Someone listening to the timothy treadwell tape
Lofi HipHop
2014.05.01 04:42 HexagonHobbes Lofi HipHop
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2010.12.30 16:51 mahkato Things my kid said
2011.11.21 00:53 Let's Talk Music
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2024.05.15 08:37 DissimulationIX My buddy completely freaked me out
I was hanging out with a couple buddies of mine and just screwing around. One of them, who we will call Josh for the purpose of this, he has always been a non-emotional type of guy. The entire time I’ve known him, I have not seen a single ounce of empathy come from this guy and I’ve never seen him feel bad for anything. Now I do know that he has antisocial personality disorder (I think he told me he was diagnosed with it at like 21) so that probably accounts for that.
With that said and keeping that in mind, we’ll get into describing what went down. He ended up getting a call from some girl that he’s working on getting with. I’m guessing she was upset about something based off his responses. While listening in onto that phone call, he did the strangest thing that I’ve ever heard him do. He completely changed the way he talked and everything. Like it seemed like this man straight up became a completely different person. Like he just completely flipped a switch and became a different person. He was being extremely empathetic and gentle with her. Even listening to it myself made me feel warm inside. After they got off the phone, his entire demeanopersonality changed back to what it was prior.
I looked at him like “what the heck was that” because I’d never seen something like that from him before. I joked around with him a little like “why can’t you be that empathetic with us?” and what he said kind of confirmed the lack of empathy thing. He said that he didn’t actually care but thought that’s just what she wanted so he acted like he cared. It was just odd because typically in situations where emotional support/empathy is needed, he’s no help at all and is just like “that’s tough” and continues on with his day.
I was and still am perplexed by that because I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone change their personality traits in such a drastic manner like that in a split second. It was honestly a little alarming.
Anyone else ever encountered something like this? Because it just weirded me out.
submitted by DissimulationIX to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
With that said and keeping that in mind, we’ll get into describing what went down. He ended up getting a call from some girl that he’s working on getting with. I’m guessing she was upset about something based off his responses. While listening in onto that phone call, he did the strangest thing that I’ve ever heard him do. He completely changed the way he talked and everything. Like it seemed like this man straight up became a completely different person. Like he just completely flipped a switch and became a different person. He was being extremely empathetic and gentle with her. Even listening to it myself made me feel warm inside. After they got off the phone, his entire demeanopersonality changed back to what it was prior.
I looked at him like “what the heck was that” because I’d never seen something like that from him before. I joked around with him a little like “why can’t you be that empathetic with us?” and what he said kind of confirmed the lack of empathy thing. He said that he didn’t actually care but thought that’s just what she wanted so he acted like he cared. It was just odd because typically in situations where emotional support/empathy is needed, he’s no help at all and is just like “that’s tough” and continues on with his day.
I was and still am perplexed by that because I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone change their personality traits in such a drastic manner like that in a split second. It was honestly a little alarming.
Anyone else ever encountered something like this? Because it just weirded me out.
2024.05.15 08:34 CzarHerod420 26 [M4F] #Virginia #online Looking for a real relationship
I understand that there is an inherently negative side to online dating and would prefer someone within a realistic travel range (if it's too far for you to go then what would make it closer for me xD) I work nights and sleep during the day so the size of my town has made it so I do not really come into contact with anybody
I'm 6'3" bald regular build black beard and hazel eyes willing to trade sfw pictures to gauge interest between us
Avid chess player so if you happen to also we should play a game
Also a fair advance warning, I'm rather dry but my active listening is a major strong point so I may not always carry the conversation but will always keep it pointed and moving
Love language is touch which isn't an option here but if we were to ever be together I don't want that to be a deal breaker (this is not speaking in the sexual aspect, I like being close, more like sitting near each other with some contact between us like a hand on a knee or such)
submitted by CzarHerod420 to r4r [link] [comments]
I'm 6'3" bald regular build black beard and hazel eyes willing to trade sfw pictures to gauge interest between us
Avid chess player so if you happen to also we should play a game
Also a fair advance warning, I'm rather dry but my active listening is a major strong point so I may not always carry the conversation but will always keep it pointed and moving
Love language is touch which isn't an option here but if we were to ever be together I don't want that to be a deal breaker (this is not speaking in the sexual aspect, I like being close, more like sitting near each other with some contact between us like a hand on a knee or such)
2024.05.15 08:31 Prize-Dinner-7418 AITA for getting drunk and turning off my phone
TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.
submitted by Prize-Dinner-7418 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):
- Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
- My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
- Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
- Maryse, 27F at the time.
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.
2024.05.15 08:31 Easy_Oil_6737 Steps to protect yourself from N-Parent (Pls add to it)
I made a list to help myself out of he poison choke around my life. Her list of accompalishments towards harming me since i was 2 (now in 30s) has gained her quite a reputible permanent evil persona and us (me & siblings) strength to lose any sense of human touch with ourselves and the world.
I hope the list of helps someone in need:
Setting Boundaries
no giving complete control of my life to her no checking on her (made-up) health issues everyday no listening to b-s on every little thing no receiving abusive/racist comments no sharing of cars
Limiting Communication
no sharing of special time (earlier all the time) no sharing of career and personal updates no phone calls / message no introducing to friends/ partners no sharing contacts of circle
Creating Distance
no eating together no photographs taken together or shared no going together to movies/family events no sharing of resources of any kind no gifts
Recovering from CSA / Chronic loneliness Focus on Healing
What else? What did you do to protect yourself?
submitted by Easy_Oil_6737 to NarcissisticMothers [link] [comments]
I hope the list of helps someone in need:
Setting Boundaries
no giving complete control of my life to her no checking on her (made-up) health issues everyday no listening to b-s on every little thing no receiving abusive/racist comments no sharing of cars
Limiting Communication
no sharing of special time (earlier all the time) no sharing of career and personal updates no phone calls / message no introducing to friends/ partners no sharing contacts of circle
Creating Distance
no eating together no photographs taken together or shared no going together to movies/family events no sharing of resources of any kind no gifts
Recovering from CSA / Chronic loneliness Focus on Healing
What else? What did you do to protect yourself?
2024.05.15 08:31 tsukimon 22 [M4F] Girl buddy?
Looking for girl "friend/s" kasi i barely have girl na friends. I want to overcome my fear of talking to girls haha. I can't seem to find someone with the same interest/vibes at least in my exp or di reason yun para matakot sainyo gals?
Abt you:
can call naman if prefer niyo.
submitted by tsukimon to PhR4Friends [link] [comments]
Abt you:
- can chat thru discord or instagram
- open-minded
- kahit any tbh (im open for any kind of convo)
- naka-glasses
- 5'6-5'7ish
- in college
- average bod ish (nasa slim side)
- more of a listener
can call naman if prefer niyo.
2024.05.15 08:30 truth_power This is going to piss off alot of people here
Most women will deny this, but this is the truth:
Women tend to be attracted to the men they don't like, and unattracted to the men they do like.
If you are genuine and honest and transparent with your feelings, you're not complicated and you're not exciting but you feel safe - so they "like you" but they aren't attracted to you because there's no element of danger to you.
This is the behaviour women encourage in men and outwardly state they prefer, although they almost always friendzone every man foolish enough to be misled by this.
You feel safe, but you don't make her feel safe. And what I mean by that is, you feel safe because you're non-threatening, but because you're non-threatening you haven't demonstrated you can protect her and make her feel safe - which is why women go after men who make them feel unsafe (in a dangerous oh my god I'm getting wet sort of way, not a creepy impotent disgust response triggered sort of way) - because they know if that man can make her feel unsafe, he can make others feel unsafe - so then if she can get him to like her, he will use that power to make her feel safe both with him and from others. This is not what they're consciously thinking by the way. Most women don't operate ANYWHERE NEAR this level of thinking and self-awareness. This is me explaining the driving force behind their behaviour to you in a way they are incapable of explaining themselves.
On the other hand if you're difficult to understand, slightly arrogant, don't really take them seriously etc - they don't like you and think you're an asshole, but they're attracted to you because you project power, don't need them, don't make sense and are unobtainable - and if they can "win you" by making you fall for them, then they can benefit from you - except you can never let them win you completely, because if she understands you too much and domesticates you too much you become weak and boring - which is why the game is always on and always necessary.
You never get to "just be yourself" with a woman. Can you have moments of vulnerability and authenticity? Sure. Moments. But few and far between. Make that your default behaviour and personality and you can start counting down the days until she leaves. Again, women will deny this. They don't like it when I say this stuff. It makes them look bad and feel bad about themselves. So they like to think I'm wrong and double down on the nonsense they actually believe but which doesn't work in practice (that all men should be very emotionally available, open, honest, transparent and vulnerable all the time) - but this is nonsense.
