Experienced in game development, I'm actively seeking opportunities in both short and long-term projects. Currently employed as a programmer at A2Z Technologies, I focus on projects involving physical simulators and games. Additionally, I achieved third place in ICPC during a national tour. As a key member of Hrust studio, I've contributed to published games like Streetoir and Trafical. Moreover, I possess knowledge of the Spring framework and PostgreSQL, alongside solid experience in git usage. In addition to my primary employment, I've also undertaken freelance work, focusing on resolving bugs and the development of new projects. Also, I participated as a member of a team in local games exhibitions like Game Summit. Besides that, in my university, I created an application to enhance the EACORP project, optimazing the initial construction expenses of pipelines taking into consideration factors like water resources and environmentally protected zones. This application was developed utilizing the EarthEngine API.
Key Skills: Proficient in Unity and C#, with expertise in multiplayer using Netcode for GameObjects and AI development for games, based on behavior and decision trees. Familiar with Spring framework and have a basic understanding of PostgreSQL. Solid experience in git usage.
Languages: English, Russian, Azerbaijani
Published Projects: Streetoir: Available on Steam
Contact: Email: [laq018.laq@gmail.com](mailto:laq018.laq@gmail.com) Discord: laq4381 DMs are always open

This would go for Conquest mods as well. It is strange and peculiar as the Germans to be fighting “initial” battles against the Soviet Union with nothing better than a Panzer II Ausf C, or to have to unlock an 81mm mortar or a light howitzer that was standard in the TOE even in 1939. This is even more pronounced because the Conquest campaign map is rarely big enough to get to the end of the tech tree before you run out of maps to play.
I wonder if it would be possible to have the tiers up to 1941 unlocked, and for Sovs to have a purchasing weight oriented towards the lighter stuff up to T-28 for a few turns, and maybe have efficiency buffs for the crews nerfed (so that even if you encounter a KV-1 or T-34 in the early phase, it’ll perform poorly/slowly), rather than a tech rushing situation like currently exists. Expense of the unit, and crew capability should be the balancing factor for early conquest, not necessarily tech points to unlock tech the countries involved should already have.
Similarly, United States should be unlocked up to 1942 (and a German opponent should have purchasing poweAI logic reflective of that year). Finland and USSR should begin in 1939.
Thoughts?

TL;DR Mawage. Mawage is what bwings us togethah today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wifin a dream!
Our Chairman and these Regarded APES have come here to make this tweasured agweement in front of their family and fwiends, pwomising their commitment in this holy and magnificent pwace, today and each day fowawd.
We would not be here today without wuv. Wuv, twoo wuv between these two. Twoo wuv will follow you forevah, so tweasure your wuv, Mr. Chairman with your Highly Regarded Apes, always.
My wife of 21yrs, who is pursuing her doctorate in Psychology to enhance her Marriage and Family counseling practice, has always been a supportive listener, especially throughout this saga. We watched together the events in 2021 unfold in real-time and in a recent discussion concerning market manipulations and the media's role in it all she interjected with unexpected psychological insights. What felt like a gentle change in the subject matter led to an unexpected and insightful conversation about narcissists, divorcing a narcissist, and the tactics of navigating them in your personal and professional lives.
Miracle Max: “'To blave.' And as we all know, 'to blave' means 'to bluff.' So, you're probably playing cards and he cheated…”
Did you know that there are divorce attorneys who specialize in dealing with cases involving narcissistic spouses? These attorneys are typically well-versed in high-conflict divorce scenarios and understand the psychological dynamics that can arise when one party exhibits narcissistic behaviors. They focus on strategies to manage manipulation, gaslighting, and other tactics that a narcissistic spouse might use to control or prolong legal proceedings.
Specialized attorneys in this area offer guidance on how to maintain clear and documented communication, set firm boundaries, and protect oneself legally and emotionally. Their expertise is particularly valuable in helping clients navigate the complexities of custody battles, financial disputes, and other contentious issues where a narcissistic spouse may attempt to use legal strategies to their advantage.
During our conversation my highly regarded ape-ette, outlined a total of 7 “Acts” in the Narcissist’s playbook.”

1. Denial
2. Minimization
3. Deflection
4. Rationalization
5. Displacement
6. Generalization
7. Victim Blaming

If you have ever had dealings with a Narcissist you know all to well these acts are rarely played in any kind of orderly fashion. Infact, their “playbill” is so well known that a short poem was created by Dyana Craig called “The Narcissist's Prayer”:

1. That didn't happen.
2. And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
3. And if it was, that's not a big deal.
4. And if it is, that's not my fault.
5. And if it was, I didn't mean it.
6. And if I did, you deserved it.

For the purposes of this post and to fully wrap our heads around the manipulative actions by those in the media, the financial system, in government, or our personal lives, we expanded upon the above as follows:

1. "That did not occur."
2. "And if it did, it was not that severe."
3. "And if it was, it is not a significant matter."
4. "And if it is, it is not my fault."
5. "And if it was, I did not intend it."
6. "And if I did, there were extenuating circumstances."
7. "And if there weren't, you provoked me into it."
8. "And if you didn't, others would have reacted the same way."
9. "And if they wouldn’t, the real issue is being blown out of proportion."
10. "And if it isn't, everyone makes mistakes."
11. "And if they don’t, I am under a lot of stress."
12. "And if I did, you deserved it."

These 12 narcissistic acts can be grouped into these stages that reflect a progression in the way responsibility, blame, and reality are manipulated by the media.
Stage 1: Denial

• "That did not occur." - Absolute refusal to acknowledge the reality of the event.

Stage 2: Minimization

• "And if it did, it was not that severe."
• "And if it was, it is not a significant matter." - These steps serve to downplay the severity and importance of the event, suggesting it is unworthy of concern or reaction.

Stage 3: Deflection

• "And if it is, it is not my fault."
• "And if it was, I did not intend it." - Shifts focus from the act itself to the intention behind it or external factors, deflecting responsibility away from the self.

Stage 4: Rationalization

• "And if I did, there were extenuating circumstances."
• "And if there weren't, you provoked me into it."
• "And if you didn't, others would have reacted the same way." - Attempts to provide reasons or excuses for the behavior that justify it or align it with normal responses.

Stage 5: Displacement

• "And if they wouldn’t, the real issue is being blown out of proportion." - This step attempts to shift the discussion from the actions to the reactions of others, suggesting an overreaction.

Stage 6: Generalization

• "And if it isn't, everyone makes mistakes."
• "And if they don’t, I am under a lot of stress." - These steps attempt to dilute personal responsibility by invoking common human faults or personal stress, suggesting that any errors are part of broader, understandable human conditions.

Stage 7: Victim Blaming

• "And if I did, you deserved it." - The final step, which shifts all remaining blame to the victim, positioning them as deserving of the actions or consequences.

These stages reflect a progression from outright denial to subtle and overt forms of manipulation, ending with a complete inversion of blame. Each stage is designed to protect the narcissist’s self-image and deflect any responsibility for their actions onto others or external circumstances.
For those of use that have been around since the beginning and has endured all of the above reminds me of one of my favorite parts in the Princess Bride:
Westley: Aha! Your pig fiance is too late! A few more steps and we'll be safe in the fire swamp. Buttercup: We'll never survive. Westley: Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has. Westley: It's not that bad...Well I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here but the trees are actually quite lovely.
We begin unwinding all financial and manipulative aspects of the now very dead relationship that once existed. We document everything and those weary and nervous and we pick back up with…
Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too…
We navigate the shills, the media pundits, and hedge fund market making Mayo loving thunts, aka the R.O.U.S’s. Through it all, we arrive at the events of the day! Our mascot triumphantly returns and now the Media is pulling a Prince Humperdink as if we are going to fall for it.
Buttercup: We did it! Westley: Now, was that so terrible? Humperdink: Surrender! Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well then, I accept. Humperdink: I give you full marks for bravery. Don't make yourself a fool. Westley: Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire swamp. We can live there happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.
Navigating and enduring the demise of your first narcissist relationship is, in my opinion, the fire swamp. Reading all the DD ( • )( • ) and easily recognizing all of manipulations and cheating tactics being used and not reacting to them is what makes apes say “We can live there happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.”
Last but not least… our current marriage to our chairman, is bliss compared to our prior sham marriage where belief in a free and fair once existed. Remember, narcissists are married to the devil for time and all eternity!
I share this so that further discussion can continue and help everyone understand the kinds of people we are up against. They will never change, they will never care, and if they are fined or even found guilty of a crime, they will always and forever be the victim.

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temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, 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weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

Last week in a post-deleted by the OP, there was discussion about how there is no point in stockpiling antibiotics and any attemps for lay people to practice any form of health care in a widespread grid down disaster was a waste of time
Myself and some colleagues wrote: Survival and Austere Medicine
Edit. New link. in a post below.
We are slowing working on a 4th edition with some new material and minor corrections - but it is taking longer than we thought!
But I thought given the above post, I would take the opportunity to post the introduction - which address the "why bother" question for a major long-term grid down situation. Apologies for the formatting and length
"There is a sense, when considering the issues around survival medicine practice, that everything is overwhelming, that it is impossible for lay people to provide a high level of medical care and maintain a high level of population health.
We don’t think this is the case at all. We believe that intelligent lay people with some basic medical knowledge, skills, and equipment can deliver high quality health care. While it is obviously impossible for lay people to safely and competently deal with every medical problem, and there remain many complicated diagnoses requiring equally complicated or technologically advanced treatments, for 80- 90% of the health problems afflicting humanity, simple things done well are all that is required to preserve life and limb and help alleviate suffering.
Consider the following:
1. Remote Medicine Practice:
Below are the results of one of our author’s experience in the provision of health care in various remote and austere locations (some third world, some first world) to nearly four thousand people over a cumulative 30-month period (spread over 18 years) – with more data there are few minor changes from the 2005 2nd edition, but the list is essentially the same – which is interesting. The record keeping was a bit unreliable at times, but the following summary is reasonably accurate.
Top 20 presentations (representing > 95% of consultations):
1. Minor musculoskeletal injuries - ankle sprains most common, included many minor fractures which didn’t require more than diagnosis and simple care
2. Upper respiratory tract infections
3. Allergic reactions/Hay feveAnaphylactic reactions/Rashes
4. Minor open wounds – included a mix of lacerations needing closure, many needing
cleaning and advice only, and some infected wounds
5. Gastroenteritis/Vomiting/Diarrhoea
6. Mental health problems
7. Sexual health/Contraceptive problems
8. Skin infections/Cellulitis
9. Dental problems
10. Abdominal pain - 4 confirmed acute appendix (2 treated with IV antibiotics and
subsequent delayed appendix removal / 2 required evacuation) + 1 gangrenous gall bladder. Many were "no cause found". Of the remainder with a clear diagnosis the most common were renal or biliary colic)
11. Fever /Viral illness
12. Chest infections
13. Major musculoskeletal injuries (fractures/dislocations)
14. Asthma
15. Ear infections
16. Urinary tract infections
17. Burns – mostly partial thickness within the realms of management in the environment the
patient was in. Several required evacuations. Several required rehabilitation due to location and sub-optimal initial treatment.
18. Chest pain
19. Syncope/Collapse/Faints
20. Early pregnancy problems
Major trauma was uncommon but was seen including several fractured femurs and a dozen cases of multi-system severe trauma resulting in a mix of in-country surgery and evacuations
Top 12 prescribed drugs (representing >90% of medications prescribed):
1. Paracetamol (Acetaminophen)
2. Loratadine (and other assorted antihistamines)
3. Diclofenac (and other assorted antiinflammatories)
4. Combined oral contraceptive
5. Flucloxacillin
6. Throat lozenges
7. Augmentin (Amoxycillin + clavulanic acid)
8. Loperamide
9. Nystatin (and other antifungals)
10. Hydrocortisonecream
11. Ventolininhalers(Salbutamol/Albuterol)
12. Morphine
What is of note here is that the clear majority of problems dealt with are simple and straight forward – there is still potential for serious consequences but there is scope for a well-informed lay person with a basic knowledge and access to a reasonable collection of reference books to provide reasonable care. Equally the vast majority of medication prescribed are from a very narrow well defined list – despite the fact 1000’s of drugs are on the market – the list of core lifesaving or comfort preserving ones is relatively brief.
2. Why children die
The World Health Organization (WHO) has identified the following conditions as having contributed to >75% of worldwide deaths in the under 5-year age group (in no particular order):
Pneumonia Pneumonia is an infection of lungs. Prevention of this condition is somewhat limited – although good nutrition, clean and warm housing, and a reduction in the exposure to respiratory irritants (smoke) all can help. However, the most common bacteria which cause pneumonia are frequently sensitive to penicillin – which is discussed later in the book and can be produced in a low-tech environment.
Diarrhea Death from diarrhea (dehydration) is almost 100% preventable with appropriate use of oral rehydration therapy. Dirty water or poor food handling causes much diarrhea – this can be virtually eliminated by proper hygiene practices and care with drinking water.


