Burning sensation in lower right side

Hi all,
I am a novice gardener in the UK and over here a few people have begun keeping quail in fruit cages to help fertilize and eat weeds and bugs. Fruit cages are basically aviary type spaces to keep wild birds away from fruit that is being grown for human consumption. I live right next to a nature reserve so any attempts to grow fruit without protection is futile! I don't mind if quails eat some of the lower fruits but I understand they mostly stay on the ground so the rest should be uneaten. Generally the quails would be for eggs only but we have no aversion to butchering if required e.g. injury.
Anyway, I was looking at a 6x4 or 6x6 walk-in fruit cage and was wondering if experienced quail owners felt this would be a suitable habitat for them? I would ensure they had a ground floor sheltered area and add a roof to protect against rain.
How many eggs per day do coturnix generally average at? I want to get roughly the right number, slightly over to account for reduced laying as they age etc. As I have 3 dogs any extra eggs wouldn't go to waste.
Would just females be OK or am I better off adding a male or two in to keep them happy even if I don't intend to incubate eggs? It is something we may want to do in the future however.
Thank you!

https://youtu.be/UPCgaZ9CYz8?si=5z03BokodlrFQcfn
I’ve got way too much time on my hands I’ve made this piece of mumble. I’d love your feedback on it . It’s my first so if you wanna absolutely grill me for it/ critic it from start to finish I’m all for it .
Here we are let’s call it
Once again -lyrics- Once again
In a world of laughter, where troubles seem to fade, I'd take on any challenge, for our love won't fade. Even if you're feisty, ready for a brawl, I'd still chase after you, for you're my all in all. (Chorus) I'd give it all, my joy, my song, my glee, Just to see your face light up, you mean the world to me. Even if we playfully argue now and then, I'd dance through the chaos, to hold you once again. (Verse 2) When the sun sets low and the stars start to shine, I'll be there by your side, your hand in mine. For in your laughter, I find my guiding light, And in your embrace, everything feels right. (Chorus) I'd give it all, my joy, my song, my glee, Just to see your face light up, you mean the world to me. Even if we playfully argue now and then, I'd dance through the chaos, to hold you once again. (Bridge) Life's a merry-go-round, with ups and downs we sway, But with you by my side, every moment's like a holiday. So let's laugh away the worries, let's dance in the sun, For with you, my love, every battle's won. (Chorus) I'd give it all, my joy, my song, my glee, Just to see your face light up, you mean the world to me. Even if we playfully argue now and then, I'd dance through the chaos, to hold you once again. (Outro) So let's skip through the meadows, let's sing under the sky, With you, my love, every moment's flying high. I'd give it all, my laughter, my cheers, my trend, Just to see you again, and love you to no end.

Hello guys,
As the title says, I quit LoL for many years for various reason, and thought I'd give it another try few weeks ago. The UI and overall gameplay seems to have improved, but the big dark spot in LoL I feel like has always been the community. I just got an experience today that kinda disguste me and probably will quit after this, but I wanted your opinions on this. Usually "back in the days", when we had someone intentionnaly trolling sadly happens, we know they dont get banned but we can launch another.
There, for some reason the jungler tilts from champ select because I picked Teemo top (vs singed, and even if not to counter is it bannable offense to pick certain champs now). Assigned jungler says in tchat "let's ff", locks garen, swap smite to tp. Game starts, follow me around and try to steal as much farm as possible in top lane. When I agree to swap with mid lane, he follows me around and does same thing. Result, as it s way easier to last hit/clear with garen than with teemo, I have ridiculous farm stats (yet more than my mid but that s another question) and three level difference, so, as you can expect, I die some times, but I don t even think I was the one that died most this game (since no jungler on our side).
Right after game I got banned intantly, is this the "feeding behavior system" since I can t believe a human checked this ban so quick after the game. If so, that means you can legit have another player ban by trolling him. Is it something that happens regularly or just a weird loophole ? And in any case, can you please tell me what players are supposed to do in this situation.
Thanks a lot for your answers, they will probably decide if i quit this game or not, I know loads of you are great but if the game is that rotten that the negative impact of a few ternishes the experience of other players, I ll spend my time in another way :) Have a good one cheers

One of my headcanons about Mrs. Bennet, given her character and general lack of tact, is that her daughters are not at all clueless about the bedroom going into marriage. No, they wish they were. Elizabeth and Jane were sitting there wishing they could unhear everything and go in blind. Their ears burned right off their heads. They began to wish they'd never even gotten engaged.
Or, they are super excited about it because the bedroom is the only place where Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have a good relationship, if you know what I mean...

