Since it's all but confirmed that Godzilla 3 is going to be coming out, probably the biggest question swirling around the community is who Godzilla's next opponent will be. The MV has fanned out in many different directions, getting away from the mythical aspect of the titans displayed in KOTM and leaning more into hard sci-fi with the Wingard installments. I think because of this, Hedorah meets the requirements of every box needed to be checked to fulfill the role as next MV villain. Here's why.
1) Getting away from the Hollow-Earth
The first thing we need to have is an understanding of the MV villains of the past. There is a common denominator among a lot of them.
MUTOs (ancient threat from Hollow Earth)
Skullcrawlers (hidden threat from SI)
Ghidorah (ancient threat from space but was on Earth already)
MechaGodzilla (man-made)
Skar King (ancient threat from Hollow Earth)
Shimo (ancient threat from Hollow Earth)
The Hollow Earth, as a concept, lends itself to an infinite amount of "ancient" or "undiscovered" titans to be used for upcoming villains. Especially with the line regarding "we've only explored 5% of the hollow earth" from GxK. Even Ghidorah, who did originate from space, was yet another "ancient threat" found in cave paintings as they were on the Earth previously. It's very clear that due to the abundance of this trope in the MV, we need to move away from ancient and buried threats and introduce a villain that Godzilla has never seen before. This will give Godzilla a chance to undergo character development, as being ridiculously old and the alpha titan, we haven't really seen him fight anything he doesn't already know almost everything about. He knew about the MUTOs, he knew about Ghidorah, he sealed away Skar and the ancient apes, fought a whole war against Kongs, and there are cave paintings of him fighting Shimo already. We NEED an alien threat to not only get away from the Hollow Earth, but to also show the possibility of more growth and adaptation for this Godzilla, from both a character and power standpoint as well.
Plus, it's pretty clear that the Hollow Earth is going to be Kong's domain moving forward, so having Godzlla fight ANOTHER "undiscovered" threat from there makes no sense with the universe they're setting up.
2) But why Hedorah?
Now that we've established the need for our villain to be alien in origin, most people would probably rather see SpaceGodzilla or Gigan if given the option. I'm going to get to why they shouldn't be in contention later, but let's talk about what Hedorah is and what he represents as a perfect antithesis of Legendary Godzilla.
Hedorah is a being of pure pollution, of toxic gas and sulfur. It's questionable as to whether he even contains the capacity for pure malice, as all of his fights in his own movie are technically self-defense. The issue is that his very existence, what he breathes out and what he thrives on, is a danger to all life on this planet. He's not an evil figure in the Destoroyah/SpaceGodzilla sense, he is just fighting to survive like any stray organism would. It's just that his survival is a death sentence for everyone else. This is the first point in his favor as to why he makes sense to me. He is a very "grounded" creature for a walking pollution monster. Gigan and SpaceGodzilla have distinct designs, origins, and personalities which, even after the bombastic personality shown by Skar King (who is still an ape very closely tied to humans) would be a very hard sell to modern western audiences. A giant chicken cyborg assassin from space? A flying space-faring version of Godzilla? Even King Ghidorah, who was represented as a highly intelligent alien seeking to dominate and destroy, is a far easier sell than either of those two. Especially with Wingard supposedly wanting to make the series gritty again, I think Hedorah just works because he is an invasive organism and nothing more. He just happens to be VERY dangerous
The other big reason he works is a narrative one: he is the absolute antithesis and foil to Godzilla and every other titan. The titans in the monsterverse are regarded as the guardians of nature, who heal habitats with their very presence and radiation and some who fight with their lives to preserve the balance of nature and their ecosystems. Hedorah is the worst possible thing these titans could encounter. A pure destroyer, not just of cities and towns, but of the very environment itself which they cherish so much. A death sentence for the reason for being for every titan. This would also help center Godzilla back into his role as the adjudicator of the will of nature. The last 2 films have shown Godzilla exclusively in "alpha titan" mode, slaying and fighting titans nonstop to retain his throne and even causing small debates among the fandom as to whether or not he's the good guy anymore. Hedorah as a foil would firmly center Godzilla's character back to where we started him as in the MonsterVerse, with him being a deity-like protector of ecosystems and nature itself, which can indeed also include humans. I'm sorry, but, back to our other aliens, I don't think that him defending earth from a Gigan or SpaceG invasion as earth's "alpha" again really hits these hard narrative beats to fix the parts of Godzilla's character that Wingard has discarded.
It's also no secret that Yoshimitsu Banno, the creator of Hedorah and his biggest fan, is almost the sole reason that the Godzilla trademark was brought back to America and why the MonsterVerse even exists. You can look it up if you're unfamiliar, but I think it would be necessary and emotional tribute to the late, great, Banno to see his feature monster, literally the reason the trademark is even here, to be brought to life by the MonsterVerse
3) The cool factor
Hedorah is also just cool as fuck. Multiple forms, nigh-unkillable, some truly insane abilities, all of this being even especially able to be brought to life vividly with new CGI technology. We could see some truly insane, even eldritch-looking forms for Hedorah with some good creativity behind it. It would also make for gnarly moments and good fights, as seeing Godzilla get his skin burned down to bone (like he did in the Showa era) would be rad as fuck for Legendary Goji, and knowing that pure brute force just doesn't work against Hedorah opens up so many avenues for human cooperation, and more development for Godzilla as we finally see how he reacts and analyzes a situation that he can't just beat or breath his why out of.
4) The negatives
Probably the two biggest negatives for this happening are a) having to buy the rights from Toho and b) Hedorah has low name recognition outside of Kaiju fans.
While I can't argue with the first one really, I will say that they still decided to pay up for Mothra at the last minute, meaning it might not be too much of an issue for them. I also don't think that the low name recog would be too bad. Godzilla is a VERY HOT IP at the moment, with Minus One and New Empire being smash hits financially, I think that the next solo Godzilla movie would put tons of butts in seats no matter what. But that's an opinion and not based on too much fact, so you're free to disagree. It's not like SpaceGodzilla and Gigan are that much more well-known to "casuals" than Hedorah. I would say that they managed to fill seats with entirely new monsters in Shimo and Skar, but Kong also played a role.
5) That's it
I mainly had this on my mind at work and saved my thoughts for later. Let me know if you agree or disagree. I am "biased" as a big fan of Hedorah, true.
But I think it all lines up. Being from space, being anti-nature by definition, being an incredibly powerful threat, and its status as a tribute to Banno, I think it just works!

On vacation thinking about you. I thought being thousands of miles away would help, but there is no flight I can take to get me out of my own head. There is not a single place on this Earth that can provide me an escape from my thoughts.
It feels as though we had made progress yet remained stagnant. I hate to feel like I’ve been manipulated all this time and that you never felt the same way. The hardest truth to accept is that we never saw each other the same way. Every time I think about that, it feels as though my heart breaks again. I absolutely hate the feeling and I find myself avoiding it whenever possible. I don’t know how or when I allowed myself to get this deep emotionally, but I wish I was stricter on myself. I wish I knew when to stop and let go instead of holding on tighter.
Accepting that this is not anything you want has been extremely hard for me. You have come in and out my life, and every time I want to believe that you want to change for yourself and for me. When you say you don’t want a relationship, the “with me” part is silent. That hurts to think about and I’ve found myself avoiding accepting that.
I’ve finally been able to admit that this relationship has wounded my heart and my ego more than I ever cared to admit. I gave you so much of myself because it felt right to do and in the end it was not enough. I hate how insecure it made me, I hate how angry I’ve become. It is a constant battle with my heart and mind because although my heart welcomes you with open arms, my mind doesn’t forget. It has become difficult to trust anything because I feel as though I spent so long second guessing you.
Spending time with you has set me back from moving on and I blame myself for it. I love hanging out with you. I love spending time with you. You were my best friend and my favorite person to talk to. I love laughing with you and I love being able to talk about everything under the sun with you. I could be myself with you in a way that brought out my inner child. I struggle with rejection, and to have things end up like this has been very difficult to get over. Feeling like a placeholder rather than a partner to you has been hard to get over. And despite knowing my worth, I’d be lying if I said that the pain has made it harder to remember sometimes.
Despite bringing out the best in me, this relationship has also shown me the not so good parts of me. The part that struggles to let go of my need for control in situations. The part that gets triggered by being ignored, because it makes me feel very small in the same way my mother used to make me feel. The parts of me that can be harder to love on a bad day. These are things that I pray to heal from, and I want to learn how to not let my triggers get a reaction out of me every time. Learning how to sit in my emotions until I feel like I have processed my emotions enough to confidently express them.
Our love has become a lot like the dysfunction we’re used to, even if it was unintentional. That breaks my heart more than anything because I believe we’re both better than that. We talk so much about self development and generational trauma, and it is so fucking hard to not fall into. I see so much of me in you and sometimes I see exactly where we clash. To that point, I also see why even through the chaos I felt like you were the person for me. I fear I’ve done what I said I would never do again, and it is falling in love with potential. Aside from that though, I love who you are as a person. Sometimes I wish you saw yourself the way I see you. Sometimes I also wish that you could just tell me you don’t love me and you never saw this being serious, so that it makes it easier for me to move forward.
I come across these posts that talk about “breadcrumbing”, the concept of giving someone just enough attention so that they stick around, knowing all the while that you have no intentions of being with them. Every time I read those things, I feel my heart sink a little bit because I find that it comes too close to our own relationship. It is emotional manipulation and to realize that you are capable of this has been hard to accept. I have always known that there are people who are capable of it, I’ve come across them many times. I just didn’t anticipate it from you. All the good moments— my favorite moments with you feel like they were shared with an entire different person. I’m realizing that maybe the person that I met and fell in love with is not the person that you are, and I keep holding onto someone that never truly existed.
I have to stop holding my breath hoping things will change with us. You are the first person in such a long, long time that I could be myself with. The way we met, I thought it was fate. I won’t ever go as far to say it was all a mistake, but it was a decision that has cost me a lot. The highs have been amazing, but the lows have been painstakingly low. I cannot allow myself to keep mourning something that was never meant to be, and has not been for some time. The good memories are exactly that— memories. And as time passes, they become more and more distant. The only thing that comforts me is knowing that I am capable of love, the love I never received, and I know that if I can do it once I can do it again.