An important skill as a man is being able to ignore and tune out women - a lot of what they say is noise, as in, a confounding variable - stuff they believe to be true because they feel it strongly WHICH JUST ISN'T TRUE - you don't argue with them about this, because it's a waste of time. Arguing against a woman's emotions is a fool's errand. It's like a child writing a 300 word essay on why it's unfair they have to go to bed early. Who cares? It's just noise. But it's important to them. So you let her get it off her chest for catharsis to feel better about it, look like you're listening and deeply taking it in, and then ignore the vast majority of it, if not all of it. Sifting through the mountainous heaps of shit women say to extract the gems from the dirt is an arduous task, and genuinely not something you bother with unless it's your wife or perhaps your mother as a loving mercy to them. But if it's any other women? Just ignore.
Most women are fools with foolish opinions who lack self-awareness regarding their own nature. Whatever they think on the matter at hand (such as this very discussion) is largely errant. They will constantly try to disprove you, and they are almost always wrong, and if you are foolish enough to be seduced by their arguments, they will mislead you. Don't let them mislead you. Just hold their opinion in low esteem to begin with and try not to get too frustrated when they foist their ignorance on you.
Anyhow, I have digressed a lot about why you should ignore women's opinions on relationship dynamics, so back to the main topic:
Women are attracted to men that they don't like (they think he is an asshole, sexist etc) and who they don't understand (because working out his contradictions is a stimulating challenge). This attraction then becomes liking you specifically, but not men like you (men who have your views and act like you) - basically in principle, she doesn't like you or men like you - never did - you are right wing, she is left wing, you believe in meritocracy, she believes in equality - but because women are not people of principle, but of whim and sentiment, even though they're not meant to like you they end up liking you because they're attracted to you, and they're attracted to you because you have some charm and cunning and ruthlessness and carry an air of superiority about yourself, which are qualities the types of men they like in principle tend to lack, but the men they dislike in principle possess in abundance.
This is why women are counterintuitive hypocrites who date men they openly call assholes, but then refuse to date men they say are really sweet and great who they hope finds a nice woman (just not her).
Don't let it bother you, they're never going to change - this is just the way they are. You can respect them less because of it, and ironically, your lack of respect for them will make you even more attractive to them.
Most women will never admit it, but equality isn't sexy - they are drawn to men who think they're better than them, and what sexist man doesn't think he's better than a woman? They yearn to be in proximity to that aura of vigorous masculine supremacy. They eat it up. And they hate themselves for it in principle, for liking men who by their own value system and ego judgement are assholes - but like moths to a flame they have no self-control, so they dive head first into the fire - following their hearts and their loins. That's women for you.
submitted by truth_power to infp [link] [comments]
Women tend to be attracted to the men they don't like, and unattracted to the men they do like.
If you are genuine and honest and transparent with your feelings, you're not complicated and you're not exciting but you feel safe - so they "like you" but they aren't attracted to you because there's no element of danger to you.
This is the behaviour women encourage in men and outwardly state they prefer, although they almost always friendzone every man foolish enough to be misled by this.
You feel safe, but you don't make her feel safe. And what I mean by that is, you feel safe because you're non-threatening, but because you're non-threatening you haven't demonstrated you can protect her and make her feel safe - which is why women go after men who make them feel unsafe (in a dangerous oh my god I'm getting wet sort of way, not a creepy impotent disgust response triggered sort of way) - because they know if that man can make her feel unsafe, he can make others feel unsafe - so then if she can get him to like her, he will use that power to make her feel safe both with him and from others. This is not what they're consciously thinking by the way. Most women don't operate ANYWHERE NEAR this level of thinking and self-awareness. This is me explaining the driving force behind their behaviour to you in a way they are incapable of explaining themselves.
On the other hand if you're difficult to understand, slightly arrogant, don't really take them seriously etc - they don't like you and think you're an asshole, but they're attracted to you because you project power, don't need them, don't make sense and are unobtainable - and if they can "win you" by making you fall for them, then they can benefit from you - except you can never let them win you completely, because if she understands you too much and domesticates you too much you become weak and boring - which is why the game is always on and always necessary.
You never get to "just be yourself" with a woman. Can you have moments of vulnerability and authenticity? Sure. Moments. But few and far between. Make that your default behaviour and personality and you can start counting down the days until she leaves. Again, women will deny this. They don't like it when I say this stuff. It makes them look bad and feel bad about themselves. So they like to think I'm wrong and double down on the nonsense they actually believe but which doesn't work in practice (that all men should be very emotionally available, open, honest, transparent and vulnerable all the time) - but this is nonsense.
An important skill as a man is being able to ignore and tune out women - a lot of what they say is noise, as in, a confounding variable - stuff they believe to be true because they feel it strongly WHICH JUST ISN'T TRUE - you don't argue with them about this, because it's a waste of time. Arguing against a woman's emotions is a fool's errand. It's like a child writing a 300 word essay on why it's unfair they have to go to bed early. Who cares? It's just noise. But it's important to them. So you let her get it off her chest for catharsis to feel better about it, look like you're listening and deeply taking it in, and then ignore the vast majority of it, if not all of it. Sifting through the mountainous heaps of shit women say to extract the gems from the dirt is an arduous task, and genuinely not something you bother with unless it's your wife or perhaps your mother as a loving mercy to them. But if it's any other women? Just ignore.
Most women are fools with foolish opinions who lack self-awareness regarding their own nature. Whatever they think on the matter at hand (such as this very discussion) is largely errant. They will constantly try to disprove you, and they are almost always wrong, and if you are foolish enough to be seduced by their arguments, they will mislead you. Don't let them mislead you. Just hold their opinion in low esteem to begin with and try not to get too frustrated when they foist their ignorance on you.
Anyhow, I have digressed a lot about why you should ignore women's opinions on relationship dynamics, so back to the main topic:
Women are attracted to men that they don't like (they think he is an asshole, sexist etc) and who they don't understand (because working out his contradictions is a stimulating challenge). This attraction then becomes liking you specifically, but not men like you (men who have your views and act like you) - basically in principle, she doesn't like you or men like you - never did - you are right wing, she is left wing, you believe in meritocracy, she believes in equality - but because women are not people of principle, but of whim and sentiment, even though they're not meant to like you they end up liking you because they're attracted to you, and they're attracted to you because you have some charm and cunning and ruthlessness and carry an air of superiority about yourself, which are qualities the types of men they like in principle tend to lack, but the men they dislike in principle possess in abundance.
This is why women are counterintuitive hypocrites who date men they openly call assholes, but then refuse to date men they say are really sweet and great who they hope finds a nice woman (just not her).
Don't let it bother you, they're never going to change - this is just the way they are. You can respect them less because of it, and ironically, your lack of respect for them will make you even more attractive to them.
Most women will never admit it, but equality isn't sexy - they are drawn to men who think they're better than them, and what sexist man doesn't think he's better than a woman? They yearn to be in proximity to that aura of vigorous masculine supremacy. They eat it up. And they hate themselves for it in principle, for liking men who by their own value system and ego judgement are assholes - but like moths to a flame they have no self-control, so they dive head first into the fire - following their hearts and their loins. That's women for you.
--someone
2024.05.15 08:30 HrDivinemonk Listen to someone using bluetooth earbuds orheadphones
I have a simple question - how (or what I have to do) to reverse listen someone using bluetooth earbuds/headphones!
Example: Suppose I'm having a sales meeting & I have pitched my argument - now I'll act as if I have got an urgent call (just imagine - example scenario) . I'll connect my buds to my phone - leave the buds on the table! Now how can I listen to them via the buds mic on my phone!
Is it even possible!? I remember I have seen it is somewhat possible with Apple - what abt Android (& also with PC/laptops - bluetooth enabled)
submitted by HrDivinemonk to wireless [link] [comments]
Example: Suppose I'm having a sales meeting & I have pitched my argument - now I'll act as if I have got an urgent call (just imagine - example scenario) . I'll connect my buds to my phone - leave the buds on the table! Now how can I listen to them via the buds mic on my phone!
Is it even possible!? I remember I have seen it is somewhat possible with Apple - what abt Android (& also with PC/laptops - bluetooth enabled)
2024.05.15 08:25 HrDivinemonk Listen to someone using bluetooth earbuds/headphones
I have a simple question - how (or what I have to do) to reverse listen someone using bluetooth earbuds/headphones!
