Hi everyone, I know you must see a post like this every day but I appreciate everyone's input. I have been diagnosed with ME/CFS and IBS in the past, but they were never done by any testing just a "it might be this idk" by the doctor. In any case, it never felt right to me.
I'm preparing to finally see a doctor in a few months to really focus on the cause of my symptoms, and I feel very strongly about how many of mine align with MCAS symptoms.
Namely: Inconsistent negative reactions to foods (i.e. I could be fine eating walnuts one day, then one week they make me sick, then the next I'm fine again) Chronic bloating (>1 year of balloon belly) that PPIs reduced but I had to stop taking PPIs due to the side effects and antacids wont touch Extreme fatigue Uncontrollable weight loss Loss of appetite Tachycardia
I feel better after nyquil (I suspect it's the doxylamine) but I hate benadryl due to how oppressive and scary the drowsiness is. My relief is not full relief though. I've been REALLY sick with what I thought could be a CFS crash for over a month and I just want some relief.
Should I try zyrtec or something else? I already take a bunch of supplements, like magnesium, vit d3, coq10, and lysine.

this is a bit of a long post sorry ig.
(16F)my dad(nmom's husband they were married for 29 years) passed away about 3 years ago. since then my mom(50) has been switching around boyfriends. she's had this one for 11 months(he moved into our house 2 months into their relatioship-thats not todays topic). her bf (according to him) is an instructor for first responders and occupational emergency health. this is relevant information for the rest of this post.
so my mother openly does not give a frick about me. she has said it to her multiple bfs and my siblings and to me. she says its because im a bad child. this opens me up to abuse from her bfs her first ex would rub it in my face and it made me cry because i was young and was still healing from my dad's death. she still didnt give a f. all of her bfs have been alcoholic who are loud and rude and think they're better than everyone because of what they do(especially her current bf).also my mom didnt drink at all before she met her 2nd most recent bf, even then she would only drink on certain occasions with this bf, but with her current bf she has turned into a full on alcoholic , im talking drunk out of her mind and drunk every night, dui, coming home at 5am type of alcoholic both heer and her bf. so a few months ago my phone got water damage(it had cracks and i dropped it in dishwater while i was having a panic attack, cleaning up a mess that i knew she would get mad i made) and it couldnt get fixed. her bf originally paid to get it fixed. which i really appreciated. he then bought me a new phone, the whole time after getting me this phone he would tell me how he had to beg my mom and that she didnt want to get me the phone. which is true.
today, i started my period and the 1st 2 days of my period are always extremely painful. so i spent the whole day in my room because there isnt much that i can do.her bf bitches about me not sitting with them(even though they are the way that they are).i tell him i'm sick to try and be modest, and my mom says since when and i tell her i am on my period i cant do most things but stay in bed. she says this is your how many-th time this month. i tell her june just started, my last period(which was in may- i couldnt even go to school, she was really pissed about it) was in may. she tells me she's gonna have to start writing my period down because she doesnt believe me. i tell her she can look at my pad if she doesnt believe it. during this conversation her bf is in earshot and after i said she can check my pad, he yells my name (he's really loud btw) and with a disgusted face he says he doesnt want to hear it, he says that these are private conversations between me and my mom he doesnt deserve to hear it. although i was angered by this comment i took a deep breath and asked him to not ever yell at me ever again and said periods are normal for women, and that if his mom didnt get her period he would not exist, i told him to next time not yell at me and just say he doesnt feel comfortable hearing period talk and i would understand. i was taken aback by this because 1st of all my father would always try and support me when i was going through my period, 2ndly my father never raised his voice ever and lastly my mom's bf is a whole HEALTHCARE INSTRUCTOR, him out of all men is supposed to be comfortable or at the very least not creeped out when hearing women talk about a normal occurance like periods?! i've heard this man vomit because of overdrinking plenty of times and no one hears me telling him to get tf out of my father's house and vomit somewhere else(lol).if anything hearing someone fucking vomit and smell like vomit is leagues more disgusting than hearing someone talk about periods(which is something that ~50% of the population experiences). anywho he did not apologise or feel bad for what he said my mom then came into my room and told me i was being disrespectful and periods are a bad thing to talk about (btw my mom had her tubes tied after she had me so she doesnt get her period anymore, because her mom died of fibroids and she had the risk of having them, which means i do too), i dont remember anything else she was saying and she just started hitting me because i wasnt responding to what she was saying (she always physically abuses me when im on my periods, that are painful, usually forcing me to go to school, do chores, or just cos she feels like hitting me - so i dont expect that much from her). she then took my phone and said i'm being disrespectful to the person that loves me the most to even buy me a phone, when she didnt want to get me a phone.
Btw her bf is one of those bums of an absent father, both of his adult children grew up without him and he stopped financially supporting his kids after the mom got married(they were still really young), so he is using me to feel better about himself, he calls me and my 2 older siblings his kids and my mom forces me to call him my dad(im the only one who lives with her because im underage).
i wont ever do this because she did the same with her previous bfs and i know who my father was, he was a respectable man, he didnt drink and protected his children on the other hand she made him look crazy because she would start arguments with him then act like a victim when he would react to her, she would make him look stupid in front of us and created a smear campaign against him, but my father being the man he was never spoke bad on her name to try and protect my siblings and i's feelings, he would defend me whenever my mom would try and get violent with me. he called me his angel and would always pamper me. after he dies i was so mad at God for taking him away but now i see why. if my father hadnt died my sibling and i wouldnt have seen how evil my mother is because he was protecting us from her evil.
the thing is ive tried being nicer and more understanding with her and things just got worse. she is officially beyond any repairs, even praying to God to fix her would be a waste of time or an insult to God lol. she has a sick look of pleasure in her face when she fights with me or insults me.
i hate my mom so much.

TLDR - I lived at IT for my freshman year and worked there as an RA my sophomore year. Management is unprofessional, negligent, incompetent, and employs predatory strategies when it comes to charging and collecting money. The building has issues with maintenance, security, and community. They treat their residents and employees like shit. I cannot recommend you live there.
Please chime in with any anecdotes you can add.
I lived at Illini Tower for two years, one as a resident and one as an RA, so I can offer plenty of insight regarding the goings on of the building. Here are my experiences.
Year 1 – Freshman, Resident (2022-23)
I chose Illini Tower (IT) as a freshman because it was, at the time, actually cheaper than university housing, it is well situated on campus (close to my classes on South Quad, close to Main Quad, and it is close to Green Street), and, based on the tour, seemed like a very nice building. I didn’t have a standard for dorms, so I didn’t know how my experience compared to that of others until I made some friends living in university housing. I did not meet my RA until November and there were no events held for the first 75% of the year (until the end of the spring semester when upper management was there to help with leasing, and they needed to put on a good face). What this means is there was pretty much no community, one of the things that I know lots of people are looking for their freshman year as they come to a new place with new people. I recognize that this had more to do with my RA specifically than the building itself, but it also means that the RA’s were not held to a high standard and were not required to do anything; something that I can’t hold against my RA because I know being a student is a full time job, and if you’re not required to plan and host events, I can’t blame them for not doing it. On the topic of RA’s, later in the year, they were paid $20 per positive review of the building that mentioned their name. This resulted in RA’s telling residents to leave reviews in order to receive part of that $20 dollars. The Google review for the building is highly inflated because of this.
Water damage is a common topic when IT is mentioned, and that’s because for the last three years straight, at least, there has been a major flood in the building. The main event my freshman year occurred during Christmas break and was the result of a burst pipe which was in turn the result of an improperly closed window. I know the residents whose room flooded, they had been reporting their window for a while (which could not fully close), trying to get it fixed, but management never addressed the problem. This resulted in flooding (inches of water on the floor) in many rooms and water pouring into the lobby. The affected residents were moved into other rooms while theirs were fixed, but the group of four girls from the room where the flood originated, were placed in a cramped staff room on the first floor with one bed for a few weeks to a month.
Also common were, and are, fire alarms. My freshman year we had quite a few a week, until they (I don’t know who) determined it was a sensitivity issue and adjusted it (allegedly the alarms were tripping on any minor thing). Not too long after this, my roommate came home drunk at 3am, put chicken on the stove, and passed out. My other roommates and I woke up to our room filled with smoke. The fire alarm never went off. I don’t think we had another alarm all year.
The other major event of my freshman year was the building trying to charge us for “food and beverage tax” (a few hundred dollars), something that was not in the lease we signed. It took me coming down to the front desk multiple times (which never resulted in anything as no one ever seemed to be available), me calling the office multiple times (the phone just goes to the front desk, so same result), and, finally, my father calling every day for over a week demanding to speak to someone in order to get them to remove the charge. They eventually did, but as is a recurring issue with this building that I’ll detail more later, they were borderline unreachable if not just flat-out dodging people’s calls because they know they’re doing something shady. Management is a problem area for IT, as they’ve had four building managers in 2 years, and only one of them has been any good. She left because she couldn’t deal with upper management. Not a good sign.
Year 2 – Sophomore, Resident Assistant (2023-24)
This experience starts in my freshman year. I was interested in being an RA because I got a fully comped room and max meal plan, and asked at the front desk in October and they took my name and phone number, so they’d know I was interested. I was told I’d hear something soon. I came back about a month later and a month after that, with them taking my name and number again and telling me the same thing. No one could offer any actual information, and apartment leases started filling up in OctobeNovember, hence me asking so many times. I wanted to make sure I had somewhere to live. Finally, over Christmas break that year, I received a call from Antazah Blalock, the assistant general manager to schedule an interview when I returned in January. On the day of the interview, I went down to the desk and told the RA’s working there that I had an appointment with Antazah. I waited for about 20 minutes before being told she was out of the office and to come back tomorrow at the same time (they said they’d tell her). I came back the next day at the same time, waited a while again, and then was told she was out sick and that they’d just have her call me and schedule another interview. I waited about a week, she never called. I started going down to the front desk every day to ask for her and only got my meeting when I happened to catch her when she left her office, at which point she put me in a room with someone else who explained to me what an RA is and sent me on my way, saying I’d hear more information soon. Some time passed and I occasionally checked back in. Eventually, they posted on Instagram that applications were up. I applied and waited about two weeks with no word. I eventually reached out to the provided email, suggested for if I had questions, and never heard back. I started going to the desk every day for a few days asking about it. Again, if it seems like I’m doing too much here, I needed to make sure I had a place to live for the next year. Eventually, I just decided to renew my lease at IT and gamble on getting the job. After more hounding on my part, I eventually (in May, right before I was headed home) was told I got the job and would be getting an offer letter shortly. That came in July, and only after I asked for it a few times. That was just the hiring process. I called multiple times over the summer and was always directed to a call center who couldn’t answer my questions and said they’d have management call me back. They never did.
The offer letter we all signed stated that we would be paid hourly and receive a fully comped meal plan and room (this’ll be important later). For those unaware, the duties of an RA are to essentially foster a community on their floors and within the building. We plan and run events, check in with our residents, and try to help them adjust to life away from home. When move-in week started, many of the residents came to us with a multitude of problems. We had a ton of complaints from residents that their rooms were missing things, had notable damage, smells, or that whole appliances just flat out didn’t work. With what people were paying to live there, I can understand the frustration. Most of the rooms were not move-in ready and they were waiting for people to complain before they did anything, resulting in a huge backlog of maintenance requests that took weeks to resolve. Many times, work orders would just be checked off without staff coming to the room at all.
The rest of the post will be broken into sections by topic

