Me & my fiancé 27 have been engaged for a year now trying to save up for a wedding and it’s been extremely difficult. We are paying for everything 100% ourselves. We do not have any family or friends (aside from 2-3) that live in the same state as us so as far as DIY goes I’d be doing most of it myself which I’m okay with but there’s only so much I can do alone. Our guest list is small: 50 people only the closest family and friends are making the list. We aren’t wanting anything extravagant: the venue we are looking at is nice and includes planning, food, a few other things at 7500 which is a decent price. Photographer is about 4k, which we anticipated would be the most expensive. How did you do it? Savings, help from family, credit cards, 401k? I just want to get married and at this rate it won’t happen for another 2 years. I really don’t want a courthouse wedding, I only plan to get married this one time and I want all of our closest people there to celebrate with us. HELP.

Me & my fiancé 27 have been engaged for a year now trying to save up for a wedding and it’s been extremely difficult. We are paying for everything 100% ourselves. We do not have any family or friends (aside from 2-3) that live in the same state as us so as far as DIY goes I’d be doing most of it myself which I’m okay with but there’s only so much I can do alone. Our guest list is small: 50 people only the closest family and friends are making the list. We aren’t wanting anything extravagant: the venue we are looking at is nice and includes planning, food, a few other things at 7500 which is a decent price. Photographer is about 4k, which we anticipated would be the most expensive. How did you do it? Savings, help from family, credit cards, 401k? I just want to get married and at this rate it won’t happen for another 2 years. I really don’t want a courthouse wedding, I only plan to get married this one time and I want all of our closest people there to celebrate with us. HELP.

I (25 NB) met my friend (26 NB) at work, we have the same position at work and usually end up paired with each other. We get along great and have a lot of similar interests. I’ve given them rides home from work a lot cause we live near each other, and I thought we’d developed a strong friendship. They’ve worked at the company a little longer than I have, I’ve been working there since August. We’ve only been friends really since Januaryish when I got promoted.
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.

Let me start this off by saying I have ADHD diagnosis and a 1 second attention span so lemme turn it into a list. This short list will contain reasons why I think I have aspergers, as well as reasons why I may not.
Reasons why I may:
-I have always tensed up and had weird reactions when I get excited
-I am very clumsy and trip over my self a lot
-I am very sensitive to certain textures such as slimy meat foods, rough metals and sharp points
-I get scared of every loud noise and loud noises sometimes trigger fiery headaches that burn my eyes too. Other people can hear these noises and not have a single reaction while they absolutely STARTLE me. ( -I have constantly been socially awkward and avoided social situations like it is HELL to me. I have mental pain and panic attacks looking people in the eye for longer than a second. I keep switching my vision around the room. Being social for even a minute makes me drowsy and makes my throat burn. I tried working social jobs to improve it but I cant no matter how hard I try. It drains my energy
-It took me hours to write this
Reasons why Im not:
-I am kinda punctual/corrective with nice handwriting but not regular writing (I went over all this 18 times)
-I am too creative sided
-I have friends that I like to talk to and hang out with (still hard to look them in the eye my brain comes out of my face and imaginary pain starts happening when I try to)
Opinions would be appreciated, sorry if im being an imposter

Unlocking the Nutritional Powerhouse: Ragi Benefits
Ragi, also known as finger millet, is a staple grain in many parts of India and Africa. This ancient grain is gaining popularity worldwide due to its impressive nutritional profile and numerous health benefits.

Understanding Ragi

Ragi is a rich source of nutrients, including carbohydrates, dietary fiber, protein, and essential minerals such as calcium, iron, and magnesium. It is also gluten-free, making it suitable for individuals with gluten intolerance or celiac disease.

Health Benefits of Ragi

1. Rich in Calcium

Ragi is one of the best plant-based sources of calcium, crucial for maintaining bone health and preventing osteoporosis.

2. High in Dietary Fiber

The high fiber content in ragi aids digestion, promotes gut health, and helps prevent constipation.

3. Good Source of Protein

Ragi is an excellent source of plant-based protein, making it ideal for vegetarians and vegans looking to meet their protein needs.

4. Manages Diabetes

Ragi has a low glycemic index, meaning it releases glucose into the bloodstream slowly, helping regulate blood sugar levels and preventing spikes.

5. Supports Weight Loss

The high fiber and protein content in ragi contribute to increased satiety, reducing appetite and aiding weight loss efforts.

Culinary Uses of Ragi

Ragi can be consumed in various forms, including flour, whole grains, flakes, and malt. It is commonly used to make porridge, dosa, roti, and baked goods such as cookies and bread.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Ragi

Q: Is ragi suitable for gluten-free diets? A: Yes, ragi is naturally gluten-free and safe for individuals with gluten intolerance.
Q: Can ragi be consumed by diabetics? A: Yes, ragi has a low glycemic index and can be beneficial for managing blood sugar levels.
Q: How can I incorporate ragi into my diet? A: Ragi can be used to make porridge, dosa, roti, and baked goods, or added to smoothies and soups for an extra nutritional boost.

Conclusion

In conclusion, ragi is a nutritional powerhouse packed with health benefits. By incorporating ragi into your diet, you can enjoy improved bone health, better digestion, and overall well-being. Ragi benefits are many, so choose wisely and live healthily, Read about it more here .