Example: Suppose I'm having a sales meeting G I have pitched my argument - now I'll act as if I have got an urgent call (just imagine - example scenario) . I'll connect my buds to my phone - leave the buds on the table! Now how can I listen to them via the buds mic on my phone!
Is it even possible!? I remember I have seen it is somewhat possible with Apple - what abt Android
submitted by HrDivinemonk to bluetooth [link] [comments]
Example: Suppose I'm having a sales meeting G I have pitched my argument - now I'll act as if I have got an urgent call (just imagine - example scenario) . I'll connect my buds to my phone - leave the buds on the table! Now how can I listen to them via the buds mic on my phone!
Is it even possible!? I remember I have seen it is somewhat possible with Apple - what abt Android
2024.05.15 08:25 HrDivinemonk Listen to someone using bluetooth earbuds/headphones
I have a simple question - how (or what I have to do) to reverse listen someone using bluetooth earbuds/headphones!
Example: Suppose I'm having a sales meeting G I have pitched my argument - now I'll act as if I have got an urgent call (just imagine - example scenario) . I'll connect my buds to my phone - leave the buds on the table! Now how can I listen to them via the buds mic on my phone!
Is it even possible!? I remember I have seen it is somewhat possible with Apple - what abt Android (& also with PC/laptops - bluetooth enabled)!
submitted by HrDivinemonk to bluetooth [link] [comments]
Example: Suppose I'm having a sales meeting G I have pitched my argument - now I'll act as if I have got an urgent call (just imagine - example scenario) . I'll connect my buds to my phone - leave the buds on the table! Now how can I listen to them via the buds mic on my phone!
Is it even possible!? I remember I have seen it is somewhat possible with Apple - what abt Android (& also with PC/laptops - bluetooth enabled)!
2024.05.15 08:25 Safe-Bread-6386 Repost of profile results for the doubters
 | So hopefully this isn't annoying but I'm reposting my results with different photos because someone accused me of being delusional and blind and claimed all I did was use different lighting and different angles. submitted by Safe-Bread-6386 to Subliminal [link] [comments] So to debunk that accusation, I went digging in my phone to see if I could find a photo of me on the day before I started listening to my current subliminal playlist, which is angle skull subs and body subs. I found one! The before photo (taken 17 days ago) and the after photo (taken today) are taken in the exact same location, my bathroom, with the samest lighting and the samest angle I could do myself. I have done nothing differently in the past 17 days other than listen to my playlist 12+ hours a day. I can clearly see positive results and I'm happy and for any doubters who questioned it here is more proof. |
2024.05.15 08:19 Candid-Anybody-6652 Narcissistic boyfriend?
Hello everyone, My long distance boyfriend (saying bf for the sake of it, but don't feel he is) and I fight quite often, especially recently. Around two weeks ago he started ignoring me and texting me later than usual. Then, past weekend, on Saturday, he almost didn't text me the whole day and apparently went to a birthday party (of course didn't mention anything before). The next day, he didn't text me almost the whole day (although we're both free on Sundays), however, he did to send me a screenshot of a text of a coworker saying "good morning my prince" to try to annoy me and told me I'm stupid (?) along with other offensive words because I'm currently unable to go see him. It's been over a week since then and I almost haven't talked to him. He knows exactly what happened and that I'm offended, I told him directly I don't want to talk to him and I'm not letting it slide this time. The worst part: he doesn't even say sorry or anything, just goes on having a monologue about his day. Yesterday he texted me about how we went to the dentist and has tooth pain, how he thinks about me, bla bla bla. Is this normal? Is it normal to completely ignore everything I say and FEEL, try to swipe everything under the rig and go on 'yapping' about your day as if nothing has happened?? Is it me or is this person completely lacking emotional intelligence and just plain trying to manipulate me? Or am I too serious and 'vengeful'? The worst is that he's always been like that and I'm sooo tired. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect me, who doesn't listen to me and completely invalidates my feelings. I tried to explain this to him, but as usual, he doesn't listen and completely ignores. I'm so tired already and feel like every day I'm losing attraction to him. Do you have any advice? Thanks for reading.
submitted by Candid-Anybody-6652 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 08:17 DravenDravenDraven22 [23/M] Europe - Looking for my someone 😊
Hey there! I am a 23 year old guy, and im looking for my special someone.
I am 190cm(6'3) tall, I have short black hair, hazel eyes. My hobbies are driving, working on my car, going to the gym, play video games, listen to music and watch YouTube videos, and also play with my dog too :D I go to university to be an IT Engineer and also work part time aswell.
I am a very cuddly person, very loyal, honest, and I like giving all of my attention to the person who's important for me. If we'd get closer, I'd love to spend all my freetime with you and chat/voice call a lot, and hopefully develop a long lasting relationship, and hopefully it'll turn to irl in the future.
I'm looking for a girl who's also cuddly, clingy, kind, sweet, and who'd also be a good Passenger Princess 😋
If you'd be interested in chatting and getting to know each other, send me a message :)
submitted by DravenDravenDraven22 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I am 190cm(6'3) tall, I have short black hair, hazel eyes. My hobbies are driving, working on my car, going to the gym, play video games, listen to music and watch YouTube videos, and also play with my dog too :D I go to university to be an IT Engineer and also work part time aswell.
I am a very cuddly person, very loyal, honest, and I like giving all of my attention to the person who's important for me. If we'd get closer, I'd love to spend all my freetime with you and chat/voice call a lot, and hopefully develop a long lasting relationship, and hopefully it'll turn to irl in the future.
I'm looking for a girl who's also cuddly, clingy, kind, sweet, and who'd also be a good Passenger Princess 😋
If you'd be interested in chatting and getting to know each other, send me a message :)
2024.05.15 08:13 Accurate_Avocado9637 I’m sick and tired of getting Nurse practitioners and PA’s instead of a real doctor
Im just going to preface this and say that this is not towards all NP’s or PA’s, and I’m just sharing my experiences. I’m not trying to discredit them, but once again this is my experience. I’m not a Karen, I swear. I’m a young adult who has a handful of health issues that I just want help with.
I am someone who has a bit of health issues, and I have for mostly my whole life, yet these past few years it has only gotten worse. And because of this, I frequently have to go to the doctors or get referrals. This being said I swear that whenever I go to an office for the doctors all I can get is a nurse practitioner or a PA. So, typically I give them the benefit of the doubt and just see how it goes. So far 7 times out of 10 they genuinely have no clue what I am talking about or have no explanation, or just a general lack of training.
I had this really good dermatologist who was very very intrigued with how my body works. My body is very sensitive to the environment, and frequently break out into hives over things I can control, I can even trigger it if I wanted to. He attentively listened to everything I said, look at the proof I have on my phone, would perform tests in office and educate me thoroughly on my conditions. I have cold urticaria, pressure urticaria, cholingeric urticaria, as well as dermatographism. So sadly my doctor had to move to a different state, and I had to get a new dermatologist. So, I walk into the new place and she introduces herself, and she is a PA, okay great. However, upon explaining to her what I had been diagnosed with and need help with, when asking questions, she could not help me. She couldn’t help me with educating because she had no clue what they were herself. The only thing she knew was the cold urticaria which she solely focused on and performed another test on me so she could see it herself. I had to inform and educate her on my conditions.
Okay, another example is I had to go to a psychiatrist, and the office referred me to a NP. Once again, okay great. I went in there explaining my issues and I would tell her basic things and I don’t know what she couldn’t comprehend. She couldn’t explain things, wouldn’t even explain my supposed diagnosis. Id ask her questions and she would beat around the bush. What really made me mad about this NP is how she acted with me when I tried to get her to give me a doctors note for accommodations for schooling. For one, she made me wait four months for it even though once a month I had to see her. I had to beg her up and down for it, and I gave her the requirements and everything. She gives me a paper finally, and it looks like I drafted it up myself so the school wouldn’t accept it. I told her that they wanted her license number at least because she wouldn’t even put it on a header. She flipped out on me, she refused to give me her license number and told me she wasn’t giving it, and if they wanted it that bad they can look it up themselves.
I go to a new gynecologist the other day, and what do they put me with, a NP. Well, I was going in there for valid concerns, and plus I needed a new once since my other one became a professor. However, I explained to her my past with medical stuff. TMI it was irregular periods. And I swear to god this woman, who should know all about this could not give me an explanation by saying that I’m just young, that’s all it is. Girl, it’s been about decade with a period, it should be regulated now when it was fine for years. Then when we were talking about me and autoimmune disorders (which is a whole other story), she once again had no clue. I ask her a couple more questions so I could educate myself, and her response is “yeah that is weird. I don’t know.”- girl, come on now.
