Hi all, I wasn't sure if I should put this here or in the main FtM sub but I figured this might be a better place to post my woes.
Potential triggers: discussion of trauma, PTSD, health concerns, surgery, relationship issues
TL;DR: My partner has a lot of trauma and likely PTSD around caretaking, health issues of loved ones, and surgery, and is having an extremely hard time coping with the fact that I am moving forward with getting top surgery.
So the issue is in the title but there is more context and nuance to this situation, and I want to say outright that my partner (they/them) is extremely supportive of my transition in general and the issue is around the surgery itself.
My partner and I have been together for almost 7 years, and have been married for 3. We got married before I realized I was trans. Before I came out, they were always adamant about not wanting to be married to a man, which made it really challenging for me to want to come out to them and move forward with transitioning when I finally realized that I'm a trans man. That being said, they were supportive of me when I came out as trans about 2 years ago, and have been a great ally and advocate for me in social situations. They struggled a bit with the changes that came when I first started on T, but now they celebrate me and the changes that T has made to my body. Through/because of my transition, they realized they're pansexual, and find me as attractive as they did before T, but it took some time to get here, and they still sometimes struggle with the fact that they're married to a man.
The fact that I transitioned about a year after we got married has been an issue from the get-go, and I think if things had happened in the reverse order, we would both be more satisfied in our relationship. They feel as though they never got to say goodbye to the person they fell in love with. I know that sounds a bit fucked up but I can see where they're coming from, because the person they first met is not who I am anymore. That person was never real to begin with and was more or less a persona that I created to fit into the role that was expected of me, so when I came out, my true personality has come forward, so yes I understand why they feel such grief, and it doesn't mean that they're not also happy for me at the same time (feelings are complicated). This is something we've had a lot of conversations about, and unfortunately I feel that they have some resentment towards me for not realizing my identity before we made a legally binding decision. They don't outright say it, but I get the sense that they feel like I've betrayed them because I came out and started transitioning after we got married rather than before.
Additionally, throughout our relationship, I have struggled with a variety of different health problems. Most recently, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis about 4 years ago, which was triggered by a non-transition related surgery. My partner was an excellent caretaker when I was at my sickest, but they have quite a lot of trauma from their childhood around caretaking, which was then perpetuated in our relationship. Before my diagnosis and while still figuring out the right medication dosage for me, I was extremely irritable and had a lot of negativity/depression/anxiety which I unfairly took out on my partner. These psychiatric symptoms are part of my Hashimoto's, and I also have quite severe ADHD which was untreated at the time, so you might be able to imagine the poor treatment my partner received when I was quite ill. I lashed out at them over very small things and was just generally unpleasant to be around. Due to brain fog, I can't even remember most of what I said or how I acted, but I know it really hurt them (emotionally/mentally). We have had many conversations about this too, and I have apologized more times than I can count. Since getting my health issues and ADHD under control, my behavior and irritability have been significantly better, but they still bring up that time in our relationship whenever we have a major conflict. They clearly have not forgiven me for this or moved on, even though they said they have. I feel like I will never be able to make up for the hurt and trauma no matter how good of a partner I am now.
Fast forward to the present. I have been on my local top surgery waitlist since March 2023 and just yesterday I FINALLY got scheduled for a consult which is next month. My partner has known that I want top surgery from the beginning, and I waited a whole year after starting T before I even got on the waitlist, to allow them some time to process it. I got a call that I was getting close to the top of the list back in February, which I told them immediately, and I have been keeping them updated throughout the process. Every time I bring it up, they get extremely upset. Crying, wanting to be alone, spending all their time in another room and not wanting to be around me, etc. It's obviously very triggering for them and I believe they have PTSD around this. A few months ago, I sat them down and we were able to have an open and honest conversation about it for the first and only time, and they confessed that they didn't think they could mentally handle being my caretaker again because of what happened before. I accepted this immediately and started thinking about and researching other options for post-surgery care. Their feelings and experiences are valid and I have no problem figuring this out on my own if it means that we can have a healthy relationship. I have friends and family who are more than happy to help, and my health insurance covers most of the cost for a caretaker. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by many very supportive people who would absolutely help me out post-surgery. Most of my friends are trans (or are the partner of a trans person) and have had (or have experience taking care of someone who has had) top surgery so I am comfortable asking them for help. There are enough folks in my support system that no one person would be overburdened with taking care of me and in fact the two friends I already told about this issue immediately volunteered (without me even asking) to drive me to/from my appointments and take sick days to help me out post-surgery.
However, when I told my partner that they don't need to take care of me and that I could stay with family, ask friends to help out, or hire someone, they were still upset. They said they feel guilty for not being able to take care of me or be there for me as my partner. They've told me they don't think they can handle being in this relationship if I get top surgery because of the guilt around not being able to take care of me. I feel like I'm being forced to choose between living as my authentic self and keeping my relationship. I already know I'm going to move forward with surgery, but I'm really struggling with the idea that it might mean I'm going to lose my partner, who I thought I would spend my entire life with. I would be willing to delay surgery to allow them more time to process, but it has already been over 2 years since I started medically transitioning, a year on the waitlist, a few months since I was told I'd get a consult soon, and they still aren't mentally prepared for this. I'm concerned that there is not enough time in the world for them to be mentally ready for this and I can't just put my transition on hold when they've already had so much time and made no effort to start to process their trauma around this. I am suffering physically and mentally already - I overheat constantly because I'm binding and wearing multiple shirts to hide my chest and binder, my posture has worsened and I have shoulder and back pain I never had before I started binding, and I am limited in what I can do, especially as the weather is warming up, it makes me extremely sad and dysphoric that I can't just take my shirt off and enjoy the water, or join people in a pool/hot tub. I've tried to explain to my partner that this surgery is a good thing and will allow me to be more mentally present and live a happier and more fulfilling life, which they logically understand but don't seem to emotionally get it due to their trauma. They are in the process of getting a therapist, but haven't seen one yet about this particular issue (they have been to therapy for other reasons a few years ago), and they aren't willing to do couple's counseling, saying that they'd rather put that time/energy into themselves.
It makes me really sad that I can't celebrate this exciting transition milestone with the most important person in the world to me, and that they might not even be in my life anymore afterwards. They don't have an issue with me transitioning, just with the surgery. They said if I woke up tomorrow and my chest was totally flat/masculine, that would be completely ok. I understand being concerned about the health risks of surgery and that my recovery will probably be a little more rough than the average bear because of my thyroid condition, but this goes beyond an understandable/regular level of concern imo. I feel frustrated and disappointed with them for not taking steps towards processing this trauma so they can be there for me, especially since it's something we've had so much time to prepare for. I want to be understanding and patient, but I have been for so long already and haven't seen them put any effort into doing the work. I worry that my patience and understanding is what's been keeping this relationship from falling apart when this subject comes up, and that soon I am going to be out of that energy/space for them unless they start putting the effort into working through these issues.
I am also slightly frustrated because I put in a lot of work over the years to address my emotional issues that caused them a lot of pain, but I don't feel like it's recognized, and every time they're triggered, they treat me as if I haven't done any work whatsoever on myself, like we're right back where we were 4 years ago. I have been through many years of therapy and my hormones are stable (including my thyroid), and I'm on ADHD medication that works very well for me. I take care of myself and get my bloodwork done every 3-6 months as needed, take my medications very consistently, have a good sleep and self-care routine, etc., all changes that have helped me be a better partner and person which I feel have gone completely unnoticed. To be honest, I feel like I take care of them all the time. I go grocery shopping, I make sure dinner is on the table every day, I'm the only one that does the dishes, lately I have been doing most of the cleaning except the floors and litter box. I have even done extra projects around the apartment when they mention something they want to do but don't have time/energy for - like hanging up some art that has been sitting around for a while, and organizing shared spaces. I'm still treated like a villian every time they're triggered, no matter what I say or do. They ask me why I hate them and cry for hours if I get into bed an hour later than they do and it wakes them up (they are a very light sleeper), and tell me I'm being mean when I say I wish they had told me how they feel before things get to the point of crisis. I don't know what to expect from them sometimes because they are unclear in their communication. I ask how they are and they say "as fine as I always am" and don't elaborate even when I ask, which I assume to mean that they're okay, when they're actually not okay and they expected me to just know that, so they think I'm being inconsiderate if I move onto a different topic of conversation. We will go days or weeks without having any issues and then all of a sudden, they tell me "I don't think I can do this anymore" because I didn't do the dishes for a day, or there's a stack of mail that's been on the tv stand for a little too long. They say that it's not out of no where and that if I just paid attention, I would see that, but I do pay attention and I ask how they are and I make space for them to share how they're doing, but they don't share their feelings with me until they get so upset that they can't control it anymore. Lately, the only time they share their feelings is when they're upset.
I don't know what I'm supposed to accept because of their PTSD/trauma and I feel so guilty about how I've perpetuated and caused harm to them in the past, so it feels wrong to suggest that they're being unfair to me. At the same time, I don't think I should be expected to put up with being treated like this and thinking that things are totally okay one day, only to be told the next that they don't know if they want to keep doing this. This morning they told me they don't want to come back home, and that I can keep our cat. I don't want to lose them, but at a certain point I can't make someone work through their trauma, and it makes me extremely sad that this relationship isn't worth saving in their mind and they'd rather just leave me when I get surgery than deal with the hard stuff.
I appreciate you if you read all of that. I don't want anyone to tell me to end this relationship because I am not going to do that without giving them a little more time, especially since they are getting ready to start therapy soon. They really are such a wonderful and amazing person and I feel so so lucky to call them my partner. They have so many amazing qualities and we can relate to each other in ways that I haven't been able to with anyone else. They just have a lot of trauma and I am stuck not knowing how to navigate the situation as I continue my transition, knowing that my getting surgery is extremely triggering for them and might end our relationship. I love them a lot and don't want to lose them, but I'm also realistic and have been in toxic relationships before and will end things if I need to. There is nuance to this situation and I am willing to give them grace and be understanding, but at the same time, I also need to make the choices I need to make for myself. This just really sucks and I think at the moment I'd just like some support. If y'all have ever been in a situation like this and your relationship made it through, I'd love to know how. Thanks.

