Question/issue: my home network in North America is showing up as being located in Asia to some apps like banking, facebook, etc. despite the fact that tailscale is not being used on the devices of my home network.
Set up:
Location A: Asia Location B: North America
I have Tailscale set up to allow exit nodes in Asia and North America. In Asia, tailscale is set up with my pfsense router. In North America, tailscale is set up with my synology NAS.
I have exit nodes set up in North America and Asia. I sometimes use North America IP to tunnel traffic.
Today my parents in North America told me that they're getting notified by some apps that they're located in Asia. When they use whatismyipaddress it shows North America. The devices getting these notifications don't have tailscale installed.
I'm wondering whether this is related to cookies - maybe because I used my computer in Asia to use my North America exit node that some cookies are getting picked up and my IP in North America is getting flagged as actually from Thailand?
Anyone know what could be the issue here? It's very confusing.

Welp I fell for it. I sent one stupid picture, honestly it isn’t that bad because it is just a straight DP and in a separate picture is my face. I fell for it a few nights ago and blocked but they added me again on a different account and said if I blocked they would leak and sent me screenshots of my instagram following. I folded and paid what I said was all I had because I’m not a fool. I sent them $50 through a razer gold gift card. They went on to say $50 wasn’t enough for them to delete. Obviously they are going to want more but I insisted that I was broke and they made a “deal” $100 every two weeks for 4 months till they get their total. I have zero intentions of playing along to this so I went and said I don’t have a job etc but I would get one if they give me time. So I bought myself a couple of weeks right now. I already deactivated one of my instagrams and my Facebook and put a post up on my private main account warning my friends or family of a potential hack/leak. I’m going to leave that account up for a day so people see it etc but then going to deactivate it. Honestly it isn’t so bad because if you think about it, it’s just one picture in the drop of the internet of millions. Also it doesn’t directly have my face on the DP so I could just deny etc. I’m not worried or anything but just want to share because this just happened maybe an hour ago from posting this.

QLD AUSTRALIA
HI all.
Hypothetically..of course. Say I run a Facebook page in which members in a city can post a man they have met/been talking to to find out from other women in the area if he is safe to meet up with etc. Some women post men and leave a comment allegations abuse/Dv and other experinces with the male.
If one of these males found out about the post, and decided to sue myself as an administrator as well as the person posting for defamation...what might my options be as an administrator?
I am well aware that if someone decided to sue, that they would have a right to also persue the administrators of the page. I am also aware these sorts of cases are not likely to be won as the criteria for proving defamation is very high as well as the costs involved.
However, in terms of legal representation. How might that work for myself? I don't have the money to pay for a lawyer, I already live paycheck to paycheck.
How would I source a lawyer to fight the case without money? I know this is probably a very silly question I just have no idea how this all works.
Some friends have said I would be able to go to a lawyer for a no with no fee and counter sue for mental distress etc.
However I just get the feeling that there is no way for me to have this suit filed without me having to spend a cent on my defense.
FYI, this hasn't happened. I am just trying to decide if continuing to run this page is worth it considering the above.Q

Hi, I'm the founder of an EdTech platform. It started off as a question generator, but now I'm planning to upgrade it into a full-on AI-powered suite (AI Tutoring, progress tracking, etc). I launched an MVP on Social Media (Facebook and Threads, organically) and it blew up: 100 new registrations and active users in the first 24 hours. Immediately after that, there have been 4 more people who decided to buy the cheapest option. Some even messaged me as for how the app has been something they'd been looking for. A week later, there's even one person who decided to sign up for the premium package which is the AI-powered suite (since we haven't finished developing the package, I redirected the users to an email waitlist for notification once they pressed purchase.) I believed our product was on its right track to achieve PMF.
However, after 2 weeks, when the hype evens out, I stoped getting significant signals: 2 weeks later and my app got 70-ish more sign ups, DAU drops down to about 5 to 10. I think it is because some users just want to try out new questions on our app but it is not enticing enough for users to have it in the long run. I have recruited two more developers to help out on adding more features, and we agreed to share the profit of the first two months after the next big campaign (mid June).
My question is:

• Should I be woried of the stats after the hype?
• What should I do to promote / increase the conversion of our EdTech platform?
• What are the options for me to scale the project, given its current state and that I haven't establish any kind of company yet?

Thank you for your time, I really appreciate your help.

