As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

I recently received an email offering me a personal assistant position after applying for a job on Indeed. The email details a part-time remote position with a weekly pay of $1000. However, the offer seems suspicious as it involves handling financial transactions before starting work. Here's the email content:
Thanks for providing answers to the questions. I am happy to inform you that you have been employed temporarily as my personal assistant, all necessary paperwork will be prepared and made available to you as soon as I'm back, I will also make plans to meet with you after my trip.
My accountant is overseeing my other business audit at the moment, I have instructed her to set up an expenses account for you as soon as the audit is complete. I will make the account available to you once it is all set up and ready to be used. You will be using the expenses account to pay bills and also withdraw your weekly pay as instructed.
Moving forward, your home office needs to be set up and I've already discussed with our authorized distributor to make all the necessary office equipment available to you. You'll receive the equipment listed below which you'll be working with on the job:
1) Apple Macbook Pro 16" Core i9 2.4GHz 4GB 1TB Radeon Pro 5500M 2) HP Laserjet M577f Laser All-in-One Color Printer 3) Fellowes Proteus 125 Thermal & Cold Laminator, 12.5" Width, Putty (5709501) 4) Powershred MS-450Cs 5) BS 1 Professional Time Billing 2022.2 Norton ghost 20.1 6) Sage 3000 cloud 2022 (SAGE) US Patent Single User Pack 7) Microsoft 365 Home Premium Word, Power-Point, Excel, and Outlook 8) MyOB Business Essentials Pro
A virtual training will be provided to you on how to use the software programs just to guide you through so you won't find them difficult to work with.
I'll instruct my accountant to make funds for the equipment available so the distributor can ship the equipment to you next week. However, the distributor advised that they are only accepting payments via money order due to the current restructuring of their company and they're changing to a new financial institution. So, I will instruct my accountant to cut out a check from my other business account and mail it to you via FedEx to be delivered on Tuesday. The Funds will include your first week's pay of $1000. Once you receive the payment, you're to get the money order from the post office and send it to the distributor so they can proceed with delivering the office equipment to you.
Kindly confirm to let me know if you'll be available on Tuesday to receive and deposit the check so the funds can be available to carry out your tasks. Provide me with your info below so I can forward it to my accountant to issue the check and mail it to you:
Kindly provide the following information
Full Name: Mailing Address (No P.O Box): Mobile Number:
Best regards, (Blank)
The email requests personal information and asks for a check to be deposited to purchase office equipment. The use of money orders and unusual payment methods raise red flags. The company mentioned in the email is a legitimate business located just 10 minutes from where I live.
If you come across similar offers, exercise caution. This email displays characteristics of a fake check scam. Always verify the legitimacy of job offers before disclosing personal information or engaging in financial transactions. Stay vigilant and protect yourself from potential scams!

Sorry, the ending of the title was supposed to be: “in an AI chat bot test”
Hi all, this is my first post here, I hope someone can give me advice.
So basically the CS team wants to launch an AI chat bot that helps our support agents handle the daily load.
The chat bot can scan the help center and give answers to basic questions (although the help center is pretty detailed).
The problem they are running into is they cannot tell me what they would consider a success or a failure for the test in metrics for the chat bot.
The team has a very high CSAT of 4.6, so if you compare the bot’s CSAT against that and say that anything below that is a failure is unrealistic.
The stakeholder says that any number they come up with seems arbitrary and random to them and they don’t like that. They are asking basically to help them set a realistic goal.
I’m not really sure how, maybe someone have any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation?

Spring is winding down, summer's on it's way; would love to get a little cash to fund the summer fun (and the next parts order). Still, trades are always on the table. Don't be shy with the cheapies.
TLDR
I got:

• A bunch of unique handmade stuff, including fuzzes, drives, and filters.
• Some 9V/12V practice amps I made from old speakers.
• A handful of cheapies
• A digitech Multi-FX
• Some bulky items for local trade in the Nashville, TN area.

I want:

• Just about anything related to musical instruments and music making: Effects, instruments, gizmos, recording stuff, etc.
• Or lots of other things not remotely related to music. Try me.
• Or money
• I mean, basically, if you want a pedal, especially a handmade one, and are willing to send me something of reasonable value for it, you have a good shot at getting it.

DIY STUFF
(If you are NOT into handmade stuff, scroll down because I have some other items at the end.)
This is hand-built stuff that I made, mostly relatively unique or heavily tweaked designs built on vero or point to point. Many are housed in upcycled tins, a few in Hammond boxes. They all run on standard 9v pedal power. These aren't clones for the most part, unless they are; but normally I actually monkey about with the circuits quite a bit or just test out wacky ideas. If you want something nobody else has, you're in the right place…
I have the handmades valued in 4 tiers:

• D tier are my trashy cheapies, made from reclaimed components. I don't feel right asking a lot for reclaimed components. I value them in the $40 - $50 range, not really picky about what I trade for. I might even take dirt pedals for these. Only got one left, trying to phase out this tier.
• C tier are the cheapies made with new components. I value these in the $50 - $60 range, not very picky here either.
• B tier are my average builds, I will trade for pedals in the $65-$90 value range, depending on the complexity of the build. A little pickier, but still pretty open.
• A tier are my happy happy builds, usually more complex or just nicer quality. I will be picky about trades for these. (But still not Boutique prices; I have no delusions). It's probably less about value here and more about how much I actually want the thing you have. Think in the $90 - $130 range.

MOBILE USERS: There are 4 columns in the tables below: Name, Tier, Links, and Notes. If you don't see all 4, scroll over or ask for more info.
Fuzzes

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Bazz Me Fuss You #1	A	PIC DEMO	A bazz-fussified perversion of the Escobedo push-me-pull-you, featuring controls for octave and volume. This is the first unit I've built using my own custom PCB. Housed in a painted 125B with top jacks.
Space Fuzz	B+	PIC DEMO	This is a Hollis crash sync fuzz that I souped up with an LFO to modulate the filtesync frequency. Really wild flangery/phasey type gated fuzz sound. At the right settings you can get some octave-down effects as well. Housed in a ~3.5 inch square game tin reinforced with recycled plastic. Pretty pleased with this build.
SwirlFuzz	B+	PIC DEMO	Modulated octave fuzz prototype. It's an octave fuzz, but you can switch on an LFO to modulate the octave amount. Controls for Rate, Depth, Gain, and Volume, plus switches for waveshape and mode (Normal/Octave/Modulated). In a circular tin reinforced with recycled plastic.
Baller Fuzz	B	PIC DEMO	Another Bazz-Me-Fuss-You build with an added BMP-style tone control. In a slightly beaten-up heart-shaped basketball tin. Y'all ready for this?
Big Green Fuzz for Attractive Bass Players	B	PIC Demo	Like my bazz-me-fuss-you circuit, but with a big muff tone stack, a clean blend, and optional clippers for more compression. Housed in a big round tin reinforced with recycled plastic and designed specifically for attractive bass players. Unattractive ones may not really gel with this.
Creature from the planet Chyowngg	B	PIC Demo	Prototype of a unique fuzz I've been developing that I call the Chyowngg fuzz. It's a 2-stage octaver that gives a bright synthy tone with a distinctive envelope (hence the name). You can toggle each stage from octave to non-octave mode for a variety of interesting timbres. Also has a tone control, but the tone control is before the octave stages so it results in interesting behaviors depending on the switch settings. It's in a tin meant to be painted like an alien, though some say it looks more like a triceratops.
Dumbo's Bazzrite Fussrite	C	PIC Demo	A bazz-fussified mosrite fuzzrite circuit I cobbled together in point-to-point wiring style. Housed in a little Dumbo puzzle tin with GLITTER! Controls are for balance (kind of tone-cum-gain) and volume.
Wiff Spwinkles on Top	C	PIC Demo	This point-to-point fuzz lives in the same neighborhood as the Harmonic Percolator, but has a few differences. I altered the way the gain knob works, and added a switch to toggle bass cut. It's housed in an ice-creamity welly tin.

Drives, Distortions, and Boosts

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Bronze Drive	A	PIC Demo	This is a point-to-point, transistor based overdrive I designed based loosely on the Davisson Easy Drive. Good for low-gain crunchy tones and plenty of output volume on tap if you want it for a boost. Tone circuit is like a BMP stack but with a mid hump instead of a mid cut. Housed in a painted 125B.
Copper ZenerMorph Drive	B	PIC Demo	This is an experiment in zener diode clipping. Nice crispy drive that gets beefier as you turn up the gain, lots of good edge-of-breakup tones to be had. Housed in a decorated tin reinforced with some recycled plastic.
Shining Hope Drive	B	PIC Demo	Differential mirroring drive, gives a kind of overdriven-mixer-channel distortion. Controls for gain, tone, and volume. Housed in a star-shaped Christmas tin.
B is for Beast	C	PIC DEMO	This fun little drive/boost consists of two cascading MOSFET gain stages with optional clipping in between. It goes from clean and loud to massive wall-of-gain distortion nicely. Controls for gain, clipping, and volume. In a small heart-shaped tin about 4in by 4in.
Green Sparkler Boost	D	PIC	Just an Escobedo Duende JFET boost built point-to-point in a sparkly little round tin. Gives a little gain and a bit of warmth to the tone.

Non-Dirt

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Quack like a penguin	B+	PIC DEMO	Third build of the Chykka Wakka, a WIP all-transistor envelope filter. This one is built on vero, and features controls for Q, Range, and Attack, as well as toggles for Voicing and envelope smoothing. Housed in a smallish penguin tin reinforced with recycled plastic.
Gift of Chykka Wakka	B	PIC DEMO	First build of an all-transistor envelope filter I designed. Built point-to-point style and housed in a little giftbox tin reinforced with recycled plastic. Controls for Q and Sweep, switch toggles envelope smoothing.
Vortex of Funk	B	PIC DEMO	Second build of the Chykka-Wakka circuit, this one features attack, Q, and range controls. Built point-to-point and housed in a painted tin.
BZZZ BOOP BEEP	B	PIC DEMO	A basic square wave oscillator on a momentary switch. Can go from bzzz to boop to beep with a sweep of the big knob. Also has tone and volume controls, and a 3-way switch for different decay amounts. Use it to simulate a spring door stopper or dying cow. Or bleep your foul-mouthed frontman. Or mess with the sound guy. Or send Morse code to the bar. I dunno. Housed in a painted tin reinforced with recycled plastic.

Little Amps

Name	Price/Trades	Links	Description
Ample iMank	$65	PICS DEMO	This is a Runoffgroove Ruby Amplifier built into this old multimedia speaker enclosure designed to look like an old iMac. Glows blue when you turn it on. It runs from a standard 9v pedal power. It's not terribly loud, nor terribly clean, but if you dig the classic mac vibe it might be fun. Controls for gain and volume, and a power switch on the back.
Nosy Amp	$75	PICS DEMO	Another solid-state amp based on the Ruby amplifier, housed in a repurposed bookshelf speaker. This one actually has pretty decent volume, even on 9V (can run on 12V as well for more), and can stay clean while getting loud enough for a quiet jam with friends.
Fleur-de-Lis Amp	$90	PICS DEMO	A tiny bookshelf speaker turned into a practice amp. This one features a class D power amp for lovely cleans, and a custom designed discrete preamp that gets punchy & crunchy when cranked. Runs on 9V but pretty loud nonetheless.

Non-DIY Stuff
Make an offer. I respect Reverb Price Guide values, though I may lean high if it's a feeler.

