Please take the time to read the following; if you don’t, you won’t be considered.
The Game
High in the Cloudfall mountains, the gate to a long forgotten civilization has been uncovered. The history of this ancient place has been lost to time, but the challenge carved into the surrounding rock makes two things clear:
Horrors await those brave or foolhardy enough to enter, and fortune awaits those clever and skilled enough to find their way back.
Now, people from around the Realm gather in the small frontier town hastily founded near the gate. Some seek to uncover the mysteries within, both past and present. Others see only an opportunity for wealth and power. And of course, some just want to test their mettle in the dungeon, which has become known as…
The Halls of Tymora!
The game will be combat and exploration heavy, but there will also be plenty of opportunities for roleplaying and intrigue, especially during downtime. Multiple factions are at play, including other groups of PCs. The dungeon itself is massive, high risk, and high reward. Character death is a very real possibility.
I’m looking for a group of 3-5 to delve this dungeon. Players should be familiar with Roll20 and basic 5e rules, outgoing, and just generally fun to play with.
All official classes, subclasses, and races are welcome. Homebrew is not allowed, but Unearthed Arcana is (generally) fine. Players will start at level 2, and are allowed one uncommon magic item. Stats are generated using standard array or point buy.
If you’re interested, or have any other questions, feel free to DM me.

Origins of the Treacherous Liar is my story, but it's also the name my ex-partner gave me. Let me give you some background: my ex comes from a troubled family, with a history of substance abuse and dysfunction. When we first met, I saw potential in him despite his struggles, and I tried to support him.
Can I breathe yet? Am I allowed to? Do others and YOURSELF give you permission to breathe? These questions echo through the corridors of my mind as I navigate the treacherous waters of my past, trying to make sense of the tumultuous journey that brought me here.
Loneliness has been a constant companion, casting shadows over my life like storm clouds on a bleak horizon. It's a feeling that can drive even the sanest person to the brink of madness, twisting perceptions and clouding judgment.
All my life, I was the outcast, the odd one out, the invisible woman, and the black sheep, well for at least with my school life and my family life. This is at least some aspect of being so lonely for so long and it can play on many minds, it can make people crazy to the point where their actions might lead to dangerous things. What things do you ask? Well, that might be the very point of this story.
In the midst of this emotional turmoil, I found myself entangled with a partner whose demons mirrored my own. His struggles with addiction and manipulation became the backdrop of our relationship, overshadowing any hope of happiness.
Despite all this, I stayed with him, even after having children together. I wanted to believe he would change, but he only became more erratic and unreliable. He would disappear for days, come home high, and even stole medication meant for my pain relief during childbirth.
I stayed, against my better judgment, clinging to the belief that love could conquer all. But as the years passed, the cracks in our foundation widened, until they threatened to swallow me whole.
His actions spoke volumes of his character; leaving our children alone while he indulged in drugs and alcohol, neglecting their safety and well-being. The kids suffered; their innocence tarnished by the toxic environment he created.
His disregard for our family's well-being culminated in moments of violence, like the day he broke my finger in a fit of rage. Yet even as the pain seared through me, I found myself trapped in a cycle of denial and despair.
Leaving him was a Herculean task, requiring every ounce of strength I possessed. Yet even as I broke free from his grasp, I found myself labeled a "treacherous liar" by the very person who had wrought havoc on my life.
His accusations cut deep; reopening wounds I thought had long since healed. Was I truly the villain in this narrative, or merely a pawn in his game of manipulation?
But amidst the chaos, I found moments of clarity. I realized that my worth was not defined by his accusations, nor was my truth beholden to his perception.
I took steps to reclaim my life, carving out a path free from the shadows of my past. It wasn't easy, and there were setbacks along the way, but with each step forward, I grew stronger.
As I look back on my journey, I see the courage it took to confront my demons and the resilience it took to rebuild my life. I may never have all the answers, but I know that I am no longer defined by the label's others place upon me.
So, to those who would seek to cast me as the villain in their story, I say this: my truth is mine alone, and I will not be silenced by your lies. The waters may be treacherous, but I will navigate them with courage and grace, knowing that I am worthy of love and respect.
So, Reddit, am I the a-hole for leaving my ex-partner after being labeled as a "treacherous liar"?

Hi! … I’m a MOD at Jung and I’ve been sharing my articles there for a few years now. I thought this sub could be a good fit for some of them. I read the rules and it seems to me that it’s ok for me to share, if it isn’t, I apologize in advance. Please let me know what I’d need to change.
The Secret Reasons You Procrastinate and How To Overcome Them
The first thing you have to understand is that procrastination isn’t about laziness and rarely about the task we’ve been avoiding.
Simply put, procrastination happens because of the meaning we attach to certain tasks, and because of this hidden meaning, procrastination becomes a strategy to avoid facing something deeper.
For instance, since I launched my book and I have more people paying attention to me, I started procrastinating on posting about certain topics and telling my stories.
Why? … Because I’m afraid of being judged and not being good enough. This evokes my desire to be perfect, which leads to being identified with my productions and being attached to the outcome.
When I was overweight, I’d constantly procrastinate on buying new clothes.
Why? … Because I’d have to look myself in the mirror. I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I didn’t want to buy a bigger number of pants. I was avoiding facing I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
Recently, I lost my credit card and to get a new one was very simple. All I had to do was make a phone call, but I avoided it for weeks.
Why? … Because the call had to be done in Spanish, and I don’t feel very confident speaking Spanish yet.
This makes me feel insecure, because I feel like my Spanish should be way better now that I’m living in Argentina. Of course, this is all in my head, the truth is that I can already hold conversions in Spanish, but I’m judging myself too harshly.
Do you see? … Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper.
It’s about the meaning and heaviness we attach to certain tasks and while this is unconscious, they feel much bigger than they actually are. In fact, even using the word “procrastination” detracts us from the real experience as it’s a way to avoid uncovering the real truth.
People believe that just because they know a word they know everything there is to know about something. The truth is that using terms provides an illusory sense of control because now “we know what the thing is”.
However, we have to look for the secret reason behind procrastination, just like the examples I gave you. I wasn’t “procrastinating”, I didn’t want to feel rejected or judged.
When we unwrap the real reason, it becomes conscious and we can finally do something about it. It’s no longer this invisible master of puppets making us feel ashamed and guilty for constantly postponing certain tasks.
The Root Cause of Procrastination
During my practice as a therapist, I understood that procrastination is a very common symptom in people under the influence of a mother or father complex, and this took things to a whole new level.
In very simple terms, these are people who don’t want to grow up and take any responsibility for their lives. Some people know that as the Peter Pan syndrome, but nowadays people call it the man-child or the woman-child. in Jungian Psychology, we call it the Puer and Puella Aeternus.
When I realized that, I understood that the problem of procrastination is something much deeper, it’s not about postponing daily tasks, It’s about postponing growing up and fully living life. New studies are showing that adolescence is extending to 30 years old and people are doing everything they can to remain childish.
Why? … Because this is the easy way out, while you’re childish you don’t have to take responsibility for anything and you can always blame your parents, your family, and society.
All of this passivity and lack of responsibility leads to people feeling lost and having no sense of purpose and direction. This obviously leads to massive amounts of anxiety and depression. Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper and that’s why simply giving you a list of habits won’t solve it, we have to address the root cause first.
We have to talk about our attitude towards life and what lies underneath procrastination:
For some it’s the fear of becoming independent, truly growing up, and making their own decisions.
Others feel like they’re not good enough to do what they truly desire.
Others procrastinate to avoid disappointing their families or partners.
Others procrastinate because they don’t have the right motivation,
they’re just trying to please someone else. On a deeper, level, they’re living their entire lives with someone else’s map.
Others procrastinate because they lack self-esteem and don’t feel like they deserve to accomplish anything.
Others procrastinate because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected if they put themselves out there.
While others procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
The First Thing
If you’re under the influence of a mother and father complex, the first thing you have to realize is that there’s a part of you that wants to remain a child and sabotages all your attempts to become independent and accomplish your goals. This part is also very clever, as it’s a master in creating the perfect excuses to avoid doing all the tasks you have to do.
Now, I know that many people were dealt a bad hand, I had to deal with CPTSD and severe derealization. However, the first thing that ought to be done is to emotionally and psychologically separate yourself from your parents. Until you do so, you’ll never be your own person and you’ll be forever doomed to repeat their stories.
Simply put, psychologically speaking, being under the influence of the parents entails that you unconsciously adopt their worldview, beliefs, fears, and all of their patterns around work, money, relationships, and life in general.
I won’t go into full detail here because I already wrote extensively about it in my Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus Series, I’ll focus on expanding these ideas and how they apply specifically to procrastination.
What I’d like to add is that you won’t be able to carve your own path if you don’t take the responsibility upon you to craft your own values and create your unique sense of meaning.
These answers won’t come from anyone else but you, and if you don’t actively engage in this process, you’ll operate with goals and a belief system that have nothing to do with your personality and authentic desires. You’ll be trying to please others and fulfill their expectations instead of following your soul. That’s what most people choose to do and that’s also why they lead meaningless lives.
Just a quick note here, when I say that people have to emotionally separate from their parents some people tend to assume this is a bad thing. But this is not about cutting ties with your family and shutting them off, this is about becoming your own person, it’s about developing your own personality, beliefs, and values.
It’s about becoming independent and letting go of the need for their approval. It’s about individuation, which means carving your own path. In some cases, this will require keeping a certain distance from the family while for others this might not be necessary, you have to discern what’s your scenario and not use your family as an excuse.
Comfort – A Poisonous Drug
Being under the influence of the parental complex means that you either live a life trying to fulfill their expectations or trying to prove them wrong, in this second case, you do everything they wouldn’t approve. Either way, it’s not a conscious decision because everything is done in reaction to the parents, it’s not an expression of your individuality.
Taking things into a procrastination context, the quickest way to realize if you’re under the influence of a negative mother complex is if you’re constantly seeking COMFORT.
In other words, you’re procrastinating because you HAVE the perfect
conditions.
I know, a bit of a mind fuck…
The problem is that you got used to your current level of comfort and this keeps you stuck. Comfort is one of the most powerful drugs that exists. I love it when I can just brew myself a great cup of coffee and simply stare into the void. I just want to do nothing and pretend that I don’t have any adult responsibilities for a while, lol.
The problem is that people usually fall in love with this “pretending” and it quickly becomes an escapism. Whenever there’s a situation demanding growth, instead of facing it head-on, they choose the easy way out.
When you do that, you also open the door to a mediocre life. This mediocre spirit whispers in your ear, “It’s ok to eat that extra cookie”. “It’s ok to spend all of your time doom scrolling or watching adult videos”.
Quickly, it converts into a master of puppets keeping you hostage of your own “comfort”. The mindset “If I just had the perfect conditions I could start”, perfectly encapsulates it. There’s always one more book you have to read, there’s always one more thing you have to buy, the list never ends!
The first thing you have to realize is that comfort is subjective. You might not think that your current life is objectively comfortable, yet, you got used to it. Worse, you keep lying to yourself saying that everything is ok.
Avoiding making a decision doesn’t make things magically disappear, it just makes the imaginary monster bigger.
Until you admit to yourself that things must change, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ll just keep wasting your life. This “comfort” is poisonous and will corrode your health, relationships, and all your potential to live a great life.
Now, looking on the bright side.
Once you understand that you’ve been lying to yourself, you also realize that you had the perfect conditions to start all along. Let’s be serious, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you have all you need to start whatever you want to do.
Instead of choosing comfort every time, you have to learn how to intelligently apply friction to yourself and we’re gonna explore that in future articles.
I’d like to end with this quoting Kant – “You’re only free when you choose to do what you don’t want to do”.
Many people have this childish idea that if they form a lot of habits they’ll stop having fun and life will become boring, but it’s exactly the other way around. If you don’t develop discipline, your destructive desires will continue to ruin your life.
It’s not fun having bad financial habits and never knowing if you’ll have enough money. It’s not fun not being able to control what we eat, constantly put on weight and feel disgusting when we look in the mirror.
It’s not fun not being able to accomplish our tasks and feel guilty, ashamed, and like a failure. Not only that, when you don’t have good habits you waste a lot of time in meaningless tasks, such as thinking about what you’re gonna eat or wear.
However, when we form good habits everything becomes automatic and we don’t have to think about it anymore, it becomes effortless and this frees a lot of mental energy. We stop being worried about meaningless stuff and we can apply this energy to deep thinking and creativity.
Having good habits and deciding exactly how we’ll spend our time, resources, and energy is extremely powerful and brings immense freedom. It’s time to stop being a slave of your illusory comfort. You’re not lost, you’re afraid of responsibility and carving your own path.
Lastly, here’s a deep dive into the mother and father complex – Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus
Rafael Krüger – Jungian Therapist

I’m looking for a fic I read on AO3 and I didn’t bookmark it and I can’t remember the name. I searched through my history with no luck. I wonder if the author deleted it 🥺
Here are all the details I can immediately recall:
Hermione is the minister and she uses her political power to set Draco free when he expects to get the kiss, but he has to live as a muggle and of course doesn’t have a wand.
Draco meets a muggle guy at a bar and ends up becoming flatmates with him and another guy.
Draco sits with an old lady who has Alzheimer’s and periodically thinks Draco is her husband. He plays along when it happens
Hermione ends up having sex with the roommate of Draco’s that he had met in the bar and she ends up obliviating herself from his memory.
There’s a new threat and Hermione asks Draco to infiltrate the group and she gives him an insane black market wand. He does as she asks but she doesn’t hear from him for months. He killed the leader and polyjuiced as him almost the entire time he was away. He brings them to the ministry during a gala or something like that and Draco kills all the followers.
Draco has what appears to be mental issues, but it’s something darker than that. Kind of like dementors, but not that… they follow him around and it doesn’t bode well for his mental state.
Draco finds a 3 year old a boy named Leo by the lions at the zoo that had been abandoned. Hermione had gone to the bathroom and Draco is asking what his mother looks like and when he sees Hermione, he points to her.
Draco performs magic in front of Leo. Like making a 3 story slide and tent type thing.
Draco loves Leo and Hermione can’t bond with the little boy. Hermione goes into the boy’s memories and he was neglected and the mother was on drugs and the father was abusive to the mom (I think) and the mom ends up killing the dad and she’s the one who took Leo to the zoo and left him there. Draco is extremely protective of Leo.
Ron is NOT a good person and ends up with the R word carved into his forehead by Draco with the wand Hermione had given him after he does something horrible to her while Draco was out walking with Leo and comes back when it’s happening.
Harry and Ron are both Aurors and Ron is suspended after what happens.
Draco ends up wiping the boy’s memory of all magic and him and Hermione and calls to have the boy picked up and placed with a loving family. He did it for Hermione, but she thought he wiped out the painful things the boy experienced, which she knows will make him into who he is supposed to be, just like all of it made Draco into who he was.
The old lady that Draco sits with is actually a witch (a Hufflepuff I think and her husband was pretty much how Draco was to Hermione at Hogwarts) and she knows what’s actually wrong with Draco and she has to do some memory magic to help get rid of them and she accidentally completely wipes Hermione out of his mind in the process.
Hermione is pregnant and for some reason Draco goes to the hospital I think the old lady told him to go and talks to Ron outside after being inside and asks who Hermione had been with or something like that… and at some point Ron lifts up his hair that he grew out to cover what Draco carved into his forehead and told him that he was the one who did that.
The ending is in Hermione’s minister office and her secretary is a muggle and she says she tried to keep them from coming in just as Draco and their children come running in to Hermione’s office.
I hope that’s enough to help it be recognized! I think it was from like 2010-2015…