Then, I was at the ED because I was having heart issues. My heart rate would go into the 170-180s and plummet, and they assigned me a NP who looked at me for one second, said I was fine, sent me home. My ekg results came out as abnormal, and on top of that I had to go to a cardiologist where I was diagnosed with a heart condition. On top of this, I was irritated at her because they had be in the waiting room for about 6 hours, brought me to a flex room that didn’t even have a bed, it was a chair, and I was sent out immediately. I had to wait a few more hours and eventually I said to my mother, I don’t feel good, I want to go home. So we go to the desk to discharge, and they are like “are you sure you want to leave, your doctor was just about to discharge you?” First of all no doctor came over to us, second of all the woman I seen for 1 second had come into the waiting room FULL of people announcing my test results and blood work.
All I’m asking is for someone who can explain things and know what they are doing. But once again, they don’t have the same training as doctors. Doctors had pre med, medical school, residency, attending, etc. and only a couple for the others.
This is my experience.
Also, I can also admit I’ve had some good NP that I’ve seen in urgent cares and such.
submitted by Accurate_Avocado9637 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I am someone who has a bit of health issues, and I have for mostly my whole life, yet these past few years it has only gotten worse. And because of this, I frequently have to go to the doctors or get referrals. This being said I swear that whenever I go to an office for the doctors all I can get is a nurse practitioner or a PA. So, typically I give them the benefit of the doubt and just see how it goes. So far 7 times out of 10 they genuinely have no clue what I am talking about or have no explanation, or just a general lack of training.
I had this really good dermatologist who was very very intrigued with how my body works. My body is very sensitive to the environment, and frequently break out into hives over things I can control, I can even trigger it if I wanted to. He attentively listened to everything I said, look at the proof I have on my phone, would perform tests in office and educate me thoroughly on my conditions. I have cold urticaria, pressure urticaria, cholingeric urticaria, as well as dermatographism. So sadly my doctor had to move to a different state, and I had to get a new dermatologist. So, I walk into the new place and she introduces herself, and she is a PA, okay great. However, upon explaining to her what I had been diagnosed with and need help with, when asking questions, she could not help me. She couldn’t help me with educating because she had no clue what they were herself. The only thing she knew was the cold urticaria which she solely focused on and performed another test on me so she could see it herself. I had to inform and educate her on my conditions.
Okay, another example is I had to go to a psychiatrist, and the office referred me to a NP. Once again, okay great. I went in there explaining my issues and I would tell her basic things and I don’t know what she couldn’t comprehend. She couldn’t explain things, wouldn’t even explain my supposed diagnosis. Id ask her questions and she would beat around the bush. What really made me mad about this NP is how she acted with me when I tried to get her to give me a doctors note for accommodations for schooling. For one, she made me wait four months for it even though once a month I had to see her. I had to beg her up and down for it, and I gave her the requirements and everything. She gives me a paper finally, and it looks like I drafted it up myself so the school wouldn’t accept it. I told her that they wanted her license number at least because she wouldn’t even put it on a header. She flipped out on me, she refused to give me her license number and told me she wasn’t giving it, and if they wanted it that bad they can look it up themselves.
I go to a new gynecologist the other day, and what do they put me with, a NP. Well, I was going in there for valid concerns, and plus I needed a new once since my other one became a professor. However, I explained to her my past with medical stuff. TMI it was irregular periods. And I swear to god this woman, who should know all about this could not give me an explanation by saying that I’m just young, that’s all it is. Girl, it’s been about decade with a period, it should be regulated now when it was fine for years. Then when we were talking about me and autoimmune disorders (which is a whole other story), she once again had no clue. I ask her a couple more questions so I could educate myself, and her response is “yeah that is weird. I don’t know.”- girl, come on now.
Then, I was at the ED because I was having heart issues. My heart rate would go into the 170-180s and plummet, and they assigned me a NP who looked at me for one second, said I was fine, sent me home. My ekg results came out as abnormal, and on top of that I had to go to a cardiologist where I was diagnosed with a heart condition. On top of this, I was irritated at her because they had be in the waiting room for about 6 hours, brought me to a flex room that didn’t even have a bed, it was a chair, and I was sent out immediately. I had to wait a few more hours and eventually I said to my mother, I don’t feel good, I want to go home. So we go to the desk to discharge, and they are like “are you sure you want to leave, your doctor was just about to discharge you?” First of all no doctor came over to us, second of all the woman I seen for 1 second had come into the waiting room FULL of people announcing my test results and blood work.
All I’m asking is for someone who can explain things and know what they are doing. But once again, they don’t have the same training as doctors. Doctors had pre med, medical school, residency, attending, etc. and only a couple for the others.
This is my experience.
Also, I can also admit I’ve had some good NP that I’ve seen in urgent cares and such.
2024.05.15 08:13 CuriousAnachronism 24 M Germany - History and Literature Enthusiast
Hello and welcome to my post. I would like to make a friend.
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I would prefer to find another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and tell me about yourself. Take care.
submitted by CuriousAnachronism to friendship [link] [comments]
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I would prefer to find another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and tell me about yourself. Take care.
2024.05.15 08:12 CuriousAnachronism 24 M Germany - History and Literature Enthusiast
Hello and welcome to my post. I would like to make a friend.
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I would prefer to find another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and tell me about yourself. Take care.
submitted by CuriousAnachronism to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
Here are my interests:
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Well that about wraps it up for my interests. I would like to add a few things before I finish. I am neurodivergent (autism spectrum) and struggle with mental health. I respect the struggles others have but due to certain negative experiences I would prefer to find another Aspie. I am rather introverted and I do not have a large social circle. If I like someone I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I have been hurt in the past by caring about someone much more than they about me so I would like to avoid such things now.
If you decide to message me I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and tell me about yourself. Take care.
2024.05.15 08:12 the_tethered Armpit Tox
 | Here's my dose map for pit tox! Hopefully it helps someone here. submitted by the_tethered to DIYCosmeticProcedures [link] [comments] These injections are VERY SHALLOW - just the bevel of the needle. I normally don't use lido cream but I did use lidocaine 5% for this area because I was already anticipating it would be uncomfortable due to the number of injections so I wanted to make it a bit easier on myself by not having the distraction of discomfort. It was definitely tricky doing it with my off hand, plus doing it "backwards" in the mirror was certainly a challenge. This required a lot more patience than other areas not only because of the number or injections but the angle as well. Sitting on the ground in front of a floor length mirror with something behind me I could lean back on made it easy. I made sure I was in a calm state of mind, not in a rush and was prepared for it to take a while which helped. It can be a bit frustrating at first so go slow. I wipe off the sections I've completed as I go so I don't lose my place. ...Don't listen to me or do anything I say, I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. Just your friendly neighborhood SWEATY internet tox goblin sharing my own DIY experience and personal adult decisions. Do research and make good choices. |
2024.05.15 08:04 themohammadhamza 10 major signs of judgement day
Islam has several significant and minor indicators of the imminence of the Day of Judgement, but they all point to the manner and timing of its arrival. The Quranic findings and other hadiths give Muslims wisdom and direction beforehand so that when the time comes, they will be able to discriminate between good and wrong, even though only Allah knows the precise day. True events are predicted by Qayamah’s lesser and greater indications.
From an early age, we are taught about the approaching judgement day, and when we inquire about its exact date, we are informed that it will occur eventually. We have the texts of the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (SAW) to confirm its authenticity. Hudhayfah bin Usayd says that as we were having a conversation, Allah’s Apostle showed up out of the blue. “What topics do you discuss?” he asked. “We are discussing the Final Hour,” the friends uttered.
The smoke, the Anti-Christ, the beast, the rising of the sun from the west, the descent of Jesus, the Gog and Magog, and landslides in three places, one in the east, one in the west, and one in Arabia, at the end of which fire would burn forth from Yemen, driving people to the place of their assembly, were among the ten signs he mentioned. (Muslim)
Following Imam Mehdi’s entrance, the Prophet (Saw) declared, “One person will appear before the end of the world.” Both his and my names will be the same, as will those of his father. The world will be full of tyranny and injustice before to his coming, but justice will prevail when he arrives. An angel would appear from the cloud above his head and say, “This is Mehdi, listen to what he says.”