Brand	Name	Condition	Notes
Danelectro	Fab Chorus	Excellent	Cheap plastic chorus, but sounds great. Probably just a make-weight, too cheap to trade on its own.
Caline	10-band EQ	Good	Works fine, I just don't really need 10 bands of EQ. Has velcro on the back, and sometimes makes a weird noise when you turn on the pedalboard. Another make-weight.
Ibanez	PH7	Good	Tonelok phaser. Great pedal, has some glue on the bottom I couldn't get off, but works fine.
BOSS	TU-12H	Good	Crusty vintage tuner from Boss. Still works great, but it's missing the outer case (still has the inner part). If you had one in the day and want to relive the magic, feel free to make an offer.
Digitech	RP360	Very Good	Great multifx, I've gotten some fun sounds out of it, but it isn't seeing much use. I'm just more of a discrete FX guy I guess.
MOTU	MIDI express	Good	This is an antique MIDI patchbay and interface. It's pre-USB and uses the parallel cable (PC) or some kind of Apple-specific DIN cable (Mac). Could be used standalone, or maybe you're into retro MIDI setups? Comes with box and cables anyway.
unknown builder	PedalPCB Cataclysm	Very Good	This is a really solid build of a PedalPCB cataclysm (Disaster Transport Jr clone) built by someone other than me. Pics here. Not sure what to value it, but make an offer.

Local (Nashville TN area) ONLY

Brand	Name	Condition	Notes
TEAC	A3340S 4-Track Reel-to-Reel	Good	Cleaned up, oiled up, and in good working order last time I tried it out. Meant to do some analog recording, but just haven't gotten the time or space. Would trade for a decent instrument of some kind. Might even throw in a copy of Craig Anderton's "Home Recording for Musicians", which uses the same unit.
Altec-Lansing	Power amp (9442A)	Fair	300 W, 2 rack-unit power amp, can work in stereo or bridged mode. Last time I used it one of the channels was a little flaky. Couldn't be bothered to fix it myself. Heavy as all get out, I'll sell for cheap if you're local.

What would I trade for??
I'm wide open to trades for music gear of all kinds and other items of value.
Some Priority Wants:

• A next level looper like the Pigtronix Infinity 3. Feeling limited by my current setup. Something with MIDI sync, multiple loop tracks, tempo sync.
• Boss OC-5.
• A reverb with a really good plate algorithm.
• Compact 12 channel mixer. Preferably a Mackie VLZ or similar.
• Isolated pedal power supply.
• Genuine e-Bow. Already own 2 clones, looking to try the real shebang.
• A multiple-MIDI I/O unit.
• A 1-U rack-mount mixer.
• Money.

Other things I'd likely trade for:

• Pedals, naturally:
  • Especially fancy DSP type pedals (the kind I can't build), or a nice analog flangechorus.
  • Decent analog pedals that need repair. Expect a lot of questions and not much value, though.
  • Check "probably not wants" below
• Studio gear like mics, headphones, cables, small mixers, rack gear, etc.
• Synths and midi gear, especially cheap stuff like Volcas or Reface, etc. Really need a MIDI interface with multiple I/O.
  • I kinda dig old casio/yamaha cheapies.
  • Drum machines are interesting to me.
• Musical instruments? I play about everything, or would like to try anyway.
  • I'd like to acquire a tele style guitar at some point. Even just a cheapie knockoff.
  • If you've got a not-too-expensive Ibanez fretless bass (or similar), let's talk. I'll offer things on the secret menu.
• Also Non-music things:
  • Unbuilt pedal kits, pedal enclosures, bulk lots of electronics parts, etc.
  • Electronics/DIY tools or supplies (scope, transistor tester, solder, etc)
  • Something weird and creative. Random items of modest value you want to get rid of. Handmade items that are giftable.
  • Did I mention money? I do paypal and venmo.

Probably not wants (doesn't apply to C or D-tier builds, offer anything for those):

• Dirt pedals. Might make an exception for something really intriguing, though.
• Eurorack modules, unless anyone wants to trade me a whole starter setup (yeah, probably not, right?)
• Guitaamp/cab parts. Not really into modding that stuff. Yet.
• Behringer pedals. Just not a fan.
• Any pedal whose value is primarily as a collectible (Vintage, Rare editions/colorways/signature models, etc)
• If I can get it on Amazon or Reverb for under $50, I'd rather we bundled a few things to make it worth the shipping cost.

A Note about mods/repairs/custom jobs: Feel free to shoot me your ideas, but probably I'm leaning toward not doing these. Expect to pay/trade way more for something custom than what I ask for the pedals I've already built.

I wrote mini reviews of each arc here, but because there are so damn many arcs, this ended up being a wall of text, despite me trying to keep them short. Feel free to skim or read only what interests you!
--
The episodic nature of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla means that its narrative is split into chunks. These chunks take place across the many shires of medieval England and vary in terms of length, depth and, well, pointlessness. I thought ranking them would be a fun exercise — a competition of story arcs, all vying for best Viking mini-narrative.
It goes without saying, but I’m about to spoil the whole damn game, so read at your own risk.
--
21. Wincestre
Wincestre is just another Lunden or Jorvik, accept with more Jesus, more King Aelfred and way less… anything worthwhile. This one was just a total nothing-burger of an experience. The fact that it comes so late in the narrative really hurts it, too, because by now you’ve experienced arcs that are a similar traditional Assassin’s Creed city-style that at least aren’t this bad. Aelfred’s turning on Eivor at the end also didn’t feel coherent, convincing or warranted to me. Big miss.
20. Lunden
The smaller, denser cities with multiple targets to track down and ‘social stealth’ options are certainly here to attempt to replicate the traditional AC experience, but Lunden fails to do so meaningfully, and even gets a huge points deduction for being misleading.
The arc is set up to feature twists with Stowe and Ercke (is one a traitor? Will your romancing of Stowe make things complicated?), but after their initial scenes they’re mitigated to what I would hardly even call side characters as Eivor unveils three randos as Order members, kills them and then leaves town. At least there was a cool boss sequence on the river?
19. Snotinghamscire
This arc sees you reunite with Hemmingr Jarl, his son Villi and his compatriot, Trygve. Eivor has an existing relationship with these characters, but the player doesn’t. As a result, nothing that happens with them lands meaningfully.
After Hemmingr passes, this arc boils down to running dull errands to prepare for the burial ceremony. Eivor chooses whether Villi or Trygve will succeed Hemmingr in the end, but the decision is very clear-cut and suggested to the player, lacking the nuance of the game’s other difficult decisions. This arc isn’t memorable, doesn’t concern the main quest, and feels like fluffy filler in the worst way.
18. Jorvik
Another version of the Lunden & Wincestre arcs, Jorvik is stronger than its competitors for presenting the Order members to your face before you deduce who they are. There was nothing shocking about their reveals, but each provided an interesting set piece to navigate during assassinations.
Problematically, the arc sets itself up for Eivor to accuse a traitor, only for her decision to not matter at all. You never get to act on your accusation at Yuletide — the Order member interrupts and attacks the feast no matter who you accuse.
17. Cent
The Cent arc sees Eivor team with Basim to track Fulke. It feels important and part of the main story, but it’s all for naught in the end — you come face-to-face with Fulke in what seems like a meaningful story moment, only for her to run away. Your reward is finding out Sigurd had his arm cut off.
This arc earns some points for getting Fulke screen time and tiptoeing the tightrope of Eivor and Basim’s rocky relationship believably, but certainly can’t be called good. This is because once you pull back the veil, you realize you never advanced the plot and were running in circles for nothing the entire time. At least the other “filler” arcs were forthright about their (lack of) connection to the main story.
16. Jotunheim
This arc has a compelling story to it — Odin running from his fate and bending over backwards to flee from it is interesting, his broken relationship with Loki should be a strong point for the arc, and his moral gray areas (sleeping with a Jotunn, betraying Tyr) certainly make for a complex character’s development.
It has the ingredients of a strong arc, but I just couldn’t shake the why am I doing this feeling I had the entire time. Everything in between Odin’s big moments is a fetch quest and I just felt like I was wasting my life.
This one is weird because on paper it feels like there’s a lot of substance here, but ultimately, I felt nothing while playing it besides contempt for having drank the potion in Ravensthorpe again.
15. Lincolnscire
Heir to the throne Hunwald is exiled from Lincoln and reaches out to Ravensthorpe for help. Eivor tracks down his sickly and dying father and then must cast the deciding vote for whom the new Ealdorman will be after his death.
The game wastes your time with one of Hunwald’s competitors, Aelfgar, (who is a dork) and paints the bishop as evil pretty clearly (he turns out to be an Order member). I suppose this arc could hit hard for someone who accidently put an Order member in charge. For that and for Hunwald at least having a strong drive and personality, this arc earns some marks.
14. Essex
Eivor is brought in to repair a marriage by separating husband and wife naturally without a public divorce. She reunites Ealdorman Birstan with his former lover and sets up a fake public kidnapping to whisk away his wife, Estrid.
I think many would rate this arc far lower than I have here because it is pure side mission nonsense — but for me, this arc stands strong on the backs of convincing and fun characters in Birstan and Estrid, as well as the tangled web of relationships between the two of them, Birstan’s son, and Rollo, Estrid’s former lover.
13. Ledecestrescire
Ledecestre sees the intros of Ivarr, Ubba and Ceowulf. You team up with the sons of Ragnar to help put Ceowulf’s father on the throne in Mercia.
Ledecestrescire earns points for strong, realized characters in the Ragnarsons and Ceowulf, a believable conflict with the Mercian king, as well as the arc’s biggest moment with killing or sparing Leofrith in Tamworth.
12. Asgard
Asgard looks pretty and hits hard when you first arrive. I appreciate Ubi for creating places like Atlantis and Asgard to run around and explore in.
Unfortunately, both felt supremely empty. However, watching Odin fight tooth and nail to run from his fate was satisfying and Loki is aptly deceptive and frustrating. The Builder gave the arc a nice wrinkle, too and climaxed with a nice boss fight.
I spent too much time tracking down tears, but I think if you look at just the main missions here, this is a solid experience in an incredible environment.
11. East Anglia
In this arc, Eivor works alongside Oswald to fend off violent Dane aggressors and claim his leadership role.
Oswald is honorable and likeable — watching him teach the Danes in his court that bravery can reveal itself in more nuanced ways rather than physically was powerful, and giving Eivor the decision to allow Oswald to fight his own battles or fight for him solidified the feeling of fathering Oswald through this arc into manhood and leadership.
I bought into this arc because I felt the story was touching and meaningful and the cast was strong.
10. Vinland
Nothing really happens here aside from hunting down Gorm Kjotveson, but the arc earns major points for how refreshing it is.
I played it late in the story when I was feeling quite a bit of fatigue towards the game and everything about Vinland just landed for me, giving me new energy to actually enjoy what I was doing.
The new landscape is insanely gorgeous and fun to navigate. The stripping down of Eivor’s equipment essentially forces you to start from scratch — but it really makes the four stealth encounters stronger; you have to approach them differently due to being unarmed and unarmored.
The whole thing was a little bit of a reset button for the entire experience of Valhalla and it sorely needed it.
9. Suthsexe
Suthsexe is the meeting with Guthrum and the rising action leading up to defeating Fulke.
The arc is fun, feels impactful as well as meaningful and sees you reunite with all the old friends you’ve made up to this point. Fighting alongside Soma and others was a big positive for me. Storming Fulke’s fort at least included some different mechanics than many forts up to this point, so it felt fresh. Her boss fight in the darkness of the crypts was exceptional, as was her confession sequence.
This arc was mostly good, satisfying fun the whole way through, but didn’t include too much intrigue as the ones ranked above it did.
8. Rygjafylke
Look, I’ll be honest. I’m writing this particular paragraph after completing the game and this opening section was so long ago that I don’t have a great memory of it.
What I do know is that Valhalla opened strongly. I found it all pretty compelling. I remember it being atmospheric, believable and driven by strong characters like Sigurd, Varin, Haytham, Basim and Kyotve. I was bought-in very early and Rygjafylke really got the game off to a strong start.
7. Hamtunscire & Epilogue
Aelfred screen time is a good thing, and this arc earns marks for his badassery in the face of Guthrum, as well as his manipulation of the Dane army. Ally deaths in the battle at Chepeham give the arc meaningful stakes and ratchet up the tension. This arc is brief and straightforward — there’s not much story to it since it’s really just war throughout the whole thing.
Afterwards, Eivor tracks down the final member of the Order and confronts him in a touching sequence over some burnt bread in a small swampy town in the middle of nowhere. It’s a humble conclusion for Aelfred and the swirling epic that was AC: Valhalla.
6. Hordafylke
The return to Norway contains two things: Eivor & Sigurd finding closure with Sigurd’s father, and the two locating “Yggdrasil.”
I quite enjoyed the pit stop with Sigurd’s father, and the entire Yggdrasil sequence was incredibly interesting. It was a refreshing change of pace from what you’ve been doing for the past 100 hours and featured a nice boss fight at the end. No matter which ending you get, the conversation with Sigurd after the dust settles is impactful and weighty.
5. Oxenefordscire
Finally reunited with Sigurd, this is the arc we learn of his obsession with his ancestry and true nature. Eivor’s reaction of discomfort and distrust towards Sigurd’s change is honest and relatable and she must juggle relations between Sigurd and the Thane they are working to put in charge, Gaedric.
Negotiations with King Aelfred are complex and a late intervention from Fulke reveals her true allegiance to the Order and puts Sigurd in enemy hands.
This arc moves the plot along moreso than the last 400 hours you’ve been playing the game, while also establishing and reinterpreting Eivor’s relations with the cast in meaningful ways. It ratchets up the tension of the main quest and narrative, which up to this point had been lagging behind due to a breadth of shire arcs.
4. Glowecestrecire
I’m so surprised to see myself rank this so high — after the first third of the arc, I was considering putting it in dead last. I felt Gunnar’s fiancé’s unintelligible dialogue, the trick-or-treating, the druid encounter, and Eivor’s 400th drunken night of debauchery to be a disrespectful waste of my time this deep (over 80 hours) into the game.
But then the arc turned, with two solid stealth encounters and a stellar boss fight. Navigating the Aelfwood was a gorgeous thrill and the confrontation with Modran is atmospheric and a fantastically fresh take on the typical Valhalla boss or mini boss fight.
When I decided to focus-up on the story and let the Celtic and Welsh mythos shine, the arc became a terrestrial fever dream of satisfying magic, intrigue and character interactions.
3. Grantebridgescire
Eivor looks to ally with Soma, the leader of Grantebridge, but her town’s just been sacked from the inside by a traitor. After saving her three companions in the thick river bogs, you take back Grantebridge and then embark on an investigation to discover the rat.
Its the investigation that makes the whole arc. It has a slew of clues, nuance and red herrings to consider. One of its strengths is how open ended the investigation is — you can follow the quest markers, but talking to the town’s people and hunting down the yellow-painted ship is up to you (at least I think, I played on the most ‘difficult’ exploration setting).
This arc earns big points because the investigation matters — you have to tell Soma to kill one of her closest friends and then watch her do it, living with your right or wrong decision.
2. Eurvicscire
Finally meeting the third of the famed Ragnarson’s, Eivor finds Halfdan a paranoid soul, waxing poetic about friendship and treason. The arc balances the two on a blade’s edge to tremendous effect.
Halfdan believes he has a traitor in his midst and the main culprit is his right-hand man, Faravid.
Faravid's dialogue is expertly written to feign allegiance to Halfdan, but never reveal too much of his true nature. Eivor’s wavering relationship and trust with him are complex and the Wolf-Kissed can lie to both him and Halfdan depending on dialogue choice. Every decision feels like it carries weight. It’s this ambiguity that makes the arc compelling and gives the decisions importance.
This arc could feel disconnected (it’s not part of the main plot and Halfdan doesn’t appear in the late game, no matter your decision) and thus appear as pointless fluff, but I won’t fault it for that. As a self-contained story, this was flat-out interesting and kept me in anticipation of the next reveal or twist. Imagery and foreshadowing, red-herrings, and great atmosphere all make for an engaging and compelling experience. I only wish every shire arc could’ve reached these heights.
1. Sciropscire
Sciropescire’s strengths come somewhat from the arcs that came before it, as it sees Eivor quickly reunited and working with Ivarr and Ceowulf. Your preexisting relationship with both gives this arc an advantage over others where it doesn’t have to establish too much all at once, as well as it starting off with you already having a personal connection of some sort with the main cast. Still, each set piece here is strong enough on its own –

