How to respond to people are leaving their work
Painting
2008.06.12 21:12 Painting
Welcome to /Painting! Functioning like an artist cooperative gallery, this is the place where beginning to advanced painters display their work in an ongoing group discussion. Artists who post their work are strongly encouraged to interact with their fellow subscribers and be prepared to discuss their concept, process & technique.
2013.01.30 07:21 IIHURRlCANEII For .gifs that provide knowledge!
Gifs are great at getting quick to digest info, and /educationalgifs strives to give you educational info in this quick to digest format. From chemical processes, to how plants work, to how machines work, /educationalgifs will explain many processes in the quick to see format of gifs.
2013.08.14 15:08 andreasw Antiwork: Unemployment for all, not just the rich!
A subreddit for those who want to end work, are curious about ending work, want to get the most out of a work-free life, want more information on anti-work ideas and want personal help with their own jobs/work-related struggles.
2024.05.15 17:04 okiwent1 25M, Self Service Developer
 | 25M, Self Service Developer submitted by okiwent1 to Salary [link] [comments] 2017 - Worked at a local hospital, went to school. Had to leave due to onset of seizures. 2018 - Went back working at the hospital, moved to a different department, make $15.50 an hour. 2019 - Got EMT-B license, moved onto a local company, went full time at a community college while still living at home. 2020 - Transferred to a state college, 3 months in COVID happened. Lived in my grandparents home while I finished up my semester. Worked on a COVID response team then some testing centers with my EMS company. Was PERDIEM and could p/u whatever hours as long as I fulfilled 32-hours a month. I would work 32 hours in one week at the ending of one month, then the beginning of the other. Then I would have 5 weeks off. No bills, responsibilities. Spent my time playing World of Warcraft 16+ hours a day. Most depressed I'd ever been in my life. 2021 - Was able to move back to school and work in the testing center. By doing this, I received free housing (a 1B1Bath townhouse) along with 3 free meals a day as well as free parking. I did not have a roommate. The only thing I needed to do was take a minimum of 6 credits during the regular semester. This lasted until the summer of 2022. Met a lot of great people and made some connections that would help me out later on. I also started working in the ER at a local hospital as well as a local EMS company. 2022 - Didn't continue taking college classes. Continued working at a local hospital, this time they were offering bonus ($25/hr) on top of my regular pay for any shifts that you picked up. The thing is, I was per-diem, so every shift I worked was a p/u shift. I HATED this job. I was so miserable. I would start work at 0300 and end at 1900 4 days a week. I would then (once a week) work my overnight shift at the local EMS company. I started looking for another job, and eventually found and landed one at a medical startup in the summer of 2022. It was originally a hybrid position but if you worked overtime ( I always worked overtime) you could work from home. Left the hospital in the fall and the EMS company in the winter of 2022. 2023 - Continued working at the startup, I was promoted within 6 months, switched to a different shift, and became fully remote. Worked on countless projects and helped provide a unique perspective from my past experiences. Also worked very closely with our customers and their clinical teams and grew my relationships with them significantly. 2024 - I landed a job (developer with low code/ no code application) in our product division. Switched from an hourly to salary position. I'm on track to make about $90,000 this year. I didn't really enjoy working all of those hours to make what I did in 2023 and wanted a change. This new position has opened me up to a whole new world. I'm learning so many valuable lessons within product development, coding/programming, development, IT, etc. I really hope this new position helps me learn as much as possible and be able to work on more intense projects, and hopefully help me land a higher position. I now live with my girlfriend in a MCOL area. I haven’t gone back to college. I was almost a Junior with the amount of credits I had, but I needed to get out of my living situation after I moved from the free housing the school offered. I don't really know what my plan is but I really would like to hold a degree one day. Currently, I am focused on learning everything I possible can within this new position and am trying to be part of as many different projects as possible. I have a great support system now, amazing mentors, new friends and a better outlook on life. I will never forget how miserable I was back in 2021, and will always use that as a reason to keep trying and moving forward. It's amazing to look back and see just how far I've come even without a degree. |
2024.05.15 17:03 felixerikaa I (22F) found out I’m not related to my dad (57M)
I’ve never been the best storyteller, so bare with. TLDR is at the bottom for people who want to get it over with.
I (22F) had a decent upbringing, both parents (57M and 52F) present, a roof over my head, food on the table, private education, etc etc those things can be ticked off. But inside the house those family dynamics were always pretty strained from my earliest memories. With both parents having their fair share of trauma, it had to carry into their kids’ lives somehow. The untreated mental health from a young age, lack of self-awareness/accountability, both parents turning a blind eye to the easy signs that your kid’s a little fucked in the head definitely wasn’t on the agenda of family things to discuss at the dinner table.
My parents were and are very much in love, you’d see the unity between them instantly. And they got together quite late for their generation, generally speaking - late 20s and early 30s. And so, it’s always been the story that I’ve been told and as far as anyone else in our extended family was concerned: my parents met, fell in love hard and fast, had me, my mum moved countries for my dad when he got a new job, and shortly got married after. Ironic given I grew up catholic so the whole ‘having a child out of wedlock is forbidden and a gateway to hell’ was confusing when you know this their story for me off by heart.
Growing up, I never looked like my dad. I need to preface I’m mixed - mum’s Asian and dad’s stereotypical white man from the UK. I know how genetics work, had a pretty good grasp of the concept when I was younger. Now it’s things like, I don’t have my dad’s nose, his hair, his face shape, I just looked like my mum and some distorted other features I could never see my dad when I looked in the mirror. As a kid, they just explained as genes and that my mum’s was stronger so I just ended up looking exactly like her and I just ended up with my dad’s small ears (Please, I cannot believe I was so gullible to think that the only thing I got from my dad was his goddamn ears). I just never questioned the lack of my dad in me when I looked at myself, why would my parents lie about that? Also, I never had a reason growing up to care about whether I looked like my dad. There were a lot of mixed kids like me in my area so it was a similar boat and I had somewhat (and I say this lightly) of a support system to reassure me that this is all normal.
But there gets to an age where you feel things shift, and society is perceiving you a type of way now, the mixed kids identity crisis, the lack of belonging and blah blah blach. But my parents wouldn’t lie to me? Sure, they’ve fucked up in a few areas of parenting and let me down as an individual, but it’s fine because therapy, because life lessons of knowing that parents fuck up and you can forgive them or not. But back to the point, this is my parentage - they wouldn’t lie, right?
When this came about, I was on pretty okay terms with my parents. I had left a family holiday that I was on with them a bit earlier due to work, so they were still on holiday when I got the message. A few days after landing, I was in the gym minding my business and doom-scrolling. Alas, I’ll check LinkedIn. Check the requests from non-connections. And here this mother-bald headed-fucker was - this massive spiel of ‘I miss you’, ‘I haven’t stopped trying to see you’ and one fucking Darth Vader move later, “felixerikaa, I’m your father”.
There it is, asked the guy a few questions. Security questions like he’s at a fucking bank, if you will. And everything checks out, what he knows, how he knows, and what the guy looks like. Here I thought I was my mother’s daughter, but I am my bio dad’s daughter through and through - in appearance only personality, we’ll never know. My parents are none the wiser of this guy reaching out, so imagine their surprise when I’m sat on FaceTime with them when they’re 3000miles away and I’m trying to find out if this guy is legit. And after being iced out for the rest of their holiday, I get a “Yes, he is! But he isn’t your dad, he’s not the one that raised you so it doesn’t matter”.
And she’s right. It doesn’t matter.
I don’t know how to end this but to the curious folks that want to know what happened after, not much, I blocked bio dad. And I’ve been slowly working on a fruitful relationship with my parents, the ones that have been there since day 1.
TLDR: Had a late night gym sesh with my bestie, got a few messages from some bald guy on LinkedIn claiming he knows me, misses me and he’s my dad. Ask my parents, to confirm it’s real. It is. Blocked.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
submitted by felixerikaa to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I (22F) had a decent upbringing, both parents (57M and 52F) present, a roof over my head, food on the table, private education, etc etc those things can be ticked off. But inside the house those family dynamics were always pretty strained from my earliest memories. With both parents having their fair share of trauma, it had to carry into their kids’ lives somehow. The untreated mental health from a young age, lack of self-awareness/accountability, both parents turning a blind eye to the easy signs that your kid’s a little fucked in the head definitely wasn’t on the agenda of family things to discuss at the dinner table.
My parents were and are very much in love, you’d see the unity between them instantly. And they got together quite late for their generation, generally speaking - late 20s and early 30s. And so, it’s always been the story that I’ve been told and as far as anyone else in our extended family was concerned: my parents met, fell in love hard and fast, had me, my mum moved countries for my dad when he got a new job, and shortly got married after. Ironic given I grew up catholic so the whole ‘having a child out of wedlock is forbidden and a gateway to hell’ was confusing when you know this their story for me off by heart.
Growing up, I never looked like my dad. I need to preface I’m mixed - mum’s Asian and dad’s stereotypical white man from the UK. I know how genetics work, had a pretty good grasp of the concept when I was younger. Now it’s things like, I don’t have my dad’s nose, his hair, his face shape, I just looked like my mum and some distorted other features I could never see my dad when I looked in the mirror. As a kid, they just explained as genes and that my mum’s was stronger so I just ended up looking exactly like her and I just ended up with my dad’s small ears (Please, I cannot believe I was so gullible to think that the only thing I got from my dad was his goddamn ears). I just never questioned the lack of my dad in me when I looked at myself, why would my parents lie about that? Also, I never had a reason growing up to care about whether I looked like my dad. There were a lot of mixed kids like me in my area so it was a similar boat and I had somewhat (and I say this lightly) of a support system to reassure me that this is all normal.
But there gets to an age where you feel things shift, and society is perceiving you a type of way now, the mixed kids identity crisis, the lack of belonging and blah blah blach. But my parents wouldn’t lie to me? Sure, they’ve fucked up in a few areas of parenting and let me down as an individual, but it’s fine because therapy, because life lessons of knowing that parents fuck up and you can forgive them or not. But back to the point, this is my parentage - they wouldn’t lie, right?
When this came about, I was on pretty okay terms with my parents. I had left a family holiday that I was on with them a bit earlier due to work, so they were still on holiday when I got the message. A few days after landing, I was in the gym minding my business and doom-scrolling. Alas, I’ll check LinkedIn. Check the requests from non-connections. And here this mother-bald headed-fucker was - this massive spiel of ‘I miss you’, ‘I haven’t stopped trying to see you’ and one fucking Darth Vader move later, “felixerikaa, I’m your father”.
There it is, asked the guy a few questions. Security questions like he’s at a fucking bank, if you will. And everything checks out, what he knows, how he knows, and what the guy looks like. Here I thought I was my mother’s daughter, but I am my bio dad’s daughter through and through - in appearance only personality, we’ll never know. My parents are none the wiser of this guy reaching out, so imagine their surprise when I’m sat on FaceTime with them when they’re 3000miles away and I’m trying to find out if this guy is legit. And after being iced out for the rest of their holiday, I get a “Yes, he is! But he isn’t your dad, he’s not the one that raised you so it doesn’t matter”.
And she’s right. It doesn’t matter.
I don’t know how to end this but to the curious folks that want to know what happened after, not much, I blocked bio dad. And I’ve been slowly working on a fruitful relationship with my parents, the ones that have been there since day 1.
TLDR: Had a late night gym sesh with my bestie, got a few messages from some bald guy on LinkedIn claiming he knows me, misses me and he’s my dad. Ask my parents, to confirm it’s real. It is. Blocked.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
2024.05.15 17:02 suicidalpeonies AITA for wanting to kick my friend out of our house over pumpkin seeds?
Honorable Judge Charlotte, please hand down your judgement. Buckle up because it’s a lil long!
So I (24f) bought a house with my fiancée (also 24f) just a few months ago. The biggest reason I love the house is its front garden, which is full of my all time favorite flowers, and it was so breathtaking in the summer photos that I was determined to have it.
