Melatonin spot

Looking for some advice. Last fall I started having issues with insomnia (falling asleep and staying asleep). I’ve had trouble falling asleep in the past but have never had issues staying asleep. This coincided with cycle irregularity (didn’t have a period for 3 months) so I figured it was peri related (I am 52). My doctor agreed that it could be related so she gave me a trazadone script and a progesterone script. Trazadone did not work at all and didn’t feel much benefit from the progesterone so she gave me a script for ambien and increased Progesterone to 200mg. The progesterone made me spot for a month straight and I still wasn’t sleeping well so she reduced me back down to 100 mg (much better) and gave me a script for Buspirone. It’s been almost a month and a half and my sleep is still no better! I go to bed around 9 usually sleep ok until 11:30-12 and the it’s a constant cycle of waking up. I use the slumber app and that helps me get back to sleep but by around 3:30 it becomes really hard to fall back asleep. I was having some mild hot flashes before the progesterone but those have mostly disappeared and I’m not feeling overly anxious when I wake up. Based on my sleep app on Apple Watch I am averaging about 5 hrs 45 min of sleep a night with some nights much worse. I also take magnesium glycinate, melatonin and Ashwaganda every evening. Hoping for some tips and tricks to actually stay asleep. I would be in heaven if I could get 7 solid hours. Unfortunately can’t do any cannabis or THC due to my security clearance.

I'm a healthy productive person that has always been praised in any job I ever did... Until they couldn't tolerate my constant sleep ins and basically being useless before noon. I only ramp up and feel alive after 2pm. When it's time to sleep 6 am sleep time is my sweet spot.
My mom is exactly the same and after retirement keeps a very similar schedule. People call her crazy.
I am literally completely fucked. I can't participate in normal jobs and advance my life.
Melatonin works sometimes but impossible more than 2 days in a row.
Basically can someone recommend me a vicious cocktail of drugs that can reliably knock me out when I need and I don't give a shit what it does to me.
Written at 3 am and I'm working tomorrow.
I'll still get a great amount of work done but will still get looked at as some freaking lazy loser just because I can't physically start early like these goddamn squirrel people around me that chirp at 6am God damnit
This is so frustrating.
I know myself that I would be extremely successful if I could maintain a regular rhythm but with this I just can't be there when everything is going on
Before noon is prime business time and Im happy if I'm able to utter a single word until then out of pure pain.
Pls someone tell me about some military experimental knock out drug that takes off 10 years of your life I just want to be a participant in life and not looked at as a freak.

Things have been very busy at my non-medical assisted living for TBI.. so this is a tad late.
I will make this brief, and follow up later with a review much larger I am still editiing.
I need to make the reminder that due to TBI, things like narcolepsy, GAD, SAD, PTSD many more are severely different in my brain vs someone that has the same problems. I do not produce natural GABA nor do I produce melatonin naturally in the brain. This leads to having to use bigger doses than the usual dosage range.
ALSO: AS A REMINDER ANY AILMENTS THESE PRODUCTS HAVE FOR ME MEDICALLY, AND THE PRODUCT ITSELF.. IS NOT FDA-BACKED NOR APPROVED
TS-3 is an oddball. It is rated the same as ME-55 and UC in terms of it's strength. Now, if you were to ask me - I would rate it just above and below ET2. The color of the extract, powder, is nearly the same as ET2 when UC and ME-55 were drastically darker. I am going to have to re-visit ME-55 as I know they're working on it's issues, but as a quickly growing favorite I need to be honest about it.
So for TS-3, as mentioned in terms of effects on their chart.. they're not making that up. I notice far less euphoria and anxiety reduction while at the same time instead, as there is some of that, as they describe... the focus is intense. I am able to sit down, write out other reviews for other vendors of different products - it's the only Kanna from them I am able to play Call of Duty on without being distracted or getting up and doing something else.
It terms of potency, as stated, I would rate it above UC and ME, and I personally think they got it wrong on their website - that's just my opinion, as any reviewer or reader of them knows... YMMV.
It is very strong for what it does. I find myself sometimes during my 2nd of 3 doses per day, as stated due to my TBI - I do use and need more than others, however I do find myself taking a dose of ET2 and mixing it with TS-3 to produce a much different effect. Now, due to it's nature - it is not my favorite, nor is it my least favorite - but I only use it in the afternoon when narcolepsy kicks in. Again, nothing I say regarding any medical symptoms AS ALWAYS - is not backed by the FDA. Which brings me to another point. Zembrin IS FDA backed and is a form of Kanna extract that is commonly used for depression, and some of the same symptoms I have and Kanna does a great job with helping.
The powder again, just as white and fluffy as ET2 - slightly darker, but then again I have one eye lol. Writing this out is nearly impossible with Kanna as I said - commonly get distracted, however the "Focus" profile on their website is 100% legit. It does have its euphoria, however focus really is its main goal, and that is great. I recently was able to from head to toe clean my room and carpet, while re-arranging as I have a 65lb tv from FreeTelly being delivered. The date keeps getting pushed - but I was able to be better prepared. I have a small short on you tube telling of how Kanna made that possible but that was ET2 combined with a small amount of TS-3 to keep me focused. I was able to move furniture and bring in new furniture, rearrange my room - as OCD runs deep with TBI, and the TS-3 focus REALLY brings that out while at the same time allowing me to concentrate 100% better while I change things up, make sure things like decorations or furniture is completely aligned perfectly. So with OCD - this sorta brings it out - but I can be compulsive and accurate with what I am doing, instead of just being compulsive. This really stands out - as it does help me focus through that and am able to get things done right, or perfect in my head. And the video I made of the ET2 mix shows greatly how well and organized things in my area are BECAUSE of the mix
Another win from Ultrakanna. Again however I would definately raise it above ME and UC, as ME-55 what I have left - which isnt much from one gram, however they had an issue with mesmbrone content on it leading it to clump up. Thankfully - TS-3 helped me gut the container out, PERFECTLY with OCD, and though it's not supposed to remain in open air, I have no lid for my extra container that it would have been great in. Even though humidity does make it clump, It does not lose its potency. That revisted review will be next, but for TS-3 I have way more to say, however nobody on this subreddit seems to care for long reviews. TS-3 has helped me with focusing on the new community forum dedicated to natural things quite a bit - and its launch date is coming very soon, where long reviews WILL be encouraged and those who troll and say things like "youre on meth" will be banned on the spot lol. I have quite a few friends that will be administrators as we grew up doing web-design as that was my minor, and major was pharmacology. Even in hard times I was able to obtain not only my GED, but an assosciates in those two. Or basically two years of higher education in those areas before I was hit by a car as a pedestrian.
More on TS-3 to come, but I had free time for once and wanted to say something - as this was way late.
You cannot go wrong with Ultrakanna.
EDIT: my personal mix of ET2 and TS-3 for a great euphoric driven focus! https://www.youtube.com/shorts/MesuIpb1ajg

