Cheats for egg breaker on facebook

StupidFood : Food. Point. Laugh.

2015.04.11 11:11 Clackpot StupidFood : Food. Point. Laugh.

A place to lambast idiotic methods of serving food, or any other epicurean inanity worthy of ridicule.
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2012.10.17 20:00 frogger37 By Farmers, For Farmers

Hay Day is a farming simulation game by Supercell for mobile devices.
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2020.06.24 15:03 Pokémon UNITE

Pokémon Unite is a free-to-play, multiplayer online battle arena video game available on Android, iOS, and Nintendo Switch.
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2024.05.16 02:09 SSSims4 Endanger people's health? I endanger your future.

Background: around late 2018 or early 2019 I lived in a place where it's quite common for university and college students to cheat by paying someone to write papers for them. This ranges from standard essays and assignments all the way to Doctoral theses. Being prone to researching and writing - I made some extra money by working freelance for a company that provided those services (in case you were wondering - while shady and immoral af it's completely legal for the writers, while students who get caught could face a disciplinary hearing which could end in being banned from any higher education institute for up to five years).
Crime: around 18 months afterwards (Covid in full cry) I came across a familiar name online (facebook) spreading anti-vax fake news, harrassing parents vaccinating their kids, the works. Now, I must admit, I hate anti-vaxxers with a burning passion, they're nothing short of bio-terrorists and their selfish, entitled narcissistic stupidity cost people their lives. So like I said, the name looked familiar, and it was. Turns out it was a former "client" who graduated from university thanks to the "professional assistance" I provided through my line of work at the time.
Punishment: went back in my inbox, and there it was. All of it. Her full name, her social security equivalent number, the university on which she was enrolled, the course name, the class serial number, the professor's name - everything. So I started making some phonecalls from an old payphone in a nearby convenience store, followed by sending some documents from an internet Cafe, and what do you know? About a week later I see her posting about her degree being revoked, her place of work thinking of firing her (as she no longer has the necessary qualifications for her internship) and how she's simply miserable all around. And the cherry on top? I don't think they told her how they found out, as she is yet to reach out to the company I worked for at the time and complain.
Tl;dr - reported an anti-vaxxer to her university's management for purchasing written assignments, got her degree revoked.
submitted by SSSims4 to pettyrevenge [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:50 noothershadeofblu Reflecting on AP’s harassment and emotional attacks on me after discovery.

After I discovered my husband’s affair, his affair partner LOST IT when he “broke up” with her the next day. She launched a series of emotional attacks on me, including having her friends DM my Facebook friends list including my relatives, coworkers, etc to humiliate me. She had her mother call me on the phone and scream at me and insult me. She hired an attorney and lied in court documents that she filed against me (attempted a restraining order against me) saying I was stalking her. (I have never laid eyes on her in person, I have only seen her in the naked pornographic videos of herself she sent to my husband that I found.) If the judge had actually believed her lies, it would have jeopardized my career and employability to have that on my record, which was terrifying when I was faced with getting divorced and having to fully support myself (one income household is rough these days as we all know).
She inflicted so much additional stress and damage onto me during the lowest, most traumatic and unstable time of my life. I was blindsided by my DDay and it destroyed me in so many ways. Dealing with her craziness and emotional attacks on top of everything nearly broke me. I do believe she was trying to get me to hurt myself. I definitely considered it.
I know she is a mentally ill woman. I mean, she was performing oral sex on her married coworker directly beside of a dumpster for months while engaged. She is diagnosed bipolar. Suffers from anorexia. Serially cheated on her fiancé with more guys than just my husband. I guess I just don’t understand why she came after ME so hard. She tried to ruin and destroy my marriage. She initiated the affair. I’ve read it all, where he initially turned her down several times and she escalated and started sexting him and pressuring him to meet up and then she gave him oral sex the first time they ever met up.
But Why did she hate me so much? Why did she try to ruin my life even more after my husband ended their affair? I just don’t understand how a person I never met in my life could purposely cause so much harm to me. He broke up with her and she came after ME?
My husband said she used to “stalk” my instagram and make comments to him about anything I posted such as if I posted where we went out to dinner or if we took our dog to the park or went on a vacation, etc. And she would complain how jealous she was. But how is any of that my fault??? She knew him for 10 months before she seduced him for fun. She chose to seduce a married man. I had nothing to do with her choice. Like; what the heck did I do to deserve a complete stranger I’ve never met to try to destroy everything I’ve worked for in my life (my career, my marriage, my financial situation, my home, my safety). What motivates these “other women” to think they are entitled to swoop in and “steal” someone else’s husband and lifestyle?
Anyway, I do realize this post is very blaming of the AP and not so much of my husband. Trust me when I say I very much blame him and hold him responsible for his choice and willingness to continually betray me. This post is more about after discovery. After discovery, this woman acted like SHE was the victim and I was the bad guy. It made no sense. Whereas,After Dday, my husband has completely done everything humanly possible to try to heal himself and repair our marriage including impatient treatment for pornography addiction, weekly individual therapy, weekly group therapy, etc. He never blamed me. He took full accountability and continues to do so.
We are 2 years post DDay and I still find myself wondering why his affair partner came after me so hard. I know he never said he was going to leave me. So I don’t know why she got so mad when he broke up with her. Was she delusional and expected him to leave his wife and life partner of 13 years for her when she was giving him oral sex beside a dumpster while engaged and while also dating other men?. (We have done a full therapeutic disclosure as well as multiple polygraph tests so I know my husband never told her he was going to leave me. In fact, he told her he was NOT planning to leave me ever.)
submitted by noothershadeofblu to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 01:19 headofaneye Is it cheating?

Hey so a lil bit context...me and my bf have been dating for more than a year and a half now and we are very much inlove. when we were about a lil more than 10 months together we had a month or two that we fought a lot and we both felt unheard by each other so the problem grew bigger by the day, at some point he asked me to lose weight even tho my weight is not at all high and considered normal (it's something I've been struggling with cuz like insecurety and stuff) anyways he right away apologized and as soon as the words entered his mouth he apolegized and assured me he dont really thinks that. Since then we solved our problems (nothing realeted to weight thing) and we've really done some progress and don't fight anymore as much cus we learned to listen to one another. an hour ago today the topic poped up (we try to be as open as we can with each other to improve our relationship) and I asked why did he said that back then? He confessed that in that time because we were fighting a lot it was hard for him to think about me and my body in a sexually way and started to look a bit at girls, not flirting, not even talking but just staring and compering my body to theirs, I want to make clear that cheating was always a deal breaker because he was cheated on in the past and this is the last thing he would do and that he never talked or intended to, with any girls and said that if they would, he would immediately reject them but him telling me to lose weight came from the comperision... He said that it never happened before or after that one time and we do really inlove and he is nothing but the best to me and always was and we are dating for marriage....what should I think or do? Is it cheating? Even tho it's not physical and even tho he told me so we could be more open, I still feel a bit betrayed...
submitted by headofaneye to okopshow [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 00:47 mythical849 Friend has me confused

Hello. I have some friends in another state that became a couple 2 years ago. Then a few months ago my female friend discovered my male friend was cheating on her. He said it was because of her mom. Which is controlling. But I stayed natural and didn't choose sides and told them they are both my friends and I was here for them both and was here if they needed to vent. But I wouldn't talk bad about either of them because I care about both of them. Before this started we would face time and play video games with each other a lot and even message in a group chat. Because we live so far away now. So not long after the break up the female friend deleted me on everything and blocked me. On Facebook, snap chat Playstation ect ect.. I was upset at first but then I thought about it and thought she's upset and hurting right now so she probably just needs space and time to herself and what not. That I wouldn't block her that I would be here for her when she was ready. And about a month later she messaged me on Facebook messenger. And slowly started to comeback around and at first just messaged some. Then called on messenger but no camera. Then face timed then added me back and unblocked me on everything except on Facebook. She didn't add me back but I didn't say anything. So she has called me everyday since for a few hours at night. And would get upset if I couldn't answer right away or if I got tired and wanted to go to bed. She gets upset and says I'm ditching her or running away. So I remind here I'm not running away that I'm always here for her. And she says I know its just I don't want to lose you too. So she's called every night for the last 2 months. So the night before last I sent her a Facebook friend request. And she didn't mention it or accept it. So I thought well I guess she declined it for some reason. Then about 30 minutes ago she suddenly messaged me that she can't be friends with me on Facebook sorry. And it didn't bother me except for 1 thing. She added me back on every single thing and had her kids add me back on Playstation as well. And has been messaging and face timing me every day for almost 3 months and gets upset when I can't get on a call right away or because it gets so late I start falling asleep and go to bed. But she says she can't be friends with me on Facebook????. Does anyone else think that's strange or weird? And anyone have any idea what the reason could be? I mean I know she doesn't have to accept the friend request and that its her choice. But it just seems odd that she would add me on everything and tell her kids to add me back. When I didn't ask her to add me back on the others she sent requests for me to add her back. So I'm just confused by the Facebook request being the only one that can't be accepted 🤔. I asked and she just ignored the question. So I respected her choice and dropped it. But does anyone else see the logic or what the reasoning could be? Or any advice would be appreciated. Because I'm totally confused
submitted by mythical849 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 00:30 Valuable-AssETs69 The Truth

I had 4 friends. Close friends. And one husband. Of the four friends, one used my name to create a fake non-profit, one used my name to create an alternate identity for herself to go meet men without her husband finding out that it was her dildos and not mine that were coming to her house, one used me as an aliby to cheat on her husband so she could say she was with me, and one used my social profiles to talk to me with money and wives so she didn't get caught cheating on her husband or labeled a home wrecker by the respectable well-to-do wives. Facts. How do I know? Because you used my Skype to get a number so you could cheat. Because you got messages from the men who were chatting with you. Because you did!!! One of you at least chatted with my husband and knowing how much you like to be famous, you probably did a whole lot more than flirt. One of you still logs into my iCloud account with the watch. And one of you lied about me having relationships with younger people. All of you can kiss my ass and get on down the road with the bullshit. One of you has a whole lot of angry black women thinking I am the white bitch talking to their man. One of you has a whole lot of wealthy socialites thinking I have daddy issues. And one of you has the medication mafia thinking I am fucking with their money and benefits matrix. Throw in the ex-husband who can't stay his ass off Facebook Marketplace and dating sites to stalk people and knows good and well his ass is a cheater who thinks as long as he doesn't have all his clothes in the same place I live he can excuse his whores by using the we were on a break defense. All of you can go to hell. Accountants, loan officers, teachers, and state employees....Fuck you all. He is not good in bed anymore. In fact, it is flat out terrible. It is too much work to get it up and no fun when it finally does decide to wake up, but then he's asleep and it's too much like fucking a crash test dummy. Just not worth the effort or dealing with his bullshit. So no thank you again. I'm sorry I knew any of you. And bestie at the bank, darling, you do know that video from the group home is still on YouTube, which means you are the one who exposed the entire community online since the names of my students were in my Google Classroom, which you hid the camera and videoed. I let you take a nap using my lap for a pillow and stroked your hair because you had such a damn bad migraine and you let people say I was bisexual and messing with younger kids. Your ass was not anywhere close to being a minor and I certainly didn't hit on you. I was being a good friend. I actually loved you like a sister. But you are a whore. I was not chatting with your brother in law, Josh, Alan, or your son's father. So get the shit straight. And you really should delete the cash app for Blake's girl before your boss's wife sees that one and knows you been fucking two of her men.
submitted by Valuable-AssETs69 to u/Valuable-AssETs69 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:58 Longjumping_Walk_992 GF with BPD asked for space so I ended it.