Note: You've got questions? I've got answers: An Introduction To The Book That Is Me : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
Note: All my other stuff: Masterlist for edgiscript : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
Part 2: [FF4M] Mafia Dog - Part 2 of 7 [Listener Recovery - Physical Therapy] [Naming One Speaker Mommy] [Getting The Listener To Blush] [Naming Listener Puppy] : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
Note: I said in part 1 that I don't expect anyone to do this series. Partly because of the fact that there are 2 speakers throughout. But partly because of chapters like this with explosions or other non-conducive-to-ASMR sounds. If you decide to do this series, it might help to keep the sfx muffled by treating the explosion as being pretty far away.

Part 3

(General car sounds as Carissa is driving with Ronnie.)
Carissa: Ronnie, what’s the ETA on those new firearms?
(Pause.)
Good. I want them prepped and ready by tomorrow morning. What about the ammunition?
(Pause.)
Don’t worry about it. It’s only a small hiccup. I’ll get Kent to push it through channels. Fortunately, we haven’t had any dustups or problems in a while so we still have plenty on hand if something goes wrong, but I want everyone training on the new weapons ASAP, so we’ll use much of our ammo pretty quickly.
(Pause.)
Yes, I said everyone.
(Pause.)
Of course, not Puppy. You know what I meant.
(Pause.)
What was that? Did you just say, “Yes, Mommy?”
(Pause.)
Ok, Ronnie, right or left?
(Pause.)
You heard me. Right or left? I want to know which testicle you’re ok with losing the next time you call me that.
(Pause.)
That’s what I thought. There’s the gym where Jane is working out with Puppy. Just pull up next to Jane’s car.
(Car comes to a stop.)
Stay in the car.
(Car door opens then closes.)
Ronnie, what did I tell you?
(Pause.)
I don’t care if you want to stretch your legs. I don’t feel like dealing with you hassling Puppy right now.
(Pause.)
Fine, you can come in, but play nice.
(Carissa and Ronnie enter the gym. Possible general gymnasium sounds such as weight-lifting equipment being used.)
There they are, at one of the punching bags.
Jane: (From a short distance.) Puppy, look. It’s Mom.
Carissa: Hey there, guys. How goes the… WHOA!
Jane: (Amused.) Wow. That is quite the hug.
Carissa: (Laughs.) Yeah, Puppy. It has been a few days. I’ve missed you too. How have your workouts with Jane been coming?
(Pause.)
That’s great to hear. You’re still my good boy, after all.
Jane: Puppy’s doing phenomenally. He’s already benching over two hundred.
(Pause.)
Yeah, yeah, Ronnie, we all know how much you can lift.
(Pause.)
Shut the hell up, Ronnie.
(Pause.)
Well, maybe if we starved and beat you daily for six months, you wouldn’t be so…
Carissa: Jane! Stop.
Jane: Asshole.
Carissa: Jane! Let it go.
(Pause.)
Ronnie, she’s right. Shut the hell up. Jane, I need to speak with you.
Jane: Can it wait? I was just about to run Puppy around the track to finish our session.
Carissa: It’s important. Puppy, I’m sorry. Do you mind circling the track on your own for a few minutes?
(Pause.)
What? Ronnie? You’ll run with him?
(Seriously, as if she’s really telling him to behave.) Are you sure?
(Pause.)
Well, it’s ok with me if it’s ok with Puppy.
Jane: Oh, Puppy would love that. Go ahead, boy. Go with Ronnie. Show him what you’ve got.
(Puppy and Ronnie walk away.)
Jane: Ok, Carissa, they’re gone. What’s up?
Carissa: Jane, how are you and Puppy doing?
Jane: Fantastic. He’s really come a long way. I think we just need to work on his endurance before…
Carissa: No, no, no, Jane. What I mean is how are you two doing… together? You and Puppy? Any… shall we say, interests there?
Jane: Carissa?
Carissa: Come on, Jane. Don’t “Carissa” me. I know you think he’s cute and I’ve seen the smiles he gives you as well. Have you two been… playing any one-on-one games.
Jane: I don’t think that’s any of your business.
Carissa: Typically, I’d agree. But come on, Jane, you understand the nature of our business and our organization. The longer he stays with us, the greater a liability he is.
Jane: Yeah, I know. But…
Carissa: No, buts. Kent wanted him gone already. Francine knows him and knows she can get what she wants out of him. The longer he’s with us, the more dangerous he is to us.
Jane: Damn, Carissa. I thought you had a heart.
Carissa: You know I love Puppy to death, but at some point we both know we’re going to have to let him go. Hanging on to him for too long puts him at risk too. You know that.
And the longer we keep him around the more difficult it will be on him when we do finally have to say goodbye. We need to set him up with someone or some people who will care for him and watch over him. We can still visit from time to time, but getting him away from us will protect the poor guy.
And… I couldn’t live with myself if he ever got hurt again.
Jane: Oh. Sorry for doubting you, Carissa. Boy, you really are his mom, aren’t you?
Carissa: It’s going to be tough to say goodbye, but I do want what’s best for Puppy.
Jane: Yeah, I know. But…
Carissa: But what? Jane? What are you thinking? What’s with that devilish look in your eye?
Jane: Carissa, what if Puppy stayed with us? For good. As a permanent member of our organization?
Carissa: Jane…
Jane: I know, I know, but hear me out. Everybody in the group loves him and he loves us. He’s loyal to a fault. You know as well as I do that he’d never betray us or give any of us up.
Carissa: If Francine got ahold of him again…
Jane: First of all, never gonna happen. We won’t let it happen. I won’t let it happen.
Second of all, in a worst-case scenario where it did, I honestly don’t think Puppy would give us up for anything.
Carissa: But you know what we do. Ok, let’s say I agree and he wouldn’t give us up. He’d still be dead or worse. We’d be putting him at risk if we kept him with us.
Jane: Yes, we would, but we’re all at risk. We chose to be here. What if Puppy chose too.
Carissa: You’ve already talked about this with him, haven’t you?
Jane: I’ve never given him any specifics. You know I would never do that, Carissa. But, yes, Puppy actually brought it up first. Carissa, he really wants to stay with us. He really does see you as his mom, and he loves you for that.
Carissa: And what does he see you as?
Jane: Oh… well… um…
Carissa: More importantly, how do you feel about him.
Jane: I… I don’t know. I mean, he is super cute, and he’s adorably sweet. And I admit it, I’ve always had a thing for the guy who needs help. I guess… yeah, I kind of like him. I mean, come on, what’s not to like? He’s just a super good guy.
Carissa: Jane, he’s damaged. Are you sure you’re not just feeling sorry for him.
Jane: Maybe, sure. But who’s not damaged? And I’m not saying I want to get married tomorrow. I’m just saying, that… yeah, maybe it is a relationship I want to consider.
Carissa: What about the physical aspect of what we do? We’d be asking a lot of Puppy.
Jane: Oh, my God, Carissa. He can more than handle it. Watch. I’ve been waiting for this.
Carissa: Watch what.
Jane: Look. Ronnie’s been jogging around the track with Puppy, but, as I knew he would, Ronnie’s been slowly picking up the pace. I knew Ronnie’s arrogance would get the better of him. He’s trying to show Puppy up. But watch.
(Pause.)
Carissa: Puppy’s kicking his ass.
Jane: Right? And he’s not at a hundred percent yet. I’m telling you, once Puppy’s at full strength, he could…
(Interrupted by a small explosion and a crash nearby.)
Carissa: What the? Puppy? Ronnie? Damn it! I don’t see either of them in the smoke.
Jane: I think the explosion caused part of that wall to collapse. Puppy was ahead of it when it happened, but Ronnie… Oh my God. Ronnie is trapped underneath the rubble.
Carissa: The ceiling’s losing its integrity. Puppy, there you are. Come here. Get away from the wreckage.
Jane: Puppy! No! What are you doing? Don’t run towards it. The ceiling’s about to fall.
Carissa: Look. He’s lifting that piece of cement so Ronnie can get out.
(Sound of more crumbling.)
Carissa: Oh, thank God. They both made it out.
Puppy, come here. Let me hold you. Good boy. Yes, you’re my brave good boy. You saved Ronnie’s life. That was amazing.
Jane: Ronnie’s gonna be ok. Maybe a concussion, but no wounds I can see.
Carissa: Damn it. This has got to be Francine. It was a targeted attack. Only question is was she after Ronnie, or Puppy?
Jane: You think Puppy might have some information Francine’s afraid of?
Carissa: I don’t know, but it’s worth looking into.
Jane: I’m gonna get Ronnie back to Suzanne. You’ll be ok, Ronnie. Just got the wind knocked out of you.
(Pause.)
What’s that?
(Pause.)
Puppy, Ronnie… is saying thank you for saving his life.
Carissa: What’s that, Puppy?
(Pause.)
Yes, you can go with them and make sure Ronnie’s ok. You be his guard dog. Ok?
(Pause.)
Good boy, Puppy. Jane, you’ve got them both. I’ll stay here and make sure no one else was hurt. Maybe I can find out something more about the blast.
Jane: Stay safe, Carissa.
Carissa: You too. Now go.
(Pause.)
Ok, bomb, talk to me. Show me what you’ve got.
Part 4 coming.