I'm 15 years old, I woke up this morning with blood all over my arm from seemingly a small spot that wasnt there before. I also have two yellow bruises on my arm, severe nausea and sore throat. My leg is also still really painful that was there before. Its really achey and hurts when I sit up and sit down and when I walk. My mother died of breast cancer, my aunt also had cancer. Im also super tired even when I sleep for hours and hours, went to sleep last night with the help of my prescribed melatonin. Went at 6:30 woke up at 10 and I'm still tired. Super hot in one layer. My throat is sore but pretty sure that is because of my family also having a sore throat

I found out on April 28th that I was 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I ordered pills from AidAccess for $150 on Monday, and they arrived by Thursday (5 weeks and a day, give or take). I took the first pill at 11:30 PM on Friday. On Saturday, I went to an appointment at 9 AM, came back home, napped, and felt fine all day. I ended up getting frisky with my partner around 6 PM, which led to some light bleeding and spotting. Since I still felt fine, we got ready for the gym, as I was waiting until the 24 hours had passed to take the next pills. At the gym around 7 PM, I started heavily bleeding, feeling like I had just gotten my period. I kept working out, thinking it might stop, but it didn’t. My partner and I left the gym, and I called the hotline and spoke with a very kind girl who said the pill was doing its job and I had nothing to worry about, and that I could go ahead and take the other four pills since I didn’t have to wait the full 24 hours. We quickly grabbed food, and we went back home to shower. I felt fine the entire time, other than slight cramping and gushing blood. I was more concerned about the gushes that kept coming out, feeling like I was peeing myself. After eating and taking a Tylenol, I got comfortable and took the four pills (in my cheek) around 8:30 PM. I waited 30 minutes and swallowed the rest. After that, I just relaxed, and because I was wearing an adult diaper, I felt secure. After an hour or so, I went to use the bathroom, and as I peed, two big clots came out back to back. I didn’t get a chance to look at them because they plopped out so quickly. I was actually intrigued and wanted to look at them; I love anything medical and enjoy watching plastic surgery videos, so this didn’t freak me out. I ended up cramping from around 11 PM to 1:30 AM, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. I felt like I was having what would be a 5-day period in a couple of hours. The cramps at the end felt EXACTLY like the cramps at the end of my period, just feeling like everything was being juiced to get everything out. I took melatonin and knocked out by 2 AM. The next day, I woke up rested with slight cramps here and there, but nothing concerning. The bleeding now just feels like a regular period, some clots but nothing concerning. It’s Monday, and I took the day off work to relax. I feel good about my decision and have no regrets or weird feelings. My partner and I prepped really well and now feel more at ease. I just can’t wait to stop bleeding and test myself in a couple of weeks. I hope everyone dealing with this feels more at ease reading this. It’s not as scary as the stories I’ve read online. If you have bad period cramps, that is exactly what you’ll be feeling, and it’ll only last for around 2-3 hours if that. It goes by quickly. 🫶🏽🩷

I had an super large exam this morning that I’ve been studying all year for and I did not sleep at all. Or I was half asleep for like a good hour or 10 minutes at a time. I tried going to sleep at around 12 and I’ve stayed awake till 7 when I was supposed to wake up. I was walking around the house trying to find ANY spot where I comfortable enough to easily fall asleep but I just couldn’t. I tried mediation but I just couldn’t focus on one thing at the time. Usually I just lie on my back and try to focus on my breath and count in/out 7 seconds. I usually fall asleep quite easily and I know I couldn’t fall asleep cause of anxiety but it seriously made me very upset cause I wanted to get a good nights sleep. Any advice cause I do not want to go on pills or melatonin but it seriously takes a toll on my mental health and my sleep schedule and probably my body. (Feel like a big baby but I feel so frustrated so I started crying cause I couldn’t sleep)

A few years ago I listened to a podcast about a murder that really amazed me but I can’t for the life of me find it again. Please help!
My vague recollection is that a man who was a family doctor found his partner dead and ended up being convicted of her murder despite claiming no memory of it. I think he claimed he was visiting his father at the time. Now it stuck with me (clearly vaguely 😅) because the podcast claimed later that whilst incarcerated he requested medicine (I think melatonin) and later still he was diagnosed with having a gland/tumor problem and that may have caused him to commit the murder randomly, yet not remember it, plus his self diagnosis therefore was spot on.
Any ideas who this story is about?

[I am undiagnosed but suspect HH. My only real symptoms are Pepsin burps/reflux, loss of appetite, and super early satiety (no heartburn or liquid acid.) I have a Drs appointment. I take nexium/pepcid and use alkaline water + baking soda to stop pepsin gas from burning the mouth.]
I thought i was in a good spot last night before bed. I wasnt having a ton of symptoms. I used a wedge + regular pillow combo to keep a good angle lying down.
I dont know why but the burps and near constant expelling of pepsin began to occur for hours until Melatonin and exhaustion took hold and forced me to sleep. I had moved to a more elevated recliner by then but it didnt stop it. I awoke with a sore nose and throat a few hours later and the same symptoms.
I am so terrified of gambling every time I do any activity. I feel like ill just stay stressed because i cant sleep normal and never know if food or lying back is going to trigger it more this time. Ive only had this about a week and im trying to do all the healthy things but ... I feel like its getting worse.

Im a 34yo female not on birth control and have noticed whenever I start taking melatonin, my mild pre-menstrual symptoms start earlier and I start spotting 10 days before my predicted period start day. I never spot and have no other confounding variables. This has happened 3 separate times when incorporating melatonin into my nightly routine. I will say, I don't go light on the mg's. The 3 separate times I've tried melatonin, I was taking 10mg a night.
I'm a believer in the power of taking supplemental melatonin, but this definitely makes me leery of taking it. I wasn't taking it for sleep, just was doing it for its antioxidant effects. Curious if any other women have experienced this.