IDK WHAT TO SAY HONESTLY every time i mention im autistic or its brought up in conversation she keeps saying “you’re not, the doctor just said you show symptoms” like lady that same doctor sent me home a letter that literally reads “a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder has been confirmed”
Also she keeps saying “the doctor says you were just borderline autistic” (im quite sure she did not because genuinely what??)
she also doesn’t want to tell my family because of my close cousins would look at me differently and one of my aunts works with “severely” autistic children and would also look down on me (I’d like to hope she wouldn’t if she works with autistic kids??) She also keeps trying to tell me about how this was my decision when literally all I wanted to do when I got my diagnosis was talk mad shit about my past teachers that completely ignored so many of my autistic traits and the mad waiting list times
And if she ever admits that yes I am autistic she pulls the “but it’s only level one though so it’s very very little autism and doesn’t affect you” like im pretty sure a disability is going to alter my life in some shape or form and those levels are supposed to describe different support needs of autism and not one general diagnosis (correct me if I’m wrong of course)
Also throughout my 2 years of waiting for an assessment EVERY time it was mentioned I got hit with the “are you sure you want to ruin your life like that with a diagnosis?” Like the only people that are gonna know are me and my gp, my employers are not gonna go digging through my assessment looking for reasons not to hire me
she’s also completely unwilling to learn anything about autism which Is… really unhelpful but not surprising
I feel like the answer is kinda obvious at this point but what the actual fuck do I do is the real question now 😭 like I understand the whole people looking at me differently thing but I also could care less so maybe I should make a big fat Facebook post saying “fun fact - I’m autistic, and i was pretty good at hiding it all from you until I got bored!” And then just post a pic of the little “autism diagnosis has been confirmed” image
IDK it’s kind of funny but also really frustrating please help me Reddit you’ve never let me down before 🙏

Hello.
I'm tying to figure out what is going on here. I have Google Fi as a cell provider on a Google Pixel 8 Pro. In late March I switched my calling plan to Unlimited Plus so I could add tethering. I got my bill this month and Google Fi is saying I used 91 gigs of data total. 54 for my phone and 36 for my tethered device. My phone is only reporting 42 gigs total. 6.5 for apps on my phone and 36 for tethering. WHERE is the 48 gig discrepancy?
I don't play video games (ZERO), I don't watch videos on my phone. I don't Tik Tok, I don't edit graphics or video. I don't video chat or stream video game live streams. I don't do anything heavy data wise on my phone.
How did I go from 8-10 gigs a month data used on my phone to 54 in one month?!
When I look at my mobile data usage it says tethering was 36. The next most used was Facebook at 1.01 gigs. All my apps together only account for 6.5 gigs (and I rounded all the totals up).
Are they double dipping? Counting the data when my phone was acting as a router and then adding tethering data used thinking it's 2 different streams?
To put this in perspective, I watched about 20 hours total of Youtube TV at 240k on my tethered device. That used 36 gigs. I would have to watch almost TWICE that amount for my phone to use that kind of data. It's not possible.
Why is there such a large discrepancy between what my phone reports and what Google Fi reports?
I added this months usage to the post. We are basically half way though the month and it's a fraction of the data compared to last month. I'm doing the same thing this month as last. And if you look at the app usage, what Google Fi reports and what my phone reports are a BIG difference.
They aren't listening to me. Help me help them understand.

I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
​
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
​
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.

Hi! I live full time in a RV. I’m looking to purchase an e-bike, since my RV is just too big to drive around everywhere haha.
I have an 90lbs pitbull, and I want to tow him around in a bike trailer behind the e-bike. So the bike must be powerful enough to help me do that, even uphill sometimes.
I’m limited on space so I need a bike that can fold to a compact size. We are traveling around to different national parks, so I need a bike that is equipped with different speeds to manage sometimes rougher terrain.
I want to take advantage of the pedal assist function so I can go father and faster then walking. Maybe 60mi range, but the higher the range the better, I think.
I’m also broke, so I’m either going to be buying an e-bike used on Facebook marketplace, or I find a model that’s under $1000.
I would really appreciate: • bike model recommendations • what to look out for when purchasing a used e-bike, to avoid scams • any other information that would be useful to somebody who has no idea about bikes or e-bikes
TYIA!

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Hi! I live full time in a RV. I’m looking to purchase an e-bike, since my RV is just too big to drive around everywhere haha.
I have an 90lbs pitbull, and I want to tow him around in a bike trailer behind the e-bike. So the bike must be powerful enough to help me do that, even uphill sometimes.
I’m limited on space so I need a bike that can fold to a compact size. We are traveling around to different national parks, so I need a bike that is equipped with different speeds to manage sometimes rougher terrain.
I want to take advantage of the pedal assist function so I can go father and faster then walking. Maybe 60mi range, but the higher the range the better, I think.
I’m also broke, so I’m either going to be buying an e-bike used on Facebook marketplace, or I find a model that’s under $1000.
I would really appreciate: • bike model recommendations • what to look out for when purchasing a used e-bike, to avoid scams • any other information that would be useful to somebody who has no idea about bikes or e-bikes
TYIA!

