Hi everyone! I found out something that I'm not supposed to know and I'm so happy and giddy I'm bubbling over and have to share it somewhere. Recently my partner (28m) and I (28f) went engagement ring shopping and picked out my ring after being together about 3.5 years. I am absolutely obsessed with the ring, and I could not love him more. During dinners in order to get off our phones, we usually play a board game together on his iPad and one night near the end of March, it was my turn while he was eating and a confirmation email came through from the jewelers "thank you for your purchase!" Fast forward 6 weeks, and he leaves work but cryptically says he has to "run a quick errand" and turns his location off, gone exactly long enough to make the trip to the jewelers and back home.
I don't know when specifically its coming but my birthday is at the end of this month and I know its coming soon. Im so ecstatic and even though I know there will plenty of stress during the wedding planning process, I literally can't take the smile off my face. I am trying my hardest not to ruin the surprise for either of us, I'm just so happy its finally here.
So, what do you wish someone had told you during this exciting pre-/early engagement time? What are your best tips and advice for someone in my position?

Hello! I (N14) recently wanted to talk to my dad. My parents got divorced last year and I didn't get to talk to him one on one honestly since then. I arranged the meeting in a park near my school (just in case I wanted my mom to pick me up). There was a list of things I wanted to talk to him about. Things I felt like we needed to be honest to each other about and to start making a bond.
- I resent him for years of drinking and neglect. He never apologized or even acknowledged it, He acts like I haven't been there during covid and like I didn't see him drunk. I'm scared of drinking and alcohol because of him. I just wanted him to apologize and to acknowledge
- I wanted to get to know him as a person. I know him as a dad, but as a normal guy, no. I wanted to build more friendly connection with him and something more then just parent/child relationship. I wanted more friend/friend relationship with him (like the one I have with my mom) or "acutance" someone I can talk to more freely. I'm just tired of trying to figure out who my dad is from other people. I want to know who he is from him.
- I wanted him to join my church. I understand that my dad is entitled to his own opinions on religion and that he is not obligated to join anything. I'm not forcing him into it, and never will. Religion is something that a person should decide for themselves. You can never force a person into religion. But i just thought that religion is something we can bond from. I wanted him to go to church with my on Saturdays (my church is on Saturdays, yes) since i I'm part of the youth group/English service crew (Also my church is not English only, we are Rus/Eng church).
- It's ok for him to start dating. I always felt like my dad thought that I resented my mom for dating someone right after the divorce (My mom DID NOT CHEAT, she just met her boyfriend at a gathering before the divorce). Plus I think my dad still views my mom as his wife, and he feels like he is cheating on her. I wanted to set that straight with him that no matter who he, or my mom dates, I'll view them as my only parents (I'm defiantly not in the age range of needing another father or a stable male figure)
- I need him to stop treating me like a kid. I understand that he is my dad and has the right to parent me. But i do not like when he is trying to get into my business and parent me there. I can figure out my own relationships with people. If his help is needed, I will tell him if needed, but I do not need him contently be over me ,worried. I still think he sees me as his little "girl", but It's just getting on my nerves and just makes more stressed then I'm already. I wanted to set that clear boundary with him.
These were the main points that I wanted to bring up with him. Sadly, I didn't have the courage to talk to him on all topics. The only ones I got to were church, dating and understanding him more. He was happy that I didn't hate him for wanting to date. He didn't want to go to church with me (he hates them and people talking "down to him"? that what he said). He was good with me wanting to get to know him more. He admitted that I never really got to know him because he was gone for 4 years of my life, trying to settle in America. I was happy with how our convo went. But also i was really disappointed? I know I shouldn't say things like that about my father but... I feel like he is trying to groom me in a way. Not sexually ofc! But more like... Domestic abuse wise. He abused my mother when they were married and I feel like he wanted that for me to.
Also important thing is. Is that i got physically sick from talking to him. I think I was under so much stress from just talking to him, I got sick. I'm scared of him. that scares me.
Ill finish this post off, If you need any clarifications, ask! <3 (also English is not my first language so If i made any mistakes or might have phrased myself in an incorrect manner, I'm really sorry. :[ )

I’ve accidentally broken the boycott twice. The first time, I hadn’t eaten in a while, so I bought fries at McDonald’s. This was about two days into the boycott. Some two months in, I ordered a gift for my then-partner’s birthday on Amazon. I only remembered these incidents recently
Neither of these actions were done with the intent of breaking the boycott, they were stupid and entirely forgetful mistakes. I feel incredibly guilty about this, and if I could take it back I would, and I’m set on fixing my mistake. I’ve donated around (probably over) double what I gave to these companies to Palestinian families in their evacuation GFMs. I’m an impoverished person who’s on disability income support so I don’t have a lot of money but I’m more than happy to do whatever I can to fix my god awful evil mistake. What should I do?

Last Sunday, I took my mom out along with some of my titas for a Mother's Day dinner. One of the titas brought her own mom along, which makes it the first time I've met auntie (auntie nalang kesa lola).
Over the course of the dinner, we were just chatting, exchanging updates blah blah when auntie asked how old I am.
"25 po", I answered.
"Ay nasa tamang edad na pala. Mag-asawa ka na", auntie said enthusiastically.
At this age I've already heard this comment a million times kaya sinasabayan ko nalang. "San po yung aasawahin? Nasa labas na po ba?" which made them laugh. I thought that was the end of it. Unfortunately, she really won't let it go. We'll move to another topic but she'll find a way to circle back to my single-ness.
Several exchanges would include:
Auntie: Sa ganyang edad, kasal na ko. Magpakasal ka na para mabigyan mo na ng apo yang mama mo. Maganda na naman trabaho mo, makakabuhay ka na ng bata. (I'm an only child)
Me: Ay nako, hindi ko pa po afford. Mga ganitong dinner pa lang po ang afford ko, hindi ko pa kaya gatas at diaper. (I paid for the dinner, Mother's Day eh)
Auntie: Sayang ganda mo kung di ka magkakaanak. Wag din naman kasi masyadong mataas ang standard.
Me: Ay auntie kayo na po nagsabi na maganda ako, sayang kung hindi ako pipili nang mabuti.
Auntie: Sige ka tatanda kang mag-isa niyan katulad nitong anak ko (referring to my tita, who brought her along)
Me: Okay na pong wala auntie, kesa mali. Hehe
On the drive back home, my mom also said auntie would still talk about how I should start dating na. I'm also grateful my mom has my back because she told auntie na she trusts me enough to know what's good for me and she's not rushing me.
I know auntie didn't mean to offend, it's just that that's how they were back in their day. Unfortunately auntie, iba na po ngayon and I appreciate your concern but I'm fine and I'll be fine :)
LOVE YOU, MUM! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND I'M GRATEFUL I DON'T HEAR THOSE KINDS OF COMMENTS FROM YOU!!

