My wife 37 and I 41 have been married for the past 11 years. Mostly up but we each decide to not kill each other in our sleep. So overall a good relationship. I have never forced her to get a job and I am very understanding of her health needs. About two years ago, our family entered a lease with two other families to rent a house. This house was well more than I could afford on my own being a single family income. About two months after signing the lease, the first family dropped out. Then 6 months later the second family dropped out. This lead to the financial burden being on me. I went out and got a second job but I know it wouldn't be enough. My wife and I discussed her going to work so she could help. We moved out back into a small apartment where rent was reasonable. I continued to work two jobs to help get us out of the financial hole, while my wife was looking for a job. She decided on insurance sales because the payout was larger than working any local jobs. I supported her in this decision, financially investing in her to the atune of around 3 grand. She got her license, and was set to go. But to my dismay, there was always some issue with each company that she got hired onto. There was never a return on the investment, and the house was starting to seriously decline. I asked her what is wrong, since we had discussed that if she didn't want to work, then she would be responsible for the house, and I could help when I had time. So my days off are spent cleaning, doing laundry, and generally organizing the house. At the beginning of May, she broke down and told me the reason nothing has planned out, is because she does not want to work and the reasons for the decline is she is depressed that I am only home one day a week to help her. She keeps telling me we are in this together, but I feel alone. I told her that I love her, but this is unacceptable. She needs to step up and get the house inorder or get a job. I gave her one month for either option and six months to prove she could keep it up or I would open up the relationship and find someone that was willing to grow and work for a future with me. So far things are working out, she is doing her best to mainten the house, but has no intention of pressuring a job. I feel like an AH for making the demands, but I felt I needed something big to force the motivation. I don't want another, I don't want anything but for her to help, and not feel alone in this hell we got ourselfs into. Any real advice would be great. I am just so tired.

So my grandmother is in poor health and eventually I will inherit her house which once sold will leave me with something in the ballpark of 200k. conventional wisdom says that i should roll that into a house of my own rather than renting so i can build equity because that makes my house cheaper long-term and gives me something to then pass down to my own children.
But in my mind it would make more sense to put that money in an index fund where it would appreciate much faster and then later down the road i can draw from it. would that more than offset any potantial benefit to buying your own home and paying interest on that loan or am i missing something? Owning a home seems like its full of headaches anyways when things go wrong so im trying to find a reason why it would make sense to Purchase in my situation yet everyone is telling me that its what i should do. thoughts?
thanks in advance

My wife and I have friends who are both very close to us but live in a different country and they have a child. We need advice. They're very intelligent people, socially conscious, aware of the world, aware of global issues, aware of Covid, not deniers in any way. But consistently -- every time we catch up once a month or so -- she tells us about how she's sick again. She's fully open about how these feel very much like Covid symptoms, she says the doctors investigate to see if it's Covid/Long Covid... she's basically constantly got several of the things that one would have in a large city when one is exposing oneself to public transit and not masking. The kid (5-ish) has had it several times as well and when not specifically Covid it's been similar flu-like symptoms. The husband goes to work every day on public transit, she stays home and drops off and picks up the kid every day at school. They aren't super social butterflies, but it's certain they don't mask if they go out on weekends.
So she's yet again sent us an update on health and it's more of the same. So my question is... she knows we constantly deal with my wife's asthma and that we're well versed in Covid science so she's going to know it comes from people who are educated on this. What links/articles/resources can we show her from reputable places, that aren't academic journal level reading that show some of the very real concerns about what can happen long term with Covid that could help show someone who is concerned but simply not getting the real vital information that is out there?
Some of you will ask... "why would you wanna do that? It's not your place to be their parent..." and the answer to that is solely and sincerely, because we care about them. This world has been very cruel to my wife and I like it has to many of you and largely abandoned us cloaking us in invisibilty so our concerns about Covid don't have to be heard. And that's just our former friends and our genetic family. That's not counting how society strives to keep us in a cave every day so we don't remind people that masks still exist. And amidst all of that these people have been very compassionate and understanding of what we're going through. And we think we'd like to help. That's all.

