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My research group removed me from the groupchat

2024.05.14 17:17 bnnygal044 My research group removed me from the groupchat

I posted a rant (not really a rant) before but heres a another one
Tinanggal na ako sa research group ng mga kagroupmates ko and Im having a panic attack, mixed emotions and all kasi bagsak ako neto and hindi na ko makakagraduate for sure since kailangan ko isummer yung research plus wala akong kagroupmates kung isosolo ko lang im sure hindi ko to matatapos in 2 weeks since malapit na nga ang katapusan ng school year.. i know i have my fault din kasi i never asked kung ano pwede maitulong, I helped sa research namin sa 1st sem and 2nd sem (hindi sa last part ng research).. my last help sa research namin is mag bigay ng survey questions and about sa data gathering hindi na ako nakahelp kasi sinarili na nila un and they didnt talk much sa groupchat kaya akala ko okay na lahat... Until when I opened my messenger and na removed na pala ako sa gc.. Hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko and naiiyak ako kasi all i want is to move forward at maging college na.. and natatakot din ako i dissapoint mama ko kasi nga i failed last year din and dapat ngayon year is dapat makabawi ako kaso parang hindi na (for back information i already failed last year din grade 12 and nasummer ko yung iba kaso sa school namin tatlo lang need i summer so balik grade 12 ako at yung mga di ko na summer un ung pinapasukan ko ngayong year balee back subject na yung mga pinapasukan ko) Idk what to doooo hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko naiiyak ako habang sinusulat ko to
submitted by bnnygal044 to pinoy [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:15 DefinitionOrganic356 Struggle ng isang NBSB, hindi alam ng parents ko may BF na ako.

Hello People of Reddit!
I would like to ask an advice on how can I tell to my mom na I have Boyfriend na? I’ve never been dated by anyone since birth and I’m legal age na din naman, 24 na ako coming 25 pero hirap na hirap ako sabihin kila Mama na may jowa na ako. 🥲 Never in my whole life kasi napagusapan namin about Love Relationship so na-aawkward talaga ako to open up and I don’t know where to start. Kaya everytime magkikita kami ng Boyfriend kung ano anong palusot sinasabi ko although my parents are not strict and I think they are okay with having a partner, it’s just that I don’t know how to confess it to them.
Never naman nila ako pinagbawalan sa kung ano man kasi hindi naman ako naging pasaway growing up. They know that I’m a responsible daughter.
I need your advice and sentiments, maybe you can share something. Thank you!
submitted by DefinitionOrganic356 to adviceph [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:14 bnnygal044 My research group removed me from the groupchat

I posted a rant (not really a rant) before but heres a another one
Tinanggal na ako sa research group ng mga kagroupmates ko and Im having a panic attack, mixed emotions and all kasi bagsak ako neto and hindi na ko makakagraduate for sure since kailangan ko isummer yung research plus wala akong kagroupmates kung isosolo ko lang im sure hindi ko to matatapos in 2 weeks since malapit na nga ang katapusan ng school year.. i know i have my fault din kasi i never asked kung ano pwede maitulong, I helped sa research namin sa 1st sem and 2nd sem (hindi sa last part ng research).. my last help sa research namin is mag bigay ng survey questions and about sa data gathering hindi na ako nakahelp kasi sinarili na nila un and they didnt talk much sa groupchat kaya akala ko okay na lahat… until when I opened my messenger and na removed na pala ako sa gc.. Hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko and naiiyak ako kasi all i want is to move forward at maging college na.. and natatakot din ako i dissapoint mama ko kasi nga i failed last year din and dapat ngayon year is dapat makabawi ako kaso parang hindi na (for back information i already failed last year din grade 12 and nasummer ko yung iba kaso sa school namin tatlo lang need i summer so balik grade 12 ako at yung mga di ko na summer un ung pinapasukan ko ngayong year balee back subject na yung mga pinapasukan ko) Idk what to doooo hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko naiiyak ako habang sinusulat ko to
submitted by bnnygal044 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:10 Jaded_Ad1510 Nakakatakot isipin pero nakakaproud