When they start pulling away that’s a huge sign the discard is imminent. It doesn’t matter what reason they give for it, look at their actions. You can’t trust their words only their actions.
In my relationship experience with my gf, we were on and off for five years and cycled back over a dozen times. I’ve been hit with blind sided discards throughout the years. Usually the discards happened when I thought things were at their best in the relationship and we were having our most closest and intimate times together. I loved her but my heart had hardened over the years and it morphed into a challenge and experiment for me as I am very interested in human psychology. The last three break ups were all initiated by me after I saw set boundaries bulldozed through by her.
In the past, I would have lingered and waited for the axe to fall not believing she would or could actually leave. Now armed with all this hard learned experience, I prepared and waited for her next hoover. Sure enough she came back each time. Sometimes after much more added betrayal. Sometimes she would monkey branch, she would never admit to it but I would usually find out months or years after the fact. She was great at keeping secrets and sneaking around and telling lies. This last time was more of an experiment for me. Her trigger after the love bombing stage and first discard was sexual intimacy which invoked emotional intimacy. Usually right after an intimate encounter she would either start a nonsensical fight and use my reaction as a reason to leave or would just disappear and ghost.
I’ve struggled with does she only have an avoidant attachment style or is there a cluster B disorder also at play. I really think it is BPD with covert NPD traits combined with an avoidant attachment style forming a mental trifecta; a relationship disaster. I knew this last time wouldn’t work. A zebra can’t change its stripes.
She contacted me again to get back together again. I played hard to get trying to decide if I really wanted this or not. I demanded numerous boundaries be agreed to before I would agree trying again. I pushed her so far away, I thought she might just say never mind but when I saw her reaching her limit, I relented and accepted her back with many boundaries in place. I told myself if these were broke I was done and I would leave. One important boundary was being blocked on social media. She would always keep me blocked on FB and other platforms while we were in a relationship. I felt it was to shield her harem from knowing about me and me knowing about them and what she was doing. She kept other ex’s as friends on FB and actually went back to him after we broke up on two occasions.
I often wondered if we put off having sex could we build a stronger foundation and have a longer lasting relationship. I also didn’t want physical intimacy to cloud my judgement and give me false feelings of love. So we both decided to not be intimate right away and just date and put an emphasis on building a friendship and getting close with out sex. Things were great in the beginning. She was trying hard. She opened up in ways I had always wanted. Some of those were because of boundaries I set in the beginning. I got to meet her family and friends. I saw a lot of the same cluster B behaviors in others close to her and her family members from suicide to serial cheating, multiple and short lived relationships etc…
Slowly I could see the mental fatigue on her face. She began struggling about two months in. We decided to plan a weekend getaway and be intimate. I put down deposits on an Airbnb and made plans. She started an argument the week of the trip. Her issue was that I offered to bring her to my gym as a guest so we could do something healthy together and bond. She just thought that was the worst idea ever. During the argument she also told me she could be talking to someone else instead. She then kicked me out of her house. I thought that was the end of the experiment. In the past any conflict no matter how mild would have been reason enough for her to break up.
Low in behold, I was truly surprised, I woke up to a good morning text from her apologizing saying she was not running away and I was her person and she loved me. She stated she still didn’t feel comfortable going on the trip. I lost deposits. I later questioned her about who she was referring to she could be talking to instead. She said she never could have said that as it would have been mean to say.
Fast forward approximately two months later the old argument about the gym was brought up again by her. It didn’t get to the same level of being kicked out of her house. I kept my cool and just gray rocked her and didn’t react. I just affirmed her and said ok. It seemed to give her some relief and not escalate things. We decided to plan a weekend at a casino where we would spend the night. This went off without a hitch. We had a great time and we were very intimate and had great sex. Afterwards laying in bed enjoying the afterglow, she commented this was never our problem. I asked what was our problem, she said it was her running away. She promised to never do that again. The next day we went her parents house for Sunday dinner. Things were great, she seemed so in love with me. I was elated. We were walking into her parents side entrance when I noticed how happy she was and I commented someone looks like they are in love. She turned around and looked at me with the strangest face. Almost like fear. I was taken aback but didn’t say anything as we were walking into her parents house and then greeted everyone. It was like a switch had just flipped. She became distant and quiet. I didn’t see her again until the following sunday. She gave excuses about having to work a night shift that was at first going to alternate every other day to nightly. At the end of the week she invited back to her parents house for dinner. She still texted but I didn’t receive any phone calls and the texts contained less affectionate terms and only offered up I loves you’s only after I did first.
While at her parents house her mother asked if I was going to her birthday party the next night at a restaurant. I said I would love to but I didn’t know anything about it. She gave her mom a wtf look and then said let’s see how he acts first. Me and her mother both looked at each other and laughed. The next night I show up at her house to pick her and her teenage daughter up who had been committed for attempting suicide in the past for the purpose of going to her mother’s bday party.
Two days in the future was Valentine’s Day, I asked what restaurant would she like to go too. She was like I don’t won’t to go out and gave a reason as the restaurants would be to busy but after my persistent questioning she offered possibly a lunch instead and said she would let me know. I dropped it as she was getting visibly angered. This was totally out of character because she always liked going out to busy places where live music and beer was had. I said ok and we continued on to the party. We were at a restaurant and normally she sits right beside me thigh to thigh and she would keep a hand on my leg. That night she sat atleast a foot apart from me and never touched me the whole night. We barely even spoke. Every time I tried she was dismissive.
After dinner we went back to her house and she sat me down to tell me that she felt pressured to see me after work as she missed going to stores and felt rushed to get home to see me. I didn’t react and just offered a compromise and said I understood how about we schedule a date night then. She never responded and just dropped it. She then brought up the gym argument again. I didn’t respond to it. I told her I was her safe place and to just relax. My head was swimming with thoughts of here we go again. I leave soon after her telling me she was tired and I got my peck on the cheek and left early. I did not receive a good night text or ask if I made it home safely. I sent a good night message and fell asleep.
The next morning I wake to no messages which was very abnormal. I normally get good morning messages from her and I love you’s every day. I sent my normal messages and she responds back saying she needed that. But nothing more additional. I go through my day and get nothing else from her. Normally she sends texts all day long. Towards 4 pm I send a text from a gym and a selfie saying hi , I love you. She hearted the photo and said then said she was going to her mom’s house and sent me a selfie of her. She was all dressed up and didn’t look like she was just going to her moms. I was hoping to get an invite to come over. Nothing more came from her. I asked about her daughter as she had was dealing with possible Covid symptoms and I got nothing in response. I didn’t feel like going home so I went to the movies by myself. Sitting there I was thinking why am I putting up with this. I’m really not happy. I feel so alone.
I go to bed and send my normal good night texts. I wake up in the morning and I did not receive any texts. I decided to try calling her and all my calls were forwarded. I then check her Facebook and now see that I am blocked.
I remembered the boundaries I set and the purpose of the boundaries. The purpose was to respect myself and not be used by her again. I did not want to be hurt and abused by her again. With so many discards done in the past by her, I felt the discard was in full swing. I felt she was possibly cheating and the push back was her trying to create space to water a new infatuation. She had recently transferred to a new department within her company and was promoted and allowed to select people she wanted for her office. My gut was telling me she was talking to someone at work which would explain the recent late night hours.
I decided I needed to end the relationship. I sent her a break up text as she always ended it with me that way. Before that happened to me so many times, I never would have chosen to break up over text. But it did allow me to spell out everything I saw and what I felt. It contained my closure and reasoning in an attempt to make my own closure for myself because I knew she would not give any closure and also to hold her accountable. I ended the break up text with an open door and said if I’m wrong please explain. I will listen. Her response was “Wow you said enough.” “I’m done.” I replied “yep, I know”.
Her mother reached out and apologized and expressed regret. I told her everything. I felt vindicated. She said her and her husband thought so highly of me and hoped it would have worked. She did not know if her daughter was seeing anyone else. We have since stopped communicating but we remain friends on FB.
I credit the lack of sexual intimacy as the reason I was able to look at the relationship with sober eyes and step away when I saw the signs. The signs were abuse. They truly were. If you love a person you would never ask for space and give such a silly reason. Sex would have produced false feelings of love. I was able to look at the relationship objectively and I was actually not happy. My needs weren’t being met. I felt so drained and unseen. I didn’t feel loved. She loved the way I loved her but it wasn’t reciprocated.
I felt the need perhaps due to the trauma bond and the perceived betrayal to learn if in fact she had monkey branched in order to help me move away from her permanently.
I reached out to another family member and the ex she monkey branched to in the past. I explained the above information and I ended up not receiving any new information. Both told her I had reached out and her ex blocked me. My ex then sent me an email demanding I stop contacting her family and friends and further more she would be filing a protection order. I never received the order. My only regrets was reaching out to her family and her ex. It just gave her a reason to smear me and to tell everyone I’m nutty person.
I cant say I’m 100% hoover proof at the moment but I have started dating again. I don’t think she will come back again because I believe she feels I can’t be used anymore and furthermore I’m willing to reveal her bad deeds to her family and friends. I think she will choose to move on to a fresh target who does not know her and what she is capable of doing.
submitted by Longjumping_Walk_992 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:35 WCInvestor A Physician Disability Insurance Primer - Do You Really Need It?

A Physician Disability Insurance Primer - Do You Really Need It?
The greatest financial risk for physicians is losing the ability to turn the knowledge and skills you spent a decade learning into a huge pile of money by working in your profession for decades. There are risks that could show up in your life that would prevent you from being able to accomplish this task. One of the most common of these risks is an extended or even permanent disability. Insurance companies estimate that as many as one in seven doctors will be disabled at some point during their career. While many imagine this will occur in a sudden traumatic accident, medical illness is actually a more common cause of disability that prevents a doctor from working. Physician disability is a complicated type of insurance. This post will give you the “must-know” information to secure the best protection and help you avoid common disability insurance mistakes.

