How long does soma withdrawal last

I live in Australia and am asking about the specific process in a clinical setting in Australia. I've had severe chronic pain for 31 years now. I've also been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I also have anxiety. I've been through a lot of different medications over the years. I was put on Targin 10/5 twice a day, so I could go one something for the depression before attending an amazing pain management clinic twice (5 years apart due to the change in my physical condition) and got a lot out of it both times. I went from a walking frame to only needing crutches when leaving the house. I was on that for 8 years, then started the weaning process as my pain reduced thanks to more effective management. It took me about 3 years to go completely off the Targin. I didn't think that last 2.5mg dose was doing much for me, but I was so wrong. I am just not coping with the pain and my depression has taken a major downturn because I'm cutting things out of my life again to try and cope with it, so all I'm doing is working and sleeping. It feels like I'm going backwards and I don't want to go back on Targin because it took me so long to get off it.
My psychiatrist has just referred me back to my pain management specialist (from the clinics) saying they recommend ketamine infusion. It's been mentioned in the past that this was the next step for me if things didn't stabilise. I haven't seen the pain specialist yet, but I want to know more about the process in Australia. All of my reading has been about the US and more about the mental therapy side of it, not the pain side of it.
Is there anyone who has undergone ketamin treatment in AU who can let me know what to expect? -Psych said it was a 5 day inpatient process. Is that 5 days in hospital, or visiting daily for 5 days for the infusion? -Would I be able to work while undergoing it? (I'm in IT) -Was it helpful for you? (I have nerve pain and inflammation) -How long does it last? Is it something that has to be repeated every year or something? -Do you really "trip"? A lot of people say it, but I don't know what to expect there and it makes me a bit anxious tbh. -Can you claim it on Medicare or private health or do you have to pay the full cost of the drug and anaesthetist? -Any advice on what questions I should ask the pain specialist about during my appointment?
I'd appreciate any advice <3

We’ve been together for 4 and a half years basically. We’ve know each other for 10. Liked each other in high school, life happened, I moved away, she had a kid, found our way back to each other, and ended up having a child of our own 2 years ago. To try and summarize, she feels once our daughter was born, that I got too comfortable and acted as though I knew she wasn’t going anywhere. I worked overnight construction for years, even before we got together, made it to a superintendent position, with a job where I averaged anywhere from 65-80+ hours a week. She was home with the kids, I didn’t make enough to put the kids in daycare, and couldn’t commit to any kind of permanent arrangement to assist her with taking care of the kids so she could work. The goal, since before we got together, was for me to leave my trade, but I made more money doing that, than we would have if we both started entry level jobs, not to mention then having to pay for daycares. I was offered help by my mother who lived out of state to bring me family over there with promises of help so we could make the changes necessary to restructure our life and improve our situation. I got here, worked in my same trade for a few months until the rain season began, and she immediately began her course to become a CNA, then started work as one, and makes decent money. Well she made a friend there, who I honestly can’t stand. I have NEVER told her who she can and can’t see, hang out with, talk to, nothing like that, she’s never given me a reason to doubt her, she has always been a loyal person and very honest. This friend of hers, without spending time on all the details and making this post even longer, tries encouraging my girlfriend to do things or think certain ways that I feel are detrimental to our relationship. Telling her she should start an OF, is one example, and when my girlfriend vented to her about an issue we had, told her that I am a narcissist like every guy she’s been with and to just leave me.
For some context, I forgot our anniversary. I think I’ve forgotten it almost every year, because it wasn’t really a special occasion, we talked about it a few months into our relationship basically saying “hey we’re dating right? Like this is official? What do we tell people if they ask what our anniversary is? Okay cool, sounds good, moving on.” I get it, that mindset was wrong of me. I also procrastinate on things like holidays, birthdays, whatever, and have had some instances where I really should have tried harder to make her feel special and appreciated. I used to do the hallmark movie corny stuff, I used to have a notebook I’d write in when I got home in the mornings while she was asleep about how I loved her, she’s beautiful, I appreciate her, blah blah. One time I set a path from the front door to the upstairs bath with candles, flower petals, where a bath was drawn, with red lights for ambiance and a bath bomb for her. It fell off because the honey moon phase ended, although I feel it lasted a long time, and life events happened that lead to some emotional dry spells on her part where she wasn’t ready to receive affection, her grandmother passing, having a miscarriage far along in our first pregnancy together, her step father dying, and then also the stresses of my job wearing me out, and getting comfortable subconsciously telling myself that even though I don’t always do those same things anymore, she knows I think she’s the greatest and I love her.
I have a bad habit that I’ve been working on for a few months now, where if she’d bring up things that made me nervous to think about or stress me out to plan, I would play too much and not take the situations seriously, and make her not feel heard as a result. I always teased that I don’t believe in legally getting married, that I’d take her to the courthouse and let her change her last name to mine and then we can have a ceremony after. 2 years ago I told her that wasn’t the case, and we finally talked about it where I told her that once our situation is right, in marrying her. I know in hindsight that I should have still placed it as a higher priority, but we never really talked about it further, and she clung to what I’d said before that about us never getting married. When our fighting started getting bad about 2 months ago, and we finally communicated what the underlying root of her unhappiness was, I had a huge perspective change. Some other big events happened, my step father who we lived with overdosed from fentanyl in our basement, and really changed my perspective on life and how quickly things can end and change and blah blah, to where I told her that I don’t want to fight, she is my one, and I want to marry her. She basically took it as me saying it out of fear to get her to stay. I’ve been trying to show her that I want to make the effort she is asking for. That she is as special to me as I say, but now in her mind she is taking an approach of “why did it take 4 years to get to this point.”
I never try to deny responsibility for my actions, I always try to be quick to reflect and acknowledge where I may have been wrong. But now I almost feel like my readiness to say okay I messed up by getting comfortable and not making you feel heard in these situations and everything else I’ve talked about, kind of seems like I’ve only made her feel completely validated in her idea that I have messed up for 4 years and just not appreciated her. I almost want to tell her that yes, I have slowed down and gotten comfortable, but no, there’s are so many examples of times I’ve still shown you how much I cared. I fear doing so will come off argumentative, and give her more fuel to the fire of her friend calling me a narcissist. Side note: she has since stopped getting advice from that friend, because she did come to the conclusion that her friend does not have her best interest, and has seen an uglier side to her as time has gone on, but I feel the seeds of discord have been sown.
I’m so sorry, I hope some of you with good intentions stick through all of this, and I know there’s other context that could help, but I guess I just need some ideas on what to do. 7 weeks ago we started fighting over petty day to day things, 5 weeks ago we finally established her root of unhappiness, 4 weeks ago she said she needed space, 2-3 weeks ago we said we were taking a break, and I feel her feelings of negativity have only grown. I’ve sucked at giving space admittedly, as time goes on I’ve gotten better though I fear damage has been further done by not doing great about accepting her request for space. Idk, we have a child together, I love both of the children like they’re my own blood, I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship (I know I’m young, still) and now that we’re finally hitting our goals with our lifestyle changes and career changes, now she’s finally gotten to this point of giving up.
Do I try giving her space, doing my own thing and seeing if that separation and seeing my positive activities draws her back in? Or has it gone on so long that that’s not going to work? Do I try saying finally “hey I acknowledge my mistakes, but in your attempts to focus on my wrong doings I feel like you’re ignoring all the good things I did and I’d like you to try remembering those? I don’t hit her, cuss at her, our heated fights can probably be counted on 1, maybe 2 hands, I don’t cheat, I provide, I’ve taken care of the kids just about by myself for the past 5 months to give her room to get her new profession down, I cook and clean every night, not to be crass but our intimate life is very good, I know I deliver for her on that account, and I’m someone who is always willing to apologize and adapt and adjust. Any advice that isn’t slanderous to either of us would be awesome, I get at this point that if it’s too late then I need to just start preparing for that eventuality and working on myself, but for the sake of keeping my family together, I want to exhaust all of my options to make this work.

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Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones. - Proverbs 3:7-8
For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. - Ephesians 5:5
To whom shall I speak and give warning,
That they may hear?
Indeed their ear is uncircumcised,
And they cannot give heed.
Behold, the word of the Lord is a reproach to them;
They have no delight in it. – Jeremiah 6:10
“There is no fear of God before their eyes.” - Romans 3:18
The fear of the LORD leads to life, And he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil. - Proverbs 19:23
The fear of God is what leads to life, and this is why there are so many passages both in the OT and the NT which are meant to impart that fear of God into us. But the modern church seemingly sees the fear of God as a reproach to them, indeed they seem to only talk about the free gift, but also seem to reject that gift.
For God has not called us to live in sin. He has called us to live a holy life
Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit. – I Thessalonians 4:7-8
Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.
Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God.
So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers does not belong to God. - I John 3:6-10
The churches should be imparting the fear of God into the wicked, so that they may turn from the ways of death and truly begin to know Jesus Christ. But they only seem to preach that which fills seats and wallets, as scripture warned us about:
But there were also false prophets in Israel, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will cleverly teach destructive heresies and even deny the Master who bought them. In this way, they will bring sudden destruction on themselves.
Many will follow their evil teaching and shameful immorality. And because of these teachers, the way of truth will be slandered.
In their greed they will make up clever lies to get hold of your money. But God condemned them long ago, and their destruction will not be delayed. – II Peter 2:1-3
Rather than fear God and convey that to others, they come up with every high-minded, theological retort that they can possibly think of in an effort to rid themselves of the very thing that leads to life.
‘For among My people are found wicked men;
They lie in wait as one who sets snares;
They set a trap;
They catch men.
As a cage is full of birds,
So their houses are full of deceit.
Therefore they have become great and grown rich.
They have grown fat, they are sleek;
Yes, they surpass the deeds of the wicked;
They do not plead the cause,
The cause of the fatherless;
Yet they prosper,
And the right of the needy they do not defend.
Shall I not punish them for these things?’ says the Lord.
‘Shall I not avenge Myself on such a nation as this?’
“An astonishing and horrible thing
Has been committed in the land:
The prophets prophesy falsely,
And the priests rule by their own power;
And My people love to have it so.
But what will you do in the end? – Jeremiah 5:26-31
“Behold, you trust in lying words that cannot profit.
Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, burn incense to Baal, and walk after other gods whom you do not know,
and then come and stand before Me in this house which is called by My name, and say, ‘We are delivered to do all these abominations’?
Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of thieves in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it,” says the Lord. – Jeremiah 7:8-11
“Therefore you shall speak all these words to them, but they will not obey you. You shall also call to them, but they will not answer you.
“So you shall say to them, ‘This is a nation that does not obey the voice of the Lord their God nor receive correction. Truth has perished and has been cut off from their mouth. – Jeremiah 7:27-28
But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty,
lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was. - I Timothy 3:3-9
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 1:9
Timothy was told to rebuke those who sin in the presence of all so that the rest may fear (I Timothy 5:20), but many leaders in modern churches seek to comfort the wicked in their sin instead. Comfort should be given to those who are remorseful for their sins, not to those who need a swift rebuke before they perish in their sins.
But what are souls compared to dollars these days?
Shall I not punish them for these things?’ says the Lord.
‘Shall I not avenge Myself on such a nation as this?’ - Jeremiah 5:10
For the congregation of hypocrites shall be desolate, and fire shall consume the tabernacles of bribery. - Job 15:34
I truly hope that even those who take part in turning people away from the way of life will repent, and soon.
The Lord Almighty says that disaster is coming on one nation after another, and a great storm is gathering at the far ends of the earth. On that day the bodies of those whom the Lord has killed will lie scattered from one end of the earth to the other. No one will mourn for them, and they will not be taken away and buried. They will lie on the ground like piles of manure.
Cry, you leaders, you shepherds of my people, cry out loud! Mourn and roll in the dust. The time has come for you to be slaughtered, and you will be butchered like rams. There will be no way for you to escape. You moan and cry out in distress because the Lord in his anger has destroyed your nation and left your peaceful country in ruins. The Lord has abandoned his people like a lion that leaves its cave. The horrors of war and the Lord's fierce anger have turned the country into a desert. - Jeremiah 25:32-38
To think that God treated His first love in such a way over their wickedness, but will spare this lukewarm, money-hungry monstrosity for doing the same things is utterly insane.
But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. He will judge everyone according to what they have done. He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness.
There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on doing what is evil—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism. - Romans 2:5-11
God does not change. When the people who are supposed to be His are the ones leading others to hell, His fury is just, and it will be vented.
Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfect before God. Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you. - Revelation 3:2-3