1. Eivor & co. join to negotiate peace with King Rhodri. She can offer 600 silver to whomever she chooses to try and quell the peace talks. Each option is mired in obscurity, has obvious pros and cons, and plenty of uncertainty. It felt impactful, difficult and nuanced.
2. After peace talks go sour with Ivarr’s outburst, Eivor, Ivarr and Ceowulf sack a village under Rhodri’s control. It’s brutal and takes a long time to burn (on purpose!). You then fight a huge party of Rhodri’s men. The whole scene feels vile, over the top and harsh (on purpose!).
3. The twist is that Ivarr kills Ceowulf in cold blood to earn himself the opportunity to get his own revenge on Rhodri — only revealed after you sack Rhodri’s fort (after reaching peace with him). A brutal blood eagle from Ivarr and the game’s best boss fight ensue.

It’s close between the top 3, but this is the best arc in the game, for me.
For once, the game forces you to face the trail of bloodshed and destruction your ‘pacifying’ of England has left in your wake. Additionally, the ambiguous decision-making process in negotiating peace, the brutal village burning sequence, the tangled web of Ivarr’s relationships and motivations, the twists of the peaceful alliance and Rhodri’s fate, and finally, the Ivarr boss fight are just too good all in tandem to not take first place.
--
I’m conflicted looking back on these.
There’s many that feel even more empty than I remember them being now that I draft them as text. However, a surprising number of highly-rated arcs aren’t actually part of the main quest.
Ultimately, I’m left bewildered at the scale and scope of the epic that this game took me on. I was so fatigued by the end of it, but in hindsight so happy I completed it.

Hi Reddit,
I'm at a loss as to what to do here and need some advice.
A few days ago, my best friend Matthew sent me a screenshot of an ad on Facebook for a car. The ad was put up by his coworker, a guy named Derrin who Matthew was friends with on facebook. Matthew knew I was in the market for a replacement to my current vehicle which is a rusty deathtrap that is leaking oil constantly, and when he sent me a picture of the ad, I was ecstatic. The car was insanely priced for the mileage, but as it was posted by Matthews coworker, I didn't see the price as a red flag. The post said they bought a new car and want to get rid of the old car to make space.
I text Matthew that I'm very interested in the car, and that I'd love to get in touch with Derrin. Matthew writes back that he doesn't have his number, but he'll message Derrin in Facebook and pass along my phone number and let him know I'm eager to purchase the vehicle.
Matthew goes on to tell me that Derrin's a good, trustworthy man, and we both relished in the possibility I might be finally rid of my deathtrap on wheels.
A few hours later, I get a text from Darrin saying he saw Matthew's message and that the car was still available. They sent a few photos of the vehicle and for the most part, they looked great. The car matched up to the post, and the multiple photos were of the same vehicle taken at the same time. I was excited. Derrin requested a deposit of $500, and I accepted. I asked for a venmo account to send the money to and was given an @ handle with someone else's name on it (a woman's). Now, I have couple friends that use one another's venmo accounts, so this didn't strike me as odd at the time. I sent the $500 and was told by Derrin we would be setting up a meet to test drive the car and if I didn't like it, I'd get my deposit back. Sounds great.
I text Matthew that I put a deposit down, and we both share the excitement of a new car for me.
Then comes the next day.
Matthew works nights, and Derrin is part of the day shift that replaces Matthew at 5 in the morning. As he was clocking out, Matthew saw Derrin getting ready for his day shift, so he goes to Derrin to talk about the car. However, Derrin has no clue what car Matthew is talking about. When Matthew showed Derrin the ad, Derrin was shocked. He never put the ad up, and it quickly dawned on both of them that someone had hacked into Derrin's Facebook to put the fake car ad up using his account.
Matthew immediately texts me and tells me to cancel the venmo payment, and briefly explains what just happened with Derrin. I jump onto venmo and open a ticket to try and save my money.
I'm a bit bummed, but $500 is not the end of the world. Other people have been scammed for much more, and while I don't have a lot of money, I'm not taking a massive hit financially.
Matthew, however, feels terrible. He feels guilty for having passed along the ad and giving my number to a scammer who then successfully stole $500 from me. He texted me that if Venmo doesn't get my money back, he will rectify it, meaning he'll likely pay me $500.
Well, Venmo reached out and said I'm shit out of luck and that no payment cancellation or refund would be possible. Now here is my dilemma:
I don't want Matthew to give me $500. I don't blame him at all for sending me the ad. He was just being thoughtful and knew how desperate I was to replace my crappy car. I don't blame him for not seeing the red flags because, even in hindsight, I'm not sure I would have ever seen them. I never imagined someone would hack a person's Facebook to put up a fake ad. How lucky they were that Derrin didn't log into his Facebook sooner to see the messages inquiring about the car. It's brazen and stupid, and somehow it worked.
The only person I blame is the scammer. Both me and Matthew are a victim here, and I don't see why Matthew should lose $500 just because he was being a good friend. I haven't told him yet that venmo can't recover my money, and I don't know if I even should. As far as I can tell, my options are:

1. Tell Matthew venmo can't recover my money and he pays me regardless of my insistence that I don't want it.
2. Lie to Matthew that venmo was able to recover my funds so he doesn't feel obligated to reimburse me.

What should I do here?
Tldr. Friend and I get scammed, and he wants to pay me back my lost money. I don't know if I want it.

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

Last August we started a month to month least with a known slum lord. The house was infested with roaches, fleas, had holes in the walls, trash in the yard, door was kicked in.. just an absolute mess.
The beginning of this month I told landlord that we would be moving at the end of the month. She asked how soon I could be moved out and have the property cleaned and ready for the best tenants because they were ready to move in on the 31st. I told her we paid for the whole month of rent so we would be out by the end of the month.
This morning I get a text from a random number saying “I will be there tomorrow to do a walk thru for your landlord. Noon”
After asking for more info she’s apparently hired someone (we’ve still never met her in person) to do a walk through to check for cleanliness and to see what needs to be repaired.
We have 5 kids, 3 of which are switching schools, 2 toddlers in the middle of potty training, in the process of moving, getting everything switched to the new house, etc.
I can’t just drop everything to be at the old house that I’m still not finished moving out of…
I just don’t know what to do or how she has a right to do this when there’s still 2 weeks left in the month.
Any advice would be appreciated!

Greetings Agents!
New patch, new Bug Megathread! To avoid bug reports cluttering the subreddit and/or going unnoticed, a Megathread is posted after every patch so users may submit reports in one place. This allows Riot to easily keep track of the bugs by providing a central hub and also allows other users to confirm that they might have encountered the issue as well.

View the Current VALORANT Patch Notes!

Official Sources

Submit an Official VALORANT Support Ticket

Official Article on VALORANT Error Codes

VALORANT Server Status by Region

Community Help

Find Additional Help on /ValorantTechSupport

Seek Help In the /VALORANT Discord

Reporting a Bug

1. A bug will ideally be accompanied with a screenshot or a video. This provides credibility to your report.
2. Steps to recreate the bugs should be submitted if possible. This helps Rioters recreate the bug and helps them find the cause behind it.
3. Unformatted, mematic, or joke reports are automatically indexed and may be removed by moderators to reduce the effort needed from Riot to view all reports.

