Hey there,
I am confused to the max and getting it out would help a lot right now.
I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years now and since the beginning I was open about being attracted to women aswell.
A few month ago a new girl joined our training group and the first thing I noticed is that she’s stunning. Second thing was my gaydar that blinked in all colors.
Especially recently I’ve noticed that I have developed feelings for her. I can’t stop thinking about her.
I am not sure if she’s even into girla, she just recently started dating (or having an affair with?) a guy. We see each other a few times a week and I am not sure how I can longer handle the situation of not being able to tell anyone. Not her and I’m not sure if I should / can tell my boyfriend.
Not sure what I am looking for in this post, maybe just someone that understands :)

In the latest episode Dave serves up an interesting definition of software based vs FPGA based emulation that goes something like this:
Software based emulation is concerned directly with replicating output while an FPGA based hardware representation is concerned with replicating hardware components and then relies on that fact to produce expected output.
But how accurate is this observation? I'm not an electrical engineer but I am a software developer. As such I know, that replicating the concurrency that happens on an Amiga 500 for example, would be hard to do accurately in software. I'm specifically thinking about Agnus, being the DMAC, sharing memory access with the CPU. There is no "true" concurrency in software, unless each chip is running on separate, physical cores, and even then, exact timing of resource sharing would be hard to replicate accurately, as I guess hitting even and odd cycles is controlled by a crystal oscillator on the Amiga, which you would need to implement with complex semaphore mechanics in software? But what about FPGA implementations in this regard? I'm aware that you can implement entire chipsets, but what about other hardware components, like crystals, that are integral to timing?
What I'm probably asking is, if FPGA emulation is really more "true" than software emulation? For the record I own a MiSTer myself and I don't intend to ignite a flame war - I'm just curious, as I see more logic on most boards than the CPU and custom chips.

We’ve been together for 4 and a half years basically. We’ve know each other for 10. Liked each other in high school, life happened, I moved away, she had a kid, found our way back to each other, and ended up having a child of our own 2 years ago. To try and summarize, she feels once our daughter was born, that I got too comfortable and acted as though I knew she wasn’t going anywhere. I worked overnight construction for years, even before we got together, made it to a superintendent position, with a job where I averaged anywhere from 65-80+ hours a week. She was home with the kids, I didn’t make enough to put the kids in daycare, and couldn’t commit to any kind of permanent arrangement to assist her with taking care of the kids so she could work. The goal, since before we got together, was for me to leave my trade, but I made more money doing that, than we would have if we both started entry level jobs, not to mention then having to pay for daycares. I was offered help by my mother who lived out of state to bring me family over there with promises of help so we could make the changes necessary to restructure our life and improve our situation. I got here, worked in my same trade for a few months until the rain season began, and she immediately began her course to become a CNA, then started work as one, and makes decent money. Well she made a friend there, who I honestly can’t stand. I have NEVER told her who she can and can’t see, hang out with, talk to, nothing like that, she’s never given me a reason to doubt her, she has always been a loyal person and very honest. This friend of hers, without spending time on all the details and making this post even longer, tries encouraging my girlfriend to do things or think certain ways that I feel are detrimental to our relationship. Telling her she should start an OF, is one example, and when my girlfriend vented to her about an issue we had, told her that I am a narcissist like every guy she’s been with and to just leave me.
For some context, I forgot our anniversary. I think I’ve forgotten it almost every year, because it wasn’t really a special occasion, we talked about it a few months into our relationship basically saying “hey we’re dating right? Like this is official? What do we tell people if they ask what our anniversary is? Okay cool, sounds good, moving on.” I get it, that mindset was wrong of me. I also procrastinate on things like holidays, birthdays, whatever, and have had some instances where I really should have tried harder to make her feel special and appreciated. I used to do the hallmark movie corny stuff, I used to have a notebook I’d write in when I got home in the mornings while she was asleep about how I loved her, she’s beautiful, I appreciate her, blah blah. One time I set a path from the front door to the upstairs bath with candles, flower petals, where a bath was drawn, with red lights for ambiance and a bath bomb for her. It fell off because the honey moon phase ended, although I feel it lasted a long time, and life events happened that lead to some emotional dry spells on her part where she wasn’t ready to receive affection, her grandmother passing, having a miscarriage far along in our first pregnancy together, her step father dying, and then also the stresses of my job wearing me out, and getting comfortable subconsciously telling myself that even though I don’t always do those same things anymore, she knows I think she’s the greatest and I love her.
I have a bad habit that I’ve been working on for a few months now, where if she’d bring up things that made me nervous to think about or stress me out to plan, I would play too much and not take the situations seriously, and make her not feel heard as a result. I always teased that I don’t believe in legally getting married, that I’d take her to the courthouse and let her change her last name to mine and then we can have a ceremony after. 2 years ago I told her that wasn’t the case, and we finally talked about it where I told her that once our situation is right, in marrying her. I know in hindsight that I should have still placed it as a higher priority, but we never really talked about it further, and she clung to what I’d said before that about us never getting married. When our fighting started getting bad about 2 months ago, and we finally communicated what the underlying root of her unhappiness was, I had a huge perspective change. Some other big events happened, my step father who we lived with overdosed from fentanyl in our basement, and really changed my perspective on life and how quickly things can end and change and blah blah, to where I told her that I don’t want to fight, she is my one, and I want to marry her. She basically took it as me saying it out of fear to get her to stay. I’ve been trying to show her that I want to make the effort she is asking for. That she is as special to me as I say, but now in her mind she is taking an approach of “why did it take 4 years to get to this point.”
I never try to deny responsibility for my actions, I always try to be quick to reflect and acknowledge where I may have been wrong. But now I almost feel like my readiness to say okay I messed up by getting comfortable and not making you feel heard in these situations and everything else I’ve talked about, kind of seems like I’ve only made her feel completely validated in her idea that I have messed up for 4 years and just not appreciated her. I almost want to tell her that yes, I have slowed down and gotten comfortable, but no, there’s are so many examples of times I’ve still shown you how much I cared. I fear doing so will come off argumentative, and give her more fuel to the fire of her friend calling me a narcissist. Side note: she has since stopped getting advice from that friend, because she did come to the conclusion that her friend does not have her best interest, and has seen an uglier side to her as time has gone on, but I feel the seeds of discord have been sown.
I’m so sorry, I hope some of you with good intentions stick through all of this, and I know there’s other context that could help, but I guess I just need some ideas on what to do. 7 weeks ago we started fighting over petty day to day things, 5 weeks ago we finally established her root of unhappiness, 4 weeks ago she said she needed space, 2-3 weeks ago we said we were taking a break, and I feel her feelings of negativity have only grown. I’ve sucked at giving space admittedly, as time goes on I’ve gotten better though I fear damage has been further done by not doing great about accepting her request for space. Idk, we have a child together, I love both of the children like they’re my own blood, I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship (I know I’m young, still) and now that we’re finally hitting our goals with our lifestyle changes and career changes, now she’s finally gotten to this point of giving up.
Do I try giving her space, doing my own thing and seeing if that separation and seeing my positive activities draws her back in? Or has it gone on so long that that’s not going to work? Do I try saying finally “hey I acknowledge my mistakes, but in your attempts to focus on my wrong doings I feel like you’re ignoring all the good things I did and I’d like you to try remembering those? I don’t hit her, cuss at her, our heated fights can probably be counted on 1, maybe 2 hands, I don’t cheat, I provide, I’ve taken care of the kids just about by myself for the past 5 months to give her room to get her new profession down, I cook and clean every night, not to be crass but our intimate life is very good, I know I deliver for her on that account, and I’m someone who is always willing to apologize and adapt and adjust. Any advice that isn’t slanderous to either of us would be awesome, I get at this point that if it’s too late then I need to just start preparing for that eventuality and working on myself, but for the sake of keeping my family together, I want to exhaust all of my options to make this work.

