Well, this year had been very tough for me especially that i moved out and started like in England from an overseas country and study in Scotland which was also another miserable story but it happened by some miracle as well, so yea i go to skl there as I live in on the borders between Scotland and England. Sometimes, you just wish things could’ve been clear in the beginning in some sort of ways in your life, so you could’ve prepared for your future in a more manageable and better way, but since we have no clue what the future holds for us, we have to cope with it that way. For me, when I first moved to the UK, I solemnly wanted to have a degree in medicine (till now but through a whole different, realistic route for now) in a very unrealistic and insane way before. my family and I currently live in England as I said, and since the Scottish government has issued a rule for people being eligible to study in scotland for free if they have lived for 3 years continuously and either they or their parents have ILR (permanent residency) they can apply for fee wavier for uni, so I was on hope for doing an odd plan where we’d move before a certain date, 1st of August, to Scotland and stay in college in Glasgow or Edinburgh for a year and then look for another college which is the only available one that offers advanced highers for medical school and take a gap year and work (as if i were the grandson of queen Elizabeth or smt like everything could be that easy), yet life doesn’t work that way and it never will. I learnt it the hard way tho anyways, turned out after emailing unis, that i can’t be eligible and i became hopeless cuz i will be 19 by that time and won’t be eligible to attend this college as i wouldn’t be connected to a school since this is a rule to be enrolled there. So, I didn’t give up and looked for other routes and stuff (not for medicine tho). I then decided to do physiotherapy and applied to 5 unis (got 2 conditional offers thankfully) one which is very far away and the student accommodation is very expensive and the other is where I live actually so basically, local uni but the local uni requires high grades from me (not very high tho according to what i have already equip from level 3 qualifications) so like I did Alevel Biology before (not in England tho) so yea that stands for 40UCAS points according to the grade i got in this subject. so im literally 88 UCAS points short. However, since I am doing some scottish highers this year (4 subjects), i said to myself yeaaa that’s ezzz who the hell can’t achieve BCCC? and yea turns out that im a big-shot clown LOL i am way too concerned of not even passing like tff!! but yea anyways, this is not really my fault cuz i started skl in November, took me a month to cope with stuff (studies, new life, school, and uni stuff like preparations and interviews and thing like that ofc yk what i mean) so it was a huge shot for me all at once including that i had several fam issues that disturbed my life frr and i was even in a worse state of mind before all of that, so i was completely burnt out ( i couldn’t study, socialise, or even js get out of bed) everything was too stressful and like my whole future is literally relying on lame nonsense subjects like PE and geography PE didn’t make sense at allll especially that i had no resources and for anyone who has previously attained PE in scotland, they will know how much it’s a suffer to study from past papers cuz marking scheme was way too irrelevant with diff answers everytime, and it’s all literally about subjective answers from different candidates as I have observed and not based on curriculum or any sort of model answer 70% of the time, and literally school teachers especially the PE was the worst of all the time. she never helped me with anything even when she tried to, she used to tell me to come to her after school which is literally at 4 and I had to take the train which would arrive at 5:20 if i ever wait for that time and go back home at 6? like sorry mate i aint doing that. she never gave me any resources to study from or any guidance or advice about the whole thingy. her classes were very boring and useless i swear. So yea typically i had to self study “everythinggggg” and by everything i mean everything except for English but yea unless i had all of these previous info about writing aspects and stuff, i swear i could’ve not even made into stepping inside the class. Lol so it’s been basically only me working hard as i already had background about stuff which helped me to some extent cope with the change and not drastically drown. this is attributed to the fact that i used to be in an international british system in my home country so thank god i was or else i would have been cooked. i already got cooked tho so yeah i found that website 3 days before the exam i think it’s called STAPE which quite helped me and it’s my only hope for now, but like brooooo 3 dayss??💀💀 even though i had been searching for monthsssssss i dont know why it appeared to 3 days before the exam this is an argumenet the other argumenet is geography like can u plzz tell me who tf made this syllabus?💀💀 and why are questions worth 8-12 marks on average? and yea like one mark is like a whole line and can sometimes be 2 lines in the marking scheme not to mention that many questions are verryyy similar in answer “marking scheme” even when they are different questions i remember that in the Physical geography section
so yea in a nutshell, SQA is shit asf i mean when it comes to the british system for PE, you basically study pure Human Physiology and Biomechanics. like why the hell isn’t it that way for SQA? why does it no make sense?? like frr doesn’t make sense at all and it’s such a crap subject i see. No offense, but like im very glad SQA is going to be scrapped forever and the next generations dont have to go through this.
so yea guys this us my short-long story LMFAO im js so desperate and devasted rn cuz i can’t believe that PE is now deciding on whether or not i will have a future oh and let’s add geo to the latter
whomever’s reached this point, i beg u not to do those two subjs ever, drop out school easier now guys all i want from u is to wish me luck or death cuz im dead either ways after what sqa did to me ik this whole thread was too random speaking abt diff aspects and stuff but yea it’s js my miserable life story LOL