Source: 🔗 Chat with Lifelike Virtual Personalities — talkiemate.com
In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining good health can be a challenge. With so much conflicting information about diet, exercise, and lifestyle choices, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure about where to start. However, by creating a personalized health plan tailored to your individual needs and goals, you can take control of your well-being and achieve optimal health. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore everything you need to know about personalized health plans, including how to create one, the benefits they offer, and how you can work with a dedicated health and wellness coach like Olivia Adams to optimize your plan for success.
Understanding Personalized Health Plans
A personalized health plan is a customized approach to health and wellness that takes into account your unique needs, preferences, and goals. Rather than following a one-size-fits-all approach, a personalized health plan is tailored specifically to you, ensuring that you’re able to make sustainable lifestyle changes that support your overall well-being.
The Components of a Personalized Health Plan
A personalized health plan typically includes several key components:
Nutrition: A healthy diet is the foundation of good health. Your personalized health plan will outline dietary recommendations based on your individual nutritional needs, preferences, and goals. This may include guidance on portion sizes, food choices, and meal timing.
Exercise: Physical activity is essential for maintaining a healthy weight, improving cardiovascular health, and reducing the risk of chronic disease. Your personalized health plan will include recommendations for exercise based on your fitness level, interests, and goals.
Stress Management: Chronic stress can have a detrimental impact on your health, contributing to conditions such as high blood pressure, anxiety, and depression. Your personalized health plan will include strategies for managing stress, such as mindfulness techniques, relaxation exercises, and time management strategies.
Sleep: Adequate sleep is crucial for overall health and well-being. Your personalized health plan will include recommendations for improving sleep quality and quantity, such as establishing a regular sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and addressing any underlying sleep disorders.
Supplementation: In some cases, dietary supplements may be recommended as part of your personalized health plan to address specific nutritional deficiencies or support overall health. Your health coach can provide guidance on which supplements may be beneficial for you and how to incorporate them into your routine safely.
Creating Your Personalized Health Plan
Creating a personalized health plan begins with a comprehensive assessment of your current health status, lifestyle habits, and goals. This assessment may include:
Health History: Your health coach will review your medical history, including any existing health conditions, medications, and previous injuries or surgeries.
Lifestyle Habits: Your health coach will assess your current lifestyle habits, including diet, exercise, sleep, stress levels, and substance use.
Goals: Your health coach will work with you to identify your health goals, whether they’re related to weight loss, improved fitness, better stress management, or overall well-being.
Based on this assessment, your health coach will create a personalized health plan that addresses your unique needs and goals. This plan may include specific dietary recommendations, exercise guidelines, stress management strategies, and sleep hygiene practices tailored to your individual preferences and circumstances.
The Benefits of a Personalized Health Plan
A personalized health plan offers numerous benefits, including:
Customization: Unlike generic health advice, a personalized health plan is tailored specifically to you, ensuring that it meets your unique needs and preferences.
Accountability: Working with a health coach provides accountability and support, helping you stay motivated and committed to your health goals.
Long-Term Success: By addressing the root causes of your health issues and making sustainable lifestyle changes, a personalized health plan sets you up for long-term success and improved well-being.
Improved Health Outcomes: Research has shown that personalized health plans can lead to better health outcomes, including improved nutrition, increased physical activity, and reduced risk of chronic disease.
Working with a Health and Wellness Coach
While creating a personalized health plan on your own can be beneficial, working with a dedicated health and wellness coach like Olivia Adams can take your plan to the next level. Olivia Adams is a certified health and wellness coach with expertise in nutrition, exercise science, stress management, and sleep hygiene. She can provide personalized guidance, support, and accountability to help you achieve your health and wellness goals.
How to Get Started with Olivia Adams
To get started with Olivia Adams, simply visit her Talkiemate profile here to start your conversation today. Olivia will work with you to create a personalized health plan that meets your individual needs and goals, empowering you to take control of your health and live your best life.
Conclusion
A personalized health plan is a powerful tool for improving your overall well-being and achieving your health goals. By taking a personalized approach to nutrition, exercise, stress management, sleep, and supplementation, you can address the root causes of your health issues and make sustainable lifestyle changes that support your long-term health and happiness. Whether you choose to create a personalized health plan on your own or work with a dedicated health and wellness coach like Olivia Adams, the key is to take proactive steps towards optimizing your health and living your best life.
References:
“The Importance of Personalized Health Plans” – American Journal of Preventive Medicine
“The Role of Health Coaches in Personalized Health Care” – Health Affairs
“Creating Personalized Health Plans for Better Outcomes” – National Institutes of Health
“The Benefits of Working with a Health and Wellness Coach” – Mayo Clinic
“The Role of Nutrition in Personalized Health Plans” – Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health
“Exercise Guidelines for Personalized Health Plans” – American College of Sports Medicine
“Stress Management Strategies for Improved Health” – American Psychological Association
“Improving Sleep Quality and Quantity” – National Sleep Foundation
“Dietary Supplements: What You Need to Know” – National Institutes of Health
“The Science of Behavior Change” – National Institutes of Health

I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
​
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
​
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.

cocamidopropyl betaine: Cocamidopropyl betaine is an amphoteric synthetic detergent that has been increasingly used in cosmetics and personal hygiene products eg, shampoos
butylphenyl methylpropional: Its safety is still controversial as it can be sensitizing, skin irritant and a potential allergen. Another downside it that it also seen as an endocrine disruptor and even possibly a carcinogenic by the SCCS.
Citric acid: Industrial uses of citric acid include detergent manufacturing, electroplating and leather tanning
Sodium chloride: salt
Fumic acid: decaying plants.
Magnesium nitrate: Used in the manufacturing of petrochemicals. Used as a desensitizer for lithographic plates. Used to manufacture ammonium nitrate.
Limonene: Limonene on its list of substances considered Generally Recognized As Safe
PEG-60 Almond glyceride: PEG-60 Almond glyceride is formed from polyethylene glycol and fatty acids present in almond oil
Methylchloroisothiazolinone: Methylchloroisothiazolinone can cause skin problems when it's used in large amounts in different products. This is called sensitization. It engages your immune system and irritates your skin. Once this happens you may become permanently allergic to methylchloroisothiazolinone the next time you are exposed to it
And uh. Water

Slutty Sister Has Her Brother Locked For Life (non-con, forced chastity, bondage, punishment)
Part 1
The keyholder nurse gave me instructions and explained everything after it was all over. My family had told me that I was a sex pervert and I was "being dealt with". I knew I was in trouble, but I was a young man, only 18 and I didn't understand what was going on. No one had told me anything after the hearing.
Mom drove me to an odd building, led me to a secure room and left. A young nurse told me to undress. I was totally naked. An older woman in scrubs and a man entered. They strapped my arms and legs down to a cold steel table. The nurse offered the woman a syringe, but she declined and said "No, I want this creep to feel it".
It all started a month ago. I lived with my mom and sister, dad was gone. My sister was 19, with a tight body and medium sized, perky tits. Mom was thick, curvy, with giant tits. Both recently got their naval's pierced with matching studs. Neither had boyfriends, but they were very promiscuous. We lived in a mobile home with thin walls, so I could hear them getting fucked often.
I made some mistakes. First, my sister caught me peeping on her in the shower and told mom. Then, two of her "friends" came over for sex. They took turns on her. She got very loud. After they left, I went in her room. She covered herself, but I saw her pussy and stomach first. There were small puddles of cum around her pantyline, and some more of it leaking out of her. I told her I was still a virgin and asked if I could "go next" on her. She yelled "get out" and told mom when she got home from work.
The third incident was more serious they said. Mom would sometimes drink and pass out. I'd never felt tits before and hers were so enticing. She had some drinks and went to bed. I snuck in. She was asleep, uncovered, wearing a gown. I grabbed her heaving boobs. Then I took one of my hands off her chest and pulled the gown above her waist, exposing her. I slid my hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy. She woke up and caught me. She was pissed. The next day my sister told me they had turned me in and there would be a hearing.
So I knew why I was on the metal table, but I didn't know what was next. I couldn't see, there was a drape at my waist. It started with gloves and cold metal on my genitals, then clamping, pinching, pulling, and eventually a sharp puncturing pain near my balls. I begged them to stop, but they did it 2 more times, once on my cock. Finally a metal device was brought out. I could feel it being slid on, clamped down, tightened, then locked. "All done" they said and left. The young nurse stayed behind.
She removed the drape and released the straps. I inspected the "device". My cock and balls had been fed through a steel ring that tightly encircled them at the base. It was secured to a piercing just above my taint and another at the top. My penis was locked in a tight steel "cage" with a hole at the end for pissing. The head had been pierced and a metal bar went through me as extra security. It wasn't going anywhere. The whole thing was super tight.
"What is this?" I asked.
She explained. "It's your chastity device. Your genitals have been locked up. At the hearing, your mother and sister requested that you be put in chastity. The safety council asked them how long they thought would be appropriate and both wanted you locked forever. Since the incidents involved incest, the council agreed. Your penis is locked for life. I'm your keyholder nurse. I will help with adjustments, cleanings, draining your balls, and anything else needed for chastity".
"When do I get to take off?" I said.
She answered, "You're locked forever. So you wont get to take it off. They have to keep you locked so your sister is safe and to punish you for what you did to your mom. You wont be able to have sex or force anyone. Since you can't masturbate, your balls might swell, so you will see me every other month to drain them, do a deep cleaning, and tighten your cage, if necessary.
--------------------------------XXX--------------------------------