The first thing you have to understand is that procrastination isn’t about laziness and rarely about the task we’ve been avoiding.
Simply put, procrastination happens because of the meaning we attach to certain tasks, and because of this hidden meaning, procrastination becomes a strategy to avoid facing something deeper.
For instance, since I launched my book and I have more people paying attention to me, I started procrastinating on posting about certain topics and telling my stories.
Why? … Because I’m afraid of being judged and not being good enough. This evokes my desire to be perfect, which leads to being identified with my productions and being attached to the outcome.
When I was overweight, I’d constantly procrastinate on buying new clothes.
Why? … Because I’d have to look myself in the mirror. I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I didn’t want to buy a bigger number of pants. I was avoiding facing I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
Recently, I lost my credit card and to get a new one was very simple. All I had to do was make a phone call, but I avoided it for weeks.
Why? … Because the call had to be done in Spanish, and I don’t feel very confident speaking Spanish yet.
This makes me feel insecure, because I feel like my Spanish should be way better now that I’m living in Argentina. Of course, this is all in my head, the truth is that I can already hold conversions in Spanish, but I’m judging myself too harshly.
Do you see? … Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper.
It’s about the meaning and heaviness we attach to certain tasks and while this is unconscious, they feel much bigger than they actually are. In fact, even using the word “procrastination” detracts us from the real experience as it’s a way to avoid uncovering the real truth.
People believe that just because they know a word they know everything there is to know about something. The truth is that using terms provides an illusory sense of control because now “we know what the thing is”.
However, we have to look for the secret reason behind procrastination, just like the examples I gave you. I wasn’t “procrastinating”, I didn’t want to feel rejected or judged.
When we unwrap the real reason, it becomes conscious and we can finally do something about it. It’s no longer this invisible master of puppets making us feel ashamed and guilty for constantly postponing certain tasks.
The Root Cause of Procrastination
During my practice as a therapist, I understood that procrastination is a very common symptom in people under the influence of a mother or father complex, and this took things to a whole new level.
In very simple terms, these are people who don’t want to grow up and take any responsibility for their lives. Some people know that as the Peter Pan syndrome, but nowadays people call it the man-child or the woman-child. in Jungian Psychology, we call it the Puer and Puella Aeternus.
When I realized that, I understood that the problem of procrastination is something much deeper, it’s not about postponing daily tasks, It’s about postponing growing up and fully living life. New studies are showing that adolescence is extending to 30 years old and people are doing everything they can to remain childish.
Why? … Because this is the easy way out, while you’re childish you don’t have to take responsibility for anything and you can always blame your parents, your family, and society.
All of this passivity and lack of responsibility leads to people feeling lost and having no sense of purpose and direction. This obviously leads to massive amounts of anxiety and depression. Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper and that’s why simply giving you a list of habits won’t solve it, we have to address the root cause first.
We have to talk about our attitude towards life and what lies underneath procrastination:
For some it’s the fear of becoming independent, truly growing up, and making their own decisions.
Others feel like they’re not good enough to do what they truly desire.
Others procrastinate to avoid disappointing their families or partners.
Others procrastinate because they don’t have the right motivation,
they’re just trying to please someone else. On a deeper, level, they’re living their entire lives with someone else’s map.
Others procrastinate because they lack self-esteem and don’t feel like they deserve to accomplish anything.
Others procrastinate because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected if they put themselves out there.
While others procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
The First Thing
If you’re under the influence of a mother and father complex, the first thing you have to realize is that there’s a part of you that wants to remain a child and sabotages all your attempts to become independent and accomplish your goals. This part is also very clever, as it’s a master in creating the perfect excuses to avoid doing all the tasks you have to do.
Now, I know that many people were dealt a bad hand, I had to deal with CPTSD and severe derealization. However, the first thing that ought to be done is to emotionally and psychologically separate yourself from your parents. Until you do so, you’ll never be your own person and you’ll be forever doomed to repeat their stories.
Simply put, psychologically speaking, being under the influence of the parents entails that you unconsciously adopt their worldview, beliefs, fears, and all of their patterns around work, money, relationships, and life in general.
I won’t go into full detail here because I already wrote extensively about it in my Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus Series, I’ll focus on expanding these ideas and how they apply specifically to procrastination.
What I’d like to add is that you won’t be able to carve your own path if you don’t take the responsibility upon you to craft your own values and create your unique sense of meaning.
These answers won’t come from anyone else but you, and if you don’t actively engage in this process, you’ll operate with goals and a belief system that have nothing to do with your personality and authentic desires. You’ll be trying to please others and fulfill their expectations instead of following your soul. That’s what most people choose to do and that’s also why they lead meaningless lives.
Just a quick note here, when I say that people have to emotionally separate from their parents some people tend to assume this is a bad thing. But this is not about cutting ties with your family and shutting them off, this is about becoming your own person, it’s about developing your own personality, beliefs, and values.
It’s about becoming independent and letting go of the need for their approval. It’s about individuation, which means carving your own path. In some cases, this will require keeping a certain distance from the family while for others this might not be necessary, you have to discern what’s your scenario and not use your family as an excuse.
Comfort – A Poisonous Drug
Being under the influence of the parental complex means that you either live a life trying to fulfill their expectations or trying to prove them wrong, in this second case, you do everything they wouldn’t approve. Either way, it’s not a conscious decision because everything is done in reaction to the parents, it’s not an expression of your individuality.
Taking things into a procrastination context, the quickest way to realize if you’re under the influence of a negative mother complex is if you’re constantly seeking COMFORT.
In other words, you’re procrastinating because you HAVE the perfect
conditions.
I know, a bit of a mind fuck…
The problem is that you got used to your current level of comfort and this keeps you stuck. Comfort is one of the most powerful drugs that exists. I love it when I can just brew myself a great cup of coffee and simply stare into the void. I just want to do nothing and pretend that I don’t have any adult responsibilities for a while, lol.
The problem is that people usually fall in love with this “pretending” and it quickly becomes an escapism. Whenever there’s a situation demanding growth, instead of facing it head-on, they choose the easy way out.
When you do that, you also open the door to a mediocre life. This mediocre spirit whispers in your ear, “It’s ok to eat that extra cookie”. “It’s ok to spend all of your time doom scrolling or watching adult videos”.
Quickly, it converts into a master of puppets keeping you hostage of your own “comfort”. The mindset “If I just had the perfect conditions I could start”, perfectly encapsulates it. There’s always one more book you have to read, there’s always one more thing you have to buy, the list never ends!
The first thing you have to realize is that comfort is subjective. You might not think that your current life is objectively comfortable, yet, you got used to it. Worse, you keep lying to yourself saying that everything is ok.
Avoiding making a decision doesn’t make things magically disappear, it just makes the imaginary monster bigger.
Until you admit to yourself that things must change, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ll just keep wasting your life. This “comfort” is poisonous and will corrode your health, relationships, and all your potential to live a great life.
Now, looking on the bright side.
Once you understand that you’ve been lying to yourself, you also realize that you had the perfect conditions to start all along. Let’s be serious, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you have all you need to start whatever you want to do.
Instead of choosing comfort every time, you have to learn how to intelligently apply friction to yourself and we’re gonna explore that in future articles.
I’d like to end with this quoting Kant – “You’re only free when you choose to do what you don’t want to do”.
Many people have this childish idea that if they form a lot of habits they’ll stop having fun and life will become boring, but it’s exactly the other way around. If you don’t develop discipline, your destructive desires will continue to ruin your life.
It’s not fun having bad financial habits and never knowing if you’ll have enough money. It’s not fun not being able to control what we eat, constantly put on weight and feel disgusting when we look in the mirror.
It’s not fun not being able to accomplish our tasks and feel guilty, ashamed, and like a failure. Not only that, when you don’t have good habits you waste a lot of time in meaningless tasks, such as thinking about what you’re gonna eat or wear.
However, when we form good habits everything becomes automatic and we don’t have to think about it anymore, it becomes effortless and this frees a lot of mental energy. We stop being worried about meaningless stuff and we can apply this energy to deep thinking and creativity.
Having good habits and deciding exactly how we’ll spend our time, resources, and energy is extremely powerful and brings immense freedom. It’s time to stop being a slave of your illusory comfort. You’re not lost, you’re afraid of responsibility and carving your own path.
Here’s a deep dive into the mother and father complex – Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus
Rafael Krüger – Jungian Therapist

Everyone get death donut slashers ready. Pack heat. That means orange paint, molotovs, and superglue.
We're going to bring stencils paint new lines and redirect all first responder traffic away from the capitol complex. Our advance agents will slash all the SUV tires of various capitol police, slowing their response time for units stationed on the perimeter. We're going to superglue people down to the roads, creating trolley problem anyone trying to get through. We will then set a diversionary fire in the parking lot (eliminating the cars).
When the fire fighters and police show up to investigate the fires, we'll throw orange paint on everyone. By making them look like us, we will create confusion - and opportunity. While everyone's confused about where the orange people are and who they are, our secondary squad in waiting near the building will also cover themselves in orange paint and sprint at the front doors. After we get to close quarters, since we outnumber them, we'll superglue one person to each defender. Because we're covered in orange paint, we will be able to break free while they are stuck to the ground.
Finally, when we get into the main chamber, we will draft a new government, declare our coup a success, and abolish all private automobiles all across Bangladesh.Those Bengalis will never know what hit them. Dakka will be afflicted with modest amounts of automobile usage no longer. Next stop, invading Amerikkka.

It's the first time writing a longer fic for me, so I thought to put it out here, if anyone is interested. It also helps me to get feedback and comments on the plot.
Title: [Carve Me a Song from Ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/54305434).
Summary: After the Department of Mysteries, Sirius fell into the Veil and survived the fall but and got exonerated but he is plagued with nightmares, has unresolved grief, and a desperate need to be a good caretaker for Harry. The Order keeps fighting Voldemort and the Death Eaters and tries to get a grip after that summer, looking for Healers to join their secret organization.
Pia Pettigrew is unable to believe that Sirius Black, her late brother's former friend was set free while the Ministry is now supposedly after Peter, whom the Pettigrew siblings consider long gone. Healer Emily Pettigrew (my first OC) is blackmailed by her older sister to join the Order of the Phoenix and find out what went into Black's exoneration, to avenge their family.
What she finds out, however, is not what she expects.
Rating: T for now, but will be M eventually mainly because of language and depictions of violence and sexual situations (I have yet to find out if I can write SMUT).
Genres: Mystery, Adventure, Romance. There is also a lot of Drama in this fic.
Pairings: there are various relationships that are background, including Remadora, but Sirius / Female OCs is the central one later on.
16 chapters are up already and I update pretty often. The fic has been up for two months and I don't plan to take a year to finish it.