Nakatanggap ng tawagan bf ko for interview siya sa isang company sa UAE. I know matagal niya na din talaga gusto yung growth sa career niya. Sobrang proud ako almost a decade na din siya nagttrabaho sa pinas and deserve niya talaga. Pagkachat and call niya sakin I know he's nervous and excited. I helped him pagdating sa mga forms and I cheer him up in best possible way para mas magkaconfidence siya. Sabi ko samahan niya din ng dasal since first international interview gawin mo ung best mo then God will do the rest. Pag para sayo para sayo.
At the same time, sumagi sa isip ko yung fact na maghihiwalay kami. Ngayon pa nga lang na LDR kami medj mahirap na since quality time and physical touch love language namin I know this is gonna be hard for the both of us. Gaya ng sabi ko, do ur best or ur part then God will do the rest. Kapag para sayo, para sayo.
Tiwala ako sayo love na kayang kaya mo at makukuha mo. Mahal kita kaya susuportahan kita sa kahit anong desisyon mo sa buhay. 🫶🏻
submitted by Jaded_Ad1510 to adultingph [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:10 LawPrimary879 Understanding the biggest generative AI's

Hi everyone,
I just finished my bachelors in Econ with a strong focus on statistics. Since AI seems to be gettting more and more use cases, I am entertaining the idea of combining Econ with AI (meaning doing an AI masters) and then going into a PhD that is focused on using AI for economic modeling and prediction.
The question is this; in order to combine both in an academic career, a very high degree of understanding of AI seems necessary. In the AI course of Ng on coursera, I have understood the mathematical concept of neural networks, calculating parameters, reducing bias etc. Is a bigger generative AI like GPT, DALLE etc. essentially just this but with more data and more neurons or is it so much more complicated that understanding them to an academic level is impossible without a CS bachelors (and possibly masters)?
Thanks a lot for your answers <3
submitted by LawPrimary879 to learnmachinelearning [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:10 Own_Replacement8267 Due Diligence on $sava

Ay yo- My mother has Alzheimer's so I've been immersed on AD and all things related to it. We invested in $sava back in 2019 when it was a few dollars. Since then, we've sold some but still have a large position (greater than $5m) of stock.
If you're unaware of bio tech, it is a dirty and ugly world where big pharma (Eli Lilly, Biogen, etc.) will do any and everything to undermine the future viability of emerging companies. Many medicine based journals/websites get over 95% of their revenue from Big Pharma; on top of this, many journalists work with hedge funds who short these stocks and get paid as contractors/consultants for their 'opinions'. Due to this, it's relatively easy for these stocks to get shorted, ripped to shreds and lose money before they have the ability to introduce their data to the world. This has happened with $sava.
The results so far are extremely promising! The current drugs on the market have huge side effects. This drug, Simifulam, shows the most promise for a terrible disease.
$sava will introduce their updated data from the current test in December, likely. The stock is currently at $21 with a high of $125. The current market cap is $1b. If their drug is approved by the FDA, it should be worth >$10b ($250 p/sh).
Short hedge funds, shady bio tech 'experts' who have a Patreon and get paid by Big Pharma to post hit pieces, and journalists who use their voice have crushed the stock. Eventually, data will shut these shorts up.
I hope that the FDA will approve this promising drug, and that the shorts will be crushed for not only trying to short a stock that could save MILLIONS of lives and families, but because they have slowed down the progress of a terrible drug. This must be stopped. Shame on the shorts. SHAME!

submitted by Own_Replacement8267 to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:58 Humming_bird74 Tech related internships and certifications for econ grads?