Part 2

The room was cold. My keyholder nurse was a cute twenty-something. A name tag with "Beverly" was pinned above her perky boobs. Her scrub top was tight around her chest. I could see the shape of her breasts and her hard nipples pressing againt the fabric. I stared and my cage got tighter. She noticed and grinned slightly.
I got back to business, "Can I appeal or get parole or something? What happens next?"
She answered, "Sorry, no appeals for chastity. There is parole, but not for incest cases. What you did is considered extremely disgusting, so they deemed you a "most extreme pervert". Incest offenders get more severe penalties and no parole. I'm not supposed to be judgemental, but you're my first incest case and it sounded really awful at your hearing. It's hard to believe creeps as bad as you even exist, who rubs their own mom's pussy? This case is really bad, so I'm gonna go harder on you than my other guys. I hope it was worth it. So here's what's next...your mother and sister are entitled to a final inspection of your genitals, then you'll go directly to prison to be processed and locked up in the chastity unit."
I was confused and responded with frustration, "I can't believe this is happening to me. I just got too horny seeing the girls dressed like sluts and listening to them getting fucked all the time. After seeing my sisters cum-filled pussy, I lost control and slipped up. If she just gave me sloppy seconds, I wouldn't have done all that to mom....What do you mean prison?!?!"
She responded, bursting with excitement, "Dont worry, you'll learn your lesson! OH! I see they didn't tell you about prison yet, since you were a rush case. Chastity is just an add-on to your prison sentence as an extra penalty and to keep everyone safe. Let me look at your file to see how much time you'll serve."
Looking at her tablet, she smiled big and replied, "I've never gotten to do this before! Most guys hear about their sentence before they get to me...Ok, so they actually got you taken care of pretty good here. It got split up into multiple counts, so fortunately, they were able to put you away for a long time."
She continued, "Your sister had you convicted on two charges, one for the shower incident and one for the bedroom incident. You got two more for mom, one for groping her tits and another for going between her legs. I'll read them off...
Count 1, Incestual peeping, sentence: 1 year special confinement
Count 2, Incestual peeping with propositioning, sentence: 1.5 years special confinement
Count 3, 2nd Degree Incestual Sexual Battery, 2 years special confinement
Ok and here's the big one! For touching mom's pussy...
Count 4, 1st Dregee Incestual Sexual Battery, 4.5 years RIGOROUS confinement in the SCU-I, (Special Chastity Unit, Incest wing), with intensive perversion correction."
So you'll do nine years total, with the first four-and-a-half in the incest wing."
I was completely shocked, "Nine years!? Are you serious? What's special confinement? Am I going to regular prison or what?
Beverely explained, "Special confinement means you'll be put in the chastity unit. It's a separate level for inmates that have their genitals locked, like rapists and other perverts. It's a little different. The cells are super small, you don't get any privileges like TV, and you stay locked in your cell for 23 hours a day. But don't worry. Most of my guys are in the chastity unit. They all want out really bad, but they're fine. Some eventually leave for regular population if their sentence allows, but you'll actually just be finishing up in the main chasity unit after you're done with rigororous confinement for the first four-and-a-half. You'll start off in the incest wing".
"What is all that? I asked
Beverly explained further, "It's a big deal. That's why I got so excited when I read your sentence on count 4. It wasn't just the amount of time you got, but what'll be happening to you that makes it a heavy one. I've heard it's very extreme. Since you're my first incest case, I'm not as familiar with it, but I've heard you're basically caged up 24/7 and pretty much treated like an animal. I'm not sure if you even get a toilet or a bed. You only leave your cage once every two weeks for perversion correction, which I might get to assist with, and you'll get another device I've heard about, called the "silver bullet". I think it's an anal device? You'll learn more about that when you get there. Oh! Looks like it's time to get you ready for inspection."
The door opened as she left and two female guards entered. One had a tazer. They led me to another table. This one had wheels. I sat on the edge. One grabbed my ankles and another tried to push me on my back. I resisted, trying to spin off the table. I was immediately tazed, then sedated, imobilizing me. "This will be easier for if you just comply" she said. I was on my back again. My ankles were lifted toward my head, folding my legs over me. Thick zip ties were placed around my ankles and calfs. My hands and forearms were looped through both, then "zzzzzzzztttt", it was all cinched down tight, securing my arms to my legs. A bar was secured between my knees, keeping me exposed. Beverly came back in. One of the guards said "He's all yours hon" as they left.
"Let's get you cleaned up" Beverly said. "Your mom and sister are on their way and they're excited to see your private parts all locked up for good.
She put gloves on, then approached the table, placing one hand over my nose. I opened my mouth and she shoved a gag in and secured it around my head. "This is just a temporary gag. Your sister didn't want you talking during inspection. I believe you'll get more securely gagged and muzzled when you get to processing. I've heard the guys don't get solid food in the incest wing, you get fed a liquid diet, like that soylent stuff, that you'll take through a drinking tube in your gag. It's really amazing how good they have you incest perverts locked up over there. I can't wait to see you like that.
She started the cleaning by soaping and lathering around my crotch, exposed parts were shaved. She walked away, coming back with a tube and a bag full of fluid that she hung from a pole. The label read "Enema". Beverly explained, "Gotta clean you inside and out. First I'll get you lubed up". She grabbed a metal syring, inserted the tip in my ass, and injected me with lube. At the end of enema tube, there was a detachable nozzle with two inflatable bulbs. One was forced in my ass and both were inflated, locking it in place. I could see the tube going from the bag to inside me. I felt like I was being treated like an animal already. She turned a valve, the fluid began flowing and filled me up. She set a timer for 35 minutes, and sat on her stool, reading cosmo. After an agonizing wait, she removed the nozzle plug, allowing me to release. Finally, thank goodness. I was soaped up again and rinsed. She cleaned up the enema nozzle plug, added more lube, and shoved it back1 inside me. "Putting this back in so we dont have any potential leaks" she said, as she inflated it. She disconnected the outside end of the inflatable nozzle where it attached to the longer enema tube, clamped it off, and let go of it. I felt it bounce around as it settled. "You're all set" she exclaimed.
I was wheeled on the cart-like table through a long, busy hallway to a different room for inspection. I could feel the protruding nozzle plug in my ass flop around as the cart moved. The other employees stared as I went by, a few smiled with satisfaction. How humiliating I thought. I heard murmuring. "Bitchtied pervert getting what he deserves!" one girl said angrily.
Finally in the inspection room, I waited. The door opened, Beverly entered with two blondes behind her, my mom and my sister. The two gorgeous sluts were dressed similar. My mom was wearing tight, denim, high waisted shorts that displayed her ass and curvy hips, they were pulled-up high in a way that you could see the denim tight against her twat. My sister came dressed in super short spandex yoga shorts, tight ones that lifted her already firm butt into perfection. Both wore crop tops with their stomachs and matching naval piercings exposed. Images of my sister's sloppy pussy flashed in my head, my cock and balls both swelled. I stared at their bodies and let out a loud, desperate moan as my cage grew excruciatingly tight.
Part 3 to follow...