I’m a current preschool teacher majoring in elementary education. Because this major is more common, my school allows us to add a middle grades cognate (ss, sci, math, eng, or esl). I’m leaning more towards teaching middle school anyways. Spanish and math have always been my favorite classes in school, but I’m so back and forth on the two. I love equations, and conjugations are just like an equation to me. I consistently get A’s in the two, and even received an award for highest Spanish grade in HS. My preschoolers got their ABC’s and numbers down easily, so it’s harder for me to base this off of my teaching experience. How can I compare the two and make a decision? Are there benefits to either? Does state testing make math more difficult to teach? Thank you in advance!

I recently got fitted in Nikolay 3007s, 4 xxx with a medium shank. I went to a fitter I trust (Victoria is her name I think, at The Leotard in Portland) who has a lot of experience doing fittings. She agreed that these shoes supported me well. My other shoes, Bloch Axiom 4.5 xx, caused me to metatarsal a lot. I showed my Nikolays to my ballet teacher today and she thinks they’re way too small and “will give me bunions”. She’s been teaching for over 50 years and usually has a lot of solid advice, so I want to trust what she says.
When I first got my Blochs, she “tested” them by sticking her index and middle finger under the vamp (kind of aggressively if I do say so myself). She tried this again with the Nikolays, and she concurred that they’re too small because she couldn’t fit her fingers in. I agree that they feel smaller than my other shoes… but with the other shoes, I have to add layers of lambs wool and paper towels for my feet to properly fit because they compress a lot.
Should I try to size up or get refitted for my Nikolay shoes? I got them off of ebay in the same size I was fitted in because I couldn’t afford the full price.. I’m not sure if I could return or resell them, but I don’t want to dance in a way that damages my feet. What should I do?