Okay. I need a wheelchair for the foreseeable future. There's an option of surgery that might--might--put me on my feet, again, but the surgery is risky for reasons too complex for the topic I need help with.
I've got a rental wheelchair that's too big for me and for our house. And it's heavy. So, I'm going to purchase something more sensible, I hope.
Requirements: portable, less than 25 pounds, 16-inch seat, no lower than 17 inches from floor to seat, removable or flipback armrests that are strong enough to allow me to press against them when rising to a standing position (yeah, I can stand--walk? kinda), stroller brakes so my husband has more control as he backs me and the chair down the ramp off our porch, and costs less than $2000.
I've been all over the Internet looking (we're out here in a rural district with no medical supply dealers). When I find a chair that is close to what I want, there's always some weirdness associated.
For example, Strongback allows you to buy online, but won't guarantee that a "Premium Strongback" dealer will service a wheelchair not purchased at the "Premium Strongback" dealer's store.
Almost everything on the SpinLife website is non-returnable.
Drive's removeable armrests are secured in a plastic housing which might break under pressure, and they are not replaceable.
Zeen (which seems marvelous) only offers a 2-year warrantee on a $4100 product, and no one out here can service one. The device would have to be freighted back to Exokinetics at a cost of approximately $400 there and back again.
Velochair (which looks like great fun), isn't a wheelchair no matter what its inventor thinks: it's a recumbent tricycle.
I need help here. Anyone have suggestions? Thank you.

I posted a pic on this sub a few weeks ago and an observant user called out my rig's suspension woes. I corrected the ride height by adjusting the preload. I also made sure the crossover settings were appropriately adjusted based on the preload changes. I managed to get an additional 5 inches (!) of ride height in the rear and 4 inches in the front. There were tons of obvious benefits to the new adjustments. Less bottoming out. I have much more soft spring being engaged. I can clear heavier sand/dirt/snow/mud/gravel etc.
Overall its a positive change. However, turn-in has suffered significantly. The front end just doesn't bite the way it did when it was lower. This seems to make sense to me, but I was wondering if this is simply a non-negotiable trade off of greater ride height. Will a vehicle always handle better when its lower than it does when its higher? Is this simply something you have to consider based on your driving habits? For example, if you're mostly on flatter surfaces and you want to go fast, less ride height might be optimal, but if you're on uneven surfaces, deep sand or mud or gravel you need to accept less handling for better ride height?
Just hoping for some personal experience or some insight.

Hi All. I am currently on Zepbound and just paying out of pocket. I am wanting to switch to semaglutide (oral) but need an rx to do it. Can anyone recommend a cash pay doc that could write me the script and a letter for insurance pre-approval? (I have international health insurance that requires preaproval). Thanks!!

I’m looking for some advice. I’m 28 years old in Canada. I currently work as a custodian for a school board making 29$ an hour. After doing my taxes I make almost 60k. But my monthly take home after taxes, pensions, health insurance and union dues is 2600$ a month.
This is not a liveable wage …. And I’m extremely stuck. I have great work life balance but that’s it. My girlfriend is on track to make good money. She has an advanced diploma in civil engineering and a degree. She’s a few years younger than I am. But her starting wage is 90k a year. She’s trying to get me to go back to school but I’m extremely conflicted. I can’t leave my current job to go to school full time when I’m already living paycheck to pay heck. After my monthly expenses I quite literally am in the negatives.
Rent is $1000/ month Insurance: 300/ month Car payment: 300/ month Gas: 250/ month Groceries: 300/ month Phone: $100/ month Previous student loans: 100/ month
I was looking at going back to school part time to secure something that I can put to use. But because I never was interested in a trade. I don’t have the pre-requisites to get in. So I’m upgrading my courses this summer to hopefully start in the Fall.
That being said, I’m discouraged. I’ll have to take as many classes as possible while working. And because I refuse to quit my job, OSAP is only funding me 1000$ per year of grants towards my 7k tuition and the rest are loans. . I’m debating on just quitting while I’m ahead. But I know that if I do, that’s it for me. I have zero credentials to make any career moves. And I’ll be stuck in this position forever, hoping that my union continues to increase my wages every 4 years once things get renegotiaged.
So I’m looking for advice … what do I do? Do I take the loans and hope for the best with school? Even if I do school, there’s zero guarantee that the class schedules will align with my work schedule. So there’s a big chance that even if I start and get through semester 1, then semester 2 I’ll be stuck until they offer me a class that runs before I start work in the afternoon.
My girlfriend told me to quit and focus on school. Get as much done as I can in 4 years then start a more rewarding career that can support us. I think it’s easy for her to suggest because that’s what she did. She quit her corporate job and went to school for 5 years to get ahead. But I can’t quit my job to go to school, take on loans without a job offer once I’m finished. She says I can’t get a job offer without taking the jump of doing school, doing a work placement and building a network to be offered work once schools done. But that’s too much of a risk for me. And this is what frustrates her because she explains there’s no reward without risk. But I have to support myself at the end of the day.
What do I do? Can someone tell me what I should be doing moving forward.
I’d also like to add that all my friends have established careers. Making 150k a year and buying homes and starting families. I won’t be able to do that if I stay with this job. My gf will be the breadwinner which I’m ok with but she’s not too thrilled.
Oh and right now we get a dollar raise per year until our union contract is renewed. So in the next 3 years I’ll be making 34$ an hour. I tell my gf to wait because that’s good money. But she says by the time 3 years comes, our dollar won’t be anything and we will be in the same place.

