Moms teaching son and daughter
Mother In Laws From Hell
2016.02.19 06:46 Allie_Girl Mother In Laws From Hell
Welcome to Mother-In-Laws from Hell! This is a place to vent and get our frustrations out about our less-than-pleasant situations. Let’s help each other, and find ways to outsmart our hellish MIL's. The rules are simple...
2015.01.14 03:13 HereticS1xth Schitt's Creek
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2015.09.21 22:33 auriem just NO! family
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2024.05.14 17:49 Unhappy_Ad8839 civil matter?
I'm legal disabled, and receive benefits monthly. Since the age of 18 i have had a state appointed "payee". All my expenses are monitored and payed for by my Payee. Other than requesting money for personal expenses. Everything is on a schedule that is overseen by my Payee. I rarely know the exact balance in my account. And used to never worried about it, i knew my budget and knew all my bills were covered. However this all changed roughly 2 years ago.
I had asked my Payee my balance, and she had responded with a figure that was close too $13,000.00 less than what I believed it should be at. My Payee, assured me that she would look into what the issue was/if any. But not to worry. The next time we spoke I was informed that my benefits were being sent to a unaffiliated personal bank account, and had been sent to that account for the last 11 months. When I inquired who would be able too approve such an important decision and why I was not informed or asked to verify, and as my Payee why it wasn't caught immediately. Since after all that's start they are appointed to do. Protect, and assist. And remove and worries or concerns of handling major finicial obligations, so as to not risk myself being without residents, food, phone, water, child care. Or even more important compromising my ability to efficiently provide for my daughter. I was told that Social security was the only one that could approve the change, and that she was never contacted. Therefore I was never contacted, no notice or mail, funds were sent too my Payee for a total of 11 months.
I was then told that it "just wasn't noticed" as a result of having to wait for everything to be resolved, and it being a legal matter and Social security stating to detectives that they didn't have any "notes" in there system. I was without 13000.00 and in the midst of dealing with custody and having to travel across the country, all while being behind on bills, and not being able to offered legal fees. By the time the money was returned, I only received $10,000 had to catch up on legal fees and fees inquired. I had nothing to be she to fix my vehicle, retain a lawyer or travel across the country too be with my then 2 yo daughter, who after 2+ years of trying to reverse custody that was granted to daughters grandma by daughters mother even though I had raised our daughter her some life and had never agreed, and was never aware that a trip too "see family" would result in me no longer having custody, and being told that it was a matter that had to be dealt with in New york, I fought for 23+months until I didn't have a cent left. I continue to fight. But Honestly it's 4 people in the court vs me. And I have no lawyer. All I'm asking for is to be given 50/50 custody. And that my daughter come back to where she lived since she was an infant where her mom and I lived and were raising her. But the only reason for that to be opposed is that I have no immediate family, and being a single father is difficult, as well as it being a "huge change " in my daughters environment which I have petitioned ever since the original emergency guardianship granting appearance. But have never been so much as acknowledged by the court besides my attendance as the minor child biological father being addressed. Never once were any of my multiple petitions discussed. And court was/has/and is continued in order for my daughters mother can meet obligations, and nothing I have ever submitted to the court as well as the law guardian has never been brought up. I need to know if I have a civil suite against my Payee? I feel as if it was a complete disaster and irresponsible that this was even able to happen, and even though they arrested the person responsible, no prison time or probation was sentenced, restitution was paid and I had never received a penny of it. I no longer trust my Payee or social security to prevent my benefits from being stolen, or if I will be able too raise my daughter without flying 2500 miles if I want too see her. Please help. Thank you very much. I know it's very lengthy, but i have been devastated and struggling alone since Jan 1, 2021. Thank you all for letting me write this in a safe place regardless of there is any solution.
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2024.05.14 17:47 Independent_World915 My partner does not love me at all
Hello Reddit. First time to post here. I badly need advise but dont want to tell my friends and family about this.
My partner (37m) does not love me(30f) at all. We’re together 7 years and we have a son (5m) Im trying to figure out what his love language is, and I realized that the reason why I cant figure it out is because he doesnt feel anything for me.
I feel so trapped in our relationship even if we’re not married. I dont want my son to not have a father. But Im not happy anymore. I feel so little and so lonely and so unloved.
Just this mother’s day, he wouldnt have greeted me if I havent reminded him to greet his mom. When he’s away for work, (he’s an owneoperator of our van rental) he would never update me but I could see his messenger that he updates his friend group about his whereabouts. I told him many times to atleast update me whenever he stops somewhere because I worry about him, but he always says that he’s busy driving (but he could update his friends. Lol). So I stopped bothering him when he’s away. We used to argue about this but I taught myself to not care so much cause he doesnt.
One time he went to his aunt’s funeral for 2 days without updating me. (My son and I couldnt go). No calls, no texts, no chats. None at all. But I saw from his brother’s facebook live that he’s always holding his phone. When he got home, I asked him if it is so hard for him to check up on me and our child. Of course his response was that he’s busy with whatever he is doing there. I pointed out that I saw him holding his phone all the time but not once did he bother checking on us. He snapped at me and I dropped the issue.