uhh should i do the gender and age thing lol (23f) well.. like everyone else here i’m extremely suicidal. it’s like i’m in a constant state of planning my death.. it’s been this way since the year started. i mean i’ve been suicidal for as long as i can remember but never to this extent. i’ve planned to kill myself tonight lol but i’ve planned many times before, written MANYY notes.. but then i usually just sleep it off and go about my life like “normal”. this time feels different. i feel like i’ve been falling into a black hole and am finally reaching the singularity. the point of no return. no hope. no will to live or change. well ig i’ll list my reasons for doing this. 1. i’m a stinker… sounds silly but i’m being so fr 😭 randomly in eighth grade i started to stink?? it took me awhile to realize it was ME stankin up the school w my chemical warfare.. i think it’s some form of tmau??? well whatever this condition is.. it’s made my life a fucking nightmare. halfway through 10th grade i dropped out. genuinely couldnt handle the bullying anymore and i would get panic attacks constantly… not a good time for me… well i mean its not like it ever any got better lol.
Naturally if one smells like a dumpster fire constantly no one would want to be around you.. so of course i no longer had any friends. and i probably would’ve still had some friends if i didn’t completely turn my back to the whole world. after dropping out in 2016 i wouldn’t go back into society until 2023 when i got my first job. i still stink.. my family says i don’t to my face but i hear them say i stink when they think i can’t hear em… not sure why they lie but i digress.. doctors and therapist also can’t seem smell anything. but when i’m out in public or at work i’ll hear people in passing talk abt how bad i smell… my mom is convinced i have schizophrenia LMAOOO like i KNOWWW i didn’t imagine allll those kids bullying me in middle school and high school LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I FUCKING WISHHHHHHH IT WAS ALL JUST IN MY HEAD!!!!! also i should note… this condition has absolutely NOTHINGGG to do with my hygiene.. I PROMISE!!!! i always make sure i’m extremely clean and well groomed.. im sure everyone who passes me thinks im some disgusting person who doesn’t bathe or wipe properly but that’s never been the case so pls don’t tell me to “just shower”… it’s not that simple though i really wish it was.
moving along.. 2. i have really bad intrusive thoughts and a problem with starring at things i shouldn’t be looking at… so the intrusive thoughts started like a year into my self isolation.. i don’t really want to say what type but they cause immense distress.. after every intrusive thought i contemplate suicide like that’s how bad they are. as for the starring thing.. 😞 i think its also ocd related. but i stare at boobs, butts, privates, and feet.. i’m not sure how to explain this coherently.. but it’s like I KNOWW i’m NOT supposed to look but then my body just decides to look anyways. it feels like i have ZERO control over my own fucking eyes. and i promise there’s no sexual intention?? behind my stares.. but no one on the receiving end would think that. and unfortunately my eyes look at everyone including family, kids, men, women, literally everyone. AND I FUCKIBG HATE IT I WISH I WAS BLIND. my sisters think i’m some pervert and how can i live with myself knowing i’m causing them to feel unsafe and uncomfortable??? i’m not doing it on purpose. i just want to stab my fucking eyes out. this is honestly one of the main reasons for wanting to kill myself. i don’t even know when it started or fucking how?????? OR WHYY?? why do i struggle with the rarest fucking things?? like is there genuinely someone else out there who unintentionally stares at inappropriate things??? FRICK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE!!!!!!!!

1. i’ve been molested at pretty much every age and have always been “sexual” from a reallly early age ☹️ started w my cousin doing things to me i didn’t understand.. then my sisters uncle would grope me and make me kiss him. and he would like lick???? my neck??? idk there’s also this memory of someone on top of me while i sleep… yknow… doing things.. i was 13 or so and for a long time i thought the shadow hovering over me raping me was like a demon… 😭😭😭 i deadass thought i was raped by a demon LOL but recently i’ve going through my memories and yeah… that was definitely a person.. no clue who it could’ve been ☹️ i was too drowsy to do anything and i woke up in a panic and checked my underwear but didn’t see anything so ig my kid brain came to the conclusion that it was a demon.. sorry for the run on sentences 😞

4?? this isntt really a reason but after self isolating for almost 9 years i’ve completely lost the ability to properly communicate w other people. like i’m so unbelievably awkward.. it’s torture 😭 also i think i might have autism idk forming friendships with others has always been a challenge for me. honestly i really don’t talk much. like i really don’t understand the back and forth conversations. everyone makes it seem so easy. but when it comes time for me to respond or initiate my brain goes completely blank. tv static. i hope someone out there understands how painful it is to WANT to talk and engage but your brain is limited to two boring ass unengaging responses. also i never seem able to say the right thing. i always come off as mean. ugh. what’s wrong w me.
oh i just remembered something… when i was in second or first grade my FULL sized dresser and box tv pretty much the size of me both fell on me.. tv hit the back of my head and by the will of god or something i managed to crawl out from underneath them.. now i went to hospital and had an x-ray done and it showed nothing but what ifffffff i had some sort of concussion that’s caused me to be this way????? i’m just talkin out my ass. but seriously why am i this way??? was i born this strange?? sigh.
i so desperately want to live a normal life. have friends. not stink. not stare unintentionally. but fuck i just don’t think that will ever be my reality. i’ve been stuck in this same cycle for 9 years. i’ve wasted NINE fucking years of my life. sometimes it feels like my brain never finished developing past the age of 13.. i’m already 23 and i’ve done absolutely nothing. no accomplishments no goals no dreams. it feels like im permanently stuck. so it often feels like death is the only way to escape my reality. im so lonely. but i don’t know how to be a friend. im lost. i want to go to college but like I STINK??? so i’ll just get bullied and outcasted again. y’all im stumped. i see no way out aside from death. but at the same time i’m scared there’s nothing after dying. so i live my whole life wasting away and finally decide to do something and kill myself but all that greets me after i’m dead is nothing. it all seems so bleak.
what if i’m just a bad egg?
i’ll be rlly surprised if anyone has read this far 💀 sorry any grammatical errors hehe i never graduated 🤓 this life fucking sucks so maybe in my next life i can be born as a cutieful pampered house cat… for now i think i’m just gonna go to sleep and let the cycle repeat. maybe one day i’ll find my way out of this hell. through death or something else. who knows. good night…

