed and do not enjoy doing these hard tasks. I want to get better I want to improve. I want to earn money and do really well for myself. I want to feel proud of myself completely change my identity become responsible, mentally and physically strong. I don't know how all of these things I need to do all on my own with no support whatsover it feels so difficult. How do I get better from here what should I do? I know what I should do but how do I actually do it? My mother is struggling at her job and I have to step up but I don't know how I feel too defeated by everything to gain courage back to make a change. I am very sorry for this long ass story I wanted to give a brief summary of everything that has happened in my life. I know your experiences shape you. Any guidance and support is appreciated!!!
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2024.06.11 06:42 Impressive-Baby-1445 Columbia Pt. 1 Dreams
This is Part 1 of a multi part series I'm working on. Hope you guys enjoy it. Part 2 will done soon.
This is based off of true events.
I don’t dream often, but even when I do, I don’t ponder on my dreams. To me, they’re the brain's way of coping with the reality we live in, giving us condensed and digestible images or films to understand the stress we deal with daily. However, there are other times that after having a dream, something happens in the real world that, well to put it plainly, correlates directly with the dream had while in the world of slumber. Those are the dreams I pay attention to. They’re deeper than deja vu, more like a premonition of things to come. I’d be lying if I said this happened to me often, I’m not claiming to be some kind of psychic. But regarding the dream I just had, I remember seemingly important parts as clear as glass. But, just like any dream, there are segments that I can’t recall. It’s what I imagine someone who has just woken up from surgery feels. They’re aware they had surgery but don’t know the details.
The beginning of the dream is clear to me. I was standing, staring blankly at the end of an aisle of a store. It took me a moment to figure out where I was, but after looking down the narrow aisle and seeing that it was lined with toys, I realized I was in a toy store. My blank expression broke into a glee filled smile as I excitedly waltzed down the aisle. From what I gather from this first part of the dream, I’m no older than 7 or 8. My happy expression only intensified when I saw that I was in the train section. I remember loving Thomas The Tank Engine at around this age so I wasted no time exploring the aisle. I probably watched Thomas And The Magic Railroad to a level of exhaustion, and I used to wear a little train conductor outfit everywhere I went, even to bed sometimes. The feeling I had looking through the trains in the aisle is what I suspect an alcoholic feels entering a Liquor Store and browsing the bottles. After what felt like an eternity of getting lost amongst the wooden train engines, track sets and toy tunnels, I finally found something that made all the other toys on the aisle, in my kid mind, feel irrelevant. A rare Special Edition Golden Thomas.
My focus was broken by a voice from the end of the aisle. “That’s pretty cool.” It caught me off guard and I jumped a little. I looked to my right and I saw a little girl, about my age. She was wearing a navy blue dress with a matching hairband holding back her curly dirty blonde hair and her eyes were soft and friendly. “Oh! Hi!” I said nearly in a shout, showcasing that she had scared me. She stifled a giggle at my outburst. I tried to recover and play it cool. “Oh, hi. I didn’t see you there.” I said in a pathetic attempt at coolheadedness. I knew it didn’t work when she giggled again. “My name is Wendy. The train. It's cool.” She said as she laughed. “What?” I said cluelessly. “Oh! Yeah, I’ve wanted it forever. I’ve only seen it in commercials. Even his face is gold. It’s cool because normal Thomas has a gray face.” I said, feeling a little nerdy. “Oh, My name is Chris.” I added quickly. She walked over and stood next to me, turning to face the wall of trains that I was looking at. Now that she was closer to me I could see just how pale her skin was, like she hadn’t seen the sun in years.
“She’s my favorite.“ Wendy said, pointing to a train above the Golden Thomas. It was Lady, the new character from the Magic Railroad. “Yeah, yeah she’s pretty cool.” I said, thinking to myself that the Golden Thomas was way cooler. She replied with a strange response, or at least odd for a six year old, she said, “They just got these this morning when freight came in on the truck. (She sighed deeply) Just in time for the Holiday shopping season. The funny thing is I bet half the associates aren’t even aware they’re in yet. Worse yet I don’t even think they know it’s black friday tomorrow. Nobody, and I mean nobody, pays attention around here.”. I looked at her as though she had spoken to me in Latin. “Huh?” I said confused. I had never heard a kid my age speak like an adult before. But instead of trying to play it off, she just turned to me and said, “I know a really cool place we can go, where we can watch The Magic Railroad.” “Really?! Where?” I said excitedly. She giggled and took me by the hand. “Come on, I'll show you.” We both ran out of the aisle and out of the toy store.
It was then that I realized that we were in a mall and the toy store was just one of many stores. We ran and skipped together down the huge main hallway of the mall with stores with their lights off on either side of us, like they were closed. Somehow it didn’t shock me that we were the only ones there. Like I knew that the mall was closed and I just didn’t care. We ran until we came to the end of the hall where there was a Regal Movie Theater. It was open and the lights were on unlike the other stores but their glow didn’t seem to illuminate that shadowy corner of the mall. The red blue and yellow neon lights surrounding the entrance to the theater reflected off of the mall’s tile flooring that I was walking on however. Sure enough there was a poster advertising the Thomas movie upon entering the theater. I looked around a little, everything seemed so familiar. The dim lighting, the weird carpet with a squiggly pattern all over it, the concession area and the smell of popcorn. I ran over to the candy wrack and just looked over all the different snacks they had. Wendy was standing in my periphery seemingly looking at the snacks too. I spotted a pack of twizzlers and went to grab for it. Sammy suddenly whipped around quickly to face me, almost like she was on a swivel. Her speed shocked me and I was about to laugh it off when I looked up and saw her face. Her brown eyes were now milky, sunken and cold, their warmth having left them. The little remaining color in her face was now gone, leaving it nearly gray and her skin almost seemed like cracked porcelain. Her mouth was gaping open like some rabid animal. Without moving her open mouth, a sound came out of it, like a speaker. In fact now that I think about it, it did sound like an old recording with the background static and grainy audio. She said, “Stealing is bad! Don’t do it, or else! Or else—!” Then it ended like it had been cut off.
I think she could see the fear in my expression because the color in her face returned and her eyes became normal again. She apologized, looking down at her feet, as though she was embarrassed, covering her face with her hands. “I’m sorry.” she said softly, sounding as if she were about to cry. It took a couple seconds but my fear subsided and after a moment of awkward silence, I said timidly, “It-it’s okay.” For some reason I felt bad for her. She didn’t look back up at me and I could tell she was crying now. I didn’t really know what to do but I wanted her to know it was okay. So I went to put my hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, before I could touch her, her whole body twitched dramatically once. I could see her skin was deathly white again and even with her hair obscuring her face, between the gaps in her blonde locks, one milky gray eye pierced my soul. I just stood in utter petrification as she whispered, “You can never leave Neverland.” I was terrified, I didn’t know what to do so I began to slowly back away. Once I had stepped away I was able to see something standing far behind Wendy down the hallway leading to the individual theaters. It was a shadow not Wendy’s shadow, it was someone else’s. Suddenly, Wendy glided out of view silently and without moving a muscle. It was as though she had frozen into a statue and the floor beneath her had become ice. She glided away from me quickly and without losing momentum. She dissolved into the dark corridor with that tall shadow. The last thing I saw of Wendy was her glaring eye before it too disappeared. I was in shock, my kid brain was trying to grasp what was happening but failing. But now I could see the shadow in its fullness. It was the silhouette of a tall skinny woman with thin stringy hair and wearing a tattered nightgown or maybe a dress. I could make out no other details except her eyes. They were open wide and wild, almost glowing white from reflecting the neon lights. She was staring at me, silently watching. At that I sprinted out of the theater. I was too scared to make a sound. I wanted to shout for my mother but I couldn’t bring myself to yell. What if that girl, or whatever she was, heard me? She’d find me again, glide towards me and then… oh God where was my mom?
This is where my memory fails me a little. I don’t know what happened but somehow, after running around for a while, I arrived back in the toy store and at the train aisle. The girl, or anyone else for that matter, was nowhere to be found, I was alone. I stood still catching my breath for a moment when the allure of the Golden Thomas captured me again. I cautiously entered the aisle but once I could see the golden train on the shelf, all apprehension left me. “That girl was crazy.” I thought to myself. “I wasn’t going to steal anything. Why would I steal when I could just ask my mom.” I was a little worried that I couldn't find my mom but I was sure she was around there somewhere. I walked over and I reached out to grab the train. Immediately when my fingers grasped the toy’s box everything around me changed. It was as if I were in a movie and I had just been placed in a new scene. I was leaving the toy store again and entering back into the larger structure of the mall. I was holding someone’s hand and they were pulling me forward, but not enough for it to hurt.
Assuming it to be my mom, I first looked to see if I had the Golden Thomas but there was nothing in my hands. I looked up to ask if my mom had it only to realize that whoever had my hand was not my mother. I only saw a figure dressed in white and black. At first I didn’t know how to react until I saw that this thing wasn’t taking me to a different store. It was, instead, leading me toward a rusted white door with the paint chipping off. I panicked and began to scream. “Mom, help! No! Mom, I don’t know who this is! Help!” But as I cried and struggled the figure only gripped me harder and walked faster. At that moment a sound came from the loudspeakers in the mall, “Or else! Or else—”. It was that girl, Sammy. It repeated like that two times, being cut off at the end. But the third time it finished.“Or else! Or else Captain Hook will get you, Peter. Run Peter !” I was being pulled so hard toward the rusted door now that I thought my arm would dislocate. But no matter how hard I fought back, the black and white figure dragged me closer. My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest and I continued to scream. “Stop! Please, Mom! Somebody help!” From beyond the rusted door I could hear a muffled sound. It became clearer as I was being dragged closer. Carnival music, it was out of tune carnival music, or at least something resembling that. The door swung open and the doorway led only to pitch darkness. From within the darkness I heard the music clearly, it was a haunting rendition of A Pirates Life For Me accompanied by what was either the sound of kids screaming in glee or screaming in terror, it was impossible to distinguish. All effort to escape was hopeless. The stranger, Captain Hook, pulled me in the darkness. The sound of the ghostly music and the children was instantly replaced by the sound of a phone ringing, it was my phone. It jolted me awake and I was freed from the grasp of the nightmare.
I immediately turned over to face my nightstand where my phone was. I grabbed it and was blinded by its brightness. My brain was still fuzzy from sleep so this felt like a flashbang. Through my tired squinted eyes I saw that it was an unknown number and I typically let those go to voicemail. Still as an adult I don’t like talking to strangers. Upset that this person had just interrupted my sleep, as horrifying as my nightmare was, I slammed my thumb down dramatically on the red icon. I placed it back on my nightstand and rolled over. I wasn’t tired anymore, that dream and then my phone was like an instant shot of espresso topped off with adrenaline. I laid there for a little just thinking and mulling over my thoughts, mulling over the dream. Through my blinds I could see that it was morning time so after I had a little more time in bed I decided to get up and start my day. No use in waiting for my alarm. After letting my dog out and getting ready for work I checked my phone and saw that I had indeed been left a voicemail. I told myself that I would listen to it after I got off from work. I put my phone in my pocket, said bye to my pup and left the house.
All day at work I felt off, like there was a growing anxiety within me, in my core. I work at a warehouse and my job is to basically stack pallets of product, wrap the pallet in plastic and get it ready to ship out on a truck. It’s a job that requires some attentiveness. But all day I was spacing out having day dreams almost like I was in an anxious haze, yet I couldn't pinpoint the source of the anxiety. At lunch I sat in the cafeteria on site just staring at my raman. I was hungry but I was too caught up in my own head to want to eat. “You okay there Chris?” My head shot up to see my manager John sitting across the table from me. “You okay man? You don’t look too good.” “Yeah, uh… yeah. I’m fine, I-I just didn’t sleep very well yest- last night, I mean. But I’m fine.” I said, nearly stuttering. I could tell that John knew something was up that I wasn’t telling him by the way he looked at me. “Look, I’m over staffed today, just not enough freight coming in.” John said. “You look like you could use a day, plus it’s Friday. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off.” I was hesitant to accept, I felt guilty leaving. But John didn’t really phrase it as a question, so I obliged.
When I arrived home I was greeted by my dog, a pitbull labrador mut, Dianna. While I usually reciprocate her greeting, I was in such a daze that I didn’t acknowledge her at all. She immediately could tell something was off about me. She even started acting shady towards me, keeping her distance and side eyeing me. I was exhausted and so I just went upstairs to bed. It was strange, as I went up my stairs, I couldn’t help but notice that the darker areas of my house were noticeably more dull. I collapsed onto my bed with my shoes still on and almost instantly fell into a dreamless sleep. I woke up the next day at 6 AM. I had slept for over 12 hours. After that my weekend went fine. Nothing really noteworthy happened to be honest. I mostly just sat around and I at some point wrote down my nightmare in my journal while I watched Friends. On Monday, three days after the incident at work, I was actually leaving work and sitting in my car about to drive out of the parking lot when I remembered the voicemail. I pulled it up on my phone and listened. “Hi, Chris. This is Detective Connor Davidson with the Richland Police Department. Do you remember me? I know it’s been… has it been 3 years already? Damn. Anyway, would you mind calling me back when you get this? I have an update. Thanks.”I was in a little shock. I hadn’t heard Connor’s voice in a long time. Not since I had lived in Richland Washington 3 years prior. Not since all those horrible things happened.
Sitting in my car my mind was reeling after hearing Connor’s voice. I was fixated on the phrase, “I have an update.” Over and over again it repeated in my mind and a lump formed in my throat as I pressed the Return Call icon on my phone. The phone rang twice and then Connor answered. “Detective Davidson.” He said. For a second I didn’t say anything, unsure how to even introduce myself because my brain was so occupied. “Hello?” Connor broke the awkward silence. I finally spat something out. “H-hi Connor, it's Chris. Jackson. You called me a couple days ago. With an update?” Connor’s voice immediately became friendly and full of recognition. “Oh, hey man. How’s it going? It’s been a long time.” “I’m okay.” I said. Connor’s cordialness broke me out of my weird mindset. “It has been a long time. Last we talked it was Officer Davidson I believe. You must like the pay raise.” “Oh yeah, it's great. I can actually afford my car payment and groceries.” We both chuckled. “How do you like being a Detective?” I asked. “It’s pretty great, to be honest. I basically get paid to write reports and eat donuts at the station.” He said, obviously joking. “I bet in a town like Richland, there’s not a whole lot of action.” I said with a laugh. There was silence on his end of the phone after I said that. It seemed I had reminded him of the reason he reached out to me in the first place. “Have you been keeping up on the news here?” I no longer lived in Richland so I hadn’t. “No? What happened?” I asked, but I had a feeling I knew what the news was, praying that I was wrong. Praying that it wasn’t happening again. “We got him.” He said. “We caught James Reese.” I was once again in shock. I was speechless. I was wrong. My fear indeed did revolve around James, but that he had resurged and was killing again, not that he had been caught.
Connor continued as I had nothing to say. “Late last Thursday, a police station in Baker City received an anonymous tip that he was hiding in an abandoned house. They pursued it and, well it turned out to be true. They took him into custody Friday morning.” “Baker City? Like you mean Oregon?” I asked. “Of all places.” Connor replied. “The state agreed to extradite him here, to Benton County, for prosecution. I still didn't know what to say. I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “Why?” I said. “Why?” Connor repeated as to say “what do you mean ‘why?’” “Why are you telling me this, Connor? I don’t want to know this.” Connor sighed sympathetically, almost regretfully. “This case is moving fast. He’s going to appear in court sooner than later. And unfortunately you’re a key witness to what happened, Chris. It’s more likely than not that you're going to be called on to testify when he is brought before the judge. And seeing that I’ve been made lead investigator on the case, I thought I would give you a heads up before an attorney did it first.” Now I understood. “Thanks.” I said dryly. We talked for a little longer, catching up and making pleasantries. After we hung up, I just sat in the silence of my car, contemplating and dreading the fact that I was going to have to dig up memories I had worked hard to bury. The skeletons in my closet had been stirred up.
submitted by Impressive-Baby-1445 to creepcast [link] [comments]
This is based off of true events.
I don’t dream often, but even when I do, I don’t ponder on my dreams. To me, they’re the brain's way of coping with the reality we live in, giving us condensed and digestible images or films to understand the stress we deal with daily. However, there are other times that after having a dream, something happens in the real world that, well to put it plainly, correlates directly with the dream had while in the world of slumber. Those are the dreams I pay attention to. They’re deeper than deja vu, more like a premonition of things to come. I’d be lying if I said this happened to me often, I’m not claiming to be some kind of psychic. But regarding the dream I just had, I remember seemingly important parts as clear as glass. But, just like any dream, there are segments that I can’t recall. It’s what I imagine someone who has just woken up from surgery feels. They’re aware they had surgery but don’t know the details.