He’s never intimate with me. Im not just talking about sex, but in all aspects. He doesnt like talking to me, he’s always on his phone. He doesnt hug or kiss me, I dont even remember a time when he held my hand, or walk beside me whenever we’re out. He never looks at me when we’re crossing the street. Whenever I ask him to pass me something, he wont give it to me directly, he will set it down within my reach even if handing it to me is easier. He always avoid my kisses and hugs. Either telling me that he havent showered yet or that the weather is too hot for all that. Lol. Sex was never great. He’s selfish.
I could never cry in front of him. When my father died in 2020, he wasnt even there for me. He left for work when he could’ve given the booking to one of his friends. Months after my dad died, I am still grieving and he asked me what Im crying about. He sees crying as weakness. He’s so insensitive to my feelings that I run and hide whenever I cry about something.
We dont really argue anymore. The only reason that our relationship is quiet is because we dont talk about our issues, instead we bury it. He is more like a roommate to me than a partner.
I always wonder what our lives would be once I leave him, but my heart really aches whenever I think of my son. He is still a loving father to him.
I dont really know what to do or how to start again. I dont believe in love and in marriage because of him. I dont know how to endure more years of this torture. I feel so trapped and drowing from all this negative emotions that I tried to hide from everyone. Both our families ask me when we would get married. I really dont know how to answer them so i would just change topic. If I get cornered, I just end up raising my voice telling them that I DONT WANT TO.
I know people will tell me that im stupid for staying despite of what Im feeling but my heart would ache more if I see my child asking about his father. They are close. I dont want to take that love away from my son.
I badly need advise as to what i can do. I feel lost. Please help me find my way again. Thank you.
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2024.05.14 17:47 Putrid-Ad-3965 Am I 'F39' wrong for telling my long distance BF 'M44' that he needs to sort things out with the ex wife '40F' Before I move there?
I'm in a long distance relationship, my BF has a 13 year old son. I have a 16 year old son. I have flown out there and spent time with them and love where he lives and we loosely have future plans of moving in to be together. I adore his son. Normally I don't date men with kids, specifically because I don't want to deal with the stress of "a crazy ex". My son's father is not in the picture at all. Initially he told me he's a single parent, the mom isn't really involved. Well, she is remarried and has 2 small kids. She lives about an hour away from him. And she's not involved, in any capacity that a mom Normally would be. No split custody, none of that. He's the full time parent. She has bipolar disorder and is unmedicated and is constantly making up new issues and problems, which she shares with their 13 year old son. As in she's planning to move to Texas... a few weeks later she's diagnosed herself with autism, a few weeks later she's moving to Ohio. She shares these things on the phone with her son or when he sees her in person, because my BF takes their son to her younger kids (his child's half siblings) baseball games some weekends. In 3 months the mom has not once ever picked their son up. Hasn't spent the night with him, he doesn't even have a room or bed at his mom's house. When they see each other or talk, the son usually ends up very upset. Which of course I hear all about because it's an all day upset thing. But nothing changes.
An argument happened last night between me and the bf because I told him if I move there, I'm not going to want to go to these games or be involved with her at all and honestly it bothers me that he requires nothing of her, she can't even bother to pick up her own son, ever, to spend time with her or his little siblings and she upsets him constantly and that's not cool. He said she may move away soon and then it won't matter. True....but I can't plan my life and move around what she may or may not do. So, if I move there is he going to be spending both his days off going to take his son to see them? (This past weekend was a baseball game Saturday then they brought her mother's day gifts Sunday).
He says if I move there and she doesn't move....then he will tell her his life has changed and he can no longer make accommodations for her and she needs to pick up her son. And if she doesn't, oh well. This will be fine (he says) because his son will have a new and better motherly figure. But right now they will take whatever they can get as far as him seeing his mom, which is the current situation. He will tell her to "step up her game or be out of the picture" due to me.
I intensly dislike this. I told him no, I am NOT your sons replacement Mom. I'll never be his mom. I love him, I'll be there for him, I'll treat him like my own, but to wait to make any changes until I'm there is wrong. He should be telling her that she needs to take responsibility in spending time with her son now and not expect him to do it all, just for the 13 year old to end up upset every time anyway. I feel like he's planning to use me to make her jealous? He would say he's not.
Last night when we started this conversation his son interrupted him and was saying something about "Mom won't let me download the McDonald's app on my phone". I was like what? He said since she pays no child support she pays his phone bill. She has control over what apps he can use (and probably can read all his texts, etc too if I had to guess). I was like wowwww. So she's not even much of a Mom at all, but pays his phone bill and provides his phone so she can be controlling! That's crazy. It's not a lack of money issue, my BF makes over 6 figures and can afford a phone for his son.
Is this all too much or am I being a jerk?