I'm like a clock with this. No matter when I go to bed, I wake up after 5.5 hours of sleep (sometimes 5, sometimes 6), and it takes me 1.5 hours to fall back asleep, IF I only read a book and don't get up and scroll. Also, I can only fall back asleep if it's before 7 AM. But, doing this makes me groggy all day and it's a huge waste of time. If I don't fall back asleep, I'm tired all day long, so this is about 5-6 days a week for me of pure uselessness.
Maybe once a week, I'll sleep 8 hours through the night and I always feel great during these days (even 7 has me feeling 95% but its soooo elusive). I don't even think about being tired or awake, I just live life and it's amazing! On days where I get 5.5 hours, I slug through the entire day.
What has helped? The earlier I go to bed, the better, BUT if I go to bed before 10, I will wake up at around 1 AM. If I go into bed at 10:30 and fall asleep at 11, that seems to be the sweet spot for waking up at 4:30, and falling back asleep for round 2 at 6 AM.
I've went to sleep doctors who said I'm fine, don't have sleep apnea, etc. I've tried super healthy diets, no drinking, exercise at different times of day (I love exercise, so this is easy), strict sleep schedule for weeks at a time, noise machines, Melatonin, sleepy time teas. I think the only thing I haven't tried is Ambien type drugs which I won't do. My blood work is great aside from some high LDL cholesterol but my ratio is good, and low free testosterone (Overall Testosterone is great though). I'm 6' tall and 175 pounds, so it's not a weight thing.
My best friend thinks it's psychological, but what could it be? Like a self fulfilling prophecy? I doubt it's depression, I've been depressed in my younger days, and I am wayyy happie more fulfilled than those times and I feel pretty happy in general (it really shows when I sleep 7 plus hours). I do long for a girlfriend/ to get married, but I don't think it's that. I don't feel anxious/ anxiety.
This may sound strange, but could I just 'give a F' too much? I find people who seem to be carefree tend to not have sleeping issues. For example, I have friends who have terrible financial positions, they're stressed, overworked, don't exercise, eat like shit, are overweight, but they also seem easygoing and carefree at the same time, and they sleep 9 hours a day and can't even comprehend sleeping issues. Could it be that I'm too uptight? I wouldn't say I have a stick up my butt, but I do get angry at stuff. I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary, as I have lots of friends and a great relationship with my family and a best friend who I talk to regularly.
Thanks!

30F, White/Caucasian, 5’1” 145 pounds. I do not drink. I do not smoke. I use cannabis sparingly.
TLDR: Middle stomach pain, nausea, and vomiting what looks like blood.
Medication/supplements: -Multivitamin, vitamin d, melatonin -Tylenol 1G every 6 hrs, Motrin 600mg every 6 hrs -Zofran 4mg every 6 hours, Promethazine 25mg every 8 hours
Surgery hx: -C-section x 2 -Gallbladder removal -Left ovary/tube removed due to mass -3x endometriosis surgeries
History: Endometriosis
A few days ago I started to have extreme central abdominal pain, around my belly button. It is a very deep ache-like almost the feeling of when you have pain from being extremely hungry and your stomach is eating itself, but worse. The pain has been off and on, but today has been pretty constant. I’ve vomited a few times today, despite taking prescription nausea meds. I will say that my vomit doesn’t look normal. It has dark brown spots like I ate chocolate but didn’t and a few small streaks of bright red. Could the color be due to drinking unsweetened black tea? I haven’t eaten anything today and just had watetea to drink.
I feel pretty crummy, but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I can continue just pushing through and medicating at home if needed. I have nausea medication from my OBGYN due to persistent stage 4 endometriosis. The nurse advice line told me to go to the ER, because IF it is blood in my vomit it is an emergency. However, I couldn’t show them pictures of my vomit. If you have made it thus far in this boring, long, gross post thank you. If someone could point me in the right direction, I would appreciate it. I will post links to my vomit below, please let me know if you need any more information or the links do not work.
Again, this is vomit…
https://tinypic.host/image/IMG-6171.Dukjn4
https://tinypic.host/image/IMG-6169.DukRr2
https://tinypic.host/image/IMG-6170.DukvxU

On 4/20, I decided to partake in the whole weed day because my girlfriend was at a concert with her friends and they were taking edibles. I don't even ingest weed/smoke weed ever, the only drug I've ever done was shrooms and that was a pleasant experience. This was the first time I've ever ingested THC. I had a 500mg edible and I split it in half... I had a friend who told me that was fine to do (he's heavily experienced so it would've been fine for him but... obviously not for me). I took the edible around 9pm and I was out with my friend at a park just hanging out, and then I suddenly felt like my whole body was tingling and my head was heavy. We immediately went back to his car and I was starting to worry I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was literally leaned over the ac vent taking deep breaths because I didn't want to pass out. My friend took me back to my room and I basically for the next 3-4 hours just was standing taking deep breaths, convinced that my heart was going to stop because of how fast it was beating. I genuinely have never felt anything like this ever in my entire life. I had tunnel vision, my heart rate had to have been a good 150 (i didn't even check my pulse I was worried to) my mouth was so dry I drank 11 water bottles and kept drinking as much water as I could to try and get it out of my system, I was also having chest pain ON TOP of the elevated heart rate. Then... the cherry on top... I start having hallucinations. I didn't stay in my room I walked around because I felt like walking around my college campus would be good for me, boy was I wrong. I was hallucinating weird things, for example, I was hallucinating there was this couple leaned on the outside of my dorm room kissing each other. I know it was a hallucinating because they were still there in the exact same position and spot when I came back. I also hallucinated when I went into the bathroom ... for some reason I was hallucinating that my girlfriend was cheating on me with someone else in the stall. I freaked out and ran in the stall to find no one there. After that, I decided to call my girlfriend because now I was convinced she was cheating on me with some guy, and when I called her she told me she was at her friends house because they just got home from the concert and she was staying the night. I just kept barraging her with questions like "WHO ARE YOU WITH?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW??" stuff like that. I swear you guys... I was also having auditory hallucinations that she was moaning at the end of all her sentences and it really made my anxiety worse. It was hell. I hated iI. I couldn't take it I hung up and just was convinced she was cheating on me. I went back to my room and took a melatonin and fell asleep. I woke up the next day STILL high. I didn't stop being high until 2 days after which is fucking insane to me. Anyway, the point of this post is that ever since April 20th, I've had anxiety that comes whenever I talk to my girlfriend at all or whenever I think about that night. I've been trying to not think about it and some days have been better than others, but I just don't know what to do. I just feel a deep sense of anxious attachment to her, if I'm not with her I feel like somethings up and even if I'm with her I feel anxious that she doesn't want to be with me. I'm genuinely suffering. Even when we're talking about how much we love each other, i still feel incredibly anxious. I want to ask how long this anxiety will last? I know it definitely fucked my brain up and it will probably take a little bit of time before I'm back to normal but I just want to get your guy's perspective on my situation. I would really appreciate the help. Thank you!

