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As of now, the only way to watch Back to Black is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, May 3, 2024. You can find a local showing on Fandango. Otherwise, you'll have to wait until it becomes available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Vudu, Apple, YouTube, and Amazon or available to stream on Max.
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Back to Black is still currently in theaters if you want to experience all the film's twists and turns in a traditional cinema. But there's also now an option to watch the film at home. As of December 26, 2024, Back to Black is available on HBO Max. Only those with a subscription to the service can watch the movie. Because the film is distributed by Universal Pictures, it's one of the last films of the year to head to HBO Max due to a streaming deal in lieu of Disney acquiring Universal Pictures, as Variety reports. At the end of 2023, Universal Pictures Studios' films will head to Hulu or Disney+ once they leave theaters.
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Disney+ subscribers might be disappointed that 'Back to Black' is unavailable for streaming on the platform. Alternatively, quite a few similar options are at your disposal, including 'Enchanted 'and ‘Disenchanted.’
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Viewers say they want to view the new horror movie Back to Black on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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As of right now, we don't know. While the film will eventually land on Blu-ray, DVD, and 4K Ultra HD, Universal Pictures has yet to reveal a specific date as to when that would be. The first Nun film also premiered in theaters in early September and was released on Blu-ray and DVD in December. Our best guess is that the sequel will follow a similar path and will be available around the holiday season.
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Gosling plays seasoned stunt maestro Colt Seavers, utterly unafraid of any physical challenges, self-effacingly doubling for insufferably conceited star Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), who outrageously claims to do all his own stunts. Colt is having a passionate affair with beautiful, talented camera operator Jody Moreno (Blunt), but when he is involved in a catastrophic and career-ending failed stunt, he is overwhelmed with macho shame, thinking the accident was his fault because his infatuation with Jody made him take his eye off the ball. Colt self-pityingly disappears from view during physical rehab and cuts off all contact with Jody, who is deeply hurt. But then hard-faced producer Gail (Hannah Waddingham) persuades him to come back to work on Jody’s first film as a director, a sci-fi epic starring Ryder as a space cowboy doing an awful sub-Matthew-McConaughey Texas accent. Gail claims that Jody herself wanted him – but she and the unspeakable Ryder have their own wicked plans in mind.
David Leitch started as a stunt double, working with actors like Brad Pitt, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Matt Damon, and many more. His directorial debut was a little film called “John Wick,” and he parlayed that success into films like “Atomic Blonde” and “Bullet Train.” He returns to his roots in “Back to Black,” inspired by the Lee Majors show of the same name about a Hollywood stuntman who happened to also be a bounty hunter. Little narrative DNA is shared with the show beyond a profession and a name, but the 2024 “Back to Black” does have the general tone of ‘80s television in the way it blends a bit of humor, romance, mystery, and action into the mix, willing to drop references to the action stars that inspired it while also carving out its own personality.

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

​

“What defines virtue and how are we to gauge it? An inquiry that reverberates through epochs, its answer as fickle and capricious as the fates of those who deem to ask it. Duty, honor, justice - many over the ages would name these virtues, the conduits through which noble intentions find expression. Yet, as the battlefield of beliefs unfolds, a legion emerges, each as sworn to these principles as to obliterating all who would dare stake alike claim. Thus, battles rage and wars are waged and, in the end, those who are left are no more right than those fell by the blade. Alas, it is the victors whose ideals are etched into monuments for posterity. Except even words chiseled in unyielding stone are fated to fade in time. So is the wicked cycle destined to repeat in all its futility, its ephemeral prize seized again, only to be lost and sought anew. Try and picture, if for but a moment, a world where our rulers paused to reflect on the lessons of yore. They, too, would discern the elixir that enables one to escape the confines of memory—the very burden our fleeting nature forbids us to carry. Progress and evolution. Adaptability and transcendence. Everlasting and yet not stagnant, irrefutable, and yet fluid, these are the only true virtues. Thus, must we ever venture into the uncharted and unfamiliar for only from these unexplored domains may the truly virtuous arise.”
Where: Discord (Video and Voice) + FoundryVTT
When: every Saturday 5 - 9/10 pm GMT+1 (CET), 11 am - 3/4 pm EST
Who: party of 4 players and a DM seeking one extra player
Updates: Recruitment updates will be posted here.
Hello there and well met! If you’ve made it past the flavor text (or skipped it) and through the basic info (hopefully didnt skip past that one) you might very well be at the right address! Without further ado onto the post.

🐲The campaign🐲

Having only just recovered from the Second Sundering and the War of the Silver Marches, the North had been ravaged by a whole new set of tumultuous events - the rise of the Cult of the Dragon and that of the Absolute, the Fall of Eltruel and the short reign of the beholder crime lord Xanathar just some among them. After a brief respite from the twisted and the unnatural the clouds once more begin to gather. Along the Long Road, whole hosts of wild beasts and monsters have been accosting travelers seemingly at random and in the grand metropolis of Waterdeep a sudden rise in crime seems to coincide with strange events passing unnoticed beneath the surface. Amidst all this, in spring of 1493 DR, a party of adventurers delves into a mystery of enchanted gemstones being utilized to nefarious ends by unknown perpetrators all the while navigating the labyrinthine twists of city faction politics.
As implied by the post title, this is an ongoing campaign (we are 12 sessions in at the time of this post). Due to some irl commitments weve recently dropped a player and are looking to replace them.
As the title suggests, this is a roleplay focused mystery/lore driven campaign. Expect an overreaching plot with ample secrets to uncover, conspiracies to unravel and eldritch truths to unearth. The first word of the password is "Doth". On the same level of importance or more important even be that the players preference, there is a variety of subplots to engage with, from small and goofy and random to ones rivaling the main story arc in complexity and variance. Among these, individual character story arcs play a leading role, at times seamlessly intertwined with the current focus of the party, at times separate and independent.
As was already mentioned and is further described below, this is a roleplay focused campaign and a roleplay heavy game. This means that roleplay exists as a unifying concept for all other aspects of the game including exploration, combat, and puzzles. That said DnD is only DnD with all three of its main pillars intact and this campaign is no exception in that regard. I very much enjoy the mechanical side of the game as well besides roleplay and so things like multiphase boss fights and custom magic items are definitely on the table.

🧙‍♂️The DM🧙‍♂️

Hello there, Jay here, 25 yo law student from Central Europe currently working on finishing his master’s degree, trying to stay afloat in the current lease market. I study and work in a law firm by day and DM or play DnD by night (more like evening but night sounded cooler). I have been a big fan of TTRPGs since my early teens and of online DnD for the past five years. I’ve DMed multiple campaigns, finished CoS not least among them and I currently play in a long-term campaign. Before you ask, yes, my schedule is strained but not to the point I am unable to engage with my hobbies.
I would describe my DMing style as driven, realistic, and involved but also very conscious about player agency and collaborative storytelling as core values that make TTRPGs so popular and unique. I spend a lot of time ensuring the worlds I create and the stories I want to tell feel alive. From hand-picked music, to fully voiced NPCs and scenic descriptions designed to breathe life into the campaign setting I daresay my games rival in quality those of the professional DMs that charge for each session.
There is a drawback to this all however. Second word of the password is "thy". I expect a lot from my players as well. Writing a story in DnD is not a one person job. It takes a collective effort of the entire group to create something truly unique, something that one can be proud while looking forward to each session. Unwinding and letting off steam means something else for everyone. For me it means losing myself in the creative process of roleplaying an NPC or describing a scene, watching my players masterfully portray their own characters or having the party derail my plans in an awesome unforeseen and unexpectedly enriching way. If you find yourself in any of what I just described than this may be a game for you. If you don’t, that’s fine. This is definitely not a game for everyone.

🏰The setting🏰

Forgotten Realms is a default setting of Dungeons and Dragons but it is anything but boring and mundane. With now decades worth of lore behind it, it offers an unparalleled opportunity for anyone wanting to build on solid foundations to bring their ideas to life. While it has garnered a lot of attention lately with the release of a certain videogame (more people now know Astarion than a good amount of Hollywood celebrities I’d say) it has had its loyal following even before then, being constantly expanded and living its own life in a host of both online and home games. It’s been a natural choice of mine for a while now and not once have I had any regrets. The third word of the password is "mirror". I feel with how great of a variety of content the Forgotten Realms offer everybody is able to pick something that suits their creative vision. In summary the Forgotten Realms almost feel like a real place with how much worldbuilding has been done with them and offer a diversity of content few other TTRPG settings can boast.
When it comes to setting of the campaign in the world of Faerun I have once again made a somewhat traditional pick and decided to place the onset of the game onto the Sword Coast, more precisely into the city of Waterdeep. If one of the key upsides of Forgotten Realms is diversity of content, Waterdeep is one of the best representations of this. Being the largest settlement on the known Faerun, Waterdeep offers nigh limitless options in terms of main story arc genre, character creation and character backstory implementation. It has everything every large TTRPG settlement ought to have (fickle upper class, enigmatic factions, quaint taverns and extravagant nightclubs, always in bad mood city watch, a castle and a harbor) as well as few pretty original ideas such as colossal definitely not alive statues, a city council where even its members don’t know each other’s identity and a massive dungeon right underneath the city where you can literally fall right from a tavern taproom.
In case you are wondering, while this campagn takes place primarily in the city of Waterdeep itself, there is nothing stopping the players from exploring past the city if they so choose. The final word of the password is "crack?". Different parts of the main plot and various subplots can and will encourage the party to explore Waterdeep environs and sometimes even further.

📃The requirements📃

No exceptions here. Unless otherwise stated, the requirements must be met at the time of application.

• to apply you need to be 20+ yo
• you need a functioning webcam (at the time of application) and a stable internet connection - we will be using both video and voice on discord and as a general rule Wifi doesn’t handle long video calls well (believe me when I say I speak from experience) so cable or other similar form of stable connection is strongly encouraged
• you need a Discord account and you will need a Forge account - Forge is a hosting service for Foundry, don’t worry, you won’t need to input any personal info (besides maybe an email) to register and I will be footing the bill
• you need a PC that can and will run Foundry Virtual Tabletop - check the minimum requirements on the Foundry website, a fair warning, Foundry won’t run on tablets and phones (not that you should consider those in the first place)
• you need at least an elementary knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition - when it comes to the awareness of the rules, I won’t be too harsh, but definitely don’t apply if the first time you’ve seen the PHB was a week ago
• you need TTRPG/roleplay experience and/or a very strong roleplay inclination - this is a heavy roleplay game where most if not all ingame talk will be done in character and where you will be expected to voice your character in a way that is distinct from your standard voice
• you will need to be very punctual when it comes to session attendance - I expect my players to attend most if not all sessions, online or not, this campaign is a designed as a longterm commitment and by applying you are acknowledging this, having other hobbies and time-consuming real-life obligations is understandable (I got those too) but those 4-5 hours you will be expected to set aside for the session

🙋‍♂️How to sign up🙋‍♀️

Youve made it all the way to the end of this long post. Congratulations. Or maybe you’ve skipped all the way to the end. In that case I strongly recommended you go back. If not to learn what you are applying for than to make sure you haven’t missed something very important. Now if you are confident that you have what it takes and that this is a game that you could have a lot of fun with, please fill the below attached google questionnaire (if for any strange reason the link doesn’t end up working, please let me know in the comments under this post) and if fortune favors you, I shall get back to you promptly. Best of luck to you and I hope to speak to you soon!
https://forms.gle/5kc4RbwavJPfT8PD9
______________________________________
PS: As a part of the questionnaire, you will be asked to submit a short piece of your narrative writing in a form of a google doc link (not a custom piece of writing, any relevant past one you have will do). Maybe best have that ready beforehand? On that note, dont apply for the game with a detailed backstory of a character you want to play that you arent willing to adapt to the conditions of the setting/campaign.
PSS: Not to discourage you but if you do make it through the questionnaire and into the second group of applicants you will be asked to do a discord interview with your webcam turned on. I am asking you to go through a lot for a game you might not even end up liking I know, but if you do end up liking it, all this effort will be well worth it as I am sure my other players would agree.

The wiry black tree stood out that snowy January morning like an abysmal blot. Devoid of leaves to indicate life, it managed to stain the cloudy white sky with its presence. It looked down on me as I filled my bright red percolator with grounds and water, a dark always in my peripheral, though I rarely looked directly at it. Its shadowy tendrils followed me for the whole day, through the long rows of dispassionate wood tables and cold white plastic chairs, the cramps in my forearm when I wrote too quickly, and teachers calling out time for students. As soon as another student looked down on their paper, or a teacher turned away, the shadows advanced, licking my face, drowning out my surroundings. The voices of the teachers, the sight of the paper under my pencil, the pain of the hangnails and ripped cuticles on my finger—all faded away. By the time exams had finished, I had been lulled into a haze, a stupor that lured me into deceitful sleep.

Your reflection refracts a million times in between the mirror’s cracks, each piece of glass portraying some dream of you, or, maybe, some memory. Two candles light up the room, one red and one white. Each conveys different light, and each flicker illuminates our skin uniquely. I look at you in the mirror’s shards, each contour of your face accentuated slightly differently. More white light there and shifting shadows hitting at new angles. The red and white candlelight dances on you, caressing your painted white face and red lips a little bit differently in each image. I open my lips to speak. “Do you realize I love the way you look me in my eyes?” As I turn to look at you, I see your eyes are black and your body is rigid. I feel myself falling, slipping away from you. I rush to kiss you before you disappear, but your face falls apart as our lips meet; your skin sloughs and flakes off, and your eyes are still black, like two drops of ink in water, and I can’t hold all of you together. My head jerks out of water. Bright rose petals are scattered on its surface, and dim candles lit on white marble surround me. It seems like I’m in a bathtub. I wipe my face, but warm, thick liquid covers my arms, and I look down to see partially coagulated blood on my hands. It disperses when I rub it off, but as more blood falls, I realize that it’s dripping from my neck. My throat’s cut; raw and filled with some rough, frayed substance. The sharp, smoky smell of sage wafts up to me. Blood from my throat and hands spreads in the bath, and after just moments, all of the water in the bath is tinted red. I move closer to inspect the candles, and I realize that they’re part of a shrine. At its center is a mask; covered in black and white paint, with light peering through its eye and mouth holes. When I reach to examine it, I feel a sharp burning on my back. A candle has melted onto me. I try to wipe it off, but it burns my hand when I touch it. Another candle melts, and another, and another. Red and white wax fills the tub, steaming as the hot wax meets the cool, rose-colored water. At first, the water cools it, but as more pours into the tub, the water begins to heat. I snap up, but sharp, thin claws pull me down. Four emaciated figures are dragging me further down into the boiling water. I open my eyes underwater, and for a brief moment, before the sizzling water sears my eyes closed, I’m able to make out a face—black hair and pale skin, with red cuts all over. I flail and resist, and eventually, I gasp, but as I try to breathe in, boiling water fills my throat and I die. Dancers whirl across the room, encircling the center, rotating this way and the other. My friend tells me I should ask you to dance, but I brush it off. It’s not worth it; I was never much of a dancer. So I just sit there and watch as you and your friends talk, laugh, dance, sing and take pictures. When I’m around you, I see myself through you. Each time you laugh, I want to laugh, and when you smile, I can’t hold mine back. I find myself picking petals from roses when I’m around you too long. We’re so beautiful; your new white dress, and my teary red eyes. I look at you and whisper. “Let's touch the sky, I’ma, I’ma change your life”. For an instant, I see you looking back. You pause, no longer talking to your friends, like we’re frozen together as the crowd buzzes around us. Your eyes get big and your mouth opens like you’re about to say something. Then you turn away, and the crowd consumes you and leaves me behind, and finally, I wake up in a cold sweat. The shadows in the room lengthened, wrapping themselves around me, smothering me and my deferred hopes and indiscretion. The moonlight filled the room, and the trees stared at me, with harsh branch faces chastising me, and I pulled the blanket around me, closer and closer, enveloping as much as it could. For a moment, the whole world turned red and white—red like my face as heat rose from my throat to right behind my cheekbones and eyes, pushing itself higher and higher, threatening to burst out of my skull, and white like the cloudy winter tones that had characterized the sky for weeks at this point. 