TL;DR: Key Takeaways: What Doctors Need to Know About Disability Insurance

  1. The best Disability Insurance policy is an individual, portable, own-occupation, specialty-specific policy.
  2. Purchase disability insurance from an independent agent who can show you policies from all of the major companies. We have a list of recommended Disability Insurance agents used by thousands of white coat investors each year.
  3. Buy as much disability insurance as they are willing to sell you as a resident. Include a future purchase option (sometimes called a “benefit purchase rider” or “future increase option”) and a cost of living disability insurance rider.
  4. As an attending, increase your coverage to cover both your living expenses and retirement savings if you were to work to age 65.
  5. You may get sticker shock, but the reason disability insurance is expensive is that it actually gets used. Slightly more than 1 out of 4 adults will experience a disability before they retire. Physician disability insurance agents often use a figure of 1 out of 7 doctors actually using the disability insurance they purchase. Whatever the true statistic may be, it's certainly high enough to insure against.
Do not take the risk of not having disability insurance.

What Is Disability Insurance?

Disability insurance gives you an income to live on if you become so disabled that you can no longer work.
If you become disabled, a long-term disability insurance policy pays a predetermined amount each month until you either recover from your disability or reach age 65-67. (Note: Policies vary. It is possible to buy a policy that pays to age 70 or even, for a very high premium, until death).

Why Do Physicians Need Disability Insurance?

One out of seven doctors end up having to use their disability insurance. Losing the ability to turn the knowledge and skills you spent a decade learning into a pile of money by working in your profession for decades is one of the most expensive risks that physicians face. Your most valuable asset is your ability to work.

How Does Disability Insurance Work?

Disability insurance is a pretty straightforward proposition. You buy a policy and pay your premium monthly or annually. If you become disabled, you (and your doctor) fill out the paperwork to prove it to the satisfaction of the insurance company and then they pay you the promised monthly benefit until you either recover from your disability or the insurance company meets its contractual obligation to pay the benefit.

Short-Term vs. Long-Term Disability

Disability insurance is most commonly divided into short-term and long-term.

Short-Term Disability

A short-term disability policy generally begins paying just as soon as you get disabled and then pays for a maximum period of 3-24 months. These policies are often provided by an employer as an employee benefit. Short-term disability, while inconvenient financially, is not generally a financial catastrophe for a physician saving for retirement with an emergency fund. As a result, many doctors do not buy short-term disability policies at all.

Long-Term Disability

A long-term disability policy generally does not pay immediately, but only begins to pay after a waiting period ranging from 1-24 months (typically 3 months). Then, the policy will continue to pay you a benefit each month until age 65, 67, or 70, depending on the policy. Note that a 3 month waiting period typically means your first check won't come until the end of the first month after the 3 months, so it's really a 4 month waiting period. Since losing your ability to earn a living for the rest of your life is a financial catastrophe, any doctor who is not financially independent should buy a long-term disability insurance policy.

What Does Disability Insurance Cover?

Disability insurance covers all kinds of disabilities. The best (and unfortunately most expensive) policies cover the widest range of potential disabilities.

The Definition of Disability

The most important feature is the definition of disability. Disability insurance differs from life insurance in numerous ways, but none is more significant than in defining exactly when you become disabled (and when you become enabled again). The broader the definition of disability you get in your policy, the more the policy will cost.
Unlike life insurance, where life and death are pretty black and white, disability has 50 shades of gray. You want a policy with a strong, broad definition of disability that will cover any possible type of disability? That means “true own-occupation, specialty-specific” and no limitations on things such as psychiatric conditions or addictions. This is the main difference between the “Big 5” companies and others. Even among the “Big 5,” there are slight differences. It is OK not to purchase the policy with the very best definition of disability, but the weaker the definition, the bigger the discount you should expect.

Own-Occupation, Specialty-Specific

Probably the most important aspect of the definition for doctors is that it be specific to your occupation. For instance, if I lost my left thumb, there are a number of procedures in emergency medicine that I could no longer do. I would be completely disabled from managing a busy emergency department by myself. But I could probably still go do urgent care work. A specialty-specific definition of disability in my policy would provide me with my full disability payments in addition to the money I make at the urgent care. Sometimes, the “specialty-specific” clause is inherent to the policy, and at other times it is an additional rider (a piece of paper added to the policy for which you pay an additional premium). Either way, you almost surely want to get this in your policy. Here are the various definitions, starting with own occupation and progressing to any occupation.

Own-Occupation Definition

Under this definition, your policy will pay if you cannot work in your occupation/specialty, even if you can and do work in another field and make as much money as you want.
Own-occupation policies cover people based on the occupational duties they are performing at the time of claim. If your policy includes an own-occupation definition of total disability and you are exclusively performing the customary duties of your medical specialty or sub-specialty at the time of the claim, the policy will cover you when unable to perform your specialty or sub-specialty. If you have transitioned into a different role or expanded into a new career path that requires much less direct patient contact or procedural duties, you may no longer be considered totally disabled when unable to work in your specialty or sub-specialty. This is because your “occupation(s)” involves additional material and substantial duties, no longer limited to the performance of your medical specialty or sub-specialty. In these instances, you may be considered partially disabled or not disabled at all, depending on the exact circumstances.

Transitional Own-Occupation

Your policy will pay if you cannot work in your occupation/specialty, even if you can and do work in another field. But if you exceed your previous income while you now work in another field, your monthly benefit from the policy would likely be lowered.

Modified Own-Occupation

Your policy will only pay if you can't work in your occupation/specialty AND if you are not working in another field. This definition is also sometimes called “Own-Occupation, Not Engaged” or “Own-Occupation, Not Working.”

Any-Occupation

Your policy will only pay if you cannot work in any occupation based on education, training or experience. Note that some policies are own-occupation for a couple of years and then transition to any-occupation.
One company out there (Northwestern Mutual) sells a policy with a definition that they claim is BETTER than own-occupation. They call it Medical Own-Occupation, but in reality, it is just a form of modified own-occupation. Learn more about the NML Medical Own-Occupation Definition.

Do You Really Need an Own-Occupation, Specialty-Specific Policy?

Some non-procedural physicians argue that they might not need a true own-occupation policy. They reason that if they are so disabled that they cannot practice their specialty, they probably cannot do anything else. So, they accept a less broad definition of disability to save some dollars on the premium. If you choose to do this, make sure you understand the exact circumstances under which your policy will and will not pay out.

Mental Disorders/Substance Abuse

Many policies will only cover mental illness or substance abuse-related disabilities for a period of two years. I know an attorney who couldn't practice law after developing bipolar syndrome in his 30s. It took over a decade to get it under control. He had a policy that covered mental illness indefinitely, which prevented financial catastrophe from striking him and his family.
According to the April 2011 issue of Current Psychiatry Magazine, physicians are not immune to depression and have an increased risk of suicide. Additionally, the lack of distinction between a psychiatric diagnosis and impairment stigmatizes physicians and impedes treatment.
You'll need to decide whether this is a risk you're willing to run. If you want mental illness covered like every other illness, you'll be paying more.

Presumptive Total Disability

As you well know, disability can be defined in many shades of gray. In the event of your disability, you can expect a paperwork fight between you, your physician, the disability insurance company, and maybe even your attorney. However, most policies contain a section that defines “presumptive total disability” where you can be assured there won't be much arguing from the insurance company. Even better, the waiting period will be waived and you'll start getting payments right away.
Anything short of that, and you're going to have to get your doctor to certify your disability and get the insurance company to accept it. At times, this can involve visits to multiple specialists and even hiring an attorney. Note that with some companies, presumptive disability does not need to be permanent.

Cosmetic Surgery/Transplant Surgery

Some policies will cover you if your disability is the result of cosmetic surgery or the result of donating a kidney or other body part to someone else. Others will not. Best to read your policy carefully and know what it does and does not cover.

Disability Insurance Exclusions & Limitations

Disability insurance policies generally exclude any medical conditions you have at the time of applying for insurance. For example, if you already have chronic back pain, the policy will not provide a benefit if you are disabled due to a back condition. In addition, if you admit to participating in dangerous activities such as scuba diving, rock climbing, flying, and sky-diving, the policy will likely be issued with a rider that excludes those activities from coverage. Other exclusions may also apply, such as acts of war, normal pregnancy, and foreign travel. Here is a list of common exclusions:
  • War or Act of War (this could probably be interpreted pretty broadly)
  • Active Military Duty (having served, this is pretty stupid since 95%+ of our military folks are never in any kind of serious danger of being hurt by a combatant)
  • Normal Pregnancy (don't want to work because you're eight months pregnant? Don't bother trying to get disability benefits for that)
  • Foreign Travel (varies by policy, but many don't cover you during that European vacation, much less that humanitarian trip to Sudan—read the fine print)
  • Mental/Nervous Disorder (many companies limit benefits to two years, where they might pay for “physical” disorders until you're 65 years old)
  • Medical Exclusions (any medical conditions you have at the time the policy is issued will likely be excluded, meaning if you have heart disease at the time of issuance and it leads to you being disabled five years later, the policy isn't going to pay. Again, apply when you are young and healthy and/or when you haven't had medical problems for several years to minimize this.)

Residual Disability

Residual disability refers to being only partially disabled. This may occur from the initial injury or illness or be part of the process of recovery. You generally need to buy an additional rider to cover this. Read this rider carefully, it can be a bit complicated.
Imagine developing painful lumbar radiculopathy that keeps you from working more than 20 hours a week. This is the part of your policy that will cover that. This rider will also explain how much you get if you are partially disabled. My old policy says it pays the whole benefit (total disability) if I can't earn at least 20% of my “indexed prior monthly earnings,” which is basically the money I earn at my job. It doesn't count my investments, other disability income policies, rent from a rental property, or my nonvocational activities. It doesn't pay anything if my earnings aren't reduced at least 20%. If I am making between 20%-80% of what I made previously, I get the total disability benefit times the ratio of my loss of income for that month divided by my indexed prior monthly earnings. Note that with some companies, the partial disability rider will kick in at 15%.
Some contracts use “or” in the contract and others use “and” in the contracxt. For instance, a stronger policy would trigger the partial disability rider if you had a loss of income or a loss of time or a loss of duty whereas a weaker contract would require loss of income and loss of time and loss of duty where all of those triggers must be met.

Partial Disability vs. Residual Disability

Partial disability and residual disability are generally considered to be the same thing, but there is a technical difference at some companies. For example, at one company, a partial disability rider requires total disability during the elimination period and the residual disability rider does not. With another company, partial refers to the disability, such as one that only affects one part of the body (such as one arm), while residual refers to a decrease in earnings. Either way, the key is to understand how the residual/partial rider works in the policy you actually purchase.