Full interview: https://www.youtube.com/live/0hIyE8jSzYg?si=iY6Rzyqe5upSJkBz

1. Seth confirms the PI's exit was due to Tony's involvement.
   
2. Seth said he likes Tony because Tony does whatever he tells him
   
3. Seth says the PI's didn't share all information with him and weren't checking up on leads. Seth says it's his operation, not theirs.
   
4. Tony and Seth say the Proudfoot's aren't working with them, and Tony's job was to get them on board with Seth.
   
5. Seth said the leaked phone call of Chris Proudfoot interfered with getting the Proudfoot's on board. Tony rebukes Chris Proudfoot for calling into Cluemaniti with fake voices. (note: there's still no proof this was actually CP. If anyone can link clear evidence of this please do so)
   
6. Tony claims Chris Proudfoot agreed not to do social media but did it anyway, said "he's not a good guy".
   
7. Tony said he was Seth's agent for the latest Nancy Grace appearance in regards to the polygraph he took.
   
8. Tony said he had an agreement with Nancy Grace's producers that the interview would not paint the Proudfoot's in a bad light. He said when the polygraph administrator said Seth told him he believes Katie accidentally OD'd Sebastian he advised Seth to hang up immediately, which Seth complied with.
   
9. Seth confirmed this account from Tony. Seth said the polygraph administrator ask for his top three theories on what might have happened to Sebastian. Seth said he said the OD theory and an additional two more, but the polygraph administrator only focused on that one.
   
10. Tony said he spoke with Nancy Grace's team afterwards and that's why this part was edited out later on.
    
11. When asked if Seth actually believes the OD theory he evaded the question.
    
12. Seth rebukes people for worrying too much about Chris Proudfoot's ex-wife and other drama.
    
13. Seth talks about his physical search during the first couple of weeks. Goes on to rebuke people "running their mouth". He's venting quite a bit. (IMO he deserves a break here)
    
14. Seth shut down the GoFundMe because of "grief" about it. Said he used the funds for flyers and other things like that. (Fair. I admit to thinking it was more nefarious than what it likely was)
    
15. Seth is being quite genuine during this venting. (I'd hug him, no lie)
    
16. Tony rebukes Pascal's chat.
    
17. Tony talks about how awesome he is, and what a saint he is for helping Seth.
    
18. Seth rebukes soical media vultures. (Even though he's on social media vulture Pascal).
    
19. Tony once again talks about how awesome he is.
    
20. Seth praises Tony for doing whatever he tells him
    
21. Tony rebukes social media vultures, on social media vulture Pascal. Tony says it's okay to make money off of Seth's missing child, and rebukes them, and then says it's okay again. Then rebukes them again.
    
22. Seth says he has no social media and listens to Tony to stay off of YouTube... While he's on YouTube. Seth rebukes someone for commenting on his weight.
    
23. Seth praises his volunteer searchers for putting their health and safety on the line.... Rebukes people that say bad things about him online.
    
24. Seth thanks the parents of the North Carolina boy that was thought to be Sebastian for giving him a few brief days of hope.
    
25. Seth has not seen all the footage the police have. Seth says there is dashcam footage the police have. Evaded all followup questions.
    
26. Tony says he has no idea about dashcam footage
    
27. Tony says neither of them have talked to Seth's mom about her Facebook posts, but they don't blame her. Tony says she is just venting.
    
28. Tony talks about how awesome he is for not blaming Calib's grandmother either. (Another case he worked on)
    
29. Seth apologizes for cutting Tony off, stands up for his mom. Says she's feeling very helpless, and he is too. Rebukes people for sending stuff to his both him and his mom.
    
30. Seth says he obtained Sebastian's CPS file. Says he won't share it, says his attorney told him not to.
    
31. Sumner county has this file. Seth says TBI didn't have it. Seth clarified he has a redacted copy. Says Tony hasn't seen it.
    
32. Tony speaks with authority on it even though Seth said he hadn't seen it.
    
33. Seth rebukes Pascal for prying the issue.
    
34. Something something Church. Seth challenged Pascal to come to the next vigil, Pascal agrees. Let's hold him to that. It's on the 19th!
    