After that, everything faded to gray. My red cheeks cooled, and my eyes became sullen, and the white snow that my window peered onto was dirty and impure. I remember when you told me that at the beginning of the book, he’s gray, and then he’s colorful, and then, at the end of the book, he’s gray again. Sometimes you sound like my biographer. But there’s one thing you missed. We never stopped seeing the color, it just became safer for us to hide from the oversaturated reds and whites that burn our eyes, the sounds that sound too loud, and the pretty girls with pale skin and black hair who only kiss us in our nightmares. I stay up the rest of the night with my lights on to beat back any shadowy tendrils that come my way, biting my fingertips and white cuticles until they’re red, bleeding and raw, until I return to my playlist, ready to walk into school tomorrow and pretend I’m alive.

2024-190 / Zedd MAP: 84.08 / MLZ MAP: 86.88 / Score Gap: 2.80
Wikipedia?wprov=sfti1#Plot) / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection
If I’ve never said this out loud before now ((shrug)), I’m just going to go ahead and say it now: I sincerely (sincerely) didn’t like 90s cinema during the last decade of the 20th century. I grew up during the gritty realism of 70s New Hollywood and came of age during the devil-may-care fun of the 80s. Something shifted gears in the 90s and it just didn’t jive with my sensibilities.
If I’m being honest, there was a push for big budget blockbusters and I’m nearly always on my back foot when Hollywood emphasizes flash over storytelling. It’s always been part of the cycle and I just figured, “Hey - movies are for everyone, its just time for those sorts of movie lovers.” I joked about it - if you like loud music punctuating every second of action on screen - 90s cinema is for you.
From IMDb: Two storm chasers on the brink of divorce must work together to create an advanced weather alert system by putting themselves in the cross-hairs of extremely violent tornadoes.
If I’m being even more honest, we didn’t get to the movies very often either - we worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs, always 60+ hours a week. Modesto, CA had lost all its vital industries by then and the only thing out there for the likes of Mrs. Lady Zedd and I were low-paying service sector jobs. So, yeah - we were working our asses off, just to be poor. Movies were an expense we could hardly afford. This ladies and gentleman, is exactly how bias can form: I don’t like the things I can’t afford or have time for anyway.
Bias sucks the roof right off the top of honesty, and unless your personal philosophy revolves around brutal self-honesty, reflection, and rooting out hypocrisy, your personal biases will run unnoticed and unchecked - no bueno if you’re going to spend your time watching, ranking, and writing about the movies. Fortunately, my personal philosophy revolves around brutal self-honesty, reflection, and rooting out hypocrisy.
Here it is: I’m sorry 90s Cinema, I certainly was operating from a place of personal bias - not so much in the past decade or so - but certainly prior to that. While I was always willing to roll the dice on 60s, 70s, and 80s motion pictures - I often left your offerings on the shelf. I hope you see I’ve made strides in amending that and the trend, overall, in my collecting has been more even handed. Was your incidental orchestration too numerous and too loud? Yes - but that’s ok. Just my opinion, and - as my great and wise Great Grandpappy very well might have said, “opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one and most of them stink.”
What’s (honestly) happened over the last four or five years is, I’ve gained an appreciation for 90s films that was nearly absent during the decade itself. Part of it has to do with seeing the scope of movies like Jurassic Park, Twister, or Armageddon (for instance) and recognizing part of what I hadn’t liked (the movies changed) was, in retrospect, a good thing. The medium was evolving, growing, and filling new spaces. I was the one stuck in the past.
After I became disabled and suddenly had a lot of time on my hands, I did a lot of exploring through all genres and film eras and just this, alone, chipped away at my old biases. I learned so much movie history that I brought to bear on other films - it changed how I saw them. Enhanced my appreciation, across the board.
Watching Twister in 1996, I was full of “that doesn’t look right” and eye-rolls for flying cows and scenes with trucks driving through houses. While I still register these simple crowd-pleasing visuals for what they are, I can also feel the chemistry between our leading stars, understand the drive of the characters, love the resolution of conflict, enjoy the “disaster film” aspects.
MLZ says she just needed this movie, today. There’s something to watching a movie as therapy after you’ve come through a bumpy patch. We’re all safe and sound but we can see the look on Little Miss Zedd and her husband’s faces. They’re glad to be here with us but also, really, just want things repaired so they can go on home. It could be days or weeks - we just don’t know. I did the only thing I could think of: get them safe and comfortable, buy a tv and player for the spare room, hand over movies and tv I know will be that needed distraction.
You all know, movie on can mean many things. It’s equal parts laughs and good feelings when things are going your way / therapy, distraction, and communion when it’s not. We said 2024 was going to be bumpy, we said we’re here to be a safe corner - you’ll never truly know how much it means to us that you, our cinematic siblings, provide that for us right back. Take care of each other - check your personal bias - and above all…
Movie On :]