(F32). I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now (M32). For reference, I’m a pretty low maintenance person—I can sleep in any noise/light level, I function well on 6-7 hours of sleep, I don’t get carsick, I’m not an anxious traveler, I do not care what particular style my clothing is folded in, etc. My boyfriend is the opposite of each of the above mentioned things.
He has to sleep 9-11 hours to feel rested. This is challenging for me bc if I sleep more than 8, I feel groggy. It’s also a hinderance bc it means I can’t go in my own bedroom after 9pm without waking him up. So many times if I want to stay up later to work on my computer, I’ll end up spending the night sleeping on the sofa (but don’t worry, he will then complain I quote “just don’t like to sleep next to him”).
He has to sleep with a fan on. I knew this the first night he slept over at my home, and I didn’t see it for the flag it was—at the time, he played it off as he had to have white noise. 11 months later we have to sleep with the curtains closed, windows closed, air conditioning on, and a pitch black room.
He has aversions to some smells—ie, air fresheners in the house. So I stopped using them. I used a laundry detergent that was too strongly scented, had to stop using it the first month we were dating. Please note: he has no issue with using scented lotions or body wash.
He gets car sick allegedly. Which makes it convenient for him to say he “needs to drive” for some functions, and for others, convenient for him get very upset with me for “driving erratically” on long drives where he has asked me to drive so he can work on his laptop, but then is angry bc I’m driving in crosswinds and wasn’t steady enough.
Clothes have to be folded VERY particularly. The sheets have to be put on the bed VERY particularly. I load the dishwasher “wrong”.
For awhile, I believed these were just joking, or being a princess and they would pass. Now, a year in, it’s bred a great deal of resentment, and I realize I enabled all his high maintenance behaviors.
Tonight I came home, and was greeted by my dog at the front door. I thought it was sweet initially, but then wondered why she wasn’t in the bedroom on her bed. He woke up (clearly irritated that my flight got in late) and informed me she was “breathing too loudly” so he had shut her outside of the bedroom. He’s been recently been on a tangent that she breathes too loudly at night (ironic bc he himself snores).
I’ve had it. Is there any way to walk these behaviors back now, or really bite back? Or am I just screwed bc I smiled and took it all this time? Or are these all legitimate and not just him being high maintenance?

Dating newbie here! I've been seeing this guy for almost 6 months now, and we've been exclusive for about 2 months. Since we live about 1.5 hours away from each other, it can be hard to spend time together in person, especially during the week. However, my love language is quality time, so I like to be able to spend time in person at least every other week. Since I tend to be busy over the weekends, I also prefer to make plans in advance.
The issue I've been facing is that I feel like I'm constantly the one making plans. I know he enjoys spending time with me, and that he cares about me, but I tend to the the one making the effort to actually plan things. It didn't bother me too much when we first started dating, but now I feel like I'm not worth the effort, which hurts. I don't even care for fancy dates. I'm perfectly happy with just staying in and watching movies or playing video games. I have brought this up with him, and things did get better for a while, but now I'm back to feeling like I'm not a priority in his life.
I should mention though, that while he doesn't always make time to see me in person, he makes an effort to stay in touch every day. We text every day and talk on the phone most days.
I experience anxiety related to various aspects of my life, including dating, which sometimes affects how I see my relationship and my partner. I guess I'm just wondering if this is mostly my anxiety or if I have a valid reason for feeling the way I do.

Hello everyone 👋
I'd be grateful for some advice. I'm a 27f who's strongly considering moving 1 state over to be with my 33yr boyfriend, but I've never moved before and I'm terrified.
He and I have been dating for the better part of 2 years. We're both from California but he moved to Oregon about 8 months ago. He's asked me to move with him since he left.
I still, and have always lived with my family since it's so expensive in California. Its the house I grew up in and I've never had a real reason to leave home. I have a good relationship with my parents and was always encouraged to stay. Though now, I feel like I've hit a plateau in some of my personal development. There's nothing really wrong with my life here at home. I live in a great location, my rent is affordable considering the area, I have a reliable job in the service industry, I'm liked by my coworkers and customers, I have wonderful friends, and of course my family who I'm close to.
But since I graduated college 2yrs ago and my parents splitting up during that time; I've been struggling a little to truly feel content and happy like I once did. I'm easily stressed, I find myself irritable, impatient, and feeling bad about myself more often. I don't feel terrible everyday though, so I'm worried I'm being dramatic.
My boyfriend is fiercely independent and a quick to decisions. He really stuggles with depression and he was working a corporate job and paying high rent for a small apartment. He seemed wildly unhappy, so when he unexpectedly inherited some money from family he quickly bought a house. He seems much happier now and more excited about life.
Before he left he expressed regret about leaving me behind but we weren't really in a place in where it made sense to move with him. Additionally I was, and still am afraid of the unknown. Being away from everything and everyone I've ever known gives me anxiety. (though everything gives me anxiety)
Our relationship hasn't always been perfect but nothing bad. We're oppposties in many ways and we've had some miscommunications and have had to establish boundaries. Like any relationship we will continuously work through these things. This has been expressed and agreed upon. Though I do slightly worry about his depression and mental state in general and how that will effect things over time (I guess we'd just have to see) been able to work through it so far.
I think we've supported each other's emotional and personal growth over these years. He seems committed to wanting to make things work with me more than ever. We do love each other. We've seen one another every month and gone on either long or short trips since he's left. I've visited the place where he's moved and it's cute and fun but a bit of a smaller town than what I'm used to. He already has friends in Oregon some new and some old, he's integrated me into the group. His friends think I should move up. But of course when I talk about it with people in my life it's like 50/50 people hate the idea or love it. Obviously the idea of moving for a partner is controversial.
It would be a 180 change for me and I'm very stressed about making it; but I could see the benefits for him, me, and us together. If it goes wrong I could always come home right?
I'd be an 8hr drive away from home 1hr flight. I would be worried about leaving my family since I believe the do rely on me slightly (financially and emotionally). I also wouldn't be excited to leave my job since I feel like they count on me. I'd be sad to let others down. Plus I like it, but at the end of the day it's a bar. I'd miss my friends and family a lot But I'm confident I could establish a new group in time.
At its worst the decision seems very grey and it could be awful - if it fails or I stay home and we eventually break up. But at its best it could be a possibility for needed change, independence, and an opportunity to further my personal development as well as grow into a serious relationship. I wish I was better at this 😞
TL;DR Should I continue building on an established life in my hometown? Or should I take the opportunity to move and start a new life elsewhere for the first time? Potentially very risky but possibly great.

