CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Ive been dating her for about 6 months.
Gotta straight out say it, I'm the grade A douchebag in this situation, so let's get this out of the way. We met on hinge, I wasn't attracted to her in the slightest, let's be real, appearance wise I'm way above her league. but I've been on hinge for two years without even a second date at the time, I just want a gf so bad so I went out with her.
After 2 months or so she ask me to go exclusive with her, during that entire two months Ive gotten zero matches, like I sent out all the likes everyday and zero matches. I didn't know what to say so I was like, ok you are my exclusive gf now. She dreamed about me taking her to her favorite park, bought her her favorite dessert, and asking her to be her official boyfriend, and wouldn't' let the dream go. Well, I feel bad for her so I did exactly just that, the way she smiled almost made me convinced that I actually like her. But umm I still have hinge on my tablet (hidden at home) rn, but can't cheat when there's no matches. You can bad name me in the comments or whatever. But this is the context.
So, obviously she deserves someone who's actually attracted to her and can make her happy for the rest of her life. I'm not that guy, my preferences aside, I don't want children like ever they are disgusting, but she wants children and gets baby fever all the time. She's religious, I think religion is just crazy people preaching about a fictional character and it makes no sense. She wants to get married before 30, I don't feel like marrying anytime soon. She wants to move to the other side of the country, I want stay here. She's a cat person, I like dogs. My asian parents would never accept me dating a black girl so I've been hiding her from them and social media. And my friends keep teasing me nonstop about dating an ugly girl. This is a dead end relationship, I don't do short term relationships so I cannot remain in a relationship that I know is not gonna work long term.
But, she's super into me, and is extremely dependent on me. She's working two jobs and studying, and is nearly broke, can hardly make ends meet. She cry herself to bed like every week, and always vent to me about how she feel so inadequate, other girls look so pretty in their summer dresses with nice skin and skinny body makes her so jealous, her parents abusing her and bodyshame her (tbh her parents kinda have a point), not having a single friend, both her ex cheated on her and SAed her, she's so worried that she will fail out of school, working both jobs is so physically and mentally draining, and all that. She attempted suicide 5 months before meeting me, so there's that too.
On top of that, she told me over and over, that meeting me is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to her in her entire life. That I'm 100% her type, I'm the k-drama male lead in the k-drama that is her life, end quote. That since I agree to be her bf, she's been feeling motivated in life for the first time. That I'm the only person in her life that she can talk to, because she has no friends and her parents despite her. That I am 100% the man of her dreams, and everyday she feel so blessed having me in her life. If I don't text her every hour she gets anxious and starts to panic, she can only sleep when I do a video call and put the camera towards me the entire night so she knows that I'm "beside" her as she sleep.
Well, when being told all that, I can't exactly just break up with her. I just....feel so bad? I've been brainstorming nonstop for the past month on how exactly I can break up with her while keeping the devastation to her at a minimum. I would feel guilty for life if she just offed herself after I break up with her. She has no friends, and her parents despite her, so I can't text anyone to take care of her after I break up with her. We go to the same school too and she knows my workplace, so I'll 100% bump into her multiple times post break up.
Bro someone plz help me out, im trapped.

LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xttgsAnXHlA
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Hey everyone, i have a bit of an odd question/request… I’m not a teacher but a past student wondering if i can somehow find my old primary school year 3 teacher?
I know my odds aren’t great but when i was a kid she was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had and made such a difference to me. I didn’t really have many good adults in my life at the time but she and a couple other teachers really helped me and i feel they made a big difference for me mentally. I was a bit of a loner as a child and had trouble making friends and without her I would have been very lonely. She encouraged my creativity and i started drawing because of her and to this day I’m still an artist. and I just wanted to see if i could find her and maybe talk to her and thank her.
But it has been a long time (I’m 30 years old now) and I don’t even know if she’s still teaching? I’ve searched her name on facebook the past few years but I haven’t had any luck. So I’m hoping maybe the power of the internet could help…
Her name was Mrs. Smith (first name Yvonne) and my school was Lethbridge Park Public School in NSW and it would have been around the 2000’s ish that i was there.
Do you guys think theres a chance i could find her? Or am i dreaming? Thanks in advance