Dear F,
Actually— Does your name even start with that letter anymore? I wonder about that sometimes. Not sure why you’d opt to change it again, but still. Just something that pops into my head.
I wasn’t aware I’d be writing a second letter so soon after the first— though likely this ends up buried on my account after being filtered out or removed, or what have you. Could be the unverified E-Mail? Who knows.
I’m having kind of a shitty day. Didn’t sleep super well, but that’s nothing crazy. Had the misfortune of having to see a dead bird at work today. Seems like it was done by another animal, so it shouldn’t make me too sad— like, that’s Nature and eve thing. Can’t help being soft about this kind of stuff, though. I actually took care of a shaken up ‘n hungry fledgling for a week or so last year, so maybe that’s why it feels a bit extra unfortunate. Reminds me of when we found that field mouse acting odd on the trail, and took care of him for a couple days. Icarus, right? I think I wanted to spell it like the town in Pokémon BW, but it’s silly to split hairs over that. I think I’m rambling to deflect at this point, as I’m want to do.
You always pop into my head— usually either because of the things we shared, the meaningful words that hopped off your lips… but sometimes it’s the darker stuff. Things you’ve told me about your past, about the things you’ve seen and experienced, and my heart nearly breaks in two. I can’t believe I ever left your side, ever let myself leave the world’s most valuable position— your confidant.
I’m sorry for everything— with all that happened I wasn’t in right mind, and after that I could only focus on survival… and by the time I realized how much I missed you, you had already (rightfully) given up on our connection. I hope there are people in this world you feel like you can tell about those skeletons in your closet. you deserve to be heard, loved, understood, and appreciated.
I think I’ve already written it in my last letter, and likely in the several older ones posted under a boatload of aliases and whatnot, that one of the only things that stops me from completely falling into despair is the idea that you’re happier now than you ever could have been with me. that doesn’t seem to be the case, and that breaks my heart. I can only hope that it’s waiting for you at some point down the road. I hope the same thing for everyone else, too. It’s a comforting thought to think everyone can reach their true potential and be joyous now that I’m finally no longer in the way. Failing that, the only other thing that gives me a small bit of comfort, is the idea that multiverses are real, and somewhere out there— I’m making good on my promises, making you as happy and fulfilled as you deserve to be. That we’re working on funny little games and comics and all sorts of unique artistic endeavors with all our friends in our close-knit little found family of a community.
I’ve got more on my mind today, but I should probably cut it here. (So needlessly verbose, guess some things never change.) Not like you’re gonna read this anyway, though— for as much as I fantasize about you somehow stumbling upon these writings, I’m well aware that it’s not gonna happen, which is… nice, in a way. Not for my peace of mind and privacy, I’m shameless enough to actively want you to see these on some level, but it’s comforting knowing that I’m at least not ENTIRELY writing these from a pace of selfish need to be seen and pitied, but as a genuine coping mechanism.
Until next time, —The Boy Who Was Once Your Doofling

We have recently had a big falling out with my husband’s parents. Context in my prior post here but TLDR; they repeatedly violated boundaries around several things but most importantly kept putting our child’s health at risk. They don’t see any issue with this behavior. Proceeded to say that I’m a nervous wreck (they’ve always subtly made comments demeaning my mental health but this is the most blatant they’ve been about their feelings.), my husband is too sensitive and that we’re overreacting among other things. Basically they can do no wrong, they raised three kids so they know better than we do what’s right for our child. The post outlines the most egregious offenses but there have been several other smaller issues since the time we started dating to now.
we have decided there will be no contact, no visits, no pictures, no FaceTimes until they’re willing to follow our rules and make serious amends for how they spoke to/about me and him. My husband plans to send them a letter outlining what they’ve done, how it’s impacted us, and what needs to change if they want to be in our lives etc. He expects this letter to magically make them see they’re wrong. I know it most likely won’t.
How do I support him through this? What did your partner do/what did you wish they did if you’ve gone through similar issues? Should I help him prepare for the fact that it may not change things with them or do I just let it play out?
I’m very hurt by them but I am severely hurting for my husband right now and grieving the fact that my child will never have the grandparents he deserves on that side of the family.