Recovery Benefits

A physician should consider a contract that will continuing paying them a portion of their benefits upon recovery from a disability if their income continues to be down at least 15%-20%. Most carriers will pay a recovery benefit for the benefit period although one only pays for 12 months. This is especially important for practice owners. Think if a dentist were to be disabled for 6 months and then recovers and goes back to their practice. Many of their patients may have gone elsewhere because the dentist sees his patients twice a year. It could take several years to get back to where he/she was at before becoming disabled.

Recommendations for Physicians on Disability Insurance Riders

Here's an easy cheat card to help you know at a glance what we think about all of the various riders available.
https://preview.redd.it/akf6t5iqfn0d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f8b415d0101d729fdfa51bc9147993309147d75

Who Needs Disability Insurance?

Nearly every high-income professional in their first decade or two out of school should own a policy. Your most valuable asset is your ability to work. So, if you do not own a disability insurance policy, you need to go get one, now. If you have an income, it's time to buy a policy, even if money is tight as a resident. The only exception is if you do not rely on your income to live. If you are already financially independent, it's OK not to buy disability insurance. However, even if you are frugal and married to another high earner, you may wish to still have a policy. You could both become disabled, or you could become divorced.

How Much Physician Disability Insurance Do I Need?

As a resident, you typically cannot afford to buy as much as you need, but you should be able to do so even as a brand-new attending. Basically, you need to buy enough disability insurance to cover both your living expenses and your retirement savings if you were to work to age 65 but not your taxes. Physician disability insurance payouts are generally tax-free since they are usually paid with post-tax dollars.
Note that how much you need has little to do with your income and everything to do with what you spend. The less you spend, the less insurance you need to buy. Insurance agents would love to sell you the largest possible policy (which usually works out to be about 2/3 of your gross income, but it is possible to combine two companies to get even more), so you'll need to decide how much you need on your own. Resident physicians typically buy a $5,000 per month benefit and attending physicians typically buy a benefit in the $10,000-$15,000 per month range, but there are plenty of docs who buy both more and less. If your plan in the event of disability is to rely on the income of your spouse, you may not need disability insurance at all.

Average Cost of Disability Insurance for Physicians

Unlike cheaper insurance policies like term life and umbrella policies, physician disability insurance is expensive, although not quite as expensive as your malpractice insurance. The reason it costs so much is it actually gets used. The likelihood of you acquiring a long-term disability during your working years is approximately seven times as high as your risk of dying in those years. A typical policy bought on a healthy doc in their 20s or 30s will cost something between 2%-6% of the benefit. If your monthly benefit is $10,000, expect to spend $200-$600 per month for that. Perhaps the sticker shock you get upon being quoted prices will motivate you to reach financial independence as soon as possible so you can cancel the policy.

Graded vs. Level Premiums

One way to save money on your policy is to get graded premiums. Not all policies offer this feature, but those that do will charge you less in the first few years and more in later years. Level premium policies charge you the same amount in premium every year. A graded premium policy accounts for the fact that you become more likely to become disabled as you go through life. However, it can be very beneficial to you because your need for insurance actually falls continually throughout your career as your build your retirement nest egg.
Once you become financially independent, you can drop the insurance completely. This is a good idea since the total benefits a policy could potentially pay are also dropping throughout your life (since the policy will generally only pay until you are in your mid- to late-60s). Many white coat investors who are great savers hit financial independence by mid-career. If you are one of those, you are likely to come out ahead using graded premiums instead of level premiums.

What Disability Insurance Discounts Are Available for Doctors?

Like other types of insurance, disability insurance is sold by agents who are paid commissions by the insurance companies to sell their products. It is a very competitive business. The insurance companies want agents, especially the independent agents you should be buying from, to preferentially sell their products. To incentivize the agents, they offer discounts that are only available through certain agents. Experienced, high-volume agents can often provide you with the same policy at a cheaper rate than a newer, lower-volume agent. Thus, it pays to use an experienced agent and shop around with two or three of them. Nearly every doctor should qualify for some type of discount on their policy—10%-30% premium discounts are not unusual. Types of discounts include:
  • Unisex discounts
  • Student/Resident/Fellow discounts
  • Multi-life institution discounts
  • Guaranteed Standard Issue (GSI) institution discounts
  • Association discounts
Learn more about physician disability insurance discounts.

How Do I Buy Disability Insurance?

The key to physician disability insurance is the independent agent. The agent is going to be paid a great commission by the insurance company no matter which policy you choose. Assuming policies with similar benefits, the commission isn't going to be all that different. Plus, these agents get plenty of business and none of them are starving, so they have little incentive to sell you an inferior policy for a slightly higher commission. Their reputation is worth far more than a few extra dollars in commission. Since you are (indirectly) paying the agent a very nice commission, don't feel bad about using their time and expertise to fully understand this complicated product.
For most doctors, this is a purchase that is only done once or twice in their life. Have the agent quote you different physician disability policies from each of the “Big 5” companies and show you the strengths and weaknesses of each. If you have a policy from work or your professional association, bring it in with you and have it included in the comparison. Then, you can know you made an educated decision and you can buy it and forget about it. Also, be sure to ask for a discount. The vast majority of doctors will qualify for a 5%-30% association or employer-related discount, and a top-notch agent will help you get that.

What Type of Disability Insurance Should I Buy?

There are two main types of disability policies: individual policies and group policies. As a general rule, individual policies have stronger definitions of disability. Many group policies are not own-occupation policies. Individual policies are also portable, in that you can change jobs and take them with you.

Individual Disability Policy

There are a number of benefits of an individual policy. The main one is that you are in control of all the details. You get to choose how much insurance you want to pay for. You get to choose which of the bells and whistles you are going to pay for. The policy is also “portable,” meaning you still have it if you change employers (or if your employer just decides to change the policy). As a general rule, the policy is also “stronger,” meaning it is more likely to actually pay you if you get disabled.

Group Disability Policy

A group policy provided by your employer is usually not portable, although sometimes you are allowed to take over the entire premium and take it with you. Group policies also frequently have premiums that increase every year or every five years, whereas an individual policy usually has level premiums. Group policies paid for by your employer may also pay a taxable benefit, rather than the tax-free benefit provided by an individual policy. Aside from the lower cost, the main benefit of a group policy is that it may be easier to qualify for. It may not require any sort of medical exam or blood work, and it may not ask any pesky questions about your medical conditions and dangerous hobbies such as rock climbing, skydiving, scuba diving, or flying.

How to Compare Disability Insurance Policies

The most important feature is the definition of disability. You want a policy with a strong, broad definition of disability that will cover any possible type of disability. That usually means “own-occupation, specialty-specific” and no limitations on things such as psychiatric conditions or addictions. This is the main difference between the “Big 5” companies and others.
Since disability is complicated, disability insurance policies are complicated. There are dozens of differences from one policy to another, making them difficult to compare. Use your independent agent for recommendations on what matters most. Just for an example, take a look at this chart of all the differences you could see between one policy and another.

When to Buy Disability Insurance?

You should buy disability insurance just before you become disabled. Since you don't know when that time could be, earlier is generally better. However, disability insurance is also expensive, and when you are young and poor, you have lots of other great uses for your money. A good compromise is to buy a small policy as you enter residency and then upgrade to a more robust disability insurance plan just before leaving residency. The younger you are, the healthier you are, and the fewer dangerous hobbies you engage in, the cheaper your premiums will be for the same benefit.

Best Disability Insurance for Physicians

I keep a list of those I consider the best disability insurance agents in the country. Save yourself the work of finding a good one you can trust and use the same agents that have been used by thousands of WCI readers in the past. You do not need someone local that you can sit down across the table from. It is better to have someone who has sold policies to hundreds of docs this year working with you by phone, Skype, Zoom, and email than someone you can sit down with who has only sold four policies. In addition, if there is some issue with one of these agents, I can usually help you resolve it quickly.
Information in this space rapidly changes. While we try to keep The White Coat Investor website as up-to-date as possible, our recommended agents are going to be our best source for updated information. I cannot emphasize how strongly I suggest you use them, whether buying your first policy or simply reviewing what you already have.
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2024.05.15 21:48 offairarcade What to do in San Jose: 5/15 thru 5/19

Hey hey! Here are some fun things that are happening around town this week:

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Thanks so much for reading!

You can get this entire post emailed to you each week in my newsletter.

But hold on, aren’t there other newsletters in San Jose???

Yep! And those are all super groovy! My newsletter is primarily a place for me to compile a curated list of things happening all over town, not just in the downtown spaces. There are small, DIY shows almost every day, and they generally don’t have a budget or the know how to promote themselves on platforms where you’re going to see. I’m pretty closely connected with a lot of the folks who organize these events (and have even helped organize many myself!) I occasionally include interviews with locals, newsy bits, and other things as they pop into my brain. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope it helped you find something to do this week. 🙂
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2024.05.15 21:40 Such_Dragonfly_4878 AITAH?

I broke up recently and the major reason was him being friends with his ex. He wanted to be in touch with his ex and I was very uncomfortable, I had a past where I was cheated on and when he wanted to meet and stay in touch with her I just felt extremely uncomfortable. It was a strange physical reaction of discomfort, I panicked so badly that he got weirded out. I was okay until I heard there was some back massage involved. To them it was casual, but I couldn't be okay with him talking to her after that. He insisted that he cannot let me control who he sees or talks to. I knew many people are okay with it so I tried for him. I tried to change my POV for 3 years but that discomfort never went away. I communicated with my him multiple times but it was a deal breaker for him and now my insecurity/discomfort and a small resentment that he couldn't just do that much for me, caused a lot of fights. Now it's all over. God knows what's wrong with me! I wonder if this feeling will ever go away. Is it abnormal to be uncomfortable? They eventually started getting emotionally intimate a little and I got to know that by checking his texts because my insecurity/intuition felt like they lack boundary and my bf told me it was because of my insecurities that he started talking and sharing a lot of things with her. I still can't get over this and wonder was anyone wrong or it's mere incompatibility? There were other reasons to, but i couldn't get to accept this and he also stood by his wish. How do I get over the feeling that he choose his ex over me? I stood by him always, and have felt he never stood by me when I needed him the most. Also, the girl seemed nice but my guts said otherwise. But I have been questioned so much, I'm left confused. Who meets and asks an ex bf to give back massage?!! Who has no friend in life other than an ex bf who had left them for someone else long back? I never talk to any ex and even if they contact me, i am more considerate of not making their current partner uncomfortable. She knew I was uncomfortable but kept texting and seeking emotional support of my bf (ex) even after having a husband. I'm just sad and I miss my guy. Sorry for the long rant, and thanks for reading.may be i should have not been immature at this age, but I feel what I feel. Please don't comment if u wanna be plain mean.
Tldr: i couldn't be comfortable with my bf (ex) talking to his ex.
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2024.05.15 21:14 anitagingerd46 Take this post with a grain of salt

Recently found out my boyfriend started paying cam girls for one on one sessions to satisy his very specific kink.
I am feeling like paying for one on one sessions is cheating, you’re having “sex” with someone even if it is online. He said he does not see it as cheating and wouldn’t mind if I did it.
Again - with a grain of salt and hearing me out that I know this is entirely emotional immature and ridiculous of me to even say - but in my anger I just want to be like ok well I think you cheated so let me go do something that you think is cheating (he said me messaging guys IRL on Facebook would be,or meet ups IRL) and let’s see how you feel about it.
Ugh, I’m just annoyed. For context I do this specific kink with him all the time. We used to have sex every day, multiple times a day and do this together. Now he says he’s bored and needs more. Makes me feel insecure and inadequate. It makes me want to do it with him less… even though I love doing it. Just feels like it’s hard to be open and vulnerable now.
Thoughts? Lay in to me if you need to I’m totally open to new perspectives.
*edit: I am NOT actually going to cheat or anything of that nature I know that wouldn’t help or change anything. Just expressing angry and stupid thoughts to get it out
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2024.05.15 20:58 ed3nprison I need to vent.