I don't know if I count as a "career shifter" since I technically haven't started a career yet. I'm a graduating econ student na malapit na mag ojt. Interested sana ako sa Data field and I've already done my research sa roadmap for the roles I'm interested in. I'm planning to study coding for the next 7mos before my ojt sem para may malagay naman akong skills na match sa future roles na gusto ko. I also have some project ideas that I'm passionate about. Curious lang sana ako kung anong specific internships and certifications should I be eyeing na maganda ilagay sa cv? As an econ student may strong background na ako sa algebra, statistics, basic SQL, and Excel.
Last question: how to not be discouraged in my tech journey dahil sa AI? yung feeling na in 2-3 yrs time obsolete na ang skills na inaaral mo kasi may AI na for everything :(
submitted by Humming_bird74 to TechCareerShifter [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:57 scarlique Kagulo ng panahon sa Cavite ah

Sa Indang at Trece napaka lakas ng ulan kanina bandang 2pm ata yon. Tapos sa Tanza at Dasma napaka init. Sa ibang bahagi ba ng Cavite anong kalagayan? Naulan ba or mainit?
Skl, grabe yung buhos ng ulan kanina. Pag dating sa Trece sandamakmak na students ang naligo na sa ulan. Raining in Trece ang atake! Pati ako basang sisiw mula Indang hanggang Trece. Pag dating sa Tanza para akong nilagay sa dryer kasi ang init.
So yon ang dugyot ko pag uwi hahahaha!
submitted by scarlique to cavite [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:45 DarkMocha00 Anong alternative pag di na kayo pinaglalaban ng kape sa antok?

I drink plain black coffee after breakfast around 6:30 am, tapos pagdating sa trabaho kape ulit around 10 am, usually iced americano, iced spanish latte or brewed coffee ulit, kaya lang minsan pagdating ng 2-3 pm tinatamaan na ako ng matinding antok di ko na napipigilan umiidlip nalang ako, wala ng pake kung sino makakakita sakin.
submitted by DarkMocha00 to CoffeePH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:36 Icy-Confusion-6903 Pagod na Mag alaga ng Lola, Sobrang burn-out nako. Anong gagawin ko?

Hello reddit, gusto ko lang mag tanong anong pwedeng gawin sa sitwasyon namin. Context: May lola akong inaalagaan na dahil sa sakit. Nag simula siya last June 16, 2023. Habang inaakay siya ng tatay bigla siyang na out-of balance. Na tapilok siya tulad nung sa mga Bball player, yun parang hindi mo naapak yun paa mo kaya tumagilid, since mabigat din siya hindi kinaya ng paa niya yun bigat kaya na dislocate yun paa. Tapos pina check-up, na lagyan ng cast, at umuwi ng bahay. Inexpect ko na medyo magiging mahirap mga susunod na buwan kaya binigyan ko ng assurance erpats ko na tutulong ako at handa ako ibigay ang sarili ko para tulungan siya. Balik uli sa pag-pilay... si lola ay medyo metapobre at gusto sa cr pa umiihi tsaka dumi. Nag papatulong siyang tumayo pero sabi namin bawal at sa diaper ka nalang umihi at dumumi. Pero pag hindi siya nasunod nag wawala siya at sobrang lutong ng mura at nanakit. Ang ending binubuhat namin siya ata naapak niya ng madiin yun pilay niyang paa kaya lalong lumala yun pilay niya. Fast forward ngayong buwan May 14 pa-11 months na. Sobrang burnout na kami ng pamilya ko mag alaga, sa pag palit ng diaper, etc. Sobrang burnout narin ako kasi ako madalas ang katulong, minsan lang tumulong mga kapatid ko dahil sa mga trabaho nila. Btw, studyante ako 3rd yr college Engineerning course. Bedridden (dikoalamspelling) na si lola at pero napakasungit at maldita parin. Na sisigawan ko na siya kasi naubos na lahat ng pasensya ko dahil patong patong din mga nang yayari. Ayoko na siya minsan makita o marinig na mag sasalita. Wala din naman siyang nagawang mabuti saamin noong bata kami. Napaka maldita at sungit kala mo donya. Pero ang nanay ang ginagaya kong ugali na kahit ayaw sakanya ni lola inaalagan niya parin ng lubos. Pero may sarili din kaming buhay. Sobrang pagod na kami at doon nalang umiikot ang mundo ko. Pag aaral at pag aalaga.
submitted by Icy-Confusion-6903 to adultingph [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:35 tofu_19 What should I need to do?