[Long post] We’ve benefited from this thread so much, even after traveling to Japan in the past, and often see the question “does this plan make sense/how much time do we need, etc?”that I hope our recent exact itinerary traveling with 13 yo twins and a 75 yo mother can answer some common questions about our return experience in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Nikko (which we adore).
Also, YES there was screen time. YES people were unpleasant due to jet lag. YES YES YES we adjusted plans and “missed out” on things. Flexibility is key! We never got to Senso-ji or did conveyor sushi because we ended up at a random temple flea market for over two hours finding our most prized souvenirs. Welcome serendipity - the unplanned boba store near Tokyo station remains one of my daughter’s favorite memories.
Onto our itinerary. We stayed in AirBnb’s, an onsen, and a hotel our last two nights in Tokyo.
Hope it’s helpful!
ARRIVE THURSDAY April 11th (2,747 steps) Arrive Haneda - train to Ueno Apartment (and wonderful cab driver who didn’t leave until we found out place) +Happy Mart snacks and house supplies +Dinner @ Kitchisen Handmade Soba
FRIDAY - SHINJUKU (25,885 steps) +365 Days Pastries +Yoyogi Park +Meiji Shrine +saratuhiko coffee +Souishi Menya - great ramen +Onigiri Manma - homemade onigiri +Uniqlo +TeamBorderless art exhibit in Ginza
SATURDAY (21,869 steps) +Tsukiji Market, sushi breakfast +Ueno Park for cherry blossoms +Daiso shopping +Yakitori Lunch - lunch under the train station. Two guys sitting next to us who translated on their phone “We hope you love Japan” BREAK +Artisan pop-up shop Akihabara +Gatchapan +Hakata Furyu Ramen
SUNDAY (18,280 steps) +Leave 8am +A Happy Pancake - 9am +Hanazono Flea Market - Temple market with all the vendors +Seikando Stationary store +Boba Tea +Yoyogi Park Frisbee & volleyball & greasers +Sultan Akihabara - Indian food takeaway
MONDAY (15,663 steps) +7/11 & Starbucks & French pastry breakfast +Train to Nikko +Toshugo Shrine Complex - Futarashan shrine, all temples +Shinkyo Bridge +Yuba Ryori Aburagan - lunch in Nikko +Traditional onsen + Keiseki (traditional, local, in-season) dinner
TUESDAY (19,546 steps) + Onsen volcano hot baths + Keiseki breakfast +Return to Tokyo via train, lunch and shopping in Tokyo Station, then +Nozomi Shinkansen Bullet Train to Kyoto +Check into AirBNB in the Gion district +Mosburger dinner
WEDNESDAY (23,107 steps) +Breakfast - Cicon bakery (In the Cicon hotel) Morning walk in the Gion +Kiyumizudera “pure water temple 780ad” (otowa no taki waterfall) wooden temple +Ninnenzaku Road - shopping +Hokon-ji pagoda tower +Ishebekoji road - old private road (no photography!) +Kenninji Temple - Oldest ZEN temple. 1639 screen. Zen “garden of the sound of the tide.” Creaking floors to hear the ninjas approaching Home to Recharge +Lunch - Omen Udon +Nishiki food market (Sarah/Nonna get tofu) +Teramachi-dori - famous street with clothing shops, sneakers at ATMOS +Pontocho - narrow authentic food alley along the river +Yasaka Shrine - temple with the lit up lanterns at night +Dinner - Ebisugawa Gyoza Nakajima - gyoza at the japanese style table +Gion for Geisha watching (4)
THURSDAY (13,266 steps) +Arashiyama Bamboo Forest +crepes +Goji Sanso Temple - moss temple +Seiryo-ji (incense tribute) +Ryoan-ji (incredible zen garden) Nozomi SHINKANSEN TO TOKYO Check-in &here hotel
FRIDAY (25,658 steps) +Disneyland +Ginza Shopping (Nike store/boba) Break at Hotel +Duck ramen at 麺屋上々 (Menya Joujou) +Chinese restaurant for tea
SATURDAY (7,751 steps) +Tsukiji Market sushi breakfast +Walk to Ueno park + Duck Boats Haneda Airport…. See you next time!

I think my boyfriends hates himself more then he loves me.
I just want to start by saying that I (20f) absolutely love this man (21m) and would do literally anything for him which is why I’m making this post so I sincerely ask that you do not judge too harshly and give me some advice on what to do or how to handle this situation.
FYI, this is a long one. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and it’s been great. He is my first and only relationship I’ve ever been in and there was definitely a honey moon stage we were in during the beginning but he was always very sweet and loving. He cared about my day, liked talking to me and hearing me rant about things I like/dislike and was very gentle with me and I fell in love with him very fast because he was the first person i felt I could be 100% real and myself around. He’s a big 6”3 teddy bear who I knew going into it didn’t like himself very much because he had loose skin from weight loss, but I was determined to make sure he knew that he was loved and literally my dream man regardless of his scars or skin, which is the same way he treats my scars on my legs which are huge and looks like I was attacked by a tiger. There wasn’t really a big change till about 1 year in when he started having alot of insecurities due to PTSD from his last relationships and not only would that make him snappy but he kept making jokes about me cheating on him with everyone and anyone I had an interaction with, male or female. I couldn’t go anywhere without him needing to know who was there and if it was a guy- no matter who it was, he’d get very angry. I accepted that it was a trauma response and knew his insecurities were valid so I took it all in stride and would calmly make sure he knew that was not the case and would do anything to ease that fear but there were a few times it caused huge problems. One time it triggered my own mental health issues and I screamed at him and had a full blown meltdown down because I was doing everything he said and was honestly being the perfect gf but nothing I did eased his insecurity and he kept lashing out at me. Since then he realized the negative effect the jokes were having on me so he stopped making them and has genuinely learned to trust that I won’t cheat on him but ever since then, it’s like a damn broke and I’m the reciprocator to all of his anger. He doesn’t hit me or call me names unwarranted but he gets very upset at very minor things on a daily basis. At 1 1/2 years into the relationship I learned that his self hatred goes much much deeper than I thought and while his praises and love has helped with my confidence, mine has not helped his at all. In fact, I think the fact that I’m a 5”3 very skinny female and he gained a little bit of healthy relationship weight, made him start hating himself more. He would bring up how it doesn’t make since we’re together and he’s “the ugly one” out of us and how I’m too good for him and I kept praising him and making sure he knew that me, the person who sitting right next to him in bed, loves him more then anything and thinks the world of him but it never helped. I recommended that he go to therapy but he refused saying he wouldn’t want to talk to strangers and that it wouldn’t help even tho I’ve gone for most of my life but I know my experience doesn’t and shouldn’t sway his opinion. I’m no doctor but I have diagnosed borderline personally disorder and severe depression and anxiety and have had to be institutionalized 5 times due to self harm and suicide and again while I’m not a doctor, I’m positive he has anger issues (as is he) and might possibly have BPD, and most definitely has anxiety and depression but he seeks no help for them and knows that they negatively impact him and cause him to lash out at me daily which lowkey makes me hates myself but I try not to take anything personally because I deeply understand what he’s going through. Now at almost 3 years, I don’t even know anymore. Sometimes I’m convinced he hates me and others I fell like the most important person alive but our fighting is at an all time high. He doesn’t care about any hobby of mine and gets annoyed having to listen to me talk about something a lot or for longer than 5 minutes. His family is my family but he doesn’t think my family in his family even tho my family has done a lot for him. He hates holidays, hates doing normal things people do unless he wants to do it. I sometimes find myself feeling like I can’t have anything good in life outside of him or with him + others because everything he does, we do, and I do, is SO hard for him and he reacts out of anger. I haven’t had a fully good holiday since before we dated and I no longer feel like I can have friends nor do I really want them. I don’t even eat with my family anymore because he doesn’t want to and I don’t want to leave him alone. Anytime he’s done anything with my family, I’ve had to force him or he does it out of guilt and then it’s just a bad time because he’s so mad at everything. I’ve made the bad habit of ignoring my own mental health and doing everything and anything for him and now it’s like he forgot that I also have emotions over things and am a human being. He treats me much poorly than he would treat someone he actually hates. I don’t know if it’s because he gained more weight and that he hates himself for all these different reasons or what but having a simple conversation about his emotions and why he’s being snappy is the hardest thing to do for him. So many things go wrong and he handles so many situations wrong and has such negative reactions to almost everything I do that it’s hard for me to function. When I express that, it’s a coin flip on if it’ll start a problem or if he’ll just feel bad and hate himself more. These issues we’ve had and me coddling him in any way I can have caused me to have a couple situations where I bottle things up and explode but it’s been about a handful in 3 years and I can’t be upset or feel strongly about something without him already invalidating it thinking I’m having an episode or freaking out himself. We’ve had arguments everyday over dumb stuff but it’s always him thinking surface level and technically and me thinking about it all from a deeper perspective and him not understand the principle of the situation or why I’m upset ever and constantly bases his entire reaction on his perspective until I explain the same thing in multiple different ways, over and over again. I know this is horrible but I feel like I’ve had to teach him how to be in a healthy relationship and handle his own emotions and while I’m learning about how to be an adult, I’m simultaneously having to teach him how to be one because he’s not doing it himself. He has a job and pays for everything but he doesn’t save and hates himself for that so mostly I feel like I can’t speak because i don’t have a job right now and because he’s so supportive of me, I feel so unbelievably horrible for feeling how I do. Like today we got into a fight because we were talking and he was getting agitated and then while we were communicating he just shut the conversation down saying it’s over which has caused a lot of problems in the past and he knows that’s not how to end a conversation because it should matter that we’re adult and we should be able to get through and conversation without issues but by the end of it he was hating on himself for “still messing things up when he was just trying to end the conversations so problems WOULDNT happen” and it was basically him just choosing every wrong dialogue option and reaction possible. He constantly creates problems by not wanting to create problems while acting like there’s a problem and just not talking about it. And then he gets so mad, he insults my entire personality and everything I do by misunderstanding my valid anger and never taking it seriously in the moment until I get real mad and alot of the times when I get real mad, I’m just seen as crazy. But at the end of it there’s always communication that was needed but not received in the beginning and I just don’t know what to do to not have to go through all that to be understood. I’ve expressed that he treats me like a villainous stranger a lot and that I think he hates himself more than he loves me and he always thinks about leaving me for my own good after I ask if I need to just accept this pain from his mistreatment and lack of emotional availability when it’s my love language because I still chose him over anyone else but then when I explain that what I really need from him is consistency and to do some real self work, he agreed and I’m giving him time to do just that. Things are just difficult, I refuse to leave him so if anyone says I’m doing this to myself then you’re right and I’d choose to go through it everyday because I love him. And I believe that soulmates are 2 people who make a decision to love each other and live life together in harmony throughout all hardships. People who break up do it because one or both of them can’t commit to each other and don’t make the conscious decision to make them a real life partner and neither of us want that. I just need advice on how to help him or how to handle the situation. Any of the situations really because this will either be amazing or I will change myself to accept the reality that it will never be amazing but I’m too loyal to ever not want to try and make it work.