I've been wearing rose quartz recently and noticed I've been much calmer while having the crystal around my neck. I was reading about using it to attract and wonder if it were possible to make a specific person notice me.
This person definitely has feelings because he's depressed after I rejected him. We've been back and forth over the last couple years. The timing wasn't right the first time because I was just getting out of a toxic relationship. When we first met the connection was something I've never felt before, we were by each other's side nearly every single day but didn't get to formally date. Fast forward 1.5 years later and I wrote him a letter professing my interest that he threw at me. He then came up to me 1.5 months later and tried flirting with me like we used to, I snubbed him and explained I wouldn't give someone a chance who treats me like he did. I see he's sorry and I want to show him my interest but he's hard to get through to.
Will a rose quartz necklace if worn attract him or is there anything special which needs to be done?
Another thing, while we are different people on the surface, he's very similar to me in many aspects like romanticism, politeness, and sensitivity. His emotions are quite large and warm like mine. I don't know if these are important details but think they might help.

Apologizes for the long post, some important details to explain in the beginning to help better set the stage to explain things.. So my fiancé and I got engaged back in 2021 after dating for 10 years, being high school sweethearts & moving down south together to start a new life together where it’s more affordable. We’ve always managed to do ok for ourselves & are completely self sufficient. With that said our jobs pay well but we still struggle sometimes.. which is part of the reason why we haven’t tied the knot just yet.
We originally set our date to fall of 2023 back in spring of 2022.. proposed to our bridesmaids and groomsmen, mailed out save the dates, etc. In early spring of 2023, my fiancé ended up getting hurt at work which required surgery on his shoulder.. with the timing of everything this would mean he’d still be in a sling at the wedding.. we made the hard decision to postpone our big day to next fall of 2024 so we could both properly enjoy our big day and sent out new save the dates immediately. (This gave all our guests little over a years notice of the switch)
Jumping to the whole point of this now, December 2023 comes around and my best friend of 18 years gets engaged to her now fiancé whom she started dating right after I moved & barely know aside from the stories she tells me yet I’m OVER the moon for her ! (How exciting I am to have someone to go thru this wedding stuff with who can related !?) She is so excited and starts planning immediately & they tour venues the following week. They toured 2 venues & instantly loved 1 of them and immediately put down a deposit. She tells me right after and sends me pics & it’s this gorgeous venue that is also right on the wateocean. I am so shocked they lucked out so fast and ask when’s the wedding ?! She told me the date LITERALLY 3 weeks before my wedding…
At this point I’m speechless.. I immediately while in a state of shock congratulate her.. I’m so happy for you...
I told this to my fiancé who’s known my BFF just as long as me as we all grew up & went to the same school & he was FURIOUS & hurt.. he said it was selfish & that she basically f’d me over by getting married literally 1 month prior to us. He now wants nothing to do with her and refuses to speak to her again or attend their wedding period due to the disrespect of it all. I’m not a confrontational person & was so hurt by all this.. but knew I had to address it with her.. I waited a week or 2 then explained how hurt both me and my fiancé are & how difficult of a situation this puts us in (given she’s my BFF & knew how sad I was to have had to postpone the year prior) & how it hurt that they could consider his brothers feelings and his big day but not mine ?
(FYI she’s an only child if it means anything & we were so close my parents call her their daughter & I refer to her as my sister… she also told me I’d be her maid of honor whenever she’d get married bc of how close we are.. she was at least smart enough to not throw that on my plate thankfully.. however not to sound arrogant but if our dates weren’t on top of each other I’m POSITIVE she would’ve asked me)
Shel went into “defense” mode and instantly began stating why they chose the date..
1) her fiancés little brother is getting married in 2025 & so he refuses to get married the same year as it’s “not fair to steal his spotlight” if I remember correctly
2) it’s their dream venue
3) the only available dates left for 2024 was that last week of summer or November 2024.. she stated that bc her venue is on the water, she couldn’t do November bc of her elderly grandmother and how she could get sick (which is understandable)
4) they want to start having kids like now so they are in a rush to get married asap
Now this left me in such a weird feeling of confusion, hurt & sadness.. she already agreed to be my bridesmaid 2 yrs ago, our other mutual best friend who is a single mom as her child’s father passed was now asked to also be her bridesmaid too.. we have a TON of mutual friends & guests & with me moving down south 5 yrs ago & having the wedding down here.. my wedding is kinda considered a “destination” wedding as majority of our guests are traveling to our state.
She then tried to smooth it over by saying how she never meant to make me feel that way & then blamed her fiancé bc HE wanted that date & “didn’t give her any other option”… By her blaming it also makes me want to believe her bc he has always been very controlling of her.. constantly makes comments about her weight & says she’s getting fat, calls her 3x a day to see if she went to the gym, gets mad if she ever plays Xbox w me once in a blue moon bc that makes her “lazy” (mind you she’s an LPN and works 12 hour shifts smtns and is ALWAYS on her feet, she never wants to do nothing period- she has gastro issues that cause bloating & HE KNOWS THIS). He always tells her she’s not allowed to cut her hair prior to the wedding bc HE wants it long.. and it’s not like he asks or says it nicely either.. (bottom line, me and the rest of her bridesmaids strongly dislike him for all this and several other reasons which we’ve told her for years but are trying to be supportive bc in the end it’s her life/decisions )
Fast forward a little more, right after I tell her this & she gives me that story.. I tell her I need some time to heal, get over it, etc.. but that I love her bc she’s like a sister to me and I can’t imagine missing her big day or not being apart of it…
About a week or 2 after this, her MOH starts a chat and surprisingly has her bridal shower & Bach dates picked out already.. leaving me with not many options of when to do mine as mine will also be up North since none of my family is down south.. this makes my fiancé even more mad bc now he’s saying how I have to plan around her & this adds to why he was initially pissed bc it takes my spotlight away that I’ve patiently waited for.. so her Bach is May 2024 & shower is June 2024.. wedding last day of August 2024.. I decline her bach bc I can’t afford/take more time off work to travel.. and said I’d aim for shower if I can and yes to her wedding..
my Bach & Shower are now in July 2024.. back for back weekends so I’m up there for a week and a half for both.. (I had no idea how else to make it work at this point so just decided to do it all together.. )
She just had her Bach this past weekend and apparently she fought and said mean things to ALL of her bridesmaids and they are all pissed at her and 1 even dropped out of her wedding all together because of it.. our mutual BFF went and called me in tears when she got home bc of how selfish she was acting apparently & basically told them all that “this weekend was all about her and it’s not like any of them are getting married anytime soon or have anything excited going on in their lives so they need to get their shit together” (this was the 1st night on a Friday after everyone worked an 8+ hour day then drove 4-5 hours to the Airbnb). They dropped so much $ on this trip for her and she got into a verbal altercation with each of the 7 of them about how they weren’t doing enough to “party” and have fun with her the moment they got there.. this same argument continues the next day/night apparently to the point NOBODY wanted to be near her as they felt they’d be her next target. Come morning, everyone packed their stuff & ran home upset that the whole weekend they planned was nothing but arguments and ruined..
After hearing this & the comments she made, it really sent my thoughts racing.. how can she be so selfish to these girls whom I watched and helped from afar plan this whole trip for her? I’ve only been “gone” for 5 yrs and visited at least 1-2x a year since & constantly kept in touch everyday but I don’t recognize this person who’s supposed to be my BFF anymore..
To sum up this whole thing now.. I’m torn.. should I have ever bothered letting my initial hurt of the whole month before our wedding situation go in the first place when I forgave her? My Father, FIL & SIL are just as pissed as my fiancé is and don’t understand how I could just be okay with it all but commended me on being the bigger person to save my 18+ yr friendship bc they couldn’t.. Should I just back out of shower too and or her wedding entirely to save myself the extra stress ? I also have my Bach & Shower in July & her still one of my bridesmaids on top of all this to which some of my other bridesmaids are also mad at her for the situation & also agree w my fiancé who messed up it is… 🤦🏻‍♀️ SOS & please be kind to me if you can.. I’ve been so emotionally all over the place bc of this 🙏🏻🫶🏻