I just commented this on a post but wanted to see others experiences/ thoughts on this viewpoint- I will give my back story for context
I have been suffering with gastritis for 4 months (also have GERD and have had these symptoms for roughly the same amount of time in Jan last year) GI initially thought I had eosinophilic oesophagitis which was not confirmed by scope. Through trial and error I discovered that gluten triggered my symptoms and stopped eating it for 8 months which resolved my symptoms by around may last year, roughly 3 months into diet. During that time I ate healthy, home cooked everything, ate a wide variety of foods, spices, vegetables + meats and dairy. I mainly restricted processed foods, alcohol, chilli and acidic tomato. (I could eat everything and drink alcohol once healed)
Fast forward to Jan this year, symptoms make a comeback with a literal vengeance but I am GF so no idea what is causing it. Got an endoscopy and confirmed moderate linear gastritis with erosions + mild oesophagitis (non-allergy related and no signs of coeliac but I was gluten free @ the time of scope)
This led me to try to do things differently than last year because I assumed gluten was not the sole cause of this problem and wanted to rid of it forever, plus I had a diagnosis. So this sub reddit (bless it’s fkn soul) was my source for healing and I began the bland diet, cutting out literally everything except for rice, chicken/ organic gf chicken sausages, eggs and salmon (as I went on I included oats and home made almond butte a variety of herbal teas)
I followed an extremely strict supplement regimen without ppi (they caused a nervous breakdown when I tried them the year prior) I used MSM, collostrum, collagen, gelatin, Manuka honey (actually a god send and strongly recommend) and as I went I added coconut kefir, cabbage juice twice a day and aloe Vera juice twice a day.
I literally did not step out of line with this diet for 3 whole months. Not one mouthful, whiff or taste of a food outside of that and diligently took my supplements every day. I saw considerable improvement after the first month and then into the second month I stalled.
This is where it is interesting because I booked a Europe trip in October before relapsing, and I was without exaggerating, absolutely terrified of going over there with this illness. The thought of not being able to control my food/ bring my juicer for the cabbage or find dairy free kefir actually made me feel sick. And I think many of you can relate to that.
Anyway fast forward to 2 weeks before the trip, I’m about 75% better and have good days and bad days, I think it is important to note that the bad days caused significant distress and fear that I was regressing after getting better for the first month. It’s also important to note that I have not 100% confirmed my root cause at this point.
Because my GI told me I am not coeliac and gluten is likely fine, I started incorporating some sourdough toast/ fermented wheat products. Initially I responded absolutely fine to these. Once I decided I needed to break the diet in preparation for my trip I actually ate a donut and had minimal reaction.
About 9 days before the trip I started getting SEVERE lower belly cramping after every meal I consumed. At times I considered going to to the ER, even while I sat a final exam (RIP). At first I thought it was the folinic acid supplement I had incorporated (research on this shows it reverses damage in atrophic gastritis patients over 6 months of use so I thought it would be helpful) and I stopped it immediately but symptoms worsened. I came to the conclusion after the final exam fiasco (had 2 pieces of almond butter sourdough) that I am probably coeliac/ wheat allergy and the scope did not show damage because I had already been GF for 8 months (need to eat a gluten filled diet for 6 weeks for coeliac testing to be conclusive)
So I went back to my GF diet and the symptoms persisted and got worse. During this time my gastritis was also flaring up I think because of the distress from the pain and at this time I incorporated a half dose/ day of esomsprazole (the weakest PPI on the market, honestly for more mental reassurance than anything). And I know this is long as hell but stay with me, the details matter,
I decided I’m just going to have to cop the awful health and go on the trip (I genuinely considered cancelling and staying home because it was so fucked) but I just took a massive gamble and went. I just happened to speak to a naturopath @ work that day who suggested taking digestive enzymes for the trip to aid with the tummy ache (and for those fresh in the gastritis journey I would strongly recommend these, have had a huge impact for me)
This was 4 days ago, I’ve been in Paris for 4 days and it is absolutely impossible to get food that will fit these dietary requirements. I cannot get cabbage juice or straight aloe Vera water, I can’t find an organic butcher and I honestly thought it would be more miserable to subscribe to my frankly militant routine with my eating.
And therein lies the miracle- I chose to accept my health as it was, and accept the situation for the potentially shit reality that it may have been, and I just started eating food and breaking my diet. I started with plain rice and kebab meat with garlic sauce (extremely bold I know) and had some light symptoms that went away very quickly. It is essential to note that I was really scared to eat this meal but knew I needed to do it.
The following day I felt empowered and decided to try some restaurant food that was heavily seasoned, and I had a glass of wine. When I tell you I literally could not believe that I didn’t drop dead from the relapse I thought that would cause, I realised that for me (and potentially some of you long term sufferers) that the anxiety of coming out from under the safety blanket of the bland diet and extreme restriction was keeping me sick. Each day I have felt more emboldened and less scared and therefore have eaten further into my list of fear foods. This includes Mexican food (spicy + citrus) a matcha latte and an enjoyable amount of alcohol.
I genuinely cannot believe that this is how it’s going and it made me wonder what part the psychological damage this condition does to us, has on the maintenance of the illness or worsening of symptoms that cannot be explained by diet/ lifestyle changes.
I absolutely want to acknowledge the real suffering that this condition cause, I have experienced it and we can all agree it’s fucked, but I would be remiss to ignore that it seems my actual (seeming) recovery from this illness was made complete by letting go of the fea anxiety and accepting whatever outcome I got. I genuinely think that the crippling mental health aspect could be responsible for ongoing, indefinite suffering that I see on this sub. Because obviously the bland diet/ supplements and (potentially) confirming root cause had huge impact on my physiological healing and it could not have been achieved without that work,
BUT, I could never seem to shake it fully. It’s like the fear of the illness keeps it going/ stagnated at like 75% or regressing.
I am interested to know everyone’s thoughts. This will obviously not be a method for those early in healing, but may give hope to those long term sufferers
TLDR: I am able to eat all of my trigger foods after deciding to let go of the mental safety net that is bland diet/ gastritis recovery protocol, which leads me to question if psychological distress associated w/ gastritis is keeping us sick