I received a call from the bank last April 30 that I was qualified for their promo of having an additional JCB credit card alongside my existing AMEX card with a shared credit limit. After proceeding with the offer, I received a confirmation text on May 2 from the bank that they have received the application and will be evaluating it. How long does it usually take for them to evaluate applications? I've had a number of CC's in the past but it never took this long (usually the longest was around 1 week).

The story about me (36f) and my sister (38f) is long and complicated, so I’ll try to summarise as short as possible, which is long anyway. (English is not my first language - sorry for grammar!)
Sister has some kind of psychological issues she refuse to deal with properly. I suspect BPD, but I may be very wrong. Mom mentioned she may have gotten a diagnosis lately, but didn’t remember if it’s ADHD or Autism. She’s a very extrovert person who thrives when being around people. She only has two moods: ecstatic or depressed. She absolutely worships people, until one day when she cast them down to the status of a devil. Nothing in between.
Her life is cyclical. It starts with finding a new area of interest that she dives head first into. She meets people doing this thing she’s interested in and idolise them. She says it’s her calling in life, and credits her new-found mental wellbeing to this new calling. She invests everything she has into the new thing - time and money, even starts working in the field. Then comes the depression. Every time she claims she has never felt like this before. The people she worshipped are discarded and branded “bad” or “crazy”. She relies on family to get her back on her feet, then find a new area of interest that “saves her”, and the cycle starts anew. Over and over again.
I broke with her almost 5 years ago. She was depressed and lived with our parents again at that time. I was back to school to get a new career after first being burnt out, then losing my job. My daughter was 3 years old. At that time, I realised my marriage was a huge cause of my own depression and that he was cruel to out child and decided to get a divorce. My ex was very abusive, so I was facing the threat of being homeless, jobless and lose custody. My sister ripped me to shreds and told me that my problems were nothing compared to hers, and that my situation did not excuse not being there for her. For context - she called me every day while I was in school and made me “talk her out of” doing things to herself for 2 hours - every day for weeks while refusing therapy or medication. I lost it.
We went NC about 1 year, then to very LC the last 3 years. It’s working kinda good! As long as I don’t get close to her, we can even see each other without drama. The times I’ve slipped up and allowed too much contact has been a disaster, she becomes possessive straight away and demand I apologise to her for what I did.
My daughter (8f) is the only child in the family. Thank goodness my sister hasn’t had any, and doesn’t plan to either. My sister instantly fell in love with her, before she was even born. While she seems to forget daughter’s existence from time to time, she also adores her from time to time. She showers daughter in gifts and attention. When they last hung out, Sister even pretended to love the very same things as Daughter, which at the time was rainbows and unicorns.
Since I broke with Sister, she has met Daughter 3 times. Once overnight 3 years ago, the other 2 times just a couple of hours outside of home. I do invite her here from time to time and say she’s always welcome, but she never does. She doesn’t bother coming here even if she’s in the area. She lives 4 hours away with car, and now claims she can’t travel here because her horse needs her. Good for us, I thought. Less drama.
But last week I found a package in the mail, addressed to Daughter. In it were the gifts Sister missed giving her - Christmas, Birthday and Easter. There was also a card, in which Sister writes how much she loves Daughter. Boxed in with a green marker, she writes that it’s her biggest dream to have Daughter visiting her for a weekend, and that she’s willing to meet us halfway to pick her up. She asked me a year or so ago, but I haven’t heard a word from her this year.
Yesterday, my mom said Sister has been in touch with her too, asking her to bring Daughter to her. No one asked me. Sister still sends Daughter unicorns and rainbows, even though Daughter hasn’t been into them for more than two years. She does not know my Daughter anymore.
Daughter loves her aunt, and often talk about her and makes her drawings and jewelary. She doesn’t know the issues my Sister has. She does not know she is forgotten for weeks, maybe months at a time. I’m scared my Sister will break her heart, or mess her up. I have not asked Daughter if she wants to go, and she didn’t say anything when reading the card either.
I told mom that Sister is always welcome to come here, and that I want her to come and see Daughter at least twice before I’m ok with Daughter going there (with my parents - not alone. Even mom agrees whole heartedly that Daughter should not go there alone). Mom thinks it’s unreasonable, because Sister is afraid of me and won’t come. I have never raised my voice to her. Never said harsh words. Just refused to do what she wants, so I feel it’s unfair to blame me.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to “force” my sister to come visit us in order to see my daughter?

Hello,
I'm new to this, i want to download a file from an open folder but when I try to it says it's queued. i read somewhere that this is common since you get a place in the line to download. But how long does the queued last for its already been 1 day?

Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones. - Proverbs 3:7-8
For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. - Ephesians 5:5
To whom shall I speak and give warning,
That they may hear?
Indeed their ear is uncircumcised,
And they cannot give heed.
Behold, the word of the Lord is a reproach to them;
They have no delight in it. – Jeremiah 6:10
“There is no fear of God before their eyes.” - Romans 3:18
The fear of the LORD leads to life, And he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil. - Proverbs 19:23
The fear of God is what leads to life, and this is why there are so many passages both in the OT and the NT which are meant to impart that fear of God into us. But the modern church seemingly sees the fear of God as a reproach to them, indeed they seem to only talk about the free gift, but also seem to reject that gift.
For God has not called us to live in sin. He has called us to live a holy life
Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit. – I Thessalonians 4:7-8
Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.
Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God.
So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers does not belong to God. - I John 3:6-10
The churches should be imparting the fear of God into the wicked, so that they may turn from the ways of death and truly begin to know Jesus Christ. But they only seem to preach that which fills seats and wallets, as scripture warned us about:
But there were also false prophets in Israel, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will cleverly teach destructive heresies and even deny the Master who bought them. In this way, they will bring sudden destruction on themselves.
Many will follow their evil teaching and shameful immorality. And because of these teachers, the way of truth will be slandered.
In their greed they will make up clever lies to get hold of your money. But God condemned them long ago, and their destruction will not be delayed. – II Peter 2:1-3
Rather than fear God and convey that to others, they come up with every high-minded, theological retort that they can possibly think of in an effort to rid themselves of the very thing that leads to life.
‘For among My people are found wicked men;
They lie in wait as one who sets snares;
They set a trap;
They catch men.
As a cage is full of birds,
So their houses are full of deceit.
Therefore they have become great and grown rich.
They have grown fat, they are sleek;
Yes, they surpass the deeds of the wicked;
They do not plead the cause,
The cause of the fatherless;
Yet they prosper,
And the right of the needy they do not defend.
Shall I not punish them for these things?’ says the Lord.
‘Shall I not avenge Myself on such a nation as this?’
“An astonishing and horrible thing
Has been committed in the land:
The prophets prophesy falsely,
And the priests rule by their own power;
And My people love to have it so.
But what will you do in the end? – Jeremiah 5:26-31
“Behold, you trust in lying words that cannot profit.
Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, burn incense to Baal, and walk after other gods whom you do not know,
and then come and stand before Me in this house which is called by My name, and say, ‘We are delivered to do all these abominations’?
Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of thieves in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it,” says the Lord. – Jeremiah 7:8-11
“Therefore you shall speak all these words to them, but they will not obey you. You shall also call to them, but they will not answer you.
“So you shall say to them, ‘This is a nation that does not obey the voice of the Lord their God nor receive correction. Truth has perished and has been cut off from their mouth. – Jeremiah 7:27-28
But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty,
lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was. - I Timothy 3:3-9
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 1:9
Timothy was told to rebuke those who sin in the presence of all so that the rest may fear (I Timothy 5:20), but many leaders in modern churches seek to comfort the wicked in their sin instead. Comfort should be given to those who are remorseful for their sins, not to those who need a swift rebuke before they perish in their sins.
But what are souls compared to dollars these days?
Shall I not punish them for these things?’ says the Lord.
‘Shall I not avenge Myself on such a nation as this?’ - Jeremiah 5:10
For the congregation of hypocrites shall be desolate, and fire shall consume the tabernacles of bribery. - Job 15:34
I truly hope that even those who take part in turning people away from the way of life will repent, and soon.
The Lord Almighty says that disaster is coming on one nation after another, and a great storm is gathering at the far ends of the earth. On that day the bodies of those whom the Lord has killed will lie scattered from one end of the earth to the other. No one will mourn for them, and they will not be taken away and buried. They will lie on the ground like piles of manure.
Cry, you leaders, you shepherds of my people, cry out loud! Mourn and roll in the dust. The time has come for you to be slaughtered, and you will be butchered like rams. There will be no way for you to escape. You moan and cry out in distress because the Lord in his anger has destroyed your nation and left your peaceful country in ruins. The Lord has abandoned his people like a lion that leaves its cave. The horrors of war and the Lord's fierce anger have turned the country into a desert. - Jeremiah 25:32-38
To think that God treated His first love in such a way over their wickedness, but will spare this lukewarm, money-hungry monstrosity for doing the same things is utterly insane.
But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. He will judge everyone according to what they have done. He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness.
There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on doing what is evil—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism. - Romans 2:5-11
God does not change. When the people who are supposed to be His are the ones leading others to hell, His fury is just, and it will be vented.
Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfect before God. Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you. - Revelation 3:2-3