Formatting

Reddit Formatting Guide

When reporting a bug, please provide as much information as you can about your computer.

- Region: - Type of Bug: - Description: - Video / Screenshot: - Steps to Reproduce: - Expected Result: - Observed Result: - Reproduction Rate: - System Specs: 

Copy paste the above text as a comment below and fill in your details!

Example Bug Report

• Region: EU
• Type of Bug: Matchmaking
• Description: Matchmaking doesn't work properly
• Video / Screenshot: image/video hosting site link
• Steps to Reproduce: Try to launch a game
• Expected Result: Match starting
• Observed Result: Getting stuck in infinite queue
• Reproduction Rate: 10/10 (happened 10 out of 10 times)
• System Specs: Intel i5 Processor, Windows 7, Nvidia Graphics card (insert model number) etc.
From this Megathread the list of bugs will not be summarized and put up in the main body of the thread. Instead, Rioters go through and log all comments -- don't worry if you submit the 1500th or 3000th comment, they will all be progressively read.

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In trying to wrap my head around the results of the blood and urine test of my 12+ year old cat. The vet has said she's CKD stage two and should now go on a strict renal diet. I don't know how well she's going to go with that and also she's tiny (2.5kg) so I'm quiet worried about the protein restriction that's going to bring.
I'm trying to learn about it as fast as I can and in reading I saw that sometimes it's not enough that creatine levels are high and that the first urine test can be non conclusive for a full diagnosis. My vets been so helpful talking me through the results but I've already bombarded her with questions so was hoping people here could help me.
Her urinalysis results: Laboratory: Type: Test: Results: Leuk- 3+ Nitrate- 5 Protein- 1+ Glucose- norm Ketones- neg Urobilinogen- norm Biliruben- neg Blood- 4+ SG- 1.018 Gross appearance - pale yellow, floating debris - appears to be fabric/lint Sediment: Wet prep - no crystals, no cells, lots of debris Stained slide - no bacteria, no blood cells.
Her bloods: Glucose a 1.9 3.2 - 7.5 mmol/L L IDEXX SDMA b 18 0 - 14 µg/dL H Creatinine 220 80 - 200 µmol/L H Urea 16.8 5.0 - 15.0 mmol/L H Phosphorus 1.8 1.0 - 2.3 mmol/L Calcium 2.7 2.1 - 2.8 mmol/L Sodium 156 144 - 158 mmol/L Potassium 5.2 3.7 - 5.4 mmol/L Calcium: Phosphorus Ratio 1.5 1.1 - 2.3 Na: K Ratio 30.0 29.0 - 40.0 Chloride 119 106 - 123 mmol/L Bicarbonate 14 12 - 24 mmol/L Anion Gap 28.2 15.0 - 31.0 mmol/L Total Protein 76 60 - 84 g/L Albumin 35 25 - 38 g/L Globulin 41 31 - 52 g/L Albumin: Globulin Ratio 0.9 0.5 - 1.1 ALT 88 19 - 100 U/L AST 60 2 - 62 U/L ALP 28 5 - 50 U/L GGT 0 0 - 5 U/L Bilirubin - Total 1 0 - 7 µmol/L Cholesterol 7.1 2.2 - 5.5 mmol/L H Creatine Kinase 468 64 - 400 U/L H Haemolysis Moderate haemolysis Index c Lipaemia Index Nil lipaemia
RBC 9.9 4.9 - 10.0 x10^12/L Haematocrit 0.46 0.25 - 0.48 L/L Haemoglobin 130 77 - 156 g/L MCV 46 43 - 55 fL MCH 13 13 - 17 pg MCHC 283 282 - 333 g/L % Reticulocytes 0.1 0.0 - 0.4 % Reticulocytes 10 3 - 50 K/µL Reticulocyte Haemoglobin 13.7 13.2 - 20.8 pg WBC 8.2 5.5 - 19.0 x10^9/L % Neutrophils 59.7 % % Lymphocytes 31.1 % % Monocytes 4.1 % % Eosinophils 5.0 % % Basophils 0.1 % Neutrophils 4.9 2.0 - 13.0 x10^9/L Lymphocytes 2.6 0.9 - 7.0 x10^9/L Monocytes 0.3 0.0 - 0.6 x10^9/L Eosinophils 0.4 0.0 - 1.0 x10^9/L Basophils 0.0 0.0 - 0.1 x10^9/L Platelets 302 300 - 800 x10^9/L
(The vet said her glucose results can be dismissed as it was due to too little blood being in the vial during the test.)
Can someone tell me also how to simplify the values when I'm describing it in future for Reddit questions. What would I say her uspg number is, her creatine, SDMA and BUN is described in the way people here are using please?
I've got other questions I'd like to ask about her treatment plan, such as if there are things to try before going fully in to the science diets because I know how much that is going to change her life upside down and I'm a bit worried about some of the things I've read about using them when in the early stages due to the possible reduction in protein doing damage to the kidneys. If it seems safe I'd would like more time if possible to try her on other things first to see if her levels can at all be brought down. (Without wasting any time if there seems no time to spare. Whatever is best for her to help her as much as possible).
I'm also a bit confused about the food plan as from what I'm reading it's to reduce her protein and phosphorous which don't seem to be at elevated levels right now?

My question here:

1. Can an employer use an informal performance review as grounds for dismissal?
2. Can they legally give a bad review?
3. Can they legally threaten you to resign on the grounds of giving a bad review?
4. Should she resign or let the process go through and get a lawyer involved?
5. What information should she try to obtain before they take her laptop away?

Background:
My wife has been working for a major UK bank in the financial crime division of their Midlands, England office. She started on Oct 23, around seven months to date, and has been struggling. She has around 11 years of experience in Law and Policing.
When she started, she had issues with the laptop they gave her. They configured it for the wrong department, and she did not have access to the relevant systems for three months to perform her training or job. Thus, she could not get training as the others who joined at the same time as she did. Whenever she notified her manager that she could not access the systems she needed, they did not believe my wife, as the laptop was in working order.
They gave her the first piece of work without formal training, and when she asked questions to the manager or the person from the team acting as her buddy trainer, they would say she should know this or not give her the answer. The questions she asked were about what requirements or guidelines dictated why something should be filled into the forms and why she shouldn't be adding what she thought would be relevant information into the system. When she brought up that the training was not adequate for her manager, they just answered that her "buddy trainer has x number of years and knows her stuff". This caused a regression in her performance. Instead of helping, her manager would tell her that she would be fired if she did not improve her performance. Even though most of her performance is linked to bad training, harassment, and not understanding, she is a mother of 2 children under the age of 3 years.
Further exacerbating this, when she joined the Director of the department in a meeting, he asked if anyone had information they would like to bring into the department. My wife put her hand up and gave some information. The Director set up a meeting, and in that meeting, instead of listening to her on what she did for financial crime in her previous employer and how that can be transferred, he demeaned her by saying, "don't come with ideas if you don't know our processes. We hired you to do the checks not to give Ideas". What would become her buddy trainer in that meeting was there, and she and the director did not dismiss my wife. They just started talking about their things and ignored my wife.
In the case that she was told she was performing poorly, she noticed that the person was a repeat, where they just changed their address and could get a new bank account, even though they were exited previously on criminal associations of funnelling billions of pounds. She brought this up with the buddy trainer and manager, but they dismissed her when she said that when someone opens an account, they should be checked if they were previously exited, not when their dealings are being flagged after opening an account. Both her buddy trainer and the manager said that she was stupid and that it would add more work. She later discovered that both her buddy trainer and the manager took this idea to create their department for the company's board.
My wife also noticed that the others who joined had already done this job before in other banks or other departments. One individual you can see was favoured by the buddy trainer as they were of the same race and married to a white person as the buddy trainer. That buddy trainer would practically give the easiest work to her and would generally do the job to get that individual in. But my wife was always given the hardest of cases which would require her to work outside of work hours due to having 20 times the number of people to look into or were cases that needed external input which increased time but her manager and buddy trainer stated it should be done within 1 week even though these cases required 6 weeks due to the cross-communication.
In March, she contacted the Union about the harassment that was happening, and she opened a grievance on what she feels is harassment and bullying. She did not submit the grievance as she was told to give it a second chance, as they changed her buddy trainer. She was showing improvements but was not meeting what, I would say, was an unobtainable deadline. They put her on an informal performance review to prevent the union from being involved for 14 working days. Unfortunately, our children got sick for one of those weeks, and then I caught the bug three days later, and we both had to take sick leave from work. when she returned, her manager stated that because her performance did not improve, they would not give her back that week missed, and she had to reach the goals given for those two weeks within one week. This was supposed to be completed by Tuesday next week, a today week before her manager called my wife at 12 pm, what she described as a courtesy to let her know that they will be letting her go next week on Tuesdays and because it is a dismissal performance if she does not resign by 4 pm today the letter will be put into her record, and if she tried to apply for any jobs in the industry, it will have a detrimental effect. She will not be hired by any company that needs to adhere to the regulatory environment.
At this time, another individual who started with my wife was on another team in the same department run by this Director. They were removed from the team due to performance. Strangely enough, this person is of the same race as my wife.
Due to this, she did contact the Acas. But as they are not of the legal background, they could not help as she has less than two years of employment. If she does allow the letter to come onto her record, she only has the option to wait for a formal job offer to be rejected due to what I feel is an unfair dismissal.
Another weird thing that happened today is that the department's people partner published that anyone under 12 months old can now start applying to other roles within the department if their manager approves. When my wife asked her manager if, instead of her resigning or being fired she support my wife in finding a more suitable role within the organisation, the manager said sorry that this waiver does not apply to my wife.

Thanks to the internet and Reddit the lawyer said I was really prepared for our first consult. The consult fee was $500 per hour prorated and it took just under an hour for our meet and greet and for them to answer my questions. This is what I learned. It may not be completely accurate but hopefully it helps anyone in California.
Child Custody and support:
-Default is 50/50 for legal custody. My wife wanted >50% for both legal and physical custody. For legal custody the only way you would lose 50/50 is if they can prove it would not be in the best interest of the child. So it means you’re abusive etc or your work schedule is so busy you cannot care for them.
-Physical custody percentage will affect child support which is just them punching numbers into a calculator. Ex. https://childsupport.ca.gov/guideline-calculato It’s a good idea to punch in some numbers before hand to have a ballpark in your mind and then have the lawyer do it with their software to see if it’s around the same.
-If you have variable income with bonuses or work a lot of overtime etc. You may want to consider having all calculations based on your base salary and any bonuses paid out using something called an Ostler Smith Table. So if you make 100k base and 50k in bonuses the 100k support is just based on the calculator from above and the 50k would be checked against the Ostler Smith table and you would pay that amount. You would need to give your spouse paystubs every quarter or so to make sure everything is transparent. -You would want to use the Ostler Smith method if you think your bonuses will go down or stay low because you plan to work less -You would want to not use the Ostler Smith method if you think bonuses will go up. Instead you want to lock in a fixed rate. So if you made 100k/year plus 50k in bonuses for several years. Then you want them to calculate your income as 150k because you plan to work extra hard to make up for loss income from the divorce. So if you happen to then make 200k the following year, the alimony is still based on 150k and fixed.
-Other than the above there is no negotiating child support
Alimony: -They just use a calculator to come up with the temporary alimony until they can figure out the alimony after divorce. -Usually it is half the time married in terms of duration unless over 10 years of marriage. -Seems like it can be negotiated if you do not go to trial. If you do the lawyer mentioned something that it’s just a calculation that ends up being around 35% of the higher earner’s monthly.
Asset Division Property falls under community property, separate property and separate and transmuted. Transmuted means you put money earned during marriage into a separate property.
-Community property is everything earned during marriage and is split 50/50. Pretty straightforward as long as everyone is transparent about finances. Ex: You put down 100k for a home and they put in 50k and you pay all the mortgage. House is split 50/50 Ex2: You open a Robinhood account during marriage and put in 5000 and gain 100k. Split 50/50 -Community retirement accounts such as 401k are a bit trickier. But basically spouse can get a lump sum and pay tax on it or they can get a court order and have a QDRO ordered which I believe will tell the financial institution to hold onto a portion for the soon to be ex spouse but the amount is paid out later to avoid taxes.
-Separate property are premarital accounts that are not transmuted. Ex: You have a savings account with 100k that you never put any community money into. -I am unclear how separate brokerage or retirement accounts that are not transmuted are handled. For example if you have a brokerage account with 100k pre marriage and is never transmuted. It is now worth 150k at time of separation. Is the 50k earned community property and split in half or is it considered separate. The lawyer told me it was separate but I have read it is shared. Probably state law dependent. I am hoping in California it stays separate.
Separate property that is transmuted. Ex: You buy a house pre marriage. Mortgage during marriage is paid with community funds. They need the amount you put in prior to marriage and the value of the home prior to marriage, the amount or community mortgage paid and the value of home prior to legal separation. Then they do some math. One of the calculators is Moore Marsden calculator.