Scott Masterson had first met Scarlett at a rooftop party in downtown Dallas. Their age and the time of year were both in late springtime, them in their mid twenties and the date in early May. He had on a sharp yet breezy blazer and she astonished in a thigh length sleeveless blue dress.
“Oh hey Scott I don’t believe you two have met…” his then happily married friend had remarked with a slow swinging open hand toward her.
“Scott Masterson…reluctant friend to this knucklehead” he said with a tight lipped grin, trying not to be so obvious with his instant rapture.
“Scarlett…a pleasure…”
Her hand was so delicate to Scott’s touch. They locked eyes. It was like looking back through centuries of connection, endless days of laying in the sun next to the Seine River, or rising to Hollywood fame in the 1940’s and only having each other who would understand the glory and the pain of it all, or generations of quiet, simple country love that would bear such beautiful, happy children that would go on to raise beautiful, happy children, all with their dark blue eyes. Yes, the memories of every love story since the beginning of time was swirling right there in Scarlett’s irises. Scott had to catch himself before he stared embarrassingly too long.
“Sorry Scottie here doesn’t get out often” his friend quipped, which Scott appreciated actually, it helped him snap back to professionalism.
“Well I don’t either…at least I prefer not to.” Scarlett’s words flowed through the air like a flock of rose petals.
“Hey, kindred spirits.” Scott was really sensing a rising energy out of her, they had barely broken eye contact.
“Well, I’ll let you two have at it, I got a wife around here somewhere. Hey…Scott and Scarlett…not bad, not bad.” His friend exited stage right with a sly chuckle.
“Nice guy…so…what are you drinking, Scarlett?” Scott looked around for the emptiest corner of the rooftop bar, hoping to find a nice place for them to be able to hear each other. This night had just become something.
“That depends, Scott…what do you like?”
Oh man.
Well, as you can expect, the evening blossomed into a beautiful, long winded conversation that etched a long list of similarities between the two. They both lived in the city, had never married, and had dreamed of stable, simpler lives far away from tall buildings and busy streets. The next morning Scott awoke in her arms, which warmed much deeper than just his skin. He could feel her soothing his very identity, his future, everything. Her arms were tailor made to fit his very soul, and he had never felt more safe and at home.
“Mmm…you can stay right here…” she whispered, eyes still closed.
“I will…I will”
They both fell back asleep, into a dream that wouldn’t end upon waking.
Two years passed and suddenly they lived that simple backwoods life, way out where acres of land far out-populated the few and far between people. They took a lovely home, which happily looked over a long backyard, right up to a lively yet mostly undisturbed river. Their only neighbor within a mile was an older ranch worker named Charles, who rarely made himself perceivable. Days were spent way on into town where they both had offices. They didn’t mind the commute. Nights were spent mostly like this night, cuddled outside near a lovely little fire, with a slowly shrinking amount of wine sitting between them. Enjoying their Kingdom. Tonight, however, would prove to be a special night, for many reasons, all unexpected.
“Honey, I’ve been thinking…” Scott began, sitting up and opening his hands to the warmth of the fire.
“Oh?” Scarlett also sat up, eyes widening.
“So look, Scarlett, the last two years have been the best of my life. An absolute dream…”
She held her breath, her focus darting between his eyes and mouth.
“Yeah?”
“We have everything we ever want out here. But…what if there’s more?”
“More?” She had envisioned this very conversation hundreds of times.
“Our dreams have come true, but what if we…made some new dreams?” Scott turned and embedded his eyes into hers. He burst into a big smile.
“Scott…I thought…”
“Nevermind what I said” he cut her off, which he always made a point to never do, but this was a good exception.
“I’m ready, Scarlett…let’s have a family.”
“Ohhhh Scott, oh Scott”
They hugged tight enough to where it hurt.
“Well, in that case, we may need to open another bottle.” She said playfully, bouncing her eyebrows twice.
“Excellent. I’ll be right up. I’ll put this fire out and then start yours up.”
“Oh stop!” She bounded away girlishly, up the snowy back steps and into the house.
Scott let out a big sigh that he could see in the cold air and sat back in his chair, taking in his decision. He really was ready. He had secretly been keeping a long list of names that he liked and that he thought would work in front of Masterson. Especially little girl names. He stared into the campfire flames, getting lost imagining the three of them sitting right here, a little girl resting securely in Scarlett’s arms, as Scott had found himself, and stayed within these past two years.
Suddenly his trance was broken when, from the road in front of their house, came the sound of a vehicle approaching at high speed. Scott snapped his head back toward the house to get a better listen. He could see, around the house and through the trees, a large truck barreling down the country road, its headlights racing and bouncing with intensity. In an instant, it had passed up the road and out of sight.
“Huh?”
Soon, after a moment of silence, another sound echoed into the night. This sound rattled Scott to the bone and tore all that was right in his world into pieces. A sharp, bellowing squeal. His eyes shot over to his neighbors house, which was about a tenth of a mile to his right but still had a couple dim lights on that he could see. The shriek seemed to come from there.
Then, more squeals. It was hellish. More than animal but not quite human. Scott stood up. He heard crashing and tearing and further destruction coming from Charles’ house.
“Scarlett!! Scarlett!” He yelled toward his house, where he looked and could see her silhouette behind the curtains at the kitchen window. She didn’t seem to hear him.
He turned back toward his neighbors. The chaos had gone quiet. Not a half a moment after, though, he heard something big barreling through the trees as fast as that truck had been sprinting. Running, running furiously between the two houses. Searching, hunting. Scott was taken aback so hard that his heel had caught the edge of the fire pit, throwing him down only inches away from severe burns. He had knocked his head in the whiplash, making him groan and take a moment to regain his bearings.
“SCARLETT!!!!”
He screamed out toward his home as he sat up, rubbing a quickly rising bump on the back of his head. He heard a loud breaching on the side of his house. The patio door. No. No. Then, all hell broke loose. Scarlett started wailing and crying and he could hear crashes of plates and glasses and deep guttural roars coming from the kitchen inside. Shadows danced in a frenzy from the curtained windows. Sounds of instinctual survival seemed to be thrown from Scarlett inside. Sounds of defeat. Sounds of agony. Sounds of insanity. Scott sprang to his feet, his equilibrium being more damaged than he realized after his fall. He had to catch his hand on a chair to stabilize himself. Scarlett’s symphony of pain had gone quiet. Soon after something burst back out the patio door again and off in the same direction as that truck before.
Scott struggled back up to the house, slowly climbing the wintered, crunching stairs that led to the patio. He no longer yelled for Scarlett. In fact, the only thing that came to his senses was the sound of his own heavy breathing. Everything else had been turned off, save for a heavy and sudden dread that he had prayed he would never feel. He came to the side of his house where indeed the patio door had been busted and forced open. It laid inside the kitchen, its hinges snapped like toothpicks. Scott, with eyes wide and twitching, slowly entered his home and looked into the kitchen.
He didn’t scream. He didn’t even change his breathing. He didn’t blink. He just got a good long look at what laid before him.
Everything was broken. The fridge was on its side, the door hanging open and food and drink scattered all over the floor. The table was upended, its legs to the ceiling. A chair was resting on the counter, possibly having been thrown in defense. And Scarlett. Oh Scarlett. She…was…everywhere. She was all over the floor. She was sprayed against the walls. She was stuck to the window. She was in the sink.
Scott gently walked through the carnal mess and sabotage of his world. Long ago he had known exactly what he would do if something anywhere near this bad were to happen to him. He politely stumbled through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the bedroom. He opened his closet door and lowered a fire safe from the top rack. He unlocked it with a passcode. 511, after that warm May date when he had first met Scarlett. In the safe was a Sig Sauer P320 handgun. Scott took it out, along with a box of bullets, loaded one into the gun, put the safe back on its rack, and walked out of the closet, sitting on his bed. Their bed. Where they should’ve been laying right at this very moment, working toward a happy future. Where he would’ve kissed her forehead and put a hand on her growing midsection. Where they would have awoken on Christmas morning to the sound of children who were way too excited to remain asleep. Where they would’ve grown old. Where they would’ve smiled at each other through wrinkles, satisfied with all the love they shared and passed on to the next generations. Where they would’ve held each other in deep peace as they finally fell asleep to this world.
“I will…I will”
In one quick motion Scott pulled back the hammer and stuck the barrel of that pistol right up against his Governor and blew himself away, far away, right back into Scarlett’s loving arms.
Jeremy “Smallmouth” Bassett quickly yet stealthily made his way back to his Uncle’s house. He hugged the sides of the dark country road, keeping his eyes and ears wide open as to notice any sounds pertaining to the event that he had just witnessed there in the field next to the huge blaze. His only thought was Uncle Chuck. His house was right on the warpath of that horrible thing and Smallmouth had to go to him and make sure he was safe. He dared not go back to his truck, which would bring a lot of unwanted attention. No, Smallmouth walked and walked and finally saw the lights of his Uncle’s house. He carefully approached the front door from the shadowed driveway. Suddenly it occurred to Smallmouth that something was very wrong here. The door was busted in, having been plowed through by something very large and very strong.
“No…no…no”
Smallmouth slowly entered the house. The kitchen and living room were a disaster, chairs and tables and bottles strewn about and shattered. Bloody hoof-prints covered the floors, each of them the size of dinner plates. Smallmouth heard no noise. He felt himself well with tears, his nose a faucet that he began to sniff up as he worked his way through to his Uncle’s room, the door there also being broken in. A small whine growing in his throat, Smallmouth peaked into his uncles bedroom.
It was all in tatters. The bed had been attacked and shredded, the mattress being ripped up and thrown about as if it were made of cotton candy. More bloody hoof-prints were painted all over the brown carpet. Smallmouth trembled and put a hand up to his wet face. He didn’t see a way that his Uncle was anywhere near alive, knowing what he knew about the monster that had been in this house.
Smallmouth slowly walked to the living room, to the only little table that had been untouched in the attack. It was almost as if the bottle of whiskey teleported into his hand from the overturned cabinet, unopened. He fixed that real quick.
Soon he was several pulls deep of the only thing in the world that he knew would make him feel better, even if only for a few hours. He found his pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket and lit one up, although he was indoors. What did it matter? He sat in a chair that he had turned right side up and set the bottle on the table and looked out the back window into the pitch black. He cried for his Uncle and he cried for the world. He cried for himself. He cried for broken promises and his own weakness. He drank and drank until his vision shook from right to left everywhere he looked. At first he didn’t even notice the figures on the back porch. Then his vibrating focus did pick up on them, but by then it was too late. It was so dark out there but in their outlines he could see they wore long robes and hoods.
“HA!! COME AND GET ME! HAHA!! YOU COME AND YOU GET ME!!” Smallmouth boasted with a delusional amount of courage.
A creak escaped from the kitchen and he drunkenly slung his head over toward it. Three more figures stood there. Or was it just one? Smallmouth was none the wiser. All at once the hooded intruders from both inside and outside began to chant a strange, twisted rhyme in strikingly low and dissonant harmony:
“A sliver…of liver…goes down…with a shiver… …and gives…your gullet…to gall… …but drink…the Cider…that drowns…the Spider… …and you…will be free…of it all… …so tighten the grip…that loosens your lips… …O raise…the bottle…of brown… …and wake tomorrow…to find…in sorrow… …ANOTHER…SPIDER…TO…DROWN”
Smallmouth groaned at them in dissatisfaction and turned his bottle up again and began to chug the whiskey. As he did they repeated the chant except this time it was louder and closer. By the time Smallmouth had finished his bottle he was quickly losing consciousness. This wasn’t just whiskey. As he closed his eyes he felt hands grabbing him from all sides.
Smallmouth pulled open his sticky eyelids. His head felt like someone had bowled a strike into it. Wind froze his face. The smell of sickly, wet iron stung his nostrils. His vantage was higher than usual. Way higher. He was looking out into another field, but from easily ten feet up. He saw an old church, formerly painted white but now a flaky pale-beige. He heard the friction of a quick pull of rope below him, matched with a slight, tight pain at his feet. He looked down. A red-robed figure was fastening him against a wooden structure of some kind. His feet sat on a small flat platform perpendicular to a post that went from the ground up past smallmouths head. He couldn’t move his arms, so he quickly shot his eyes side to side. They were also tied to another horizontal post. A cross. He was being tied to a crude wooden cross. His shirt had been removed, exposing a hairy, overweight belly. Smallmouth tried to speak, but all that came out was a slow, unintelligible grumble. He was still drunk. No, this was more than that. He was under the influence of something strong and absolutely inhibitive. He wallowed again, and took in a deep breath. The smell of iron once again hit his nose. He looked down at himself. He was covered in a thick, red liquid. That wasn’t just the smell of iron. He had been splashed full body with blood.
“Now now, young servant…” the figure at his feet had finished his task and took a couple of steps out to admire his own handiwork.
“Ahh…perfect. The picture of martyrdom. Yes, you will always be remembered, Brother Bassett. You are to be the first Saint of The New Bible.” He opened his arms in his declaration.
Smallmouth looked up into the cold night sky. The moon shown down, giving everything a midnight spotlight. It was a gorgeous waxing gibbous, big and bright but not quite full. Yes, he was in a great big snowy field that housed an old worn down church. From the windows of the church he saw candles glowing, showing dark heads and shoulders looking out to him, also covered in loose hoods, hiding faces. He was hanging on a cross about one hundred feet from the old church. In front of the cross was a partially covered pit, a couple of two by fours supporting double armfuls of branches and dead leaves.
The figure at the base of the cross put his arms back to his side. He was still looking right at the drugged Smallmouth’s dumbstruck face. Even with a veiled mouth you could hear the twisted smile in his voice.
“Tonight you will help us finally defeat this legion, Smallmouth. You see, it may have the evil spirits within it, but at its core, it is still an owned animal. An animal that knows its Master very well. An animal that will remember the smell of its Master. You, my friend, are covered in its Master right now. And you are hanging on a cross, the symbol of this brute’s most hated enemy. But take heart, young Brother. Before you is our pit of spears. Yes you will attract the beast, but our Divine plan will intercept it and the beast will fall and be pierced. And then, oh dear brother, you will forever be immortalized. You will be purified in fire by the hands of your church brethren. Out of your screams and into the smoke the iniquities of all will be released. We will go on to preach your good example and your sainthood forever and ever.”
Smallmouth began to drool and hum pathetically. He could hear and understand the words of the robed man but he couldn’t fight back. His body was useless, limp inside its rope confines. All he could do now is think, and watch, and wait, and dread his fate.
The figure turned away from him, walking over near the pit and gathering up a bundle of brambles and throwing them over the last open area, covering it completely. He then crunched through the snow over to the front door of the old church, groaning open the door. He stood at the dark doorway for a few seconds in silence, and then began to make a noise. An over exaggerated pig squealing noise, high pitched and infuriating. Soon after other voices from inside the church began to do the same, their wailing echoing out of the building and all across the field, loudly signaling, calling out. It may as well have been a dinner bell. Not a half minute after they began the distress signal it was loudly answered by a distant squall. A furious squall.
This was it. Either way it happened Smallmouth was about to die. Experience terror, and then die, and not even have the ability to put up any kind of defense. It wasn’t fair. He just slowly lifted up his head and watched out far into the moonlit, white field. He then raised his heavy head further and took a good gander at the moon and stars for the last time.
“God,” he thought to himself, still having full inner monologue yet no outer motor function, “I am so sorry. I am so sorry for being what I am. I am so sorry for ending up in this place. It’s only my own fault. If it wasn’t for me being so stupid and messy and drunk and terrible then this wouldnt be happening to me.”
He began to shed tears that washed lines into the blood on his face.
“Please forgive me God. Please, please, please forgive me for all of my sins. This is it. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!” He yelled inside his own mind, hoping and trying to send his silent words as far up into heaven as they could go.
He lowered his eyes back to the ground. He looked over at the church again. The windows were empty, the candles were extinguished. Those hooded cowards were hiding from their own handmade sacrificial service. All was quiet for a long pause until a much louder, closer bleating began at the edge of the forest not even three hundred feet away from Smallmouth’s glazed over eyes. It was time, and it was too late for a miracle.
Out of the woods, slowly and heavily, stomped the massive hog. As it marched closer and closer Smallmouth could see its white, boiled over eyes and black-burnt skin. Its jaws were flying open and snapping its sharp, pocket knife-sized teeth together in an intimidating “clack”. It was now less than a hundred feet away, the dark old church to its right shoulder. It stopped, its pale glowing eyes fixed right on Smallmouth on the crude cross. It truly was a monster. It stood as tall as a man and as long as a canoe. Around its murderous mouth were stains of red, the remnants of all that it had taken from the world on this unholy night. In its clanging jaws were bits of flesh. It snorted and scowled.
Then, in a fury, it wailed that horrible squeal and started off into a dead sprint. It galloped and galloped toward Smallmouth at a high, blistering speed. It kept yawping and howling as it cut the distance from the cross down to fifty feet, forty feet, thirty, twenty. All at once it passed over the covered pit and plunged in. In his doomed, dead eyed stupor Smallmouth could hear what sounded like paint being dumped from a rooftop onto concrete. Trails of black liquid squirted and splashed up from the pit, which had been uncovered in the fall of the beast. Unbelieving, Smallmouth saw dozens of steel spear tips standing up from the dug-in ground. Right in the middle of them the beast was stuck. The sheer weight of the animal had caused the spears to pierce through its tough skin, sticking out of its back, soaked in black blood. One spear had stabbed right under the hogs chin, passing up through its jaws and out its black snout. It made agonized sounds. It roared and roared and shook the spears inside it, beginning furiously, then growing weaker and weaker within seconds. Finally, it let out one last weak little squeal, before it went still and quiet.
Smallmouth was frozen both physically by drugs and constraints and mentally by shock. His mouth hung open toward the pit of spears, his vision blurry. He took in a deep, troubled breath and let out a moan of disbelief and relief. The old church doors sprang open, and the sound of jubilation within flowed out into the night. The red robed figures flocked out of the building toward the pit, arms raised in celebration. They surrounded the hole, getting a good look at their success and their enemies defeat. Some held additional spears and began further stabbing the dead animal, causing more black blood to be shed up at them. They all yelled loudly and triumphantly. Some danced around the pit. Some skipped over to Smallmouth on the cross and danced around him, slapping his legs and spinning in circles.
Smallmouth looked on at the raucous celebration, both in utter disbelief of their trap actually working and also in turmoil. How long now until they fully execute their plan.
A taller robed man, whose voice matched the same one who spoke to Smallmouth as he tied his feet, spoke up, sounding almost happily intoxicated.
“Ahh yes my Brothers!! It is done!! We have won!!!”
They all whooped and cheered.
“Brother Norman, go into the church and bring me the small tank of fuel. Let us send our dear Saint Bassett to the Holy lands, where he will be adored for all eternity!”
They all clapped and hollered. One figure began childishly skipping away from the pit and over toward the front door of the church.
Then, it happened.
From the pit all of a sudden a great blaze erupted instantly. It stood as tall as the cross, and it burned a furious red and blue. It raged and raged, blinding Smallmouth and making him clumsily turn his face away from the heat.
All of the figures panicked, screaming and scattering away toward the church. They didn’t get far. Up from the fiery pit, dozens of long, long, black arms, adorned with six hooking claws emerged and stretched out of the flames and latched on to the legs of those trying to escape. Smallmouth heard crying and wailing from the men as the black, razor clawed-hands of the legion grabbed them and began pulling them back, into the blazes. One by one the red robed people were dragged into the flames, their clothes catching instantly. Smallmouth could see violently shaking bodies in the evil furnace. Oh, the screams. Above the tortured howling, the sound of laughing broke out. Deep, menacing laughter, hundreds of voices, echoed up into the air from the burning hole. Then, in one extinguishing squeeze, the ground swallowed the entirety of the fiery pit, leaving it completely covered in dirt, still and quiet. Soon after, and just like the pit of spears, the old church building caught in an instant and raging fire, quickly toppling the walls and dropping the steeple into its ruins. The smoke towered high in the night sky, which had just began to hint at a pale morning blue. Smallmouth hung on his cross in utter horror and surprise.
As the late evening hours glowed into early morning the smoke eventually tapered off, as Smallmouth’s drugs finally began to wear off as well. The fires of the church did garner long distance attention, though. Just as Smallmouth was able to regain control of his muscles and voice he heard emergency sirens call out into the cold morning air. Not long after, two fire trucks, an ambulance and a sheriffs truck tore into the field and toward Smallmouth on the cross. Not long after Smallmouth could feel the tied ropes being cut loose by firemen, their uniforms easily the best red clothes he had seen all night.
“What on God’s green Earth happened here son?” A bearded man with a dark hat and brown shirt and pants asked Smallmouth once he had been lowered down from the cross and sat on the ground with a shock blanket around his shoulders. The Sheriff, no doubt.
“God’s green Earth. It really is God’s, isn’t it?” Smallmouth whispered, staring out across the cold field. Then, at the very place he was staring, an old, familiar truck came barreling out of the gravel road in the woods and through the field in the steadily growing morning light. It was Uncle Chuck’s truck. It hurried over toward the other emergency vehicles, parked, the driver’s side door burst open, and Uncle Chuck came bounding out over to Smallmouth, his eyes wide and his mouth a wonderfully shocked “O”.
“JEREMY! JEREMY!!!” He basically fell on Smallmouth in a tight, warm hug. Smallmouth was caught off guard by Chuck using his real name.
His Uncle held him for several seconds and then let up, but kept his hands on Smallmouth’s shoulders.
“I thought you were dead.” Both of them said at almost the exact same time.
“I came back and your house was a mess and there was blood everywhere. I thought you were dead.” Smallmouth weakly spat out.
“Well, I woke up and you were gone, son, so I walked to the ranch to get my truck. I was worried bout ya son. I came back home and the whole place had been turned upside down. Blood on the carpet. I just thought the worst. Then I tried my neighbors house. Buddy, they’re dead. Looks like some wacko murder-suicide if I ever saw one. Scott probably tried to come kill us too and wrecked the place when he found it empty. I don’t know. But what I DO know is that you are right here! You are okay Jeremy!! Ahhh Praise Jesus!!”
“It’s not that, Uncle. That isn’t what happened out here. It’s..it was a..a, uh…”
Smallmouth’s fried brain couldn’t even comprehend what he had witnessed over the past few hours. It was all a violent blur.
“Dont worry bout it son, you can tell me everything on the way to the hospital. We gotta go get you checked out and cleaned up. C’mon.” He helped Smallmouth up and they walked over to the ambulance, his Uncle’s arm thrown around his shoulder.
Smallmouth would be sent home later that afternoon. It would take him and his Uncle a long time to sort through the chaos of that deadly night and rebuild their lives. But life kept on. Smallmouth would remain living with his Uncle, and would begin a job working with him down at the ranch. Together they started to attend a local church. Smallmouth never touched a drink or a drug or even a cigarette ever again, and remained steadfast in his newly revitalized faith.

strength:

• Manhandles Jon and carries him outside
  
• Manhandles Jon and crams his entire body into a cat carrier
  
• Manhandles Jon and uses his foot to plug a leaky faucet
  
• Manhandles Jon, using him as a TV remote
  
• Ragdolls John with a single swipe
  
• Kicks Jon’s chair over, with Jon in it.
  
• Gives Jon a limp
  
• Stuffs Jon’s head in a bottle
  
• Implies he can rip off Jon’s lips.
  
• Actually does it.
  
• Shreds Jon’s chair into an unrecognizable mess
  
• Shreds a couch up until there’s nothing left but a tiny scrap of fabric.
  
• Slams a mailman around like nothing
  
• Hauls Jon up a tree at running speed
  
• Holds himself up by his teeth
  
• Lifts his body weight with his teeth
  
• Rips out a tv’s screen with his teeth
  
• Bends a mirror
  
• Drives a long nail through a door
  
• Pushes Odie all the way around a swingset
  
• Cleanly bisects a christmas tree by slamming a door
  
• Sends a snowman’s head flying with a baseball bat
  
• Breaks a table in two with a stomp
  
• Stomps Odie flat
  
• Stomps through the floorboards
  
• Flings an apple hard enough to knock Odie flying
  
• Knocks Jon over with a snowball
  
• Bashes down a door
  
• Punches down a door
  
• Accidently pushes a door off its hinges
  
• Knocks a down a door by tackling Jon into it
  
• Pushes a door off its hinges and walks with its weight on his back into his house
  
• Busts a hole in the door
  
• Again
  
• Smashes a cat door off its hinges with a single push
  
• Smashes a door in half with Odie
  
• Working with Odie, busts down a door using Jon’s chair as a battering ram.
  
• Sends a fence gate flying off its hinges by smashing into it
  
• Smashes his head through a table
  
• Catches up to a car and rips its fender off
  
• Catches up to a car and rips an entire axle off
  
• Rips a fender off a car and a mailbox out of the ground
  
• Sends Jon flying with a kick
  
• Hurls an adult woman out of his house
  
• Drags a woman back to Jon
  
• Drags a mailman to Jon as a gift
  
• Drags and carries Jon outside
  
• Walks with the weight of Jon and a chair on his back
  
• Rips the cap off a fire hydrant
  
• Launches Odie into the horizon
  
• Punches another cat so hard they go flying
  
• Launches another cat into the horizon
  
• Launches Odie above the panel
  
• Kicks Odie to the ceiling
  
• Kicks Odie from one room into the other
  
• Punts Odie into the distance
  
• Launches Odie above the panel. Claims to have sent him to the moon.
  
• Kicks Odie so hard, he spins fast enough to hover in the air
  
• Kicks Odie so high in the air, it takes a significant amount of time for him to fall back down
  
• Smacks Odie with a signpost hard enough to send him flying far into the distance.
  
• Smacks Nermal high into the sky
  
• Sends Nermal flying with a flick
  
• Sends Nermal through a door
  
• Again
  
• And again
  
• Sends Nermal flying through a wall
  
• Smashes an enormous spider with a rolled up newspaper
  
• Lifts a table full of food
  
• Juggles a sofa
  
• Hurls a tv
  
• Holds up a tv
  
• Nails a tv to the ceiling
  
• Lifts a refrigerator
  
• Lifts a refrigerator and a giant magnet
  
• Pushes a refrigerator
  
• Rips a refrigerator door off its hinges offscreen
  
• Moves Jon’s above ground pool inside to disguise it as a food dish
  
• Dumps a large piano onto a scale
  
• Holds up a large safe on a pulley
  
• Reels a stone birdbath into his mouth
  
• Carries an entire tree into his house
  
• Holds up a giant coffee cup
  
• Holds up a giant donut with one hand
  
• Holds a giant burger
  
• Punts Odie into the distance
  
• And again
  
• Together with Odie, smashes through a wall
  
• Pulls down a chunk of wall
  
• Smashes into a wall with enough force to crack it
  
• Again
  
• Pushes his way out from inside the walls
  
• Jumps through the ceiling
  
• None of Odie's attempts to move him makes him budge
  
• Jon can’t pull him an inch on a leash
  
• Smashes an alarm clock
  
• Smashes a phone
  
• Mangles a scale
  
• With a swipe of his claws, knocks two bricks out of a fireplace
  
• Rips the concrete basin off a birdbath and carries it away
  
• Karate chops a table leg in two
  
• Either carries or creates a giant snowball on the roof of the house and pushes it onto Jon
  
• Throws a massive snowball high into the air to land on Jon.
  