Hello everyone, I have had an interesting trip to say the least.
Backstory, me and the bride met in middle school at a summer Christian camp. We went to the same school, but she was a year older than me. We were close friends in high school but drifted during college because that’s what typically happens.
Fast forward, she graduated last year and moved back with her fiancé. We linked up afterwards and our friendship is doing great. I was invited to the wedding, not a bridesmaid which is not a problem because I am so happy that she met someone who cares for her. I just wanted to clear that up because I know some will jump to conclusions (looking at you Charlotte, if you’re even reading this).
Now, the bride invited me to the bachelorette weekend and of course I accepted because who doesn’t like a girls exclusive weekend?! She got it for free from one of the bridesmaids and asked if she could bring me since one of the other bridesmaids just gave birth. She accepted!
We will call the owner of the beach house Stella. Stella was fun to be around and seemed to have a great sense of humor. I found her to be passive aggressive towards me, after seeing my necklace (I have a birthstone that my bf gave me, a cremation necklace for my dog who recently passed {bf also got me that bc he’s a sweetheart and we love a good gentleman around here}, and lastly a cross with an infinity thing). She stared at my chest a lot, I originally thought that she was just enamored or jealous by my enormous jugs (I am a size H) and shrugged it off.
Later we were playing drinking games in the house (still the first night) and every thing was great! Stella suggested that we play truth and dare, which I didn’t like because I thought that it was too high-schooly, but I went along anyways. After everyone had gone around, Stella suggested spicing things up. I was interested by replacing the truth rule with drinking, but immediately thrown off when she suggested stripping.
As I stated earlier, I have size H boobs, I have always been self conscious about them, especially since they have scars from open heart surgery. Stella said we would have to work our way from the top to the bottom and then first one out of clothes had to streak. I thought it was an insane idea, but really who am I to judge as a Christian? That’s Gods job, not mine.
I politely declined and told the girls that I would be on the balcony watching the waves because I was uncomfortable with showing my boobs to everyone because I am not good with dares.
Needless to say Stella threw a fit and called me a boring Bible thumper. I had not mentioned my faith at that point during the ENTIRE day. The bride stepped in and asked if we could just cut out the stripping part. That must have hit a few nerves because Stella told her that there was no way that she was taking my side because she knew what Christians had done to her in the past.
Now I had no idea that she had any religious trauma and I feel bad that evil people severed her relationship with God because of their selfishness. I think it’s awful that so many hijack Christianity for evil and I do not blame her for the conclusions that she had jumped to about all Christians.
Turns out my friend had never mentioned that she was a Christian because of Stella’s disdain. Shit hit the fan when the bride told Stella that she was a Christian and that we became friends at a Christian camp. She freaked out and said that she could not believe that she had been lied to all of these years (they became friends 2 years ago) and that she could not stand to be around ‘disgusting Bible thumpers for any longer’.
We were all drunk. None of us could drive. And Stella wanted me and the bride out. The other bridesmaids were trying to calm Stella down and reassure her that not all Christians are menaces. Stella went to her room rambling about how I had made her friend (the bride) a homophobic witch.
We stayed the night, hoping Stella was too drunk to remember (which is where we might have been in the wrong) and hoped for an apology if she did. I honestly thought she would be embarrassed by her behavior. Instead the morning after she doubled down, BROKE DOWN THE DOOR OF THE BEDROOM I WAS STAYING IN, and demanded that the bride and I leave. The bachelorette weekend was then spent in our hometown bar hopping at the few bars there and sleeping at my parents house.
The bride asked Stella to step down and she told the bride to fuck off because she was going to step down anyways. I cash apped her 150 for ‘I’m sorry, here’s some money for a new door’ and she sent it back under ‘I don’t take money from homophobic Bible thumpers’.
I think that was her only insult, I have no fucking idea but man did my friend dodge a bullet. Imagine what Stella’s reaction would have been if a pastor had shown up to the wedding and she had to watch my friend and her fiancé announce their love to Jesus Christ and form a marriage in his name.
And for the question you all may be asking, no, I will not be a bridesmaid because I am graduating college and am broke.
Edit: I was splitting the post into paragraphs to make it easier to read

Need helpful advice/tips/real talk/encouragement on being a 6th grade math teacher!
Here’s why. Growing up math was my least favorite subject. I excelled in English and history and only was able to pass algebra etc. due to homework counting towards final grades. All of that to say I’d probably never seek a math position ever so naturally when I went in for an interview for 6th grade ELAR, partly through the interview they informed me I could possibly teach math instead. Fast forward a few days and they offered me 6th grade math.
So, I started envisioning mastering math and basically taking it and running with it, re-learning it so that I can teach it in a fun way. I have all summer to go over standards and curriculums. Im here seeking experiences from other math teachers and how they like it, what they don’t like, etc.
Thanks in advance!