I saw a comment on this, and I firmly believe universities don't focus too much on grades anymore, they aren't the main factor in deciding admissions like they used to be. I see a lot of people saying that a 99+ average should guarantee you into ultra competitive programs such as UW CS, but I personally disagree. The thing that will guarantee you admission is not a ridiculously high avg, but rather insanely stacked/unique ECs. A high avg is something anybody can achieve if they put in enough work, but ECs is something that requires initiative. Success doesn't come from intelligence, but rather having initiative and passion. This is what sets apart those with only high averages from those with outstanding extracurricular achievements, and universities have likely recognized this. For reference, when I started grade 12, I didn't know much about uni admissions. My dream program was UW, and I thought I simply had to get good grades and it was gonna be easy from there (my ECs lacked terribly but I didn't think it mattered that much), fast forward to may, I had a 97-98 avg, and got rejected from CE and CS (deferred). I only realized how important ECs were when I discovered this subreddit and saw how many people were much more experienced than I was. With that said, going back to my main point. As much as I hate to say it, if you want to have a good chance at getting into CS/SE/CE at UW or any ridiculously competitive programs, your'e gonna need to start grinding your extracurriculars in grade 9, get them as stacked as possible, try landing part time jobs/interns, do outside volunteer work, start clubs at your school, get involved with clubs at your school, make connections, start side projects, and find hobbies. Just try to do as much as possible, do stuff that makes you stand out. Obviously you should still focus on your grades, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't put your sole focus on them. And if you're in grade 12 reading this, you can still take this advice to use as you're just entering into university. You will undoubtedly be successful if you push this mindset into your university career. If you're like "damn i wish i read this when i was entering high school", well be glad that you're reading this right now as you're entering into a new phase of your academic journey. Good luck everyone 🫡

I just can’t do discord anymore. I play 8 games and they all have their own discord. I had to turn off Discord notifications on the app because I was getting them by the 100s. I’m not privy on how to use it, but now that it seems every clan is requesting and requiring discord. It’s just overwhelming because the nonsensical notifications.
Why is it so hard to just be able to chat in the clan chat on the Destiny 2 app or in game chat and that’s it?
Why do I need to be subjected to hentai channels and whatever BS, just to be in a clan?
It’s just way too much on Discord Mobile.
I just want to play the damn game with people who are competent and not off LFG, but with out discord it seems like I will NEVER be able to join a clan.
I think it’s maybe time for me to put up being a guardian.
The game just isn’t fun, people rage quit instantly in raids. Don’t take the initiative to claim rolls and just want to add clear or do the bare minimum, let alone communicate and 100% of the time people join with no mics.
Destiny has a level of remedial players and they know how to capitalize on that incompetence.
I have been more frustrated since retuning to Destiny as a D1 player than I ever have had with any other game.
The instant “join the discord” just further hinders the enjoyment for the game. I don’t want to join your discord. Use in game chat, use in game clan shat. YOURE IN GAME HOW THE FUCK YOU DONT SEE THE CHAT? Oh right you have it turned off.
I’m just over it at this point. I miss the days where I could just load up and have people to play with and go from there. Not trying to jump through a thousand and one hoops just to play.

“…. Hmm….” The thing ponders the sight before him. A world in flame, icons of chaos destroyed and their followers laying dead before them. The souls of the damned cling to the earth, their whispers hanging in the wind. He can hear them, all of them, and he listens to them all, taking in their hatred into his own being. He can feel his power grow ever so slightly with their hatred, and it serves to bolster his own, forging it into a weapon to use against Them.
“My Lord…” A voice sounds behind him, he turns to see a Astartes, his armor half black and half white, with horns adorning his armor. He wields a power axe in one hand and the other is encased within a power fist.
“…. Speak Asher.” The thing says, turning to look at the Astartes. The thing stands about ten feet tall, his body covered in what looks like fur, but upon a closer look appears to be a mass of countless individual tendrils. He has a massive tail with a gaping maw of teeth at the end, and his face was an elongated skull-like visage, with four hours adorning it.
“We have gathered up the individuals you requested, the sorcerer and his retinue.” Asher said, brushing some ash off his shoulder. “Zion was injured but other then that there were no casualties, they were already quite injured from our initial bombardment on this planet, our Librarians are keeping the sorcerer in check at the moment.”
The thing gave a nod to Asher, his face unemotive. They walked into the ruined Chaos fortress, the iconography of the ruinous powers lay defiled and defaced throughout the fortress, and symbols of a half black half white skull now stood in their place. When the thing and Asher made their way to the dungeons, the Chaos sorcerer was being held down by two librarians using psychic chains, his red armor and hooded helm shaking in pain. “You may stop. Leave us.” Without a word, the librarians dismiss their psychic chains and leave with Asher, leaving just the Sorcerer and the thing in the cold stone room. “…. So, how’ve you been?” The thing asked, just as a blast of warp fire was shot into his face by the sorcerer.
“You blasphemous fool! Who do you think you are?! Do you know who I am?!! I-“ the sorcerer is interrupted by the thing gripping the hand casting the warp fire, his mind barely having time to register the movement before the pain of his arm being torn from his body sears through his body. The sorcerer yells in agony, as the thing stands before him, the last of the warp fire wisping away from his unharmed head.
“I see you are still impulsive as always Serviel…” the sorcerer almost froze at the mention of his name, and in the voice of the thing before him he felt a twinge of familiarity. “It’s why you lost your arm that one time, you told me it was from a duel with an ork, but every knew you got hit by a rocket. Looks like you got that arm thing fixed though…” The thing dangles the arm he just tore off, tendrils sticking out from the stub and wiggling around, trying to find its host. He tosses the arm onto the ground and snaps his finger, igniting the arm in black flames, burning the thing into ash as it slowly dies. “… Now, I have a question for you Serviel…”
“Y-You… who are-“ the tail of the thing slams into Serviel, collapsing one of his three lungs and making him cough up blood.
“You’ll get your chance to speak, for now, shut up and answer me…” the Thing’s tail opens it’s maw and picks up Serviel, sitting him upright as the Thing gets up close to Serviel’s face, looking him in the eyes. “Where is Vashtorr heading?”
Serviel looked surprised, like he expected maybe something else to be asked, but he grit his teeth through the pain and answered, “Ghh! I… I don’t know… we were sent here to gather resources for the Wyrmwood… we… we weren’t told anything else….”
The Thing lets out a growl of frustration, another dead end. Either he isn’t acting on leads fast enough or Vashtorr is actively messing with him. As he thinks about his next steps, Serviel looks at him questioningly. The Thing notices and looks at him. “… Well? Out with it.”
“… So you’re alive…” Serviel says, and the Thing just shrugs.
“Sort of.” He says, putting a hand around the nape of Serviel’s neck. He has had this conversation many times, this is the part where they insult him and belittle him. He used to pull them apart slowly and painfully before but he just wanted to kill him quickly and be done with it.
“You… you know she’s still looking for you…” Those words make the Thing stop for a moment, his hands loosening slightly around Serviel’s neck. The memories of her are still bright in his mind, her voice was that of an angel’s, her beauty was nothing but serine, and her kindness knew no bounds…. That’s how it was long ago, the woman she was is now long gone….
“… Yea… I know she is…” the Thing breaks Serviel’s neck with a flick of his wrist, too fast for Serviel to have felt it. He drinks in his soul, absorbing it into his being, where the ruinous powers will have hold of him no more… The Thing leaves the dungeon and makes it to the command room of the fortress, where Asher and his second in command wait for him. “Asher. Argal.” The Thing says, addressing them both. “This planet is ours now, I can assume you’ve already pacified the local populace?”
Argal Tal steps up to the Thing, he is more mutated than most of his brothers but other than that he wears untainted armor custom made to fit his bulkier form, and he stands almost eight feet tall, with every bit of the nobility he had during the great crusade. “It is done my lord, we have successfully convinced them we are servants of the emperor, the indoctrination plans are already in place, we suspect within a few generations this planet will be devoted entirely to you.”
“On top of all that…” Asher says, “We have collected any and all equipment usable to us. Our ammo stockpiles are at maximum capacity, as are most of our other requirements.”
The Thing looks at Asher, nodding in approval. “Good. Even if we aren’t any closer to Vashtorr, we are at least better off now than before.”
“No luck with the sorcerer then, eh my lord?” Asher ask, his voice unsurprised.
“Nope.” The Thing says flatly, slightly annoyed by Asher’s tone but knows he’s just being the sarcastic individual that he is. “Now, leave me. Take care of what needs taking care of out there…” He orders as he steps out onto the balcony of the command room, the sound of ceremite armor clinking and then stomping off soon growing distant and leaving only silence. A few minutes of this pass by, the Thing thinking back too a time before all this madness. A time when humanity was on the upswing, when things like daemons and the gods were the furthest things from the people’s mind, a time when… when he had her.“….. Still here Argal?” He says, aware that Argal Tal hasn’t left the room.
“…. Your thinking about Mother again, aren’t you?” Argal ask, and the twitch from the Thing’s shoulders tells him he’s right. “…. We will save her Little Light, we will free her from the forces that have broken her.” Argal says, walking up next to the Thing he called Little Light, a title of endearment that his Gene-Mother gave to him. “And you are the key to that, you are the reason why I am here and able to aid you in this mission… all of us, we are your sons now, and we stand with you.”
“… I know… I know…” Little Light says, appreciating Argal Tal’s faith in him and his goals. “… We have much to do, and I fear time may be running out… make sure your brothers are ready for when the time comes for us to move…”
Argal Tal bows, “It will be done… Lord Malal….”