The beginning of the dream is clear to me. I was standing, staring blankly at the end of an aisle of a store. It took me a moment to figure out where I was, but after looking down the narrow aisle and seeing that it was lined with toys, I realized I was in a toy store. My blank expression broke into a glee filled smile as I excitedly waltzed down the aisle. From what I gather from this first part of the dream, I’m no older than 7 or 8. My happy expression only intensified when I saw that I was in the train section. I remember loving Thomas The Tank Engine at around this age so I wasted no time exploring the aisle. I probably watched Thomas And The Magic Railroad to a level of exhaustion, and I used to wear a little train conductor outfit everywhere I went, even to bed sometimes. The feeling I had looking through the trains in the aisle is what I suspect an alcoholic feels entering a Liquor Store and browsing the bottles. After what felt like an eternity of getting lost amongst the wooden train engines, track sets and toy tunnels, I finally found something that made all the other toys on the aisle, in my kid mind, feel irrelevant. A rare Special Edition Golden Thomas.
My focus was broken by a voice from the end of the aisle. “That’s pretty cool.” It caught me off guard and I jumped a little. I looked to my right and I saw a little girl, about my age. She was wearing a navy blue dress with a matching hairband holding back her curly dirty blonde hair and her eyes were soft and friendly. “Oh! Hi!” I said nearly in a shout, showcasing that she had scared me. She stifled a giggle at my outburst. I tried to recover and play it cool. “Oh, hi. I didn’t see you there.” I said in a pathetic attempt at coolheadedness. I knew it didn’t work when she giggled again. “My name is Wendy. The train. It's cool.” She said as she laughed. “What?” I said cluelessly. “Oh! Yeah, I’ve wanted it forever. I’ve only seen it in commercials. Even his face is gold. It’s cool because normal Thomas has a gray face.” I said, feeling a little nerdy. “Oh, My name is Chris.” I added quickly. She walked over and stood next to me, turning to face the wall of trains that I was looking at. Now that she was closer to me I could see just how pale her skin was, like she hadn’t seen the sun in years.
“She’s my favorite.“ Wendy said, pointing to a train above the Golden Thomas. It was Lady, the new character from the Magic Railroad. “Yeah, yeah she’s pretty cool.” I said, thinking to myself that the Golden Thomas was way cooler. She replied with a strange response, or at least odd for a six year old, she said, “They just got these this morning when freight came in on the truck. (She sighed deeply) Just in time for the Holiday shopping season. The funny thing is I bet half the associates aren’t even aware they’re in yet. Worse yet I don’t even think they know it’s black friday tomorrow. Nobody, and I mean nobody, pays attention around here.”. I looked at her as though she had spoken to me in Latin. “Huh?” I said confused. I had never heard a kid my age speak like an adult before. But instead of trying to play it off, she just turned to me and said, “I know a really cool place we can go, where we can watch The Magic Railroad.” “Really?! Where?” I said excitedly. She giggled and took me by the hand. “Come on, I'll show you.” We both ran out of the aisle and out of the toy store.
It was then that I realized that we were in a mall and the toy store was just one of many stores. We ran and skipped together down the huge main hallway of the mall with stores with their lights off on either side of us, like they were closed. Somehow it didn’t shock me that we were the only ones there. Like I knew that the mall was closed and I just didn’t care. We ran until we came to the end of the hall where there was a Regal Movie Theater. It was open and the lights were on unlike the other stores but their glow didn’t seem to illuminate that shadowy corner of the mall. The red blue and yellow neon lights surrounding the entrance to the theater reflected off of the mall’s tile flooring that I was walking on however. Sure enough there was a poster advertising the Thomas movie upon entering the theater. I looked around a little, everything seemed so familiar. The dim lighting, the weird carpet with a squiggly pattern all over it, the concession area and the smell of popcorn. I ran over to the candy wrack and just looked over all the different snacks they had. Wendy was standing in my periphery seemingly looking at the snacks too. I spotted a pack of twizzlers and went to grab for it. Sammy suddenly whipped around quickly to face me, almost like she was on a swivel. Her speed shocked me and I was about to laugh it off when I looked up and saw her face. Her brown eyes were now milky, sunken and cold, their warmth having left them. The little remaining color in her face was now gone, leaving it nearly gray and her skin almost seemed like cracked porcelain. Her mouth was gaping open like some rabid animal. Without moving her open mouth, a sound came out of it, like a speaker. In fact now that I think about it, it did sound like an old recording with the background static and grainy audio. She said, “Stealing is bad! Don’t do it, or else! Or else—!” Then it ended like it had been cut off.
I think she could see the fear in my expression because the color in her face returned and her eyes became normal again. She apologized, looking down at her feet, as though she was embarrassed, covering her face with her hands. “I’m sorry.” she said softly, sounding as if she were about to cry. It took a couple seconds but my fear subsided and after a moment of awkward silence, I said timidly, “It-it’s okay.” For some reason I felt bad for her. She didn’t look back up at me and I could tell she was crying now. I didn’t really know what to do but I wanted her to know it was okay. So I went to put my hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, before I could touch her, her whole body twitched dramatically once. I could see her skin was deathly white again and even with her hair obscuring her face, between the gaps in her blonde locks, one milky gray eye pierced my soul. I just stood in utter petrification as she whispered, “You can never leave Neverland.” I was terrified, I didn’t know what to do so I began to slowly back away. Once I had stepped away I was able to see something standing far behind Wendy down the hallway leading to the individual theaters. It was a shadow not Wendy’s shadow, it was someone else’s. Suddenly, Wendy glided out of view silently and without moving a muscle. It was as though she had frozen into a statue and the floor beneath her had become ice. She glided away from me quickly and without losing momentum. She dissolved into the dark corridor with that tall shadow. The last thing I saw of Wendy was her glaring eye before it too disappeared. I was in shock, my kid brain was trying to grasp what was happening but failing. But now I could see the shadow in its fullness. It was the silhouette of a tall skinny woman with thin stringy hair and wearing a tattered nightgown or maybe a dress. I could make out no other details except her eyes. They were open wide and wild, almost glowing white from reflecting the neon lights. She was staring at me, silently watching. At that I sprinted out of the theater. I was too scared to make a sound. I wanted to shout for my mother but I couldn’t bring myself to yell. What if that girl, or whatever she was, heard me? She’d find me again, glide towards me and then… oh God where was my mom?
This is where my memory fails me a little. I don’t know what happened but somehow, after running around for a while, I arrived back in the toy store and at the train aisle. The girl, or anyone else for that matter, was nowhere to be found, I was alone. I stood still catching my breath for a moment when the allure of the Golden Thomas captured me again. I cautiously entered the aisle but once I could see the golden train on the shelf, all apprehension left me. “That girl was crazy.” I thought to myself. “I wasn’t going to steal anything. Why would I steal when I could just ask my mom.” I was a little worried that I couldn't find my mom but I was sure she was around there somewhere. I walked over and I reached out to grab the train. Immediately when my fingers grasped the toy’s box everything around me changed. It was as if I were in a movie and I had just been placed in a new scene. I was leaving the toy store again and entering back into the larger structure of the mall. I was holding someone’s hand and they were pulling me forward, but not enough for it to hurt.
Assuming it to be my mom, I first looked to see if I had the Golden Thomas but there was nothing in my hands. I looked up to ask if my mom had it only to realize that whoever had my hand was not my mother. I only saw a figure dressed in white and black. At first I didn’t know how to react until I saw that this thing wasn’t taking me to a different store. It was, instead, leading me toward a rusted white door with the paint chipping off. I panicked and began to scream. “Mom, help! No! Mom, I don’t know who this is! Help!” But as I cried and struggled the figure only gripped me harder and walked faster. At that moment a sound came from the loudspeakers in the mall, “Or else! Or else—”. It was that girl, Sammy. It repeated like that two times, being cut off at the end. But the third time it finished.“Or else! Or else Captain Hook will get you, Peter. Run Peter !” I was being pulled so hard toward the rusted door now that I thought my arm would dislocate. But no matter how hard I fought back, the black and white figure dragged me closer. My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest and I continued to scream. “Stop! Please, Mom! Somebody help!” From beyond the rusted door I could hear a muffled sound. It became clearer as I was being dragged closer. Carnival music, it was out of tune carnival music, or at least something resembling that. The door swung open and the doorway led only to pitch darkness. From within the darkness I heard the music clearly, it was a haunting rendition of A Pirates Life For Me accompanied by what was either the sound of kids screaming in glee or screaming in terror, it was impossible to distinguish. All effort to escape was hopeless. The stranger, Captain Hook, pulled me in the darkness. The sound of the ghostly music and the children was instantly replaced by the sound of a phone ringing, it was my phone. It jolted me awake and I was freed from the grasp of the nightmare.
I immediately turned over to face my nightstand where my phone was. I grabbed it and was blinded by its brightness. My brain was still fuzzy from sleep so this felt like a flashbang. Through my tired squinted eyes I saw that it was an unknown number and I typically let those go to voicemail. Still as an adult I don’t like talking to strangers. Upset that this person had just interrupted my sleep, as horrifying as my nightmare was, I slammed my thumb down dramatically on the red icon. I placed it back on my nightstand and rolled over. I wasn’t tired anymore, that dream and then my phone was like an instant shot of espresso topped off with adrenaline. I laid there for a little just thinking and mulling over my thoughts, mulling over the dream. Through my blinds I could see that it was morning time so after I had a little more time in bed I decided to get up and start my day. No use in waiting for my alarm. After letting my dog out and getting ready for work I checked my phone and saw that I had indeed been left a voicemail. I told myself that I would listen to it after I got off from work. I put my phone in my pocket, said bye to my pup and left the house.
All day at work I felt off, like there was a growing anxiety within me, in my core. I work at a warehouse and my job is to basically stack pallets of product, wrap the pallet in plastic and get it ready to ship out on a truck. It’s a job that requires some attentiveness. But all day I was spacing out having day dreams almost like I was in an anxious haze, yet I couldn't pinpoint the source of the anxiety. At lunch I sat in the cafeteria on site just staring at my raman. I was hungry but I was too caught up in my own head to want to eat. “You okay there Chris?” My head shot up to see my manager John sitting across the table from me. “You okay man? You don’t look too good.” “Yeah, uh… yeah. I’m fine, I-I just didn’t sleep very well yest- last night, I mean. But I’m fine.” I said, nearly stuttering. I could tell that John knew something was up that I wasn’t telling him by the way he looked at me. “Look, I’m over staffed today, just not enough freight coming in.” John said. “You look like you could use a day, plus it’s Friday. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off.” I was hesitant to accept, I felt guilty leaving. But John didn’t really phrase it as a question, so I obliged.
When I arrived home I was greeted by my dog, a pitbull labrador mut, Dianna. While I usually reciprocate her greeting, I was in such a daze that I didn’t acknowledge her at all. She immediately could tell something was off about me. She even started acting shady towards me, keeping her distance and side eyeing me. I was exhausted and so I just went upstairs to bed. It was strange, as I went up my stairs, I couldn’t help but notice that the darker areas of my house were noticeably more dull. I collapsed onto my bed with my shoes still on and almost instantly fell into a dreamless sleep. I woke up the next day at 6 AM. I had slept for over 12 hours. After that my weekend went fine. Nothing really noteworthy happened to be honest. I mostly just sat around and I at some point wrote down my nightmare in my journal while I watched Friends. On Monday, three days after the incident at work, I was actually leaving work and sitting in my car about to drive out of the parking lot when I remembered the voicemail. I pulled it up on my phone and listened. “Hi, Chris. This is Detective Connor Davidson with the Richland Police Department. Do you remember me? I know it’s been… has it been 3 years already? Damn. Anyway, would you mind calling me back when you get this? I have an update. Thanks.”I was in a little shock. I hadn’t heard Connor’s voice in a long time. Not since I had lived in Richland Washington 3 years prior. Not since all those horrible things happened.
Sitting in my car my mind was reeling after hearing Connor’s voice. I was fixated on the phrase, “I have an update.” Over and over again it repeated in my mind and a lump formed in my throat as I pressed the Return Call icon on my phone. The phone rang twice and then Connor answered. “Detective Davidson.” He said. For a second I didn’t say anything, unsure how to even introduce myself because my brain was so occupied. “Hello?” Connor broke the awkward silence. I finally spat something out. “H-hi Connor, it's Chris. Jackson. You called me a couple days ago. With an update?” Connor’s voice immediately became friendly and full of recognition. “Oh, hey man. How’s it going? It’s been a long time.” “I’m okay.” I said. Connor’s cordialness broke me out of my weird mindset. “It has been a long time. Last we talked it was Officer Davidson I believe. You must like the pay raise.” “Oh yeah, it's great. I can actually afford my car payment and groceries.” We both chuckled. “How do you like being a Detective?” I asked. “It’s pretty great, to be honest. I basically get paid to write reports and eat donuts at the station.” He said, obviously joking. “I bet in a town like Richland, there’s not a whole lot of action.” I said with a laugh. There was silence on his end of the phone after I said that. It seemed I had reminded him of the reason he reached out to me in the first place. “Have you been keeping up on the news here?” I no longer lived in Richland so I hadn’t. “No? What happened?” I asked, but I had a feeling I knew what the news was, praying that I was wrong. Praying that it wasn’t happening again. “We got him.” He said. “We caught James Reese.” I was once again in shock. I was speechless. I was wrong. My fear indeed did revolve around James, but that he had resurged and was killing again, not that he had been caught.
Connor continued as I had nothing to say. “Late last Thursday, a police station in Baker City received an anonymous tip that he was hiding in an abandoned house. They pursued it and, well it turned out to be true. They took him into custody Friday morning.” “Baker City? Like you mean Oregon?” I asked. “Of all places.” Connor replied. “The state agreed to extradite him here, to Benton County, for prosecution. I still didn't know what to say. I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “Why?” I said. “Why?” Connor repeated as to say “what do you mean ‘why?’” “Why are you telling me this, Connor? I don’t want to know this.” Connor sighed sympathetically, almost regretfully. “This case is moving fast. He’s going to appear in court sooner than later. And unfortunately you’re a key witness to what happened, Chris. It’s more likely than not that you're going to be called on to testify when he is brought before the judge. And seeing that I’ve been made lead investigator on the case, I thought I would give you a heads up before an attorney did it first.” Now I understood. “Thanks.” I said dryly. We talked for a little longer, catching up and making pleasantries. After we hung up, I just sat in the silence of my car, contemplating and dreading the fact that I was going to have to dig up memories I had worked hard to bury. The skeletons in my closet had been stirred up.
2024.06.11 06:42 MGArcher [QCrit] YA Dark/Horror Fantasy– So Sacred a Sacrifice – 80k, 1st Attempt
Hello. As a disclaimer, this is a new project. This will probably be my only QCrit for this project until I'm actually ready to query. Really, I would just like some advice on how to tackle the issues I can already foresee and I wasn't sure how else to ask. I'm sorry in advance because this is going to be long– I'm honestly so hesitant to post this, but if you could offer any advice or help me understand the most marketable way to tackle this (as tacky as that sounds), I would appreciate it so much. And if you just want to look at the query, I totally get that.
The thing I feel most confident about is that this is a very hooky MS. I think the fact that it's a Dark Fantasy with horror elements will help with some of my other issues. Those issues being (1, my main character is male, and (2, romance is not emphasized. I think with dark/horror focused books, no romance might be a little more forgiveable.
I'm aware cishet, straight, white, male characters are a hard sell right now. (I get the feeling that male leads might be on the verge of a little comeback, but I digress). No romance is even worse.
My MC is a cishet male. He’s not white, he’s from a desert region, but I don't think I can really market him as POC, either. HOWEVER, he is asexual, aro/demiromantic, and autistic– as am I. The fact that I myself am aro/ace is part of why I dislike writing romance. But his orientation and neurodivergency isn't really the focus of the book. Neither is his autism.
To try to make up for the lack of explicit romance in the MS I've decided a female side character will approach him with romantic intentions, but the purpose of this is to show him push back against it and reject her, showcasing his sexual/romantic orientation.
So while he is a queer and neurodivergent main character, and I think that would really help with the fact that he's also a male MC… that's just not the focus of the book. Can I even use his orientation and neurodivergency when querying? If so, how do I do that if it's not the focus of the book? SHOULD I put more focus on it? How do you balance focusing on neurodivergency and queerness in a book that leans on horror elements, or in a fantasy book in general? Is this project marketable at all?
Huge thanks if you read all that. Any and all advice is appreciated. I just don't want to screw this up or devote my time to something that might be DOA. Below is my query, a twitter pitch (for pitching contests) and the first 300 words. Apologies for formatting– mobile user.
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Dear [Agent Name],
Cadonai Talon’s life was a lie.
For the first time in his sixteen years under the custody of Ichemos’ reigning champion, Vikarion Talon, Cade partakes in his family's business. But when that ‘business’ leads Cade to protest the slaughter of an innocent tribe, he discovers nothing about his childhood is what he thought it was.