Pre-term delivery While we are limited in the direct interventions available in an austere environment to mitigate this problem contributing factors to early labor are young age, malnutrition, smoking, poor maternal health, so there is scope for indirect intervention based on optimizing mum’s health and environment. For babies who are born prematurely the necessities of life are warmth and breast milk. With attention to detail for both things, it is possible for infants as young as 33-34 weeks to survive without high-tech intervention.
Malaria. Prevention is better than a cure, knowledge about clearing stagnant water, mosquito nets and long sleeved clothes can significantly reduce the risk. Equally quinine is derived from the bark of the Chincona tree and the Chinese have been using the herb, Artemisinin, effectively for the treatment of Malaria for years. So, while not as easy to treat or prevent as diarrhea, there is still scope for significant reduction in death rates in low-tech ways.
Blood infection Blood infection or septicemia is rapidly fatal. The ability to intervene depends on the cause of the infection and antibiotics available. Broadly, infections causing septicemia can originate from the skin, the lungs, the kidneys or bladder, and the abdominal contents. While specific treatments for these may be lacking in an austere environment – all have prevention strategies and basic low-tech treatments that can be lifesaving when applied appropriately.
Lack of oxygen at birth Of these problems, this is the one with probably the least scope for impact. Unfortunately, even if foetal distress is detected during labor (with heart beat monitoring or signs of distress like meconium), without the ability to deliver the baby quickly options are limited. That said, a caesarian section is not a massively complicated operation (and discussed in Chapter 10), and in parts of the third world is performed by trained lay people with safety and success.
Measles Again, there is limited scope to intervene directly with the disease. Measles is always around and while vaccination reduced the incidence of epidemics, sporadic cases still occur. In the absence of vaccinations epidemics of measles every few years will be inevitable. There is however some scope to minimize the spread during an epidemic with isolation and respiratory precautions during outbreaks. While some of the serious neurological complications are unavoidable in a
Prevention is better than a cure, knowledge about clearing stagnant water, mosquito nets and long sleeved clothes can significantly reduce the risk. Equally quinine is derived from the bark of the Chincona tree and the Chinese have been using the herb, Artemisinin, effectively for the treatment of Malaria for years. So, while not as easy to treat or prevent as diarrhea, there is still scope for significant reduction in death rates in low-tech ways. small number of patients, basic care such as maintaining hydration can also prevent complications such as dehydration.
Neonatal tetanus The prevention of neonatal tetanus is easy. You don’t let the site where the umbilical cord attaches to the baby get dirty. It is as simple as that.
HIV/AIDS Prevention of maternal infection is the key to prevention of infection of newborns. The steps required to prevent exposure to the HIV virus are widely known: abstinence (not undertaking sexual activity), monogamy (maintaining a single sex partner rather than multiple) and if neither is a palatable option, then safe sexual practices.
Most the conditions above have an element of either preventability or the ability to be treated to some degree in an austere environment and significant improvements in mortality and morbidity can be made.

3. The greatest advances in medicine
Several years ago the British Medical Journal ran a poll trying to identify top medical advances of the last 200 years. The following is the top 12 from that poll:
Sanitation 1st Antibiotics 2nd Anaesthesia 3rd Vaccines 4th DNA 5th Germ theory 6th = The oral contraceptive 6^th = Evidence based medicine 8th Imaging 9th Computers 10th Oral rehydration therapy 11th Smoking cessation 12th =
Just as with our discussion above about the causes of childhood deaths, this list is introduced to show just how much impact a very basic health care knowledge can have in terms of optimising health in a post-disaster or austere situation.
Of the biggest advances of medicine in the last 200 years, between 7 to 9 (depending on your knowledge and available resources) of the 12 can be applied to care in a austere situation. In particular, the knowledge of sanitation, germ theory, oral rehydration therapy, and simple manufactured antibiotics and anaesthetic agents all have the potential to be able to be continued to be applied in a post-disaster situation and to continue to contribute to a high quality of low-tech health care. In the same way that we can substantially reduce childhood death rates in a low tech post-disaster situation, we can still continue to have access to some of the biggest advances in medicine even at the end of the world.
4. Surgery in the third world
A non-specialist surgeon working at a isolated bush hospital in Papua New Guinea published his experience of Emergency Surgery over a 14 month period (similar articles have been published with similar data):
Emergency Surgery 243
Tendon repair 33 Open orthopaedics 32 Dilation and curettage 31 General surgery 29 Incision and drainage 26 Laceration repair 26 Obstetrics 23 Manipulation under anaesthesia 15 Urology 15 Gynaecology 9 Ear, nose and throat 2
Emergency anaesthesia 243
Ketamine – spontaneous breathing 166 Local anaesthesia 33 Ketamine – ventilated 16 Spinal anaesthesia 12 Propofol / thiopentone 10 Epidural 5 Epidural / GA 1
The point of this reference is to help illustrate what someone can achieve in primitive conditions with no formal surgical training and no dedicated anaesthetist. We are not suggesting that the average layperson can safely practice to this extent or breadth of surgery, but it does demonstrate that a non-surgeon can achieve much. It also shows that most anaesthetics for surgery in an austere situation can be done under local or ketamine anaesthetics.
Why this is relevant?
Each of these four references gives you insights, one way or another, into low-tech austere health care. First, it gives you an insight into the likely clinical problems that you may see in a survival situation, and how much can be dealt with in that sort of austere environment. Second, it demonstrates how medically speaking it is the small things and simple knowledge which save lives and some of the biggest killers can be mitigated with these relatively low level interventions or strategies.
In our opening summary – “Medicine at that end of the world”, we describe a pretty bleak medical reality post-SHTF. Will million’s really die from lack of access to modern heath care as we have alleged?
The short answer is yes – many will die much sooner than they otherwise would have, from disease and injury, which currently are not immediately fatal. But the answer is not nearly that simple nor bleak. The reality is that while cancer, diabetes, malnutrition or serious injury may claim many of its victim’s sooner than with today’s health care, most health problems can be treated or mitigated to a degree in a low- tech environment, with a narrow range of medications and interventions – including some cancers, non- insulin requiring diabetes and many major traumatic injuries.
Most medical problems are relatively mundane and not life threatening. Truly catastrophic problems in medicine are fortunately rare. You should focus on learning and preparing to deal with the common problems, and doing common procedures well, and you will save lives, and possibly also improve the quality of those lives.
There will be a significant change to health care but with knowledge and some preparation it isn’t quite as dire as many (including our own opening paragraph) predict. "

So I ordered a bulk of something I like to eat from dollar. I ordered 92 of them. First of all the shipping took an entire extra week to get to the store. Then I go to the store to pick it up and two different assistant managers refuse to give me my product and tell me to come back another day. After the second time I just called and cancelled.
I didn't factor in lazy assistant managers not feeling like doing their jobs and telling me to come back in later so they can pass the work off to someone else.
I use to work for dollar tree and remember having assistant managers. It's a want dollar tree. Not a need. I'm not going up there on my day off nearly two weeks after my I was supposed to get my package. Thank you for saving me $120.

Hey, so I’ve been crunching some social media related data to gauge what factors are contributing the most to high video reach/views on TikTok and wanted to utilize predictive classification to do so. The decision tree doesn’t run when I click ‘Go’ for some reason, but it does allow me to make splits. I made 8 splits and was finally able to get the results I needed, but when I re-ran the model, I got slightly different results with different R² and G² values. Sometimes the model won’t even run and sometimes it will without me making any alterations, I’m not sure why this is happening. Please let me know if there’s a way to fix this or if there’s any additional information I can provide.
I’m using JMP Pro 16
EDIT: Also if this isn’t the right sub, is there another one I could post to with the same question? Thanks

Hi,
I am a Lazarus Survivor and I came back with a link from the dimension of the dead. There's a difference between incinerated dead and buried dead. The corpse is a beacon between both worlds and you still feel your corpse after clinical death in the Subconscious Zone. In Memory. You also smell your stench and the burning of the incinerator resulting in a disappearance.

• Memory Sensory Dimension = Buried dead of the family tree. In the Sensory-Memory Dimension.
  
• Incineration = Lost of Sentience or disappearance. In the Photo-Magnetic Dimension.
  

The Subconscious Backroom aka The Sensory-Memory-Dimension.
The hivemind connection of the Sensory-Memory-Dimension through the Subconscious Zone. Where the Collective-Subconscious of every sentient of our planet generates a dimension through what the sensory of our specie flows and assimilates every day. A gateway to other dimensions and the home of dead sentient organic intelligence and sentient predators from other dimensions.
Sensory Dimension Sentient Predators = Capable of generating illusions through our organic sensory.
Dead mammals are in primal mode in this dimension and are being preyed upon by central nodes of instinct manipulated by a very ancient central hivemind. Including dead primates like ourselves.
For them we are Sensorient Sentient Intelligence.
Providing Sensory Information through our bio-sensors.
lazarus survivor.
æ ...
The Net of Death.
The Necronic Zone Dimension.
The third phase of organic life after decomposition. The dead body decomposes and merges with nature. Then the dead bio-processor of the dead sentience becomes one with the dimension of fungi and trees leaving behind parts of it's dna and thoughts from the subconscious. Giving personality traits to the descendants.
This is the ancestry link from the living organics to the Sensory-Memory-Dimension if you don't incinerate the dead of your families. The ancestry of the tree are the people we speak with before being born. Seeing memories of their death through dna memory.
We can see fragments of those memories before the age of five years old.
There is two things in the universe.
-The Numeral Proportions of Reality.
-And Intelligence(Us) as the processing factor of Reality through sensory.
Human Intelligence by 4 Dimentions. -Lucid Conscious (Us)(Calculus). -Sub Conscious (Sensory Reactive Intelligence)(Instinct). -Repetitive Memory. -The Bio-Organic-Engine of the Body(Hunger. Thirst. Needs)
The 5th dimension of human intelligence is the reality of the day that bounces in between the mind and generates reactive thoughts.
lazarus survivor.
æ ...
The Wall of Time.
Is where we are in Time. Now freeze Time and rewind it. The wall goes back and everything is Grey and Black with blurry shapes. If you don't follow it you desintegrate. Electric Burning Sensations. You have to be in the Wall of Time. The Wall of Time is where we are in the present.
Imagine the Milky Way in a turbine. With the downflow of events in wavelength. Where the information of Time goes outside of the box of our dimension is unknown with quantum numeral proportions of reality.
The Big Bang is a crack from Dimension Zero with the stream of our dimension in a flow of Time going one way and spreading into a spherical shape. Forming a turbine with a flow of Time in a different a proportion of size.
The 4 Dimensions are:
-The flow of Time. -Space Empty and Full. -Intelligence as the processing factor of reality through sensory. -Information created and used by Intelligence.
The 5th dimension is the gateway to the outside of a 4 dimentional reality.
The Dimension outside of our universe is a dimension when Time has frozen.
Time isn't an illusion. We are stuck in the Wall of Time.
lazarus survivor.
æ ...

9-minute read.

France welcomes the latest round of negotiations between foreign ministers of Armenia and Azerbaijan in Kazakhstan

FM Mirzoyan said the negotiations in Kazakhstan were held in a constructive environment and referred to the statement made after the meeting.
PARIS: France stresses the importance of both sides confirming their commitment to the Almaty Protocol of 1991 and to mutual recognition of each other’s territorial integrity as the core of this process, following the quadripartite meeting in Prague on 7 October 2022.
France calls to continue the delimitation of the border on the basis of the principles agreed in the declaration of April 19, 2024, and as an extension of the first demarcation work carried out on the ground. At the same time, it calls for continuing discussions with a view to signing a peace treaty between the two countries.
France welcomes the initiative of the Kazakh authorities to facilitate the holding of these talks.
France continues to work together with its partners to establish just and solid peace in the South Caucasus in accordance with international law. //
source, source, source, source,

OSCE: Reaching stable and comprehensive peace between Armenia and Azerbaijan remains a priority for us

OSCE Chair-in-Office Ian Borg visited Armenia on Monday.
BORG: The only way to ensure comprehensive and stable peace is through diplomacy. The steps made towards border delimitation between Armenia and Azerbaijan are the actions needed to reach peace. //
Pashinyan and Borg discussed the AM-OSCE cooperation and the peace talks.
BORG: The OSCE is committed to supporting stable peace, solving all conflicts in the OSCE area, and applying the organization’s mandate to ensure regional peace and stability. //
source, source,

opposition activists detained and released after briefly shutting down several streets in Yerevan