Spoilers- I think. I am at the point in the show where I’m like “enough already” to every time Norma lets her spoiled little son do and have whatever he wants. I’m at the point where he just got discharged from pineview for whining to his mommy about how he missed home. She couldn’t do one thing. She couldn’t just tell him no once if it meant that he would be getting the help he needed. Then, she is so worried that he finds out about Alex. Like, come on. There is something wrong there if you can’t let your son know you’re simply seeing somebody. They sleep in the same bed for fux sake. She won’t allow herself any happiness, with or without Alex just because of her obsessive son. Driving me crazy at this point. I really hate Norman. I don’t like norma much but I hate Norman more. It’s his her fault he is that way, yeah. I just have so much resentment towards entitlement and spoiled kids lol. Especially ones who want to have sex with their mother.
I think besides being an overbearing mother, Norma is a decent person. She has her reasons for being overbearing, although they’re not an excuse. But Norman ? He will not allow her any happiness unless it is because of him. She was fine that Norman had his little girlfriends so she’s not completely overbearing. I just wish someone in this show would actually call them out on their obsessions with each other and how unhealthy their relationship is. Dylan tried to kind of. Once. But he was stepping on egg shells around Norma and sugar coating his words about them sleeping in the same bed.
There is something really wrong with your son if he gets mad at you for having a boyfriend and for having sex with him, lady. Your son shouldn’t even be concerned with your private life like that. He accuses her of having sex with Alex like she’s cheating on Norman with him or something, that’s what he sounds like.
I just wanted him to stay at the psychiatric facility lol
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2024.05.15 20:52 machepes12 I purchased used tools !!

I recently was looking at facebook marketplace place for some used tools. Im not a mechanic nor an expert when it comes to cars, but i like to perform oil changes and work on my cars from time to time.
With that being said i was looking for some tools in the market place, when i came across with an ad of a lady selling a box full with tools. The pics were not clear so i decided to go where she lives and inspect the tools and box personally, since she was only a few miles away. Once i got there I noticed the tool box was made by snap on, and all the tools inside were also made by snap on, everything or almost everything was from snap on drills, wrenches, sockets and pliers. If you have some knowledge about tools, you might know snap on is very expensive. Anyway just the snap on tool box was around 5k not to mention all the tools on the box. My estimate is that the box with tools is worth around 15k all together.
Apparently she was selling it bc she caught the boyfriend-husband cheating and she was getting rid off his things. She was going thru a divorce. So she sold me the box full of tools for only $500 bucks. That was about 3 weeks ago, just yesterday she contacted me and requested, if i could sell her the tools and box back, because the husband went to pick up his things and got extremely mad when he find put she sold the tools. Even the police was called when he find out she sold the tools. Apparently she got into a huge fight with him,
Now my question is should I return the box and tools that i purchased from her or just ignore her and keep it. At this point i haven’t reply to her just yet. Being thinking about it. I am the ****** if i decide to keep them tools and box ? Or should I return them ? What would you guys do !!
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2024.05.15 19:50 Flagg1991 Children of the Night (Part 3)