Ever since I was a kid I’ve had horrible nightmares. Death, torture, extremely vivid terrifying things. Mainly happening to me. I did have a very traumatic upbringing. Some of which I do not remember.
I have finally gotten to a point where I don’t have as many nightmares however sleep aids tend to ramp up my nightmares. And I do have some rough insomnia. Even if I take melatonin I can expect to have nightmares.
With most of my nightmares I tend to fall into what I call a “nightmare loop”. I will wake up mid nightmare, sometimes wide awake, but when I fall back asleep I fall back into the same nightmare at the exact same spot. It’s like hitting pause on a movie but someone won’t let me out of the movie.
I just want to know if there’s anything I can do to help this and if anyone experiences the same thing. I don’t watch scary movies. I don’t watch anything too scary that’s also too realistic. It doesn’t matter what mood I’m in before I go to bed. My thoughts are always in a good place before I go to bed. I obviously limit any and all sleep aids which helps but my nightmares don’t entirely go away.
I used to take prazosin for my nightmares and it helped but I’m not wanting to add any medication right now.
Also what are your thoughts on this? Any idea why I can fall into these “loops” so bad? Even if my boyfriend wakes me up I’ll fall back into the nightmare. And I know I’m awake enough because I’m able to remember most of my wake ups through the night.

Race Information Name: 2024 Eugene Marathon Date: April 28th, 2024 Distance: 26.2 miles Location: Eugene, OR Website: https://www.eugenemarathon.com/ Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11286410083/ Time: 3:04:39
Goals Goal Description Completed? A Sub 3 (A++++) No B Sub 3:02 (A+) No C Sub 3:05 (A-) Yes D Sub 3:07:27 Time PR (B) Yes E Sub 3:12 Difficulty PR (C) Yes F Finish and Don't Die (D) Yes
Splits Mile Time 1 6:53 2 6:51 3 6:47 4 6:51 5 6:54 6 6:42 7 6:48 8 6:50 9 7:03 10 6:49 11 6:53 12 6:50 13 6:51 14 6:51 15 6:55 16 7:02 17 6:57 18 7:01 19 7:10 20 7:06 21 7:20 22 7:23 23 7:27 24 7:34 25 7:36 26 7:20 27 6:42
Back story on me in regards to athletics: M43. This was my 3rd marathon. Run about ~1000 miles/year. Cycle about 1000 hours/year (as of recent). Swim 3 hours/week.
1st Marathon was 9/2022 - 3:07:27 - downhill course in Washington, Cascade Express Marathon. Sorry all the BQ folks, but at least I didn't take a spot in 2023 given there was no cut.
2nd Marathon was Boston 2023 - 03:21:35 - Went into it injured (more shin splint type pain), zero running in the 3 weeks that led up to it, very little sleep, and my legs got smoked by the hills. Decided finishing was better than pushing for pace.
I ran 1 year of track as Freshman in High School (1997), 2:06 800m. Started XC and likely would have made varsity with sub 18, but ended up with horrible shin splints (possibly stress fractures) where I constantly limped around school and didn't run again until I was about 30 years old
Fast forward to 2010, lived in Bend Oregon, herniated L5/S1, had back surgery, was 228 lbs. After back surgery I started reading about folks who said running helped with back pain, so I started tracking calories and walking on the treadmill. Then I did the typical run 1 minute, walk 3, etc. until I could run non stop. Got myself down to 172lbs through tracking calories and exercise, I was skinny fat per se, but in way better shape than prior to surgery. My back bothered me quite often, but if I focussed on running, it felt better. I ended up doing some local 5K races for fun and ran in the 21-22 minute range. That was pretty hard at the time. Didn't really do much weight lifting, mostly cardio. I ended up riding about 50 miles/week and did Seattle to Portland in 2 days with a cycling buddy. Fast forward to 2013, I moved to Eugene Oregon, started a new job as a Manager of an IT group. Didn't have any friends, focussed on being a rockstar at work and fell off the running/cycling wagon.
Fast forward to 2019, from 2013 to 2019, I gained most of the weight back and had a WTF moment at 218 lbs. Found a new running partner at work who was in the same spot physically as I was. We went on a low carb diet and within 7 months, I was down in the 170s and running close to 20 minute 5Ks. We lifted in the gym, and road about 50 miles week. We signed up for STP and did it in a day. Ended up doing my first 10k, but it was trail with a ton of vert, and pushed through a calf cramp. Ended up with a diagnosed soleus strain and dealt with that for a few years.
Fast Forward to 2020, was doing the Oregon Gran Fondo (117 miles with 7k vert), slightly outside my comfort zone, but it was a free entry. Ended up wrecking at mile 16, broke 7 vertebrae in my back and neck, but didn't realize it and finished the ride. I took just under 8 weeks off and got back to running. I was scared of the bike for quite some time... I slowly worked myself back and ended up finding a running club. Once I was surrounded by runners, I started aspiring to do more. From there, it went from 10k, to half marathons, to backyard ultras, to hood to coast, to full marathons. It wasn't without its challenges. I still deal with lower leg issues which my PT thinks is likely nerve related. I also drank a lot more during covid and started to gain weight and got back up to 186 as of 1/1/24.
Okay, now we get into the training: I've never been a high mileage guy and rely on cross training to get me there. My previous BQ was achieved through mostly 15 mile weeks with the last few weeks where I did some prove-it long runs. Mostly 3-4 runs a week. I would do hill repeats on my bike to supplement. I tried working my way up to 50MPW for Boston, achieved it, then ended up not being able to run and aqua jogging for 3 weeks! I'm part of a local run club who had a fantastic marathon training plan, but could only participate in a few runs due to kids, etc. The group is coached by an ex olympian! Spoiled here in Eugene.
So, this time around, I targeted 30-35 MPW as my goal. I got there a few times, but had some nagging calf (back to my 2019 injury or nerves) and shin issues pop up, so I backed off and spent more time on the bike. I never really got speed work in because it seems like that would irritate things the most. But I did race a 5k during the training block with my run group and hit 19:44. I knew that being 5'10" and 186 lbs was going to limit how fast I could run, so I started a PSMF cut while marathon training right after the new year. I made sure I was getting 160-180g protein a day and everything worked fine. In fact, as far as injuries go, this was the least injured I've been in a training block and I went into the marathon feeling like I had the best chance out of the three to run a great race.
In the end, for the 16 week block, I averaged 21 MPW. I rode ~5 hours/week on the bike trainer and swam 3 hours in the pool. I lifted weights 1-2 times week. I stopped stretching and focussed on body weight movements to get my mobility: Light weight deadlifts, squats, and single leg stuff. My PT tracks my mobility and said it's the best she's ever seen. I reminded her I don't stretch, she laughed and said it's working for me so keep it up. I did a 20 and 22 mile long run, other than that, everything was 13.1 miles or less. The long runs were pretty far out from Eugene, but given my travel schedule, that's what I had to do.