Last week in a post-deleted by the OP, there was discussion about how there is no point in stockpiling antibiotics and any attemps for lay people to practice any form of health care in a widespread grid down disaster.
Myself and some colleagues wrote: Survival and Austere Medicine https://corom.org/survival-austere-medicine/ . We are slowing working on a 4th edition with some new material and minor corrections - but it is taking longer than we thought!
But I thought given the above post, I would take the opportunity to post the introduction - which address the "why bother" question for a major long-term grid down situation. Apologies for the formatting and length
"There is a sense, when considering the issues around survival medicine practice, that everything is overwhelming, that it is impossible for lay people to provide a high level of medical care and maintain a high level of population health.
We don’t think this is the case at all. We believe that intelligent lay people with some basic medical knowledge, skills, and equipment can deliver high quality health care. While it is obviously impossible for lay people to safely and competently deal with every medical problem, and there remain many complicated diagnoses requiring equally complicated or technologically advanced treatments, for 80- 90% of the health problems afflicting humanity, simple things done well are all that is required to preserve life and limb and help alleviate suffering.
Consider the following:
1. Remote Medicine Practice:
Below are the results of one of our author’s experience in the provision of health care in various remote and austere locations (some third world, some first world) to nearly four thousand people over a cumulative 30-month period (spread over 18 years) – with more data there are few minor changes from the 2005 2nd edition, but the list is essentially the same – which is interesting. The record keeping was a bit unreliable at times, but the following summary is reasonably accurate.
Top 20 presentations (representing > 95% of consultations):
1. Minor musculoskeletal injuries - ankle sprains most common, included many minor fractures which didn’t require more than diagnosis and simple care
2. Upper respiratory tract infections
3. Allergic reactions/Hay feveAnaphylactic reactions/Rashes
4. Minor open wounds – included a mix of lacerations needing closure, many needing
cleaning and advice only, and some infected wounds
5. Gastroenteritis/Vomiting/Diarrhoea
6. Mental health problems
7. Sexual health/Contraceptive problems
8. Skin infections/Cellulitis
9. Dental problems
10. Abdominal pain - 4 confirmed acute appendix (2 treated with IV antibiotics and
subsequent delayed appendix removal / 2 required evacuation) + 1 gangrenous gall bladder. Many were "no cause found". Of the remainder with a clear diagnosis the most common were renal or biliary colic)
11. Fever /Viral illness
12. Chest infections
13. Major musculoskeletal injuries (fractures/dislocations)
14. Asthma
15. Ear infections
16. Urinary tract infections
17. Burns – mostly partial thickness within the realms of management in the environment the
patient was in. Several required evacuations. Several required rehabilitation due to location and sub-optimal initial treatment.
18. Chest pain
19. Syncope/Collapse/Faints
20. Early pregnancy problems
Major trauma was uncommon but was seen including several fractured femurs and a dozen cases of multi-system severe trauma resulting in a mix of in-country surgery and evacuations
Top 12 prescribed drugs (representing >90% of medications prescribed):
1. Paracetamol (Acetaminophen)
2. Loratadine (and other assorted antihistamines)
3. Diclofenac (and other assorted antiinflammatories)
4. Combined oral contraceptive
5. Flucloxacillin
6. Throat lozenges
7. Augmentin (Amoxycillin + clavulanic acid)
8. Loperamide
9. Nystatin (and other antifungals)
10. Hydrocortisonecream
11. Ventolininhalers(Salbutamol/Albuterol)
12. Morphine
What is of note here is that the clear majority of problems dealt with are simple and straight forward – there is still potential for serious consequences but there is scope for a well-informed lay person with a basic knowledge and access to a reasonable collection of reference books to provide reasonable care. Equally the vast majority of medication prescribed are from a very narrow well defined list – despite the fact 1000’s of drugs are on the market – the list of core lifesaving or comfort preserving ones is relatively brief.
2. Why children die
The World Health Organization (WHO) has identified the following conditions as having contributed to >75% of worldwide deaths in the under 5-year age group (in no particular order):
Pneumonia Pneumonia is an infection of lungs. Prevention of this condition is somewhat limited – although good nutrition, clean and warm housing, and a reduction in the exposure to respiratory irritants (smoke) all can help. However, the most common bacteria which cause pneumonia are frequently sensitive to penicillin – which is discussed later in the book and can be produced in a low-tech environment.
Diarrhea Death from diarrhea (dehydration) is almost 100% preventable with appropriate use of oral rehydration therapy. Dirty water or poor food handling causes much diarrhea – this can be virtually eliminated by proper hygiene practices and care with drinking water.


Pre-term delivery While we are limited in the direct interventions available in an austere environment to mitigate this problem contributing factors to early labor are young age, malnutrition, smoking, poor maternal health, so there is scope for indirect intervention based on optimizing mum’s health and environment. For babies who are born prematurely the necessities of life are warmth and breast milk. With attention to detail for both things, it is possible for infants as young as 33-34 weeks to survive without high-tech intervention.
Malaria. Prevention is better than a cure, knowledge about clearing stagnant water, mosquito nets and long sleeved clothes can significantly reduce the risk. Equally quinine is derived from the bark of the Chincona tree and the Chinese have been using the herb, Artemisinin, effectively for the treatment of Malaria for years. So, while not as easy to treat or prevent as diarrhea, there is still scope for significant reduction in death rates in low-tech ways.
Blood infection Blood infection or septicemia is rapidly fatal. The ability to intervene depends on the cause of the infection and antibiotics available. Broadly, infections causing septicemia can originate from the skin, the lungs, the kidneys or bladder, and the abdominal contents. While specific treatments for these may be lacking in an austere environment – all have prevention strategies and basic low-tech treatments that can be lifesaving when applied appropriately.
Lack of oxygen at birth Of these problems, this is the one with probably the least scope for impact. Unfortunately, even if foetal distress is detected during labor (with heart beat monitoring or signs of distress like meconium), without the ability to deliver the baby quickly options are limited. That said, a caesarian section is not a massively complicated operation (and discussed in Chapter 10), and in parts of the third world is performed by trained lay people with safety and success.
Measles Again, there is limited scope to intervene directly with the disease. Measles is always around and while vaccination reduced the incidence of epidemics, sporadic cases still occur. In the absence of vaccinations epidemics of measles every few years will be inevitable. There is however some scope to minimize the spread during an epidemic with isolation and respiratory precautions during outbreaks. While some of the serious neurological complications are unavoidable in a
Prevention is better than a cure, knowledge about clearing stagnant water, mosquito nets and long sleeved clothes can significantly reduce the risk. Equally quinine is derived from the bark of the Chincona tree and the Chinese have been using the herb, Artemisinin, effectively for the treatment of Malaria for years. So, while not as easy to treat or prevent as diarrhea, there is still scope for significant reduction in death rates in low-tech ways. small number of patients, basic care such as maintaining hydration can also prevent complications such as dehydration.
Neonatal tetanus The prevention of neonatal tetanus is easy. You don’t let the site where the umbilical cord attaches to the baby get dirty. It is as simple as that.
HIV/AIDS Prevention of maternal infection is the key to prevention of infection of newborns. The steps required to prevent exposure to the HIV virus are widely known: abstinence (not undertaking sexual activity), monogamy (maintaining a single sex partner rather than multiple) and if neither is a palatable option, then safe sexual practices.
Most the conditions above have an element of either preventability or the ability to be treated to some degree in an austere environment and significant improvements in mortality and morbidity can be made.

3. The greatest advances in medicine
Several years ago the British Medical Journal ran a poll trying to identify top medical advances of the last 200 years. The following is the top 12 from that poll:
Sanitation 1st Antibiotics 2nd Anaesthesia 3rd Vaccines 4th DNA 5th Germ theory 6th = The oral contraceptive 6^th = Evidence based medicine 8th Imaging 9th Computers 10th Oral rehydration therapy 11th Smoking cessation 12th =
Just as with our discussion above about the causes of childhood deaths, this list is introduced to show just how much impact a very basic health care knowledge can have in terms of optimising health in a post-disaster or austere situation.
Of the biggest advances of medicine in the last 200 years, between 7 to 9 (depending on your knowledge and available resources) of the 12 can be applied to care in a austere situation. In particular, the knowledge of sanitation, germ theory, oral rehydration therapy, and simple manufactured antibiotics and anaesthetic agents all have the potential to be able to be continued to be applied in a post-disaster situation and to continue to contribute to a high quality of low-tech health care. In the same way that we can substantially reduce childhood death rates in a low tech post-disaster situation, we can still continue to have access to some of the biggest advances in medicine even at the end of the world.
4. Surgery in the third world
A non-specialist surgeon working at a isolated bush hospital in Papua New Guinea published his experience of Emergency Surgery over a 14 month period (similar articles have been published with similar data):
Emergency Surgery 243
Tendon repair 33 Open orthopaedics 32 Dilation and curettage 31 General surgery 29 Incision and drainage 26 Laceration repair 26 Obstetrics 23 Manipulation under anaesthesia 15 Urology 15 Gynaecology 9 Ear, nose and throat 2
Emergency anaesthesia 243
Ketamine – spontaneous breathing 166 Local anaesthesia 33 Ketamine – ventilated 16 Spinal anaesthesia 12 Propofol / thiopentone 10 Epidural 5 Epidural / GA 1
The point of this reference is to help illustrate what someone can achieve in primitive conditions with no formal surgical training and no dedicated anaesthetist. We are not suggesting that the average layperson can safely practice to this extent or breadth of surgery, but it does demonstrate that a non-surgeon can achieve much. It also shows that most anaesthetics for surgery in an austere situation can be done under local or ketamine anaesthetics.
Why this is relevant?
Each of these four references gives you insights, one way or another, into low-tech austere health care. First, it gives you an insight into the likely clinical problems that you may see in a survival situation, and how much can be dealt with in that sort of austere environment. Second, it demonstrates how medically speaking it is the small things and simple knowledge which save lives and some of the biggest killers can be mitigated with these relatively low level interventions or strategies.
In our opening summary – “Medicine at that end of the world”, we describe a pretty bleak medical reality post-SHTF. Will million’s really die from lack of access to modern heath care as we have alleged?
The short answer is yes – many will die much sooner than they otherwise would have, from disease and injury, which currently are not immediately fatal. But the answer is not nearly that simple nor bleak. The reality is that while cancer, diabetes, malnutrition or serious injury may claim many of its victim’s sooner than with today’s health care, most health problems can be treated or mitigated to a degree in a low- tech environment, with a narrow range of medications and interventions – including some cancers, non- insulin requiring diabetes and many major traumatic injuries.
Most medical problems are relatively mundane and not life threatening. Truly catastrophic problems in medicine are fortunately rare. You should focus on learning and preparing to deal with the common problems, and doing common procedures well, and you will save lives, and possibly also improve the quality of those lives.
There will be a significant change to health care but with knowledge and some preparation it isn’t quite as dire as many (including our own opening paragraph) predict. "

Hi,
I just wondered if anyone has been in the same situation as below and can offer some info:
I was suppose to have my PIP tribunal last month (April 24) but they decided to cancel and adjourn it. Does anyone know roughly what the process is from here.. do they reschedule quite quickly within a certain time frame or do they put me at the bottom of the list again? I’m just wondering how long roughly I would need to wait. I’m feeling so frustrated!
I’ve emailed and tried to call the courts but they are so difficult to get hold of.
Thank you