Ex: 401 or brokerage account prior to marriage that has community funds. See above. Need before and after values and someone will calculate it all out. QDRO will be useful if you want to avoid taxes. 

So I created a spreadsheet with all the assets organized with rough numbers and presented to the lawyer and he basically said great. Now get statements prior to marriage and date of separation and they can have a numbers person figure out the division. So it only gets tricky if people are hiding assets.
I hope this helps anyone in California and again I am not sure how correct this is but it was my experience with my first meeting with lawyer.

I'm looking to create a build around the Dhampir bite ability, and figured paladin would be a good place to start because smite can add onto an otherwise poor 1d4+CON damage (plus, bite smite is fun to say). I went with the Oath of Redemption for the synergy of taking damage aimed at others and getting advantage on attacks under half health, plus he can be flavored as someone who carries no weapons and only attacks as a last resort.
I would carry a shield and go Defensive fighting style for the extra AC. From here, I see four build paths, though I'm sure I'm missing other good options:

1. Paladin 6 or 7 -> Sorc X, to maximize smite slots
2. Paladin 11 -> Sorc X to get the extra 1d8 on hit, but still get a fair number of smite slots
3. Paladin 15 -> ??? X, for the subclass ability at 15
4. Paladin 20

Assuming point buy, how would you build this character (stats, ASI/feats, and pathing)?

Throw away account to remain anonymous. I ‘31F’ have been in a long term relationship with my Bf ‘41M’ for a little over 8 years. I love him, he is.. maybe was.. my person. We are not perfect and have had our fair share of disagreements, but he is the love of my life. The problem is that I recently found out he had been lying to me about our finances. He has about 2 months worth of bills saved up in the bank at the moment. Which honestly would not be that bad, if it wasn’t for the fact that he makes just a little less than 6 figures, and that his work fluctuates to the point that he is sometimes not working for weeks sometimes months at a time. While I work a standard 9-5 and make less than 30k a year. Now this isn’t the actual problem, we could have worked that part out. We could have sat down, made a budget, look at things we could cut out of our spending even if just temporarily to build up his savings. The problem is he lied to me about it. He also didn’t realize that he had lied to me about it because the last time I asked was a month or so ago and he told me had as much in his account as he does now. (It should have grown as he has had steady work, and was even on a 3 week work trip where he worked almost every day). And while I would not have been thrilled about this, I would not have been considering breaking up with him if he had just been honest about it. I know this probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but this is not the first time he has lied to me. When I moved here (I grew up in a different state and moved to his state about 6 hours away from where grew up, about 5 years ago) he told me on the way to his moms house to meet her, that he had been lying about living with roommates, and had actually been living with his mom and off and on his nephews. He had told me he was embarrassed, and told me before going to his moms in case she mentioned it. While a bit odd, him living with his mom would not have bothered me. I feel like it’s smart to live with family if you get along with them well enough to do so, and don’t really have a reason/need to live by yourself or with roommates instead. I was deeply hurt that he had lied to me about this. That is not all he had lied to me about. He has also betrayed me in other ways. Him and I while not in an open relationship we do have the occasional ménage à trois. We have rules set up for these occasions as there were misunderstandings, and problems that arose when we were doing them before we became serious. One of the rules is that we have to ask before talking to the person we’re thinking of brining into the bedroom. This is simple enough. Well a few years ago he had a crush on a specific girl let’s call her Kyah ‘00 F’ idr how old she was at the time (him having crushes does not bother me, as I think it is normal to be attracted to people even in a serious relationship). However whenever she was brought up he would start acting weird. I tried getting him to just admit that he was attracted to Kyah as I know what it looks like when he is attracted to someone, and he kept saying things like “it’s not like that” or “I don’t expect anything to happen” and so on. Well we were at a concert that has a pretty big following, think kiss army or dead heads, type of following, so a bunch of us were staying in the same hotel. Kyah wasn’t staying there, but she was there for the parties that happen in the hallways and random rooms. Well she ended up in a room with a friend of ours. Nbd we don’t judge. While this was going on I decided I wanted to go back our (mine and my boyfriends hotel room, which was in this hotel) and take my contacts out as they were bugging me, and to change into comfier clothes. Well I decided instead to text my boyfriend to come back to our room for some fun and it was our anniversary. Well he brought Kyah back with him. He did not ask if this was okay before asking her or bringing her to our room. When I was surprised that she was there and said something like “oh why is she here” Kyah responded to Nik saying “see I told you” as though they had discussed her coming back for this. I then asked about her being in our friends room a little bit ago and Kyah stated “nothing happened, we just took pictures. (My boyfriend and this other friend do photography for these concerts). Something to note about me is that I have pretty bad anxiety, and have trouble sticking up for myself. This gave me a bit of a panic attack, and I ended up kind of freezing and going along with her being there a bit. I was extremely uncomfortable the whole time. We did not do much, and I did finally grow a pair after making out and some other little things, to point out that her underwear was inside out. She stated the other friend she had been with didn’t put them on right. I then said “I thought nothing happened?” She then responded “well he couldn’t get it up”. To which I finally stated that I was not comfortable and that I did not want to continue this. My boyfriend then took her back to her hotel as she was staying at a different one, and I proceeded to take a viscously hot shower and cry as I felt kind of violated. Yes I should have said something earlier. Yes I should have put my foot down. However my boyfriend knows I have anxiety and will go along with things when I’m feeling that way, and he broke the rule. He did not ask. He also didn’t ask her about being in our friend’s hotel room because he “didn’t think she would do anything like that with him”. We fought about this, about him breaking the rules, about him lying about liking her and wanting to invite her to our bedroom, about “not thinking” about her trying to f*ck one of our friends. This went on for a long time. I ultimately forgave him and we decided to work on communication, and build the trust back up. We also no longer invite anyone else to our bedroom as I know longer feel okay with that. With all of that being said, and the recent lie about our finances, combined with the other lies, and the situation with Kyah (which that is not all of the lies or betrayals that he has put me through but I don’t have the time or energy to go through all of them) has me feeling like an idiot for continuously forgiving him and expecting things to change. He even admitted last night that he would not trust me if the roles were reversed. Now I don’t know what to do. As I said before, I love him, and while I get we all make mistakes, this has been a recurring theme in our relationship, and it makes me sad to have to keep doing the work to trust him again. I don’t want to break up, but I also don’t want to keep doing this. I just love him so much. So should I break up with my boyfriend?

Episode Description

Simba leaves Kiara in charge of the Pride Lands while he, Nala, and Zazu go to Kilio Valley to attend a funeral for an old elephant friend named Amanifu who has just died. Upon learning this from Mzingo, Janja decides to take advantage of Kiara's inexperience and comes up with a plan to take over the Pride Lands. Meanwhile, Simba is nervous about performing his eulogy in front of the elephants, including Aminifu's daughter, Ma Tembo.
Song: "Duties of the King" sung by Simba and Zazu