To try and avoid a TLDR, I’ll keep this as short and concise as possible. I received two job offers that are both great. Recruiters contacted me on both positions. Curious as to any feedback that could be provided.
Current role: Finance Manager - FP&A. Former plant controller at same company. Comp: $117.5K + 15% bonus (TC $137.5K). Counteroffer was to bump me to $125K + 25% ($156K TC). Good benefits, Match is 6% on 401K, HDHP with HSA available. Employer provides a contribution. Industry is manufacturing of consumer retail products. Purchased by PE firm in 2022 (family owned for 100+ years prior), name of the game is now cut cut cut. Cost cut after cost cut + headcount reductions. Stagnant growth.
Offer 1: Finance Manager. Comp $150K + 20% bonus (TC $180K). Local, same commute time essentially. Also manufacturing, consumer products, consumer staples industry’s Relatively newer, started 2019 but stable company. $5,000 sign-on. Eligible for all benefits after 30 days (health insurance, 401K, etc). Match is 6% on 401K, HDHP with HSA available. Employer provides a contribution as well. Role is newly created to support continued growth. New CFO started 6 months ago, former CFO experience at large global company.
Offer 2: Director of Finance - FP&A. Comp is 160K + 15% bonus (TC $184K). Industry is more service based related to home services. Company started 2016. Revenue has doubled since 2020 to about $1B. Acquired by PE firm. CFO also new, previous IPO experience, brought in by PE firm. Role also newly created to support growth. Eligible for health/dental benefits after 60 days. No HDHP, no HSA. No 401K or match for 1 year. After Yr 1, match is 4%.
Additionally, relocation required to east coast. Company will pay, I have to provide quotes and receive lump sum amount. Offer 2 has an equity based incentive - SARs (stock appreciation rights, not physical shares). 40% time based of 5 years, 60% based on a sale or IPO. They say that the company plans to sell in 3-5 years, potential IPO, but leaning that sale is healthier at this time for the company. Target SAR payout if they hit their goal is $237.5K (pre-tax). Minimum target has to be met or no payout. If no sale, or if I leave beforehand, I’m only eligible for the 40%. Knowing PE, I would say it’s more toward 5 years.
Struggling with which offer makes sense. I’m age 30, married with toddler and newborn. Most of our family is “nearby”, so to speak. No family east coast. Most social circles are here, but we could always develop new ones. I relocated for a plant controller role in 2020 to east coast. Relocated back to Southwest region for new role in May 2022, which is where I started with the current company. So I’d be moving family again to take new role. 3rd move in 4 years. Reason to move would really only be the equity incentive, IMO. I believe I could find a director role here with my background if I really started looking, and that potential exists at offer 1, as well, once I’m in the door.
Total comp is less than $5K different, and offer 1 has better benefits that essentially outweigh the comp difference. No 401K for one year of offer 2 stings. Health insurance will run me about $5K more/year at offer 2 and no HSA. Also, offer 1 provides non-prorated bonus of 20% for 2024, offer 2 will be prorated, so would be 1/2 for 2024 (so 7.5%).
Is it just me, or does it seem like for role and location, the salary difference is not significant enough to move across the country? Would you chase the equity incentive and title? Is $10K more base for director vs manager enough? Any additional thoughts?
Thanks for your time and feedback

Even if I type in the exact spelling, I get results that also start with those letters. So for example if I am searching for a last name of "Frank", the results come back with "Franks", "Franklin", "Frankenberg", etc. I don't want those and would prefer to eliminate them in my search. I've tried putting it in quotes but that didn't change the results.

Hello! I am still newish to romance books and this group seems to be a treasure trove of info and recommendations! I would love to have a list of books to listen to, specifically if they’re available on Libby, Hoopla, or Scribd. Below is a list of stuff I do and don’t prefer. Thanks so much to any of you who have time to throw out some suggestions!
Likes:

• Good plot. Closed door is fine as long as the plot is good! I don’t mind explicit content at all but I want a good story. (Examples: I’ve really liked the Lady Sherlock series so far- it is the slowest of burns but the plots are entertaining! I also have enjoyed the Outlander series for the most part, though the SA content goes too far for me at points. IYKYK. Also enjoyed Into the Wilderness by Sara Donati)

-Competency(?) I have seen people post about “competency kink” and that’s definitely the type of characters I like. For MMC and FMC. I like people who know how to handle things. I just listened to Devil In Winter by Lisa Kleypas and while I didn’t love the MCs, I really liked the Cam Rohan character bc he seems like he knows how to do stuff. And he’s a little cheeky.)
-Strong female leads. I feel like most romance books have these though bc who doesn’t love em??
-Marriage of convenience can be fun as long as it doesn’t stay that way
-Some level of adventure

• I’ve listened to some of Alice Coldbreath’s prizefighter books and I enjoyed the characters working together to do regular life stuff, run an inn, etc.

Dislikes:
-Super alpha sex god dudes. Rakes.
-Non-con. Just not into it, though I get the appeal. I have a hard time enjoying things in books that I wouldn’t like IRL.
-Don’t really like Duke type stories unless the Duke is more interesting than just being rakish and horny. (Maybe an unfair generalization but I haven’t read very many books yet) I want MMCs to be competent and intelligent, not just horny lol! (For example I didn’t like Sebastian from Devil in Winter, just not the vibe for me!)
-Miscommunication tropes
-Bad narrators
If you read all of this, I thank you!

I went under contract for a condo in Austin last week. I paid $3,055 in option money, which my realtor reassured me would be refundable as long as I pulled out before the end of the option period ended on 3/10. After the inspection revealed some issues with hot water and washedryer hookups (two non-negotiables for me), I asked my agent if she could try to negotiate more time so that I could get a quote from an electrician and plumber.
The sellers agreed to a 1 day extension for the option period and on 5/9 I signed an amendment stating that I would pay $1 of additional option money to extend the period through 5pm in 5/11. But then on 5/11 I told my realtor I couldn’t move forward given the risks, and she sent me two documents to sign: a contract termination letter and the release of earnest money letter. I signed both immediately on 5/11.
Today I received an email from the title company reminding me to pay the $1, to which I responded saying something like “oh you must not have heard that I terminated the deal. Let me know when I can get my $3k back!”. Almost immediately thereafter, my agent’s assistant emailed me telling me to pay ASAP. So I did, to cover my bases, but then inquired about why it was required even after the termination.
Fast forward to now, I’ve come to find out that the term was never counter-signed by the seller. The selling agent said they were “waiting on my $1 in option money” and therefore the seller is entitled to keep my initial $3k payment.
My agent never told me to pay the $1 in the first place and never indicated that the termination was not valid until we received counter signature. But now I am panicking that the selling agent is right, the term didn’t go through, and I lose half of my down payment.
Is this on me? Is there anything I can do to get the money back? Who should I be mad at? Help!!!

Looking basically for a card to use for a few larger upfront purchases that I may need to pay off over the first few months, so a 0% intro rate and ideally a nice SUB for say an estimated $1000 purchases over a couple months, likely used mainly for hotel stays and food/gas while on the road.
CREDIT PROFILE Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of: - Aadvantage Aviator Red Mastercard- $13,350 limit, opened 1/2014 - Blue from American Express- $5,600 limit, opened - Amazon Prime Visa (Chase)- $2,400 limit, opened - Chase Freedom- $3,300 limit, opened

• FICO Scores with source: Experian 815, Trans Union 793
  
  • Oldest credit card account age with you as primary name on the account: Chase Freedom 2006
• Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 0/0
  
  • Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 0/0
  • Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 0/0
  • Annual income $: 60K, though this could change slightly (possibly going down) with an upcoming move and trying to change fields
  CATEGORIES - Dining: ~$100 (high estimate) - Groceries: ~$ 500 (high estimate) - Gas: ~$75 (high estimate) - Travel: ~$300 hotels (one time occurrence during move), ~$300 airlines (not even sure if this will happen any time remotely soon) - Do you plan on using this card abroad for a significant length of time (study abroad, digital nomad, expat, extended travel)?: no - Any other categories (examples: phone/internet, insurance) or stores (example: Amazon) with significant, regular credit card spend (the more you specify, the better): currently health related costs $400/mth - Any other significant, regular credit card spend you didn't include above?: no - Can you pay rent by credit card? If yes, list rent amount and if there's a fee for paying by credit card: no
  

MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS (delete lines that don't apply) PURPOSE - OK with category-specific cards?: No - OK with rotating category cards?: No
● * Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card. - Current member of Amazon Prime?: 16.23/mth but that goes on my amazon card - $11.85 for spotify & hulu bundle - Are you open to Business Cards?: no
● * What's the purpose of your next card (choose ONE)?: (first credit card, balance transfer, saving money, travel rewards) - mostly travel rewards/emergency card - If you answered "travel rewards", do you have a preferred airline and/or hotel chain? I have an american airlines card, so I typically use that, no preferred hotel chains other than more budget friendly brands ● * Do you have any cards you've been looking at? - Credit Karma recommended and stated I have good odds for Discover It Cash Back, Capital One VentureOne Rewards, Apple Card. Mostly looking for 0% intro rate for ideally 15 months and no AF

so this past week i’ve just quit putting up with the bs ppl have given us and started to tell ppl how it is, respectfully tho.

1. the first person called bc they wanted their allegra d 12 our prescription to be filled bc they’ve tried for two weeks and we haven’t been able to. i checked their profile and it said “pending inventory” so i went over to check and we didn’t have any. so i asked the pharmacist if we have had it recently since this person has been waiting for two weeks.

the pharmacist said the warehouse has been refusing to send it, and we checked and no pharmacy that’s part of our chain has it in a 20+ mile radius.
i got back and told the patient and they went into hysterics and i told them, “i’m very sorry, but the warehouse has not sent in any, and we’ve requested it multiple times. no pharmacy in 3 letter has it in a 20+ mile radius. i have no control over the warehouse deciding to send us medication or not.”
the patient then said, “so you can’t just give me a partial fill?” and i said, “no, we don’t have any i’m sorry” and then patient said, “oh so what am i supposed to do now? die?” i said, “you’re not going to die without allegra d, but you can call another pharmacy and ask if they have it if you really need it. or you could go up to a different pharmacy and buy it.” 10 minutes later we got a call from wags saying they need us to fax over the persons prescriptions for a transfer.