I've developed a crush on this person in one of my classes. It was actually because I thought they liked me after an incident, and then I began to like them (weird ik). I've thought up of a plan, at it was basically to just wait until I get assigned with them for a project. However, my teacher never assigns me with this person. The semesters ending and we may have one project left to do, which is a solo project. Not to mention this persons a grade older than me (It's a 9/10 split class). Everytime I've told someone about having a crush in the past, it goes horribly wrong. I don't wanna tell people, no matter who it is and how much I trust them, cause I've been exposed to fake friends before. The most polarizing part is I whole-heartedly think they like me back. They stare at me for abnormal amounts of time (I think the longest was five minutes straight), they seem to get nervous when I'm near them, I've overheard them talking about me and how we've never talked, and I think I've seen them blush at me. This is probably just me being me, but just talking to them straight up out of nowhere seems really weird, but maybe it's the only way. advice might be too scared to talk to a minor, as I made the same post there with no response, so this is my only outlet it seems like.
How do I do this

The only reason they made me believe it was bad for me to be angry was because they were doing the most horrific fucking things imaginable and didn't want me to retaliate despite having every right and reason to do so. They wanted to scream at me whenever they wanted over fucking nothing and then expect me to be the same happy and compliant slave (or child, as they called me). They expected me to forget anything they did to me and somehow believe them when they denied that they did anything wrong. THEY MADE ME HOMELESS RATHER THAN ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT THEY DID WAS WRONG AND THEN HAD THE FUCKING GALL TO SHAME ME FOR NOT GETTING A JOB IMMEDIATELY AND FINANCIALLY MANIPULATED ME INTO COMING BACK TO LIVE WITH THEM.
THESE WERE NOT PARENTS. THEY WERE FUCKING MONSTERS. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY EVER HAVE CRITICIZED ME FOR ANYTHING WHEN THEY BLATANTLY AND SHAMELESSLY--WITHOUT A SINGLE FUCKING DROP OF REMORSE--USED ME FOR THEIR OWN PURPOSES AND PREVENTED ME MAKING MY OWN CHOICES ABOUT MY OWN LIFE. The sheer audacity of them to ever have told me I was doing something "wrong" when they never taught me how to do it is beyond absurd. I feel like I was raised by two cartoon villains. They really were that comically evil.
AND THEY NEVER, EVER, EVER ALLOWED ME THE DIGNITY TO BE ANGRY ABOUT IT. NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY FRUSTRATED OR ANNOYED. THEY FORCED ME TO KEEP THAT FUCKING MASK OF COMPLIANCE AND HAPPINESS ON FOR MY WHOLE FUCKING CHILDHOOD AND WOULD HAVE NEVER STOPPED DOING IT IF I DIDN'T ESCAPE. AND WHEN I DID GET ANGRY AND FINALLY DID SNAP AFTER DECADES OF FUCKING ABUSE AND TORTURE, THEY DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY REALITY. I TRULY HOPE THEY DIE SOON SO I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM EVER INVADING MY LIFE EVER AGAIN.
Choices they took away from me:
The right to have my own friends without their explicit consent and deep involvement to the point of them being obsessed and showing up at my friends' houses randomly like fucking stalkers.
The right to choose my own college and major (they only let me do the major I initially chose because it was what they wanted to--when I told them I was switching they screamed at me and forced me to stay in the old one).
The right to have my own job instead of ndad forcing me to work at his business and never paying me on time and constantly finding truly evil excuses to underpay me or not pay me at all. Nmom also told me that: "I should be grateful for getting the chance to work for ndad at all and I shouldn't make him pay me." What a fucking monster.
The right to date whoever I wanted and not random girls that they met and they wanted me to date.
The right to be angry, tell them no, make my own decisions, have my own independence, plan my own future, AND TO REFUSE TO LISTEN TO ANY OF THEIR CYNICAL ADVICE THAT ALWAYS WAS MEANT TO UNDERMINE ME WHEN I WAS DOING WELL.
And much more.
I'm feeling the anger now and it almost feels like it's too little, too late. I can't punch them in the face. I can't scream back at them. I can't do anything to change what they did to me and how that caused my life to be in the past. I can't change any of it and it's maddening. Yes, I have a future now and am free from them thanks to going no contact, but holy shit it's not remotely easy to move on from what they did to me without letting myself feel and express all of the sheer rage I have at them.

Okay so I haven’t really “been” in a sibling-friendship phase or whatever you want to call it. But I have friends who say it all the time but I literally just think it’s just a coverup for like a toxic friendship. It’s all over the internet as well, and having a “sibling phase” or a “best friend who’s like a sister” relationship they always talk about how they fight ALL the time. And for my friends it’s that way too. They seem to be always fighting, usually over nonsense things. And whenever they get into these arguments, it’s usually only one of them that starts it. And then that friend won’t talk to the other friend knowing they’re upset and want to talk about the situation, but will let them sit there not knowing where the friendships stands, and I’m the one that has to hear about it in the end. They also usually separate themselves from the group, literally walking away in their own without the rest of the group while we’re out and leaving us on our own in places we don’t know where we are. Talking about people in the group on their own, or handing out just 1 on 1. Which I wouldn’t really mind that much but it’s mostly the principle of the situation (it feels like they don’t care as much about us/me) And then we/I have to deal with the backlash of their falling outs? And it’s not just a once every few months thing when they fight/argue. It’s MULTIPLE times a month, to the point where I was actually anxious to go out with them because I was scared they were going to get into a fight.
I just kind of wanted some advice for how to deal with this. And to see if I’m being crazy abt this or not. Actually at this point after a huge argument with those two friends and another friend in the group I’m not really sure if there IS a friendship with them anymore, but I just want to see if anyone else agrees and thinks this is toxic or is it like normal?
Thanks for reading and pls share your thoughts

Hello! You may have heard from me before or probably not but I figure it is time for me to make my own post on this sub! I have met some great friends on here and most recently a fantastic friend that sadly due to some unfortunate circumstances we aren't chatting nearly as much as we used to! With that being said I am looking for a friend - I am open to any gender as a friend and though it is flaired 30-39 Anyone 18+ can message me. I will say that people nearer to my age will probably have more to talk about with me.
I have a ton of interests though so if you share any of them please feel free to reach out! I enjoy bike riding, a good hike from time to time, talking on the phone, reading, playing MTG and other games!
A friend to confide in and to vent to/with would be ideal! Let's talk about how great or how awful life is. I can be a shoulder you cry on or someone to pat your back in congratulations for something done well!
Whatever the vibes are I am sure we will find something to chat about. The only thing that I ask is that if you are prone to ghosting just let me know beforehand so I don't get too attached!
Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you all soon!!