35. Seth says if Sumner Sheriff and TBI won't clear him than they (meaning the Proudfoot's) aren't cleared either. (This is an interesting statement!)
    
36. Pascal than spends the rest of the interview making money from reading superchats priced $5-$50. He made good bank.
    

My thoughts, it's good seeing Seth sober and ready for these interviews. He's definitely trying to be more cordial. Even though I'm crapping on Pascal, and he deserves to be crapped on, he advocated for for a united front from Seth, Chris and Katie. He did however cowtow to the idea that Seth should just get to see all the evidence the police have collected. He's smart enough to understand why that can't happen. Tony definitely has Seth's ear, and he probably helped him out a great deal during the Nancy Grace incident... But I still don't think he's doing it for altruistic reasons. I meant it when I said we should hold Pascal to his commitment to come to the vigil. He made more money in an hour and half than I made in the 8 hours I worked today.
My last thought... An hour and 41 minutes. That's how long that live stream was and the majority of it was Seth and Tony addressing drama that Seth and Tony and basically everyone that wasn't the Proudfoot's created (with the possible exception for Chris calling in to Cluemaniti). At no point did the stream put up a picture of Sebastian. At no point did anyone say or show the number for the tip line. At no point did Seth mention what areas his volunteer searches have covered. At no point did Seth outline areas that still need to be searched. At no point did Seth give insight to Sebastian's personality that could help indentify him. If this was the very first thing I'd had seen about this case I'd know all about Seth and Tony and how they feel about things.. but Sebastian would be pretty much a mystery.

So i have been working on this board game on wich the best way to pitch it is an RPG game inspired from D&D with simpler mechanics and all card base to be easy to carry where the DM are the cards. I am completing some of the art and i am considering to do a crowdfunding but i would like to start making an audience and maybe start showing some of the game and mechanics to test with public. What do you guys suggest is the best way to create an audience with low budget? Previously i was having some talks with this company called LaunchBoom but the price is too exagerated for what they provide plus i would need to pay facebook ads. Is there any othet way for this? Any help is welcomed.

So i have been working on this board game on wich the best way to pitch it is an RPG game inspired from D&D with simpler mechanics and all card base to be easy to carry where the DM are the cards. I am completing some of the art and i am considering to do a crowdfunding but i would like to start making an audience and maybe start showing some of the game and mechanics to test with public. What do you guys suggest is the best way to create an audience with low budget? Previously i was having some talks with this company called LaunchBoom but the price is too exagerated for what they provide plus i would need to pay facebook ads. Is there any othet way for this? Any help is welcomed.

So i have been working on this board game on wich the best way to pitch it is an RPG game inspired from D&D with simpler mechanics and all card base to be easy to carry where the DM are the cards. I am completing some of the art and i am considering to do a crowdfunding but i would like to start making an audience and maybe start showing some of the game and mechanics to test with public. What do you guys suggest is the best way to create an audience with low budget? Previously i was having some talks with this company called LaunchBoom but the price is too exagerated for what they provide plus i would need to pay facebook ads. Is there any othet way for this? Any help is welcomed.