I remember being 4 and 5 years old in my southern Baptist church kindergarten class and being told that Jesus was coming back or I could die at any second, so I better not sin and to accept Jesus into my heart so I didn’t burn in hell. I remember being absolutely terrified of the idea that Jesus could come back at any moment. I remember being so scared looking out the window thinking it could happen at any minute. There was just always a feeling of impending doom.
My first panic attack happened when I was about 6 or 7 at VBS. We were in a small dark room and I don’t know why on earth the lesson involved this but the teacher said “if this building collapsed and you died right now, would you go to heaven?” I remember so clearly the teacher saying that and I was trying to cover my ears and I ran out and burst into tears and started having a panic attack.
It didn’t help that I also had a religious nut teacher in the second grade that would tell us basically everyday the world was ending and would read us insane articles about “proof” that it was about to end.
So basically my whole young childhood was very heavily focused on the fact that the world was going to end or you could die any minute so you must be ready for heaven.
And I know that’s what has caused such a deep seated anxiety in me all my life. It’s like my fight or flight mode always stays activated. I remember starting to dissociate from a very young age. I remember telling my mom I didn’t feel like I was connected to my body when I was so young.
I wouldn’t say I’m anti-religious now. I would like to believe in a higher power but I am terrified of churches. I remember being so scared of what the sermon would be about every time we went. I remember that constant fear that everything could end at any second.
Late 20s now and have tried to control with meds several times over the years but haven’t found one that’s worked for me. I feel like I really need therapy for this. That “doom” feeling has stayed with me my entire life in my best moments no matter how hard I try to bury it. It also hurts that my childhood was so full of fear. I wish I could hug my younger self and tell her to be happy and not afraid and that it would be okay.
This was mostly me venting since I’ve never really fully unpacked this but does anyone gave experience with this?

I want to go to law school. I think I’d be great at it, inasmuch as anyone is, and I think I’d really enjoy it. I don’t want to break my back applying or ruin my financial future paying for it, though, especially considering I have pretty much no interest in big law, hefty salaries, or even really working as a lawyer—if it happened, that’d be great, but really, I want to learn and maybe have a skill set that makes me more employable down the road.
With that in mind, is there a way I can sort of do law school while avoiding the awful application process and not paying sky high tuition? Can I find syllabi online and do the readings myself? Are there any recorded lectures/classes available to the public (like Harvard’s intro CS courses)? Can I volunteer with a local organization, like the women’s shelter, that will teach me or maybe even help pay to send me to actual law school?
I’d love to graduate from an actual, accredited school, but I recognize that’s basically a pipe dream. It’s too competitive and too expensive, especially if I’m not actively pursuing a career in law, which is about the only thing that might pay dividends. But I’m relatively young, have a lot of free time, am financially stable (enough), love to learn, am highly organized, have always had a knack for academics, was raised in a school that taught exclusively through the Socratic method, and I’ve always wanted to do it.
Software engineering has boot camps (controversial, I know), schools in my area pay to put teachers through their MAT, the trades have apprenticeships, and our local hospital network reimburses tuition as a sign on bonus. Is there anything similar for law school? Any option at all for a (somewhat!) smart, autistic woman who really only cares about learning and maybe being able to apply what I learn later professionally, if only in a peripheral way?
I’m guessing not, but I am hopeful enough to ask!

My 4 month old is the light of my life and the best part of my day. I keep telling myself to focus on being grateful but I feel ashamed and irrational with how overwhelmed I am. It’s my birthday and I haven’t been able to respond to anyone. I feel sick to my stomach.
I keep thinking about my baby coming into the world via emergency c section and the terror I felt that he might die or be seriously injured.
I’m extremely stressed about my job. I was promoted before going on maternity leave and am struggling to keep up.
My elderly mom who I don’t have a great relationship with has cancer and no retirement savings. I’m extremely worried about her.
I miss my husband. I miss my friends.
I’m 25 lbs over the weight I was when I first got pregnant. Physically I feel very out of sorts.
I’m so exhausted at the end of the day that all I want to do is sit in silence.
I need to start making some changes.
I’ve taken medication for ADHD since I was in middle school. At first I thought this might be ADHD related, but I had an anxiety attack yesterday thinking about work deadlines this week. I broke down crying and was having trouble breathing. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, which led me to think it could be PPD. Any other mamas out there have a similar experience?