I'm a 27 yr old female. Tl;dr... If I wanted to leave now, they could totally cut off my bank account. I didn't have a joint bank account before. Lady at the bank was saying "it is the same as before... oh AND doing a joint account? My kids are still all on mine." I guess denial is everything. I didn't want that. But didn't speak up, since my mom gave me money to open a new one (I've been sick. Context below.)
Here is a lot of context/rants so read 1st, and skip to 2nd to last paragraph maybe to skim it... Essentially, I have been out of work for a while. I got covid in December, and pretty bad covid too. I already had issues before that, I eat cleanly and am super healthy but have a wonky immune system. I also have narcolepsy with cataplexy (N1,) as stated by a sleep dr. 6 years ago, but I didn't believe him and never followed up. They ruled out seizures and MS and I am terrified of doctors (especially now, after being yelled at by my family for my saying I needed to go to the ER with severe vomiting and vertigo, I have an inner ear thing. It acts up with allergies. Azelastine nasal spray has prevented it so I am happy for that. Humid climates fuck with me too. Before, I thought I was dying. Multiple times this has happened and I was told I would be viewed as "crazy," and they would put me away forever, so I would be better off dying myself. told me to off myself but i blocked out the exact phrasing. because I was panicking AND I COULDN'T STOP SHAKING AND VOMITING CUZ DEHYDRATION. My GP said I should go to the hospital. Praise god, or the universe thank god, I didn't die but, it was bad. Somehow, I may wish I had. But that wouldn't have been very fun.)
After covid, the N1 got worse. Much worse. I already am on high dose stimulant meds for ADHD (which is half of the treatment for N1 anyway and partially why I never followed up 6-7yrs ago, I know I'm dumb sometimes but I just thought it was a fluke.) and have been for a while. I CAN'T STAY AWAKE for things. It isn't depression (well, maybe a bit now, which doesn't help lmfao, because this shit is depressing. But I still WANT to better my life, not consistent with depression... I AM JUST SO FUCKING TIRED AND SLEEPY AND sometimes i can't tell what is real and what is not. Also cataplexy, have it on camera accidentally. And a 30s microsleep. Like this is serious. I just can't properly deal with this until I do a sleep study, insurance changes and I hated the place/organization I was with originally, not for the sleep doctor, but for a multitude of other reasons... wish i remembered that nurses' name so I can report her. It was pulling teeth with my now-retired GP for any basic med too! So, finding a new sleep doctor and study, which isn't for months.) AND THE INSURANCE COMPANIES HATE THIS CONDITION because the drugs to treat it are very controlled substances, and one in particular is V expensive/insurance loves to throw a hissy fit about. (yet another reason why I put it off, but it is an emergency at this point. I pushed as much as I could, I'm just NOT sleeping when/how normal humans should and it is ruining my life yay. I never feel rested. Ever. I pray that I will, on the odd occasion but it's like 0-1/10 in the range of 10 being well rested.)
I'm trying to justify my issues to you guys.
I am living w/ my parents. I lived in another state in college, had a planet fitness membership and GYM MEMBERSHIPS WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE stg. Jesus. Wouldn't let me cancel, I kept pausing it for as long as I could. I'm not about to drive 4hrs to cancel a gym membership, since it was out of state the employees at branches near me either didn't know what they were doing or said I wasn't allowed to do that... But I got sick this year and forgot. Bank account overdrawn. LITERALLY LESS THAN 14 DAYS overdrawn. Part of it was an overdraft fee. AND THEY CLOSED IT. I had been sick for months but was pet sitting and doing SOME THINGS (like selling old clothes, etc.) to keep a positive balance. I just got REALLY WAYY too sleepy to care about anything. And was screamed at, my father came at me physically and told me to sleep on the street a month+ ago, because I wasn't invited to one of my only childhood friend's wedding. When both of my parents were, and I WAS UPSET. I am an adopted only child with a small family. This meant a lot to me. I never saw who the envelope was addressed to.
For my birthday, my mom offered to go into the bank with me to help the situation (I felt so embarrassed, I didn't want to do it alone and embarrassed that I was falling asleep the whole time too. The lady told a joke and I just collapsed onto the desk haha, cataplexy literally. I usually hide from my family, because I don't want to be bullied.) The kind lady helping me mentioned "joint bank account." It was my birthday, and my mom was there so I was scared of speaking up and ruining any joy that I had. I just realized now, that means that my mom AND DAD have access to all of my finances. I am super private. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS. PERIOD, POINT MF BLANK jesus.
My bank account is not my own anymore. I am 27 years old. My dad refuses to let me have the rest of my money (college money, which was never used as I got scholarships based on talent... yeah. too bad I'm a human with needs too. There may b tax issues? But it is only a few thousand left, which is still enough to open a bank account on my own so at least I have that independence.)
I am working through my issues, and when I am bleeding out SO MUCH I am getting dizzy, because my dad cornered me (he is 2x my size,) in the kitchen next to a knife block, physically laying hands on me for being upset about a non-invite wedding which is a rational response, I had to physically stab myself IN THE NECK to get him to be shocked and move over enough so that I could move to a safer location where I had a way to escape. Didn't occur to me I could have hurt him instead. Was bleeding for hours and hours, cut deeper than I meant to, but I didn't even want to. It was all I could think of to get him OFF OF ME. Yes I am in therapy. This makes no sense to anyone. But my parents because I am not allowed to have any feelings in their eyes, and they won't want to feel upset if I am upset they go to a wedding of a close (like closer than my cousins,) family friend without me. THEY NEVER EVEN TOLD ME I WASN'T INVITED. I had to joke about it for my mom to get the "oh, we thought you knew." I SAW THE INVITATION. It didn't say the names of who was invited. Why would I think I wasn't?
So it is no mystery why I don't trust these people. I am so exhausted and SLEEPY that I try to limit driving as much as possible. If a sleep attack is coming on, I DON'T PUSH through it. (learned the hard way years ago haha, car accidents are only fun in GTA.) I am in the process of getting more help, but insurance doesn't care if we live or die apparently. Neither does my family it seems.
WHAT DO I DO?! Do I call the bank??? Tell the lady (who is also good friends with my family,) like, hey... uh there was a mistake I don't want a joint bank account. My mom gave my $500 AS A BDAY gift, which was nice. But it was used to reopen what I thought, was my bank account.

Title was deliberately vague. As I don’t want to trigger anyone but I am talking about pregnancy loss.
My wife have have been married for 8 years and had 4 miscarriages over the last 4 years. The first 3 were fairly early (8-12 weeks) however the most recent was at around 22 weeks. This has absolutely devastated us as we were so excited and the riskiest stages seemed to be over. We have decided not to try for any more kids as we both cannot face putting ourselves through that again.
That’s the background. My questions is this. How long is reasonable to wait before sex. Or rather will sex ever be the same again? I ask because it’s been about 6 months and we haven’t done anything. That is fine, she is grieving and I am not putting any pressure on her at all about this. The thing that is worrying though is that the other day we started making out (I sound like a teenager) and after a few minutes she abruptly broke it off and walked away. I spoke to her about it and I think what happened was she started to get turned on and her body had a fairly violent reaction to that feeling and she said it made her feel sick. Now I’m worried that so much of your sex life over the last years has been geared toward getting pregnant… is this going to be an issue that needs to be dealt with? Or does it just need time? If so how much time? I’ve mentioned grief counselling to her but she is against that idea. I just want to make it clear, I’m not asking because I’m desperate to jump into bed with her. I just want to know how best to support her.
TLDR will sex ever be normal again after multiple miscarriages?

Day 0!
5/13, total lap, took uterus, cervix, tubes, and did a bladder check. Edit: both ovaries intact.
I checked in about 840, surgery about 1040. One final pregnancy test. The staff was amazing (except the anaesthesiologist was a bit of a dick to one of the nurses, I didn’t like that-I think I might be reporting that… but he was fine to me). Even my gyno who I wasn’t a fan of during our appointments, I could tell surgery is where she was meant to be. I met my OR nurse, anaesthesiologist, and my gyno/surgeon in pre-op where every single person (plus surgical day care nurse) went over everything with me again and again, and ensured I was comfortable with what we were planning to do, and confirmed that barring any issues, my catheter would be removed during surgery, and then a camera check up the urethra and into the bladder. There was a slight hiccup in something in the lab with my pre op blood work where they listed me as a c section (ABSOLUTELY NOT) and something in the test regarding transfusion expired within 3 days and I did my pre op Thursday. I was worried it was going to delay things but since I have been fortunate and never had a transfusion (and the surgeon believed me and didn’t want her day messed up, plus they had the Thursday results) they called the lab, they were there super quick, and it was drawn up then I was wheeled in to the OR. Once in the OR they had me transfer onto the table, got me situated, introduced the surgical team, and my surgeon went over everything one last time while I was still conscious and made sure everyone was on the same page and ready to go. I was given oxygen and told to take a few deep breaths, and then they started pumping meds into my IV and I was out.
From what I hear (my surgeon called my mom/pickup person) it all went like clockwork. I was out in under two hours, into recovery to wake up and when I came to, three nurses (or health care workers, whatever their role, but I think RNs) were chatting about me near my bedside on how I had a lack of requirements before I could be discharged. I don’t think they realised or expected me to be awake so quickly but I said I had been told that as soon as I could walk to the bathroom and pee on my own, I could leave. They looked a little shocked. Not sure if because I was awake or because I knew what I needed to do.
I did say in recovery to my nurse that I felt like I needed to pee, but they wanted me to wait until the hour was up in recovery and I was transferred back to surgical day care.
Once I was in day care I was given juice, digestive cookies and my phone and started texting my mom, who was right outside, and said I was back to where she could come see me. The person at the desk at the front tried not to let her in and said I wasn’t back yet (not sure if there was a lack of communication or no) but mom insisted I was texting her and telling her I was back, and the woman from the desk had to come in and check for herself that I was back… and asked my nurse-who was again nearby-and I heard the front desk woman muttering and said something about “her mom”. I piped up and said don’t try to stop her from coming in, she won’t go away and she would get in either way, I’m texting with her now. The woman didn’t like that much, but my nurse laughed and okay’d her coming in.
Nurse back in day care listened to me pretty quick, did her checks and made she I could sit/stand and disconnected my IV line. She walked me to the bathroom to make sure I was okay. I peed without issue-it was a bit tender coming out but no burning… but man. Maybe bring your own toilet paper. That rough stuff is even rougher when you’re sensitive😳
I felt immediately better cause now I knew they could let me out once my final hour in recovery was complete. Another glass of juice, some more post op checks done, and I was able to get my IV out. (I know most people wouldn’t like IVs but it was a huge hang up for me… my veins suck and it was tender and once they confirmed I could leave I wanted it GONE.
Passed the rest of the time chatting, going over discharge paperwork/instructions, then I was given the official go ahead to change and leave. Slow going, changing, and man the hospital pads are atrocious (and no wings?!). I peed once more, hating the toilet paper but loved the mesh ish shorts they gave me and asked for a couple more, and they gave me two or three more. I was allowed to leave just after 230pm.
I was able to walk out of the hospital on my own two feet. Slowly, but walking and being upright felt much better than sitting. The nurse said it was allowed as long as mom was right there (which she obviously was) in case I got dizzy. We walked out to the front entrance (elevator, no stairs of course), and I stood at a safe spot where I could sit if I needed to, while she went and got the car from the far side of the lot. I probably could have walked it, but it was slow and didn’t want to chance anything.
The ride home was a bit rough-I forgot my pillow and I think that would have helped. Held my hands/palms onto my lower belly for some support. It was manageable, I wasn’t crying out in pain or anything, but definitely internally felt every little bump despite mom trying her best to avoid them.
I’m staying in my own apartment, (parent’s offered me to stay at theirs but I’m far more comfy in my own place, and no stairs) my dad’s sleeping on the couch while my pup is at the house with my mom and their two dogs. So far I’ve been able to manage on my own but it’s nice knowing he’s here incase I need something. When I got home, much to my dad’s chagrin (he wanted to do it for me), I made myself buttered toast, had an ice cream sandwich, some arrowroot cookies, a Tylenol and after eating upright and walking in circles a bit, I went to my bed with my heating pad, pregnancy pillow and about 8462619 other pillows I adjusted as needed. I’m very happy I had a pregnancy pillow. I was debating getting the wedges but decided with the option of Amazon same day/next day delivery, if I changed my mind it wouldn’t be long without it.
Obviously there’s more internal room now, but a heads up-I’ve peed a few times since getting home (it’s near 1am) I have noticed that “hmm I need to pee” turns quickly into “YUP GOTTA GO” when I stand up. I think that little bit extra gravity assist hits when I stand. No burning, still just a bit sensitive, but I bought a peri care bottle with a nozzle on it and is it a game changer. The hospital gave me one but it didn’t have an angled nozzle, which to me is useless unless I want to climb in my shower every time or end up with water all over my floor. First time I used it, I just rinsed with cool water multiple times as it was soothing (not going into the vagina).
There’s been very little blood so far-some spotting but not much.
The pain? Feels like a concentrated day 2 of my usual bad periods, with low back pain (helped greatly with heating pad). Like most of us here… we’re used to heavy pain so it’s not all that unbearable.
I was given tramadol, and didn’t take my first one until 9pm. Didn’t love the feeling. And my limbs started tingling which was weird. That’s supposed to be a withdrawal effect. But my body doesn’t handle drugs well so could just be me. I’ll see what happens later in the night if I need something else, I’ll take it. But so far the pain/discomfort is reminding me not to sleep how i normally do-on my side with my leg up toward my abdomen.
I’ve got my naproxen and Tylenol that the pharmacy okay’d me to take instead of Advil and Tylenol.
Forgot to mention-my throat is a bit sore, but not nearly what I expected. Feels like I just spent some time around a campfire where the smoke randomly followed me. One Halls seemed to help, and of course, ice cream sandwiches 😂.
And now to wait for meeting the real me after 20+ years of being on oral birth control… should be some definite hormonal swings during recovery plus that, but can’t wait😂🤦🏻‍♀️
Edit: one thing I did that I haven’t seen posted otherwise in this subreddit is that I put a cooling cloth, soaked in water, in a ziplock bag, and stuck it laying down flat in my freezer before surgery. I don’t think I really needed to, but I had that laying (with clothing on and a tea towel wrapped around it) on my lower belly and it molded perfectly as it melted a tad, and felt great. I wasn’t told not to ice it, I wasn’t told to ice it, but I figure as long as it feels good, it’s not damaging anything or getting anything wet. Might be something for others to consider! I wouldn’t want the weight of a large ice pack or anything on me right now, but just that in the ziplock with a light pillow overtop was perfect.