Last week the protest organizers, led by Archbishop Bagrat and MPs representing pro-Russian parties, called for strikes and road closures on Monday. They demand PM Pashinyan's resignation. The opposition parties have not yet disclosed when they plan to launch the impeachment process in the parliament. They likely have the minimum number of MPs to launch the impeachment but they'd still need dozens of ruling party MPs to join them for the motion to succeed, which is unlikely.
On Monday over 170 people were detained and released after blocking roads, including with the use of trash cans and hay. A red beret pushed a journalist out of his way while running up the stairs, sending him to the ground. Another journalist fainted during a clash between police and protesters. In the morning, Yandex Maps showed the traffic congestion in Yerevan at Level 5 on a scale of 1-10, a "usual workday".
In one instance, an angry driver got out of his car and pushed the trash can out of the street, while other cars proceeded to drive through the sparse group of protesters. Video.
ARF MP Garnik Danielyan, a co-organizer of the protest, engaged in a dispute with a driver. The angry driver told the MP to go "siktir", while the MP called him "chatlax". Video.
One protester suggested catching and "putting down" police officers one by one while they are alone, "because they feel good in large numbers." Video.
A psychotic incident was recorded between a protester and a bystandedriver who was presumably trying to open the road. The protester hit the man and called him "Nikol's trash". The police intervened to push the protesters out of the road.
During an encounter between a protester and one resident, the protester asked the latter if he was a Christian:
PROTESTER: Քրիստոնյա՞ ես
RESIDENT: Հա
PROTESTER: Հա ու համփ արա [suck my dick]
The resident pushes the protester, and the protester spits on him. Several people got off the buses and urged the protesters to leave or to "go protect the borders" instead. The red berets arrived within minutes and removed the trash cans and the small number of protesters from the road. video, video, video,
While the ARF has long been viewed as the voice of diaspora, other movements have emerged to challenge its dominance. The Armenian Movement of France has organized a change.org petition that calls to encourage Armenia's independence and Euro-Atlantic integration, to keep the church and state separate, and not take any destabilizing actions.
KHURSHUDYAN: They [ARF and protest organizers] are attempting to convince the diaspora to join them by influencing various organizations like the Lemkin Institute. It is strange that the Lemkin Institute released a statement accusing PM Pashinyan's Genocide statement of containing "victim blaming" only now, during these protests, several weeks after Pashinyan made that statement. It took a lot of effort for these forces to lobby and create the impression that the diaspora as a whole is on their side. //
The BEVER (Sasna Tsrer) party leaders said they are cooperating with the pro-Russian former regime parties but only on the issues of removing Pashinyan and stopping the border delimitation process.
BEVER (Ara Papyan): If Pashinyan resigns now and pro-Russian forces win the elections democratically, it will be the population's fault, not ours. // video
As you know from Sunday news digest, the pro-Russian forces and a group of ex-diplomats led by Kocharyan's Foreign Minister Vardan Oskanian, are against using the 1991 Almaty declaration as the basis for delimitation. Foreign Minister Mirzoyan was asked to comment on Monday.
MIRZOYAN: The Deputy PMs of Armenia and Azerbaijan, who are in charge of border commissions, have come to an agreement to launch the delimitation process taking into account the 1991 Almaty Declaration. This was welcomed by numerous states and international organizations. The foreign diplomats you mentioned are deserters who fled their duties while Armenia was under physical attack in 2021. I can no longer treat them seriously. That is the most civil language I can use toward them. In reality, by torpedoing the Almaty Declaration and the peace process based on Almaty, these ex-diplomats continue to torpedo the sovereignty, statehood, and territorial integrity of Armenia. In the best-case scenario, they do this without understanding, and in the worst-case scenario, they are following the orders of a foreign state. I don't have further comments. //
Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan said they will not hold daily meetings at Republic Square anymore, and that smaller gatherings will be held near the St. Anna church every evening to wrap up the day and discuss future plans. Yesterday Arman Babajanyan revealed a meeting between church officials. On Monday, Archbishop Galstanyan confirmed that he indeed met Catholicos on Sunday. Galstanyan was asked whether he plans to "transfer" the "leadership" of the movement to political parties. He said he is open to that idea: "Թող գան, վերցնեն, ով ցանկանում է:"
source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source,

Executive Vice President of the European Commission for Economic Affairs, the EU Trade Commissioner, will visit Armenia this week

Valdis Dombrovskis will meet Armenian and EBRD officials and take part in an annual meeting of the EBRD Board of Governors.
source, source,

PM Pashinyan is in Denmark for the "Copenhagen Democracy Summit"

Nikol Pashinyan will take part in the discussion on “From the frontline: Armenia’s defense of democracy.”
source,

Armenia will bring its consumer protection legislation in line with European standards

The head of Armenia's Competition Protection Commission visited Poland to participate in ICPEN (International Consumer Protection and Enforcement Network).
They spoke about unfair business practices and how to combat them, online taxi service regulations, online casinos, discounting policies used by businesses, etc.
GEVORGYAN: Armenia is going through an important phase in terms of protecting the interests of consumers. Discussions are underway to align Armenia's consumer protection legislation with EU standards. It is necessary to use digital technologies and train skilled experts in this field.
source,

Russia begins withdrawing border agents near the border village Nerkin Hand: residents

The villagers noticed that the Russian soldiers were no longer observing the traffic from the observation post and that they were packing some of their stuff.
source, source,

anti-corruption: Patrol Police officer is charged with accepting a bribe from a driver

INTERIOR MINISTRY: In early March, two officers pulled over an Indian driver on Kievyan St. One of the officers demanded a ֏20,000 bribe to ignore the fact that the vehicle didn't pass a tech inspection. They negotiated it down to ֏7,000. The officer was charged with felony bribery. He confessed. The case is in court. //
source,

Yerevan Mayor Avinyan had a lightbulb moment

The city has purchased 6,000 LED lights producing 4000K white light. Mayor Avinyan instructed the department to install them only on roads and to purchase weaker 3000K bulbs for condo backyards in order not to disrupt sleep.
Last month the city replaced 8.6 kilometers of cables. The Mother Armenia statue and the Opera building will have new գեղարվեստական lighting.
source, source, video,

Yerevan implements GIS (geographic information system) to collect data from various sources and make targeted decisions based on visualized data: VIDEO

MAYOR AVINYAN: The Municipality and all the district offices are switching to a new management style with the introduction of GIS. Every department will join it, phase by phase. We are talking about digital maps which we must learn to use. This is going to significantly simplify some of the work done by departments.
OFFICIAL: This is part of the digitization strategy. This unified GIS platform will collect information from the cadastre, transport, Active Citizen app, utility services, construction, etc., and make them accessible in one place. The visual data allow us to carry out analysis and make fact-based decisions.
For example, we created a cadastre GIS by using a satellite image as the base layer, then integrated it with the cadastre database. This map shows in detail the boundaries of properties, the purpose and status of each land plot, etc.
Another example is a map of air pollution, prior records, and analytical tools.
The GIS map for the Active Citizen app allows us to see the submissions and the completed work, their locations on the map, and how well the city responds to issues reported by citizens. You can filter the issues by category. For example, you can show only the reports about illegal dumping, click on the report and see the image shared by the citizen, then click to see the status and the outcome of city's response. The tools allow you to analyze the data and the performance rate.
Another map shows the 3D image of the city with its buildings and green areas. Here we can calculate the capacity of bus stops, etc. Drones can be used to create a very detailed digital 3D copy of specific buildings.
You can click on a land plot and it'll pull up the ownership information, the permit records, etc.
Connecting two dots shows you the altitude differences and other data that you can use, for example, during the installation of irrigation pipes.
This is less than 1% of its potential. We plan to train employees next week.
MAYOR AVINYAN: We should make some of this data public, like the air quality map or certain maps that did not require financial resources to create [քձիբ խոզ]. This is a revolutionary change in the municipality. We need to speed up the work with the use of digital tools.
video,

Yerevan begins planting hundreds of adult "high-value" trees and thousands of bushes near the new promenade/park around the Yerevanyan Lake: VIDEO

video,

Central Bank chief was invited to Parliament to discuss economy and expenditures

MP: Regarding CB's report on the efficiency of service vehicles used by state agencies. The state buildings scheduled to receive solar panels should also be equipped with EV chargers so the service vehicles can use the energy generated by the panels. I requested information from Yerevan Municipality about the service vehicle expenditures and it shows that EVs are not only cheaper because of electricity, but also because they are overall more affordable to maintain. We are talking about large savings.
CB CHIEF: Our estimates show that EVs are 2x-3x more affordable compared to combustion engine vehicles, even if we factor in all the adjacent expenses. In Yerevan, we have [state] buildings with solar panels on roofs but [connecting them to EV chargers in the parking lot] will be very difficult because these are old and sometimes "historical" buildings. They also have problems with air conditioning, plumbing, etc. At the same time, we are trying to implement this solar panel project in the newer buildings, for example, in Dilijan, where we have EV chargers for service vehicles in the parking lots.
video,

Central Bank chief spoke about the deflation in Q1

RULING MP: It is great for our residents' pockets that the prices have fallen but what is its effect on the economy and exports? What is the best inflation rate to maintain a "balance"?
CB CHIEF: During the discussions with our colleagues from IMF, regarding regional and global events, we agreed that countries develop when the inflation is low and manageable. It encourages investments. In this regard, the overall microeconomic stability and the fiscal policy of Armenia create a very good environment for this predictability. This is one of our "cards" in our relations with foreign entities.
During each CB session, we discuss several market and inflation scenarios. Under one scenario there is a risk of inflation becoming too high, while under other scenarios it could remain low. We are trying to find the most balanced option and thank God we have been able to continuously lower the [refinancing] rates, which helps the state. //
Ըստ զեկուցողիդրամավարկային քաղաքականության ծրագրում ներկայացվող սցենարների համաձայն 2024 թվականի կարճաժամկետ հորիզոնում գնաճը կպահպանվի նպատակային ցուցանիշից ցածր մակարդակում` տարեվերջին այն կկազմի 1,3%-1,5%:
video, source,

Central Bank chief spoke about the refinancing rate, the rate at which the state borrows from banks, copper prices, etc.

video,

how did the family of Ilham Aliyev's security chief obtain so many properties in the United Kingdom?

Offshore companies owned by Eyyubov’s wife and daughter spent $114 million on real estate in the United Kingdom. The family, including Eyyubov himself, also own over $46 million in properties in Dubai.

OCCRP report,

growing concerns in Abkhazia that Putin might have secretly "sold" them to Georgia as a confederation in exchange for Georgia's neutrality between West and Russia