With the sub shortage becoming less of a problem in most districts and it being the end of the school year, I am finding it harder than ever to get sub jobs. That’s why I’m getting really annoyed when teachers cancel jobs last minute. Now I have to spend all night and early morning waiting for another job to pop up. Fun!

Mostly just need to vent.
So my table has one large mission as the main arc, but currently focused on an integral smaller mission within the larger mission. Main mission cannot be completed without this second one.
My table got a bit derailed tonight when a PC forgot about the mini mission (despite that being the whole previous hour….a bio break and short rest for for the in game characters made them whoosh forget that & they showed up at our next location super aggro and demanding my npc lead them to character needed for the main mission.
I tried to get them back on track, mentioning that that character wasn’t there. Why were they at this building (hint hint) and one poor PC tried to speak up but no one was listening.
I knew my npc had a hook to make him instant friends with a PC, so when they finally asked about a character involved with the mini mission I started my 3 sentence paragraph to give needed information. I wasn’t 6 words into my statement & this PC interrupted me and shoved my npc and yelled at him for being sexist (he was calling the 3rd character a rude teachers pet, which is probably the nicest adjectives you could use for this character) I pivoted and tried to have my npc mention the reason they were there and this 3rd character being involved…nope a 2nd pc PICKS UP MY NPC AND STARTED THREATENING THEM IN THEIR OWN HOME
I had to stop the table and remind them everyone was a good aligned character. They just walked into someone’s home, were welcomed nicely, the npc introduced themselves but they didn’t introduce themselves, they started demanding stuff and the got rightful defensive and now he’s being attacked….well my 2 PCs said I made a very unlikable npc and said they wouldn’t change anything.
Okay. Who am I to show horn them into a path. They then guns blazing go into the room with the actual bad guy…no planning or plan…per my module she’s to instantly cast fireball. I stopped the session before she cast anything. I ran the damage and the two PCs closest if they didn’t pass their saving throw would be on death saves…..I don’t want to do that, but I am mad they are being so aggressive.
This is only session 2 and they weren’t this aggressive the first session. Our previous campaign I wasn’t the DM and this group was really murder hobo-y but everyone was on board (it was Shrahd) and the setting more lent itself to that. But even then our DM then would complain we didn’t ask questions or talk to NPCs or try anything other than hit first and go oops we needed that person later.
Frustratingly the main aggro PC is our former DM.
I have talked to him already. He apologized. And promised to let me finish speaking when characters are talking. Especially when it’s obvious I’m reading something prepared (probably important if I wrote it down)…but his advice was to have us “reset” back to when they came inside, but I don’t want to do that.
As sorta frustrated as I am, that’s part of dnd. Having your characters go their path. I’m just not sure how to get them back on track. I want to punish them for going so fast into this, but I know if attack them with this 3rd character then they’ll attack back and probably not hold back and leave the campaign if their character died start of session 3. (I’ve invested $300 into this module and really want to see atleast some of it through) I did metagame warn them that they’re level 3 and they need to start thinking about that before they go attacking everyone they meet. (The npc they shoved and nearly fought was a level 13 wizard…they weren’t going to win that fight).
Guess I’m also frustrated that I’m the only female in the group and they attributed alot of negative female connotations to the one sentence my npc said (called him catty, b**chy, rude, annoying, petty) when they knew the person they were meeting was a part of a known evil organization. But no how dare my nice, welcoming npc not like the evil organization character….when I asked that in the session debrief I was told it was “how I presented him” with my one sentence…I think next time I would stop them and say “let me finish what he was saying before you take that action” but I’m not sure that would have changed anything.
Just sad that I don’t think this group is the right group for this campaign and I’m so invested in the story.