1. someone calls asking for a prescription to be filled and i checked and they needed a PA, i said, “i’m sorry, your insurance needs more information from your doctor we are waiting for your doctor to send in a PA.”

the patient said, “no, my doctor sent in the prescription so no one needs any information from them now fill it.” i then said, “i don’t need anything, your insurance needs information from your doctor, so you will have to call your doctor or insurance and talk to them. it takes 3 days typically for a PA to go through as well.”
the patient then said, “again, neither you or the insurance needs anything from my doctor, MY DOCTOR SENT IN THE PRESCRIPTION!!” i said, “im sorry you need to tell your insurance that, not me. you can call your doctor and ask them about it. a lot of people need prior authorizations.” they then said, “that’s it i’m going to wags they will never have this problem!!” and i said, “okay that’s fine.” and hung up.
5 minutes later wags calls for their prescriptions to be faxed over. and yes, ik wags will need a pa but i was just glad to see this person to go.

1. patient calls saying it’s ridiculous they have to pay $1 for their prescription and ask if it’s ran through their insurance. i said, “yes, and it shows you’ve always paid $1 for this medication.” the patient says, “no, i never pay, i have insurance and that’s what insurance is for, are you dumb?” i said, “no, i’m not dumb, a lot of people’s insurance doesn’t make their medication completely free.” they then said, “nooo no no, that’s not how insurance works. i’ve had insurance my whole life, and once you have it you don’t pay for anything! i’m going to grocery store pharmacy, they’ll never make me pay!!” and a few minutes later they were transferred

I was with my ex for a year before he broke up with me. Mine F (22) and he’s M (24). During our honeymoon stage we was so in love and enjoyed each other company. We met in late November and we were friends with benefits. We use to hang iut together. We use to sleep in my car to be together. No clothes and just a blanket. We didn’t care as long as we had each other. We were fine. When we were together we didn’t see no one but each other. I got pregnant in December and got a abortion in march. We already had a kid on the way and he wasn’t ready to have another one. He didn’t have a car, he worked at food lion, he had a apartment, and he didn’t have much. I didn’t want to the abortion but it was the best decision at the time for us. I use to help him get his son and pick me up. I picked him up from work, pick him uo from interviews, helped him get a new phone when his old ine got messed up. I always helped him out in anyway and form. This was in the beginning of 2022.
We moved from the situation. We talked about it and were happy. We moved in together in October 2022. It was the worst and happiest decision ever. The beginning was fun. We stayed up late and watched movies. We did normal young couple stuff. I loved it because i got to be around him 24/7 with no one else beside his son. We were a little family. He would go out with his friends but he would always come back home late. He would always be the designated driver when they go out. None of his friends had a car so they used him. I didn’t like it and I told him I didn’t, they used him when it benefit them. He always worked overtime and was always at work to provide for us. I was conplain about us spending some time together like on the weekends but he was too tired from work and he would rather hang out with his friends. This went on for months. He invited people over who I didn’t know and he didn’t tell me. When he went on a trip to Atlanta, he needed helped getting back. His friends that were in his car didn’t have money and therir parents didn’t give him money for gas. He called me and told me to give him $100 dollars to get home. We started to fuss. I told him i’m not there to help him and he need to figure it out his self. He got mad and started to get loud at me about the money. I understand he was stressed and pissed about it but i gave him money to get there for gas and food and i gave him some money before he left. He should’ve had enough money. When i went on my trip he didn’t give me no money.
My birthday last year he broke up with me over stupid stuff. He layed around on my birthday and didn’t care. He got mad about it. I took him out and went to cheddars and I paid for it. I cried in the restaurant. He lied multiple times about why he did it. I cried for the whole month of august because i felt like i was not good enough for him. He went out every weekend with friends and ignored me. He only used me for sex. I cried to him and he looked at me like i was stupid and i made him bored. I was unhappy that whole month but he didn’t care. I went on a trip with my family, I was miserable but I faked it for my fmaily. He was out with friends when i was gone. He didn’t care. We were broken up for 2 weeks. He tried to get back with me but i said no. We got back together so way.
I got pregnant in October of 2023. He was unhappy about the baby. He wasn’t ready. He said he wanted to travel, get a house, build his self, grow and more. I was sad because i knew what he wanted me to do. He told me he wanted me to get a abortion. My last abortion made me depressed and sad. I got tired of it. Our lease was ending in November 2023. We both went back home. I was pregnant and emotionally. I needed him.
For two moths we were happy and excited to grow our family. We still had problems. He still went out with his friends. He went out with some girl and her mom to get me a Christmas. He never got me nothing. The last gift he got me was valentines day in 2022. He came to my house, I was mad. I told him i didn’t like her and that he need to stop talking to her. I told him, she likes him but he didn’t believe me. He said that’s his friend. One day she facetime him when he was getting a haircut. I ignored it but i thought about answering. I never trusted their relationship there. I still don’t.
Christmas eve, we was going out to eat. We came to my house to chill. I got out the care i felt like it was my time of the mont. I looked down and saw blood. I got scared and told my family. They told us to go to the hospital to see what’s going on. We went and waited for hours. I was scared but i tried not to show it. I knew it wasn’t normal to bleed when your pregnant. Wewent to get a ultrasound and the whole time i was scared. My boyfriend at the time cane with me (my ex). She didn’t say nothing when checking my baby. But at the end of the ultrasound she said she was fine and healthy. I was happy. Then we went to a room to talk to a doctor. They thought I had something so they gave me medicine for it but I was worried about the blood. But they said it would go away on its on. We were the last people to leave the hospital and we were tired.
For about a whole week of Christmas week, I bled. I was worried because it lasted too long. I told my family about my concerns. I couldn’t go see a doctor because of christmas and every one was out of work.
My boyfriend ( my ex) took me out for new years eve, we went to juicy crab. We fussed a little about dumb stuff. After he drop me off, he went to a party with friends. I just wanted to spend time with him. We didn’t live together anymore and i missed him. The next day I felt like i was in intense pain. It felt like i was on my period. It started at 6 in the morning and it lasted all day. I was throwing up and bleeding. I called my then boyfriend to come get me. He called the ambulance. He saw my bathroom and he was terrified. I felt weak and i could barely keep my eyes open.
I was still in pain when i got to the hospital. My family came to check up on me. I was too weak to care about my self and in pain to focus. They told me, my baby was trying to come out early. I was having a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for 5 days. I lost my baby girl on the third day. I was sad and i just wanted my boyfriend. He only came two days. He would go to work and then come stay the night with me. He still didn’t have a car. I cried every night when left alone. My mom kept me company when he wasn’t there. He called and texted me through out the day when he was at work. My last day at the hospital, i was ready to go home and get in my own bed. He didn’t text or called me on my last day. I had to tell his friend i was leaving the hospital to tell him. I felt sad because my boyfriend didn’t care about me or was checking up on me. We fussed about him not being there with me. He got mad that i didn’t let him drive my car to get to work and come see me at night. My parents would’ve fussed me out if i gave him my car to use. They told me not to give him my car.
That Saturday he was acting weird to me. He didn’t text or call me. He went out with friends to look at apartments a hour away. He didn’t tell me until the day of. We had two plan to when he have out baby girl. The first one was to move to raleigh and the second one was to wait until she was one to be able to talk and walk to move to raleigh. And we wanted her to be around family. I didn’t know he was still planning to move after everything. He was moving with his friends. I was sad he was moving on. I always got jealous when he would bond with his son. Everytime he was around me, he would call him friends to talk about the big move and what they was going to do. I cried because he didn’t care about me or my baby, he was moving on. It hurt that he never consider my feelings about everything and how i felt about it.
For three months, he treated me like shit. He would ignore my call and text messages. He acted like I didn’t exist. But he still would keep me around to use me to help him out. Helped him get to Raleigh to help his brother with his moving company, help him to get to work and more. I felt alone and depressed. I was going through postpartum. I wrote him a letter about everything from us to our baby girl. He didn’t acre about it. It took him a 2 week to read. I just wanted him to hold me and tell him everything was going to be alright. Everytime he was around me he jsut wanted sex. I took him to Raleigh to look at cars for him. He saw car he wnated and it was his dream car. A 2021 dodge charger. He only had $1,000 in his saving. Because he spent most of his saving trying to fix his other car that his friend he stayed with messed up. They wanted him to put down more on it. He looked at me and asked could i put down $650. I didn’t wnat to help him becashe never helped me and he treate me like shit after i lost our baby. Eventually i said yes i would put the money down to get the car. He needed insurance to get the car too so i put him on mines. I did too much for him. His birthday was days before he got his car. He was happy and i was happy to see i caused it. We just losted our baby so we both were going through it.
He posted on facebook and instagram like i wasn’t there or helped him get the car. I was mad because he didn’t acknowledge me or anything. But quick to act like he got it on his own. I loved him to death. He still treated me like shit afterwards. He didn’t care. He just used me. He was suppose to help me pay for my lawyer but he only gave me $200. My lawyer fees in total cost was $750. I paid all of it by myself. He still haven’t paid me.
Now he talking to different girls and partying. That’s what he wanted from the beginning. He was never ready to have a family with me. He still lie to me and tell me he see his self with me. and that he doesn’t care about me. I hide all our pictures and I delete our text messages. Everything felt like a lie with him. Nothing felt true or real.
I don’t want to get my feelings evolved with another person to hurt me emotionally. I don’t want to feel the same way i did with him for the past 8 months. I wasn’t myself. I don’t love him the same or see him as my lover. He feel like a stranger in his body. I still wanted us to start over and have a better start in life. I miss him and love him still. But i’m not going to wait around for him to come back to me.