We moved in with a few friends, B (24f), Alice (26f), and C (21m), because we had the room for them and wanted them to have a lease-less place to live until they find their own places, whenever that would be.
(Payment context: Alice, B, and C pay us to essentially rent their bedrooms, paying only $400 a month while my fiancée and i each pay about $1200 in bills. They did not sign any lease or rent agreement. No one besides my fiancée and I are on the title of the house, and just the two of us made the down payment. Everyone could move out tomorrow and my fiancée and I would be fine.)
We had all lived with each other in the past, and had great communication and became very close friends. Like, make dinner together, watch shows together, smoke and talk for hours every other night kind of close friends.
For context, Alice has 2 pets, with specific diets and meal times. Other people in the house also have pets, but it’s unimportant to this. We have a group chat for stuff related to our house or pets (having people over, working late so someone needs to feed their pet, etc) that we were really good at using to update each other and send pet pics.
But not long after we moved into the house, Alice started dating someone new, who we’ll call Gf. Alice starts spending every day with Gf, not responding to messages from me or other roommates when we ask whether her pets have been fed, and bringing Gf over all the time to hang out, but just the two of them.
All the time she spent with us went away, which was shocking, considering several of us are in relationships, but can still find time for friends. I wouldn’t have had a problem with this, if I didn’t also notice her pets getting sick more frequently, behaving abnormally, and acting yknow, abandoned.
I tried texting her about it, because i had no clue when I’d see her next. She responded defensively when I brought up her caring for her pets, and not want to discuss it further, but the behavior never changed.
Because of this, me and the others picked up the slack to take care of her pets, but it’s so exhausting because it is obvious that the pets still just really miss her. It basically feels like she moved out, but uses our house as a pit stop.
She doesn’t buy food or communal supplies like toilet paper, but will randomly come home a few times a week, shower, eat someone else’s food, and either go to pick up Gf or to hang out at Gf’s place. We will only know that’s she’s stopped by recently by seeing her clothes thrown around the dining room, extra clutter of her mail and purses in the living room, and extra dishes in the sink, never the dishwasher right fucking next to it.
My fiancee, B, and C brought up their frustrations to me about this, but I brushed them off, saying it’s fine and we’re all learning how to be adults in our weird setup. I wanted to give her grace. But the thing that made me freak out happened today.
I enter the living room to see Alice with one of our mutual friends. I say hi and walk past, and Alice continues talking to the friend. She starts telling them about the pumpkins she planted in the front garden.
I kinda freeze when she says it. The front garden is full of gorgeous perennials, regrowing each year, meticulously planted by the previous owners (who were extremely gracious to us during the purchase process- we respect them a lot) and she Planted. Pumpkins?
Literally the biggest fucking things you can grow, that sprouts from long, creeping vines that can choke out other plants? Pumpkins. Without telling me or my fiancée.
I turn back and reenter the conversation, and ask her where she planted them, smiling for an honest answer. She says she scattered them across the garden, and labeled none of them. I say ok, and leave them to their talk. I draft a text to my fiancee about the situation, but decide that maybe it’s not that big a deal.
Later I’m in the same living room catching up with an old friend who was in town, talking about the house and garden as it was their first visit, and Alice walks past the window we’re sitting by, with a potted tree. My friend quietly asks me what the fuck she’s doing with a tree, when a huge reason why we moved here was the landscaping already being sufficient.
I didn’t even know what to say, I just started to cry. The combo of her planting the pumpkin seeds without even Mentioning it to any of us, ESPECIALLY my fiancée and I, and bringing a tree to plant in OUR YARD just felt so disrespectful when she can’t even come home to take care of her pets.
I altered and sent the drafted text to my fiancée to get her opinion on it. I also told B and C about it after my friend left, and they’re on my side, but they think this will be fixed with just “a talk.”
My fiancée is also on my side, but is beyond furious and wants to just kick her out. So I lay in bed crying, feeling like I’ve been deeply wronged over unsent text messages and unasked for pumpkin seeds, like a dumbass.
I’m scared that the pumpkin vines will choke out the beautiful garden the previous owners worked so hard on, and that i adore so much. Honestly, I am equally, if not more scared that I am soon going to watch her pets die of a broken heart.
Everything feels like the wrong choice and I’m so overwhelmed. Am I the asshole for wanting to kick my friend out of my house over pumpkin seeds?
TL;DR: A roommate started neglecting their pets, then planted pumpkins in a flower bed without asking (Fiancee & I own the house).
submitted by suicidalpeonies to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
So I (24f) bought a house with my fiancée (also 24f) just a few months ago. The biggest reason I love the house is its front garden, which is full of my all time favorite flowers, and it was so breathtaking in the summer photos that I was determined to have it.
We moved in with a few friends, B (24f), Alice (26f), and C (21m), because we had the room for them and wanted them to have a lease-less place to live until they find their own places, whenever that would be.
(Payment context: Alice, B, and C pay us to essentially rent their bedrooms, paying only $400 a month while my fiancée and i each pay about $1200 in bills. They did not sign any lease or rent agreement. No one besides my fiancée and I are on the title of the house, and just the two of us made the down payment. Everyone could move out tomorrow and my fiancée and I would be fine.)
We had all lived with each other in the past, and had great communication and became very close friends. Like, make dinner together, watch shows together, smoke and talk for hours every other night kind of close friends.
For context, Alice has 2 pets, with specific diets and meal times. Other people in the house also have pets, but it’s unimportant to this. We have a group chat for stuff related to our house or pets (having people over, working late so someone needs to feed their pet, etc) that we were really good at using to update each other and send pet pics.
But not long after we moved into the house, Alice started dating someone new, who we’ll call Gf. Alice starts spending every day with Gf, not responding to messages from me or other roommates when we ask whether her pets have been fed, and bringing Gf over all the time to hang out, but just the two of them.
All the time she spent with us went away, which was shocking, considering several of us are in relationships, but can still find time for friends. I wouldn’t have had a problem with this, if I didn’t also notice her pets getting sick more frequently, behaving abnormally, and acting yknow, abandoned.
I tried texting her about it, because i had no clue when I’d see her next. She responded defensively when I brought up her caring for her pets, and not want to discuss it further, but the behavior never changed.
Because of this, me and the others picked up the slack to take care of her pets, but it’s so exhausting because it is obvious that the pets still just really miss her. It basically feels like she moved out, but uses our house as a pit stop.
She doesn’t buy food or communal supplies like toilet paper, but will randomly come home a few times a week, shower, eat someone else’s food, and either go to pick up Gf or to hang out at Gf’s place. We will only know that’s she’s stopped by recently by seeing her clothes thrown around the dining room, extra clutter of her mail and purses in the living room, and extra dishes in the sink, never the dishwasher right fucking next to it.
My fiancee, B, and C brought up their frustrations to me about this, but I brushed them off, saying it’s fine and we’re all learning how to be adults in our weird setup. I wanted to give her grace. But the thing that made me freak out happened today.
I enter the living room to see Alice with one of our mutual friends. I say hi and walk past, and Alice continues talking to the friend. She starts telling them about the pumpkins she planted in the front garden.
I kinda freeze when she says it. The front garden is full of gorgeous perennials, regrowing each year, meticulously planted by the previous owners (who were extremely gracious to us during the purchase process- we respect them a lot) and she Planted. Pumpkins?
Literally the biggest fucking things you can grow, that sprouts from long, creeping vines that can choke out other plants? Pumpkins. Without telling me or my fiancée.
I turn back and reenter the conversation, and ask her where she planted them, smiling for an honest answer. She says she scattered them across the garden, and labeled none of them. I say ok, and leave them to their talk. I draft a text to my fiancee about the situation, but decide that maybe it’s not that big a deal.
Later I’m in the same living room catching up with an old friend who was in town, talking about the house and garden as it was their first visit, and Alice walks past the window we’re sitting by, with a potted tree. My friend quietly asks me what the fuck she’s doing with a tree, when a huge reason why we moved here was the landscaping already being sufficient.
I didn’t even know what to say, I just started to cry. The combo of her planting the pumpkin seeds without even Mentioning it to any of us, ESPECIALLY my fiancée and I, and bringing a tree to plant in OUR YARD just felt so disrespectful when she can’t even come home to take care of her pets.
I altered and sent the drafted text to my fiancée to get her opinion on it. I also told B and C about it after my friend left, and they’re on my side, but they think this will be fixed with just “a talk.”
My fiancée is also on my side, but is beyond furious and wants to just kick her out. So I lay in bed crying, feeling like I’ve been deeply wronged over unsent text messages and unasked for pumpkin seeds, like a dumbass.
I’m scared that the pumpkin vines will choke out the beautiful garden the previous owners worked so hard on, and that i adore so much. Honestly, I am equally, if not more scared that I am soon going to watch her pets die of a broken heart.
Everything feels like the wrong choice and I’m so overwhelmed. Am I the asshole for wanting to kick my friend out of my house over pumpkin seeds?
TL;DR: A roommate started neglecting their pets, then planted pumpkins in a flower bed without asking (Fiancee & I own the house).
2024.05.15 17:02 invah The stories we learn from our caregivers become the simplified strategies we use to see the world and ourselves
They become shortcuts to our self-concept that are hard to shake for two reasons.
The first is because they’re so readily accessible.
We are likely to quickly classify ourselves as being less capable, less worthy, or less lovable than others just because these thoughts have been with us and percolating for some time.
The second reason has to do with the brain’s self-confirmation bias.
...our brains prefer confirming an existing belief—even when it’s negative—to create a new one, so we are less likely to entertain a new idea or a new action that will change how we think about ourselves. We may even unconsciously seek evidence to cement these existing unproductive beliefs further. The influence of our self-concept goes beyond how we think about ourselves and impacts how we relate to others.
People with insecure attachment styles and, relatedly, negative self-concepts develop problematic attachment scripts
...which are rigid, inflexible rules about how they should respond to different situations and people in their lives. When these scripts are followed, they create the disappointing results they’ve come to expect.
Your negative self-talk reflects the unmet needs and unhealed wounds of that metaphorical little you that lives inside all of us.
Reparenting, or the conscious act of providing ourselves with the consistent care and understanding we may have missed as children, is the most important tool you have to create healthier thoughts and behavior patterns.
People with secure attachment tend to be equipped with more balanced and realistic self-talk that acknowledges the challenges they encounter in life while also establishing a firm self-belief in their ability to meet those challenges head-on.
Try adopting the self-talk of the securely attached by selecting one of the following statements as your self-affirmation today.
submitted by invah to AbuseInterrupted [link] [comments]
The first is because they’re so readily accessible.
We are likely to quickly classify ourselves as being less capable, less worthy, or less lovable than others just because these thoughts have been with us and percolating for some time.
The second reason has to do with the brain’s self-confirmation bias.
...our brains prefer confirming an existing belief—even when it’s negative—to create a new one, so we are less likely to entertain a new idea or a new action that will change how we think about ourselves. We may even unconsciously seek evidence to cement these existing unproductive beliefs further. The influence of our self-concept goes beyond how we think about ourselves and impacts how we relate to others.
People with insecure attachment styles and, relatedly, negative self-concepts develop problematic attachment scripts
...which are rigid, inflexible rules about how they should respond to different situations and people in their lives. When these scripts are followed, they create the disappointing results they’ve come to expect.
Your negative self-talk reflects the unmet needs and unhealed wounds of that metaphorical little you that lives inside all of us.
Reparenting, or the conscious act of providing ourselves with the consistent care and understanding we may have missed as children, is the most important tool you have to create healthier thoughts and behavior patterns.
People with secure attachment tend to be equipped with more balanced and realistic self-talk that acknowledges the challenges they encounter in life while also establishing a firm self-belief in their ability to meet those challenges head-on.
Try adopting the self-talk of the securely attached by selecting one of the following statements as your self-affirmation today.