So my grandmother is in poor health and eventually I will inherit her house which once sold will leave me with something in the ballpark of 200k. conventional wisdom says that i should roll that into a house of my own rather than renting so i can build equity because that makes my house cheaper long-term and gives me something to then pass down to my own children.
But in my mind it would make more sense to put that money in an index fund where it would appreciate much faster and then later down the road i can draw from it. would that more than offset any potantial benefit to buying your own home and paying interest on that loan or am i missing something? Owning a home seems like its full of headaches anyways when things go wrong so im trying to find a reason why it would make sense to Purchase in my situation yet everyone is telling me that its what i should do. thoughts?
thanks in advance

My aunt has always preached to get a job before you quit a job, bit I hate when people say that because it's not that simple for everyone. I was looking for a job while I worked at my last one, but finding something was next to impossible and my mental health was deteriorating. I was suffering from major suicide ideation, so I eventually quit after 6 months.
My aunt agreed to take me in even though I hadn't asked her to. I had already planned to move in with my mom and my aunt forbid me to go because she knows it wouldn't have been the best environment for me. I am grateful that she took me in, but she had two rules that I felt like were unrealistic given the job market. Get a job within three months and pay a small amount of rent each month. I found a job by chance, but they told me after they hired me that they don't have the hours and would let me know if they needed help in the summer. I wasn't surprised considering they were always trying to send me home on the days I was supposed to train halfway through, but it pissed me off that they were even saying that they were hiring in the first place.
I've looked online for jobs and there usually are a few here and there to apply to, but now I cannot find a single job that I qualify for...my aunt often thinks I'm goofing off, but I am looking and still battling anxiety as well. I'm thinking I might need to just accept defeat anyway and sign up for disability. I've been stubborn and refuse to years ago when my health was really bad, and typically avoided doing it because people make me feel like I'm not disabled enough. But a lot of my disabilities are invisible, like my anxiety. .

In spanish, there are some "feminists" channels that are talking about women who don't want to pay half of the bills and call themselves "High value women", they criticize them and say that they are sexists, that "you should not choose your partner because you have fear" and that they should not generalize men (yes lmao). Even some of them said that High Value Women are femcels and put those women at the same level of RedPillers.
I have talked and read RedPillers for years. The heart of the ideology are fake stats and the goal is controlling women and convince men that they should meet certain standard to be happy.
I also followed High Value Women communities (FDS, for example) and I have seen that the heart of it is reality. Most women who live 50/50 still do most of the child care and domestic labor. Women are working more than ever and they are still picking socks more. If you provide as a woman and your husband stays at home, he is more likely to cheat. Orgasm gap exists. Birth control fails and can make you pregnant of a man that doesn't care about you nor your kid. STDs exist and they are raising. Abortion doesn't exist in most countries.
In short ¿What men have to bring to the table?
Not great sex
STDs
Not a clean tidy house
Not children
Not well behaved children
Not fidelity
If hes poor: more bills to pay.
If he has money: money and a stable lifestyle.
I get that they have some points in common with the redpill; if you don't agree with them you are a "beta" or an "Average Frustrated Chump" or a "PickMe". But in general I see them are extremely different or sometimes, opposites.
The argument of "you should not choose your partners because you have fear" makes me ick. If you are an adult, you should be making informed choices and B plans in the case something goes wrong. You should not choose people based on ideals or only because you think that doing it "is fair" or "virtuous". Women have a lot to loose if they choose wrong, they even can get killed by a man who told them that he loved them.
Another thing that people who agrees with them says is that High Value Women are sexists and it is "masked patriarchy". I agree with the idea that in fact, they are promoting patriarchy and feeding it. But hear me out: men are sexist; this world is sexist. If you play equality with men, most of the time you will end up paying the bills to a sexist man who think that his house cleans itself. If you acknowledge that men will not see you as their equal ever (even if they say so) and you, even then, decide to be with them, you will be playing knowing what the outcome will be and take advantage of it.
The thing that makes me mad is that one of the women who made videos criticizing, suffered domestic violence. She paid all the bills and the man (who claimed to be a feminist) abused her. And even then she doesn't get the point. Imagine loosing money, time and mental health in the name of equality, progress and feminism, see that it doesn't work and still believing that "there are good men out there" who will be fair.
Female socialization is a thing; but most of the time women themselves promote being naive and delusional to other women as a good strategy to survive.
In reality, I don't think women should have relationships with men. But if they have them anyway, is better if they are smart about it and assure they are winning something.
What do you think about it? What is the lesser evil here? Playing equality with men and play the russian roulette or making men pay for shit?