Hi everyone. Today I got my first job after completing masters after numerous rejections, cold calls and mass applications. The whole process took me 8-9 months (I was doing part time job for first few months to pay for rent and food but later resigned to focus on interviews). I know I should be happy, right? But after all this time, all I have become is an empty shell of a human being.
I suffer from depression and ADHD(diagnosed a year back) and they had made my life miserable. The meds used to work but have stopped working since Jan 2024. I never made them an excuse to stop me from working even though towards end of the job hunt period, they heavily impacted my productivity and health. I have no support system, no friends. Family lives in another country and they have their own set of problems so I try not to bother them. As people are graduating, I see lot of folks at this time of year celebrating their graduation with friends, partners and family. I didn't go to mine because I didn't feel like going. I saw the photos of my peers who graduated alongside me. Even though most of them don't have a job but they all seem happy (and I am happy for them as well) and I..I just feel nothing for myself. I needed a job because of some financial issues my family and I are facing. But as a result, I have gained weight, the meds have led to terrible mood swings and affected my skin. I feel very awkward when I try to socialize as I haven't been to many social event during the job hunt phase. The job hunt has caused a serious burnout that I don't like looking my email account anymore. I got some good interviews at the end but I was so burned like toast and couldn't prepare at all that I failed most of them, repeating the cycle. Luckily,I got one offer after so much rejections.
Now it just dawned me as I was seeing others graduation pictures, I just cried and wished I could smile and be happy like them. I don't remember the last time I laughed or had a good time. Whenever I wake up, I hate looking myself in the mirror because I look so fucking ugly because of all the weight gain and side effects from my meds. I have endured enough pain from the start of my masters, mother having cancer (luckily treatable as of now) ,my partner of 3 years cheating on me and all this happened while I was moving to another country to start my masters. But I rebuilt myself after all this, worked out for 1.5 years straight, lost weight and gained muscle, improved my grades and heck, even dated for a while. On top of that, I even scored a job but unfortunately last October, my team was laid off so I had to begin looking for new options.
Now I am back to square one. Even I have job, I have nothing left inside of me. I feel like a dead person waking up just to complete my chores. I have made no friends or partners over the course of my education. Maybe I will get back on my feet in sometime but all this have started to make me believe that I am just a statistic in this world and it doesn't matter what I want or care about. There are loads like me, who come and go. I have tried enough to make friends or partners but haven't worked. I won't stop but over the time, it just have strengthened my belief that its okay that I will probably die alone. I don't care about anything anymore, have lost so much to let it all go. Probably I will start working on myself again and involve myself in hobbies and therapy but it won't eradicate the feeling of loneliness I have felt over the past years and bring some peace within me that's it alright to die alone. Maybe I will start something in future to help underprivileged children to get somewhere in life so they don't feel like me(not alone or left out). Anyways, I will try my best to stay positive and survive.
PS: Congratulations to all of you who graduated this spring and who also got a job. Those who are still doing job hunting, don't burnout and make sure you listen to your body. It's hard time but you don't have to make it hard for yourself and be with some friends who are in similar position like you as they will understand and help. Best of luck.

So I started dating my first love it’s gonna be 2 years in 3 months and I stuck on the past nd look at our memories and we started dating when I was in a fucked up space toxic rude asfc and he still wanted to be Wimmie nd I ended up breaking up with him Bcs I was going thru shii and my brother I grew up with moved far away from me nd he was all I had and I told him I can’t be with him nd I ran away from home buh he was hurt thay we broke up and I didn’t feel nothing not even bothered that he was hurt I was so nonchalant we got into a big argument 3 months later after the break up it was nasty a lot of hurtful stuff was said from both sides expect I did him worse nd hit under the belt and he had unfollowed me and months went by I gotten to grow as a person I changed a lot to the point were my frens always bring up how much I changed he seemed fined nd moved on around his birthday I got sad nd started to realize the way I treated was bad and shii and I regret it nd I needed the right closure form him I felt hurt and I felt like I got a delayed heartbreak I texted him hoping I could get the closure or even get back with him and how Munich I changed nd he didn’t wanna accept I changed he made me feel like shii he was saying how much he better with out me and he gots to be on drugs or fucked up in the head to get back with. Me and that he doing so much better nd he don’t wanna relive our memories and I was such a bad person and it was a mistake for us to get together nd that he should of believed his frens and how he met more guys that make him happy I was a bad person all I responed with ok I’m sorry das all I could say I’m sorry and I said I’m happy for you and proud your making a better life for yourself and shii nd he was a dick to me when I told him that ive grown and he told me hurtful stuff and i changed to a beautiful person and I wish I could love him again I later found out he got with one of my ex frens and not to mention I got on medication cus I didn’t wnana get off bed cus I rlly believed I was a bad person and I felt guilty and I would cry felt like shii I didn’t even eat buh I don’t mean to play victim cus I did treat him like shii when I was in a bad space I wished him nothing but the best in life and I look back at our pictures and I miss him and I start to cry cus I rlly fumbled a guy who was trying to give me the world while mine was falling my apart and I wish I could js get the proper closure from him buh he don’t wanna ever see nd tells me to move on