Ichemos is not an agricultural utopia; it's a warring wasteland constantly fraught with power struggles. At least, it was– Cade's adoptive father has finally conquered the entire region. Everyone in it, including the people he loves, have been inducted into a hive mind in which only a select few are conscious. Their malnourished, soulless bodies fight in Vikarion’s battles and cushion his parties. Worst of all, Cade is meant to be the hive mind’s power source; its resource; its sacrifice. To the people who raised him, that's all he’s ever been.
Cade’s refusal to power the hive mind brings consequences; there are worse fates than joining. A week-long party begins. For the entirety Cade must cater to the whims of the mob and at the end he will be forcibly inducted. Alongside four immune prisoners, Cade takes matters into his own hands and forms an escape plan to warn the lands past Ichemos of his father's spreading infection; all before the party ends. But when unfortunate circumstances separate him from his accomplices, Cade must face Vikarion, his lie of a life, and the dark cause he was made for– alone.
So Sacred a Sacrifice is a YA Dark Fantasy complete at 80k words, where cultish undertones meet the POV of an unwilling, unwitting sacrifice, à la Skyla Arndt's Together We Rot. The grand atmosphere of Emily J. Taylor's Hotel Magnifique is flipped on its head– you'll leave with scars instead of smiles.
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Twitter Pitch
The party lasts a week. The guests are mindless, emaciated, and erratic. The finale? Cade will be forcibly inducted into their hive mind. Seven days are all he has to escape– or he’ll spend the rest of his life as the power source of a spreading cult.
○●○
(First 300)
“You left your sandals at home.”
I’m caught red-handed. Waist-high grass sways to a still around me as I freeze. Slowly, I turn around. Aldrakon is a silhouette against the dark sky. His hands are raised, thumbs hooked in the straps of my sandals. His eyebrows arch, barely visible. We stand facing each other.
I break into a guilty smile. “I thought everyone else would be asleep.”
“We thought you’d be. We were going to wake you up.” His voice is monotone, but I catch the humor in it after years of exposure. “Is sneaking out of the house in the dead of morning your idea of a good birthday?”
I glance at the riverside. I almost made it. Water laps at the bank and frogs croak quietly. A gust of wind rustles through the reeds. I look back at my brother. “Well, spending the morning at the river was. I sort of figured that might be all the alone time I get today.”
“How about spending a day at the Storehouse instead?”
Breath squirms out of my lungs like a worm in a storm. My mouth falls open for a moment before I catch myself and shut it. I sound as croaky as the frogs when I say, “Oh, if this is a joke, it’s a cruel one.”
Aldrakon snorts through his nose and offers out my sandals. “I’m usually not the one who delivers the punchline.”
That’s an understatement. A strange sort of hope seeps in where my breath escaped. I take my sandals, hold them to my chest, and gape. “Dad finally agreed?”
Aldrakon comes to stand beside me, ghosting his fingers against my shoulder and applying subtle pressure to get me moving away from the riverbank and back towards the village. I go willingly. Sunlight is just starting to crack the horizon. “Dad’s the one who planned it.”
submitted by MGArcher to PubTips [link] [comments]
The thing I feel most confident about is that this is a very hooky MS. I think the fact that it's a Dark Fantasy with horror elements will help with some of my other issues. Those issues being (1, my main character is male, and (2, romance is not emphasized. I think with dark/horror focused books, no romance might be a little more forgiveable.
I'm aware cishet, straight, white, male characters are a hard sell right now. (I get the feeling that male leads might be on the verge of a little comeback, but I digress). No romance is even worse.
My MC is a cishet male. He’s not white, he’s from a desert region, but I don't think I can really market him as POC, either. HOWEVER, he is asexual, aro/demiromantic, and autistic– as am I. The fact that I myself am aro/ace is part of why I dislike writing romance. But his orientation and neurodivergency isn't really the focus of the book. Neither is his autism.
To try to make up for the lack of explicit romance in the MS I've decided a female side character will approach him with romantic intentions, but the purpose of this is to show him push back against it and reject her, showcasing his sexual/romantic orientation.
So while he is a queer and neurodivergent main character, and I think that would really help with the fact that he's also a male MC… that's just not the focus of the book. Can I even use his orientation and neurodivergency when querying? If so, how do I do that if it's not the focus of the book? SHOULD I put more focus on it? How do you balance focusing on neurodivergency and queerness in a book that leans on horror elements, or in a fantasy book in general? Is this project marketable at all?
Huge thanks if you read all that. Any and all advice is appreciated. I just don't want to screw this up or devote my time to something that might be DOA. Below is my query, a twitter pitch (for pitching contests) and the first 300 words. Apologies for formatting– mobile user.
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Dear [Agent Name],
Cadonai Talon’s life was a lie.
For the first time in his sixteen years under the custody of Ichemos’ reigning champion, Vikarion Talon, Cade partakes in his family's business. But when that ‘business’ leads Cade to protest the slaughter of an innocent tribe, he discovers nothing about his childhood is what he thought it was.
Ichemos is not an agricultural utopia; it's a warring wasteland constantly fraught with power struggles. At least, it was– Cade's adoptive father has finally conquered the entire region. Everyone in it, including the people he loves, have been inducted into a hive mind in which only a select few are conscious. Their malnourished, soulless bodies fight in Vikarion’s battles and cushion his parties. Worst of all, Cade is meant to be the hive mind’s power source; its resource; its sacrifice. To the people who raised him, that's all he’s ever been.
Cade’s refusal to power the hive mind brings consequences; there are worse fates than joining. A week-long party begins. For the entirety Cade must cater to the whims of the mob and at the end he will be forcibly inducted. Alongside four immune prisoners, Cade takes matters into his own hands and forms an escape plan to warn the lands past Ichemos of his father's spreading infection; all before the party ends. But when unfortunate circumstances separate him from his accomplices, Cade must face Vikarion, his lie of a life, and the dark cause he was made for– alone.
So Sacred a Sacrifice is a YA Dark Fantasy complete at 80k words, where cultish undertones meet the POV of an unwilling, unwitting sacrifice, à la Skyla Arndt's Together We Rot. The grand atmosphere of Emily J. Taylor's Hotel Magnifique is flipped on its head– you'll leave with scars instead of smiles.
○●○
Twitter Pitch
The party lasts a week. The guests are mindless, emaciated, and erratic. The finale? Cade will be forcibly inducted into their hive mind. Seven days are all he has to escape– or he’ll spend the rest of his life as the power source of a spreading cult.
○●○
(First 300)
“You left your sandals at home.”
I’m caught red-handed. Waist-high grass sways to a still around me as I freeze. Slowly, I turn around. Aldrakon is a silhouette against the dark sky. His hands are raised, thumbs hooked in the straps of my sandals. His eyebrows arch, barely visible. We stand facing each other.
I break into a guilty smile. “I thought everyone else would be asleep.”
“We thought you’d be. We were going to wake you up.” His voice is monotone, but I catch the humor in it after years of exposure. “Is sneaking out of the house in the dead of morning your idea of a good birthday?”
I glance at the riverside. I almost made it. Water laps at the bank and frogs croak quietly. A gust of wind rustles through the reeds. I look back at my brother. “Well, spending the morning at the river was. I sort of figured that might be all the alone time I get today.”
“How about spending a day at the Storehouse instead?”
Breath squirms out of my lungs like a worm in a storm. My mouth falls open for a moment before I catch myself and shut it. I sound as croaky as the frogs when I say, “Oh, if this is a joke, it’s a cruel one.”
Aldrakon snorts through his nose and offers out my sandals. “I’m usually not the one who delivers the punchline.”
That’s an understatement. A strange sort of hope seeps in where my breath escaped. I take my sandals, hold them to my chest, and gape. “Dad finally agreed?”
Aldrakon comes to stand beside me, ghosting his fingers against my shoulder and applying subtle pressure to get me moving away from the riverbank and back towards the village. I go willingly. Sunlight is just starting to crack the horizon. “Dad’s the one who planned it.”
2024.06.11 06:42 Fatback72 But WHY??
Imma 51 year old average male that was a single dad for MOST of my two daughters lives. I was with their mom for almost ten years and I wasn't really faithful during those years cause I was young, had a good job traveling and made DAMN GOOD money. I sent money home every week to take care of my kids and the bills (plus the crack she was smoking).. She KNEW I was cheating but idk about the crack cause she hid it pretty good when I DID come home which was about three days a month.. The ONLY REASON that I came home when I did was to see my girls. We lived on the beach in North Florida for MOST of those nine and a half years and we had a summer rental next door which was cool to me cause we always had new people there and since I'm a Sagittarius I like meeting new people but my ex was TOTALLY different in that aspect. One day I noticed that there was a bunch of young ladies on the balcony and me being a whore hollered at em and asked where they were from and turns out it was a sorority from North Carolina and when I told my ex,who was with me at the time, that I would be glad when my girls turned 18 she asked me why and my dumbass replied "so I can fuck their friends" kinda jokingly. It went over like a lead balloon.. It just didn't fly.. It was a HUGE fight and I left to go back to work early. I didn't like fighting in front of my kids and I could do that cause I lived where I worked on the dredge and I'd come back early most of the time or didn't leave at all and just worked to make more money. As you probably expect, we split up when the kids were around 5 and 3 and their mom moved em to Clearwater Beach in Florida and of course she filed for child support even tho I was still sending her money every week.. But what I didn't know since I never went home and she didn't tell me, was that she ALSO filed a "no contact order" in the State of Florida which meant that I couldn't call, write, see, or have ANYTHING to do with my kids pretty much forever or until their mom felt it was safe for me to.. Her reason for doing this?? She said that she thought I would molest my kids because of that ONE STATEMENT that I'd made about the college girls staying at the rental. WTF??!! It's important to note that my ex gets disability because her head ain't right.. She's got more problems than a math book so they give her money to stay home and inside so she ain't out there making problems for the public.. Plus she's a crackhead.. She got 168,000 DOLLARS from back pay and she was broke in SIX MONTHS and didn't have SHIT to show for it. I was DUMBFOUNDED.. Well.. In 2007 I got ran over going to see the Florida/Georgia football game in Jacksonville Florida and I spent the next two years and a few months stuck in a wheelchair cause both my legs were broken by the big ass Ford F-350 dually that had ran me over.. Since they said I wasn't gonna walk anymore, I filed for disability and got it when they decided that my right leg had to be amputated below the knee. I was DEVASTATED..I couldn't even talk to my kids about it because of my crazy ass ex and her stupid shit.. But when I got MY back pay I told my new girlfriend that since my ex was probably STILL smoking crack that I MIGHT be able to bribe her to let me see my kids..a thousand bucks later and I was omw to pick up my kids for my families annual Christmas party. When I got to Clearwater and found her house, I could tell she was smoking WITH MY KIDS RIGHT THERE..I helped my girl pick up my sleeping kids and put em in the car and walked STRAIGHT back in there and went to the last door in the hallway and kicked it open to find her dopeboy in there and I told him that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will he EVER bring that bitch dope when my kids are there or I would drive my ass down from Georgia with some crazy ass rednecks and clean fuckin house and if he had ANY doubts just ask the bitch sitting on the couch smoking crack in the other room and she would tell ya.. But I had NO INTENTION of bringing those girls back cause I had already talked to a couple cops that I grew up with and they said that I didn't HAVE TO bring em back cause I had as much right to em as she did.. Sooooo...I stopped the child support, which PISSED HER OFF but nothing she could do about it except bring her ass up here and take me to court. I had ALOT more money than she did so that wasn't gonna work. So she moved back up here and after a few months she had my house raided by the police and Dfax stating that I was selling ALL KINDA drugs and was trading drugs for sex by my kids friends who were underage btw.. They didn't find NONE of what she was accusing me of but they did find weed at a time when it wasn't cool to possess it so I went to jail and she ended up getting the girls and I went to prison. When I came home she had lost the girls and they were both in foster care. Sooooo.. when I came home I stepped up to the plate and did what I had to do to get my girls.. When it came time for the custody hearing, EVERY ONE of my case workers got on the stand and gave me a GLOWING recommendation for being an UPSTANDING FATHER and said that I DESERVED to have my kids with me.. Sooooo.. My kids moved in when they were 13 & 15 and I was a single dad at the time, an amputee that could no longer work and I sold drugs to supplement my income (I'm being COMPLETELY HONEST in this post y'all I HAVE TO BE ACTUALLY). That was when the pain clinics were OFF THE CHAIN!!I went to a bunch of em cause I was REALLY fucked up physically with two plates in my left leg and my right one gone below the knee. So I got a bunch of pain pills and I sold em FOR YEARS.. I had two kids to raise y'all and the money I got for disability wasn't enough to pay my bills AND buy them EVERYTHING they wanted as teenagers in THIS day and age so I did what I had to do..I think that ANYONE in that situation would do the same thing. Or maybe not but I DID..I ain't PROUD of what I did but at the time I didn't have ANY OTHER OPTIONS. My family isn't rich and although I worked for 27 YEARS in the dredging industry with the union social security wouldn't give me enough money to support my kids and me and the lifestyle that I was accustomed to. But anyways, my kids lived with me from the ages of thirteen and eleven all the way till they were 22 and 20 which was ABOUT four years too long.i left home when I was sixteen and started on the dredge and I told my kids that they needed to grow up by the time they were 18.. my job was DONE in my eyes when they turned 18.. Not as a parent but they HAD TO grow up and of course they didn't like me being on their asses ALL THE TIME as they passed the 18 year mark and they're STILL living at home.. MAYBE I was a little hard on em but that's my job as a parent. Ok so they both move out and into their mom's house who is sooooo glad they came back that they can do pretty much ANYTHING that they want. I don't agree so one of my kids steals a cell phone from my house which is logged into ALL my social media accounts and starts sending messages to someone to make it look like me and making posts on my accounts to make it look like I'm a fuckin pervert, WHICH I'M NOT!!! Sooooo... What I'm asking you guys is WHY would my kids lie like that after I've done EVERYTHING for em..I gave them card when they turned 16, new iPhones every year when they came out, new clothes when they wanted em.. WHATEVER they wanted because I was trying to make up for those lost six years that I didn't get to see em. Maybe I spoiled em TOO MUCH hell idk.. BTW, the WHOLE TIME they lived with me I was single and I sold pain pills(I don't anymore cause my kids are grown) and I had different girls over ALL THE TIME..I even built an addition on the OTHER side of the house so there was NO WAY for them to see or hear anything that might be going on in my bedroom..I covered ALL MY BASES when it came to them cause I DIDN'T want this BULLSHIT to start up because of me running thru bitches like water for so many years..I ain't bragging or nothing like that, I just want y'all to know how this all went down.. Sooooo.. My question is WHY?? WHY LIE?? They KNOW that I ain't EVER done no shit to them OR THEIR FRIENDS.. But yet, I JUST caught my youngest lying to me about this shit TODAY!! And I JUST gave her ANOTHER vehicle cause she wrecked the last one.. TOTALLED is more like it..I don't speak to my oldest cause she and her friend robbed me at gunpoint last year..I LET IT HAPPEN THO cause I couldn't put my hands on em..I LET my daughter get away with it, don't ask me why cause I STILL don't know.. Maybe one of y'all can help me out with this
submitted by Fatback72 to whydopeoplelie [link] [comments]
2024.06.11 06:41 DimensionWilling4 Sales NDA did I mess up?
I recently switched jobs to a competitor after being layed off from another job. The offer and job that I accepted is a direct competitor and sell the exact same thing. The competitor knew I was coming with a few contacts.
It was 5 years ago when I started and I did not know what it meant at the time, but I did sign an NDA about "trade secrets" I did not realize customers were considered trade secrets. (Duh I know)
I did not take a print out with me or anything. Simply what I had remembered in my head. Companies, names, a couple of emails. (First.last@soandso.com) And was able to get a hold of them though the main company phone number, LinkedIn ECT. (I worked with some of these customers for 3-5 years)
Coincidentally enough, the new company that I work for were actually the ones that my old company would outsource though and they would drop ship direct to the customer. (Refurbished computers). Meaning they had had the customers information in their database for over 2 years before I was hired. I would also like to add that I have had to give the customer an address to return the product that is to the competitor that I currently work for any either side could have have easily contacted each other (not sure if that matters)
The verbage on the NDA is as follows.
All **** property is required to be returned . This includes all hardware, as well as all other proprietary information.
lists of **** customers and their contact information, customer specefic data or hardware that may be proprietary to the company.
All of this info would be easily found for instance. Who is (insert company) IT director. Also these were customers whom I was on a by name basis with. Tons of people that I already worked with at my old company are already in my new employers database by way of zoom info lists and importing though a CRM.
My former employer is hawking my linked in, seemingly waiting for me to update my new employer. Would this be an admittance of guilt if I update my linked in? As of right now they have rumors of where I'm working but no actual evidence.
Would this hold up in court if I was to get sued being that all of this information is available though google searches, zoominfo list and linked in sales navigator?