I believe in and like myself. I can handle what comes my way. I can effect positive outcomes in my life. I can be independent and rely on others, too.-Judy Ho, excerpted from How to Quiet Our Negative Self-Talk
2024.05.15 17:02 plinkert Quality of life while waiting for my first consultation visit
I’m always in some amount of pain with this fistula. I sit on a heating pad to drain the pus when the abscess gets hard and painful. I take ibuprofen. I was prescribed a topical cream that does nothing. I was on antibiotics for a week too. Some days the pain is excruciating, others it’s tolerable but distracting. My consultation is in June. I have to do two Fleet enemas the morning of my consultation and I’ve never done one before, so I’m a little anxious about it.
It starts to get to you after awhile, always being in pain. It affects your attitude and your self esteem, especially when you can’t just tell someone what the problem is because you’re embarrassed to admit to having an anal abscess and fistula. It’s gross and there’s no delicate way to explain to someone at work that you have to sit for a bit (on the heating pad) because “your butt hurts”. The night sweats leave you exhausted because you woke up drenched and sticky, but there’s no time to take a shower before work. You look haggard and pale. You have to wear a pad or gauze in your pants (like a diaper) because of the drainage so you hate walking around. You can’t take an LOA from work because those are unpaid. You’re exhausted from waking up sweating or struggling to sleep because of random stabbing pain. You’re becoming more and more depressed, emotionally volatile because of it all. You don’t even want to eat because food means digestion, digestion means going to the bathroom, and going to the bathroom can hurt so so bad.
I’ve been dealing with this for years due to being misdiagnosed over and over until my current GP saw it. Of course, it wasn’t an extra hole until recently. It was just agony and blood, like I was sitting on a knife, for a long time. It would come and go, always hurting but not always agonizing. I dreaded long car rides. I had to tell people I preferred to stand when I actually really needed to sit. That was before I knew what it was, so I thought standing was the best thing I could do. Now I just need to sit on a heating pad, but I work a job where I am often needed to walk around a huge warehouse. I can feel the abscess rubbing when it flares up during those times. I have to pause and take a breath. I usually tell people I have a bruised tailbone from a fall to explain why I am sitting on a heating pad and walk funny.
I was almost late for work today because of the bathroom. Blood and pus. Pain. I don’t know what else can be done for me until the consultation and I’m not sure how to broach the subject with my GP when I have an appointment coming up. It feels so far away.
As painful as large hard stools are, I prefer them to the soft mushy ones. The soft ones seem to make it worse. It’s almost like the soft ones push into whatever channel is open down there and fester. So the hard ones may make me bleed but I’m less likely to have an abscess grow from them. I don’t even know what I can eat. Diarrhea makes it so much worse, like the diarrhea is getting into the channel. And while it can be mostly pus, with some blood, sometimes it’s just this clear viscous liquid.
I’m not a religious person but I admit to praying for this to be fixed soon. I am so depressed. So tired. This pain may be mild at points but it’s all day every day.
Did anyone else suffer a lot and then feel way better after it was treated?
submitted by plinkert to AnalFistula [link] [comments]
It starts to get to you after awhile, always being in pain. It affects your attitude and your self esteem, especially when you can’t just tell someone what the problem is because you’re embarrassed to admit to having an anal abscess and fistula. It’s gross and there’s no delicate way to explain to someone at work that you have to sit for a bit (on the heating pad) because “your butt hurts”. The night sweats leave you exhausted because you woke up drenched and sticky, but there’s no time to take a shower before work. You look haggard and pale. You have to wear a pad or gauze in your pants (like a diaper) because of the drainage so you hate walking around. You can’t take an LOA from work because those are unpaid. You’re exhausted from waking up sweating or struggling to sleep because of random stabbing pain. You’re becoming more and more depressed, emotionally volatile because of it all. You don’t even want to eat because food means digestion, digestion means going to the bathroom, and going to the bathroom can hurt so so bad.
I’ve been dealing with this for years due to being misdiagnosed over and over until my current GP saw it. Of course, it wasn’t an extra hole until recently. It was just agony and blood, like I was sitting on a knife, for a long time. It would come and go, always hurting but not always agonizing. I dreaded long car rides. I had to tell people I preferred to stand when I actually really needed to sit. That was before I knew what it was, so I thought standing was the best thing I could do. Now I just need to sit on a heating pad, but I work a job where I am often needed to walk around a huge warehouse. I can feel the abscess rubbing when it flares up during those times. I have to pause and take a breath. I usually tell people I have a bruised tailbone from a fall to explain why I am sitting on a heating pad and walk funny.
I was almost late for work today because of the bathroom. Blood and pus. Pain. I don’t know what else can be done for me until the consultation and I’m not sure how to broach the subject with my GP when I have an appointment coming up. It feels so far away.
As painful as large hard stools are, I prefer them to the soft mushy ones. The soft ones seem to make it worse. It’s almost like the soft ones push into whatever channel is open down there and fester. So the hard ones may make me bleed but I’m less likely to have an abscess grow from them. I don’t even know what I can eat. Diarrhea makes it so much worse, like the diarrhea is getting into the channel. And while it can be mostly pus, with some blood, sometimes it’s just this clear viscous liquid.
I’m not a religious person but I admit to praying for this to be fixed soon. I am so depressed. So tired. This pain may be mild at points but it’s all day every day.
Did anyone else suffer a lot and then feel way better after it was treated?
2024.05.15 17:02 Ok_Barnacle3329 9709 p12 le@k update
 | 9709 12 was le@kedd in pakistan, Bahrain, Ghana, Qatar, Uae. it was circulated everywhere through a source in Uae. pakistan was not the only country who get p12 le@kk. other countries had it as well. people from these countries are claiming to get 75/75 this will increase the threshold and be unfair for us. everyone please email cambridge and send them these screenshots. one screenshot shows how it was sent a whole day before the exam. it was le@kedd throughout the zone. it is unfair to everyone who worked hard. pakistans beaconhouse got it from a source in Uae. it was le@kedd everywhere and so everyone deserves a retake. email cambridge about this and attach the screenshots as proof. email: info@cambridgeinternational.org cambridge has not released any statement and they will not do anything unless we all email them. they put a post on facebook which only pakistan could see. THE PAPER WAS LE@kedd everywhere not only in pakistan. please being this to their attention so we can all get a fair grade. (IT WAS LE@ked in Qatar and Uae 1 day before the exam.) please upvote to for awareness info@cambridgeinternational.org submitted by Ok_Barnacle3329 to alevelmaths [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 17:01 AmphibianFluid6425 video idea for hbomber guy (triggerwarning nazi propaganda, racism and lies)
 | tldr: Robert sepehr a fake anthropologist but real nazi (not an actual anthropologist just a undergrade diploma but he pretend he is ) lies and spread misinformation on on human anthropology to spread nazi racist propaganda. He is getting massive amount of engagement and influence on youtube and X , much more than any real anthropologist on these platforms. all of it for money. submitted by AmphibianFluid6425 to hbomberguy [link] [comments] First of all sorry for the lingustic mistakes i'm not an english native and i'm still learning, it may be a little difficult but it's worth the shot i promise. I hope Hbomberguy see this, because it's actual fucking scary what's happening right now, and I belive it need coverage, It would be for the public good and it is really fitting for Hbomb type of video. This make me think a lot about a mix between the the Tommy tallarico case, and the vaxin lying guy, but you had nazi and racism in it. It spreading a lot, I see all the time people on linking his videos taking it as face values, under scientific posts. Making racist memes with tens of thousands of likes from his "researches" (he never conducted any scientific research in his life, made it up by twisting other people studies to fit his eurocentrist narrative; and every single anthropologist think he is a clown) https://preview.redd.it/00l8n159vl0d1.png?width=1440&format=png&auto=webp&s=27ba8d4b7a599ae5e196a0e25b8054c7a15fb939 All these people take their sources directly from sepehr, these "studies do not exist anywhere" You can find why it's an obvious lie, because homo erectus and habilis didnt even coexist with what is today consider as the subsarian african group. 'black people" only apeared 55K years ago when human group diverged, before that every human race were the same. and homo abilis and erectus respectively disapeared 120k years and 1.6 millions years ago. matematically they didnt even live together. No studies worldwide ever said that. if there was breeding it's likely with an nehandertal and denisovans equivalent just like how europeans asian and middle east did. https://preview.redd.it/ag2dh2tnsl0d1.png?width=714&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1fe4c0804e2501f9bfc36ff1829505c9f4ec1fd I will explain all I know. Robert sepehr is a far right neo nazi youtuber, making content which sole purpose is to promote a certain white supremacy agenda, and denigrate non white and particularly african people. https://preview.redd.it/io1xg9cx4l0d1.png?width=1822&format=png&auto=webp&s=4907ee9bb31acaf1a31b63acaa3e78dd1a17bbd5 don't belive me on the neo-nazi part? just a regular racist? he also have a book company, here is his book company logo and comparision to something else, he also use the term aryan a lot in either his book and videos, and have a lot of respect and talk about nazis a lot. https://preview.redd.it/mj5qhmj66l0d1.png?width=1440&format=png&auto=webp&s=32fb6edc24875d34acf92b508539d6c875e8c76b His business model is pretty simple, he start a video with a certain goal, and he use documentaries, books, researches papers, and butcher it, lies and use fake evidences to fit a racist narrative he premaid. The most notorious exemple of him, is his videos on the out of africa model, The out of africa theory state that all current human life came from africa, and we all descent from a group of individual residing there around 100k years ago, and spread trough the planet afterward trough migrations. https://preview.redd.it/d43kdkmt7l0d1.png?width=2493&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e75c6c210dfa917b039ade5f2b6ac30f3602b2a In the scientifical world there is no debat around this, this is an evidence. If we retrace our earliest common ancestor trough basically any means (dna, mithocondry, humanoid fossiles) it's pretty clear, and obvious, it's the bases of basically anything anthropology related. studied in universities, every single map, researchs papers use it. It's like the pytaghore theorem for math but in anthropology. The neo nazis AND sepehr despise this theory. It would mean that africa is the mother continent, and 100k years ago we were all "black" with dark skin and kinky hair, white skin is a mutation that happenned later on. I can't exactly comprehend why but cognitively they can't accept it, if you say to a 4chan chud that we all came from africa and are all brothers he will freak out try to kill you, and link you to a sepehr video. Robert has made many videos on the subject which are all filled with lies. His theory, is that humans all came from a superior aryan race with blond hair and blue eyes from atlantis, (atlantis dont exist) 40k years ago, and spread trough the world to share their aryan dna, a section of them spreaded in africa and breeded with primitive archaic monkey like species like homo erectus and habilis creating an hybrid specy which are now current sub saharian people. (which he consider to be a primitive inferior race), and stayed relatively pure for europe and had a little nehandertal admixture. I barely exagerated. this is what he belive resumated, this sound ridiculous, but his strategy is to spread it out on an hour long video, filling it with modified sources and lies to convince you. none of it is true, and his following are loving it. https://preview.redd.it/1cgr7evccl0d1.png?width=1644&format=png&auto=webp&s=1b09d1c62f1972d84ab7ee4b81b8864e6aa2aea4 https://preview.redd.it/mw4qw2nicl0d1.png?width=1660&format=png&auto=webp&s=b0b6081ad1bee019596150781656e7630b0b839a To make it clear this is all bullshit, it's not based on anything, there isnt a single scientific proof, fossils, research paper backing him up, and there is overwhelming amount of evidence disproving him. he made it all up. and you say this to an actual antropologist he will laugh to your face. But to a neo nazi and insecure white people this is a goldmine. And real antropologists knows it, he is a scammer. there is Tons of videos debunking him online from real proffesionals, i encourage you to go watch them. https://preview.redd.it/1f4aehlehl0d1.png?width=1292&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1afb0a65a50a7a325002870d02deee1690acaf1 