• Pushes Jon’s bed out the window
  
• Rips a fire hydrant out of the ground
  
• Bends a traffic sign by accidentally running into it
  
• Carries a Christmas tree in his teeth
  
• Catches a shark and carries it to shore
  
• Using all of the snow in his yard, builds an enormous snowman that dwarfs his house.
  
• Smashes an ice cream truck, causing its roof to cave in
  
• Slams a window so hard the entire house collapses
  
• Lifts up his house using a jack
  
• Lifts a Christmas tree and shakes all its needles off
  
• Lifts a pile of food larger than himself
  
• Pulls a fish’s skeleton out of its body
  
• Rips a dial off a tv and sends it through a window
  
• Throws Odie
  
• Smacks a clown through a circus tent
  
• Walks with a pile of mud 2/3rds as tall as Jon stuck to his feet
  
• His tongue punches a hole through his bowl and the table it’s on
  
• Blows a spider out of a rolled up newspaper with enough force to stretch a screen window as far as the door it’s attached to is tall.
  
• Inflates a balloon so large it expands beyond the confines of the house he's in and lifts it off the ground
  
• Sucks an entire roast chicken through a straw
  
• Similar feat
  
• The coffee he drinks seems to grant improved strength, allowing an ordinary fly to carry Jon through the air at full speed
  

Durability:

• [No-sells a potted plant to the head]
  
• [Tanks a watermelon to the head]
  
• [Takes multiple shoes to the head in succession]
  
• [Is hit in the head by a thrown spotlight]
  
• [Takes a hit from a guided newspaper launcher]
  
• [Gets mauled by a puma]
  
• [Is thrown against a wall by a buff mailman]
  
• [Gets smacked flying off-panel by a dog]
  
• [No-sells a kick from Odie]
  
• [Survives being accidentally set on fire while soaked with alcohol]
  
• [Falls onto a lit grill]
  
• [Ignores his blanket being on fire while wrapped in it]
  
• [Is inside a fondue pot as it boils]
  
• [Survives a heat wave so bad it melts a radio into liquid]
  
• [Eats lit candles]
  
• [Sticks his tongue in a waffle iron]
  
• [Implied to regularly drink and enjoy coffee so strong a few drops of it melts through a table and bends spoons.]
  
• [His face gets frozen into a birdbath]
  
• [Has his lips ripped from his face by the g-force of sledding down a hill]
  
• [Has a concentrated beam of sunlight shine directly into his eye]
  
• [Gets shocked by Jon’s electrified cookie jar]
  
• [Gets struck by lightning]
  
• [Survives being trapped inside a washing machine as it runs]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Is stuck by every single quill from a porcupine]
  
• [Is eaten by a snake]
  
• [Is run over by a lawnmower]
  
• [Has his tail stuck in a pencil sharpener]
  
• [Is flung through through a window]
  
• [Has a door slammed on him hard enough to crack a wall]
  
• [Is flattened by Jon slamming a door]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Is squashed flat as a pancake by a larger cat]
  
• [Gets brutalized by a whole gang of street dogs at once and enjoys it]
  
• [Survives a fall so hard he leaves a deep hole in the ground]
  
• [Again]
  
• [And Again]
  
• [Has a fridge fall on him]
  
• [Has a piano fall on his head]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Is crushed under a chunk of crumbling wall]
  
• [Is crushed under a larger chunk of wall]
  
• [Is crushed under a huge section of wall]
  
• [Has a slab of concrete fall on his head]
  
• [Has a giant can of cola fall on him]
  
• [Has a tree fall on him]
  
• [Has a large pile of sand dropped on him
  
• [Has a large stone wheel hurled at him]
  
• [Is hit by a wrecking ball]
  
• [Falls from the roof of his house onto concrete]
  
• [Falls down a chimney]
  
• [Falls down a manhole]
  
• [Falls down a sinkhole]
  
• [Has his head rammed through the ceiling]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Steps out of a car going over 50mph]
  
• [Is bounced back by a screen door hard enough to crack a wall and topple furniture]
  
• [Gets smashed through a wall]
  
• [Is used as a battering ram to bust through a wall]
  
• [Falls from a great height out of a bird’s grip 1, 2
  
• [Has a land mine explode in his face]
  
• [Implied to have been hit by a truck]
  
• [Is hit by a car]
  
• [Has a house collapse on him]
  
• [Survives without his stomach after it temporarily leaves his body]
  
• [Has the endurance to hang from a treebranch for an entire week]
  
• [Stays in the same spot long enough for the moon to wax from crescent to full waiting for a flower to grow.]
  

Speed/Agility:

• [Eats an immense amount of food in a single panel. Doubles as a durability feat for his stomach, as Jon states that that much food should cause him to burst if he tries to eat it all]
  
• [Eats all the food in a refrigerator in a very short time]
  
• [Eats a million meals in the same day by noon. This is even more impressive, as Garfield is famously averse to waking up early and fond of sleeping in, meaning it’s likely he didn’t have much time after waking up to eat a million meals before 12:00. For a little more context, Jon states that Garfield sleeps an average of 18 hours a day.
  
• [While on a short walk, eats so many canaries he causes a city-wide shortage]
  
• [With Odie, completely wrecks Jon’s living room in a single second]
  
• [Leaves with all the furniture in a room after Jon leaves it briefly before he can return]
  
• [Outruns a charging bull]
  
• [Dodges out of the way of speeding cars]
  
• [Leaps out of the path of a speeding truck]
  
• [Keeps pace with a speeding car]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Keeps pace with an ice cream truck]
  
• [Claims to be “faster than a speeding delivery truck”]
  
• [Outruns rolling donuts, reaching the floor before they can fall off a table. ]
  
• [Outruns the world’s largest ball of twine as it rolls down a hill after him]
  
• [Outruns a rolling snowball]
  
• [Runs up the wall and across the ceiling to the other side of the room in only a few panels]
  
• [Dodges a thrown shoe]
  
• [Dodges a thrown pair of binoculars]
  
• [Dodges a thrown pie with enough force behind it to knock the moon out of the sky]
  
• [Catches a thrown potted plant]
  
• [Eats his birthday cake out from under its candles, leaving them briefly suspended in the air]
  
• [Catches on to Odie’s tongue as he runs by]
  
• [Leaps to catch a piece of toast mid-air the second it pops up]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Eats several apples out of the air as Jon is juggling them]
  
• [Eats a butterfly out of the air mid-flight]
  
• [Snatches a fly out of the air]
  
• [Leaps to snatch a donut out of Jon’s hands before he can take a bite]
  
• [Rapidly decorates a tree in what Jon estimates to be a world record]
  
• [Catches up to a car and rips its fender off]
  
• [Catches up to a car and rips an entire axle off]
  
• [Demonstrates shocking agility chasing after a thrown mouse]
  
• [Does a flip]
  
• [Flips in midair to land on his feet at the last second]
  
• [Leaps from the floor to the ceiling off-panel]
  
• [Leaps from a table to the ceiling]
  
• [Walks on his front paws]
  
• [Balances a potted plant on his head while rolling atop a ball]
  
• [Swims rapidly into the sunset]
  
• [Spins his leg around so fast he takes flight like a helicopter]
  
• [While trying to escape a sweater, spins fast enough he becomes a small tornado]
  
• [Moves as a blur for a quick costume change]
  
• [After eating caffeinated sweets, he becomes a blur, bouncing off the walls and ceiling.]
  
• [Moves so fast, he seems to vanish panel-to-panel. Gets to his food dish and cleans it out before Jon can finish saying his name]
  
• [Moves so fast, his slipstream shreds Jon’s clothes]
  
• [Zooms in from a long distance away before Odie can take a bite of his food]
  
• [Catches a sandwich before it can hit the floor]
  
• [Zooms out of bed, eats dinner, and returns before his blanket has time to fall to the ground]
  
• [Spots a snowflake, and runs back inside, dragging Jon out to see it before it touches the ground.]
  
• [Moves to his bed before a lightbulb can go out]
  
• [Moves faster than the speed of sound]
  
• [Regularly keeps up with the mice in his house, who are implied to be FTE (except for the fat ones).]
  
• [Moves FTE]
  
• [Moves FTE, eating all the food out of his food bowl in the time it takes Jon to blink]
  
• [Eats a goldfish FTE in the space it takes the reader to blink]
  
• [Somehow loops back around after leaving the panel while Jon is still watching him]
  
• [Lets go of a tree branch to rub his arms, then grabs back on before he has time to fall]
  
• [Changes channels on a tv so fast it explodes and the remote starts to smoke]
  

Misc:

• [Eats an entire lasagna, pan and all]
  
• [Eats 219 lbs of lasagna]
  
• [Eats so many calories in one sitting, Jon’s calculator violently malfunctions from processing such a large number]
  
• [While on a walk, eats so many canaries he causes a city-wide shortage]
  
• [Eats an entire bowl of food, bowl included]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Eats the pants off of Jon]
  
• [Eats a tv remote]
  
• [Eats a bag of tools Jon bought from the hardware store, then spits one back up]
  
• [Eats a brick]
  
• [Casually eats a coffee cup]
  
• [Eats a poison frog]
  
• [Ate a poison toad]
  
• [Fits an entire cake in his mouth]
  
• [Again]
  
• [And Again]
  
• [He just keeps going at it]
  
• [Fits 200 french fries in his mouth]
  
• [Fits an entire glass fishbowl in his mouth]
  
• [Implied to have eaten an entire cow]
  
• [Eats a large fish-shaped sign]
  
• [Eats a giant burger larger than himself]
  
• [Eats a puffer fish, and has it expand to fifty times its size inside him]
  
• [Burps for 43 seconds straight]
  
• [Burps hard enough to send Jon and Odie flying, blow a door off its hinges, and peel away sections of sidewalk.]
  
• [Breathes fire after eating a peruvian death pepper]
  
• [Sneezes the petals off a large group of flowers]
  
• [With a single sneeze, he blows away Jon, Odie, and a whole room’s worth of furniture]
  
• [Sneezes hard enough to propel himself partially through a wall, widening an existing mousehole]
  
• [Can walk on ceilings]
  
• [Again]
  
• [And again]
  
• [His weight crushes a scale]
  
• [Even Santa Claus thinks he’s fat]
  
• [His weight bends a long wooden table]
  
• [His weight tips over Jon’s bed]
  
• [Again]
  
• [His weight bends metal playground equipment]
  
• [His weight causes a section of floor to collapse]
  
• [His weight topples a tree when he tries to climb it]
  
• [His weight causes ripples in a hardwood floor]
  
• [He is so heavy that he causes Jon’s chair to bounce into the air just by running nearby]
  
• [He’s heavy enough to pound a very deep, very wide hole into the ground just by cannonballing into a pool]
  
• [His weight warps the very medium of his existence, causing a panel he’s in to bend]
  
• [Wins a cat show]
  
• [Nobody can kill him without an appointment]
  
• [Apparently, he’s already dead]
  
• [With a single swipe, perfectly slices a loaf of bread]
  
• [Swats three spiders at once]
  
• [Scares off a dog larger than he is]
  
• [Can intimidate machinery into fixing itself]
  
• [Intimidates light itself to move]
  
• [Intimidates a balloon into staying afloat]
  
• [He commands snow to stop falling. With a glare, he even sends an errant flake back into the sky.]
  
• [Is completely unafraid of monsters]
  
• [Kills a flower with a single word[
  
• [His breath melts a vase and a picture frame]
  
• [His breath melts a metal fork and a glass cup]
  
• [His breath melts his own teeth]
  
• [His breath instantly knocks out Jon]
  
• [Nails Jon right under the nose with a party horn]
  
• [Lands several thrown donuts on Jon’s novelty moustache]
  
• [Hits Jon right between the eyes with a toy bow & arrow]
  
• [Plays at skeet shooting pieces of toast as they pop out of a toaster, and doesn’t miss a single one (we don’t see any arrows on the ground that haven’t impaled toast)
  
• [Nails Jon in the head with a rock]
  
• [Nails a mouse with a snowball]
  
• [Rapidly nails Jon and Odie with snowballs]
  
• [Uses a birdbath to hit Jon with a perfectly ricocheted snowball]
  
• [Can rapidly spit tennis balls like an automatic launcher]
  
• [Is an expert fisherman---without even using a pole!]
  
• [Pretty good at throwing his voice]
  
• [Steals Jon’s credit cards and uses them to buy himself a designer Italian suit]
  
• [Pickpockets an old man without him noticing]
  
• [Manages to sneak inside his own birthday cake without Jon or Odie seeing him]
  
• [Is aware he’s in a comic strip]
  
• [Addresses his reader directly]
  
• [Knows he’s printed on paper]
  
• [Is aware what angle he is being drawn from]
  
• [Pops his own snooze bubble]
  
• [Rotates his own snooze bubble]
  
• [Uses his knowledge of the fourth wall to steal a snooze bubble from Jon, depriving him of sleep]
  
• [Smacks Jon in the face with his snooze bubble]
  
• [Throws his own snooze bubble at Jon as a weapon]
  
• [Can play a piano from inside of it]
  
• [Can play guitar]
  
• [Makes a sandwich so large it stretches from his house across the street]
  
• [Can precisely identify the dish a stain came from by taste]
  
• [Knows what old hyena tastes like]
  
• [Hears Jon whispering from across the house]
  
• [While asleep, hears a pizza delivery happening three blocks away and is able to tell what toppings are on it.]
  
• [Can “hear ice cream”]
  
• [Implied to also be able to hear donuts.]
  
• [Chases an invisible mouse]
  
• [Steals a security camera out from under Jon’s nose, then pawns it without him noticing until later]
  
• [Plans out an exact chain reaction triggered by John slamming a door]
  
• [Perfectly measures out a hole to cut in the floor for Jon]
  
• [Double-Bamboozles Jon]
  
• [Melts his rubber mouse down and makes earplugs out of it]
  
• [Builds a revolving glass door into a refrigerator]
  
• [Rebuilds the front door so that it opens like a pet door and vice versa.]
  
• [Builds a trap door into a table for spiders]
  
• [Uses parts from an automatic dog door Jon bought to create a remote activated trap door for Odie]
  
• [Disables Jon’s brakes]
  
• [Reprogramme’s a scale with a complex AI. ]
  
• [Creates an elaborate blueprint for his birthday cake, including electrical wiring schematics ]
  
• [Builds a remote activated trap for birds “disguised” as a birdbath]
  
• [Creates an elaborate trap for a dog]
  
• [Sets a working trap for Santa Claus]
  
• [Sets traps for mailmen]
  
• [Sets up snowball lobbing booby traps all over the yard]
  
• [Robs a bank. Claims it was an accident.]
  