I hope this is the right place to post this, I didn’t know where else to ask.
Firstly, just to clarify, I’m saying boyfriend but we aren’t officially dating and we’ve only been seeing each other for like 2 months but idk what else to call him.
Anyways, last week he texted me to say that his brother was just killed and he probably wouldn’t be responding much. I told him I was so sorry, to take his time, and that I was here for him. He never responded so I assumed he just wanted his space but I’ve been questioning if I should message him again to check in on him.
Cause he never responded to my original I’m so sorry message so I assumed that meant he would message me when he was ready, but he also never said he needed space and I don’t want it to seem like I don’t care because I do care. If it were just a friend I would just check on them but I don’t want to seem like weird for messaging him if he doesn’t want to be bothered.
I’ve never lost a close family member so I have no idea how to go about this. I just want to support him the best I can. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 🙏

Backstory on our relationship. we have been together for five years, we started dating pretty fast within three months I had moved in due to the pandemic. I was already staying at his house and the same time we went on lockdown we had to stay together in the same house. Our relationship started off really good. We were so in love, the spark was there, the sex was great, it was everything I could ever ask for. in my past, I have had some rough relationships where I was always the provider, the one with a car, job, money. My last relationship before this one I had a daughter and we separated because her biological dad was not ready to grow up.
In the beginning of our relationship, like I said, it started off good . I would say, I was immature, and just learning to discover myself as a mom, partner, and having a real relationship living with someone. I did some immature things, sneaky things, as far as get attention on social media, I feel like a lot of the times. Also since this guy had a job, money, a car, a house I took advantage of it. He spoiled me like crazy, I got to stay home for a year without working, while he paid all of my bills and pretty much took care of me for the most part. I did slack off in the beginning I wouldn’t clean, cook, take care of my responsibilities so he had to get on my ass. I end up realizing that I need to grow up and become a woman. I changed completely and became a “wife”.
About two years in is when I really started to see “the real” him. It started off with him, calling me little names here, and there and him criticizing little things that I did. we would get into little fights and I didn’t want my daughter to be around that so I would leave, it started off as once every couple months I would go stay at my parents house for the weekend, to get away from the fighting. That turned into once a month, then that turned into a couple times a month. It became such a normal thing, the cussing and fighting became worse. he can be really hurtful with words and he would always be me, put me down. Examples: ( Fat bitch, I could find another bitch tomorrow, you’re a fucking whore, slut, fuck you, I can’t stand you, dumb bitch) He started criticizing every single thing that I did, I started to believe that I could never do anything right, and I wasn’t enough. Don’t give me wrong I was not perfect. I would also call him too only because he would call me names. I have a bad attitude with him, and sometimes I do come off, really blunt, and aggressive. Anytime I did come off this way he would blow up and turn it into this huge fight.
Around year 3, we both rededicated our lives to God. Our relationship started to come around again, we were so full of love, we were communicating better and starting to get along more, we would have arguments, but it seemed like we were able to solve them without kicking each other out of the house, or cussing and screaming at each other. We would both hear each other out and it was going good for the most part. , It started all over again. I don’t understand one day I could be the greatest thing that has ever happened to him and in a matter of an hour, if I gave him the wrong answer, an attitude, or if he thought, I said something disrespectful all hell would break loose. They got to the point where he would literally kick me out at two or three in the morning, obviously I would take a little bit of dignity that I had and I would wake my daughter up, carry her into the car and I would go to a hotel because at this point I was just too embarrassed to go to my family’s house.
Fast forward until now , we have been separated for about six months. I’m living back with my parents and he stayed at the house that we built together. In my daughter’s life, to her that is her dad, she does not know her biological dad or anything about him. He calls it “co-parenting” but in reality, he only comes to her softball games once a week shows up late, for 30 minutes, pick her up on Sundays Spends a few hours with her and drops her off. I really am doing everything by myself, I work full-time, and I show up to every single one of her events, I buy her everything, I am with her 24/7. I feel bad because my daughter really loves him, she cares for him, my daughter is very smart. She wants us to be a family again, but I feel bad distancing them from each other. I know he’s not her biological dad, but he pretty much raised her when we were together. I know he loves her, and she really loves him. I just don’t know what to do in the situation, I blame myself for a lot because I feel like if I never acted the way that I did in the beginning of the relationship maybe he wouldn’t have been as toxic or the way that he was throughout the rest of our relationship. Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any advice for me? I don’t go to therapy, I don’t have friends, and my family are just over it. They don’t want to talk about it. So I’m really just using this as a venting session, whether anyone replies, comments, or anything at least I was able to get this off my chest

Hey Reddit! I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or insight so any opinion is welcomed tl;dr My boyfriend and I (M24 and F24) have known each other for our entire lives. Parents were friends we grew up right next door to each other for a majority of our childhood until his family moved. Didn’t really stay in contact through out teen year or after high school. I moved out of state for a couple of years came back home and he reached out as he heard through the grapevine I want doing to well. Started just hanging out kinda like catch up but over the span of 7 months we grew close which eventually wound up to a very drunk night which led to us dating. I never understood the whole idea of marrying your best friend thing until now. I know I’m young but I only see a future with him, I have never been comfortable and open to anyone else. Well the current issue is we live over a hour away from each other, I run my own business and work primarily from home while he works in construction with very long hard hours. During the week we don’t see each other as our schedules don’t line up or we’re too tired. There are mostly daily phone calls, but we don’t really text and frankly I’m not a fan of phone calls in general I try and enjoy our conversations but it’s just not the same. Weekends are a hit or miss due to events, friends or family while also prioritizing our quality time together. In the weekend he comes out to my place as I live alone and I have too many pets to go to his place. I did however mention pretty early on in our relationship the idea of moving in together which he said felt too much and I learned was a lot to suggest so early but I want to see how we can progress. We live in a rural area so most things we do on weekends are mostly home base as I live 30 minutes from town. I honestly feel like I have to put my routine on pause on weekends, like yeah we go out to my events or go hangout with my friends and I drive in for his family events which feels like it takes into our time together because are very social but they do drain the social battery. Am I crazy for thinking our solution to more time together is moving together? Or thinking this is the next step? Extra info. We have been dating for over a year but I have known him and his family all my life. Him and I have traveled together with no issues. I am loving out of state next year to finish my graduate degree (he did know about this even before we started dating) we have had very in depth conversations about how we will proceed and have agreed living together will happen before moving away from friends and family as he has never left our town and making final decisions before completely uprooting his entire life for me to focus on school. Thank you