Hi relationship_advice,
Some key points before you read; I moved to Orlando, FL from Washington state in February of 2023. It was closer to family and I had a lot of friends here. I truly love it here. I’m convinced there is something mentally not-okay with my mother and we’ve had a hot/cold relationship for years. My dad divorced her and got re-married to her and these days just puts up with it. We used to have a significantly better relationship but this has frankly tarnished all of that and he just puts up with it. My parents are real-estate investors in the Orlando area and generally buy some of terrible homes in even worse areas and somehow find renters. They act like they’re mansions but they truly are terrible. I’m 28 years old.
When I initially moved here, I got my own apartment in a great suburb of Orlando. My parents helped me move and were really excited for me to get back on this coast. At some point during my residency, my parents brought up a notion to attempt to “help” me by buying me a house. My credit is shot and there is no way I qualify for a conventional mortgage. Maybe before the big short but certainly not in today’s housing climate. I didn’t actively reach out to them for this sort of assistance but I toyed with the idea.
Given the fact that they are real-estate investors, their interest rate was going to be somewhere in the realm of 7%. That left me with a max value of about a $400,000 house in order to be comfortable with the payment. Daily my mom would send me listings to some of the shittiest homes I’ve ever seen and get upset when I say I don’t like it. That would generally be when I would cut off the conversation after I’m told I’m “ungrateful”. Mind you they haven’t even done anything yet.
Months pass and I find a decent townhome in a location that I’ve always wanted to live in. It’s a townhome that has 2beds, 2baths and was about $380K. In an effort to make my parents happy and not be so “ungrateful” I agreed that they can put an offer on it. Mind you this house is one that I would likely never buy with my own money, but given the interest rate I sort of had to stick with it.
The agreement was that they would put down $100K for the house, I pay the full escrow (mortgage payment, PMI, taxes and HOA dues) and, when it comes time to sell, I would get every dollar above the selling price. It was an enticing deal to get some equity that I otherwise wouldn’t get living in an apartment complex. This was all something that was verbally discussed and I can’t find any physical copy of this being said either over text or another medium.
I broke my least and move in came in October of 2023 which also happened to be when I met my beautiful and loving girlfriend who I am extremely happy with. My parents came over in December for Christmas and I actually had my girlfriend stay in my house while my parents were in town so we can all do stuff together. I thought it went well. My parents met her family, my friends and we generally had a great time.
That apparently wasn’t their idea of the week and they are super upset that my girlfriend basically lives here. Text exchanges with my mother generally result in me being called a disgrace, ungrateful, disrespectful, etc.
At the end of the day this is all stemming from the fact that I got a girlfriend, they apparently don’t like her, are losing control of me and now we’re both suffering navigating business and family. It’s taking a huge toll on me to the point where I woke up today and cried after receiving another demeaning text from my mother. That same person they hate was there to comfort me.
How should I navigate this? Every time I try to talk about it it just turns into an attack where she says some terrible things about me and my partner. Is it healthier for me to just cut ties? I’m at a loss. Being worried about my living situation everyday is really taking a toll at this point and I don’t have it in me to start another argument. Almost daily now I get random texts at random hours of the day with her picking a fight. There is no clear path to a cordial conversation.
Your guidance is appreciated.

It's only been a few days but I'm missing you... Not the you I met 2 days ago that ended our relationship but the you that I cared for, the you that had me hooked.
You have no idea how hard it was for me to ask for a slow down, to take a step back from where we were, to put my feelings out there for you to crush. You have no idea... And yet, here I am, feeling guilty that I hurt you, that our relationship is over, that I'm just one more person you can blame for your life being so bad.
You claimed to be a great Christian man but your foul language and anger showed zero ounces of God in you. That was the moment I began to question our future together... That's the moment I realized you are a "victim", that's when I realized I couldn't keep going at the rate we were. Your dark side was too much for me to handle.
The texts you kept sending after you called it off, the hurt you put me through... You couldn't have loved me as much as you said because when I said "step back" , you decided I meant I didn't want to be with you. Never once did I say that. It was 3 weeks and you wanted to move in together and discuss marriage. I don't think you could tell me right now when my birthday is and that's what I meant by step back... I wanted us to go back to 20 questions, get to know each other, find out if this would work... But you said all or nothing and I can't offer all that fast.
I have questioned my decision ever since that night, and without a shadow of doubt, I made the right choice because you blame everyone else for your "misfortune"... Except they didn't force you to hurt them every day for 20 years. You did that all on your own. I can't be with a man who claims to be Christian but who can say and do the hurtful things you do. I miss the you from the beginning but the person you really are is letting me let you go for good.
I pray for your peace and happiness.

My ex boyfriend and I broke up after dating for over 3 years. I had a big feeling he would move on fast, we broke up before for 3 months because he chose another girl over me (he ended up coming back). Fast forward we broke 5 months ago, I was really hoping he would come back this time again.
He posted a happy Mother’s Day post of his new pregnant girlfriend. Which they’ve been together for four months. Idk yo i just wanted some advice on how to get over your ex. When I tell you I’ve been crying nonstop these last 5 months over this man, don’t even ask me how I am after I found out about the baby, I am a straight mess. I’m at the point where I never want to be in another relationship again.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Old_Cranberry_2783 posting in elationship_advice
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 12th May 2024
Update - 13th May 2024
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My (F25) husband (M30) says our house will never be mine. How do I move past this?
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Me and my husband have been married for almost one year, and have been together for 7.
I work a job in media while he works as a therapist of sorts.. we have been living in my inherited home that has been in my family for many years. Over the past few years, we have both agreed the house and the location is just not ideal. With the housing market being what it is, we have sucked it up and continued to live here.
Recently we were offered to purchase my husbands family home. It’s a good house that needs a lot of work but I am confident we can do what we need to for under $15,000 in renovations, so we are planning to move there and begin renovating!
We were both happy and excited until the other day when we were talking about it, out of nowhere he told me “I want you to know this house will never be yours. If we divorce or anything, you will have no right to live there anymore.” And I found this hurtful and odd. This was never a discussion in the years we have lived in our current home. I would never plan on taking his family home if we were to separate, but it felt like a stab to the heart especially when we are trying to have kids.. I told him “it would be a marital asset since I’m paying half the mortgage and half the renovations. I would never fight you for the house but I don’t plan on getting divorced” - this made him very upset. He said he would rather not move in if there’s a chance a judge would determine I had any rights over the home. Was I wrong? How do I move past this with him?
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Comments
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Ihateyou1975
So from what I understand. It’s a family home BUT you are paying on the mortgage halfsies and paying to renovate? And he said no to you having ownership at all? Then hell nah. He can purchase it on his own. Renovate it on his own. And you keep yours as a backup from this point forward. Rent it out and YOU keep that income.