This past year has been a crazy ride, and I need somewhere to let it out.
On this day last year, I(27M) received a FaceTime call from my parents. They're based in Asia while my brother (25M) and I work / go to school in the US - so we have a set time for weekly catchups over the phone. But this time it was weird that they didn't just call. It was the first time in years since they video call me.
Mom(55F) and dad(57M) showed up on my phone screen, but mom didn't have any hair. They told me that she had been diagnosed with late stage cervical cancer a few weeks back and that she had immediately started chemo. My parents got their annual checkup just a few months back, but she was unlucky. The cancer had developed quickly in an area hard to detect, so it was found at a late stage. But fortunately she was receiving the best treatment available, and her company was helping our family with medical expenses. I cried after hanging up. I never thought I'd have to think about my mom's mortality this early. It felt like I was caught in some nasty prank, and I didn't know what to do. At least on screen my mom seemed lively and optimistic with the situation at the time.
I quickly decided it was best I fly over to Asia and help out my parents. Luckily I had recently quit my full time job to start my own business, so I wasn't tied to a company or a geographic location. My brother was starting a program at his dream grad school later that summer, and I was happy to help him focus on it. Instead he would immediately head to my parent's and stay with them until I wrapped up my life in the US and moved over. I had my last hoorah with my friends, gave away my furniture, and packed up my suitcase. I had been living with my girlfriend at the time, and carving myself out of the apartment was more painful than I ever expected. Saying goodbye sucked, especially when I didn't know when I was coming back.
Fast forward a few weeks, I moved into my parent's house. The next few months would be a blur of numerous trips to the hospital, a life in a different country. We were getting into the groove of things, and chemo actually started chipping away at my mom's tumor. But spending large chunks of each week at the hospital, working on my business at night(my work requires me to match US time zones), and having no social life in the country started taking toll on me. I barely knew anyone in the city and I'd have days and weeks not physically speaking at all. My mental and physical health deteriorated, and eventually after much thought I decided to break up with my girlfriend of four years. I just didn't think I was being a good partner with all that was happening in my life, and I had no clue when all this would end - especially given the time difference and distance. It was rough ending things with the most serious girlfriend I ever had, but I had to focus on my family and she understood.
I soon realized that my mom's cancer wasn't the only thing I had to face. I had to figure out my complicated relationship with my dad. I wouldn't call him a bad guy. He has good intentions but he's a troubled man haunted by his job and childhood tragedies(death of siblings, relationship with family, his parents stopping him from pursuing his dreams, etc) Since I was young he struggled with communicating his thoughts / emotions and abusing alcohol. He was never really present in my upbringing, as he sunk away to his room after work to watch TV without helping around the house much. Yes there were moments where he drove us to school a few weeks and took us fishing a couple times, but those gestures faded away by the time my brother and I were 10. When drunk, he broke things around the house regularly, and at his worst he physically assaulted me when I was a teenager. We never really had a legitimate conversation since (he never really talked unless he was drunk), and my mom acted as a sort of a shield / translator between us throughout the years. But he did work and provide for the family for decades, and I should not forget that. Now that I'm older I do see why he was so upset and aggressive back then. I'm finding myself slowly forgiving him over the years. But it also can't be an excuse for what he did and I still find myself deeply affected by his actions.
My dad's aloofness continued into December 2023. In some ways it felt like he was denying to accept the gravity of the situation. He continued drinking heavily and depending on my ill mom for housework / meals. I was upset because it seemed like my mom was still carrying most of the burden even with cancer and he was doing the bare minimum to help our family. I was tired and depressed. I uprooted my whole life, and for months I haven't been able to make much progress in my personal, professional, and social lives. But he wasn't contributing much for our family. I guess he thought improvements in my mom's health would continue and she'd recover soon.
Around new year, chemo stopped making progress, and my mom's condition began worsening week by week. Some of her organs started having issues, bringing debilitating pain. The doctors tried different treatments, radiotherapy, etc, but the situation kept on heading south. Her stays at the hospital grew longer, and she started cry more often. At times her pain would be so terrible that she'd scream into my arms saying that she doesn't want to continue living anymore. Every day I can still hear her cries and it's messing with me. I hate losing someone strong / kind like her inch by inch. After seeing my mom's state worsen, my dad started turning around and investing more time / attention to our family. He cut down most of his drinking and began spending most of his free time with her. I think he finally started realizing that he could actually lose his wife. I do appreciate him stepping up, and he and I started cooperating on nursing mom and getting through house chores. Sometimes I feel guilty for this, but I'm still having difficulty trusting him 100% given all we've been through. It's still tough to spend 1:1 time with him.
Fast forward to now, the situation hasn't improved much and my mom hasn't been home in months. Even phone calls and texts are difficult for her now. The doctors are planning on trying one more treatment, but if it doesn't work we'll likely have to begin preparing for the worst. I saw on reddit that old photos help cancer patients a lot, so I went through our family album to show digital copies to my mom. I can't remember the last time I cried that much. Thankfully, my brother is now in town on vacation for the next few weeks, and he's been very helpful. We're grateful that he had a successful first year at grad school, and him returning has been a breath of fresh air for our family. Seeing my brother has been helping my mom a lot as well. I'm sure my brother is feeling his own shock and guilt with all that's happening to our family. I hope he's able to find strength within himself.
But I need to face the fact that my mom started taking morphine and that the doctors began discussing hospice. My parents and I took the past few weeks to organize my mom's finances, taxes, and legal work. It's still surreal that I had to go through my mom's stuff. She has been strong / stoic throughout this whole process, but I can't imagine what pain / thoughts she's dealing with when my dad or I'm not around. I can't imagine what it's like to even begin thinking about the end. A miracle could happen, but nothing is guaranteed. Sometimes keep on hoping and hoping gets really tough, especially if things keep on getting worse. All I can do is just take each day as it is and keep moving forward.
I took a pause on work in the last few months to focus on helping my family and recovering my health. I'm slowly but surely spending up my savings though, and I feel like I'm being left behind professionally and socially. I'm finding myself depressed not being able to make progress with my life and career. I have no friends and I can't remember the last time I took a legitimate break. I can't help but wonder how my business will work out, whether I can become social again, and what my future will look like. But it's been so difficult to plan anything because any day / week my mom's situation can shift drastically. And at times I feel guilty thinking about myself when my mom is suffering this much. I'm trying really hard to keep a routine with exercise and work so I can keep myself healthy to continue helping my parents. It's been a challenging fight to keep all these things balanced.
But I also can't deny that I've seen a lot of beauty in life as well in the past year. So many friends and family helped us out, and I sat down with my mom with deep conversations on life. I've also changed / grew tremendously, and my perspective on life / death matured a lot. I learned the importance of mental / physical health. This dark period in my life also could be the beginning of a relationship with my dad. I don't do social media but so many friends remembered our family and reached out proactively. Thank you everyone. All of the other problems I had in life seem so small / solvable now, after all I've gone through. Imagine how easy those obstacles will feel once all this is over!
I have no idea how all of this will resolve, but I just hope my mom doesn't go through much pain. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and give up but I want to help my mom as much as I can until the end. She always tried her best to give my brother and me the best possible life. A few weeks ago, she told me that she has no regrets because she gave us all her love over the past 20 to 30 years, a feat that other moms might take 50 to 60 years to accomplish. She really did her best and she was the greatest mom I could ever have.
I'm curious what kind of person I'll become after the dust settles. Daydreaming about what's to come after these tough times keep me going. The rest of the year probably won't be pretty though, especially if my mom's health worsens. In whatever way this situation resolves towards, I won't disappoint her. I hope I can stay strong throughout and I'll keep giving life my best.
And I hope this past year does stay the toughest year of my life lol

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

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After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy warlock who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik/slacker satyr rogue employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While trying to type slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylenos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

Effect: Inverse the effect of surrounding jokers (immediate left and right)
Below is a list of how this joker would effect other jokers. I have bolded the changes to each effect to make it easier to see what is different.
I have italicized the effects that are only negative effects, I am not sure these effects should be included as a way to make this joker have downsides or not. On one hand its a cool idea because you need to manage the placement of this joker, but on the other hand this may be a very shallow complication to the gameplay of this joker and may not even be worthwhile. I would love to hear your opinions on this.
Also if there are (???) next to the effect I am unsure if this should be the inverted effect or not. The food items in particular I am unsure if they should get better over time instead of getting worse over time (and maybe if they do get better over time they should start as debuffs aka negative modifiers).
I will update this list with your ideas if they seem more cohesive or well thought out.
Also if anyone is interested in helping me turn this into a mod, please reach out. This idea is probably not going to leave my head until it gets implemented in some fashion. I have experience with coding and game development, but have never used love2d or looked into modding balatro)
Compatible Jokers (and new effect):

• All first page jokers would be negative mult or chips
• Half Joker(+20 mult if played hand contains 4+ cards)
• Joker Stencil (x1 mult for each filled Joker slot)
• Ceremonial Dagger (Generates a Joker to the right that costs the current mult to generate)???
• Banner (+30 chips for each discard used)
• Mystic Summit (+15 mult if no discards used)
• Raised Fist (Adds double the rank of the highest ranked card held as mult)???
• Abstract Joker (+3 mult for each empty Joker slot)
• Delayed Gratification ($2 per used discard)
• Pareidolia (No cards are considered face cards)
• Even Steven (Played cards with odd rank give +4 mult when scored)
• Odd Todd (Played cards with even rank give +31 chips)
• Scholar (Played aces give +20 mult and +4 chips when scored)??????????????
• Bussiness Card (Played non-face cards have a 1 in 2 chance to give $2 when scored)
• Ride the Bus (This Joker gains +1 mult per consecutive hand played with a scoring face card)
• Space Joker (1 in 4 chance to downgrade played poker hand)???
• Egg (Loses $3 of sell value at end of round)???
• Burglar (When blind is selected lose 3 hands and gain 3 discards)
• Blackboard (x3 mult if all cards held in hand are Diamonds or Hearts)
• Ice Cream (+100 chips +5 chips for every hand played)????????
• Blue Joker (+2 chips for every card used this round)
• Sixth Sense (If first hand of the round is a single 6, duplicate it and add it to hand)???
• Constellation (This Joker loses x0.1 mult for every time a planet card is used)???
• Hiker (Every played card permanently loses -5 Chips when scored)???
• Faceless Joker (Earn $5 when 3 or more non-face cards are discarded at the same time)
• Green Joker (-1 mult per hand played +1 mult per discard)
• Card Sharp (x3 mult if played poker hand has not already been played this round)
• Red Card (This Joker gains +3 mult when any booster pack is not skipped) [needs better wording]
• Vampire (Adds random enhancement to non-scoring cards in played hand)??????
• Hologram (This Joker gains x0.25 mult every time a playing card is removed from your deck)
• Vagabond (Create a tarot card if hand is played with $5 or more)
• Obelisk (This Joker gains x0.2 mult per consecutive hand played that is your most played hand) [probably too broken]
• Midas Mask (All played non-face cards become Gold cards when scored)
• Photograph (Last played face card gives x2 mult)???????
• Turtle Bean (+5 hand size increase by 1 every round)??????????????
• Erosion (+4 mult for each card above 52 in your full deck)
• Reserved Parking (Each non-face card held in hand has a 1 in 2 chance to give $1)
• Hallucination (1 in 2 chance to create a tarot card when any booster pack is skipped)
• Juggler (-1 hand size)
• Drunkard (-1 discard)
• Lucky Cat (This Joker gains x0.25 mult every time a lucky card is played and not triggered)??????
• Baseball card (Common and Rare Jokers each give x1.5 mult) [broken?]
• Trading Card (If first discard of round has only 1 card duplicate it and add it to hand)???
• Popcorn (+20 mult +4 mult per round played)????????
• Ramen (x2 mult gains x0.01 mult per card discarded)???????????
• Walkie Talkie (each played 10 or 4 gives +4 chips and +10 mult)???
• Castle (This Joker gains +3 chips per played [suit] card, suit changes every round)
• Smiley Face (Played non-face cards give +5 mult when scored)
• Campfire (This Joker gains x0.25 mult for each card bought, resets when Boss Blind is defeated)
• Acrobat (x3 mult on every hand besides the final hand)???
• Sock and Buskin (Retrigger all played non-face cards)
• Troubadour (-2 hand size, +1 hand each round)
• Certificate (When round begins add a random playing card with a random Enhancement to your hand)???
• Smeared Joker (Hearts and Spades count as the same suit. Diamonds and Clubs count as the same suit)???
• Throwback (x0.25 mult for each Blind selected this round)???
• Hanging Chad (Retrigger the Last card used in scoring 2 additional times)
• Glass Joker (This Joker gains x0.75 mult for every Glass Card played and not destroyed, loses x1.5 mult for every glass card destroyed)???
• Flower Pot (x3 mult if poker hand contains no suits) [I'm thinking all stone cards]???????
• Blueprint (Copies ability of Joker to Left) [This would be fun, but honestly confusing]?????
• Wee Joker (This Joker gains +8 Chips when each played 2 is not scored)???
• Merry Andy (-3 discards each round, +1 hand size)
• Oops! All 6s (Halves all listed probabilities (ex: 1 in 3 -> 1 in 6)
• Seeing Double (x2 mult if played hand does not have a scoring club card, but two still has at least two separate suits)??????
• Matador (Earn $8 upon completing boss blind without triggering its effects)???
• Hit the Road (This Joker gains x0.5 mult for every Jack in hand)
• Stuntman (-250 Chips, +2 hand size)???
• Brainstorm (Copies the ability of the Rightmost joker)???
• Shoot the Moon (Each played queen card gives +13 mult) [or maybe discard]???
• Driver's License (x3 mult if you have no enhanced cards in your full deck)
• Cartomancer (Create a tarot card when Blind is skipped)
• Astronomer (All Tarot cards and Arcana Packs in the shop are free)?????
• Burnt Joker (Upgrade the level of the first played poker hand each round) [broken?]??????
• Canio (This Joker gains x1 mult when a face card is added to your deck)???
• Triboulet (Held Kings and Queens each give x2 mult)???
• Yorick (This Joker gains x1 mult every 23 cards played)???
• Perkeo (Destroys 1 random consumable card in your possession at the end of the shop and generates a random planet, tarot, or spectral card)????????????????

Thank you for your time lol

Hey boils and ghouls. One of those posts lol.
So, I returned to the game a few weeks ago, for the first time since the winter update. Since then, my game crashes about 90% of the time I try to so much as load a save. I've gone through and removed mods I thought were a problem (example, people swear up and down Open Cities has conflicts with modern mods, so I took it out). No, I did not do this mid playthrough. Ive reinstalled the game from scratch once, I've cleared reserve space a few times and started fresh, I've started like 4 characters to test. I'll be running just fine, aside from one file that was hard crashing at the Mirmulnir fight (first dragon fight outside Whiterun).
With any character, it goes alright until I make a save and leave the game. Then, upon attempting to load, I get two seconds into the load screen and CTD. Am I using anything known to be problematic, have things in a screwy order, or missing patches I should have? I appreciate any suggestions!
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch
Unofficial Skyrim Creation Club Patch
Simple Workaround
TK Interface Overhaul - Beta
Skyrad HUD Preset - TK Edition
(Updated) Paarthurnax Quest Expansion
The Heliosprotector Project
Obscure Scholarship: The Obscure College Bundle 1K
Skyrim Reputation
Voiced Narrative AE AIO
Immersive Hunter Dialogue
The Beast Within
Feral Dragon Avatar
(XB1) Truly Absorb Dragon Souls - Heavy
Stock Market of Skyrim
Headtracking - Fully Scripted
CC Quick Armor Access
Free Craft Saints and Seducers
Unique Magicka Sabers - SSE
Dragon Katanas
Dragon Carved Armor
Dragon Carved Regal Armor
Enhanced Bound Weapons (XB1)
Morningstar - Minimalistic Races of Skyrim (XB1)
Thunderchild - Epic Shouts and Immersion (XB1)
Vokrii - Minimalistic Perks of Skyrim (XB1)
Odin - Skyrim Magic Overhaul (XB1)
Growl - Werebeasts of Skyrim (XB1)
Sacrilege - Minimalistic Vampires of Skyrim (XB1)
Perk Points and More Gold
GET Immersive Merchant Cheats (XB1)
GET Immersive Cheats (Expanded Edition) (XB1)
Ultimate Skyrim Music Replacer
Skyland AIO
Quill - Realistic Font
Book Covers of Skyrim Tweaked & Fixed
Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE- (Official) - Slim AIO
(CBBE) Lovergirl Skin - 2K
(CBBE) Matte Specular
Loverboy Rugged 2K
Bijin AIO
Kalilies NPCs - CBBE
Pandorables NOCS - AIO
The Kids Are Alright - Episode 1
GLAM Senna
GLAM Karliah
GLAM Astrid & Gabriella
GLAM Illia
GLAM Lydia
GLAM Aranea
GLAM Ysolda
GLAM Haelga
GLAM Aela
GLAM Elenwen
GLAM Ingun & Maven
Buvarp Revamped - Barely Used Vanilla Actors Recycle Project (With Missing Follower Dialogue Edit)
Odahviing Serving You At Last
Inigo (XB1)
Song of the Green (Auri)
Aniya - A Custom Voiced Follower
Mirai - The Girl With The Dragon Heart
Pandorables Mirai Replacer
Majestic Aurie Visual Replacer
Serana Re-Imagined + Red Hair
Deadlier Serana Re-Imagined
Amilovecake's Better Sleeping Arrangements For Mirai The Girl With The Dragon<3
AI Overhaul 1.8.2 Non Scripted
Immersive Amazing Follower Tweaks
Relationship Dialogue Overhaul
Alternate Start - Live Another Life
New Beginnings - Live Another Life Extension
Enhanced Bound Weapons - Vokrii Patch
Auri-Inigo Banter Patch
Odin - Vokrii Compatibility Patch
Bijin AIO - USSEP Patch
RDO - AFT Patch (XB1)
RDO - USSEP Patch (XB1)