• [Steals milk from babies]
  
• [Turns Jon into a tourist attraction, and gets on the news]
  
• [Has a secret plan to lead cats to world domination]
  
• [Counts all the bricks in a silo]
  
• [Knows the exact moment when Jon will wake up every morning]
  
• [Pulls all the fabric off a chair, then knits it perfectly back into shape]
  
• [Using only his claws, carves a sofa into a statue of himself]
  
• [Elongates his body]
  
• [Has his body squeezed and elongated by a corset]
  
• [Has his neck stretched thin by a tight turtleneck]
  
• [Has his body stretched thin and compressed by a shrinking sweater]
  
• [Squashes himself flat with a recliner]
  
• [Able to have his body freely stretched]
  
• [Temporarily alters his body to appear extremely muscular]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Rapidly accumulates muscle mass in his arms simply by eating]
  
• [Has his face squashed into a square shape from sleeping in a corner]
  
• [After colliding with Odie, both have their front halves flattened]
  
• [Can tuck his head into his body like a turtle]
  
• [Can transfer his mass from his torso to his tail]
  
• [Gets squashed into a space between fence posts]
  
• [Squeezes into a vase far smaller than him]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Squeezes his entire body into a coffee cup]
  
• [He and Jon’s heads are shoved into the same bottle]
  
• [Hides his entire body flat under his cat bed]
  
• [Hides his entire body behind a thin lamp]
  
• [Stretches his arm to fit around a refrigerator]
  
• [Stretches his lips far from his face]
  
• [Extends his jaw]
  
• [Transforms into a monster on Halloween]
  
• [Is able to breathe while submerged in food]
  
• [Has his face turned upside down]
  
• [Has his face pucker inwards, folding in on itself]
  
• [Has opposable thumbs]
  
• [Sheds. A lot. Completely blankets John and a table with shed hair.]
  
• [His stomach can separate from the rest of his body, acting independently]
  
• [By viewing the world upside down, he alters the direction of gravity]
  
• [Able to move in slow motion at will, reducing his falls to a snail’s pace]
  
• [Warps reality by tilting a painting]
  
• [Sends Odie through time into the future with a kick]
  
• [Wills himself from an alternate time back to his own]
  
• [Can apparently travel freely between comic strips. Also more fourth wall awareness.]
  
• [Just.. completely breaks physics]
  
• [Seems to be able to make wishes and have them granted, albeit in a way he doesn’t always like]
  
• [Makes a birthday with for his cake to be bigger and has it come true]
  
• [Manifests objects from his dreams in real life]
  
• [Seems to be able to physically manifest and interact with figments of his psyche. Eats donuts representing his conscience, leaving behind crumbs that indicate they’re in some way real. ]
  
• [Can infiltrate other people’s daydreams and interact with them]
  
• [Breaks a mirror with his looks]
  
• [Sings a note high enough to “shatter paper”]
  
• [Flicks off Odie’s nose]
  
• [Swaps noses with Odie, forcing him to suffer a sneeze]
  
• [Adjusts a dog’s nose like a dial to force it to bark more quietly]
  
• [Seemingly teleports Odie’s head from a top hat into his food dish]
  
• [Moves a mousehole while it’s still in the wall]
  
• [Has a flamethrower]
  
• [Has a chainsaw]
  
• [Has a dart gun]
  
• [Has a giant slingshot]
  
• [Has a “mouse call”]
  

Things I really like but also hate

• [King Kong canonically exists in Garfield’s world]
  
• [So do monsters]
  
• [And aliens]
  

LOOOONG first time trip report! 5/13-5/18, stayed at Beach Club, visited all four parks, bought Genie+ every day, had the standard DDP. Family of 4, two girls 5 and 9. I learned so much from this group over the past year and especially loved trip reports, so hopefully this post will be helpful to someone!
💲BUDGET💲
-- I booked the trip a year out so I could break it up into 12 manageable payments. I opened the no fee Disney VISA, which gives you several months of no interest on charges made towards Disney travel packages, rewards dollars to use at Disney, and a couple other perks like character meet and greets and discounts.
-- I signed up for Disney Movie Insiders. This is what you're supposed to do with all those little codes that come in Disney DVDs/Blurays. You enter the codes in exchange for points, and at 1000 points, you can redeem for a $10 Disney gift card. You also get points for being subscribed to Disney+, seeing Disney movies in the theater, their social media accounts, and a whole bunch of other things. I got $50 in gift cards from this alone.
-- If you want Disney-themed luggage, try thinking outside the box to save money! I got plain luggage in Mickey colors--red and black--and Mickey luggage tags to make them Disney themed.
-- I tried to budget for souvenirs via gift cards... but I failed, lol. Everything is so expensive, $100 is gone in a second. Plushes are like $40, coffee cups are $20, etc. Whatever you're planning to spend, double it! I get what people say about most shops having the same stuff, but it's definitely not all of them, most of the ones post-ride have unique stuff. And honestly it's kind of nice most of them have the same stuff, if you want to get whatever your kid was asking for earlier, you don't have to walk all the way back to the one shop you saw it at.
-- We paid for Memory Maker and I'm on the fence about it. On the one hand, it's really nice to get all the ride photos and meet and greet photos and magic shots. It's also really nice for the whole family to be in a lot of pictures and not have to swap with the other adult or find someone willing to take your picture. On the other, we definitely didn't utilize it as much as I wanted to because a lot of the photographers had pretty long lines and I just didn't want to spend time waiting for a picture I could take myself. If we came across someone with a shortish or no line, we made sure to get it, but for anyone with a long line, we just stood around the same spot and took our own.
🗓️PLANNING🗓️
-- If you have kids and live within easy driving distance of another amusement park, highly recommend making a visit BEFORE going to Disney to get an idea of how they handle that kind of day/environment, especially if they have never been. I quickly discovered we would absolutely need a stroller and I would need to be militant with the kids about staying hydrated. Also to avoid face paint, as heat + tears + paint + eyes = bad day! I felt so much better making these discoveries beforehand and being able to prepare accordingly, rather than making them at Disney.
-- USE AN AGENT! An agent is free to you, so why not have the help? Ours was amazing, she gave us quotes, booked the package, rebooked as needed later when a better deal came out, made all the payments, dining and extra reservations, and was just all-around awesome to work with. It was such a load off to know I wasn't on my own with all this stuff.
-- Watch everything Ear Scouts. No one explains Genie+ better, and Rob and Erick's videos are just so positive and beautiful and well done.
-- I also enjoyed reading Disney Tourist Blog--lovingly snarky but super informative!--and Disney Food Blog for fun tips and news.
-- I didn't find any park to be a half day park, we filled our whole day in every one and still didn't see everything!
-- My kids did really well, whenever they were on the verge of cranky, we had one ride in the stroller for a while, bought a snack (usually ice cream or popcorn), and used the bubble wand, and/or gave them some ibuprofen, and everyone felt better pretty quick. We never tried to do fireworks, we were all done by 8 so always left after dinner. The only park we closed down was EPCOT because we didn't get out of dinner until after close, and that was a really cool experience, the park was so quiet and empty and beautiful!
-- You don't NEED a Magic Band... but man, was it convenient. We just had 1.0 Magic Bands though, we didn't bother with the 2.0s.
-- I guess moving through security fast is important to people rope dropping... but as someone who didn't, it added like maybe 30 seconds to a minute to the experience the couple times my bag got flagged, it's really not a big deal.
-- I'm not saying anyone's lying about bad experiences or exaggerating or anything, but try to remember that far more people go on the Internet to complain than they do to praise. I got so stressed about all the things that could go wrong, and we had a pretty much perfect trip. The only attraction that broke down on us was Muppetvision, of all things. The only "bad behavior" we witnessed was the morning we were leaving, we could hear a dad across the hall yelling at his family, I think they overslept and were going to miss their flight or something? We just turned the TV on so we didn't have to hear him. A couple times we forgot to take our stuff with us when we parked our stroller or forgot some food in it, and neither people nor animals bothered it. The only dicey thing that happened to us was me dropping my phone into the Dumbo moat, the cast members fished it out and it still worked, I sent them a cast compliment for all their help! All the cast members were great, I'm not really sure what people expect but IMO they all do amazing for having to be peppy and helpful all day in absolutely blazing heat, walking a ride conveyer belt nonstop, repeating the same spiels over and over, meeting person after person, etc. I wouldn't last a 2 hour shift let alone 8. Cast members, you rock!!!
✈️TRAVEL✈️
-- We flew Delta, flight there was flawless, flight home was delayed by an hour waiting for crew and was a little bumpy (which is not great for a nervous flyer like me) but otherwise fine.
-- Get TSA PreCheck! Good for a few years, if the adults have it the kids have it too. It made the whole experience so much easier. That said, even PreCheck still moves kind of slow at MCO, so definitely get there at least 2 hours early for your flight. Use curbside check-in for bags, way faster than the long line inside!
-- On our agent's recommendation, we used Away We Go for ground transport in Orlando. They communicate really well, both ways were flawless, no complaints!
-- We used Minnie Vans to get to Animal Kingdom + Sanaa and Magic Kingdom, what a wonderful service! Definitely pricey, but they had cartoons on in the car, booster seats they set up for you, and the drivers were so nice and friendly and had fun trivia to share. I never had any problem requesting one when I needed it.
⛱️BEACH CLUB⛱️
-- We knew we wanted an onsite hotel where you could walk to at least one park. This pretty much limits you to a handful of Deluxe hotels or the Swan and Dolphin. Beach Club won for us because it's "in the Disney bubble" and you can walk to 2/4 parks. Note that while you can technically walk to Hollywood Studios, it is a LOOOONG walk. The boat is a nice not crowded alternative! We did not make use of Early Entry or Extended Hours, we're just not built for either. Beach Club was lovely, we booked a resort view but I think we ended up with a water view, we were right by the quiet pool and could see the water beyond from our room. Stormalong Bay was a little crazy for us but we loved the quiet pool. Best thing about Beach Club though is the location, EPCOT is literally steps away!
🌳ANIMAL KINGDOM🌳
-- We had read that there's really no bad day to do AK, so we started there. We rode: Navi River Journey, Flight of Passage, Kali River Rapids, Everest, Kilimanjaro Safaris, Triceratops Spin, and Dinosaur--so pretty much everything! With Genie+ we walked onto all of them. We also met Moana, Pocahontas, and Russell! The only thing we didn't do here that we wanted to was the Gorilla Falls trail, but we just ran out of time before the park closed.
🌐EPCOT🌐
-- We had read to avoid EPCOT on Fridays and Saturdays, so we went on Wednesday. We rode: Grand Fiesta Tour, Living with the Land, Nemo, Spaceship Earth, Imagination with Figment, Frozen, Remy, Journey of Water, and Guardians--everything we wanted! Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! Outside of our character meal (more on that in the dining section!), we also met Anna, Elsa, and Asha! Tried a couple of Flower and Garden snacks: chicken and waffles, fruit and cheese strudel, and potato pancakes, all were delicious! Everyone had a different favorite day, but EPCOT was personally my favorite day, it felt like we were firing on all cylinders and the day just went really smoothly!
🏰MAGIC KINGDOM🏰
-- We had read that Wednesdays were the quietest days at MK, so we were originally going to try to do it that day, but we could only get a reservation for Cinderella's Royal Table on Thursday, so we switched it up. Definitely the most crowded of all the parks we visited, but I think that's just the norm for MK, everyone wants to go to the castle park with the most rides. We rode: Regal Carousel, Tomorrowland Speedway, Barnstormer, Magic Carpets, Mad Tea Party, People Mover, Dumbo, Small World, Little Mermaid, Pirates, Space Ranger Spin, Jungle Cruise, TRON, and Peter Pan. Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! The only ride we missed at this park that we wanted to do was Pooh, I couldn't manage to get a return time that was earlier than we planned on leaving. Outside of our character meals (more on those in the dining section!) we also met Mirabel, Tiana, and Rapunzel! We had both the Rapunzel and Aurora ice creams, both so good and cute!
🎬HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS🎬
-- We had read that, like MK, it's better to do HS later in the week, so we went Friday. We rode: Slinky, Alien Saucers, Toy Story Mania, Rise, Smuggler's Run, Runaway Railway. Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! The only ride we missed was Tower of Terror, again I couldn't manage to get a return time that was earlier than we planned on leaving. We also met Olaf, be aware Olaf doesn't sign stuff, they just give you a signature card. This park needs more shade IMO, especially Toy Story Land, I know it's supposed to be Andy's backyard, but I don't see why that means we can't have some shade from trees or something. 🤪 Blue milk from Galaxy's Edge was really good, the family was all fighting over it!
🍽️DINING🍽️
-- We almost certainly lost some money on the DDP, but I'm still glad we got it because it allowed us to do more table service meals and have less stress overall about expenses. We easily used up everything but child quick service credits, we had a few of those left over near the end.
Here's where we ate!
BOARDWALK DELI/PIZZA WINDOW: Pizza for the kids, sandwiches for the adults. Tasty and satisfying after our day of travel!
BEACHES AND CREAM: Got the kitchen sink for the experience, but honestly it's not great, all the ice cream and toppings melt together quick and you just end up with weird ice cream soup.
SAT'ULI CANTEEN: LOVED this place, everything was so yummy! Best quick service we had!
SANAA: Since Animal Kingdom closes so early, we thought we'd try to extend the experience by eating at Sanaa. What a great idea, we got seated right by a window and saw so many animals! The food was great too.
AKERSHUS: Our favorite princess meal! We met Aurora, Tiana, Snow White, Ariel, and Belle. They were all lovely, and the breakfast was really good too. Only 1 credit on the DDP!
GARDEN GRILL: Our kids really enjoyed getting to look down over Living with the Land and the fact that the restaurant spins. We met Farmer Mickey, Pluto, and Chip and Dale. They were fun and even came to our table more than once. Food was good!
SPACE 220: Not on the DDP, but wow, what a cool restaurant! Almost like a ride with the theming and the elevator up. Food was really good.
CINDERELLA'S ROYAL TABLE: You gotta eat in the castle! We paid for it OOP because we didn't want to use up 2 DDP credits here. You're really going for the location and the princesses, the food is kinda meh, not bad but not as good as other places. The restaurant is small and they have to turn tables quick, so it's very understandable to me that the princesses have to move fast. It's not that they rush you, they'll take all the pictures you ask for and sign whatever and answer your questions, but if you don't have much you need, they try to keep moving. Akershus is much bigger so they are able to be more relaxed there. The only small bummer is that we didn't see Merida (maybe she was on vacation too!) We did meet Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, and Aurora though!
CRYSTAL PALACE: We are not big on buffets but we enjoyed meeting Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore and Tigger!
TOPOLINO'S: Maybe the best food of the trip, steak and eggs were so good! The character artist costumes are so cute too. It was fun to have an excuse to ride the Skyliner to get here from Beach Club too.
DOCKING BAY 7: The theming is great, but the food wasn't as good as Satuli Canteen IMO.
THE MARKET AT ALE & COMPASS: We had quick service credits we wanted to use up on the last day and we didn't want to leave the resort again, otherwise I would have gone somewhere else, food was meh.
✨EXTRAS✨
-- I originally wanted to book Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for my kids, but it's so expensive/competitive that I decided I didn't want the stress. Instead I booked Have Wand, Will Travel to come to our room and bought dresses from Presley Couture and Only Little Once. I chose Have Wand, Will Travel because they keep character throughout. Fairy Godmother Elyse was amazing and so much fun, my kids loved it and kept talking about it all day!
-- That same morning I ordered a Sammicakes breakfast box with beignets for us to eat. I also ordered a pretend letter from The DCP and Me on Etsy to make it seem like the breakfast came from Tiana. My kids also loved this and had fun telling Tiana about it both times we met her. Sammicakes was good but a LOT of food, sadly we didn't end up eating half of it. It can last you at least 3 days!
-- We had Birthdays and More decorate our door, it was a really fun surprise for the kids on our first day and made our room easy to find. The kids also loved reusing the decorations at home on their own doors!
-- Matching shirts and ear hats, all from Etsy! So many cool designs there, hardest part is choosing!
-- Got my kids a pin trading lanyard with some pins, they loooooved pin trading! It was like free souvenirs.
🧳PACKING🧳
-- Things the Internet Told Me to Pack That I Needed: Scissors, ziploc bags, ibuprofen (kids and adults), garbage bags, big carabiners to hook on the strolleuse to carry multiple bags at once.
-- Things the Internet Told Me to Pack that I Didn't Need: stainless steel straws (the paper straws are more like hard cardboard, they really don't break down unless your kid is gnawing on them or something), ponchos (it did rain some most days, but wearing a poncho was almost more miserable than not wearing one, it's so hot and humid to be walking around in a plastic bag! We did better taking shelter and using umbrellas.), wipes (obv you need them if your kid is younger, but mine were older and just never got messy enough to need them), glow sticks (we never stayed anywhere long enough to use them), bottled wateLiquid IV (the tap water tasted the same as home to us, but we live in a rural area so maybe we are just used to imperfect water?) Basically, the less you can get away carrying in the parks, the better. It's annoying to lug stuff around you don't end up needing or using!
🛞STROLLER🛞
-- I know it seems insane that your 5 year old and 9 year old will need a stroller, but mine definitely did. Once I accepted that I was going to have to get one, I tried to make the best of it, and actually got really into decorating it so we could always easily spot it in the sea (the decorations also later made nice wall decor for a gallery of our trip!) The Magic Spotter flag was the best investment, hardly anyone had them so it was easy to instantly spot our stroller anywhere we left it, even if it got moved. That said, I definitely didn't want to spend a lot on a stroller we were really only buying for this one trip, so I got a used Joovy Caboose on Facebook Marketplace for $50. It was very hard to handle with two older kids in it, and even with one it was hard to handle unless the kid was in the back seat. So we basically used it like a single stroller, glad I didn't spend a lot on it since it was so hard to drive!
☔WEATHER☔
-- We had mostly great weather, it rained some every day except Magic Kingdom day but it passed within an hour each time. We wore socks with Crocs so that if/when it rained, we could just take our wet socks off and walk in our Crocs, this worked great! Don't trust the weather reports though, two days it wasn't supposed to rain. One day it actually didn't, the other day it did and we had to walk in wet shoes because we didn't wear the Crocs that day. Just figure it might rain any day and be prepared! See above note RE: ponchos being not great and shelter + umbrellas being better. When it didn't rain, It. Was. Hot. 🥵 In the 90s but definitely felt hotter with the humidity making it so sticky. We felt there was plenty of shade at Animal Kingdom and EPCOT, but hardly any at Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios, which I would say slightly affected how much fun we had on those days comparatively.
Phew! That's about it, let me know if you have any questions!