An hour after getting back from the Mason apartment, Bruce Kenner had the distinct misfortune of meeting Bertha Henderson.
A plump, gaudy woman with wrinkles and sun beaten skin only an alligator could love, Bertha Henderson wore bright red lipstick, bright red rouge, and way too much mascara. Her tangled hair was a dull red color and her clothes - pink pants and a white floral top - stretched tight across her bulbous frame. She looked like the kind of woman who lived in a trailer with velvet pictures of Elvis on the wall and pink flamingos in the front yard.
She acted like one too.
From the moment she stormed into his office, she hadn’t shut up once. She scolded, chided, accused, and badgered, sometimes even wagging one fat finger in his face like he was a naughty little boy. Ten minutes into the dressing down and Bruce was beginning to fantasize about police brutality.
It took him another ten minutes to find out what the hell she even wanted.
“It’s my granddaughter,” she shot back, “she’s missing in your town.”
My town? Lady, this is barely my office. I share it with three other people.
“Well, if you’ll calm down, maybe I can help.”
Jesus Christ was that the wrong thing to say. She hit the roof and didn’t come down again until Bruce was this close to arresting her for assault on a police officer. “Young man, I do not appreciate the way you’re talking to me. My tax dollars are the only reason you have a job. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be working at a car wash.”
At least I wouldn’t have to deal with you.
Bruce took a deep breath and held his tongue in check. “How can I help you?” he asked.
“I told you, my granddaughter is missing. If you listened to me, you’d know this already.”
Bertha produced a picture and slid it across the desk. Bruce studied it. A girl, roughly sixteen with black hair, blue eyes, and dimples smiled back at him. “She;’s with that Rossi man, I just know it,” she said bitterly.
“Who?” Bruce asked.
Rolling her eyes like he was stupid, the old woman told him the story. Jessie - the dimple faced girl - had the rotten luck of having to live with Grandma Bertha after her parents went to jail on drug charges. They lived in Sand Lake, a little town in the mountains outside Albany, where Bertha was no doubt loved and admired by all. One day, Jessie, who her grandmother lovingly described as “A little troublemaker”, ran off. Bruce didn’t blame her. He’d known Bertha for half an hour and he wanted to run off. Bertha did some snooping on Jessie’s laptop and found that the “little whore” had been chatting with an older man, Joe Rossi. Rossi, or so Facebook said, lived in Albany and worked at Club Vlad.
“I want him arrested for pedophilia,” Bertha said and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. “He’s a dog just like all men. She’s probably pregnant already. Another mouth I have to feed.”
Behind the old battle ax, Vanessa appeared in the doorway and lifted her brows as if to say What a piece of work. Knowing her, she’d probably been standing just out of sight this whole time with McKenny, the elderly evidence clerk, and snickering into her hand like a little girl. LOL she called him young man.
Bertha noticed him looking over her shoulder and started to turn. Vanessa’s face went white and she ducked out of the way, narrowly avoiding detection. “I’m glad you think this is funny,” Bertha said to Bruce. “Meanwhile, if I don’t get Jessie back, the state’s going to stop sending me my checks. I need that income. I can’t work, you know. I have gout.”
Too bad being an asshole isn’t a job, you’d be world-famous
“I’ll go talk to him,” Bruce said.
“I want more than talk, young man, I want action.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
When Bertha finally decided to waddle off and ruin someone else’s day, Vanessa came in and sat in the chair the old woman had so recently occupied. “Oh, my God,” she said, “that was intense. I was this close to radioing in a 1015.”
1015 was code for officer down.
“Funny,” Bruce said without a trace of humor. He had kids going missing, a dead guy someone moved around like a goddamn Barbie doll, and now this. What next, hemorrhoids?
“What do you think? Code 1 or code 2?”
Code 1 meant top priority. Code 2 meant not a top priority. Bruce thought for a moment. It didn’t sound like Jessie Henderson was in danger. It sounded like she met a guy - granted, one too old for her - and decided to hide out with him from her psycho grandma. Maybe it could be something more, but he had a gut feeling that it wasn’t…and his gut feelings were usually right. “2,” he finally said. “I got shit to do.”
By shit, he meant “Talk to the families of those missing boys again.” He’d been interviewing them for two days looking for clues, but there was nothing. It’s like they just vanished. Bruce didn’t like this. He didn’t like it at all.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Vanessa said and slapped the desk.
When she was gone, Bruce sighed.
Never a dull moment, he thought.
***
Ed Harris - no relation to the Hollywood actor - had been the medical examiner for the City of Albany since 2002, and in all that time, he had never seen anything quite like this.
It was Wednesday evening and Ed was locked away in the cold, sterile space beneath the city offices that comprised his domain. With its puke green tiles, harsh lights, and cloying smells of disinfectant, the .coroner's office creeped most people out, but not Ed. He was at home here, as comfortable surrounded by toe-tagged bodies as a cactus was surrounded by desert. A thin man in his fifties with curly, steel gray hair thinning in the middle, he wore a white smock, blood stained over his clothes that made him look like a butcher instead of a low level government functionary. He had a dark and dry sense of humor, but then again, so do all people who play with dead bodies for fun and profit.
The coroner’s office was a vast, utilitarian vault segmented into multiple different rooms. Here, where the magic happened, three stainless steel tables stood in a row; a bank of refrigerated drawers kept watch, making sure nothing funny happened. One of the cold fluorescent lights overhead flickered with a hum of electricity, and water dripped rhythmically from a faucet. It was a cold, eerie place, but to Ed, it was home.
On most nights, only one of the tables was occupied, but tonight, two were. On one lay an old lady who died of what appeared to be cyanide poisoning. On the other was Dominick Mason.
Naked save for a white cloth draped over his groin to protect his dignity, Dom was the most corpsy corpse you’d ever hope to see. In fact, if you looked up dead guy in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of him. His body was pale and sunken, one side covered in purple splotches where his blood had pooled, and his eyes were closed. His abdomen was slightly distended with the expected build up of gas, and his flesh stuck fast to the bones beneath. In other words, he was text book. A normal corpse.
Mostly normal.
As men of his trade are wont to do when strange bodies mysteriously appear, Ed had opened Dom up, making a Y shaped incision from his neck to his groin. He hummed to himself as he did so, his hands wielding his sharp and shiny tools with the deft assuredness of a seasoned surgeon. Done cutting, he dipped his gloved hands into the cavity and started removing organs. A spleen here, a liver there, nothing Dom would miss. When he got to the heart, however, he stopped.
There was something…off…about it. At first glance, it was black and withered like an oversized raisin. An odd and putrid odor emanated from it and though he was familiar with the various smells and stenches the human body produced after death, this wasn’t one of them. Try as he might, he couldn’t place it, couldn’t even compare it to anything. Plucking a magnifying glass from the metal cart next to the table, he peeled back part of Dom’s chest and examined the heart closer.
That’s when things got really weird.
Dominick Mason’s heart was, indeed, shriveled, but it was not black. Instead, it was almost entirely covered by an interlacing crisscross of what appeared to be black mold. Here and there, Ed could glimpse flashes of the heart beneath: It was wrinkled and a sickly gray color. “What is this?” Ed asked himself at length. He grabbed a pair of tweezers from the tray and carefully, very carefully, attempted to remove a piece of the mold for analysis. The moment the cold metal tips touched the heart, it gave a violent spasm that sent Ed falling back with a shocked gasp, the tweezers falling from his hand and clinking to the tiled floor.
The heart began to pulse like an alien egg sac, slowly at first, then more rapidly. For a moment, Ed was frozen in place, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. Once you die, your heart ceases beating. That’s that. Only living hearts beat, and Dominick Mason was certainly dead. He was dead from the moment Ed first laid eyes on him earlier that day and he was dead now. Yet there was his heart, beating anyway.
It could be a muscle spasm. They usually aren’t that violent and consistent, but dead bodies sometimes do strange things. As he watched the blackened muscle expanding and contracting, however, Ed had the most eerie feeling. He went to rub the back of his neck, realized he was still wearing blood soaked gloves, and stripped them off. He was spooking himself out; he needed a break and a hot cup of coffee. He’d come back fresh and start over again.
With that mold.
Could you really blame him for being creeped out? That stuff wasn’t normal. He’d never seen anything like that before, not even in textbooks. Dom was scrawny and didn’t get enough vitamins in life, but overall, he was healthy; that mold…or whatever it was…had no business being there.
Going over to the coffee pot, which stood in the same room to save travel time, Ed grabbed a styrofoam cup. When he was done here, he planned to go home and -
A terrible, metallic clatter rang out, and Ed jumped. He turned around, and when he saw Dominick Mason standing next to the table, hunched slightly over and staring at him, an electric burst of fright shot up his spine and exploded in his brain, so strong it made the edges turn gray. Pale, hands hooked into talons, and the flaps of his chest hanging open to reveal the cavity beneath, Dominick Mason looked for all the world like a boy who’d been caught sneaking out to meet his girlfriend. A weak, involuntary, “Oh, God,” slipped from Ed’s trembling lips, and the spell was broken. Dom came alive and ran toward the door leading out to the parking lot. He slammed through it, and the sound of it crashing open and then falling closed again echoed through the empty chamber.
Shaking, panting for air, and soaked in piss, Ed sank to the floor in a sitting position, his eyes wide and staring like those of a soldier returning damaged from the front.
It was a long time before he composed himself enough to call the police.
***
Dazed and caught in a nightmarish twilight realm where nothing made sense, Dominick Mason limped painfully down the sidewalk, a stranger lost in a strange land filled with danger and hostile creatures. Barefoot and shrouded in a white sheet, he trembled with cold and struggled to ignore the dark, threatening shapes looming from the fog in his brain, shapes that would turn into unspeakable truths if he let them.
Passersby openly stared at him, their expressions either morbidly curious, disgusted, or alarmed. A man put his arm protectively around his girlfriend; a woman pulled her little boy to her breast, and another man sneered at him, his nose crinkling. Dom, his glazed eyes narrowed against the harsh glare of the many street lamps, headlights, and storefronts, lumbered headlong toward nowhere, his fear growing until he was shambling. He imagined he could hear every cough, every whisper; smell the odor of every unwashed body. Each car horn was deafening, every whiff of ass or armpits sent his stomach churning. The rustle of a passing pedestrian’s jacket jammed into his ears like icepicks, and the approaching globes of LED headlamps burned his eyes. He gritted his teeth and groaned against the pain.
The dense mist wrapping his brain made it hard to think. Like a frightened animal, he made his way on instinct alone. Home. He needed to get home. Out here, on the street, he was exposed. At home, locked away in his small apartment, he would be safe.
A car passed in the street, bass heavy rap music blaring from its open windows, and Dom’s brain exploded with agony. He threw himself against a street sign and held on for dear life, his legs weak. Dizziness overwhelmed him, and he almost went down. He was also cold.
So, so cold.
People around him quickened their step; they never took their eyes off him, as though he were a venomous snake that would strike at any moment. He needed to get away from them. They were going to hurt him; people always hurt him.
Pushing away from the sign, he began to hobble once more toward home, wherever home was. He looked over his shoulder several times as he made his way down Central Avenue, and each time, he saw that no one was following him as he had feared.
No one, that is, except for the man in sunglasses.
Tall and lank with curly hair, he wore dark Aviators and a leather motorcycle jacket over a button up shirt. His hands were thrust deep into his pockets and his face showed no expression. He was always there, always a few steps closer. Outside Capital Fried Chicken, a group of people openly stared at him, He heard their whispers as he passed. What’s wrong with him? Dude’s straight tweakin. And the one that struck him the most. That guy looks dead.
Dom hobbled faster, as if to outrun the realization that he was, in fact, dead. The man in sunglasses was closer now, his footsteps so loud that Dom winced. He turned around, and the man was impossibly in front of him. Dom ran into him and bounced backward, going ass over tea kettle and landing on the former. They were in front of a church on a darkened corner, the lights here either burned out or shot out - you could never tell in Albany. Even though it was dark, Dom could see everything with crystal clarity. Dom tried to scurry away, but he was too weak to escape. Right there and then, he decided to give up. Come what may, he just wanted this nightmare to be over.
The man stared down at him, emotionless, unspeaking.
Dom squirmed.
“You’re real lucky I came along,” the man said. His tone was flat, even.
Dead.
“Get up,” he said, “I’ll take you home.”
Home?
Yes.
Dom wanted to go home.
The man helped him up, and Dom followed him into the night.
***
Bruce Kenner stood in the middle of the medical examiner’s office at half past nine that evening with his hands on his hips and stared doubtfully down at Ed Harris. The lonely cavern was alive with activity as cops went over everything, all of them looking either bemused or a mused. Bruce was neither. He’d been at home, sitting in his chair and having a beer in front of AEW Dynamite when Vanessa called. “You might wanna get down here,” she said, sounding confused, “something really strange is going on.”
Ed Harris - no relation to that one guy - sat in a straight back chair beside his cluttered desk and gripped a styrofoam cup of coffee in both hands, putting Bruce - for some reason - in mind of a monkey. When Bruce came in, the old man was white as a sheet and shook like a leaf. In the last half hour, little had changed.
“Tell me again,” Bruce said.
He and Ed were pretty good friends. He knew that Ed knew standard police procedure. Cops don’t ask you to repeat your story a thousand times over because they’re forgetful fucks, they do it because telling it again and again helps to jog loose details that you might have forgotten. Ed, therefore, did not protest. “I turned my back,” he said and chopped the chair like Jackie Chan, “and I heard the noise.”
His voice was thick, unsteady, and halting. He sounded as squirrely as he looked…and he looked pretty damn squirrelly right now.
“I turned around…and he was looking at me. He was standing there and he was looking at me.”
This was the fourth time he’d had Ed go through the story, and nothing had changed. Bruce felt something stirring deep inside his gut. It was either disquiet…or he had to fart. He opened his mouth to speak, but sighed.
“You don’t believe me,” Ed said.
“I dunno, Ed. Dead bodies don’t just get up and walk away.”
Ed flashed. “I know that, goddamn it, but this one did.”
Bruce glanced at Vanessa. She looked uncomfortable.
“Are you sure he was dead?” Bruce asked.
Ed opened his mouth, closed it again, and said, “I did the autopsy.” His voice broke on the last word, and he sounded almost like he was pleading. “His fucking liver’s on the floor. He stepped on it. The man has nothing in him. I-I’m telling you, there’s no way he’s alive.”
During the autopsy, Ed had sat Dominick Mason’s organs on the little tray table where he kept his pointy things. Mason knocked it over while getting up. Indeed, there were human organs on the floor, and one of them did look kind of squished. Bare, bloody footprints led to the exit door, up a set of concrete steps, and then disappeared in the alley behind the office.
“You said you left his heart,” Bruce said.
“And his brain,” Vanessa helpfully added.
Ed pinched the bridge of his nose like a put upon professor dealing with two particularly stupid students. “Even with his heart and his brain, he’s dead. You saw the livor mortis. He was cold, he was stiff. His heart wasn’t beating, he wasn’t breathing. He was in one of those drawers for nine hours, not breathing, no blood flow - it’s impossible. It’s just…it’s impossible. I don’t care what you think, he was dead. And even if somehow he wasn’t, I cut out almost everything. I opened his stomach, I took his spleen - you don’t just get up from that. You don’t walk away from that, much less run.”
Bruce chewed the inside of his bottom lip because he didn’t have a Twix. He didn’t look like the smartest man in the world…and he wasn’t…but he knew a dead body when he saw one, and the body they took out of Dominick Mason’s apartment was D.E.A.D. And like Ed said, even if by some freak fluke of nature he wasn’t, he couldn’t just get up and go about his day with no liver, spleen, or kidneys. Hell, Bruce had his gallbladder out and he couldn’t even walk away from that.
“You said there was something funny about his heart,” Vanessa said.
Ed finished off his coffee. “Yeah. It was…moldy. I-I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Is it possible that…has something to do with it?”
“Unless the rules of biology have changed overnight, no,” Ed stated.
While Ed poured himself another cup of Joe, spilling some because he was still shaking, Vanessa took Bruce aside. “So what do you think?” she asked. “Is he telling the truth?”
For that, Bruce did not have an immediate answer. All else aside, he was a cop. He followed the evidence - and his gut instinct - wherever it led him. Ed was a sober man - he was not a drunk, insane, or stupid - and no man on earth could fake the look of trauma in his eyes. Bruce’s eyes went to the bloody footprints leading away from the exam table and his stomach roiled. It might be cliched, but there had to be a rational explanation. “Yeah,” he finally said. “The kid got up like he said, but there’s no way he was dead. Maybe…I dunno, he had a surge of adrenaline or something. I’m not a doctor.”
“That’ll only get him so far,” Vanessa said. “We’ll probably find him on the street somewhere.”
He went back to the purple splotches on Dom’s face, to his cold stiffness. There’s no way he was dead?
Bruce was confused, and he hated being confused.
“I dunno,” he said, “maybe.”
But he had the gnawing feeling that they wouldn’t. They would never find him…and Bruce would be confused forever.
Goddamn it, Mason, he thought, where are you?
submitted by Flagg1991 to LetsReadOfficial [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:39 RestlessDreamer32 How to date again after having my reputation destroyed?