Optimistic title, I know.
For reference, I’ve been practicing daily for about two hours for around five years. I’ve worked with a small selection of teachers and have finished my first year of performance at university.
In my time practicing, my theory and improv and tone has improved. However, my range is stuck at a middle school level and my technique is just passable.
It’s not my embrasure, or pressure, or not practicing slow enough. I understand conceptually how to get better it just feels like I can’t.
At what point should I reasonably hang up the horn professionally and find something else?

”1Now there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce misery-inducing heresies, even denying the Master who redeemed them—bringing swift misery on themselves."
Even the false teachers here are described as redeemed. The misery they cause others will come back on them. So, they they still face consequences--but they are redeemed, purchased by Christ from the slave market of sin.
Continuing in 2 Peter, I think the fire Peter describes is for purification, not annihilation. Those who conduct themselves in holiness and godliness can avoid this fire. But the new heavens and new earth that Peter describes will be purified by fire, along with all the people who were subjected to it as well.
2 Peter 2:1 logically supports unlimited atonement, which aligns quite well with universal reconciliation. The rest of the book can be interpreted through an ECT lens, but that's why I think 2 Peter 2:1 is a key verse, supported by 3:5 of course.

Chapter one
How do memories look for you? Like flashes? Clear as day? Can you remember?
I can. I can see things so clearly. I can hear things so clearly. I can remember. But only as flashes.
I’m listening to Cathy O’Briens book and she says write. Do not speak.
Even now I don’t think it’s the same as typing.
I plan to get a notebook specifically for my memory. It’s strange. Like vomit. All mingled and mixed. And out of order. And “this memory” makes me think of “this memory.” And “this happened” but then before “this happened”. And I wish I could talk to someone but then also I’m glad I’m not. Cause what if they lead me astray. What if they make me believe it never happened.
This piece will be out of order. And for that forgive me. I want so badly to be cohesive and coherent but I’m afraid everything is jingled together.
Even now I have so much to say. The parkway. The basement at the elementary. The send off. The moving. The sexuality. They darkness. The depression. The dancing. The curiosity. The principal. Hiding under the desk. The gifted program. The dancing. The willingness. The ducks. The parties. The men. The lamp. Sergio. The face touch. The blood. The penthouse. The club. The drinks. The promises. The moments. The warnings. The desires. The memories. The tattoo. The dildos. The performance. The chat rooms. The meet ups. The hospital visits. The blood stains. The positions. The rooms. The timing. The willingness. The stretching. The exam. The scared nights. The scary movies. The drunken adults. The lumber jacks. The cia. Rox. The satanic worship. The rape of him. The unknown history of my family. The wealthy in Georgetown. The dress up. The music. The handball. The four square. The singing. The dancing. The sodomites. The teachers. The screams. The need for me. The desire for me. The bartenders. The p’mers. The stomach aches. The separation. The piss. The dark. The bath. The blue outfit. The men. The bus ride. The taxi ride. The train. The massage parlor. The neighbor. The chat rooms. The men. The parkway. The basement. The hallway. The grandparents. The crib. The dreams. The screams. The fear. The bus. The bubbles. The drinks. The cops. The piercings. The drives.
Nothing happened to me ever. I was never molested. I was never raped. I was never taken advantage of. I was protected from everything and anything.
However, by the time I was 16, I was heavily and deeply knowledgeable and accustomed to just about any and everything sexually in any and all parts of my body and also more than willing.
And I had tried committing suicide 3 times and lived with chronic stomach issues for the majority of my child hood.
For what reason I have no memory.
Cathy says to write. Write and your brain will think logically. And you will remember.
There’s so much, I don’t know where to start or what to write about. It’s different on a phone cause I can go back and add or re word and re order. I’m doing this tonight cause I don’t have a notepad. But it’s all out of order on paper and in my head. But if I write, even if out of order, maybe I’ll remember. I don’t even know why I’m posting.
But I have to unravel it. Beginning to end or not in order. There’s a lot of clarity but not a lot of memory.
And how and why does that make sense? It doesn’t.
So forgive me for this blog, for it will more than likely weave a tale that doesn’t make sense and is probably not true.
Or is that my alter telling me I will never remember. Cathy O’Brien says write. And I will.
Was I an mkultra/ human trafficking subject in the 90s and 2000s?
I hope to find an answer.