He is going to take on many of the enemies of Islam and try to make the international legal system better. There will be a great lot of injustice, transgressions, murders of Muslims, and the system of good actions will be destroyed by the evildoers prior to his arrival.
There are numerous ways to read the hadith and the time indication. There are others who hold the belief that anything that Allah has predetermined cannot be changed. Some people think that the Sun rising in the West signifies the upending of the global system.
However, regular supplications and prayers are very necessary and can prevent one from taking actions that will ultimately be harmful to them. In addition to these major signs, there are other smaller or more subtle signs of the Day of Judgement in Islam, and numerous theories have been formed based on these signs to confirm their accuracy.
Thanks For Reading Till here, I would really recommend joining Online Islamic Institute, It is one of the most affordable institutes while providing the quality of an expensive course, Over 150 Students, from kids to elderly have joined from the past 4 years, And just letting you know that, you will get up-to 14 days free demo, depending on the courses, so if you are interested, Register now
submitted by themohammadhamza to u/themohammadhamza [link] [comments]
From an early age, we are taught about the approaching judgement day, and when we inquire about its exact date, we are informed that it will occur eventually. We have the texts of the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (SAW) to confirm its authenticity. Hudhayfah bin Usayd says that as we were having a conversation, Allah’s Apostle showed up out of the blue. “What topics do you discuss?” he asked. “We are discussing the Final Hour,” the friends uttered.
The smoke, the Anti-Christ, the beast, the rising of the sun from the west, the descent of Jesus, the Gog and Magog, and landslides in three places, one in the east, one in the west, and one in Arabia, at the end of which fire would burn forth from Yemen, driving people to the place of their assembly, were among the ten signs he mentioned. (Muslim)
In Islam, there are ten phases to the day of judgement, each of which depicts the event categorically:
1) Arrival of Imam MahdiFollowing Imam Mehdi’s entrance, the Prophet (Saw) declared, “One person will appear before the end of the world.” Both his and my names will be the same, as will those of his father. The world will be full of tyranny and injustice before to his coming, but justice will prevail when he arrives. An angel would appear from the cloud above his head and say, “This is Mehdi, listen to what he says.”
He is going to take on many of the enemies of Islam and try to make the international legal system better. There will be a great lot of injustice, transgressions, murders of Muslims, and the system of good actions will be destroyed by the evildoers prior to his arrival.
2) Dajjal Will Arrive
Most people are informed that the most obvious and well-known sign is the advent of Dajjal. He’ll claim to be God when he gets there. A heretic is someone who places their confidence in him. If information about him is misguiding people, why would they believe him? This is the job of the Fitnah of Dajjal, forcing the population’s thinking to be fixed so that they will inevitably accept the idea that he is God (God forbid). Dajjal is going to be able to control the sky to rain and the earth to sprout plants. These are deceptive signs, but they will make people think he is God.3) The Descent of Jesus
According to Islamic belief, Prophet Jesus will descend at the time Dajjal shows up and declares himself to be God. He would then attack and murder Dajjal. In addition, he will bring Muslims to Tur Mountain, destroy the cross, and free them from the Majooj and Yajooj. The Jews were supposed to kill the Prophet, but Allah raised him up and preserved him. When he gets there, everyone who has been buying into falsehoods and misconceptions will be taken aback.4) Yajooj And Majooj’s emergence
There are multiple references to Yajooj and Majooj’s rise to prominence. A wall encloses them. There is a legend about them that states that during Hazrat Ibrahim’s (a.s.) reign, there lived a just King by the name of Zulqarnain. People asked him to keep them safe from the Gog and Magog tribes, two deadly tribes they had heard about. Zulqarnain consequently built an iron wall that would remain impenetrable till the end of time. They will therefore be able to break past the barrier and chase the populace come the end of time. To relieve humanity from its fury and danger, Hazrat Isa will arrive on Earth5) Smoke will appear as a sign of the Day of Judgment.
The Quran states, “Wait for the day when smoke appears from the sky.” According to Hadith, “the smoke will come from the sky and blanket the entire planet for 40 days.” It is said that although smoke will chill Christians, it will chastise unbelievers. There are numerous theories regarding what smoking will be like in the future. The most frequent possibilities are an atomic explosion or environmental contamination. In any event, the result will serve as one of the markers for the Day of Judgement in Islam.6) The Coming Of The Beast
As stated in the Quran, “And when the word of torture is fulfilled against them, we shall bring out from the Earth a beast for them, to speak to them, because mankind did not accept with conviction in Our signs,” Allah verifies the arrival of the beast in Islam. (An-Naml: 82) It is said that the beast is carrying Mousa’s handstick for believers, and that if they are sincere believers, light would radiate from their faces. For the unbelievers, he will wield the Seal of Suleman; if it comes into contact with them, their countenance will turn gloomy, denoting their degree of faith.7) The Sun Rise from the West
One of the primary indicators of Qayamah, or the Day of Judgement in Islam, is the rising of the Sun from its setting position in the West. “The Hour will not come until the Sun has risen from the West, and when it rises and people see it, they will all believe,” but additionally, “that will be the time when it will do no good to a person who has not believed before, nor earned good (by doing deeds of righteousness through his faith),” according to Abu Hurayrah, a contemporary of the Prophet (saw). (As stated by Muslim and Al-Bukhari, 11/352 and 2/194)There are numerous ways to read the hadith and the time indication. There are others who hold the belief that anything that Allah has predetermined cannot be changed. Some people think that the Sun rising in the West signifies the upending of the global system.
8) Landslides
There will be three major landslides in Islam: one in the Arabian Peninsula, one in the East, and one in the West. The Prophet (saw) stated that the signs won’t appear until these regions have attained the highest concentrations of immorality and bad behaviour. Some people think that earthquakes, not landslides, will be the cause of the landslides. The most common belief is that these locations would submerge due to a natural disaster, killing the local population.9) The Fire Will Begin
The eruption of fire from the direction of Yemen, from the bottom of ‘Aden, from the Sea of Hadramawt’ is another key sign of the day of judgement. The Prophet (Saw) was heard saying, “The last of them will be a fire that will come from Yemen, and will force the people to the area of their assembly,” according to Hudhayfah ibn Usayd. (Source: Muslim, 18/27)10) The Kaabah Will Be Destroyed
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Dhu’l-Suwayqatayn from Abyssinia will ruin the Ka’ba and seize its treasure and kiswah,” according to Abdullah Ibn “Amr.” I feel as if I can see him now; he’s balding and his wrists are distorted. With his spade and pich-axe, he will attack the Ka’ba. Allah will take the Quran and the virtuous people from the Earth to shield them from the Last Hour.However, regular supplications and prayers are very necessary and can prevent one from taking actions that will ultimately be harmful to them. In addition to these major signs, there are other smaller or more subtle signs of the Day of Judgement in Islam, and numerous theories have been formed based on these signs to confirm their accuracy.
Thanks For Reading Till here, I would really recommend joining Online Islamic Institute, It is one of the most affordable institutes while providing the quality of an expensive course, Over 150 Students, from kids to elderly have joined from the past 4 years, And just letting you know that, you will get up-to 14 days free demo, depending on the courses, so if you are interested, Register now
SOURCE : islamtheultimatepeace.com
2024.05.15 07:59 Pinkglo_Radio Gothic, Synth-wave, Pop, Rock song in dire need of extra ears for mix!
Hey everybody,
I am working on a new single and I believe I have the mix really close to being done. It's one of those things where one day, I am ecstatic about the mix, and other days I'm like "this is shit". I have someone I go to regularly for mastering, so I know they will add their artistic flair that will iron out some of the kinks, and make it playable on all devices. In the mean time, I can tell there is more to do, but my ears are a little shot at the moment and I would just appreciate some unbiased ears and feedback on the mix.
Here is the drive link for it. Red Flags (Mixed) is the one you should listen to. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Xx4L9LfQzM17PPnaw9XVpausEORYBf4x?usp=drive_link
submitted by Pinkglo_Radio to MusicFeedback [link] [comments]
I am working on a new single and I believe I have the mix really close to being done. It's one of those things where one day, I am ecstatic about the mix, and other days I'm like "this is shit". I have someone I go to regularly for mastering, so I know they will add their artistic flair that will iron out some of the kinks, and make it playable on all devices. In the mean time, I can tell there is more to do, but my ears are a little shot at the moment and I would just appreciate some unbiased ears and feedback on the mix.