Inb4: not much of quality or choice on marketplace in my area & my price range is $200 - $250. I will explain my sewing needs at the end of the post.
The 2 machines in my price range that I've come down to are:
Brother sq9285 - currently priced at $230 at Walmart.
Brother CS7205 - currently priced the same at Joanne $230. However, their website says it's on sale from an original price of $360.
From what I see these two machines are almost identical, I need to do a side by side on my pc and I am doing that next but I really don't know what makes of breaks the difference in these 2 machines since this is my first time buying one. These seem like the best options in my price range right now, and I need help deciding. The msrp on the CS7205 leads me to think this may be a better machine and I should snag that deal, however I would like to defer to more experienced folks like you before I make my decision. Singer has a few others in my price range but many reviews I've watched about machines in this price range seem to lean towards the brother machines. So tell me, what am I looking for? Which is better & why? What makes it better?
What I plan on using it for: I've lost weight and want to do some simple tailoring, eventually maybe some more complex stuff but I'm starting with t-shirts I don't like to practice before I move onto anything I want to keep. I am also very tall, and the tall section doesn't stock much of the smaller sizes. I would like to be able to grab a larger size that has the length I need and bring it in to fit me when I see something I like in stores it's rare to find my size! I also enjoy making custom Halloween costumes and potentially some cosplay stuff that will greatly benefit from learning to use a sewing machine. Maybe also sewing/making some custom Christmas gifts for my neices.

To preface, I realize (or at least now think) this is more of a me issue than the other person’s, and I’m trying to learn how to be better about it. I’ve had various friends as roommates (RM) in college etc. and now live in a city with a random I found online, but I’ve always had some sort of issue with them. I think I just have a very particular way of living both from personal preference and just certain home habits I was raised with that I still keep up. While some of the problems are typical ones I’ve brought up like RM leaving trash/food/clothes everywhere, but others are not stacking the dishwasher right (bowls on the bottom rack), not hanging the bathmat on the side of the tub, and other particular stuff like that. That isn’t necessarily the issue. My issue is that for some reason, after enough of these instances my brain sort of turns on RM (no matter who it is) and just puts a really bad taste in my mouth towards them regardless if we were friends in the first place. I’ve tried not to bring little stuff up like that since it’s so nitpicky and not necessarily something to comment on, but instead I tend to complain to friends about it and eventually it puts disdain and distance between me and X friend or right now created an even bigger distance between my random roommate who I would have liked as a first friend in a new city. Any advice on how to change that about myself? I don’t want to keep going down that road because I feel like the greater issue is me and the way I operate, rather than their ‘wrongs.’

This is a long complicated process. And I already know it begins with my fault so please don’t just comment that this is my fault…but when my now husband and I first moved in together-my husband had a hard time containing his temper. He would get mad (not even at me) and have outbursts where he would become blind to how he was acting. We would get into fights about how he handled his anger inappropriately and he get mad at me. I would vent to my mom when this happened- not knowing this would eventually come back to me.
One month before our wedding-my stepdad and husband got into a fight about business. My stepdad ended up hanging up the phone on my husband which really upset him. My mom tried to calm the situation and involve herself. Then she got mad when my husband couldn’t calm down in his ranting about how rude my stepdad was and she decided to then yell at my husband about how he needs to learn to calm down….but this didn’t just stop here. His parents got involved (they also were involved in the business thing) and they sent my mom a message saying she was disrespectful and shouldn’t have yelled at their son. My mom sent them a really long 3 page rambling email about all of the instances I had ranted to her and why she has a right. Then they blocked her on social media. My mom responded by blocking them back, saying she didn’t want to do business with them anymore and then calling their supervisor to complain about their unprofessional attitude…
My mom and husband have hated each other ever since. My mom refused to come to the wedding which obviously ruined it for me. It’s almost a year and a half later and they continue to hate each other. They will not come around each other. My husband won’t come to family gatherings. Both say it’s the other persons responsibility to apologize.
My husband has severely calmed down. He now handles his anger much better. But is still mad at mom. Mom and I have been distant. She still thinks she needs an apology. Husband just doesn’t want to be where she is. Mom would rather let our relationship go on being tense then apologize for anything. I don’t get it because my mom has been remarried 4 times and I always stuck by her. We have been through a lot. But she won’t even suck her pride up to apologize in order to have a relationship with her daughter still. I would do anything if it was my child.
My stepdad says it’s my fault for believing my mom would do anything for me and put up with me treating her this way. I would be wrongly assuming she should just take it just because she’s my mother. He says I only side with my husband because I think that just because my mother is my mother-she should be the one to fix it.