My mother is a teacher and has used a program for her students for the last few years. She used to get a significant discount, however, it has been removed unless you are affiliated with a nonprofit/charity organization.
It would be extremely nice if she could get the discount back - she is now paying a significant amount of money out of pocket for the program as the school will not cover it all.
I need the easiest (and preferably, cheapest) way to file a nonprofit which obeys these rules. I am a U.S. citizen, so countries that require citizenship elsewhere will not work. A U.S. nonprofit will also not work, as they require 501c3 status which is too expensive. I would sincerely appreciate any help or ideas!

How do I get fulfilled in Christ? How do I get peace and joy reading the Bible? Every single day I worry about salvation, I have major anxiety and stress, a porn addiction, a drug addiction, I’m depressed, and every time I try to develop my relationship with God more it feels like I am doing ALL the work. How do I surrender to Christ? I’ve heard multiple times it’s a daily choice. I get that, but isn’t Jesus supposed to give us strength to do that? I’m weary and burdened despite what Matthew 11:28-30 says. I’m constantly overthinking, doubting, and struggling to do anything God related. I truly hate it. I keep going back to drugs, porn, masturbation, etc. I am fulfilled for a few hours at least there, but I am just miserable when I read the Bible. I feel like a POS when reading it, I’m only convicted, I feel no love. I’m scared to talk to God a lot because I feel he is mad at me, I enjoy things that are not sinful but most things I enjoy are sinful. I’m so tired, exhausted, drained, etc. What do I even do anymore? I want to be on fire for God but I can’t do this. I’m lazy when it comes to that. I never feel a real connection and am doing it out of obligation rather than love because I fear punishment. I’m so lost in my walk with Christ.

I’m a middle school teacher. During our grade level meeting today, we were discussing what our non-negotiables will be next year. The discussion got a little heated (more frustration from teachers than anything), but it did make me curious. What do you do to help your students be more self-sufficient?
What happens at your school when they don’t have a pencil? Paper? A charged computer?
Our 6th graders have to make a to-do list every week. It is the end of the year, and they still don’t understand that the reason they make the list is to actually complete the missing work.
We have students that will trash our belongings, their belongings, and classmate’s belongings. If we try to discuss it with them, they just expect us to replace it and fix it.
What DOES work for your school? What consequences have you been able to give that actually work?

I have been investing for my retirement goal for last 3 years. My current retirement portfolio is

1. UTI NIFTY 50 index fund - 60% allocation
2. Motilal Oswal s&p 500 - 20% allocation
3. HDFC corporate bond fund - 20% allocation

Purpose of corporate bond fund is to have a debt portion which is well diversified (high credit rated debt instruments) and provide better than lower duration funds like liquid, ultra short term. This will help me book some profits when equities rup or invest more in equities during a downturn
What changed and why I am making this change?
Only reason for this decision is the taxation change introduced in budget 2023. Any fund with equity allocation less than 35% will be taxed at slab rate.
I am in 30% tax bracket fortunately or unfortunately, so my real return will be very less if not negative after taking tax into consideration.
Why PPFAS DAAF?