Pros
-First off, I like the sibling dynamic in this episode, as somebody with a similarly aged older brother. Kion and Kiara's relationship has resonated with me, the way they have off days and arguments, but, obviously love each other and make it out strong in the end. I, for one, do not hate Kiara in The Lion Guard, and Kion gives her the same attitude she gives him in early episodes. I like watching their relationship go through ups and downs throughout Season 1.
-I know the opening scene, where Kiara and Kion are fighting over a tree to sharpen their claws is quite intense, because they would've probably gotten into a scuffle if Simba hadn't showed up when he did, but, that is siblings for you sometimes. I feel like anyone who's got siblings of your own can relate, at least a little bit, to that scene.
-I like the plotline of Kiara and Kion's sibling rivalry stemming from their roles in leadership. Kiara is clearly a reflection of her father, when he was a cub, which is interesting and so, she thinks that being the Future Queen is really swell and makes her the alpha, and Kion (who is no better than her) thinks that being Leader of the Lion Guard makes him more important than her. I like this mechanic in this episode. It makes me want to know if Scar felt the same way about Mufasa. I mean, Kion was obviously not resentful of Kiara, unlike Scar, but I wonder if a similar thing happened with the two brothers except, in this case, it drove Scar to insanity and wanting to murder Mufasa.
-Now let's talk about Kiara being left in charge of the Pride Lands (I mean, I do think the main conflict of the episode was Simba's fault, but we'll get to that later). So, I like the fact that Kiara is nervous about ruling the Pride Lands, even for a brief period of time. I like this because for one thing, she's still only a cub at this time, so, she's entitled to be nervous and anxious about being responsible for an entire kingdom. There's a lot of responsibility being placed on her at such a young age, but, she still remained likable, in my opinion. I do like how, in The Lion Guard, she takes her responsibility as Future Queen very seriously. I know this is unpopular to say, but, I headcanon that, as she's grown up into an older cub, she's realised that being queen won't prevent her from being herself, a concern she had at the beginning of TLK 2.
-I do empathise with Kiara, and Kion, because they are both being put into a huge responsibility of looking after the entire kingdom on their own, while all the adults are away from Pride Rock. This is still really early on in Season 1, so Kion is inexperienced as Leader of the Lion Guard, and Kiara only just started her training with Simba, in the pilot episode. I do feel bad at the fact that they have to figure everything without their parents around and I respect them for managing to work out their differences by the end of the episode.
-I really feel bad for Kiara because she gets a lot of crap from people in the TLG community, moreso than Kion does. I feel really sorry for her because people say they hate her for her attitude and that they think she's a self-righteous bitch at the start of the series, but, I don't. Even as a kid, I knew that a lot of Kiara's behaviour in this episode was down to the stress of being left in charge of whole kingdom for a few days without her parents around, while still being a cub at this point. I do really like her and it really upsets when I see people hating on her. I don't think Kiara really means to be controlling in this episode, she's just trying to do right by her father while he's gone.
-I like the fact that Kiara is really hesitant and nervous to have a huge weight on her shoulders, a role she was previously really excited to fulfil in the pilot episode. When Simba asks this of her, she's understanding feeling a lot of pressure to make him proud. I like the fact that Simba admits to her that he was also nervous about becoming king the first time. I like this because we only saw the side of him that was cocky, overconfident and optimistic about becoming king. I like the fact that she was nervous and that he decides to be upfront about it.
-Kiara still remained a likable character to me throughout this episode. I like how she starts out as nervous and how her confidence is slowly building up nicely during the episode. But, she never came off as mean-spirited, to me. Also, it becomes clear that the reason her responsibility goes to her head is because of Tiifu and Zuri's influence on her and the Lion Guard's inexperience and, in this case, plot-convenient incompetence.
-Beshte, "I'm sure she'll be a nice queen." Well, I'm glad at least one of you believes in her. I can't tell you guys how much I love Beshte, always the sweetest soul out of the group.
-Ono, "Thank you for the opportunity, my queen. And you.... err..... my Kion." That line was funnier than it had any right to be.
-Speaking of which, I thought seeing Ono in Zazu's position, temporarily for Kiara was interesting and I think was a great use of his character, outside of being a Member of the Lion Guard. I personally would've been down for more scenes like this. I think a cool send off for Ono would've been to have him be the Royal Advisor to Queen Kiara and King Kovu, in the future. I wish Ono had stayed in the Pride Lands in the series finale and had become Zazu's apprentice or something.
-Bunga, "Your majesty." {bows at Kiara}. Kiara, "Bunga, that's really not necessary." I found that whole interaction surprisingly funny. Also, strong feeling that Bunga has a huge crush on his best friend's sister at this point, and Kiara views him as her friend, nothing more.
-Kiara's plan about the Bees and the Eelands fiasco was actually very smart, and even when I saw this as a kid, I knew that she had a better idea than Kion. Her idea about moving the eelands away from bees' nests is smarter because bees obviously sting when angered. So, Kion was too proud to admit Kiara had the better idea.
-One of the funniest parts of the whole episode for me was Kion saying, "I say we move the bees". Then, the scene cuts to Kion, Beshte, Fuli and Ono running away from a swarm of bees, in terror. I obviously don't want them hurt, but, I just had to laugh because it was so predictable.
-Bunga, "What are you guys running for? Bees taste even better when they're mad!" Accurate behaviour from a honey badger. They can raid beehives without being stung due to their very thick hide and their stink sap.
-When the Lion Guard arrived back at Pride Rock covered in bee stings, if I were Kiara, I'd be laughing in Kion's face at that moment, like "Ha, ha, you were wrong. Only an idiot would decide to move a swarm of bees to a new place." But, in fairness, Kiara was right to be mad at him, in that moment, for his little screw up.
-"It wasn't a total disaster," Kion, while talking to Kiara. Kiara, looks at Fuli and Ono scratching themselves, "Really? It looks pretty total to me." I mean, she does have a point there. In this situation, Kion had everything to gain from taking her advice.
-However, I do like the fact this episode shows that Kiara and Kion are not perfect leaders yet, they're still fairly young and are only just finding their feet, so it's natural for them to have some minor slip ups, that they learn from, like every kid does.
-"Admit it. I was right about the bees and you were wrong." Kion, just admit it and save yourself the embarrassment. Kiara was not being rude to him whatsoever. She was speaking nothing but facts.
-When Kiara talks to Mzingo at Pride Rock, I like the fact that the latter is clearly higher up in the frame because he's the one dominating the conversation and is also the one who manipulates Kiara. I think it's a nice touch where he creepily approaches and blackmails her.
-*laughs "Janja wants peace?" I like the fact that Kiara is clearly sceptical and she's obviously suspicious of Janja's true intentions. I like this because it doesn't make Kiara out to be seriously wayyy too gullible and silly. The fact that was she was suspicious feels more in-line with TLK 2 and makes her decision to believe Janja, partially Kion's fault. Manipulation is also a very powerful tool, especially to done on a semi-young child, like Kiara.
-I like the fact that Mufasa appears to Kion, unprompted in this episode, for the first time in the series. I love this because it feels like Mufasa saw the argument that had just gone down and was like, "Right I need to put an end to this sibling drama before it gets out of hand. I need to make Kion see the error of his ways."
-I actually love the fact that Kiara is, at least partially willing, to give Outlanders a chance for peace. It feels like a nice bit of foreshadowing for her character arc in TLK 2, where she was able to give the Outsider lions a chance to fit in.
-Kion angrily to Tiifu and Zuri, "Ugh! Some advisors you two are!" That was more hilarious than it had any right to be. Because, let's be honest, they were pretty obnoxious in this episode.
-"Get away from the Queen!!!!" I actually love the moment where Kion comes bursting in like a superhero, to his sister's aid. I also love the fact that he calls Kiara his queen, at this point, because he clearly listened to Mufasa's advice, and also because he had felt somewhat responsible for her almost being killed by Janja.
-"Oh we can fight all right!!!" So badass. I personally would've loved to see Kiara fight alongside the Lion Guard. I think it would've been cool to see her help to fight off Janja's clan. I wanted to see what she could do.
-"Six on six..... Forget it!!!!" Yeah, you better run, Janja, you don't stand a chance against all six of these heroic friends. And one of them is a bloody hippo.
-I love Kion and Kiara's closeness at the end of the episode where they make up for their uncivil, squabbling at the start. Kion finally rightfully admits that he should've taken Kiara's advice about the bees and the elands, and Kiara admits that Kion was right about Janja being nothing but trouble.
-Kion, "And I should've listened to you about the bees." Ono, "Oh, sure {rolls his eyes}. Now he admits it." Oh, Ono, you knew all along, but, we love you.
-Kiara and Kion when Simba and Nala arrive home, are really sweet. I love the fact that Kiara wants to be honest about what happened, "Ruling the Pride Lands? It went..." I absolutely love the moment where Kion decides to cover for her and admits that she'll be a great queen, this is an incredibly sweet brother and sister moment. That moment feels like a precursor to the episode "Baboons" and even later "The Trail to Udugu."
-I love the moral of this episode about "being supportive of your loved ones efforts to help, especially when they are wrong," because it applies to both Kiara and Kion in two different situations. Kion was obviously wrong to go against Kiara's advice to move the elands, but, Kiara learned that she should've been more sensitive about that whole situation. But, Kion also learned that if hadn't been so dismissive of her acting queen for a few days and given her his utmost support when she was clearly nervous about ruling the Pride Lands. If Kion and Kiara been more sensitive to each other, then, they would've been able to be in charge of the Pride Lands together instead of arguing. Also, this episode shares another moral, "Communication is key to understanding each other and a successful team." Kiara learns this after Kion saves her and she realises she was wrong about Janja, and Kion learns this when the Lion Guard get stung by bees, and even later when he realises that he was partly to blame for Kiara going into the Outlands, and that if he had been upfront with her instead of outright yelling at her and running out on her, she wouldn't have needed to be rescued. These are two important lessons for kids going through school together, or with siblings and friends.
-Also, Janja is genuinely dangerous and scary in this episode. He traps Kiara in the Outlands to use her as a bargaining chip for Simba or else he and his would eat her. They would've gotten away with it if Kion didn't jump in at the last second. Janja threatened the freaking princess of the Pride Lands! Reason number #50 why he should never be allowed enter the Pride Lands, no matter if he is starving or not, because he clearly cannot be trusted to follow the rules.
-And now I'm finally going to talk about the B-plot of the episode. It wasn't as good the A-plot, in my opinion. I did love the worldbuilding aspect of this episode where we learn that different animals in the Pride Lands have their own customs and traditions that need to be respected. I like the idea of Simba upholding a tradition and it was interesting that he was never trained for it because obviously Mufasa died before he could complete his training.
-I like the idea of Simba, Nala and Zazu going to an elephant funeral. Elephants actually have "funerals" in real life. In real life, if a member of their herd dies, the elephants will crowd around them ceremoniously to pay tribute and they'll collect twigs and branches to cover the fallen elephant to pay tribute, out of respect for them. I love the way its portrayed as a ceremonial funeral in The Lion Guard and that Simba is upholding a tradition. I love the way he has to say it in Elephantese because the idea of the elephants' having a language barrier is a cool worldbuilding element.
-Aminifu is a cool worldbuilding character too who, we're told, played a big part in the Pride Lands' revival and bringing the circle of life into balance. I like to headcanon we was a childhood friend of Mufasa and Scar, and the rest of the Royal Family, and how he go on to be a good friend to Simba, Nala and the rest of Simba's pride. I like to think Aminifu was responsible for all the animals in the kingdom, similar to the Lion Guard, and how his daughter fills that role in Season 2.
-The Elephant Funeral scene looks cool because of how emotional and how heart-wrenching it looks from afar. I like the addition of all the elephants mourning in the background. It was a little dark this early on the series. One elephant hugs Aminifu and looks like their going to cry, another elephant and her calf are crying, while hugging each other.
-I like how you can see shades of Mufasa's death through Simba's voice in this episode, such as, "And now Aminifu has completely his part of the circle of life," and "Well, time for the tribute." I like this because I like to think Simba is obviously nervous about performing a eulogy in front of elephants, but, probably also a bit upset and mourning over his own father's death. I mean, in fairness, he never to give his father a proper send off when he died, so, this probably hit even harder for him.
-I like how this is Zazu's first main character moment in the series and how much of a hard worker and a loyal he is to Simba and Nala, his whole motivation is just to help Simba learn Elephantese properly so he can impress Ma Tembo's herd, during the tribute.
-Nala is such a sweetheart and a loving partner to Simba. I love her because she's pretty much exactly how she was in the original film. She's his loving and supportive wife, and I love the way he gives him moral support when he gets nervous. I love her snarky jab at her husband early on the episode too, by the way, "Worried about Kiara? Or are you worried about your tribute?"
-The song "Duties of the King" was decent enough, I suppose. I mean, it's not my favourite song in the series and I wouldn't be reaching for it. But, I don't hate it. I like the more cutesy, "miscellaneous" animals shown in the background, like the chimpanzees and the porcupines. Plus, it's nice to know that Simba doesn't just sit on his ass all day and that he does important jobs, like he assigns gazelles to their grazing grounds and songbirds to their trees. I love that he presides over aardvark wedding rites and then we saw Muhanga and Muhangus kissing behind some grass. So, I wonder if Simba did in fact, preside over their wedding before this episode. Overall, I like the cute scenes of this song and I like the fact that Simba actually has important stuff to do. I can see why kids would dance around to this song because it's very bouncy and energetic. The beat is fine, but, I don't like Rob Lowe's singing voice as Simba. I think they should've used Cam Clarke all along for The Lion Guard, who actually voices Mwoga the vulture. I don't mind the beat, but, I don't think Simba and Zazu are the best singers, at least in this series, that is. I'll give it a 5/10 because there are worse songs than it.
-Ma Tembo is such a sweetheart in this episode and I love her. She doesn't have a major role in the series as of yet, but, it's still clear in this episode that she has a great relationship with Simba and the Royal Family. I'm glad she had a bigger part in Season 2. I also love her voice actress, Lynette DuPree (R.I.P) and I think she's one of the best in the series. I love how she makes her sound genuinely sad during the procession and then a little bittersweet during the "poop" scene. Also, shout out to the moment where she wraps her trunk around Simba.
-Also, call me childish if you want to, but I actually love it when Simba actually says that Aminifu had "poop on him". I mean, it just gets me because that's not something you'd say at a funeral and the fact that the elephants took it really well and actually laughed hysterically is genuinely hilarious. Like, even his daughter admitted that he had always had faeces on him. It was funny because of how much Simba feels like he screwed up, but, then, the elephants had a really good sense of humour about it.
-Also, this episode makes me wish that at least someone went to the Elephant Graveyard during this series. Maybe Aminifu's funeral could've been there and Simba and Nala would've had to go the place where they almost got killed as cubs or maybe even Kion and the Lion Guard would have to go there. It's such a missed opportunity. Or if Janja went there then maybe he could've learn that Scar betrayed his ancestors long before the events of The Lion Guard. But, speaking of the Elephant Graveyard, I bet Ma Tembo's herd are going to wait for Aminifu to decompose and then carry his remains to the Graveyard because that's something that elephants do if a member of their herd dies outside of their designated area. I like to think that that's what happened after this episode. I just wish they had the funeral in the Elephant Graveyard and we got to see Simba and Nala go there as adults, but, I'm not going to fault this episode for not going in this direction.
-Zazu, "I'm not sure Sire, but, I think you just said he had.... {quietly} poop on him...." Try not to judge me too harshly, but, I just find poop jokes hilarious for some reason, as an adult.
Cons
-First off, I don't like how Kion and Kiara were both dumbed down for the sake of plot-convenience for much of this episode. I get that they're still kids, but, Kion's plans to move the bees instead of the elands was the most stupid idea I've seen in the series. The literally just had an episode where Kion calls out his best friend, Bunga, for making bad decisions and now it's Kion who made a really dumb decision. I mean, that should be bee rescue 101, don't try to move a swarm of bees, they do not like, and the fact that Kiara spells it out for them before this scene, "....if the elands step on the beehives, they'll get stung.... there could be chaos." She's speaking nothing but facts. Kion should've realised that they shouldn't have tried to aggravate the bees. I don't like the fact that he acts cocky and dismissive towards Kiara, when she was so obviously right. However, Kiara was dumb to go into the Outlands alone to see Janja. I mean, I admire her willingness to give strangers a chance for peace, but the fact that she had her suspicions about him and she already knew what he was like, in accordance to the pilot episode, wouldn't she see reason to bring Tiifu and Zuri along for backup.
-I don't like how this episode seems to indicate that Simba favours his daughter over his son. Between the pilot episode and this episode, it seems like he sees Kion as a just a Child Soldier and doesn't actually love him equally. I know it's obviously not through, but, I don't like how he gives off an impression that he has favourites. Parents don't have favourites, unless you're an evil lioness named Zira and you give your youngest son everything, but then treat your eldest son like dirt. But, Simba isn't like that. I don't like how he says "I have faith in you," in such a way that gives off Parental Favouritism vibes. I'm really glad he doesn't have this in any of the later episodes.
-I hate the way the writers tried to do the Kion/Scar and Kiara/Mufasa parallels in this episode. I just don't like it being used as a plot device. The series makes a point to say that Kion is nothing like Scar and how he would never take his anger out on his family and friends. I don't mind Kiara being like her grandfather because he was a great king in his day, but, I don't like how the writers made Kion and Kiara have a similar relationship that led to Mufasa's fall. Also, one thing I loathed early on in the series is the fanart of Kion brutally murdering Kiara in rage, just like Scar murdered Mufasa. I just hate it so much because it would happen since Kiara and Kion have a caring relationship, where they do bicker like siblings tend to do, but, they would never turn on each other.
-I don't like the part where Kiara and Kion were outright malicious towards each other. All the lion cubs in this episode were quite mean-spirited at times. Kion and Kiara for obviously constantly fighting and being horrible instead of admitting to being wrong in certain situations, like the bees and the elands and the Janja situation. Kion is too cocky and overconfident about the bees, for my liking, and Kiara allows Tiifu and Zuri's influence to get her head and ends up believing she's always right. Kion only adds fuel to the fire by yelling at Kiara and then callously running out her instead of being upfront with her about Janja's true intentions. I get that siblings don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but, I don't like Kion and Kiara constantly being scumbags to each other and not giving things a second thought until the end. Mufasa had to be the one to put an end to the "sibling drama".
-Tiifu and Zuri were the worst of all, in my opinion, and I think all of you guys will agree. They were pretty annoying and obnoxious in this episode. They were very disrespectful and condescending towards Kion just because he's not a queen, and they caused Kiara to be disrespectful right back. Kiara doesn't strike me as disrespectful without these two around. I'm glad she actually stands up to them in later episodes rather than being influenced by them. Zuri is my least favourite of the two of them, she comes off as super mean-spirited and bitchy, and Tiifu comes off as domineering and rude. I don't like the way they talk down and belittle Kion and how they throw shade at anyone who believes Kiara is wrong. They act like stereotypical Mean Girls, but, the annoying kind. Plus, they weren't very good friends to Kiara for letting her go into the Outlands alone without a second thought about the fact that it might be dangerous. That doesn't sound like Tiifu. Remember how in the pilot, she was deeply concerned when Kiara was trapped by the gazelles. But, here, the stakes are much higher, and she's up against a much bigger threat and Tiifu and Zuri don't seem to give a damn. I'm glad Kion called them out on this behaviour before leaving. What I wouldn't give for Tiifu and Zuri to be captured by Janja instead, not to get eaten, but just so they can see how dangerous it is. It's episodes like this that make me wonder are they her actual best friends or are they just using her to hang out with the Royal Family. Kiara deserves better than these self-entitled bitches, in my opinion.
-I feel like Kiara should've been the main focus of this episode instead of Kion. I know this only S1 Ep4, but, I still think this should've been a Kiara focused episode, rather than a brothesister episode. I would've been interested to see Kiara take centre stage and the Lion Guard take a back seat. Then, we could've seen more of Kiara's apprehension about becoming Queen and her trying to make all the decisions without Simba around to guide her, and most importantly, see her trying to decide what sort of Queen she wants to be. I would've loved if Kion tried to be supportive of her and tries to help her watch over the entire kingdom, instead of saying "Screw you Kiara, go get herself killed if you want to and my friends hate you." I would've liked to see that explored and maybe have them be a little bit annoyed at each other, but without making them really malicious. Also, have Tiifu and Zuri be in their annoying phase and for Kiara to realise that her "so-called" friends are not being very good friends to her, and have her ditch those bitches at the end of the episode. Then, have Kiara and Kion make some big decision together that really develops their relationship, in the future.
-I don't like how Simba is portrayed for much of this episode. I know, he was mourning the loss of an old friend, but I really don't like angry Simba moments in this series. I don't like the fact that all Zazu was doing was trying to help him practice his eulogy and Simba gets frustrated and roars in his face. I hate it when he throws tantrums, as a full-grown adult lion. I hate the idea of Simba regressing more into his evil uncle as of this series. I know he's not, but, I hate it when acts like it. Zazu, bless him, was just trying to help and Simba took out his rage on him. I do not like it when Zazu has to be the butt of all the jokes. I don't like Simba being a headstrong asshole in The Lion Guard.
-I also don't want to point fingers, but, if Simba hadn't left his semi-young daughter to rule over an entire kingdom for a few days, none of the conflict would've happened if he left Kion and Kiara with a responsible adult, like Rafiki or Basi or someone, just to keep an eye on things. I wouldn't leave kids their age home alone for even a day or more than an afternoon. If they had an adult in Pride Rock with them, the arguing wouldn't have spiralled out of control the way that it did. Also, this makes no sense with Simba's character in TLK 2. This is the same guy who sheltered his daughter the whole time she was growing up and wouldn't even let her explore more than 2ft from Pride Rock or even leave Pride Rock, at another point in the film. In this episode, she's still a cub and he's okay with leaving her to look after an entire kingdom for days on end! Yes, he did show hesitation, but that was after he and Nala had already left the Pride Lands. This episode fails to show just how okay he was with leaving his preteen daughter in charge of the kingdom for a few days with no adult supervision. Also, this episode and the series fails to explain how he regressed back into his over-protective state of mind in the second half of TLK 2.
-A minor complaint I have. This is a very minor nitpick. But, the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands that was established in this episode is very confusing. This episode implies that the elephants live approximately a two or three day walk from the Pride Lands, enough for Simba to outside of the kingdom, when in other episodes it's actually a part of the Pride Lands, just barely on the outskirts of the kingdom. I also don't get why the writers made it seem like Simba, Nala and Zazu took like a day or less to arrive at the elephants' funeral. There's no indication that they were travelling at night or that they ever slept. However, I understand, the writers just wanted to show some of journey and then transition to the day of the funeral, so I won't fault it to harshly. However, I do wish that the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands was consistent. This episode makes it seem like that whenever Kion and his friends have to help the elephants, it would take them a whole day to arrive on the scene. But, that's just a small criticism I had with this episode.
Overall
So, overall, I did always thoroughly enjoy this episode. Even as a kid, I could not stand the fact that Kiara got a lot of hate in the Lion Guard Fandom and that loads of people blamed her, just her, for a lot of the drama in this episode. Kion and Kiara shared 50% of the blame each and I think that Kiara is overhated. Anyways, I did like Kion and Kiara interacting like real siblings and slowly learning how to work together, it felt a little bit like a prequel to "Baboons" and "The Trail to Udugu", in that way. I like the lesson about learning to communicate well and to listen to one another and that they were both in the right and wrong, at different points. I liked the loving sibling dynamic at the end and the friendship with all the Lion Guard. I like the sense of family between Simba, Nala, Kiara and Kion at the end. Janja poses as a genuinely threat to Kiara. I think the humour was pretty solid as well and the educational value. I liked the worldbuilding aspect and the elephants' relationship with the lions. Aminifu is a cool headcanon character. The only parts I didn't like were, Tiifu and Zuri were unbearably annoying in this episode and weren't very good friends to Kiara. I don't like them being stereotypical Middle School girls. I hate their disrespect and belittling towards Kion and their toxic influence on Kiara. I didn't like Kiara and Kion's maliciousness at the start or the fact that the writers tried to draw Mufasa/Scar parallels. I don't like angry Simba at all in this series. I hate the fact that he gives off Parental Favouritism vibes in this episode. I don't like the fact that Kion and Kiara were hit with the idiot stick in this episode. Simba and Tiifu and Zuri are kind of at fault for all the drama in this episode. The song was just decent, not the best not the worst. Overall, I'll give this episode a 6.5/10, it's not perfect, but I think it deserves more love in the fandom and I think there are way worse episodes than it.