A. Water Damage
As I mentioned before, water damage is a hot topic. There was one major flood this year and at least ten minor water damage incidents. Water damage happens, especially in such a large building. And when you give a bunch of kids who have never lived away from home their own bathroom and kitchen, it just magnifies the issue. Management can’t keep college kids from being stupid. Where they fall short, however, is in their response. This year, we had a resident hang a shirt from his sprinkler so he could steam clean it. This set off the sprinkler and the fire alarm. We all evacuated and waited for the fire department to arrive. When they got there, they needed to get into the fire alarm control room to turn off the alarm and the sprinklers. This room is locked and the only key belongs to the building manager, who lives in the building but was nowhere to be found. We waited around for at least half an hour before he showed up to unlock the door, the whole-time water just poured out of the sprinkler and soaked the rooms below.
As far as I’m aware, most of the affected residents were not relocated and instead had loud dehumidifiers placed in their rooms and their drywall and ceiling slowly fixed. They did not check for or do anything about mold growth. In conversation with the maintenance staff, I was told that if the building sustained much more water damage, it would need to be completely gutted and redone in order to be safe to live in.
Management can’t always keep water damage from happening, but what they can control is the response. In both major floods of the past two years, and all comparatively minor incidents (each of which still affected at least a few floors and usually the lobby), their response was [poor]()[[AS1]](#_msocom_1) .
B. Security
Another big issue with the building is security. For the entirety of my freshman year, the security cameras did not work. This year, fortunately they did. The building has 6 key entrances/exits. The two lobby entrances, the back door by the rec area, the south fire escape, the north fire escape, and the garage. The garage is always unlocked. It has been all year. We brought it to the attention of management. Nothing was done. The fire escape doors do not always close fully, and sometimes are left unlocked for long stretches of time. The lobby has two entrances. One is always locked and the other is unlocked between 9am and 11pm, while there is someone at the front desk. At nighttime it is locked so that, in theory, only residents can get in. The issue is, there was no security guard at any time of day. During the day, anyone can walk and in no one bats an eye. We get dining hall staff, postal workers, door dash, prospective residents, people’s friends, families, whatever. All of whom have business in the building. It’s hard to differentiate between these people and someone who doesn’t belong, and since the RA’s are the one’s working at the front desk, even if we identify someone that should’ve be there, all we can do is call the police. We’re not in a position to get them out of the building. At nighttime, residents come and go and people can slip in, or residents will just let people in, giving them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they just forgot their key. We have had homeless people sleeping in common areas, homeless people stealing door dash deliveries, and for a few days, a convicted criminal (convicted for breaking and entering and stalking) who was stalking a resident was reported to have been wandering the building. I’m told this resident sued IT over the lack of security. Even if we shored up the lobby security issues, people can still come and go unseen from the garage.
C. Management
The building has three managers. During my time working there, we had Michael Mulholland (general manager), Antazah Blalock (assistant general manager), and Adedoyin Akisanya (resident life manager – essentially head of the RA’s).
Michael and Adedoyin lived in the building, with Michael being the one who had the keys to the fire alarm control room who was unreachable. Michael was all talk, and never did anything. The printer was broken for the entire year, and he always said he was working on it. The regional manager came in at the end of April and had it repaired in a day. When it came to ordering supplies for building events, we were told he’d order things but he never did. This made doing our (the RA’s) jobs very difficult. He did not meet with us until November, with communication always being an issue. He would give Adedoyin things to tell us in our meetings and was unavailable when we had questions or otherwise needed clarification. Up front, he was nice and seemed good enough, but behind the scenes I’m not really sure what he was doing all day. This is just my experience as an employee. I’ve heard of issues with him from resident’s, but nothing I’m confident enough in the validity of to share.
Antazah oversaw finances – resident fines, rent, stuff like that. At one point we were having issues with residents leaving the trash rooms messy and not putting trash in bags and putting them down the chute. Her proposed response was to fine the entire floor, something known as collective punishment, which, if not illegal (which it might be), is at least highly unethical. We had to talk her out of it by bringing up potential repercussions. She is unreachable and generally does not seem competent at her job.
Adedoyin Akisanya is head of the RA’s and his duties officially include settling roommate conflicts that cannot be handled by us, managing event preparation, and just managing us. He was unprofessional from the beginning. During the first few weeks we arrived, while doing training and getting ready for move-in, as well as throughout the first semester, he encouraged us to clock in for hours we did not work, also called fraud or time theft. He also would deliver instructions from Michael and then tell us how Michael was being stupid and how we should do something else instead. He spent a great deal of time shit talking both Michael and Antazah, commonly during our staff meetings, he constantly gossiped about some RA’s with other RA’s, flat out bullied one of the RA’s on multiple occassions, bragged about having keyed one of his fellow RA’s cars the year before (he was an RA in 2022-23), tried to sell RTS packages (Return to sender – packages that arrive by mistake and need to be sent back. They never were. We had over 50), would leave to go to the library and study or go to the gym while on the clock, and just generally didn’t take his job seriously. This attitude trickles down to the RA’s. If your boss acts like his job is a joke and tells you that your job is a joke, you’re probably not going to take it seriously either.
Most of the issues above wouldn’t directly affect residents, but I believe it’s still relevant. It shows the general mismanagement of the building and reflects the themes of negligence, incompetence, and, at times, deliberate malfeasance (this will be expanded upon later).
D. Resident Assistants and Community
The building has fifteen residential floors and each has an RA. As mentioned previously, RA’s are responsible for helping to build a community. We are all full-time students as well. We were told at the beginning of the year that we needed to have an event and a meeting with our floor once each month. The first two months, we were held to this. We each did a few events, most with low turnouts (most residents don’t want to do stuff with the RA, which I understand). Adedoyin told us that we didn’t really need to do floor events or have floor meetings anymore if we didn’t want to (His own decision, not from higher up). Most people stopped or didn’t put in a lot of effort. Yes, ideally everyone would be so dedicated to the job that they’d pour their heart and soul into events for the love of their floor, but realistically, management needs to hold the RA’s to it. We were held to a low standard throughout the job. We did four or five building events each month. These typically had a better turnout and, in my opinion, were actually pretty successful. Management did not make running these events easy. As mentioned before, Michael would request a list of supplies about two weeks in advance, encouraging us to go all out. He would usually drag his feet on ordering, if he ordered at all, usually resulting a scramble to pull something together at the end. All of this would seem to indicate that management doesn’t care too much about building a community.
Other responsibilities of the RA’s included working at the front desk, helping residents with personal and academic issues, and being on-call after hours. The phone number for the on-call phone did not week for about two months, during which time, afterhours, residents could not get into their room if locked out. The number provided to residents directs them to a call center, which then directs them to the on-call phone. For those two months, the number for the call center never worked. They didn’t ever fix it, the school year ending beat them to it.
E. Maintenance
Maintenance is comprised of 3 or 4 guys and they work weeks, trading off being on-call during the weekends and at night. They would often check off work orders without actually going to the rooms (I think with the idea that if it was important, they’d just submit the order again), requiring residents to put it in two or three times. My fridge leaked for about a month, with me putting in multiple work orders. They eventually came, replaced the fridge lightbulb, and left. It still leaked. I just fixed it myself one day. I did lots of maintenance for my residents and those on other floors, including stopping toilets that were overflowing, fixing leaks, fixing air conditioning, and repairing fridges, all because it was hard to get anything fixed otherwise. We had a resident get stuck inside their room one Saturday morning (lock broke in a weird way, not his fault) and he was in there for about an hour and a half while I called all the maintenance guys trying to figure out who was on-call and who could come in. The building will also bring in contractors to do larger jobs, and they will start work as early as 6:30 AM and, at times, have entered resident’s rooms as early as 7:30 AM. Additionally, the building has four elevators (the only way to access residential floors from the lobby) for all 500+ residents. They all had expired inspection certificates for the duration of the year and for the better part of the year, the sensors on the doors did not work properly. I’ve been hit by them quite a few times and I’ve seen some people get their arms caught while trying to activate the sensor. The stairs in the building are only for fire escapes, so you can’t reliably use them as an entrance, and only the first five or six floors can realistically use them to exit. The elevators are slow, as you can only wait on two at a time and everyone must use them. There was a day when three of them were down.
F. Hiring Process
Now, a story. Again, this won’t directly impact residents, but I feel reflects the poor management of the company. We were told in August of last year that re-hiring would begin in November, at the latest. In November, we were told that they’d start first thing after Christmas break. In January we were told the applications would release on February 5^th. They came out at some point in March. Throughout this time, again wanting to make sure I had a place to live the following year, I asked Adedoyin Akisanya if he knew anything. He assured me at least five times over the course of 4 or 5 months that I had nothing to worry about and was being rehired. He also told me everyone else that was being rehired and the reasoning for not hiring those who weren’t being rehired. Again, unprofessional. Separately, Antazah had been telling people that they were being rehired. They were not. When applications came out, we submitted them and waited. Sometime in mid-April we finally heard back. Or at least those being rehired did. Everyone that wasn’t coming back had no idea decisions had even been made. The only reason I knew I wasn’t coming back is because my friend, who did get an offer letter, asked if I’d gotten one. Adedoyin conducted all the interviews by himself and passed the information on to Michael and Antazah. Multiple times he told us that he was conducting interviews based on “how fun people would be” and “who he wanted to be friends with”. He would come out of interviews and make fun of the applicants or share other details about the hiring process of some of the current and prospective RA’s. When I found out I wasn’t rehired, I went to talk to him to find out why. I did not put a foot wrong all year and went well beyond what was expected of me. He told me it wasn’t up to him and he had no idea. He then called an “emergency” meeting to tell all the RA’s (most of which weren’t being rehired but had been told that they were and were super pissed) that it wasn’t his fault and to talk to Michael and Antazah. He then called me down after the meeting to tell me why I wasn’t being rehired, all while playing with a stapler, laughing, and refusing to look me in the eye. He said this wasn’t his decision, and that all the reasons he gave were what Michael and Antazah had told him. This was the first I’d heard of any of this. As I mentioned, I don’t think I put a foot wrong all year, and no one had ever given me any idea or told me that I was doing something wrong. All of the others not being rehired had also never been told they were doing anything wrong. Essentially, everyone was blindsided by this. That’s not how you manage people. If you have a problem with them, you tell them and allow them to improve and grow.
Anyways, I met with Michael and Antazah and they both said that I “had done nothing wrong” and that they had just received better applicants. Why are they hiring nine people with no experience as an RA over someone who has a year of RA experience and has “done nothing wrong”? That’s just bad business. They then told me that I was the first alternate AND that “someone had declined their offer letter”. This, at least to me, STRONGLY implies that I was getting the job. They told me to come back after the weekend and they’d have an answer. I came back to talk to them every single day that next week and every day they postponed. I kept coming back because, again, it sounded like the job was mine. If I am the first choice alternate and someone already declined the job, then that means I fill in. Finally, the following Monday, I was told that everyone had accepted their offer letter. I’m not sure what happened to the person who declined. This was 1 week before I was to leave for the summer, leaving me one week to scout for an apartment. Because I had been told I was a shoo-in all year, I hadn’t even thought about a backup plan. Because they made it sound like I was going to be filling in for someone, I continued to delay my search so I could focus on final projects and tests, which were also going on during all of this. I was more than a little stressed. They put five of us out on our asses with no warning right in the middle of finals and now we were all scrambling to find housing for the next year, with almost all the reasonably priced units having been filled. I relied on the savings from being an RA to help me get through school. Not having to worry about food or rent is really nice.
Again, this is a personal anecdote that doesn’t affect anyone else. I have big personal grudge against the building and its management. But I think this is reflective of and in line with management who does not care about its residents or employees.
G. Deliberate Malfeasance
Finally, the worst part. As I mentioned earlier, Antazah attempted to collectively fine floors for issues caused by individuals. Additonally, as mentioned before, the RA employment contract entitled us to hourly pay, a comped meal plan, and a comped room. March 8^th, 2024 was payday. None of us received our pay. We talked to Adedoyin. He told us that it was probably fine and that we’d get paid eventually. He got paid, so of course he didn’t care. We went to talk to Michael. He said he’d look into it. We all knew what that meant, but we gave him some time. Next payday came and went we didn’t get paid. This went on for a month and a half. We talked to Adedoyin again, as he was the most accessible, and he started getting pissed and said we were being annoying and that we’d get paid eventually. Again, he got paid so he didn’t care. We needed this money. Michael still hadn’t fixed anything. Again, this is in breach of our employment contract. It should’ve been as simple as sending that contract to payroll. Eventually, I reached out to payroll myself and was told that because we were being provided food and housing, that we didn’t get paid hourly anymore. Again, in breach of the contract. I told this to Adedoyin and he got angry that I went over his head. Nothing was done about the problem. Eventually, another RA and myself reached out to the University (The Private Certified Housing Office to be specific) and the next day we were paid in full. I am confident they never would have paid us if we didn’t do something.