Hi all. I’m 34 female and I grew up in very rural Illinois. I’ve experienced a lot of close death in last 4 years, so a little heads up and trigger warnings. They’ve all seemed to build up and crescendo into this current wave I find myself under and I guess this is me reaching for some help. In 2019, a close friend who I had been traveling and working with was killed by random gun violence. I had been with him the day before, said ’see you tomorrow’ and then he was gone. Besides grandparents, at the age of 29, I hadn’t experienced a close death of someone my age and loosing this friend rocked me hard. It seems since this moment, death really latched o to me. Two years later, one of my very best friends passed from a fentanyl overdose only days after we had spent 3 months side by side. We traveled the United States in his Van living together, went separate ways for less than a week, and then I was getting a call from his friend who found him. I had to notify all his friends and family. At the end of last year, my best friend of 27 years, truly my sister and closest companion in this worlds, unexpectedly ended her life. There was never a single sign I saw as her closest friend. She was dating someone new, I found the circumstances suspicious as he was there when her death occurred, but I could not convince her family to pursue an investigation. Her boyfriend then died over an overdose one month later, so whatever answers he had remain forever gone. On Christmas Day, a little over 2 months after the death of my best friend, my 72 year old father told me he had pancreatic cancer. I put my grief for my best friend in the back burner, moved home, and threw myself into being my father’s main caretaker. On March 1st, my father passed away. I’m now caring for his 15 acres of property and packing up his home alone to eventually sell it.
My best friend and I used to talk about how we’d be there for each other our entire lives, especially through the loss of our parents. Now that my dad has been gone over 2 months and the shock of a new diagnosis turned to hospice caretaking to death has settled in, all the grief is hitting me like a wave. I miss my best friend more than ever, like I pushed away her death to care for my dad and now it’s fully surfacing.
Grief has wrung me dry. It took who I was and twisted it into a million knots that I don’t know how to begin to untangle. I would like to seek therapy but I feel I need more than the ‘what stage of grief are you in’ approach because it’s all become so complicated. Most days I feel ok staying busy packing my dads home and then nights alone, I fall apart. I am living for them and would never harm myself, for them, but the majority of my support system was wiped out in the last 6 months and everything seems so hard.

My ex gf (32F) and I (35M) broke up after 9 total years. Have I just made a huge mistake?
My ex gf (32F) and I (35M) broke up after 9 years. Have I made a giant mistake as result of my circumstances?
We were together 6 years. First year or two was all gravy. Then we started having fights and it got so bad at year 6 we split up. A year later we started hanging out lightly again and fell back in love. She moved back in. Things went well again for a while. 6 months ago or so things started to get bad again. We agreed to pursue couples counseling. This wasn’t very effective unfortunately, which has added to the hurt if that makes sense.
When we fight (or fought), and I’m sort of ashamed to admit this, it bleeds into other areas of my life. Jobs were impacted. I felt like I didn’t have the energy to give due to the stress from constant arguing and intense arguing. My family relationships were sort of impacted because of the stress and constantly trying to seek out advice. Same with some friendships. I’ve had certain friends and folks that have wanted us to see it end for years. “But hey what do they know? We know the situation best.”
The truth is this person IS one of the few people on this planet that I feel genuinely cared about me aside from family, and the ONLY girl I’ve ever met who showed the kind of care and interest in me as she did. But we always seemed to be struggling to meet each other’s needs. For years there was a theme of her feeling unappreciated and unloved. For me, we didn’t go out and enjoy life enough. We rarely or very infrequently interacted with each other’s families. This frustrated me moreso vs her. Lots of my family is very local to me.
Look, I am not perfect and I am far from it. I’ve been unemployed for a year. But I did use my CC and my retirement funds to pay my way. I never borrowed money and she was very supportive and “cool” with my not working while I contemplated the next career step. I had a bad ending with my last company where I had lost both my grandfathers very close to each other, one of them to a self inflicted gunshot wound. It def effected me.
Anyways, two months ago I started putting two honest feet forward. I started applying to jobs. I’ve been exercising and have lost 10lbs in the last month alone, and down from 253 to 235 this year. I took on individual therapy a month ago even though I cannot afford it. Mostly to help get past prior work frustrations.
And then one day two weeks ago shit hit the fan with our relationship. Her feeling unappreciated and unloved for years and years culminated. She said she was done with couples counseling and I needed to fully focus on individual. This upset me. Things escalated, and we broke up.
I feel quit on. And betrayed. But I also feel past mistakes with work etc snowballed and she grew tired of insecurities I was expressing and complaining about regarding comparing to my working successful peers. In her words, she no longer knew how to offer support and felt unappreciated and unloved.
One thing that bugged me is we agreed to pursue individual therapy together at the recommendation of our couples counselor. She never got around to it. She blamed “delays in the Kaiser network.”
I feel I have pushed away and cut out someone special in my life. I am sad/numb. I fear this is just culmination of my mistakes and she grew tired of a “loser.”
What happened? Did I simply mess up?
TLDR: 9 year relationship ended. We tried counseling. We both felt our needs werent met constantly to where counseling wasnt effective. She has a good heart. Feel like she genuinely cared about me but it seemed hard so often to go out casually or spend time with each other’s families. She felt unappreciated and unloved, I felt betrayed when after acknowledging I needed to move forward in my life with career and fixing our relationship and putting two honest feet forward for the last 2 months and she quit when things escalated one day and we both felt wronged. Hard letting go. Feeling like I screwed up and this is all my fault and I just kind of suck at life?

My girlfriend and I are each other’s first significant other. We’ve been dating for 8 years now. It’s been more like a marriage really, we started living together after a few months of dating. We’ve gone through college together and have had shared many memories and life milestones together. From buying our first cars, getting our first apartment, graduating college, landing our first salary jobs. We love each other’s families and get along well. We’re both successful in our careers, and make a decent living. Only step left is marriage right?
In our culture marriage is heavily pressured. Mainly on the men, extra on me since my older bothers failed to find wives. The joke is “I’m my family’s last hope to continue our bloodline.” All my life I’ve been reminded this. The day she met my family she’s been called the “Wife that hasn’t had a marriage yet.”
Since the start of our relationship, my girlfriend has stuck to me like glue. After a few months of dating, I drove her back to her hometown 2.5 hours away from college for summer break. Once it was time for me to go, she insisted she come back with me. I accepted, and we haven’t spent more than two weeks apart since.
I know I love her and she’s a keeper for sure, but sometimes I question if it was ever even my choice. I feel as though we were force married and we did it to ourselves. Our sex life has been mediocre, mostly my fault. It’s just hasn’t been interesting the last 6 years. I think I’m okay with having a one and only? I see how this could lead to problems in the future. Not sure if it gets any easier. I feel like this is an uncommon experience, and we have no to relate to in this context.
In recent years, we’ve had a few arguments. I’ve alway toughen things out, but I’ve bottled up too much over the years. I’m confident there’s been no cheating, but her keeping a secret from me 5 years into our relationship has really damaged my trust in her. Now that the pressure for marriage is at an all time peak. I’ve started reflecting on our relationship as a whole and have started asking myself “Is this even what I want?”, “Am I even happy?”, “How come I never had the butterflies?”, “Why don’t I know she’s the one?”
I’ve tried talking to friends and family about this, but I see it on their face they’ve already taken a side as soon as it’s mentioned.
The thought of this hurts me to my core.