Is this something I should worry about? Am I just being paranoid? Thanks for any insight in advance.
submitted by DimensionWilling4 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
It was 5 years ago when I started and I did not know what it meant at the time, but I did sign an NDA about "trade secrets" I did not realize customers were considered trade secrets. (Duh I know)
I did not take a print out with me or anything. Simply what I had remembered in my head. Companies, names, a couple of emails. (First.last@soandso.com) And was able to get a hold of them though the main company phone number, LinkedIn ECT. (I worked with some of these customers for 3-5 years)
Coincidentally enough, the new company that I work for were actually the ones that my old company would outsource though and they would drop ship direct to the customer. (Refurbished computers). Meaning they had had the customers information in their database for over 2 years before I was hired. I would also like to add that I have had to give the customer an address to return the product that is to the competitor that I currently work for any either side could have have easily contacted each other (not sure if that matters)
The verbage on the NDA is as follows.
All **** property is required to be returned . This includes all hardware, as well as all other proprietary information.
lists of **** customers and their contact information, customer specefic data or hardware that may be proprietary to the company.
All of this info would be easily found for instance. Who is (insert company) IT director. Also these were customers whom I was on a by name basis with. Tons of people that I already worked with at my old company are already in my new employers database by way of zoom info lists and importing though a CRM.
My former employer is hawking my linked in, seemingly waiting for me to update my new employer. Would this be an admittance of guilt if I update my linked in? As of right now they have rumors of where I'm working but no actual evidence.
Would this hold up in court if I was to get sued being that all of this information is available though google searches, zoominfo list and linked in sales navigator?
Is this something I should worry about? Am I just being paranoid? Thanks for any insight in advance.
2024.06.11 06:41 Mysterious-Boot-4781 Numness lasting for days?
I've been getting aura migraines for last 2/3 years now and usually starts with my hands teeth and leg sometimes feeling numb on one side but goes away when heada he comes or shortly after it ends
But the whole right side of my body most noticeable is ny hands and ribs and feet have been numb for last 2 days now anyone have any experience with prolonged numbness after head pain is gone?
submitted by Mysterious-Boot-4781 to migraine [link] [comments]
But the whole right side of my body most noticeable is ny hands and ribs and feet have been numb for last 2 days now anyone have any experience with prolonged numbness after head pain is gone?
2024.06.11 06:41 ConsequenceSure3063 Best Garter Holsters
 | submitted by ConsequenceSure3063 to u/ConsequenceSure3063 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/xx24pi0cgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=facc91b86a1c8e43d711ea2614c3ebfff7e216af Welcome to our roundup of the best Garter Holsters available in the market today. This article is your go-to guide for finding the perfect garter holster that not only keeps your gun secure, but also adds a touch of class to your outfit. Join us as we explore the top options, discuss their features, and help you make an informed decision on which garter holster to choose. The Top 10 Best Garter Holsters
Reviews🔗Discreet and Comfortable IWB Holster for S&W Shield 45https://preview.redd.it/koox9wacgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd10b1df5ec1442acef313abb3ad96a731900ef6 The Klipt IWB Holster for S&W Shield 45 is a go-to choice for anyone looking for a reliable and comfortable concealed carry holster. I was drawn to its slim and unobtrusive design, which effortlessly conceals my firearm under a variety of clothing options. The built-in retention and positive lock trigger guard have given me a sense of security without having to adjust the fit constantly. Perhaps the most impressive feature, however, is the high sweat guard. This single extra addition has made an enormous difference in my overall comfort during daily wear. It prevents any discomfort from moisture or slide serrations, ensuring that I can wear this holster all day without the slightest irritation. Of course, no product is without its minor drawbacks. One notable downside is that the holster does have a bit of a learning curve when it comes to positioning. However, once you get a feel for its fit and placement, it becomes second nature. The material used in the holster could be slightly more robust for added longevity; as of now, I'm mindful of scuffing it during storage. Overall, the Klipt IWB Holster for S&W Shield 45 is a solid choice for those in the market for a concealed carry holster that offers an ideal balance of comfort, usability, and reliability. Don't get me wrong; it has its flaws, but these minor quibbles do little to detract from the overall quality and functionality of this holster. If you're looking for a discreet and secure way to carry your S&W Shield 45, this could well be the perfect addition to your arsenal. 🔗Plainclothes Speed Scabbard Holster for Concealed Carryhttps://preview.redd.it/p6s9zxocgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12911d498adf305194d71cef33fc4d7cb903436a When I first heard about the Desantis Speed Scabbard, I was intrigued by its design and functionality for plainclothes professionals. As a concealed carry holster enthusiast, I just had to give it a try. It truly delivered on its promises, providing excellent firearm retention without compromising on the draw speed. The open top design made for a quick and seamless draw, while the belt slots were spacious enough to accommodate different styles. The three-point belt attachment system allowed for both a straight up and forward draw, giving me the flexibility to choose my preferred method depending on the occasion. The tension screw device allowed for a secure and customizable fit, making this holster a perfect fit for my Beretta 92-A1. However, I did notice that the holster's weight might be an issue for some users, especially during long periods of wear. Additionally, the belt loops could be a bit tight for those with larger belts or those who prefer a looser fit. Despite these minor drawbacks, I found the overall design and construction of the Desantis Speed Scabbard to be highly impressive, and I'm confident it will meet the needs of any professional or enthusiast seeking a top-tier garter holster. 🔗Universal Adjustable Garter Holsters for Everyday Carryhttps://preview.redd.it/9i56uqycgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef7ddd3ec699244c5caf300dd90d4cdaba36661d ComfortTac gun holsters have been a game-changer in my daily life. As someone who appreciates a comfortable and reliable concealed carry solution, these belly band holsters have exceeded my expectations in both comfort and practicality. The wide variety of compatible firearm types is an excellent touch for those who own multiple handguns. The adjustable neoprene waistband is breathable and stretchy enough to accommodate a range of body types, which is a plus in my book. However, I did encounter a few inconveniences while using the ComfortTac holsters. One being the bulky size, which can be problematic when trying to remain inconspicuous. But the most significant drawback is the holster's tendency to shift around and sometimes ride up when engaged in strenuous activities or movements. Despite these minor drawbacks, I still trust these holsters to keep my firearm secure and hidden when needed. Overall, the ComfortTac gun holsters are a reliable and convenient option for those seeking a simple yet reliable solution for their daily carry. Though not perfect, I believe these holsters are an excellent choice for both men and women in search of a reliable, belly-band style concealed carry solution. 🔗Comfy Garter Holster for Secure Concealmenthttps://preview.redd.it/anq1nqcdgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c8aa3306119420a3a73852feebd98d92d3f25bc After trying this Quick-Clip Inside-the-Waistband Holster, I must say, it's a game changer! As someone who enjoys concealed carrying, the comfort is always top of the list when searching for the perfect holster. This holster truly delivers on that front. I especially appreciated the variety of colors and patterns available - not only were they visually pleasing, but they also made it easier for me to find the perfect match for my style. Plus, the different clip styles were a welcomed and versatile touch. Having had the opportunity to use the Ulticlip holster, I found it to be incredibly convenient. It works perfectly with lightweight summer shorts or skirts, and offers great concealment. The fact that it can be worn with jeans without a belt just adds to its versatility. However, I must mention that the retention might be a bit tighter than usual. But overall, I think it's a tradeoff that will get easier with time, especially considering the holster's durability and overall quality. Another minor drawback is the screws that come with the clips - they are a tad short for a specific setup. It's a fixable issue, but I would have appreciated it more if they were a little longer to begin with. Lastly, top-notch customer service really made a difference in my experience. The team was incredibly helpful and responsive when I reached out for some guidance with my purchase. The prompt shipping and the ability to customize my holster even down to the rivets made my experience so much more enjoyable. All in all, this Quick-Clip Inside-the-Waistband Holster has become my everyday option for concealed carry, thanks to its comfort, fit, and versatility. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone in search of a reliable, stylish, and comfortable holster. I give this holster a big thumbs up! 🔗ComfortTac Belly Band Holster - Right Hand Draw, Size Regular, Blackhttps://preview.redd.it/dpakm6pdgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76b9714c2504f00232c839912c1cf8e67d113f1b In recent times, concealed carry has become a priority for many individuals, and one of the most essential accessories to ensure concealment is a good holster. The Comfort Tac Ultimate Belly Band Holster has left a lasting impression on the market, with 6987 satisfied customers and a 4.4-star rating. The company that manufactures this highly sought-after holster takes pride in being the best-selling gun holster on the market. The Comfort Tac has made a name for itself thanks to the innovative design that allows users to draw their gun in a single, smooth motion, thereby reducing the need to build muscle memory. This holster is available in 3 sizes, providing a custom fit for everyone. The Comfort Tac holster has been hailed as one of the most functional belly band holsters on the market, enabling users to conceal with ease. Features such as a built-in pocket, elastic holster, removable pouch, and retention strap with a comfortable neoprene band make it versatile and a top choice for protection enthusiasts. Having had the pleasure of using the Comfort Tac Ultimate Belly Band Holster, I must say it's an impressive product. It fits comfortably around the waist, providing the necessary support needed to secure the holster in place. The neoprene band is both comfortable and breathable, a feature that sets it apart from other holsters, while the built-in pocket and pouch offer an added convenience. The elastic holster, in particular, stands out, allowing for a snug and secure fit that keeps the gun in place and prevents it from falling. However, as with any other product, the Comfort Tac holster has its own set of drawbacks. One issue I've encountered is the snugness of the holster around the gun. While it keeps the gun secure, it can be a bit challenging to remove the gun from the holster without causing some wear and tear on the holster itself. The additional weight from carrying a concealed firearm can also take a toll on the holster over time, requiring users to replace it periodically. Ultimately, the Comfort Tac Ultimate Belly Band Holster is a solid choice for individuals who prioritize concealment and are looking for a reliable, comfortable, and functional holster to support their concealed carry lifestyle. While it's not without its flaws, the pros far outweigh the cons, making it a top contender for the best belly band holster on the market. 🔗High-Quality Law Enforcement Garter Holster for S&W M&P Shield 9/40https://preview.redd.it/ktl7z28egv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdca7cf184203c1180e7a7572b51df35f7f2cce8 The Galco Stinger Belt Holster is a staple in the world of firearms accessories. I first heard of this holster through a friend who raved about its reliability and concealability. When I finally got my hands on one, I was impressed by its construction. The premium saddle leather used ensures a comfortable and secure fit, while the open top design allows for easy holstering and reholstering. The garter holster system allows for an exceptional fit, fitting belts up to 1-1/2" wide. Despite its robust build and innovative design, I couldn't help but notice a slight drawback—the forward cant position might not be the most comfortable for everyone, depending on their body type and preference. Overall, the Galco Stinger Belt Holster lives up to its reputation as a top-quality product, with its blend of superior materials, ergonomics, and unmatched concealability. It's no wonder it's trusted by law enforcement personnel, military, and everyday citizens alike. 🔗Custom Kydex OWB Holster for Staccato C2 Left Handhttps://preview.redd.it/exx8j0qegv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7bcddc08add236187dfa55c225d54de8ffceecf When it comes to carrying a Staccato C2 as an everyday sidearm, it's hard to find the perfect fit. That was until I stumbled upon the C&G Holsters Covert OWB Belt Holster. Known for its Kydex design and custom craftsmanship, this holster is the real deal. The first thing I noticed about this holster is its impressive fit. It's tailored to the Staccato C2 like a glove, ensuring that the gun sits securely in place without any movement. The adjustable belt loops add an extra layer of convenience, allowing me to easily customize the holster's position on my waist. Not only does the Covert OWB Belt Holster look great with its sleek black finish, but it also feels comfortable to wear all day long. The tall sight channel accommodates a variety of sights, including suppressor height, and the solid locking retention mechanism provides an audible and tactile "click" when the holster is securely fastened. Despite its many pros, the holster does have a couple of drawbacks. For one, the attachment to the belt might not be as tight as preferred by some users, causing the holster to slip slightly when drawing the firearm. Additionally, the holster is not suitable for use with Trijicon SRO sights, so be mindful of that if you're considering purchasing this model. Overall, the C&G Holsters Covert OWB Belt Holster is a high-quality option for Staccato C2 owners. It offers a comfortable and secure fit, as well as the added convenience of adjustable belt loops. With its top-notch craftsmanship and attention to detail, this holster is definitely worth the investment. 🔗Versatile ComfortTac Universal Belly Band Holster for Firearmshttps://preview.redd.it/2mbhjlvegv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12e50b7462fc5ec5633fba1eb555b8c123ec5283 I've been using the ComfortTac Ultimate Belly Band Holster for a few months now, and I must say it's a game-changer. With its universal holster design, it's compatible with a wide range of firearms, including my favorite Glock 27. The first thing that stood out to me is how comfortable it is - the neoprene band hugs my waist without feeling too tight or too loose, and the breathable fabric keeps me from breaking out in a sweat when I'm out and about. One of the best features is the built-in pocket, which allows me to store my ID, a few bucks, and even a small knife when I'm heading out for the day. The retention strap ensures my gun stays securely in place during movements, while the elastic holster makes it easy to draw my weapon when I need it. However, there are a couple of things I wish were different. The snap closure can be a bit tricky to secure, especially when I'm wearing bulky clothes, and the retention strap could use an upgrade to hold smaller guns more securely. But overall, the ComfortTac Ultimate Belly Band Holster has made my everyday carry experience so much more comfortable and convenient, and I'm glad I made the switch. 🔗Efficient OWB Basic Neutral Cant Garter Holsterhttps://preview.redd.it/axrore6fgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12592510a30a3f6ec48851f992e293f08b40604b Desantis' E-Gat Slide is a reliable holster perfect for gun enthusiasts looking to keep their firearms close, yet concealed. I found it to be an ideal choice for both strong side and cross draw, making it incredibly versatile. The leather quality is impressive, and it sits high and tight against the body to improve concealment. Unfortunately, the holster is only available in black, which could be limiting for those who prefer a different color. Additionally, the neutral cant may not suit everyone's preferences depending on their gun models and shooting styles. However, overall, the E-Gat Slide is a solid option for anyone in search of a simple, well-crafted holster that offers versatility and comfort. 🔗Beretta M9/92FS Kydex Magazine Carrier for Concealed Carry Adjustable Retention and Canthttps://preview.redd.it/ba0k96kfgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c7e5c547b72504286219a8a834e1c8643cd5bce Recently, I had the chance to try out the Beretta M9/92FS Kydex Concealed Carry IWB Magazine CarrieHolster by We The People Holsters. With its adjustable red carbon fiber design, this mag holder proved to be a reliable companion for my daily carry needs. The magazine carrier's lightweight yet durable build, made from. 08-inch KYDEX, stood out to me right from the start. It's the type of product that adds just a touch of weight but still manages to stay firm no matter how challenging the situation gets. One of the features that stood out in my experience was the ability to adjust the retention pressure and carry angle. This made it incredibly easy to wear the mag carrier comfortably and securely. With its low profile, it didn't feel bulky or cumbersome, either. The multiple height adjustments and up to 50° of cant adjustment options ensured a perfect fit and optimal concealment. Overall, I found the Beretta M9/92FS Kydex Concealed Carry IWB Magazine CarrieHolster to be an exceptional product. It provided a great balance between comfort, protection, and convenience, and it made my daily carry routine much smoother. However, it's worth mentioning that some users may find the fit to be a bit snug, especially when using alternate hand configurations. Nonetheless, this issue can easily be overcome with slight adjustments, and it certainly didn't detract from the overall enjoyment of using this product. Buyer's GuideA garter holster is a type of holster that securely attaches to a person's leg, providing a concealed carry solution. These holsters often feature adjustable straps, allowing users to find the perfect fit and keep their firearm in place during various activities. Garter holsters can be a great option for those who prefer a more discreet method of carrying a firearm. https://preview.redd.it/c0jevswfgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9106d6794a0a1791a5b4814c19f3579d37221391 Important Features to Consider
Factors to Take into Account
https://preview.redd.it/nh0h1qhggv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b22539275d81b9e30436a3a3750fe8690c4f6a88 General Advice for Choosing a Garter HolsterBefore making a purchase, try on several different models to find the best fit and feel for your body. Remember, comfort is key when carrying a firearm, so choose a holster that is easy to wear and adjust. Make sure to follow all manufacturer instructions for proper use and maintenance to ensure the longevity of the holster. Lastly, always check local laws and regulations to ensure that you are in compliance with concealed carry laws in your area.FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/fkoit5wggv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b8694b96b87235011367be14ace84c812211616 What are Garter Holsters?Garter Holsters are holsters that attach to a woman's garter belt, allowing her to discreetly and securely carry a concealed weapon. These holsters offer a convenient alternative to traditional belt holsters and provide a fashionable way to carry a weapon.Are Garter Holsters safe to use?Yes, Garter Holsters are safe to use if you follow the manufacturer's instructions for proper placement and securing the weapon. They are designed to ensure that the weapon stays securely in place while the user goes about their daily activities. https://preview.redd.it/s5viuc7hgv5d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbb11e7f770241abca726def82f08b806f7bb6c9 How do Garter Holsters work?Garter Holsters typically attach to the garter belt using a durable, adjustable strap. You can adjust the position of the holster to ensure that it's comfortable and secure. Once the weapon is inserted into the holster, it will be held in place by the strap and the belt itself.What types of weapons can be carried in a Garter Holster?Garter Holsters can accommodate a wide range of weapons, including small handguns, pepper spray, and even a knife. Make sure to check the manufacturer's specifications to ensure that the holster is compatible with the type of weapon you wish to carry.What materials are Garter Holsters made of?Garter Holsters can be made from a variety of materials, including leather, nylon, or a combination of both. These materials are chosen for their durability and ability to withstand regular wear and tear.Do Garter Holsters come in different colors and styles?Yes, Garter Holsters come in a variety of colors and styles to match your personal preferences and wardrobe. Some are designed to blend in with your clothing, while others feature more distinctive patterns or embellishments.How do I clean and care for my Garter Holster?To clean and care for your Garter Holster, carefully remove any debris or residue using a soft-bristled brush or cloth. Avoid using water or cleaning solutions that could damage the holster's materials or finish. Store your Garter Holster in a cool, dry place when not in use to help maintain its quality and shape.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.06.11 06:40 androgynousmayflower wrote a poem about self harm and a toxic qpp/squish. did I do okay ? it's called blackberry
Leave the curtains closed everyday
Walking in circles, I forget your name
All the crickets are out tonight
And the forest lights up with fireflies
Moonlight shines in our area
All of the doors and windows are shut tight
I've waited a millenia
Flowers look me in the eyes when I cry
Its wrong to want pain beautified
now im binge eating by the windowpane
My world is torn; yours is the same
but I care
about you even when you give me splinters
made the bed, you're saying all of my triggers
blackberry thorns peirce the tips of my fingers
The juice stains my hands and runs like a river
should be dead, but why does my mind still linger?