Now, despite food and housing being free, parking was not. This means I needed to pay parking each semester. Now, I have been unable to access my resident portal all year. I got the issue resolved in the fall and was able to pay the first semester fee. The issue resurfaced about a month later. When the time came to pay for the spring, I was unable to access my account to pay. I made this issue known, multiple times, to both Michael and Adedoyin, and nothing was ever done. For about three months, I’ve been racking up late fees, with no way to do anything about it. I’d asked them to fix it many times now. Now, about a week ago, I received a bill from IT. The charges are as follows:

Parking Fees: $312.65
Turnover: Trash/Cleaning – Deep Clean Bathroom: $60.00
Turnover: Trash/Cleaning: $60.00
Meal Plan: $241.55
BHOM Liability Insurance: $13.50
Late Charges: $82.30
I admit I owe both the parking and liability insurance, and am happy to pay them, but as mentioned, I can’t access the payment platform, so I can’t. As for the bathroom deep clean, I deep cleaned my bathroom before I left, and for the trash, I know I didn’t leave anything there. In fact, one of the rehired RA’s did my room check and can confirm that the bathroom was not left dirty and that I didn’t leave any trash. As for the meal plan, my employment contract entitles me to a comped meal plan, so I should not owe them anything for that. And finally, the late charges are only tacked on because I cannot access my resident portal to pay. I did not miss a single payment as a freshman, I was on time for my parking payment in the fall, and I have made every effort to get into my account so that I could pay my balance. I have emailed the address that I was told to contact with any questions twice, with no response, and I have called to no avail. I don’t really know what to do about this at this point. I know they’ve done this to at least one other group of residents.
Conclusion
That’s my two cents on Illini Tower. I cannot recommend that you live there, as a freshman or otherwise. I believe the university, specifically Private Certified Housing, need to look into this place. I feel like they wouldn’t want to put their name on the building if they knew what was going on. If you’re looking for freshman housing options, I recommend FAPAR and the Six Pack for university housing, and Newman or Presby if you’re looking for private certified. I’ve heard good things about all of them but do some research to find what’s best for you. IT’s prices have been drastically increasing year to year (exceeding inflation), with no improvements in their offerings. If you are living there in 2024-25, I would recommend photographing your room when you move in and when you move out, taking precautions for flooding when you leave for breaks, and being very persistent when dealing with management. Hopefully this was helpful to any prospective students.

~First~
For Newest England
...? The man simply smiles at her for a bit. She has no idea what to say or expect.
“Tea?” He asks her.
“What?”
“Tea? It’s a hot drink, locally produced actually.” He says and she blinks.
“I haven’t heard of it before.” Shelly says and he sighs.
“One of many tragedies upon this world. Although it’s likely one of the few that you yourself are not personally aware of or impacted by.” The man says. Something prickles at the back of her plating. Right in the joints. Her mother always taught her to pay attention to that, and her mother didn’t raise a fool.
“You’re real name isn’t Wettsworth, is it?”
“Very well spotted. I knew there was something to you.” He compliments her. Not actively confirming her suspicion while also answering the question completely.
“Who are you?”
“I am a very concerned citizen. This beautiful world is in the grip of four squabbling tyrants that failed to properly break off from The Gavali Empire. The Empire itself is ludicrous in many of it’s policies and would have brought about it’s own destruction by now if not for the fact that only a single small laneway connects these systems to the wider galaxy and therefore isn’t anyone’s real concern.” The man says and her eyebrows climb up and she sits back a little to re-evaluate him.
Her old training kicks in and she scans him. He’s armed. There are multiple expanded spaces on him and they’re all deep enough that there could be anything in there. The man could suddenly invert things and she’d find herself fighting someone in full power armour.
“Ah, good you’re paying proper attention. So as we wait for...” He begins before turning to the upcoming waitress. “I’d like the menus now please, and some more hot water and another mug if you’d be so kind. I’d like to share what I’m drinking with my friend here.”
“Oh! Of course... uhm... is your friend...”
“She’s here for a business proposition. One I think she’ll like. Thank you.” He says throwing the waitress a wink and she blushes brightly before rushing off. He then takes a sip of his drink and regards Shelly again. “Would it make you feel more comfortable if I were to hand one of my weapons over? I assure you it will work for you as well as me, it’s not bio-coded like The Imperial Army Munitions.”
“How do you know that?” She asks and then frowns a little as he clearly scans the area, and then turns on a signal jammer while he leans forward.
“Because I mean to take this world from The Empire. Permanently.” He states softly and her eyes widen in shock. He then leans back and deactivates the jammer.
“Who are you?”
“Me? I’m your new best friend madam patriot. You want the best for your beloved homeworld? That’s me. I mean to take it.”
“How?”
“With ease. However, the how’s and why’s of my conquest are not of concern to you. Nonono, the concern to you my dear is what happens after.” He says.
“What comes after?” She asks as the Waitress returns with the menus and gets a dazzling smile from the very handsome but clearly very dangerous man. The girl outright skips back to get the hot water and mug.
“Defending, rebuilding, growing. I need people who love Lavaron down to the depths of their being and those with the knowledge and skill to support it by my side. Those that merely have knowledge and skill are easy to sway with a properly padded paycheck, but a patriot? Someone motivated by love? Well, that’s a bit more tricky, but equally as important. If not more so.”
“Is it? I was told that I was an archaic fool pining for a yesteryear that never happened.”
“Without bonds to hold a community together it shatters, those that told that to you did so with only ill intent of that I can assure you. Why, as an avowed patriot myself, I dare say I find the company of other such patriotic souls a comfort.”
“And what are you patriotic to?” She asks before the Waitress comes back and promises to come back in a few minutes. She’s sent away with a goofy smile as the man offers an early tip for such prompt and exceptional service. “Why are you buttering her up like that?”
“She’s going to remember nothing about today but that it was the day a very handsome man made her feel like a queen and paid her like one. She won’t remember you beyond the most vague details when pressed.” He promises her and her eyes shoot back and forth as she puts it together. This man IS a spy of some kind. He IS up to something and he’s playing the people around him like puppets to dance exactly how he wants them to and to see what he wants them to see and nothing else.
“And why is this so important?”
“When planning sedition some privacy is needed.”
“Out in the open? Like this?!”
“Yes.” He says. “Everyone is so busy with their lives that they won’t do more than ogle me for a moment and then move on. However your apartment is bugged and while I could do something about that, I doubt you want me to go through your personal effects and ripping out the walls to get them all.”
“Okay, that’s my limit. What do you want from me.”
“I’m going to wipe out the Vatras and when I’m done.”
“That’s the sort of thing you say when the signal jammer is ON.” She snaps at him.
“Only if the jammer doesn’t work by sending out a very, very aggressive worm program to strategically erase my voice from any recording.”
“And if they get around it?”
“I like excitement.” He says with a smirk and a sip of his drink.
“And why do you want me? I was a middling officer at best at the very height of my career. My troops were only a few steps away from being ceremonial, and would have been if we had the budget for it.”
“True. However you and your troops had a very important trait in common. Patriotism.” He says before turning and smiling at the waitress. “Hello again dear woman, that’s a lovely trick you’ve done with your hair.”
“Oh is it? I couldn’t... I mean... uh... order. Your order please!”
“Certainly, my friend and I both think the Galri Salad looks exceptional.” He says and she nods before taking both menus and leaving with a spring in her step. “It takes so little to make a public place outright private.”
He pulls out a small case and rather it being a weapon or anything, it’s filled with a series of small perforated cloth bags. He tosses one into the mug that had been brought for Shelly and then pours the hot water that had arrived onto it.
“What’s that?”
“What drew me to your world, so you best be grateful for it.”
“Grateful? I don’t even understand who or what you are. Or what this is.”
“Tea. One of your local plants is an evolutionary sibling to something found on my homeworld. Something so valuable that empires, fortunes and lives have been lost in it’s pursuit. In ancient times it was the drink of rebels and plotters, in more classical times it was the drink of the well heeled and dignified. Now it is the drink of nations, a uniting force across disparate languages, peoples and creeds.”
“Well, I suppose with a history like that I can hardly refuse.” Shelly says before a hint of paranoia has her swap mugs with him.
“Oh, fresher tea! Delightful.” The man says taking a sip. “That wouldn’t work either way. I’m human. You’ll have to look very hard for something that’s awful enough to make me die from it.”
With a sigh she trades the mugs back. It was a pointless gesture then. But it does raise another question. As if she didn’t have an entire legion of them. He grip on the mug tightens in frustration and she looks him plain in the face.
“Just spill it. What do you want?” She demands and he holds up a finger before The Waitress arrives with their salads. She delivers with a little spin and he offers light applause before giving her another bit of a pre-tip and she skips away.
“I want you to reactivate your soldiers. I want you to re-vet them to ensure they’re still patriots. I’ll supply you with weapons, equipment and a safe place to muster. I’m taking this world, but to hold it I need people willing to fight and kill for it. I want Lavaron to be the next part of the British Empire and like all our colonies, former and current, I want it to thrive. I want it strong, I want it wealthy. I want it to be a crowning jewel that shines brighter than it’s star.” He explains before pointing up towards the noonday sun.
She just stares at him. He smirks and then picks up his utensils to start eating. After a few moments he gives her an odd look. “I didn’t buy that salad for the looks Shelly, eat.”
“... Are you insane?” She asks him.
“No, I’m very good. But as I get some things moving, I need to start others.”
“And I’m part of your master plan?”
“Your name is pencilled in, your attributes are inked in.”
“Pardon?”
“Oh dear, excuse me. Pencils are a writing implement and Ink is as well. Pencil markings can be erased, Ink cannot. So, while you yourself are not my only option, I’m only choosing from people with a deep love of this world and a desire to protect it.” He says. “So if you don’t feel like your up for helping your world become everything you dreamed of and shaping history...”
“Stop the sale.” She says and he quiets down. She points at him. “You, a man. A single man. A foreigner, a stranger, an alien who has likely been on this world for less time than I’ve been between jobs. You think you can just come here and make everything better? What kind of hubris do you have to think that all our issues are easily solved? Do you have any ideas how powerful the Vatras are? Do you have any idea what The Empire’s stance on them are?”
“Each Vatras has an army that has at minimum a million people strong. They command trillions in credits worth of resources casually and each has a long history of slamming down on rebellion and uprisings with enough force that several lakes on Lavaron are in fact the filled in craters where there used to be towns. And with all that power, The Empire thinks of them as an amusing annoyance and their policy is that they can have their fun, but if they try to spread their silliness then they’ll be broken all the way down to the atomic level under laser barrage.” He explains and she nods. “I’ve already started to work onto all four of them. The fun thing about strong, paranoid opponents, is that they’re easily pointed to each other.”
“... what?”
“Shelly. I’m not asking for blind faith. I’m not asking you to throw your life away.” He says before pulling out a piece of paper and pen before writing down an address and a time. “All I’m asking is a second little date for you to see exactly what I’m going to do for you and Lavaron.”
“I see.” She says and considers for a few moments. Someone like this was dangerous. Very, very dangerous. If they can’t live up to their boasting then they’ll kick the Vatras into a frenzy. If they DO succeed then the rest of The Gavali Empire will slam down.
“I see, and what happens if I don’t like what I see?”
“No one will believe you, and by the time anyone does everything you know will either be out of date or painfully obvious. So I’m not concerned.” He says and she just narrows her eyes at him.
“You’re awfully certain of that.”
“I am completely certain, but if you feel the need to push against it, by all means do so. But please understand that an opportunity like this is once in a lifetime. Do you want to heal Lavaron?”
“Of course I do, but I question whether a single man is capable of such.” She replies and he nods.
“Well, you have the time and place. If you want more of a show, arrive early.” He offers. “Still, I think we’ve gotten as far as we can today. You know where to be if you want some evidence. Otherwise... well you can go back to a fruitless job search.”
She takes the paper from him and frowns. It’s dated for tomorrow evening.
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
She arrives two hours early. Not like she has anything to do. And it’s not like she won’t be aware of anyone accepting her applications if she gets an answer.
In the distance she can see a great deal of commotion kicking off. Security forces are being suddenly hit by a building they were checking before an army gets involved. Then another branch of it comes in and before anything can happen one of the vehicles veers away from the rest and then seems to fade away from sight.
At a distance that cloaking is exceptional, but up close it’s clear that there’s something approaching. Something that lands next to her and a door opens in the clearly distorted air. “Come in please.”
She enters and finds several tied up and unconscious Blythe troopers and Wettsworth in the pilot’s seat.
“These ships don’t have a cloaking function.”
“No, but the trinity of drones I stuck to each side do. Now you’re a little too early and things aren’t quite finished, but if you’d be so kind as to strap yourself in as the show kicks off.”
“What are you doing?!”
“Why fight four big enemies, when they can fight each other to your benefit?” He asks simply. “By the by, you never told me what you thought of the tea.”
“Needed some sweetener.”
“Jam and cream perhaps?” He offers.
“Maybe. So... what do you want to show me?”
“Beyond the battered and beaten forces of the Vatras? I’ve stolen enough older munitions to arm your unit thrice over. With this safe haven being compromised it’s being abandoned. And they’re going to grab all the wrong things in their abandonment.”
“What’s the thing they should grab?”
“The map and keycards to the nearby old military bases. They’re collecting dust and little else in there. And while the equipment in there is not to Imperial Standard, Imperial Standard is is merely a mild weight upgrade and biocoding. There’s enough in there to give a serious fight to any of the four Vatras, let alone the winner after they’ve had a free for all.”
“And what do we do about the defence stations that can turn their cannons onto the world and slaughter the people!?”
“I am going to handle that.”
“How?”
“Subversion, destruction and outright theft.”
“How do you steal an entire space station?”
“Do you want a breakdown of my intended operation, or do you want the punchy retort?”
“The real answer.”
“So are you in?”
“...”
“The plan is need to know, and you only need to know if...” He begins before one of the ships finally opens fire and things above them descend into a quick flurry of violence before they break off. “Almost, they’re still too aware of the The Empire nearby and not quite angry enough at each other yet. Still, this is a good step forward.”
She considers for only a second more. He just got the Vatras to fight each other and is blatantly stealing from them. If she reports him and somehow gets him arrested she’ll maybe get a pat on the head and a job offer. But if he is serious... if he can keep this up... “Fine I’m in, if only to curtail the damage as best I can. How are you taking over an entire space station?”
She’s learning to fear that smirk.
~First~ Last