video,

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dead in the next 24 hours.
Whether that's the Costella family, or whatever this is, I'm not sure.
The police are taking forever, and part of me knows they're either refusing to believe me, or RC got them too.
I'm holed up on our school bus, so I've got nothing better to do.
I want to tell you about my team.
We met in our sophomore year.
Strangers standing outside the club room.
Levi was the freckled brunette who wouldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones.
Sunny, a pretty redhead, told him to shut up.
Tom, a sandy blonde, nodding his head to music corked in his ears.
I just wanted to be part of a club, and get away from my overbearing mother.
I won't say it was a perfect start. Our school was lacking in funding, so anyone could join, which made us more of a Quiz Club. I had some serious anxiety, so I stayed on the sidelines for a while, watching, rather than taking part.
It's not like we actually talked to each other initially. The first few weeks, we played Jeopardy, and attempted to find more members to cement us as an official Academic Decathlon club.
Unfortunately, though, it was just the four of us.
Which made it extremely hard for us to be taken seriously.
According to Google, Academic Decathlon teams were made up of nine members, placed by their GPA.
Our principal laughed at us, but he did let us become official.
Which was out of pity, I assumed.
The club was assembled, and we started meeting up after school.
Sort of.
Sunny barely showed up, and Levi didn't take anything seriously, preferring to spend the time telling us about his weird family turf-war.
Our principal dumped us in a tiny classroom with a resident rat living under the floorboards.
There was barely enough room to move, and the four of us crammed together for three hours was less than appealing.
Still, though, I wanted to be part of a club.
I had grown up with parents who were obsessed with board games, so I was pretty good at general knowledge questions. Our club room was too small for anything else but three desks (Sunny and I shared one) and a whiteboard we had to shove through the door.
But, again, we didn't start as an Academic club.
It was more akin to Story Time Club.
Arriving late on my third day, armed with quiz cards from home, I found Tom and Sunny completely mesmerised by Levi’s storytelling skills, drowned in shadow.
They didn't even turn the lights on.
I strictly remember squeezing next to Sunny, and hearing the words, “But there was so much blood all over the floor, and my Mom told me to go upstairs and hide under the bed…”
Sitting in front of them was Levi, perched on a desk, his legs swinging, a whiteboard marker between his teeth.
Sometimes he'd get up, and illustrate parts of his story.
It sucked that his drawings were all stick people.
I won't go into full details of his life, but Levi grew up as part of a family who had… interesting methods of making a living. I had seen the guy’s father multiple times when we hung out at his place, and, yeah, my friend’s family definitely had Soprano vibes.
Levi’s Draw My Life was nothing to do with the club, but it did bring us closer.
Even if, at that point, I was considering leaving.
But it's not like it was easy to walk away from these guys. It's like finding your soulmates. Levi wasn't the only one with an interesting life. Sunny Lang was an ex kpop trainee, who was kicked out for being too fat, which led her to develop a severe eating disorder, and a hatred for her own body.
Sunny explained her family were originally from Boston, her mother growing up in Korea.
She signed up for an idol agency focusing on creating a new girl group, and had gotten all the way to the final stages, before being kicked for her weight. Sunny told us her story with a smile, though there was a hollowness in her eyes I couldn't ignore. The other girls were judgemental bullies, and the idol diet and brutal regime almost killed her.
Sunny lived in a tiny apartment with 9 girls, who would tear each other apart for a chance to debut. Sunny said all the other girls debuted, and when we (not so patiently) asked for names, she shrugged, admitting she signed an NDA that prevented her spilling the beans.
What she did say, was the K-pop idol is a product, not a person– and are made and moulded into a product.
She had zero interest in throwing her humanity away to become a manufactured doll.
So, one of us was the son of an underground family, and the other was an ex idol.
Tom was an aspiring horror writer with a famous older step-brother.
His story times were usually, That one time I went to the Met Gala.
When it was my turn to reveal my story, I told them the only interesting thing about me.
I could smell when something bad was going to happen.
They laughed, but I was being serious.
When I was a kid, I smelled my mother’s brain tumor.
I remember it smelled like curdled milk.
I asked Mom why her head smelled of mouldy milk, and Mom laughed and said it was her shampoo.
It was actually a grade two tumor growing inside her brain.
Thankfully, the tumour was found quickly and removed.
Growing older, I became sensitive to smell. The little girl choking on the bus smelled of singed wood, and the old man crossing the road stunk of gasoline.
In the fourth grade, my classmate Alex Castor smelled of lemons all morning.
I sat behind him, choking on the stink all the way through class.
Ever since I met him, Alex had always smelled… off.
It was a distinct smell I could never understand, and as the days and months and years went by, that smell morphed into a subtle orangey musk that was so strong I had to cover my mouth and nose. Then, he smelled like lemons.
During Recess, I watched Alex fall off of the jungle gym, straight onto his head.
Alex Castor was dead before the paramedics arrived, my panicked teacher attempting CPR when his brains were leaking out of his ears.
The school claimed it was an accident, but Alex would have been fine if the jungle gym wasn't built on solid concrete.
I told my team members this, and Levi was sceptical.
“You can smell bad things?” He said, his lips curved around his milkshake straw. In the early days, we hung out in the local bar. It's not like we were allowed inside, but Levi could get us in anywhere.
I was squeezed between Tom and Sunny, while Levi took the seat opposite us. I couldn't help noticing our waitress was insisting on free milkshake refills, her frantic eyes glued to Levi.
I had zero idea why. Levi Costella was about as intimidating as a fruit fly.
Wearing a white shirt with a popped collar, a leather jacket thrown over the top, Levi was giving rebellious Harvard student, rather than son of a crime family.
Leaning forward, he raised a brow, clearly not believing me.
“So, you're like a stink psychic?”
I shrugged, sipping my own shake.
“Sure.”
I wasn't planning on telling him the club room smelled off on our first day.
Once we actually started the club, Levi surprised us as the smartest member, and getting to know him further, I came to the realization his family were infamous in our town.
However, his parents hid it well. Lucy and Michael Costella were the owners of a popular ramen store in our town, hiding under the facade of two successful business owners. The Costella’s were an attractive family.
Lucy was a sophisticated brunette with a lipstick smile, Michael, a handsome fluffy haired man who looked like he modelled glasses.
The two were fiercely protective over their youngest son, not so casually reminding us behind grinning smiles, that if anything happened to Levi, we would automatically be involved in the family.
I mean, they did laugh and say, “We’re joking! Look at your little faces!” when Sunny went deathly pale. But there was definitely truth behind their words.
Being Levi’s friend was… challenging at first.
Tom and I were in his room studying for finals, and an alarm went off, flooding Levi’s room in red light.
I had zero idea where it was coming from, but it locked all the doors and windows, forcing the Costella residence into temporary lockdown. Levi didn't seem fazed, casually mentioning his parents were taking care of it.
He had a whiteboard set up in his room, and was standing in front of it, cramming all of our textbook notes into one easily digestible drawing.
Levi wasn't just smart.
He was Ivy League smart, so we had struck gold with him.
His family were questionable, and yes, sometimes I did fear for my life, but as the more time we spent at his house, the Costella household became a second home. We got used to the alarms.
I just brought along ear plugs.
I wish I was writing this post about Levi’s family, and sure, they are a factor in what is going on right now, but I want to preface this by saying the events below involve the 2024 scholastic decathlon final in our town with the school’s listed:
Starbrook High School.
Ratcliffe High School.
Please note, the incident that took place last night was immediately covered up, and all phone footage was destroyed. Our town is mostly out of the way, and does not show up on Google searches.
We also have our own version of the academic decathlon, which is a more town-level competition, due to lacking funds. The four of us were desperate to start competing with our schools.
So, we started taking things a little more seriously.
We got a coach.
Mr Hanes, who was hesitant at first.
In his words, “You will hate me as your coach.”
He started by recruiting more members, announcing, “If you want to be taken seriously as an actual club, then I'll be taking the reins from now on.”
He did, and with our teachers guidance (and sometimes brutal honesty), we reached a level where we could start competing with other school’s in town. Now, none of us knew this, but Mr Hanes was obsessed with winning.
So, club meetings were twisted into two hour study sessions with no talking, followed by Mr Hanes Jeaprody, which was Jeaprody, without the actual fun.
We were quizzed multiple times, answer cards and practise questions quite literally thrown directly in our faces.
I hate to admit this (I really hate to admit this) but Mr Hanes’s tactics worked. Sure, we had been mildly brainwashed by our slightly unhinged coach, but with Levi Costella, we destroyed our competitors. Like I said, our town held their own version of the academic scholastic decathlon, but it was pretty much the same, with some changes.
Ten subjects. Language and Literature, Math, Social Science, Economics, Art, Music, Interview, Speech, and Essay.
Unlike the official Decathlon, ours was more like a game show, with the ability to be knocked out if a team member answers a question wrong. Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. Team meet ups were either tests, study sessions, or quizzing each other.
Which leads me to last night.
The finals were held in the reigning champions, Ratcliffe High School’s, auditorium.
And we were about to win our town’s Scholastic Decathlon 2024 Championships.
Well…I was knocked out in the music section. Standing next to my coach who I was sure was going to asphyxiate from excitement, I could smell the sudden potent stink of lemon. I tried to ignore it at first, but the more questions my team were answering correctly, the smell got worse, suffocating my senses.
This wasn't just lemon. The stink was like a burning, singing smell trickling into my nose and the back of my throat.
It was stronger than what Alex smelled like.
This was suffocating, drowning my thoughts.
“Are you okay, Cassandra?”
Mr Hanes nudged me when a Ratcliffe girl was struggling to answer a question, only for Sunny to jump in with the answer. “You look quite pale.”
I nodded, forcing a smile.
My gaze was on the Ratcliffe coach, a scary looking blonde woman, whispering in one of her student’s ears.
The Ratcliffe kid freaked me out. He was way too tall, dark blonde hair, and bulging eyes I swear were not blinking.
His gaze was glued to Levi, who wore a smug grin.
There was a smaller girl next to the Ratcliffe kid, a Macbook balanced on her knee. Every so often, he leaned into her, the two of them in deep conversation.
“I'm just nervous.”
I jumped when Ratcliffe scored a point, their side erupting into cheers.
During the break, we had a mini team meeting.
Sunny rushed to the bathroom to freshen up, and I noticed a Ratcliffe girl with a bouncing ponytail following her.
Ignoring our coach’s speech, I joined the two girls in the corridor, that lemony scent hanging thick in the air.
I caught them in an awkward position.
The Ratcliffe girl had her fingers pinched between the material of Sunny’s dark blue shirt bearing our school’s name.
Sunny looked confused, her lips parted like she was going to yell.
Ponytail dropped her hand, suddenly, with a nervous laugh. “Oh! I'm so, so, sorry,” she gushed. “You had, like, the biggest spider crawling on your back.”
Sunny caught my eye, shooting me a reassuring smile.
“Thanks.” She made sure to keep her distance. “Uh, where's your bathroom?”
The Ratcliffe girl nodded down the hallway. “It's just down there. I'm going there too if you want me to show you?”
Sunny motioned for me to go back to the auditorium. “Uh, sure! That'd be great!”
I did try to follow them, only for Sunny to cough loudly.
I took the hint, reluctantly heading back into the auditorium.
My team was hyping each other up, Levi in the centre, sweating through his team shirt. He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I can't do this,” He groaned. “Ratcliffe High is known to play dirty, man. They're unbeatable.”
“In what way do they play dirty?” I asked, joining them.
Levi gulped down water, shrugging.
“I dunno! They're already trying to distract me with the stink eye.” The boy narrowed his eyes at a grinning Ratcliffe kid who, after noticing our stares, jumped to his feet, waving at us.
“Hey guys!”
“That's Harry Cartwright, the son of the Cartwright family who tried to kill my parents in the third grade.” Levi mockingly waved back. “As you can see, their kid is a fucking sociopath.”
Huh. I wasn't expecting the smiley kid to be the mobster’s son.
Harry Cartwright was not what I expected.
Unlike his team members, he was the only one in casual clothing, a short sleeved white shirt and jeans, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head.
Tom went pale.
“Fuck.” He hissed. “He’s one of you? Then those bastards will have a reason to play dirty, right?”
Levi shrugged, averting his gaze. It was the first time I saw his eyes darken, like he was subtly telling the boy to back off.
“The Cartwright’s have been trying to buy our land for a while,” he muttered. “I wouldn't put it past them to use the Decathlon as a way to attack.”
“Attack?!” April, another member of our team, hissed. “Like, attack attack?”
Mr Hanes grabbed the boy, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders. “Ignore them,” he said. “Hey. Look at me.”
Levi did, raising a brow.
“You're losing that spark in your eye, young man.”
“Spark?”
Our coach nodded. “Look at me, kid.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “I am looking at you, Mr Hanes.”
The man was shaking. I was guessing his whole career (or coaching career) was on the line.
“They know they're losing, Mr Costella.”
Hanes shook the boy, squeezing his shoulders. “You are being positive and Ratcliffe doesn't like that. They want you to be nervous. They want to make you second guess yourself and lose confidence. Don't let them get into your head.” he smiled, giving the boy a playful shove. “Kick their asses.”
“Exactly!”
I didn't realize Sunny was back from the bathroom.
The faint smell of lemons had followed her. I noticed a wet patch on her shirt collar, though she was quick to smile at me, admitting she'd spilled water down herself. Sunny wrapped her arms around Levi, squeezing him into a hug.
She hung on for a little too long, Tom dragging her away with a laugh. “Good luck, all right?” she backed away, ruffling his hair. “We’ve got this!”
When I hugged Levi good luck too, I had to resist covering my nose.
The smell of lemon was unbearable, just like fourth grade Alex.
But it wasn't as potent as earlier.
I vaguely remembered the smell starting to fade once Alex’s body was being carted away on a stretcher.
Following my captain through the crowd, I was right. The smell was less suffocating. Before he went back to the stage, I grabbed the back of his shirt.
The material was soaking wet.
“How are you so wet?” I said, swiping my hands on my shirt.
“Huh?”
I shook my head. “Never mind. Do you remember what I told you in sophomore year?”
Levi settled me with a confident, but nervous smile. “Thaaaat you're scared of clowns?”
“No. I mean the boy who smelled of lemons.” I gritted out.
Levi surprised me with a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
Something ice cold trickled down my spine.
Levi did know what I was talking about. He brought up my stink sense a day earlier in front of his parents, and I had to cover his mouth to shut him up.
Leaning close, I whispered in his ear. “You stink of rotten lemons.”
He nodded slowly, pulling away. “Uh… thanks?”
I bit back a hiss of frustration. “No, you don't understand what I'm saying–”
“Starbrooke High School,” The host announced. “Can all members please return to the stage.”
Levi held up his hand for a high five.
“Can we do this later?” He winked. “I'm kinda busy carrying this spelling-bee on my back right now.”
I nodded shakily, high fiving him, and letting him jump back onto the stage.
Before his words hit like a tidal wave, ice cold water slammed into me.
Spelling Bee?
Slowly making my way back to the stands, Levi’s mistake was circling around my head. He did win a spelling bee, but that was in middle school.
Thankfully, the smell of lemons was gone when I returned to my seat.
Mr Hanes handed me a soda. “Chill out, Cassandera, it's just a game.”
He could talk. The guy was on his fifth coffee.
Mr Hanes was not chilled out in the slightest.
Surprisingly, the event went well. I was half expecting my team to be crushed by the rafters, or caught in a blaze started in the crowd. But we were doing well. No, we were winning.
Reaching the climaxing round, Sunny choked against a smug Ratcliffe boy, joining me on the sidelines.
Levi answered the next question with a confident smile.
We were winning, but Ratcliffe could still catch up with a miracle.
The second to last question was to Ratcliffe, and it was general knowledge.
”Where on the human body would one find the *orbit?*
I knew the answer, and so did Levi, his lips breaking out into a smile when the Ratcliffe boy was hesitating, eyes wide.
Our school’s buzzer went off, Levi slamming his hand down.
Bzzz!
The host turned to our team. “Starbrooke, can I have your answer?”
Levi nodded, shooting our team a victory grin.
“It's…!“ He opened his mouth to answer, his jaw slackening suddenly.
The boy’s shoulders slumped.
“Uh… “
“Um…”
“Huhhhhh…”
Levi inclined his head, blinking, his eyes glazing over. There was a sudden, hollow vacancy that sent chills down my spine. It was like someone had reached into his skull, and yanked out his brain, leaving a shell in his place.
To my confusion, our team captain frowned at his buzzer like he'd never seen one before. He pressed it, exploding into child-like giggles.
Bzzz!
The audience laughed along nervously.
Tom nudged me. “What the fuck is he doing?”
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz!
Levi’s entire body was slumped, his hand slamming down on the buzzer.
I caught something pooling down his chin.
“Is he… drooling?” I whispered.
Mr Hanes looked mildly horrified. “Has he been drinking?
“Levi?” Tom spluttered. “Drinking?!"
Whatever we were watching, however, was definitely influenced by… something.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz!
“Young man, that is not a toy!”
The host wasn't amused. “Starbrooke High School, I need an answer from you,” He nodded to Levi, who was pressing the buzzer, his smile growing.
“Once again,” The host backed away, like Levi was contagious. “Where on the human body would one find the Orbit?”
Levi cocked his head, lips parted.
His gaze found the overhead lights, and he winced, his lips curling into a frown.
“Starbrooke High School!”
Levi jumped, tipping his head back and blowing a raspberry. “Palm tree?”
The audience laughed, and I started feeling nauseous.
Across from us, I could see the twist of a smirk on the Ratcliffe coach’s lips.
Bzzz! Levi slammed the buzzer again giggling.
“Starbrooke High School, if your team member continues to act like this, I will be forced to disqualify all members.”
Our captain stopped, gaze glued to the host, his hand creeping towards the buzzer, like it was a big red button.
The audience loved it, laughing like they were watching a sitcom.
“He wouldn't.” Tom whisper-shrieked.
The auditorium was silent for a moment, awaiting Starbrooke’s response.
Levi stuck out his tongue, slamming his hand down.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz–
When Tom dragged Levi away from his podium, a Ratcliffe girl hit her buzzer.
“Starbrooke High School, you are disqualified,” the host announced. “Ratcliffe High School, do you have an answer?”
It was Ponytail who nodded with a grin.
“The answer is the eye socket! The Orbit is part of the eye socket!”
“That is the correct answer.” The host was distracted, his eyes glued to Levi.
“Ratcliffe High School wins.”
Levi jumped when the Ratcliffe wide erupted into cheers.
His eyes were wide, clinging onto the buzzer for comfort.
Next to me, our coach looked like he was going to faint.
I barely noticed Ratcliffe’s victory, too busy watching our team captain, who was Harvard bound, tipping his head back and smiling at the ceiling like a new-born baby. Tom dragged the stumbling boy over to me, his mouth twisted.
“This was Ratcliffe, right?” He hissed, shaking our captain, who was struggling, squirming in his grip.
“Did they put something in his drink?!” He prodded Levi. “Hey! What did they do to you?!”
Still, though, drugging his drink didn't make sense.
Levi never left the auditorium, and kept his water bottle with him the whole time.
How did they even manage to slip something into his drink in the first place?
Did I smell our competitors drugging him?
Sure, intentionally inebriating my teammate was morally wrong and illegal, but why could I smell lemon?
“I doubt it was Ratcliffe.” Sunny squeezed next to me. “I've been watching them. They're harmless.”
“Then how the fuck do we explain this to his parents?!” Tom whispered, grappling with Levi, who was fighting to get back to the buzzer.
When Tom let go of him, he dropped onto the floor, crawling over to his podium. It was like watching a child.
Who was determined to piss off the adults.
Levi jumped back to instead feet, his gaze was glued to the host, a smile curved on his lips, when he slammed the buzzer again.
Bzzz!
“Someone, please remove the Starbrooke boy from the stage!”
I was embarrassed, our whole team ducking our heads as our captain was forcibly removed from the podium.
Mr Hanes grabbed Levi, pulling him off of the stage.
I expected our coach to be mad at him, but I think the teacher was more worried, a phone pressed to his ear while he forced the boy into a sitting position.
No, I don't think it's influence from alcohol, I could hear his conversation.
Levi kept trying to get up, mesmerised by the buzzer. The teacher was firm but gentle. “Hey. Sit down, all right? Keep still.” He went back to his phone call, gently prying Levi’s eyes open.
From what I can see, there's nothing wrong. He's just kind of…
Mr Hanes swiped his own hands on his jeans. ... wet?
Team Ratcliffe came over to rub it in our faces, though I was still tuned into our coach’s hissed whispering.
Water? No, I don't think it's water. It smells… no, I haven't told his parents…
“You guys did awesome!” Ponytail's voice was sugary sweet. Too sugary.
She held the 2024 trophy, bearing a satisfied smile. I noticed the Ratcliffe members were surrounding Harry, like guards.
“Better luck next time, okay?” She held out her hand, her eyes twinkling.
“No hard feelings?”
“Control your dog.” Harry said, amused eyes flicking to Levi, who was once again sprinting back to the fucking buzzer. His eyes had visibly darkened, lips curled into a triumphant smile.
Harry Cartwright was watching Mr Hanes chase our team captain like it was his own personal entertainment.
I had to look away before I died of second hand embarrassment.
“What did you put in his drink?” Tom demanded. “Weed? Edibles?” the boy attempted to shove Harry, only to be pushed back. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Harry’s smile didn't waver. “Like I said. Control your mut.”
When the Ratcliffe team walked away, our red faced coach struggling with Levi, who was behaving progressively more erratically, informed us we were longer welcome inside the school.
Tom suggested calling an ambulance, but our coach was hesitant.
We all knew who Levi’s family were.
On the way out, Tom matched my stride. He was frowning at our team captain struggling to walk.
The way he was acting was already eyebrow raising.
But walking at an angle and being unable to stand up straight was worrying.
“I don't think they drugged his drink.” Tom muttered.
We pushed through the doors out of the school, and I revelled in the cool night air grazing my cheek. “If they did, he would be acting out of it, right? So, what's the deal with him acting like–”
“A child.” I finished for him.
“Yeah.” Tom leaned closer. “Do you think this has something to do with their turf war?”
I slapped at a bug creeping across my cheek.
Levi fell over again, this time bursting into giggles.
“Almost definitely.”
Levi was right about Ratcliffe playing dirty. I didn't realize how dirty until we were on the losers bus home. Levi was in the seat next to me, and the kid hadn't moved since we left Ratcliffe, his eyes wide, lips pulled into a dazed grin.
Bzzz!
The noise startled me from slumber. I was drooling, my head pressed against the window. Outside, the sky was pitch dark, and squinting through the glass, I couldn't get a bearing on where we were. I thought I was hearing things, but when I sat up, I heard it again.
Bzzz!
It was close.
Leaning over the boy, I glimpsed a smear of scarlet on his headrest.
I choked on my next words.
“Tom.”
Tom was in front of me, listening to music.
He didn't reply, his head of dark blonde curls nodding to the beat.
“Levi.” I managed to get out. I prodded him, and his head lolled into his shoulder. “Hey. Can you… sit up?”
Bzzz! Bzzz!
When the boy didn't move, I gently grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward myself, something contracting in my stomach.
I don't know how long it takes for your mind to fully register something, but my body was already reacting.
Levi’s seat was infested with bugs, eating their way through the upholstery. I was aware of my body moving back. I threw up, instantly, screaming into my hand.
The back of my best friend's skull resembled a deflated soccer ball, what was left of his brain leaking from his skull where a swarm of skittering bugs chewed their way through brain tissue, metallic legs scratching the curved, pearly white of the base if his skull.
Levi’s head hung, his body flopping into mine.
But his eyes were still open, lips still stretched into a smile.
Blood ran in thick rivulets from his nose and ears.
Bzzz!
I could see them, black writhing dots alive in his eyes, wriggling movement under his skin.
“Tom!”
I jumped up, stumbling into the aisle, my stomach heaving.
And it was only when I was on my knees, swiping bile from my lips, when I realized the others weren't reacting.
Tom wasn't moving.
I pulled an Airpod out of his ear, a long, slithering string of pink attached to the end.
There was a stray bug skittering across his hand, his face starting to twitch and writhe.
Moving back, I checked myself over, my hands shaking.
Head.
Shoulders.
Hair.
Clawing through it, my breath was stuck in my throat.
Arms.
Legs.
Feet.
Mr Hanes was slumped against the window, a reddish froth bubbling from his mouth.
Sunny.
I started towards the back of the bus, but all I had to see was her bowed head, half of her skull chewed through.
Sunny was in a far more deteriorated state, her face had been ripped through, a skeletal smile glinting in the dim.
The thick black smear on the window next to her was moving.
When I screamed for the driver to stop the bus, he ignored me.
If anything, he stamped on the gas.
I moved forward to shake him, before glimpsing a bug creeping down his face.
Calling 911, the operator laughed at me.
“Bugs are eating your friends.” He said. “Do you know the penalty for calling with bullshit pranks?”
The bus didn't stop, so I stayed at the front, while the bugs took over the back, eating through my teammates.
After four hours, I risked leaning over the seat next to Tom to check on Levi.
They were eating him.
Chewing all the way through skin, muscle and bone.
I tried to stop the bus, but the driver’s hands were tightly wrapped around the wheel.
Another hour, and blood was seeping down the aisle, crawling with bugs.
Levi was gone, and in his place, a buzzing skittering pile of bugs, that I thought were going to move to a second victim, maybe burrowing into the seats.
But, no.
These things began to tremble, replicating.
Building.
Slowly, nothing became static, and static became muscle.
Then bone.
Then flesh.
When a body began to slowly form, moulded from the dead boy, I stumbled back.
These things weren't eating Levi Costella.
They were rewriting him.
…
Edit: I'm still on the bus. I'm 99.9% sure that I'm infected with whatever this thing is. I can't stop fucking itching.
I keep picking them off me but they won't stop. This bus isn't going to stop until I'm like the others.
…
Edit 2:
I can feel them chewing into my skull. They're in my ears. I keep spitting them out. Please, someone get them off of me. Help me. I don't want to die at 17.
Edit 3:
Still alive. Still breathing. Maybe they're leaving me alone????? I think I'm okay. There is a pile of bugs at my feet, but they're crawling off of me.
Edit 4:
Levi really wants to go home. Like, he just told me he REALLY wants to go home. He's got a gift for his parents.
~~Edit 5 :) ~~
Levi is next to me right now, an odd smile on his face.
The bugs are not finished building him yet, but he'll be ready soon.
We will be ready soon.
Your son says hello! He is a wonderful boy, is he not?
Mr and Mrs Costella, I cannot wait for you to meet him.
He is our greatest achievement, and rest assured, you will give us what we want.
Warm regards.
The Cartwright's.