i like Warhammer 40k, but 40k doesnt afford you the abilty to let you play your own custom character or faction if it isnt up to certain specs in tournaments(lore strict rules). and running an army battle in dungeons and dragons is overly complicated unless you ignore a bunch of rolls and rules.
i propose a blend of both. who's cannon takes place in the cosmos of perspective.
(you make your own faction cannon. )
each unit type has user generated has one data sheet, each named character you have would have their own data sheet.
the models can be 3-D printed or kitbashed, but they must be at 1/36 scale. essentially one infantry= one of those cheap plastic army men standing at 5 cm tall.
from here, this was typed up before today, by a few months. there is no campaign.
but i would imagine a new fandom in table top roleplay would be born regardless
___________________________________________________________________________________________
WELCOME TO BATTLEPOSTINGS T.T.R.P.G.
A tabletop rpg for diy, model painting, kit bashing, 3-DPrinting, and plastic army battling enthusiasts.
all parts of this game are user generated, with the exception of the rules. Though u/Khorde__the__Husk sent this to a bunch of redditors for help in balancing the game and setting up basic play structure.
Things to note:
· You must have one “advisor” per two warlords in the session. Advisors, act as the game master to make sure no one is cheating. If there is confusion on what kind of weapon a unit has in their hands or equipped to their armor, the Advisor has final say. The advisor is supposed to keep the game fair.
· In theory you could have as many players as you want, but no more than four is recommended because turns consist of multiple phases that are meant to organize the battle strategy for each player.
· Players are encouraged to kit bash, 3-D print, or purchase traditional plastic army men. For the sake of scaling, follow the scaling of the image below. But you must have your own general. It is recommended that your general be unique, make it yours. Have fun.
· Players can make their own campaigns and lore. Such attempts are encouraged. For the purposes of release, you can follow the campaign I have written.
· For any session, you will need a handwritten or typed general’s reference stats Dossier, 1D20, tape measure, and an army of which you will fight with. (painted)
· When rolling on a check, higher is always better. 20 is always a success
· Your armies stats are fixed and defined in this document. Your general’s stats are dictated by the roll of a 1d20. These stats are:
o morale
o Movement speed
o Accuracy
o Health points
o Punch
· Turns are split into phases.
o bombardment
o Movement
o Attack/counter attack
· The different types of units are:
o Infantry
o Armor
o Airborne
o B.A.M.(BIG ASS MACHINES)

· We play at a 1/36 scale. All models are at that scale.

• TERRAIN AND COVER

make your own terrain and cover. kitbashing, 3-D printing encouraged. terrain is the battleground, the floor the pieces and obstacles stand on. obsticles can be anything. debris, nature, etc. obstacles are cover. if an attacking piece can see the defending piece in its entirety, the defending piece is in the open. if the defending piece is partially seen by the attacking
· Ability checks logic below:
20=crit hit/sucsess
1=jam(gun)/woopsie(melee)/crit fail
To succeed , a unit must roll their combined ability score. This is their base ability +general ability. Debuffs such as kickback only are applied to whatever you rolled when you roll for an ability check.
Regardless, the fundamental rules of this game will apply to your creations. these are an assortment of rules designed to keep the game fair and guard against unfair players(referred to as God-Emperors or God-empresses) and hopefully combat power creep.
Now lets expand upon these ideas so you can have fun kit-bashing and army smashing quicker.
GENERAL’S (named character) STAT DOSSIER
Your army’s stats are based on your general’s stat Dossier. The leader of a nation is oft a good indication of how high of a quality their army’s going to be.
The first thing you should write is your general’s name, then write their bio. Their bio includes their background, their homeland, what politics are involved (if any). It is not recommended that you write a novel, you have a game to play. What are the weapons that your general will have on their person? What are their character traits? How will those traits affect how the game is played?
The next thing to do is to make a picture of your General that resembles the piece you kit-bashed for your general to be. It can be menacing, wholesome, serious or whacky. As long as the design choices resemble what your army has for their design and your general’s character traits. It doesn’t have to be hand drawn. A photo of your piece will suffice. no general may have a skill number higher than 16.
ARMY STAT DOSSIER:
what good is a king without a kingdom?
terrible.
each type of unit gets one ARMY STAT DOSSIER. you can have as many scout infantry you want, but you need a dossier on how they are deployed, what weapons they use, and most importantly, THEIR STATS. make sure your unit type description is comprehensive including what styles of combat they are trained for. this could influence your decisions on how you play. give them lore for shits and giggles. no unit may have a skill number higher than 15.
WEAPON STAT DOSSIER
this is the list of weapon types and their ability modifiers.
when attacking bare handed, you go by your unmodified stats.
STATS EXPLAINED AND BORING SHIT
Now comes the part with the dice. You only need 1d20. This is to reduce the confusion.
· Morale
Rolled by 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit.
Morale is basically moral law. How far will your troops go to follow your orders? If your morale over a given unit is 1, the unit in question is shell shocked for one whole turn, to be marked with a yellow slip. If your unit is shell shocked, it is traumatized to where it cant follow any orders on the next turn. If for some reason the morale hits 0, that unit defects and must be marked with a red token. Units that defect are now under control of your enemy. If defected units hit 0 authority again, it simply dies. Suicide. Cowards way out.
The Morale that your general has over friendly units is base unit morale +the general’s modifier. Your general’s base Morale is the number you rolled the 1d20 for. If for any reason your general’s morale score goes below 0, the general must rally all nearby troops (within 30cm) to protect the general for one turn on the next turn. If your general’s morale hits zero, you get shell shocked, and your general cannot take action for one turn and if your general was within line of sight of any other allied unit, the observing unit cannot take action either.
· Movement Speed
Rolled by 1d20, measured by cm on a measuring tape or meter stick because inches suck.
Movement speed is how much ground a given unit can cover. Unless your object has a punch score higher than the hp of an obstacle, or can fly, you will have to go around the obstacle. There are exceptions. If the obstacle is below the knee of an infantry unit, the infantry or whatever can climb over at the cost of the individual unit climbing modifier.
The base movement speed of your general influences the movement speed of your troops. To find a troops total movement speed:
Your unit’s base movement speed + your general’s base movement speed = total troop movement speed. See army stat dossier or named character stat dossier.

· Accuracy
Rolled by a 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit
Accuracy must be rolled every time a unit attacks an enemy unit.
Accuracy is basically the chance of your selected troop hitting their targets. Different weapons and vehicles have different accuracy modifiers(aka kickback or x-range), and different types of troops have different base accuracies. Accuracy can affect enemy/friendly Health points or morale. If a shot hits near enough to a troop, or makes a kill close enough to another troop, the troops affected must undergo a morale check with the exception to nearby friendlies of any troop who gets an enemy kill.
Explosives and artillery have an area of effect. any troop within the inner blast radius (with the exception of troops behind sufficient cover) is dead. Any in sufficient cover, or within the outer blast radius must make a morale check. Sufficient cover is a piece of the environment which has an assigned hp that is higher than the punch of an explosion.