cooling air
circling around each curly strand of hair
on my head, stumbling across, i'm not aware
fair and square are tundra hares and polar bears
dont go there, my clothes protects a violetear
in my head, I don't want you to bring me there
don't go there
And everyday you would ring my heart dry
I didn't wanna say goodbye
But I hate you more than i ever knew
And everything that you would do
all I wanted was an apology
the feeling would be heavenly
it doesn't need to be of quality
cut my arms over and over
Please give me the liberty of closure
Clouds sheilding me from the sun rays
The sun I need to live another day
Your mannerisms are refined
I want to rip up the contract you signed
feel you have dacryphilia
no other reason you stay by my side
just ignore my hysteria
like you brush off everything I write
you burn me with pieces of ice
4 years contributing to my migraine
You're sickly sweet like sugarcane
promises
you always made me feel imaginary
I told you my wounds healed but trauma varies
when did we ever read at the library?
my sadness tastes just like bitter blackberries
rent is due, but now your pockets are empty
reminisce
my baby just doesn't get what the point is
run away, i'm under the water lenses
your highness, i wonder am i that precious?
clear diamonds capture my lonely resentment
angelic, another lie and obvious
my roses
And everyday you would ring my heart dry
I didn't wanna say goodbye
But I hate you more than i ever knew
And everything that you would do
all I wanted was an apology
the feeling would be heavenly
it doesn't need to be of quality
cut my arms over and over
Please give me the liberty of closure
Please lend me your four leafed clover
From my outlet, unplug your controller
lean over and slump my shoulders
and some way I'm keeping my composure
I don't wanna argue with you
and some day I hope my heart will renew
I wish that you could be my friend
but I'm afraid that this might be the end
submitted by androgynousmayflower to MadeOfStyrofoam [link] [comments]
Walking in circles, I forget your name
All the crickets are out tonight
And the forest lights up with fireflies
Moonlight shines in our area
All of the doors and windows are shut tight
I've waited a millenia
Flowers look me in the eyes when I cry
Its wrong to want pain beautified
now im binge eating by the windowpane
My world is torn; yours is the same
but I care
about you even when you give me splinters
made the bed, you're saying all of my triggers
blackberry thorns peirce the tips of my fingers
The juice stains my hands and runs like a river
should be dead, but why does my mind still linger?
cooling air
circling around each curly strand of hair
on my head, stumbling across, i'm not aware
fair and square are tundra hares and polar bears
dont go there, my clothes protects a violetear
in my head, I don't want you to bring me there
don't go there
And everyday you would ring my heart dry
I didn't wanna say goodbye
But I hate you more than i ever knew
And everything that you would do
all I wanted was an apology
the feeling would be heavenly
it doesn't need to be of quality
cut my arms over and over
Please give me the liberty of closure
Clouds sheilding me from the sun rays
The sun I need to live another day
Your mannerisms are refined
I want to rip up the contract you signed
feel you have dacryphilia
no other reason you stay by my side
just ignore my hysteria
like you brush off everything I write
you burn me with pieces of ice
4 years contributing to my migraine
You're sickly sweet like sugarcane
promises
you always made me feel imaginary
I told you my wounds healed but trauma varies
when did we ever read at the library?
my sadness tastes just like bitter blackberries
rent is due, but now your pockets are empty
reminisce
my baby just doesn't get what the point is
run away, i'm under the water lenses
your highness, i wonder am i that precious?
clear diamonds capture my lonely resentment
angelic, another lie and obvious
my roses
And everyday you would ring my heart dry
I didn't wanna say goodbye
But I hate you more than i ever knew
And everything that you would do
all I wanted was an apology
the feeling would be heavenly
it doesn't need to be of quality
cut my arms over and over
Please give me the liberty of closure
Please lend me your four leafed clover
From my outlet, unplug your controller
lean over and slump my shoulders
and some way I'm keeping my composure
I don't wanna argue with you
and some day I hope my heart will renew
I wish that you could be my friend
but I'm afraid that this might be the end
2024.06.11 06:39 uglybeast19 Should I be worried?
I'm 32M, 5'5", 60Kgs, African, and I've been experiencing persistent stomachaches after running, sometimes lasting throughout the whole day, then I get so tired that I can't do anything productive for the rest of the day.
My friends told me it was probably stress due to some other unrelated events happening in my life. They advised me to skip a day between my runs since I was running daily. This helped a bit, but the pain has started to come back and I haven't changed my routine at all.
For the last one week, there's been a lot of pain on the right side of my lower abdomen, which I thought was just stitch because it happened while I was running, but one week later it hasn't gone away. It's more severe when I sit down. And sometimes when I lay on my sides, I feel like I'm sleeping on a tennis ball or a rock. So much discomfort.
Should I be worried? I also don't drink or smoke. I've only just started to experience this from Jan this year. I've always been exercising throughout the years and never experienced this level of discomfort.
submitted by uglybeast19 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
My friends told me it was probably stress due to some other unrelated events happening in my life. They advised me to skip a day between my runs since I was running daily. This helped a bit, but the pain has started to come back and I haven't changed my routine at all.
For the last one week, there's been a lot of pain on the right side of my lower abdomen, which I thought was just stitch because it happened while I was running, but one week later it hasn't gone away. It's more severe when I sit down. And sometimes when I lay on my sides, I feel like I'm sleeping on a tennis ball or a rock. So much discomfort.
Should I be worried? I also don't drink or smoke. I've only just started to experience this from Jan this year. I've always been exercising throughout the years and never experienced this level of discomfort.
2024.06.11 06:38 Unhinged-Pickle17 in the Australian alpine region, horrific things happen after dark.
The Australian alpine region, a beautiful part of Australia, which is in both the New South Wales and Victoria states. It's home to the highest mountain in the country, Mount Kosciuszko. As beautiful as this region is, nobody ever ventures there after dark. I learned the hard way as to why.
I was driving in my car, with a friend, who I will call Kate. We were driving through there, near Mount Beauty, Victoria. We had our lights on, and it was an eerie sight, just driving through the mountains, with a pitch black forest on both side. It was awfully quiet. It was actually terrifying, so I put on my Spotify playlist to make it less creepy. We were singing along to 90's classic songs.
Surely this cant be ruined, right? Wrong.
Just as we were singing along to songs from Radiohead, it was cut short by a blood curdling scream. It sounded like a woman in pain. Kate and I immediately pulled over to the side of the road, so we could see if someone was in danger. When we got out of the car, we heard this woman scream "HELP". Immediately, something felt off, I said to Kate "lets get out of here, something isn't sitting right with me at all". Kate was adamant that we find the woman and help her. We ventured into the forest, and we went pretty far. We thought we had found the woman, as we were just able to make out someone on the ground, sitting.
I looked a bit closer. I realized, this thing was NOT human. I watched as whatever this godforsaken beast was, turned around to look at us. It let out a blood curdling scream, and immediately got up and got on all fours, and started racing towards us. I had ran and hid, but unfortunately, Kate wasn't so lucky. The creature had pounced on her and ate her. I lay down, pretending to be dead, while I heard Kate's last scream, as she was being devoured by whatever this was.
I tried not to throw up as I heard the creature chomping down on her body. I could smell this creature from where I was laying down, pretending to be dead. It smelled strong, putrid, rotten. Like rotting flesh, with a little bit of sewage water. I'm not sure where this creature had been before, but it was bad news. I heard the creature searching for me in the bushes. Luckily, it did not. Once the creature had gone back into the woods, I quietly got up and made a swift sprint for the car. I made it back into my car, and immediately sped out of there. I had went to a motel in Mount Beauty, so I could stay somewhere for the rest of the night. I could not sleep at all. I kept wondering if that was a skinwalker, a bunyip, a yowie, a wendigo, or some other cryptid I have no idea about. I absolutely REFUSED to drive at night from that point on.
Now, I have moved into an apartment in Melbourne, right in the heart of the city. I am going through therapy, and am seeking all forms of therapy, and psychology.
The only thing that I can rest assured about, is that I am safe in the heart of the city, far, far away, from the alpine region.
Let this be a reminder, that if you are in Australia and choose to visit the alpine region, please do not be there in any way or form after dark, or you risk being some creature's next meal.
submitted by Unhinged-Pickle17 to nosleep [link] [comments]
I was driving in my car, with a friend, who I will call Kate. We were driving through there, near Mount Beauty, Victoria. We had our lights on, and it was an eerie sight, just driving through the mountains, with a pitch black forest on both side. It was awfully quiet. It was actually terrifying, so I put on my Spotify playlist to make it less creepy. We were singing along to 90's classic songs.
Surely this cant be ruined, right? Wrong.
Just as we were singing along to songs from Radiohead, it was cut short by a blood curdling scream. It sounded like a woman in pain. Kate and I immediately pulled over to the side of the road, so we could see if someone was in danger. When we got out of the car, we heard this woman scream "HELP". Immediately, something felt off, I said to Kate "lets get out of here, something isn't sitting right with me at all". Kate was adamant that we find the woman and help her. We ventured into the forest, and we went pretty far. We thought we had found the woman, as we were just able to make out someone on the ground, sitting.
I looked a bit closer. I realized, this thing was NOT human. I watched as whatever this godforsaken beast was, turned around to look at us. It let out a blood curdling scream, and immediately got up and got on all fours, and started racing towards us. I had ran and hid, but unfortunately, Kate wasn't so lucky. The creature had pounced on her and ate her. I lay down, pretending to be dead, while I heard Kate's last scream, as she was being devoured by whatever this was.
I tried not to throw up as I heard the creature chomping down on her body. I could smell this creature from where I was laying down, pretending to be dead. It smelled strong, putrid, rotten. Like rotting flesh, with a little bit of sewage water. I'm not sure where this creature had been before, but it was bad news. I heard the creature searching for me in the bushes. Luckily, it did not. Once the creature had gone back into the woods, I quietly got up and made a swift sprint for the car. I made it back into my car, and immediately sped out of there. I had went to a motel in Mount Beauty, so I could stay somewhere for the rest of the night. I could not sleep at all. I kept wondering if that was a skinwalker, a bunyip, a yowie, a wendigo, or some other cryptid I have no idea about. I absolutely REFUSED to drive at night from that point on.
Now, I have moved into an apartment in Melbourne, right in the heart of the city. I am going through therapy, and am seeking all forms of therapy, and psychology.
The only thing that I can rest assured about, is that I am safe in the heart of the city, far, far away, from the alpine region.
Let this be a reminder, that if you are in Australia and choose to visit the alpine region, please do not be there in any way or form after dark, or you risk being some creature's next meal.
2024.06.11 06:38 fatwhale5 Question about Aiming with your Fingers [Ron Rambo Kim]
This is a drill Ron Rambo Kim talked about in one of his videos that is supposed to improve precise micro adjustments (I linked the video down below with the timestamp), but I'll sum it up here as well:
step 1: do a fast flick to the target that lands relatively close to the target
step 2: correct the initial flick to the target's head using just your fingers, but without having a pause between step 1 and step 2 (keyword: one continuous motion)
step 3: wiggle your crosshair on the target's head using just your fingers for 1second, then shoot.
My problem: I have no problems with step 1 or step 3 (I can wiggle just fine), but lets presume your crosshair lands about 1 to 2 head-sizes next to your enemies head on the x-axis. How are you supposed to initiate that horizontal movement out of your fingers without using your wrist? I read that the fingers are good for vertical adjustments, which I can do perfectly well, but on the horizontal level not so much, even after using a very fast sens.
Basically, to move my crosshair a tiny bit to the left I will put pressure on my mouse by tensing or trying to push my pinky and ring finger inwards, and in order to move my crosshair a tiny bit to the right I would tense my thumb or move it inwards. (It just feels like im tensing my fingers when doing that).
Can anyone tell me if there is a way to know if I'm doing this correctly, or am I on my own on this one? The way I'm doing it doesn't feel that helpful for my micros.
Or perhaps alternatively (but unlikely): is Ron Rambo Kim wrong in this video and fingers are only used for vertical adjustments and you use your wrist for horizontal adjustments, no matter how small the distance might be?
https://youtu.be/ixlgtyeW1go?t=58
submitted by fatwhale5 to FPSAimTrainer [link] [comments]
step 1: do a fast flick to the target that lands relatively close to the target
step 2: correct the initial flick to the target's head using just your fingers, but without having a pause between step 1 and step 2 (keyword: one continuous motion)
step 3: wiggle your crosshair on the target's head using just your fingers for 1second, then shoot.
My problem: I have no problems with step 1 or step 3 (I can wiggle just fine), but lets presume your crosshair lands about 1 to 2 head-sizes next to your enemies head on the x-axis. How are you supposed to initiate that horizontal movement out of your fingers without using your wrist? I read that the fingers are good for vertical adjustments, which I can do perfectly well, but on the horizontal level not so much, even after using a very fast sens.
Basically, to move my crosshair a tiny bit to the left I will put pressure on my mouse by tensing or trying to push my pinky and ring finger inwards, and in order to move my crosshair a tiny bit to the right I would tense my thumb or move it inwards. (It just feels like im tensing my fingers when doing that).
Can anyone tell me if there is a way to know if I'm doing this correctly, or am I on my own on this one? The way I'm doing it doesn't feel that helpful for my micros.
Or perhaps alternatively (but unlikely): is Ron Rambo Kim wrong in this video and fingers are only used for vertical adjustments and you use your wrist for horizontal adjustments, no matter how small the distance might be?
https://youtu.be/ixlgtyeW1go?t=58
2024.06.11 06:37 jemsam19 31 year old male very healthy/ active- for the past year only the right side of my body is freezing cold all the time like i have frost bite not just my hands or feet my arms and legs. My left side is fine. Also on the right side of my head i feel pressure 247.
31 year old male very healthy/ active- for the past year only the right side of my body is freezing cold all the time like i have frost bite not just my hands or feet my arms and legs. My left side is fine. Also on the right side of my head i feel pressure 247. I live in the south, even in 90+ degree heat i still have to keep my arms and legs covered. seen three different neurologists. Gotten an MRI twice on my head and neck. No one can seem to find what’s wrong. They keep trying to put me on different medication. None work. I don’t want medication. I want to figure out why I’m feeling this way. It’s not normal. Any advice would be helpful.
submitted by jemsam19 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
2024.06.11 06:32 lolfreng Can STD cause lower abdominal pain?
Hi all,
I’m kind of at a loss. The only tests I haven’t done yet are the blood draw for HIV, Syphilis, and the Heps. Everything else so far is negative.
On Feb 10th I had a hookup from grindr (both males). There was only a little bit of anal penetration (from both of us) and we wore condoms. There was no fluid swapping at all as we both finished by jerking off. This was my first time bottoming, and I stopped it relatively quickly because it was painful. We were not planning on sex, and there was no prep work, lots of lube though.
Anyways, I walked away unworried about STDs. I was a little sore but nothing out of the ordinary. And then 3 or 4 days later I woke up to a beating/pulsing in my left abdomen/groin/pelvis. Like where your v-line of your abs would be.