So this is something I have thought for a while, and began building a hypothesis for it roughly three years ago. To summarize for those not interested in the details I believe the reasoning the tree of knowledge, and its counter parts within other religions were off limits to humans other than it is knowledge unwanted/unneeded; is that it was a trinity. The three parts that would make this up are religion,philosophy, and science. To clarify and specify I will give differing examples as to why I came to this conclusion.
The first thing that made me think of this was the interchangeable aspects, as well as the balancing of these three. Religious beliefs are what filled the ancient times, and allowed for the first steps of science to flourish. A good example is Egyptian building techniques they had were given to them by the God thoth. Due to its sacred attachments it was able to survive as a form of study scientist use to this day. Now turning towards the interconnectedness of philosophy with religion an example can be; in one of the earliest religious sites is dedicated to that of skulls and the nature of death. The religion itself doesn't have much knowledge other than the age old testament of why we die, but its still a profound question we ask ourselves to this day. You can take this same method of interconnectedness in reversal with the other two forms of knowledge being compared to the others. Now the contrasting factors are just as interesting. Such as the inability for a comprehensive understanding of miracles through the scientific lense. There are examples of this "mockery," being there as a core part of our being in all three forms of study as well. With that we will start with the examples within science.
We must first discuss the beginning of our existence as science describes, in an instantaneous expansion/expulsion of energy we gained space, time, and matter as a result. Now in order for any researcher to make a proper conclusion and or factual statement they must be able apply these three elements to their work. They must use a means of recording the information aka time. They must provide a place in which this experiment occured aka space finally; they must use the effects of physical objects, actions, and or numerical data to provide evidence. There are also examples of its interconnectedness to the other two despite oppositional standings. One such example is that; rituals such as bloodletting, ripping of hearts out, mummification, and potion making allowed for the transcendence of medicine, anatomy, and many more medical practices. Another example, but for philosophy is; when we used philosophy as a means to question the commonly believed scientific practices of multiple eras including the present. This allows/ed for the progression of ethics within the medical field, as well as create fields such as psychology. In essence science is the raw form of "mind," within our trinity; the physical representation of what can not be deciphered by the other two methods.
The next of the three we will delve into is that of philosophy. Philosophy has its connections within the other two methods of knowledge in a multitude if not the most ways out of the three. The following examples are just a few that I have chosen. One great example not yet discussed is; science, and its impact upon the understanding of the cosmos has made the philosophical question of "are we alone," and "what's my significance within it all." Another example but that of religious connectivity is the rise and fall of religions themselves. The best example is the change of pantheism into monotheism, the idea that; if there is a being of higher status, power, wisdom, intelligence etc. than others of its kind are the others truly within the same class or even the same kind of being. Philosophy in itself has trinities within their study as the other two do. One example is the Greek philosopher Pythagoras believed that the number 3 was the most significant number as it was that of perfection and represented harmony wisdom and understanding. In its representations philosophy can be Interpreted as the embodiment of " heart, " within the trinity; as it is what bridges the two methods with greatest disparity, and makes one think insightful as well as outwardly speak beyond the confines of scientific, and spiritual traditions.
The third representation of this " mocked ," trinity we have carved into the very code of our being is religion. Despite the contradictions religious, and scientific consensus there is over arching connections that can not be denied. One such example of their intertwining relationship is that of cosmic and mathematical studies. As mentioned before the Egyptians believed they gained their ability to use math from the God thoth, bit the belief isn't sufficient evidence for their true connection through math, and astrology. The mapping of celestial bodies were due to their relations with yhe divine such as their place of origin, the heavens, or even the physical embodiment of the gods themselves such of the planetary system and its connection with the Roman pantheon. Religion is also responsible for humanities and consequently sciences grasp of time and the recording of it. A great example is that ancient people would base their rituals around the natural rhythm of differing seasons, spacial phenomeno, and that of recording important cultural events. The impact of religion onto science is deep just as the other way around but their bridging partner philosophy; has very intimate connections as well. Though tons of examples are present for the twos intertwined relations a few examples are; that along of philosophers would use their religious beliefs to help shape, and nurture their philosophical ideals. It was also religion that began our want and urge to began asking ourselves what our origins are, what is our purpose as a species etc. Religion and its position within this " mockery ," could be best described as the soul of our markings. Though it is the most criticized part of knowledge for its lack of " evidence ," just like that of souls themselves. It still holds reverence and importance as without it we as humanity would've never asked ourselves those first important questions of internal insight as well as; did those physical rituals allowing for the progression into the many sciences' we have today.Throughout this I have quoted, and maintained this finding as a " mockery ," and there are many contradictions within the studies of the three themselves; this I will explain the reasoning behind in the following paragraph.
The term mockery as I use it; is the expression not of negative means such as we intend to offend anything such as a creator or ourselves as a species. In this sense the term is applied due to the very contradictions and disparities between the three. The three following tend to have arguments and disagreements within the studies; typically this discrepancy is the action cause by the want for truth. There are also fundamental contradictions as well such as; the process in which one conducts their actions in life, and the way in which one may perceive or be influenced within their daily ongoings. However; at the core without each of these three being accessible to humanity there would've been no virtual, or actual progression within our species. The reasoning it is a mockery rather than a true trinity is through the very definition of opposition the three have. A true trinity would be that of perfect balance however; due to all the differing factors said prior and the elements not seamlessly falling into one another there is an imbalance one that can sway what a humans progression through life may be.
In conclusion it's this authors opinion that we have a trinity one that is a mere mockery of what the truth we all are ferociously debating amongst ourselves is. until we are able to come to that one universal consensus we will be plagued with this mark of knowledge and its endless sea of questions.