First thing first, Atlantis doesnt exist. second white skin, blue eyes and blond hair are a human mutations that all happenned les than 20k years ago https://preview.redd.it/x3qii5pjdl0d1.png?width=775&format=png&auto=webp&s=54d7fb06dde80a57251fdf1fd37ccae63b04e534 It's just phisically impossible for an aryan race to exist and spread their genes trough the planet. hundred of thousands of years ago if these features happenned 50k years later. Third even if his "superior aryan" race existed It's impossible for them to breed with the monkey like specy like he said homo erectus, and homo habilis because these species didnt coexist with black people, they were extinct way before the black and white "race" diverged either in his fictional scenario, or in real life. https://preview.redd.it/a2pq94agil0d1.png?width=723&format=png&auto=webp&s=5038f3b5fe7373454d83fafe5454a777df434dfc https://preview.redd.it/gz3a5rt7il0d1.png?width=803&format=png&auto=webp&s=16b76c2b03ee69e776a7e792eb4e7812eb7ab55e https://preview.redd.it/1vflalkyhl0d1.png?width=1217&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8ea79319b6d9cd7d2b28fbe79c270d1ac3e404a What's making this even funnier is that the real archeologist which he based his whole argumentary about saw his video, and the "source" completely disagree and thinks his videos are awful. So even his sources think he is a liar and retweet videos debunking him and calling him a scammer grifter. .NO anthropologists even right wing in the world belive this white nationalist crap. https://preview.redd.it/xa1dotucjl0d1.png?width=1642&format=png&auto=webp&s=62bff7dd40650c772f22b2cff10e7cd029acef96 https://preview.redd.it/vt1gtvqijl0d1.png?width=515&format=png&auto=webp&s=43535892780697bae428d8eccd20ff297b09cd2e He also run away from debate, he refuse to talk about his findings with any other antropologist, he jsut block them and run away. He litterallty blocked every single anthropologist on twitter, i'm not even jokinh. he have never ever had a debate with anyone. which should be normal if you tHInk you have made some great discovery on humanity. https://preview.redd.it/oyvmf2ksol0d1.png?width=610&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9f196bfd847c94a8376869dff7dee5a817a14c7 He also lie about history white washing it, the famous mansa musa richest man in existence at the head of the great mali empire, a black malian man, famous worldwide, described as a dark skin man from every books on him. along Sepehr, he is white european with blue eyes. because only white people can do good things., and blacks are inferior EVERYONE Knows it right. the jews have modified history to promote white erasure and afrocentrism and anti white racism. https://preview.redd.it/gndz9zxzjl0d1.png?width=1671&format=png&auto=webp&s=ad404d2350780fba7fdf136269dd4a913fa38b91 The king of axum, in ancient ethiopia who was the first to convert to christianism, and home to the oldest bible in the world, described as an ethiopian man phenotipically and in art. Along Sepehr he is an aryan white european man with blue eyes. the jews have modified history to promote white erasure and afrocentrism and anti white racism. https://preview.redd.it/blxskvefkl0d1.png?width=1825&format=png&auto=webp&s=d3a4d3ac823dee7c4ba592b0b3810bba8734715e The egyptians, recognized worldwide for their great contribution to history and humanity, along robert sepehr they werent black, they werent even egyptian but they were all white europeans with blue eyes, the slaves and servants were brown and black people. and the rulling cast were aryan with blond hair and blue eyes. the jews have modified history to promote white erasure and afrocentrism and anti white racism. https://preview.redd.it/fl6uiiprkl0d1.png?width=1764&format=png&auto=webp&s=2bc134b31a781e072cc8e1c733ade8fb6a8ce8d7 Ghengis kans, and all the other asian empires, you think they were asians? absolutely not, Along robert speehr they were white aryan with blue eyes, the jews have modified history to promote white erasure and afrocentrism and anti white racism. https://preview.redd.it/n3l6e2jbll0d1.png?width=1661&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c423a71c3c3da8a567baa0c6014a892a789ea4c And i can go on and on and on, all his videos are like that. Also he is not a real antropologist. he has no antropolgy degree whatsoever, he is a narcissist and if he had one he would flex it everyday Also, he is not a real anthropologist. He only holds a Bachelor of Arts. that's an undergraduate degree, he is no expert at all, this degreeprovides a broad, liberal arts education with a focus on, but it does not signify expertise or extensive research in the field. He has never conducted or published any legitimate studies in anthropology just lied on previously done studies, and his claims are not supported by a single scientific community in fact they laughing at him and criticising him, many have rejected his "work" due to its lack of credibility and scientific rigor. A true anthropologist engages in rigorous research, peer-reviewed publications, and contributes to the academic community, none of which he has done. Therefore, his degree does not qualify him to make authoritative statements on anthropology, nor claim to be an "anthropologist" especially when used to promote white supremacist views. His misuse of this degree to spread misinformation highlights his lack of qualifications and credibility in the field. https://preview.redd.it/5zrd00b9pl0d1.png?width=1332&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8a3cf64d3a54a384f9199cb93c1567db3138814 Also this business make him a lot of money, like tens of thousands a months and he is deliberately lying, for money, he know he is a liar he is . I'm tired of typing maybe i will elaborate on that further if someone ask me. I'm not as good for investigation as hbomberguy, he is a really smart and ingeniuous dude, I litterally googled stuffs and it was enough to debunk him, i'm sure HBOMB will find much much more than i do if he wants to. This man isnt alright. |
2024.05.15 17:01 WhiteHawkeReborn "What is your Headcanon about this?" Day 43: Renko Usami
Day guide
Welcome to Day 43 of WiyHat?. Today's topic is "Renko Usami", a University student studying the Super Unified Theory in the future "Outside World" Kyoto.
She's well known for being Maribel Hearn's close friend, being part of the Secret Sealing Club (SSC), and having some sort of connection to Sumireko Usami.
First, let's briefly recap her and Maribel's relationship: while Renko prefers to see thing objectively, Maribel believes subjectivity is actually more true or "real". Both of them are interested in the paranormal, however, so they actually see eye-to-eye more than expected. Their goal, as part of the SSC, is to investigate the possibility of "other worlds", which puts them on the trail to find Gensokyo, essentially.
Over the various Hifuu Albums (There's 11 released so far), they go through various short stories. While Renko has the superb ability to tell the exact time by looking at the stars\1) and exact location by looking at the moon, Maribel has the edge on her when it comes to visiting Gensokyo: she has the ability to see "boundaries", and can outright travel into other worlds in her dreams.
\1 In JST time only, specifically. So if she was in a PST timezone, she'd have to recalculate from the time she "sees" to get the actual time of the timezone she's in.)
Now, this is gonna be breaking my usual style, but I'm actually gonna delve into the fan reception of Renko before being done with the canon. This is because I want to point out right now that Renko's placement in the popularity poll is 41st, pretty good for a character that has only ever been in the Outside World. Meanwhile, Maribel, who seems to be the far more important character between the two because of her ability, is 54th. This 13 rank difference doesn't seem like that big of a deal...but Maribel was in 60th the year before, and if you compare those placements (Renko was 41st in 2022 as well), then the nearly 20 ranks of difference becomes a good deal more staggering for a pair of characters almost never separated.
Renko's much more likeable than Maribel despite being seemingly less important and less often depicted as sexy by fans (Maribel is often theorized as being Yukari, a character often drawn as very sexy, so fan artists often use that excuse that Maribel has to be a good deal sexy too, although not usually as much). How could this be?
Well, my personal theory is that it's because Renko's a great audience surrogate in the stories she participates in: she's the proactive one who deals with the aftermath of whatever happened (if anything) to Merry\2), who observes and describes the experience, or just plain is a great friend when she's not the POV character.
And this goes not just for canon works, but also fanworks: take the PHANTOM REPORT fan movie, a semi-parody of western films from the 2000's onward. Renko's basically the main character there, and her reacting to the nonsense as it unfolds feels far more relatable to most people than Merry's character portrayal.
\2 I don't want to make it sound like Merry is completely free of agency, but she ends up getting into trouble quite a few times and having difficulty "getting out of it" by herself. This is because she's the one who is usually "tasked" with doing "on-site investigations", while Renko searches for new materials.)
Essentially, what I want to get to here is that the reason Renko's probably more popular then Merry is that she feels more like a main character than her.
Well, either that, or her hat's just that much nicer. I'm also open to other theories as to why Renko's more popular too, I don't claim to be absolutely right on this.
Anyway, moving back to canon, I figured I'd cover what Renko does in the most recent story of Hifuu, though I will paraphrase/skip a few things: She searches for Merry, who she hadn't heard of for 2 weeks, by first ransacking her apartment. There, she finds a book given her a location to find her, strewn with numerous Jizo statues. Frustrated by Merry's ability to enter "otherworlds" with such ease, Renko topples over a statue, and then notices a beam of light protruding out of it. She puts her hand into it despite how strange it is, and after seeing a vision, manages to pull out Merry from the opening. Later, Merry argues with Renko about her manuscript, specifically her passage on otherworlds, on how she apparently claimed they don't exist: Renko then corrects her, saying that what she actually said was that "Matter doesn't exist, even in our world". Merry is so confused at the bold claim, and despite not really agreeing to it, relents and nods. Finally, Merry says she didn't feel like she was gone for 2 weeks, feeling like it had been mere moments, and Renko wonders if Merry really would have come back if she hadn't come for her...
So, given what happened, the "Hifuu story", so to speak, progressed a little bit, but perhaps not as much as some hoped.
What is the story of Hifuu anyway? It feels like the "plot" is that Renko and Merry are eventually going to become permanently separated.
I imagine it is something quite a few people aren't ready for...
Most notably, ZUN, who will likely hold back on doing such a thing as long as he can sell more copies of new CDs.
Regardless, the bottom line is that Renko and Merry's plot is still an ongoing work, and thus who knows, besides ZUN, what the future holds for them?
Well...you might. It's called a headcanon, after all. Vote or comment below about it.
Renko Usami is...
View Poll
submitted by WhiteHawkeReborn to touhou [link] [comments]
Welcome to Day 43 of WiyHat?. Today's topic is "Renko Usami", a University student studying the Super Unified Theory in the future "Outside World" Kyoto.
She's well known for being Maribel Hearn's close friend, being part of the Secret Sealing Club (SSC), and having some sort of connection to Sumireko Usami.
First, let's briefly recap her and Maribel's relationship: while Renko prefers to see thing objectively, Maribel believes subjectivity is actually more true or "real". Both of them are interested in the paranormal, however, so they actually see eye-to-eye more than expected. Their goal, as part of the SSC, is to investigate the possibility of "other worlds", which puts them on the trail to find Gensokyo, essentially.
Over the various Hifuu Albums (There's 11 released so far), they go through various short stories. While Renko has the superb ability to tell the exact time by looking at the stars\1) and exact location by looking at the moon, Maribel has the edge on her when it comes to visiting Gensokyo: she has the ability to see "boundaries", and can outright travel into other worlds in her dreams.
\1 In JST time only, specifically. So if she was in a PST timezone, she'd have to recalculate from the time she "sees" to get the actual time of the timezone she's in.)
Now, this is gonna be breaking my usual style, but I'm actually gonna delve into the fan reception of Renko before being done with the canon. This is because I want to point out right now that Renko's placement in the popularity poll is 41st, pretty good for a character that has only ever been in the Outside World. Meanwhile, Maribel, who seems to be the far more important character between the two because of her ability, is 54th. This 13 rank difference doesn't seem like that big of a deal...but Maribel was in 60th the year before, and if you compare those placements (Renko was 41st in 2022 as well), then the nearly 20 ranks of difference becomes a good deal more staggering for a pair of characters almost never separated.
Renko's much more likeable than Maribel despite being seemingly less important and less often depicted as sexy by fans (Maribel is often theorized as being Yukari, a character often drawn as very sexy, so fan artists often use that excuse that Maribel has to be a good deal sexy too, although not usually as much). How could this be?