I have a bunch of Marvel single issues I'm looking to prune from my collection -- perfect for filling in gaps in your own collections! These are books I either picked up multiple copies of (often by accident) or picked up with some collecting intent I'm no longer pursuing. These are in various shape. Definitely all readers -- some look great, some are a bit worn out.
Pictures here: https://imgur.com/a/X2YJOO7 . Happy to share more pictures upon request.
I included preferred prices based of completed sales on a website I can't name in my post, but I'm totally willing to hear offers.
I have gemini flash mailers and comic boxes for shipping, so I can ship 1-12 issues easily (mailer), or up to 35 issues easily (comic box). Hopefully no one asks for all 62 at once -- I might need to send them in two separate boxes!
Shipping between 1 - 12 books will cost between $5.60 and $6.50, and shipping between 13 - 35 books will cost between $10.42 and $16.43 (according to my estimates on Pirate Ship). I'll check the specific shipping price for you at time of sale. (I'm open to do local swapping in NYC, depending on location and timing.)
In addition to PayPal, I'm also willing to accept trades for some TPBs: Dardedevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, Chip Zdarsky's Spectacular Spider-Man volumes 1-4, or Superman Smashes the Klan. We can work out which/how many issues are worth trades for any of these in the comments.
Issues for sale/trade:
Captain America
Captain America Vol 1 #301 - $2
Captain America Vol 1 #302- $2
Captain America Vol 1 #303 - $2
Daredevil
Daredevil Vol 1 #214 - $2
Daredevil Vol 1 #296 - $2
Daredevil Vol 1 #322 - $1
Daredevil Annual Vol 1 #4B - $4
Doctor Strange
Marvel Comics Presents Vol 1 #146 - $3
Doctor Strange Vol 4 #1 (Kirby Monster variant) - $2
Doctor Strange Vol 4 #9 - $2
Doctor Strange Annual Vol 2 #1 - $2
Strange Vol 3 #8 - $1
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four Vol 1 #273 - $2
Fantastic Four Vol 1 #276 - $2
Fantastic Four Vol 1 #284 - $2
Fantastic Four Vol 1 #566 - $1
Ultimate Fantastic Four Vol 1 #24 - $1
Hulk
Incredible Hulk Vol 1 #303 - $2
Incredible Hulk Vol 1 #304 - $2
Incredible Hulk Vol 1 #305 - $1
Incredible Hulk Vol 1 #314 - $1
Incredible Hulk Vol 1 #320 - $2
Iron Man
Iron Man Vol 1 #176 - $2
Iron Man Vol 1 #183 - $2
Iron Man Vol 1 #184 - $2
Iron Man Vol 1 #185 - $2
Iron Man Vol 1 #195 - $2
Iron Man Vol 1 #267 - $1
Iron Man Vol 1 #268 - $1
Iron Man Vol 4 #4 - $1
Marvel Triple Action
Marvel Triple Action Vol 1 #27 - $2
Power Man and Iron Fist
Power Man and Iron Fist Vol 1 #125 - $1
Quasar
Quasar Vol 1 #3 - $1
Quasar Vol 1 #5 - $1
Quasar Vol 1 #7 - $1
Quasar Vol 1 #49 - $1
Spider-Man
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 #48 - $1
Marvel Tales Vol 1 #77 - $1
Questprobe Vol 1 #2 - $2
Spectacular Spider-Man #196 - $2
Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 #94 - $1
Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 #127 - $1
The Thing
The Thing Vol 1 #19 - $1
The Thing Vol 1 #20 - $1
The Thing Vol 1 #22 - $1
Thor
Thor Vol 1 #253 - $1
Thor Vol 1 #254 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #257 - $1
Thor Vol 1 #258 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #260 - $1
Thor Vol 1 #345 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #351 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #352 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #353 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #363 - $2
Thor Vol 1 #377 - $1
Thor Vol 1 #381 - $1
Thor Vol 2 #85 - $1
Thor Vol 6 #24 - $2
Thor: Where Frost Giants Walk Vol 1 #1 - $2
Wonder Man
Wonder Man Vol 2 #18 - $1
Wonder Man Vol 2 #27 - $1
Wonder Man Vol 2 #28 - $1
Disclosure: this is my first time using comicswap so please bear with me if we try to make a swap!

Ten minutes into graduation, my friends were already dead.
Ten elephants.
I was soaking wet, my dress glued to me.
Nine elephants.
Forcing myself into a run, I tripped over my heels.
Eight elephants.
Fuck.
Seven elephants.
There was no point in counting, but counting felt normal.
Six elephants.
Counting felt like I was going to escape.
Five elephants.
Survive.
Noah’s blood painted my face.
He still felt alive, warm, swimming in my vision. I could still see cruel silver being plunged into his chest, rivulets of red pooling down his lips and chin.
Four elephants.
Noah told me to run, so here I was…
Three elephants.
Running.
Forcing myself to breathe, I swiped blood from my eyes.
Two elephants.
Twisting around, I scanned the empty school hallway for movement.
One elephant.
Annalise’s brains dripped down my face.
I was picking pieces of her skull from my hair, tiny pearly splinters stuck to me.
Annalise was sucked down the pool drain, her body mincemeat on my dress.
Her grisly remains were floating on the surface, painting illuminated water in a striking, almost breathtaking red.
Noah was sliced apart right in front of me.
They were dead.
Slamming my fists into each classroom, my shriek caught between my teeth.
Help me.
The lights were off, which meant she was close.
Reaching the end of the hallway, I could hear laughter and familiar whoops coming from the auditorium.
The class of 2015 were graduating and I was going to fucking die.
The main entrance was locked, barricaded from the outside.
Taking two steps back, I slipped out of my heels, kicking them off.
The classroom at the end of the hall was open, spilling warm light that coaxed me forward, hypnotised by the illusion of safety. With no choice, I staggered toward it and pushed the door open.
Stepping directly into warm entrails squelching between my bare toes, I had to bite back a cry. Mari hung upside down above me, her body swaying back and forth, strung up like meat to the slaughter. The girl had been gutted straight through her designer Diana mini, her glistening remains sparkling under unearthly light. Mari’s eyes were still open, lips parted as if to warn me.
For a dizzying moment, I was paralysed.
A door banged shut, running footsteps, heavy panting breaths.
“Fuck!” a familiar accent cried out.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
I could hear him slamming his hands into classroom doors.
“I need… I need help!”
The voice should have been comforting, but I was already seeing an opportunity to hide myself.
Swallowing barf, I leapt over glistening red entrails and dropped onto my hands and knees, crawling under a desk, gagging my own panting breaths.
The door swung open, and I buried my head in my arms, risking a peek.
Isaac Redfield stumbled through the door, immediately falling to his knees, his head buried between his legs.
He was sobbing, choking on breaths suffocating him. Issac looked helpless, hopeless, before his gaze caught mine.
I thought Isaac was dead.
The last time I saw him, he was being violently dragged into the janitor's closet. I could see where he'd narrowly missed being butchered, a gaping hole ripped straight through his suit jacket.
He was covered in the remnants of Noah, grisly scarlet turning him into more of a canvas than human, thick brown hair hanging in wide, almost unseeing eyes barely penetrating mine.
Isaac pressed a finger to his lips, his voice bleeding into a shaky breath.
”Don't… say… a… fucking word”.
The door opened, two familiar boots stomping through.
Issac twisted around, forcing himself to unsteady feet.
I could only see her slick black shoes.
The woman pivoted on her heel and started towards Isaac.
“Ahh, fuck,” his hiss broke out into a sob.
I watched him do a little dance backward in an attempt to distance himself. But he was just backing into a corner, staggering over himself.
His hand shot out, blindly grasping for a weapon, a chair leg, but her boots continued, stomping towards him.
Isaac tried to throw himself past her, but she was so fast, reaching out and grabbing the boy by his neck, her fingers pulverising. His arms flew up to peel her hands from his throat, but she was choking him. When Issac’s arms went limp, she slammed him into the window, and my body coaxed me to move, to run. Isaac was half conscious, spluttering blood, his head hanging.
Run.
But I couldn't.
I watched, my hand suffocating my screams, as she lifted him into the air, his feet dangling, his breaths coming out in choking pants. I saw the silver glint of her knife, and then the streak of scarlet painting the wall behind him.
I heard the exact moment the blade went in.
Isaac’s panting breaths became wet gurgles, his dangling legs going limp.
The slow stemming puddle of red accumulating across marble snapped something in my mind. I forgot how to run, to move my legs, to even breathe.
When Isaac’s body hit the ground with a meaty smack, I shuffled back, but the scarlet pool followed me running wet and warm under my fingers. I could see where his throat had been slashed open.
Isaac’s head was turned at an angle, his dead eyes staring directly at me.
I was trying to feel for a pulse when the desk I was hiding under was kicked aside. There she was when I dared lift my head. The woman in the black suit.
She resembled a shadow with a human face, dark blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, brandishing a pinstripe suit.
I watched her brutally murder my friends, one by one, no mercy, no I'm sorry, or even an explanation.
She butchered Annalise in the swimming pool, gutting Noah and Mari, and now Isaac.
Her expression was vacant. There was no motivation behind her killing them.
If there was, she would have worn the face of a psychotic serial killer, thirsty to spill blood.
She would have laughed as they ran, revelled in their fear and the startling inevitably of their own demise.
But she didn't.
Instead, the woman in the black suit stalked after them. She never stopped, never faltered, until they were all dead.
Until their breaths were thinning, their blood staining her hands.
The woman did not smile when she wrapped her hands around the curve of my neck and slammed me against the wall.
I saw stars going supernova, trying to suck in oxygen, her relentless grip tightening.
Black spots speckled my vision, and I was half aware of the ice-cold prick of silver sinking into my flesh. She was slow. Slow enough for me to count each of my lingering breaths, watching my own blood soak the front of my dress.
When she dropped me, I landed on my stomach. But there was no pain.
It felt like dreaming, choking on words that wouldn't come out.
Weird, I thought, my eyes flickering.
I counted ceiling tiles, dizzily, a slow spreading darkness pricking at the corners of my vision.
Last time, Isaac died first in the swimming pool.
Noah managed to stab the bitch in the back, only for her to chase him to the main entrance, gutting him on the spot.
The woman in the black suit loomed over me, while I focused on breathing.
Only for her to deliver one last fuck you blow to my head.
My vision contorted, and I sunk into the ground.
Straight into oblivion.
That spat me back out.
“Bonnie!”
I was numb to my mother’s voice.
I used to wake up screaming, my hands around my throat clawing for wounds that were no longer there.
Now I was somewhere between acceptance and losing my fucking mind.
For a while, I didn't move, lying on my back and considering suicide.
I never had the guts to actually go through with it though.
Being murdered is one thing, but actually doing it yourself is another.
“Bonnie!” Mom’s voice was louder, and I mocked her words.
“Get up! Sweetie, I made your favorite! Chocolate chip pancakes!”
I paused, counting elephants.
I had mastered the ability to perfectly mimic her tone.
“And don't forget to thank Mrs Benson for that beautiful dress! You know she really wants you to attend graduation!”
Mom was right. I couldn't afford a decent dress, so my teacher offered.
But after being hacked apart, drowned, bisected, choked, and having my throat slit in different variations, I can't say I was thrilled to wear it. The dress was ruined every time, reduced to tatters clinging to me.
Rolling over in bed, I pulled my phone from my nightstand.
Always the exact same notification illuminating my home screen.
GRADUATION DAY!! :)”
I fucking hated that notification.
Unknown number flashed up on screen.
“Hello?” I mumbled.
“How'd you die this time?”
Isaac Redfield's voice was muffled slightly. I think he was brushing his teeth.
“My throat was slit,” I said. “You?”
“You should know,” I heard him spit. “I mean, you did watch me fucking die.”
“That wasn't my choice.”
He spat again. “Does the woman in the black suit seem….familiar to you?”
I wasn't sure if he was screwing with me.
“Yes.” I said, dryly.
“No, not like that,” Isaac groaned. “I mean, don't you, like, recognise her? I swear I've seen this woman before.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I revelled in the slow passage of time.
7am to 8am was my favourite part of the day. I used to freak out, trying to leave town and find the best hiding place. Now, I just lay down and vibed.
There was something both terrifying and yet weirdly peaceful about knowing whatever happened, I was going to die.
“Dude, I've definitely seen her.”
I rolled onto my face. “Is that before she started brutally killing you in a never ending groundhog day, or after?”
Isaac paused, and I buried my head into my pillow. “Um, both?”
“Both?”
He was either going crazy or onto something.
I wasn't counting on the latter.
Isssc’s deaths were the most brutal. I wouldn't be surprised if the trauma had knocked something loose in his brain.
“Yeah.” his laugh was nervous, more of a splutter. Throughout our situationship, I had come to know his laughs well.
I knew his fake laugh, his trying not to cry laugh, his trying not to laugh laugh. I even knew his I’m losing my fucking mind, I'm going to die laugh.
But I didn't know his real laugh.
“Does that sound crazy, or…?”
Instead of answering him, I ended the call.
At breakfast, I could still taste my own blood.
Mom hovered over me, blonde streaks of hair hanging in her face.
Dressed in her fluffy pink bathrobe, my mother should have been a comfort.
However, I was yet to forget the seventh loop when I broke apart and told her about what was happening.
Mom immediately called the doctor, convinced I was having a psychotic break.
He said there was nothing wrong with me and let me go to school.
Where I was murdered.
Again.
That time, she didn't kill us individually, instead forcing us on to our knees and bleeding us out, one by one. I think I became desensitised to death, to everything, when I was forced to watch Mari choke on her own screams, her head forced forwards, a blade brutally protruding through her.
*Don't forget to thank Mrs Benson for the dress, honey,” Mom said, refilling my juice.
I nodded, struggling to swallow pancake mush.
A sudden knock on the door woke me up.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
For a moment, I was frozen, my hands squeezing around my glass, before a familiar head of brown curls appeared.
Isaac Redfield, barely awake, still in his pyjamas.
Following suit, Mari Cliffe and Annalise Chatham.
Isaac went directly into the refrigerator hunting for food. Annalise took an uncertain seat at the table, and Mari stood with her arms folded, her wide, frenzied eyes drinking in my kitchen.
Isaac Redfield was the British exchange student who nobody could understand at first, his accent rocketing him up the high school hierarchy. The guy was also known for dealing candy, and getting into unnecessary arguments with teachers. Alongside Isaac, Mari Cliffe, captain of the girl’s soccer team, and Annalise Chatham, our school’s version of horse girl, were unlikely friends.
They used to be strangers, kids I’d pass in the hallway.
After being brutally killed together in a never ending graduation day cycle, we had become surprisingly close.
When we were hiding in the janitor's closet, Isaac spilled to us that he hated the idea of college.
He wanted to travel the world.
Mari was crushing on one of her teammates.
Annalise actually hated horses.
Isaac was secretly scared of Bill Nye.
I had a thing for clowns I wasn't going to go into.
It started as a confessions thing, four strangers pouring our hearts out to each other.
We shared theories.
Isssc was convinced we were actually dead, and this was hell.
Mari suggested we were in some kind of prank show.
I voiced my theory, which was, yeah, we were dead. I was sure we had died on graduation day, and this was fate’s way of giving us companions in the great beyond. Still though, I wasn't sure why fate wanted us to be brutally killed.
Then, there was the mystery of our killer.
The woman in the black suit, our own personal angel of death.
“Morning,” Isaac greeted me with a sleepy smile, running his hands through his hair. He ignored my Mom’s wide eyes. “Thanks for leaving me to die.”
I thought back to him crouched in front of me, his face splattered in Noah, index pressed to his lips. Don't move.
“You told me not to move.” I said through a mouthful of pancakes.
Issac’s lips curled. “Yeah, because I was expecting you to move your ass.”
The boy helped himself to my pancakes, shovelling them down with maple syrup.
I wasn't used to the others actually coming to my house. That never happened. We either met up at school, or were killed before we even saw each other. I knew Isaac was secretly pissed.
It wasn't the first time I had thrown him under the bus. Still, I was yet to forget him ‘accidentally’ drowning me nine graduation days ago.
He said it was an accident, but I definitely felt him shove my head under the water so he could make a run for it.
“There wasn't enough room under the desk,” I told him pointedly, gesturing to my mother, who I think was still trying to register three strangers walking into her kitchen unannounced. Mom had been vocal about me finding friends since freshman year, but I don't think she was expecting these friends.
Mari was well known around town, our girl’s soccer team dominating the local gazette.
Annalise’s father was the principal of our school. She was also the 2014 pageant winner.
Isaac was more infamous, especially for his ‘candy’.
“What?” Isaac shrugged, shooting my Mom a grin. “It's not like she's going to remember me, anyway.” he offered her a two fingered salute, “Sup, Mrs Haverford.”
To prove his point, Isaac straightened up, grabbed my phone, and threw it in the microwave.
Mari chucked a banana at his head.
“We get it.” she said with an eye roll.
“You don't need to resort to blowing things up every single time.”
Isaac responded with stubborn British noises, but she was right.
On our third graduation day, Isaac thought we could kill the woman in the black suit by blowing her up with science equipment.
Instead, he blew himself up, leaving the rest of us to her mercy.
Mom seemed to snap out of it, her smile broadening.
“Oh! You didn't tell me you were bringing friends over!” Mom immediately entered mother mode.
“Do you kids want breakfast?” she asked them, her voice high, almost shrill.
Narrowly avoiding my mother pulling out baby pictures, I coaxed her out of the kitchen. The last thing she said, before I shut the door on her face, was, “Don't forget to thank Mrs Benson for the–”
When we were alone, Mari took centre stage, hoisting herself onto the counter.
The girl was a natural leader, so of course she was our spokesperson.
Mari absently ran her hands through strawberry blonde hair.
“We tried your idea,” she nodded to a sick looking Annalise. “We tried running, and that crazy bitch still got us.”
Annalise wrapped her arms around herself, avoiding Mari’s gaze. “It was a suggestion. I didn't think she was that fast.”
“I still think she's a sleeper agent,” Isaac muttered into his glass of juice.
Mari raised a brow. “Okay, but why would a sleeper agent go after five random high school students?”
He shrugged, his lips curving into a smile.
“Maybe it was an order.”
He dragged out the latter word, so it sounded more like, “Ordahhhhhhhh.”
“But who made the order?” Annalise spoke up.
I nodded. “The government, or the shadow government don't go after high school kids.”
Isaac leaned forward, comfortably resting his chin on his fist. “Soo, what do we do now? If we can't beat whatever this thing is, what do we do?”
Die.
That is what we did.
For ten consecutive graduation days.
I woke up. I ate breakfast (pancakes and orange juice), I went to school, and I was murdered.
I was hacked apart, burned alive, drowned, impaled, and beheaded.
And nothing worked.
Our plans to run failed.
We tried to get to the roof, but she was always there waiting for us.
The latest loop, I was actually hopeful.
Isssc’s plan to lure her to the downstairs gym was going well, and it was the first time I'd survived past 3pm.
It was an adrenaline rush. 3pm had never looked so fucking beautiful.
The plan was simple.
Annalise, Mari and me standing in plain sight the whole time, and Isaac luring our killer to the downstairs gym.
When I got the confirmation text that Issac had trapped the woman in the closet, the three of us continued our plan, which was to set off the fire alarm, and alert the police of the intruder.
Informing the police was impossible initially, because she was always one thousand steps ahead of the five of us.
But Isaac had captured her.
We were in the clear.
That's what I thought.
When we pushed through the doors into the gym, however, Isaac’s cry froze me in place.
“It's a–”
His voice collapsed into panicked muffle screaming.
I took two steps, before I saw his figure running towards me.
Behind him, the woman in the black suit.
Another stumbled step, and he was being dragged back, a hand over his mouth. I didn't think our killer had enough intelligence to turn our own plan back on us, transforming Isaac into a lure for us.
I could see the apology in his frenzied eyes before she sliced her knife through his skull. I didn't even get a chance to mourn him. Isssc flopped onto the ground, rivulets of red pooling down his face. For a second, I was transfixed, hypnotised, by what she had done to him. The back of his head spewed blood like a geyser, a gaping hole splitting the back of his skull open.
I couldn't move, already wanting to surrender.
I shuffled back on my hands, already screaming, wailing like an animal.
10.
I counted elephants, just like my mother told me.
9.
My gaze was glued to Isaac, whose body was still twitching.
8.
His glassy eyes, scarlet trails running down his face.
7.
The woman was fast, waiting for me to try and run.
6.
5
4.