After the new year, I cut out drinking at home and limited myself to a total of 4 drinks/week. This was big I think.
Three weeks leading up to the Marathon: 3 weeks out, went on a cruise with my wife for her 40th. Tried to be good about my food choices, but ate way too much and drank more than I normally did, but I wouldn't call it excessive. Was able to run 15 miles on the ship for the week, but freaking hated it. When I got home, I went strict again and within a few days the bloat came off and I was back on track.
The last two weeks were pretty heavily tapered as I didn't want to risk injuring myself. However, I did do a predictor run to see what 6:58 pace looked like. 2 miles warm-up, 7 miles at 6:58 or so, then 3 miles cooldown. I felt collected and felt like that was do-able for 15-20 miles.
One week before the marathon, I started eating more carbs than I normally would, then 3 days before the race, I started eating a fairly carb heavy diet. My pre-race dinner was 2 days before. Ravioli's with meat sauce and sourdough!
Our local running club had a special deal on maurten race day pack, so I gave it a go. The day before the race I drank the 360 powder (yuck, lol).
Night/Day Before: Went to my son's track meet and sipped on Maurten pre race 360. got home at my last meal at 4pm, tried to nap for 3 hours because I slept like crap all week. Didn't sleep of course. Got all my running gear laid out, took the instagram photo of the race kit, took melatonin (don't normally), drank sleepy time tea, laid down and didn't fall asleep for an hour or so. Woke up at 1:00am, laid there, tried all the tricks. Finally got up at 2:40am, ate toast/peanut buttebanana/honey, showered, and laid down. Then I fell asleep, LOL.
Race Plan: This is a little out of sequence. I didn't run enough for me or my run club coach to know what I was able to accomplish. Since I already ran 2 marathons and I really wanted to get back to Boston to run with my friends in 2025, I figured, F it, let's go full send and see if I can pull off sub 3:01 (i think 9 minutes is what's required to guarantee a trip back there). I knew the 3 hour pacer and we decided it was best if I treat this like an 800. Start with the 3 hour group, hang on until I think it's not going to work anymore and let's see what happens. My coach agreed and warned me, "The marathon blow-up is like nothing you've ever experienced, but as long as you know that's in the cards, I support you." I'm paraphrasing.
Race Day:
After all the sleep issues, woke up at 4:55. Got up, got ready, got to Hayward and on the warm-up fields by 6:05. Warmed up with local run group. Felt nervous, had to pee multiple times and almost missed the start! By the way, there are bathrooms on the concourse at hayward, you don't need to use the porta potties. Also, if you are going to check you gear bag, please write you number on the back, in advance! There were huge lines and they had people grabbing bags from people in line, but the number needs to be on the bag.
The Race:
After my last pee, I ran down the stairs and the national anthem was playing. I stopped as I wanted to be respectful. Once it was over, I sprinted to the start line so I could join the 3 hour pace group. I jumped over the fence but it was so crowded I couldn't get to them. We started about 15 seconds later and I struggled to put my apple watch in DND and start the run, but pulled it off a few seconds after the start line. A mile down the road a saw a friend on the right, stripped off my outer layer and tossed it to him. It was overcast, and cool, sub 50 degrees. The weather for the entire race was PERFECT!
Miles 1-3 are very crowded, you are bumping elbows, dodging road cones (I think during mile 1-3, but definitely later). I'm not sure how they could make this better besides doing waves like boston, but that seems like it would take away from the start...
Once you get past mile 3 it opens up and you can start making moves if you want to.
There were 13 water stations, so pretty much every 2 miles. I carried a handheld so I could skip the water stops at the beginning, happy I did. Seemed quite busy. Nuun and water at all stops. Lots of stops were both sides of the road.
I fueled with maurten gel every 30 minutes, alternating caffeine.
I also took a saltstick tablet every 30 minutes.
My heart rate was 170'ish right off the go, so I was pretty worried about that, but I focussed on breath work and just held my 6:52-6:53 pace, slightly behind the 3 hour group. I was able to do this through 15 miles, and then my legs started feeling heavy and pretty sore, so I slowly started slowing down. I wouldn't call it a blow-up, just exceeded my training. Heart rate never drifted and stayed right around 170. Never felt like I had any cardio or breathing issues. It was just my mind over my legs.
There were a couple small hills on the course. Nothing crazy.
Since I'm local, I had tons of people I knew cheering along the way, including my wife and one of my kids. The only thing I said to them when I went by at mile 17.5 is, "This is so Hard!!!". I wish I would have said something else or blown them a kiss.
I'm guessing here, but much of the race starting around mile 15 is along the river. Somewhere around mile 18, there was a guy behind me screaming in pain every 15 seconds or so. I eventually let him pass me because it was just too much. Felt bad for him, but it was getting in my head a bit.
Around mile 20 you go over a bridge and then make your way back to hayward. That little climb up the bridge was murder. I was happy to see mile 20, but I knew I was in for a tough last 10k. I just tried to turn my mind off and keep the pace up as much as possible. I knew sub 3:02 wasn't going to happen, but I wanted to preserve sub 3:05 if at all possible, but didn't want to push so hard that I blew up. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to finish.
Mile by mile, I picked away, watching runner after runner grabbing their hamstring. I was able to help one runner with some salt pills, he thanked me later and said I saved his race!
Again, I'm local, so I'm very familiar with this route which helped me mentally. Somewhere around 23 miles, you start getting these little rollers (you are along the river). Normally, they aren't anything at all, but that day, HOLY CRAP. The little downhills killed me.
When I passed 23, I said to myself, 5k to go, you got this!
Then 24
Then 25
Then you go under the railroad track and come up this little rise in the road and can see Hayward. That's when my eyes started to tear up and I sped up. About that time the 3:05 pacer passed me. I looked at my watch because I was worried for a sec, but then realized most of the pacers were aiming for 30 seconds under. I pushed as hard as I felt was safe and entered hayward throwing my hands up. Even though there were thousands of fans there, I didn't see a single one. I finished, immediately got emotional and then just stood around in awe. I crushed my previous downhill time (which I didn't really count since it was downhill) when in reality, I wasn't even sure I'd finish.
What a freaking awesome day. While I didn't break 3 hours, I'm convinced with more mileage and speed work, I'll break three. Now, I feel like it's a race against father time.
Feel free to ask me anything about the course or my training (or lack thereof), happy to go into more details.