May 1 nakalmot ako ng pusa nagpa inject ako 2 booster tapos 1 tetanus, (pang 13 na araw na tong observation dun sa pusa bukas na yung last) nung chineck ko kanina yung pusa medyo aggressive siya tapos distant. Pumunta ako abc para itanong kung tuturukan pa ba ako, sabi wala na daw silang magagawa kasi tapos na injection ko. Kung gusto raw malaman if my rabies or wala dalhin daw sa vet, kaso anong gagawin if napatunayan na may rabies? Need pa ba magpa inject ule? Sana masagot agad.
submitted by tofu_19 to pinoy [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:30 AlarmLow8004 Space Marines vs Tyranids List

Space Marines vs Tyranids List
Hi. I recently asked about SM vs GSC at 1000 points and was given a lot of suggestions, but also told gsc will most likely be at a great disadvantage at that points value. And while I now know 1000 points is not as balanced as 2000. I wanted to ask if this list will work for a friendly 1000 point match or if one side will have too heavy of an advantage
v (995 points)
Space Marines Incursion (1000 points) 1st Company Task Force
CHARACTERS
Apothecary Biologis (55 points) • 1x Absolvor bolt pistol 1x Close combat weapon
Captain in Terminator Armour (105 points) • 1x Relic weapon 1x Storm bolter • Enhancement: Rites of War
Librarian in Terminator Armour (90 points) • 1x Force weapon 1x Smite • Enhancement: Iron Resolve
Lieutenant in Phobos Armour (80 points) • 1x Bolt Pistol 1x Master-crafted bolt carbine 1x Paired combat blades • Enhancement: The Imperium’s Sword
BATTLELINE
Heavy Intercessor Squad (100 points) • 1x Heavy Intercessor Sergeant • 1x Bolt pistol 1x Close combat weapon 1x Heavy bolt rifle • 4x Heavy Intercessor • 4x Bolt pistol 4x Close combat weapon 4x Heavy bolt rifle
OTHER DATASHEETS
Ballistus Dreadnought (140 points) • 1x Armoured feet 1x Ballistus lascannon 1x Ballistus missile launcher 1x Twin storm bolter
Infernus Squad (80 points) • 1x Infernus Sergeant • 1x Bolt pistol 1x Close combat weapon 1x Pyreblaster • 4x Infernus Marine • 4x Bolt pistol 4x Close combat weapon 4x Pyreblaster
Infernus Squad (80 points) • 1x Infernus Sergeant • 1x Bolt pistol 1x Close combat weapon 1x Pyreblaster • 4x Infernus Marine • 4x Bolt pistol 4x Close combat weapon 4x Pyreblaster
Sternguard Veteran Squad (90 points) • 1x Sternguard Veteran Sergeant • 1x Close combat weapon 1x Sternguard bolt pistol 1x Sternguard bolt rifle • 4x Sternguard Veteran • 4x Close combat weapon 4x Sternguard bolt pistol 4x Sternguard bolt rifle
Terminator Squad (175 points) • 1x Terminator Sergeant • 1x Power fist 1x Storm bolter • 4x Terminator • 4x Power fist 4x Storm bolter
Exported with App Version: v1.14.0 (42), Data Version: v379
Tyranids Incursion (1000 points) Assimilation Swarm
CHARACTERS
Neurotyrant (105 points) • 1x Neurotyrant claws and lashes 1x Psychic scream
Winged Tyranid Prime (65 points) • 1x Prime talons
BATTLELINE
Termagants (60 points) • 10x Termagant • 10x Chitinous claws and teeth 10x Fleshborer
Termagants (60 points) • 10x Termagant • 10x Chitinous claws and teeth 10x Fleshborer
OTHER DATASHEETS
Barbgaunts (55 points) • 5x Barbgaunt • 5x Barblauncher 5x Chitinous claws and teeth
Genestealers (75 points) • 5x Genestealer • 5x Genestealers claws and talons
Genestealers (75 points) • 5x Genestealer • 5x Genestealers claws and talons
Genestealers (75 points) • 5x Genestealer • 5x Genestealers claws and talons
Neurogaunts (45 points) • 1x Neurogaunt Nodebeast • 1x Chitinous claws and teeth • 10x Neurogaunt • 10x Chitinous claws and teeth
Psychophage (95 points) • 1x Psychoclastic torrent 1x Talons and betentacled maw
Ripper Swarms (20 points) • 1x Chitinous claws and teeth
Ripper Swarms (20 points) • 1x Chitinous claws and teeth
Screamer-Killer (145 points) • 1x Bio-plasmic scream 1x Screamer-Killer talons
Von Ryan’s Leapers (75 points) • 3x Von Ryan’s Leaper • 3x Leaper’s talons
Exported with App Version: v1.14.0 (42), Data Version: v379
submitted by AlarmLow8004 to WarhammerCompetitive [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:24 GoodGuava737 San Bartolome Parish, Malabon / Tañong National High School to Potrero, Malabon