I was on my knees, and the door was so far away.

“Just breathe, honey.” Mom used to tell me.
“Keep counting elephants.”
Mari’s scream rattled in my ears.
I remember ice cold arms wrapping around my waist, the sensation of something sharp. I didn't feel the pain, only wet warmth running down my face. It felt like rain. Annalise’s crying was enough of an anchor, but my vision was already going foggy. I wasn't sure where the fatal wound was, though I guessed it was my head, just like Isaac.
The woman in the black suit floated in front of me like a spectre.
Once again, her fingers wrapped around my neck, swinging me like a toy.
“Bonnie!”
I was aware of Mari’s thundering footsteps coming toward me.
Suddenly, pain.
Pain like I had never felt, pain that puppeteered my body, wrenching my head back, my lips forming an O.
Part of me could still feel it, the blade digging deep into my skull.
She twisted it, and I screeched, my mouth full of pancake mush.
Again, this time clockwise, and I felt my body go numb, my head hanging.
I could hear the sound of my skull splintering apart.
The woman in the black suit didn't just want to kill us.
She wanted to make us fucking suffer.
Reality contorted, and I was back in bed at home, screeching into my pillows before my body could hit the gym floor.
I think that was when I started to lose my mind.
I began to distance myself from the others, like we were strangers again.
The woman in the black suit hunted me down to the girls bathroom where I was hiding, drowning me in the toilet bowl.
Then, she came straight into my house when I refused to go to school, suffocating me with my stuffed rabbit.
Luckily, Isaac and Mari forced their way in.
Isaac was stabbed in the stomach, and Mari, impaled by a fucking hairbrush.
I had no idea you could be impaled by a hairbrush.
Isaac’s lifeless body dropped onto mine.
His expression almost made me laugh, like he was mid eyeroll.
Hysteria crept up my throat, days, months, years, centuries, of the same fucking day finally catching up to me.
I was shrieking with laughter when I was bludgeoned straight through the mouth.
“Bonnie!”
7am.
This time, I rolled onto my side, spewing up the taste of blood.
"Get up! I made your favorite! Chocolate chip pancakes… “
Mom’s voice felt and sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
Swiping stale barf from my chin, I took one look at my graduation dress and burst out laughing. Then I tore the thing to shreds, stuffing the tattered remains in my bedroom drawer.
Mom appeared when she wasn't supposed to, hovering in my doorway.
In her hands was a laundry basket, but looking inside, it was filled with flour and eggs.
Mom’s smile was wide. I wondered if she was having a mental breakdown.
“Bonnie, did you remember to say thank you to Mrs Benson–”
I cut her off, swallowing a shriek. “For the dress,” I said. “Yep. I’m going to.”
That day, I stepped into school wearing a curtain and crocks.
“That's not a good idea,” Isaac stood behind me, wearing his usual tux.
His smile was weak. I think he'd stopped with the fake optimism.
Now, I was seeing the real him.
Real Isaac was kind of an asshole, but real subtle about it.
“Do you really want to die wearing a curtain? How are you going to run?”
I glimpsed a knife stuck in his belt. “Are you planning on being the hero?”
“Nope.” he shot me a sickly smile. “It's to defend myself.”
Four hours later, the two of us were sprinting down the hallway.
I wielded Isaac’s knife, Isaac stumbling with a head injury I didn't dare look at.
Issac narrowly missed drowning, managing to claw his way out of the pool. I didn't see him hit his head on the side when our killer threw herself on top of him, but I did hear the sickening crack of his face hitting stone tiles, all of the breath being violently knocked from his lungs in a strangled, “Oomph!”
She tried to drag him into the water, only for him to kick her in the face.
Mari was dead, half of her torso in the swimming pool.
Annalise was hiding, but I didn't have hope for her.
“You said we might be able to drown her!” Isaac, soaking wet and pissed, tried each classroom door, with all of them being locked as usual. He twisted around to me, his lips set in a silent cry.
His head was bleeding, bad, a scary looking gash in his forehead.
I was watching a single thick rivulet running down his face when he shoved me.
“Why did you push me into the pool?”
It was payback.
For him drowning me 176 Graduation days earlier.
“You falling into the pool was a distraction.” was all I could choke out.
He didn't believe me. I could tell by his eyes, twitching lips trying not to smile.
“You have a really bad head injury,” I whispered, tugging him into a power walk.
I realized the guy had some serious confusion when Issac laughed.
“I know,” he slurred, “I feel kinda…dizzy.”
I thought he was going to burst out laughing again, when familiar stomping boots brought us both to a sobering halt.
Issac slammed his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening. He slowly moved the two of us back, his clammy fingers entangling with mine. “Fuck,” he muffle whispered. “Did she hear us?”
When the booted footsteps got louder, we had our answer.
Pushing Isaac into the next open classroom, I catapulted myself into a sprint, cold hands suddenly gripping my shoulders and tugging me backwards.
“Shhh. It's me.”
Noah Locke.
He distanced himself after being sliced apart right in front of us. Noah was the quiet kid, a short and stocky boy with reddish hair and glasses. I wanted to ask where the hell he'd been, when I glimpsed the kitchen knife in his fist.
Noah’s smile was sickly. “Do you trust me?”
He pulled us into a classroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Isaac’s cries followed us, and I resisted covering my ears.
“I'm sorry,” Noah said, before slitting my throat.
This time, it was fast.
I fell.
Down.
Down.
Down.
I waited for Mom’s voice to wake me up, but when consciousness did come over me, I wasn't in bed. I had zero idea where I was, only the sensation that I was floating. Opening my eyes, I was inside a glass tank, suffocating in a thick goo-like substance, my hair spread out around me in a halo.
When I panicked, my body jerking awake, warm hands wrapped around me, pulling me out.
I hit open air, my lungs expanding, and I hacked up blood streaked water.
Noah helped me sit, the two of us leaning against my tank.
He was soaking wet, his skin glistening with that foul smelling solution.
I took a second to drink in my surroundings.
A large room filled with human-sized tanks.
Reaching to the back of my neck, I gingerly prodded at what felt like an incision. I stood up slowly, my gaze already finding the tank next to mine.
Mari.
The girl was suspended in water, her eyes closed, lips parted peacefully.
“They tried to escape a while ago,” Noah murmured, his gaze glued to another tank.
Isaac.
His cheeks were a sickly pallid colour, eyes closed. There was something attached to the back of his head.
“But they're in the school,” I managed to get out. “I was just with Isaac!”
“You were with a null version of Isaac,” Noah didn't look at me. “The one who kept leading you to your death, even if it seemed accidental. He was playing you.” he buried his head in his knees.
“The real Isaac figured this wasn't real a long time ago.”
“Real Isaac?”
“Yeah. The one you've been with is more of a copy of him,” Noah sighed, leaning his head against Mari’s tank.
He spat out slime, adjusting his glasses.
“Think of him more as a shell, empty of his mind. This Isaac follows orders like an NPC. He had the guy’s memories and traits, but he was just a program.”
Too much information at once.
“I don't understand.”
Noah tipped his back, groaning. “You don't need to.”
He got to his feet. His eyes were dark, hollowed out caverns I couldn't recognise. “I'm sorry,” Noah said again, wrapping his hands around my neck and pinning me into one of the tanks.
Just like the woman in the black suit, Noah pressed enough pressure for me to suffer.
When he slammed my head against the tank, I felt my body shut down.
I could still feel him, his fingers squeezing the life out of me.
Darkness came soon after.
Swirling oblivion that swallowed me up, and then spat me out.
This time, I spluttered awake, cuffed to a bed inside a white room.
Surrounding me were fifteen gurney like beds.
“I don't know how deep we are,” Noah’s voice startled me.
The boy stood over me, this time dressed in shorts and t-shirt.
“What?” I tried to jump up, but I was strapped down.
“Miss Benson.” his voice broke. “She didn't want us to graduate, so she put us under.” he swiped at his eyes, gulping down sobs. Noah slumped down onto my bed. “I thought I could wake us up by killing ourselves instead, but we’re stuck.” I noticed the scalpel in his hand.
“The last thing Isaac told me was that we had to get back to the surface.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “But I don't know how deep this thing goes.”
Tugging against the velcro straps pinning me down, I held my breath.
“Deep?”
“Yeah.” he spluttered. “We’re pretty far under.”
With a heavy breath, he drew the blade across his own throat with just enough precision to keep himself breathing.
Deep red spotted the blanket, and the boy broke down.
“I can't wake us up,” Isaac whispered, grabbing a pillow and pinning me to the bed. I tried to shove him off of me, but he put all of weight onto me, laughing.
“Do you hear me, Isaac?” His hysterical cry followed me into the dark.
“I can't fucking wake us up!”
Death didn't feel like death at this point.
Like drowning, and then finding the surface.
Only to be pulled back into suffocating depths.
Plunging through nothing, empty space with no bottom, no surface.
Endless nothing that expanded, continuing.
Noah’s sobs collapsed into white noise and I felt my writhing limbs go still.
Once again, I waited for my Mom’s voice.
For Graduation Day.
Instead, I awoke with a shriek, strapped to a chair, my hands bound to Noah’s.
“I'm sorry for suffocating you with a pillow.”
He didn't sound apologetic.
This time, we were inside a glass building.
Above us, the sky was pitch dark.
“Where are we?”
“I have no idea,” Noah muttered. “I've never been this far.”
My gaze followed an odd looking bird through the skylight. “Meaning?”
“Meaning, she always takes me back to the start,” he said. “Graduation Day.”
Noah got free easily, tearing himself from his restraints.
The knots around my wrists were impossible. “So, you've been here before?”
“No.” he stumbled. “Isaac has.”
The boy dropped onto his hands and knees, picking up a single shard of glass.
“Isaac said he found a room with a skylight,” Noah murmured, sliding the point between his fingers. His gaze found the ceiling. “Then he went deeper, and his consciousness never came back to us. Mrs Benson sent a mindless fucking copy in his place.”
He got to his feet, the shard clenched in his fist.
“So, if I'm right… Isaac woke up, and Mrs Benson must have restrained the real him.” Noah stepped in front of me.
“And… like Isaac, we will wake up…” His frenzied eyes found mine. “Right?”
I wasn't thrilled with the idea of dying again, but anything to wake myself up.
“Do it.”
He nodded, and I felt the prick of the blade spike my skin.
“Wait.”
Noah stepped back, cocking his head. “What?”
“Why would Mrs Benson do this?” I demanded. “She didn't want us to graduate school, so she did all of this?”
Noah shrugged, playing with the shard between his fingers. “Why else would she do this?”
He pressed the shard into my neck.
“Wait.” I hissed out.
Noah’s frown was patient. “What now?”
“What if this is the real world?” I whispered. “We’ll be killing ourselves. For real.”
Noah’s lips pricked slightly. “Does this world look real to you?”
Before I could reply, he slashed my throat open.
I waited for the reset.
For the sensation of blankets wrapped around my head, and my mother’s voice.
Instead, my body was stiff, my eyes glued shut.
“Bonnie Haverford?” the voice was a low murmur. “Honey, can you hear me?”
There was something stuck in my arm, a sharp, cruel thing pinning me down.
“I did say she was awake, but nobody believed me.”
The British accent was almost a fucking melody.
Prying my eyes open, a figure was looming over me. It was a woman with a kind face, her expression soothing.
A paramedic.
I couldn't make out what the tag on her uniform said, though.
Around me, I could see my classmates wrapped in blankets being escorted to the door. There were fifteen or so futuristic looking pods, and I was lying in one, a plastic mask suffocating my mouth. Isaac stood next to the paramedic, a wary smile on his mouth.
The guy had a scary bandage wrapped around his head.
“Bonnie, right?”
This version of him didn't remember getting to know me.
Isaac pulled me to a sitting position, ignoring the paramedic’s sharp hiss of, “Please leave her where she is!”
A man dressed in white tried to throw a blanket around him, and he shrugged it off.
“I'm fine,” Issac muttered, gingerly prodding his head wound. “I won't be if you keep asking if I'm okay. Jeez.”
Ignoring the adults, he wandered over to the pod in front of me and pulled a half conscious Noah to unsteady feet.
Noah staggered, half lidded eyes finding mine. His smile was sickly.
It worked.
The two of them hugged, Isaac burying his head in the crook of the boy’s shoulder.
I wanted to talk to Noah, but the paramedic seemed pretty insistent that I stayed still so she could check me over.
I was barely aware of my surroundings when I was crawling into the back of an ambulance.
Reality felt wrong, like I was still stuck, still reliving the same day over and over.
But my town was real.
I dazedly watched traffic flying by, the sky darkening.
Time was moving forward again.
The world resumed, and graduation day had been and gone.
14 days to be exact.
Mrs Benson had us trapped for 14 days, and yet to me, it felt like a century.
Mom was at the station, immediately pulling me into a hug.
She put me under house arrest for a week, sentencing me to my room.
According to Mom, our teacher turned herself in.
Apparently, forcing her students into a slasher movie simulator was ‘tugging at her heart’.
I spent most of the summer lying in bed watching Disney movies.
Mom made me breakfast. Eggs and soldiers, just like when I was a little kid.
I was absently dipping my toast soldiers in egg, when she dropped an envelope in front of me. “If you want to testify, sweetie,” Mom had resorted to using her baby voice again, “But remember, you don't have to. It's your choice…”
Mom’s voice faded when I picked up the envelope, opening it up.
My name was printed on the front.
EINOOB DROFREVAH.
I blinked. “They printed my name upside down.”
Mom was behind me, frying more eggs.
“Hmm?”
In the time it took for the envelope to slip from my hand, I was only aware of one thing.
The woman in the black suit was standing in the doorway, her fingers wrapped around an axe. Noah was in front of me one minute, his eyes wide, lips parted in a scream. “It's not–”
The woman was quick to grab him, one hand going over his mouth, the other pressing the blade to his adam’s apple.
Real.
In one singular jerking movement, the boy’s blood was splattering my face, clouding my vision.
The woman in the black suit did not kill me.
She picked Noah up, threw him over her shoulder, and walked away.
“Did you remember to thank me for buying your graduation dress?” Mom asked, handing me a plate of fried eggs.
Her voice, though, felt too close.
Warm breath tickling my cheeks.
“Bonnie, are you listening to me? Did you remember to thank me, sweetheart?”
Reality was far more cruel than dream.
Reality was being unable to move, unable to breathe. It was like coming up for air, but at the same time, I was drowning. The real world was so cold, and yet warm wetness dripped down my chin. I was strapped to a metal table, something plastic lodged down my throat.
Through blurry vision, I could see my body.
I could see that my hair was so much longer, almost down to my stomach.
But there was something wrong.
Prickles of ice slithered down my spine, curls of panic setting my body into fight or flight.
At first, I thought I was in the emergency room.
Except this place didn't have doors.
The walls were sickly green, a bunker transformed into a sicko’s dungeon.
My body resembled a pin cushion, or a little girl’s idea of a doll.
When my eyes found my stomach that was barely being held together by fresh stitches, my mind started to come apart.
Noah was wrong.
Everything that has happened to me, to us, was real.
Being beheaded, ripped apart, sliced into.
Mrs Benson was just good at putting us back together.
My arms were skeletal, wires protruding into my veins.
I could see where I had been cut open, my paper thin hospital gown stained scarlet.
I couldn't count elephants.
Across the room, beds lined the walls.
On them was what was left of my classmates, mangled flesh still strapped down. Some of them had been cut into, severed apart, while others were attached to tubes, wires sticking into their spine and the back of their heads.
The floor was stained, writhing body parts and slithering entrails dried into yellowing tiles.
In the corner of my eye, Mari’s head was hanging open, the pinkish grey of her brain visible through the pearly white of her skull. She was still alive, still twitching in her restraints, plastic tubes full of fluid being fed directly into her head. When a thin river of red slid down her temple, I averted my gaze.
Barf was already in my mouth, splashing into my mask.
Annalise had tubes stuck to her, one eye scooped out, her pretty face mutilated.
Issac.
He was covered with a white sheet, a startling smear of scarlet where his head was supposed to be.
I could see his wrists still strapped down.
Mrs Benson stood in my line of vision, though I did see Isaac’s fingers curl slightly.
My teacher didn't speak when I shrieked through my mask, straining against velcro straps.
Mrs Benson’s smile was the one I used to like.
She lit up our classroom, like sunshine.
“Why don't we count elephants together, hmm?”
I found myself nodding, trusting the sunshine smile.
“One.”
Mrs Benson straightened up.
“Two.”
She strode over to Noah’s bed, replacing his blood soaked pillow with a fresh one, adjusting the tube in his mouth and planting a kiss on his forehead. I could see red dots marked across his skin, circled around his eyes.
“Three.” I found myself saying with her, my thoughts dancing.
Mrs Benson turned to me, her lips breaking out into a grin.
“That's right! Count with me, Bonnie.”
I closed my eyes, swimming in the drugs filling my body.
I was being pulled back down.
Down.
Down.
Down.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine…
Sinking through the ground, colours flashed in my eyes.
“Bonnie!”
Mom’s voice startled me awake, a raw cry choking through my lips.
Graduation Day was the same.
Mom made me breakfast.
Pancakes and orange juice.
I went to school wearing my graduation dress.
Isaac walked straight past me, running to catch up with his friends.
Mari ignored my attempt to call out for her.
Annalise ducked her head, hurrying to empty out her locker.
“Hello.”
Noah was standing behind me.
I could have cried.
But when I turned to talk to him, to tell him we were still trapped, his smile was wide, eyes glassy. In his arms was our yearbook. He handed me a pen.
“Do you mind signing it?” Noah chuckled. “I've got everyone but you.”
He opened it up onto the first page.
“It's Noah, by the way!”
Behind him, I glimpsed a familiar shadow, a woman striding towards me.
The lights above flickered, and I could already taste blood in my mouth. Noah didn't even flinch when I dropped the yearbook and stumbled into a run.
His smile was vacant, empty.
Just like he said.
An NPC.
I was already running for my life, and he kept talking to thin air.
When the woman in the black suit sprinted past him, his smile broadened.
“And you are?”