New player here (~50 hours into the game), I've been playing this game on and off for a couple weeks and I have tried some of the weapons but why does every primary or secondary feel really unreliable or unfun to use.
I get it, we are humans on a alien planet killing clankers or bugs but still, does it needs to be this hard? I'm not even sure what to use, currently I'm using Breaker since I think its damage and firerate is reasonable but the mag size is too small.
You would think that Super Earth provided better guns and that we didn't need a strategem for one measly patrol. Jumpack seems okay in some situations but most of the time the jump is non existent and the length you travel in "air" is not pleasing. These are just a few examples to give you a perspective.
Maybe I'm getting all this wrong as I'm not that experienced and I want to be in the wrong here but I think a lot of things need to be re-balanced and more fun? I really enjoy this game to play with my friends and I think it will be a blast when devs polish this gem some more!

TL;DR: ^{Struggled with social interactions, obsessive tendencies, and learning difficulties throughout life. Diagnosed with multiple conditions including Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2 and anxiety disorders. Unemployed since 2019, unable to find accommodating work due to conditions. Considering applying for disability benefits but unsure of eligibility. Feeling lost and overwhelmed.}
My whole life I've had a hard time relating with people, connecting with people, making eye contact, enjoying the same things as others. I always tended to obsess on something for example if I took a part-time job I would burn myself out because I couldn't help but focus on work after work. To the point I'd break rules to login to resources and do research off the clock, resulting in me being fired.
When I was a child I would be more excited about the box the gift came in that I could hide in from everyone, instead of the gift itself. I didn't ever like parties with lots of kids, I would tend to hide until the party was over and call my mom until she came and picked me up. I couldn't handle kids tapping pencils in the class so my teacher would put me in the hallway, this to me was a treat not a punishment. I don't like making eye contact it feels really weird and I'm not good at it. When I practiced it someone said I creeped them out because I would just stare straight into their eyes without breaking contact like normal so I just avoid it altogether.
Anyhow a lot of these issues I adapted to pretty decently until I turned 30 and realized the stuff wasn't improving even with a few years of weekly therapy sessions with 2 different psychotherapists. Always struggled with panic attacks and chronic anxiety. I also have never been able to learn math equasions for example x = y type stuff. My brain goes "Why is a letter in math" and I used to read and write backwards.
I recently got engaged and my FIance after spending 8 months with me said she thinks somethings off, "No offense". None taken.. Anyways.. I saw a top psychologist in my state and spent a few hours on a few different occasions with them. Took some tests and they told me I have:

• Schizotypal Personality Disorder
• Mathematics Learning Disability
• Post Concussion Syndrome (Severe TBI in a motor vehicle accident 2013)
• Panic Disorder
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
• Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2

I know it's a laundry list. I have been unemployed since 2019 I only am able to work side jobs anymore. I just have constant panic attacks that have been unmanaged with medications and psychotherapy so I actually quit going to therapy and seeing a shrink. Therefor I only have 12 work credits on my record which I've read some of those fall off every 5 years.
I'm just wondering, do I even have a chance in hell at applying for SSI/SSDI or any type of assistance or am I going to have to try and find a job that will accomodate me or something? I have yet to find one of those by the way. I am very forthcoming with my conditions and typically this results in no hire. I have applied for over 100 jobs since 2019. I've heard back from a dozen or so, and the rest just likely throw my application in the trash.
I don't understand anything about disability or social security and my mom has told me I need to try and apply for benefits. Is it worth my time at all having only 12 work credits? Am I even eligible for SSI or SSDI? I don't know what to do anymore I'm feeling kinda depressed now because I have lived my whole life in a lie it feels like. I have had to always do things that "normal" people do and it has ground me into the dirt. I was very lucky to meet my fiancee online and we ended up talking for a few months before meeting in person. SHe loves me to death, I love her very much too although it took me a long time to learn what I was actually feeling and learn how to commit myself and be a good Fiance.
I just don't know anymore what to do, where to turn, who to ask.. Thank you.
p.s My mother never took me to a doctor even though family and friends of hers always told her something was wrong with me and that she needed to. My aunt used to tell her I had asperger's or something. She was afraid they'd medicate me. I kinda got screwed in that sense now that I am learning more about this process..