Hello. Ask ko lang po if anong jeep ang sasakyan if papunta ng Potrero, Malabon at galing ako sa San Bartolome Parish, Malabon / KFC Malabon Bayan / Tañong National High School? Thank you 🤗
submitted by GoodGuava737 to HowToGetTherePH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:22 ISubtlyWantYouTo Blue ocean strategy in the PH

I’m curious. I first encountered this strategy years ago, 2016-2017 ata. I was ghost writing ebooks at that time and ito yung topic na pinagawa ng US client. I researched/read a lot about it so I can create the short ebook and it made a lot of sense.
Tonight, naalala ko sya bigla and nagsearch thinking “onga anong examples nito sa atin.” Somehow wala akong nakita or baka wala lang search results cause nobody wrote about it online para ma index ng Google.
Anyway, do you know any examples ng businesses dito sa PH na blue ocean? Lol was gonna ask if anyone does this pero baka di magshare para di ma-copy—defeats the very purpose of the strategy. But yes, if you have any idea how this strategy translates sating economy and market, enlighten me pls. Thank you!
submitted by ISubtlyWantYouTo to phinvest [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:20 yangdumbbroke hire me so i can support myself

Hello! I am a fresh grad who’s currently looking for some side hustle para masuportahan sarili ko and maka-ipon habang naghahanap ng work :))
I’m 22 and here’s a list of the things that i can do:
any kind of part-time jobs pwede! as long as hindi weird and walang something bad. please message me so we can talk about it!
strictly SFW offers only!
thank you so so much!
submitted by yangdumbbroke to PHJobs [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:20 theluckyone_13 HSI CURRICULUM/SYLLABUS

Hi! I’d like to ask yung curriculum or yung syllabus ng HSI-Med. Anong mga textbooks ang gamit during 1st year 1st sem? I just want to prepare before going into med school. Thank you very much!
submitted by theluckyone_13 to medschoolph [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:18 yangdumbbroke hire me so i can support myself :))))))))

Hello! I am a fresh grad who’s currently looking for some side hustle para masuportahan sarili ko and maka-ipon habang naghahanap ng work :))
I’m 22 and here’s a list of the things that i can do:
any kind of part-time jobs pwede! as long as hindi weird and walang something bad. please message me so we can talk about it!
strictly SFW offers only!
thank you so so much!
submitted by yangdumbbroke to phclassifieds [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:18 yangdumbbroke hire me so i can support myself :))))))))

Hello! I am a fresh grad who’s currently looking for some side hustle para masuportahan sarili ko and maka-ipon habang naghahanap ng work :))
I’m 22 and here’s a list of the things that i can do:
any kind of part-time jobs pwede! as long as hindi weird and walang something bad. please message me so we can talk about it!
strictly SFW offers only!
thank you so so much!
submitted by yangdumbbroke to onlineservicesPH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:18 Sad-Reach7287 Why is computer RAM so slow?