That was followed by some constipation and gas. Since then I have had on and off pain in that area, and pressure, pulsing, constipation, gas and trapped gas. The pain shoots up the left side of my stomach, and across the right sometimes. Gurgling, bloating, etc.
I started taking fiber, and other stuff to help digestion and it seems to help temporarily. Still, when I lean forward or have my leg bent at the hip or lean on my left side/leg I get the pulsing.
When I eat I get bloated, and the sharp pain shoots up my left abdomen.
I’ve gone to the doctor twice now, and they don’t seem to be concerned. Since I tested for the usual pelvis pain STD’s and because we used condoms they don’t think it’s an STD.
They think it’s constipation, but it’s been going for 2 weeks, and I AM having bowel movements (much less than usual). They suggested miralax. Which I started yesterday, and it has helped. In fact I thought I was getting better. And then I went for a jog for the first time since this started and the pain came back HARD. Especially sharp pain up my left side. It was relieved after relaxing.
I just feel like it has to be an infection, because can constipation last for 2 weeks even when I am having bowel movements?
Does this sound like an STD? Syphilis maybe? Did I seriously destroy my insides? Cause a hernia? Bowel obstruction?
As some notes: there’s no blood in the stool. I got tested for chlamydia, ghonorrea, UTI, and also tested my stool for all common forms of bacteria (campylobacter, e coli, giardia, etc). All negative. I was gonna do the STD blood draw tests at 4 weeks. I’ve been constipated before but never this bad.
Any ideas?
Edit: they said if the pain gets worse or lasts more than 3 weeks to go to the ER for a CT of the area.
Edit: something else I should add is that when I do pass gas or a bowel movement it feels like my rectum is clogged or full and stuck.
Update: it was a LOT of poop. He said I was extremely backed up. Like TONS of poop. Got a fat bill for a ton of poop
submitted by lolfreng to STDFacts [link] [comments]
I’m kind of at a loss. The only tests I haven’t done yet are the blood draw for HIV, Syphilis, and the Heps. Everything else so far is negative.
On Feb 10th I had a hookup from grindr (both males). There was only a little bit of anal penetration (from both of us) and we wore condoms. There was no fluid swapping at all as we both finished by jerking off. This was my first time bottoming, and I stopped it relatively quickly because it was painful. We were not planning on sex, and there was no prep work, lots of lube though.
Anyways, I walked away unworried about STDs. I was a little sore but nothing out of the ordinary. And then 3 or 4 days later I woke up to a beating/pulsing in my left abdomen/groin/pelvis. Like where your v-line of your abs would be.
That was followed by some constipation and gas. Since then I have had on and off pain in that area, and pressure, pulsing, constipation, gas and trapped gas. The pain shoots up the left side of my stomach, and across the right sometimes. Gurgling, bloating, etc.
I started taking fiber, and other stuff to help digestion and it seems to help temporarily. Still, when I lean forward or have my leg bent at the hip or lean on my left side/leg I get the pulsing.
When I eat I get bloated, and the sharp pain shoots up my left abdomen.
I’ve gone to the doctor twice now, and they don’t seem to be concerned. Since I tested for the usual pelvis pain STD’s and because we used condoms they don’t think it’s an STD.
They think it’s constipation, but it’s been going for 2 weeks, and I AM having bowel movements (much less than usual). They suggested miralax. Which I started yesterday, and it has helped. In fact I thought I was getting better. And then I went for a jog for the first time since this started and the pain came back HARD. Especially sharp pain up my left side. It was relieved after relaxing.
I just feel like it has to be an infection, because can constipation last for 2 weeks even when I am having bowel movements?
Does this sound like an STD? Syphilis maybe? Did I seriously destroy my insides? Cause a hernia? Bowel obstruction?
As some notes: there’s no blood in the stool. I got tested for chlamydia, ghonorrea, UTI, and also tested my stool for all common forms of bacteria (campylobacter, e coli, giardia, etc). All negative. I was gonna do the STD blood draw tests at 4 weeks. I’ve been constipated before but never this bad.
Any ideas?
Edit: they said if the pain gets worse or lasts more than 3 weeks to go to the ER for a CT of the area.
Edit: something else I should add is that when I do pass gas or a bowel movement it feels like my rectum is clogged or full and stuck.
Update: it was a LOT of poop. He said I was extremely backed up. Like TONS of poop. Got a fat bill for a ton of poop
2024.06.11 06:27 MCFreddyonMTV Looking for tips on getting over driving anxiety after being involved in a crash
Hello, I am new to this subreddit and as the title implies in my senior year of high school I was involved in a minor fender bender just outside of my school to where I was completetly at fault. I was at a stop light was focused on putting a song on the bluetooth on my phone not realising that i let my foot off the brake pedal and collided with the car infront of me at the stop light. Luckily the girl's car I hit was a friend of mine and there were minimul damages and she as more than okay, but mixed with a lot of other stuff that happened that day at school and not informing my parents of the crash till later in the day, I got my keys taken away and my car was sold to family friends. I haven't driven ever since, and its been almost 2 years since the incident happened. I am 20 years old now and my parents recently moved to New Zealand, which is where I am currently for the summer before I come back to the states for University. My mother insists on me getting behind the wheel again so I can drive her car and run errands and pick my brother up from school while she is at work, but I have a mental block in my head now that I can't get out. First off, driving on the other side of the road is already a stressor for me, but the past crash also fills me with anxiety with being behind the wheel again. The shock of the hit is a feeling I never want to experience ever again and the consequences afterwards where the starting point for a very dark period in my life that left a stain on my senior year. I use to love driving and getting behind the wheel was exciting for me, but after that crash and not driving for a while the anxiety set in and now I am paranoid to drive. I was wondering if anyone has ay tips or experiences in what I am talking about. I wanna be able to drive for my mom, but driving requires a clear head and I dont have that right now, and with my brother being in the backseat I more than ever need to be fully comfortable and ready to opperate a vehicle. Thanks.
submitted by MCFreddyonMTV to driving [link] [comments]
2024.06.11 06:26 AndrewCelaya Recovered From Emotionally Abusive Relationship
I’m not one to talk about my private life. I rarely post on social media. I consider myself a private person. But I want to get something off my chest. I am proud of myself and want to share this story.
An emotionally abusive relationship I was in for nearly 2 years ended 4 months ago.
The insidious thing with about abusive relationship: the abuse seldom starts in the beginning. But it eventually shows up, and it will get worse. It’s easy to ignore red flags if you are infatuated or in love. It’s easy to fool yourself that someone can change, that the yelling and the emotional abuse is a one-off instance. But when a pattern presents itself, it probably won’t change.
Being in an abusive emotionally relationship is truly terrible. It affects all aspects of your life. You lose confidence in yourself. You can’t focus. You can’t enjoy life anymore because you are being consumed by the fear of not wanting to mess up. You convince yourself you are happy because you are in ‘love’ and in a ‘happy relationship’. You convince yourself that things will get better, that relationship take work. It can be hard to walk away or end it because you still care for the person you fell in love with. The person that you met before you saw the abusive side.
The last thing she told me, aside from saying I was pathetic and lacked self-respect for staying with her, was that she wished my family died and that nothing would ever go right in my life.
After a few weeks of confusion and pain, it just clicked…I no longer had this shadow of fear hanging over me. I was more focused, more driven than I’ve been in years.
Everything went right beyond my wildest dreams. I found myself traveling and enjoying life. I found myself comfortable doing things by myself. I have reached new maximums in the gym. I have been sober for 110 days. Professionally, I was given two awards in the past 4 months. Additionally, my supervisors recommended me for a postion in Washington DC. I was admitted to a masters degree program at my undergraduate alma mater, a school that I love. My employer is covering the cost of my education with a promotion being given upon my graduation.
For the first time in years, I am looking to the future with confidence and resolve.
For the first time in years, I am truly happy and proud of myself.
submitted by AndrewCelaya to offmychest [link] [comments]
An emotionally abusive relationship I was in for nearly 2 years ended 4 months ago.
The insidious thing with about abusive relationship: the abuse seldom starts in the beginning. But it eventually shows up, and it will get worse. It’s easy to ignore red flags if you are infatuated or in love. It’s easy to fool yourself that someone can change, that the yelling and the emotional abuse is a one-off instance. But when a pattern presents itself, it probably won’t change.
Being in an abusive emotionally relationship is truly terrible. It affects all aspects of your life. You lose confidence in yourself. You can’t focus. You can’t enjoy life anymore because you are being consumed by the fear of not wanting to mess up. You convince yourself you are happy because you are in ‘love’ and in a ‘happy relationship’. You convince yourself that things will get better, that relationship take work. It can be hard to walk away or end it because you still care for the person you fell in love with. The person that you met before you saw the abusive side.
The last thing she told me, aside from saying I was pathetic and lacked self-respect for staying with her, was that she wished my family died and that nothing would ever go right in my life.
After a few weeks of confusion and pain, it just clicked…I no longer had this shadow of fear hanging over me. I was more focused, more driven than I’ve been in years.
Everything went right beyond my wildest dreams. I found myself traveling and enjoying life. I found myself comfortable doing things by myself. I have reached new maximums in the gym. I have been sober for 110 days. Professionally, I was given two awards in the past 4 months. Additionally, my supervisors recommended me for a postion in Washington DC. I was admitted to a masters degree program at my undergraduate alma mater, a school that I love. My employer is covering the cost of my education with a promotion being given upon my graduation.
For the first time in years, I am looking to the future with confidence and resolve.
For the first time in years, I am truly happy and proud of myself.
2024.06.11 06:26 money4me247 4bil in solo raid (9 month account), thoughts for min-maxing
 | https://preview.redd.it/lt5v4e4aev5d1.png?width=789&format=png&auto=webp&s=a2bdca3ee0ce23b73136f8074fb9af8f1d73d463 submitted by money4me247 to NikkeOutpost [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/6c1ht92bev5d1.png?width=535&format=png&auto=webp&s=293f558f990cfe1776d9f51809bee26648fdc0a7 This is a spender account, started during right before Nier (so around ~9month account). Only spending on pulls (no skill mats or rocks or gear selectors). Been scoring top 3% since nilhilister raid. Looks like this raid will need around 3.9-4 bil to clear top 3% since there isn't really any really difficult instant teamwipe early in the fight.
Skill priority: crown team then schoolgirl team then bunny team. Skill priority for DPS: RH/modernia (for story) to SBS to Alice to Drunk Scarlet (for PvP) to Maxwell/x-ludmilla to dorothy/free privaty (and will do S-anis next when she reruns). OL gear priority for meta DPS raiders and lvl 5/5 helmet/arms + set of swappable MF gear at 5/5/5 helmet/arm/chest for attackers on the lower tier teams. |
2024.06.11 06:26 ItisYeHampster A Planet Dyed Sallow
[UGAST: 1635 (Day 1) In Orbit of Planet Orthelion- llX]
“Our scanners haven’t picked up any life Captain. It appears we were too late.” Captain Hullard remained standing in place, silently staring out at the planet.
“Klein.”
“Yes Captain?” Came the formal retort.
“Prepare a landing party. I want them geared up, armed, and ready by 1700.”
“Right away Captain.” A pause. “Who will you send as command?” The question hung in the command deck for a moment before the Captain turned, facing his crew.
“I will take lead on this.”
“Of course Captain.” The First Officer opened a com channel and issued the orders to the lower decks. A short reply was given, confirming the orders. “Reconnaissance will be ready to drop planet side by 1700.”
“Thank you Klein.” The Captain walked from the view deck, past his seat, and towards the lift. “In the mean time First Officer Klein assumes command until my return.” With a press of a button Captain Hullard was descending to the lower decks.
[UGAST: 1638]
With a whir the lift doors opened and Hullard headed towards the launch bay. Though almost everyone knew who the Captain of this vessel was, he was no saint. A hardened military man through and through. One that followed the rules to the letter and held everyone under his command to that same standard.
Standing at just above 190cm, weighing an impressive 105kg, he was an imposing figure. Broad shoulders and arms that seemed to stretch his uniform in every direction. Onyx colored eyes and a full brown beard that showed signs of age, as the ends started to gray; but even for an aging man he could set a still set a brisk pace.
A few moments pass before he enters the launch bay. “Captain on deck!” Came a shout as all heads turned at attention, saluting the large man.
“At ease gentleman. Continue your prep and make sure you’re geared up proper. We’re dropping into a Bioweapon zone.”
The man that yelled to the others spoke up again. “That’s correct. Make sure your Self Contained units are charged and seal properly! We’ll be teaming up in sets of three! That means three checks of each persons gear! There will be no excuses for anyone becoming infected on this drop! Now MOVE!”
The crew members sorted themselves into groups quickly and orderly. Checking and rechecking everything. Suits, seals, weapons, medkits. Nothing went unturned. As this continued the first man came up to the Captain snapping off a sharp salute.
“Chief of Reconnaissance, Adrian Ruiz. I don’t know if we’ve formally met Captain Hullard but it’s a pleasure to be serving under you in this mission. I heard you were taking lead and relieved the officer on duty so I could join.” The man had a warm semi informal air about him.
“Thank you for joining me Chief Ruiz. I’m sure you will be a great help for this.” Hullard glanced around the bay seeing most of the men finishing up. “We should gear up as well. I’ll give you a check over when you’re ready, if you wouldn’t mind returning the favor?”
“Of course Captain!” The man snapped a salute and ran over to finish suiting up. A funny half grin on his face.
“Young pup. I remember when I had that kind of spunk.” He grumbled to himself, pulling on his Self Contained Apparatus. Holstering a small pulse blaster and shouldering a larger rifle he slid a fixed blade knife into boot. It was an ages old design the Terran military used to call a “K-Bar”. Simple, yet brutally effective in a skilled hand. New technology was always great but you could never beat a classic.
“Ready to head out Sir?” Came the voice of Ruiz. “We have 5 minutes till drop and I need to give your SCA a once over.”
The larger man nodded and let him give his suit a check. Finding everything in place and working he spun around for the Captains inspection. Seeing that all was well the began to board the small vessel with Ruiz in the lead.
“All right simpletons!” He shouted through his mask. “You get the great honor of having our very own Captain Hullard join us on this mission! When we hit the planet you are to remember two things. Number one! Your souls belong to the Gaia Federation! And two, until she says you can retire, your asses belong to me! Now let’s hit this yellow planet, red hot!”
With the slap of a large button, the doors slammed shut and the vessel dropped to the planet like a shooting star.
(This is just a small part in a large series I want to write. This is also just a branch off from it to introduce a few characters. Please comment, review, critique. Even if what you have to say will hurt my feels, everything is welcome here!)
[I love you all
submitted by ItisYeHampster to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]
“Our scanners haven’t picked up any life Captain. It appears we were too late.” Captain Hullard remained standing in place, silently staring out at the planet.
“Klein.”
“Yes Captain?” Came the formal retort.
“Prepare a landing party. I want them geared up, armed, and ready by 1700.”
“Right away Captain.” A pause. “Who will you send as command?” The question hung in the command deck for a moment before the Captain turned, facing his crew.
“I will take lead on this.”
“Of course Captain.” The First Officer opened a com channel and issued the orders to the lower decks. A short reply was given, confirming the orders. “Reconnaissance will be ready to drop planet side by 1700.”
“Thank you Klein.” The Captain walked from the view deck, past his seat, and towards the lift. “In the mean time First Officer Klein assumes command until my return.” With a press of a button Captain Hullard was descending to the lower decks.
[UGAST: 1638]
With a whir the lift doors opened and Hullard headed towards the launch bay. Though almost everyone knew who the Captain of this vessel was, he was no saint. A hardened military man through and through. One that followed the rules to the letter and held everyone under his command to that same standard.
Standing at just above 190cm, weighing an impressive 105kg, he was an imposing figure. Broad shoulders and arms that seemed to stretch his uniform in every direction. Onyx colored eyes and a full brown beard that showed signs of age, as the ends started to gray; but even for an aging man he could set a still set a brisk pace.
A few moments pass before he enters the launch bay. “Captain on deck!” Came a shout as all heads turned at attention, saluting the large man.
“At ease gentleman. Continue your prep and make sure you’re geared up proper. We’re dropping into a Bioweapon zone.”
The man that yelled to the others spoke up again. “That’s correct. Make sure your Self Contained units are charged and seal properly! We’ll be teaming up in sets of three! That means three checks of each persons gear! There will be no excuses for anyone becoming infected on this drop! Now MOVE!”
The crew members sorted themselves into groups quickly and orderly. Checking and rechecking everything. Suits, seals, weapons, medkits. Nothing went unturned. As this continued the first man came up to the Captain snapping off a sharp salute.
“Chief of Reconnaissance, Adrian Ruiz. I don’t know if we’ve formally met Captain Hullard but it’s a pleasure to be serving under you in this mission. I heard you were taking lead and relieved the officer on duty so I could join.” The man had a warm semi informal air about him.
“Thank you for joining me Chief Ruiz. I’m sure you will be a great help for this.” Hullard glanced around the bay seeing most of the men finishing up. “We should gear up as well. I’ll give you a check over when you’re ready, if you wouldn’t mind returning the favor?”