This analysis also comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Shakubuku: A Study of the Nichiren Shoshu Buddhist Movement in America, 1960-1975", David A. Snow, 1993, pp. 175-177 - it's a section within the analysis here about how the SGI's "discussion meetings" were carefully planned and choreographed sales pitch performances aimed at convincing any "guests" to convert. I thought this part about the carefully structured "experiences" deserved its own post:

In addition to the general supportive role, members are provided with instructions regarding the more specific role activity. That is, they are coached as to how to give explanations of what NSA [former name of SGI-USA] is all about, to lead songs, and to give testimonies. Regarding the latter, for example, members are reminded to respond to the emcee's request for experiences with great alacrity and enthusiasm by thrusting their hands in the air in a vigorous manner and yelling out "hi."

Actually, it's "Hai!", which means "Yes/Okay/I'll do it" in Japanese.

And if called upon, they are reminded to attend to the five major points or the "five S's" of giving a good experience.

That "coaching" is done before the live performance at the "discussion meeting", of course, not reminded within that performance context. That would break the illusion, as you can imagine.

The first point is Shakubuku. Remember, the guests have absolutely no understanding of this practice or any NSA terminology. Always talk to the guests and not to the members. The sole purpose of an experience is to make the guests curious enough to join ... Don't use Buddhist terms and names the guests won't understand...
Point number two is story. Make sure an experience is just that - something which happened to you and which you either changed into a benefit or changed an aspect of your life-condition through chanting. Basically , an experience should be structured as
(a) I had a problem or I was satisfied [sic] with my life and

That's obviously a typo; it should be either "I wasn't satisfied with my life" or "I was dissatisfied with my life", as confirmed by part (b):

(b) then I chanted, solved the problem or changed that aspect of my life which I wasn't satisfied with...
Make sure that you stress that chanting was the ingredient which changed those aspects of your life. Otherwise, the guests won't be able to connect just how chanting and a person's problems relate.
The third point to keep in mind is simplicity. Make each point of the story simple and to the point. Don't clutter the issue with unnecessary details. Try to be as brief as possible.
The fourth point is that of a seeking mind. What this means is that the person giving an experience should try to find out what type of experience the leader wants to have conveyed to the guests that will most benefit them.