I've seen multiple cases where RAM is a bottleneck when trying to game. Why don't manufacturers make faster RAM?
DDR5: max 8000MT/s typically 6000-6400 on higher end models, consumer mobos use dual channel (128-bit configuration). Only servers and workstations use 4 to 8 channels.
LPDDR5X: 9600MT/s max with 8533MT/s readily available in all high end phones. Phones also use quad-channel (256-bit) communication.
GDDR6X: uses 22400MT/s ram with up to 256 bits on the 4080s and 21200MT/s with 384 bits on the 4090. Now both DDR and LPDDR use double data rate while GDDR6X uses 16x data rate.
Why is GDDR5 slower than phone-memory and why does it use less channels? Integrated graphics could greatly benefit from extra speed and channels as well as scenarios where VRAM is overflowing which would mean older GPUs with less VRAM could perform better in modern games.
GDDR7 is right around the corner with the RTX 50 series offering 28000MT/s and even higher in the future. Why don't PCs use more channels and more speed? Like why not put in LPDDR RAM in PCs. Why can't I buy sticks of GDDR RAM? What's the reason behind all this if fundamentally both GDDR and DDR use similar, small memory modules (2 and 4 GB respectively)? Why is it that DDR5 sticks are connected by a 2×32-bit bus while GDDR6X modules each have their own 32-bit bus? Also, a lot of laptops use LPDDR5X. What's stopping manufacturers from making that replacable / upgradable?
EDIT: To anyone saying my RAM is not the bottleneck I've tested the same game, BeamNG drive with AI cars. First test: I set the cars so I'm just below the VRAM limit. Second test: I'm just above the VRAM limit and using system memory My average FPS halved and my 1% lows became absolutely horrific. Terrible 1% lows can only happen in case of VRAM overflow or CPU-bottleneck. Now I was at 20% CPU usage in the first test and had a CPU bottleneck in the 2nd test which means my CPU (13500HX) didn't like using my RAM either. Also I've seen countless benchmarks which showed faster RAM is incredibly helpful in CPU-bottlenecked scenarios.
submitted by Sad-Reach7287 to computers [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:15 ConsistentCookie2615 Vent about life (if trip niyu lang basahin lol) [UPD]

I don’t feel like myself anymore.
This second sem as a freshie, compared to the first, mas lighter workload ko ngayon. Currently nagreretake ako ng math course. One of the other major subjects I am taking are My bio lab & lec which, well, kala ko, mapapanis ko. Ever since talaga my elementary days to HS days, biology was something I considered as my forte, lalo na dream ko magpursue ng med one day.
So with the start ng second sem, I was excited, with bio being there (& my plans to shift to this course), and mej nalax aq konti with math, knowing na, Ive been through this before, I could not possibly fail this again.
Fast forward to present day me, I am on the verge of failing bio & math (again:(). At first it was ONLY 1 failed exam for both, then next thing ik, wala pa akong napapasa na exam, kahit isa. AND I am just so frustrated, sad, dissapointed, angry, & tired.
What am I doing wrong? Nag-aaral naman ako super hard, I am pushing myself to heights I never thought I could even reach, I Fucked up my sleep schedule para lang sa studies ko. Yet, despite ALL this, I am ending up as a failure……
What. In. The. Actual. Fuck Universe.
With all these dissapointing results, there are days wherein, di ako makatayo, nakahiga lang or nakatulala aq from my bed. Nawawalan ako ng ganang kumain. Fuck, I am not even aiming for 1s or 2s, amp kahit tres lang, kahit pang removals, im ok, I just want to pass. I want to be able to feel na my hardwork was worth it. The sleepless nights and my deteriorating health, I wanna feel like kahit papaano, nakapagyield ako ng passing marks in the end.
As for my family, honestly, they are not even that strict, kahit 3, masayang masaya sila. But failing & retaking the subject wholly Is not an option again. After failing math & telling them that I need to retake it, grabe dissapointment sa mga mata nila. They told me stuff bout how yeah, obviously ako very dissapointed cause I was the one working my ass off this only to end up retaking the subject, but mas sila daw ang nadidisappoint(?) like iba daw as a parent yung dissapointment, lalo na carrying the fact na ur child failed overall a subject in school. Hindi daw normal yung pag fail ng isang subject sa college. Siguro I understand (or try to) where they are coming from, but idk, parang a bit unfair lang for me yung thought na, mas sila daw ang nadidisappoint?? Mas sila daw ang may burden na ito?? Like as much as I wanted to scream or tell them na “No, you have no right to tell me na mas mabigat toh for you, na the burden Is lighter on my end, NO!”, I cant. At the end of the day, they are my parents. Anyways yun, idk if maaaccept pa ba nila kung niretake ko tong math for the 2nd time, as they said, and I quote, “this Is the first & last time you are going to let this happen. hindi ito normal.”
So ayun, with all that, I am even questioning myself if I am really deserving of UP. If I am good enough to be a doctor one day, if I am even strong enough to endure it.
Everyday nalang, I feel this darkness looming. Subtle siya sa mornings, but very strong niya sa gabi. I tried to fight it before, the monster of my anxieties & doubt, but lately, I just let it. I let it consume me, I let it beat me up to shit. I am starting to get tired of fighting. Nakakapagod ipaglaban ang isang bagay na, sa huli, ididisappoint ka lang.
Idk what to do anymore tbh.
So yun, thank u for giving a bit of ur time reading this. Di ko man kayu nakikita or kilala, but I am very grateful & appreciative of you:)
submitted by ConsistentCookie2615 to peyups [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:03 UnhappyMix7048 I’m scared of my father