Here is the drive link for it. Red Flags (Mixed) is the one you should listen to. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Xx4L9LfQzM17PPnaw9XVpausEORYBf4x?usp=drive_link
2024.05.15 07:59 ShinnigLightAsmr Yandere Lich Seeks Revenge on You [F4A] [M4A] [F4M] [M4F] [Lich] [Yandere] [Betrayal] [Death] [Magic] [Knight]
Note: Monetization is allowed, just credit me, ask before making any changes, and send a link to the audio. Also, there are 831 words of dialogue
Context: You are a knight that was once in love with a magic user. Unfortunately, you had to slay them because they betrayed you. One night, as you try to spend some time with your new lover, someone familiar seeks you out. They are seeking revenge!
Note: 831 words of dialogue
[Feet walking on ground] Well, well, well. What do we have here? Two little love birds kissing behind a tree? How scandalous! You two should really get a room.
…
What’s with the staring? Did you really think I’d look the same as the day you killed and buried me in that grave? That's not how resurrection works darling. As you can clearly see, I’m all bones but I managed to keep my luscious locks. Apparently even as an undead lich, I still look gorgeous.
…
Your new love interest is quite… underwhelming. To be completely honest darling, I never expected you to move on so quickly. Especially after all we shared together. Now I see you cuddling up with this pathetic little thing. You clearly have downgraded. If you wanted to find a new lover, perhaps you should have found someone more worth your time.
…
Do not talk to her like that? Please darling, you lost all rights to boss me around once you betrayed and killed me. I can talk to her however I please. [Talking to Listener's new lover] Listen sweetie, your knight in shining armor is a slug that only cares about themselves. The moment they are tired of you, they will cast you aside like garbage. Just like they did to me. If you’re lucky, they’ll make your ending painless.
…
From your expression you clearly have forgotten about what you did to me. You, the person I loved the most, pierced my heart with a sword and tossed me into a pauper's grave! I gave you everything! My heart, my soul, everything!
…
Do not give me that! I did not betray you. You betrayed me. Stabbed me in the back when I least expected it. And to think that the king knighted you.
…
Yes, I do expect an explanation. Why did you do it?
…
Because of Raven Brook? What about that stupid, little, backwater town?
…
I destroyed it? [Barking Laugh] But of course, they deserved it. Plotting to kill me and my family. The bunch of traitors. You would think they would be grateful for everything I did for them. Turns out they repay safety and mercy with death and destruction. Ungrateful peasants, the lot of them.
…
(Hurt and accusatory) Innocent people?! Don't make me laugh! You should have seen what they said about my family. Actually, you did see what they did when we walked through the town on official business for the king. They threw garbage at me! Called me horrible names. Witch, harlot, demon, and every other name in the book. And not once did you defend me. Not once did you shield me from the hurtful words or projectiles. It makes me wonder… did you also see me as a monster? Is that why it was so easy for you to kill me? I didn't see any tears on your face when you made the fatal blow. Only a cold mask.
…
Don’t even bother trying to defend yourself. You have no leg to stand on, nothing to say that can fix all of this. However, there is something you can do…sacrifice yourself.
…
I mean, tis only fair. You killed me for defending my family, I kill you for stabbing me in the back. If you’d like, your new little girlfriend can watch.
…
Let her go free? I don’t think so. Can’t have any witnesses darling. Afterall, that’s the first step of a revenge plan.
…
(Mocking) Aww! How sweet is this? Your little lady friend is using her own body to shield you. Isn’t that just precious. If I had a heart, it would be bursting at the sight. Too bad though, I need to dispose of her.
…
Now what to do with her? There are so many possibilities. I can feed her to my pets or toss her into the void. I could make her watch your demise, but I’d rather see your fear as you wonder about her fate. I’ll just stick her in one of my shadow pockets to be disposed of later.
…
[Talking to Listener’s new Lover] Now my dear, please hold still while I make sure you don’t escape.
…
[Clanking of chains] Hey! Hey! Don’t struggle or else these chains will tighten. Wouldn’t want your pretty skin to be ruined, now would we?
…
Now that’s better. Little Miss heroine is all chained up and ready to be tossed into my shadow pocket.
…
How do I still have my magic? My dear sweet hero, you forgot the most important rule before burying a magic user: Cut off their head before burying them. It would seem that the moment I left the world of the living, you forgot all about me. That includes everything I taught you.
…
What am I going to do to you? (Smirk) That answer is very simple: I am going to break you like you broke my heart. I’ll tear you apart bit by bit. You’ll feel all the pain I felt when you betrayed me and buried me in that pauper’s grave. And don’t worry about your new girlfriend. I’ll take care of her later. Prepare for your worst nightmare, my dear knight.
submitted by ShinnigLightAsmr to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
Context: You are a knight that was once in love with a magic user. Unfortunately, you had to slay them because they betrayed you. One night, as you try to spend some time with your new lover, someone familiar seeks you out. They are seeking revenge!
Note: 831 words of dialogue
[Feet walking on ground] Well, well, well. What do we have here? Two little love birds kissing behind a tree? How scandalous! You two should really get a room.
…
What’s with the staring? Did you really think I’d look the same as the day you killed and buried me in that grave? That's not how resurrection works darling. As you can clearly see, I’m all bones but I managed to keep my luscious locks. Apparently even as an undead lich, I still look gorgeous.
…
Your new love interest is quite… underwhelming. To be completely honest darling, I never expected you to move on so quickly. Especially after all we shared together. Now I see you cuddling up with this pathetic little thing. You clearly have downgraded. If you wanted to find a new lover, perhaps you should have found someone more worth your time.
…
Do not talk to her like that? Please darling, you lost all rights to boss me around once you betrayed and killed me. I can talk to her however I please. [Talking to Listener's new lover] Listen sweetie, your knight in shining armor is a slug that only cares about themselves. The moment they are tired of you, they will cast you aside like garbage. Just like they did to me. If you’re lucky, they’ll make your ending painless.
…
From your expression you clearly have forgotten about what you did to me. You, the person I loved the most, pierced my heart with a sword and tossed me into a pauper's grave! I gave you everything! My heart, my soul, everything!
…
Do not give me that! I did not betray you. You betrayed me. Stabbed me in the back when I least expected it. And to think that the king knighted you.
…
Yes, I do expect an explanation. Why did you do it?
…
Because of Raven Brook? What about that stupid, little, backwater town?
…
I destroyed it? [Barking Laugh] But of course, they deserved it. Plotting to kill me and my family. The bunch of traitors. You would think they would be grateful for everything I did for them. Turns out they repay safety and mercy with death and destruction. Ungrateful peasants, the lot of them.
…
(Hurt and accusatory) Innocent people?! Don't make me laugh! You should have seen what they said about my family. Actually, you did see what they did when we walked through the town on official business for the king. They threw garbage at me! Called me horrible names. Witch, harlot, demon, and every other name in the book. And not once did you defend me. Not once did you shield me from the hurtful words or projectiles. It makes me wonder… did you also see me as a monster? Is that why it was so easy for you to kill me? I didn't see any tears on your face when you made the fatal blow. Only a cold mask.
…
Don’t even bother trying to defend yourself. You have no leg to stand on, nothing to say that can fix all of this. However, there is something you can do…sacrifice yourself.
…
I mean, tis only fair. You killed me for defending my family, I kill you for stabbing me in the back. If you’d like, your new little girlfriend can watch.
…
Let her go free? I don’t think so. Can’t have any witnesses darling. Afterall, that’s the first step of a revenge plan.
…
(Mocking) Aww! How sweet is this? Your little lady friend is using her own body to shield you. Isn’t that just precious. If I had a heart, it would be bursting at the sight. Too bad though, I need to dispose of her.
…
Now what to do with her? There are so many possibilities. I can feed her to my pets or toss her into the void. I could make her watch your demise, but I’d rather see your fear as you wonder about her fate. I’ll just stick her in one of my shadow pockets to be disposed of later.
…
[Talking to Listener’s new Lover] Now my dear, please hold still while I make sure you don’t escape.
…
[Clanking of chains] Hey! Hey! Don’t struggle or else these chains will tighten. Wouldn’t want your pretty skin to be ruined, now would we?
…
Now that’s better. Little Miss heroine is all chained up and ready to be tossed into my shadow pocket.
…
How do I still have my magic? My dear sweet hero, you forgot the most important rule before burying a magic user: Cut off their head before burying them. It would seem that the moment I left the world of the living, you forgot all about me. That includes everything I taught you.
…
What am I going to do to you? (Smirk) That answer is very simple: I am going to break you like you broke my heart. I’ll tear you apart bit by bit. You’ll feel all the pain I felt when you betrayed me and buried me in that pauper’s grave. And don’t worry about your new girlfriend. I’ll take care of her later. Prepare for your worst nightmare, my dear knight.