https://youtu.be/UPCgaZ9CYz8?si=5z03BokodlrFQcfn
I’ve got way too much time on my hands I’ve made this piece of mumble. I’d love your feedback on it . It’s my first so if you wanna absolutely grill me for it/ critic it from start to finish I’m all for it .
Here we are let’s call it
Once again -lyrics-
In a world of laughter, where troubles seem to fade, I'd take on any challenge, for our love won't fade. Even if you're feisty, ready for a brawl, I'd still chase after you, for you're my all in all. (Chorus) I'd give it all, my joy, my song, my glee, Just to see your face light up, you mean the world to me. Even if we playfully argue now and then, I'd dance through the chaos, to hold you once again. (Verse 2) When the sun sets low and the stars start to shine, I'll be there by your side, your hand in mine. For in your laughter, I find my guiding light, And in your embrace, everything feels right. (Chorus) I'd give it all, my joy, my song, my glee, Just to see your face light up, you mean the world to me. Even if we playfully argue now and then, I'd dance through the chaos, to hold you once again. (Bridge) Life's a merry-go-round, with ups and downs we sway, But with you by my side, every moment's like a holiday. So let's laugh away the worries, let's dance in the sun, For with you, my love, every battle's won. (Chorus) I'd give it all, my joy, my song, my glee, Just to see your face light up, you mean the world to me. Even if we playfully argue now and then, I'd dance through the chaos, to hold you once again. (Outro) So let's skip through the meadows, let's sing under the sky, With you, my love, every moment's flying high. I'd give it all, my laughter, my cheers, my trend, Just to see you again, and love you to no end.

My partner and I play the Bee together. Before we start, one of us guesses how many points will be needed for Genius, and then the other guesses if the actual will be higher or lower. We’re usually within 20 points, and have been exactly right about 5 times in the past year. If there’s an ED in ING, it almost always adds 50-100. Just a fun way to start the game.