My father has some anger issues, mabilis syang magalit at laging hindi ko alam ang dahilan. Mahilig din syang sumigaw kapag galit sya kahit na pwede namang maidaan sa maayos na usapan.
Kanina nag SM lang ako para mag kape at magpalamig kasi brownout sa amin. I stayed there for about 4 hrs (1-5pm). Mga seven na ako nakauwi kasi traffic. I was happy pa naman din pagkauwi ko kasi I wanted to talked to my parents about my day kahit wala naman masyadong ganap and also para ibigay yung dala kong pasalubong. Pag punta ko palang sa sala, nakita ko na itsura ng daddy ko na nakakunot ang ulo. Kinabahan na ako and medyo nanginginig na (trauma na rin siguro kasi lagi na lang syang nagagalit kahit wala ka namang ginagawa na masama).
He started to yell at me, tinatanong bakit gabi na raw ako nakauwi at kung ano raw ginawa ko sa SM. I told him nagkape lang at nagpalipas oras kasi brownout and sobrang init kaya nagpalamig din. 25 years old na ako and nagpaalam naman ako sa kanila kung saan ako punta at sinabi ko rin naman na baka mga seven ako makauwi kasi traffic. Sobrang galit nya at kung ano ano na ang sinasabi. I was so scared and confused kasi hindi ko alam bakit nya ako pinapagalitan ehh kung nagpaalam naman ako. I was quiet the whole time kasi kapag ipinaglaban ko pa yung side ko, baka mas lalo pang magalit. Nakatayo lang ako habang pinapakinggan yung mga masasakit na sinabi niya.
Pagkatapos, he would give me the silent treatment na parang kasalanan ko lahat at kailangang suyuin ko sya. Syempre hindi ko rin sya papansinin kasi alam ko namang wala akong ginagawang masama. My mother would talked to me at sabihin na hayaan ko na lang daw at pansinin na yung daddy ko. Tbh I was hurt kapag sinasabi nya to sa akin. Parang ipinaparating nya na wala akong karapatang magtampo or masaktan kasi tatay ko naman sya at sila lagi ang tama.
My father traumatized me. Don’t get me wrong, hindi naman nya ako sinasaktan physically, pero sana maisip nya rin na nasasaktan nya ako tuwing sinisigawan nya ako at nagbibitaw ng mga masasakit na salita. Up until now hindi ko pa rin kaya kapag sinisigawan ako ng ibang tao, natatakot ako at nanginginig, natutulala na para bang hindi ko na kayang ipaglaban ang sarili ko. Ayun lang gusto ko lang ilabas yung nararamdaman ko.
submitted by UnhappyMix7048 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]


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