https://www.whirlpool.com/blog/kitchen/history-of-microwave.html#:~:text=When%20was%20the%20microwave%20invented,the%20microwave%20oven%20in%201945.
https://www.cnet.com/home/kitchen-and-household/appliance-science-the-tasty-physics-of-microwave-ovens/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microwave
https://edisontechcenter.org/Microwaves.html#:~:text=The%20microwave%20oven%20uses%20a,water%20molecules%20in%20the%20food.
https://www.energy.gov/eere/fuelcells/hydrogen-production-electrolysis#:~:text=Electrolysis%20is%20the%20process%20of,a%20unit%20called%20an%20electrolyzer.
https://support.echoh2o.com/hc/en-us/articles/16948460252436-How-long-does-Hydrogen-last-in-water#:~:text=In%20an%20open%20glass%20of,bit%20of%20hydrogen%20loss%20everyday.
https://www.google.com/search?q=does+hydrogen+vibrate+in+microwaves%3F&client=ms-android-motorola-rvo3&sca_esv=c24955e436027d1c&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ACQVn094PGAJlqGnF-XsP997BL7zT3P6rQ%3A1708032706470&ei=woLOZaCoHJrewN4PwMmfmAU&udm=&oq=does+hydrogen+vibrate+in+microwaves%3F&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIiRkb2VzIGh5ZHJvZ2VuIHZpYnJhdGUgaW4gbWljcm93YXZlcz8yBRAhGKABMgUQIRigATIFECEYoAEyBRAhGJ8FSMjaAVDIGVjN0wFwAXgAkAEAmAHpAaAB5TKqAQcyNC4zMS4yuAEDyAEA-AEBwgIHECMYsAMYJ8ICChAAGEcY1gQYsAPCAgsQABiABBiKBRiRAsICBhAAGAcYHsICChAAGIAEGIoFGEPCAgoQABgHGB4YDxgKwgIIEAAYCBgHGB7CAggQABgFGAcYHsICCxAAGIAEGIoFGIYDwgIIEAAYgAQYogTCAgYQABgFGB7CAgYQABgWGB7CAgQQIRgVwgIHECEYChigAYgGAZAGCQ&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp
…Am i on to something? -Aaron Duggan…
…If an electrolyzer and magnetron can actually contain radiant energy, as a household product since the invention of theory, in the 1940's(microwave) -just after world war two…is this electromagnetic science after 60 years, capable of tapping into frequencies that can manipulate other elements' (other than hydrogen)???...Transfer this technology into propulsion mechanisms since the microwave went from seventy pounds to light weight in this time, and… - have our governments secretly for safety, excluded us in human Warmongering Tech???
We're told as civilians in correction, an object is different than an "Alien Race" - sociological movements removing old stigma to replace "👽 UFO" as "UAP", even though our own governments are deceiving us into "phenomenon".
…eg;
"OPERATION: FOXBAT"
https://www.nationalmuseum.af.mil/Visit/Museum-Exhibits/Fact-Sheets/Display/Article/196331/mikoyan-gurevich-mig-25/#:~:text=The%20Soviet%20MiG%2D25%20(NATO,air%2Dto%2Dair%20missiles.
…and then, today…
https://youtu.be/zlrz84nEXtk?si=K3B4cq5j8MldAaQD

Hi,
me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. The breakup for devastating for me. We were dating for 8 years, living together for 4 years. Shortly before the breakup, we were in a process of buying a home, planning a family. I moved for her work across the state half a year ago and we already bought a safe family car.
When she broke up with me, it was sudden. She told me she suddenly lost all feelings for me, she doesn't love me anymore, she doesn't feel anything while looking at our photos apart from nostalgia, that she felt things like never before with her colleague (emotional affair), that I am a terrible person and she never wants to get back together. All she said was cold and very clear and truth be told, hearing all this, I was shattered. Unable to go to work, having no home anymore, it was devastating. I moved back to my home city and trying to pick up pieces of my life.
After some time, we started texting again, despite her wanting strict non-contact. When I didn't text her, she did, and vice versa. In a process of talking, she often asked me about restarting our relationship, asked me whether I would be willing to move again and confessed that she did not threw away our photos like she told me. When picking up last bits of things, we slept together and it was the best and most emotional sex we both ever had. Afterwards, we talked for hours and she invited me to her sisters wedding as her plus one.
If I ask her about it, she says that nothing changed. However, the mixed signals I see are giving me hope. Living with someone for so long does not allow me to just let them go like that, without trying to see some sort of solution.
How should I navigate this toxic mess?

Reddit Account: u/Thenn_Applicant
Discord Tag: Garin
Name and House: Dorian Merryweather
Age: 49
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.](Dodin-Bouffant-The-Taste-of-Things-Vest.webp (500×650) (williamjacket.com))
Trait: Numerate
Skills: Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
Talents: Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
Negative Trait: N/A
Starting Title: Lord of Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography:
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
Timeline:
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
Family Tree:
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Auxiliary Character:
Name and House: Florys Merryweather
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual](0_0.png (896×1344) (discordapp.com))
Trait: Hale
Skills: Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
Negative Traits: N/A
Starting Title: Heir to Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Timeline:
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
NPCS:
Ser Leo Merryweather (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
Saathos Tevelyan: (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to

i like Warhammer 40k, but 40k doesnt afford you the abilty to let you play your own custom character or faction if it isnt up to certain specs in tournaments(lore strict rules). and running an army battle in dungeons and dragons is overly complicated unless you ignore a bunch of rolls and rules.
i propose a blend of both. who's cannon takes place in the cosmos of perspective.
(you make your own faction cannon. )
each unit type has user generated has one data sheet, each named character you have would have their own data sheet.
the models can be 3-D printed or kitbashed, but they must be at 1/36 scale. essentially one infantry= one of those cheap plastic army men standing at 5 cm tall.
from here, this was typed up before today, by a few months. there is no campaign.
but i would imagine a new fandom in table top roleplay would be born regardless
___________________________________________________________________________________________
WELCOME TO BATTLEPOSTINGS T.T.R.P.G.
A tabletop rpg for diy, model painting, kit bashing, 3-DPrinting, and plastic army battling enthusiasts.
all parts of this game are user generated, with the exception of the rules. Though u/Khorde__the__Husk sent this to a bunch of redditors for help in balancing the game and setting up basic play structure.
Things to note:
· You must have one “advisor” per two warlords in the session. Advisors, act as the game master to make sure no one is cheating. If there is confusion on what kind of weapon a unit has in their hands or equipped to their armor, the Advisor has final say. The advisor is supposed to keep the game fair.
· In theory you could have as many players as you want, but no more than four is recommended because turns consist of multiple phases that are meant to organize the battle strategy for each player.
· Players are encouraged to kit bash, 3-D print, or purchase traditional plastic army men. For the sake of scaling, follow the scaling of the image below. But you must have your own general. It is recommended that your general be unique, make it yours. Have fun.
· Players can make their own campaigns and lore. Such attempts are encouraged. For the purposes of release, you can follow the campaign I have written.
· For any session, you will need a handwritten or typed general’s reference stats Dossier, 1D20, tape measure, and an army of which you will fight with. (painted)
· When rolling on a check, higher is always better. 20 is always a success
· Your armies stats are fixed and defined in this document. Your general’s stats are dictated by the roll of a 1d20. These stats are:
o morale
o Movement speed
o Accuracy
o Health points
o Punch
· Turns are split into phases.
o bombardment
o Movement
o Attack/counter attack
· The different types of units are:
o Infantry
o Armor
o Airborne
o B.A.M.(BIG ASS MACHINES)

· We play at a 1/36 scale. All models are at that scale.

• TERRAIN AND COVER

make your own terrain and cover. kitbashing, 3-D printing encouraged. terrain is the battleground, the floor the pieces and obstacles stand on. obsticles can be anything. debris, nature, etc. obstacles are cover. if an attacking piece can see the defending piece in its entirety, the defending piece is in the open. if the defending piece is partially seen by the attacking
· Ability checks logic below:
20=crit hit/sucsess
1=jam(gun)/woopsie(melee)/crit fail
To succeed , a unit must roll their combined ability score. This is their base ability +general ability. Debuffs such as kickback only are applied to whatever you rolled when you roll for an ability check.
Regardless, the fundamental rules of this game will apply to your creations. these are an assortment of rules designed to keep the game fair and guard against unfair players(referred to as God-Emperors or God-empresses) and hopefully combat power creep.
Now lets expand upon these ideas so you can have fun kit-bashing and army smashing quicker.
GENERAL’S (named character) STAT DOSSIER
Your army’s stats are based on your general’s stat Dossier. The leader of a nation is oft a good indication of how high of a quality their army’s going to be.
The first thing you should write is your general’s name, then write their bio. Their bio includes their background, their homeland, what politics are involved (if any). It is not recommended that you write a novel, you have a game to play. What are the weapons that your general will have on their person? What are their character traits? How will those traits affect how the game is played?
The next thing to do is to make a picture of your General that resembles the piece you kit-bashed for your general to be. It can be menacing, wholesome, serious or whacky. As long as the design choices resemble what your army has for their design and your general’s character traits. It doesn’t have to be hand drawn. A photo of your piece will suffice. no general may have a skill number higher than 16.
ARMY STAT DOSSIER:
what good is a king without a kingdom?
terrible.
each type of unit gets one ARMY STAT DOSSIER. you can have as many scout infantry you want, but you need a dossier on how they are deployed, what weapons they use, and most importantly, THEIR STATS. make sure your unit type description is comprehensive including what styles of combat they are trained for. this could influence your decisions on how you play. give them lore for shits and giggles. no unit may have a skill number higher than 15.
WEAPON STAT DOSSIER
this is the list of weapon types and their ability modifiers.
when attacking bare handed, you go by your unmodified stats.
STATS EXPLAINED AND BORING SHIT
Now comes the part with the dice. You only need 1d20. This is to reduce the confusion.
· Morale
Rolled by 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit.
Morale is basically moral law. How far will your troops go to follow your orders? If your morale over a given unit is 1, the unit in question is shell shocked for one whole turn, to be marked with a yellow slip. If your unit is shell shocked, it is traumatized to where it cant follow any orders on the next turn. If for some reason the morale hits 0, that unit defects and must be marked with a red token. Units that defect are now under control of your enemy. If defected units hit 0 authority again, it simply dies. Suicide. Cowards way out.
The Morale that your general has over friendly units is base unit morale +the general’s modifier. Your general’s base Morale is the number you rolled the 1d20 for. If for any reason your general’s morale score goes below 0, the general must rally all nearby troops (within 30cm) to protect the general for one turn on the next turn. If your general’s morale hits zero, you get shell shocked, and your general cannot take action for one turn and if your general was within line of sight of any other allied unit, the observing unit cannot take action either.
· Movement Speed
Rolled by 1d20, measured by cm on a measuring tape or meter stick because inches suck.
Movement speed is how much ground a given unit can cover. Unless your object has a punch score higher than the hp of an obstacle, or can fly, you will have to go around the obstacle. There are exceptions. If the obstacle is below the knee of an infantry unit, the infantry or whatever can climb over at the cost of the individual unit climbing modifier.
The base movement speed of your general influences the movement speed of your troops. To find a troops total movement speed:
Your unit’s base movement speed + your general’s base movement speed = total troop movement speed. See army stat dossier or named character stat dossier.