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2024.05.14 17:47 IAmTheCurtis 🐈 HR Jobs Alert - 🐓 May 14, 2024
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2024.05.14 17:47 IAmTheCurtis 🐈 HR Jobs Alert - 🐓 May 14, 2024
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2024.05.14 17:47 IAmTheCurtis 🐈 HR Jobs Alert - 🐓 May 14, 2024
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2024.05.14 17:47 IAmTheCurtis 🐈 HR Jobs Alert - 🐓 May 14, 2024
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2024.05.14 17:44 Pale_Confidence8451 How was your Mother’s Day?
I’m still feeling down in the dumps about how my Mother’s Day went. He told me HMD in the most ugly forceful and unloving way. Just like yelled it at me. He left early in the morning to go hangout with the neighbor at his house. So no sleeping in which I didn’t expect to get to. I had to do everything around the house. Didn’t get a break. Later in the day he called one of his friends and his friends wife was in the car as well. He literally told her “happy Mother’s Day mama” I lost my shit. My heart sank to my stomach. He treats everyone else so much better than he treat me. Obviously didn’t get any cute surprises which it’s not like I want to be showered in gifts I just want to feel appreciated. Even a simple coffe in the morning. We went to Home Depot to get some plants that he’s been wanting and we’re tight on money so I didn’t choose the plants I’d want because he was grabbing so much. In the car he told me stop worrying about fcking money, get what the fck you want it’s fcking Mother’s Day. I just stayed silent and drove home. Later that night he went back over to the neighbors. It was a tough day to begin with because it’s only my second Mother’s Day since my mom has passed. I just Made the most of the day with my son, doing crafts and just being together alone like always. I just can’t shake this feeling that he truly doesn’t give a f***. I mean it’s clear as day but idk what to do. I could go on and on but it would be too long . I’m in the mode of just Iike “blah” it that even makes sense, I feel like I’m in robot mode. My heart fcking hurts
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2024.05.14 17:43 FlanneryOG Choosing between two daycares
Hello! I am moving my two-year-old son to a new daycare soon because my daughter will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and their current daycare is too far away. I'm on the fence about which one to choose.
Daycare 1 is a corporate daycare run by the same company that operates the daycare we currently attend. Their center is smaller and a mile from our house, and they provide lunch and snacks. When I toured, the director seemed lovely and supportive, and the facility was nice. However, it was a little chaotic in the classrooms, and it kind of seemed like the kids were merely being watched, not led.
Daycare 2 is an independently ran center that is slightly farther away. (Think an additional five minutes of driving each way, although it is out of the way). It is also smaller, but they have an incredible outdoor space with big trees to climb on, hills to run up, and mud kitchens to play in. They go outside four times a day. The teachers have been there since the center opened, and everything was controlled when I toured without being strict or anything. I could just tell that they provide the right amount of guidance and direction without stifling creativity. The quality of care was clearly better. However, in addition to being slightly farther away, we would have to make lunches every day.
Tuition is about the same, although Daycare 2 is slightly more expensive, and they have more breaks in care than Daycare 1. They have a week off in August, for example, and pretty much take every bank holiday off. That's doable but not ideal.
I'm leaning toward Daycare 2 because of the quality of care, but I'm worried that my husband and I will be overwhelmed with making lunches, and that the extra driving and breaks in care will be hard on us. It seems worth it for better quality of care, but maybe not? What do you all think?
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2024.05.14 17:43 Otherwise-File5199 AITA for setting up a “just in case” fund for my daughter?
My daughter has been married to her husband for 3 years and they recently had their first child. The entire time they’ve been married, she’s been a housewife and now she’s a stay at home mom with no plans to return to work. I think that’s fine and have been supportive. I also know she and her husband both have sizeable life insurance policies so if god forbid, one dies, they’ll be okay.
However, she also signed a prenup. Which again, I think is smart. But according to my daughter, she’d get a very small settlement. And even with child support, there’s a good chance she’d have to return to work. And after being out of the workforce for a bit, who knows if that’ll be a challenge. My main worry is my niece fell into this scenario and even with child support, she struggled.
So, my husband (her father) and I set up a “just in case” account. If she and her husband divorce, she’ll have money to fall back on just in case. If they remain married past the time my husband and I die, it’ll just be added to what she’ll inherit.
I didn’t intend on telling her about it unless it happened but my husband pointed out that if she was ever in a situation where she wanted to leave but worried she financially couldn’t, it’d be good for her to know she has a Plan B.
So, we told her and she was a little surprised. She said she appreciated it but felt we were “rooting against her”. I said we love her husband and hope they have a long, healthy marriage. We have always been supportive. But this is similar to the prenup. A just in case. A last resort.
Well, she told her husband and he’s pissed at us as well, saying that we don’t trust him. I said it’s looking out for our daughter and really is no different from the prenup. I added that just as he’ll always want to protect his daughter, we’ll always want to protect ours.
AITA?
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2024.05.14 17:42 forest1144 No contact for a year now.
It's been a year since I've spoken to my mom and step dad.