Congratulations on bringing home your new furry friend! Setting up a comfortable and safe environment for your chinchilla is crucial for their health and happiness. In this article, we'll guide you through the essential accessories you need for your chinchilla's cage.
1. Food Dish and Water Bottle

• A heavy, tip-resistant food dish to prevent spills
• A water bottle with a sipper tube or spout to prevent leaks

2. Bedding and Litter

• Deep, absorbent bedding (wood pellets, hay, or recycled paper) to absorb waste and provide digging space
• A litter box or tray to contain waste and make cleaning easier

3. Hiding Places and Tunnels

• Cardboard boxes or wooden hiding places to provide security and stress relief
• Tunnels and tubes for exploration and play

4. Climbing Structures and Toys

• Wooden or metal climbing structures to exercise and entertain
• Chew toys and accessories (e.g., wooden chew sticks, untreated wicker toys)

5. Temperature and Humidity Control

• A thermometer to monitor cage temperature (ideal range: 60-75°F/15-24°C)
• A humidity gauge to ensure a comfortable humidity level (50-60%)

6. Dust Bath Accessories

• A shallow dish or tray for dust baths
• Volcanic ash or play sand for dust bathing

7. Cage Cleaning Essentials

• A scoop or shovel for removing waste and soiled bedding
• Disinfectant and cleaning solutions for cage and accessories

8. Chinchilla-Safe Materials

• Avoid using toxic materials, such as pine or cedar shavings, which can harm your chinchilla
• Opt for chinchilla-safe materials, like hay, wood, or recycled paper

By providing these essential accessories, you'll create a happy, healthy, and stimulating environment for your chinchilla to thrive in! Remember to always prioritize your pet's safety and well-being.

Like a lot of people here, I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like anything you try end up being another waste of time or another failure that you don't want to face. It hurts to just do it all over and over and over again. But you keep going anyway and that's craziest part of it all.
I don't have all the time in the world to get it sorted out since my parents and siblings need me to step it up and we don't even own a house. We've rented all my life and I don't know how much longer my parents' savings will hold out. I want so badly to get out of this situation but when my environment is acid and I've probably got this thing called "ADHD" that I realize is the cause for my inability to focus and do things like a normal person, it's a lot tougher trying to get out of that hell pit. I need help. I can't ask any immediate family for help since they've got their own pile of garbage raining down on them, I don't have any skills or money, I stay at home all day, and as it turns out, getting free education or even a job at mcdonald's is a lot harder than I thought, which I should've expected since it's a third world country but damn does it hit you.
I've only recently started to get back to exercising, even for a little bit every day. I've also begun my self-study coding journey and I'm already feeling hopeless with all the news about skilled programmers getting layed off or not being able to find jobs but I won't give up on it because I enjoy it, even if my tiny brain hurts with the simplest of code. My environment is not as bad as it was a year ago so it's a little bit easier for me to do a little more each day and I'm hopeful... sort of? Of what the future will hold if I keep this up. My backup plan is essentially to try go to school again or to apply for more jobs or if I can't do any of that, probably find and marry some rich person or go against my morals and become one of those influencer scammers or something.
I initially wrote this with a not-too-bitter ending here:

I guess I'm writing this post as some sort of milestone for myself. I know what's wrong with me, I got a bit better, and I'm still working on it. I just wish I was faster, or normal, or both. I know there's people out there who have it worse and it hurts me to know that I could use all the resources I've been given to just "fix" my situation. But for now, for a little while longer, I'll be selfish and think for myself.

but what I really want is to ask you -- what would you do in this situation? Like a little challenge as if you're playing sims and this was the character you've randomized and got:
You feel foreign and can't speak the language of the country you're born in, you don't have financial help or a job or skills, you've probably got depression, your brain is wired differently so it's much harder to do things, your relationships with your parents suck so much that it's hard for you to live with them but you have no choice, your siblings are also useless on the money part but they're trying their best with their own undiagnosed mental illnesses, aaand you're in your mid 20s with uhh.. not bad health. Oh, and the world is super hot so it's twice as hard to do things but you've got the internet and a pretty good computer at your disposal.