· Accuracy
Rolled by a 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit
Accuracy must be rolled every time a unit attacks an enemy unit.
Accuracy is basically the chance of your selected troop hitting their targets. Different weapons and vehicles have different accuracy modifiers(aka kickback or x-range), and different types of troops have different base accuracies. Accuracy can affect enemy/friendly Health points or morale. If a shot hits near enough to a troop, or makes a kill close enough to another troop, the troops affected must undergo a morale check with the exception to nearby friendlies of any troop who gets an enemy kill.
Explosives and artillery have an area of effect. any troop within the inner blast radius (with the exception of troops behind sufficient cover) is dead. Any in sufficient cover, or within the outer blast radius must make a morale check. Sufficient cover is a piece of the environment which has an assigned hp that is higher than the punch of an explosion.

Small arms fire requires line of sight for targeting. The path of bullets is a straight line, keep this in mind when deciding collateral damage. Friendly fire is a thing and it is a war-crime. If you want to play nightmare mode, your general gets summoned to a military court tribunal and executed if three friendly troops or more die as a result of friendly fire that occurred by your command.

Melee combat can only be conducted during movement phases. If its melee vs gun there is the variable of line of sight. If the melee unit is within line of sight, the gun unit has advantage. If the melee unit is outside of line of sight of the gun unit, the melee unit has advantage.
To find your troop’s accuracy:
general’s base accuracy+ troop base accuracy- kickback. The higher the accuracy the better.

· Punch
Punch is how much damage a unit causes to another unit or object should they pass their accuracy check. Different weapons pack a different punch. Remember to add their bonus to the punch check roll.
When attacking an obstacle or object, units must roll against the hp of the object. If the roll lands on a number that meets or beats the hp, the object or obstacle is destroyed.(marked with red sticky note and can be traversed as if the object was destroyed. Bullets pass thru within reasonable trajectories, no ricochet)
When attacking units, whatever is rolled is subtracted from the victim’s hp. The victim can only move at half of their normal movement speed afterward.(treaded, wheeled, and airborne vehicles excluded from the debuff even if they are hit. They are treated as obstacles with the addition of the passed accuracy check requirement.)
· Health points(hp)
Health points are what determines how close your units or general is to kicking the bucket. In any game mode, If your general kicks the bucket, you lose. If you have no units other than your general, you lose and your general must go into hiding. each unit and general may have no more than 10hp. powercreep is bad
UNIT CLASSES
Unit Classes are determined by how big the individual unit is, and how it traverses the battlefield. The smallest and most common all the way to the biggest and most intimidating of units are all fit into several categories by what they look like. To solve disagreements on what class your unit is, the advisor has final say. Disagreements should be easy to avoid if you design your units properly. It would be useful to stick to a theme. Candy punk, steampunk, horror, medieval, sci-fi, and historical designs are all fine, you could even come up with your own. A theme will be better for discerning friendlies from you enemies. At the same time, make your units discernable enough that players and especially advisors can easily determine what classes your units are.
· Your general/warlord, whatchacallit
Your general is the most valuable unit because it is what you have to control your forces. Without a wise and strategic leader, your forces will fall into disarray and you will lose the war. You can only have one general, and you made it yours. Kitbashing and 3D printing would likely be your most common means of gaining a general. They must take resemblance of the general on your general stat dossier they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Infantry
The easiest to acquire and kit bash. This allows for vast hordes of infantry, or small fireteams, or something in between. Find your play style. Your infantry should be as tall as the plastic green army men in the image below. These men and women are the bravest of them all.
they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Armor
Mainly made up of vehicles and smaller mechanical suits, must be land based. Expect tanks, jeeps ,Humvees, calvary mounted animals etc. here is an image I ripped for scale as to the largest example of armor you can have. Not my drawing. Its basically the largest tank ever built replace the man in the image with one infantry and you have your scale. Or 0.283333333 m* 0.283333333 m *0.5m
these machines will break down in water terrain.
· Airborne
Airborne units can only fly. They can drop bombs, airdrop armotroops, and attack up to one target per gun that the aircraft is equipped with(within range) as they move. Their biggest weakness is anti-aircraft weaponry and enemy aircraft weapons. How big can an aircraft be?
2.44 meters. X 2.44 meters by 0.60 meters is your maximum for all airborne units.
any airborne that fly like a plane have a +4 to their movement stat but can only bomb ground units 15 cm in front and attack any unit that is in front of it
anything that flies like a helicopter does not have this buff or debuff, they can shoot at any target, but can only use missiles for up to 15 cm on ground units.
NAVAL VEHICLES
Naval vehicles can be big or small, but they can only operate in the designated water terrain area. they can carry troops, they can fire artillery, depth charges, missiles, torpedoes, and submarines can hide below water for three turns before air runs out. but they can be spotted by sonar. if a submerged vessel is within 10 cm of an enemy surface or submarine vessel, the enemy vessel can act as if they know where the submerged vessel is even if the submerged vessel is still submerged.
· B.A.M. ‘s
Big Ass Machines are basically giant robots and massive land ships. These can be Game breaking depending on how you build them and how big you build them. They can fire upon one target per weapon. how big Can these be? They cannot be more than 1.5 meters tall or take up a ground area larger than 4 meters. Players are not allowed to use functioning motor vehicles including, but not limited to cars, trucks, busses, etc. rule of thumb, if you can ride it, you can’t play it. It might as well be just fan art. The maximum distance these can move at any time is 2000cm. to move these, they must make a special movement check. War machines of that size can get stuck easily, so subtract your general’s movement speed from your final roll on each check. If they are larger than the specified limits, you’ve built a giant immobilized obstacle for one turn.
Mobile terrain essentially is a whole battlefield or obstacle of its own. The biggest difference is that anything other than B.A.M. compatible units that are attached to the B.A.M'S can’t be removed from the B.A.M.'S. Artillery such as main guns can’t move, only rotate. same with S.A.M.S. , C.R.A.M.S., and anti aircraft weaponry.

EQUIPMENT AND ARMAMENT
Guns and RE’S(ranged explosives)Require a reload period(one full turn) every so often. Dual wield is an ability that is only applicable to infantry equipment . dual wield only applies when two identical weapons are in both hands of a single unit. Range is how far a weapon can fire before a debuff is added to your accuracy roll. For every 10 cm beyond the stated range, an x-range debuff of -1 is added.
Overheat can only occur on weapons that are labeled with overheat. Every time a gun with overheat is about to fire , a coin must be tossed. If the coin lands on heads, the gun overheats. Overheating will cause the unit to explode. The explosion will deal 1d20 damage to anyone/anything within a 6 cm radius. You only need to roll once.
Cone is a special debuff. Weapons with cone Can only fire at sequential targets within 25 degrees of original target.
im having trouble with deciding the individual weapon stats. so ive decided that i am going to leave those up to you. (the moment i hear people are getting into fights IRL, i will be putting in an elaboration which will settle all disputes regarding equipment and artillery... and i wont be happy about it.)
players are encouraged to record their battles in battle reports and post it online in their relevant subreddits. if they win/lose, then the player is encouraged to come up with a lore reason for any change in tactics, named characters(generals), or stats.
an army is considered overpowered if they can take out all opponents in as little as 10 turns. they must be nerfed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
unlike overpowered, underpowered armies can be taken out in 10 turns. they must be buffed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
this is sci-fantasy/high fantasy, battles are supposed to be epic and economically exaggerated.
write the name of the weapon, the type of weapon.(melee or gun) and its accuracy and punch modifiers.(bare hands is melee and equal to. magic is gun)
spells must be vetted in good faith by advisors prior to the game to prevent game breakage. spells may not kill units or generals in one blow. spells effects can only last one turn unless its a healing spell. healing spells cannot heal more than 5 health points at a time per unit. write out the spells you have for your units and have them vetted by an advisor, advisor will determine gamebreakability of the spell. if spell is determined to be game breaking, mid game, the advisor will have the offending spell removed and the turn undone. at wich point the offending player effectively must alter their strategy in the spirit of good sportsmanship.) There are three approved arcane focuses, wands, staves, and hand casting, (one must not make them look like the caster is going to punch something, have them hold an orb or something.)
(the moment i hear that people get into IRL fights over spells, i will make a list of approved spells and a LONG LIST of forbidden spells. and no one will be happy. )
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE
Dont be a dick, be a good sport, and have fun.breaking thegame intentionally is a dick move. advisors are encouraged to post their reports of game breaking spells so it may help me in the event Khorde__the__Husk has to revise the rules.

This letter has been a long time coming. But, it feels better to put pen to paper than it does to just pray to one I’m not sure I believe in.
I, truthfully, resent you. I’ve no idea what I’ve done to face a battle like this on my own. I’ve no idea what I’ve done to follow in the footsteps in my father and his father; the only difference being one had the good will to die, and the other to get sober before killing himself.
I’d been selfish in little ways— making excuses to skip work to audition or perform a play. An extra break on a slow day for an extra cigarette. Nothing consequential.
And yet, before thirty, I face my mortality. I face it alone. I have but a lover that doesn’t want to see me go, and fragmented friendships with girls I’ve played music with.
Friends, old and new, remain unsure of how to comfort me, if they try at all— I’ve put walls up for so long I’m not ever sure how to let them.
But, I know, will die resenting you. I may smile while I watch a Wes Anderson film or hear a song by whatever band. I may feel moved by the greenery of West Virginia, the robust culture of Pittsburgh, and the beauty of a quiet life in Ohio. But, as I fade, I will remember the loneliness I feel in my last days.
I’d spent my youth falsely devoted to your service. My younger, closeted about my bisexuality, giving you and your cause and sizable amount of my income. I will die regretting this, missing old friends, the Rocky Mountains, and having the strength to strum my guitar at my lowest.
I know have next to nothing. And I resent you for that.
Regrettably faithless,
Matthew

I am assuming we have norovirus but whatever it is is soo gnarly I remember reading things about it on here and people were saying things like “buckle up” but they weren’t kidding.
Currently on vacation with our 14 month old in a tropical island and the first two days were amazing and then her and I got sick… seeing the on resort nurse tomorrow but assuming they will say not much we can do other than fluids bland meals etc?
Toddler went almost 24 hours without throwing up and then threw up again right as I started getting sick :(
Anyone else have experience with this? How long does it last? Tell me it gets better… we fly home in 2.5 days and I’m playing out scenarios like pushing out flight and staying longer cause I can’t imagine flying now.