My husband (m29)and I(f30) along with our two girls put our house up for sale a year ago to move about three hours away where we could afford land. The day we attempted to put our house up my step dad emails us with documents stating that they have rights to the house and we cant legally sell with out there permission as well. A little back ground on that..they co signed when we purchased the house because I'm self employed and my income didn't hold much at the bank. They didn't pay for the home in anyway.
In my step dad's email he said that he thinks we're not thinking straight and that he'll hold the money from the sale of the house for us until we have a better plan?
We were completely blind sided and beside ourselves as all of our money was in this house and if they took the money we would literally be on the streets with our children. Basically forsing is to not sell. Note: my mom stopped talking during this time and only my step dad was reachable.
We went to our lawyer pretty immediately to understand what was true and what we could do. Long story short they had no rights and nothing that they were claiming would ever hold up in court. So they were forced to sign release papers. We haven't spoken since. We did move three hours away.
When we had our daughters there was a big shift in my relationship with my parents. They felt strongly about baby sitting them and were upset when we never let them. I'd get weekly almost Dailey guilt trips. It was almost like they wanted to play house with our daughters because they met late in life and never got to parent together.
I'm not sure what I want from this post. I think I'm just struggling because I've lost my family over them just being completely controlling into my adult years. Do I have a right to be upset with them? I just don't understand how they thought they had the right to decide my future.
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2024.05.14 17:41 asmrgurll Ghosted because Flu/cold
So boyfriend decided to block me on Facebook and the phone. He stopped talking to me Sunday. Took down our relationship status Monday. Called me explaining he didn’t. But I even tagged him again and he denied it so fairly certain that he is.
Asked if he was mad. He said what had happened was he thought I was careless. Knew ahead of time me & son was sick and later got his kids sick.
Without testing I do believe we have allergies. But it’s highly probable we unfortunately shared an illness. Definitely not on purpose. But regardless he said he’d call me later as though everything was ok.
Obviously upset about it all. Understandably so. Then he didn’t return calls or text. Or change dating status he said he’d look into later. 9 hours pass by. I text and call. Straight to this person unavailable message.
Usually indicates blocked. I also stopped getting delivery notifications from his phone. So I messaged him on Facebook please call when you can so we can talk.
I understand if he needs space. Or tired because Ill whatever. You’d think saying this would be the norm. But instead he then blocks me moments later on Facebook.
20 minutes or so later I get a text I just got my kids from their Mom I promise that I will call tomorrow.
Today still blocked on Facebook and phone I’m pretty sure. Text not delivered. Haven’t bothered trying to call.
Wondering if I should just forget about him assuming ghosted and start dating again. Not a very long relationship. He did rush asking me to be his girlfriend before our first date.
I have to wonder if not a deeper issue like maybe he found or had someone else. Or just decided incompatible. So strange he can’t just come straight out and say hey I’m done or no sorry just frustrated or whatever is happening.
Wondering if I should bother, wait. How to respond and deal? Feeling sad and rejected but no clue what to do next or how to feel better.
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2024.05.14 17:41 nocomment413 I got my first Mother’s Day gift
So I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for a couple months now. Not a long relationship, but it’s been fast moving and honestly it’s been wonderful. My bf has a son (3, we’ll cal him Timmy) who I absolutely adore and it’s very obvious that his son loves spending time with me. I never force anything on his son, but if we’re all together walking through a mall or park he wants to hold my hand, if I’m spending the night he will wake me up over his dad to get him a bottle, and there are times where I’ve been in my own home and he is crying for me. There are other things, but it does have me feeling like a stepmom
Timmy’s mom is in his life, but barely and only because her parents pressure her to be there. However, she does not enjoy spending time with her son and is constantly calling my bf to pick him up because she wants to go out clubbing or she just doesn’t want him there at her place anymore. Timmy is autistic and it’s been a learning curve for everyone as he was just diagnosed about two months ago.
There are things I keep finding out about Timmy’s mom that honestly make my blood boil. The fact that when Timmy was born premature and spent nearly 100 days in the NICU and it was mostly my bf visiting solo, the fact that for the first few months of Timmy’s life she went MIA and blocked my bf so she didn’t have to watch her son, the fact that my bf has never had a weekend off unless he specifically asks for a singular weekend, to which she will whine and complain how she has plans to go to the club. There have been times where Timmy was being dropped off at his mom’s and he was just crying and screaming saying he doesn’t want to go, trying to open the car door to get back in the car. One thing that really did it for me was that she has never spent a Mother’s Day with Timmy. Like ever. Not even a phone call with him. My bf gets him on all the holiday’s because she can’t be bothered. There is far more she’s done to piss me off, but his sister flat out told me “I’m sorry my brother chose someone so stupid to have a kid with.” His mom told me, in her best English possible (she’s an immigrant) “you are a strong girl. Fuck that b.”