“Of course Captain!” The man snapped a salute and ran over to finish suiting up. A funny half grin on his face.
“Young pup. I remember when I had that kind of spunk.” He grumbled to himself, pulling on his Self Contained Apparatus. Holstering a small pulse blaster and shouldering a larger rifle he slid a fixed blade knife into boot. It was an ages old design the Terran military used to call a “K-Bar”. Simple, yet brutally effective in a skilled hand. New technology was always great but you could never beat a classic.
“Ready to head out Sir?” Came the voice of Ruiz. “We have 5 minutes till drop and I need to give your SCA a once over.”
The larger man nodded and let him give his suit a check. Finding everything in place and working he spun around for the Captains inspection. Seeing that all was well the began to board the small vessel with Ruiz in the lead.
“All right simpletons!” He shouted through his mask. “You get the great honor of having our very own Captain Hullard join us on this mission! When we hit the planet you are to remember two things. Number one! Your souls belong to the Gaia Federation! And two, until she says you can retire, your asses belong to me! Now let’s hit this yellow planet, red hot!”
With the slap of a large button, the doors slammed shut and the vessel dropped to the planet like a shooting star.
(This is just a small part in a large series I want to write. This is also just a branch off from it to introduce a few characters. Please comment, review, critique. Even if what you have to say will hurt my feels, everything is welcome here!)
[I love you all
2024.06.11 06:24 ikieneng My fanfiction - episode 6!
 | The next part is here! The story continues! This is another episode that I split into several parts because it’s pretty long. Today, you’re getting the second of two parts. submitted by ikieneng to teamleanne [link] [comments] DISCLAIMERS (the same ones as before) The point of this fanfiction is not to be a straight-up continuation of events with the same themes, intensity, and tone. If you go into it with those expectations, you are probably not going to like it. Rather, it’s supposed to be how I wish things went if these events were real life. The resolution you want for a real-life situation isn’t often the right choice for a show, but it can be incredibly beautiful. Think of what you’re about to read to be a separate show then. Episode 1 of this fanfiction begins after the episode “2:00” (season 2 episode 4), so it replaces the episode “Cake” and the ones that follow it. This fanfiction expects you to have seen the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, so you should watch those first. You can read the previous episodes of my fanfic in the sidebar (or “See community info” if you’re using the app). I myself am bursting into the story here. The narrator and me are the same. While my character is like 95% real me, don’t take events about my life described here as facts. Some aspects of my life have been changed for the story. In my head, I started writing like an “alternate me” character in 2016, fulfilling a lot of the things that I wish I had in life, and adding that to my story. I’m not really from Ukraine. I speak fluent Ukrainian as a foreign language, I started learning it in 2014, and I’ve talked to tons of people from there, but I’m not from Ukraine. I also don’t have as much money as I do in the story. I wish lmao. If you want to post your own fanfiction, feel free to do so! To get your own post flair for your fanfic, and to appear in the sidebar, please message me. SEASON 2 EPISODE 7 – “TAXI” Part 2 After a couple of minutes, when Leanne has calmed down enough (after much crying of relief), I suggest that we call the police now as we talked about. I take out my phone, dial 911, and give it to her, and someone on the other side says the usual “911, what’s your emergency?”, but Leanne gets really nervous after that and says nothing, and when the dispatcher says “Hello?”, she says “I’m sorry” and hangs up. I ask her what’s wrong, and Leanne goes “I’m sorry... If we go to the police, then talking to them and the lawyers would never end. I just can’t do that right now, it’s all too much...” and starts crying again while apologizing... I just take her in my arms and tell her that it’s okay, that she has nothing to be sorry for. “Is that really okay?”, she asks. I tell her “Of course! This is YOUR decision to make, not mine. If not having to deal with this stuff right now is what makes you feel best, then that’s what we’ll do! That’s the whole point of it anyway. It would probably be way too much for me, too, if I were in your shoes right now”. She smiles a little bit at that moment, and I ask her “Do you still want to go to the hotel in Allentown? Because if we’re not going to talk to the police, we probably don’t have to stay in Pennsylvania” She looks at me and nods with a bigger smile like she does sometimes, which is always so cute 🥹 https://preview.redd.it/yxp0eqjvcv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=e659e6fe47dc619ddf794e96be261d0e4768a1a8 And I smile back at her the same way 🥹 After a few seconds, I say “Well, 911 will call us back, and when they do, just calmly explain to them that you don’t wanna press charges. And when we’re at the hotel, let’s block the door of our room for tonight and just not deal with any of this stuff today. We’ll probably have to think about some other way to keep you safe, but we don’t have to do anything today or at all.” Leanne smiles a little bit while taking a sigh of relief and then asks me “What do you have in mind?” I go “Well, even if we don’t press charges, the Turners might, depending on how occupied they are in dealing with Mrs. Turner right now, so we might not have a choice in talking to the police eventually. With her, you can’t really know anything for sure, but when I told her that Mr. Turner and Julian know where Jericho is, I think she believes in, at least to some degree, so they’re probably all freaking out right now instead of going to the cops right away. Would it be okay with you if we talk to a lawyer tomorrow? They can probably give us far better advice on how to proceed, whether we’ll have to deal with the Turners or not. And we’ll have to stay safe from the Church as well. I assume they’ll come looking for you, right?” Leanne nods at that with a more concerned expression on her face. “Then it’s probably a good idea we talk to a lawyer tomorrow. They’ll be able to help us pretty well, I hope.” Leanne then asks me “Can we get someone to watch our door?” – “Like bodyguards?” Leanne nods. “Yeah, we can do that! Do you mean right now, or...” I’m not finishing the sentence because I’m waiting for her answer, and she goes “Nooo, tomorrow” after a second, and I gladly agree. Leanne asks me if it’s really okay if I pay for the lawyer and bodyguards, and I look her straight in the eyes, put my hand on her right shoulder (I’m sitting to the left of her), and say “Leanne, money couldn’t be any less of an issue. We could hire a thousand lawyers and bodyguards, and it would still be okay. It’s not a problem at all, and you deserve it!” And that makes her super happy to hear and really touches her, and she thanks me. I just say “Of course!” while still looking her in the eyes. Side note: It’s unlikely that lurkers from the other team make it all the way to episode 6, but I just wanna say the following: Leanne couldn’t care less about taking other people’s money. Julian offered her up to $100,000 in “Boba” to turn the doll back into a baby, and Leanne still said no and kept on implicitly pressing him for the truth about how Jericho died. The Turners also paid Leanne $900 a month, and she never once asked for more. In case there was any doubt about Leanne’s attitude to money, I just wanted to make that clear. https://preview.redd.it/wjchohlxcv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=fcba9b5c3b9fd581879d5dd1b0969ab3817633ea https://preview.redd.it/lwyppp2ycv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=51a8fd2ed406678887ca3cde6594011ebf4b2150 https://preview.redd.it/t3zt5njycv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=9262c6bd9385d7df8975aad8ea59cc1363671057 In that moment, 911 calls back. I answer the call, and after their introduction, I say “I wasn’t the one who made the call. I’ll hand the phone over to her” and give it to Leanne, which would already be a huge indication to the dispatcher that things are safe-ish now. The conversation goes like this: Dispatcher: “Hello, did you make a call to 911 from this number a couple of minutes ago?” - Leanne: “Yes, I did. I’m sorry I hung up. There was a crime, but I’m not pressing charges.” - Dispatcher: “Is everything okay? Are you in any danger? What happened?” - Leanne: “I was, but the danger is over now. Calling the police was just a precaution, but I decided that we’re going to a lawyer instead of the police.” - Dispatcher: “By ‘we’, you mean you and the other person I just talked to? Can I take your names, dates of birth, addresses, and numbers, please? And just to be absolutely clear, are you both safe now?” She says we’re safe and then says her name and date of birth... Side note: We never learn any character’s middle name in the show, but I actually chose middle names for all of them, and even surnames in cases where we don’t know them either, like Tobe’s, so Leanne’s full name is >! Leanne Alissa Grayson !< What do you think? I think it sounds great! ...and when asked for her address, she asks the dispatcher “My legal residence or where we’re going right now? We’re in a taxi.” She explains that she probably won’t be back at her legal residence anytime soon (the Marino estate), so she goes on to say that we’re going to a hotel to make sure we continue to stay safe. The dispatcher asks me for the address, and I say it out loud. Leanne asks if they’re going to come there, but the dispatcher says she’s just required to collect that information because any call gets logged, and that 911 is gonna call back in a few days just to make sure. She asks if the number we’re calling from belongs to me, and I say yes, which is when she asks for her number. Leanne asks me what the number of the phone I gave her is, so I open my contacts and point at the number, which is when she sees this ahaha: https://preview.redd.it/sxgyqb12dv5d1.png?width=623&format=png&auto=webp&s=5f2cf438bc929de1dbeeebea092d69017028fd14 She obviously can’t read Cyrillic, but she immediately sees the hearts and gets that they’re next to her name because of her pictures :))) She smiles so hard and says nothing for a second before reading out the number. After that, the dispatcher takes my name and date of birth and then asks if we’re sure we don’t want to say what crime occurred, and she tells her we’re sure and “Like I said, we’re gonna talk to a lawyer about this”. Because we’re both talking openly, and because I gave Leanne the phone when they called back, she probably believes us, says that 911 will call back in a few days just to make sure everything’s alright, and then ends the call. After the call is over, I ask the taxi driver if we can have the envelope back, who, having heard everything we said, gets that we don’t need it anymore because we’re not going through the police and gives it to me. Leanne is still smiling hard, and even though I know what’s going on, I ask her “What?” while smiling just as hard myself 😅 She asks “You put two hearts next to my name?” and after a second of silence, I go “Why not?” and then chuckle, and we kiss spontaneously 👩🏻❤️💋👩🏻 I go rest my head on her shoulder, and she says that that’s so sweet with big eyes! She takes out her phone, unlocks it, and opens the contacts. I know what she’s planning to do and say “There’s no emoji keyboard on this phone. This one sucks ahaha...” Leanne goes like “Nooo” when I tell her that, but I’m like “Don’t worry” and look up Unicode heart symbols and send her one (❤ - that* might be converted into a red heart emoji for you, but it’s not) in a* text message to copy and paste, and without me even saying anything, she pastes it in the name of my contact! At this point, the taxi driver reminds us not to lean over too far lmao Leanne asks me to show her her contact page on my phone again, and then, she asks about the Cyrillic spelling of my name. (Side note: This is a lot harder to explain without audio and just text because I’m explaining pronunciation to her, but I’ll try my best) I’m like “Well, in English, you never REALLY know how to pronounce a word if you’ve never heard it before, but in Ukrainian, every letter almost always makes the same sound. There’s very little variation to how each letter is pronounced, and even those variations are clearly defined. I might be biased here, but as far as Cyrillic alphabets go, Ukrainian is super easy, it’s really not as hard as people think. The only one that’s probably easier has gotta be Serbian. Anyway, if you see a Ukrainian word that you’ve never seen before, the only thing you don’t know immediately is what syllable is stressed. So here, this letter (Л) is pronounced LLLL, this one (і) is pronounced /i/ (the sound of the vowel e in the word “we”), and then, this letter (е) is pronounced /ɛ/ (the sound of the vowel e in the word “egg”), because Ukrainian doesn’t have the vowel sound of the letter a in Leanne, and this is like the closest one, and at the end, this letter (н) is pronounced NNNN, and that’s how I transcribed your name. There’s no unified standard for transcribing foreign names, so other people might transcribe it differently.” Leanne is impressed and says “That sounds so hard! How do you remember all that?” I’m like “It’s actually really easy. It’s certainly far easier than English where you have to hear a word just to really know for sure how to pronounce it. It just seems hard because I’m trying to explain one to two weeks of learning material in a few seconds.” Leanne looks at me and says that I sound so smart, and I tell her “Thank you! So do you!”. She’s so surprised by that and isn’t even sure if I mean it at first, but I tell her that, for example, how she told me she got Julian to tell her the truth about Jericho’s death sounds freaking genius, and I tell her that I can see that she’s incredibly resourceful and comes up with practical solutions easily. “I think you’re super smart! You just didn’t have a formal education, and that’s not your fault. I can only assume what other people say, but if they only judge you because you might not know some things people learn in school, they’re stupid and not even half as smart as you are!” Leanne probably never once heard someone tell her that she’s smart (and side note: I’ve double-checked in my subtitle files of the show, and there were only two times, both of them in season 3 – when Dorothy said “You are mature and creative and far too smart to turn down an opportunity like this” to try and spin her sending Leanne off to the dance course as something positive, so that doesn’t count, even Dorothy herself admits to Sean that day that it’s about sending Leanne away, and the other time, the only time a character meant it was later in the same episode, when Veera leaves the house while the Turners are looking for the real baby, which is when she tells Leanne “If you're as smart as I think you are, you'll get on that train and not look back.” Poor Leanne...), and this would mean so much to her, especially since she can tell that I really mean it. She asks me if I got the food I left the attic with earlier that day, and I tell her I do, it’s in my bags in the trunk. She immediately asks if I got more tomato soup, and I’m like “I knew you’d ask that! I actually don’t because we ate it all, and I didn’t have any at home, and I wanted to get you out of the attic as soon as possible, buuuut we can order something once we’re at the hotel. And I didn’t forget about Ben & Jerry’s! I couldn’t take any cups with me for obvious reasons, but maybe they got some at the hotel, and if not, we can order them as well!” Leanne smiles with big eyes and asks “They got room service, right?”, and I go “Yes, they dooo! The food has gotta be amazing, considering it’s three stars! Our suite has a kitchen, and I took tons of ingredients with me that don’t require cooling if we wanna cook or bake stuff, and I also took tons of clothes with me. I’m shorter than you, but we can try to see what fits you!” Leanne is be stunned for a moment because I’ve thought of so much for her. She rejects the offer of my clothes at first out of humility and says that she should buy some herself, that she can’t accept, but I say that we can do that, too. “You need clothes. They didn’t really leave you with a choice. You can wear anything that fits you!” She then looks at me, and after a moment, just hugs me and thanks me 🥹 I then suggest we can look at the room service menu, and once we find it online, we devour the list, already talking about all the insanely delicious-looking stuff we can eat if the menu hasn’t changed yet. This reminds me of this scene in “Better Call Saul”, just with much more cheerful and less contained mannerisms: https://preview.redd.it/0r2iqa57dv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a9b28df5c7c3a94975b6f6b55ca9ec287107e85 It's probably only like 5 or 6 PM at this point, and Leanne asks me what we’re going to do tonight, and I’m like “After we check in and unpack, that’s up to you! Now that you actually got a choice, what do you like to do for fun?” She thinks for a moment and goes “We’re not going to leave the suite. It’s not safe to go outside. We make sure nobody can get in. When we eat, we can watch something together if you want!” I smile and say “That sounds wonderful! Is there anything specific you wanna see?” Leanne replies “Anything but 8 News, please!”, and we both just burst into laughter at the same time. A few seconds later, she goes more somber and says https://preview.redd.it/bzdcs8x8dv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=e17ae205d43f26242a51bc74c0dadf4864d143a6 “She’s not like she is on the television. She’s selfish, and she’s cruel, and she’s mean. Even before... You know... Everyone has to move Heaven and Earth and drop everything at once if she wants something. She can never tell you something honestly. Whenever she wants you to do something inconvenient, she has to pretend like it’s something positive and that it’s all about YOU. She never admits how everything she does is always about herself.” I slowly nod at her with a sigh. “I know... I mean, I never got to see her under...” (raising my eyebrows and doing the mock “quotes” with my hands) “...‘normal’ circumstances, but someone capable of the things she did to you can’t be much better on a regular day. It’s not because of you. It sounds like she treats everyone that way, right?” Leanne nods. I say “And that’s why you shouldn’t draw any conclusions about yourself from the way she’s treated you. From the way you describe her, people are just a way to get where she wants for her, regardless of who you are, and you’re so fricking kind and sweet, and, like...” I then look directly at her and say “You just get me!” Leanne suddenly just smiles so genuinely, including with her eyes, and says “You, too, Daria! You... No one’s ever been there for me the way you are.” I tear up a bit hearing that 🥹 I respond “It’s about time!” After a moment, I ask “About Mrs. Turner, do you wanna give me examples?”