2024.05.15 07:58 tab_rick Navigating Bathtub Sizes: Making the Best Choice for Comfort and Space
 | Finding the ideal bathtub size can be a difficult challenge when there are so many different sizes available. The typical bathroom is already so cramped that trying to comfortably fit everything in might feel like fitting pieces into a jigsaw puzzle. The bathtub has changed from being only a practical object to a focal point of bathroom design as a result of the rise in home decor trends and the focus on luxurious bathing experiences. This article will go deeply into the world of bathtubs, assisting you in choosing the right one for your needs and available space while also understanding the many different bathtub sizes and styles. submitted by tab_rick to KKRsolidsurface [link] [comments] Different components of the bathtubA typical drop-in style bathtub takes up more than 13 square feet of floor space and is a common fixture in many homes. Despite the fact that every bathtub is distinct, normal tubs have exterior dimensions that are roughly 60 inches long, 30 inches broad, and 14 to 16 inches high. These measurements are essential for the layout of your bathroom and the overall design. The material of a bathtub is also a component; alternatives range from fiberglass to cast iron, each of which offers a different bathing experience. https://preview.redd.it/metr7luv3j0d1.png?width=612&format=png&auto=webp&s=5a65a381989af3c3630d85ed5ddf6acfaa1a58c9 The Importance of Bathroom LayoutSpace ManagementThe space in bathroom facilities is usually insufficient, especially in metropolitan settings. It follows that thorough planning of your region is necessary. Every inch counts，The location of the bathtub, its closeness to other fixtures, and ensuring mobility all depend on careful space design. Even in very small bathrooms, it’s imperative to leave at least 12 inches between the edge of the tub and any fixtures. As a consequence, the user feels more comfortable while still maintaining functionality.Tips for Smart PositioningWhen positioning the standalone tub, elegance and function must be combined. In smaller bathrooms with constrained space, it’s critical to ensure that the freestanding tub doesn’t impede mobility. The standalone tub’s edge should be kept at least 12 inches away from other fixtures. By having an open floor area that is at least 24 inches wide around the freestanding tub, the bathroom might appear bigger and less crowded. Never forget that striking a balance between design and utility is crucial.Different Types of Bathtubs and Their SizesAlcove BathtubsMany homeowners select alcove bathtubs, which are identified by their location within a space limited by three walls. They are frequently the best choice for tiny or typical-sized bathrooms. These baths are normally between 30 and 36 inches broad and 5 to 6 feet long. The front panel of the design—often referred to as an apron—is typically finished, and the surrounding walls are intended to cover the remaining three sides. When thinking about an alcove bathtub, it’s critical to precisely measure the available space to make sure the tub will fit properly while yet allowing enough room for mobility. An alcove bathtub is set against the far side, so the two long walls form the ends and back of the bathroom.Drop-in BathtubsDrop-in bathtubs have a luxurious appearance and are made to fit into a built-in deck with tile or similar material covering the top and exposed sides. In larger bathrooms, the tub deck can fit into a room corner and be left exposed on two sides. Drop-in bathtubs don’t have factory-finished sides like alcove bathtubs do. Instead, they are made to slide into a deck cutout, much like a drop-in sink slides into a vanity countertop. Depending on the size of your bathroom and your preferred design, these large bathrooms can be placed in a variety of locations. However, because the built-in deck can occupy a sizable amount of area, they work best in larger settings.Oval BathtubsOval baths are considered to be elegant and luxurious. They are available in freestanding or drop-in variants. Despite appearing to be large, they are often only wider than normal bathtubs, not longer. If you’re thinking about getting an oval bathtub, it’s important to consider the extra width, especially if you choose a drop-in model. This entails building a bigger apron for the tub to rest on, which may change how your bathroom is organized in general.Whirlpool BathtubsWhirlpool baths are the epitome of spa-like indulgence. Many of these are available in typical alcove-ready sizes, but they may look bigger than standard tubs. Jetted whirlpool mechanisms can be installed without increasing the footprint. The jets in these corner tubs provide a massage-like effect, making them perfect for anyone looking for a peaceful bathing experience. When considering installing a whirlpool bathtub, it’s critical to consider the additional plumbing requirements and check that the bathroom has adequate space for the tub.Corner BathtubsCorner bathtubs are all about luxury and relaxation. They are great for folks who prefer reading in the tub or watching television on the wall. Because they are often square in shape with one corner chopped off, these bathtubs are a good choice for large bathrooms with plenty of space. They can be configured in many ways, such as a triangle shell or a drop-in tub attached to a triangular deck.Freestanding BathtubsBathtubs that stand alone and are not confined by walls or installed in alcoves are known as freestanding fixtures. They can be purchased in many different designs, such as modern pedestal tubs and traditional classic models. They offer positional flexibility and could act as the centerpiece of a bathroom’s decor. Freestanding bathtubs may be a fantastic alternative for people with mobility concerns or areas with plenty of senior citizens. However, they do require more space all around—typically an extra 3 inches on each end and 4 inches on each side. Even though they provide for creative flexibility, they are therefore best suited for larger bathrooms or those with a layout that can handle a tub of this size.Do you feel dazzled by too many styles? That’s okay, I’ve prepared a form for you to choose the bathtub that’s best for you based on your situation.
Regulatory Guidelines on Bathtub SpacingCode for International BuildingsIt’s not just about aesthetics or personal preferences when planning the arrangement of your bathroom; it’s also about following the International Building Code (IBC). This code is more than simply a list of rules; it’s a well-thought-out framework meant to assure safety and functionality. The IBC frequently specifies the basic minimum distance between bathtubs, emphasizing the significance of user safety and comfort.For example, the IBC may specify the exact inches of space necessary between the tub’s edge and other fixtures or walls. While these standards may appear to be strict, they are there for a purpose. By collaborating with them, you ensure not just a complaint but also a user-friendly and comfortable bathroom. Following these recommendations, in my experience, can save a lot of money. Local RegulationsWhile international standards such as the IBC give a wide foundation, local building rules add an additional degree of complication. These regulations can be fairly varied, reflecting the distinct demands and considerations of many locations. They may go into topics ranging from plumbing complexities to the kind of bathtub materials considered suitable. These municipal rules might feel restricting at times, especially if you have a certain goal in mind.However, keep in mind that they frequently result from the collective expertise of local specialists who understand the region’s particular issues and demands. Before starting a bathroom remodeling or installation project, especially if you want anything extravagant like a whirlpool or a custom-made bathtub, it’s a good idea (and often illuminating) to speak with local authorities or experienced builders. They can offer insights that blend regulatory knowledge with practical experience, ensuring your bathroom is both compliant and captivating. The Future of Bathtub SizesBathtub forms and types vary according to home. We should expect greater innovation in bathtub features and sizes as spa-like experiences and the tiny house movement grow more popular. Individuals looking to improve their bathing experience may find exciting alternatives in the future, ranging from eco-friendly materials to bathtubs with built-in digital capabilities. Whether you have a large or small bathroom, the market is likely to offer a bathtub that meets your needs.ConclusionChoosing the ideal bathtub is a highly emotional adventure, not merely a practical one. It’s about integrating a work of art into one’s life rather than just fitting a tub into a room. The key factor in your choosing is what resonates with you, even though your bathroom’s size, the design of your bathtub, and even the confusing local construction rules all play a part. There are a variety of options, each telling a unique tale, ranging from the snug alcove baths to the grandiose freestanding ones. I would advise someone who believes in the power of personal spaces to thoroughly research the many bathing possibilities while also listening to their emotions. Because your bathtub won’t simply be another feature in your house; it’ll become a beloved haven once you achieve that ideal balance between practicality and heartfelt design. |
2024.05.15 07:54 Positive-Alfalfa-826 The person that TFI/Hillel invited today is fucking insane
 | Listen, if the pro Israeli crowd want a speaker on campus, great. Say your point, even if I disagree. But don't invite a literal former terrorist who called for using gas to drive out Hamas. You kinda lose the plot when someone who is just so blatantly islamophobic and said he'd prefer a pig over a Muslim is speaking for you. Someone who is as racist, sexist, and psychopathic as this guy should stay far away from this shit. Otherwise, you attract the other fucking extremist, IDF psychopaths who agree with everything he says to our campus, and that's literally what happened. submitted by Positive-Alfalfa-826 to UCSD [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 07:52 VoidAndBone Review of The Outsiders - 5/08. (Positive review)
Pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this one. The storyline is essentially “rich kids beat up on poor kids” a lot, so it’s pandering to the (now insufferable) “eat the rich” bandwagon that has gotten pretty extreme on some fringes, so I was a bit wary of it. However, I would be not at all surprised to hear that it won Best Musical.