Source: 🔗 Chat with Lifelike Virtual Personalities — talkiemate.com
Are you looking to improve your eating habits, manage your weight, or optimize your nutrition but unsure where to start? Creating a personalized meal plan can be the first step towards achieving your health and wellness goals. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore how you can create a personalized meal plan for free, along with the option to work with a dedicated health and wellness coach like Olivia Thompson to take your meal planning to the next level.
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Steps to Create a Personalized Meal Plan for Free
Assess Your Current Eating Habits: Before creating a meal plan, it’s essential to understand your current eating habits. Keep a food diary for a few days to track what you eat and drink, including portion sizes and meal times.
Set Your Health Goals: Determine what you want to achieve with your meal plan. Whether it’s losing weight, improving energy levels, managing a health condition, or simply eating more healthily, having clear goals will guide your meal planning efforts.
Identify Nutritional Needs: Consider any specific nutritional requirements you may have based on factors such as age, gender, activity level, and health status. For example, athletes may need more carbohydrates for energy, while individuals with certain medical conditions may need to limit sodium or sugar intake.
Plan Balanced Meals: Aim to include a variety of nutrient-dense foods from all food groups in your meal plan. This includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Focus on creating balanced meals that provide a mix of carbohydrates, protein, and fat to support overall health and energy levels.
Use Online Resources and Apps: Take advantage of online resources and meal planning apps that offer free tools and templates for creating personalized meal plans. These platforms often provide features such as recipe databases, grocery lists, and meal prep tips to simplify the process.
Experiment and Adjust: Creating the perfect meal plan may require some trial and error. Be willing to experiment with different foods, recipes, and portion sizes to find what works best for you. Monitor your progress and make adjustments as needed to ensure you’re meeting your health goals.
Benefits of Working with a Health and Wellness Coach
While creating a personalized meal plan for free is a great starting point, working with a dedicated health and wellness coach can offer additional support and guidance. A coach like Olivia Thompson can provide:
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Customized Meal Plans: Olivia Thompson can work with you to create customized meal plans that align with your dietary preferences, health goals, and lifestyle. She can help you plan meals that are delicious, nutritious, and easy to prepare, making it easier to stick to your meal plan long-term.
Education and Empowerment: In addition to meal planning, Olivia Thompson can educate you about nutrition, portion control, mindful eating, and other healthy habits. She empowers you with the knowledge and skills you need to make informed decisions about your health and well-being.
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Ready to take your meal planning to the next level? You can work with Olivia Thompson, a dedicated health and wellness coach, to create professional personalized meal plans tailored to your needs and goals. Simply visit Olivia’s Talkiemate profile here to start your conversation today.
Conclusion
Creating a personalized meal plan for free is an excellent way to improve your diet, manage your weight, and optimize your nutrition. By following the steps outlined in this guide and leveraging online resources and apps, you can create a meal plan that suits your individual needs and preferences. Additionally, working with a dedicated health and wellness coach like Olivia Thompson can provide personalized support, guidance, and motivation to help you achieve your health and wellness goals. Whether you’re looking to lose weight, improve your energy levels, or simply eat more healthily, creating a personalized meal plan is a valuable step towards a happier and healthier you.
References:
“The Importance of Meal Planning for a Healthy Diet” – Healthline
“The Benefits of Personalized Meal Plans” – Eat This, Not That!
“How to Create a Personalized Meal Plan” – MyFitnessPal
“The Role of Health Coaches in Nutrition Education” – American Nutrition Association
“Understanding Macronutrients: Carbohydrates, Proteins, and Fats” – Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health
“Choosing Healthy Fats” – Mayo Clinic
“The Science Behind Meal Planning” – PubMed
“Meal Planning Apps and Websites” – Verywell Fit
“Understanding Nutrition Labels” – U.S. Food and Drug Administration
“The Role of Nutrition in Weight Management” – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Disclaimer: Always consult with a healthcare professional before making any significant changes to your diet or exercise routine.

Well, my son turned 16, and every year the last five years all he ever asked was for a cat. So he got two cats for his birthday 🥳. Brother and sister. They turn seven months old and Both are getting fixed in two weeks. Wish it was sooner but the vet where I live always is so full it takes months to get pets in if not an emergency.
Anyway, how do we make it not stink?
He paid $300 for a self cleaning litter box because they were so picky that if their box was not clean, they were peeing in my tortoise enclosure. They love their box, and use it well. But boy does that room stink.
It gets raked after each use and poo goes into a compartment. It is completely cleaned out and changed weekly!
We use pretty kitty litter or the kind that came with the Pet Safe litter box. He sprinkles, baking soda in it daily. And there’s airflow to his room. He washes bedding weekly. He does a full sweep and mop weekly.
They eat dry food only. They do steal dry dog food. 🤣🙄
What are we doing wrong? Is it because our male is still intact, or the female? Will this stop once they are fixed. Is the stink always there?
I don’t want my son to turn into one of those people who smell like cat litter when they go out shopping or leave the house. I don’t want people to walk up to my son’s window and smell cat. 🐱
My aunt has two cats and it’s not like this at her house.
-help-
I’m allergic to cats, not to the point that I can’t be around them, but they make me itchy, they make my eyes itch. If I take allergy pills it doesn’t trigger my asthma. So I’ve always been a dog owner. I have no idea how cats work.

These bowls are really good-looking in person, but I saw a warning label on the bottom that mentioned they're made with Ethyl Acetate. Does anyone here know if it's safe for food to come into contact with Ethyl Acetate?

I don't believe Kendrick is talking about Stephen Curry.
this picture is from Theodore Weintraub's court case, and lists someone with the name Lebron and Careri
Has anyone thought up a possible reason why? Aleski Lebron is a security officer, and Rina Careri is director of food and beverage.

So being a Gemini with an air dominant birth chart I can safely say that my least favorite zodiac of all time would be Taurus mostly due to the fact that they tend to spend too much time sitting at home in their comfort zone doing the same thing all while being surrounded by their precious worldly possessions. I on the other hand need freedom, adventure and variety. Yes there are moments when I do enjoy sitting down and relaxing but for the most part I need to be constantly out and about socializing, seeking new experiences and trying new things. There's also the fact that being a natural born intellectual I seek to obtain greater knowledge in a wide variety of subjects (even though most of my interests lie within history, astrology and crime thrillers) while Taurean's only stick to topics that fall under their field of interest and since they aren't the most curious and adaptable type of individuals they could care less about trying new things or learning topics that fall short of their field of interests which will only frustrate my needs even further. Of course it also depends on what their given moon sign is too. For example a Taurus with an air or fire moon is going to be more curious and open minded than a Taurus with an earth or water moon. Aside from the fact that I will end up sharing a few good laughs with the Bull from the beginning there isn't that much I like about this fixed earth sign at all which is why it is my pick as my least favorite zodiac of all time.
As a bonus my least favorite zodiac of all time was initially either Capricorn, Scorpio or Cancer. Mostly because Capricorns are huge workaholics who I thought we're picky and had the need to always be right but then I came to realize that those traits are more associated with Virgo which is why I have them as my second least favorite zodiac for obvious reasons. Plus I've had a few Capricorns as friends in school and we've actually shared a few good laughs together which is why i've moved them in my number 8 spot. Scorpios are known to be complex and enigmatic individuals who are secretive and hard to read and being a Gemini I love to talk and tell stories so I already have a problem here. Not to mention when a Scorpio is angry they get very aggressive and if you especially do something that really hurts them they'll hold you accountable for it until you address it through action. However since I am drawn to complexity and mystery they get a definite pass for being my least favorite zodiac due to the fact that I love deep, complex personalities but they are still far from my most favorite zodiac as they are in the 10th spot aka third to last place in my list of most to least favorite zodiacs. Last but not least Cancer. Cancers are known to possessive, moody and reactionary individuals who need emotional support and being more of a thinker than feeler I'm not the type to go deep and talk about emotions. Don't get me wrong I can be a very compassionate and supportive person for sure but the thing is you have to have a logical explanation for why you're playing the victim card in order for me to care because if you're just coming to me about your problems for attention I'm not having any of it. The good news is that since Cancers are so loyal and willing to listen to every word you say to them during a conversation coupled with the fact they are also very compassionate and supportive when you're in need of someone to vent out your frustrations to they also get a definite pass for me and are placed in my 9th spot.
So what is your least favorite zodiac of all time?