Anyone else going through this? It all seems very new to me (F56).
I’m going through menopause and that existential crisis of the transition - I’m old, I’m achy, i have anxiety, I haven’t done enough, the universe is so big, what do I want to do with the rest of my life - ahhhh!
But here is the weird part - my parents - M92, F81, good health, all facilities intact, mobile, drive, seem to be going through the same thing! They are anxious, don’t want to get out because COVID and they might fall, they are on the Internet too much, every little thing is the end of the world (like a burnt meal is the end of the world), they are so depressed because they can’t fix their remaining family and can’t fix the world and they are terrified of dying in a crappy nursing home. Literally both are trying to remotely fix their mentally ill relatives long distance! Ahhhh!
And I don’t know what to do to console them. I tell them to get out and walk and socialize but, Covid and falling! If I tell them they worry too much I’m rude.
At the same time I’m trying not to kill my coworkers and family, because menopause!
Just looking for others I can cry on your shoulders with!

My husband is 42 years old, I am 39, and we have been married almost 20 years. During the pandemic, my husband put on some weight and started having some serious issues with depression. This lead to a lot of tension in our marraige. A little over year ago he started to go to therapy and improved emotionally which also led to improvments in our relationship.
Things really started to change a bit around new years. He has been hyper focused on self improvement, his diet, and going to the gym. This has also been good for his mental health but things have been getting weird. First he wanted to get Lasik because he didn't like his glasses, I told him I thought his glasses were nice but also supported him in getting it done. In February, he started electolysis on his back hair. I'm actually kind of happy about this, but also told him it wasn't neccesary. Last week he came home with a pretty substantial tattoo (a half sleeve on his arm) that he didn't talk to me about at all. I don't mind that he gets tattoos, it's his body. However, the fact that he didn't even talk to me about a pretty big change to how he looks has me kind of panicking.
He's lost a ton of weight, got rid of his glases with the lasik, started his back hair treatments, and overall made improvements in his appearance in grooming and clothing. While I don't mind these changes, I also don't really care about them and I wonder who he's doing it for. The tattoo was kind of a wake up call to me about how much he's been changing and the fact that he didn't talk to me about it first has me concerned. I'm worried that he's doing it for somebody else. I tried to talk to him about it and initially brushed off my concerns. When I pushed harder he said his therapist helped him understand that focusing on self-improvement will help his self esteem and self worth. Again, this isn't bad, but the fact that I had to push for it just makes me concerned. I'm worried he's cheating on my or intending to cheat on me.
Am I overreacting? Is it normal for men to go through this kind of drastic change for "self-improvement" or am I somewhat justified in my concerns that he might be cheating? Every time he goes to the gym I'm worried that he's doing something else.