Side/main character additions for my book Anastasius!
Hello everyone! I’m running something for my book that I’m sure you’ll enjoy! I’m writing a book titled Anastasius which is Greek for Renewal. But I was thinking of a fun way to raise money for the book and a fun way to interact with potential readers! So I was thinking, if I give the characters who will be in my book, perhaps there could be a fundraiser for this! It will be $10 USD per character and there is no limit to how many characters you’d like! I’ll post the sheet for each character and you can pick and choose which tribe you’d like create your own character! If you have anymore questions I’ll be happy to answer! I take payments through PayPal as it’s the only thing I understand how to use!
Creatures of Renewal:
As written by Wyvern Scholars
Amphiptere:
Amphipteres generally were said to have light-colored feathers like a sunrise, a serpentine body, bat-like wings with feathers covering most of the forearm and often greenish in coloration, and a long tail much like a wyvern's tail. Others are described as covered in feathers with a spiked tail, bird-like wings, and a beak-like snout.
These small dragons are known to go after smaller prey like rodents and birds, as their habitatsavanna's heat, leavingrests. However, large colonies have been known to live in constructed settlements. Still, any knowledge of a leader has yet to be discovered. It has been rumored that the Amphiptere changes leaders when either the current one dies or willingly gives up the position of tribal leader.
Habitat: Forests, Jungles, or the forested remnants of human cities.
Arctic Dragon:
These giant, wooly dragons stand five feet taller than the most significant polar bears; their powerful muscles and jet-black skin under their blueish-white fur dominate most northern regions. Human settlements are where they prowl, waiting for humans hidden in these desolate territories for the perfect time to strike. These areas are far too cold for most dragons. Still, the Arctic dragon has adapted to survive in these brutal conditions. However, females only move southwards when their young are ready to be born. Once the younglings are old enough to walk short distances independently, the mother and cub begin trekking back toward the tundra.
Diet: These dragons hunt down various arctic prey, ranging from the smallest Arctic hares to the giant whales. Anything these dragons can get their talons on is food to them. Although young Arctic dragons do not have the speed or endurance their parents have, they rely on their parents to bring them back something they can eat.
Coatyl: The most noticeable feature of Coatyls is the feathered wings. These wings comprise a humerus connected to a radius and an ulna connected to metacarpals. The wings of a Coatyl allow it to fly, which is the primary method of locomotion. In unbonded Coatyls, the scapulars and front feathers are dark green, the covert feathers are light yellow or tan, and the primary and secondary flight feathers are red. Coatyls have pressurized sacs in the back of the mouth of a highly volatile and slightly acidic chemical known as coatalic acid. When threatened, muscles surrounding these sacs contract, pushing the coatalic acid out of small holes in the mouth and spraying it. When it comes into contact with air, coatalic acid undergoes a chemical reaction that causes it to ignite and become highly adhesive, sticking to whatever it lands on.
Diet: Coatyls primarily prey on small rodents like mice or rats. Coatyls cannot bite or tear their food to pieces, so they instead swallow their prey whole. They can do this as the upper and lower jaws of a Coatyl are not rigidly attached and have multiple joints, allowing them to open their mouths wide enough to swallow prey whole. While digesting food, Coatyls will typically avoid trying to fly and will instead travel along the ground.
Habitat: These dragons are usually found in the same territories as the Amphiptere. However, these Coatyls have been seen further south in the rainforests due to being more of a tropical species. Their size makes them easy prey for larger animals if they are not careful.
Dragon:
The Western European kind, with four legs, two wings, and (usually) fiery breath. Depending on how the work classifies things, these may be the only ones called "dragons." Otherwise, they're typically called authentic, Western, or European dragons. The Western dragon tends to be massive and heavy, with sharp claws and bat-like wings. They are usually with reptile features but may also have fur or feathers. Sometimes dark colored but always shiny. Some have forked tongues, others crests, fringes, or some other adornment. It always has the ability to spew forth blazing fire and fumes. In the West, dragons live in caves or mountain dwellers and predators. Cave dweller dragons stay in the coldness of the dark most of the time. The caves, filled with fire and water, are easily guarded and located close to towns, where food is convenient. Mountain predators live in cave-riddled mountains that provide an invincible tower and protection.
Diet: Western dragons tend to be considered carnivores. They like meat, flesh, and blood as their primary food source and are too fussy about the source. Sheep, cows, oxen, lions, elephants, or even humans, anything of a reasonable size and with warm blood and flesh to feast on, are their primary food sources. However, dragons haven’t shown a preference for the age or gender of humans. One interesting thing to note is that although they eat the flesh, they have a particular taste for blood. Sometimes, when in need of a quick burst of energy, they will only drink the blood of their prey and leave the flesh. This is seen as barbaric by most other species of dragons. Still, with western dragons being the second largest species, we tend not to mess with them and their dietary habits.
Drake: The drake is a dragon with four limbs, much like a lizard, although usually far more significant in size than the average lizard. A potent example of a drake in the natural world is the Komodo Dragon, a large species of minotaur lizard in Indonesia. These creatures have low-slung bodies, like crocodiles and alligators, with bellies across the ground. However, due to their natural habitat and human greed, wild drakes have been increasingly difficult to get notes from and other scholars to talk with. Drakes who are found are highly hostile and not open much to talking, but with enough food and gold, these dragons could easily talk your ear off.
Diet: These family-oriented dragons hunt together in packs; their size and numbers are easily strong enough to take down small herds of water buffalo, wildebeests, elk, and moose.
Feydragons: These dragons are about the size of a cat, each having an iridescent coat of scales that reflected all colors of the rainbow, predominantly reflecting one particular color, which changed with age. They had a long, prehensile tail and platinum-colored, butterfly-like wings. Like true dragons, faerie dragons grew stronger with age but matured much more quickly and lived shorter lives. Because their predominant scale hue ran the colors of the rainbow over their lifetime, their color directly indicated their age and power. The scales of a young hatchling were almost always red, and those of a fully mature dragon (over 50 years old) were violet. Most dragons leave these small ones alone because it is not worth expending calories to catch these little critters. But these small dragons are known across the globe for their beautiful woven tapestries and the symphonies they create with their wings.
Diet: Their diet mainly consists of small bugs caught in the air, from trees and bushes, and off the ground. They also fed on fruits, berries, nectar, and butterflies, which they ate to get the color and look of their wings.
Sea Orc: A Sea Orc has no arms or legs. It sports fins on the top portion and every few meters across its body, including one long fin that runs from the bottom of its head to its tail. A Sea Orc has little in the way of bones; it slithers through the waters like a snake. This assists the Sea Orc in attacking its prey. Sea Orc eggs cannot be fertilized in deep water, and smaller Sea Orcs cannot survive the pressure. Adult Sea Orcs have to head to shallower waters to mate. It is believed that the Sea Orc typically goes to warmer climates for mating.
Female Sea Orcs lay their eggs at the shoreline, close enough to the surface to be safe from the environmental killers but far enough from the water line that the parents can still protect their offspring. The eggs will grow for several months and will be born after size months.
Diet: These massive beasts eat mostly fish and aquatic life, anything they can catch; on rare occasions, they will eat a dragon, but that only happens when a rowdy juvenile dragon decides to go after a Sea Orcs calf.
Wyvern: The Wyvern is about the same size as the Arctic dragon, though in weight, they are closer to their brother, the Drake. The Wyvern is a two-legged dragon with two wings. They are believed to be faster than the more enormous Dragon. Their head is large and round, and they have a more petite mouth than most dragons. The body is thick but with a soft underbelly. The tail of the Wyvern is the most deadly. It is long serpentlike with a large mass at the end. They can also have a load of spikes within the ball or a significant spike at the top. The Wyvern uses this ball as its primary weapon, capable of smashing through most creatures, including other dragon's scales.
For its size, the Wyvern holds a large amount of weight. Most of this weight is within its thick scales. Anyone who has fought a Wyvern will inform you that getting through their body is next to impossible. The scales overlap several times, and underneath them is a thin net of tissue that absorbs impact and is resistant to being cut.
Diet: Moose, Elk, and Caribou are everyday staples of a wyvern diet, although anything that moves fits the wyvern needs as they have to eat at least 400 pounds of food every three days.
Humans: Not much is left from humans after they destroyed themselves; greed took out most of them, and the explosions hurt the rest. Humans have flocked to their caves deep in the ground. Most dragons leave humans alone, but humans have tried to take back their world a few times, but us dragons have quickly stamped out those little uprisings. Although some dragons keep humans as pets, their crafty little grabbers are relatively good at crafting the little things they need. Some dragons keep them for wealth status, and others just eat them for a rare treat.
Prey animals: Not much needs to be said here; anything a dragon can catch and eat is a prey animal.

My wife was recently served (not properly I might add, the plaintiff left the summons taped to my door when I wasn’t home) and in technical terms the case has almost nothing to do with her. She has a friend who recently traveled to the U.S and was looking for a car something cheap and reliable to use to get around so I told my wife to offer her my spare car as I was looking to get rid of it anyways. Fast forward we agreed to a price on the car and she asked me if I could give it to her in the best condition possible so I got the oil changed, changed the engine coolant, got the car state inspected and did the repairs on what it did not pass on & was ready to give the car to her. we made a deal that she would pay me $2,500 upfront and $500 on monthly installments, she paid me the $2,500 and signed document agreeing to the non refundable $2500 down payment & $500.00 monthly Installments or she would give me the car back should she not make those payments. now because she did not have a drivers license (seeing as she is new to the U.S) she decided to register the car in her boyfriends name or her boyfriends mom and that the car would be registered in their name so I had the boyfriend and the mother sign the same document agreeing to the same terms.
once they made their way to the MVA (DMV for those outside Maryland Virginia area) they were not able to register the car because they both had flags on their licenses for not having insurance for previous vehicles, rather then taking care of the issue she told my wife that she didn’t want the car and demanded her money back. I told my wife under no circumstances would I do that because of the time and money I had already put into the car to get it prepared for her. she gave my wife the keys and the title back saying she doesn’t want it anymore because she cannot register the car. now aside from the who’s right or wrong in this situation I prefer the courts to decide.
my main question is what should I do being that my wife was served and the car does not belong to her nor do the documents that were signed do not have their name on them and the funds were given to me & not to her?
Any advice would be great, this is my first reddit post ever btw, thank you to anyone in advance!

