Hey Y’all!
I’m a high schooler right now working in emergency management and disaster relief operations.
I’m looking to get into international disaster relief, especially in conflicts. I also think counterterrorism is interesting.
I was wondering if there are any recommendations for good universities with great undergrad programs in international security and humanitarian operations? This would probably have to be an interdisciplinary degree, maybe label it “Humanitarian Operations”.
This is very niche and most of this stuff is mostly only available for grad school, but there has to be a place where they would let me do grad school stuff as an undergraduate in this field. I would also be going premed (I wanna do Disaster Medicine).
Because it’s niche, I’m not opposed to having a bachelors in Political Science, but I wanna go somewhere where I can best study International Security and Humanitarian Operations, preferably with NGO’s/NPO’s (somewhere with connections to MSF or USAID). Somewhere with concentration in that stuff would also be great. I don’t want a degree in Emergency Management.
Here’s my list right now:

• American University (would prob be interdisciplinary degree)
  
• Tufts University (because of Fletcher, but idk if they let undergrads do their international security and humanitarian assistance programs)
  
• James Madison University (International Affairs?)
  
• University of Virginia (everything for this is grad school tho, so probably interdisciplinary degree?)
  
• William and Mary (maybe their B.A in Government?)
  
• Rice University (it’s mostly grad school stuff tho, amazing EMS program tho)
  
• UNC Chapel Hill (Peace, War, and Defense Program)
  
• Washington and Lee University (probably interdisciplinary degree)
  
• Georgetown University (but none of their emergency management, bioterrorism, or general counterterrorism programs are available to undergrads, plus it costs $93k a year)
  

Any others? I’m open to suggestions!
Would a small Liberal Arts College like Amherst be good for this? I’m just looking at major universities because I would prefer those, but I’m open to small colleges as well, just haven’t found much there with this stuff.
Also, I asked ChatGPT and it didn’t help much.
Thanks in Advance!
For the Mods: I personally think this falls under political science, but I’m no expert in it so I have a limited opinion on it. I hope this post is allowed. I don’t have many other places to ask this and I thought this subreddit would be best.

We've got an appointment next week and will hopefully get her some allergy meds, or anything else she needs, to clear this up with the big guns. But she's been itchy and overgrooming for a few days, possibly just anxious too ever since we moved last month. She does seem to like the new place, but it's still a big change from our old house. We're still in the same town though so it doesn't seem to be like a major reaction to a climate difference or anything. Could also be seasonal/springtime allergies, but she hasn't had this problem in past years.
As of today she's got two spots on the back of her neck that are slightly bleeding, not actively running blood at all but she's scabbing herself up for sure. Been trying to just comfort her and gently discourage all the scratching and licking, but there's just no way I can get her into the vet, or any vet, sooner than a week from tomorrow. I get paid in a few days, so I took the soonest appointment they had available.
I know places like Chewy have all kinds of topical remedies but I'm really hesitant about medicinal stuff without talking to the vet first. Hoping for something more on the...playing it safe side? I read coconut oil might help soothe ichy skin and be calming, so I may try and buy some of that today. But any other safe remedies or techniques that aren't risky without a prescription, just to get her some relief and hopefully try to prevent these booboos getting worse would be deeply appreciated. Here's the specs and more info for context, link to a photo at the end (not super gorey or anything, but a wound pic nonetheless).

• Feline
• Age: 4+ years
• Female, spayed 2+ years ago
• Calico (tortie and ragdoll mix)
• Body weight: about 8lbs, she's honestly a little cubby for her structure, we're working on it but she's extremely stubbon about food and will only eat the cheap junk kibble. Tips on this would be appreciated also because I'm sure it doesn't help anything, but she absolutely will not touch any wet food of any kind, she'll eat around it or abandon her bowl and cry. If I mix in healthier dry food she also somehow eats around it. She doesn't even like any form of human food, fresh/cooked fish, or even cat treats. We've been playing this game her whole life, and the highest quality I've gotten her to eat is Purina. She will straight up hunger strike. Ideas?
• Clinical signs: Overgrooming, scratching, licking, nail biting
• Duration: Worsening over the past 2-3 weeks, only more severely in the past several days, small wounds showed up today. No dandruff or parasites that I can tell. She is dewormed regularly.
• Your general location: Southern USA
• History: Other than the food thing and her recent scratching/overgrooming, not much. She's always been a sweet good baby, likes to whine for attention and gets the zoomies sometimes but she's overall a great cat, affectionate, 50/50 independent and demanding, like the best of em. She's not cool with baths though, so the oatmeal thing sounds like a last resort to me, she'd be piiissed. I'd do it if we had to, just... cautiously, and probably walk away with a few scars of my own. But she's still the best. My partner is allergic to her and they're her favorite person ever, so they're really close regardless. We used to have dogs but both passed away in recent years so she's the only pet in the house. She's strictly an indoor cat, 0 wilderness survival skills to speak of. She's had fleas a couple times before but we always kicked them easily, and I worried that might be the case but so far no sign of fleas whatsoever.
• Additional, possibly unneccesary history but... : Mom's the tortie, and has MUCH worse overgrooming/scabby tendencies, medicated for allergies but it's hit-or-miss if her meds work. This is the first time my girl has had this problem. Also her dad was most likely a stray, we think a ragdoll, I've had them before and he was very much textbook ragdoll, and my cat has roughly half that personality type. She was conceived during her mom's one and only 24 hour escape. The ragdoll fella hung around for a while afterwards, mom started getting fat, my former roommates and I put the pieces together...
• Don't have any vet info or test results yet, but will update next week after we see them! For now, a picture of the couple of bad spots on the back of her neck

Thank you for any tips!