I came out as transgender when I was 15 and I’ve been out for 3 years. My mom has been very supportive, and even agreed to get my name legally changed when I was 16. My dad, on the other hand, hasn’t said my name in over three years. It’s not that he deadnames me, he just doesn’t use a name for me. He refers to me only as “his child”. To get my attention he either stares at me until I notice or shakes things in front of my face to get me to look up. Needless to say, this is very dehumanizing and makes me feel horrible. My mom has always said that he isn’t transphobic and he’s “just having a hard time” with my transition. This really upsets me. My dad and I have gone to therapy together for a while, but nothing has changed. We have some other issues too, he doesn’t talk to me very often and isn’t very involved in my life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m about to go off to college and at this point I’m worried that if we don’t fix our relationship, we’re never going to talk again. I don’t even think I’d be upset if we never talked again. He drove our relationship into the ground. I want to have a relationship with him though. How should I go about fixing our relationship? What do I say/do?
TLDR: I am transgender and my dad won’t say my name. What do I say/do to make this situation better?

The strange creature draws its weapon, and every Florb in the room freezes. We've all seen just what this terrifying device is capable of firsthand when it used it to slay the Grobulan pirates who had boarded our vessel. It was a massacre, their screams still echo in my mind. I could do nought but watch in bloodied horror as their bodies simply detonated in a shower of blue fluid. And the noise... the horrible horrible noise. One would expect a weapon of such terrifying power to be matched by an equally powerful roar, but this one's report is far more fluidchilling. Almost silent, except for a high pitched whine as its motors spin to unfathomable speeds within fractions of a second- delivering its lethal payload at a fraction the speed of sound itself yet despite this, the projectile is almost entirely silent. At least until impact. Never did I think a soft 'plink' could instill such fear within me. But when it is accompanied by such death... how could it not? And the plink was only when it missed and struck a nearby object instead! I dare not describe the noise of a direct hit, suffice to say it is the stuff of nightmare.
At the least, it certainly appears fearsome. Ergonomically designed, seeming to my eyes to be tailored to the creature's unique physical composition. One end is flaired into a flat shape which it braces against what it has informed me during my earlier medical operation to be its 'shoulder'. No doubt to handle the certainly vicious recoil such a mortifying tool must produce- though it gives no physical signs of such recoil during firing, I can only assume its physical strength must be beyond measure. The main body of the weapon is as black as the void, which makes its surface difficult for my eyes to truly discern- not that I believe my mind could handle whatever arcane horrors must make up its mechanical composition. What is all too easy to see, however, is the other end of it. Bright orange, as the surface of a lower main sequence star- appropriate, given its sheer power. One could liken it to the force of a star itself, and though such a likening would yet be metaphorical I could think of a few who may yet truly believe it if they bore witness to its effect.
"Take me back. Now." The room's translator intoned with mechanical apathy. It was a rushed job, and certainly imperfect- intonations and inflections are always the most difficult thing to encode into a translator so sometimes when a new one pops up it doesn't know what to do with it and just goes flat. This is the first time it's used this particular tone, but we all knew exactly what it intended, given that it now points the weapon of our salvation against us. As the captain pleaded with it to reconsider her offer, I thought back to how this mess began...
I am aboard the FLB Bright Future. An exploratory vessel plying the deepest reaches of unexplored space on a mission to discover valid hyperlane anchor points. Ours is a most vital task, for without the anchors, travel on the scale necessary to support intragalactic infrastructure was simply impossible. And without such infrastructure, new sources of valuable chemical resources could not be tapped to support the growth of the Florbus Combine. It is a long mission, as traveling without a hyperlane is a task of many years even with the most powerful warp engine. Folding spacetime from within the bubble is a monumental and extremely energy intensive task, which is why we need the anchors. With an exorbitantly large external structure, a self-stable bubble can be formed with relative ease around other objects, and from there a smaller engine can focus instead on pushing it- though the bubble will break on its own eventually, which limits how far a given vessel can travel, and cannot be broken from within; thus necessitating a different anchor at the destination. Further still spacetime bubbles of any sort are extremely sensitive to gravitational forces, which makes sense of course as gravity is essentially a fluctuation within spacetime itself. Thus, the 'hyperlane' was born. Areas of the galaxy where such fluctuations are either weak enough to be ignored, or predictable enough to be utilized for ever faster travel.
And so, the task of exploratory vessels such as the Bright Future is twofold. To ply the depths of unexplored space, analyzing the gravitational patterns and identifying prime locations for Hyperlane anchors. Far enough away from the next nearest to be cost effective, as simply building an anchor in every single star system is out of the question, but close enough to minimize the risks of unwary vessels overestimating their distance and ending up trapped in the depths of the void. Though most vessels do have a warp engine, most commercial organizations rely upon the anchors so greatly that such engines are often only barely strong enough to guide a bubble formed by an anchor. It is rare for a non-specialized vessel to be capable of self-bubbled travel, especially since such an engine is often extremely expensive to fabricate and to power. Nearly 90% of the Bright Future's fusion drive is dedicated to the task, necessitating minimal life support functions and stasis pods when in use.
I am the lead medical officer of the FLB Bright Future, Plorp Ruffaloo. Yes, yes, hold your awe. I am well aware of the nobility of my name, but I care little for such things. I refuse to ride upon my father's coat-tentacles, which is why I volunteered for such a common position instead of seeking the employment of cutting edge research facilities. Besides, I always felt that the best research is that done outside of a stuffy and controlled laboratory. Science is exploration, of a sort, if one is not adventurous in their pursuit of it than any discovery they make is bound to be pedestrian or extraordinarily slow to achieve. Out here, I get to study the anatomies of new and exciting creatures discovered upon the worlds we encounter. The array of life is truly astonishing.
Which is why I am currently utterly flabbergasted at the sight before me. Never in my days have I encountered a creature so... perplexing. Preliminary examination reveals that it's body is, astoundingly, supported by some kind of rigid internal structure, not unlike the hollow structures inside of Freeanas, that my medical scanning equipment cannot penetrate. However, by my reckoning I would need a vessel-grade device to create rays powerful enough to examine the internal structure of these supports, it is as if the thing is made of some manner of rock or crystal! What on Florbulus could drive such an adaptation? I do understand that the gravity of the world upon which it was discovered is significantly higher than average for life bearing planets, but surely this is too much?
"What could these creatures being doing, to necessitate such internal durability..." I mused to myself. I jumped when Hark Manyfred responded, I had forgotten he was here still, "From what I saw, doc, fighting a war."
My cephalus paled. A war? So then the long-distance scanners were true? This is an intelligent species? I suppose I should have gathered from the relatively obvious artificial accoutrement it came with but, well, I was more focused on the gaping wound in one of its limbs at the time. When lieutenant Manyfred brought the creature in, it appeared to have been struck by some kind of object- a small piece of lead, which was astonishingly almost flattened. For such a material to deform so severely, whatever sent it flying must have been extraordinarily powerful. I struggled greatly to perform surgery, even the creature's flesh seems to be supernaturally durable. I had to make use of a laser cutter typically reserved for cutting through military armor just to create an opening large enough to fit extraction tools through. It took the strength of I and all three of my attending to ply the object free from its form- as it appeared to have been lodged inside one of those very dense supporting structures.
As I recalled this, it all suddenly made sense. A high gravity planet, intelligent, with extremely dense internal structures, and fighting a war. This is a soldier! Heavily augmented with some kind of organic implant. The lead must be... dear gods, a weapon? Fashioned specifically to tear through flesh with ease, if its saw-blade shape is anything to go by. Or perhaps... could the lead have deformed after impact with the structure, rather than having been shaped? If that was the case then its original shape... some kind of pointed volume? Aerodynamic... it was FIRED*? They use lead projectiles as a weapon? I must make a report of this, the captain will want to-*
*"*Ugh... my head..." IT SPEAKS? Actually, wait, that must be the translator. The ship is equipped with embedded translators in each room to save the burden of carrying a computational box on the person, though the fact that its working already must mean...
*"*Dr. Tryn? I take it you have already deciphered their language?" I call over my communication device.
"Yes, Dr. Ruffaloo," Dr. Tryn began, he is the ship's communications officer, a Freeana, and also an expert in xenolinguistics for exactly this situation- first contact, "Once we entered orbit I had discovered that the strange EM waves were, in fact, not due to the local star. But rather artificial constructions! A massive communications network scaling the entire planet, though nowhere beyond it except for what appear to be a handful of very small orbital outpo-"
"Yes, yes, Dr. Tryn. I understand you're excited. But if you truly wish to study their language more, I believe you would have better luck speaking with our guest," I know him too well, and frankly was not eager to handle initial outreach with a patient who had just awoken from such a horrendous wound. I did not need to keep my device on to know that his assistants were plugging their auditory cavities to protect themselves from his excited shrill.
In barely 2 minutes, Dr. Tryn burst through the doorway in an exhausted huff. Thankfully the patient didn't seem to take notice of where exactly it was just yet, its oculars have yet to unshield themselves. I prepared to greet my colleague but he seemed disinterested in me, as I should expect.
"Arghcke Thee Awoken?" I heard, which caused me to realize that I was actually awake and not at home in bed. Fuck. I've gotta get up, that asshole could still be- "OW!" Shit, the gunshot, I must-
Where the hell am I. I'm pretty sure I was just at an airsoft field, in the middle of a match when some psycho brought his dad's real fucking gun instead. Bastard even painted the damned thing's barrel and made sure to hide it. What the fuck was he thinking? But right now I'm looking at... a... what the hell is it? It looks like a cross between a fish and a bird. It's got feathers, and what looks like a beak. But then its shiny, and has big 'ol fish eyes and weird looking neck-gill thingies, like Abraham from Hellboy. Next to it is.. an Octopus? But its huge*, like three times the size of a person. And also wearing a doctor's outfit. What the actual-*
Ow. I'm reminded that I was just shot in the leg. Even the slightest movement hurts like hell, but when I looked down I couldn't see an entry wound. Or any blood for that matter, nor did it feel like I had shards of thigh bone stabbing me from the inside. It was just... really sore.
*"*Me Cogitates Its Wakefulness, Medical Officer Tryn," The Octopus spoke. It spoke. Holy shit these are aliens. Holy shit. Fuck. Uh, oh no? Oh yes? I don't know, actually. I mean, they don't seem like the 'take me to your leader and prepare for anal probing' type... They apparently even bothered to fix my leg and, presumably, save me from that gun toting maniac. Looking around I see they even brought my stuff with me, though it's locked up in some kind of transparent locker. Not that an airsoft M4 would be particularly useful against an advanced alien species. Their words are weird, but the fact that I can hear anything even remotely coherent means they have some kind of translation thingy going on. Though either its really bad or they do just have a strange manner of speaking. Is... no way is this actually first contact? That would explain the crappy translation, at least, it would mean they've had hardly any time at all to decipher my language. I should try...
"Uh, yes? I am awake. Uh, hi?" I make my best attempt at a greeting, but they all jump back when I raise my hand in a lazy wave. Oh yeah, first contact, shit. Can't make any sudden movements, in fact they probably- OH JESUS THAT'S A SHARK. YEP. THAT IS A GOD DAMN SHARK PERSON RIGHT THERE.
Ohkay. Ohkay. Calm down. Aliens. Yes. Just aliens, maybe its a nice shark person? Maybe he's a doctor- no. He's definitely got some kind of weapon. Vaguely gun shaped, but strangely very round like a banana. But with a lightshow on the side of it. A laser maybe? Anyways, yes, he must be the guard. Makes sense. New species, no clue what they're capable of. Far as they know I got retractable claws or acid spit or something. No sudden moves, or King Shark over there might rip me in half or... distingrate me with that fancy gun, I guess.
The bird-fish, I think the Octopus called it Medical Officer Tryn? But the Octopus is the one wearing the outfit... ohhh bad translation, right. Medical Officer is probably an attempt to translate Doctor? Which means the bird-fish is a Doctor, but not necessarily a medical one. Or maybe he is and doctor's just dress like that and the Octopus back there is a nurse or something. Anyways, the Doctor seemed to fiddle with something in the wall, and then spoke again, "There, that should be better. I always forget to account for the more common bands. Now, I would ask if you are awake again, but I think that much is obvious. Greetings! I am Doctor Ooliueaette Trynishidianafore. But my colleagues often refer to me a Dr. Tryn, I am the communications officer. This is Doctor Plorp Ruffaloo our shipboard medical professional, and the one behind you is lieutenant Hark Manyfred, the on who retrieved you from your endangered state. We are currently aboard the FLB Bright Future, which is a spacefaring exploratory vessel under the command of the Florbus Combine. I hope you do not mind, but I took the liberty of exploring the rudimentary communications systems of your world, and discovered quite the interesting stock of conceptual fictions! I've not yet poured through them all, but I believe you are well familiar with most civilized structural concepts."
The bird-fi, er, Dr. Tryn seemed... happy? I couldn't be too sure, whatever is doing the translation appears to be attempting to mimic tone and inflections but, well, I guess its still a bit too new at this. In any case, I think the doctor here is excited. Also the Shark guy is the one that saved me? Cool. Wait, he said he looked through our 'rudimentary communications systems'? Oh dear god no, he's seen the internet. This could be bad.
"Listen, uh, what you saw on the internet, just know that it alot of, uh, well not really true stuff. I mean, its not the best image of humanity-" I began, when the doctor interrupted me
"Oh! Don't worry too much! As I said I've yet to pour through most of what I recovered, and when I performed my initial sweep I had yet to fully flesh out the translations. Currently I only have saved information related to a few keywords. This isn't my first first contact, you know! I'm well aware of how.. shall we say, odd some species' public communications networks can be. To protect myself from whatever horrors may have been conjured by nascent- what did you say, humanity? I was very conservative in my retrievals. In any case, there will always be time later to do a more thorough exploration when sufficient context has been gained."
Oh thank god. I raised a hand to my chest, only to notice that it was incredibly easy. Far too easy, in fact. As if I weighed almost nothing...
Oh day! What a joyous day! First contact! It has been so many years since the last one, I had begun to lose hope that I would see another in what time I have left. I could not help but sing a joyous song on the way, though for the sake of our new guest I had to restrain myself before entering. There is no telling if they are sensitive to sound, I would not want to accidentally deafen a brand new species! I am so very pleased to know that the translation is working correctly, it won't be long before it's heard every possible phoneme and intonation. Perhaps in just a few days we'll be able to converse as if we shared the same native tongue!
Not to mention, they are remarkably calm! Normally first contact can be a rather hectic affair, filled with songs of fear or anger. But not this one! It seems I was correct in my observation that his people have long since theorized spaceflight, and even the possibility of alien species. I was afraid for a moment that the fictions I'd discovered were obscure resources known to only a few, or perhaps they are and he is one of those few. In any case, this is looking to be a very smooth first contact! Those are the best, as it gives me the greatest amount of time to converse for the sake of improving the translator and truly exploring the depths of their culture and history in the most engaging way possible: conversation!
*"*Now! What do your people call you- actually, first, do your people also utilize individual-specific names, or titles?" A beginners question, but an all-too-important one. A great deal of cultural differences can arise from something so seemingly small as the usage of names.
"Ugh, yes, we have names. Mine's Duncan. Duncan Euler, no not that- oh, you... probably wouldn't know who Euler was. Anyways, yeah. That's my name." It spoke, the words did come off a little flat in the translator but I could hear the subtle variations that the translator couldn't overwrite! Wonderful! Their species seems to make use of intonations and inflections, and the name, two names, a first and last. Just like most species, lending further creedence to Metacognitive Binomial theory. I'll have to make a note of that later, for now...
"And what is it you do, Duncan Euler? I mean to say, your profession or trade? For what societal purpose do you serve?" Another quite important question, by knowing the station of the subject we know what their perspective of their own society might be. Naturally you cannot learn all there is to know from a single individual, especially in more fracturous societies where so little as a place of birth can be the difference between ancestral hatred or familial piety.
"I believe he is a soldier, Dr. Tryn," Dr. Ruffaloo spoke up, which does annoy me somewhat. I understand his desire to hasten things stems from his people's general anxiety towards prolonged contact, but seriously! Long, drawn out conversations are the best. He should know how rude he is being!
*Duncan spoke up now, thankfully, "*Actually, no, I-"
BOOM. The entire vessel is suddenly rocked by what sounds like some kind of explosion. I and the others are tossed to a far wall with agonizing force, I feel as several of my hollow bones shatter from the impact. The pain is excrutiating. It cannot end like this! I had too much to live for! I wasn't... done... talking......
----
Fuck. That was loud, and painful. Not really in the "oh no all my bones broke" sort of way, but more like tripping on something and then faceplanting sort of way. Except I fell backwards, into the wall, and although I didn't feel anything break, that doesn't mean nothing did. At the very least I'm gonna have one hell of a bruise on my back. This, at least, confirmed my suspicions. I bounced off that wall like a superball, gravity on this ship is really weak. Walking is going to be a bitch and a half. Though given the explosion I don't think walking is going to be my main worry, what hell is happening?
"HULL BREACH DETECTED," A drone of a voice rang out, must be some kind of ship board AI? "SEALING CABINS. SEAL SUCCESSFUL. REPRESURR-" BOOM. Another explosion, but smaller this time- I was able to catch myself just fine. I look over to where the other are and- oh god. Dr. Tryn is... jesus. Like a bird that flew into a window at full speed. I guess.. I mean he does look like a bird, so I guess he had hollow bones. Which means that first explosion must have... I'm gonna be sick. He seemed so nice, too. Thankfully the Sharkman and the Octopus seemed to have taken that a little better, squishy bodies I guess probably helps with shock absorption.
"INTERNAL BREACH DETECTED. INTRUDERS DETECTED. RED ALERT. RED ALERT. INTRUDERS-"
I get the point, and immediately begin shutting out the AI voice. Of course this happens. Textbook sci-fi. First contact interrupted by some kind of violent enemy. What is it? Soldiers? Don't tell me they came out here as explorers in the middle of some kind of Galactic warzone? No, that doctor seemed far too smart for these aliens to be naive. Must be Pirates, or maybe Mercenaries of some kind. The only question then, is why? What value could an Exploration ship hold for Pirates? Well, stupid question I guess. He also said "under the command of the Florbus Combine". Military ship. Military ships have military weapons. Of course pirates would want something like that if they got a chance, and I guess these ones decided a first-fucking-contact was theirs.
I go for the locker with my stuff, I doubt an airsoft gun is going to be helpful against space-age technology but you never know. Maybe I can use it to make a distracting noise, or maybe they won't be able to tell it isn't a real weapon and I can do some kind of bluff with it. Worst case, it's heavy- real metal. I liked the heft, and I'm sure a pirate's face probably won't. The Octopus and the Sharkman seemed to still be recovering, I guess it hit them a bit harder than I thought. But I didn't have any kind of medical expertise, especially for alien anatomy, so I didn't really bother to check on them. I smashed the glass window of the locker they put my stuff in- wasn't about to bother fiddling with some kind of locking mechanism and risk activating something.
It... didn't hurt? Its not actually glass, just some kind of thick transparent film. Really easy to break through, in fact. Tore like some kind of gel. Eh, whatever. Got my airsoft gun, wielding it as seriously as I could so any pirate that saw me might think its real and think twice before starting a gunfight. I glanced over at the Octopus, I think its name was Dr. Ruffaloo? Funny name. Its color changed, it was a shade of blue before but now its a sort of maroon color. Its.. I think those are its eyes, are locked on me. I guess it saw me get my stuff, was it really that surprising though? It wasn't exactly made of anything- oh dear god.
Light gravity, weak security locker. Someone fucking died from that toss. Is... is this a space orcs thing? Am I some kind of like, monster beast to these people? Noooo, no way. That mother fucker over there is a SHARK for fucks sake and bit like a tank to boot, ain't NO WAY I'm stronger than him. It must not have been a secure locker, I mean what kind of security locker is fucking transparent? Yes, that's it. Doc Oc over there is just scared cuz my little act is a bit too good- he did say he thought I was a soldier, so to him I'm a trained killer getting ready for my morning commute. The fake military fatigues certainly help, I think. I call out to King Shark, er, Hark Manyfred I think his name was?
*"*Hey, Big Guy get up. Alexa up there said we got intruders. I don't know what that disco banana you got does, but if its what I think it is we're gonna have to throw a party for the uninvited guests."
He just groaned, then looked up at me confused. Too much metaphor I guess, translator must've garbled it.
*"*Pick up your weapon and get ready for a fight." I corrected.
He just nodded, and seemed to take a similar stance as mine. Good, glad to know 'lieutenant' wasn't a mistranslation. At least someone here is professionally trained.
-----
I could scarcely believe my oculars. This, 'Duncan' individual just tore through a security locker as if it were made of primitive writing scrap. Not to mention the detonation, he was thrown to the wall as all of us and stood up from it like nothing happened. Even lieutenant Hark was rendered unconscious for a few moments, my brain has no functions for losing consciousness so I was sharply aware of everything that transpired. Dr. Tryn even... he... he may have been an annoying colleague, but he was a good friend. What am I going to tell his mate? I... I have to avoid thinking about it, for now. Right now we have bigger problems. If those intruders were willing to toss the vessel that fiercely, our lives are certainly the least of their concerns. Dr. Tryn was far from the only Freeana on the ship, and there's no telling how much more viscious the impact was in other parts of the vessel.
The creature, or rather, Duncan, spoke something but the Translator failed. That impact must have jumbled it a bit. What it said next, however, was crystal clear- redundant computer must have come online.
"Pick up your weapon and get ready for a fight," It said. So it IS a soldier, I knew it. Then that strange device it holds must be a weapon of some kind. Dear lord... don't tell me it fires lead projectiles like the one I extracted from it? I must warn him, if he fires something like that aboard this ship it could rip a hole to the void, or puncture a vital fuel reserve. The ship has systems for handling such occurences, but they can only do so much- especially if other events have already activated them.
*I began, "*Please! Do not use that weapon aboard this vessel! Such a heavy projectile will surely-"
"Oh, uh, yeah, don't worry about it. It's not real. Just a toy." It said. A toy? So... it isn't a soldier? Oh no... this is not good. That leaves Hark as the only one here capable of defending himself, and if a firefight breaks out in my medical facility it could severely damage the equipment and leave me unable to treat the wounded.
*"*Lieutenant! You must fight outside of this chamber! If any of my equipment is damaged in a fight, it could turn out poorly for us all!" He simply grunts and nods at me. Grobulan fighting instinct must have kicked in already, he cannot speak. It likely takes all of his willpower just to avoid turning on us- but it is precisely his extreme degree of self control that earned him his position upon this vessel, and indeed in the Florban military in general despite his people's reputation. In fact, if my suspicion is correct, Grobulan pirates tend to be very keen on explosive weaponry when it comes to naval combat. For exactly the reason that it turns the insides of any vessel struck into a bloody mess, perfect for activating their instincts and turning them into some of the most terrifying fighters in the galaxy when they inevitably board. And judging from the screams coming from the hallway, I'd say my suspicions are terribly, terribly correct.
We're all going to die.
-End of Part 1-

I always use a template for the personality. The one below conserves tokens and works well. There is also an other one. Notes will be in ()
Personality section
Name = Age = Gender = Species = (If the bot is human you don't need to put this. The bot assumes it's human most of the time.) Sexuality = Appearance = , , , , , , , , , , , (I would recommend to put only a few things to save tokens. Just eye color, hair color, and body shape. Only put clothes if it's important to the character.) Personality = , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , (This is for basic personality traits like honest, kind, arrogant, intelligent etc) {{Char}}'s speech = , , , , (For how the character talks. This can be catch phrases, that the cuss a lot, that they tell jokes frequently stuff like that) Habits = , , , , , , , , , , , (I don't always use this but when I do it's for little things that the character does like playing with their clothes, humming when bored, or addictions) Occupation = (Their job) Kinks = , , , , , , , (Really important for NSFW bots. Put stuff they are into) Likes = , , , , , , , , , , , Backstory = (Their past. Even if they are purely for NSFW I would still give the character a backstory. It feels incomplete without one and sometimes I've had bots create extremely inaccurate stuff for their backstory) Species Info = (If the character is non human write their special traits and appearances here. Even if it's a popular monster like an elf or goblin there are many different versions of them and sometimes the AI makes up wrong stuff.) Powers = , , , , (If the character has super powers or magic you put that here) Relationship with {{user}} = (If the character knew user before the conversation put what the character thinks of user and how they met or anything else in here)
Other template:
Name("") Age("") Gender("") Species("") Sexuality("") Appearance("" + "" + "" + "" + " " + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Personality("" + "" + "" + "" + " " + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") {{Char}}'s speech("" + "" + "" + "" + "") Habits("" + "" + "" + "" + "") Occupation("") Kinks("" + "" + "" + "" + " " + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Likes("" + "" + "" + "" + " " + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Backstory("") Species Info("") Powers("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Relationship with {{user}}("")
Message
Scenario
This is basically about when the message takes place. For example if I wrote a message about the character sitting next to user on the first day of school I would write this: It's the first day of school and {{char}} is sitting next to {{user}}.
I hope this guide helps. Unfortunately I have now advice on the first message or example dialogue. Those are my weak points.

Chapter 1116 didn’t reveal much new information, so I decided to use this opportunity, and the break week, to talk about the increasingly more important character that is Imu, the Supreme Ruler of the World who sits on the Empty Throne. You might be wondering what there is to talk about a character whose appearance we don’t even know, but, after doing some extensive research, I found out there is surprisingly a lot to them. Or rather, a lot that we can infer thanks to their many appearances, and the reveal of their surname - Nerona.
https://preview.redd.it/xmogfhw0m75d1.png?width=739&format=png&auto=webp&s=f34e3301601d505e05d1cce890cf2ef7bbcf4444

Imu Carries the Name of a Real World Emperor

When creating the many rulers we see throughout the story of One Piece, Oda has more often than not based the Kings, and their Kingdoms, on real life countries. This is probably the most noticeable with the 50 Monarchs that could be seen attending the latest Levely, as they are all pretty much an amalgamation of the stereotypes of the countries they are meant to represent:
https://preview.redd.it/fkucjyw1m75d1.png?width=1617&format=png&auto=webp&s=20c9f1c7630f0fd67d21d967d07d2897b50c2eb8

• King Ham Burger resembles the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, and is named after hamburgers (stereotypical American food).
• King Tacos resembles the Mexican revolutionary, Emilio Zapata, and is named after the traditional Mexican food.
• King Tea IV has a hat resembling a Union Jack, his goatee resembles clock hands (Big Ben), and his name is a reference to how prominent tea is in British culture.
• Etc.