I'm a 38 y/o female.
I was diagnosed with asthma as a kid.
Current meds Soprobec 200 two puffs AM, two puffs PM, ventolin as needed.
I moved into this flat in 2022, was fine before I moved and to begin with, then I developed worsening asthma symptoms as the months went on. I spent ages trying to fathom out the possible cause. I found no sign of mold or anything like that. then found out tobacco smoke from the man downstairs was coming into mine, it's been so bad on a couple of occasions my bathroom has 'fogged up' with smoke. I have tried everything, including having the council works department out to see if we could seal up any gaps etc, nope, no way of stopping it. He seems to vanish for long periods of time, leaving his flat empty. During these periods, my asthma symptoms vanish completely.
In response to my worsening asthma symptoms, in Jan 2024 the asthma nurses at my surgery decided to increase my ICS dose of Beclomethasone from 400mg a day to 800mg a day. Now I have high functioning Autism on top of all this, I am far from dumb or stupid, but anything to do with numbers seems to go over my head a lot of the time, even though I am better at maths now, amounts of things can still flummox me.
NOBODY told me this was considered a moderate to high dose and I should be carrying a steroid warning card, nobody, not once. I wrongly guessed it was only a few mg more than the soprobec 100 I was on. The Soprobec 100 was two puffs am, two puffs pm.
Now, since I have been on the Soprobec 200 at 800mg a day, I have developed some extreme and very disruptive possible side effects.
All possible other causes of these symptoms just got ruled out in a complete bloodwork which included diabetes, hypercalcemia, thyroid and iron deficiency, which are all possible causes of the things I have listed below, all tests have come back requiring no further action.
These are:
EXTREME, unquenchable thirst. I am drinking easily over four liters of water per day. I am also waking up several times a night for a drink, and if I go out I must carry water with me otherwise the thirst is VERY distressing. I feel dehydrated on a 'cellular level', like it doesn't matter how much I drink, I feel thirsty WHILE drinking water!.
Fatigue so bad I can hardly get up out of my chair most days and I am asleep by 9pm, where before I would like to chill with my dog watching a film or something till about 12pm. I have gone from waking literal miles through local fields and woodland with my dog, to barely being able to take her on the local park which is only across the road. I hardly ever go out, and if I do, I suffer immensely as my muscles start aching. I live upstairs and I am struggling getting up the stairs.
It feels as if I have lost all muscle tone all over my body. I no longer feel safe walking my dog as she is med size mastiff cross who is quite strong, she has almost pulled me over at times and I cannot even lift my kitchen bin bag or the laundry basket, I have NEVER had this problem before.
I have lost my appetite and have to force myself to eat every meal, often taking hours rather than minutes.
Episodes of vaginal thrush, something I have NOT had for YEARS, started when I went on this high dose of ICS.
My once 'perfect' periods are now very heavy and irregular.
I feel more angry than before. I had to seriously check my anger levels in my adult years, and developed a much more patient and stoical outlook to life, which brought my stress levels down massively. Since I went on this inhaler I have been snapping at people again, including my own family :(
Tingling hands. This can come on anytime, never had it before the inhaler.
A terrible hoarse voice and it feels like my voice is getting deeper and I am starting to sound 'male' other people have noticed this too.
Profuse sweating on my hands and feet. My hands DRIP with sweat, to the point I hide them from people. Never happened before this inhaler.
Salt and red meat cravings. I am not a big fan of either, and due to heart problems in the family I keep my salt intake low. Other day I just felt compelled to walk into the local coop and buy pork loins and a pack of beef biltong, things I haven't eaten in many moons. I recall saying to myself 'this is SO out of character for you'.
Episodes of nausea, two episodes of vomiting in the morning over two months (not preggers before anyone asks lol) which were not related to anything I had eaten.
Dizzy spells and almost fainting, usually happens if I push myself to do even basic stuff like household chores, which I usually enjoy doing.
I know these are listed as 'rare' side effects, but unusual thirst, tiredness and weakness is mentioned both in the patient info leaflet with the inhaler, and in various other information regarding side effects, such as this article: https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/corticosteroid-inhalation-route/side-effects/drg-20070533?p=1
I take the inhaler via a spacer, my technique is good, I've been doing this whole asthma game all my life, so I am pretty ofay with it all now lol.
I have had a battle over this inhaler with my GP and other asthma services as well. They just do NOT believe ICS can have systemic side effects, in contradiction to what the drug manufacturers say on the leaflet. I think I am going to have to go back to the GP and stand up for myself, which is not something I am good at at all, and present them with this information leaflet, which actually tells you to consult your doctor if you develop any of them!.
Would it be worth asking to try the same dose, as I do not want to risk withdrawal, I have experienced this before from ICS, but on a different steroid with a different inhaler?.
Is there any more bloodwork I could ask for, perhaps adrenal function or cortisol levels?.
I am at a loss, I need to control my asthma, but I also need to be able to live!.
Thank you for taking time to read this, I hope everyone is well and your asthma leaves you alone to enjoy the summer!. :)

Basically I had to change my phone because the other broke done and I forgot to install the app that reminded me of my T-shots so I just didn't had it, I have one every 21 days and I missed it for at least three days (probably more, I can't remember my last shot), but it was less than 28 days so no major issues appeared.
But lately I had been feeling awful, here are a few things I noticed, and to be clear I'm not saying these things were caused by a physical deficiency of something biological, I'm well aware some of these "signs" were psychological, I'm just listing things I had been noticing: • My acne worsen slightly. • Felt like my hair never looked good. • Took longer choosing what to wear, felt nothing looked good on me. • General feeling of tiredness and sleepiness. • Had difficulties concentrating, writing, reading and paying attention. • Little social energy. • Digestive problems, diarrhea and issues digesting food I'm used to eating normally. • Headaches (could be related to the weather though). • Lose my inspiration to write or read. • Difficulty sleeping.
I found it quite interesting how my body truly needs testosterone now, it's worth adding HRT not only improved my quality of life but my physical health as well so honestly I feel like I always needed it.
All of these and i wanted to ask, anyone else here has experienced this sort of effects after missing a shot? I feel like the consequences of not taking T while you're on HRT aren't as explored as the effects of T itself.

This is my first time DMing a campaign, and I have decided to go the route of homebrewing my own world. I'm having a hard time actually building the foundations of the world, and was hoping for some advice or inspiration
I brainstormed some ideas about the world, but I just can't get past writer's block and feel stuck. Listed below are some of the ideas I have regarding some basic lore.