I'm honestly at a loss of what to do. Until half a year ago I was engaged and had everything I never thought I would have until she decided she was no longer happy. It's been more than a few years since I was in the dating market, but things have drastically changed for me due to a horrible incident that occurred a while back. A bit of backstory, and I'll included a TlDr at the end.
Several years back there was a hobby group I used to regularly attend, and one day this woman who had only started showing up recently took an interest in me. I'd just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship a few months before that, so when she made a move on me, I took her up on it to see where things would go. I wasn't use to a woman actually making the first move, so I took it as a good sign. We saw each other for the next few weeks and in that time we had gotten physical a few times, with her making the first move on that as well. Fast forward to the end of our time together when I found out she had a boyfriend the entire time and was cheating on him with me. I broke it off with her because I didn't want to be "the other guy" to some poor sap, and she wasn't pleased with me for finding out. Her boyfriend had nearly caught her cheating, so what did she do? She threw me under the bus and told him I was "just some creep who wouldn't leave her alone". Hilarious, because I had chat logs that showed nothing but positive interactions between us and call logs showing we would spend several hours a week on the phone together. I block her on everything and move on with my life.
Fast forward several years later, I'm engaged and in a happy relationship, and a gal pal of mine DM's me to tell me she saw a post about me in a group on FB. She sent me live updates on the post as well. I guess these groups called "Are We Dating The Same Guy" popped up seemingly everywhere, and our local group had nearly 50,000 local women in it at that time. Considering I live in what's generally called a "small city", this was extremely concerning. The poster was the woman from the hobby shop, and she uploaded my full name and multiple photos of me. In the post she said that I "violently rxped" her, was a "woman beater", and called me a "dangerous predator". I felt sick to my stomach. Worse than that, at least 15 different women were commenting on the post verifying it was "all true". Only 1 woman tried to defend me, a woman I used to work with, and within minutes her comments were deleted and she was banned from the group. As for all the other women commenting, half of them were women I hadn't seen since literally high school and never spoke to because I was a quiet nerdy kid who stuck to his friends. One of them even said she had "first hand experience", but I had never even spoken one word to her in my life. The other women commenting, I didn't recognize their names or faces at all and was certain I'd never met or spoken to any of them. Comments ranged from saying things like I "stalked them home", "assaulted them at a club" (I don't drink or go to bars), and one even said that I "forcefully penetrated her" in her own home, despite not even knowing who she is.
I spent that entire day having a panic attack and was on the phone with the mental health crisis line for a good while. When I went to work the next day, female co-workers who were normally friendly and cheerful towards me looked at me with disgust or walked in the other direction when they saw me coming. I went home early that day after taking another panic attack in the bathroom. Later that night I had a missed phone call from our local police. Called back, hoping it was just a prank call, but it wasn't. An officer actually wanted to speak with me about some grave accusations that were brought to him. It turns out the hobby shop woman and other she knew collectively called in "anonymous tips" about me, but in those tips I wasn't a "violent rxpist". Instead, these tips included where I worked and told the police I was "dangerous to children". I remember nearly passing out on the phone from panicking again. Turns out the officer I was spoking to already suspected it was BS, because these groups were generating hundreds of "anonymous tips" a day for them. The investigation was closed and branded as "malicious gossip" and I never heard from the police again.
Despite that, my reputation was ruined forever. My partner at the time actually had my back and was a huge pillar of support, but I was still a wreck. I became a recluse and started going to therapy every couple of weeks. In our local group, old posts of guys are "bumped" all the time whenever a guy is found on a dating site or women remember he exists. The group has nearly doubled in size since then too. Posts aren't even about dangerous people, but I'll see posts all the time like "This guy just matched with me and hasn't messaged me yet, any tea??" and even random creep shots of guys at the gym saying things like "This guy is super cute, any tea or red flags??" I see nothing to do with "safety" and actual dangerous dudes I've known over the years haven't appeared there at all. Old classmate kidnapped and nearly beat his partner to death? No post. Dude admits to mxlesting his partners toddler? No post. Guy doesn't buy a gal a gift after a date? He's a monster and must be posted about. It was easy enough to get in there with a dummy account to make sure I wasn't caught off guard again.
---Fast forward to today. I unfortunately find myself single when I never thought I would be again. I'm still somewhat of a recluse, don't keep any photos of my name on social media, nor do I use my real name. I've disappeared as much as possible. I'm still terrified that someone there will remember I exist and post about me again, as I see happen to other men daily. Dating websites are just asking for trouble, as most posts in this group are screenshots of guys profiles. If I dare take a photo of myself and put it in a dating website, odds are very good I'd be posted and would have to suffer through the same ordeal yet again. I can't afford (nor could I back then) the several thousands of dollars to take someone to court for slandelibel, and Facebook says these posts aren't against their "community standards". Even then, that's like cutting a single head off of a hydra knowing that more will take it's place. Meeting people IRL just doesn't happen anymore and it's frowned upon to try to meet women in public settings as opposed to online dating where they can screen everyone beforehand. Online dating is no longer safe for me. How am I to ever be with someone again if OLD is off the table and I have a destroyed reputation?
**TlDr: Woman cheated on boyfriend with me several years ago and didn't like me finding out. Woman in question decides to publicly slander me to nearly 50,000 local women several years later. Slander works and my reputation has been destroyed and people think I'm some kind of monster. I delete all presence of my name and face online that I can, but now that I'm single again, I have no idea how to ever date again with OLD being off the table and having a tarnished reputation.**
submitted by RestlessDreamer32 to SupportForTheAccused [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 19:13 frog_hospital Fusebox & Crunch

(wrote this review for another website (backloggd if you're curious! it's like letterboxd for games it's great) but thought i'd post it here too, so people that actually play the game can see it too lol)
this season ended today. the next season starts in three weeks.
this is what crunch looks like.
& this environment of extreme crunch becomes more clear with every passing year through the games that are produced out of it.
this season had so much potential. the character designs are some of the best we've had. some of the dialogue is actually really well written, especially in regards to the clap backs your character is able to give to people giving her sass. steamy scenes - shower scene i'm looking at you - are some of the best written in the franchise
but this game is so fucking rushed.
the first thing to go, and this is nothing new from the previous 4 seasons, is branching. the first two volumes have you getting to know the OG boys before making your choice of initial coupling. they all have distinct personalities at THAT time. but as soon as you couple up with one of them all of their personalities are gone. jin, initially the jokey fun guy, the one i chose to couple with? he loses his humor. he just becomes "loyal nice boy." jack, the boy next door that was so kind to me in the first volume that i almost coupled with him anyway despite not really being attracted to him? he loses his kindness. he becomes the "rival boy that's always doing shady things like cheating on his partner in casa."
this immediately sucks. but no branching doesn't automatically make a bad visual novel. danganronpa is one of my favorite games of all time and i have no say over ANYTHING there. & characters losing their personalities, while blindsiding me & actively detracting from the games replayability (cause why on earth would i replay to romance jack after seeing how sneaky he was in my playthrough), isn't a deal breaker either. i can take this game where it's at.
but the second thing to go is downtime.
seriously, the pacing in this game is breakneck. i don't think i could name a single volume that didn't have a challenge. and i could name several that had three!! there's so little time to sit with the characters. all i know about my partners is what i learned on my first date with them. and i have NO connection with the islanders outside of my couple. at the end of the game, claudia was like "you're gonna be my bestie foreverrr!!" and i was like "did we ever talk?"
because of course, giving your characters personalities and relationships to each other takes hard work. and going from one pre-established kissing challenge straight into another is so much easier.
these writers really started to show their strain towards the final volumes of this story.
the reunion volume especially was just, Atrocious. they somehow found a way to combine the season 5-ism of turning every character into an insufferable jerk with the season 7-ism of hiding every interesting plot point behind a paywall.
IN ADDITION. in these episodes you are FORCED to express attraction to and KISS someone that you are not in a couple with. i ended the game with bea and now i have to watch myself cheat on her.
you can not convince me that they would have kept this plot point in if they had ANY amount of time to think about it. but they don't. they have a week to write these episodes, and they have three weeks before they have to have a whole new season storyboarded and the first volume written.
i hope it is obvious that none of my complaining here is directed at the writers. they are doing the absolute best they can under the horrible conditions they are given.
this is all directed at the truly despicable executives at fusebox that are enforcing these conditions, prioritizing monetary gain over the health of their workers.
none of this pressure is audience-enforced. i've read so many reddit posts & instagram comments begging for them to take time on their next season. everyone wants another season 2. but another season 2 can't happen (healthily) under these conditions.
three weeks. i see that number & i'm truly appalled.
i will be taking a long hiatus from fusebox's work. it's simply not fun anymore. & if & when i come back, because i truly love love island so much & i really do believe in these writers to make something genuinely good, it will be when i can tell that these conditions have improved. fusebox's executives will not get another penny out of me until then.
submitted by frog_hospital to fuseboxgames [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 18:50 Little_Goal5826 Knowing the truth