I have been dealing with chronic, migrating joint pain for the past 6 years. Within the past 12 months, it has ramped up and moved down into my lower back and SI joints. I took 10 weeks of medical leave last November from my corporate job to try and sort it out because I was in alot of pain which was causing massive anxiety. Unfortunately, during my leave, doctors ran basic tests and said I was fine and put me on anxiety meds.
I've been back at work since February and things continued to deteriorate with my back. I have been sucking it up and pushing through the pain because I fear losing my job. Unfortunately, this weekend, I woke up in a level 9/10 pain, passed out from it, and could not support my upper body weight. Despite this, I still waddled my way into work yesterday and had to take breaks where I had to lie down flat in the bathroom and stretch my SI joints. Its pathetic and embarrassing.
I saw my doctor yesterday, and she is finally taking it seriously and is concerned that something is wrong with my SI joints causing them to be extremely inflamed. My lower back is swollen as well. She gave me a steroid shot (did nothing at all) and has now ordered imaging and autoimmune testing. She has also referred me to an orthopedic surgeon and rheumatologist.
I am happy things are being taken seriously, but at this point - my boss has lost all sympathy and understanding for my health problems and he freaks out anytime I need to leave work early for appointments or if I need to work from home because of pain.
I get his frustration, I will admit that at least once a week, I need to either leave early for apts or wfh due to pain. However, I have never missed a deadline and continue to provide amazing work. I also push through more than I dont and he doesnt see that. I've never once been reprimanded for work-related issues - only the needing to wfh or the appointments, citing that "Others start to get jealous that I'm able to leave early and wfh but they can't". He retaliates by giving me attitude, interrupting me in meetings, and not giving me work or work that is way below my skill level.
I have been trying to find a new job, but the insurance here is good and I need it to resolve these issues hopefully. I am also a single mom, so just up and quitting isn't an option. I'm not sure how to protect my job or if it's even possible to do so. I'm not trying to freak out, but it's becoming harder and harder to take care of myself and I don't have anyone to lean on or help me. I cannot afford for these issues to get to a point where I am unable to be independent.
I am curious if anyone else here has experienced discrimination at work due to chronic pain, or has lost a job because of it. What happened and how did you handle it?
I do have FMLA, but that only covers me for 12 weeks and I've already wasted 10 on medical leave, leaving me with two weeks of FMLA left until November 2024. I'm not sure what my options are moving forward...Do I talk to HR? (I know they are there to protect themselves not me) Is there anything else I can do to protect myself and my job?
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I've reached the limit where I can no longer push through the pain. I also have to get this imaging and further testing done ASAP, but the places that do the imagine are only open during the same times I work and I live 45 min away from where my job is located - going there on lunch breaks isn't an option.
When dealing with chronic pain, how do you put yourself and your health first when you have a kid to support and are doing it all alone?
Looking for any advice, personal anecdotes, words of encouragement, success stories - anything. I keep feeling so guilty like I am letting people down by being in pain, but it’s obvious now that the pain is real and it's gotten to a really bad point.

My SO is going to be the absolute death of me and I just need to rant because I’m losing it 😭
I’ll preface by saying that I’m chronically ill/have an autoimmune disease, this pregnancy is very high risk because of my health issues. I have two other kids and I’ve been staying home for 7 years, but I’m in college full time. This is his first baby and my third. He just doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the way pregnancy affects your body, especially when you’re already not in good physical health - no matter how I explain it.
This morning he told me because he knows of so many people who work full time jobs while they’re pregnant, that I shouldn’t be so useless and use it as an excuse all of the time. Which… I don’t. But before even being pregnant I couldn’t lift more than my toddler because of my health issues, so I’m definitely not doing it now. Meanwhile I do all of the housework/cleaning/laundry/shopping/my own schoolwork/taking care of my two kids 100% while he does…. Nothing. he quit his job 3 weeks ago and isn’t even working either!! Hasn’t looked for a new job. Im losing it here 😭 can anyone relate!? Why did I do this to myself??

Hello Vets of Reddit,
First of all, thank you for all that you do. I admire you tremendously. As a human nurse, I acknowledge that I could never do what you do. Thank you for the difference you make in the lives of our pets. That leads me to my current question:
My sweet dog died of lung cancer in August. It was fast progressing, and horrible. She was 9. Two months later, I was going insane without an animal. I walked down to the humane society and picked out the oldest cat. She was 15 and her owner had passed, she had been there four months. Terrified, hyperthyroid, skinny, and lonely.
We nursed her back to health. We loved her. She was in really bad shape when we got her. I thought she’d be dead before christmas.
She’s being put down later this week for severe arthritis and kidney failure. She spent the most beautiful 7 months in her home.
Throughout all of this, our Vet has been the best. He is so intelligent, compassionate, and amazing at what he does. Having to do this twice in one year is horrible. But he’s made it a lot easier
Long backstory aside, I would like to get him a gift or a gift card for going above and beyond for my two babies in the past year. What should I get him? What’s the best thing a patients human has gotten you? I want it to be useful or like a nice gift card so he can go and have a nice night.
Thank you again <3