OOP: This opened my eyes. We are going to definitely have another conversation about how we would go about this purchase.

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ZestycloseSky8765
I really hope you don’t sell your home and make contributions to something he straight told you wasn’t yours.
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Update - 1 day later
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So there was a lot of questions from many people who saw my last post, so I figured I would answer some of them and also update on the situation.
My family home was inherited. There was no mortgage. We paid our bills and taxes evenly between the two of us, and same with any repairs the home needed.
His mother is selling us the house at a $25,000 discount from what she listed it for on the market.
My husband was not on the deed to my family home. This home was not going to be sold. It is a home that has been passed down exclusively to family members at virtually no cost, so a mortgage hasn’t been held on it in many decades. The house would be going to my sister as she is welcoming her second child soon!
Now for the update:
Me and my husband agreed to go to breakfast together this morning since our Mother’s Day plans didn’t start until lunch. At breakfast I brought up the topic of the house we are going to buy. I told him about how the things he said hurt my feelings and made me insecure about where he stands in our marriage.
He told me after seeing his dad lose his family home in a divorce, it was scary to think our kids could possibly lose it if we were to separate. He apologized and told me he never ever thought of getting a divorce, but nobody does until it’s happening. He said he was wrong to say the things he did and that he let anxiety control the way he spoke and it was unfair to me.
We agreed that I would be put on the deed, and agreed to start the process of a postnup agreement for the home among some other things. I addressed feeling like maybe he had a feeling he was going to leave or cheat and that’s why he was so defensive. He felt hurt by that and told me that was his fear when getting married, that he would be cheated on or worse, have kids involved in that mess. I told him I felt the same.
We both agreed the most comfortable we would feel would be us BOTH being on the deed to the home, and getting a postnuptial agreement with an infidelity clause. We are both anxious people and I understand where he was coming from with wanting that. It stung a bit at first that he wanted an infidelity clause but we agreed it would do nothing but benefit us both if either of us were to go beyond our marriage in that way.
So tldr- we are both being put on the deed, we are getting a postnuptial agreement + infidelity clause and we had a very mature and emotional conversation about how we felt. Thank you all for your advice, it gave me a very good idea of what to research before I brought it up to him and we are setting up a meeting with a lawyer to start the process on Monday!
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Comments
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Jack_F2291
I’m glad that everything seems to have worked out :)

OOP: Very much so! I think I was a bit dramatic about the things he said and he was a bit harsh and not thinking through what he said. It happens to the best of us but my mind is put at ease now thankfully

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call-me-mama-t
I don’t think you were dramatic at all, you were protecting yourself. Good for you! Since you are newly married, this is a really great lesson for you both. Learn to communicate, turn to each other when you’re upset about something. Meaning don’t go complain about your spouse to friends, you talk to him and figure it out together. Great outcome!
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

i joined this subreddit just to get different views and perspectives on this, but does anyone feel like they could just drop on the floor and sob whenever they hear pieces of music, whether it connects with them personally or not?
whenever i would hear a piece, whether it's just from spotify or something or played live with instruments and what not, i would just feel such a connection to where i feel like sobbing? it's not sad sobbing but it's like "this thing has touched my heart" type sobbing. but, whether it's the composers main point to make you feel sad or not, i feel so overwhelmed that i could cry. i share a deep connection with music and i feel it to my CORE when i hear it, especially when it's played with live instruments (piano, violin, etc)
ive shared so much of a deep connection with music as a kid that up until recently, ive never realized how much it impacted my life. both as a person and as someone who is 18 and still growing. when i was 9, i asked for a piano for my birthday and wanted to start playing so bad but never knew where to start. till this day, i occasionally try to play songs and try to practice note reading but i cant seem to do it and it saddens me a lot because it's kinda restraining me from showing who i am, and how much i love it.
i express myself through music, even though i myself dont play. and i dont think anyone really understands how much it changed my life. every time i hear something great, i feel like crying so bad. not only because its something important to me, but because its so magical. i can't even tell you how many times i've cried at talent shows and live performances where they play songs on the piano, it's just so surreal. i feel so happy when i listen to music and i can't ever explain why because people don't understand how much it flutters my heart. people think i just "like" it. no, it's way more than just liking it.