So for Mothers Day this year my mom invited my bf and Timmy over. My parents both seem to really like them, and even asked if they wanted to spend the night. My dad has never been okay with me having a partner sleepover before so this was big news for me. Since we didn’t prepare for a sleepover, we made a late night run to target to grab a bottle, some milk (my parents only drink almond milk), and a little snack for us. While at checkout, the cashier told me Happy Mother’s Day. It caught me by surprise, but I realized I did look like Timmy’s mother in that moment with the three of us shopping together and buying mainly baby stuff. When we were walking out I giggled to my boyfriend about it.
It’s important to note that I had an unwanted abortion mid last year. I wasn’t in the best place, I wasn’t dating the person, and the guy had driven me the clinic because he wasn’t ready and he didn’t want to be a deadbeat dad. Everyone else in my life said it was for the best, but I still mourn that loss.
On Monday when we got back to my bf’s house he said he had something for me. He gifted me a vinyl of Harry’s Styles’s Fine Line album (something I lost years ago) and a little stuffed Care Bear since I have a thing for 80s cartoons. It was really sweet and almost brought me to tears but I held them back. He went on to explain how he wasn’t sure if I would be okay with it, but he wanted to get me something anyways, not only for the baby I lost, but also for the way I’ve stepped up and immediately accepted Timmy as part of my life. He said in the three years he’s had his son, no one has helped him out as much as I have and he is forever grateful for that. It just made me feel really lucky and blessed and appreciated. I’m so happy to have these two in my life.
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2024.05.14 17:40 deadboltwolf Facing Our Own Mortality, the Fragility of Life and the Illusion of Choice
(I understand this is a bit of a read so I included a tl:dr at the bottom)
This may end up becoming a wall of text so I apologize in advance. I'm not sure how to properly start this so I'll just jump into it. I've been living with my best friends for the past 8 years. The 4 of us moved in together in early 2016 after deciding it would be beneficial financially and because we all get along so damn well that we knew there wouldn't be any issues living under the same roof. Fast forward to today and although 2 them have moved out, I'm still living here with my one buddy and his girlfriend. Things are still great there, no signs of friendship deterioration, tolerance or anything that might cause friction between us. However, I've been witness to a few things as well as started experiencing health issues that have completely changed the outlook I had on life back when we moved in together nearly a decade ago.
A little over 3 years ago I began dealing with awful IBS issues that to this day are still not properly being treated as doctors can't figure out what's wrong with my gut. Over the past 4 months I have begun dealing with nearly debilitating anxiety that has left me pretty much unable to leave the house except for doctor's appointments or the extremely occasional outing to a family or friend's house where I'm only able to stay for about an hour before having to leave. I do see a psychologist as well as a psychiatrist and I am on medication for both the IBS and anxiety, which helps but is in no way a cure. Due to these issues, I have become a shell of the person I used to be. No longer do I wake up and just decide to take a drive to the Jersey shore, a trip to Six Flags or head into the city to catch a Phillies game. Instead, I sit in the house and play video games or watch youtube as doing almost anything else is sure to set my anxiety or IBS off which may or may not land me in the ER.
My buddy that I still live with has been through absolute hell the past few years but luckily he's the kind of person who can just raw dog life (as in, he doesn't deal with any physical or mental issues, rarely gets sick and has no trouble going anywhere, doing anything, can eat whatever he wants without issues, etc.). He lost his mom to cancer last year. She passed exactly one week after Mother's Day. She lived here with us for about the final year of her life. Me and him have been friends for a good 20+ years at this point so his mom was like a mother to me as well, especially being as I don't have a proper relationship with my own mother. Watching her suffer through years of cancer only to pass away at 54 years old was heartbreaking. At least she's finally at peace now, of course. Now, his dad is also going through cancer treatment which is a recurrence of cancer that was found years ago, which automatically makes it stage 4. His prognosis is not grim but to many of us, his dad just seems done with it all. He stays here with us on weekends and with his sister during the week. We can see how much of a toll it's all taking on him. He won't admit it but we know that he doesn't want to put his son through all of this again after losing his mom just last year. If he was given a choice to "go" right now, he would take it, 100% to alleviate any more potential suffering at his or anyone else's behalf. His (my friend's) girlfriend also deals with chronic health issues both physical and mental which has helped open his eyes to the things that other people (who can't just raw dog life) go through on a daily basis. She lost her father when she was in her early 20s so it's helpful to him that she understands what losing a parent feels like.
Watching all of this happen just makes me realize how little our health care industry and government actually seem to care about our true wishes regarding life and death. Why did his mom have to suffer all those years with a terminal diagnosis? Why does his dad have to suffer now? Just because they're both in their 50s and not elderly it seems like care is always about treatment and not giving them the option to leave this life with their dignity intact. I myself would choose to leave this world if the door was opened for me. That does not mean that I am currently having thoughts of killing myself. It means that if the option was presented to me, to go out on my own terms, I would take it. Suicide is still extremely taboo in our society for some reason. Religion and government would have you think it is a crime against humanity but what is more humane than letting someone decide on their own terms that they're ready to move on? We are given this broad illusion of choice as children that we will get to grow up to be who we want to be and if we just try hard enough, we can accomplish anything. But for the vast majority of us, that is just not true. It is an illusion. We work and work and work just to barely earn enough money to survive and many end up in unhappy marriages solely because that's what society made them think they had to do as an adult.