I had a huge scare a few months back, when I got an email from my family Dr that she's retiring this summer and all patients were being de-rostered. Scrambled to sign up for every wait list I could find, I'm late 50s and have health conditions that would be really awkward to handle without a Dr.
OK, so I got a message that she found a replacement taking over this summer. Then amazingly I got an email that a clinic I signed up for has me close to top of wait list. Now the new clinic is much closer to home for me. They want my info for a meet and greet with a new Dr, to be scheduled. Wondering what happens if I say yes. Would they immediately do paperwork to transfer records/move me, or would it happen after meet & greet with new Dr? Essentially wondering if I can meet new Dr before deciding, I figure I'm changing doctors regardless, but wondering what process is like.
Current clinic is about 40km from home for me, new one is about 25km from home.

Here is my situation and would like some second opinions before contacting the host.
I am about 10 days into a 40 day long stay in an upper floor apartment for school not travel. The listing said no AC, which I assumed would be no big deal because it’s May and the lows for the night where I am located would be 0-12 degrees C, with highs from 10-20C (maybe 25 near the end of the stay) during the day. Why would I need AC right??
First week or so I am here, it got below freezing at night, was very cloudy and rainy. I did not have any issue with the temperature, it stayed below 20 inside. However last few days I have woken up to it being sunny and my apartment being 25C and about 70% RH. Now here’s the kicker, it reached a low of 5C outside and at 8AM was 10C and I slept the entire night with the window open as much as it would open and a 6” fan (that I brought myself) blowing outside air into the room all night!! I have to close the window when I leave for school due to connected balconies and being in the hood, so when I get home at 430 is usually closer to 27C. I open the window trying to blow like 15C air into the room and it only is able to offset the heat generated by the shower, oven and fridge I am using. So the room temp doesn’t drop much until 8pm, then it is able to crawl down to about 22C by 1030 and does not go much lower. Only for it to start heating back up at 5am I am terrified this place will be actually hostile to my health if the temperatures get any hotter outside…. I theorize the reasons it can get so hot are a combination of:
-piss poor ventilation to my room through a central system (heat through is a manual radiant system fyi. It is most certainly off in my room and not playing a factor)
-being on the 6th floor to a poorly planned old building that probably used to be office space
-knee to ceiling windows across the whole apartment that face east with blinds that are very bad at stopping convection air flow at the tops and bottom
-very old inefficient fridge and stove that put out a lot of heat with no room dividing walls in the suite.
As for how the humidity gets so high, I have absolutely no idea. I think the tiny ventilation duct (there is only 1) is bringing hot humid air from the rest of the apartment building. I am on floor 6 out of 7. I am somewhat conflicted because I am aware the room said no AC when I booked. But I also believe it’s reasonable expectation that no AC means your apartment will be at most 1 maybe 2C hotter than the outside ambient air temp. And differences of up to 15C and 40% humidity is completely insane. Last few days have been barely tolerable and if my apartment temps continue to increase with the forecasted outside temperatures I would like the host to either issue a full refund so I can stay somewhere else or deliver a 10 000 BTU stand alone AC unit. Is that unreasonable?
Thanks for the help