Well, my personal theory is that it's because Renko's a great audience surrogate in the stories she participates in: she's the proactive one who deals with the aftermath of whatever happened (if anything) to Merry\2), who observes and describes the experience, or just plain is a great friend when she's not the POV character.
And this goes not just for canon works, but also fanworks: take the PHANTOM REPORT fan movie, a semi-parody of western films from the 2000's onward. Renko's basically the main character there, and her reacting to the nonsense as it unfolds feels far more relatable to most people than Merry's character portrayal.
\2 I don't want to make it sound like Merry is completely free of agency, but she ends up getting into trouble quite a few times and having difficulty "getting out of it" by herself. This is because she's the one who is usually "tasked" with doing "on-site investigations", while Renko searches for new materials.)
Essentially, what I want to get to here is that the reason Renko's probably more popular then Merry is that she feels more like a main character than her.
Well, either that, or her hat's just that much nicer. I'm also open to other theories as to why Renko's more popular too, I don't claim to be absolutely right on this.
Anyway, moving back to canon, I figured I'd cover what Renko does in the most recent story of Hifuu, though I will paraphrase/skip a few things: She searches for Merry, who she hadn't heard of for 2 weeks, by first ransacking her apartment. There, she finds a book given her a location to find her, strewn with numerous Jizo statues. Frustrated by Merry's ability to enter "otherworlds" with such ease, Renko topples over a statue, and then notices a beam of light protruding out of it. She puts her hand into it despite how strange it is, and after seeing a vision, manages to pull out Merry from the opening. Later, Merry argues with Renko about her manuscript, specifically her passage on otherworlds, on how she apparently claimed they don't exist: Renko then corrects her, saying that what she actually said was that "Matter doesn't exist, even in our world". Merry is so confused at the bold claim, and despite not really agreeing to it, relents and nods. Finally, Merry says she didn't feel like she was gone for 2 weeks, feeling like it had been mere moments, and Renko wonders if Merry really would have come back if she hadn't come for her...
So, given what happened, the "Hifuu story", so to speak, progressed a little bit, but perhaps not as much as some hoped.
What is the story of Hifuu anyway? It feels like the "plot" is that Renko and Merry are eventually going to become permanently separated.
I imagine it is something quite a few people aren't ready for...
Regardless, the bottom line is that Renko and Merry's plot is still an ongoing work, and thus who knows, besides ZUN, what the future holds for them?
Well...you might. It's called a headcanon, after all. Vote or comment below about it.
Renko Usami is...
View Poll
2024.05.15 16:59 summerprincess92 Harassment claim- I have my doubts about the mental clarity of the claimant and don't know how to proceed.
I have received pictures from an employee, depicting their lower leg and the result of what seems to be blunt force trauma. Claimaint claims sexual harrassment, but no further details are provided. References are made to anti-harrasment laws to accompany the picture but thats it.
As per policy I send employee home on paid leave and ask them to report when they are comfortable. Other employee is on paid suspension pending disciplinary action.
This happened exactly 4 weeks ago, and multiple requests from me for a description of the incident, have not been responded to. A MD has placed them on sick leave for mental health reasons.
What is the next step... I can't investigate until I understand what happened and I have two employees on paid leave, a department that is understaffed for nearly a month now and a GM that wants to know whats happening.
How do I approach this to get the report of the incident, without getting in trouble. From the legal jargon used in their initial communication to me, I get the feeling that legal advice has already been sought and I am scared that if I say 'report by XYZ date' the company will get slapped with a lawsuit.
submitted by summerprincess92 to humanresources [link] [comments]
As per policy I send employee home on paid leave and ask them to report when they are comfortable. Other employee is on paid suspension pending disciplinary action.
This happened exactly 4 weeks ago, and multiple requests from me for a description of the incident, have not been responded to. A MD has placed them on sick leave for mental health reasons.
What is the next step... I can't investigate until I understand what happened and I have two employees on paid leave, a department that is understaffed for nearly a month now and a GM that wants to know whats happening.
How do I approach this to get the report of the incident, without getting in trouble. From the legal jargon used in their initial communication to me, I get the feeling that legal advice has already been sought and I am scared that if I say 'report by XYZ date' the company will get slapped with a lawsuit.
2024.05.15 16:59 Formal_Work971 I can’t believe she’s still working with betterhelp despite being informed multiple times about how bad of a company they are!
She’s been working with them for years now and have continuously been told about how problematic of a company they are and yet she still works with them. The company literally had multiple lawsuits against it for giving poounethical advice, charging people for things they didn’t order, misleading people with its services and underpaying therapists. It’s not therapy, it’s just buying generic advice. They don’t even use betterhelp themselves bc they probably know how bad it is yet they’ll happily promote it to their young and impressionable fans. and the fact Jess is deleting comments from her own fans about how unethical the company is just shows how really too faced and fake she is. I have nothing against influencers working with brands but cmon don’t work with a brand like this! I’ll take a million CoPilot, AG1 and thredup ads over this any day! I actually follow 2 other YouTubers who have openly said that they regret working with betterhelp and that they didn’t know that it was that bad at the time- if only Jess had the decency to do that!
submitted by Formal_Work971 to jessandgabrielsnark [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 16:59 Mycrawft GIVEAWAY: 2 free tickets to Billie’s LA listening party tomorrow!
Hey guys! I have 2 extra tickets (Section 205, Row 11) for the LA listening party tomorrow at the Kia Forum and really want them to go to some other fans. I am giving them away for free and will give you the login info for my Ticketmaster account to access it. I already have two tickets in a closer section (Section 128, Row 11), and I don’t have time to coordinate and meet with people in person at the venue, so that’s why I’m doing this via Ticketmaster login.
Rules: 1. Comment how you got into Billie and why you want to see her! :) 2. One entry/comment per person only. Please only enter if you 100% know you can go if selected. 3. You must have activity on this subreddit. No new/throwaway accounts. 4. You must not already have tickets to see her tomorrow. These are not extras for your friends or for resale/scalping, these are for people on this subreddit who really want to go but missed out on the lottery. 5. And OBVIOUSLY: Please don’t be a dick. Please don’t mess with anything on my Ticketmaster account, like changing my password or email. You must log out of my Ticketmaster account right after you scan the tickets. 6. I will be choosing and replying to/DM’g the winner after work tonight, probably around 6:30 PM ish. If you don’t respond in the following few hours, I will choose another winner. I will update this thread accordingly.
Best of luck, and happy HMHAS release week!
submitted by Mycrawft to billieeilish [link] [comments]
Rules: 1. Comment how you got into Billie and why you want to see her! :) 2. One entry/comment per person only. Please only enter if you 100% know you can go if selected. 3. You must have activity on this subreddit. No new/throwaway accounts. 4. You must not already have tickets to see her tomorrow. These are not extras for your friends or for resale/scalping, these are for people on this subreddit who really want to go but missed out on the lottery. 5. And OBVIOUSLY: Please don’t be a dick. Please don’t mess with anything on my Ticketmaster account, like changing my password or email. You must log out of my Ticketmaster account right after you scan the tickets. 6. I will be choosing and replying to/DM’g the winner after work tonight, probably around 6:30 PM ish. If you don’t respond in the following few hours, I will choose another winner. I will update this thread accordingly.
Best of luck, and happy HMHAS release week!
2024.05.15 16:59 crunchyeyeball Hypothetical...
I was just watching a video about the future of head/body transplants, and it got me thinking.
Consider this hypothetical scenario:
It's the near future...
Advances in AI & nanotech mean that brain/body transplants are now possible between two consenting adults, but the procedure is incredibly expensive, and certainly not covered by insurance.
Initially, the procedure is used by the super wealthy as a way to extend their lives - every few years, they pay someone several years younger a lot of money to "swap bodies" with them.
Gradually, people begin to grow angry about rich people being able to live forever though, and governments initiate a crackdown. From now on the procedure can only be done if "medically justified", and no money can change hands between the donors.
That leaves a handful of trans people, where a compatible MTF/FTM pair are able to afford it.
Soon though, the super wealthy spot a loophole - a wealthy cis man could still swap with a younger trans man without breaking the rules, and later swap with a younger trans woman (assuming both are pre-HRT).
The wealthy cis man ends up in a younger male body, the trans man and trans woman both end up in a body of their preferred sex without going through years of HRT or surgery, etc., and no financial incentive was needed.
The only downside is that the trans pair are likely each in an older body, albeit of their preferred sex.
So, the question is:
How much older of a body would you be willing to accept if you could swap bodies in this way, assuming the body was otherwise healthy?
submitted by crunchyeyeball to MtF [link] [comments]
Consider this hypothetical scenario:
It's the near future...
Advances in AI & nanotech mean that brain/body transplants are now possible between two consenting adults, but the procedure is incredibly expensive, and certainly not covered by insurance.
Initially, the procedure is used by the super wealthy as a way to extend their lives - every few years, they pay someone several years younger a lot of money to "swap bodies" with them.
Gradually, people begin to grow angry about rich people being able to live forever though, and governments initiate a crackdown. From now on the procedure can only be done if "medically justified", and no money can change hands between the donors.
That leaves a handful of trans people, where a compatible MTF/FTM pair are able to afford it.
Soon though, the super wealthy spot a loophole - a wealthy cis man could still swap with a younger trans man without breaking the rules, and later swap with a younger trans woman (assuming both are pre-HRT).
The wealthy cis man ends up in a younger male body, the trans man and trans woman both end up in a body of their preferred sex without going through years of HRT or surgery, etc., and no financial incentive was needed.
The only downside is that the trans pair are likely each in an older body, albeit of their preferred sex.
So, the question is:
How much older of a body would you be willing to accept if you could swap bodies in this way, assuming the body was otherwise healthy?
2024.05.15 16:58 Comfortable-Shower-3 My gf wants to sleep with other people
My (22F) gf (24F) admitted to me the other night that she wants to sleep with other people (mainly men), that she's been fantasising about the male body and that she wants to experience life as a single person again. We have been together 4 years. I left the flat we share for a couple of hours and asked her to leave so I could come back and sleep for work the next morning. She said she would but then she told me that she loved me and wanted to be with me. Since then we've both felt a massive disconnect from each other. I would put it down to the fact that for a couple of hours we were both planning on how we would be able to survive outside of the relationship. She can't tell me that she doesn't want to sleep with other people but she can tell me she loves me and wants to be with me. We decided together to go on as if nothing had happened. So that she could get over these 'fantasies' and we could build up our intimacy up again. We went on a date last night that just didn't feel right, I know she felt it too. I told her today that my brain is still being a d**k about everything (I.e l'm still having anxiety and negative thoughts about our relationship), she says her too. I'm starting to think that suggesting we move out of our shared flat and live separately again in a hope that that will show to us wether we want to be together to be together or because we depend on each other fiscally etc as the issue of who gets what and how we can continue our lives with the flat came up several times. I know that I will be okay if we move out because I can drive and so will able to get to work etc if I have to move back home (a city about an hour away) but she doesn't drive and her family home is a lot more rural so she would struggle to get to work etc. I just don't know what to do. It has been less than a week, do we continue as we are hoping the intimacy comes back and the doubts go away or do we do something about it?
TL;DR Gf ruined the intimacy and trust in our relationship by admitting to wanting to sleep with other people. Do we pretend nothing happened hoping it goes back to normal or do we do something about it?
submitted by Comfortable-Shower-3 to relationships [link] [comments]
TL;DR Gf ruined the intimacy and trust in our relationship by admitting to wanting to sleep with other people. Do we pretend nothing happened hoping it goes back to normal or do we do something about it?
2024.05.15 16:58 Perfect-Holiday9150 Is poor communication from my (26M) partner a reason for me (F25) to leave him?
I’ve been debating this for months now, at the start he came across as a lovely family guy that has good morals, just for me to begin realising that he lied/wasn’t honest about his past, that he’s divorced and constantly blamed others for his problems. Thought I could build trust but other toxic traits of his have somewhat led me astray.