TL:dr- my guy got upset at me for having to haul a sectional down 3 flights of stairs, even though I didn’t KNOW it was on the third floor, and I’m simply upset he was angry at me over something I didn’t know and made something I was so excited to get into an unpleasant experience
To preface I adore furniture. Not only did I use to sell furniture, my mother reupholstered furniture and I wanted to be an interior designer. One of my proudest achievements in my life was decorating my first apt in amazingly nice furniture pieces over 3 years while living in poverty. One of the saddest things was having to sell all the furniture. I pintrest furniture. I scroll Facebook marketplace for furniture as a pass-time and daydream. At one point in my life it was the MOST fun hobby ever to go on day long trips to travel to other states to pick up cool furniture I’d found there. So you could say furniture is a deep love of mine.
What’s troubled me is in the last 4 years we had to downsize ALL my furniture because moving into a VERY small living area. The sale of all the furniture went into our saving. His hobby is house plants- a much easier hobby to fit in a home. So about half our living space is dedicated to his hobby. I’ve been pretty miserable unable to decorate for 4 years, and I’ve been pretty open about this. We’ve also been saving for a house so while I don’t begrudge him spending a 100 or so a month on his hobby; there’s no room to justify me spending say 200 on an antique writing desk we can’t fit here.
About 4 months ago I found my dream bedroom suite. When I say it was a dream I mean I’ve been looking for this EXACT furniture set every week for almost 8 years. I found it, for $400 for what’s around 8k worth of furniture- it was a 6hr drive and a headache to pick up. Without help to move it I missed out on the set. I was devastated. It was actually really upsetting because it’s something I knew I’d never find again in my price range. He reassured it me wasn’t a big deal and that I’d find it again. I won’t, I know, because I’ve been looking for that set for a decade. I explained to him that this was a passion and a great love of mine, it makes me feel at home in my space and expressed where I live. Relaxed. I explained how important decorating my home was to me and how glum I’ve been not being able to do it for years now. I asked him if next time we found a piece that worked in our budget if he would REALLY make an effort to help me get it because it was really important to me that he support my hobby the way I support his: I’ve learned about every hobby he has and listen in earnest, memorizing all the little things so I can talk to him about it. He likes to collect mugs- I made him a mug display, he likes to garden-I buy him exotic plants, he likes dinosaurs-I take the day off work to drive 2hrs both ways to pick up some rare dino collectibles. He says he will and I’m ecstatic, and begin talking about all the great adventures we’ll have collecting interesting pieces for our home.
One day he says the couch is old and hurts his back, he mentions it for about a month. I’m exstatic! Because it’s the only piece of furniture we have to sit on in our small home. I’m dedicated to finding us a really really nice one second hand, one he’ll like too, one that has back support, one we can cuddle on. I hunt for a week and he vetos several that he doesn’t like but I find a $2000 couch in good condition for 100. I’m so excited it’s actually in our budget, it’ll fit in our small space, it’s perfect! I feel accomplished, I feel motivated, I feel EXCITED to decorate the house. This is the most excited I’ve been to buy anything in YEARS. I’m giddy. Actual childlike glee!
When we get there to pick up the couch we realize the sellers didn’t happen to mention it was on the third floor. It’s a sectional but lightweight. I specifically picked so we could arrange it in our tiny space to have lots of little spots to read. And I can tell instantly this is going to be a problem. He’s going to get upset. I’m so worried he’ll be upset I try to overly positively handle everything- and get injured several times just trying to get it over quick and simple. And arm of the couch slams me in the throat and my hand gets rammed into a wall blood bruising my thumb. He’s uncharacteristicly unconcerned I’m hurt. All the climbing makes us both sick and shaky, so I suggest we sit and wait to fill better in the Ac before driving home.
When we head back I become very aware he’s not talking to me. He’s angry. I already know it. I try to apologize, to make things better, to explain I didn’t know that it was on the third floor and wouldn’t have got it if I had. That it was just a great deal and worked great for what we needed and it was in our budget (it’s almost impossible to find anything in our budget) and that we wouldn’t have been able to get anything near as nice so cheaply, that I’m sorry I know it was more than what he signed up to help me with and if I had known I would have paid family to help move it or thought of something else. I know his annoyance is justified. he explains it to me and to his merit he does it calmly, but he’s still upset at me- not just for the stairs, but for the drive, and for getting a sectional to begin with when “all we needed” was a cheap small love seat, he doesn’t GET IT and he’s pissed
He tried to be nice about it but he’s miserable and mad at me and doesn’t at all get why I was excited over it. By the end I feel a bit choked up, and teary eyed. I’m not a crier but I suppose he must have seen me tearing up because he clarifies he wants to support my hobby but doesn’t get it.
Yes things went arry but I thought it was almost a funny mishap, it wasn’t too bad getting the piece, we saved thousands of dollars, it’s the only NICE piece in our house and I was so excited to impress him with it. That he was angry, that he wasn’t even worried I was hurt- just ripped through me. Getting that piece of furniture, the first piece of furniture we bought together for our first home together meant a lot to me. To try to show him I wanted us to have something nice together I moved our old ripped up couch out by myself, scrubbed cleaned and arranged the new furniture by myself and moved every piece of it I could by myself. I also cleaned and arrange the living so that he could comfortably sit and enjoy the new seating in a well organized clean space. I stayed up for hours doing it alone till my body ached. But he’s still upset with me and I’ve lost all the “happiness” I had to decorate with him, I just feel embarrassed and sad. I don’t think I’ll be able to ask him to go with me again to get a piece, I don’t think he’d want to. It all just got so bungled. I just feel…. Like it was a missed opportunity to laugh and make a good memory, now it’s a bad memory I think will stick around.
I had hoped we’d travel together getting new pieces and making new memories. Now I just know we never will.