. Leanne thinks for a moment and then says “There was a time last month when it was raining so much, so much water was pouring down because there was a big thunderstorm, and it was already dark outside. She came to my room and acted so nice and asked me if I wanted cake. She gave me some money and told me about a small bakery all the way in Oakley and told me to get a specific slice of cake there. She told me it would be 30 minutes there and back, and it was not. It was two and a half hours, and when I came back, she was moaning in the bedroom with Mr. Turner. She sent me through the pouring thunderstorm for two and a half hours while she just wanted me out of the house. She could have just said so! I could have gone to the shed in the garden or the coffee shop on Spruce...” https://preview.redd.it/dcmkmxsadv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=2bc3fbb0f1ea6d6bcea1157c8a133c70203f2ca8 “...and not gotten soaking wet in the dark to get her a stupid cake that she didn’t even eat. And she couldn’t even say that. She had to lie and make it seem like it was not a big deal by saying it would take 40 minutes there and back. ...” https://preview.redd.it/j66l9jjcdv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=8a74cc4453877905aa954f7532269cf620e0bb3f https://preview.redd.it/iwr4qe7ddv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=069c7ba6748caacd1f163d96607fe6ee58d1bd71 (Side note: Since Leanne’s age is coming up soon, here’s a reminder that I moved the story three years into the future because there’s no way I’d be in Philly in 2019, so Leanne is 21 in this story, not 18) “...She acted like it was all about me by saying that I could keep the change, but it’s all about her. Everything is always about her all the time. And her mean comments just hurt, and she doesn’t even realize it. Even on the day that I arrived, she was already like that. When Mr. Turner asked me what my hobbies are during dinner, she immediately said that ’21-year-old girls don’t have time for hobbies’. He was just asking me a question to get to know me, and she already had to try and make it about herself. Everything always has to be cheerful. She acts like everything is going well all day long, even when Uncle George came by for the first time. I think she realized how scared I was, and I think that, at the time, she cared at least a little bit, but she couldn’t even say a word about it to me. She made me feel sooo alone... And I don’t even know how much she really cared about keeping me away from the Lesser Saints instead of just keeping me as her nanny. These last two weeks, she was hoping to just hand me over to them, so probably not much, if at all. I just felt so alone before I ever left... And...” In that moment, I just take her in my arms and hold her as she’s beginning to cry, and she stops talking in that moment, not because she doesn’t wanna talk, but because she’s surprised to be comforted again without even asking for it. After like 10-15 seconds, I tell her “I can say something about that if you want, but I think you weren’t done yet”. Leanne replies “It’s okay, we got time”, and so I say “When you adore someone so much, like you did with Mrs. Turner, and...” I sigh for a moment, debating if I should say this. “I haven’t talked about this in like four and a half years, and even before that, I didn’t talk about it for like four years...” Leanne says “You don’t have to”, but I reply “I know, but I want to. [sighing] Alright...” (I’m changing all names and some other details here because this story is true, since I don’t want to risk ever getting sued lol) “...Years ago, before I even came to America for the first time, I had a crush on this singer who lived in Lviv in the west of Ukraine called Sofia Korohodska. She’s famous now, but back then, she was completely unknown, and near the very beginning of that was when I first noticed her. She participated in a national selection for Junior Eurovision, which is the same thing, but for up to 15-year-olds. We chatted almost every day, and I’m pretty sure that she knew on some level that I was in love with her, but I didn’t admit that to her because I was way too scared. I hadn’t even come out to anyone at that point in my entire life. This went on for over a year, during which, she was even on The Voice Kids, or Holos Dity. There was one moment that, in retrospect, should have let me know what was really going on. She ran a livestream, and I made a comment. My name on the app was spelled in the Latin Script, and you know how it’s spelled, but sometimes, people spell my surname wrong in Cyrillic if they only know the Latin version. There are two completely different letters that some people both transcribe as ‘H’, so they spell it ‘Хоренко’ sometimes instead of Горенко. But when I commented on her livestream, she pronounced it wrong, even though she’s seen it hundreds of times in our chats, and she also pronounced it like she’s never read my name before. One time, when she was coming to Kyiv, I even asked my father to drive me to the city, which didn’t happen because he didn’t get free time at work, but Sofia also didn’t really seem to want me to come to the event for some reason. A while later, I realized what was really going on, because her mom Zhanna was managing all her social media accounts, pretending to be her. Sofia never knew me. She pronounced Horenko (Горенко) “Хоренко” because we never actually talked. I chased a dream for over a year, but I was talking to someone else the entire time... I felt so fucking betrayed and heartbroken. Looking back, I get that you want to keep your celebrity child safe online, but to keep leading on another kid who loved your daughter, and there was no way that she couldn’t tell, that was so messed up. She could have said something like ‘Hey, I know you’re in love with me, and that’s really sweet, but I like you as a friend and fan’, or ‘I’m in love with someone else’, or ‘I’m straight’, but she never did. She lied to me for over a year that I could have spent looking for someone else, and what did I ever do wrong? And...” I then realize that I haven’t told Leanne that I saw the pageant tape where she met Dorothy. I lean over to her and whisper to her, so the taxi driver can’t hear it: “I was going somewhere with this, and I just realized that I didn’t tell you I saw your pageant tape!” Leanne smiles a bit heavily and looks over at me and asks “What do you think?” I whisper “I feel you. I’ve felt the exact same thing. When you meet someone famous and have feelings for them, any kind of feelings, it can be the greatest escape from life, and you just wanna be part of theirs sometimes. I’ve been there with Sofia and Blanche. Like I said, you just get me!” Leanne makes a happier expression and, unsure, she whispers “You don’t think it’s bad or obsessive?” I go “Noo, not at all! We both looked for an escape from our life and thought we found that in someone else who was really someone else the entire time. When you talk about Mrs. Turner and how she shattered your dreams and the way you looked up to her while she was completely different when there was no camera around to give her attention, I feel you... We loved them in different ways, and then we had our whole view about them shattered...” We both look at each other in that moment and just do heavy smiles as we know that we understand each other on this. “It wasn’t your fault”, she tells me. I smile a bit and say “Thank you. It wasn’t yours either. Some people are so freaking full of themselves and then blame you for making the slightest move against them, like Sofia’s mom and some of her other fans, especially when I realized what was going on and made a post about it after she denied everything. You didn’t do anything wrong.” After a moment, Leanne says “At the Turners’, everyone just kept telling me what’s wrong with me all the time, and I got so tired of it”. I look at her and say “There’s nothing wrong with you. You are so wonderful and adorable just the way you are!” Leanne gets a huge smile on her face over the next couple of seconds and asks “You really think so?” I just keep on looking her in the eyes, and I immediately just say “Yeah, I do!” while I even instinctively put my slightly spread hand over my heart. Leanne then whispers to me because she doesn’t want the taxi driver to hear it again, saying “Even when I cursed Mr. and Mrs. Turner? Uncle George and especially Aunt May always got sooo mad when I did things like that, and I always have this voice in the back of my head telling me that it’s wrong and that I should be ashamed of it...” I reply by whispering “That’s not bad or evil. Especially with the things they did to you, even before this month, they fucking deserve it, and it sounds like you made them face consequences for once in their lives. There are way too many people in this world who get away with the most vile behavior just because it’s legal or because no one can prove they did it, or because people tolerate it. There are so many people who blame the victim for reacting to their bullies and lashing out, but they don’t give a shit about the bully or making THEM face justice. To be completely honest with you, revenge should be far more accepted in society. People pretend that they don’t already accept it to some degree. Almost no one is a total pacifist, and people are lying to themselves when they say that they don’t want to fight back against the people that really hurt them. The things you can do, I think they’re badass! Can you teach me how to do them? I’d love to use them myself! Fighting back against the people who did so much unspeakable shit to you, that’s not evil. It’s a natural reaction to the things they put you through. You defended yourself against them.” Leanne is stunned for a moment as she never heard someone tell her this about her abilities. She’s never had someone not judge her for them and even support them, and you can tell in her eyes that this touches her. She says “I can’t, that’s not how it works. But I can use them for you!” I smile hard in that moment and say “That sounds so awesome!” Leanne asks “Do we begin with your mother?” I laugh and agree before I become calmer again and say “And hey...” Leanne turns her head to look at me. “No matter how much or little or not at all you use them, that is YOUR choice, not the Church’s or mine or anyone else’s. And don’t let anyone put you down for them either. They’re a part of who you are, and you are awesome just the way you are, Leanne!” Suddenly, she makes big eyes looking at me and then just hugs me, and I hug her back ❤️ I then ask her “You probably haven’t seen ‘Stranger Things’, right?” (mild spoilers for season 4) She shakes her head, so I reply “In the new season that came out this summer, there’s this character called Angela that I hate soooo much, she’s one of the most despicable people in the history of fiction, and she puts another character called El through absolutely unspeakable bullying, the kind of stuff that completely ruins you mentally. She basically destroyed El’s mental health completely, and at some point, in a very public setting, El takes a rollerblade and punches Angela in the face with it, and I fucking loved that, it was sooo satisfying, until everyone in the place turned around and looked at her like SHE was the monster. That’s exactly what’s wrong with so many people who pretend like they’re delusional pacifists. Hating on people for standing up for themselves after experiencing horrible things and making people face justice who’d never face it otherwise, while they don’t give a shit about the things the bully did to them the entire time before that.” Whispering, I continue: “What El did to Angela is what you did to Mrs. Turner. They deserve it so bad! I think that’s awesome, and it shows me that you know how useless pacifism is. Pacifism is giving the strongest free reign, and way more people should realize that like you do! I love that about you!” Leanne smiles sooo hard in that moment, that’s so satisfying to hear for her. She then goes “Thank you! Do you want to watch it tonight?” Putting my hands up a bit, I say “Nonono, Stranger Things is really sad and depressing. Especially those scenes with Angela are just excruciating. That’s the opposite of what you need right now. Let’s watch something more happy, like...” I think for a moment before I go “God, I watch so much sad stuff. Let’s see what I got on my laptop or on streaming services. We’ll find something!” Leanne smiles and says “That sounds awesome! I’m looking forward to that!”, and I go “Me, too! Hey, you wanted to say something earlier, right? If it’s not too heavy for you.” Leanne says “Let’s talk about it another day. But thank you for remembering!” I smile and say “You’re welcome!” before whispering “You were so cute on the pageant tape, by the way! You’re the cutest kid ever, and you’re even more beautiful now!” Leanne blushes so hard at that for several seconds before she goes more somber and says “But I never won, and I only did well four times...” https://preview.redd.it/p52vvimgdv5d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=57525eb670e1f69a4db7de9746dd7e9305918843 And that’s so sad, another aspect of the heartbreaking way her mother treated her... I hug her and say “Child beauty pageants expect kids to look and act like they’re adults, and they’re not, they’re kids. And the way you were styled just didn’t fit that. You were not the problem, it’s these pageants’ concept of beauty, and you were the cutest little kid then, and you are sooo soooooo gorgeous now, you don’t realize just how beautiful you are!” Leanne blushes again and looks at me and sees in my eyes that I mean what I say, and you can tell in her face that that’s really touching her! She then just kisses me, and I smile so hard while kissing her back 👩🏻❤️💋👩🏻❤️ “You, too, Daria”, she says, “You are sooo pretty and beautiful and gorgeous!”, at which I say “Thank youuuu!” and blush even harder while we kiss some more :))) On a different topic, I then go “About our food in the hotel, do you have any allergies that you know of?” She shakes her head and then asks about mine. “Yes and no. I’m technically lactose-intolerant, but it’s gotten a lot milder over the years, and now, I just take lactase pills, which make my body able to process it. I mean, I eat way too much Ben & Jerry’s, which contains lactose left and right. And I used to get allergic asthma attacks from peppermint, eucalyptus, and menthol, even the smell made it hard to breathe. I don’t think I have it anymore, but I’m way too scared to try and test if I still do because I vividly remember almost dying from it.” Leanne goes “That sounds really scary”, and I respond “It was” while sighing and slightly nodding. She then says “A doctor could probably make it safe to find out if you’re still allergic.” I appreciate that. “Yeah, they could. There are specialists for this stuff. Maybe we can go to one when it’s safe to go out again.” Leanne almost freezes for a second at that moment because I just said “we”, so without even realizing it, I just told her that I’m planning to stick around by her side for a long time, and that’s unimaginably beautiful and comforting for her! ❤️ And because I’m taking the danger seriously (unlike the Turners in season 3, especially Dorothy and Julian...)! She smiles so hard and then nods! After that, I go more somber and say “And there’s something I should probably tell you about. [sighing] On December 31 and January 1, and probably on the days surrounding it as well, I won’t be emotionally available, and that has nothing to do with you. Because of my PTSD, a little bit of fireworks are okay, but I’m scared shitless of all the New Year’s fireworks because they sound like gunfire left and right. They’re a huge trigger for me, and I’ll feel I’m right back in the war. July 4 this year was hell because of that. I’m so scared about how I can handle the New Year... I know this is so unfair to ask of you because of what you’re going through, but around the New Year, especially around midnight, I need help... Can you just hold me then and make sure I don’t hurt myself?” With the tone of my voice, I show that I think it’s way too much to ask, but Leanne goes “Of coooourse! I’m here for you, Daria! It’s not unfair, don’t worry!” and then rests her head on my shoulder 🥹❤️ Side note: One of my past roommates was a refugee from Afghanistan, and I think this was on January 1, 2020, but it could have been on January 1, 2019. His room was directly next to mine, and when the fireworks got really loud around midnight, he was crying and screaming so loudly, you could hear soooo much pain in his voice... I knew immediately that the fireworks brought him flashbacks of the war. I wish I’d done something to help, but I just didn’t know how, especially because we didn’t get along, so I probably wasn’t the right choice of person to help... I’ll remember that moment for the rest of my life... Soon later, we arrive at the hotel after about 75 minutes. To keep the time we spend outside of the car to a minimum, I pay the driver inside the car and thank him so fricking much for all the help he’s been and give him a huge tip. I then tell Leanne that I’ll take the two bags on the left side of the trunk, and that she should take the one to the right, to make everything go faster, and I tell the driver that he can leave once I knock on the trunk three times. So we get out, close the doors, open the trunk, take the bags, close the trunk, and I knock on it as I said, and the taxi leaves while we enter the hotel as fast as we can. When we check in, I tell the staff not to let anyone know that we’re even staying there at all for safety reasons, to say that they can’t give out information about their guests, that if there are deliveries, we will let them know beforehand and give them the money and tip to accept them and pay for them, and tip them as well for bringing them upstairs, so we don’t have to leave the room. Leanne then asks if we can borrow a vacuum cleaner from the staff for the duration of our stay because we don’t like to leave our room due to safety concerns. They tell us that they could do it for about a week at most because they’ll need it themselves, which is when I say that we can order one, or a Roomba. Leanne asks “Roomba?”, and I’m like “It’s a robot that moves around your floor until it’s done cleaning everything. I got one, it’s so freaking cool!” And Leanne thinks that it does sound interesting! One of the employees asks if they should accompany us upstairs, and Leanne says “No, thank you” to stay as safe as possible. We then get our keys, and I give them to Leanne. We go to the elevator together, which we realize we can only call with the keys, which alleviates some of her worries. On our floor, it’s the same deal again with the electronic key. We enter our suite, put down the bags, and put up the “do not disturb” sign before closing and locking the door. We look around for a heavy object to close the door with, and she suggests a glass table, which we then carry together (we struggle to carry it, but that’s a good sign) and put in front of the door. We then let ourselves fall onto one of the beds to just relax for a moment, which is when Leanne gets a visibly relieved look on her face and starts laughing out of relief! I look over at her and start smiling for her, and I say “You’re safe now! I’ll make sure to keep it that way!”, and she just embraces me again super tight and says “Thank you so much, Daria!” I hug her back and say “Of course!” with a huge smile. After letting go, we just look each other directly in the eyes and then kiss, we’re both getting the idea at the same time 😅😍❤️ When we open our eyes again and look at each other directly, I nervously breathe for a moment and tell her “I like you, Leanne!” She smiles even wider now and says “I like you, too, Daria!” 😍❤️ ❤️ More kisses follow ahaha... I then ask her “Relax a little longer?”, and she smiles and nods. |
2024.06.11 06:24 BLUEberry_1000 Miss Emily, (Elemental AU) sketch.
 | Miss Emily is next to introduce in my Elemental AU!! She wears a greenish dress with black boots. She used to wear green gloves and an emerald necklace, but her hands turned into pitch black claws, and lost her necklace when she got kidnapped. She does have a leaf mark on her right eye, marking that she is the Life Element. submitted by BLUEberry_1000 to FundamentalPaperEdu [link] [comments] Element: Life, Dark (Infected/Temporarily) Role: Priest Likes: Animals, nature, calm places, helping and supporting others in need. Dislikes: Fighting, blood are gore. Lore: Emily was chosen to be the Leader of the Life Tribe, but got kidnapped by the Dark Tribe when she was walking peacefully alone in the forest… Not knowing where she is, she slightly panicked and tried to escape, but she only found herself in a dark-like prison cell. Now knowing she was being held captive in the Dark Tribe, she even got injected with a dark serum, making her green clothing slightly turn black, growing sharp claws, a dark tail tip, a melting halo, and a few eyes on the right side of her face. Emily’s been held captive in the Dark Tribe’s chambers for more than 2 years, making her panic even more, and slightly getting painful nightmares of the future (somehow). She still hopes and preys for someone to come save her from this dark curse… |