Lately I’ve caught onto his victim mentality, and he even does it with me. If I address an issue with him he doesn’t see it as an issue, he can’t step into my shoes and understand the way that IM feeling. Instead his ego and arrogance takes over “I’m not like this, im not like that”. It’s like you don’t get anywhere and for months I’ve been dragging my feet hoping he will see some of the damage he’s done to me. Instead of showing empathy/sympathy he internalises things and makes it about himself “oh it’s not been easy living ALONE all these years”. Majority of the time he’s shifting the blame and not taking accountability unless he’s cornered to do so.
On the plus side, he is there to support me physically, takes me out and always does things for me. Which I greatly appreciate but I also reciprocate that to him with gestures. He spends every spare moment with me and doesn’t want to leave my side. I am always supportive of him and try to help him mature and grow in a positive way even when 90% of things he paints out in a negative light. He holds the things he does for me physically against me. Shouldn’t communication be the biggest factor in a long lasting marriage? I want to feel whole on the inside by him comforting and reassuring me just like I do him.
I got so fed up of constantly saying how he pushes my boundaries when I don’t want to sleep with him he thinks of a way to get me into bed. He doesn’t even think that it makes me uncomfortable.
This is not the way I like to communicate, I told him that and he starts saying “yeah who wants to be with me long term anyway”. I seriously don’t know what to respond to that because the convo doesn’t go anywhere!!. It’s so dysfunctional and ridiculous, I feel like you shouldn’t have to teach people empathy because they learnt it from you, they don’t feel bad for you.
Not to triangulate, but I have a male best friend who communicates so well with me in a healthy manner that makes me feel heard and cared for. I understand that no relationship is perfect and that not many people are as emotionally intelligent or as deep as me but when you feel that harmony with those who care and understand you it’s an amazing feeling and that’s what I’m missing from my relationship, I don’t know if this is worth holding onto no matter how much I care about him and how much he says he cares for me.
TL;DR: bf struggles to take accountability, lacks empathy and understanding of a situation and I feel unheard in our relationship.
submitted by Perfect-Holiday9150 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Lately I’ve caught onto his victim mentality, and he even does it with me. If I address an issue with him he doesn’t see it as an issue, he can’t step into my shoes and understand the way that IM feeling. Instead his ego and arrogance takes over “I’m not like this, im not like that”. It’s like you don’t get anywhere and for months I’ve been dragging my feet hoping he will see some of the damage he’s done to me. Instead of showing empathy/sympathy he internalises things and makes it about himself “oh it’s not been easy living ALONE all these years”. Majority of the time he’s shifting the blame and not taking accountability unless he’s cornered to do so.
On the plus side, he is there to support me physically, takes me out and always does things for me. Which I greatly appreciate but I also reciprocate that to him with gestures. He spends every spare moment with me and doesn’t want to leave my side. I am always supportive of him and try to help him mature and grow in a positive way even when 90% of things he paints out in a negative light. He holds the things he does for me physically against me. Shouldn’t communication be the biggest factor in a long lasting marriage? I want to feel whole on the inside by him comforting and reassuring me just like I do him.
I got so fed up of constantly saying how he pushes my boundaries when I don’t want to sleep with him he thinks of a way to get me into bed. He doesn’t even think that it makes me uncomfortable.
This is not the way I like to communicate, I told him that and he starts saying “yeah who wants to be with me long term anyway”. I seriously don’t know what to respond to that because the convo doesn’t go anywhere!!. It’s so dysfunctional and ridiculous, I feel like you shouldn’t have to teach people empathy because they learnt it from you, they don’t feel bad for you.
Not to triangulate, but I have a male best friend who communicates so well with me in a healthy manner that makes me feel heard and cared for. I understand that no relationship is perfect and that not many people are as emotionally intelligent or as deep as me but when you feel that harmony with those who care and understand you it’s an amazing feeling and that’s what I’m missing from my relationship, I don’t know if this is worth holding onto no matter how much I care about him and how much he says he cares for me.
TL;DR: bf struggles to take accountability, lacks empathy and understanding of a situation and I feel unheard in our relationship.
2024.05.15 16:56 junkyard1897 New neighbors
About six years ago my family bought a place in rural Indiana, just outside of town. We bought it for the machine shop, a huge industrial building with zoning, power and access for trucks. I had been a professional metal smith for about ten years but had to leave that work behind for financial reasons and the cost of proper space where I live. This new place was on 5 acres with a house, barn and a creek in the back. It was bordered by a neighbor with an extensive garden and orchard on one side and an empty field on the other. Two years after we moved in the field sold. The new owner stored trucks and building supplies there for two years before starting on a house. It took them quite a while to build it- they were building it themselves. They seemed decent enough at the time. Now, I am used to being viewed as nuisance- I run a blacksmith/welding shop. I try to mitigate the noise. The building is insulated, and machinery anchored to huge (and expensive) concrete footings that reduce vibration. I don’t crank the stereo to drown out the machines, I have headphones. I do regular noise audits and keep reasonable hours ( nothing before 7 or after 9, and no weekend work) When the new neighbors began nearing completion, they brought goats out and stuffed them into a chicken coop about midway down our driveway. They would come out to check on the goats every few days but sometimes the animals would go a while without anyone coming by. My wife and I would walk the dogs past a few times a day ( it’s our driveway) and after a few days of goats screaming at us, one of us would go over and give them food and water. This was an every other week kind of thing. I figured these folks were probably really busy and just getting hung up on driving the 45 + minutes to feed the animals- not a big deal really. As they began moving in, they built a fence, or rather, they had a drunk uncle build a fence. It was just a foot, or two or three from my driveway, and as it meandered toward my house veered into my carport. I tried to have a conversation with them about this, and was threatened with a lawsuit… ( my first altercation with them) I approached the county only to be told that it would be a civil dispute and I would have to go through an attorney to get anything done. Now the drunk uncle realized he was off the line when he got to the carport and just stopped. For 8 months they did nothing. Well, they did start collecting animals. 6 more goats, 16 sheep, 2 then 4 horses and 4 cows…all of these tied to posts in chicken wire fences… I did call animal control. Animal control informed me that this county is rural and they can have whatever animals they want, and do to them whatever they want… (damn Indiana… just??? ) this was about the time he decided to start “training “ the horses. This involved tying them to a post in front of my porch, blasting mariachi music, while whipping the horse- for about two hours a night…they lost three horses, and got 5 more…the half built fence blew over into our driveway last spring. I was out of town working and my wife took the dogs out and took some pictures of the fence in our driveway. The neighbor called the police and reported that she was stalking them, and taking pictures of their workers ( who were eating lunch at the time apparently, but ran off when they realized they had been seen) the police were not thrilled with the call and gave the neighbor a bit of a talking to. The following week they pulled the fence and rebuilt it straight. It now fully encloses their property and is not interfering with my carport. Now, I don’t trust these idiots, but hoped this was the end….far from it. They covered their property with flood lights, that are motion activated. We no longer have dark nights. In the fall they began building a 7000-8000 sq ft barn. Right next to my front porch. Now, at least the horses have a decent place…(right? ) they brought in a full time horse trainer and are “raftering” the horses. The new barn comes with a sound system, and the horse beating is now an 8 am- midnight 7 day a week affair. When the horses get unmanageable they trade them out. I have no count on the animals anymore, but at least I don’t have to watch the beatings anymore. Four times now he has charged me on horseback while I was walking the dogs. I figured he had no control the first three times but the last time he looked me in the eye and spurred the horse directly at me… starting in late January the manure began. They have 7 acres. They pile the manure right by my porch. I messaged her- she blocked me. I e-mailed both of them. From February to April they just piled it higher. In May I called the health department ( damn Indiana…) On the books, the pile shouldn’t be within 200 feet of a residence. The inspector said horse manure doesn’t count…. They responded… the inspection got them riled up. Apparently I am the asshole for wanting the poop piled on the side of the barn that is not right by my front door and dining room window…My second conversation with them ( in two years) was two weeks ago, and now they are going out of their way to pile it closer to my house. I haven’t complained about the noise, or called zoning on them for the unapproved event space They are building, or mentioned any of a dozen other obnoxious things they do. I am concerned that they seem to only want to escalate things. From the conversation it sounds like they are getting flak from other neighbors and thinking it is me. I am not sure they realize that there are houses all around them. She “rescued” a cat that belongs to one of the other neighbors which makes me think she hasn’t talked to any of them. And she kept going on about us calling the police, which I never have. I can hear the mariachi music, literally night and day , echoing through my house, and in the shop ( built for noise abatement) with doors closed and machines running) I am fairly certain that is not going over well with some of the neighbors.
submitted by junkyard1897 to neighborsfromhell [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 16:55 CreepyOlGuy 32m with NPD mother, how to have any sort of functional relationship?
Hi all,
Mother's Day has me feeling down; it's the worst part of the year for me. I feel guilty about not having a decent relationship with my mother and constantly wonder what I did wrong.
I'm married with two children (5 & 7) and work from home with two jobs. I live 20 minutes away from my mother. She always accuses me of withholding my children from her and despises my wife. They've even had physical altercations before, and she has historically called my wife names.
She constantly tries to drive a wedge between my wife and me, always stirring up trouble. I can't leave my wife alone in the same room with her. In contrast, she has a completely different relationship with my older sister, proudly displaying pictures of her kids and going out of her way to be involved in their lives.
Despite working from home for seven years and my kids being home daily after school, she has never visited us once. On Mother's Day, she expects us to drop everything and spend the day at her house, ignoring that my wife is also a mother. We don’t engage with that anymore, but she doesn’t understand. I've suggested lunch or a visit, but she just gets mad.
My therapist advises maintaining boundaries with a narcissistic mother (NPD) and acknowledges it's a difficult situation. She does nothing to foster a relationship with me or my family unless I facilitate everything, and frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm the working parent, and she’s been retired for over 15 years. Plus, my youngest is highly allergic to dogs, and going to her house triggers his asthma.
Recently, her new phone from AT&T it audibly tells me when she sends me directly to voicemail, and I have no desire to keep trying. My childhood seemed great, but since becoming independent, I’m never enough despite my success.
I'm successful and never needing anything whereas my sister is kind of the opposite her and her husband are complete messes, my mother loves ruling their life and every dollar given just puts her in higher power over them. My sisters husband for all his problems even sees right through her.
I just want a mother who calls occasionally, attends my kids' sports events, and stops by once in a while.
Next year, I’m moving out of state (6 hours away), and it scares me because I think we’ll basically go no contact, as she won't even try. Yet, somehow, I’m always the bad person. I cannot fathom creating this type of relationship with my own kids.
How do other men out there handle this?
submitted by CreepyOlGuy to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
Mother's Day has me feeling down; it's the worst part of the year for me. I feel guilty about not having a decent relationship with my mother and constantly wonder what I did wrong.
I'm married with two children (5 & 7) and work from home with two jobs. I live 20 minutes away from my mother. She always accuses me of withholding my children from her and despises my wife. They've even had physical altercations before, and she has historically called my wife names.
She constantly tries to drive a wedge between my wife and me, always stirring up trouble. I can't leave my wife alone in the same room with her. In contrast, she has a completely different relationship with my older sister, proudly displaying pictures of her kids and going out of her way to be involved in their lives.
Despite working from home for seven years and my kids being home daily after school, she has never visited us once. On Mother's Day, she expects us to drop everything and spend the day at her house, ignoring that my wife is also a mother. We don’t engage with that anymore, but she doesn’t understand. I've suggested lunch or a visit, but she just gets mad.
My therapist advises maintaining boundaries with a narcissistic mother (NPD) and acknowledges it's a difficult situation. She does nothing to foster a relationship with me or my family unless I facilitate everything, and frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm the working parent, and she’s been retired for over 15 years. Plus, my youngest is highly allergic to dogs, and going to her house triggers his asthma.