Watching someone you love like family suffer and die will change you. Developing health issues that flip you from being someone outgoing, spontaneous. hard working and passionate into the complete opposite of those things will change you. Discovering that our healthcare system and government will do everything it possibly can to keep you as a "functioning member of society" no matter whether you're going through cancer treatment or dealing with chronic health issues will change you.
I'm 37 years old and I've never felt older in my life than I do right now. It's been almost 3 months that I've been on FMLA from work for the second time in 3 years. I'm wearing a heart monitor because my cardiologist wants to rule out any issues as my heart racing/palpitations are most likely just due to anxiety. Medication doesn't feel like it's doing much of anything and I'm watching the people around me grow older and deal with new problems every day. Yet our society says that we must keep going, no matter if you're suffering because the gears must keep turning. If we truly have the choice to do whatever we want to do in life, why aren't we allowed the choice to leave when we are ready? Why is it taboo? People kill themselves in horrific fashion every single day, more than once every *minute* worldwide. They want a way to fix that and the solution is right there in front of them. Give people the option to leave on their own terms. I've had plenty of conversations about this with friends and family and almost every single one of us would choose to leave on our own terms, when we are ready if the option were available. Hell, even my psychologist agrees with me on this. There's always a big debate about the ethics of it all but until you witness firsthand someone suffering and dying or begin dealing with your own health issues there really isn't any way to understand it. The vast majority of people are out there just raw dogging life and thoughts like these never cross their mind even once. But once it's brought up to them, they understand and accept it, at least in my own personal experiences from talking with friends and family. Ethics, health, religion, government, society, all of these things play a role in determining our fate. I just hope that someday a program is put in place so that people no longer have to suffer.
Finishing up, I understand that my condition is nowhere near as bad as what many others may be dealing with. Some people will look at me with disdain for wanting to walk through the door at only 37 years old while others will understand exactly where I'm coming from and feel the same. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs. I am appreciative of the healthcare system while also criticizing its flaws. I'm glad that religion provides so many with the means to live a happy and healthy life while also believing that many views (and laws) put forth by religious folk are vile and extremely outdated. I am glad that there are systems in place to help people in their darkest hours while also understanding completely why so many choose to leave. At 37 I still have plenty of my life left ahead of me, even if I don't want to get old. I still have things to look forward to such as video game releases or a new series to watch that keep me going. But I also acknowledge that there is a part of me that is ready to go. I have seen what life has to offer. I have lived with my family, on my own, while in a relationship and with my best friends. I do not want to get married or have kids. I do not want to work until I'm 65 (retirement age is likely to rise during my lifetime anyway). I do not want to get old and become a burden on anyone, either family/friends, healthcare workers or the average citizens who would have to pay for my social security.
Lose the illusion of choice and give people the option to go when they are ready.
If you managed to read through all of that, I just want to say thanks! Life is a beautiful thing and I am incredibly thankful for all of the amazing people I've met over the years and for the things that I've been able to do and see. This is not a post about wanting to commit suicide, it's main focus should be that we are forced into this world against our will and given the illusion of choice but when it comes down to it, we really don't have that much choice in how we live our lives and especially not when it comes to wanting it to end. Life can be incredibly fragile and many of us took that for granted until health issues decided it was time to show their ugly faces. I truly do not believe that feeling like you are ready to go should be considered taboo in any way. It should be something that everyone is provided a safe and comfortable space to discuss, whether with loved ones or medical professionals. For all of you out there just raw dogging life, I see you and I hope that someday I can get back to that, I really do miss being able to do whatever I wanted without a second thought. And of course, for anyone who knows what it feels like to be ready to go, to feel confident and comfortable with that decision, I see you as well and hope that the rest of society someday sees that as normal.
tl:dr I am 37 years old and over the past half decade I've watched family and people who were like family to me suffer and die from cancer or other health-related issues. I also deal with debilitating anxiety and IBS issues which obviously are nowhere near the level of something like cancer. However, I've discovered I have a feeling of "being ready to go" and I believe that people should be able to choose to leave this life with dignity and on their own terms without having to do something horrific. The healthcare industry, religious beliefs or government should not force us to remain here against our own free will just so we can keeps the gears of society turning. Let people leave on their own terms when they know that they are ready and get rid of the stigma surrounding talking about death.