Hi All,
Been here for over 5 months now.
Long story short. Wife (31F) of 5 years cheated on me (27M) with a co-worker in September - December 2023. We have 1 child together, and I have a stepson, which is her little boy from previous relationship. My daughter is 2, and her son is 7.
She cheated because she was lonely, she had shit going on and never bothered dealing with it, instead she stepped out and done something that made her feel better about herself.
We’ve both done IC, and she realised that if she was ever unhappy in a relationship, rather than voicing it, she stepped out as it was easier. She took the route of a coward, damaging me and the kids in the process.
I think she didn’t realise the consequences of her actions until the kids asked if me and her will be breaking up, which was like a stab to the heart for her.
I had a lot of TT throughout the discover, but she says it’s all out.
She cut contact immediately with AP when it came out. She quit her job immediately and now works in a woman only office, she’s been giving me her phone, all of it. She begs and cries for me not to leave her, and is showing true remorse for her actions.
The only thing that’s stopping me from fully committing to R is, do I know all the truth?, as I have this feeling that this isn’t the first time she had cheated on me. To give you some context:
While this was unraveling, somebody that she hasn’t spoke to in about 10 years apparently, sent her a message on Instagram saying “Hey, just wanted to reach out and apologise about how I treated you, I guess I’m just apologising before karma catches up”. She had shown me the message as soon as she received it, but said that it was weird as she hadn’t spoken to him in like 10 years. She wasn’t even friends with the guy on IG, and few hours later, he deleted the message along with the request and blocked her.
Then a few days ago, another of her Ex’s that used to be her old lover, from about 10 years ago again, reached out to her with a waving hand on Facebook. Again, last convo they had based on her fb messages was back in 2020, and it was just a memory she sent him of him with her cat when they were together.
When this was all happening, I’ve also seen that she spoke to another Ex back in 2021 via snap, as the chat was there, but again, she said that it was probably when she was replying to him on his story or something (then I find that all of his photos, she liked on socials in that timeframe).
We’ve been together for 5 years, and married for 1. I knew of these people as she used to tell me who her previous partners were as this was something I wanted to know when we got together.
She is so so so adamant that she didn’t cheat on me prior to this. She begs for me not to leave her, and that she’ll do anything to fix her fuckup, and that she won’t make it without me.
We have been through a lot together, we lost 2 babies, her dad was diagnosed with Cancer recently again.
I’ve been looking after myself, have put on weight, gained loads of muscle, started running, looking after my skincare, and actually started to get a lot of attention from women. I am successful, work in Cyber Security, and get paid really well.
I just can’t seem to move forward with R until I have heard every lie, but all I get told is - “you know everything, I have told you everything, there is literally nothing else for me to say”, how am I suppose to believe that? How am I suppose to believe that she didn’t cheat before?, I can’t!, too many people are popping up randomly, apologising, reaching out, why?
She says she doesn’t know why, and that she can’t control what other people do. I’m so lost, I do want to make it work with her, I really do, but I can’t without knowing that there’s nothing left to say and without knowing that I know everything.
We talked about polygraphs and stuff, but apparently they’re not reliable as apparently somebody can tell the truth and still fail and vice versa.
I don’t know what else I can tell her to reassure that whatever has happened in the past, I just need to know between us, so I can process and put it on the shelf, where it will stay, and then fully commit to making R work with her, as she’s really, really trying.
This sucks so much. I am only 27, and the things I’ve experienced in life, I wonder to myself, what did I do in my previous life to deserve all of this pain…
submitted by Little_Goal5826 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:56 icedadx44 I (M33) feel unloved by my wife (31F) how do I overcome this feeling?

I have early onset COPD. I live in rural Nebraska, one of my triggers for my lungs is grain dust. I asked my wife to leave and she said no she wouldn't leave because she desires a life where ournkids grow up woth family ( S8, D7).
I learned about my COPD shortly after my son's birth and switched careers in part became of that (welder to teacher). WThe same doctor visit the doctor told me I should also look into living somewhere else due to accute allergies to grain dust and the nature of COPD. Each time I have a flair up my lungs get slightly more damaged, making the next flair up more often and more obstructive.
We lived in rural Kansas at the time. We finally moved to a different farm community in Kansas, despite my pleas to move somewhere good for me, in 21 due to her desire to go back to school. She failed out of school and we ended up having to leave our house we thought we were going to buy and ended up moving close to her sister in Nebraska. Again I asked to find somewhere else where it would be better for my lungs, but understood that we were in a dire situation and needed to find a home. We moved again in the same home and used the last of our savings to get out of our old lease and I to our new one beciae she didn't like our apartment and wanted to move into a duplex that opened up.
We are maxed out money wise, there is no hope of improvement here in that regards. She says the kids are happy because they have friends and she doesn't want to uproot them again. I am currently in the middle of a flair up... I feel like there are daggers in my chest and I asked her again if we could go and she said no... so I got angry and told her I was going wothout her . We separated, I got angry, she didn't want me and chose her familyover me. I started looking for distractions joined all kinds of Facebook pages and ended up liking a photo of another woman and commented on her eyes. My wife seen these and broke down. I went out to a bar with a friend because we never go on dates and I wanted to go out. My wife asked of I cheated, I did not. We argued back and forth, I cried for days. She doesn't think moving would help, she said she is scared we would end up homeless despite the relocation adding money to our pockets.
All of my family told me I'm being selfish, all of her family telling her I'm wrong. While I cry because all of thisnis happening because it hurts to breath and it's going to keep getting worse and now my choices are to lose my kids and try and find somewhere that isn't literally sucking the life from me or stay with a woman that I love but feel doesn't love me... or at least not enough to choose me. I asked to end the separation because I'm afraid I will end up killing myself if I have to live wothout them. Therapy hasn't helped, every argument and disagreement we have stems from this fear that she doesn't really love me that I'm just the safe choice. But I feel stuck because I will lose my whole world if I try to go for me. So I'm sitting here feeling depressed feeling like shit because my chest burns and she still gets everything she wants and I'm happy she is happy but idk how I could ever believe her when she tells me she loves me. Idk how I could ever believe her when she says I'm her world when I KNOW every chance she has had to shoot me over ANYONE else has always to make me the second option. But to leave is to leave everyone and everything and be a distance parent .
submitted by icedadx44 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:45 ThrowRamaxislife I(21F) am obsessed with my boyfriends(M27) ex gf(F25). What should i do?

Using throwaway acoount for obvious reasons. Me(F21) am stalking my bf's(M27) ex. They dated in 2016-2019. I've been interested in her life for past 3 years. I know his ex personally. He was really close with her and they were even engaged. That ex made him do things he said he hates and never wanted to. Including cheating multiple times. I met my bf in 2018 november. Since we first met we had a spark but he was taken at the time. But still he flirted with me. So fast forward to 2021 and we actually started dating. So basically he has told me about her and i know its normal. He said he hates her and doesnt want her in any way. But for some reason i still want to be like her and stuff. I cant really tell this to anyone. Sometimes i even call myself her name. On Facebook he still has some old events tagged with her name. We all have same friendgroup. What should i do?
submitted by ThrowRamaxislife to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:33 Spiritual-Fee9875 Is he cheating?

Me (F, 33) and husband (M, 33) have known each other for nearly 8 years, married for 4 years. We both share a son who is turning 2. Since the start of my pregnancy, we have slept on the same bed but not had sex, at all. We could count the times we had sex in one hand.
I once talked to him about it, and he told me that we either got too tired from work or he was terrified about the idea having sex while a baby was in my stomach.
Long story short, I realised recently that he often eye-balled at massage parlours with sexual services. One night, I went through his phone and realised that he even went to facebook search A parlour nearby our home. I confronted him about it and he told me that he did think of visiting one for reasons that he was very stressed out at work and couldn't find anyone to confide in. Also, he felt that I often disregarded his feelings. When I pushed further, he told me that he was checking these parlour out of curiosity.
Is he mind-fucking me? Did he already frequent them? Did he cheating on me? I am on the verge of initiating a divorce but am at a loss on what to do next. I don't want my son to live without his father at this age. What are the repercussions if we really went through a divorce?
submitted by Spiritual-Fee9875 to Marriage [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:34 gamer63021 Water retention with protein shake?

I am a 34 year old master's swimmer and training for the 50 m sprint event. I started swimming about 3 years back. For the first 2 years I was only swimming and learning the technique I relied for protein intake on a balanced diet of fish chicken and eggs along with peanuts, pulses and cereals. I took about 70-75 g protein and my weight was 68 kg. In the third year I started a dryland programme to assist the swimming which consisted of pull-ups pushups sit ups core workout etc. after which I started falling sick from cold very often and I realized I need to up my diet. I increased my egg white and chicken and fish intake and I became much healthier and started gaining weight upto 72 kg but my stomach was always upset with lot of bloating. I had never tried protein shakes before but I decided to give it a try. So recently I took a protein shake (Optimum Nutrition gold standard whey) after much research. I checked the authenticity with their code verification and hologram. I am using it for half a week now just 1 scoop per day post workout to replace my eggs and chicken while keeping the rest of plant and dairy diet as is. I plan to keep meat restricted to weekends only and take protein shake 5 times a week. Since I started it my stomach has wonderfully gone back to normal and I get the healing effect I need. Infact I feel this can take my training to the next level. But when I check my weight at the exact standard time (every morning after using the bathroom and loo) I just went from 72 kg to 74 kg in 4 days. So I believe this is just water weight. I don't see any bloating but my muscles also feel a tad bit bigger. My urine colour is mild yellow as usual or completely colourless. So has anyone else observed this? Is this what is called water retention and is this normal or expected? Does this mean that I have somehow got a steroid or bad chemical in the powder or got cheated ?
submitted by gamer63021 to Protein [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:32 prizefyter Where to beat the Meat?

Prices! Tips, please, to find where/how to beat the meat prices in town!
Been ovo-pescatarian for about 7 years. Therefore, I mostly eat a lot of fish, rice, eggs, tofu, bananas, vegetables, udon, somen, carbs. No dairy, beef, pork (except the rare ramen cheat), chicken, cheese, or other animal products.
In my own personal desire to change things up (health, challenge, boredom (and I really miss 唐揚げ and 焼肉!)) I’ve been looking to not only bring meat back in, but in a big way, and cut out all sugars and carbs. For the flack, I’m looking at leaning into the Carnivore Diet. At least a hybrid of it.
So, I'll need meat. Lots. Ongoing. Been a long time since I bought meat at the grocery store.
On budget, what and where are your best suggestions in the Fukuoka area to find great cuts of meat? Specifically beef and chicken. Including tallow, bone marrow, ホルモン, liver, etc. Not a pork fan outside of ramen.
スーパー? Costco? Butcher? Online orders? Bulk? Other?
よろしくお願いします。
submitted by prizefyter to fukuoka [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:28 Mindless_Mistake_665 I went through my ex's email and found out they are deceased.

My ex and I have dated for a year and 4 months before he cheated on me with a co-worker and we broke up. Prior to this we had Been living together.we moved in after 9 months together and I moved away to be closer to university.
I went to visit him about 2 months ago and that's when I found the chats. He apologized and said they never slept together but I proceeded to break up with him and took the rest of my stuff with me back to res. He reached out to me a couple of days later and we started talking again. I did not see us going back together but I had gotten Soo used to his calls and texts. Even though the conversations weren't as heartfelt or lengthy as before. It hurt a bit less knowing that he cared to checked up on me at least. I spoke to a friend about this and I told him I do not see a future between us. He encouraged me to cut all contact and focus on healing and moving forward if I don't want to get back with him.
The next morning the usual good morning text came from my ex and I didn't respond I just blocked him everywhere. He didn't try to reach out any other way. weeks have passed and now an email popped up and I saw it was to his email address it's from a funeral insurance company. (I know I shouldn't have went through his email) but the email talks about a claim. I don't know if they made a mistake but it read's along the lines of wanting a death certificate for him in order to proceed with a claim.. I don't know what to think.
Noone has reached out to me from his family, no posts on Facebook from his family or sister. It's been almost a 2 weeks since we last spoke. What should I do? I don't want to jump to conclusions.
submitted by Mindless_Mistake_665 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


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