This happened around 2 years ago, but I've recently been thinking about it because every so often, I get the "but he's still your dad" comment every time the subject comes up and today, it happened again.
When I (26F) was 18, I went no contact with my parents for a little over 5 years. Both of my parents were/are toxic, but my father was a bit worse. To put things in perspective, im the middle child, yet still im the only one to have never gone on a family vacation, because i just wasnt ever considered family the way my siblings were. I spent most of my adulthood wondering why i wasnt good enough. Still, I always yearned for a dad and a mom. Two and a half years ago, I was pregnant and just getting out of an abusive relationship. I was isolated from everyone, even friends. After going to therapy and working on my mental health, I decided I needed to establish a support system for myself and my baby. In hopes that they had changed, I reached out to both my parents. They had finally separated during my period of no contact, so they were living separately. My mom lived in a different state, so she wasn't able to help much. My parents seemed thrilled at the idea of having another grandchild and seemed really supportive at first. My dad was dating a new woman and I thought she was really sweet at first. But then she got really controlling and manipulative really quickly. I'd see her call my teenage sister the most horrible names, and it was suddenly clear why my sister always hated her. One time she INSISTED on coming to my last ultrasound appointment with me and my dad. And I could only have one person in the room with me (COVID), so she sat in the car. The appointment took around 45 minutes to an hour. When we got back to the car, I was feeling SO happy over seeing my baby. It was an amazing moment, until we opened the car doors and she started literally yelling at us for taking so long. She very quickly soured a sweet moment. I could list off all the things she's done, but its not worth it.
Anyway, The place I was living in wasnt the safest. My dad let me stay at his house for almost a month, just so I wouldn't have to spend even longer in a bad environment until I closed on my house. They were even "nice" enough to start working on a nursery for my baby at THEIR house. Which, I didn't think anything of, because his girlfriend said she wanted to watch the baby while I worked. It just seemed like excited grandparents to me. I was excited to have such a great support system during such a tough time in my life.
During this time, he made it very clear, he wanted/expected to be in the delivery room with me when I gave birth. He wasn't willing for it to be my mom AND him because he refused to be in the same room as my mom (HE was the cheater, but acted like she was the devil), so it had to be JUST him. Personally, I didn't like the idea of being in such a vulnerable position AND being naked, infront of my dad, but I was just planning to do what he wanted anyway because I always wanted a dad, so if I had to make some sacrifices to get that, then I was okay with it. Towards the end of the month, I had my baby shower and people really came together to help me. By the end of the day, I had pretty much everything I needed and more. Right after the baby shower, my dad told me he should lock the gifts into the room behind his. That they'd be safe in there. So, I agreed. I mean, he had put me through a lot when I was a kid, but even so, I could trust him not to steal from me and my unborn child, right?
No.
The week before i was supposed to move into my house, I called him while he was on his break at work. I was nesting pretty bad. I asked him If he could unlock the door in his bedroom when he got home, or let me know if there's another key, just so I could get the things ready to bring to my house. I wasn't adamant about it, just asked him to do it whenever he had the chance or whenever we were both free, since i worked too. I was very polite about this. The sellers were letting me move in some of my things early, so i wanted to get a lot of the stuff done. He said NO. He refused to EVER let me have my things. I wish I could tell you there was some sort of trigger to this or that I saw this coming, but I didn't. It really did come out of nowhere. I thought we were good. He went on about how I probably wasn't even going to let him in the delivery room with me (I had planned on it, I never told him otherwise.)
After he said that, I told him he'd never be in my life and that he would never meet my child or any future children I have. And I meant it. Even if he HAD given me my stuff back, the fact that he said he wasn't going to, at any point....I can't have someone in my life that even CONSIDERS doing that to me or my children. I went on to have my mother and my sister in the delivery room with me and it was an incredible experience. After the whole ordeal, MULTIPLE family members told me they were glad I cut contact with him, because they were SURE he was going to try to do something so I'd look bad, so he could have custody. I'm so glad I didn't trade one abuser for another by continuing to let my dad walk all over me.
I've now moved to another state, living with the man of my dreams and our 2 children that my father has never met.
Today, me and a friend from my hometown were messaging, having a conversation about our parents. She has a very good relationship with her parents. When I brought up that my father hasn't even met my children, she said I overreacted when I cut contact and I'm denying my children a bond with their grandparents.
So reddit, AITA for going No contact with my father?
EDIT: To answer some questions; yes, I did tell everyone who gave me gifts that their gifts were stolen. Yes, I did contact the police. And the sheriff. Neither would help me. They told me I'd need to bring my father to court. I would've done that, but I had just bought a house. I couldn't afford a lawyer and I was just ready to be done with him completely.
Me and my now husband got together shortly after I had my first child. He was my biggest supporter. We were long time friends and it was a long time coming, so we got serious pretty quickly and he's raised both children as his own.
EDIT #2: I couldn't break down the door or take it off its hinges. There were other people in the house, as my dad's gf doesn't work. I was 9 months pregnant and already under a lot of stress. They definitely would've called the cops if I tried to break into the room.