Hello folks! I'm moving from Armenia to Belgrade for next 3 months and I'm having hard time with finding an apartment. I found lotta websites and couple of Facebook groups, but the problem is that only 1 out of 10 landlords reply me, I'm reaching out via WhatsApp and Viber, I tried to message in English and in Serbian, both w latin letters(ovako) and with Cyrillic letters(овако) Websites I use: 4zida.rs indomio.rs nekretnine.rs halooglasi.rs What can I do to get replies from landlords?

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and finally I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

So I’ve been out of collecting for the last few years since scalpers ruined it, but I’ve been collecting since I was 5 years old, and have learned a lot about collecting.
If you’re a serious collector, I’d recommend joining the Facebook groups: - AUSTRALIAN COINS & NOTES - Buy Swap Sell by FNQ Groups - ACBC - Australian Coins Banknotes Collectables - Coins And Banknotes Australia (CBA) Buy Sell Swap
Those were the main 3 when I was buying/collecting a lot. The admins are all really great too. You’ll learn a lot in those groups.
IN REGARDS WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
If you’re collecting for value, there’s the obvious ones like the $1 ‘mule’ from 2000, $2 Red Poppy from 2012, 20c ‘wavy’ from 1966, round 50c from 1966, etc.
A good way to know if a coin is valuable is often based off its mintage.
In regards to $2 coins, you want anything really with a mintage less than 2 million. So 2012 Red Poppy (0.5 million), 2013 Purple Coronation (1 million), 2015 Red Lest We Forget (1.46 million), 2014 Green Remembrance Day (1.85 million) are the main ones, but there are others of course.
For $1, it’s somewhat similar, in regards to NOT error coins, but mintage wise, you’ll want to look for 1992 MOR (0.008 million - very rare), 2016 50th Anniversary of Decimal Currency (0.56 million), 2021 MOR (0.16 million), 2015 Anzac (1.4 million).
Surprisingly, the ‘A’, ‘U’, and ‘S’ stamped coins from 2019 with a mintage of 1.512 million never really was super desired, but it might become more valuable in future.
50c, 20c, & 10c don’t have much worthy of collecting for low mintage wise. 50c there are a couple of low mintage years for COA (1985 & 1993 - 1 million mintage, 2019 (IRB design) & 2020 (JC design) - 1.1 million mintage). The lowest mintage commemorative 50c coin is Eddie Mabo (2017 - 1.4 million).
20c lowest mintage year is 1988 (0.2 million) for platypus design.
10c only has one commemorative design in circulation, being the 2016 50th Anniversary of Decimal currency design on the obverse side of the coin (6.2 million mintage) but the lowest mintage for circulating 10c is from 2011 (1.7 million mintage).
5c I find interesting because before the release of 50th Anniversary of Decimal Currency 5c coin was released in 2016 (mintage 4.8 million - only circulated commemorative design for 5c), collectors often searched for the (previously) lowest mintage 5c coin, being the 1972 design (mintage 8.3 million). The lowest mintage for 5c now is the 2019 (JC design) with a mintage of 2 million.
When it comes to error coins If you’re noodling, check every coin for any errors, but it’s fairly widely agreed (to my knowledge) that $1 coins are most commonly found errors.
For $2 coins, the main error is: - Misstamped coloured coins (more common with the coloured $2 coins released in newer years, often the colour of the coin will be incorrectly on the ‘heads’ side of the coin, leaving the ‘tails’ side colourless)
For $1 coins, the main errors you’re looking for are: - 2000 mule (double rim on MOR coin) - ‘Spew Roo’ (error in design on MOR coin coming from the ‘mouth’ of the kangaroo up the top of the coin, not the main kangaroo) - ‘Rabbit Ears’ (error in design on MOR coin similar to ‘spew roo’ but on the kangaroos ears) - ‘Three Leg Roo’ (error on MOR coin where a background kangaroo is missing a leg) - Centenary Federation Rotation Error (2001 Centenary Federation coin is rotated different from the obverse side to the reverse side)
For 50c coins the main one is: - Millennium ‘Incuse Flag’ (on 2000 Millennium 50c coin where the star on the flag is affected)
For 20c, the main one is: - ‘Wavy’ 1966 coin (the ‘2’ on ‘20’ is notably different, giving it a ‘wavy’ affect)
For 5c, the main one is: - 2007 ‘Double headed’ (a 5c coin with 2 ‘heads’ sides, made in 2007) arguably up there as one of the most valuable coins
For all coins: - Rotation errors (more common with some coins than others, but a possibility nevertheless) - Misstampted coins (where the printing of the coins design is not inline with the actual coin) - Double head (very very rare, but a possibility nevertheless)
There are really so many possibilities when it comes to errors, checking each coin thoroughly for any misprints, rotation errors, etc. is a good idea when noodling
At the end of the day, your coin is worth as much as someone is willing to pay. Coin prices fluctuate. Holding onto coins to sell when major events happen, such as a death in the monarch or if Australia decided to become Independent and break from the Monarchy, would cause an INSTANT increase in coin prices, that is guaranteed to fluctuate. Sometimes coins will take YEARS to increase in price, take the 2017 Planetary Set as an example.. RRP $180 and at its peak it was selling for as much as $14,000 a few years ago, now it’s on eBay for $6,000. When checking the value of your coins, eBay listings are NOT accurate ways to value them. Always check the sold listings for a more accurate value.
Links:
Mintage: https://www.ramint.gov.au/circulating-coins#
Error coin (semi) list: https://numismatics.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/vol-27-harris.pdf