Clearly, this is all about crafting the most persuasive sales pitch, not about honestly and authentically communicating anything real.

We're not saying that there is a "one" type of experience that is sought, but experiences have to be geared to the guests at the meeting. A middle-aged person is definitely going to have hard time relating to the change in values of a college student... The point is, make sure you are perceptive enough to give the type of experience which the guests at the meeting can relate to best.

Keeping in mind that no one knows for certain WHO these "guests" will be - this sort of "adjustment" in the details has to be made on the fly, which demonstrates the inauthenticity of the "experience" performance. But the culties are supposed to make it appear "authentic":

The final point is one of the most important - sincerity ... Even if your experience isn't that spectacular or full of content, the guests can relate to a person' [sic] sincere way of giving the experience...

The "5 S's" section is footnoted as coming from:

"The Five S's of Giving a Good Experience," World Tribune (September 11, 1974). Also, see the NSA Quarterly (Winter, 1975), p. 13; and the World Tribune (October 25, 1974).

It was obviously a structured thing that was explicitly taught (indoctrinated).

These five pointers on how to construct and give a "good" experience are mentioned repeatedly in the movement's literature and by its leaders. Furthermore, members can learn how to construct testimonies in accordance with these instructions by simply watching and listening to other members, and especially core converts, when giving their respective experiences.

You can probably surmise that after a while, these "experiences" will all start to show the same standardized structure; this will be accepted within the cult (because that's the goal), but the guests won't realize just how structured it is - and the focus on making it as manipulative as possible.

Indeed, rank-and-file members and new converts are often told to watch and listen to how so-and-so gives an experience.

That's true - I remember that.

It should thus come as no surprise that the testimonies given at these meetings, or wherever, are usually structured in accordance with the above pointers or instructions. And when they are not, the violators are usually pulled aside after the meeting and provided with corrective suggestions. At the end of several meetings, for example, I overheard the district chief reprimanding and re-instructing members regarding the unsuitable testimonies they had given earlier in the evening. This sanctioning and corrective work occurs not only when unsatisfactory testimonies are given but whenever meeting or movement-related roles are performed in an unsatisfactory manner and whenever members visibly engage in conduct that is inappropriate from the standpoint of NSA. During the San Diego Convention weekend, for example, I observed on several occasions members who were being brought back into line for engaging in unbecoming conduct, such as smoking grass on the bus while en route to the convention. That members who conduct themselves and perform their roles in an unsuitable and unconvincing manner are frequently pulled aside and provided with corrective guidance thus suggests a third consideration pointing to the highly orchestrated and theatrical character of discussion meetings in particular and of NSA in general.

Everyone must be "on" at all times; they must at all times display the SGI-defined image that SGI believes will impress the public and be most appealing to draw in potential new members.
While these specific "five S's" aren't around any more, there are still guidelines for how to give an "experience":

How do I write an experience for SGI budhist meeting?
State the difficulty you faced.
State how long you have been struggling with it, and how it affected you.
State what you did to resolve it, and how much you chanted.
State the resolution, and what that means to you.
Keep it to under 3.5 minutes.
Before you give your experience, read it to someone who cares about you, someone you know, and ask for an honest opinion on how your delivery is. from 7 years ago

REHEARSE it, in other words. These "experiences" are NOT spontaneous!

Before I start this, I just want to answer some question I know I’ll probably have to answer later, or share some information that might be important.

1. I have gone no contact with him. (He tries to bait me into talking to him.) Only my friend group knows about the alcohol.
   
2. I know for a fact he drinks, I was with him once when he did it.
   
3. It’s not his parent’s fault, he sneaks it from open vodka bottles in their refrigerator.
   
4. I know he is drinking while underage, I plan to report him to the school counselor if he doesn’t seek help.
   
5. We’re both gay, though I do not like him like that in any way shape or form. He swears up and down he doesn’t like me like that either, but take that how you will.
   
6. He has allegedly been drinking since he was 7. I can neither confirm nor deny this.
   
7. He blames all of his problems on the alcohol.
   

I, 16m, was friends with another boy, 15m, for roughly 4 years. We used to call each other every day to play games. Every single day for 4 years. Everything was fine until I started hanging out with our other (mutual) friends.
After I started hanging out with other people, he began to get very jealous and bitter towards me and the friend I was talking to. He would act annoyed and upset whenever I would do things with my other friends, even though it’s the same things I would do with him. This is when the arguing began. He would make snarky comments toward me indirectly through his bio on either a game we play together or the app we use to text and call. He would always deny that it is about me, even if it was blatantly obvious. (For example, I used to give myself nicknames on the game we play together. He combined the starting letter of the 3 I've used and said something along the lines of “ABC gave me everything but real love.”)
We would argue like this and he would come to school like nothing happened and act friendly towards me, even if it was obvious that I didn’t want to act friendly with him. He would also frequently block me for absolutely no reason, and unblock me after a few hours. If I asked for a reason, he would get mad and change the subject. Of course, I got tired of this and blocked him back one day. To nobody’s surprise, the next day at school he was talking to me and making jokes like absolutely nothing happened.
One day, he even decided it would be a great idea to ignore me while I was sitting right next to him. I would talk to him, wave my hand in front of him to get his attention, and even tap his shoulder. No response. I obviously got fed up with him and let my friends know in a group chat that he isn’t in what was going on incase they were curious why either of us were annoyed. (This wasn't the best idea, I know, however he gets mad when I hang out or talk to them differently than I do with him so the most logical thing to do was to not let him know when I hang out or text with them.)
Before this next part, I have to go back a little bit. Because we would play games together, we would log into each other’s account to farm or grind for something the other wants. This lead to him knowing my password and email. Since he saw me typing on my phone, he saw the group chat that doesn’t have him in it. He took that as a sign that I was talking shit about him to our friends (I truly was not.) and decided to try and hack my account. Luckily, I’ve always used a secondary email on the games we play, so he only got my old account.
Not knowing that this happened, I forgave him for everything that he did prior. A few days later, at the end of school before I left, we were talking when he said the name of my secondary account. Of course, I asked how he knew about it, and he said he logged in. I obviously got very angry at him for this, as I had not given him permission whatsoever. I told him I would have showed him my messages had he just simply asked. This caused him to get angry at me for being angry at him. (He also got angry at me when he got the notifications that he had been removed from my email. I also changed my passwords, have no fear.)
After discussing this with our mutual friends, they confirmed that what he did was not okay. Because I was getting more distant from him, he thought that he should buddy up to someone else in our friend group. (He barely speaks to anyone else if he doesn’t have to.) Of course, he chose the one person that he supposedly hates based on past events. (Not my story to share, I apologize.)
(I don’t remember this part all too well so take it with a grain of salt.) After a while, I decided to give him another chance. We had a conversation where I brought up all of the issues I had with him in a few paragraphs. (Mainly stuff about boundaries and respecting me. Also for pulling my hair whenever he got the chance even though I told him multiple times on multiple occasions to stop.) His response was changing the subject to something different, and about me. I promptly him shut down, however, as he was bringing up stuff that I didn’t do, insisting that he at least acknowledges his problems instead of pretending everything is fine. This ultimately lead to him getting angry and ending the conversation with his signature “Okay. Bye.”
He then went back to pretending everything was normal with me, though he was talking shit about me in a group chat with our mutual online friends and one of our real life friends (The one he hated that I mentioned previously.) She would tell me everything he said about me, but she didn’t want to get involved so I couldn’t call him out for any of it. At this point, I was just tired of fighting, so I went with it. Many more minor arguments happened after this. I won’t include details for the sake of this post not being too unbearably long, since what happened was basically the previous fight over and over.
A while later, one of our friends called him out for his shit, as I had been letting them know what was going on for every argument we had. He got really heated over this, and told her to kill herself and that he never valued her as a friend. She gave no shits at all. He was promptly removed, or left on his own, from all of the group chats with her in them except our main server. They had each other blocked, though to nobody’s surprise that didn’t stop him from talking about her or to her in the server.
Though 2 out of 5 people in our friend group wanted nothing to do with him, that didn’t stop him from sitting with us and trying to joke around with us like nothing happened. For a while, everything was fine. I wasn’t talking to him, he wasn’t talking to me. Another fight happened between him and the friend he hated before, but that isn’t my story to tell either, sorry. The only thing I can say about the fight is that he mentioned his alcohol addiction.
One thing lead to another and I decided to give him one last chance. Again. So, I had another conversation with him, letting him know that im serious about unfriending him if he doesn’t talk to his therapist about the alcohol, jealousy, and obsession with me.
I gave him until the end of the week to talk to his therapist, or I’m gone. Everything was fine until the weekend. I went on a trip to Dollywood on the weekend, 4 of my friends being there. He of course did not come on the trip, as he isn’t in the school club that took us. I asked him on Sunday if he had talked to his therapist about anything yet, and he had said no. I rightfully blocked him, just as I said I would. He proceeded to play the victim and started asking our friends what he did wrong, pretending that I hadn’t told him anything about blocking him.
I unblocked him momentarily to send a message on why I did it. I told him blatantly that if he didn’t talk to his therapist I would block him, and he did not. I may have been a little harsh with my words, but keep in mind that I have given him many chances to grow and learn from his mistakes that he has not taken. He needs help, and I can’t help him. I wished him the best, but told him that the best is not something I am capable of giving him.
After I blocked him again, he edited one of his messages to “call me out” for not doing what he wanted. He claims that I should’ve just listened to his issues and tell him everything was fine instead of letting him know that what he’s doing is wrong. He doesn’t want help, he wants someone to ignore his problems. I told him that im not that person and im tired of pretending I am. He proceeded to make his bio things along the lines of “You never actually loved me” once more.
After his numerous attempts at getting me to talk to him by making his bio about me, I got fed up. I confronted him, letting him know that I don’t want to be friends with him, I don’t want anything to do with him, and that he needs to stop talking about me in his bio. He of course pretended his issues didn’t exist, instead telling me that he would get help for real this time. I let him know that he just admitted to not trying to get help the first time, and that in lying to me, he broke my trust in him.
Because I knew he wouldn’t try to get help, I blocked him after saying goodbye once more. This is when he started openly shit talking me and the friend that called him out one single time. He changed his bio to things about my body he knew I was insecure about, such as my forehead. While I admit that this wasn’t the best thing to do, I gave him a taste of his own medicine. He’s a bigger individual, and he’s told me that he’s insecure about his weight.
Again, I apologize for what I said to him, I was angry when I said it. He said I have a sixhead, so I retaliated with seventeen stomach and that he can’t be talking about me when he looks 5 years pregnant. I mean no hate to pregnant people, I was angry at him when I said it. I do not condone rudeness towards plus sized or pregnant individuals. Back to the story.
He made a post on a platform we all use about how he hates Taylor Swift fans, especially the blonde ones. (Ironic when he was talking about how he liked her a while ago. Also, the friend that called him out is blonde and a big Taylor Swift fan.) So, in retaliation, our other, OTHER friend commented the username to his twitter account where he actively reposts nsfw images of gay furries, often depicted as children. I was the only person that knew about it, since he reposted such images and showed them to me in class, to my discomfort. I am usually not one to air out dirty laundry like that, however he had done something similar to me a while back, and I honestly didn’t care how it would make him feel.
I took another page out of his book and edited my message since we had each other blocked, telling him to stop shit talking me in his bio, and that I wanted nothing to do with him. Since that happened, he hasn’t made his bio anything about me, instead changing it to some joke about being 5 years pregnant.
Nobody has told me that what I’ve done was wrong, I just would like to make sure that I’m not in the wrong here. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m oddreaction3943 I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying Book Book Page 12**
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m oddreaction3943 I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying Book Book Page 12** Bill’s story
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God? That statement hit me hard. It melted my icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.