Recently, her new phone from AT&T it audibly tells me when she sends me directly to voicemail, and I have no desire to keep trying. My childhood seemed great, but since becoming independent, I’m never enough despite my success.
I'm successful and never needing anything whereas my sister is kind of the opposite her and her husband are complete messes, my mother loves ruling their life and every dollar given just puts her in higher power over them. My sisters husband for all his problems even sees right through her.
I just want a mother who calls occasionally, attends my kids' sports events, and stops by once in a while.
Next year, I’m moving out of state (6 hours away), and it scares me because I think we’ll basically go no contact, as she won't even try. Yet, somehow, I’m always the bad person. I cannot fathom creating this type of relationship with my own kids.
How do other men out there handle this?
2024.05.15 16:55 i-want-2-kms The gay "friend" story. A cautionary tale.
It has been more than a year since this happened. This maybe a long post but it is quite personal, so please read the entire thing before jumping to conclusions.
I am a college student. About a year ago I was forced to leave the hostel of the campus due to some stuff, so I moved into a PG. I did not have any friends there. I used to study all day and spend my time alone there. I was working hard, but due to the lack of friends I was quite lonely.
One day I was sitting on the terrace and singing and this guy approached me saying he liked my singing. He talked to me for a while. I assumed he is straight so I talked to him normally, bro to bro. Eventually we delved into other topics and I told him about my depression. He told me about his depression. We related quite a bit. He used to brag about the girls he has been with etc.
He became friends with me and started inviting me to walk with him every night. He's a cool guy so I went with him. We talked about all sorts of things. And it was helpful for my loneliness as well. Good times.
Now one random day, we were walking in the evening and he said "I need to tell you something important", I was like sure go ahead. He said "I am bisexual". I was like oh cool. He said "I thought you won't accept me", I was like "Pagal hai kya bhai tu dost hai mera". I was actually quite happy he trusted me with his secret. And I was happy for him as well.
This is where things started to change.
After he told me he was "bisexual" (he is straight up gay, bisexual probably softens the blow lol), he started to bring it up more often in conversations. He would point at some guy and say "He's really hot", and I didn't mind. I'd even tease him and shit.
But then it started happening a lot more. I do not know if this is internalized homophobia or whatever they call it, I simply CANNOT hear in graphic detail about gay sex. I do not like to see photos of gay men kissing and having sex. I am repulsed by it. I do not have a problem with people who are gay, but I can't be expected to sit and watch gay porn with him.
This guy started to bring up all of his exes, started showing me photos of him with other dudes in bed. Started telling me in graphic fooking detail about his nightly encounters. I did not want to know what he is doing with another man. Maybe he was compensating in some way, or seeing how I react. I already told him multiple times I do not have problems with him being gay.
We were still doing those night walks and right after he told me he was gay, it was still the same. He was still my friend, I still enjoyed his company. But something became weird from his side. He would ask me to go to really dark places. I remember once he was standing and making eye contact with me as if he wanted to kiss me. I felt so creeped out.
I started suspecting that he has a crush on me or something. But I gave him the benefit of doubt, thinking it was probably some homophobia in some corner of my heart. I was assuming a gay man is in love with me because he is gay. Which is not fair.
After a few days we were talking about something and he asked me "are you straight?" I said yes 100%. Then he started saying that nobody is ever truly straight. That all people are gay in some way. That sounded really wrong to me, like he was trying to say I think you are gay.
When we came back from walking that day, he playfully punched me. I punched him back. Then after a little back and forth, out of literally nowhere, he grabbed my ass.
This was the breaking point. I did not shout at him, I was super pissed. All I said was "That wasn't cool bro" and he just smirked at me, like he had some sort of victory.
I stopped talking to him after that.
submitted by i-want-2-kms to onexindia [link] [comments]
I am a college student. About a year ago I was forced to leave the hostel of the campus due to some stuff, so I moved into a PG. I did not have any friends there. I used to study all day and spend my time alone there. I was working hard, but due to the lack of friends I was quite lonely.
One day I was sitting on the terrace and singing and this guy approached me saying he liked my singing. He talked to me for a while. I assumed he is straight so I talked to him normally, bro to bro. Eventually we delved into other topics and I told him about my depression. He told me about his depression. We related quite a bit. He used to brag about the girls he has been with etc.
He became friends with me and started inviting me to walk with him every night. He's a cool guy so I went with him. We talked about all sorts of things. And it was helpful for my loneliness as well. Good times.
Now one random day, we were walking in the evening and he said "I need to tell you something important", I was like sure go ahead. He said "I am bisexual". I was like oh cool. He said "I thought you won't accept me", I was like "Pagal hai kya bhai tu dost hai mera". I was actually quite happy he trusted me with his secret. And I was happy for him as well.
This is where things started to change.
After he told me he was "bisexual" (he is straight up gay, bisexual probably softens the blow lol), he started to bring it up more often in conversations. He would point at some guy and say "He's really hot", and I didn't mind. I'd even tease him and shit.
But then it started happening a lot more. I do not know if this is internalized homophobia or whatever they call it, I simply CANNOT hear in graphic detail about gay sex. I do not like to see photos of gay men kissing and having sex. I am repulsed by it. I do not have a problem with people who are gay, but I can't be expected to sit and watch gay porn with him.
This guy started to bring up all of his exes, started showing me photos of him with other dudes in bed. Started telling me in graphic fooking detail about his nightly encounters. I did not want to know what he is doing with another man. Maybe he was compensating in some way, or seeing how I react. I already told him multiple times I do not have problems with him being gay.
We were still doing those night walks and right after he told me he was gay, it was still the same. He was still my friend, I still enjoyed his company. But something became weird from his side. He would ask me to go to really dark places. I remember once he was standing and making eye contact with me as if he wanted to kiss me. I felt so creeped out.
I started suspecting that he has a crush on me or something. But I gave him the benefit of doubt, thinking it was probably some homophobia in some corner of my heart. I was assuming a gay man is in love with me because he is gay. Which is not fair.
After a few days we were talking about something and he asked me "are you straight?" I said yes 100%. Then he started saying that nobody is ever truly straight. That all people are gay in some way. That sounded really wrong to me, like he was trying to say I think you are gay.
When we came back from walking that day, he playfully punched me. I punched him back. Then after a little back and forth, out of literally nowhere, he grabbed my ass.
This was the breaking point. I did not shout at him, I was super pissed. All I said was "That wasn't cool bro" and he just smirked at me, like he had some sort of victory.
I stopped talking to him after that.
2024.05.15 16:55 crunchyeyeball Hypothetical...
I was just watching a video about the future of head/body transplants, and it got me thinking.
Consider this hypothetical scenario:
It's the near future...
Advances in AI & nanotech mean that brain/body transplants are now possible between two consenting adults, but the procedure is incredibly expensive, and certainly not covered by insurance.
Initially, the procedure is used by the super wealthy as a way to extend their lives - every few years, they pay someone several years younger a lot of money to "swap bodies" with them.
Gradually, people begin to grow angry about rich people being able to live forever though, and governments initiate a crackdown. From now on the procedure can only be done if "medically justified", and no money can change hands between the donors.
That leaves a handful of trans people, where a compatible MTF/FTM pair are able to afford it.
Soon though, the super wealthy spot a loophole - a wealthy cis man could still swap with a younger trans man without breaking the rules, and later swap with a younger trans woman (assuming both are pre-HRT).
The wealthy cis man ends up in a younger male body, the trans man and trans woman both end up in a body of their preferred sex without going through years of HRT or surgery, etc., and no financial incentive was needed.
The only downside is that the trans pair are likely each in an older body, albeit of their preferred sex.
So, the question is:
How much older of a body would you be willing to accept if you could swap bodies in this way, assuming the body was otherwise healthy?
submitted by crunchyeyeball to trans [link] [comments]
Consider this hypothetical scenario:
It's the near future...
Advances in AI & nanotech mean that brain/body transplants are now possible between two consenting adults, but the procedure is incredibly expensive, and certainly not covered by insurance.
Initially, the procedure is used by the super wealthy as a way to extend their lives - every few years, they pay someone several years younger a lot of money to "swap bodies" with them.
Gradually, people begin to grow angry about rich people being able to live forever though, and governments initiate a crackdown. From now on the procedure can only be done if "medically justified", and no money can change hands between the donors.
That leaves a handful of trans people, where a compatible MTF/FTM pair are able to afford it.
Soon though, the super wealthy spot a loophole - a wealthy cis man could still swap with a younger trans man without breaking the rules, and later swap with a younger trans woman (assuming both are pre-HRT).
The wealthy cis man ends up in a younger male body, the trans man and trans woman both end up in a body of their preferred sex without going through years of HRT or surgery, etc., and no financial incentive was needed.
The only downside is that the trans pair are likely each in an older body, albeit of their preferred sex.
So, the question is:
How much older of a body would you be willing to accept if you could swap bodies in this way, assuming the body was otherwise healthy?
2024.05.15 16:52 Jon-Bones-Jones_ UNICEF/UNESCO Agents trying to get your money.
I've been seeing a lot of UNICEF /UNESCO people on roads, pvr, malls literally everywhere trying to sign you up.
The money they collect all go into their salaries and their management. Very sure most of the money you donate isnt reaching the needy.
These people are hired by a few small organization One such is Focus organization which I've seen in coimbatore.
Here is my experience. They once sent me an email for a walk in interview as a business associate in coimbatore.
When i arrived, it was a run down building and on the third floor there was a small room and a dirty, office chair where I saw many of the people working there was taking photos wearing a suit that was passed around.
After the interview they were boasting that they were working with American express, Mercedes etc and you can choose whatever they want.
Then they made us learn a script in Tamil by heart and practice it. Before that they played loud music and made people dance to bring them to ease.
After the script you have to repeat it back to the leaders and they correct you in how to adjust the tone to manipulate and get the sympathy of the people.
Then they make these new hires go with one of their guys into the streets and then started going into shops malls, even colleges and reiterate the script.
Most funny thing was that they were showing a list of names with performers and there was a guy with the last name Bajaj. The owner of this place Dandu Dinesh said that this guy is from the Bajaj family and has a ton of money, but wanted to do his own business so he came to work with their begging scam.
They still lie and hire people with fancy names like business associate and that after 2 years they'll help you start your own business and all.
At the time they were collecting money for SOS organization. But I'm sure a large chunks of the money collected is going into their own pockets as I contacted SOS directly and they confirmed that these guys are taking out huge commissions.
Focus management was the name of this scam organization.
Person acting as HR was Divya
Owner was some Dandu Dinesh.
I quit in the same day and was pissed off. This Dandu even had the nerve to tell me if I'm looking for other jobs, he had contacts with AMEX and all and that he can refer me.
They are scammers. They make money in the name of charity. Nothing less that frauds.
Oh and one more thing. Majority of the staff I saw there were females. I think they're using females to manipulate guys into paying as I myself signed up for this subscription an year later in kerala without knowing it was them. A girl called me and sounded genuine. Said that she was working and is volunteering for the NGO.
I heard that they were looking to expand this thing to every city and later heard that they moved to kerala as well.
From another post in Bengaluru sub, i got to know that it was again Focus organization that is behind this as well.
If you see more two or more approaching you as a group, it means there is a leader in that pack who's training the noobs with him. That's how it goes. They sent out these people under the supervision of an experienced person to make sure that they don't message up their script.
SO BEWARE. AVOID THESE SCAMSTERS. DONATE TO A CHARITY YOU KNOW VERY WELL AND NOT VIA THESE AGENTS.
submitted by Jon-Bones-Jones_ to Kochi [link] [comments]
The money they collect all go into their salaries and their management. Very sure most of the money you donate isnt reaching the needy.
These people are hired by a few small organization One such is Focus organization which I've seen in coimbatore.