Okay so I still haven’t been paid for my first four days of orientation and I’ve been telling my supervisor about it and three checks later, I still don’t have it. I was getting pretty upset and someone suggested that I talk to my shop steward. I had never talked to him before, so I was a little shy, but I went up to him this morning and even though he seemed in the middle of something, he talked to me and I told him what was going on. He told me we could absolutely talk to a supervisor about it together and told me to remind him about it first thing tomorrow since he was about to go out on his route, and then he asked me how much money I was missing to which I said “four days of orientation.”
He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me for a few seconds and then said “you follow me.” Then walked inside and stormed up to the supervisor desk and yelled “HEY! GIVE MY MAN HIS FUCKING MONEY!” I was just sheepishly standing there behind him because holy shit I was NOT expecting that. The supervisor who was there wasn’t in charge of payroll so he was like “hey hey I’d want my money too so I get it, but you’d need to talk to [payroll supervisor] about it tomorrow.” which my shop steward told me we absolutely would be doing. Before I left, he told me he left a very angry voicemail to the payroll supervisor and we would get me paid.
My last job was at a movie theater and there was one week I was missing $100 and kept going to my manager and eventually cut my losses and stopped trying and it eventually showed up by chance. I never had anyone at a job advocate for me like that or get so angry on my behalf. I was telling my sister about it tonight and she was like “that’s honestly kinda badass” and I couldn’t agree more.

Me [33M] and my wife [32F] have been together for 9 years and married for 7 years now with two children. She's a SAH mom while I work full time.
Back when we were dating, I already knew that she had some unresolved issues with her family and noticed some anger issues where when she gets worked up, it's almost impossible to calm her down and discuss anything reasonable. From what I was told, her parents often neglected her emotions and feelings unless she goes into a maniac state growing up. Being from a dysfunctional family myself, I reckoned that this is something we can work on, but things just get worse and worse once we had kids, especially when her parents are around.
Her unresolved issues with her parents cause her to be constantly upset and uneasy whenever they're around. She can't stand every little thing that they do or say. For example, she would constantly be talking about her mom's bad posture, judging how she interacts with others, nagging about her diet and blood pressure and eventually followed by an outburst about why her mom never listens to her. She does this with my mom too, where she would repeatedly point out her flaws, her dating history, spending habits. I know she comes from a good place and simply wants the best for everyone, and I actually do agree with some of the stuff she says, but she's also making it very stressful for everyone around her. It's like she has a problem with everyone around us that she can't get pass and we're constantly being nagged about different things about how we live our lives and anything that we do or say around her might upset her. When we get tired of listening to her and become annoyed, she'd flipped out and go on her anger spree. Family gatherings are a nightmare for me when she's around because I would be constantly worried about what other people would say or do that might trigger her.
When she's having an outburst, she goes on a rampage for hours of either bringing up past fights or demanding an apology for letting her get to that point of anger. Even when I do apologize, she can still go on for hours after that. The worst part is that when she gets triggered, she'd flipped out anywhere, no matter who she's with. She'd do it in front of friends, our parents and even our kids, which is what I care about the most. I've tried talking to her at a time where she's calm or when she brings it up herself because she also acknowledges that she has this issue. I've stated my bottom line many times, which is to not do this in front of the kids, but it still keeps happening over and over again. During the most recent incident I was so defeated that I told her if this keeps happening, I really don't see a way forward in our relationship - I don't know how long I can keep doing this. The way that she talks and behave when she's mad in front of our kids is really unacceptable for me.
I sympathize with her as much as I can because I also didn't have the perfect family situation growing up. She didn't want kids but decided to do it because she knew that's what I really wanted to do. She's a loving mother when she's not having an outburst and would always feel guilty about it after having one. Giving up on her is the last thing I want to do but I don't know how I can avoid doing that without having our kids constantly exposed to this.

My living situation is something equivocal to a telenovela. I live with my ex, and two other roommates. One of them is MIA because I called her out on not showering for WEEKS on end, making a mess everywhere, making the house smell bad, sleeping on the couch and making that also reek of BO. She has left dirty underwear on the couch and the list goes on, but thankfully she is gone.
My ex is now my best friend and we get along really well now. I am seeing someone else and he is totally cool with it - they get along really well and it’s really cool.
My MAIN issue for this post is this roommate who is a COMPLETE thorn in my side. My ex and I are both at Witt’s end with him. He lies about EVERYTHING. He lies about things that don’t matter at all. He lies so often that they don’t match up with the lies he has told other people. He is always about himself and is beyond selfish. His cat needed surgery and the first thing he did when he walked into the pet ER after seeing the initial quote was “I cannot afford that, let’s take him and go home” this was after hours of me literally nurturing this poor kitten as much as I could. The veterinary staff was explaining to him all of the financial options and that there are resources out there to help cover costs. He kept cutting the staff off with his nonsense. Eventually my ex and I had to convince him to fill out an application for discounted services. The application was estimated to take about 45 minutes and all he did the entire time was sigh and complain about how “hard it was” and “he is stressed” which was beyond irritating. Moreover, the kitten got surgery and is doing very well now! I ended up doing most of the medication administration and aftercare. Which I only did because it was an animal in need and I am not a monster.
His sister got a major surgery - he didn’t check in on her. He did, however, call her and ask for a ride the day after her procedure. Their brother flew in from across the country to assist in the care of their sister and he hadn’t made an effort to see him for over a month.
He eats all the food. Literally all of it. Anything that I get for food I have to hide in my room because otherwise he’ll get too stoned and eat it all. He also expects me or another roommate to cook for him. He doesn’t directly say it, but insinuates it with his words.
He has sexually assaulted myself and another roommate while he was extremely intoxicated and claims to have no recollection of it. He is very creepy with girls and says things that are very disturbing. He says borderline homophobic, racist and misogynistic comments regularly. I also am starting to believe that he may be a bit of a pædophile with some of his comments about the age of consent being lowered.
He thinks he has his family to support him.
I have been in contact with his siblings and mother. Yes, I am his roommate and I acquired the numbers of his family from them. They reached out to me and provided me their information when we first moved in together - which I should have seen that red flag immediately. He has sexually assaulted his sister’s partner in front of the entire family because he was too drunk with the premise of “you really want a man and I look like my sister, so you want me” so, clearly he cannot stay with them. His brother has had it with him and loves him from a distance - so to speak. Their mother moved into a 55+ community to ensure that he can’t stay with her. She is a mom and well, loves her son, but is also fed up. He has done some VERY questionable acts in the past. Things including taking medication from seniors in a senior living facility and selling them / taking them to get high, drinking and driving regularly - to the point where he got in a car accident (which the story about that changed like 5x as well) without car insurance and had to pay for it all out of pocket just to get drunk a few days after getting his car repaired and drove home. He has also struggled with addiction most of his life. Normally I would be understanding of that, however, he takes no accountability nor does he even think that anything is wrong - he’ll acknowledge his addictions, but sees nothing wrong with it. He can’t deal with life sober at all.
He lies about everything. It’s so often that it’s hard to tell reality from fable. We try and find nice things about him, but honestly with how consistently he lies and does questionable acts it is very difficult to oversee all of that.
I could go on and on about how this guy lives and drives me up a wall.
Our lease is up in a few months. I am very much so aware of the fact that he has nowhere to go. OH! He also got an eviction notice from a previous landlord shortly after we got approved for our current apartment. That basically solidifies the fact that he has nowhere to go.
I need roommates to fill the spaces. He also has kittens that I am actually fearful for their future care because of his blatant negligence for life. He makes money to pay rent, but is an absolute nightmare.
I am in a pickle.
SOS lol 🤦🏼‍♂️

As the title states, this is a tale of two troubles.
Trouble 1: my anxiety and my anger issues have a fun time making my actions get a little quirky.
Trouble 2: there’s a girl involved in all of this and I want to be her boyfriend but I don’t want to scare her.
Here’s the background: I’m a plain and simple guy for the most part. I do a little bit of comedy, I’m a musician, and I’m very clingy when I find someone that I can boast of how they make me feel safe/happy. In more recent times, this girl and I have been avoiding each other after we had a few falling outs. It’s hard to think about, but it’s constantly on my mind. When we first met, it was because she was doing some work for me as a thumbnail artist. We go to the same school, so I’d pay her after classes. Eventually we fell for each other and she wanted me to take her out on a date. I prepared everything, I made sure to ask friends how they did things so I could compare and contrast how things could go for me.
A day or two goes by and then we’re in a situation where we are linking arms and being goofy (it’s in our natures), I felt confident enough to share some candy with her, and so I did. She appreciated the gesture, but then later she texted me saying she didn’t want to move forward with things and so she was going to take a few days to process. She didn’t say she wanted to move backwards, but in my head and in my heart; it felt like she wanted to be as far from me as possible (I suppose that was my anxiety?). I couldn’t bear it and so I was profusely trying to revive things when I kept kicking myself about it.
Eventually, time passes and she reaches out again to try and test the waters. Things go well at first; but then something happened to my grandfather and I was constantly sitting down at random places trying to hold myself together. I guess it looked different to her because she told me one day that she felt uncomfortable with how I was acting, so I did my best to hide myself away from her. I tried being better, but my frustrations and my fears got the best of me, and so we stopped talking all together. I texted her an apology twice and even sent her an invite to go see something that I was performing in to let her know how I felt. She must’ve felt panicked and so she removed me from her contact lists and the like.
Next year, I became rather peculiar and always brought sweet treats to school. I would hand them out to all the kids, but I was very hesitant to share with her, and eventually she texted me again to say thanks, and we had a little conversation from there. I didn’t know why she bothered texting me if she didn’t feel comfortable being in contact with me, but she did and later she told me why. We had a falling out. We had two or three more falling outs, I gave out more candy and included her in the mix… to this day, she’s the first person I think of when I give out candy (my priest told me to do this as an act of penance), but we don’t talk so much… and I want to make things right between us.
TL;DR:
There’s a girl who has seriously affected my anxiety and anger issues, and I’ve been horrible too; but I want to make things right.