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2024.05.14 17:40 MistaRopa Why do parents pressure thier sons and daughters to get married and have kids by the age of 30
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2024.05.14 17:40 GDesemod All the heave offerings of the holy things, which
All the heave offerings of the holy things, which the children of Israel offer unto the LORD, have I given thee, and thy sons and thy daughters with thee, by a statute for ever: it is a covenant of salt for ever before the LORD unto thee and to thy seed with thee.And the LORD spake unto Aaron, Thou shalt have no inheritance in their land, neither shalt thou have any part among them: I am thy part and thine inheritance among the children of Israel
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2024.05.14 17:38 MakeChipsNotMeth Help Understanding Custody Agreement (TEXAS)
My girlfriend and I have a custody agreement for our son, and we are currently cohabitating with some discussion about separating. The question came up as to what the actual meaning of our Possession and Access clause (Texas) is:
**Possession and Access
IT IS ORDERED that nothing in this order shall supersede any term of any protective order or condition of bond, probation, or parole.
The Court finds that the parties are currently cohabitating, therefore IT IS ORDERED that the conservators shall have possession of the child at times mutually agreed to in advance by the conservators, and in the absence of mutual agreement, the conservators shall have possession of the child under the specified terms set out in this Order. Upon the termination of the parties’ cohabitation, "MOM" shall have the right to possession of the child as follows:
- Possession Order
"MOM" shall have possession of "SON" as agreed upon by "MOM" and "DAD". "DAD" shall have the right of possession of "SON" at all other times not specifically designated in this Possession Order for "MOM".
- Duration
The periods of possession ordered above apply to the child the subject of this suit while that child is under the age of eighteen years and not otherwise emancipated.
- Noninterference with Possession
Except as expressly provided herein, IT IS ORDERED that neither conservator shall take possession of the child during the other conservator's period of possession unless there is a prior written agreement signed by both conservators or in case of an emergency.**
Specifically Section 1. Possession Order. I'm not sure if it means that that we already agreed that "MOM" has something like primary possession, so "DAD" gets possession at all other times, **OR** if "MOM" get's possession at times when both parents agree that she does (In effect "DAD" decides, assuming she always *wants* possession), and that possession defaults to "DAD" barring a modification to the agreement.
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2024.05.14 17:38 idiotica8 Advice on viewing my little brother’s death as largely my mom’s fault?
My 16 year old brother died in 2022 due to fentanyl poisoning. My mom found him in his bed. Before his death, he struggled with drug use. My mom caught him smoking weed at 14 or so, and instead of keeping a closer eye on him so he didn’t do drugs, she allowed him to do weed at 14-15 under the excuse “I’d rather him do it here at my house where he is safe than out somewhere else”. She even let her boyfriend sell weed to him at his young age.
This escalated into my brother always having his 13-15 year old friends over and them all doing weed in his room. Shortly after, at age 15, my brother started taking and selling psilocybin mushrooms. And of course shortly after the shroom sales began, he started doing party drugs with all his friends like ecstasy, “percs” aka fentanyl, Xanax, and potentially more. When my mom found out, she drew the line and said he cant do pills or hard drugs, but she would allow the marijuana and mushrooms as a “compromise”.
Horrible parenting in my opinion. Letting a 14-15 year old boy do any sort of drugs is irresponsible and undoubtedly contributed to my brother getting into pills, and developing a pill addiction to fentanyl that killed him. My mom did take measures to make sure he didn’t do pills, such as sending him away to rehab for 5 weeks before his 16th bday. When he came back, she was drug testing him but still allowing him to do weed and mushrooms.
After his death we learned from his friends he was putting bleach in his urine in the drug tests and was still doing pills. My mom never checked his room or took measures to ensure pills weren’t around. This was in June and he died in August when my mom didn’t think he was doing pills still. But she also wasn’t keeping an eye on him either. she was taking the clean drug tests at face value and didn’t supervise to make sure he wasn’t still selling and taking pills when he was doing both.
The police also found a handgun in his dresser and a bunch of pills on his nightstand the day he died. That’s how little my mom supervised my 16 year old brother with a history of dealing drugs and taking drugs. Now that it’s been almost 2 years since his death I cant help but resent my mother for not doing more. All she posts on social media is quotes about how much she wish she could have saved him and how much she grieves her son. And it’s honestly upsetting for me to see these posts constantly when I feel she could have done so much more and actually parented him instead of allowing drug use, and trusting him when he lied to her so many times about his drug use.
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2024.05.14 17:35 Adventurous_Nose438 Is my husband allowed to kick out his 15yo son?
My husband has an ex wife, and they split custody of their two kids (age 15 and 17). His 15yo son has been misbehaving and spending time with his step-dad over my husband. He wants to kick him out and have him live with mom full-time. I don't agree, but don't know how to talk to him about it. Would I get in legal trouble for being a guardian in this situation if he does get kicked out? Or is it legal since his son has another house to live in?
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2024.05.14 17:34 spring_baby1 Am I wrong for cutting contact with my mother again even though she has cancer now?
This is not the first time I’ve posted here about my family - in 2022 I made a post asking if I was wrong for cutting off my mom even though she had MS after she lied about starting rumors about my two sisters and one of their husbands.
After getting some insight from others on here as well in real life I cut my mom off and my sister and I were only talking to my aunt during this time. My aunt is my mother’s sister but she lives in a completely different state and her and my mother had issues for years and they also haven’t even seen each other in person since before 2001 because of how estranged their relationship was.