“What defines virtue and how are we to gauge it? An inquiry that reverberates through epochs, its answer as fickle and capricious as the fates of those who deem to ask it. Duty, honor, justice - many over the ages would name these virtues, the conduits through which noble intentions find expression. Yet, as the battlefield of beliefs unfolds, a legion emerges, each as sworn to these principles as to obliterating all who would dare stake alike claim. Thus, battles rage and wars are waged and, in the end, those who are left are no more right than those fell by the blade. Alas, it is the victors whose ideals are etched into monuments for posterity. Except even words chiseled in unyielding stone are fated to fade in time. So is the wicked cycle destined to repeat in all its futility, its ephemeral prize seized again, only to be lost and sought anew. Try and picture, if for but a moment, a world where our rulers paused to reflect on the lessons of yore. They, too, would discern the elixir that enables one to escape the confines of memory—the very burden our fleeting nature forbids us to carry. Progress and evolution. Adaptability and transcendence. Everlasting and yet not stagnant, irrefutable, and yet fluid, these are the only true virtues. Thus, must we ever venture into the uncharted and unfamiliar for only from these unexplored domains may the truly virtuous arise.”
Where: Discord (Video and Voice) + FoundryVTT
When: every Saturday 5 - 9/10 pm GMT+1 (CET), 11 am - 3/4 pm EST
Who: party of 4 players and a DM seeking one extra player
Updates: Recruitment updates will be posted here.
Hello there and well met! If you’ve made it past the flavor text (or skipped it) and through the basic info (hopefully didnt skip past that one) you might very well be at the right address! Without further ado onto the post.

🐲The campaign🐲

Having only just recovered from the Second Sundering and the War of the Silver Marches, the North had been ravaged by a whole new set of tumultuous events - the rise of the Cult of the Dragon and that of the Absolute, the Fall of Eltruel and the short reign of the beholder crime lord Xanathar just some among them. After a brief respite from the twisted and the unnatural the clouds once more begin to gather. Along the Long Road, whole hosts of wild beasts and monsters have been accosting travelers seemingly at random and in the grand metropolis of Waterdeep a sudden rise in crime seems to coincide with strange events passing unnoticed beneath the surface. Amidst all this, in spring of 1493 DR, a party of adventurers delves into a mystery of enchanted gemstones being utilized to nefarious ends by unknown perpetrators all the while navigating the labyrinthine twists of city faction politics.
As implied by the post title, this is an ongoing campaign (we are 12 sessions in at the time of this post). Due to some irl commitments weve recently dropped a player and are looking to replace them.
As the title suggests, this is a roleplay focused mystery/lore driven campaign. Expect an overreaching plot with ample secrets to uncover, conspiracies to unravel and eldritch truths to unearth. The first word of the password is "Doth". On the same level of importance or more important even be that the players preference, there is a variety of subplots to engage with, from small and goofy and random to ones rivaling the main story arc in complexity and variance. Among these, individual character story arcs play a leading role, at times seamlessly intertwined with the current focus of the party, at times separate and independent.
As was already mentioned and is further described below, this is a roleplay focused campaign and a roleplay heavy game. This means that roleplay exists as a unifying concept for all other aspects of the game including exploration, combat, and puzzles. That said DnD is only DnD with all three of its main pillars intact and this campaign is no exception in that regard. I very much enjoy the mechanical side of the game as well besides roleplay and so things like multiphase boss fights and custom magic items are definitely on the table.

🧙‍♂️The DM🧙‍♂️

Hello there, Jay here, 25 yo law student from Central Europe currently working on finishing his master’s degree, trying to stay afloat in the current lease market. I study and work in a law firm by day and DM or play DnD by night (more like evening but night sounded cooler). I have been a big fan of TTRPGs since my early teens and of online DnD for the past five years. I’ve DMed multiple campaigns, finished CoS not least among them and I currently play in a long-term campaign. Before you ask, yes, my schedule is strained but not to the point I am unable to engage with my hobbies.
I would describe my DMing style as driven, realistic, and involved but also very conscious about player agency and collaborative storytelling as core values that make TTRPGs so popular and unique. I spend a lot of time ensuring the worlds I create and the stories I want to tell feel alive. From hand-picked music, to fully voiced NPCs and scenic descriptions designed to breathe life into the campaign setting I daresay my games rival in quality those of the professional DMs that charge for each session.
There is a drawback to this all however. Second word of the password is "thy". I expect a lot from my players as well. Writing a story in DnD is not a one person job. It takes a collective effort of the entire group to create something truly unique, something that one can be proud while looking forward to each session. Unwinding and letting off steam means something else for everyone. For me it means losing myself in the creative process of roleplaying an NPC or describing a scene, watching my players masterfully portray their own characters or having the party derail my plans in an awesome unforeseen and unexpectedly enriching way. If you find yourself in any of what I just described than this may be a game for you. If you don’t, that’s fine. This is definitely not a game for everyone.

🏰The setting🏰

Forgotten Realms is a default setting of Dungeons and Dragons but it is anything but boring and mundane. With now decades worth of lore behind it, it offers an unparalleled opportunity for anyone wanting to build on solid foundations to bring their ideas to life. While it has garnered a lot of attention lately with the release of a certain videogame (more people now know Astarion than a good amount of Hollywood celebrities I’d say) it has had its loyal following even before then, being constantly expanded and living its own life in a host of both online and home games. It’s been a natural choice of mine for a while now and not once have I had any regrets. The third word of the password is "mirror". I feel with how great of a variety of content the Forgotten Realms offer everybody is able to pick something that suits their creative vision. In summary the Forgotten Realms almost feel like a real place with how much worldbuilding has been done with them and offer a diversity of content few other TTRPG settings can boast.
When it comes to setting of the campaign in the world of Faerun I have once again made a somewhat traditional pick and decided to place the onset of the game onto the Sword Coast, more precisely into the city of Waterdeep. If one of the key upsides of Forgotten Realms is diversity of content, Waterdeep is one of the best representations of this. Being the largest settlement on the known Faerun, Waterdeep offers nigh limitless options in terms of main story arc genre, character creation and character backstory implementation. It has everything every large TTRPG settlement ought to have (fickle upper class, enigmatic factions, quaint taverns and extravagant nightclubs, always in bad mood city watch, a castle and a harbor) as well as few pretty original ideas such as colossal definitely not alive statues, a city council where even its members don’t know each other’s identity and a massive dungeon right underneath the city where you can literally fall right from a tavern taproom.
In case you are wondering, while this campagn takes place primarily in the city of Waterdeep itself, there is nothing stopping the players from exploring past the city if they so choose. The final word of the password is "crack?". Different parts of the main plot and various subplots can and will encourage the party to explore Waterdeep environs and sometimes even further.

📃The requirements📃

No exceptions here. Unless otherwise stated, the requirements must be met at the time of application.

• to apply you need to be 20+ yo
• you need a functioning webcam (at the time of application) and a stable internet connection - we will be using both video and voice on discord and as a general rule Wifi doesn’t handle long video calls well (believe me when I say I speak from experience) so cable or other similar form of stable connection is strongly encouraged
• you need a Discord account and you will need a Forge account - Forge is a hosting service for Foundry, don’t worry, you won’t need to input any personal info (besides maybe an email) to register and I will be footing the bill
• you need a PC that can and will run Foundry Virtual Tabletop - check the minimum requirements on the Foundry website, a fair warning, Foundry won’t run on tablets and phones (not that you should consider those in the first place)
• you need at least an elementary knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition - when it comes to the awareness of the rules, I won’t be too harsh, but definitely don’t apply if the first time you’ve seen the PHB was a week ago
• you need TTRPG/roleplay experience and/or a very strong roleplay inclination - this is a heavy roleplay game where most if not all ingame talk will be done in character and where you will be expected to voice your character in a way that is distinct from your standard voice
• you will need to be very punctual when it comes to session attendance - I expect my players to attend most if not all sessions, online or not, this campaign is a designed as a longterm commitment and by applying you are acknowledging this, having other hobbies and time-consuming real-life obligations is understandable (I got those too) but those 4-5 hours you will be expected to set aside for the session

🙋‍♂️How to sign up🙋‍♀️

Youve made it all the way to the end of this long post. Congratulations. Or maybe you’ve skipped all the way to the end. In that case I strongly recommended you go back. If not to learn what you are applying for than to make sure you haven’t missed something very important. Now if you are confident that you have what it takes and that this is a game that you could have a lot of fun with, please fill the below attached google questionnaire (if for any strange reason the link doesn’t end up working, please let me know in the comments under this post) and if fortune favors you, I shall get back to you promptly. Best of luck to you and I hope to speak to you soon!
https://forms.gle/5kc4RbwavJPfT8PD9
______________________________________
PS: As a part of the questionnaire, you will be asked to submit a short piece of your narrative writing in a form of a google doc link (not a custom piece of writing, any relevant past one you have will do). Maybe best have that ready beforehand? On that note, dont apply for the game with a detailed backstory of a character you want to play that you arent willing to adapt to the conditions of the setting/campaign.
PSS: Not to discourage you but if you do make it through the questionnaire and into the second group of applicants you will be asked to do a discord interview with your webcam turned on. I am asking you to go through a lot for a game you might not even end up liking I know, but if you do end up liking it, all this effort will be well worth it as I am sure my other players would agree.

“What defines virtue and how are we to gauge it? An inquiry that reverberates through epochs, its answer as fickle and capricious as the fates of those who deem to ask it. Duty, honor, justice - many over the ages would name these virtues, the conduits through which noble intentions find expression. Yet, as the battlefield of beliefs unfolds, a legion emerges, each as sworn to these principles as to obliterating all who would dare stake alike claim. Thus, battles rage and wars are waged and, in the end, those who are left are no more right than those fell by the blade. Alas, it is the victors whose ideals are etched into monuments for posterity. Except even words chiseled in unyielding stone are fated to fade in time. So is the wicked cycle destined to repeat in all its futility, its ephemeral prize seized again, only to be lost and sought anew. Try and picture, if for but a moment, a world where our rulers paused to reflect on the lessons of yore. They, too, would discern the elixir that enables one to escape the confines of memory—the very burden our fleeting nature forbids us to carry. Progress and evolution. Adaptability and transcendence. Everlasting and yet not stagnant, irrefutable, and yet fluid, these are the only true virtues. Thus, must we ever venture into the uncharted and unfamiliar for only from these unexplored domains may the truly virtuous arise.”
Where: Discord (Video and Voice) + FoundryVTT
When: every Saturday 5 - 9/10 pm GMT+1 (CET), 11 am - 3/4 pm EST
Who: party of 4 players and a DM seeking one extra player
Updates: Recruitment updates will be posted here.
Hello there and well met! If you’ve made it past the flavor text (or skipped it) and through the basic info (hopefully didnt skip past that one) you might very well be at the right address! Without further ado onto the post.

🐲The campaign🐲

Having only just recovered from the Second Sundering and the War of the Silver Marches, the North had been ravaged by a whole new set of tumultuous events - the rise of the Cult of the Dragon and that of the Absolute, the Fall of Eltruel and the short reign of the beholder crime lord Xanathar just some among them. After a brief respite from the twisted and the unnatural the clouds once more begin to gather. Along the Long Road, whole hosts of wild beasts and monsters have been accosting travelers seemingly at random and in the grand metropolis of Waterdeep a sudden rise in crime seems to coincide with strange events passing unnoticed beneath the surface. Amidst all this, in spring of 1493 DR, a party of adventurers delves into a mystery of enchanted gemstones being utilized to nefarious ends by unknown perpetrators all the while navigating the labyrinthine twists of city faction politics.
As implied by the post title, this is an ongoing campaign (we are 12 sessions in at the time of this post). Due to some irl commitments weve recently dropped a player and are looking to replace them.
As the title suggests, this is a roleplay focused mystery/lore driven campaign. Expect an overreaching plot with ample secrets to uncover, conspiracies to unravel and eldritch truths to unearth. The first word of the password is "Doth". On the same level of importance or more important even be that the players preference, there is a variety of subplots to engage with, from small and goofy and random to ones rivaling the main story arc in complexity and variance. Among these, individual character story arcs play a leading role, at times seamlessly intertwined with the current focus of the party, at times separate and independent.
As was already mentioned and is further described below, this is a roleplay focused campaign and a roleplay heavy game. This means that roleplay exists as a unifying concept for all other aspects of the game including exploration, combat, and puzzles. That said DnD is only DnD with all three of its main pillars intact and this campaign is no exception in that regard. I very much enjoy the mechanical side of the game as well besides roleplay and so things like multiphase boss fights and custom magic items are definitely on the table.

🧙‍♂️The DM🧙‍♂️

Hello there, Jay here, 25 yo law student from Central Europe currently working on finishing his master’s degree, trying to stay afloat in the current lease market. I study and work in a law firm by day and DM or play DnD by night (more like evening but night sounded cooler). I have been a big fan of TTRPGs since my early teens and of online DnD for the past five years. I’ve DMed multiple campaigns, finished CoS not least among them and I currently play in a long-term campaign. Before you ask, yes, my schedule is strained but not to the point I am unable to engage with my hobbies.
I would describe my DMing style as driven, realistic, and involved but also very conscious about player agency and collaborative storytelling as core values that make TTRPGs so popular and unique. I spend a lot of time ensuring the worlds I create and the stories I want to tell feel alive. From hand-picked music, to fully voiced NPCs and scenic descriptions designed to breathe life into the campaign setting I daresay my games rival in quality those of the professional DMs that charge for each session.
There is a drawback to this all however. Second word of the password is "thy". I expect a lot from my players as well. Writing a story in DnD is not a one person job. It takes a collective effort of the entire group to create something truly unique, something that one can be proud while looking forward to each session. Unwinding and letting off steam means something else for everyone. For me it means losing myself in the creative process of roleplaying an NPC or describing a scene, watching my players masterfully portray their own characters or having the party derail my plans in an awesome unforeseen and unexpectedly enriching way. If you find yourself in any of what I just described than this may be a game for you. If you don’t, that’s fine. This is definitely not a game for everyone.