I'm not 100% sure how to write this nor do I really want to. This is something that's been plaguing my relationship since it happened a while ago. I've been with my girlfriend (F22) long distance for a bit more than a year now. We've seen each other in person a few times now for a couple weeks at a time and it's gone great. She's my best friend, and I love her a lot. We do most things together and spend time together in call as often as we can, which is pretty often. We met via a mutual friend in a friend group on a discord server. From there I messaged her often as I was interested in becoming friends. Fast forward, I caught feelings and so did she. We talked everyday, until eventually she became my girlfriend. I know this is toxic, but there were plenty of times where she wanted to hang out with our mutual friend group and I chose to say I didn't really want that. I don't know why, but I guess I wanted to be alone with her more often than not to build our relationship.
Eventually, we had our first big argument. She has some pretty serious anger problems, so a lot of very nasty and harsh things were said from her. This included her tearing up a note I had written to send her, and threats to burn any of my clothes that she had. This all happened, and while it went down I had relied on two very close friends from that group to talk to. I sent them screenshots of the things she was saying and they both said it seemed like she was an abusive person and they urged me to leave. They both operated out of their care for me and I felt as if they were being genuine, so I didn't fight them on it. I think it was an ugly side of her, but I wouldn't consider her abusive. I think she's just very very emotional and her broken home causes her to react to sadness with anger and she can do some really intense things to hurt me in those moments. She always apologizes after the fact and I understand this.
Regardless, I never addressed this with her. I never let her know that two of my close friends thought she was abusive and I kept it hidden. I let her think everything was fine, as she wanted to be part of that friend group very badly. But coupled with that, and the fact I actively kept her from them, it never really went anywhere. Fast forward a couple of months to when she came to visit me where I lived. She stayed with me for around two weeks, and it went mostly well. She eventually stumbled upon those conversations, and she lost it. She was so hurt that I shared some of the moments she was so deeply ashamed of with them, and that I would let them call her abusive without even fighting them or saying otherwise. She was so hurt, she wanted to leave. In that moment, I'll be honest, I said what she wanted to hear. That I'd leave the friend group and block those two people. That was enough to allow us to rebuild our relationship and since then I wasn't in contact with those two. Since then, our relationship has been fine barring a few mishaps.
These mishaps have been me going back to that friend group. I miss them often, and I want to be in their server and hang out with them. This part is where I believe I'm in the wrong, on multiple occasions I've lied to her. I've told her I'm not talking to them, I've told her I don't even want to. But this wasn't true, I had been talking to them, I had missed them. These were my only real friends and without them I only really had her. She wanted to help me find new friends and none of it helped. I couldn't stop missing my old group of friends. I've lied so much to her that I feel like I'm just incapable of doing what she deserves. She has given me everything I could ask for. She would do anything for me, and is deeply in love with me. I love her a lot too, and I want to do anything that would make her happy. I'm pretty mentally ill and I can't handle this trauma well, I don't want to leave her but I don't know what to do.
She explains to me how much this hurts her, that she can't trust me. That choosing between a group of friends and a significant other shouldn't be this hard and I think she's right. She gives me everything I need but I also feel as if I want my friend group. I only want it so badly because I don't really have friends anywhere else, at least not like a group setting like this. I feel so terrible and like I'm constantly hurting her but I'm at the point where my friend (who owns the server all my friends hang around in) has told me this is the last time we're doing this. That I can't leave again or it'd be for good. I don't want to hurt her, I love her a lot. She doesn't deserve this lying. These people made her feel unwelcome, and uncared for. They didn't ever ask to hear her side, nor did they ever reach out to her to ever make sure she was okay. She doesn't want to associate with them, especially not through me. I've tried asking if we could compromise and I'd block the two she specifically has problems with but she doesn't trust that I could truly do that. Which she has the right to do, honestly. Those two were my closest of the group. I talked to them almost every day and I felt comfortable to go to them with anything. I feel like my inability to choose has both tarnished my relationship and my friendships. I'm so stuck in the middle that I'm breaking both sides. I feel like I'll end up with nothing at this rate, but even then my friends say I'll always have them and they've welcomed me back every time with open arms.
We've broken up again over this friend group and my constant lying about it, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to choose sides anymore, but if I don't deal with this I'll lose her. I need help. What should I do?

1. Nothing crazy severe has hit the area as of yet. Let’s hope it stays this way.
   
2. The rain is getting the area out of the drought, which is great for us farmers. Right now the drought monitor shows us being abnormally dry- last year OTD we were exceptionally dry. From April to September last year, the area totaled 3.5” of rain… ouch. In my 29 years, I’ve never seen the soil so dry as it was last year- absolutely no moisture in the soil, seeing the dryland crops burn up was very depressing. Now we have almost a foot of moisture in the soil, so fingers crossed we won’t have to irrigate so freaking much this year as we did last year.
   

I remember being optimistic for some rain last year, and I would watch on the radar as the storm cell would split right as it was coming into the area, only to eventually fill back in and give everyone else a good shot of rain. As much as I don’t want tornadoes hitting my area, I’m also pretty happy that our fortunes have changed compared to last year.

Curious if anyone has had similar side effects. For reference I’ve been anovulatory for a year. Triggered after 50mg of clomid and two follicles.

1. The bloating is unreal. Like my entire body feels so swollen and uncomfortable. Retaining about 2lbs of water. I’m 3DPO and the bloat seems to be calming down a little bit. Boobs also hurt - again today seems a bit better.
   
2. I feel off. Just like truly off and not myself. It’s starting to decrease.
   
3. Up until yesterday I felt like I had swollen bowling balls in my lower abdomen. It just felt soooo full. Also lower back pain.
   
4. Anxiety/sadness was quite intense. Also just a cranky bitch.
   
5. Temperature only increased starting today.
   

Overall at 3DPO I’m feeling a bit more ‘normal’ My mood is definitely better and the generalized swelling and abdominal discomfort has calmed down - hoping it continues to be on the decline.
Part of me is curious that I don’t know what it’s like to ovulate and I’m just so hypersensitive to any changes.
I keep trying to remind myself that I’m forcing my body to do things and asking a lot of it and I likely won’t feel like myself through this. But my anxiety is like omg if you can’t handle a trigger shot you can’t handle pregnancy…. Thriving over here clearly!