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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The Student Association of Psychedelic Investigation (SAPI) warmly invites everyone to its first social event of 2024, The Fantastic Fungi Movie Screening! Fantastic Fungi is an award-winning documentary introducing the often-hidden world of mycology, highlighting the life-giving role that fungi play in our ecosystems and their potential in our lives for healing, creative enhancement and more.
About the film:
"When so many are struggling for connection, inspiration and hope, Fantastic Fungi brings us together as interconnected creators of our world."
Fantastic Fungi, directed by Louie Schwartzberg, is a consciousness-shifting film that takes us on an immersive journey through time and scale into the magical earth beneath our feet, an underground network that can heal and save our planet. Through the eyes of renowned scientists and mycologists like Paul Stamets, best-selling authors Michael Pollan, Eugenia Bone, Andrew Weil and others, we become aware of the beauty, intelligence and solutions the fungi kingdom offers us in response to some of our most pressing medical, therapeutic, and environmental challenges.
Director: Louie Schwartzberg Writer: Mark Monroe Narrated by Brie Larson Producer: Louie Schwartzberg, Lyn Davis Lear, Elease Lui Stemp Cast: Paul Stamets, Michael Pollan, Andrew Weil, Eugenia Bone, Suzanne Simard Rating: Not Rated Running Time: 81 Minutes"
Proceeds from this event will go towards fundraising for future SAPI projects and events as we seek to increase education about responsible psychedelic investigation and broaden the voices heard in current psychedelic dialogues. This event welcomes people from all backgrounds, whether you are familiar with fungi and psychedelics, or just curious to learn!
Online Tickets: $5 unwaged/students $10 waged
Door tickets: $6 unwaged/students $12 waged
Venue: HMLT104, Kelburn Campus of Victoria University of Wellington
Details:

• 6:00 – 6:30pm: Doors open to meet and socialise
• 6:30-6:40pm: Rebekah Senanayake (president of SAPI) to give a short talk on SAPI and psychedelics
• 6:40-8:00pm: Fantastic Fungi Movie plays
• 8:00 – 8:30pm: Doors remain open for discussion

About SAPI:
SAPI was born in 2024 at Victoria University of Wellington with the vision of fostering interdisciplinary dialogue and research into altered states of consciousness across all levels of university and the wider public. SAPI responsibly investigates altered states of consciousness (including psychedelics), their effects on the brain and body, the function they have in different cultures, and the role they play in human evolution past, present, and in *hypothetical* futures. SAPI welcomes anyone with an interest in the responsible investigation of psychedelics to join (student & other)!
Connect with us!
The aim of SAPI is to foster interdisciplinary dialogue and research into psychedelics and altered states of consciousness. We invite in people from all backgrounds - whether you are an emerging student, an expert in the field, or simply curious about altered states and looking to broaden your knowledge. Join us as we explore psychedelics, their effects on the brain and body, the function they have in different cultures, and the role they play in human evolution past, present, and *hypothetical* futures. We meet weekly at Victoria University to discuss psychedelic research and ethical practices, and host social events throughout the year. SAPI warmly welcomes students and non-students to join.
Ticket link here: https://events.humanitix.com/fantastic-fungi-movie-night Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/960870642346792/
Contact: [sapivuw@gmail.com](mailto:sapivuw@gmail.com) Link to Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/sapivuw/

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We employed a builder to do a set scope of works within our kitchen. Since day 1 of being onsite he has been trying to charge us extra and eke as much out of us as he can.
We have clearly detailed what materials we are providing (a breakdown of all second fix items) and that he is to provide building materials. He has now said that these building materials don’t include lintels and door frames but he will include the pipes to the boiler as a ‘gesture of goodwill’.
We also had in the quote ‘making good and prime coat to kitchen and utility room’. He states that this doesn’t include the whole kitchen and utility room and keeps trying to charge extra for various making good works.
His latest one is that we have included the ‘removal of WC extension and rebuilding of rear wall’. He has built a block work wall and is now trying to charge us extra to finish the wall to roof detail to a building regs compliant standard. He has currently left it as literally a block work wall up to but not touching the roof.
While he’s trying to get us to stump up more cash he’s also telling his builders half the scope and expecting them to give him lots of freebies. They’ve therefore not allowed enough time on the job. He has also not paid his guys despite us paying him upfront to the extent where they don’t have the money for sand and cement and have walked offsite. We’ve been totally clear from day 1 that sticking to programme is of utmost importance to us (I am 8 months pregnant).
There is a huge gulf between what we have paid him and what we know he is paying his subcontractors, so he is making thousands for his ‘project management’ role which has amounted to absolutely no work - he never answers his phone / hasn’t been onsite once- beyond causing problems and delays and demanding more money for what has already been quoted for.
We really do need the work finished as currently the entire back of our house is open and we have no kitchen with a baby arriving in 4 weeks, so he has us over a barrel to some extent. What is the best route forward?

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I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
​
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
​
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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