[OC Intro: The game is modded to increase basic jobs cost, seasonal events are disabled. Much of the crash details are based on NASA/SP-2008-565 Columbia Crew Survival Investigation Report recommendations especially Chapter 3 "Occupant Protection".]
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries. He has only a few minutes of APU power left, goes over the best clearing he can find, and radars it. It varies by only a few feet from the aerodynamic glideslope there. He spots it out on the cameras and circles to go after that spot. He's only at two hundred feet now. With one hand on the stick, he uses the other to open the pressure equalization valve on the side hatch, then at one hundred feet, gets it undogged. Depending on how much damage he's going to get, it's less likely to be stuck closed and trap him. The dynamic vacuum this pulls in the cockpit rips most of the survival pack data cards from that rack and scatters them across the landscape. Crap, I'm gonna need those! Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, he turns on the radar for the final approach, takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and PFD, he clicks his HANS and shoulder strap locks in; after that, he can barely move, but that now is better than dying in this crash with a broken neck. He's a decent pilot and brings up the flare gently. Bringing up the alpha on this delta-winged ship, he balloons a little, but keeps the nose going up and restores a zero aerodynamic sink rate just above the highest terrain indicated by the radar altimeter. The ship bumps a little in the ground effect, and he can see the radar altitude cycling irregularly up and down about five feet at a time. Rougher than it looked from higher up! The body flap protecting the dead engines hits first, and the nose comes rapidly down. It hits, the screens go blank, and Tightniks is surrounded by airbags, some lifting his feet from the rudder petals and his hand from the control stick. It's blinding, it's disorienting, it's noisy, and, to his relief, it's long! It takes several seconds before the crashing cockpit stops moving. How many times did he flip over? Did he go sideways and roll? Am I rightside up? Are we really stopped on the ground? The airbags deflate, and he can move his arms. He gets his restraints loose and inspects himself. "Uck!" he says out loud (without the 'f'). No broken bones. His pressure suit can take his blood pressure. 116/81, pulse 112, blood oxygen 99 reads off on his left arm, I'll friggin' take it!
The ship is amazingly intact from what he can tell. He can't get any readings. The systems test meter seems to be working, but can't find any voltages anywhere. The ship seems to be completely dead. Behind him, 10 passenger seats are all surrounded by airbags and the back of the cabin ends in some sort of dirt-and-gravel and there's a bit of daylight seeping in around the edges. He was the only one on board, though, so their deployment was mostly academic (they might have stiffened the structure a little during the crash, but that's probably trivial.) Tightniks gets out of his spacesuit. The air on this planet is actually breathable. He gets the hatch open, steps outside and-
"A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground."
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. Where am I? What's my name? I remember nothing. Aren't babies born naked? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Gets up, looks around. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He picks up a small stone from the ground, this also feels heavier than it should. He rises to his feet and holds it out somewhat (he's unable to fully extend his arm) and lets it go. The stone hits the ground near his feet quickly and with remarkable speed. It's the gravity, it's greater than it is on- ...where am I from? This is- ...not my home planet? "Oooh..."
"Ka?" it says.
What is that? It's cute, at least.
It is not tame. He has no hope of catching it on foot. The creature seems to like the berries. Maybe if I gather some of those into one place and set some kind of trap...
33s: First trap.
I got one! The human lumbers up to the trap and gets the catch open. Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to me; I'm so friggin' screwed.
It doesn't. It looks at the human with a sense of wonder, actually. A blink and tilt of the head. Seems almost to be asking, Is it you? My purpose? My savior? Once out of the trap, which is totally wrecked, he has to make a new one from scratch, it follows him around like a imprinted hatchling bird.
Wiry little fella, you are. You're going to need some bulking up to do anything useful. The- ...'trimp', I guess... The trimp seems just barely able to feed itself. The human lets him into the broken ship's intact cabin, and it curls up comfortably in a passenger seat for a nap.
1m03s: Second trap.
"Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant."
What are they doing?
The trimps appear to be androgynous, and these two have paired off in the back of the ship. They're holding something carefully within a few hours, feeding it berries, grass, and- ...corundum.
Corundum?? Whatever that is, it isn't a baby.
1m35s: Third trap.
Only it IS a baby! The third trimp he trapped immediately joined the other two in raising it. They have a strange diet of food the human has found compatible with his own body, but they also eat rocks! They're careful to crush and sort aluminate minerals from silcate ones and only eat aluminate. Actually, they don't eat aluminate, they're only feeding it to the baby.
2m06s: Fourth trap.
All four are raising the same child, who is just starting to toddle. It seems these fellas have alumina or maybe even aluminum bones. The human takes a nap and wakes to find the first child grown up and they're starting to raise a second child, all five of them.
2m46s: Huts.
The human found a working bit of electronics. He calls it a pad, but maybe it's more like a smartphone. It has plans for two residential structures. The first, the smaller one, he can build right away, but the second one needs something called "drywall", and he has to figure out how to make that before he can build it. Huts and houses, apparently.
3m13s: 10 pop, full, first farmer.
The trimp he trained to farm and make paper took an incredible 50 units of food to get bulked up to do the work, and now it's not participating in rearing the child. But less than an hour after the trimp started farming and pulping, the child was out on its own, and the trimps did not start another. The ten seats on the ship were all full. Well, eleven counting the one up front that the human sleeps in. The pilot starts exploring the area.
3m28s: Battle.
Wait, what are you do-
The hostile roars and charges at the human, but one of his trimps jumps in front of him with a stick and they fight. It started right when the human got far enough away from the ship that the hostile non-trimps away from the ship began to regard him as leaving his own territory. After the trimp defeats the first enemy, it continues after other hostiles.
3m53s: Shield I in Z1c5.
The human is easily able to recover the loot in the territory cleared by the fighting trimp. Then he sees something glinting in the- That can't be! What the heck is that? It's a data card that fits his pad. It quite clearly regards trimp combat. He gets it loaded into his pad and studies it. I can do this, it just takes some wood. He returns to the ship to discover that they had already started on a new child before the fighter had even expired in battle. The human concentrates on his research.
4m38s: Mskel in Z1c11 defeated.
The remains of this one seem rather white and shiny. It's titanium! This enemy had titanium bones! He'll store them away. They'll be useful someday, I'm sure.
5m52s: Dagger I in Z1c20.
Where are these data cards coming from? The human wonders as he loads this one into his pad, It's for a weapon it calls a dagger. He blinks. I don't know what a dagger is. I'll take your word for it, data card. Needs metal. He has gathered some, but ore is plentiful. He can just dig and smelt it whenever he wants. For now, I'll continue researching.
6m18s: Arable in Z1c21.
It's an old cave that trimps like to live in. Why weren't they able to live there before? How could these friendly critters be confined to only the exact spot where THAT thing, he looks back where he came from, not remembering that he piloted the wrecked ship to its current resting place, crashed? This is really strange. I'll let them fill up this cave before advancing further. Wait, what about defenses? The hostiles never try to reclaim territory that they've lost, so he stops worrying about that fairly quickly.
8m22s: First hut is 0.3% first ever AP.
The trimps seem fairly easy to please in terms of living quarters. Two move into his first hut and start raising a child. The human has his tent, uniform, and the heater pilfered from his space suit. Not much of a mud fan.
9m59s: Miners in Z1c30.
Oh, what's on this data card? Sl3niw? Oh, I'm holding the pad upside down. Miners. I can teach trimps how to mine ores and smelt met- 200 units of food? Each job is getting more expensive to train a trimp for. He puts his bee nickels to his eyes and spots another data card probably 10 enemies away. "Sc"? Does that means science? I can teach trimps to do science??
13m57s: Scientists in Z1c40.
Due to the expense of training trimps, the human couldn't afford to build them shields until now, he's got Sh1-3 made for the fighter to capture the science training data card. 14m02s: One head went into that turtlimp shell, that of his fighter, but two came out: his fighter still has his head on, and he managed to get the turtlimp's head off. It rushes off after the deadly penguimp in the next cell. The shields are not doing all that much good, actually, but they're better than nothing. The human picks up and loads the science data card and- Holy runny sugar-free fudge crap! 1000 food units, but it'll endow them with the ability to speak. Good. I'm getting bored with no one to talk to.
14m28s: Bloodlust purchased and AutoFight enabled (that delay after getting it is an effect of jacking up the job cost.)
As the human buries this expired little trimp warrior, he comes to the sobering realization that he has more trimp graves in his growing trimp colony than he does live trimps. And yet they seem more hopeful now than before I got to know any of them. They seem to think I'm the solution to all their problems or- Those two look east somberly, then notice that he's watching them and smile back and wave at him. ...one problem that is specific, but very, very huge for them. [The only reason I say 'east' is because that's right on a map, and the game advances right across a row, then up. I might say 'northeast' on occasion for that reason.]
20m47s: Z1c73, Miners taken.
Are you my new mining foreman? The trimp who took to the mining training has dark brown fur that lays flat on its head. It's unusual in not having any bits that stick out from its head, ahoge or whatever. This one is relatively quiet, and while it has assimilated the mining and smelting knowledge, it needs to bulk up to do any mining. Smelting is relatively easy, and getting a strong natural draft going in a furnace is almost trivial with the increased gravity. This trimp builds furnaces like nothing. And likes to nap in holes it digs right on the spot; it's weird that way. [Puchim@s Yukipo, and furnaces are not explicit in Trimps.]
21m58s: Farming in Z1c80.
The resourcing "books" are not data cards but paper scrolls, apparently lost to the trimps. It seems that they were civilized in the recent past and some calamity swept over the planet to reduce them to this. Did I have something to do with it? Amnesia sucks harder than a Dyson- ...what's a Dyson? Whatever, it sucks. This disaster happening just before I crash in the only spot with trimps still alive would be a seriously crazy coincidence! Something is really, really wrong about all this. [The author has not sought or received product placement permission or fee from Dyson Technology Ltd. or any resellers of their stuff, just they literally suck balls and made my favorite vacuum cleaner.]
23m50s: Builder in Z1c90.
They've rescued an, I dunno, gelding trimp? It just started to build a shed around the piled lumber I left to build one. It's really slow compared to me, and just banged its thumb, but it is super cute with that long reddish head fur. That particular trimp is also fascinated with pink ribbons and likes to decorate its head fur with them. Because of its inherent inability to participate in rearing children, it isn't counted in the population. [Puchim@s Io, builder on the basis of Iori seen building in 1x10.]
26m02s: Zone 2, 44 pop, 5.5s RC with Z0/1.
It's some sort of tactical manual - tactical coordination. Coordination! He's starting to sort out some trimpese on the research he has done so far. It needs a lot of metal, so they won't be able to implement it for some time. Hopefully, they're still good one at a time, but these enemies seem to be getting bigger as we go along. Uh oh!
27m33s: Gym in Z2c5.
It's some sort of training dojo or sporting arena. The human examines the ruins, I think I can back-engineer drawings for this, get one built, and see what happens.
29m02s: 1g, 47 pop, 10.8s RC with Z1/2.
The two fighting trimps now with their gym and coordination are dodging and blocking enthusiastically, and making much faster ground against the bad guys then a little while ago when it was just one trimp fighting at a time and unable to avoid the enemy hitting back.
40m46s: Fresh turkimp in Z2c74, 63 pop, 7.9s RC, Sh1-10, Da1-5, Bo1-3, Ma1-3, Hm1-3, 6g.
Oh, wow, the laborers seem really hot after this turkimp. He cooks it up and tries a slice. It's really awesome! I have to work alongside his laboring trimps to share it, but I'm getting used to the gravity now. That scroll we found back in Z2c10 really helped. Trimps' techniques and appliances for handicapped individuals, and I'm really handicapped in this higher gravity. He joins the woodcutters with the turkimp; they're the most numerous resource laborer right now, building more gyms, enough that the block/dodge ability of the fighting trimps is almost caught up to the enemy's ability to cause damage.
43m15s: Zone 3, 63 pop, 7.9s RC with Z1/2.
I'm neglecting my science and trimp scientists are really expensive. Curiously, that grey-haired one can't speak all that well, only says "Tai" and "Shijou", but it can write and draw like nobody's business. It's the only scientist so far. [Puchim@s Takanya: Online references probably still claim that she can utter the first two syllables of any word, but she can actually utter only the first two kana syllables of someone's name, most often the given name of basis human Takane Shijou, who also has that habit. (All the utterances of the puchidoru are based on the speech foibles of their basis humans except maybe Piyopiyo, where I haven't seen anything match up so far.)]
47m32s: Finally, we can make drywall and houses. 59m30s: Z3c77, 94 pop, 7.8s RC.
Oh, those poor things are really struggling up at the front. These trimps are enthusiastic and know no fear, but I still feel like telling them to stop for a while. I don't have the heart to keep them from trying while they're still doing some damage.
1h05m24s: Zone 4, 107 pop, 9.3s RC with Z3/4. 1h15m26s: Zone 5, 120 pop, 8.2s RC with Z3/4.
"What is that?" the human asks. He has three scientists. His first does all the writing, but the other two can actually speak. One of them hops up on a rock spire beside the human to reach his eye level.
At the next ridge line, over the lowest and most passable gap in the terrain, this really mean looking hovering sausage monster.
"I dunno," the scientist trimp shrugs, "But it's making me hungry. Looks like a perfectly cooked frankfurter from here." [John Morell's dubious dirigibles.]
"Oh, yeah," the human nods, "that's a blimp."
"A blimp?" the trimp tilts its head quizzically at the human, "How could you know?"
"I wish I could tell you, little buddy," the human extends his arm braces to descend the pass on the side of the zone boundary in the boss enemy's direction, then grunts, "Let's go kill it."
1h16m11s: Z1c9, 120 pop, 10.3s RC with Z4/5. 1h33m34s: Zone 6, 151 pop, 7.4s RC with Z4/5.
1h33m54s: TP in Z1c3.
"What's this?" the human asks, having picked up the little square document with the curling corners.
"Oh," the hungry scientist looks at it, "It's a garden path, follow me."
"You want to lead me down the garden path?" the human says.
"Yeah," the scientist says.
"Are you kidding?" the human asks.
"No," says the other scientist, "We don't get human humor. Listen, these fighters can't go, let them wear themselves out here, then we'll take the next group through this garden."
"Okay," the human nods, watching two more trimps join the fray as he issues the Z5 coordination orders, "they're doing pretty well after all that block training research we just wrapped up." [That's a common artifact, even in normal games, Z5 Traintacular combines with many gyms, enough population to add several trainers, affording Blockmaster, which is expensive on a run zero, plus a break on Tion Z5, a 40% all-stat increase. I don't think Zach designed it into the game on purpose, it just worked out this way.]
1h34m07s: 151 pop, 10.5s RC with Z5/7. 1h37m44s: Drop from Z6c39, TP for 3.
"Now we have these access map frags we can use to route through the old trimpopoli," the scientist explains, "Atlimpis for food, Morimpa for gems, Everimp for metal, and Impazon for wood."