All names have been changed to protect everyone’s info. When this happened I was 21.
Long one so buckle up! So I (21f at the time) met this girl we’ll call Amy. I met Amy volunteering at a library where she just ordered people on what to do, despite only being a volunteer herself, not a librarian. Anyway… only after 7 months of knowing her she dates this guy, (we’ll call him Ben) and gets engaged within two months because she was pregnant. I kid you not, she married this guy 3 months after meeting him. I thought that was a questionable choice, but was not confrontational.
When my then fiancé and I went on a double date with Amy and Ben, Ben was nice. My fiancé loved hanging out with him due to similarities in hobbies. After dinner in bed, my fiancé is on his computer and trying to add Ben on Facebook. After searching his name up and trying nicknames and full names, we find a FRICKIN ARTICLE about how this dude slly a*ted women. I was shocked and sent the link to my Amy, worried for her. She replies with “Don’t worry, I know! He’s a changed man!! I can’t have my baby with no daddy!” Literally that, with some other stuff. Keep in mind he was only charged 2 years ago with barely any punishment. (It didn’t say exactly on the article) I, decided to leave it at that but told Amy that if she needs me, she can text or call anytime and I can help.
Fast forward to when Amy becomes a bridezilla…
Amy asks me to be her MOH! Not a BM, (not baby mamas auntie charlotte 🤭) a MOH!! And my fiancé was asked to be a best man. I accepted because Amy and I were pretty close. As soon as I accept, Amy clicks a switch. She informed me as a MOH I should be paying for the catering, BM dresses, and HER dress. As well as the Air BNB for a resort area in Hawaii! I told her that I would be willing to pay for catering and the BM dress, as well as mine (my fiancé and I were pretty well off, he said it would fine to do so.) just the total of those things would have been almost 3,000 dollars. (1,500 for dresses and 1,500 for food) she tells me that she needs help because she’s pregnant and can’t work. Amy was 2 months pregnant and worked part time at a desk. I tell her I’m sorry, but 10k quite a bit. She huffs and puffs but gets over it.
ONE DAY before the wedding we are rehearsing. It’s going well, until Amy tells me I need to change the menu for food and the BM dresses. I was shocked and asked why to which she said the menu we had now was not trendy enough and she liked a new color for the dresses. I inform her that I can’t make that happen with adjustments with the dresses and we already had the food in a freezer. Amy gets LIVID. Saying how she’s done soo much for me by being my friend and she can’t afford to change the menu. Like okay then don’t do it girl. Her fiancé took her home. I got a text from her saying how she sooo pregnant (as in 2-3 months) and she just gets cranky sometimes. More like delusional (not even delulu).
Day of the wedding comes and I see the cream white BM dresses an olive/baby poop green.I was shocked and asked Amy what happened. She said she dyed them the color she wanted them! I was surprised but didn’t bother her about it because it was her wedding. 20 minutes later, she asks if I can do her and her BMs makeup. I asked where the makeup artist was and she said she cancelled them to save herself some money. I told her I don’t do very good make up and I only do simple make up and she’s like oh OK sure do it good though. So I do 5 full faces of makeup including mine. By the time that’s done I’m exhausted mentally and we have 2 hours until the ceremony. I go to find Amy’s dress and can’t so I ask her where it is. This MF tells me I was to buy it!! I tell her I bought mine and the BMs dresses. Amy starts freaking out and lashing out on me. I tell her to calm down and I can get a white party dress if mine (looks like it could be for a wedding) and it will still look great in her. She goes “Ooh nice I don’t have to charge anyone for me renting a dress” and I’m like gurl.
Ceremony comes without too much trouble… until.
I have this teenage cousin (15-16f) of Amy who tells me Ben has been trying to get him and her alone. This poor girl we’ll call Carla was having a panic attack so my fiancé (he’s a psychologist) calms her down quickly and has her explain the situation to Amy hoping Amy will know what to do. What does Amy decide to do? To tell Carla she is a liar and Ben is too perfect to want a DISGUSTING LITTLE GIRL LIKE HER. This is when I had enough and tell Amy that that was horrible of her and I will be leaving with Carla and her accompanying people. Amy scoffs at me and just goes back to the crowd to look like the perfect wife and person in front of everyone.
I eventually was able to completely cut off ties with Amy and her family. Ben is now in jail or was and Amy now has a drug addiction (probably from the help of Ben) with her parents raising her kid to keep him safe.
That is my tea. (Sorry it’s so long and if there are spelling mistakes)

Background
Demographic: White, male, age 30, 5' 5", 175 +/- 5lbs.
Lifestyle: Active (workout 3-4x per week), Desk/Physical work split of 90/10%.
Complaint: Abdominal injury and pain (1 year and 8 months since injury), presently inconsistent pains levels between 3-5/10 and consistent lingering discomfort (1-2/10).
Medication: No consistent medications, no allergies.
Drug use: alcohol (1-3x per month), non-smoker.
History of the Injury
Late August of 2022, I hurt myself doing a kip on horizontal bar outdoors. Right after raising my feet to the bar and kicking my legs out I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. (I've done this and similar moves many times before through my 20s, while exercising)
Bar kip example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRPFWdelsDY
I couldn't stop slouching and crunching my abdomen. Stretching backwards and straightening my posture was very discomforting. The severe pain subsided in a day but in the following months I couldn't stretch my stomach and had to sleep on my back with pillows under my knees to keep a flexed/crunched posture. Sleeping on the side was discomforting, because the stomach would hang to the side, bringing up the pain.
In 3 months, I felt better. However, there were always some flare-ups of pain.
Pain Description: The pain always feels along "horizontal lines", on 1-3 locations at a time, around the belly button level, below, or above it, with varying intensity of pain. Through my personal touch/observation, these horizontal lines of pain are always along tendinous inscriptions of the ab structures. Sometimes I feel lower 1 or two lines in pain. Other times it’s one of the upper line(s).
Tendinous inscriptions image: https://test.usabcd.org/courses/lk-native-ld2-basic-ugra/lessons/lknative-rectus-sheath-block/topic/3-anatomy-the-rectus-abdominis-muscle/
Causes of Pain from Movement: Pain flare-ups happen when moving heavy objects rapidly (without prior prep), pulling something heavy from ground, rapidly stretching the abdominal area, or a day after the occasional exercise. Jumping and landing on ground from 1 ft. or above can make me brace my abdomen, leading to some pain as well. Twisting my torso side to side could also make pain worse, stretching one side of the abdomen, especially if twisting in my full range. Slight turns are okay.
Causes of Pain from Food: Flare-ups also happen immediately after eating specific foods, like sunflower seeds, nutty bars, and when a bit bloated from eating. Trigger of this pain doesn't need to be a substantial amount of food either. Sometimes just a bite or two gets the sensation going.
Pain Relief: Often immediately after having bowel movement there is some pain relief. If pain is not too intense, and more of a discomfort, bowel movement can sometimes end the discomfort
Medical History and Pain Progress Timeline

• September 2022, within a week of the injury, ruled out hernia at a clinic.
  
• 3+ months of slow pain relief, with flare ups. Mostly sedentary life and very little physical activity.
  
• Late December 2022 through early February 2023: Doctors visit, abdominal ultrasound, and physical exam. No specific conclusions on either physical injury or gastric issues. No diagnosis.
  
• February to June 2023:
  

Slow increase in physical activity and exercise. Some running. With a good warm up, stretching the abdominal area isn't too painful (though I did not stretch the area at this time)
Rare ab exercises can feel discomforting, and some pain returns the day after.
Jumping high or landing from high jumps/drops can bring about the pain or worsen it.
Bloated stomach, or consumption of some foods (as mentioned above) can feel discomforting or even painful along 1 or more " horizontal lines". Bowel movement often relieves discomfort and even pain.

• July 1st, 2023, MRI of abdomen. No diagnosis or findings. Quote from the report: "IMPRESSION: Normal noncontrast MRI of the abdomen. There is no abnormality to explain the patient's pain."
  
• August 2023, start of physical therapy. Therapist's hypothesis - myofascial layer causes pain. Prescribed exercises to do at home with light stretch and some balance/strengthening of abdomen.
  
• August 2023, start of journaling of my pain in 1-10 scale on daily basis, as I do the PT.
  
• September 26, 2023, endoscopy was done, no notable results. Results were normal
  
• August 2023 - March 2024, pain fluctuates with steady 2/10 (pain discomfort) with multiple flare ups of pain, one reaching up to 5/10 and lasting and others staying at 3/10 or higher for 2-3 days in a row.
  
• April 2024, colonoscopy revealed no remarkable results. 1 week post colonoscopy pain levels increased to an all time high or close to it (5-6/10). Mostly pain along tendinous intersections, in 3 locations, with some lower right and left abdomen pains, burning sensation around or above bladder, and other discomforts. No issues with bowel movements or peeing.
  