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
She then continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
So I don’t really know how to handle this. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and claims she lost me.

Gday team. I have a note I add to when I learn things about SM. I got sick of seeing the same questions so I every time I answered I added to the note and just pasted a generic reply. I’ve been invited to post it here, so here you are!
Here’s my ever-growing, non-specific copy-paste reply, built from my own notes:

• Remember, followers are only for your ego. If you’re a business, Would you rather have a million followers who never buy anything or 1000 followers who purchase everything? (Read Kevin Kelly’s 1000 true fans article). However, if you’re trying to build an account for a brand or human deals, you need as many as possible. I.e. athletes wanting future deals/contracts, actresses wanting future roles, etc
  
• Dollars are the only score that matters in business. You can sell 1 million $1 items or 1x $1m item, it’s still a million dollars
  
• How do you get your first ten followers/sales? ASK. Start with your friends/family/personal socials. “Hey, I've started this thing; I'd love for you to follow”. Then contact everyone you've ever known (see cold outreach later, but this is warm haha). THEN ask them all for referrals: “who do you know that could use my help?”
  
• Re: cold contacting. Have a framework, but don't automate. Solve their problems. Say something personal (” [mutual person] told me to reach out to you” / “I really like your x” /”congratulations on y”). I noticed that [problem]. Fix their problem. Wish them a nice day. Have an offer in your email signature.
  
• Your profile description should be a hook/tagline / USP and link to your offer. Remember you’re building your house on rented land if you use socials as your client base. Algorithm changes, and they’re gone. Try sending them off socials to your email list, learn storytelling in email marketing (Russell Brunson has good advice), and you will own that contact for life.
  
• Choose a monetisable niche, find the most successful person in that niche, and put your spin on what they’re doing (ask AI)
  
• Make GOOD content that is visually appealing, entertaining, and has hooks (you have 3 seconds to get attention), but most importantly, ADDS VALUE to your target market (ask AI for suggestions - you can even ask AI to create a customer avatar for you and then ask it how to make good, relevant IG posts for that avatar)
  
• Keep your ears and eyes out for trends. Can you throw a trending song over a clip?
  
• Leverage pop culture. Search for what’s trending daily. Can you combine a movie or album release with your product? For example, if you’re in the auto niche, create an image of a car covered in green slime coinciding with the new Ghostbusters movie
  
• Document your process. Humans evolved on stories & we love to feel part of something and/or have front-row tickets to the show. For example, If you post art, film yourself making the art, not just the final product; talk about your decisions along the way. Also, it is easy content for you, and you’re just filming something you’re already doing
  
• Share as many success stories/testimonials as possible, preferably videos. Tag them. Make it easy for users to share themselves.
  
• In a similar vein, and with permission, share your audience questions in your stories (and tag them)
  
• Remember the rule of 100 (you need to do something 100x before you get “good” at it). Have you posted 100x and made changes as you’ve observed what worked and what didn’t?
  
• Every 5th or so post, add a Call To Action
  
• Always have something to invite people to, such as an event (e.g. Facebook live, face-to-face), a giveaway, a new product, etc. Ensure all your social media banners, popups, CTAs & email sig reflect this (read Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port)
  
• Use the right hashtags (be discoverable)
  
• Post at the correct times for your target market (I like 6-630am so when they wake up and scroll, it’s on their feed, their lunch break and a story at 8 pm in the relevant timezone). Steven Bartlett credits the daily 8pm personal thought post the most important part of his success.
  