The set: Pretty cool. They entire thing appears to take place in a junkyard, with a car that stays onstage the entire time. At times the audience was asked to imagine that the car was a bed or other furniture. When they were at a drive in, they just lifted the hood and put a sign that said “concession stand.” The only time that I was confused was when they wanted to portray someone in a hospital, they did it by just putting boards on top of stacked tires. I was confused about where we were. Since it was someone who was in trouble with the law, I thought that they might have been taking care of him in someones shed or something. You were supposed to understand it was a hospital by his clothing I guess, but that wasn’t clear enough for me until later dialogue. Also, the stage was covered with faux gravel. Definitely a cool effect, but I wondered if the front row was just a big splash zone. Also most of the actors were wearing pants, but not all! The spin on the knees…ouch.
Choreo: They absolutely deserved their nom here. There are a lot of fight scenes, which I am typically not a fan of, but they did a great job. I don’t know if I would ever describe a fight scene as beautiful but here we are. They were masterfully choreographed, and tight. Some of the other dance scenes were innovative and interesting, particularly the one with boards spinning around in the church. I can’t overstate how excellent I thought it was. The rumble itself was also a piece of choreographic art, and the entire cast was in lockstep during it. It was well done. I will say, one moment during the rumble reminded me powerfully of the apex of the Sleep No More orgy. Let me know if anyone else thought same or if I’m just nuts.
Lighting: I would not be surprised if they win lighting, though I haven’t seen Illinoise. It was absolutely a strong part of the storytelling, especially with the fighting/blackout scenes. I loved when they let you know you were at train tracks, with no change to the set, but a spotlight ripped across the stage and train sound effects. It was a joy to observe how they used lighting.
Score There is one moment in Great Expectations that much of the greasers come on with absolutely spine-tingling harmonies. My first thought was “this is why you go to a live show”. That moment was simply delicious, and it is very much worth seeing live. It’s hard to imagine that the moment could hit you like that on a recorded piece of media. That said, I did not walk out of there with any particular desire to hear any of the songs again. Even the “great expectations” reprise disappointed me - they just sang “great expectations” over and over again and I deeply wanted them to have some kind of impactful line in there instead. Given how powerful the rest of the show is, I’m probably missing out. If people want to tell me what their favorite songs are from that show, I’ll give it a listen.
Costumes: Fine, not much to say here.
Book: Fine? I was neither impressed nor disappointed, and I didn’t notice it while I was watching the show, so probably fine. I wished that the older brother character had been a little stronger (or at least I wish they’d punched it a bit more when he showed up at the rumble, because that was a pivotal moment for that character). I also wasn’t invested in Dallas’s arc. given recent politics, I did think it wise for them to for change his suicide to “jumping in front of a train” instead of “death by cop”, as it was in the novel. These are sort of nitpicks though. I wasn’t a fan of the narration, but it grew on me, especially the way it was used during the fight scenes.
Vocals: The person who made me sit up in my seat was Jason Schmidt/Darrel Curtis. I remember feeling meh on the lead, Brody Grant.
Set, but with spoilers. Wow! I was beyond surprised to see all of that fire on stage. That was raw and powerful. I was later a bit less surprised to see the rain during the rumble (If they are doing that kind of pyrotechnics they are probably required to have a big sprinkler, right?). I loved the effect of the rain during the rumble. At some point, I lost track of who was a greaser and who was a Soc because it got harder to tell in the dim and the rain. I think that was probably the point. Anyway, this definitely meets the criteria of a spectacle, and I would be happy to send broadway first-timers here.
Bechdel test?: Haahhahaha no.
Did I think about it a lot after?: I’ve started evaluating shows this way since A Slave Play and Lempicka, both of which I thought about and talked about a lot. It’s not a show that I am yearning to see again, and it didn’t bring up anything for my mind to chew on later.
Overall I would consider it one of the stronger shows this season, and it’s on my recommendation list for the “what should I see” posts. I’m glad I saw it, but I’m not super interested in seeing it again (if I see a show and love it, I drag my theater-tolerating fiance there). My fiance will probably not see this one. Probably neither here nor there - do with that what you will.
submitted by VoidAndBone to Broadway [link] [comments]
The set: Pretty cool. They entire thing appears to take place in a junkyard, with a car that stays onstage the entire time. At times the audience was asked to imagine that the car was a bed or other furniture. When they were at a drive in, they just lifted the hood and put a sign that said “concession stand.” The only time that I was confused was when they wanted to portray someone in a hospital, they did it by just putting boards on top of stacked tires. I was confused about where we were. Since it was someone who was in trouble with the law, I thought that they might have been taking care of him in someones shed or something. You were supposed to understand it was a hospital by his clothing I guess, but that wasn’t clear enough for me until later dialogue. Also, the stage was covered with faux gravel. Definitely a cool effect, but I wondered if the front row was just a big splash zone. Also most of the actors were wearing pants, but not all! The spin on the knees…ouch.
Choreo: They absolutely deserved their nom here. There are a lot of fight scenes, which I am typically not a fan of, but they did a great job. I don’t know if I would ever describe a fight scene as beautiful but here we are. They were masterfully choreographed, and tight. Some of the other dance scenes were innovative and interesting, particularly the one with boards spinning around in the church. I can’t overstate how excellent I thought it was. The rumble itself was also a piece of choreographic art, and the entire cast was in lockstep during it. It was well done. I will say, one moment during the rumble reminded me powerfully of the apex of the Sleep No More orgy. Let me know if anyone else thought same or if I’m just nuts.
Lighting: I would not be surprised if they win lighting, though I haven’t seen Illinoise. It was absolutely a strong part of the storytelling, especially with the fighting/blackout scenes. I loved when they let you know you were at train tracks, with no change to the set, but a spotlight ripped across the stage and train sound effects. It was a joy to observe how they used lighting.
Score There is one moment in Great Expectations that much of the greasers come on with absolutely spine-tingling harmonies. My first thought was “this is why you go to a live show”. That moment was simply delicious, and it is very much worth seeing live. It’s hard to imagine that the moment could hit you like that on a recorded piece of media. That said, I did not walk out of there with any particular desire to hear any of the songs again. Even the “great expectations” reprise disappointed me - they just sang “great expectations” over and over again and I deeply wanted them to have some kind of impactful line in there instead. Given how powerful the rest of the show is, I’m probably missing out. If people want to tell me what their favorite songs are from that show, I’ll give it a listen.
Costumes: Fine, not much to say here.
Book: Fine? I was neither impressed nor disappointed, and I didn’t notice it while I was watching the show, so probably fine. I wished that the older brother character had been a little stronger (or at least I wish they’d punched it a bit more when he showed up at the rumble, because that was a pivotal moment for that character). I also wasn’t invested in Dallas’s arc. given recent politics, I did think it wise for them to for change his suicide to “jumping in front of a train” instead of “death by cop”, as it was in the novel. These are sort of nitpicks though. I wasn’t a fan of the narration, but it grew on me, especially the way it was used during the fight scenes.
Vocals: The person who made me sit up in my seat was Jason Schmidt/Darrel Curtis. I remember feeling meh on the lead, Brody Grant.
Set, but with spoilers. Wow! I was beyond surprised to see all of that fire on stage. That was raw and powerful. I was later a bit less surprised to see the rain during the rumble (If they are doing that kind of pyrotechnics they are probably required to have a big sprinkler, right?). I loved the effect of the rain during the rumble. At some point, I lost track of who was a greaser and who was a Soc because it got harder to tell in the dim and the rain. I think that was probably the point. Anyway, this definitely meets the criteria of a spectacle, and I would be happy to send broadway first-timers here.
Bechdel test?: Haahhahaha no.
Did I think about it a lot after?: I’ve started evaluating shows this way since A Slave Play and Lempicka, both of which I thought about and talked about a lot. It’s not a show that I am yearning to see again, and it didn’t bring up anything for my mind to chew on later.
Overall I would consider it one of the stronger shows this season, and it’s on my recommendation list for the “what should I see” posts. I’m glad I saw it, but I’m not super interested in seeing it again (if I see a show and love it, I drag my theater-tolerating fiance there). My fiance will probably not see this one. Probably neither here nor there - do with that what you will.