"What about the garden?" the human asks.
"Well, we got lucky with Tricky Paradise," the scientist says, "but you can randomize the route and maybe get lucky. What's with that look?"
"Somehow, I'm remembering 'frag' as something that blew up with deadly pieces," the human says. [Different video games - ones with better graphics and worse gameplay Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ]
1h39m59s: Blues back up to the top on series I...
"Tai, Tai!" the first ever trimp scientist stops the human just before he upgrades the mace and dagger to Mk.6 and Mk. 8 respectively. It has a note for him.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" the human asks, "Do you think that's my name?"
"Shijou, Shijou," it nods as though to indicate, I KNOW it is. Then it proffers its note again. The human takes it and reads, "Don't upgrade the first row equipment right now."
"Why not?" the human asks.
"Shijou," it points at the end of the mapped route, where there's a scroll sticking out of the thistles.
2h24m07s: Zone 8, 224 pop, 12.2s RC with Z7/12.
"Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help."
2h49m10s: Zone 9, 357 pop, 9.5s RC with Z8/15.
"You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?"
The trimps really seem to like the new high capacity mansions, and the village has rapidly expanded since they started building them.
"There's something familiar about this," the human says.
"Tai," the grey one that writes clings to his arm and shows him a note that says, "Don't give up now."
"We must persist," says the yellow one has found a foothold it can grab onto and grabs the human's shoulder gently, "If you give up to early, we'll never solve this. You'll be stuck here forever."
The human puts his hand over the trimp's paw on his shoulders, then looks at him, "I can die, too."
"No, you can't," the trimp says quietly, "Please don't test that, tall one."
"Death is just another path..." he remembers.
"Gan," the grey one squeaks. [That's the first two kana syllables of "Gandalf"]
"...one that we all must take," the human continues, "The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it-"
"A green mist," the yellow trimp interrupts, "flash of fire, we're all gone and our progress forgotten. The wandering stars return to that day, and you again crash that ship- ...a little better every time."
"Wait," the human looks around, "have I been here before?"
"I-" the yellow trimp tries in futility to share what little it knows, "...or... somebody got just a little coolant into the-"
"Into the what?"
"This side up," the grey one's note says.
"Into the that," the yellow one points at the note, "It really helped. You- ...I don't think we've ever had mansions before."
Well, of course they didn't have mansions before. That was one of my ship's data cards. How did it get way out here? Will anything start to make sense?
3h02m13s: Zone 10, 387 pop, 8.7s RC with Z8/15; '28s: 11.1s RC with Z9/19. 3h16m41s: Tough snimp after food book, L10 rand dept from lo-hi-med 118/25/96, 4 Items.
"That's twice our frags led us to gem-rich Moria," the human says.
"Morimpa," the new red trimp scientist corrects, there now being 5 scientists. [There'd be more if there were more turkimp.]
"The question is how do we use all these gems?" the human looks at the village zoning plans again, "I like those mansions and all, but they use hardly any gems compared to, well-" he gestures at the pile of over two dozen thousand gems they've gathered, "-that! And still a lot of wood and lumber."
"I think there's something," the yellow one sighs, "I wish I knew more."
Quite some time later, after they're done looting that route for equipment plans, the trimps are again advancing through Zone 10, and he hears it.
"Tai?" the grey one wonders.
"Where are you going?" the yellow one asks.
"To the farm," the human answers.
"Whatever for?" the red one seems exasperated.
"Shijou?" the grey one sighs, then looks at the fighting front. It's been around long enough to remember, "Shijou!"
"You guys already get so much to eat this doesn't do you much good," the human explains.
3h32m33s: L11 112/35/78 rand sea, dropped from Z11c6 with disband, 4.
"What's wrong?" the red one asks.
The human comforts one of the wounded. Once trimps start into a zone fight, they have to finish before they bleed out. He's really bothered making them desert in front of that second turkimp. "They had a lot left in them," he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "but we can't keep that much dead turkimp at once, we have to leave it alive to use up all of this one."
"Shijou," the grey one presents a note, "We need this map right away, anyway. Don't worry about it, Tightniks."
"Tightniks?" he looks at the grey one, "Is that me? How do you know?"
"Tai," the grey one points at the top of the human's left breast pocket.
"Ah, crud," the yellow one curls its tail around in front of itself as trimps do when they're embarrassed, "Is that really a name tag?"
The human hadn't even noticed it since the green flash blew up his memory as he was stepping out of the ship.
4h04m22s: Block (sub-8h AP is only 0.3%), taking it, 504 pop, 9.8s RC with Z10/24.
It's a pretty thick book about using shields for block instead of hit points. The pad has the stats analysis. Sh3-1 is only giving us 9% of our hit points. Turning to his trimp scientists, he says, "It seems to me to be worth it."
"Let's," the yellow one nods.
"Shijou," it hands him a note, "It scales badly, but that won't matter for a long time. I think there's a way to undo it before it matters."
"Doing it." The human takes out his pad and starts scanning.
4h29m05s: L14 rand moun 137/26/80 is really good for a lo-hi-med. 4h30m52s: Hotels.
"Ah," the yellow one says, "I knew there was something. That must be it."
5h08m09s: L15 lo-hi-hi rand gard 129/28/82 (just got explorers). 5h09m32s: Picked up Wall.
"Dam," the human says.
"Damn?" the red one chuckles.
"No," the human says, "Earthen wall dam; it's a thing that makes artificial lakes by holding rivers back."
"Lakes?" the yellow one asks, "Rivers?"
"Oh yeah," the human says, "This planet doesn't have enough rain for those..."
5h48m21: Leaving Wall from about c70 to fetch Tion Z15.
"You can't resume the map from the same point if you start another," the human reads the grey one's note.
"We can go back to the same point on that route if we hold there and finish Zone 15, right?" Tightniks asks.
"Shijou!" it seems to be saying yes.
"Yes," the yellow one adds, "but we're out of Series III upgrades, and you need a fresh map route to start up Series IV."
"We should be okay," Tightniks says, "but if we have to start it over, I don't see that being a big deal." As they advance through the rest of Zone 15, Tightniks resumes his usual duties at the research desk instead building and running traps like he was before.
The trimps seem hopeful at this decision.
5h49m10s: Fresh turkimp. 5h50m16s: Zone 16, 1071 pop, 13.4s RC with Z15/75, 13m43s turkimp (skel in c1.)
"Z:16 Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?"
"So," Tightniks lowers his bee nickels and looks at the red one, "is it going to be boss fights at the end of every zone from now on?"
"Hmm," the red trimp looks up past the human at some random rock spire or cloud.
"Well?" the human persists.
"Yup," he says.
"Hmph," Tightniks grabs a Sw3-1 of the rack and advances towards the front, "Before then, we have another Mister Titanium."
"What does he like about skeletimps?" the red one asks the grey one as the human marches off.
"Shijou?" the grey one seems just as confused by that.
"He's not going back to the ship, and he's not getting himself killed," the yellow one smiles, "so I'll take it."
5h58m32s...
"Hey guys, go for the mortar!" the human suggests to his 75 fighting trimps in the Wall's boss fight.
"I can tell from your bedtime stories that you're used to the artillery in that other place," the yellow one gripes, "but fighting works differently here, there's no artillery."
And the human instantly collapses laughing, the scientists a little worried he might have injured himself in the planet's severe gravity. But he's okay, at least physically, "Mortar is the stuff between the bricks, fellas. That's is a brickimp, right?"
5h59m18s: Wall, 1076 pop, 13.3s RC, 1% AP for sub-8h finish, first L16 roll good 156/35/84 moun, 10 for the metal.
Beyond the Wall was a more edenic section of the trimpolis ruins, doubling the production of the lumberjacks. The trimps are actually really happy with the mode of all of the laborers moving between the three big jobs, along with the turkimp, except for the foremen specialized at leading the job. It isn't enough to boost their productivity, but the human goes to them with trays of sandwiches.
6h06m52s: 50 map run 0.3% AP...
6h19m13s: Zone 17, 1141 pop, 16.0s RC with Z16/94, no turkimp.
"Z:17 You climb a large cliff and look out over the new Zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!"
"Hmm," the human surveys the new zone with his bee nickels, "Looks like crap. Any ideas?"
"You're the idea man," the yellow one groans.
"Set the map flag," he puts his bee nickels away, "We'll run a depth for practice and to load up on gems for more hotels."
"Righto," the red one gets to work.
6h44m34s: First DCP. (Draglimp Care Package; I refuse to call it a tribute.)
"Oh," the human says, "It's tame now, so it brings back gems in exchange for food?" He looks at his gaping scientists, "That's what it looks like, huh? Guys? Yo!"
"Tai..." the grey one sighs.
Draglimp, the dragimp imprinted on Tightniks, lands beside the human, drops some gems at his feet, and accepts some scratching behind its horns before diving into the food bowl.
"You tamed a dragimp???" Grey's note says.
"Well," the yellow one huffs, "I guess that happened."
8h18m53s: L20 depth of 154/27/79.
"Mapping up here?" the red one half closes one eye and tilts his head.
"Yeah," the human says while fitting together the depth map fragments, "With the coordination book not right at the end, we have an extra mark of coordination to take advantage of. Let's take our housing up to 2000 or so, shall we?"
"Okay," the yellow one says from a pile of logs, "What's all the wood for?" They had been collecting it for days now.
"The series upgrades follow a rather specific pattern," Tightniks explains, "Just on the other side of this blimp is Zone 21, where we should be able to find the Shield series V, right?"
"Shijou!" the grey one nods.
8h56m17s: 1% AP for 100 map runs, leaving it, 1751 pop, 24.8s RC with Z20/232. 8h56m54s: Zone 21...
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from that."
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes. [Whether it looks like the one in Puchim@s 1x61 is anyone's guess. That one annoyed me as well as Chihya.]
9h02m37s: L21 moun first roll was a decent 160/26/84. 9h21m00s: Starting run 5 of that map...
Tightniks had taken his anger out on some food and wood to build about 8000 traps. Now he's leaning against a rock spire in his increasingly tattered uniform. A nap begins, perhaps unintentionally.
Wild trimps are examining the pile, finding it unwelcoming, and also finding no place in the town, just mill about. It looks like they want to help.
"Ku?" it's a blue trimp, probably a farmer waiting for stuff to grow, climbs up on the rock spire the human is leaning against, starts patting him on the head, "Ku. Ku ku." [Puchim@s Chihya.]
9h23m09s: Still working that lap...
Tightniks wakes up from that nap, and the grey one is standing there. "Shijou," it says with a note of concern, although not much of one. The note it holds says, "It wasn't me."
"Oh, what wasn't you, buddy?" He stretches out a bit, feeling somewhat refreshed. It feels like somebody washed his face and hair while he was sleeping.
The grey one is also holding a small mirror, apparently broken off from a larger mirror and with the sharp edges filed down to make the edges safe.
The human takes it from the grey trimp and holds it in front of his face to discover that somebody has bound up all his hair into about twenty little pigtails. He touches them with his other hand to confirm. "Eh, whatever." He hands the mirror back and goes back to sleep. [Puchim@s Koamimami.]
9h30m08s: The following run...
"He's not throwing stuff every which way yet," the yellow one whispers to the red one, watching the human snoozing with his pad on his knee.
"You remember that, too?" the red one asks.
"'Remember'?" the yellow one turns to face the red one, "I s'pose that's better than imagining it."
"I remember it, too," the grey one says via a playing card sized note.
"If we're stuck in a time loop," the yellow one sighs, "maybe this cycle will be different."
"Tai..." the grey one admires him for a moment. Then thumbs in the direction of the mountain, "Heh, Shijou!" it laughs.
9h35m58s: Run 8, c9 of that map.
The scientists nap and take notes, and meditate and take notes, and draw stuff. The grey one often storyboards for the other nine because it's the best at drawing stuff. They have come up with a list, and most probably "order" (they're debating whether their ranking means "order" (sequence of things happening over the various loops) or "frequency" (what proportion of previous loops they have happened in). But they've come up with this, from first (or perhaps most often) to most recent (or perhaps least often):
- The ship crashes (they're pretty sure that happens every loop) - The human builds huts - The human teaches some of his trimps to speak and do science - The human builds houses - The human makes maps - The human builds mansions - The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp - The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels - The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp - The human only recently/rarely maps the Dimension of Anger
They're all agreed that that they have never finished the Dimension of Anger. What they are not all agreed on is that they've never done this conference to figure out whether they're in a time loop or what that might mean. [See also Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect" ...which was sort of a time loop but they weren't going back in time. It's very interesting, but its meta makes no sense - no one ever went looking for the Bozeman in 80 years? No one who went looking for the Bozeman also got stuck? No one noticed the passage of time outside the little area of space where the not-quite-a-time-loop was happening? Errr... sci-fi writers, don't be half-assed about your time loops, lmao! Be like Harold Ramis- ...what am I saying?? (That would be Groundhog Day, which grafted a time loop into a romcom; there are no other sci-fi elements. But it was a full-blown time loop and not half-assed like "Cause and Effect".)]
9h54m06s: Dropped from Z21c95...
I think it would be a bad idea to bypass that green area, as much as I'd rather not face it. Both his domesticated trimps, which are breeding up a new group of fighters, and the wild trimps he has decided just now not to open the traps for, stare at him and point in that direction. He shoulders a huge Shield V-3 and grabs an Mace IV-2 as well and announces, "We're doing it." Thus equipped, he marches off into the Dimension of Anger.
10h27m53s: Taking Pi4-2; recently had taken Pa4-2...
The group at the front had expired, and the snimp in DoAc95 glares at the advancing colony of trimps, which had halted only because of it. It refuses to counterattack the vulnerable colony and its human, instead snorting and huffing, waiting for the next bunch of 232 fighting trimps to come in range.
Tightniks runs along the line of traps, releasing the recently tamed trimps, singing a song that he doesn't remember the meaning of, that he doesn't remember was crafted by an ethnically Chinese guy out of an African language, and later mastered by two caucasians over the internet before they ever met in person. "Baba yetu yetu uliye, mbinguni yetu yetu amina..." because it just happened to be stuck in his head. [Because the Doylian author decided on a whim to. Christopher Tin got it into Civilization IV and at the time (2010 July), I made the best video for it on YouTube, which got subsequently blown to shreds when Peter Hollens and Malukah re-recorded the song from scratch in their own voices and instruments in 2014, pity with no English translation, the purpose of my video.]
Noticing the last batch of metal he needs coming out of the furnace, he waves the waiting grey scientist to fire up the forge [to use the term properly and not as the game does], for it was time to wrap up the forging dies for the Spetum IV, Mark 2 pike heads.
"Shijou!" the grey one cheers, setting aside a snack that looks like maybe ramen, and starts jumping up and down on the bellows handle.
It takes a while for the human to chip out the tip in the two halves of the forging die, and then polish it, and then heat it up in the forge, and then quench it, inspect it, and put it into service crafting thousands of new pike heads for the fighting trimps.
But only one second passed on the map frame clock (10h27m54s) four cells behind that snimp, in the case being brooded over by this huge, and if it's honest, rather concerned megablimp.
10h35m45: Portal PB, 45 He, 4.247 He/hr, 1891 pop, 22.7s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' mace heads bounces of it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Mace IV, Mark 3 with both hands and gets it over his shoulder, its target obviously this object, anger at the realization he screams at the top of his lungs, "We are stuck in a mutha FAH-king time loop!!" His swing begins. [Tightniks almost never cusses, unlike Snugniks.]