Here is my experience. They once sent me an email for a walk in interview as a business associate in coimbatore.
When i arrived, it was a run down building and on the third floor there was a small room and a dirty, office chair where I saw many of the people working there was taking photos wearing a suit that was passed around.
After the interview they were boasting that they were working with American express, Mercedes etc and you can choose whatever they want.
Then they made us learn a script in Tamil by heart and practice it. Before that they played loud music and made people dance to bring them to ease.
After the script you have to repeat it back to the leaders and they correct you in how to adjust the tone to manipulate and get the sympathy of the people.
Then they make these new hires go with one of their guys into the streets and then started going into shops malls, even colleges and reiterate the script.
Most funny thing was that they were showing a list of names with performers and there was a guy with the last name Bajaj. The owner of this place Dandu Dinesh said that this guy is from the Bajaj family and has a ton of money, but wanted to do his own business so he came to work with their begging scam.
They still lie and hire people with fancy names like business associate and that after 2 years they'll help you start your own business and all.
At the time they were collecting money for SOS organization. But I'm sure a large chunks of the money collected is going into their own pockets as I contacted SOS directly and they confirmed that these guys are taking out huge commissions.
Focus management was the name of this scam organization.
Person acting as HR was Divya
Owner was some Dandu Dinesh.
I quit in the same day and was pissed off. This Dandu even had the nerve to tell me if I'm looking for other jobs, he had contacts with AMEX and all and that he can refer me.
They are scammers. They make money in the name of charity. Nothing less that frauds.
Oh and one more thing. Majority of the staff I saw there were females. I think they're using females to manipulate guys into paying as I myself signed up for this subscription an year later in kerala without knowing it was them. A girl called me and sounded genuine. Said that she was working and is volunteering for the NGO.
I heard that they were looking to expand this thing to every city and later heard that they moved to kerala as well.
From another post in Bengaluru sub, i got to know that it was again Focus organization that is behind this as well.
If you see more two or more approaching you as a group, it means there is a leader in that pack who's training the noobs with him. That's how it goes. They sent out these people under the supervision of an experienced person to make sure that they don't message up their script.
SO BEWARE. AVOID THESE SCAMSTERS. DONATE TO A CHARITY YOU KNOW VERY WELL AND NOT VIA THESE AGENTS.
2024.05.15 16:49 Fehafare New player looking for some advice
Greetings everyone. I hope this sort of post isn't becoming a nuisance on this sub by now, but I'm trying to start off at the right foot here with the game and I figured this is probably the best place to look. As you can probably guess I'm here cause of the release of the simulator.
To be completely clear, I'm not really a big Digimon fan (I watched a good number of the series when I was younger but never to completion and I was never a "digimon kid" if that makes sense). But I really love TCGs in general and my best friend is a big digimon nerd so that's how I ended up here. A year or so ago he bought two starter decks and we played a few games and I found it intriguing enough to keep it in mind (and to be clear, my best friend also has little to not Digimon TCG experience since no real opportunities to play irl).
As far as TCGs in general go I dabbled in pretty much everything and anything and have given most a try here and there (given they were accessible) though my main and go to by far is Yugioh. I assume some people here who play Digimon also play Yugioh so I'm brining it up as a reference point in terms of what my general experience is. I should probably also note that I'm really into Yugioh and how it's designed and why it's the one TCG I stuck with more than pretty much all other combined that I've ever tried.
I read up on the rules for the Digimon TCG and well, decided to just jump into it since I prefer to learn by playing. Over the last few days I did some 20-30 games against bots and maybe 5 or so real games with half a dozen different decks or so. The decks in question I got from the Digimon Card Meta site, Specifically the BT15 ENG Tournament decks.
My experience in general was mostly feeling like most decks wanted me to play a lot more aggro than is my preferred playstyle and a lot of their mechanics/strategies revolved around enabling/rewarding said playstyle above most other aspects. Before I continue I should probably emphasize that this is me coming in with low experience and just feeling around trying to find a playstyle and deck type that clicks with me, for all I know I was horribly misplaying most/all of these.
For reference the decks I tried were:
Aside from the deck recommendations I wanted to ask a few things:
submitted by Fehafare to DigimonCardGame2020 [link] [comments]
To be completely clear, I'm not really a big Digimon fan (I watched a good number of the series when I was younger but never to completion and I was never a "digimon kid" if that makes sense). But I really love TCGs in general and my best friend is a big digimon nerd so that's how I ended up here. A year or so ago he bought two starter decks and we played a few games and I found it intriguing enough to keep it in mind (and to be clear, my best friend also has little to not Digimon TCG experience since no real opportunities to play irl).
As far as TCGs in general go I dabbled in pretty much everything and anything and have given most a try here and there (given they were accessible) though my main and go to by far is Yugioh. I assume some people here who play Digimon also play Yugioh so I'm brining it up as a reference point in terms of what my general experience is. I should probably also note that I'm really into Yugioh and how it's designed and why it's the one TCG I stuck with more than pretty much all other combined that I've ever tried.
I read up on the rules for the Digimon TCG and well, decided to just jump into it since I prefer to learn by playing. Over the last few days I did some 20-30 games against bots and maybe 5 or so real games with half a dozen different decks or so. The decks in question I got from the Digimon Card Meta site, Specifically the BT15 ENG Tournament decks.
My experience in general was mostly feeling like most decks wanted me to play a lot more aggro than is my preferred playstyle and a lot of their mechanics/strategies revolved around enabling/rewarding said playstyle above most other aspects. Before I continue I should probably emphasize that this is me coming in with low experience and just feeling around trying to find a playstyle and deck type that clicks with me, for all I know I was horribly misplaying most/all of these.
For reference the decks I tried were:
- Gaomon: Felt like one of the better decks to play where everything had an okay payoff, though the gameplan did seem a bit one note overall
- Rosemon: Felt very similar to Gaomon to me but with a less smooth climb to the big boss Digimon compared to Gaomon.
- Red Hybrid: I didn't fully get this one, it always felt like my hand was slightly mismatched/like I was missing a piece somewhere to fully benefit from all the effects that came up. May very well be just me sucking/luck of the draw as I did get a general sense of how it works tho.
- ShineGreymon: It was... okay. Definitely falls into the "a bit too aggro/OTK focused" bin for my taste but it also had a fair number of removal effects, not my favourite but overall okay.
- Loogamon: I honestly feel like I just need to play this more, cause like with Red Hybrid it felt like the pieces just weren't clicking together with how I played and what hands I was getting.
- Soc Police/Brigade: I have no idea if I'm about to make a lot of people laugh and if this is some insane clueless noob take, but holy crap I love this deck so much. I am sexually attracted to Brigadramon. Amazing feeling grind game, lots of really good non evolution tech digimon to plop down on the field depending on the board and once Brigadramon hits the field it feels borderline impossible to lose unless your opponent outs it asap.
Aside from the deck recommendations I wanted to ask a few things:
- How safe is it to make my own deck? Like can I have a look, find a high level digimon I really like and then reverse engineer the rest of the deck around them? I'm not looking for 100% meta stuff, but like rogue-ish decks that can compete and steal games. Basically just stuff that won't feel miserable to play against any sort of competent deck.
- Is there some in depth guide about best practices in regards to crucial decisions in the game? Stuff like what the general mulligan philosophy is or best MP management (right now I plan most/all of my turns around leaving my opp at 1 or 2 MP without necessarily considering other approaches unless I can get to a very obvious win con by going above that).
2024.05.15 16:49 Mammoth-Banana3621 Subreddit Eugene doesn't grasp the concept of fact
There was a post in Eugene asking for a referral to an insurance agent who would accept a trans position for insurance rates. (or complementary to them). I then posted that an insurance company sets rates based on gender. Males pay more for insurance, this is statistically how it works. I stated I have trans friends and they are some of the greatest people I know, but they are still not women. Frankly, I think it's wonderful if they want to live as one. No problem for me there, but when men are racing against women, getting car rates that are based on stats, and generally trying to make the world say a man is in fact a woman, we all have a problem. And, I was banned for hate speech. I in fact said I love everyone I know who is trans. Great people. That doesn't mean I think they are, in fact, a woman. I appreciate they want to dress, take hormones, and possibly get surgery, still doesn't change your DNA. And to get banned because that is transphobia is insane. I am really getting tired of the hatred being thrown at everyone else who doesn't want to adhere to your delusional behaviors. There are facts! I am very accepting of someone living however they want, change their name, wear women's clothing, and doing anything else they want to do. You do NOT get to make everyone else adhere to your lifestyle choices. The same as Christianity not being forced on everyone around them.
submitted by Mammoth-Banana3621 to fucksubredditeugene [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 16:45 DrongoDyle To everyone who claims "it's a new edition":
Preface: I'm totally fine with people referring to the reworked books as "5.5e" because frankly it's the easiest way to differentiate them from the 2014 versions.
My main arguement here is that though all the player options have been overhauled, the 2024 rules are still fundamentally not a distinct/new rpg system from the rest of 5e.
You really just need to look at the glossary section of the newest playtest to see the 5e system itself has hardly changed at all. Most of the changes are just fixing bad wording to make rules function as intended. The only rules I see that directly contradicts their 2014 counterpart are Shove and Grapple (which both have DCs now)
Calculating ability mods from ability scores hasn't changed. Calculating AC and Initiative bonus hasn't changed. Calculating mods for attacks, saving throws and skill checks hasn't changed, and neither has how those rolls work in game. You are still limited to an Action, Bonus Action, and movement each turn, and a reaction each round. Short rests still let you spend hit dice to recover HP, and long rests still restore all HP and hit dice.
In other words: 99% of what makes 5e 5e is the exact fucking same. Reworking character options is nowhere near comparable to creating a distinct RPG system. The jump from 4e to 5e completely removed "action points", completely changed what a "saving throw" even is, and removed the "Reflex", "Fortitude" and "Will" stats (which all worked kinda like AC).
You can have a full party of characters made with with the 2014 PHB, and play with the 2024 rules, AND IT WORKS. It might not be as balanced/fun, but every single one of their effects still works as it was intended back in 2014. Meanwhile if you try to use a 4e character in 5e it simply won't work, because their features refer to mechanics that don't exist anymore, their AC is wrong for their stats, and 3/4 of their attacks/spells target stats that 5e enemies simply don't have.
TL;DR: Reworked features ≠ New TTRPG system
submitted by DrongoDyle to onednd [link] [comments]
My main arguement here is that though all the player options have been overhauled, the 2024 rules are still fundamentally not a distinct/new rpg system from the rest of 5e.
You really just need to look at the glossary section of the newest playtest to see the 5e system itself has hardly changed at all. Most of the changes are just fixing bad wording to make rules function as intended. The only rules I see that directly contradicts their 2014 counterpart are Shove and Grapple (which both have DCs now)
Calculating ability mods from ability scores hasn't changed. Calculating AC and Initiative bonus hasn't changed. Calculating mods for attacks, saving throws and skill checks hasn't changed, and neither has how those rolls work in game. You are still limited to an Action, Bonus Action, and movement each turn, and a reaction each round. Short rests still let you spend hit dice to recover HP, and long rests still restore all HP and hit dice.
In other words: 99% of what makes 5e 5e is the exact fucking same. Reworking character options is nowhere near comparable to creating a distinct RPG system. The jump from 4e to 5e completely removed "action points", completely changed what a "saving throw" even is, and removed the "Reflex", "Fortitude" and "Will" stats (which all worked kinda like AC).
You can have a full party of characters made with with the 2014 PHB, and play with the 2024 rules, AND IT WORKS. It might not be as balanced/fun, but every single one of their effects still works as it was intended back in 2014. Meanwhile if you try to use a 4e character in 5e it simply won't work, because their features refer to mechanics that don't exist anymore, their AC is wrong for their stats, and 3/4 of their attacks/spells target stats that 5e enemies simply don't have.
TL;DR: Reworked features ≠ New TTRPG system