Now after my mom had been cut off for about a year my aunt reached out to her to ask her about some family stuff because my aunt found out my grandfather wasn’t her biological father during their conversation my mom disclosed she had cancer and so me, my aunt, and my sister all decided to support her and see if maybe she’s changed since getting another heavy diagnosis on top of the MS she already had.
During this time we were trying to be the best support system we could be and we also supported our aunt and our mom trying to have a relationship again. We all agreed we shouldn’t talk about the past at all and that nobody should try to cause a problem for anyone else (this was mainly towards my mom since she’s the one that has these kinds of behaviors at times)
For about seven months everything was going really well and we all were getting along great, my aunt was even planning to come visit so she could see all of us.
Then last month something happened because my aunt who thought the world of my sister started sending her nasty messages claiming my sister wasn’t who she thought she was and that my sister told my mom about our cousin (aunt’s daughter) being arrested but my sister swears she didn’t and it is public online so I think my mom found it on her own and is just lying about my sister showing her.
Well anyways my sister and I both ended up blocking my aunt on social media because the stuff my aunt was writing to my sister was really awful and we felt she knew how my mom can be and that she shouldn’t have believed her so quickly / said so many nasty things.
Ever since we blocked her she’s continued to send harassing messages that say really awful things about us. The latest was sent to me on Mother’s Day and she basically wrote that I’m heartless and selfish for cutting my parents off and that both her and my mom think I must stay close to my sister because she gives me things which isn’t even true my mother has “borrowed” thousands from my sister and I’ve never borrowed any money from her ever. Before when she was talking to just my sister and I my aunt fully understood why we weren’t close with our mom and now she’s saying it’s wrong to cut her off.
She’s tried contacting me on Facebook, TikTok, phone, and even used someone else’s phone to contact me on Mother’s Day. I hate feeling like maybe I was wrong for cutting her off even though I didn’t really have a huge issue with her initially it was my sister being targeted by her and I also now feel guilty about cutting my parents off again.
So tell me, am I wrong?
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2024.05.14 17:33 idiotica8 AIO for viewing my little brother’s death as my mother’s fault?
Sorry if this isn’t the appropriate community to post this in.
My 16 year old brother died in 2022 due to fentanyl poisoning. My mom found him in his bed. Before his death, he struggled with drug use. My mom caught him smoking weed at 14 or so, and instead of keeping a closer eye on him so he didn’t do drugs, she allowed him to do weed at 14-15 under the excuse “I’d rather him do it here at my house where he is safe than out somewhere else”. She even let her boyfriend sell weed to him at his young age. This escalated into my brother always having his 13-15 year old friends over and them all doing weed in his room. Shortly after, at age 15, my brother started taking and selling psilocybin mushrooms. And of course shortly after the shroom sales began, he started doing party drugs with all his friends like ecstasy, “percs” aka fentanyl, Xanax, and potentially more. When my mom found out, she drew the line and said he cant do pills or hard drugs, but she would allow the marijuana and mushrooms as a “compromise”. Horrible parenting in my opinion. Letting a 14-15 year old boy do any sort of drugs is irresponsible and undoubtedly contributed to my brother getting into pills, and developing a pill addiction to fentanyl that killed him. My mom did take measures to make sure he didn’t do pills, such as sending him away to rehab for 5 weeks before his 16th bday. When he came back, she was drug testing him but still allowing him to do weed and mushrooms. After his death we learned from his friends he was putting bleach in his urine in the drug tests and was still doing pills. My mom never checked his room or took measures to ensure pills weren’t around. This was in June and he died in August when my mom didn’t think he wasn’t doing pills still. But she also wasn’t keeping an eye on him either. she was taking the clean drug tests at face value and didn’t supervise to make sure he wasn’t still selling and taking pills when he was doing both. The police also found a handgun in his dresser and a bunch of pills on his nightstand the day he died. That’s how little my mom supervised my 16 year old brother with a history of dealing drugs and taking drugs. Now that it’s been almost 2 years since his death I cant help but resent my mother for not doing more. All she posts on social media is quotes about how much she wish she could have saved him and how much she grieves her son. That’s how little my mom supervised my 16 year old brother with a history of dealing drugs and taking drugs. Now that it’s been almost 2 years since his death I cant help but resent my mother for not doing more. All she posts about is how much she wishes she could save him, and only posts quotes about losing a son. And it’s honestly upsetting for me to see these posts constantly when I feel she could have done so much more and actually parented him instead of trusting him when he lied to her so many times about his drug use.
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2024.05.14 17:33 Mysterious_Scholar36 My son birthday
Tomorrow is my son birthday and I have four kids single mom this month is been really bad I lost my father and don't have any groceries for the rest of the month anything could help. Not even money for my son birthday. cash app $norma2387p. I try all the apps for payday and loans y credit is to low. Thank you
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http://rodzice.org/