• Offers indexation benefit by maintaining equity allocation more than 35%. More tax efficient than a Corporate bond fund
• Equity portfolio is hedged by using eligible derivatives. So, unhedged portfolio exposure as per the Parag Parikh management statement is 20%
• Invests in defensive stocks (paying dividends/ offering buybacks). Won’t be investing in expensive companies ( PPFAS has a proven track record in this front)

Overall, PPFAS says that it is recommended for someone who is looking to maintain debt exposure with indexation benefit. It fits my requirements perfectly.
What happens to existing HDFC corporate bond fund?

• No fresh investments but I will not touch existing investment in this for now. I have investments made in this fund recently as well. I will wait till some of my units holding period crosses 3 years, so that I get indexation on units purchased before FY23.
• Any need for rebalance, This will be redeemed no matter what happens with taxation etc.,

What next?

• SIP in PPFAS DAAF
• I am also looking to remove MO S&P. For two reasons, taxation and the funds stopping inflows every now and then. Even today lumpsum investments are not allowed in MO S&P 500. Any rebalancing I won’t be able to invest more in this. I don’t want to deal with this as portfolio grows, there will be rebalances.

Any suggestions or comments are welcome.

Hi there, so I’m currently 16 and really want to become a chef, I’m wondering what the best route would be, and if it’s worth it.
I’ve been in a kitchen since I was 13(worked for my dad’s pizza restaurant), and for the last 6 months been working in a retirement home as a cook (20h/ week).
I also have my first year of culinary school completed through a high school program(it’s a really really easy version of actual culinary school but still counts)
How long would it take? and what’s the best route?

I’ve been waiting for years for them to finally take this step. My mother is a horrible, manipulative, cruel person. When they get divorced, I’ll never have to talk to her again.
The only thing is that I am worried about my dad. I can already tell that it’s going to be messy. He deserves all the happiness in the world. Life has dealt him a really rough hand, and he is still a kind and loving person. I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything okay for him. He’s in his 60s and supposed to be retiring soon, but I’m not sure how possible that’s going to be. He has a great support system in place, but I still can’t help but worry about him. Depression runs in our family on his side, and he has it well managed. This is something that could definitely make it flare up, though.
Anyway, just a little venting. This is one of the scenarios where divorce is the best possible outcome, but there are still some big downside about the process. I’m crossing my fingers he gets through this unscathed.

My cousin married this guy no one in the family liked. When they were dating, he cheated on her repeatedly. He brought a six year old son from his previous marriage in to the relationship, and at one point my cousin found out he was having sex with prostitutes with his son in the same hotel suite. I don't know why, but she forgave him and married him.
An older relative recently had a milestone birthday for which a lot of us gathered. Cousin's husband, who is very loudmouthed about his political views, started in on public school teachers at some point. I am a teacher, as is my husband, as was the relative celebrating the birthday (before retirement). I asked him twice to knock it off, but he kept insisting that teachers are "groomers" and "pervs" out to influence the kids to be gay and trans. I finally said, "I wonder what's more harmful to kids, having a gay teacher or tagging along on daddy's outings with hookers?"
The entire party (about 40 people) went silent. My cousin started sobbing and her husband hauled her away. My bday relative was embarrassed and my mom is mad at me, but not my dad. I might be the asshole because I asked him to tone it down but couldn't keep my own temper.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I’m currently 15 years old—I’ve been on the self improvement journey for a little while now. To keep things short, my philosophy is to turn my life around at my early age right now instead of in my 20s 30s 40s or after. I want to live a fullfilled and fun life for as long as possible, which is why I am starting so early. My biggest thing is time. There are so many things I want to do sooner rather than later. One example is getting enough money to buy my parents a bigger house, fund their retirement, and allow them to travel the world. They are getting pretty old and they won’t have the ability to travel the world for much longer because they will simply just be too old to do so. That’s why i dont have much time ykwim?
I just wanted some advice from basically anyone older than me or with more experience on how to do things FAST. how to level up fast. I get the norm of dont rush things—but still.