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In today's fast-paced world, maintaining mental sharpness is crucial for success and well-being. Whether you're navigating the demands of a hectic job, studying for exams, or simply seeking to enhance cognitive performance as you age, certain supplements can be beneficial. Here’s a look at some of the top supplements known for supporting brain function.

1. Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Omega-3 fatty acids are crucial for brain health, being integral to the structure of brain cells. High concentrations of these fatty acids improve the fluidity of cell membranes and are associated with enhanced mood and cognitive function. The most beneficial omega-3s for brain health include EPA and DHA, found abundantly in fish oil. Research suggests that regular intake can help improve memory, reduce brain fog, and possibly even decrease the risk of Alzheimer's disease.

2. Ginkgo Biloba

Ginkgo biloba is one of the oldest living tree species, and its leaves are used to make extracts that are well-regarded for their cognitive enhancing properties. Ginkgo improves blood flow to the brain, which can help with brain functions like focus and memory. Studies have shown that it may slow the progression of age-related cognitive decline and even improve brain function in healthy individuals.

3. B Vitamins

B vitamins, including B6, B12, and folic acid (B9), play a vital role in brain health by helping to reduce levels of homocysteine in the blood. Elevated homocysteine levels are linked to increased risk of stroke, cognitive impairment, and Alzheimer's disease. B vitamins support many functions, including the production of neurotransmitters and energy metabolism in brain cells.

4. Vitamin E

Vitamin E is a powerful antioxidant that helps combat oxidative stress associated with brain aging. It can be particularly beneficial in preserving memory and protecting against Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Vitamin E is found in nuts, seeds, and green leafy vegetables, but supplementation might be helpful for obtaining higher doses required for therapeutic effects.

5. Acetyl-L-Carnitine

Acetyl-L-Carnitine is an amino acid that is naturally produced by the body and plays a key role in metabolism and energy production. It's particularly beneficial for brain health because it helps build the membrane around brain cells. Some studies suggest that it can enhance mood, memory, and cognitive resilience among older adults.

6. Curcumin

Curcumin — the main active ingredient in turmeric — has powerful anti-inflammatory and antioxidant benefits, which help protect the brain. Inflammation and oxidative stress are two factors that can contribute to cognitive decline. Curcumin has shown promise in boosting brain function and reducing the risk factors leading to neurological diseases.

7. Phosphatidylserine

Phosphatidylserine is a phospholipid that covers and protects the cells in your brain and carries messages between them. It has been shown to help slow down age-related cognitive decline and improve symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. Additionally, phosphatidylserine has been seen to enhance attention, memory, and mental function in young adults.

Conclusion

While supplements can aid brain function, it's important to approach them as complements to other healthy lifestyle choices such as a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and sufficient sleep. Always consult with a healthcare provider before starting any new supplement regimen, especially if you have underlying health conditions or are taking other medications.
By incorporating some of these supplements into your daily routine, you may find a noticeable improvement in your cognitive functions, leading to better performance in your daily activities and an overall higher quality of life.
In today's fast-paced world, maintaining mental sharpness is crucial for success and well-being. Whether you're navigating the demands of a hectic job, studying for exams, or simply seeking to enhance cognitive performance as you age, certain supplements can be beneficial. Here’s a look at some of the top supplements known for supporting brain function.

1. Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Omega-3 fatty acids are crucial for brain health, being integral to the structure of brain cells. High concentrations of these fatty acids improve the fluidity of cell membranes and are associated with enhanced mood and cognitive function. The most beneficial omega-3s for brain health include EPA and DHA, found abundantly in fish oil. Research suggests that regular intake can help improve memory, reduce brain fog, and possibly even decrease the risk of Alzheimer's disease.

2. Ginkgo Biloba

Ginkgo biloba is one of the oldest living tree species, and its leaves are used to make extracts that are well-regarded for their cognitive enhancing properties. Ginkgo improves blood flow to the brain, which can help with brain functions like focus and memory. Studies have shown that it may slow the progression of age-related cognitive decline and even improve brain function in healthy individuals.

3. B Vitamins

B vitamins, including B6, B12, and folic acid (B9), play a vital role in brain health by helping to reduce levels of homocysteine in the blood. Elevated homocysteine levels are linked to increased risk of stroke, cognitive impairment, and Alzheimer's disease. B vitamins support many functions, including the production of neurotransmitters and energy metabolism in brain cells.

4. Vitamin E

Vitamin E is a powerful antioxidant that helps combat oxidative stress associated with brain aging. It can be particularly beneficial in preserving memory and protecting against Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Vitamin E is found in nuts, seeds, and green leafy vegetables, but supplementation might be helpful for obtaining higher doses required for therapeutic effects.

5. Acetyl-L-Carnitine

Acetyl-L-Carnitine is an amino acid that is naturally produced by the body and plays a key role in metabolism and energy production. It's particularly beneficial for brain health because it helps build the membrane around brain cells. Some studies suggest that it can enhance mood, memory, and cognitive resilience among older adults.

6. Curcumin

Curcumin — the main active ingredient in turmeric — has powerful anti-inflammatory and antioxidant benefits, which help protect the brain. Inflammation and oxidative stress are two factors that can contribute to cognitive decline. Curcumin has shown promise in boosting brain function and reducing the risk factors leading to neurological diseases.

7. Phosphatidylserine

Phosphatidylserine is a phospholipid that covers and protects the cells in your brain and carries messages between them. It has been shown to help slow down age-related cognitive decline and improve symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. Additionally, phosphatidylserine has been seen to enhance attention, memory, and mental function in young adults.

Conclusion

While supplements can aid brain function, it's important to approach them as complements to other healthy lifestyle choices such as a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and sufficient sleep. Always consult with a healthcare provider before starting any new supplement regimen, especially if you have underlying health conditions or are taking other medications.
By incorporating some of these supplements into your daily routine, you may find a noticeable improvement in your cognitive functions, leading to better performance in your daily activities and an overall higher quality of life.
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Name :「Back To Life」
Namesake : "Back To Life" by Mystery Skulls / "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence
Localised name :「Bring To Life」
Appearance :「Back To Life」is a tall and slender armless Stand, looking like what could be best described as a massive stalk with a head. Being 3,6 meters tall, its whole body seems wrapped in multiple layers of light green, light brown and golden yellow cloth, looking like leaves during spring and autumn. The outer layer goes up to where its ears would be and forms a tall collar behind its head. It also sports a yellow diamond shape at the center of its body, encased between four brown diagonal stripes joining together before reaching the top and the bottom of the layer then joining once more to circle on the collar and the feet. Speaking of, no feet at all, just a few small root-like tentacles spewing from underneath the cloth, allowing it to slowly crawl. Its mint green head is bulbous and veiny, covered with different alien-looking flowers but its face presents the biggest one, a massive flower made of crystals of various shapes, sizes and shades of yellow, with a red cristal globe right at the center. He often wobbles on itself as a stalk would in the wind.
Activation :「Back To Life」's ability activate once vegetation comes into contact with it's user's blood.
Ability :「Back To Life」grants its user's blood the ability to make plants and seeds grow at a tremendous rate once shed on it. Just a few drops are enough to transform a daisy into a large version of itself, able to destroy the ground with its new powerful roots. The bigger the original plant, the more the user has to shed blood for it to grow : a drop for a weed seed to completely mature, a half-liter for tree sappling, several liters to transform a full grown tree into the new Hyperion, etc. Since the user can't obviously dispense that much blood,「Back To Life」can also transfer that ability to any human blood that has been mixed with a bit of the user's, though the effect is divided by a factor of five, both in terms of power and quantity needed.
Weaknesses : the user of「Back To Life」doesn't have control over the plant itself, just its growth, meaning he can well get trapped by his own attacks. Moreover, those are still plants, so the needs for water, soil, sun, etc, are still mandatory, though increased since they're now bigger. Thus, the grown plants have practically zero chances of survival on a long period.
Stats :
Power : E for the Stand / ranging from D to B depending on what hits you (between a bunch of thorns and a massive root, there's a bit of variation in damage) Speed : D for the Stand / ranging from D to B depending on the type of plant and the volume/concentration of blood used Range : C (the plants don't really expand horizontally but can still reach a good 10 meters if given the occasion) Durability : D (boy, is「Back To Life」fragile ! Imagine punching a massive lanky veggie wrap standing upright) Precision : D (as mentioned, he doesn't control in which directions the plants grow) Potential : B (still a fair amount of possible use despite the other restrictions)
Inspiration: there are so many characters with power over plantlife : the Sadida race from the games DOFUS and WAKFU, Admiral Ryokugyu from One Piece, Poison Ivy and Swamp Thing from DC, Shindo from Area D, John Steinbeck from Bungou Stray Dogs, etc. Some give life and energy to those plants by literally giving their life or energy so I took it in that direction and thought about the idea of sprinkling them with blood instead of water. There's not much else for this one really.

Hi! Studied a lot from these subreddits, would love to see ways this can be improved.
Context: Two college-aged students (AFAB) on a reasonable budget. My partner is coming from Canada. I (22F) am coming from the United States. I have travelled to Japan before (Golden Route), and I speak Japanese (~N3 level, nearly N2 / studied multiple years).
Disclaimer: We met and bonded over our shared interest in Japanese pop culture, so there may be more of that in this itinerary (particularly in Tokyo). We're also more on the artsy side.
I tried to build in free days in consideration of the August heat and flexibility. Tried not to load up each day with too much - have things bookmarked in the areas we're going to if we want to hit up more things.

Tokyo (Aug 3-Aug6)

Hotel based near Kanda station.
Aug 3

• Will land in early afternoon. Easy day. Explore area around hotel. Walks. There's a remotely-operated robot cafe near our hotel that might be fun.
• Most likely hit up Akihabara arcades, try the foods. Might check out Eorzea Cafe or save for another day.

Aug 4

• Tsukiji Market (early morning)
• TeamLab Planets + DiverCity Tokyo
• Might pop into the Unko Museum
• Waterbus (if scenic) to Asakusa
• Walk around Sensouji, probably eat around one of the shotengai there
• Hit up SkyTree - check if any collab cafes

Aug 5

• Harajuku Snoopy Cafe (early morning) - pair with Meiji Shrine
• Takeshita St
• Shibuya lunch + shopping
• Shinjuku - Omoide Yokocho (dinnertime)

Aug 6

• Free day

Possible Tokyo free day plans:
- Ikebukuro Day = book fake food making class, explore Sunshine City (\might have collaboration event), check if nui clothes shop open*
- Hakone daytrip = Hakone loop (all day)
- Korakuen / Tokyo Dome showing

Matsumoto (Aug7-Aug8)

Hotel based near Matsumoto Station for convenience.
Aug 7

• Arrive in Matsumoto
• Miso Brewery Tour?
• Matsumoto Castle
• Nakamachi St

Aug 8

• Kamikochi :) hiking?

Kanazawa (Aug9-10)

Hotel based near Kanazawa Station.
Aug 9

• Arrive in Kanazawa
• Higashi Chaya + gold leaf workshop
• Kazuemachi Chaya (*check if geisha performances at nighttime, if not OK)

Aug 10

• Nagamachi District
• Ishiura Shrine
• Kenrokuen (*teahouse here?)
• Kanazawa Castle
• Associated Crafts

Kyoto (Aug11-Aug14)

Hotel based near Kyoto Station.
Aug 11

• Arrive in Kyoto. Free day
• To consider: nearby shopping, Nishiki Market area, OR fushimi inari
• Karaoke is really nice in Kyoto, for the record.
• Kameoka Hozugawa River Fireworks at night (*factor in travel time)

Aug 12

• Bike day - will rent bikes and follow self-guided bike tour :)
• either in Arashiyama (past Togetsukyo Bridge/Tenryuji/Nonomiya Shrine/Bamboo Forest/Nisoin/Daikakuji)
• OR down towards Uji depending on heat

Aug 13

• Kiyomizudera / associated Higashiyama areas
• Kodaiji or Manga museum?

Aug 14

• Free day :) Consider Northern Kyoto?

Hiroshima (Aug15-16)

Aug 15

• Arrive in Hiroshima
• Peace Park & Museum
• Food :)

Aug 16

• Miyajima Day! All day.
• (Omotesando/Itsukushima/Daishoin/Ropeway/Etc)

Osaka (Aug17-Aug19)

Hotel based near Kintetsu Nipponbashi.
Aug 17

• Arrive in Osaka.
• Kuromon market near hotel :)
• likely down to Dendenmachi + Shinsekai
• Shinsaibashi shopping :)
• hit up the areas near and around Dotonbori for food

Aug 18

• Concert in Himeji at nighttime (6:30pm) - either daytrip to Himeji only, or might look at Kurashiki daytime exploration / Himeji at night

Aug 19

• Free day :) Enjoy Osaka food.