🏰The setting🏰

Forgotten Realms is a default setting of Dungeons and Dragons but it is anything but boring and mundane. With now decades worth of lore behind it, it offers an unparalleled opportunity for anyone wanting to build on solid foundations to bring their ideas to life. While it has garnered a lot of attention lately with the release of a certain videogame (more people now know Astarion than a good amount of Hollywood celebrities I’d say) it has had its loyal following even before then, being constantly expanded and living its own life in a host of both online and home games. It’s been a natural choice of mine for a while now and not once have I had any regrets. The third word of the password is "mirror". I feel with how great of a variety of content the Forgotten Realms offer everybody is able to pick something that suits their creative vision. In summary the Forgotten Realms almost feel like a real place with how much worldbuilding has been done with them and offer a diversity of content few other TTRPG settings can boast.
When it comes to setting of the campaign in the world of Faerun I have once again made a somewhat traditional pick and decided to place the onset of the game onto the Sword Coast, more precisely into the city of Waterdeep. If one of the key upsides of Forgotten Realms is diversity of content, Waterdeep is one of the best representations of this. Being the largest settlement on the known Faerun, Waterdeep offers nigh limitless options in terms of main story arc genre, character creation and character backstory implementation. It has everything every large TTRPG settlement ought to have (fickle upper class, enigmatic factions, quaint taverns and extravagant nightclubs, always in bad mood city watch, a castle and a harbor) as well as few pretty original ideas such as colossal definitely not alive statues, a city council where even its members don’t know each other’s identity and a massive dungeon right underneath the city where you can literally fall right from a tavern taproom.
In case you are wondering, while this campagn takes place primarily in the city of Waterdeep itself, there is nothing stopping the players from exploring past the city if they so choose. The final word of the password is "crack?". Different parts of the main plot and various subplots can and will encourage the party to explore Waterdeep environs and sometimes even further.

📃The requirements📃

No exceptions here. Unless otherwise stated, the requirements must be met at the time of application.

• to apply you need to be 20+ yo
• you need a functioning webcam (at the time of application) and a stable internet connection - we will be using both video and voice on discord and as a general rule Wifi doesn’t handle long video calls well (believe me when I say I speak from experience) so cable or other similar form of stable connection is strongly encouraged
• you need a Discord account and you will need a Forge account - Forge is a hosting service for Foundry, don’t worry, you won’t need to input any personal info (besides maybe an email) to register and I will be footing the bill
• you need a PC that can and will run Foundry Virtual Tabletop - check the minimum requirements on the Foundry website, a fair warning, Foundry won’t run on tablets and phones (not that you should consider those in the first place)
• you need at least an elementary knowledge of Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition - when it comes to the awareness of the rules, I won’t be too harsh, but definitely don’t apply if the first time you’ve seen the PHB was a week ago
• you need TTRPG/roleplay experience and/or a very strong roleplay inclination - this is a heavy roleplay game where most if not all ingame talk will be done in character and where you will be expected to voice your character in a way that is distinct from your standard voice
• you will need to be very punctual when it comes to session attendance - I expect my players to attend most if not all sessions, online or not, this campaign is a designed as a longterm commitment and by applying you are acknowledging this, having other hobbies and time-consuming real-life obligations is understandable (I got those too) but those 4-5 hours you will be expected to set aside for the session

🙋‍♂️How to sign up🙋‍♀️

Youve made it all the way to the end of this long post. Congratulations. Or maybe you’ve skipped all the way to the end. In that case I strongly recommended you go back. If not to learn what you are applying for than to make sure you haven’t missed something very important. Now if you are confident that you have what it takes and that this is a game that you could have a lot of fun with, please fill the below attached google questionnaire (if for any strange reason the link doesn’t end up working, please let me know in the comments under this post) and if fortune favors you, I shall get back to you promptly. Best of luck to you and I hope to speak to you soon!
https://forms.gle/5kc4RbwavJPfT8PD9
______________________________________
PS: As a part of the questionnaire, you will be asked to submit a short piece of your narrative writing in a form of a google doc link (not a custom piece of writing, any relevant past one you have will do). Maybe best have that ready beforehand? On that note, dont apply for the game with a detailed backstory of a character you want to play that you arent willing to adapt to the conditions of the setting/campaign.
PSS: Not to discourage you but if you do make it through the questionnaire and into the second group of applicants you will be asked to do a discord interview with your webcam turned on. I am asking you to go through a lot for a game you might not even end up liking I know, but if you do end up liking it, all this effort will be well worth it as I am sure my other players would agree.