• Main religion is that of worshipping the sun and moon as gods.
• The oceans of the world are black like ink, and are what the Gods used to create life. (The life of men)
• The children of the 2 main Gods represent landscapes, such as mountains, the ocean, ect.
• The first life created by the Gods were dragons that became guardians of certain areas of the earth and are designed by the environment they inhabit, such as a Red Dragon protecting a volcano
• Some of the children aren't just landscapes but represent ideas such as hope, death, life, evil etc.

Overall I have a broad idea about the creation, but not how people interact with Gods or their children in forms of worship.
As for the actual world itself I'm having a hard time creating factions or just town building in general. I've watched some videos for how to create towns and cities, but am having a hard time for inspiration on where to put things, and creating geography for the world. I messed around on a fantasy map building site and randomly built a world outline, but that's all I got. I never realized how hard it is to actually world build lol.
I've only had one session so far with my group. In the encounter I had them start as level three and were all together underneath a colosseum as they were captured and sold into slavery to entertain the masses of lower nobility families that had been pushed away into exile by a paranoid king that was in power named Hagvard evil eye.
I had them in a cage under the colosseum that was lifted using gears to move them into position on like a Ferris wheel type contraption. On top of the floor was a trap door they came through. The colosseum had 60 foot walls high with a mote that was 20 feet across and secondary walls 80 feet high behind the mote with a couple of wizards 120 feet up using wall of force to keep the masses safe. The location was on the island in the bottom left corner of the map. Essentially it's Australia. They ended up fighting some Worgs, and winning. I put them back down to get a short rest, but they decided to escape even though I made the bottom of the colosseum have 12 human guards, and the cages of animals they were going to fight in the ring. I tried to make it player proof, but of course things go off rails.
I have nothing set up beyond this and pulled all of this out of my ass the day before the session. I have no actual caste system or towns set up besides this fighting arena.
Any advice or ideas would be great for inspiration, thank you in advance!

Hey y’all! Just got home from Welcome to Rockville 2024… what a crazy, wild, fun, and HOT weekend! I’m gonna just list out some tips for the festival for anyone that plans on going in the future and some tips for concerts/festivals in general!
everyone is different and this is based on my personal experiences at concerts and festivals. Some tips may be super obvious, but if you’re a first timer, it’s good to have a reminder! There is no guarantee all these tips will apply to you/be allowed at every/future festivals. Make sure to check festival/concert venue rules and regulations before you go

1. Keep an eye on the weather! The weather was hotter than I expected a couple days, and cooler other days. Make sure to pack some back up outfits and FL in May… expect anywhere from 70°-95°… with humidity the first day, it felt like over 100°. They also delayed doors one of the days because of possible thunderstorms. Download the WTR app to get alerts right away!
   
2. Lockers are lifesavers! Who wants to carry extra weight all day?! I splurged on a 4 day locker and am so happy I did. Great meet up spot when you’re with friends and get separated, can throw a towel and extra clothes and sunscreen in it and grab what you need when you need it. Wanna go in a pit or crowd surf? Toss everything in your locker. Don’t want to be bringing things in and out of the festival? Leave it in the locker overnight!
   
3. To avoid heat exhaustion and passing out, stay hydrated!! I did not drink any alcohol until sunset each day and drank lots of water during peak heat of the day. They ended up allowing hydro packs because it was so hot. I would bring one along just in case they say you can bring them in. I do not condone drugs but if you insist on taking them, be aware that Rockville had a police dog at gates and please be safe and don’t test your limits at a festival
   
4. More on bags and hydro packs… www.lunchboxpacks.com has clear bags with hydro packs. If they don’t allow the hydro pack, you can remove it. These bags have anti-theft zippers and pockets, and with all the reports of lost phones and other items being literally stolen out of pockets and bags, this bag really helped keep everything secure. For me, this bag passed through security with no issue. Side note, DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK if they haven’t announced letting hydro packs in, you can hid the bag and tube in your clothes, it’s all plastic and won’t set off an alarm.
   
5. List of helpful items to bring:
   

• Sunscreen (for my makeup lovers, I used a 50 SPF CC cream on my face so I could have some coverage and not get burnt or have a greasy face)
• Sanitizer
• Lip balm with SPF
• Wet wipes
• Tissues (literally will be breathing in dirt/sand and will get congested… blow occasionally)
• Sunglasses
• Bandaids (I had so many blisters from wearing Docs lol)
• Ear plugs
• Power bank/charging cables (lunchbox packs has a great power bank)
• Towel/light blanket (use to sit on the ground if you don’t wanna stand in the crowd or seating in tents is full)
• Extra shirt/bottoms (best to keep in locker. Some stages had a dude with a firehose spraying the crowd and I got drenched. Also one night it got cold and I was able to put a tee on over my bikini and I almost had a bodysuit malfunction another day so having shorts to put on helped)

1. Dress “code”: wear whatever you want (ladies, nips have to be covered!). I saw people covered head to toe, in comfy clothes, costumes, and people wearing pasties and thongs. Anything goes! They are strict on spikes… do NOT wear anything with spikes. They allowed small chain necklaces, but no thick chains… however, day 1, walking to the entrance of the security line I had thick chain necklaces on and the security guard at the entrance told me to hide them in my bag… I got them through that way and then put them on. It seems like once you get through security, they don’t care unless some issue arises from something you’re wearing/brought in.
   
2. Crowd safety! Careful in the pits! Remember the number one rule… if someone falls… PICK THEM UP. We are a family so let’s help each other stay safe. If you see someone acting up, tell security. If someone is stealing, tell security. If someone is about to/is passing out, get a medic. If you are near a pit and not in it, keep an eye on it so you don’t get knocked over. If someone comes at you, don’t freak out and shy away, just push them back in. If the pit is behind you, my best defense (I am a pretty small female so be careful with this one if you’re bigger) has been shoving my elbows back behind me to keep people from knocking me forward. Make sure you look back occasionally/pay attention to people around you because there will be an insane amount of crowd surfing… someone even went up in a wheelchair during Slipknot and ADTR told people to crowd surf on top of a crowd surfer… it got crazy and dangerous so STAY ALERT
   
3. Finding your way around… you will have slim to no reception. Keep an eye on landmarks… stages, sound booths, entrances, rides, lights, tents, food trucks, etc. this will help you navigate and set up meeting spots for when you’re with friends. Keep screenshots of the set times and circle what bands you are going to. Set your lock screen to a screenshot of a note with info if your phone is lost or stolen (number of friend/family to call if someone picks up your phone or police catch a thief, your name, etc.) and change home screen to a map of festival.
   
4. Food and drinks: look at all the food options before you pay… some booths give you a kiddie portion for $20+ and some give you more than a full size meal for $15. Try to eat proteins AND carbs since you will be walking a LOT. Protein is going to help with your muscles, while something with carbs will fill you up more so you don’t have to eat as much/often! The drinks are also pricey. The Heavy Tiki booth was definitely the best deal, frozen cocktails in a huge cup with a shot of dark rum on top… $22! Small mixed drinks were about $18.
   

Well if I think of anything else, I’ll add it to the comments or edit post! Rock on y’all!

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Whether for every day sandwiches or for special occasions, Gomti Foods' breads are top in the list of people who wants nothing but the best.