Tokyo (Aug20-Aug22)

Hotel situated near Kojimachi & Nagatacho.
Aug 20

• Free day - Western Tokyo again?
• Aladdin Performance nighttime (Ginza area)

Aug 21

• Tokyo DisneySea (*check out the new region they're opening up)

Aug 22

• Zojoji
• High Tea in Ginza
• Teamlab Borderless?
• Clamp Exhibit

Leaving Japan Aug 23.
Thank you in advanced for any and all feedback :)

This has been a tough watch. I often skipped some of the earlier scenes as it was out of my comfort zone but I do sincerely like him as a person. He reminds me of the kid who leaves for college and his world gets rocked by exposure and culture; like being a preppy jock and returning home hippyish, tree hugging naturalist. He is new to living his life as an “out” man so he’s indulging in the lifestyle at a wild pace that even I couldn’t imagine even with women because he hasn’t hit that wall of conquest that curbs his desire. The other part is the brotha seeks the approval of his parents so much that it fuels his impulsive sexual desires within his lifestyle; it’s almost an act of rebellion even at 37. I think the other major factor in his interpersonal relationship with his bf is; he just needs to hear his father simply say…”look Jerrod I had an affair that grew into a family. I chose to live a double life.” I think if his father could utter those words to him, it would give him a level of peace. Then with his parents acceptance their relationship would improve and his lifestyle could change. But boy is this a rollercoaster, it’s opened my eyes at just how open and free the gay lifestyle can be. The unfortunate part though his parents and mine are from the same generation they won’t change. His father will go to his deathbed without explaining himself to the people he loves and hurt, his mother is so interprets the Bible as its taught by her pastor and pastors alike there is no room for acceptance of a gay man but there’s always forgiveness for a thief, murder, abuser, adulterer and any other sinner…..

Experienced in game development, I'm actively seeking opportunities in both short and long-term projects. Currently employed as a programmer at A2Z Technologies, I focus on projects involving physical simulators and games. Additionally, I achieved third place in ICPC during a national tour. As a key member of Hrust studio, I've contributed to published games like Streetoir and Trafical. Moreover, I possess knowledge of the Spring framework and PostgreSQL, alongside solid experience in git usage. In addition to my primary employment, I've also undertaken freelance work, focusing on resolving bugs and the development of new projects. Also, I participated as a member of a team in local games exhibitions like Game Summit. Besides that, in my university, I created an application to enhance the EACORP project, optimazing the initial construction expenses of pipelines taking into consideration factors like water resources and environmentally protected zones. This application was developed utilizing the EarthEngine API.
Key Skills: Proficient in Unity and C#, with expertise in AI development, including behavior and decision trees, quest systems, and multiplayer using Netcode for GameObjects. Familiar with Spring framework and have a basic understanding of PostgreSQL. Solid experience in git usage.
Languages: English, Russian, Azerbaijani
Published Projects: Streetoir: Available on Steam
Contact: Email: [laq018.laq@gmail.com](mailto:laq018.laq@gmail.com) Discord: laq4381 DMs are always open

What is Looking-Glass Self? This is concept in sociology, discovered in 1902 by Cooley - and his theory states that we form our own identity based on what we think other people think who we are. In fact, the whole sociology is based on social anxiety- the very same social anxiety that psychiatry (CBT and DSM) are pathologizing and trying to cure and destroy and present as mental illness.
Without social anxiety, without ability to worry what other people think about us - we would lose social skills, empathy and civilization norms - such as not eating others.
"If it weren't for the nervous people in the world, we'd all still be eating each other." The Misfits (1961) https://youtu.be/h56iL7vK5Y0
When people consume chicken - they eat the flesh of animals because there is no ability to connect with the slaughtered animals as conscious beings who are able to think and perceive us. So when we destroy social anxiety- our ability to worry what other people think - we will become psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. This also provide us with important information of self expression and holding toxic people accountable - by stating the facts and truth. Toxic people learn to suppress social anxiety - and this gives them ability to be cruel. And the only way to probe their delusions is to speak the truth to them. And that is why toxic people mock and go into hysteria mode - because their suppressed conscience and morality and ethics are eating them from inside.
Dolphins are not caught with smiles but cruelly with hooks, Michele. One day you will learn to be cruel. Caravaggio (1986) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF12uM_GK74
Sociology is based on social anxiety - that we form our own identity based on society. We need other people to provide us information who we are and how to express ourselves. The language is the very first thing that society gives us to define who we are - by using the very words that society is using.
Theories of the Self
William James (1890): A person has "as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him and carry and image of him in their minds"
Charles Cooley (1902): Views of self reflect the standpoints of significant others in our lives ("looking-glass self")
George Herbert Mead (1934): We imagine the perspectives of others and incorporate these into our self views - and that this occurs continuously as we interact with others on an ongoing, moment to moment basis.

Having a distorted looking glass (incorrectly imagining others’ opinions of us) can cause bad feelings, or a negative self-image. https://wa01001786.schoolwires.net/cms/lib/WA01001786/Centricity/Domain/70/Socialization%20Notes.pdf
What happens when we are around toxic people - is that our identity is deformed as well. CBT claims, along with DSM, that our worry what other people think - is personality disorder, called Borderline:
Reality testing is ability to perceive reality properly. Without too much deviation from facts. Borderline refer to you if want to know anything about reality. “Do you think so too?” Narcissist will tell you "am I not genius". YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin about Fantasy
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. (Mayo Clinic)
The truth is - if we are around toxic people, their criticism will affect our self worth. Their constant nagging, constant nitpicking, constant error finding and constant drama about anything that moves - will have an effect on our sense of stability and security in the world. This is not disorder. This is simply how society works. In order to heal our mental health issues - we need to repair connections with other people - which may include minimizing exposure to toxic people or cutting toxic people completely off from our lives.
We will never feel secure, confident, worthy - if there are toxic people around us who are criticizing us and others all the time.
Improving our relationships is improving our mental health. William Glasser
Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships. Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs. DK psychology book, WILLIAM GLASSER
Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
In another words: feel safe with other people = mental health
The single most important issue for traumatized people is to find a sense of safety in their own bodies. 🟦 Bessel A. van der Kolk
Toxic people cause social anxiety. That is why social anxiety is called social+anxiety. There is social element that is causing the anxiety. There is social factor contributing to anxiety. It is not called self-anxiety. We did not catch social anxiety by walking randomly in the street when it was rainy, so we caught a common cold. It is not like we felt bored in our lives so we invented neuroticism to keep us active and occupied. Social anxiety must start in childhood with ACE and ACoA where we learned from early on - that life is dangerous, that people are not safe, that we must worry to be hyper-vigilant and that we are unworthy if we make any kind of mistakes. We learned that our flaws, imperfections and mistakes are our core personality - abnormal and inept.
Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless. B. F. Skinner
This is how we end up with Broken Looking Glass Self. Distorted Looking Glass Self. We end up with operant conditioning - to worry what other people think in such way that we attempt to think for the other person ahead of time, so that they do not get mad of us - and then attempt, we try hard not to make other people mad. And how we execute this operant conditioning - depends on our background, people around us and punishments to which we were exposed as kids. Most socially anxious learn to keep quiet. To shut up. To self censor. And to self blame. If the other person is angry or hysterical - we will feel responsible for their mood swings and we will try hard to fix their emotions and their problems. Soon - we spread this fixing on other people, who are not angry - and we create fake social mask that is always pleasant and nice and helpful to anyone, especially if they are angry and rude and intrusive. We learned to interpret their anger as our fault and our abnormality. Looking glass self is broken - because it does not reflect any more - now we imagine how to please other people without using looking glass (mirror) - as all people use it.
Other people are there as information post. They broadcast who they are, many of them mask their true Self and present fake version of themselves, their social mask. Our brain will naturally form opinion about us through the words and opinions and non-verbal gestures from other people, strangers or our acquaintances. This part is totally normal. This is not disorder. This is not illness. The disorder starts when we try hard to fix other people's conclusions about us by making ourselves small and by changing our routine so that we soothe the other person. Instead of CBT techniques - all that we need to do here is to allow other people to think whatever they choose to think about us. Simply allow other people to hate us and leave it at that.
We really have to work very hard at changing our programming because we don't understand we're upset because someone else has a perception of us that we're uncomfortable with. And we challenge this person's perception of us. We're upset that people think this about us. Something amazing happens when you begin to accept that other people are allowed to have their own faulty perception of you. 🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life coach Inc.
For the next step, sociology will also help us. CBT and DSM, psychiatry is telling us concrete steps which we must take - and morally and ethically speaking - this is illegal. When someone orders us what we must do - this is called manipulation and coercive control. This way anyone who is psychopathic and narcissistic can climb, grab and push their way to powerful position of ordering others what to do - and then evil people can easily manipulate and control the masses. This is what happens with psychiatry. Psychology on the other hand explains concepts - psychology does not order us what to do in life and how to react. That is why Humanistic psychology is healthy.
It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried. Carl Rogers
In the same manner as Humanistic Psychology and IFS Model - sociology also has the similar term that allows clients freedom in own choices - which is called Thomas theorem.
The Thomas theorem is a theory of sociology which was formulated in 1928 by William Isaac Thomas and Dorothy Swaine Thomas: If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. In other words, the interpretation of a situation causes the action. This interpretation is not objective. (wiki)
If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. - formulated in 1928 by William Isaac Thomas and Dorothy Swaine Thomas
This means - that no other person can objectively tell us what is the best way to go in life. We need our inner GPS, our intuition, our common sense, other people as well - to form our reality and our construct of the future where we are headed. With CBT and DSM - we do not have this freedom. With CBT and DSM - we are pathologized instead - and all our focus is spent on fixing our symptoms - we are literally self consuming ourselves with CBT.
In real life- real life situations will not allow us to form rigid mindset. Any other person, any other situation in life - good or bad - is always unique and different. Sometimes it is great that we shut up and that we self censor ourselves - especially if we are tired and we don't want to harm other people with our nagging and complaints that will go off as soon as we get to sleep and rest. On the other hand - many situations in life that are triggering our social anxiety require from us to self express, that we talk out our truth - no matter how much manipulative people attempt to shut us up with mocking and shaming.
So when we allow other people to form toxic conclusions about us - we need to know that we can rely on our brain, on our intuition to tell us how to react and what to do and how to behave. We have this mechanism inside us. We do not need to pathologize ourselves with CBT. CBT will tell us that we must be assertive in order to handle toxic people. This is horrible advice because:
"If you have been the scapegoat in a narcissistic family system, the concept of setting a boundary is laughable. You would be telling them exactly how to hurt you, and they would happily oblige. Also, trying to set a boundary in a calm and tactful way would be met by resistance in the form of mocking and ridicule, attempting to bait the scapegoat into anger, which would prove you are the problem." YT kingbee9778
"I feel gaslighted by the therapy mantras of “ you have to teach people how to treat you “ ,(setting boundaries). No you don’t and no you can’t. First of all, it’s not my job to teach an adult how to behave like one and quite frankly, it’s a trap and a drain hole. Secondly, I DON’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE. They will do what they want, especially if they have the tiniest ounce of power over you." YT gertrudewest4535
When we follow CBT - we will repeat the broken Looking Glass Self when we exposure ourselves to social situations - and social anxiety will not go away - because we will continually process the same ways reality and other people in a manner that is toxic to us - through seeking approval from other people, through self flagellation, through harsh inner critic and internalized toxic shame.
To fix broken Looking-Glass Self means fixing social anxiety: when we are afraid of what other people think about us. With CBT we self pathologize our normal reaction to worry what other people think about us. This is not disorder, it is totally normal to have awareness that other people are thinking about us.
Many social anxiety coaches will use "Spotlight effect" as proof that other people do not worry about us:
"The spotlight effect is the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are."
In toxic contact - toxic people - those same ones who trigger our social anxiety - do notice anything about us. In normal population - other people will think about us and we will define each other - through the process called The Michelangelo phenomenon - where we chisel each other into better version, where we change our toxic habits that hurt us as much as they hurt other people. In unhealthy, toxic social dynamics there will be the opposite: Golem Effect and Crab mentality. Where there is competition and where other person is perceived as threat and someone to pull down.
A lot of content on mental health in mainstream media does not cover the unique corner that survivors of narcissistic abuse live in. Not one mention of being in any kind of toxic relationship. “Avoid your triggers” is not easy in narcissistic relationships. When the discomfort is living in your house or down the street or in the next office. It was not even rumination, but reality. And the constant exposure means you don't get a break. 🟥 DoctorRamani https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uusKWmjUk6k
I'm not setting boundary with these people. “Don't do this with me”. “Don't say this with me”. It's all internal. Because if you try to set a boundary with someone who's narcissistic or antagonistic – it's never going to work. And I think it's unsafe guidance to give.
With this dangerous person no. But what are you willing to tolerate. How can you protect yourself emotionally. What access can you remove. Move these people from VIP section.
🟥 Dr. Ramani - Terri Cole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
With broken Looking-Glass Self - we end up being trapped in toxic people's minds. Similar to horror movie / book The Cell from 2000. Even when we develop Who cares attitude, and when we consciously try to block and build walls away from toxic people, when we try hard to push down and suppress toxic people - we are still trapped in their reality of what they potentially might think about us. This is why CBT is not working - because CBT tries hard to convince us to use suppression as method to block social anxiety. And we cannot block other people - we need other people for our identity and our self worth - where there is healthy interaction called Interdependence. Toxic people behave in codependent way - they see other people as competition and this creates codependency. They need other people like vampires need blood - to exploit someone's attention, someone's focus, money, time and or resources of any kind. It is like give me, give me, give me - and provide nothing in return. With social anxiety we end up giving others without observing if the other person is emotionally invested in us at all. It ends up and one side interaction, exploitation really. Social anxiety means suppress anger as well. We learned to push our anger away - and this attracts toxic people who count on our silence and understanding and toxic empathy - knowing that they can cross boundaries of social interaction in their favor and we won't make any kind of protest. Then our own only protection - is avoidance. Therefore - social anxiety is natural defense mechanism against dangerous criminally insane psychopaths who are abusing their power position against ourselves.
In our teen years we experiences bully experience - after years of exposure to ACoA and ACE (constant criticism and constant drama at home) - so we generalized the belief that we cannot trust other people - and we learned that we process reality through broken Looking Glass Self - where we appease other people with our decisions - by being afraid what other people may think badly of us - since we were pressed and pushed into equating social rejection and our self worth as if they are one of the same. And psychiatry - instead of explaining us that it is totally normal to worry what other people think - CBT explains us that this is abnormality. This faulty explanation from medical industry is adding more trauma and more toxic shame and it gives our inner critic free reign to self abuse us - because we believe we are abnormal and ill if we worry what other people thin about us. In reality - all people worry about others. Even psychopaths worry what other people will think, along with narcissists - because they know that they need to form fake social mask of charm in order to seduce new victims into their agenda of exploiting and manipulating others.
Looking-Glass Self tells us - that we simply allow toxic people to form bad opinion about us in their heads - and that we absolutely do nothing to change this image that toxic people freely choose to believe about us in their heads.
You're no longer going to play the game of what can I do differently to get them to behave differently – because the answer is to that is nothing. That's radical acceptance. It takes long time. And it's not just accepting their behavior is not going to change, it's also the way it affects you is also not going to change. Just because you radically accept doesn't mean that somebody screaming at you is going to hurt any less- it does,it hurts a lot 🟥 Dr. Ramani - Terri Cole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
Other people will hurt us. They will say mean and untrue things about us. They will attack us - this has nothing to do with who we are. Their choice to harm and hurt other person - is abnormality in their brain. Normal healthy sane people do not attack others. Normal healthy sane people have ability to emotionally regulate themselves. Person who does not have this ability - is sick and mentally ill. And this has nothing to do with us. We are not the ones who can cure them by changing our behavior.
Lundy Bancroft: "Abuse is NOT caused by bad relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behaviour. But he wants you to think you can."
The pain that we feel when toxic people attack us, verbally or physically - is normal pain, we need this pain as the instruction for us what to do with severely damaged people around us.
If you are not feeling pain, anger and sadness while you are taking in psychological abuse or something similar – you are going to end up in those situations over and over again –because you are not logging information that your body telling 🟥Heidi Priebe https://youtube.com/watch?v=GTQohPaGnSY
People say it bothers me when they say these things. I say, because they say bothersome things. I don't want you to lose that part of you. That part is good index what is okay, what's not. From that point – excavation. A person pulling their true self out of their relationships. If you grew up with narcissistic parent, it was a true self that never even got to develop. It's how much your identity got co-opted. What do I like, what do I stand for. 🟥 Dr. Ramani - Terri Cole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
The core of narcissistic person is very fragile. That's why they lose it when you critique them. Or give them feedback. Or don't read their mind. Or don't do exactly what they want. And that's why they use all kinds of tactics like manipulation, gaslighting, invalidation, dismissiveness, competitiveness, betrayal. Some of them are tactics, some are unemphatic behavior. And it gives them the upper hand in relationship. Control, power gives them supply. 🟥 Dr. Ramani - Cole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
With social anxiety - we do not need psychiatry. Socially anxious need sociology. It is after all social issue. Social anxiety is anxiety that is connected to society - the name itself reveals this crucial aspect: society, social, societal. Psychiatry will only leave us lacking and with belief that something is horribly wrong with us, when we are around toxic people:
DSM doesn't explain anything. So many therapies and particularly CBT and others are just so focused on extinguishing symptoms which were once strategies of survival. And it doesn't make sense that you want to extinguish – we want eventually to move away from these symptoms and these strategies but I certainly don't want to pathologize them or look at them as somehow defective because they have saved our lives. 🟥 Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRTHacVAwdk
When we stop self pathologizing our social anxiety - we will unburden ourselves with toxic idea that feeling pain is abnormal and sick. And it will give us energy to start looking what is causing this pain - instead of focusing ourselves on chasing the symptoms. Without the stigma and labels - we will have much more resources at our disposal to handle difficult people in life who are causing our social anxiety in the first place.
With social anxiety - we need to learn about the Cooley's concept Looking-Glass Self and other terms from sociology. Instead of pathologizing our social reactions - we simply need information to confirm us that we are not abnormal and inept as CBT paints the socially anxious. We need information to learn what our rights are.
Five themes of microaggression against people with mental illnesses
1. Invalidation
When other people dismiss their illness or symptoms through minimizing their experience, symptomizing their normal experiences, and patronizing
2. Assumption of inferiority
When other people assume that people with mental illness have lower intelligence, are incompetent, and that they do not have control
3. Fear of mental illness
When other people fear them because they believe that they may be dangerous or unpredictable
4. Shaming of mental illness
When other people tell them that they shouldn't let others know about their mental illness
5. Second class citizen attitudes
When other people treat them as if they don't have the same rights as the dominant group of society.
Mental Health Forum, 2016