Small arms fire requires line of sight for targeting. The path of bullets is a straight line, keep this in mind when deciding collateral damage. Friendly fire is a thing and it is a war-crime. If you want to play nightmare mode, your general gets summoned to a military court tribunal and executed if three friendly troops or more die as a result of friendly fire that occurred by your command.

Melee combat can only be conducted during movement phases. If its melee vs gun there is the variable of line of sight. If the melee unit is within line of sight, the gun unit has advantage. If the melee unit is outside of line of sight of the gun unit, the melee unit has advantage.
To find your troop’s accuracy:
general’s base accuracy+ troop base accuracy- kickback. The higher the accuracy the better.

· Punch
Punch is how much damage a unit causes to another unit or object should they pass their accuracy check. Different weapons pack a different punch. Remember to add their bonus to the punch check roll.
When attacking an obstacle or object, units must roll against the hp of the object. If the roll lands on a number that meets or beats the hp, the object or obstacle is destroyed.(marked with red sticky note and can be traversed as if the object was destroyed. Bullets pass thru within reasonable trajectories, no ricochet)
When attacking units, whatever is rolled is subtracted from the victim’s hp. The victim can only move at half of their normal movement speed afterward.(treaded, wheeled, and airborne vehicles excluded from the debuff even if they are hit. They are treated as obstacles with the addition of the passed accuracy check requirement.)
· Health points(hp)
Health points are what determines how close your units or general is to kicking the bucket. In any game mode, If your general kicks the bucket, you lose. If you have no units other than your general, you lose and your general must go into hiding. each unit and general may have no more than 10hp. powercreep is bad
UNIT CLASSES
Unit Classes are determined by how big the individual unit is, and how it traverses the battlefield. The smallest and most common all the way to the biggest and most intimidating of units are all fit into several categories by what they look like. To solve disagreements on what class your unit is, the advisor has final say. Disagreements should be easy to avoid if you design your units properly. It would be useful to stick to a theme. Candy punk, steampunk, horror, medieval, sci-fi, and historical designs are all fine, you could even come up with your own. A theme will be better for discerning friendlies from you enemies. At the same time, make your units discernable enough that players and especially advisors can easily determine what classes your units are.
· Your general/warlord, whatchacallit
Your general is the most valuable unit because it is what you have to control your forces. Without a wise and strategic leader, your forces will fall into disarray and you will lose the war. You can only have one general, and you made it yours. Kitbashing and 3D printing would likely be your most common means of gaining a general. They must take resemblance of the general on your general stat dossier they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Infantry
The easiest to acquire and kit bash. This allows for vast hordes of infantry, or small fireteams, or something in between. Find your play style. Your infantry should be as tall as the plastic green army men in the image below. These men and women are the bravest of them all.
they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Armor
Mainly made up of vehicles and smaller mechanical suits, must be land based. Expect tanks, jeeps ,Humvees, calvary mounted animals etc. here is an image I ripped for scale as to the largest example of armor you can have. Not my drawing. Its basically the largest tank ever built replace the man in the image with one infantry and you have your scale. Or 0.283333333 m* 0.283333333 m *0.5m
these machines will break down in water terrain.
· Airborne
Airborne units can only fly. They can drop bombs, airdrop armotroops, and attack up to one target per gun that the aircraft is equipped with(within range) as they move. Their biggest weakness is anti-aircraft weaponry and enemy aircraft weapons. How big can an aircraft be?
2.44 meters. X 2.44 meters by 0.60 meters is your maximum for all airborne units.
any airborne that fly like a plane have a +4 to their movement stat but can only bomb ground units 15 cm in front and attack any unit that is in front of it
anything that flies like a helicopter does not have this buff or debuff, they can shoot at any target, but can only use missiles for up to 15 cm on ground units.
NAVAL VEHICLES
Naval vehicles can be big or small, but they can only operate in the designated water terrain area. they can carry troops, they can fire artillery, depth charges, missiles, torpedoes, and submarines can hide below water for three turns before air runs out. but they can be spotted by sonar. if a submerged vessel is within 10 cm of an enemy surface or submarine vessel, the enemy vessel can act as if they know where the submerged vessel is even if the submerged vessel is still submerged.
· B.A.M. ‘s
Big Ass Machines are basically giant robots and massive land ships. These can be Game breaking depending on how you build them and how big you build them. They can fire upon one target per weapon. how big Can these be? They cannot be more than 1.5 meters tall or take up a ground area larger than 4 meters. Players are not allowed to use functioning motor vehicles including, but not limited to cars, trucks, busses, etc. rule of thumb, if you can ride it, you can’t play it. It might as well be just fan art. The maximum distance these can move at any time is 2000cm. to move these, they must make a special movement check. War machines of that size can get stuck easily, so subtract your general’s movement speed from your final roll on each check. If they are larger than the specified limits, you’ve built a giant immobilized obstacle for one turn.
Mobile terrain essentially is a whole battlefield or obstacle of its own. The biggest difference is that anything other than B.A.M. compatible units that are attached to the B.A.M'S can’t be removed from the B.A.M.'S. Artillery such as main guns can’t move, only rotate. same with S.A.M.S. , C.R.A.M.S., and anti aircraft weaponry.

EQUIPMENT AND ARMAMENT
Guns and RE’S(ranged explosives)Require a reload period(one full turn) every so often. Dual wield is an ability that is only applicable to infantry equipment . dual wield only applies when two identical weapons are in both hands of a single unit. Range is how far a weapon can fire before a debuff is added to your accuracy roll. For every 10 cm beyond the stated range, an x-range debuff of -1 is added.
Overheat can only occur on weapons that are labeled with overheat. Every time a gun with overheat is about to fire , a coin must be tossed. If the coin lands on heads, the gun overheats. Overheating will cause the unit to explode. The explosion will deal 1d20 damage to anyone/anything within a 6 cm radius. You only need to roll once.
Cone is a special debuff. Weapons with cone Can only fire at sequential targets within 25 degrees of original target.
im having trouble with deciding the individual weapon stats. so ive decided that i am going to leave those up to you. (the moment i hear people are getting into fights IRL, i will be putting in an elaboration which will settle all disputes regarding equipment and artillery... and i wont be happy about it.)
players are encouraged to record their battles in battle reports and post it online in their relevant subreddits. if they win/lose, then the player is encouraged to come up with a lore reason for any change in tactics, named characters(generals), or stats.
an army is considered overpowered if they can take out all opponents in as little as 10 turns. they must be nerfed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
unlike overpowered, underpowered armies can be taken out in 10 turns. they must be buffed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
this is sci-fantasy/high fantasy, battles are supposed to be epic and economically exaggerated.
write the name of the weapon, the type of weapon.(melee or gun) and its accuracy and punch modifiers.(bare hands is melee and equal to. magic is gun)
spells must be vetted in good faith by advisors prior to the game to prevent game breakage. spells may not kill units or generals in one blow. spells effects can only last one turn unless its a healing spell. healing spells cannot heal more than 5 health points at a time per unit. write out the spells you have for your units and have them vetted by an advisor, advisor will determine gamebreakability of the spell. if spell is determined to be game breaking, mid game, the advisor will have the offending spell removed and the turn undone. at wich point the offending player effectively must alter their strategy in the spirit of good sportsmanship.) There are three approved arcane focuses, wands, staves, and hand casting, (one must not make them look like the caster is going to punch something, have them hold an orb or something.)
(the moment i hear that people get into IRL fights over spells, i will make a list of approved spells and a LONG LIST of forbidden spells. and no one will be happy. )
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE
Dont be a dick, be a good sport, and have fun.breaking thegame intentionally is a dick move. advisors are encouraged to post their reports of game breaking spells so it may help me in the event Khorde__the__Husk has to revise the rules.