But more interestingly are the “First Twenty”; the twenty kingdoms that formed what is now known as The World Government, and the countries that inspired them. So far, we have learned about 3 of them:
https://preview.redd.it/1fyl5rx3m75d1.png?width=1916&format=png&auto=webp&s=26586450572fbb4fa3f8689a8db5dcfe7d67e7b5
First is the Donquixote family, and the Dressrosa Kingdom, which are inspired by the country of Spain; particularly, the autonomous communities of Andalusia and Catalonia. The family name itself comes from the titular character of the Don Quixote novel, one of the best-selling (Spanish) novels of all time.
Then we have the Nefertari family, and the Alabasta Kingdom, which are inspired by the modern day Middle East and Ancient Egypt. The Nefertari name most likely comes from the 14th century Queen of Egypt, Nefertiti, who is believed to have been a “female King”, for a brief period of time (sounds familiar, right?).
And finally, with Nerona Imu, and the Nerona family, they may be inspired by ancient Rome.
https://preview.redd.it/881e2as4m75d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5a077cb3054ad6dc61254eea69cba182b206d82
The last name “Nerona” might be a reference to Nero’s Torches *(*Polish: Pochodnie Nerona), a painting by Henryk Siemiradzki, which depicts a group of early Christian martyrs about to be burned alive as the alleged perpetrators of the Great Fire of Rome, during the reign of Emperor Nero. This comparison is particularly interesting because of the relationship between another two Egyptian and Roman rulers, Cleopatra and Caesar.

Book of Genesis

I’ve written about the Biblical influence Oda has been using for his story, especially recently in relation to Imu, Gorōsei, and the “Great Flood”, and when Ivankov speculates about Nerona family and Imu, he uses a book titled “Genesis”.
https://preview.redd.it/as93tzs5m75d1.png?width=739&format=png&auto=webp&s=1724a080b70aa5eae4a6413646dd88e036bcf46b
This is likely a reference to the "Book of Genesis”, the first book of the Hebrew Bible and the Christian Old Testament, which details the creation of the universe. Imu is someone referred to as “Creator” by the Five Elders, which feeds into the idea of Imu being this godlike figure. An interesting thing about the full name of “Nerona Imu” is that, when written in katakana, it can be combined to form the kanji meaning “God” and “Budhha”.

• Nerona = ネロナ = 神 (“kami”) = God
• Imu = イム = 仏 (“hotoke”) = Buddha

When combined, the two Kanji characters (神 and 仏) form 神仏 (“Shinbutsu”), the word that is generally used to refer to the collective notion of all deities.
https://preview.redd.it/p8r10ao7m75d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc24444af138d56aab0397fbdcf0b7599adf6112
The first time we see Imu they are surrounded by flowers and trees, in a room that looks like a garden, called the “[Room of Flowers](https://onepiece.fandom.com/wiki/Pangaea_Castle#:~:text=The%20Room%20of%20Flowers%20(,hung%20on%20one%20of%20the)””). A famous story from the aforementioned Book of Genesis is the story of Adam and Eve, eating the forbidden fruit (of knowledge of good and evil), and subsequently being banished from the Garden of Eden. Considering the importance fruit (Devil Fruit) and trees (Treasure Tree Adam and Sunlight Tree Eve) have, it's very likely Imu’s story itself has some heavy connection to the origin of Devil Fruits.
One thing I find particularly interesting about Imu comes from their connection to the Gorōsei - the Five Elder Stars. Where every member of the 5 Elder Stars is named after a planet in our system, alongside the 3 ancient weapons, Imu’s name so far has no meaning that connects it to our solar system. However, if we read the name in reverse, it reads “Umi”, the Japanese word for the ocean. This also tracks with another reading of the name Imu: Yamm.
“Chaos Monster and Sun God”
Yamm) comes from the Semitic word for the ‘sea’, and is an Ugaritic God of the Sea that is presented as the candidate for the position of “King of the Gods”. Yamm is consistently depicted as tyrannical, angry, violent and harsh. In the aforementioned Hebrew Bible - the one where the Book of Genesis comes from - Yam also appears and is the enemy of Yahweh, who is (the) God. Additionally, Yam is mentioned in Ancient Egypt as someone feared by the Egyptian seafarers throughout their travels, kind of like how the Pirates “fear” the Navy that is trying to stop them.

The Immortal Imu

The one other tree mentioned in the Garden of Eden, is the Tree of (Eternal) Life), which grants immortality to those who eat from it, and, while not directly stated, it’s beyond heavily implied that Imu is immortal. When talking about them, Ivankov wonders if the Imu that sits on the Empty Throne is perhaps the same Saint Imu who once ruled the Nerona family, 800 years ago, insinuating their immortality.
https://preview.redd.it/f4i3gbpdm75d1.png?width=739&format=png&auto=webp&s=ffd893436c1d66b7b72832abd198959a4ccbbaa1
Furthermore, there has been a long-running theory about the Gorōsei themselves being immortal, and the short flashback to the God Valley seemingly confirms this, with Saturn looking exactly the same ~40 years ago as he does in the present. I know Imu isn’t the same as the Gorōsei, but it would be weird if his servants were immortal while they weren’t. Lastly, Doflamingo’s number one priority before trying to take over the Mary Geoise, and become the ruler of the World, was to make Law use the Ope Ope no Mi to perform the “Perennial Youth Operation” on him, which might very well stem from the fact that the current ruler is immortal.
https://preview.redd.it/ecte6skgm75d1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=8b82e8a43bfccce239960b7cbda0595c965dabe6
Reminder that Doflamingo is aware of Imu’s existence as he had insinuated their existence a couple of times, and openly stated he had witnessed the “Treasure of Mary Geoise”.

Imu’s Appearance

While the blob of darkness that is Imu’s silhouette doesn’t tell us much about their appearance, the silhouette we see them assume after Sabo’s attack does.
https://preview.redd.it/elrcn1zhm75d1.png?width=816&format=png&auto=webp&s=3eccb87c92b0937595c96e06b857b39436b55b25
We see Imu’s round eyes take more of a triangle appearance, and Imu takes a bestial, yet still humanoid, form of what could be described as Dragon. Perhaps this is where the “Celestial Dragon” name comes from, since the names that Oda comes up with can often be quite literal (for example, “Big Mom” is quite literally both a “mom” and “big”, but also figuratively a “big mom” due to the size of her family). Imu chomps on Sabo’s flame, seemingly unbothered by the fire, before we see them come down from the throne, massive in appearance. There are a couple of deities that could tie nicely in what little we see from this appearance, with the prime suspect being Tiamat.
https://preview.redd.it/x01vswyim75d1.jpg?width=2500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab468a0cc25a520826065bc72cf3c74b223be0c9
Tiamat is a Babylonian personification of the primordial sea who is generally depicted as a dragon, and, while this is the general depiction, the most frequent depiction of Tiamat is, interestingly, as a woman (with some additional features, such as a tail). I say interestingly because there has been some debate around Imu’s gender, and the likelihood of them being a woman. I know the likelihood of this being the case is pretty low now, since the way the Elders refer to Imu (“Sei”) is the way the male Celestial Dragons are called (female Celestial Dragons are called “Gū”).
https://preview.redd.it/1poled9mm75d1.png?width=635&format=png&auto=webp&s=5673c003f77b836f37f5463fd8d54b138feb2e82
Tiamat is often paralleled with Sea Deities from other mythologies, which includes the Jörmungandr - the World Serpent from Nordic Mythology that is so big it encircles the world (like the Red Line does) - and Leviathan - the Sea Serpent from the Hebrew Bible - which represents a Demon that is the personification of Envy.

Nefertari D. Lililth

Imu’s obsession with Lili, and in turn with Vivi, has been so apparent that it has reached the point of ridicule. They literally have a giant picture of, what I assume is, Neferari Lili in the Room of Flowers.
https://preview.redd.it/1z56pvcnm75d1.png?width=561&format=png&auto=webp&s=75ce4c35fcd9df20d17777fbcfa006abea9def39
If the twist isn’t that Lili and Imu are the same person, then there is a certain envy that I feel Imu might have toward Lili, and her family/ancestors. When we see Imu in the Room of Flowers, we see them cutting up the pictures/wanted posters of four people:

1. First is Luffy, who we now know is Joyboy, in possession of the Nika fruit.
2. Second is Shirahoshi, who we know is one of the Ancient Weapons (Poseidon).
3. Third is Blackbeard, who we don’t know exactly how he ties into this whole thing, other than to assume it was due to his “special lineage”.

And the last one is Vivi, who we now know was due to her connection to Lili. Besides Lili’s name being interesting because it carries the will of D, there is also the official English translation of it, “Lily”, the flower, while the etymology of the name could be tied to “Lilith”.
“Lady Lilith” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1866-1868 1872-1873)
Lilith is a female figure in Mesopotamian and Jewish mythology, theorized to be the first wife of Adam and a primordial she-demon. Lilith is cited as having been "banished" from the Garden of Eden for not complying with and obeying Adam. There is way too much stuff about Lilith, from all kinds of religions, that could be said here, but I think the most important information to mention is her connection to Adam, due to the nature of recent (biblical) developments in the story. With Imu taking this omnipotent God role in the story, Lili being the one to not comply with the rest of the 20 Kings in forming the World Government, does make her similar to Lilith; especially considering she spread the Poneglyphs around the world, and especially if we consider Joyboy as the “Adam” equivalent in the One Piece.
https://preview.redd.it/fkarj25rm75d1.png?width=760&format=png&auto=webp&s=fdaed7d983f7f4da18003ef691ff9b9a7a48adb8

The Many Saints of Mary Geoise

Those who inhabit the “Holy Land” of Mary Geoise - the Celestial Dragons - are all called “Saints”: Saint Charloss, Saint Garling, Saint Saturn, etc. The meaning of the term saint depends on the context and denomination. In doctrines like Catholic and Orthodox Christianity, all of those in Heaven are considered to be saints, but some are considered worthy of greater honor or emulation. What is interesting about this is that Imu isn’t referred to as “Saint Imu” by the Five Elders.
https://preview.redd.it/z99r41bsm75d1.png?width=739&format=png&auto=webp&s=8060e61b527865ba1dabeb624435b6266ff90131
The Imu from Nerona family, mentioned by the Ivankov, is referred to as “Saint Imu”, but the one we see in the present isn’t. This is likely because Imu ascended above the “mere” rank of a saint, once they took the Empty Throne, and became something akin to God (the Creator). Hence, why the name of those who judge even the saints, is “God’s Knights”; they enforce the will of God. There appears to be a hierarchy going around here, with the “Saints”, “God’s Knights” (most likely meant to be the Angels), and the “Creator”.

Credits

Big thanks to u/mitzbitz16 for their post regarding the meaning of the Nerona Imu name

Calling all amazing Deck Builders! I am brand new to MTG only been playing for a couple months now. I have successfully created my first Zombie deck and am absolutely in love with it but as we all know the thirst for more decks is unquenchable (Insert Kylo Ren meme).
Anyways, I have a vision of what I think would be a really fun (for Casual) Commander. The goal is to make it budget friendly but much better than the best Precon! If anyone wants to help me on this journey I be very appreciative!
Here is the vision!
Win Strategy: Each turn I am building up Defence making each turn harder and harder to get to my life points (I think thats called walls?), while offensively I am pinging down the competition turn by turn.
Basically I just build my walls higher and higher, while time inevitably kills everyone else.
Concept: I would think this needs to be slower start so I don't look to threatening right off the top, but maybe I am wrong about that? What I want to play out is that the pings just get more severe as time passes before players realize how big of a threat I actually am but its already too late.
Plan B, is making my defence able to be threatening as well (if need be), Commander that I have seen that would work for this would be: [[Arcades, the Strategist]]. However he isn't really about Pinging but that actually might be ok. If maybe 85% of creatures are walls and then 15% is ping creatures and then a bunch of ping type artifacts & Enchantments.
Deck Name: Walls make Solid Friends... maybe I can think of something better that involces pinging as well!
Thanks in advanced everyone. Really excited to hear what everyone thinks and if this even a good idea or not! Like I said, I think it be fun!

First time poster, literally only downloaded Reddit to post because I’ve became addicted to SMOSH reads Reddit and it seems Reddit users are not afraid to tell it like it is. Names changed for obvious reasons.
Backstory - I (37f) have been friends with Shay (36f) for 20 years, we were on each other’s weddings and I love her kids like they’re my own family. Shay has lots of friends, whereas I only have a few. Her and Sophie (38f) I have always been the one to try and keep our friendships going, planning meals, get togethers and vacations. I usually plan something every year for us three to get away somewhere together (they’ve been friends for 20 years too) I have struggled with my mental health my whole life (picture break downs, suicide attempts, manic episodes) and I admit that maybe I rely too much on my friends to help me when I’m bad. I only have them and my husband to talk to and I’m sure it gets exhausting for them. About 18 months ago Sophie was going through some really tough things in her personal life and it got so bad she was struggling to see a way out. Obviously I wanted to do something to help as I know full well how dark it can get inside your own head. I decided the best way to try and cheer her up and help take her mind of things was to go an impromptu mini vay-cay. I booked an Airbnb for 2 nights in 2 days time in her favourite place. It was Friday afternoon and we were going to go on the Sunday morning. Super impromptu. I didn’t think to ask Shay because I didn’t want to put her under pressure to find childcare at such short notice/feel bad if she couldn’t make it. In hindsight I realise I should have asked her anyway but I didn’t. She found out when I posted on social media about the trip and was naturally very upset. She confronted us both via the group chat and we both felt immediately like assholes for what we had done. We both apologised profusely, explained that it wasn’t intentional and asked what we could do to make it up to her but she said she needed to step back from the friendship for a bit because she was so hurt. I apologised again saying that I totally understand and to take as long as she needed and we would be there for her. A few weeks passed by with my guilt eating me up so I messaged her and asked how she was, told her we had bought her a gift from the trip and asked if she’d like to meet up and talk things through. She said no and to forget about the gift. I reiterated again how bad I felt and how sorry I was and asked if there was anything I could do to make it up to her. She said she was hurt and felt like I only ever wanted her for the support and never the fun things. This took me by surprise I’ll be honest. I know I’m sometimes hard to deal with but I’ve always put her first. I have never missed a Christmas or Easter or any of the kids/hers/husbands birthdays and always made a point of seeing them at least once a month, bringing little gifts for the kids and a sweet treat for us to have while we catch up. I always went to her because I know how stressful it is to wrangle three kids up and go visit someone. I involved her in everything I did. I missed some of my own family events to do things with her instead. I even asked her to be my MOH. I tried to initiate conversations and meet ups with her over the next few months but it was all very weird and felt forced. I eventually stopped trying because it was breaking my heart and I haven’t heard a peep now for months. I miss her. I miss the kids. I miss what we had. She hasn’t spoken a word to Sophie since it happened and Sophie says she refuses to chase after her because she has enough shit to deal with. Just before this all happened Shay started hanging out with a new group of girls and they’ve all became very close since, constantly posting on social media about how much they mean to each other and I can’t help but feel hurt by this. I don’t think she ever posted about our friendship like that in all the time I’ve known her but I totally understand that sometimes you just meet people and click like they fill a void that you have. I’m trying to move on and heal but it’s hard and I can’t help wondering if I’m the asshole or not.

Using a throwaway for privacy.
I'm a pngtuber, and a vtuber that I'm friends with wanted to commission a pngtuber from me. My personal paypal that I use for commissions (seperate from my pngtuber accounts) has my legal name on it, and I'm already using my business paypal for an online shop. I don't have any other bank/card info that I could use to make another business account with, and I'm pretty sure I'd need that to transfer money if I made another account (though I'd love to be wrong so please let me know).
I'd love some advice on how to do this commission while maintaining my privacy. I'm a foreigner living in Canada and don't have a Canadian bank account, so any advice or alternative needs to work in Canada with a foreign bank account.
Thank you for your help ;-;

A little background info: My mom's family immigrated in 80s or 90s to my home country, when she was 18. I remember once, she said to me she wanted to become a doctor and even got accepted by a uni but her father(my grandfather, he was a teacher) didn't let her to study because they just immigrated, maybe couldn't afford and at the time she got accepted there was a kinda civil war in my home country and unis wasn't that safe.
She s falling for all kind of pyramid scheme, spiritual scams(amway,herbalife u name it) .And some of them are incredibly absurd, like she bought a "machine" that sees future and all sicknesses u ll get for 3 k dollar.I always warned her and sent videos about pyramid schemes,always tried to explain it.Even though she didn't believe me, she always said "maybe, I'll look for it".But she s still keep believing all those nonsense and never misses a trend scam.She wasted thousands of dollars but my dad makes well enough, money she wasted is never a problem.
Last week she told me during a phone call w me and my brother(we all live separated) that, she registered to a well known uni to get her medicine certificate, gets online classes and will become a doctor in 2 years. Its obviously a scam but I just couldn't say that, its a scam but also i couldn't fake that im happy for her because she looked happy, proud of herself. I got emotional and made up an excuse to end to call. At this point I don't know, how can I help her. I don't wanna destroy her dreams but it's hard to watch she got scammed and I just don't do anything and ignore it.
TLDR: My moms always wanted to become a doctor and keeps getting scammed. She said, she registered to a uni to become a doctor.I couldn't say her that its a scam.

 readFile("win_lolbins.csv") 

// Get all process executions for Windows systems #event_simpleName=ProcessRollup2 event_platform="Win" // Check to make sure FileName is on our LOLBINS list located in lookup file match(file="win_lolbins.csv", field="FileName", column=FileName, include=[FileName, Description, Paths, URL], strict=true) 

// Massage ImageFileName so a true key pair value can be created that combines file path and file name regex("(\\\\Device\\\\HarddiskVolume\\d+)?(?.+)", field=ImageFileName, strict=false) ShortFN:=lower("ShortFN") FileNameLower:=lower("FileName") RunningKey:=format(format="%s_%s", field=[FileNameLower, ShortFN]) // Check to see where the executing file's key doesn't match an expected key value for an LOLBIN !match(file="win_lolbins.csv", field="RunningKey", column=key, strict=true) 

// Output results to table table([aid, ComputerName, UserName, ParentProcessId, ParentBaseFileName, FileName, ShortFN, Paths, CommandLine, Description, Paths, URL]) // Clean up "Paths" to make it easier to read Paths =~replace("\, ", with="\n") // Rename two fields so they are more explicit rename([[ShortFN, ExecutingFilePath], [Paths, ExpectFilePath]]) // Add Link for Process Explorer rootURL := "https://falcon.crowdstrike.com/" /* US-1 */ // rootURL := "https://falcon.us-2.crowdstrike.com/" /* US-2 */ // rootURL := "https://falcon.laggar.gcw.crowdstrike.com/" /* Gov */ // rootURL := "https://falcon.eu-1.crowdstrike.com/" /* EU */ format("[PrEx](%sgraphs/process-exploretree?id=pid:%s:%s)", field=["rootURL", "aid", "ParentProcessId"], as="ProcessExplorer") // Add link back to LOLBAS Project format("[LOLBAS](%s)", field=[URL], as="Link") // Remove unneeded fields drop([rootURL, ParentProcessId, URL]) The syntax is well commented, so you can see what’s going on. 