Hello everyone! I’m running something for my book that I’m sure you’ll enjoy! I’m writing a book titled Anastasius which is Greek for Renewal. But I was thinking of a fun way to raise money for the book and a fun way to interact with potential readers! So I was thinking, if I give the characters who will be in my book, perhaps there could be a fundraiser for this! It will be $10 USD per character and there is no limit to how many characters you’d like! I’ll post the sheet for each character and you can pick and choose which tribe you’d like create your own character! If you have anymore questions I’ll be happy to answer! I take payments through PayPal as it’s the only thing I understand how to use!
Creatures of Renewal:
As written by Wyvern Scholars
Amphiptere:
Amphipteres generally were said to have light-colored feathers like a sunrise, a serpentine body, bat-like wings with feathers covering most of the forearm and often greenish in coloration, and a long tail much like a wyvern's tail. Others are described as covered in feathers with a spiked tail, bird-like wings, and a beak-like snout.
These small dragons are known to go after smaller prey like rodents and birds, as their habitatsavanna's heat, leavingrests. However, large colonies have been known to live in constructed settlements. Still, any knowledge of a leader has yet to be discovered. It has been rumored that the Amphiptere changes leaders when either the current one dies or willingly gives up the position of tribal leader.
Habitat: Forests, Jungles, or the forested remnants of human cities.
Arctic Dragon:
These giant, wooly dragons stand five feet taller than the most significant polar bears; their powerful muscles and jet-black skin under their blueish-white fur dominate most northern regions. Human settlements are where they prowl, waiting for humans hidden in these desolate territories for the perfect time to strike. These areas are far too cold for most dragons. Still, the Arctic dragon has adapted to survive in these brutal conditions. However, females only move southwards when their young are ready to be born. Once the younglings are old enough to walk short distances independently, the mother and cub begin trekking back toward the tundra.
Diet: These dragons hunt down various arctic prey, ranging from the smallest Arctic hares to the giant whales. Anything these dragons can get their talons on is food to them. Although young Arctic dragons do not have the speed or endurance their parents have, they rely on their parents to bring them back something they can eat.
Coatyl: The most noticeable feature of Coatyls is the feathered wings. These wings comprise a humerus connected to a radius and an ulna connected to metacarpals. The wings of a Coatyl allow it to fly, which is the primary method of locomotion. In unbonded Coatyls, the scapulars and front feathers are dark green, the covert feathers are light yellow or tan, and the primary and secondary flight feathers are red. Coatyls have pressurized sacs in the back of the mouth of a highly volatile and slightly acidic chemical known as coatalic acid. When threatened, muscles surrounding these sacs contract, pushing the coatalic acid out of small holes in the mouth and spraying it. When it comes into contact with air, coatalic acid undergoes a chemical reaction that causes it to ignite and become highly adhesive, sticking to whatever it lands on.
Diet: Coatyls primarily prey on small rodents like mice or rats. Coatyls cannot bite or tear their food to pieces, so they instead swallow their prey whole. They can do this as the upper and lower jaws of a Coatyl are not rigidly attached and have multiple joints, allowing them to open their mouths wide enough to swallow prey whole. While digesting food, Coatyls will typically avoid trying to fly and will instead travel along the ground.
Habitat: These dragons are usually found in the same territories as the Amphiptere. However, these Coatyls have been seen further south in the rainforests due to being more of a tropical species. Their size makes them easy prey for larger animals if they are not careful.
Dragon:
The Western European kind, with four legs, two wings, and (usually) fiery breath. Depending on how the work classifies things, these may be the only ones called "dragons." Otherwise, they're typically called authentic, Western, or European dragons. The Western dragon tends to be massive and heavy, with sharp claws and bat-like wings. They are usually with reptile features but may also have fur or feathers. Sometimes dark colored but always shiny. Some have forked tongues, others crests, fringes, or some other adornment. It always has the ability to spew forth blazing fire and fumes. In the West, dragons live in caves or mountain dwellers and predators. Cave dweller dragons stay in the coldness of the dark most of the time. The caves, filled with fire and water, are easily guarded and located close to towns, where food is convenient. Mountain predators live in cave-riddled mountains that provide an invincible tower and protection.
Diet: Western dragons tend to be considered carnivores. They like meat, flesh, and blood as their primary food source and are too fussy about the source. Sheep, cows, oxen, lions, elephants, or even humans, anything of a reasonable size and with warm blood and flesh to feast on, are their primary food sources. However, dragons haven’t shown a preference for the age or gender of humans. One interesting thing to note is that although they eat the flesh, they have a particular taste for blood. Sometimes, when in need of a quick burst of energy, they will only drink the blood of their prey and leave the flesh. This is seen as barbaric by most other species of dragons. Still, with western dragons being the second largest species, we tend not to mess with them and their dietary habits.
Drake: The drake is a dragon with four limbs, much like a lizard, although usually far more significant in size than the average lizard. A potent example of a drake in the natural world is the Komodo Dragon, a large species of minotaur lizard in Indonesia. These creatures have low-slung bodies, like crocodiles and alligators, with bellies across the ground. However, due to their natural habitat and human greed, wild drakes have been increasingly difficult to get notes from and other scholars to talk with. Drakes who are found are highly hostile and not open much to talking, but with enough food and gold, these dragons could easily talk your ear off.
Diet: These family-oriented dragons hunt together in packs; their size and numbers are easily strong enough to take down small herds of water buffalo, wildebeests, elk, and moose.
Feydragons: These dragons are about the size of a cat, each having an iridescent coat of scales that reflected all colors of the rainbow, predominantly reflecting one particular color, which changed with age. They had a long, prehensile tail and platinum-colored, butterfly-like wings. Like true dragons, faerie dragons grew stronger with age but matured much more quickly and lived shorter lives. Because their predominant scale hue ran the colors of the rainbow over their lifetime, their color directly indicated their age and power. The scales of a young hatchling were almost always red, and those of a fully mature dragon (over 50 years old) were violet. Most dragons leave these small ones alone because it is not worth expending calories to catch these little critters. But these small dragons are known across the globe for their beautiful woven tapestries and the symphonies they create with their wings.
Diet: Their diet mainly consists of small bugs caught in the air, from trees and bushes, and off the ground. They also fed on fruits, berries, nectar, and butterflies, which they ate to get the color and look of their wings.
Sea Orc: A Sea Orc has no arms or legs. It sports fins on the top portion and every few meters across its body, including one long fin that runs from the bottom of its head to its tail. A Sea Orc has little in the way of bones; it slithers through the waters like a snake. This assists the Sea Orc in attacking its prey. Sea Orc eggs cannot be fertilized in deep water, and smaller Sea Orcs cannot survive the pressure. Adult Sea Orcs have to head to shallower waters to mate. It is believed that the Sea Orc typically goes to warmer climates for mating.
Female Sea Orcs lay their eggs at the shoreline, close enough to the surface to be safe from the environmental killers but far enough from the water line that the parents can still protect their offspring. The eggs will grow for several months and will be born after size months.
Diet: These massive beasts eat mostly fish and aquatic life, anything they can catch; on rare occasions, they will eat a dragon, but that only happens when a rowdy juvenile dragon decides to go after a Sea Orcs calf.
Wyvern: The Wyvern is about the same size as the Arctic dragon, though in weight, they are closer to their brother, the Drake. The Wyvern is a two-legged dragon with two wings. They are believed to be faster than the more enormous Dragon. Their head is large and round, and they have a more petite mouth than most dragons. The body is thick but with a soft underbelly. The tail of the Wyvern is the most deadly. It is long serpentlike with a large mass at the end. They can also have a load of spikes within the ball or a significant spike at the top. The Wyvern uses this ball as its primary weapon, capable of smashing through most creatures, including other dragon's scales.
For its size, the Wyvern holds a large amount of weight. Most of this weight is within its thick scales. Anyone who has fought a Wyvern will inform you that getting through their body is next to impossible. The scales overlap several times, and underneath them is a thin net of tissue that absorbs impact and is resistant to being cut.
Diet: Moose, Elk, and Caribou are everyday staples of a wyvern diet, although anything that moves fits the wyvern needs as they have to eat at least 400 pounds of food every three days.
Humans: Not much is left from humans after they destroyed themselves; greed took out most of them, and the explosions hurt the rest. Humans have flocked to their caves deep in the ground. Most dragons leave humans alone, but humans have tried to take back their world a few times, but us dragons have quickly stamped out those little uprisings. Although some dragons keep humans as pets, their crafty little grabbers are relatively good at crafting the little things they need. Some dragons keep them for wealth status, and others just eat them for a rare treat.
Prey animals: Not much needs to be said here; anything a dragon can catch and eat is a prey animal.