What I like about these channels below is that the creators know your time is valuable and the content isn't a bunch of recaps or the trappings of reality TV. Straight and to the point, beautifully shot by amateur hobbyist/professionals with some history and artifacts.
Really I wish this was the kind of stuff History Channel had in their lineup.
Below The Plains uses old maps of the plains cities of homes, hotels, outposts train depots trying to plot out where the outhouses were located. Charting, plotting, probing, digging, finding all kinds of different artifacts. Lots of glassware, bottles, cookware and the like. He is a wealth of knowledge about most everything he finds and post info about the item as hes digging it up.
The Trek Planner finds oddities and interesting looking places on google earth in the southwest and then hikes miles off into the canyon and scrub brush and finds pueblo dwellings in the cliffs where people lived their day to day life sharpening their tools, grinding their grain, creating petroglyphs and pictographs. Broken pottery and tools laying around. Some places you just cant get to he gets drone footage which is pretty stunning.
Desert Drifter - Exploration and Adventure with a Historical Twist, more of the above,
ThePOVChannel is another one with a dog that does a lot of cliff and canyon adventures.
Flour Gold Wizards - this guy prospects for flour gold and small gold flakes on and around Lake Superior prospecting setting up a portable sluice, panning, refining, finding that black sand is critical I guess. I dig his costar.
Wristwatch Revival Marshall repairs vintage mechanical watches, complete disassembly, cleaning, restoring, reassembling some really cool old timepieces. He also goes into the history of watchmaking, history of brands, the tools needed, explains each part and what it does in relation to the next part. I really like his content, its chill and great stress reliever.
What channels on youtube are you into like these?
Please post below I want to broaden my horizons.

As the title says, she wants a break, she says not just me, but from everything
She is going through a lot, namely 1. Her dad having issues with depression, has it by birth I don’t know the medical term for it. His health recently has been kind of down.

1. Her brother is not able to find placements, hence there is a money issue back home. Her mother works and he is to be replacing her role and her mother can better take care of her father
   
2. She wants to support by getting a placement as well, but is held back by backlogs and cgpa issues.
   
3. She has to stay back at the hostel to complete pending lab courses, she is really homesick
   

Now, coming to my dumbass, i myself have been in a not so good state of mind and was unable to give my 100%, but she loves me, the things she says, the way she is around me.
Few days ago she goes on a trip, with friends, supposedly, I found out she isn’t staying where she is staying and is staying in the apartment where her ex is staying, she doesn’t tell me this and tells me she is somewhere else with friends. I later ask her and show her the proof and she said she was staying at her ex’s best friends place, although along with her friends( again supposedly). But she did swear on herself that she loves me and that she was not staying there. Now she is very particular about the swearing part and takes it hella seriously. I was confused, when I showed her the proof she is like she didn’t do anything that was wrong, swears on it. She said she didn’t want to tell me as she didn’t like the way I would ask her if he is going to be there and that my reaction would ruin her whole trip experience. Again, why would she swear she wasn’t there?
My trust is broken, she wants a break, now I don’t know if she cheated on pressure, or just went out with her friends. I tend to believe the latter, and so would every single person that knows she as they don’t expect that kind of shit from her
Now, the break terms are:

1. We are not allowed to see anyone else
   
2. She doesn’t know when the break is going to end, I asked week or months or years, she said it can be anything, weeks or months or years.
   
3. If I want to walk away she is fine by it, she can understand
   
4. She is fine if I want to talk to her or if I can’t take it and don’t want to talk to her.
   
5. Till then we are friends.
   

Please tell me what it is honestly, what your views are, our relationship is 2.5 years old. We have been through and accident, a guy coming between us and a whole lot more.