Hello fellow Brisbanians!

It's (almost) that time of week again. What are you doing this weekend?
Looks like it's market week across Brisbane. Some markets have specified being cashless. Some may ask for a gold coin donation - it's always wise to take *some* cash/change to a market day.
Personal pick of the week has to be the The Temporary Route Tour by the Transport Museum - I'm an anorak at heart. Don't forget to take a Boogie Break this Saturday afternoon. Boys - Free Men's BBQ at New Farm Park on Sunday. Get warmed up for the weekend with Women's Origin this Thursday.
The German word for art is 'kunst'. Gave my year 9 German class a chuckle. Check out the German Film Festival at Palace Cinemas until the 29th of May.
Every suburb has it's own local. They often have their own itinerary of weekly things to do. Trivia, Karaoke - things like that. Is your local a cut above the rest? Let us know in the comments!
As always, feedback is welcome and if I have missed your event (likely!) please let us know in the comments.
There's not much going on Thursday - not true, I just need to look harder and get back to you. LGBTQIA+ Event List Last Week's List

Friday

What: Ipswich Show Where: Ipswich Showgrounds When: Fri, Sat, Sun Price: From $25 Adult Ticket: https://www.ipswichshow.com.au/purchase-tickets
What: Local's Weekend Where: Brighton Hotel When: Fri - Sun Bookings Recommended - https://brightonhotelmotel.com.au/events/locals-weekend/
What: Town and Country - Country Music Festival Where: Regatta Hotel - 543 Coronation Drive When: Fri 1500 - Sun 2000 Price: Free Entry https://regattahotel.com.au/events/town-and-country/
What: Brazilian Styles Dance Workshop Where: 163 Boundary Street, West End When: Fri 1930 - 2330 Price: from $10 Tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/friday-night-mixed-brazilian-styles-social-night-with-samba-workshop-tickets-894096866797
What: Hanksy Motorcycles and Hans Coffee Cup Cafe Where: 13/58 Bullockhead St, Sumner When: Fri - 1730 - 2130 Price: Free
What: Brookfield Show Where: Brookfield Showground When: Fri 0900 - Sun 1800 Price: From $30 Tickets: https://www.brookfieldshow.com.au/shop/

Saturday

What: Paniyiri Greek Festival Where: Musgrave Park When: Sat 1200 - Sun 2100 Price: From about $17 Ticket: https://tickets.paniyiri.com/outlet/event/a293ee70-d8d1-4da4-9201-a170f6f385d2
What: Distillery Road Market Where: 124 Distillery Road, Eagleby When: Sat 0900 - Sun 1600 Price: From $18 Ticket: https://www.thecollectorsmarket.com.au/event-details/the-collectors-market-may-2024
What: CaBBaret Shine Bright Like A Diamond Where: The Rosie Theatre When: Sat 1800 - 2200 Price: From $25 Ticket: https://events.humanitix.com/cabbaret-shine-bright-like-a-diamond
What: Warehouse Clearance Furniture Sale Where: 72 Donaldson Rd. Rocklea When: Sat 0900 - Sun 1600 Price: Free Ticket: None
What: What We Design Market Where: Coorparoo Square When: Sat 0900 - 1300 Price: ? Ticket: None
What: Doggo Day Where: Vend Virginia When: Sat 0900 - 1300 Price: ? Ticket: None
What: Food Truck Night Market Where: Mt Gravatt Showgrounds When: Sat 1600 - 2100 Price: $3 Adult Entry Ticket: On the door
What: A Night At The Museum Where: QLD Museum When: Sat 1715 - 2030 Price: Family Tickets $115 - Cashless Event Ticket: https://qm.t.qtix.com.au/qm/events/018a4549-e927-08f4-a97e-5ea613e044b0
What: Carseldine Market Where: 532 Beams Road, Carseldine When: Sat - 0600 - 1200 Price: ? Ticket: None, probably
What: Pawfect Day on the Green - My Crosby Markets Where: 770 Mount Crosby Road When: Sat 0900 - 1400 Price: ? Ticket: None
What: The Temporary Route Tour - Transport Museum Where: Muller Road, Adelaide St or Gympie Rd When: Sat - 0715 Price: $20pp - Bring lunch money Ticket: Call QOCS Member Peter Donaro on 0476 838 012
What: Modern Jive in the Wild Where: Kangaroo Point Lower River Terrace When: Sat 1430 - 1730 Price: FREE Ticket: Come and go as you please
What: Southside Collective Markets Where: 270 Kelvin Grove When: Sat 0800 - 1200 Price: ?
What: Slow Food Market Where: 44 Wolverhampton St, Stafford When: Sat 0730 - 1200 Price: ?
What: Cars and Coffee Where: 107 Fison Ave, Eagle Farm When: Sat - 0630 Price: ?
What: Weaving is Healing - Two Day Workshop Where: 152 Mt. Coot Tha, Mt. Coot Tha When: Sat - 1030 - Sun - 1530 Price: $220 Tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/weaving-is-healing-two-day-weekend-workshop-brisbane-part-1-tickets-849242526257
What: Ars Nova to Impressionism - One Equal Music Where: St. Brigids Church When: Sat - 1900 Price: U30 $30 - Adults $60 Tickets: https://www.trybooking.com/events/landing/1177930
What: Clay Class and Speed Dating - BYO - AGE: 25-37 Where: Wesley Taylor Art Studios When: Sat - 1830 Price: $49 Tickets: https://ignitesocialbrisbane.com.au/event/clayspeeddating/
What: Napoleon Champagne Dinner Where: TAMA Dining, 740 Ann St When: Sat 1900 - 2200 Price: From $299 Tickets: https://events.humanitix.com/napoleon-champagne-dinner
What: TeamMoto Kawasaki Demo Day Where: 2 Kensal St, Moorooka When: Sat 1000 - 1400 Price: ? Tickets: https://www.teammoto.com.au/blog/teammoto-kawasaki-demo-days/6669/
What: Lions vs Richmond When: Sat Where: The Gabba Tickets: https://thegabba.com.au/Events/Brisbane-Lions-v-Richmond-(2).aspx.aspx)

Sunday

What: Free BBQ for Men Where: New Farm Park When: Sun 1030 - 1200 Price: Free Ticket: None. RSVP FB Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/1002051341045618/1002051371045615/?active_tab=about
What: Valampuri's Exhibition & Sale Where: Darra Motel & Conference Centre When: Sun 0930 - 1600 Price: Free Ticket: None - RSVP FB Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/1175219386750361/
What: Main Street Orion - Springfield Markets Where: Orion Springfield Central When: Sun 0900 Price: ? Ticket: None
What: Japanese Sunday Market Where: 123 Charlotte St When: Every Sunday from 1000 Price: Free Ticket: None
What: The Curated Market Where: Floor 10, 53 Vernon Tce, Teneriffe When: Sun 0800 - 1100 Price: $5 Cashless Event Ticket: On the door
What: Suitcase Rummage Where: Brisbane Square When: Sun 1200 - 1700 Price: Free to attend Ticket: None (as buyer)
What: Vintage Exchange Market Where: 102 McDonald Road, Windsor When: Sun 0900 - 1400 Price: ? Cash Welcome
What: Slowly Made Locals Market Where: 37 Collingwood Street, Albion When: Sun 0800 - 1500 Price: ? Ticket: None, probably
What: Winter Warmers Pop-Up - I Want A Greyhound Where: 9 Saint Amand St, Sinnamon Park When: Sun - 0900 Price: ? Ticket: None
What: Her Wardrobe Markets Where: Mt Gravatt Showgrounds When: Sun 0800 - 1200 Price: Free Ticket: None, www.herwardrobe.com for more info
What: PX Model Swap and Sell Where: Albany Creek State School When: Sun - 0900 - 1300 Price: $5 Entry / $25 Sellers Ticket: Contact https://www.facebook.com/ipmsqld
What: CavRoad Markets Where: 12 Cavendish Road When: Sun 0700 - 1300 Price: Free - Parking Available Ticket: None
What: Adoption Day at PetBarn Where: 2021 Wynnum Road, Shop B4, Wynnum Plaza When: Sun - 1000 - 1500 Price: Free
What: Bowl Carving Workshop - SOLD OUT Where: Armoured Heaven, Station Road, Yeerongpilly When: Sun - 1300 - 1600 Price: $160 Tickets: https://plantempire.com.au/collections/workshops/products/bowl-carving-workshop-19-may-2024
What: Walking in Wartime Where: Museum of Brisbane When: Sun - 1030 - 1200 Price: $25 Adult Tickets: https://www.museumofbrisbane.com.au/whats-on/walking-in-wartime/
What: Redcliffe Markets - Stone Tree Collection Where: 79 Redcliffe Pde When: Sun 0800 - 1400 Price: ?
What: Little Monsters @ Netherworld Where: Netherworld, Fortitude Valley When: Sun 930 - 1130 Price: $10p/p Tickets: https://www.netherworldarcade.com/event/little-monsters-3/
What: UQ Social Runners Club Where: New Farm Park When: Sun - 0700 Price: ? Tickets: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScY8N9vovDDEpSPqSn-_FWObazs58r6j-0qhrwLowOrfwGZOA/viewform
What: Spice World Where: New Farm Cinema When: Sun - 1600 Price: $14 - $19 Tickets: https://www.fivestarcinemas.com.au/new-farm/movie/spice-world-the-movie

Seven ravens go with Arianne Martell to be Doran's eyes and ears to Aegon and the Golden Company in the Stormlands. And while Arianne's journey progresses she will likely need to make a choice... will she send the word 'dragon' home in a letter, the coded word asking for Dorne to call their spears and join Aegon's cause? Or will the word be 'war'? (...in this case 'war' means 'wait')... I'll let you decide - I assume most people's minds are pretty set on this point, and mine own is not really standard canon, so I will only say the last raven seems an ill omened thing as the seventh of a set is often linked to The Stranger, Westeros' god of death.
The topic I hoped to brainstorm today is not actually about what Arianne decides... but rather what happens next. Because I notice with a lot of theories the assumption is that the Dornish houses waiting on Arianne's response will march in lockstep with whatever her and Doran's order is... but... will they? Some of the Dornish houses seem pretty independent-minded and I feel there's been some fairly significant foreshadowing emerging that Doran's hold over the the kingdom is only tentative at best. That's worth discussing... In particular three houses seem to repeatedly stand out as possibilities to challenge the peace regardless of the Martells' wishes: Houses Yronwood, Fowler, and Uller....

House Fowler 🪶

The Fowlers make their home at Skyreach, a castle with a lofty perch and soaring stone towers carved into the stone slopes of the Red Mountains overlooking the Prince's Pass, one of two major overland routes into Dorne, and the easier to traverse of the two (the other being the steep and treacherous Boneway). The House is led by Lord Franklyn Fowler 'the Old Hawk', who has two twin daughters - Jeyne and Jennelyn. What could cause House Fowler to rebel against the Martells' orders?
Sign #1 - The Fowlers closeness with Lady Nym
Oberyn's death was a rallying cry for a lot of Dorne desiring vengeance against the Lannisters, and in particular the news greatly effected the Sand Snakes - Nymeria Sand is said to be 'famously' close with the Fowler twins, she was actually with them the moment she learned of Oberyn's death, and it follows they likely sympathize with her position. In fact when Lady Nym first pitches Doran her plan to assassinate key Lannisters in King's Landing she does so by pleading the Fowler house words to him: "You know the Fowler words? Let Me Soar! That is all I ask of you. Let me soar, Uncle. I need no mighty host, only one sweet sister." And Doran would later tell Arianne that Nym is 'too close to the Fowler twins' (and thus unable to keep secrets from them). I imagine the Fowlers did not take the news well when they learned of Nymeria's imprisonment afterwards...
Sign #2 - Arianne's plea to Lord Fowler
Then when Arianne Martell is imprisoned herself after her Queenmaker plot she attempts to send out a secret message with one of her attendants to plead for help to free her from her father's grasp. She considers different options to address this letter to, someone ideally receptive to the idea of rebelling against Doran (which is no small thing to ask!) but also powerful enough to do so. Her first thoughts drift to Yronwood, but decides against them only because they fostered Quentyn and she believes he and Anders are conspiring against her, then goes through a few of the houses of her friends before finally deciding "that she had but two real hopes: Harmen Uller, Lord of Hellholt, and Franklyn Fowler, Lord of Skyreach and Warden of the Prince's Pass."
She ultimately decides to pen the letter to Lord Fowler because she thinks the Ullers as half-mad to the point of having a dangerous response. After that the attendant Cedra is presumably caught by Doran's men as she never reappears and Areo tells us that she was sent to the Water Gardens. But even without the letter actually going out the fact that she chose Lord Fowler to send this plea to probably says a lot about their overall relationship with Doran.
Sign #3 - A Toast to Tommen
In the Watcher chapter during the presentation of The Mountain's skull a toast to Tommen is made, and those who choose to drink or to refuse it give us another indication of the sentiments around Dorne... this is not subtly implied as much as it is directly pointed out by Areo:

The white knight did drink, as was only courteous. His companions likewise. So did the Princess Arianne, Lady Jordayne, the Lord of Godsgrace, the Knight of Lemonwood, the Lady of Ghost Hill … even Ellaria Sand, Prince Oberyn's beloved paramour, who had been with him in King's Landing when he died. Hotah paid more note to those who did not drink: Ser Daemon Sand, Lord Tremond Gargalen, the Fowler twins, Dagos Manwoody, the Ullers of the Hellholt, the Wyls of the Boneway. If there is trouble, it could start with one of them. Dorne was an angry and divided land, and Prince Doran's hold on it was not as firm as it might be. Many of his own lords thought him weak and would have welcomed open war with the Lannisters and the boy king on the Iron Throne.