Depression is hard, I get it, I’ve lived through it after burning over 40% of my body in a house fire; however, that has never stopped me from achieving things. I feel people need to realize that only YOU can truly make yourself happy, only YOU can beat depression, only YOU can create a better version of yourself. It is easy, just do it. I hate when people say that they can’t clean, can get up, etc because they’re depressed. Literally just get up and do it. Force yourself to have a strong mindset. You are holding yourself back.
Maybe this is harsh, but this is what I was told when I fell on hard times and now I see how easy it is to get right back up. By staying in bed, not doing things to make you happy, you are only worsening your depressive state. Get up and do something about it. Nobody likes being depressed, nobody. Only you can change that.
I hope everyone finds happiness and the strength to push

Just based on a personal feeling, I haven’t been this excited to be in the Europa League before.
First, I know the Europa league was prestigious before they changed the European Cup to the Champions league. But when I started supporting Spurs in 2010 and when we made the Europa League a few years ago, I would have rather not participated at all.
Just seemed like a trip to Sweden, Bulgaria, and some mid tier French side was all we could watch in the group stage, and then face no one interesting till the quarters. Now I feel like the groups have at least one well known European opponent and some exciting lower league sides.
I feel the EPL competition aspect comes into play when you realize we beat out Utd, Chelsea, and Newcastle for the EL this year. While they all had down years, they still have the quality and wages to be above spurs.
Or maybe the years have matured me to realize that good football in any league is all that matters and getting to play in Europe is better than waiting around all week.
Anyway. . . BRING ON QARABAG AND SHERIFF TIRASPOL

This post was originally meant to be a comment, I see a lot of people asking where to start/getting confused about what it actually means to be an entrepreneur and start a business, and a lot of people seem to be starting without any direction at all. I like to think of being an entrepreneur’ not as a choice, but as a gift or blessing for the world that has been handed down onto someone. More of a destiny, so here’s my humble advice on how to get there:
Simple Terms: Find what you’re good at, everyone has something ➡️ Get knowledgeable about it ➡️ Work in that profession ➡️ Identify fixable problem/unseen technique within that profession ➡️ Study it, sell it, profit.
If you’re lost on what to do and don’t think you have a talent, then you just haven’t experienced life yet. A lot of people have a ‘trigger event’ for when they do figure out what to do, but it’s unlikely you’ll experience it at home.
You can think of it as you in a field, with a bow n’ arrow, and blind fold on. You don’t know how many targets there are, and you can’t see them right away. But you do know that if you keep shooting your unlimited amount of arrows, and don’t give up, something will eventually stick. You can increase your chances of this by:
➡️ Going to college ➡️ Taking on a trade ➡️ Traveling ➡️ Meeting new people ➡️ Volunteering ➡️ Learning a new language ➡️ Taking on new sports/hobbies
Things to avoid and sure ways to fail: ➡️ Opening a business without an idea ➡️ Being a know it all/undermining people ➡️ Taking advice from gurus on YouTube ➡️ Sitting at home and not experiencing life ➡️ Having no respect for others, this burns bridges and will literally get you nowhere
Final tip: ➡️ Your business/product should improve the lives of others. If you try to make money off of cheating/taking advantage of others it’ll come down on you fast, and why do that anyway? Don’t be another scummy business fool.