23 Nonbinary AMAB, 6'4, 270lbs, I take daily men's vitamins and nightly melatonin, smoke cannabis, have joint issues
A month ago, I dropped a table on my big toe; it bruised and has stayed that way for a while, no lasting pain after the first day, and the nail appears to be growing still to replace the injured section. That said, the bruised, black skin underneath has permeated through a spot on the side and what looks like a small fracture in the nail on the spot the table hit, thus exposing those two spots to oxygen. I've googled and googled with nothing helpful, only results based around immediate care and draining the blood. So, how do I take care of the exposed dead cells, and continue to do so when the nail grows out enough for them to push out the front? Thank you for any responses.
Also I hope hemotoma is the right term, it's what came up after searching "toe bruises", so I just assumed it was correct, I'd love to attach a photo besides the fact that it literally won't let me

I live in a small, isolated town in Montana. The government has put us under some kind of quarantine. We are trapped in our homes and aren’t allowed to go outside. No real explanation was given to us. They just stated that they are investigating a number of irregular deaths and advised us to keep our doors and windows closed at all times. Of course, people have been speculating. They whisper about deadly diseases, 5G radio waves, and alien abductions. But it seems only I know what is really happening here. It seems only I have noticed the increasingly high amount of entomologists and researchers nervously wandering around our city. The insects in my town have changed. They have evolved into beings far more threatening than those science books dared to show us. They are more coordinated, dangerous, and vicious than the ones near your home could ever be. I hope the government officials already know what I know. I hope they have some sort of immaculate plan. I hope they can stop these monsters from ever reaching you.
It must have been about half a year ago when it first happened. I got home from work and forgot that I left the window in our bathroom open. I was gone for about eight hours and wanted to get myself ready for bed.
That’s when I noticed them. Insects, fucking everywhere. On the walls, in the sink, near the ceiling. A million different kinds, varying in size, color, and shape, all crawling around the space I once believed to be mine. It felt incredibly uncanny, like I was simultaneously being watched by a million different cameras. Things only got worse when I turned the lights on. Suddenly, the once so still and quiet creatures all collectively shot towards the bulb, continuously bumping into the bright glass globe.
My hands were visibly shaking as I watched their play, action without reason, creatures that seemed so distanced from whatever I was, that they more so felt like aliens than animals. I felt surrounded, outnumbered, while I desperately swung my fly swatter around to try and get rid of them. It seemingly backfired as their constant buzzing appeared to only get louder and more demanding, causing an itchy sensation to slowly crawl up my spine. It was as if they had sensed an intruder entering their territory. They slowly shifted their attention towards me and started to get closer and closer. Just their sight alone was enough to turn my body into a trembling mess. The heavy thumping of my heart begged me to start running. This was it, I knew that I had to immediately get out of there. I frantically stormed out of the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and tried to calm myself down. But no amount of melatonin could soothe my nerves. In my fleeing dreams, the stars in the sky turned into humongous spiders that were slowly inching closer to me.
After waking up covered in sweat and feeling a profound sense of uneasiness, the first thing on my agenda was to buy some insecticide. Shivers went down my spine as I passed the closed bathroom. It felt like I had lost a part of my home and gave it back to Mother Nature. On my way to the store, I recognized that I saw far more insects than I ever did as a kid. It seemed like they already ruled over our tiny town. When you first start to sense them, there is no going back anymore. You hear them crawling on the supermarket shelves, circling around your food, creeping on your bed and furniture. You start to see them marching down the street, silently preying on the naive, and feel their threatening presence everywhere you go. You start to wonder how others are able to ignore such an undeniable force of nature. And you start to question at which places they are still able to hide from your gaze.
After a quick trip to the store, I equipped myself and got ready to kill these unwanted pests. I had to, it was the only way to escape the constant fear that would otherwise take over my existence. So I took a deep breath and pushed down the door handle. Upon entering the room, I was instantly taken aback. It looked nothing like the space I had seen before. The insects that now covered the room looked completely different. Dragonflies, moths, cockroaches, and numerous bugs that I couldn’t even remotely recognize were crawling inside of nooks and crannies that were entirely unbeknownst to me before. In a matter of half a day, it appeared as if these disgusting monsters created an entirely new ecosystem inside my bathroom. I got goosebumps as their constant murmuring appeared to drown out any sort of humanness that was left in here. There wasn’t an inch of space left untouched by them. They assimilated in the thousands, seemingly choosing the same dark and damp spots to hide.
"Why couldn’t you all just die?" I bitterly whispered, as I slowly aimed the spray at the wall and shot it at a horde of termites. They almost immediately fell to the ground and remained motionless. A slight smirk crossed my face. At this point, I still believed in the infinite power of human ingenuity. I was still convinced that no animal could ever harm us.
Yes, I was somewhat right. Over the years, humanity has created various ways to deal with vermin. Bug spray, traps, pesticides - they are all effective ways to eliminate thousands upon thousands of them. But the insects in my town have changed. I can't explain how or why they did. I just know that as soon as I entered their domain, it was already over for me.
As I was about to look for the next best spot to use my insecticide, I sensed that the atmosphere in the room has somehow transformed. The age-old instinct to get the hell away from wherever I was slowly set in. Abruptly, millions of insects entered my field of vision, rapidly coming out of the walls, sink, and toilet. They weren’t moving like before. They were marching as an entity, acting as one. I frantically looked around the room as my breathing became more and more erratic. It felt like I was drowning in a sea of color as they slowly approached me. Backed into a corner, I desperately held the spray in front of me, not sure where to aim as I was seemingly getting engulfed by one of nature's most disastrous plagues. This was more than my fragile body could ever handle. As the destructive wave of insects got closer, I felt infinitely small, just another insignificant part of the endless cycle of life.