Again the Fowler twins and Ullers show us that they still hold a lot of resentment. Daemon Sand makes sense too - he was part of Oberyn's retinue in King's Landing (sometimes rumored to have had a relationship with him) and watched him die, and after the Sand Snakes were imprisoned he went to Sunspear to demand their release and was imprisoned himself for the trouble. I'd keep an eye on him in Arianne's plot.
The Yronwoods weren't in attendance for the toast, however the Wyls were and refused it - I get the sense they are pretty close with the Yronwoods, both of which have their houses on the Boneway where they've joined forces. Another party that refused the toast, the Manwoodys, are stationed in the Prince's Pass and likely close allies with the Fowlers - lending more weight to the idea that this area is rebellious. House Gargelene is the one that's most difficult to place, being located in a fairly isolated spot in the south of Dorne at Salt Shore.
Sign #4 - The Troops in the Passes
By Arianne's TWOW excerpts we also hear that the troops in the Prince's Pass and the Boneway are becoming restless:

In the Boneway and the Prince’s Pass, two Dornish hosts had massed, and there they sat, sharpening their spears, polishing their armor, dicing, drinking, quarreling, their numbers dwindling by the day, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Prince of Dorne to loose them on the enemies of House Martell.

Darkstar's Plot
So how might the Fowlers act out? Outside of Arianne's raven being sent (and depending on the result), I think we should be keeping an eye on the Darkstar plot. Darkstar, per his own words and actions, seems to want to start a war against the crown and has presumably fled back to his home of High Hermitage in the Red Mountains where its implied he has support. He will probably pass by Starfall on the way up the Torrentine's rushing waters, but the Prince's Pass and Skyreach are both not that far from his location and in fitting with the prior indications of the Fowlers' intentions and Darkstar's overall goals he may try to incite the already anxious troops there to raid the Dornish Marches. These houses have a long history of animosity towards the Reach and Marcher Lords whose defenses will be exposed with Euron's attacks. Such an assault could parallel prior rogue leaders the Vulture Kings.

House Uller 🏜️

We've already seen that the Ullers play out somewhat similarly to the Fowlers - they were one of the major considerations for Arianne to send her plea for help to, and they were one of the parties notably refusing Tommen's toast. Lord Harmen Uller is the current Lord of the Hellholt, "a grim, stinking seat beside the sulfurous yellow waters of the Brimstone" located near the deep sands in the centesouth of Dorne.
There is a saying in Dorne we are told: 'half the Ullers are 'half-mad and the other half are worse.' And as Ellaria Sand is Lord Harmen's natural daughter when she and her little ones (Elia, Obella, Dorea, and Loreza) were locked away with the rest of the Sand Snakes Arianne thinks this would 'have made Lord Harmen wroth, and the Ullers were dangerous when wroth.' Its worth noting that in Arianne's Queenmaker plot her end goal was to get to Hellholt to officially crown Myrcella and raise her banners there...
What's interesting about Uller is that while they have a lot of reason to rebel there is at least one pacifying force headed their way - Ellaria Sand (who is also bringing Loreza with her). Ellaria sand accepted the toast to Tommen and despite having been Oberyn's paramour and closer to him than anyone as well as being there for his death, she is actually one of the strongest voices arguing for peace.

"A start?" said Ellaria Sand, incredulous. "Gods forbid. I would it were a finish. Tywin Lannister is dead. So are Robert Baratheon, Amory Lorch, and now Gregor Clegane, all those who had a hand in murdering Elia and her children. Even Joffrey, who was not yet born when Elia died. I saw the boy perish with mine own eyes, clawing at his throat as he tried to draw a breath. Who else is there to kill? Do Myrcella and Tommen need to die so the shades of Rhaenys and Aegon can be at rest? Where does it end?"

A Hidden Hellholt Chapter?
Given the Hellholts relative isolation you might be thinking how this could factor further into the plot.... maybe some news of Ellaria's daughters? Or later on if there is an invading force (as Ellaria and Doran fear is coming)? But I've actually been thinking that before Areo Hotah shows up in the Red Mountains we may get to see a chapter with him and Obara and Balon Swann at the Hellholt with Ellaria and Lord Harmen Uller, it would be rewarding to catch up with these characters and see their clashing perspectives on vengeance and Areo on the trail of Darkstar. Per some recent analysis of GRRM's chapter hints we can also kind of conclude there may be a few Areo chapters in varying locations. Another interesting thing pointing me in that direction is the soon to be released 2025 calendar which will be featuring artwork of the Hellholt... that's a strange inclusion for a castle with few mentions (the most relevant of which being Rhaenys' mysterious death long ago), and a lot of the other locations on the calendar do suspiciously have relevant plots nearing them in Winds (so if we haven't seen them already we may do so soon).
The logistics work out pretty well as Hellholt is practically a necessary stop on the way westward to the Red Mountains by land. Even though Arianne herself knows the desert well....

Beyond Vaith the deep sands waited. They would need help from Sandstone and the Hellholt to make that crossing, but she did not doubt that it would be forthcoming.

...Even she fears to tread the deep sands alone... and for Obara it may be the same despite her experience. You really should have a desert guide to locate water sources and navigate the terrain ("In the deep sands a man must hoard his water."). And one of the last safe stops for water and guides is the Hellholt making it invaluable for travelers crossing the sands. The sandstorms seem especially dangerous:

[...]beyond Vaith, western Dorne is naught but a vast sea of restless dunes where the sun beats down relentlessly, giving rise from time to time to savage sandstorms that can strip the flesh from a man's bones within minutes.

House Yronwood ⛓️

The Yronwoods are Dorne's second strongest house and their seat is located up in the high meadows of the Red Mountains near the Boneway where the air is always crisp and cool after dark, no matter how hot the day had been. Anders Yronwood, the Bloodroyal, is the leader here.
Even though previously we've seen a few signs that the Yronwoods may rebel given their brief consideration for Arianne's letter for help, and the Wyls' refusal of Tommen's toast, the biggest reason for them to strike out on their own might be their uniquely fractious relationship with the Martells (they also have a long rivalry with the Fowlers). In fact, we were told Yronwood was only just recently on the verge of rebellion after Oberyn allegedly poisoned Lord Edgar Yronwood in a duel after he was found abed with Edgar's paramour, and it was only Doran's quick thinking that avoided it.

Blood feud and rebellion would surely have followed Lord Edgar's death, had not her father acted at once. The Red Viper went to Oldtown, thence across to the narrow sea to Lys, though none dared call it exile. And in due time, Quentyn was given to Lord Anders to foster as a sign of trust. That helped to heal the breach between Sunspear and the Yronwoods, but it had opened new ones between Quentyn and the Sand Snakes...

Quentyn Aftermath & The Blackfyres
And the biggest thing that may reopen that wound is, not surprisingly, news of Quentyn's voyage. Anders Yronwood has lost two sons on what could be seen as a pretty foolish attempt to court Daenerys including his son and heir Cletus Yronwood, who was sent along on the voyage and died from a corsair attack off the coast of the Disputed Lands. The other son? Quentyn Martell himself.... despite him being a Martell, he is really more Yronwood at heart. He grew up in Yronwood with Anders, his best friend was Cletus, he became smitten with his eldest daughter Ynys (who is now heir to Yronwood), and then later fell in love with Gwyneth, the youngest daughter of Anders.... All of Quentyn's memories are with the Yronwood really and Arianne even notes he is somewhat a stranger to her and Sunspear. Doran himself is forced to admit that "Anders Yronwood has been more a father to him than I have".
Anders hasn't heard anything yet from Meereen, information moves slowly in Essos (which has no messenger ravens so it needs to be carried by hand) and most of the people who can pass on that message, like Arch and Drink, are still caught up in the Battle of Fire (and hoping that the Tattered Prince will be merciful to them for their previous desertion). Any news that might get back could end up with a distorted and unflattering picture of Daenerys too (and some of that fallout may carryover to Aegon who seeks to ally with her).
But even before it does the troops commanded by the Yronwoods in the Boneway are conveniently close to the events happening in the Stormlands with the Golden Company. And the Yronwoods have been suspiciously consistent partners of the Golden Company and Blackfyres in the past (which often drew in second houses with a lot to gain), which is all the more interesting given the rumors around Aegon ("Lords of Yronwood rode for the black dragon in no less than three of the five Blackfyre Rebellions.") So if Arianne seeks to side with Aegon and JonCon the Yronwoods might be the first to throw in with that cause... especially if its also a way to oppose Mace Tyrell given his hatred of all things Dorne. However, it might also be interesting if she takes after her father's advice to be cautious and tries to hold back her forces, leading to the Yronwoods ignorning her and Doran's commands and striking out on their own anyways. And it will be interesting how these events may combine with the x-factor of news of Quentyn and Cletus arriving at some point (whatever the timing of that might be in relation to the Battle of Steel).

So what do you think of Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood... will we see them act out in Winds or play loyal bannermen to Doran?
~Thank you for Reading!~
TLDR This post explores the ample foreshadowing that Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood may be unreliable allies of Doran when pressed, and their reaction may not follow what we'd expect when Arianne sends out her last raven either calling Dorne's spears to side with the Golden Company or holding off and keeping to the passes (taking after her father's more prudent advice). Could the Fowlers join with Darkstar and raid the Dornish Marches? Will we have a chapter at the Hellholt before Areo's party travels the deep sands where we see Lord Harmen Uller's rebellious nature collide with Ellaria Sand's attempts at peace? And will the Yronwood troops in the Boneway join their historic allies in the Golden Company, or have a divisive reaction to news of Quentyn and Cletus' deaths?

So disclaimer this is everything my roommate did when she lived with me from my perspective. Also this is a really long story because a lot happened, and I do tend to get sidetracked.
Before we became roommates, I had a situationship with this guy. Let’s call him John. John and I met in our first semester of college and hit it off right off the bat. John was a mutual friend of me and my psychotic roommate, which is how we were introduced. Let’s call her Shortstack. So Shortstack knew I had a thing for John, and was encouraging us to start a relationship which I thought was nice. Eventually, though, when there was a lull in our relationship she admitted to liking John, and I backed off because it was looking like a relationship between me and John wasn’t gonna happen. I did my best to subtly wingman and they ended up dating.
Right before they made it official, I had met someone new. We’ll call him Tim (I’m trying to use generic/default guy names to keep some anonymity). Tim and I hit it off right off the bat. He’s honestly the most genuine, talented, thoughtful, and interesting guy I’ve ever met. Anyway, right before John and Shortstack started dating, I got a text from Shortstack saying she had the hots for Tim and asked if I he was free game. I was a bit bothered by that, but she respected my answer when I politely told her that Tim and I had something good and I didn’t want anyone interfering. At least, I THOUGHT she respected my answer.
Almost a year later and I had asked Shortstack if she wanted to be my roommate so we could both live near school while not having to live on campus. Worst decision ever.
She moved in before I did, and when it was my turn to move in the place was an absolute disaster. Dirty clothes and empty Dominos boxes covered the floor. She had also set up her decorations all over the entire apartment (not really leaving any room for me, which was made worse by the fact that we shared a room, and the apartment was very tiny so we were basically living on top of each other). I brushed it off, but it never really got any better. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset, I’m not a huge neat freak or anything, but it peeved me that she would always point out any mess that I had made.
Here’s a list of some of her really gross habits: dirty underwear everywhere kept old dominos boxes everywhere would buy salads and let them expire and they would sit there until I took them out Refused to do any chores or contribute in any way our shower didn’t fully drain so hair was often left in the tub, but she never cleaned up after herself (meaning I was scrubbing her pubes out of the tub) Used tissues would be left on the ground Not flushing I never once saw her do laundry in the 6 months we lived together
I’m sure there’s more but these are just the ones that I remember. To be fair, here were my gross she took issue with: Leaving dishes in the sink for a long-ass time Letting my laundry basket overflow Walking around in a towel after I took a shower, even when her tinder dates were over (mostly cuz I didn’t give a shit and everything was covered, but I also understand that her glares when I would do that were a little deserved).
That was the easiest part of living with her that I had to deal with. It got so so so much worse, and slowly she started to reveal her true colours.
She had a job at a jewelry store, got fired. Moved to a job at a grocery store across the street, got fired. Bummed around for a few weeks, mostly just sitting on the couch doing arts and crafts. Tried a Zumba class, quit after 2 sessions. Finally she got hired at a movie theatre, but she would only work Friday and weekends. All the while a lot of new things were appearing in our apartment. New makeup, a makeup chair, a tiny plastic Dreamhouse, posters and picture frames, lights, you name it. She was also buying premade meals and continued to order Dominos and DoorDash, never making her own food.
That’s around the time I found a buried letter from our landlord saying she was 2 months behind on rent. (Also an honorable mention about her RGB lights, she would keep them on while I was trying to sleep, even when I had work in the morning which was most days and she’d throw a little hissy fit whenever I asked her to turn them off because it was midnight and I had to get up in a couple hours).
She would constantly be having guys over, but would never tell me, so I’d always come home to a stranger on our couch and I’d uncomfortably lock myself in our room. Walls were thin so I had to listen to her awful flirting and occasionally kissing noises. She had made a goal for herself to kiss at least 30 guys so she could write a book about it, one chapter for each guy. It’s funny because the book is coming out soon, I’m not gonna share the name because I don’t wanna promote an incel’s diary but if you happen to be one of the guys she wrote about, just know that she has said several times her type is “Generic kinda ugly white guys.” I don’t think that’s her type, I think she just says that because all of the super attractive guys she went after all shot her down so quick.
While she’s collecting “ugly-ish white guys” (her words), she has promised herself to some dude in the military overseas who has a ring with their initials carved into it (his name is Matt. I’m not censoring that because I genuinely hope he sees this even though chances are insanely slim. She’s Jodie-ing you my guy, and she wants to elope and marry you to piss her parents off and for financial benefits because she can’t keep a job).
ONTOP of all this, Tim (who at this point I had been with for over a year) would come over and visit sometimes. She was always miserable, but perked up and suddenly became so sweet and friendly whenever he was there. Tim kept trying to drop some social cues that he did not want to talk to her, but she ignored it. I also want to mention that Tim is incredibly attractive, physically and personality wise, which is the main reason I think that “ugly” isn’t actually her type, it’s just all she can get.
Oh quick mention one of her tinder guys was 17. She was close to 20 at the time. She said their age gap made her uncomfortable but she invited him over because she wanted to, and I quote, “lick his abs.” Take that as you will.
My breaking point with her was when I woke up one day with a random man in the room sleeping next to her. She let a random man from tinder have full unsupervised access to 2 unconscious girls and all of their valuable items. There’s more stuff she did but this is already super long so I’m going to leave it on this note. Let me know if you guys wanna hear the rest.