I am 36 years old. I don't have any friends. I haven't been in a relationship in two years. I don't make as much money as I would like. I am have a really slow recovery from a tonsillectomy and I am just having a hard time getting myself motivated to do anything.
I had one pretty good friend, an ex, and we went on a platonic trip together in March. I had a really good time and generally enjoyed myself. Got to see Chichen Itza and get some fun in at the cenotes and beach. Since then we haven't hung out though. In her texts she said the guy she has been seeing is moving out of town in a few months so she is spending time with him. She has dated him off and on for 20+ years and this has never been an issue before so I do feel like some of this is also just fatigue of hanging out with me. We didn't get in any fights on the trip but it did show we have much different priorities/personalities. She brought her dogs, they go everywhere with her, and one is incontinent so it was dictating quite a bit of our schedule but I am pretty used to this so I felt like I handled it fairly well. I also do think some of this is her boyfriend not wanting us to hangout, which is understandable. I just said No worries and we haven't talked since. She didn't message me on my birthday, but I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't remember. We have been hanging out regularly for 2-3 years so it is a bit of a hit, but it was something that felt ultimately was going to happen so I am not mad, just a little sad. I haven't hung out with anyone other than my dad since the middle of March though.
Just hurts to not have anyone to hangout with at all. I have talked to two coworkers and one of them has bailed on me multiple times and the other just said he was too busy to make any plans in the first place. I have done meetups in the past but I always just feel so awkward not knowing anyone and I am awful at initiating contact with anyone, guys or girls. I also just don't really have that many interests, even though I tend to enjoy most things I do. I own a dirt bike but haven't gotten out to use it because it is really hard to load by myself and I am just not that confident with it. And if I am doing anything alone without somebody else keeping me accountable I tend to just blow it off. I have also tried Bumble BFF but honestly was so turned off by it. I kept on getting hit on, creepy af, and it just feels awkward.
I feel like I am bad at making friends because I am not very personable and also tend to overshare and say stupid things just because I haven't talked to anyone in so long it is just kind of like a dam bursts.
I would like to get back into judo or jujitsu, but with college and my mortgage I am barely squeaking by financially, and 200+ a month is a little too much for me. I even canceled my cable plan to save some money for bills despite loving basketball. I also don't really have enough energy for active hobbies due to my tonsillectomy right now.
I work full time and am taking college classes at the same time. I was never the best student, but I have finished 9 computer science courses and a statistics class over the last 2.5 years. I have 5 classes left for my bachelors and am on course to graduate Spring 2025. Straight A's and one B+ so far so I have been really happy with my grades, but the industry has completely fallen apart over the last year or two and I am worried that after investing all this time and money into going back to college I might not be able to get a job. The best student I know wasn't able to land a single internship this summer and that really shocked me. He is an amazing programmer, better than anyone I know.
Because I have a mortgage on a little duplex I cannot really afford to do an internship to try and help my job prospects, I am going to really have to rely on doing well in the interviews. I am also planning on trying to take advantage of the career fairs and other on-campus opportunities next fall but that is so not my comfort zone that I don't want to set my expectations really.
With how busy I am it has also been a great excuse for myself to not pursue more social outlets and the only thing I do for dating is online apps and while I can get the occasional date I don't think I have ever actually had a real connection through it. I am just bad at connecting with people on a personal level, be it friends or dates. I have been on so many first dates it is kind of depressing. The town I live in isn't small, like 150k, but I feel like I am running low on options after years of failures.
I had been suffering from chronic tonsillitis over the last year. I had 5 bouts in total, three of which were back to back episodes from January to March this year. I got a tonsillectomy on April 20 and am still having problems swallowing food. I am basically still on a puree diet.
Getting the tonsillectomy was a real eye opener for me because with my ex not being a contact anymore I didn't have anyone to rely on so I had to have my father fly out and spend a week with me. I didn't have any friends to rely on and it really just kind of hit me how depressing my life is. All of my old high school friends, who I don't keep up with, have families.
The one thing I had going for me is that I had a decent physique. Due to a lack of a social life I was pretty good at going to the gym and lifting regularly. I was 6'1 and 180-185 pounds, nothing impressive but I was happy with myself. I am down to 160 pounds now since my tonsillectomy though and I am just extremely low energy all the time. My summer class started today and I am having a lot of issues just focusing after an 8-hour work day, even though I only work remotely on a computer.
During COVID I really made leaps and bounds to improve myself. I quit cigarettes after 15 years, I started going back to class. Got my own place and gained 40 pounds (in a good way) but after losing half of that weight and generally being miserable from my tonsillectomy it is just so hard to motivate myself to even go to the gym anymore and for 3 years I never had a problem getting off my butt to go to the gym, even if it was just for a mediocre lifting session.
I used to love playing video games and watching tv shows/movies but now I just find myself mindlessly watching youtube or reading and don't even have the attention span or interest in booting up a video game anymore or trying to find a show or movie to watch.
I always wanted a family, but I have never really had a successful relationship in my life and now since my tonsillectomy I have become a lot less sexually motivated than before. I don't even have the urge to masturbate anymore, and sex was never a strong point of mine in the first place, leading me to believe it will be even worse moving forward. I also just have never connected with somebody on like a really deep level and feel like years of failures/insecurity just kind of burden me a this point. And I am getting to the age now where I feel like I am almost beyond the point where this is still possible. It is weird telling somebody I am 36 and my longest relationship was only 4 months long.
I feel like I am on the right track on paper with only one year left until I graduate and I kind of really want to move even though I love where I live just so I can get a fresh start, but at the same time I am terrified I will graduate and just be in the same situation I am currently in. I also could never afford to buy another place without a better salary. The only reason I was able to afford what I currently have is because I bought during the 2020 market and got a 2.34% APR. But even with that my mortgage is close to 40% of my take home right now and I have one of the cheapest places in town.
I don't really have anyone to vent to or destress to so I just wanted to post something from a throwaway account. My dad has been texting me daily because I think he realizes how unhappy I am and I really appreciate that.
I have been wanting to go see some Nuggets games at the bar, but I still cannot drink alcohol until I am eating food again so I have just been following highlights on youtube. I also have never been a fan of hanging out at bars. I enjoy shooting pool but I am not good at social settings like that.
I will leave it at this for now. A very long, poorly formatted ramble. But I have seen much worse. Thanks.