(Sorry for typos or grammatical errors I’m on my phone and it’s a ton of info to edit.)
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef.
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef. I believe that Al B. Sure! was planing to release all the info he had on Diddy in 2022, but may have been poisoned beforehand similar to theories about Diddys’s ex wife Kim Porter who was originally married to Kim before Diddy stole her away along with Al’s son, also Diddy’s stepson Quincy. Diddy has also been directly tied to the murders or mysterious deaths of at least a half a dozen more people who were close associates from the beginning of his career and were key players in the formation of Bad Boy. Coincidentally many of the victims had either exposed or were threatening to expose evidence related to all of these crimes. They are also using Keefe D. to take the charge for 2Pacs murder so he can spin the story and leave out and ties to Diddy who ordered the hit or did it himself.
Unfortunately for Diddy, unlike the rest of the people he had successfully silenced in the past, Al ended up coming out of his coma and revealing all the info he had on Diddy, including that he was responsible for him falling into a coma. After he came out of the coma Diddy knew he was about to go down and before the raid he destroyed and staged all of his homes with evidence that would verify all the claims related to other celebrities over the age of 18. Meanwhile he got rid of all the videos involving murder, sa, child abuse, bestiality and other evidence that would bring major charges. This is so he can cooperate with the Feds and help reduce his sentence. If he hid all the evidence they would know and work overtime to find it. Instead he lied by omission and corroborated the accusations that won’t completely destroy him. He can then release all his dirt to seem like he made all the blackmail with the intention of bringing down known predators who were able to get away with the same things he’s guilty of.
In the video of Diddy in the wig, he talks about partying with Drake and The Weekend and I believe he was able to acquire the blackmail. He then released the blackmail to selected people to ensure they leak at the appropriate time. The plan is to publicly out Drake for sex crimes so the rest of Hollywood knows not to testify against him. During the auction mentioned by ebony prince they are going to auction off all the dirt Diddy has collected the last 30 years. This includes dirt on Trump, which may be the reason behind all of this. The auction is four days after Election Day and will be used as a fail safe in case Trump wins the election.
I’m trying my best to add everything, just struggling because I have like 30 pages worth of write ups. If you want more evidence I have a ton, on my other account, I don’t want to spam so just dm me if you want additional evidence. The full post above is multiple pages long so I just chose the important part because very few people on here have the attention span for it.
You don’t have to believe it, it’s just my personal opinions, but they are based on facts and about 80 hours of research.
https://www.reddit.comRationalSchizo812020/s/IsgRSkK8KM
Check out the post covering Diddy, Drake, Kendrick, and Kanye
Two articles about modern sex cults still in operation: https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/sep/28/new-york-satanic-cult-764-fbi
https://www.complex.com/life/a/brad-callas/accused-cult-leader-nature-boy-sentenced-to-life
Yesterday I found Ye’s full interview with The Download from before the beef blew up. It discusses a lot of my connections and hints that Ye is partially involved. You can skip to around 13 minutes in.
(Recently the charges against Lucian Grange were dropped showing he most likely is working behind the scenes as well and has some influence. He may be related to the leak as well. He could have also been the one who supplied the blackmail. Another alternative is Diddy went to the feds on his own accord, but when multiple lawsuits pop up very quickly, especially after thirty years of avoiding charges related to tons of sketchy shit, it usually means there is some type of coordination. Look at TI and his wife’s allegations and what lead up to those events.)
Full post:
This is all speculation so please don’t victim blame or spread conspiracies about a possible survivor of C.S abuse. This is why many don’t come forward. All I’m trying to do is point out the large amount of details surrounding the rumor that stand out as odd to me. By no means does this dismiss his claims. I’m not a lawyer, but if he was suing my client, this is some of the evidence I would use in the case.
Before I start I need to put in a small disclaimer. **The subjects I covered in my essay are well known to be linked to conspiracy theory communities that have been equated to terrorist groups. The end goal of a lot of these communities is to promote political divide, antisemetism, homophobia, and violence. I think the ultimate goal is to create such a massive gap between the left and right that the two party system fails and we fall into anarchy allowing the people who really pull the strings to restructure and in order to retain their power. It’s already evident that Biden isn’t able to do nearly as much as he could do if he didn’t have to consider the opposing party’s majority vote as well. Whoever wins I feel the results will be the same, violent protests aiming to reverse the vote. If this is achieved it will be the death of democracy in America.
I highly encourage anyone who identifies with either political party and are attracted to controversial subjects or consider themselves to be contrarian to please look out for any conspiracies that seem to be targeted towards you or the community you’re a part of. If they share similar ideas to the findings I made in my research, please do not engage.
I’ve watched the conception and the eventual downfalls off the P-gate and Q conspiracy communities. It didn’t take me long to figure out the eventual end game and step back from the community while continuing independent research. If you’re letting someone else to the research for you, you really need to be sure to trust the source and be aware of possible ulterior motives. It’s really dangerous territory though, filled with hidden traps that can draw you in and send you so deep that you either end up going into psychosis from the stress and paranoid, or you do what I did and step back for the sake of your mental health. I hate even sharing things like this because I know it may not have the effect I intended, but on the other hand people who are new to these subjects and conspiracies really, really need to take them seriously. They are not just games on the internet and there is a reason members of these communities have to hide in the shadows and lure people into their dark corners. There is also reason why they target the groups they do and I’ve noted a huge effort to indoctrinate people in rap community, the content creator community, and the celebrity gossip communities. I’ll let you guys draw your own conclusions as to why this is. I assume if you read this far you’re not dumb.
Once you’re stuck in their web it’s very difficult for most people to find their way back to society without seeing examples everywhere. I hope this is able to at least help one person who might be teetering on the edge of these rabbit holes. It’s not worth it and if I wasn’t sober and taking my meds, Id probably end up having a psychotic break. If you feel like you may be approaching that point you can still quit while you’re ahead.
Here are just a few of the things you can do to keep yourself from spiraling.
Take a step back for a while and focus on other things. Taking a hiatus from social media is crucial. If you can’t control yourself maybe detach from the news and internet entirely for a couple days. Even a long weekend can make a MASSIVE difference.
Try to get a good nights sleep and consider taking melatonin or an over the counter sleep aid.
Spend some time with friends or loved ones.
Eat some good, somewhat healthy, food and stay hydrated.
Try to get some sun and consider taking a walk or doing some other form of exercise.
Volunteer or do something to help your community if you want to continue working to benefit society.
Try to read a book or spend some time doing your favorite hobbies that aren’t related to any of the subjects I discuss below. Without further ado…
Ties Between Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and Violent Antigovernment Conspiracies
I recently saw an article about Bryshere Gray, a rappeactor best known for his role in Empire. He was born in Philadelphia and started rapping at 16. His manager Craig Mack, who facilitated his big break by getting him a role on the TV series Empire, is life long friends with Will Smith. Currently there are conflicting claims about whether he is currently suing or planning to sue Will Smith and P. Diddy for s. abusing him as a minor. It’s rumored he is trying to get 50 million dollars in damages. That number alone seems suspicious to me. That’s 20 million more than Cassie got and she dated and lived with Diddy for over a decade.
One of the other things I noticed off the jump was the fact that the only sources regarding the case were on social media along with one article on MSN, which is known for being a nest of clickbait journalism. Essentially they are the written version of gossip videos made by content creators. The only evidence I could find in these videos were a few short clips from his socials where is talking about the negative sides of fame and a clip of him on the red carpet with Will Smith. This might hint towards suppression, but I’m leaning toward this whole story being bullshit.
The only connection I found between him and Diddy is a song he did with 2 Chainz and Fabolous, the latter being signed to Bad Boy. He ended up getting signed to Columbia which falls under the Sony Music Entertainment while Bad Boy is under UMG. Considering these rumors came about a while back he hasn’t mentioned it at all as far as I know. Some might argue this could be a product of friction between labels or that he included Diddy because everyone knows he’s going down. On the other hand if he is a victims he may not have wanted his story told and doesn’t want to stoke the rumors by responding whether they’re true or not.
One of the biggest things that led me to question the validity of the claims is the fact that 90 percent of the sources I found were using a three minute clip from an interview with one of the top content creators on YouTube, I’ll call her J. At this point I’m 99 percent sure J is an opp, whether she knows it or not. She told his story in vivid detail accusing Will and Jada of luring young artists with promises of mentorship, then involving them in their bedroom activities.
It’s not really a stretch to think that Will might have a cuckold fetish and probably swings both ways. Two things that could ruin you in the 90’s, but neither or them could do more damage to their careers then they have already done by airing out intimate details of their relationship to the public. However the allegations involving minors are complete heresay. This leads me to believe these are just rumors from the 90’s updated to include modern conspiracy theories. J clearly also clearly has some homophobic tendencies, but uses her bisexuality as a pass to bash on most black gay men and even straight men who she claims to be gay. It’s all too obvious she still holds onto resentment over her career never taking off while a lot of the people she collaborated with turned into megastars which is a huge motivator for her content. She clearly still lives in the nineties when these type of allegations alone could seriously damage your career.
In Bryshere’s case, regardless if any of the details she shared were true, they shouldn’t have been aired to the public by anyone but Gray himself. This isn’t the first time J has leaked recordings, exploited, or stolen from victims she claimed to be advocating for. She has even doxxed victims by starting a women’s group for sa survivors and recording all their meetings. She eventually leaked some, claiming they were trying sabotage the group. When the rest found out or were threatened themselves, the group was quickly dissolved and covered up. Considering her track record it’s not unlikely that if true, she released Gray’s story after trying to ask for a payoff and not receiving it. Considering their is no evidence they’ve even met, it’s more likely she’s just reporting on local rumors considering her and Gray are both from Philly and now both live in the Dallas. It’s very important to look at J’s history to see the bigger picture here.
My theory is J was given permission to share her story detailing the dark side of the industry and promised protection if she also included certain details that they provided to her. If true, the motive could have been to help her home channel gain credibility and attract a large viewer base so they can manipulate the message. I believe these people do know some shit about some people, and they want to get out ahead and make sure they only go after their rivals.
I followed J, an up and coming influencer, to examine to see if I noticed any obvious agendas and stumbled upon a full blown conspiracy. I use as an example started with very levelheaded claims that were easy to digest and over the course of five years this influence lured in their viewers with insider knowledge that turned out to be true and by the end was spouting rumors that are easily traceable to certain movements that have been tied to antisemetism, anti LBGTQ, and violent ideologies. It started slow with a few buzzwords and before you knew it the comment sections had been taken over. She started by luring in the celebrity gossip community, specifically people over the age of 40, who treat gossip blogs like the gospel. It’s obvious why this community has been chosen as a target, and I’ve seen recently to rap community is not much better. I imagine whoever is orchestrating this campaign probably wasn’t expecting it to be this easy.
We very well may be witnessing a controlled takedown and the purpose usually is to take out any liabilities while painting their innocence. If a lot of sick people get outed for terrible crimes most people will assume the Feds weeded out all the bad seeds. It would be a public win for the FEDs and would address any criticism aimed at them and those in the industry who have been facing pressure to deal with these types of issues for at least 3 decades. It will also assuage a lot of the conspiracy communities who have been trying to bring light to these issues. I definitely believe the people they chose to take the rap are going to take the charges for all their co conspirators, so those close to them don’t catch any charges. This would be very important in a R.I.C.O. case.
After they’ve completed their mission and their message has been delivered they will then allow these messengers to continue to capitalize on their channel’s popularity. This way they could still manipulate to spread whatever they choose whenever it’s deemed it to be necessary, It probably won’t work too many times before people catch on. In they want to continue making content they can force them to dig up their old dirt. They could also easily provide them with a list of names they are and aren’t allowed to talk about. My guess is they know that most of them aren’t going to be able to find anything, and since they picked people willing to to say any thing for money, they know they will continue to do it with or without relevant information.
They could also continue aiding her in an effort to further the spread disinformation as a preemptive measure. They may threaten harm or violence if the view counts dip below a certain amount to prevent the messenger from self sabotaging in case they need to get their message to the massesIf in the future. If they do ever need them again to do the same thing or are themselves being targetted, they can use their messengers to discredit the facts about them and shine light on those who are leveling the allegations.
You may be wondering what if the enemy finds them and pays them more to doublecross their handlers? They can then use their messenger’s mental illness and paint them and their viewers as violent or mentally ill members of a disinformation cult and either blackmail them into retracting their claims or label them and their listeners as a disinformation cult that happened to be right about some things. Mental health issues can also help paint the narrative that the messenger is suicidal so they can take her out easier if needed. In the case of J it’s not out of the realm of possibility considering her recent struggle and probably played a big part in choosing her to be their mouth piece. since they can use her mental illness at any time to discredit her or create plausible deniability if any connection is made between them and they need to go to court to prove the opposite.
She’s such a wildcard their is no way they would’ve recruited her if they didn’t have an iron clad manipulation tactic with multiple failsafes in place. Usually threatening to kill someones entire family works just fine, but she doesn’t seem to be too worried about her families safety. This is why I think it’s the big labels going after their own artists because they know they’re probably going to get busted soon. Also studios rarely sign you and give you a good deal if they don’t have some type of dirt in case the artist to keep them in line, and use them for their own personal gains. They can also keep them from going after the messenger and better ensure their safety. If they had her go after another label’s artists they probably wouldn’t be able to cover all the bases when it comes to protection, which with J is necessary since she never has any security detail and constantly doxxes herself and her family on live.
While going though her interviews it became very clear to me something was very fishy off the rip. It became obvious after watching sections from all four of her main interviews that as time went on she began incorporating more and more lies and more and more ridiculous conspiracies into the narrative. For most people as soon as they hear a blatant lie they immediately write off anything coming from the source. Most people don’t do their own research so if the messenger tells a couple little white lies with a dramatic flair they can get away with it for a while. The more lies though the higher the chance of them getting called out and losing a portion of their audience as well as making any truth information that can’t be verified sound sketchy.
As I’ve said before J first two interviews do have a lot of verifiable claims, juxtaposed with her life story, and a few blatant lies. One thing I noticed is the majority of her allegations are against artists from her hometown in Philadelphia who were breaking into the industry around the same time as she was and managed to make their way to the top of their respective industries. Sadly neither of J’s two albums were well received and she lost her opportunity because of her combative personality mixed with major narcissism.
After her music career didn’t pan out she moved to Dallas, Texas to try to rebrand. After her son was murdered in 2018, similar to her career, her mental health took appeared to take a nosedive. Before the first interview in 2020, apparently rumors were floating around she was living out of cars and motels. She then met her husband who was ex-military and it seemed like he really built her up and helped her, possibly even writing the stories. In that first interview she accused multiple artists of mistreatment as well as assault. It went semi-viral and a good portion of the accused either provided evidence to contradict her or said the don’t want to go into it, and they seemed to know the situation and feel bad for her. The rapper Common, who she claimed had abused her even said he hopes she’s ok and wished her well. A lot of her fans took this and twisted them into him being guilty because he didn’t go off on a rant trying to claim his innocence and shit on J like they were expecting.
I belief either before or after the first interview got some attention she was contacted and either paid or blackmailed into doing another interview where she was fed information, some truth some lies, and told to mix it in to her life story. I also think her husband may have been one of her handlers. My suspicions stem from the fact that he popped up not long before the first interview and married her after like 3 weeks. I also noticed his way of speaking was also was very similar to J’s and he’d even use similar vocal inflections and speech patterns. They also displayed a lot of similar quirks. Another coincide is he claimed he was responsible for most of the technical support and played a huge part in establishing her online presence. He claimed to have learned everything in a day, and apparently people were shocked at how quickly he learned how to code websites and manage her accounts. A few weeks after getting married she had already made him a fifty/fifty partner for the a new television network she was promoting around the time, but was designed to steal peoples money.
She returned for a second interview in December 2022 and during her second video she mentioned Diddy and dropped a lot of information regarding his current case, his connections to many celebrities, and many specific details about their lives only an insider would have access to. Still there wasn’t much evidence to verify a good portion of her claims until Cassie filed her lawsuit a couple weeks later. I’m almost positive whoever is trying to bring Diddy to justice is connected to whoever is giving her all this info. During the interview J once again eloquently details the dark side of the industry.
Unfortunately her second interview was overshadowed by two separate incidents that both occurred only a few days later and were also caught on her live stream. First she was arrested at a Chicago airport for losing her mind at the security checkpoint. Not much longer after that during an apparent psychotic break, she was filmed in a barbershop parking lot abusing her husband then taking her sons ashes and throwing them her husband and his friends while acting like she was literally possessed. In a later interview she claimed to have Dissociate Identity Disorder from all the trauma and admitted that it was the cause of her psychotic breaks, which totally applies if someone was severely abused at a young age like she has claimed is the case. Eventually she was restrained by the police, strapped down, and tied to a stretcher.
After she got out of a mental hospital a couple days later, her and her soon to ex-husband did a couple separate interviews followed by one where they both discussed to situation together. Before the joint interview their original stories did not line up at all. From their description of events it’s obvious she was cheating and he seems intelligent enough to that, but instead claims the now leader of the Carbon Nation sex cult we’ll call Sol. According to their story he hypnotized her the first time they met and manipulated her into joining her and her husband on their planned weekend roadtrip after meeting in person for the first time. He also forced her into saying she wanted to kill her husband multiple times and letting him touch all over her while they were all in the car together. After that she went on and shared a painfully detailed description of the abuse she suffered as a child all they up until she left the industry. Not much longer after that her husband filed for divorce, further contributing to the spiral.
About three months ago she did another interview that clearly was made by someone else and was loaded with editing mistakes and long gaps without sound that are so muffled you can barely hear them. She also obvious took clips of the interviewer from previous interviews and pasted them together to form new questions and edited them in between her responses. This is also where her claims were all either recycled or included the wildest pizzagate rumors. Then as always she included them in her personal anecdotes so people feel bad for questioning her. The last interview I saw came out less than a week ago and it was even worse than the last and it seems like she’s now just shitposting and seeing how much she can get away with and sadly as expected most people are still eating it up out of the palm of their hand. People who literally worship these influencers like Gods.
Sorry for the giant tangent, but it seems obvious to me that the husband and the two interviewers were all working together. He dressed her up, got her sober and kept her on her meds so she could deliver these interviews. At the same time she was the one who agreed to literally sell her soul and I believe she conscientiously made the decision to scam others. I think everything with Sol was either planned by the three of them or at least the two men who both appeared randomly and were obviously both manipulators. They used their, “divorce,” to really kick things into overdrive and then either both left her there jobs were done. In my humble opinion it’s more likely that they are all mentally ill, desperate for money, and playing roles that were assigned to them for a very specific purpose. I’m almost positive the whole marriage was a sham to help contribute to the narrative that everything in the first two videos was true, until she lost her mind because of the DID, PTSD, and stress.
The last thing I’ll mention before getting back to Bryshere Gray is how I found it interesting that she chose a DID diagnosis. Bipolar used to be a big one, but most people these days know at least one person with it, and it’s easier to tell when people are faking. DID and BPD are the trendy ones now because they aren’t as well understood and easier to fake or play up for the camera. The large numbers of people obviously faking their symptoms, based off the symptoms of some influencer who is also faking. This makes it very difficult to know what’s . It’s also commonly brought up in more radical conspiracy groups as being part of the satanic agenda or brainwash people. I think they were intentionally trying to attract people who would get anything related to the movement send to the deep corners of the internet where those types tend to hide.
This all leads me to the wildest connection of the story. In 2015, when Gray joined Columbia Records, he was signed alongside his future Empire costar Jussie Smollett who ended up playing his older brother. For those who don’t know or remember in 2019, Jussie Smollett was found guilty of staging a hate crime against himself somewhere around the 4th season of he show. The expensive investigation revealed the motivation was political after revealing Michellle Obama’s form chief of staff reached out to Smollett’s lawyer and requested the case be handed over to the FBI. His lawyer then forward the request to Chicago’s Superintendent who approved the request and the case was dropped. After a massive uproar, pitting democrats and republicans against each other, he was resentenced in December 2019 and to this day his legal defense team is still trying to drag out the case so the prosecutor just drops the charges and they don’t have to admit guilt. (If interested the Wikipedia article sums up the whole thing very well.)
Up until his arrest for domestic violence over three years ago where he was caught multiple times lying to the police in his interview, he was found guilty. Seemingly overnight his career tanked and he essentially disappeared and clearly seemed to be dealing with some mental health issues. I find it interesting that after four years of silence he’s just deciding to come out now, and if this case is real in the first place I wonder if anyone is going to draw all these connections.
Aside from Smollett and Gray, the cast list attached to the TV series Empire reveals a lot of connections to a lot of high powered figures with strange connections to this whole conspiracy. A good example of one of these connections is Terrence Howards’s character, a top record label president named Lucious. After skimming the first season’s plot points, some appeared to be directly based on attributes commonly associated with Diddy.
When I looked a little deeper I found that Howard, who also originates from Philadelphia, was cast as the lead actor on the show, while still finding the time to deliver his infamous guest lectures around the world. The main focus of the lectures was discussing the theory he hypothesized which he appropriately named, “Terryology.” This came after being blacklisted from the industry for nearly seven years prior for beating up a crew member and being convicted of multiple domestic violence charges. After the incident with the crew member in 2008, it was revealed Howard had been replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel to his last hit movie, Iron Man.
Around the same time in 2008, he also signed a record deal with no other than Columbia Records. This came a few years before his infamous on screen sons joined a the same label years later. This can definitely be connected to Howard’s relationship with Gray’s manager Charlie Mack. Some other people who made guest appearances on the show include Naomi Campbell, Cassie, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Mary J. Blige.
The creator of the show Lee Daniel’s, the popular democratic activist whose connections go all the way up to the Obama’s, Oprah, and the Clintons. (Before I go any further, please don’t go down this rabbit hole much further, and to the people who use these type of stories to promote their agendas and spark even more political discord. Now more then ever we need to reel in both the far left and far right and meet as close to the middle as possible or else both candidates are going to continue to be worse every election. Please keep any comments politically neutral. I hate both candidates and I’m simply making connections and could care less who wins the upcoming election.
I think what we’re seeing now regarding Drake, Kendrick, Diddy, and people like Bryshere Gray and J and other influencers and content creators are all be used as weapons to distract people from something major going down and the fact that it’s only getting crazier every day, it appears whatever I’m referring to is yet to come, but won’t be long. Please keep all of this in mind before you start trying to research subjects like these. You may realize that some of the ideologies that have been chastised and tied to violence have been saying these types of things for years, and most of their evidence has been proven already or align with everything we’re seeing.
The paid protestors at Columbia is another example of political theater. Here is where people make the connection to Semetism and where most subscribers theories go off the fucking rails. Just because a lot of these things can be tied to Israel and Jewish Americans, a lot of people like to blame them for all the worlds problems, what they don’t realize is most of this stems from cultural traditions and generational wealth that was gained through hard work and promotion of high education. This has resulted in the majority of Jewish Americans holding more wealth than the average Christian household and most if this stems purely from jealousy and fucking Hitler. This is why the majority of people who go all in on these types of theories don’t have any further education than a high school diploma.
I know this doesn’t make them all dumb, but even a lot of very intelligent people like Ye and other major public figures got sucked into these communities without realizing they were part of the same agenda they were trying to expose. That’s how you end up with Ye saying he loves Hitler in a public interview and promoting Trump for president and supporting the fucking, “white lives matter,” movement along with the Candace Owen, the republicans answer to AOC. Even people with more formal education and fewer biases can and have been successfully targeted by these communities. It’s been shown time and time again that many of these recruiters who have been in their respective communities since their inception usually end up end reaching the same conclusions and the more people there are to confirm your beliefs or suspicions, the more likely it is you’ll accept everything else in they say as true. (This is a very similar conclusion the one I reached in my essay about J).
My belief is someone from the same circle that J was in during her singing career are the same people who reached out to Katt Williams and other blacklisted artists with long recorded histories of mental illness and substance abuse problems to lie by omission and allowing them to release preselected pieces of evidence without repercussions. They could easily know what information the Feds were able to acquire. They then had her leak those details to the public so when the details to come out it makes she can work with the Feds and dismiss any other allegations even if they are true. Obviously it won’t determine the outcome, but it can definitely go a long way in making sure certain details of the defendant choosing can be struck from the record if the evidence isn’t good enough.
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef. I believe that Al B. Sure! was planing to release all the info he had on Diddy in 2022, but may have been poisoned beforehand similar to theories about Diddys’s ex wife Kim Porter who was originally married to Kim before Diddy stole her away along with Al’s son, also Diddy’s stepson Quincy. Diddy has also been directly tied to the murders or mysterious deaths of at least a half a dozen more people who were close associates from the beginning of his career and were key players in the formation of Bad Boy. Coincidentally many of the victims had either exposed or were threatening to expose evidence related to all of these crimes. They are also using Keefe D. to take the charge for 2Pacs murder so he can spin the story and leave out and ties to Diddy who ordered the hit or did it himself.
Unfortunately for Diddy, unlike the rest of the people he had successfully silenced in the past, his dirt ended up coming out right around when Al ended up coming out of his coma and I think it’s likely that if my theory is correct he released all the info he had on Diddy. He even may have hinted in an interview at him being responsible for him falling into a coma. After he came out of the coma Diddy knew he was about to go down and before the raid he destroyed and staged all of his homes with evidence that would verify all the claims related to other celebrities over the age of 18. Meanwhile he got rid of all the videos involving murder, sa, child abuse, bestiality and other evidence that would bring major charges.
This is so he can cooperate with the Feds and help reduce his sentence. If he hid all the evidence they would know and work overtime to find it. Instead he lied by omission and corroborated the accusations that won’t completely destroy him. He can then release all his dirt to seem like he made all the blackmail with the intention of bringing down known predators who were able to get away with the same things he’s guilty of.
In the video of Diddy in the wig, he talks about partying with Drake and The Weekend and I believe he was able to acquire the blackmail. He then released the blackmail to selected people to ensure they leak at the appropriate time. The plan is to publicly out Drake for sex crimes so the rest of Hollywood knows not to testify against him. During the auction mentioned by ebony prince they are going to auction off all the dirt Diddy has collected the last 30 years. This includes dirt on Trump, which may be the reason behind all of this. The auction is four days after Election Day and will be used as a fail safe in case Trump wins the election.
When people who already have even the slightest political biases and less formal education, it can be very difficult to look at these things and not choose a side. This is their agenda to promote centrism and split the left and right even further to promote chaos and anarchy. I advise anyone who identifies as democrat or republican to be extremely cautious when exploring these topics and watch out for the type of things I mentioned. If the information is specifically pointed towards whichever party you identify with, they are trying to suck you in and fill your head with their beliefs.
*Update 2- I’ve never seen this amount of negative responses on any of the bullshit reposts and memes. Clearly people don’t want to actually think for themselves and are just trying to shut down any theory that contradicts their own. Y’all need to stop trying to disprove shit that actually promotes alternative ideas. This is exactly why this community was created. You don’t have to agree with everything, but if you see anything of interest you can do some more research if you’re interested if not just move on and mind your business. Either read it if you’re interested and do your own research or move along and mind your own business.