• Follow the top 100 people in your niche with between 10k & 100k followers. Engage with them daily. Share their posts. Comment on Their work. As always, be sincere and say something meaningful
  
• Comment relevant things on important people pages (Gary Vees $1.80 strategy)
  
• Spend $10 a day on ads of targeted content to targeted people (don’t “but I want to grow organically” - Do you want to be seen or not?). Start ad sets at midnight.
  
• Russell Brunson recommends ads are only for offers; posts that aren't offers aren’t to be paid for ads—two separate things. Ads get your customers into the funnel and upsell makes you a profit. Say you sell a $10 ebook and a $300 course. Spend $10 per click for the ebook, so it’s a break-even cost, and everyone who buys the upsell is pure profit. Ad budget for testing is the price/profit of ONE upsell, so $300 in this example. Then, reassess, test and adjust. If it’s working, keep it going, but also test variations regardless. Brendan Kane suggests 50-100 variations from memory. Again, get AI to help. Start with your headline. Ask for ten variations. Then your pic. Get ten variations. Then your hook. Get ten variations etc.
  
• Pay relevant influencers to share your stuff
  
• Read all of Gary Vees and Brendan Kane’s books
  
• Do these things 30-50x a day (Gary Vees' advice for new accounts, search for his eight tips 2024 YT vid) across all your platforms for months, maybe years, and you’ll grow. Perhaps someone famous will share your stuff, and you’ll go viral. But remember, each platform has its nuances, so you need to rework content for it (again, use AI - create one piece and ask AI to brainstorm how to recreate for each platform - you can start with the longest form, say a YouTube vid or blog post and ask it how to make tweets or IG posts from it) however you can still “push”. For example, you can post native Facebook content, but you can also put your YouTube vids and IG posts there
  
• Make at least three posts a day for a month, that's 90 posts, and report back what you learned, what worked and didn’t for everyone else’s benefit. *I've had some pushback on this: A) I don’t make the rules; this seems to be current best practice; B) 1st post = a BTS post of you developing the post, 2nd post = the post, 3rd post = a story summing up your day. OR make all your content in one day and schedule it to post throughout the week. If you don’t have money, you have time; if you have money, outsource it.
  
• Good luck!
  

so for context, i (18f) am bisexual and definitely have a preference for women and my boyfriend (19m) is 100% aware of this and respects it. this will make sense later i swear; so let's call my boyfriend bob to make this easier. bob has only ever been in one serious relationship before this one, they apparently were quite "toxic" and were on and off for 3ish years.
me and bob have been dating for just over a year and it's been great. besides him getting mad over me and multiple female friends getting in our male friends car to get from point A-B or to simply go for a drive since we live in a pretty small town. mind you, these aren't just random male friends -they're 2 people we have known way before i knew my boyfriend existed and we have never flirted or had any romantic connection in any way. i never thought anything was wrong with this until bob said it made him uncomfortable that other men were driving me around (he also didn't have a license at the time)
as he's always treated me well and i respect him, i stopped going out for rides with these guys and continued with going out on the weekends with the girls. but almost every time he would pick a guy or two that went to the function and ask me a million questions about them and act as if i was interested or if the guy was around me. what really annoys me about this is that he knows i am pretty easily 'off-put' by most men and my preference for women. the amount of men he has told me to remove as followers etc… even my plug😭
he has NEVER raised even the slightest suspicion about girls im around or new female friends i make, but any new male he gets super uptight about. i have never cheated on him let alone anyone and I've actually been cheated on in the past, so i know the pain and i could never do that to someone which bob is also aware of.
i don't use snapchat, i barely post on socials, this is actually my first post here (yay??) and id let him sift through my phone if he asked. despite this, he looked through my phone one night after i was knocked out from a 10 hour shift and all he found was personal messages from my two (17f, 18f) best friends. i was super upset about this but let it go eventually. now, i felt really bad for doing this; a few (maybe 3) months later i couldn't sleep and was watching netflix on my laptop and his phone charging next to me started ringing about 2 calls before i picked up and it was just bobs (19m) best friend wanting something from bob. i let the best friend know he was asleep and that i'd get bob to call in the morning.
instead of switching his phone off, i started looking through the almost 300 friends he had added on facebook. i found his ex, PLENTY (mostly) females and got so upset. since he still had his ex added i got suspicious and looked through his notes where he has a list made WHEN DATING ME with a code of the nsfw activities he's done and with who. it was disgusting and my name was of course in there.
then, recently he "didn't plan" to run into these two females with his mate who has a crush on one. apparently the 4 of them sat in a park together and "talked" and when telling me about it said "don't be mad" when these are random girls he barely knows and i've cut off males i've been friends with since middle school.