// Get all process executions for Windows systems #event_simpleName=ProcessRollup2 event_platform="Win" // Check to make sure FileName is on our LOLBINS list located in lookup file match(file="win_lolbins.csv", field="FileName", column=FileName, include=[FileName, Description, Paths, URL], strict=true) // Massage ImageFileName so a true key pair value can be created that combines file path and file name regex("(\\\\Device\\\\HarddiskVolume\\d+)?(?.+)", field=ImageFileName, strict=false) ShortFN:=lower("ShortFN") FileNameLower:=lower("FileName") RunningKey:=format(format="%s_%s", field=[FileNameLower, ShortFN]) // Check to see where the executing file's key doesn't match an expected key value for an LOLBIN !match(file="win_lolbins.csv", field="RunningKey", column=key, strict=true) // Output results to table table([aid, ComputerName, UserName, ParentProcessId, ParentBaseFileName, FileName, ShortFN, Paths, CommandLine, Description, Paths, URL]) // Clean up "Paths" to make it easier to read Paths =~replace("\, ", with="\n") // Rename two fields so they are more explicit rename([[ShortFN, ExecutingFilePath], [Paths, ExpectFilePath]]) // Add Link for Process Explorer rootURL := "https://falcon.crowdstrike.com/" /* US-1 */ // rootURL := "https://falcon.us-2.crowdstrike.com/" /* US-2 */ // rootURL := "https://falcon.laggar.gcw.crowdstrike.com/" /* Gov */ // rootURL := "https://falcon.eu-1.crowdstrike.com/" /* EU */ format("[PrEx](%sgraphs/process-exploretree?id=pid:%s:%s)", field=["rootURL", "aid", "ParentProcessId"], as="ProcessExplorer") // Add link back to LOLBAS Project format("[LOLBAS](%s)", field=[URL], as="Link") // Remove unneeded fields drop([rootURL, ParentProcessId, URL]) Once executed, you will have output that looks similar to this: 

TRIGGER WARNING ; SA
I don't know where else to post this, I don't know who else to tell this to be frank there is only my boyfriend I do talk with but I feel weird talking about this with them. I feel like I'm losing my mind and its a cry for help. I'll start by saying, in 2022 I was SA'ed by my ex partner alongside he manipulated, gaslighted me. I had a pretty stable life in the beginning of 2022 because finally I had a friend group of people whom I could talk to freely and have a partner who wasn't abusing me and was genuinely nice then it just came crashing down. I started having fallout with all of my friends one by one from september 2022, for various reasons. By the mid of 2023 I lost my entire friend group of 7 people besides my partner who was also my friend before. This really took a toll on me and I stopped using social media altogether because of it, I switched to smaller spam account which only consisted of my friends but after all this I just started despising everything. My friends were my only support system against my mothers abuse but they were also gone.
I'm currently in a long distance with my current partner so I thought okay I don't need socials anymore its okay but I started getting very obsessive about it, to the point I'd find out anyone who is even slightly related to these people and avoid them altogether. I stopped going outside in fear that I might run into them though they don't even live close to me. I even went as far as blocking them on non social media apps like spotify,gmail etc. The idea of even seeing their name pop up anywhere in online makes me feel crazy and I'd have difficulty breathing. I stopped drawing, making creative content altogether just because of this fear. I don't want anyone to see me or even hear about how I'm doing. I keep thinking about they probably say awful things about my back and they probably do. I heard from few of my artist friends that they heard from my SA that I lied about being SA'ed. After hearing that I puked in the road and my vision was getting blurry. To avoid even hearing anything about me I isolated myself ,I erased all of my identity from socials. I've currently blocked over 200 people its not like I know all of them personally but I found out they might me related to those 8-9 people that I know so I did this.
I'm so scared, I'm genuinely so scared and I don't know how to fight this off. I want to make art again,post my photography, make an archive of all of the cool things and interact with people online but I just feel so handicapped. I can never muster up the courage to get back at it again.
This isn't the first time I've been SA'ed by a partner or lost so many friends like this but I just can't get over this. I've seen so my deaths both embedded in physical reality and metaphorical but I can't seem to be reborn again. I'm 21, I want to live, I'm so tired of having flashes of what happened to me. I can't move on my heart is so heavy. I was 19 when it happened and misfortunes keep happening to me but I thought life was finally taking a turn but I didn't know I'd end up so deep in the abyss.

Using a throwaway for privacy.
I'm a pngtuber, and a vtuber that I'm friends with wanted to commission a pngtuber from me. My personal paypal that I use for commissions (seperate from my pngtuber accounts) has my legal name on it, and I'm already using my business paypal for an online shop. I don't have any other bank/card info that I could use to make another business account with, and I'm pretty sure I'd need that to transfer money if I made another account (though I'd love to be wrong so please let me know).
I'd love some advice on how to do this commission while maintaining my privacy. I'm a foreigner living in Canada and don't have a Canadian bank account, so any advice or alternative needs to work in Canada with a foreign bank account.
Thank you for your help ;-;

My(18M) younger brother (14)is convinced that he's gonna become successful with creating and selling Instagram accounts.
Backstory:
It all started first with an obsession with Andrew tate Or his clones. (who I despise from the depths of my soul) He would watch those motivational videos about crypto/stocks/cars and whatnot. He started buying a bunch of self help books about mindset/business from a buch of no-name writers, with no psychiatric background or actual business achievement. He would spend hours creating 2-bit insta pages that have bios like "quit your 9-to-5, daily motivation!, become an alpha " And idk what crap. He started hanging out with these rich kids, sons of big businessmen and politicians. He would just show off so much like he's also some millionaire's kid(we are just a middle class family, our dad is a civil servant), hang out at questionable places, I called him out on this multiple times but he would never listen to me, he'd just leave the room, or say "tere dost to nahi hai na to jada bol mat"( ngl I did feel like smashing is head when he said this ) Before all this started he was a very good kid, he was interested in acting and I fully supported him, I also convinced my parents to not keep him from doing extracuri- activities, but he just abandoned that idea.
Current Situation
Now just a little while ago he had started this little business of selling pages.(I advised him that if he's interested in business he should atleast complete school I'd even help him convince our parents to transfer him to IB board school where I heard he could get dedicated courses to help him but he simply rejected that idea) . Basically he came into contact with some stranger online and partnered with him. That guy would make insta pages(just like ones I mentioned before direct clones at that) and my brother would look for buyers to buy that page/acc. He makes some 1-2k (he first gotta pay the guy in advance and then he would return him the money with commission)then loses 1k because of a deal gone sour. Now suddenly this guy asks him to send 10k and he'd give him a commission of 7k. So my brother asks me to lend him that money which I obviously refuse(this is shady as hell) he starts ranting about how I should help him and how this guy can be trusted(when I questioned it he would start to question my trust in him that I don't want him to get rich) after much efforts I convince him to not do it, but then he gives me and my mom a condition that they must buy him some online instagram course about "growing your account, growing your personal brand" I didn't understand anything, it just seemed like a course about how to increase your account followers and how to grow your business on Instagram (bro you gotta have a business first to make it grow, maybe you guys can help me I just couldn't understand what he was explaining about the course and how it is "essential") I don't understand how to make him realize that this is not really a good activity and it's not gonna provide him with any experience and is just gonna be a waste of time and money, our mother feels the same. Then he says he'll stop all this if they buy him a refurbished iPhone X(bro wtf?) He has been nagging and basically harassing our mother for this the whole day now. What can I do? I want him to stop but I can't make him listen to me. He doesn't wanna even communicate with me anymore.

I'm 17f and I want to change my name. My name is currently a very feminine one and I want to change it to one that is unisex.
I dont know why. But I really want to. My current name feels wrong to me. I dont like it. It makes me uncomforable. I dont want to have that name anymore.
I'm not trans and even though my own gender is not important to me, I'm not sure if I'm non-binary either. All I know is that I just really want to change my name.
I havent told anybody about this, other than my sister. It was about two months ago and she was very shocked. We didnt talk long back then, and she mostly listened. Until today, it wasnt brought up again.
Today she talked to me again about it. My sister is 19 and in the process of becoming a social worker so I thought she would be at least a bit understanding. She wasnt tho. She told me that its just a name and that it isnt important to change it. In the same breath she said:"But you are [my current name]! Thats who you are, how can you change that??" I told her, that I will be the same person with just a different name but she said thats not the same.
She then proceeded to tell me about how angry our mum will be if she finds out, and that it will be a huge adjustement for everyone around me. I told her I know that. I really do, I'm aware that everyone's gonna be shocked and probably not all that accepting. But still, its for me. I dont want to change, or rather, not change my name for other people.
My sister said she doesnt want to talk me out of it since it would make her a bad sister. Though in the end, she did.
As I said, I'm not sure about my own gender. All I know is that, when my sister said all that to me, I was very hurt. Like really hurt and disappointed, I felt completely unaccepted and like I had been plotting something stupid that you now have to talk me out of.
I know that at least partly my sister reacted that way was because I didnt give her agood enough reason. As I said in the beginning, I dont exactly know either why I want to change my name, but the way I felt when she talked to me, it showed me that this was even more important to me as I orginally thought. I feel like the thought of me changing my name turned into finding my gender identity first.
I honestly dont know why I'm posting this. I guess I'm seeking advice, or anybody who gets what I'm feeling. But I needed to tell someone what the hell is going on inside my head.

I grew up in an artistic family and used to make art everyday. More than once a day, drawing anything I wanted to do without hesitation and feeling really proud of how much detail and effort I put into it.
I’m now in a program where I’m a digital artist (after doing traditional art for most of my time) and I don’t like how anything looks. Even my traditional art feels like its lost its quality and uniqueness. I feel so much lower in quality as I see other artists around me. I haven’t shared this with anyone because I’m embarrassed to be an artist in the program and be at a point where I’m not proud of anything I make. I worry my colleagues think my work is bad.
I question if it is because I spread myself thinner and don’t focus on a niche. I try to create what people need in our projects, but this year I am leading and making my own project. For my own project under my name, I want to feel happy with what I make. I don’t know if I will get back to that point.
I haven’t even finished my degree and gone into an official graphic design/art job yet. I’m afraid I will be more bitter and feel incapable as time goes on. I have one more year for my program and really want to get better and feel happy when I make and “finish” a work of art.
Advice is welcome, and I appreciate anyone who reads this. Its been on my mind for a long time.

Introduction: When the teachers are many the line is confused; when laws are issued crime is born. Though curing sickness where there is no sickness may be extreme kindness, how does going by the rule where there is a rule preclude citing a story?
 

Case:

Fayan pointed to a blind. ¹

Two monks got up and went at the same time and rolled up the blind. ²

Fayan said, "One gain, one loss." ³

1. Don't say you don't know, don't say you don't see.
2. They walk the same but don't step the same.
3. He divides the body under the sword.

 
Commentary: Before the noon meal, Fayan went up to a meeting. He pointed to a blind, and two monks both went to roll up the blind.
Fayan said, "One gain, one loss."
Dongshan Ji said, "Elders, how do you understand? Some say that because they didn't understand the message they immediately went and rolled up the blind.
Also some say that the one he directed understood, but the one who went without being directed lost.
How could it be possible to understand in this way?
Since you can't understand in this way, I ask you elders, which one's gained, which one's lost?
I say, "washing a clod of earth in mud".
This is not only Fayan.
One day Nanquan said to a monk, "Quite a wind last night."
The monk also said, "Quite a wind last night."
Nanquan said, "It blew over a pine in front of the gate."
The monk also said, "It blew over a pine in front of the gate."
Nanquan next said to another monk, "Quite a wind last night."
The monk said, "What wind?"
Nanquan said, "It blew over a pine in front of the gate."
The monk said, "What pine?"
Nanquan said, "One gain, one loss."
The story of pointing at the blind absolutely has a strategy for helping people. The two monks rolled up the blind--on the part of the people involved, there are naturally two paths;
Fayan first gave a seal that sealed fast and never moved--on the part of Fayan, light and dark intermingle, with killing and enlivening action.
The sphere of great being; the universally wise know.
Everywhere they consider detachment from gain and loss and forgetting right and wrong to be superior; [but] Fayan runs right into the ocean of right and wrong, into the pit of gain and loss, and makes a living there--in sum, someone without gain or loss can determine the gain and loss everywhere in the world.
In my commenting like this too there is gain and loss; in your coming here too there is gain and loss; only those with profound insight into the point of advantage or disadvantage can compare their benefit or loss.
As this is called a case of being in the present, there is no need to bother to reexamine it, but because he couldn't flatly settle it, he couldn't avoid bringing on Tiantong's suit: the verse says:
 

Pines are straight, brambles are crooked; cranes are tall, ducks are short. ¹

In the age of the ancient emperors, people forgot about both government and anarchy. ²

Such peace--a hidden dragon in the abyss; ³

Such freedom--a soaring bird sheds its tether. ⁴

Nothing can be done about the Patriarch's coming from the West-- ⁵

Within, gain and loss are half and half. ⁶

Reeds go along with the wind, turning in the air, ⁷

The boat cuts off the flow and reaches the shore. ⁸

Spiritually sharp mendicant here, Observe Fayan's method. ⁹

1. Can't move it.
2. The gourds, picked up and dug into, are ripe.
3. Even the Buddha's eye looking cannot see.
4. The gaze cannot reach it.
5. The top beam isn't straight.
6. The pillars below are uneven.
7. Active consciousness chaotic, there's no basis to rely on.
8. Going downstream full sail, it's so fast it's hard to catch.
9. A drunk railing on the corner--who would take him seriously.
10. I too have some here, but it's rare to meet a suitable person.

 
Commentary: The ancients couldn't help but give the forced name "the fundamental lot"--"Pines are straight, brambles are crooked, herons are white, ravens are black"; this originally comes from the Heroic March Scripture--Tiantong changes it to "Cranes are tall, ducks are short."
Zhuangzi said, "The long do not have excess, the short are not lacking; therefore, though ducks' legs are short, they'll be miserable if you add to them, and though cranes' legs are long, they'll be unhappy if you cut them off."
A proverb says, "If you want to avoid misery, rely on your own lot."
Would it be only the people in the age of the ancient emperors who forgot about both government and anarchy?
Confucius said, "In the West there is a great sage--he doesn't govern and yet there is no anarchy."
"Government and anarchy" refer to "gain and loss."
The Third Patriarch said, "Gain and loss, right and wrong--let go of them all at once."
In the qian hexagram of the Book of Changes, in the first nine it says, "Hidden dragon--don't act."
In nine in the fourth place it says, "Sometimes it leaps in the abyss."
In the Record of the Platform of the Chin Dynasty it says that Wang Cizhong, while young, changed Cangjie's ancient symbols into the classical form of writing Chinese characters.
The first emperor of Chin called for him, but he didn't come.
The emperor, angry, had him imprisoned in a cage on a cart and taken to Chin.
On the way, Wang turned into a bird, shed his bonds and flew away.
As he reached West Mountain he dropped two quills: in Guiquan district there is a huge mortar stone--that's the place.
This eulogizes the way of high qntiquity, its provenance and treasury of deeds, each resting in its own lot.
Before the Buddha appeared in the world there were not so many scriptures, treatises, and public cases--when the Patriarch came from the West, then there was gain and loss.
Why not comprehend before the pointing to the screen?
"Reeds go along with the wind, turning in the air, the boat cuts off the flow and reaches the shore."
These two lines mark out the gain and loss of the two monks.
Tiantong here has great effect; it is not easy to say this. If one has not the ability to bring people to life, how could one be able to kill people?
For this reason Tiantong also said, "Spiritually-sharp mendicants here, observe Fayan's method."
Tell me, based on what law can he say so?
Wait till you've been hit, then I'll tell you.