In a last-ditch effort to save myself, I shot all of the remaining spray at whatever was directly in front of me, but it was no use, there were just too many to bear. The pure power of earth's creations overwhelmed me. My body seemed unable to listen to its master, as I abruptly couldn’t move anymore, only destined to watch, while these monsters started crawling up my legs and torso. While my silent tears slowly streamed down my face, all that was left of me was an empty husk of a human being, helplessly balled up as the sensation of a million different antennas, legs, and heads washed over me. When they landed on my eyes and ears, it felt like I was already dead. I had lost any sort of connection to the real world. All I could see were their legs and wings, all I could hear was their constant unbearable humming. My body couldn’t take it any longer. The never-ending fear caused me to pass out, finally freeing me from these excruciating moments of pure torture.
When I woke up, the floor was completely covered in corpses. I slowly got up and examined the place I was destined to die in. No more buzzing, no more flying. The stillness felt almost divine, like I was saved by some sort of merciful god. Uncountable numbers of insects remained on the ground, as the living ones seemed to have gone back into hiding. No bite or scratch marks. I apparently escaped this horrible nightmare without any sort of physical harm.
It is hard to explain what life feels like after such an encounter. The first few months, I mostly remained in bed, unable to cope with whatever happened that day. The rest of the time, I continued to stock up on pesticides and sprays. A newfound sense of paranoia overwhelmed every fiber of my being. The fear of whatever’s hiding in my proximity right now dictated my day-to-day life.
Things appeared to change after some time had passed. Even though past events still haunted me, I felt like I had at least begun to adjust to a normal life again. I started to look for a job and stopped continuously avoiding my friends and family. Even though I still seemed to hear the flapping of their wings at night, even though the same reoccurring dreams still chased me in my sleep, their grasp over me got weaker and weaker. The wounds that life had inflicted upon me didn’t start to heal, but at least they stopped bleeding.
I guess things were destined to fall apart. Someone like me apparently doesn’t get to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. It all changed when I dared to look in the mirror one day. It was supposed to be a mundane morning like any other. A steady routine should have given me my sense of reality back. Instead, I felt the fragile new life that I had built for myself crumbling again, as my reflection revealed that a tiny mealworm was slowly crawling out of my nose. I immediately started screaming and frantically tried to get the pest away from me. Old memories of repressed incidents started emerging again, as an indescribable sense of terror suffocated me once more. I almost instinctively started vomiting until I seemingly had no amount of stomach fluid left in me.
"What have I done to deserve this?" I weakly sobbed, while still hanging over the toilet bowl. It was as if life gave me another chance only to completely crush me once more.
Upon looking down, I noticed what seemed like small specks of grain in the toilet. A bunch of them, some tiny and white while others appeared slightly bigger and colorful. I recognized them almost immediately.
There were eggs inside of me.
The millions of insects that attacked me that day didn't want to kill me. They wanted to use me.
A few days after that, ominous men in suits started forcing us into our homes. Every day more and more corpses get sent away, probably to some sort of research facility. I dread the day where I will be put in one of these body bags. It seems the end is inevitable. Apparently, everybody who could potentially understand my fear is already dead. Maybe I am the only one that's left. I can only use my remaining time to try and warn you. The insects in my town have changed. I beg you, pray for me, be wary of what lies in the shadows, and hope that these monsters never come anywhere near you.

For about three months now I’ve had a persistent stabbing headache in the same exact area (left side of my head, either towards the crown or tempal, sometimes above my left eyebrow). They lasted about one month total, and then I had three weeks of relief but it came back and I think was triggered by a migraine headache, but once the migraine went away after a day I’ve been left with the short, sporadic stabbing pains since and it’s been another two and a half weeks of daily, constant stabs (30-100 a day). The stabs last maybe 1-3 seconds, and can be gone for anywhere from 30 seconds- 5 hours before returning in the same spot, but usually reoccur every 5- 10 minutes. No triggers (I have been hydrating, sleeping, added melatonin supplement and magnesium supplement, and bought by blue light glasses). I am under a great deal of stress but have been an anxious person for my whole life and never experienced this. I went to my primary doctor a month ago and she thought it was stress and wasn’t concerned because I have no other symptoms or issues— no vision changes or getting sick— just these incredibly irritating stabs. Any one else experience these or found relief?? My anxiety is starting to get the best of me but again I have no other symptoms and have already seen a doctor, and have been reading all about ice pick headaches, which I believe is what I have, but am so over them! If you have had the same experience or any relief please let me know. Thanks!!

For about three months now I’ve had a persistent stabbing headache in the same exact area (left side of my head, either towards the crown or tempal, sometimes above my left eyebrow). They lasted about one month total, and then I had three weeks of relief but it came back and I think was triggered by a migraine or tension headache, but once the migraine went away after a day I’ve been left with the short, sporadic stabbing pains since and it’s been another two and a half weeks of daily, constant stabs (30-100 a day). The stabs last maybe 1-3 seconds, and can be gone for anywhere from 30 seconds- 5 hours before returning in the same spot, but usually reoccur every 5- 10 minutes. No triggers (I have been hydrating, sleeping, added melatonin supplement and magnesium supplement, and bought by blue light glasses). I am under a great deal of stress but have been an anxious person for my whole life and never experienced this. I went to my primary doctor a month ago and she thought it was stress and wasn’t concerned because I have no other symptoms or issues— no vision changes or getting sick— just these incredibly irritating stabs. Any one else experience these or found relief?? My anxiety is starting to get the best of me but again I have no other symptoms and have already seen a doctor, and have been reading all about ice pick headaches, which I believe is what I have, but am so over them! If you have had the same experience or any relief please let me know. Thanks!!