Diagnosis is not an excuse to be selective about their rights. Autistic not weird
Healing the Broken Looking-Glass Self means learning about the mentality - which we never had chance to learn in our developmental years. Other children learned this concept via keeping connections with other people. We - started to avoid people. Even when we were around other people - we pulled our investment emotionally with other people - and this way we never learned that other people are safe. We developed the stump growth - that is being stuck in age 12, when we started to avoid people. Similar to the plant that cannot grow roots in small basin or tree/plant that is stumped in growing due to some kind of obstacle to grow upright. Our growth was shaped from the perspective of not trusting other people - because they harmed us. Other people learned to develop certain amount of trust. They learned to filter out the bad people. And they learned that they are safe to express themselves - without being punished for it. This is why their social anxiety is in normal threshold. They will experience stress and then behave in anti-social manner, they will express their anger without problems - because they were never pushed into forming their self worth through worry what their tormentors might think about them. So it is not like social anxiety is abnormality or sickness - it is simply that non-socially anxious people were lucky enough to grow in healthy ambient, and that is their secret. They were not stronger. They were not more competent. They were not better or superior to the socially anxious. They simply had privilege and entitlement that helped them over-pass developmental years without fearing other people. Their mechanisms how to handle triggers - are mostly unhealthy (lacking empathy) - but their Looking glass self was not broken. With interaction with other people, with other children, they learned naturally to allow difficult people to hate them. Instead of worry - that is found in social anxiety - they simply turned their focus onto other people. With social anxiety - we do not have other people, we have no one to turn to, since we learned that other people are painful and traumatic. We never learned that hanging around with other people is enjoyable experience - and if someone is rude, toxic and abnormal - that we are allowed to focus and place our attention to better, healthier people around us.
In shame culture ambient - we will learn that other people criticism is reflection of our worth - and that is Broken Looking-Glass Self. That we cannot feel good about ourselves until other person reflects positive words about us to us:
Young American explained why she left Croatia:
"In Croatia people constantly express intrusive opinion about matters which are none of their business. The most irritating things were rude people."
https://www.poslovni.hlifestyle/amerikanka-napusta-hrvatsku-neucinkovitost-i-birokracija-te-ljudi-koji-nemaju-motiva-za-napredovanjem-u-poslu-358422
Young American explained why she escaped from Croatia:
"Often I heard Croats intruding why am I eating something, or commenting about what I wore. There is no such thing in America, we allow people to be what they want to be. People here are strange as if I am inside toxic relationship."
https://www.vecernji.hshowbiz/amerikanka-u-hrvatskoj-iznenadila-objavom-ljudi-su-ovdje-cudni-kao-da-sam-u-losoj-vezi-1351757
Don't look to the approval of others for your mental stability. 🟦 Karl Lagerfeld
We will heal social anxiety trauma with healing our choice to stay stuck around toxic people. We can cut toxic people - even when we are unable to leave them physically - by severing the trauma bonding in our mind - that is broken Looking-Glass Self.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
Yes, toxic people are pathological liars, They spread gossip. They create drama and hysteria. Toxic people do not have word toxic stuck on their forehead. Toxic people will not behave toxically in front of others - because they depend to look good in the eyes of other people - so they also have Looking-Glass Self no matter how much they said that they do not care what other people think about them. Therefore - social anxiety is clear indication that we are around toxic people. Toxic people do not allow us to express ourselves - and they use various methods of coercive control to manipulate their targets. The first step is to sever this trauma bonding - by allowing them to hate us.
That we basically stop impressing others.
Don't try to impress others. ✝️ Bible, Philippians 2-3
Cooley said our sense of Self comes from how we think other people see us. “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am.” Other people's reflections of us and how we think about those images they have of us help create our sense of Self. Grades from teachers can reflect back to us an image of ourselves that we then internalize and becomes our self-perception. They effect self-image. 🟥 The Looking glass self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X1wwTCuZBo
We imagine we are seen by others. And that imagination forms our identity. Our identity is being shaped by others. Others is agent which influences who we are in society. You begin to believe that and you begin to see as your identity, what other people think of you. Intelligent, high self esteem, outgoing – you believe what people say about you, it becomes your identity. Our identity is formed through the way we imagine people see us.
🟥 Looking-glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWOflUXKUQ
That imagination comes from interaction with these people. In the process of interaction they tell you this is what we think about you. And then you go off believe in that. You don't control what people think about you. Front Stage Behavior: Familiarity breeds content-With front stage they behave nicely. It's in subconsciousness of individuals that they have to behave a certain way in public. At interview- they smile, but is this who they are?
🟥 Looking-glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWOflUXKUQ
It is often said that American Beauty is a film about identity. Each character seems to go through a very personal identity crisis. But I would argue that this crisis are not personal at all. They are products of wider social forces. We may define ourselves based on prevailing attitudes towards sexuality, beauty and material success. Sense of self strongly influences by social world.
🟥 American Beauty Film Analysis: The Sociology of Identity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6youJFbEgQ
Ricky shows Jane that he likes her as she is. Eventually this leads her abandoning the idea of surgery and gain enough confidence and self-esteem to tell Angela what she really thinks of her. Freed from idea that everyone looks down on he because of her physical appearance, Jane's sense of self is no longer defined how she looks, how she looks to others.
🟥 American Beauty Film Analysis: The Sociology of Identity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6youJFbEgQ
An individual realize its self by reflecting others' perceptions about him. They use social interactions as a mirror. A Person grows and develop due to interpersonal interactions of the Society. When one interacts socially, one completely considers how one looks in the eyes of others. Negative response leads to depression and anxiety.
🟥 Looking Glass Self Theory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAzsBj6yTpw
Looking Glass Self where you see yourself the way you think others see you. You can't see the way others truly see you. So you're seeing yourself they way you think others think they see you. You can see how much is lost in the translation. You're much more beautiful than you think. You attract so much more than you know. There's more going on with you than you care to acknowledge. Beauty is not about what you see. It's about what you reflect. 🟥 Looking Glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFEkq8uDiJU
Mirror in front of you, and you are looking at yourself in the mirror, the way it is – is mirror in reality. As Masha labels you, tells you, comments on you, provides you all kinds of feedback, your self continues to develop. The way society perceives you and gives feedback about you. It is considered important to yourself and you have that impression that is how I should be. Their significance or importance makes you proud.
🟥 Looking Glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa-PD1YVxj4
There is something you have never understood, Joe. These people at the top, they are the same as anybody else. But you had it inside of you to be so much bigger than any of them. You just had to be yourself. That was all. With me you were yourself. Only with me. Room at the Top (1958) https://youtu.be/Cs1C_Tu2crI

Hello.
You know what time is it, it’s time to look forward for the upcoming chapter, and try to predict things.
This time I jump straight to the point, and say that I predict that the new Nine-Tails shown at the end of the previous chapter, is NOT Kurama. But rather a new entity.
This because it would be the best case scenario:
1- There would be no need to explain why a Bijuu would somehow be reborn inside a new host instead of the out in the wilderness, since this would be a new and unique case.
2- They would only need to explain how Himawari got Bijuu chakra inside her, and this can be explained in many ways on its own, and not just by inventing that the kids of a Jinchuuriki somehow inherit the chakra of the beast itself, that is just a fan theory with no confirmation in the story, and too many ramifications if made true.
3- There also wouldn’t be any need to explain if Kurama knew of this event or not… and both answers would be bad here; because if he didn’t, then he is an idiot that somehow didn’t know that he would return (even worse if they go with the “kids inheriting Bijuu chakra” theory to justify it, because he wouldn’t notice it for like, 13 years), but if he was aware of it, then he genuinely was an asshole to Naruto in their final moments, that played the sad dead card instead of reassuring him they would meet again soon enough.
4- When factoring Omnipotence in… would Kurama be affected by it, considering that his chakra was seemingly inside Himawari before it was cast? And if he wasn’t, then is it really the best case to use him as a cheap way to have Himawari realize that her memory was altered, without any resemblance of character agency?
5- Lastly, and more importantly, in this way Kishimoto wouldn’t devalue the death of Kurama… because this new fox would be his own character, capable to create its own bonds and personality, and this too would bring even more value; instead of “just” bringing back a character whose character arc was done and set, and that would already have his own bias towards Himawari.
And really, Kishimoto has already dodged that bullet when he made Kashin Koji a clone of Jiraiya, instead of the man himself brought back out of the blue...
…
Moving on, I also hope that the hideout Boruto and Koji were shown in, is indeed revealed to be where Orochimaru currently is, so that he can be an ally to them (alongside Suigetsu, Jugo, Karin and Log).
Sarada and Sumire should definitely arrive to Hidari and Jura, and I presume that their meeting will be the big event of the chapter (fingers crossed for the return of the Susanoo via either Uchiha / Uchiha Divine Tree hybrid).
I say also, that I predict that the first spoiler page they will officially release, will either be about Sarada and Hidari, or Himawari and the new Nine-Tails.

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