Post colonoscopy I did not return to physical activities and PT as the pain lingers on and is too consistent and limiting to do much in terms of consistent exercise.
Self-medication: On a few occasions, I tried to apply heat or cold, which didn’t help with pain much. But the cold helped numb things down. Heat helped to warm the abdomen and make some movements easier for a short time.
Rare/inconsistent instances of ibuprofen use (around 400-600 mg). Can't remember how effective pain relief is.
Massage/poking: Generally, I do it when I feel pain or discomfort along the horizontal lines. Massage, poking, deep massage does NOT reduce the pain for me. Sometimes even makes me feel the pain more. But mentally feels good to do and feel out where I feel it.
Present day condition (May 2024)
Some pain flare-ups with physical activities, infrequent feeling of discomfort after food (for both, often relieved through bowel movement).
Concern: While pain level has overall gone down since 1.5 years ago, I am not certain what I should and should not do, given there is no diagnosis or clear understanding of cause of pain. The occasional pain increases made me curious if someone had an experience with pain like this. Doctor's appointment all have lead to little to no improvement.
Additionally, I sense a lot of dismissiveness in all the doctors and specialist for this entire timeline described above, where with no results to show on diagnostic tests, I am sent home to "rest" without any hypothesis or brainstorming, and telling me "come back if pain gets worse". It gets worse and I run another round of catching doctors for, what feels like, waste of time with more tests, same questions and same story being told over and over to each new referred specialist I see.
Note: I asked the doctors on multiple occasions to review the MRI images or query a radiologist to do so as there are 100s of frames. I genuinely don't believe that initial look at it was done properly, with only 1 page report showing "unremarkable" for all metrics they looked at. I don't sense that my pain patterns (which I described extensively to every doctor and the radiologist) were accounted for when looking through any of the tests done.
Thanks in advance for any feedback!!!
[Previously posted on with no luck so far.]

I don't want to "be" anymore. I want to just not exist anymore. I have more than enough life insurance to cover paying off the house and then some. And if in 10 years my Doge Coin/GME stocks will hopefully make the family I leave behind rich. I just want to step outside my home and get hit by lightning, or a drunk driver jumps the curb and nails me. As long as it's not drowning, I'm on board. I held up my mettle water canister into the air today for a sold 2 minutes in a thunderstorm. The idea just came to me while walking to my front door. I actually felt real joy for like 30 seconds or so. But nothing happened. I probably looked like a complete idiot standing outside with a bright jug pointed to the sky. I'm not doing well. The nightmares keep happening more often lately. Before it was like, 3 dreams a year. Now my wife tells me I scream in my sleep if I don't take my sleep aids. I just want existence to stop. I've made sure my family will be taken care of. And honestly, I'm not easy to live with. Try explaining to your child that everything is fine and that their father screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night, is perfectly normal. Please no responses, I just don't want anymore. I won't do anything, I'm too much of a coward.
Just read the rules and I have to request help. Help for what? Im not gonna do anything about this. I'm gonna just keep existing like everyone else does. So I guess I have to say the words, does anyone have advise?

I (F19), was an only child growing up. I grew up in a household with my mum, dad and grandma. Growing up, I’ve been very close with my dad and grandma. My dad would take me to all of these activities and events such as drag racing and roll racing events, I loved them so much growing up that it became a tradition to go every year. We still go to these events by the way.
My mother however, is the complete opposite. Growing up whenever I would ask her if we could go somewhere or play with my toys together, she would always tell me “later” and walk into her room, lay on her bed and proceed to do nothing. When “later” came I would walk into her room and ask her again, to which her response would be she’s too tired. This would continue to happen my whole childhood. In turn, I would end up playing by myself for the majority of my childhood.
My mother would also constantly try and have my father yell at me or get mad at me growing up. When I was little, If I moved something out of place and drop something on accident (nothing valuable or can be easily shattered), she would always march up the hallway to the back door, slam it and complain about me, till my dad would come in and tell me off. This would happen so many times a day, every day. I wish it was an exaggeration but it is not. It only got worse the older I got as I was entering high school. Everybody knows high school is draining and can leave you exhausted after a long day. When I would come home after a long day at school, I would tell my mum that I was tired and just felt like being left alone for a while, she would get mad at me and continue to do her stomp up the hallway and complain about me to my dad. Too many times. Every day. Safe to say my dad got sick of it after many years.
My mother also HATED my grandmother. (My dads mother). My mother moved into to live with my dad and my grandma about 2 years before I was born. I want to mention, that the house we live in is my grandmas house. Over the years my mother came to hate my grandma for no apparent reason whatsoever. She would break my grandmas items, from dishes or cutlery to ornaments and special memorabilia that she had bought travelling overseas. TW for this next sentence. My mum would also kick my grandmas dog. He is a small Moodle and goes by the name Kobi. He’s still alive and okay btw. My mother also couldn’t stand being in the same room as my grandma, couldn’t use the same cutlery or machines as my grandma. Even got to the point where my mum wouldn’t even eat my grandmas food anymore and my mother would just start to cook her own food. My mother and my grandma are opposite chefs I might mention. My grandma is so talented at cooking and can make the most delicious dishes, my mother on the other hand… could not cook even if her life depended on it. It got to a point where her cooking was so inedible that I wouldn’t eat for a couple days straight. This happened a lot.
I could talk about a lot more but it would be too much to include. Let’s just say mummy issues. Let’s move on to more recent times and I’ll keep it short and sweet.
My mother moved out last August after cheating on my dad since I was a kid. There was an argument and I asked her why she would do that to the father of her child and her answer was that it didn’t even matter and it was a long time ago. I should probably also mention that my mother and father are both deaf and my mother has a learning disability. I’ve tried over the years to sympathise with her and understand her behaviour however every part of me reminded myself that you can have a disability and be a kind person and a good mother, and that it’s not an excuse, which is what my mothers family like to think. I’ve tried to tell them about my mothers behaviour before as it was getting so out of hand I was worried for my grandmas health. And like I said, they ignored everything I told them and blamed it on her disability. After that, I gave up trying to tell them the type of person she was.
Now to this week and the reason I’m making this post. My father sent me a message asking me to send my mother a happy Mother’s Day text. I, however, have no interest of doing so. About an hour ago I received a call from my Aunty (mothers sister) why I had not said happy Mother’s Day to my mum and how she was crying and was so upset. She told me that I need to be respectful and show her the “love that she showed me growing up” and that my mother was an amazing person. I didn’t know what to say to her because all I wanted to tell her was the truth and that my mother is the complete opposite however it’s a waste of my breath. Plus not to mention, their father (my pa) is very sick and doesn’t have long so I guess it doesn’t help. I personally think I have every right to choose whether or not I say happy Mother’s Day to her or not, focusing on the not because of her lack of affection and attention growing up but anyway, AITA for not telling my mother happy Mother’s Day.