Hi, I’ve posted before- im on 30mg that putters out within 3-4 hrs; my doctor added 2x 10 mg boosters this week & said I could try all at once (50mg) or staggered thru day as boosters.
FWIW I also take Gabapentin 300x3/day, Wellbutrin 75mg, and klonopin (as needed, usually .25 or .5 but have 2mg a day RX), so definitely been trying to figure out best timing for these all to be taken. These meds are needed & have been on them for years, so can’t cut. I have drastically cut my caffeine since starting the med 6 weeks ago- 9-10 shots of espresso a day down to 1-2 max. Today, I’ve had no caffeine at all.
Yesterday I tried the 30, it did its thing for about 2-3 hrs, then the booster. YES. Felt normal for once. For about 2 hrs. Tons of protein, sporadic sips of my one espresso. So much water. Crash. Okay… booster 2…. Got me thru afternoon into evening even, but then the crash was the worst I’ve ever had (even aided with klonopin & CBD) and throughout the day I was an absolute monster to my partner, and several normal life situations that I realized later I completely blew out of context.
FWIW I also have slowly cut out THC gummies at night (<5mg dose, very low but was told it could make huge difference if I cut it ) & was actually able to sleep with just melatonin & a magnesium/l-theanine/vitamin b complex mixed gummy.
Today, I decided decided to try something new since yesterday was so drastic. I took 40 this morning, no coffee whatsoever. Protein breakfast shortly after, tons of water. No caffeine. Within 40 minutes of taking it, I literally felt like I’d been shot with a tranq dart. I’d just woken tho…. Wtf. Anything or anyone that I had been worried about or I was thinking about, could not give two shits. Even got a bit nauseous. I legit pushed some shit to the side & I curled up on my couch; getting to my bedroom even seemed too much. Pulled the blanket over me and fell asleep. Right before doing this I was like well, Fuck it, if I’m gonna go to sleep and today is a waste (adhd pressure to accomplish a lot of shit I’ve left pile up, since during my work week i can get zero things done at home), I might as well take the other stuff now, so I took my Wellbutrin, and .25 Klonopin.
Now I’ve woken up, and don’t feel great, but at least don’t feel like a zombie. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I could sit here and just stare at the wall. So I’m thinking the 40 was too much at once, but now I have no idea what to do. It’s been about 2.5 hrs since taking it.
I feel like Coffee might turn me into a monster, but also can’t just sit here like a bump on the log all day. I’ve even tried to get up and start doing some shit and I just end up standing there. I feel just enough now that sleep can’t happen, so I can’t rest.
I truly don’t know what to do- I can’t even relax and watch TV or anything. At this point I might try the booster in a little bit. The crash yesterday sucked, but at least I got shit done in a normal, not speedy, just handling shit kind of way, albeit having to booster quite a bit & shit crash.
Has anyone experienced this? Really frustrated (and due to past issues, I can’t take Adderall or other IR meds.) Vyvanse or nothing- which I also can’t go back to doing.
I’ve had such a varied experience, depending on so many factors, I’m just trying to find the sweet spot where I feel normal, and could use some input. Thanks.

Hey everyone,I'm facing a challenging situation with someone named Ben whose autistic and I'm looking for advice on how to handle it sensitively. Personally I think I’m a bit bias, I’ve never liked Ben, in fact I disliked him. But at the same time I try to be nice to him. Ben has been part of our friend group for a while, but he throws fits every week or 2 from slapping people to getting pushed & shouting over the smallest thing, he then comes back to us and says he was just having an “autistic moment”.
I really have no idea if I am bias or not since there are other people in the group who somehow like him (possibly because he is much much nicer to them).
After all of this, someone wise who I look up to told me that I become who I surround myself with (cheesy and random I know) but this and support from one of my closest friends is what led us to mute him on Discord.
When he found out, he left the server angrily. We're worried because he has a history of doing things irrationally, and suicidal behavior, like a not so recent overdose attempt on melatonin.
After leaving, he rejoined our server, but some of us made a new one without him that became our primary hangout spot.
Now that school is starting again, we want to navigate this situation without hurting him further while also ensuring everyone's well-being.
We also want to find a way to fully remove Ben from the friend group so we aren’t surrounded with this toxicity, but we want to do it in a way that doesn't trigger any irrational behavior from him.
Any advice at all, or insights on how to approach this would be greatly appreciated. We care about Ben's well-being but also want to maintain a healthy dynamic in our friend group.
Also please know that any hate I have towards him isn’t because of his condition, rather who he is and his outlook on life, though some could argue that’s caused by his condition.
Thanks for any help you can offer.

Hey everyone,I'm facing a challenging situation with someone named Ben whose autistic and I'm looking for advice on how to handle it sensitively. Personally I think I’m a bit bias, I’ve never liked Ben, in fact I disliked him. But at the same time I try to be nice to him. Ben has been part of our friend group for a while, but he throws fits every week or 2 from slapping people to getting pushed & shouting over the smallest thing, he then comes back to us and says he was just having an “autistic moment”.
I really have no idea if I am bias or not since there are other people in the group who somehow like him (possibly because he is much much nicer to them).
After all of this, someone wise who I look up to told me that I become who I surround myself with (cheesy and random I know) but this and support from one of my closest friends is what led us to mute him on Discord.
When he found out, he left the server angrily. We're worried because he has a history of doing things irrationally, and suicidal behavior, like a not so recent overdose attempt on melatonin.
After leaving, he rejoined our server, but some of us made a new one without him that became our primary hangout spot.
Now that school is starting again, we want to navigate this situation without hurting him further while also ensuring everyone's well-being.
We also want to find a way to fully remove Ben from the friend group so we aren’t surrounded with this toxicity, but we want to do it in a way that doesn't trigger any irrational behavior from him.
Any advice at all, or insights on how to approach this would be greatly appreciated. We care about Ben's well-being but also want to maintain a healthy dynamic in our friend group.
Also please know that any hate I have towards him isn’t because of his condition, rather who he is and his outlook on life, though some could argue that’s caused by his condition.
Thanks for any help you can offer.