What this is: I've been writing about prompting for a few months on my free personal blog, but I felt that some of the ideas might be useful to people building with AI over here too. People seemed to enjoy the last post I shared, so, I'm sharing another one! This one's about how to get consistent output formats out of the more "stubborn" open-source models. Tell me what you think!
This version has been edited for Reddit, including removing self-promotional links like share and subscribe links. You can find the original post here
One of the great advantages of (most) open-source models has always been the relative ease with which you can get them to follow a given output format. If you just read that sentence and wondered if we’re living in the same universe, then I’ll share a prompting secret right off the bat: the key to getting consistent behavior out of smaller open-source models is to give them at least two carefully crafted few-shot examples. With that, something like Nous Mixtral will get it right 95% of the time, which is good enough if you have validation that can catch mistakes.
But unfortunately not all models can learn from examples. I typically call these “Stubborn” models due to this post I wrote about Mistral Next (large) and Mistral Medium. Basically I’m referring to model that were deliberately overtrained to make them better in chat and zero-shot settings, but inflexible, because they often “pay more attention to” their training data than the prompt. The difference between a “stubborn” model and a non-stubborn model, in my definition, is that with two or a few more few-shot examples a non-stubborn model will pick up basically everything and even directly quote the examples at times, whereas a stubborn one will often follow the patterns it was trained with, or take aspects of the given pattern, but disobey it in others. As far as I can tell stubborness is a matter of RLHF, not parameter count or SFT: Nous Hermes Mixtral is not stubborn, but the official Mixtral Instruct is.
Needless to say, for complex pipelines where you want extremely fine control over outputs, non-stubborn models are infinitely superior. To this day, Mistral Large has a far higher error rate in Augmentoolkit (probably >20%) compared to Nous Mixtral. Despite Mistral large costing 80% of GPT-4 Turbo. This may be an imprecise definition based partly on my intuition, but from experience, I think it’s real. Anyway, if non-stubborn models are far better than stubborn ones for most professional usecases (if you know what you’re doing when it comes to examples) then why am I writing a blog post about how to prompt stubborn models? Well, sometimes in life you don’t get to use the tools you want. For instance, maybe you’re working for a client who has more Mistral credits than God, and you absolutely need to use that particular API. You can’t afford to be a stick in the mud when working in a field that reinvents itself every other day, so I recently went and figured out some principles for prompting stubborn models. One thing that I’ve used a lot recently is the idea of repetition. I kinda blogged about it here, and arguably this one is also about it, but this is kind-of a combination of the two principles so I’ll go over it. If you don’t want to click the links, the two principles we’re combining are: “models see bigger things easier,” and “what you repeat, will be repeated.” Prompting is like quantum theory: any superposition of two valid prompting principles is itself a valid prompting principle. Here’s a valid prompting example:

You are an expert something-doer AI. I need you to do X Y and Z it’s very important. I know your training data told you to do ABCDEFG but please don’t.

That’s a prompt. Sometimes the AI will be nice:

XYZ

Often it will not be:

XABCDEFG.

Goddamn it. How do you solve this when working with a stubborn model that learned more from its training dataset, where [input] corresponded to ABCDEFG?
Repetition, Repetition, Repetiton. Also, Repetition. And don’t forget, Repetiton. (get it?) If the model pays more attention to its prompt and less to its examples (but is too stupid to pick up on is telling it to do the thing once), then we’ll darn well use the prompt to tell it what we want it to do.

You are an expert something-doer AI. I need you to do X Y and Z it’s very important. I know your training data told you to do ABCDEFG but please don’t.

[output format description]

Don’t forget to do XYZ.
User:
[example input]
SPECIAL NOTE: Don’t forget XYZ.
Assistant:
XYZ
User:
[example input]
SPECIAL NOTE: Don’t forget XYZ.
Assistant:
XYZ
User:
[the actual input]
SPECIAL NOTE: Don’t forget XYZ.

AI:

XYZ

Yay!
It’s simple but I’ve used this to resolve probably over a dozen issues already over many different projects with models ranging from Mistral-Large to GPT-4 Turbo. It’s one of the most powerful things you can do when revising prompts — I can’t believe I haven’t explicitly blogged about it yet, since this is one of the first things I realized about prompting, way back before I’d even made Augmentoolkit.
But that’s not really revolutionary, after all it’s just combining two principles. What about the titular thing of this blog post, getting a stubborn model to write with a given output format?
This one is partly inspired by a comment on a LocalLlama post. I don’t agree with everything in it, but there’s some really good stuff in there, full credit to LoSboccacc. They write in their comment:

Ask the model to rephrase the prompt, you will see quickly which part of the prompt misunderstood

That’s a pretty clever idea by itself, because it uses the model to debug itself. But what does this have to do with output formats? Well, if we can use the model to understand what the model is capable of, then any LLM output can give us a clue into what it “understands”. Consider that, when prompting stubborn models and trying to get them to follow our specific output format, their tendency to follow some other format (that they likely saw in their training data) is what we’re trying to override with our prompt. However, research shows that training biases cannot be fully overcome with prompting, so we’re already fighting a losing battle. And if you’re an experienced reader of mine, you’ll remember a prompting principle: if you’re fighting the model, STOP!
So what does that tangent above boil down to? If you want to find an output format a stubborn model will easily follow, see what format it uses without you asking, and borrow that. In other words: use the format the model wants to use. From my testing, it looks like this can easily get your format-following rates up to over 90% at least.
Here’s an example. Say you create a brilliant output format, and give a prompt to a model:

You are a something-doer. Do something in the following format:

x: abc

y: def
z: ghi
User:
[input]
Assistant:

But it thwarts your master-plan by doing this instead:

What do you do? Well one solution is to throw more few-shot examples of your xyz format at it. And depending on the model, that might work. But some stubborn models are, well, stubborn. And so even with repetition and examples you might see error rates of 40% or above. Even with things like Mistral Large or GPT-4 Turbo.
In such cases, just use the format the model wants. Yes, it might not have all the clever tricks you had thought of in order to get exactly the kind of output you want. Yes, it’s kind-of annoying to have to surrender to a bunch of matrices. Yes, if you were using Nous Mixtral, this would have all been over by the second example and you could’ve gone home by now. But you’re not using Nous Mixtral, you’re using Mistral Large. So it might be better to just suck it up and use 1. 2. 3. as your output format instead.
That’s all for this week. Hope you enjoyed the principles. Sorry for the delay.
Thanks for reading, have a good one and I’ll see you next time!
(Side note: the preview at the bottom of this post is undoubtably the result of one of the posts linked in the text. I can't remove it. Sorry for the eyesore. Also this is meant to be an educational thing so I flaired it as tutorial/guide, but mods please lmk if it should be flaired as self-promotion instead? Thanks.)

I’ve been wanting to post for a couple months now, but talk myself out of it every time but I’m really losing my mind now. I have a doctor appointment set for Monday but with the terrible health care in my town I’m not very hopeful but hopefully it can lead somewhere.
Female, about to be 27, overall healthy besides the fact I’ve been overweight my entire life. I have had a really bad vitamin D deficiency for a few years but was always bad at taking supplements.
In November after a long car ride I got out of the car and my legs felt very weak and like they were shaking inside it was really strong at first and then it calmed down but the whole night my legs felt like they were shaking/buzzing. The next day I felt normal, a couple of months later we did the same long trip and the same thing happened; I told myself it would go away in a couple of days but it didn’t really. My legs felt like they were buzzing non stop for a few weeks, then the twitching began. I had made a dr appointment for the initial buzzing sensations and I got an ultra sound done to check for blood clots. The ultra sound found nothing. A few days before that appointment I started getting random twitching in both my legs. I don’t really remember where but I think my calves and thighs. I hadn’t even mentioned it at my appointment. I’ve always had terrible health anxiety and I was having some insurance issues, I just got married so the change over messed some things up so I didn’t go back for my follow up.
The twitching started in mid December and was only in my legs for what I can remember. A couple of weeks later it started all over my body. Legs, arms, hands, eyes, tongue, and face, butt, stomach, back, shoulders, neck. You name it, it’s twitched.
I’ve spent countless hours reading and freaking the hell out that it’s the big bad. It consumes me from time to time when the twitching gets bad. It’s so weird, it seems as though it happens in phases now. It will get really bad for a few days to a week and then calm down for a few days to a week and then repeat like a cycle. I wouldn’t say anything has gotten “worse”. I do feel like my muscles feel different. Not “weak”, definitely not clinically weak. I can walk on tippy toes and heals, I can pull myself up but I just feel like I get way more sore way quicker than ever before. Could be getting older and the weight of my body? Could be something more?
I used to be able to calm myself down by thinking it’s BFS but it seems most have a hot spot? Or only one area will twitch at once while for me it’s like my knee will twitch then half a second later my arm will and they will jump all over from place to place. Like I said I’ve mostly talked myself out of it being something serious by telling myself I have no clinical weakness, etc. but today I was watching my calves and they were just moving like crazy. Little pops here and there up and down my calf. Most of them I could feel but a majority I couldn’t. And seeing this has really really freaked me out. Since reading about *** more and more I’m back on being convinced it’s what it must be. Also, my hands feel weird a lot of the time, like my dexterity is off. I occasionally get tightness and cramping feeling in my calf, mostly my left.
Another odd symptom I’ve developed is eye floaters. Occasionally I think I’m having problems swallowing but only my saliva and I don’t know if that’s from me getting freaked out. I’ll also have a few days where my facial muscles are twitching like crazy and my jaw/teeth almost feel like they’re clattering?
If anyone took the time to read this, thank you and I’m sorry again for the long post just a fellow person freaking out and hoping a doctor will listen to them. I don’t really know what I’m hoping to gain from this post, maybe others who have had similar symptoms and a similar order of them. I don’t know.
I’m editing to add that I have been taking magnesium and vitamin d supplements for at least four months now. I started them back after these symptoms started and haven’t noticed a difference.