I really don’t know why I’m writing this. Part of me wants to be told I’m overreacting I guess
My childhood and 20s were rough, but I have managed to claw my way to some kind of normal life. After burning out and getting fired from a hospitality job, I decided to make a career change, take a 2 years off and pursue my masters - finishing at the height of Covid.
I did really well in my program, enjoyed the research, and was encouraged to continue for a doctorate thru the same school that was only supposed to add an extra 2 years to my studies. I was struggling to find a job and dealing with some family issues back home so I thought it was a great idea. I figured I would try to find a full time job in my field in the meantime and could always finish my doctorate later in life if needed. The summer before I started, I started dating my bf at this time.
Unfortunately, due to some setbacks with my school (not on my part ) things are taking longer than expected to finish the program. I’m okay with this, despite everything, I enjoy my work and feel like I’m finally thriving in life. At the beginning of my program I was working a somewhat full time job unrelated to my field and found it difficult to manage everything. I decided instead to pursue internships that allowed for flexibility in my studying, would bring in some finances as needed while helping me gain needed experience in the field. I have been fully transparent with him about everything and he has repeatedly said he was supportive of my decisions. Since then, I have been surviving financially on a combo of student loans (taking out the bare minimum required to pay for school + little more to help cover emergencies), internship paychecks, and a meager stipend (good for 2 years and is enough to cover my portion of rent).
My boyfriend however, finds himself constantly getting worked up every so often over how my life is going. We find ourselves having the same argument every few weeks and I’m exhausted trying to navigate things with him. He feels that my school is stringing me along for whatever reason and they’ll only push my expected graduation further down the road. (He’s right that they are annoying at times but things like my advisor’s spouse suddenly dying can’t be helped). We are both in our early 30s but he seems to feel that I am wasting my time doing my studies and internships. I just completed an internship at a very prestigious organization and returned to finish up what I hope will be the last year of my doctorate. At the same time I started this internship, I received another internship offer at another prestigious organization that was due to start when the first one ended. However, I’m unable to start until they finish a working clearance for me that was delayed due to a mix up in my paper work. The offer is still on the table and they are flexible with my start date once I receive my clearance. I took this as a sign to focus on school and try to get as much done as possible before this new internship starts and hopefully be on my way to graduation and a new job by the end of the year.
In the meantime, I’ve been applying for full time positions, acting as if this internship won’t work out, but I’ve been picky in the positions I’m applying to for my own sanity and because this internship is literally my dream position and I’m remaining optimistic that things will fall into place and they’ll keep me on. I’m still being realistic and planning for every possible outcome!
My boyfriend finds himself constantly getting worked up over this. He works a well paying full time job and despite me not making as much as him, we have been able to enjoy ourselves pretty well over the two years or so vacation and gift wise. We split everything 50/50, with myself (I feel) contributing more to household expenses because I am home more and want to ensure things are nice and well taken care of. I’ve never complained because I really don’t care, in the end, I’m able to save money because we live together and I would be spending the same amount on everything even if I was single. I’m also extremely cautious with my finances and make sure to budget well so that I can afford all my necessities/bills, add some money to my savings, and have a little extra left over to enjoy life when I can. I have only mentioned once how I wish we could contribute proportionally based on our “incomes” or at least he would be willing to accommodate when we go out to eat or whatever. (he really enjoys food and will try everything on the menu. I mentioned it’s difficult for me to pay sometimes because I don’t always budget that high for restaurant outings.) This of course started a huge argument and him nearly accusing me of asking him to pay entirely for my expenses at all times… I felt like I was losing my mind.
I understand it’s frustrating for him to be living a little bit less well off than he expects. He wants a bigger apartment and to start a family. I tell him I’m not holding him back from having these things. Im not holding him hostage, my life will not fall apart if we break up. It will be difficult of course but I can always return back to my family until I get back on my feet. I have told him I’m more than willing to find a part time job if it makes him feel better, but he has repeatedly told me I need to focus on my career. But! For whatever reason, he doesn’t see internships as work… which is confusing and! He is adamant that he won’t support me unless we’re married, but he feels he can’t marry me until I’m more “stable”. That’s fine with me, I understand from his perspective he’s got some family issues and finds himself supporting his mom in her older age. I honestly think he has a fear I’ll end up like his mother.
I love him deeply but this is my life right now and it’s not like I don’t want these things too. I do, I think about them daily and it pushes me to keep working even when things feel impossible. I told him us living together was great because I’m able to save money and get a head start on life before my new career takes off. But he feels like I’m not taking life seriously and that one day I’m just gonna decide to drop out and either (a) do nothing with my life and expect him to pay for everything or (b) change my mind about my career “again” and keep going to school. It almost feels like he doesn’t believe I’m in school for good reason. I could NEVER bring myself to do either of those things, I’ve struggled enough and I’ve watched women in my family rely on men and I REFUSE to let that happen to me. In his culture it’s unheard of to change your career field and it’s even weirder that someone in their 30s is doing internships. Pursuing a PhD is also weird to him because in his field it’s only if you want to become a professor, in my field, academia is an option but also a lot of jobs often require a PhD! For the most part it’s not crazy for people in my field to have done multiple internships before their first job.
Explaining this every month is tiring and our argument today I found myself speechless for the first time. I’m so done fighting with him about this and I want to leave but I just don’t want to feel like I’m overreacting in what is probably just a season in our relationship. I also feel it’s unfair that I would have to uproot my entire life if we were to break up. He is incredibly loving and supportive otherwise. During our arguments it’s like he comes back to his senses halfway thru and suddenly realizes he was being unfair and we make up and go back to normal. It’s just these random bouts were he gets too in his head and starts overthinking and it’s hard to bring him back to where we were before in that moment.
I feel like I’m going crazy and talking to a brick wall when we get into our arguments. And now that I’ve typed everything out I know I probably sound crazy. If I were a friend of mine I would’ve told me to dump him a long time ago.

So this is likely to be a pretty long post but I will try to make it as short as I can I just feel that there is a lot of things that provide context for this so first off I am a 31 yr old female. When I was young about 10 years old, I started to go through puberty. Pretty young yes, but I had yet to start my cycle. I just started having wider hips and developing a bosom and also some attitude I started having some mood swings all perfectly normal. Right. wrong. My mom did not like that I was having mood swings and basically not following her every command so she started me on something for hormones, a natural herb that was supposed to help with the mood swings. Now I think that it caused problems I started my cycle when I was 13 and after a year I was told that I most likely would not be able to have kids that if I did I would have to go through long treatments in order to do so. I have PCOS I would have sometimes two or three cycles a year and some other not so great symptoms Now when I was younger it didn't really hit me that this would affect my life. I always thought I'd be a mom has always wanted to be a mom and I just thought you know this doesn't matter. It'll still happen. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend but I was also a virgin. I didn't really know anything about anything per say He was older and definitely knew what he was doing. Being a virgin and growing up in a Mormon l conservative home. The only thing I'd been told about relationships in the bedroom was and I quote "it hurts" so I had no idea about condoms or anything like that. I had just moved out of the house so I was still trying to learn all this. Needless to say I ended up pregnant. I made it 9 weeks before I miscarried due to the stress of finding out my boyfriend was cheating on me and I was the side piece coming from a conservative Mormon home that was really stressful for me and also because my mom was very conservative and so was my family. I didn't really tell anyone. I just kind of dealt with it on my own and so after that I kind of fell off the deep end and I started drinking and partying about 4 years later when I was 23. I met someone new but this time I knew better. I was careful to always use contraceptives and I figured if they failed I most likely wouldn't get pregnant anyways because I was continuously being told by doctors that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids well I got pregnant again. I made it 11 weeks before I miscarried again this time however, I told my mom she was the only one I told and I've never told anyone since because she didn't believe me. she said even if that was true that the baby was better off and at least the baby would be perfect in heaven. after that I really went off The deep end I started drinking smoking partying some recreational drug use. Basically anything to numb the pain and this time I didn't even tell the boyfriend and he ended up moving Not long after that Anyways. I really went down a rabbit hole and if it weren't for my brother helping pull me out of it and getting me a job out of state away from all the people that I knew pretty much except for him. He had a job there too. I probably would have continued down that path but when I moved I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I stopped all the partying everything and really just kind of did some soul searching on what I wanted and who I wanted to be and what my life would be like I was 25 when I moved back and I was doing a lot better than. I got a job. I was saving up I got my new car and I'd moved in with my parents to help them with some issues they were having. My dad had cancer and my mom has had a slew of health problems so I have yet to move out since I basically helped take care of everything around the house and make sure everything's the way it needs to be When I was 29 I met another guy we dated for a couple months and I ended up pregnant now when I had moved a couple things had happened. I think the change in lifestyle and also the fact that it could have been a different city. It could have been the change in elevation. Whatever else, but I started having regular consistent cycles and I stopped having a lot of the issues that I've been having with my hormones. But I still thought that I would not be able to have a kid at that point though. But I found out when I was just over 4 weeks and because of my past miscarriages I went to the doctor as soon as I could to make sure everything was okay and he monitored me very closely. Now because of my fabulous doctor I was able to deliver a healthy baby girl and I love her more than life itself. But I seem to have a bad choice in men because her "father" wanted nothing to do with her and it broke my heart. I have tried my best to do whatever I can to make my daughter happy and healthy and have a great life but I have still yet to meet anyone that could be any sort of father figure for her. Now on to my cousin we have never gotten along for whatever reason, ever since I was young she would alienate me in any way she could. I never knew why. She's actually only a little bit older than I am by, like not even a full year and my other cousins that were right around my age. All kind of went with her and alienated me too. So I ended up playing a lot of the time with all the younger kids by which I'm talking about 4 to 5 years younger than me and when you're young. And you don't really know why you're being treated that way it can leave a lasting impression. I have never been close with her and I don't think I ever will be. I don't wish her any. Ill will but I don't like her either not long ago she found out she was pregnant and she's had fertility issues as well it ended her first marriage but not only did she find someone who loves her but also loves their baby and wants their baby and that created some jealousy in me. I'm not going to lie. I was very angry that she was still doing all the things that I had given up partying and such and she still was able to find someone. And on top of that have a baby now. A few days ago she went into pre-term labor. She is just over 25 weeks and they've been struggling to keep the baby inside for the last couple days. Tomorrow they're going to deliver the baby at 26 weeks now I hope every thing turns out well cause I wouldn't wish the pain of loosing a child on anyone but I can't help but feel a little angry because everyone in our family is coming out of the wood work to help her and comfort her and be there for her and they are showing her so much love and support. And her boyfriend is right there with her and is supporting her and I just feel so angry and hurt because I never had that support. I mean no one really knew about any of my miscarriages and the one person I trusted didn't even believe me. And my mom now is bending over backwards to try and be as helpful as she can and I think that's what makes me the maddest no I don't hate my cousin. I don't wish her any ill will. I hope that everything goes well with her baby and her boyfriend and that everything turns out great but I can't seem to make myself bend over backwards for her either and jump at every piece of information that is being given. In fact, I wish I didn't even hear it at all because every time I do it just digs that knife deeper and deeper and I don't know how to deal with it. All I know is I am so angry at my family so aita for being angry at my cousin?