Ooof.
Rejection accepted, at face value. (I get it. Fine.~~ Cya~~ never I guess.) I know you didn't intend it to be, but meeting you was formative as hell 😅 Unfortunately, I don't take rejection well. I need people who affirm me, and I get it. You're not one of those people. Consider the bridge burned. You got what you wanted...
I was trying to save you from this outcome. You see, you may look back, but I usually don't. Live life with no regrets. I was going to maybe reach out once, so as to know either way; but at this point I'm thinking L was right. I was ready to accept a stanza or two of the Dance here but, of course not. (Frustrating, isn't it? How are we meant to just be on the same page? We're different people, give me a break!)
But sincerely, thank you for trying. It does mean a lot to me that you did, for so long. More than you know. If that was what you needed to hear
If you wanted someone in perfect harmony with you from the get-go: Keep looking. (Now which of us is living in fantasyland 😂).
['You have no idea what you passed on'](). That, or I end up being no one, just some anonymous happeh blob out there in the crowd
Woke up as Zee this morning; I can tell (specifically!) the ways this is dragging me back, and I'm not gonna dwell on it. Look forward to Operation Phoenix; it's mark the last you'll see of me. Enjoy the light show. I know I will. =D
Heeey young blood, doesn't it feel / Like our time is running out?
I'm not going to change you, of course; the only one to remix is myself.
And I'll rise again, to ever-greater heights.
Farewell, perhaps for the last time, Bee. I'll look forward to being that insane man rambling to someone who isn't there; and when people ask, I'll simply smile. (I won't tell them anything about you; your identity is safe. You're too important to me to risk me ever becoming Someone to put you at risk, jesus. I want your nightmare to end; I'll leave you alone.)
In every, and the only way I know how. :grins in digital-arson: I'll burn this bridge myself, show you how it's done. Make it so that it's impossible for me to feel that pang-of-hope every time I get to my inbox. in due time, you'll have no way of reaching me. It's simple Opsec. Who needed those email accounts, anyway. Bunch of spam, I'd been meaning to migrate for a while. =P
Anyways, aside from hypothetical-blazing-birds, I have plenty of actual shit to do.
Thank you for reminding me; you're right. The true history wasn't "he fell head-over-heels for a woman and moved to Germany"; it's "he became awesome, created a bunch of web stuff and then died". =D
You were one of the slices, and it's clear to me neither of us were ready. It's a shame we both had to be so final about it. (Maybe in time I'll regret writing this, but yes he was either Anx-Preooc or Fearful-Avoidant when he met her; they felt kindred but were never meant to be; and after that he always carried that wound in his heart, until he met... [someone else. I probably haven't met her yet.])
So it is written. :grins in Den-scribing: oooo. Enscribing. Interesting, could do something with that. (It's too cheesy for him to call it that himself; or for me to call the action that. It has to show up someplace weird enough for it to make sense.)
Truly, might be the last time I get to speak to you. It's the principle of explosion, Bee: There was simply too much to say. I wanted to give you a universe of possibilities in lieu of (and perhaps as) a bouquet of flowers; and I'd figure out how to do it, too. (I already know, and I just came up with that: Write about as many Lifetimes as I can think of on origami paper; fold them into flowers, make a bouquet and hand it to you. And now you see it, right?! Take the impossible, bridge it with the eminently-doable-yet-insane, and then do it! THAT'S who I wanted to be! Remind me to tell you [...except that we're likely never going to speak again, and the you-in-my-head rarely if ever tells me anything interesting, it sucks, I wanted to know actual-you :/] what I'd wanted to do for that Valentine's Day.)
So I smile and say something simple_ because there is, quite literally, nothing I could say that would express a lifetime of joy and universe of possibilities I wanted to fold into origami-flowers and hand to you. So I smile, and say... Later, Bee.
I won't make the same mistake again, I promise. The next woman I ask to have fall for me, will be able to see a bit of my variety, but not the depths of my what my passion for her feels like, until we're both ready. 😀
I could've done a lot more than I did in this situation, but determinism; I Was Only Ever the person who could've done exactly as he did in this universal soup of atoms. What I can do is Affect what I do next. I'm not going to keep making the same mistake, keep dwelling. (He says, after having said finally-goodbye about four times in the last thirty minutes 😂)

But really, if I do forego snacking whatever and especially I'm very active, I'm starving by night time then just eat a ton and like my weight never really changes.
As a side note, I probably consume like 1000 calories a week worth of alcohol but how much of a difference can 1000 calories really make? It doesn't cause me to otherwise eat poorly it's like 2-4 a few times a week measured units. But end of the day it's all calories right, does 1000 make a difference? 35 y/o male 198 pounds in morning 5' 10.5" pretty muscular, in shape but lil belly for sure. Goal is like 185 last weight I remember in college ha.

After a few tries I finally finished these 40 days of doing the practice twice a day, and I didn't experience any noticeable effects of it - no feeling blissful, no unusual sensations, no feeling energized after practices, no miraculous changes they told about during IE, I also didn't feel anything during initiation. I remember Sadhguru saying something about how besides doing it mechanically correct, one should also "let it happen to you" and some people here say having a "devotion" is important, which is another very vaguely used term I don't understand.
I know how some of you here like say that nobody should have expectations, but this is a matter of figuring out whether it works or not, and during IE they did say certain things should happen. Didn't Sadhguru said himself that we shouldn't just believe, but treat it as a tool? That we should try it and see if it works, and if not we should just drop it. If all these things are true, I want at least some little sign that i'm moving in the right direction.