This is going to be a long one so heads up.
A bit of back story; I started dating my husband when I was 15. I chased this boy thorugh hell and back just to get a chance. Problems between us were immediate but didn't seem significant at the time. A few months into our relationship he had an adult "friend" that was telling him he needed to get control of me or "put me in my place" (referencing he should hit me). He didn't but the ego it gave him was a hard battel. 8 months into our relationship my mother forced me to move states because I was starting the process of emancipation and she didn't like that. I was still going through with it, it was just a buffer. 2 weeks after I left he was flirting with my friends. We were on and off for 3 months long distance before I said I had enough. When my emancipation was complete (6 months after I moved and about 3 months after we officially split) I let him know because we were still in touch. It was a few days after that he decided he wanted to try things again and came to me. Just a few days of being with me he decided he wanted to go home, with or without me. I reluctantly agreed to go with him even though I was comfortable where I was. We stayed in a trailer for months in the snow with no power or heat but I toughed it out. Eventually we moved in with his family. During that time he broke up with me multiple times to mess aground with other girls. We ended up moving again and he would be gone all the time hanging out with his friends. There were nights I would beg him, crying, for him to just come home and he would refuse We ended up moving again and spent some time with my family (i was 17). 3 days in he called his mom to have someone pick him up. He regretted it and I went and picked him up and brought him back. A few months after that he decided to leave again. 3 days later I was feeling weird. I just had an odd feeling, I didn't miss my period or anything but I had a friend get me a pregnancy test anyway. It came out positive. I didn't want kids, I never did. But I decided to keep the baby because he wanted to. He promised a better life. So he comes and picks me up and we move back in with his family. Everything was going great. Then I miscarried. After the miscarriage he was upset, he was really excited about having a kid. We talk about it and he talked me into trying for one on purpose, his family agreed with this. He promised to drop the weed, drop the beer, get a job and work his ass off for us. That never really happened. So here I am 17, and 5 months pregnant, he has 3 tall cans of beer in his system and starts being an ass. We get into it and he lays his hands on me. I locked him out of the room that night. So he finally drops the alcohol for good. We end up moving again. We got married the day I turned 18 because of his religious family. We fought about the weed and he "quit". But in reality he was just doing it behind my back. He would get mad at me for calling people out on their fake service dogs (I have a service dog and the fakes put me at great risk). He held a job for a really long time, making good money, and spoiling the shit out of me. Eventually we argue about the weed again. I almost left but he said he wouldn't be doing it anymore. Then again we argue about the weed, this time I agree to let him have dab carts. 2 a week. He ended up with between 3-5 a week. Things were really good for a long time after that.
Keep in mind everything I listed was not the entire relationship. Between all these bad moments there are lots of great ones. I have thousands of happy pictures and videos of us.
Now to recently. We moved back to our hometown. He spent a lot of time hanging out with his buddies and leaving me with the baby. He started smoking flower again and had the sudden urge to drink again. I was alone 90% of the time. So where do I go? I have a boy best friend that has been through hell and back with me since the first day of middle school. So I spent a lot of time hanging out with him while my husband was off fucking around like a child. Then the weird questions came in. "Are you doing anything with him while I'm gone?" "Your not cheating on me right?" Ect. No I wasn't. About a week ago I told my bsf I was picking him up from work. While I was in the parking lot waiting my husband calls insiting I pick him up first. I told him no because I didn't have room in the car for both and I was already there waiting. Well that started this whole fit about how asking him to wait 10 minutes was prioritizing my bsf over my husband. Eventually we get to my friends house, and my husband was waiting for us. He was just talking shit and being an ass for 20 minutes before he decided to leave in MY CAR. We argue over text for a while and then he tells me he's done with me. Fine. I give up. I don't care anymore. Then 30 minutes later he's accusing me of cheating with my bsf. He has told all his friends and family that I'm a hoe (my body count is 2 including him and the other one is NOT my bsf). My bsf has been doing his best to take care of me and help me out. Feeding me, taking over the baby, putting gas in my car, letting me stay the night. He's been a life saver for me.
Now it's a week later and he's asking if there is a chance we can work things out in the future... I love him I really do. He has lots of issues tho but so do I. My BPD makes me hard to handle sometimes as do my other mental and health problems.
I'm sure I know what the answer is already but what do I do? I'm a mess.

Look... I'm going to start this out by saying that I think suicide is a shitty thing to do. I lost my wife in September of last year. She took her own life. She was troubled from a young age, depressed, and had been through a lot of trauma. I loved her. I still do. And I know she loved me. But you know what? Despite feeling this way about it, I still kind of want to say fuck it and make the same choices she did. Yeah, I'm angry at her. I'm pissed. Why wasn't I enough? But it really isn't about that. I've been where she was. I'm there now. In this space, all I really want is for the misery to fucking end. That's it. I want to feel okay and I don't. I need to cry and I can't. I don't want this loneliness anymore, man. I've lost a wife, mother and s sister in the last three years. I don't have much family left. No kids. Got myself a puppy to help. She really does. I'm responsible for this little dog and she needs me, I guess, so mostly I fight this shit for her. But right now I'm so tired of the fighting.
Mother's day sucks. I wish I could have been with my mom. My birthday is coming up and no one gives a shit. That's fine. It's not about that either. It's about the overwhelming loneliness couples with existential dread, shame, guilt and a lack of love for myself.
I'm ashamed because I started drinking again. I hate myself for it. I tried to numb the pain and it doesn't help anymore. I feel guilty for not being a better person. I've made shitty choices in life sometimes. We all do, but man... Fuck this
I want it to stop. I need it to stop. All I really want is companionship. I don't want to be lonely anymore. Being alone is destroying me. I'll never remarry. I don't really wanna date ever again. I will never stop loving my wife. I just wish I had people. I wish I could talk to someone. I wish that feeling of joy would come back to me. Wish I had a support system and that once in a while, someone would take some time to be there for me when I'm in these dark moments, but they can't. It's 1:00 in the fucking morning and normal people are sleeping. My dumbass can't sleep. Gonna be a long night.
I miss my wife. I miss my mom. I'm scared about the future. I feel so isolated. Nothing helps. But for now, I am going to try to fight this shit. I'm gonna try to resist the urge to pour a tall glass of vodka. I'm gonna try to be here tomorrow, because maybe someone will need me sometime. But fuck... Right now I need them and I'm so alone. I just want peace. Tired of all this fucking torment.
Next therapist visit is June 5 for me. Hopefully I can make it. I just don't know.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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My daughter’s birthday is May 8th. I never tried to make it about me and she never complained. Her childhood was hard. Her father had a mental illness that I did my best to protect her from and then he died unexpectedly when she was fourteen. I had to tell her in the high school guidance office because a first responder had posted it on Facebook and I wanted her to hear it from me first. She also has a brother that is 3 years older than her and a sister that is 2 years older than her.
Every year we celebrate her birthday as close to the date as we can. Some years it’s just a family party with grandparents and close siblings and cousins, other times we invite school friends. It depends on where we are in life and what we can afford.
When she was 8 we went to the crayola factory and both her and I got in free because Mother’s Day and her birthday fell on the same day but they made a huge deal about it being mothers day and I felt like she was forgotten.
When she was 10 my parents took her to New York City like they did for all there grand kids but insisted I came along to celebrate Mother’s Day.
The problem is that every year multiple people bring me gifts on her birthday and wish me a happy Mother’s Day.
This year she turned 18. It was a big deal. I had to work the day of her birthday and then she went away to celebrate with friends on a trip.
So we had a big family party a week later. I got her a cake with a fun lighthearted joke about surviving her childhood. The problem is she also got me a cake with a fun lighthearted joke on it.
I just wanted a day for her. Also her graduation is coming up. Maybe I can do something to make it up to her then.