In case you don't know, the Sun Princess is Princess Cruises' latest behemoth ship. I just got back from a 2-week sailing and took meticulous notes on this epic new vessel. Here's my extremely detailed, no-BS review:

The Sheer Size is Nuts

When I say this ship is massive, I mean it's absolutely nuts how big this floating city is. Especially when you get off in ports and have to walk back down the dock to reboard - that's when the sheer scale of the Sun Princess really hits you. Even though it carries a ton of people, the only time it really felt crowded was during breakfast. The Eatery fills up quick and the International Cafe, which sits outside The Eatery doesn't lend itself well for crowds of people wiaint for their coffees. You kind of end up waiting in the middle of where the walking traffic moves.

The Medallion Life

Your entire cruise experience revolves around the new Medallion wearable device and app, for better or worse. I'll admit it has some creepy "Big Brother" vibes with how much it tracks your every movement and purchase. But the convenience it provides is undeniable.
The medallion is your modern day "cruise card" that you tap everywhere to make payments, order drinks, unlock your stateroom, get on/off the ship, and more. But what's crazy is the app can use the medallion to detect your location anywhere on board. Order a drink or meal through the app and the server will manage to find you anywhere on the ship to deliver it, usually within 15 minutes. Caveat: there were times when it took longer and other times when our order was marked "delivered" and it never arrived.
The medallion definitely feels like getting on/off the ship is way faster. The only time we ever waiting in line was for the few minutes it took people to run through security.
This made getting food/drinks almost too easy. On port days when we needed to get off the ship early for excursions, setting up a scheduled delivery of my Egg McMuffin, fruit plate in coffee was really convenient.
Fair warning though - if you're anti-tracking and value privacy over convenience, the ubiquitous Medallion system may not be for you.
Story: we were sitting by the Crooners bar having our nightly pre-dinner cocktail. The bar was packed on this night for some reason. A staff member in a suit started wandering the room, made eye contact with me from 40-feet away and then made a b-line for us. He wanted to sign us up for a wine/food pairing event they were having. I have to believe this is because of the tracking being done via the meddalion. They could see we drink our share of wine. It definitely felt like targeted marketing.

Premium Package Was Best for Us

We opted for the Premium beverage package at $80 per day and I'm glad we did for a few reasons:

1. If you need to have more than one device connected to the internet at a time, Premium makes sense just based on that (you can have four devices). The cheaper Plus package only allows one device, which was a non-starter for me needing both my phone and laptop to be online. I'm unfortunately not able to just live off the grid for almost three weeks and need to periodically check in with my clients.
2. The wine selection is way better with Premium vs Plus. As a wine drinker, the upgrade was 100% worth it.
3. Two free speciality dining meals are included, which was clutch on our 2-week cruise to break up the repetition of the main dining rotation.
4. Unlimited premium desserts and ice creams - a nice perk for those with a sweet tooth.

Basically, Premium removed almost any need to think about or worry over costs on board. For $80 per day, the premium drinks, speciality dining, better wines, desserts and internet made it an easy choice for our group's needs.
And for those wondering about the 15 drink per day limit (since there's almost a weekly post asking about it) - it was never an issue for me. I'm a scotch drinker and to get a decent pour, you basically have to order a double. Even drinking doubles, I never got to 15 drinks/day. This even includes sea days where we'd typically have a mimosa or two with breakfast, a few cocktails/beers at the pool, an cocktail or two before dinner and then wine at dinner.

Staff & Service

I can't say enough about how incredible and friendly the service was across the board on the Sun Princess. Our room steward, waiters, bartenders - everyone went so above and beyond daily, it really elevated the experience. I'm always amazed how they remember everyone's names.
However, we did notice a clear slip in the quality of service in the second week compared to the first, likely due to a crew changeover partway through our sailing. Simple things like forgetting drink orders or getting meals wrong became more frequent from our new set of MDR servers.

Suites & Staterooms

We originally booked a balcony room. When the bid offer came in I followed some old advice and just placed bids on upgrades because "you don't have to take the offer if you don't like it." Well guess what, that's not the case anymore. My offer was accepted and we automatically became the proud recipients of a Reserve Mini-Suite for an additional $500. In hindsight, I'm glad it worked out. The room has noticably more space than a standard balcony room. These mini-suites are spacious, basically a separate living room and bedroom divided by a curtain you can close off. Having two TVs and an extra closet was great.
As mini-suite guests we also received a nice amenity of free premium wines in our room - on the second week they even topped us up with two more complementary bottles! I guess each week is looked at as a new sailing -- so you get two more bottles! Some older posts complained about the wine quality. It looks like it's been upgraded because we received a Pinot Noir and Chard from La Crema. Being California wine people, La Crema works great for us. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend going for a mini-suite over a regular balcony.
That being said, I'd avoid the "Cabana" balcony suites. The layout is really bizarre and in my opinion a downgrade. When you walk out onto your balcony, it's not really a balcony. There's another area in front of your balcony that connects a few other cabana suites. The idea is that a few rooms share a private balcony with jacuzzi. However, it also means that walking out onto your balcony doesn't give you a private ocean view because there's this 20-30 feet of additional patio in front of you and everyone above you just looks down into your balcony area.
They've done a great job with the power situation in these rooms. Every outlet has a USA 110v plug, a Euro plug, a USB-C and a USB-A plug. There are outlets by the desk area and with each nightstand on both sides of the bed. Since we had ample USB outlets, all we really needed a regular USA outlet for was the blow dryer. Don't get tricked! There's what looks like a two-prong USA outlet by the sink in the bathroom. It has a funky icon next to it. This outlet is for charging an electronic razor -- that's the only kind of plug that will fit in this outlet so don't try and jam another device in there -- it won't work. My mom tripped the breaker in her state room by running the hair dryer while her curling iron was on -- so beware ladies!

Dining Highs & Lows

Main Dining Rooms

It can be confusing because there are three floors (Decks 6, 7 and 8). We reserved dining in the Deck 6 MDR prior to the trip via the app for the first few days just so we knew there was a guaranteed place to eat. On night one, the dining room manager introduced himself to us and said he went ahead and booked our table for us every night of the trip. If we didn't show, it was fine.
Food quality in the main dining rooms (MDRs) was consistently good across breakfast and dinner. On port days, it's an "express breakfast" which just means a shorter list of options. Nothing mind-blowing, but solid and tasty. My biggest gripe here is the operating hours. On sea days, the MDR closes for breakfast at 9:00am. You basically have to choose between sleeping in a little, hitting the gym, or getting a decent breakfast.
Pro-Tip: Biggest breakfast tip is stay away from the scrammbled eggs -- they're gross. We figured out that the scrambled eggs come from a bag. If you want real, cracked eggs, either get an omelett or over easy/medium/hard/etc.

Reserve Suite Dining Access

The Reserve mini-suite gives you access to the Reserve Restaurant. It's a little bit more elevated of a dining experience and reservations aren't needed -- you just show up. We dined her a few times and it did feel more elevated. Unlike the MDR, the server in the Reserve Restaurant feels more personal because they're handling smaller groups.

Lido Deck

For more casual fare, the Lido deck had some surprises like an awesome made-to-order salad bar station that became my go-to for healthier meals between all the indulgent dining. The burger grill, taco station and pizza areas were pretty standard, but that salad bar slapped.

Lackluster Buffet

On the flip side, The Eatery buffet left a lot to be desired. Despite different themed stations, the quality was mid at best. We largely avoided eating at the buffet outside of quick breakfast grabs. The Eatery closes for breakfast around 10:00 AM. At which point if you move further into the ship, the restaurants that are normall Catch and Butcherblock become a buffet extension that's opened later -- it's kind of funky.
The layout of the buffet is weird and leaves people wondering if they're cutting in line especially when you go to the extended buffet at Catch/Butcherblock.
What's odd to me is you can go grab a million cheese plates, fruit plates or hummus/veggie plates at the buffet. But if you order those things through the Medallion app, it's not "complimentary." You have to pay like $4.99-$5.99 for those items. We still can't figure out why it costs $5 to order a tiny cheese plate but ordering a cheeseburger is free.

Specialty Dining Winners

We used our two speciality dining credits at Crown Grill and Butcher's Block by Dario. I was a little worried because I had read mixed reviews on here about both of these restaurants. However, both meals were really good and before you come at me, I'm a foodie guy -- I'd tell you if they sucked.
We chose Crown for my parent's anniversay dinner. The service was awesome and they made us all feel really special. The setup here is like a steakhouse, where you order your beef and then the sides are a la carte family style. We had a group of seven -- the manager just said "we'll bring you out all the sides, enough for your whole party" which was great.
The next week, we hit up Butcher's Block by Dario. I've never left a meal more full on a cruise ship than at this place. It's family style dining and they just bring out everything for you -- almost like a brazilian barbecue place. We started with a bread appetizer and a glass of wine while you wait for them to get the dining room setup. Then there's more bread on the table + veggies. Then the food starts coming out: beef tartar; beef carpaccio; etc. The main event is the massive tomahawks and porterhouse steaks they carve up tableside. They'll just keep putting beef on your plate until you beg them to stop. Finally, there's desert and a grappa digestif.
Both restaurants were great experiences and a very welcomed change from the MDR after a week of repetition. The food, service and overall vibe were a noticeable step up.

Spellbound

We also splurged one night for the Spellbound immersive magic/dinner experience and it was easily a cruise highlight despite the $150/pp price tag. After an elevated multi-course meal, you get ushered by a guy in a top hat into an exclusive hidden club. While waiting for the magic show, you hang out in their bar which is reminiscent of the Dinseyland Haunted Mansion. While enjoying your drink, there's a magician perorming more intement magic for everyone at the bar. Once they're ready for the show, you're brought into the room where the actual magic show takes place. Afterwards, you're welcome to hang out in the Spellbound bar and continue drinking.
If you're from LA, you probably know about the Magic Castle in Hollywood. Spellbound is an extension of the Magic Castle. Just like with the Magic Castle, you show up in formal wear. This means a coat and tie for the men and an evening gown/dress for the woman.
Overall, we really enjoyed it.

Room Service

This was hit or miss for us. You fill out the paper door hangar and place it on your doorknob before heading to bed. Then you hope and pray that it will actually arrive -- which in two of our instances, it never did. Your options are also super limited. You also may or may not receive what you actually ordered. With coffee for instance, you have a choice of ordering it to-go (paper cup) or stay (actual coffe cup). We always seemed to get the opposite of what we ordered to the point where it became a running joke for us.

International Cafe

This became our goto for a lot of things: coffee, snacks, quick breakfast food (pastries, coffee cake, avodcado toast, Egg McMuffins). Werid fact though: if you order the Egg McMuffin through the app, it comes as an egg patty just like McDonalds and with cheese. When you get the one at International Cafe, it's just an over easy egg and no cheese. Why they can't just be the same is odd.

Night Owl Needs

My main dining gripe was the lack of solid late night food options for us night owls. The Eatery buffet closed at an absurd 10:30pm, leaving only spotty room service or mobile ordering as the choices if you worked up an appetite after evening activities. More robust late-night casual dining would be appreciated.

Bars & Alcohol

Overall, great selection of cocktails. All of the bars have their own little theme and different menus. The ladies I was with were consitently impressed at the quality and thought of the cocktails at each bar. They were also super impressed with the quality of the glassware being used. I must admit, everything from the rocks glasses to the martini glasses really were beautiful.
If you just want straight spirits, you have to order a double to get a normal pour (they're actually measuring out the pours). That being said, with either Plus or Premium, you'll get a good selection of top quality booze.
You gotta try really hard to hit the 15-drink max. Some days I had drinks at breakfast, during the day, lunch, before dinner, during dinner and after dinner. I never hit my max.
One thing that impressed me was staff actually being concerned about drink quality. We were having drinks at one of the bars on the Lido deck. The supervisor was upset with the bartenders because they ran out of premium liquor and hadn't requested more. He made sure to remind them that when someone orders a premium drink they get a premium liquor -- no exceptions.
You also must checkout the Good Spirits bar. There's a few times throughout the night where you watch a live cocktail demonstration. The bartenders at GS are so fun and playful -- really makes for a great vibe.

Amenities - Hits & Misses

The gym facilities on board were a bit of a disappointment, especially for a new ship. While they had a nice assortment of cardio machines, the actual weight room was laughably small with only a few pieces of strength equipment that were always monopolized. Not a deal-breaker, but an area that could be improved.
The pool areas were nicely spread out across different sections of the Lido deck. On sailing days, there was typically a band, the DJ and then a random movie on the jumbotron. The random blasting of action movies at 3pm really ruined the pool vibe and it's typically when the deck would thin out. One minute you're relaxing in the jacuzzi, the next an action movie with explosions is shaking the pool area. It made no sense and seemed tailored for a much younger crowd despite this sailing's passengers being mostly older adults.

Technology & Support

In addition to the Medallion app, the overall internet speeds on board were fast and reliable enough for me to easily stay connected for basic work needs.
The technology support via the app's live chat feature, however, was utterly useless. Any time we had issues properly being charged for drink packages or had to modify reservations, the live chat was a time-wasting nightmare. You're clearly just talking to an outsourced rep with zero actual knowledge of Princess' systems or operations. Your best bet is to go in-person to the guest services desk.

Other Notes & Quibbles

• Dress codes weren't enforced at all. We did the whole suite/gown routine for formal nights only to see plenty of people still rocking jeans and t-shirts in the MDR. Same lack of enforcement for the "formal attire required" Spellbound event. Either lose the formal nights or enforce them.
  
• Our drink package tallies often had errors, with our group's drinks randomly getting combined onto one person's account. Always double check and ask for corrections.
  
• The "Cabana" balcony suite layout is bizarre - your balcony is just a shared landing in front of other suites, rather than a private space. We avoided these after hearing the lack of privacy.