Many of us watched the latest Careers tutorial and walked away a bit less than enthused given the lack of gameplay that was shown. I like the ambition of having absolutely no rabbitholes in the world and having each career be an open and active career but in order to do that, you need to have all the careers have some core gameplay to it that will make it interesting, otherwise, you just have rabbitholes we can see into and are taking up game performance.
Here are 5 ideas of what core features I think they should consider for careers. I say core features because I know they expect that the community will and should create mods that add more features to careers but I believe for all aspects of the game, there is core gameplay that the developers need to put in so we do not feel like we NEED mods to make an interesting and fun gaming experience.
Core Features for LBY Careers:

1. Inactive/non-controlled characters should be routinely pushed to your active character's job lot during your shift. We all saw how empty the tutorial worlds are and that really affects the ability to make even the most exciting job interesting if you are the only one around. The devs need to ensure that there are people around for you to interact with and should mark lots that have your active/controlled person there with a high attractiveness so inactives are more drawn to that lot. This does not mean that everyone in town should show up but it should be relative to the type of lot. For example, if you work at a library, it would be natural for there not to be a lot of people but definitely bookworms, loners, people that like peace and quiet should be pushed to that lot. Whereas if you work at a bar or a restaurant, it should attract a wide range of people and I would expect those places to busy at specific times.
2. Ability to set business traffic hours. Related to the above, for career lots, we should be able to set the hours when we want a high attractiveness for that lot. So for example, if you work at a cafe lot, you would probably set your high traffic hours around the morning (7am-10am) vs a restaurant or bar which would more likely be in the evening (7pm-10pm). This will allow for a good flow between you having to focus just on work tasks, helping customers and having downtime to goof off, socialize, take breaks, etc. making your days more interesting and allowing you to be more strategic with your time management.
3. Coworkers. This is a must. Once you assign your active chara to a career lot, the game should automatically assign 2-3 coworkers to the lot as well if there aren't already. Just like in real life, your interactions with your coworkers is what makes your job interesting or not. There should also be work-specific dialogue/conversations built in (which can be expanded with mods). As long as the relationship mechanics are there in the game and the AI is working as it should, just the existence of coworkers should make playing your career more dynamic.
4. Meaningful Tasks and Interactions that impact career progression. In the tutorial, we saw the tasks were just box-checking exercises (literally) that seemingly had no impact to your chara or their job. Tasks need to have an impact. If I don't do a task, there needs to be a reason why it affects my job performance. For example, for the grocery store job, shelves should get emptied as customers make purchases and only then should I need to restock them. If I don't restock them then customers will have nothing to purchase and my job performance should suffer from that. If there's a spill on the ground and I don't clean it up, someone could then slip and fall on it and sue the company and I could get fined for that or lose my job. We know you can shoplift in the store so there should bonuses for employees catching shoplifters which in itself is like a minigame. Also if you catch your coworker stealing from the register, you can report them to management which might get them demoted or fired but might get you promoted or give you a bonus. Tasks need to be there for a reason.
5. Think "jobs" vs. "careers" and treat them differently. Working at a grocery store or retail store is a job so it's very task-oriented but working as a lawyer or a marketing exec is a career so should be less about tasks and more about accomplishing long-term goals to advance your career. Rather than having one-off tasks for these types of jobs, tasks should be more long-term and complex, for example, building relationships or advancing yourself in certain skills. Also think about projects that can be given to our charas as tasks that operate as quests so it requires multiple steps and days to complete. And because it's quest based, it's customizable and easily moddable since there is a Quest Editor in the game.

These are my 5 but interested to hear what others think should be considered core career gameplay that needs to be in the game.

I 16F am dating a guy 16M ,lets call him Sam, for the past 9 months. We know each other since 9th grade (4 yrs) and are really good friends since. My now bf's mom was really nice and supportive of me at the early stages of our friendship. She didn't seem to have an issue with her son being a really good friend of mine. But now that we have started dating and she accidently found out she is going nuts. when she first got to know about this she and her husband beat up sam really bad to an extent where he was swollen for days. Later my bf told me that while beating him she said that I worked as a prostitute/sex worker and slept with many different guys every other day. At first i thought that she had a misconception but progressively her statements towards me got worse. she said i sleep with my father and have had many external affairs. None of this is true I have only dated one guy before my current bf and it was nothing physical. She claims to have seen my having sex with multiple partners and say that my mother pays me to do all this.. my mother is sweet lady who is very protective of me. By this time i understood that she was making up all of this just to get Sam to stay away from me. She started to tell the same lies to all my school teacher and my teacher started to look down on me. Sam claims that he knows his mother is wrong and will fix it in the future. She sked Sam to block me on all platforms and cut all contacts with me. i really some Sam and he loves me as well. My mother doesn't like Sam because she finds his mother to be an attention seeking lair...which i agree is true. Sam is being poorly treated by his own parents in his house. His mother doesn't listen to him at all and is verbally, emotionally and physically abusive and his father follows his mothers footsteps. His mother considers herself to be the best woman alive. She constantly posts about how amazing and honest she is when she is the complete opposite irl. I've started to hate her as she keeps on making weird remarks about me and my family. She is friend with my english teacher and my gbf's mother. My gbf and Sam dated for a while a few years prior. And she kinda likes to interfere in my bf's life.. So sam doesn't really talk to her. So Sam's mom told my english teach and her friends that im a whore and me along with my entire family watch porn together. I am now furious and disgusted by her lies. Sam says he cant really do anything about it. and hes right, she will beat him up again. Due to this my teachers have been looking down on me and give me judge-y looks. His mother has built this entire thing out of lies and idk why everyone believes her. She doesnt want to listen to anyone and is not understanding at all. she makes an ugly disgusted face whenever she sees me. According to her im ugly but tbh she is severly overweight as well.I am good at academics and am always one of the top students, can cook and have been to multiple competitions etc on the behalf of the school. The teacher used to love me but now because of her lies they have started to be biased and hate me for everthing that I do. The english teacher believes his mum and has been spreading the same false information to other teachers as well. I really love Sam and do not want to give up on him but she doesnt let sam talk to me or even be around me. I hate it. She says that she is perfect but all she does is lie. my mother does not know about this and i really want to teach that merciless woman a lesson. idk what to do..any suggestions?

Bf (25m) and I (23f) spend maybe a day and a half together per week. Sometimes it’s only half a day due to my home situation. We’ve been dating for 6 months and really want to spend more time together but I’m being told by my family that we’re already spending too much time together and should only be seeing each other maybe twice a month. So who’s right? Are we spending too much time together? Why doesn’t it feel like enough then? This is really putting a strain on our relationship and I’m trying to find a solution asap.