So, I’ve officially resigned. Giving more than my notice period. But my company possibly wants me to stay longer.
Quote: “I ask for your flexibility in ensuring the business continues to meet the needs of the customer.”
To put things into perspective, I’m an expat. Company sponsored my visa, relocation cost etc. But things aren’t working out for my wife here, she wants to leave. And happy wife, happy life..
I don’t have a bond in my employment contract (not my fault..), just regular 1 month notice. So I’ve resigned. But now my company wants me to stay longer than my notice to ‘meet the needs of the customer’.
Am I obligated to stay? Or would it be outta goodwill?

I want to preface this by saying that my (27F) boyfriend's (35M) son (10M) is lovely, he's a great kid. I'm just not sure the stepparent life is for me. I feel like I get frustrated with him super easily. We have primary custody so we have him most of the time, and I don't love that everything in our schedule revolves around him and unfortunately, my boyfriend's ex's schedule. I pick up and drop off his son every day, and although I did offer, I now can't back out because my boyfriend's job starts much earlier than it used to, and in order to drop his son off, he would be 2 hours late to work. I find myself frustrated though that even if I let him know in advance there isn't really a way for me to get out of this schedule. I also feel bad because I'm dreading having him during the weekdays this summer, as I work from home but his son does not understand that me being on the computer is working, not playing games, so he's constantly talking to me, asking questions, bugging me about things to the point that I have trouble getting work done. I feel guilty asking him not to sit near me while I work, but he will play video games and make noises, make commentary, and talk to me while he does it, even if I ask him not to and remind him that I'm working. If I have headphones in he still does it as well.
I guess, as messed up as it sounds, I feel like I have the burdens of having a child without having my OWN child yet. I feel like a terrible person saying that because genuinely this kid is really great, and treats me very very well. He's always up in my business which is annoying but I'm assuming that's just a kid thing. All things considering, definitely the best step son you could ask for. And I absolutely love my boyfriend. He's far and away the best man I've dated, and I genuinely think he would be perfect for me... if it weren't for the fact that he has a child with someone else. I don't love the fact that we can't move (ex can veto us moving even into another school district), my ex still harbors a lot of anger for his ex and her parents (rightfully so, but I hate that it doesn't feel like he can just let it go), he doesn't want to go on vacations without his son, but taking him is a financial issue, along with the fact that all his son wants to do is play video games. Also we can't take him without his ex's permission, and she is really inflexible unfortunately.
At his mom's he can stay up until 2 am playing video games, eat literal quarts of ice cream each night, all the chips he wants, and do and say anything he wants. Which is super tough when he comes back here. My boyfriend seems resigned to certain things that personally I would be tougher about, but I respect the fact that he is the parent and makes the rules. But my boyfriend gets so worn down and frustrated that he ends up letting his son do things he wouldn't normally, because there's such a vast difference between what he is allowed to do at his moms house versus my boyfriend's.
His mom also has money from her parents, although surprise surprise, my boyfriend still has to pay alimony. However, they give his son money that he isn't allowed to bring here, so he ends up spending hundreds on video games. All of this has made him super spoiled and entitled, and it actually makes me upset because I don't want him to turn out being an entitled adult, not to mention I don't like dealing with an entitled child.
There's always a sense of awkwardness in terms of what his son can say to his mom and her parents, because they are constantly prying to find out more about me, about what goes on at my boyfriend's house, etc. It's like they are always trying to find something to use against us. It's become so bad that my boyfriend has had to tell his son to just be honest and tell them that all this asking about us makes him uncomfortable, because it does! And they've been trying to find out how much money I make, tried to argue to their lawyer that alimony should be changed because I'm contributing to the household. (Luckily that didn't go anywhere) But I feel like I'm constantly trying to hide something, like when they come pick him up I have to be out of sight, I can't be discussed, idk it's just weird. (To be clear, I've been open to meeting his ex, but she does not want to meet me.)
The best way to put this whole thing is that, I don't feel like this is OUR life. I feel like it's my boyfriend's life and I'm just living in it. He always says things won't always be this way but how much longer can I feel like an extra wheel in his life? He has already done everything, been married for a long time, had a child, etc. I feel like my life is just starting in so many ways. He doesn't agree with that train of thought but it is hard not to feel that way. Do I give up my perfect man because of his terrible situation? I know I would miss him like crazy and I would feel like I made the wrong choice, but I keep saying I'm going to decide after x time, and I keep extending it. I just don't know what to do. Will I ever feel like a priority in this relationship? Will I ever feel like this is my life and not just me playing house? I feel like such a fraud because I have people wishing me happy mothers day when I really just feel like a glorified babysitter, I'm not a mom, and although my boyfriend thinks I do great, I know that I'm not as patient as I should be with his son. I told him tonight that I don't enjoy being a stepparent, despite the fact that his son is really great. He didn't know how to react to that other than I could tell he was super sad, but I just felt like such a fake given how great everyone thinks I am with his son. I'm torn between leaving the perfect man, and facing the fact that although my boyfriend says things will get better, he can't really promise me that.