Many people are calling for Ned's head lately.
I don't think he's been perfect. He has a positive reputation around the league at least as a person and businessperson. That doesn't mean he's a good scout.
I think it's important to separate hirings into categories one would attribute to the owner, the coach, or the general manager, even though it is reportedly a collaborative process and Paulson has to sign off on everything. It is also essential to note that different coaches have different systems, styles, strategies, and tactics. Players identified as having the skills, disposition, mentality, etc. for particular purposes under a particular coach may not work as well in different circumstances. For example, I'll suggest that having a slow right centerback isn't as much of a problem with a right fullback who can track back, central midfielders who can help cover, and an offense that defends higher, doesn't turn the ball over so often, and is effective in attack. Also, given the relatively sudden and unexpected departures of Porter and Wilkinson, and the transition periods between coaches and scouting/technical staff, it's important to note that there were times when there weren't people in particular roles and the styles, tactics, strategies, philosophies, etc. weren't clear or changed.
While I have no proof and Ned has expressed his enthusiasm for and confidence in Neville, I very much feel like Phil is Paulson's guy. It was said that he had a rapport with Paulson. I don't expect Ned to say anything publicly that isn't supportive. Maybe he actually believed Neville was the best candidate and maybe he still believes he's a good coach.
Using Wikipedia, I documented which players signed with the club or had their contracts extended while Ned was in different roles.
When he was promoted to Technical Director, he was specifically credited with scouting specific players. He's also credited with finalizing the deal with Evander in late 2022, after GW was fired but before he was officially GM. The rumor is that the deal was going to fall apart before Ned took over negotiations. I've italicized those players that Ned might have been involved in scouting, recruiting, signing, or extending who are still on the team. I've also indicated when I think it's pretty clear when a player was brought in by a coach because of some past association. I may be wrong about some and may have missed some. I know there is incomplete information but I only tried so hard. There are also situations where the player was technically signed to an extension in one year but it was effectively for the next season. The distinction between preseason and summer transfer window signings isn't always obvious. Also, many of these players were scouted for some time before a decision was made to sign them and an opportunity presented itself. For example, Wilkinson talked about wanting Lucas Melano for some time. I think Porter was big on him too. We had our eyes on Yimmi Chara for a long time too. Considering that, I'm not inclined to credit Ned with 2017 signings at all, and don't think he had much to do with the renewal or financial decisions until 2023.
Director of Scouting and Recruitment - November 2016
2017 Season
Signings

• Andres Flores - Gio
• Modou Jadama

Extensions/Renewals

• Jeff Attinella
• Kendall McIntosh
• Zark Valentin - Porter
• Dairon Asprilla
• Jack Barmby
• Bill Tuiloma

2018 Season
Signings

• Julio Cascante
• Foster Langsdorf
• Eryk Williamson
• Jorge Villafaña - Returned. Originally signed as a Porter player.
• Steve Clark
• Andy Polo - Ned is credited with scouting him. GW took credit for his extension.
• Cristhian Paredes - Ned is credited with scouting him.
• Samuel Armenteros
• Tomás Conechny

Extensions/Renewals

• Zerek Valentin
• Jeremy Ebobisse
• Modou Jadama
• Bill Tuiloma
• Foster Langsdorf
• Kendall McIntosh

Technical Director - December 2018
2019 Season
Signings

• Marvin Loría - Ned is credited with scouting him.
• Renzo Zambrano - Ned is credited with scouting him.
• Claude Dielna - Ned is credited with scouting him.
• Aljaz Ivavic
• Brian Fernandez
• Jorge Moreira

Extensions/Renewals

• Sebastian Blanco
• Diego Valeri
• Bill Tuiloma
• Steve Clark
• Jeremy Ebobisse

2020 Season
Signings

• Yimmi Chara
• Blake Bodily
• Jaroslaw Niezgoda
• Chris Duvall
• Pablo Bonilla
• Zac McGraw
• Felipe Mora
• Dario Zuparic

Extensions/Renewals

• Dairon Asprilla

2021 Season
Signings

• Larrys Mabiala
• Santiago Moreno

2022 Season
Signings

• Justin Vom Steeg
• David Ayala
• Justin Rasmussen
• Diego Gutierrez
• Claudio Bravo
• Juan David Mosquera

Extensions/Renewals

• Felipe Mora
• Zac McGraw
• Diego Chara
• Cristhian Paredes

General Manager - December 2023
October 2022 - GW Fired
2023 Season
Signings

• Evander - Neville said that he had wanted Evander at Miami.
• Miguel Araujo
• Antony
• Eric Miller
• Frank Boli

Extensions/Renewals

• Nathan Fogaça

2024 Season
Signings

• Kamal Miller - Neville guy
• James Pantemis - Neville guy
• Trey Muse - Neville guy?
• Maxime Crepeau - Neville guy
• Jonathan Rodriguez

Extensions/Renewals

• Juan David Mosquera
• Santiago Moreno
• Eric Miller

Do we blame these guys going forward?
Jack Dodd - Technical Director - April 2023

• Former Director of Scouting for Toronto and a scout for Liverpool and Crystal Palace

Nacho Leblic - Director of Scouting - February 2024
With all of this info, I think we can blame Ned in whole or in part for the following current players being signed and / or having their contracts renewed:

1. Rodriguez
2. Evander
3. Loría
4. Williamson
5. Moreno
6. Mosquera
7. McGraw
8. Eric Miller
9. Fogaça
10. Antony
11. Mora
12. Diego Chara
13. Araujo
14. Paredes
15. Ayala
16. Mabiala
17. Asprilla
18. Kamal Miller
19. Muse
20. Crepeau
21. Pantemis
22. Sulte
23. Zuparic
24. Ikoba
25. Bravo

Gee, that's the entire roster. Realistically though, I'm only crediting him for 2023 and maybe Rodriguez. He wasn't really GM until Evander at the end of 2022. GW, Paulson, Porter, Gio, and Neville all have had input and in many cases more authority in decision-making up to that point.
Which players came and went under Ned's watch should we not have signed or not let go?
And which players who are still on the roster just objectively suck and aren't MLS-level players? As starters or depth? Who doesn't even have any potential? Who has aged out? Who is good but doesn't fit the system? Who doesn't fit Neville's system but fit Gio's? Note: this is all in MLS-level terms.

1. Rodriguez was great but is now just good and arguably doesn't fit the system. He's a second striker but we only play with one forward. I don't think the 4-4-2 we tried against Seattle was a good idea. Obviously, it didn't work. Maybe a diamond of Evander, Chara, Ayala, and Paredes. We'd need more defense to cover for Mosquera getting forward and Moreno tucking in. But I digress...
2. Evander is good but poorly utilized and inconsistent. He plays to the level of his teammates. He's not a leader. Could he be great? Probably not as a 10. He's got flashes though, so I hope I'm wrong.
3. Loría in my eyes isn't MLS level and hit his ceiling. I'll accept arguments that he's a good sub for the money.
4. Williamson is good but oft-injured, and inconsistently plays to the level of his teammates.
5. Moreno is inconsistent, sometimes played out of position, doesn't fit the system, but has potential. He takes chances, which I respect, but maybe doesn't have the best judgement. Maybe he can learn. I hope so. He tries. He's good. He could be great. He probably shouldn't be the starter all the time.
6. Mosquera is a good winger but terrible fullback. Or maybe he's a good wingback but terrible fullback, depending on how you define the roles. Maybe he has potential. I increasingly doubt it. He doesn't seem to have the mentality for it. He's Alvas Powell 2.0. I'd love to be wrong. He tried last match. If he becomes a good fullback he'll be great overall.
7. McGraw is good but terrible in the system, especially when Mosquera doesn't track back. He's just too slow and sometimes has poor judgement.
8. Eric Miller is good as a sub right fullback and decent as a sub left fullback.
9. Fogaça isn't good and has no potential. I'd love to be wrong. I like his workrate but he's not MLS quality and never will be.
10. Antony is good, not great, and maybe has potential. His first touch is garbage, he's one-footed, and he doesn't make smart runs. He fast though. I don't think he can succeed on a shitty team like ours because he won't see the ball enough. Ideally, he'd understudy to a great winger and learn from them.
11. Mora is surprisingly good. He's opportunistic. He's a leader. He's committed. He puts in effort. I still don't think he's a DP and I'd kind of prefer he was a subto an even better forward but it's hard to argue with success.
12. Diego Chara. He's still very good. People who say he's lost a step are confusing his inability to cover everybody else's mistakes, and his own occasional lapses, with having lost it. He's barely lost anything. He'd look better on a team that wasn't absolute ass. It's sad for him.
13. Araujo. I think he's good but just too slow for this system. His passing is good and he's good with the ball at his feet. His positioning and judgement seem fine, generally. I'd bet he'd look better on a better team too. I could say the same for some former centerbacks as well.
14. Paredes. He's good. He's developed and grown on me. He's pretty consistent and generally puts in effort. He rarely pisses me off. I'd hoped he'd develop into a 6 but that's apparently not to be. I think he's hit his ceiling. He's a great rotator or sub. Not a star.
15. Ayala. He's good. Could become great if he can stay healthy and get more development. I'm worried about his injury history. He's a bit small and can get pushed around a bit.
16. Mabiala. He's just too old and slow now. Good dude. Maybe his last extension was too long. I think the tactics are especially bad for him but he wasn't good enough last season either. Father Time just caught up faster than we expected.
17. Asprilla. Is he good? I don't think he really is. But his moments of sheer genius, his workrate, and his heart make him great. As a sub. Flare counts for a lot. I love it when Asprilla dazzles.
18. Kamal Miller. He's good but too slow for the system.
19. Muse. No idea man.
20. Crepeau. He's great but we sure haven't given him a chance to be great for us yet.
21. Pantemis. He's good and could be great.
22. Sulte. I've only ever seen him be awful. I wish him the best but have no reason for optimism, especially since Muse came on.
23. Zuparic. He's the best player in the league, obviously. He's good. Maybe he was great once. He's not good enough for the system at least. If Neville ever substantively changes tactics I think he could be solid for us again. Seems like his attitude may be a problem though. Who knows what to believe?
24. Ikoba. Absolute mystery to me. I assume the worst from context clues. Wish him the best. I think he, Sulte, and all who came before underscore how wretched our academy system is. Who do we blame for that? Does it matter? I think it does. I'd love to develop cheap players we could sell to reinvest in the club.
25. Bravo. He's great. He could be brilliant. He makes the occasional mistake but that's the price of greatness. He takes risks. He's a fighter too. Love this dude but he still gets underrated and shit on. We're so much better with him on the team. How often do we have good fullbacks, especially a left back. Him, Moreira, and Villafaña are kind of it, right? Farfan showed promise but bringing Jorge back stunted his prospects with us?

I think we are less than the sum of our parts. I don't think too many of our players are scrubs. We have too much invested in central midfield, centerback, and keeper. Central midfield was complicated by injuries and Chara's insane longevity. Our poor DP signings hurt our ability to move on from them in terms of timing and money. Ivacic was still on the books well into the last transfer window. Mabiala is taking up roster and cap space. Zuparic is questionable. McGraw and Araujo just don't seem to be good fits for the system that Neville is trying to implement. Kamal Miller isn't either but Neville doesn't realize that. I'll suggest that Mosquera not defending hurt the CBs last season too, along with the missing attacking DPs.
I don't know what we can realistically do about our problems near-term. I don't think Nevilleball works even with a right fullback who can defend and faster centerbacks. That would help. But the lack of off-the-ball movement, lack of ball progression through midfield, lack of creative runs, poor passing, low pressure, shitty zonal marking on set piece defending, not closing passing lanes, not stepping to the ball; not making incisive, line-splitting passes; not communicating, poor rotations, not making the final pass or taking shots in the box, passing back all the time, slow build-up, not covering the far post, injuries... It's a lot. Some of these problems predate Neville, so he ought to have accounted for them and adjusted accordingly. The FO has denied lack of talent is a problem. That leaves coaching and attitude or mentality. Attitude and mentality often come back to coaching IMHO.