My parents' relationship wasn't always the ideal one. I grew up seeing their fights because of past issues like my dad's infidelities, my dad's toxic side of the family, etc. I grew up thinking that was the norm. Pero, hindi pala dapat ganun yung isang pamilya.
I grew up with my best friend pero we mostly spent time together in school since malayo bahay namin sa isa't isa. Fast forward to the time na lumipat sila malapit samin, so I got to spend most of my weekend afternoons with them a lot. That was also the time na kakauwi nina tito and tita from abroad for their house blessing. My HS weekends with them would usually consist of running sa morning tas lunch sa bahay nila. Minsan, hanggang hapon nandoon ako para manood lang kami ng tv sa sala, discuss ng news, mag-aral, tas makipagkwentuhan with the grandparents.
I still recall yung first lunch ko kasama sina tito and tita (since they live overseas for their business and holidays lang sila umuuwi), nanibago talaga pananaw ko about couples. Sobrang sweet nila unlike my parents. Memorize ko pa yung kwento ni tito about sa panliligaw niya kay tita. Super saya niya raw nung sinagot siya ni tita given na puro sulat at papel lang before since hindi pa uso yung phone. May time na he would ride a boat back-and-forth para bigyan lang ng flowers si tita since long distance sila.
That lunch was a full circle moment for me. I began to realize that this is what a healthy family should be. I began to understand what genuine love was.
Of course, nasundan pa yung lunch na yun, even dinners, ganun ako kaclose sa family nila. Still, ganun yung treatment ni tito kay tita. Tito never shied away kung gaano niya kamahal si tita. Tama pala talaga yung best friend ko. Kaya ganun na lang pala siya ka proud sa love story ng parents niya. I admired them as a couple and I admired them more as parents.
Tito, you became one of my dads especially during what I considered as my lowest moment where I thought I was going to lose my mom. I was a high schooler dealing with doctors and nurses' instructions kasi no adult was beside me. The first call I received wasn't even from my dad, it was an overseas call from you asking what assistance I need kasi you'll send someone or anything for me. All night I was stoic, pero I broke down at that hospital corridor at 3 am still in my high school uniform from that call.
So, thank you, tito! I hope you celebrate more of your birthdays pa with tita and your kids! You had sons lang and you wanted a daughter, so I'm lucky you considered me as one.
And sa best friend ko, thank you for sharing your family with me! Bruh, I won't tell this to you kasi iyakin ako pero mas iyakin ka. Thanks for being the brother from another mother.

Hi guys. Firstly, burner account for obvious reasons. Secondly I want some.... outside perspective on this.
So I (31F) have been dating my boyfriend John (37M) for close to a year. John has a really great job but has a pet project living his dream of putting a music project together. You would never know he has no formal experience but he has a great ear and he found a really great musician to start off. A beautiful talented young woman by the name of Tammy (25F), whom John has no interest in romantically because, well... he is with me and is happy with me.
Now Tammy is bisexual and it's no secret she has a crush on me. Always hugging me, wanting to put her arm around me to take selfies with me, always complimenting me. I am not uncomfortable with it and neither is John because he feels it's just harmless affection between between two new besties.
One day I ask to speak to her in private and I tell her that John has this weird thing about wanting to lick my armpits during sex (I don't mind, just I never had a partner doing... that before and it actually feels good) and I asked her if she ever had a partner focus on it. She says no, but asks if I can raise my arms up. I do, and she says "I can see why John likes to lick them, even your armpits are gorgeous." She always makes a point to gush on me. Sorry for the TMI, btw.
When me and John got in the car later that day I tell him what I talked to Tammy about. He said, and I quote, "We all know her lesbian crush on you. I know you say you're hetero, but if you ever want to scratch that lesbian itch I am giving you a hall pass.... a lesbian hall pass where I will not consider it cheating as long as it's with another girl." I tell him thanks but it will never be used, and that's the end of it....
....Fast forward to a month later and John is out of town for a work thing. Tammy invites me out to go clubbing with her, and I accept. We go and have a great time, dancing, then she suddenly leans in and kisses me! At first I was taken aback, but then I remember the hall pass and decide to kiss her back. Well let's just say that we couldn't wait to get back to her place and just lay into each other.... she also got why my BF liked my armpits. It was my very first time doing anything with a woman and although I enjoyed the experience, I think I would rather be with my guy.
When John got back the next day, I couldn't hold back and told him I used the lesbian hall pass. He asked, "Who was the lucky lady?" When I tell him it was Tammy, he got quiet, then said "Of all the women you had to pick Tammy?" I told him he didn't say she was off limits or anything so why not? He told me, "What you did was like clicking the unsubscribe link in a spam email. It doesn't do what you think it does. By having sex with her, she is likely going to think she has a shot of being with you as her girlfriend." I tell him that's silly, she knows I am with you.
A couple of days later she comes to my house and tells me that she really likes me and that night confirmed her feelings for me. I tell her that our night together was a one-time only show and I am with John not to mention I am not really into women (Alcohol was involved). She burst into tears, left in a hurry and John said she called him and asked to take a break from the pet project. My friends that I told are saying I am the asshole not for using the hallpass but for deciding to use it on John's partner knowing her crush. But AITAH if John didn't tell me up from the start not to use it on her?

LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024

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