26M here. I started drinking when I was 19 and have rarely had a sober night. I feel a lot of regret and sadness for how I've treated my body. I've spent most of my adult life drinking every night. I wasn't drinking a 5th a day or anything but I would regularly down 6 to 10 beers a night sometimes more on the weekends. Never had more than a month sober in my 20s. It's crazy to think about.
Anyways, as with most people, the juice became not worth the sqeeze. It all started one hungover morning after breakfast with some insane heart palpitations and tachycardia. I rushed to the emergency room and everything seemed normal. Well, my blood pressure was 160/100 but you know. I had all types of tests done and my heart is perfectly healthy. Holter monitor, ultrasound, you name it. Everything was fine. Yet I was still overtaken with cardiophobia and anxiety. After a while of going back and forth and finally convincing myself I wasn't dying when my heart was racing after a night of drinking, I realized that alcohol had to go.
After spending most of my 20s drinking every night I knew this wasn't gonna be easy but I'd finally had enough! After completing a successful taper plan of 9, 6, 3, 1, I had my last beer 6 days ago. Here's a short timeline of how it went for me.
Day 1. Slept just OK. Fuzzy feeling in head, kinda annoying. Resting heart rate is a little elevated (90) but pretty ok. Slightly achy and kinda anxious.
Day 2. AWFUL nights sleep. Tossed and turned the entire night. Basically didn't sleep except for a couple hours in the early morning. I feel ok so far other than exhausted and sore. Later that night had fuzzy feeling in head again.
Day 3. Feeling the best I've felt so far. Rough night of sleep, heart rate is still slightly elevated but so much better than when I was drinking. Sparkling water has been by best friend. I went to a family gathering and everyone was drinking so that's was a little tough but I managed.
Day 4. Another tough night sleeping but the day has been great so far. Mild anxiety.
Day 5. Thus was the most stressful day of all. Not becuase of any withdrawal symptoms but becuase it was an extremely stressful day. My two year old son had a stroke and we took him to the hospital, he can't move his body very well and he can't eat. (he's had a lot of medical issues in the past) The sleep was pretty bad but probably becuase I'm sleeping on a shitty hospital pullout couch.
Day. 6 Still in the hospital but I have no symptoms other than a slight craving but I know that if I give in it will make things so much worse.
Day 7. Has been mostly normal. It takes me a while to fall asleep but once I am i feel actually refreshed in the morning.
So here I am. My heart rate is still elevated but I think it'll come down over the next few weeks and maybe I can leave this whole nightmare behind me and focus on what really matters. Blood pressure is still elevated too but it's down to about 130/85 so that's not awful. This is not medical advice. This is just my experience.
I'm done letting this poison run my life. Fuck that.

I (32f) don’t understand why men just feel like they must know better than I, a lowly female. I went to the doctor to deal with an issue. I knew what the problem was since I had to stop taking a med due to dental surgery and now needed to have new drugs to ‘catch up’ and then go back to normal. However I got stuck seeing a male doctor (70+) as opposed to one of my normal female doctors and it was the worst experience. Nurses went through everything with me and had no issues with what I needed and were going to handle it until this guy steps in because he is the doctor. He proceeds to do an entire exam and then tell me that what I want was going to be a bad route. He wanted to me to do an entire procedure because if I was his daughter I’d be doing that. Told me that my way was going to be painful and I’d be home all weekend long completely bedridden. Said procedure was easy and they just put you to sleep handle what is needed and then you go home with your caretaker. Few issues, 1. I was by myself and had no one who I could call to be able to come meet me and drive me home after nor would I want to inconvenience someone with that when I DONT NEED A PROCEDURE and 2. I am terrified of any type of procedure where you are knocked out. I said no, I want to go with my original plan of extra dose of meds here and then be on my way, I had dealt with it before and I could deal with the pain. This doctor laughed at me and said ‘ok we will see if you are saying that when I see you back here in 2 weeks.’ This man had no idea of the medical issues I’ve dealt with nor the trauma I endured the last 2 years of my life. Achy joints weren’t going to kill me. He did finally just give me what I needed but of course explained the instructions for how to take a pill every 4 hours to me 3x. I did spend my Saturday night in bed with some heating pads but honestly the ‘rona shots gave me worse side effects. It just really annoyed me that this man tried to get me to not do what I wanted to do, what I had done in the past when I had issues like this, because he knows the pain a female can handle and this was going to be just too much for little ol me. If it was just to be like, listen what you want is fine but as a medical professional I just want to let you know that I wouldn’t recommend this because a b and c but it’s your choice, I’d have no problem. But the audacity of this 80+ year old man acting like he was my father and knew best for me really pissed me off.
Just a note: obviously I’m very vague with what my medical issue was. To give an example of what I’m trying to explain but not using my exact condition, imagine you take a medication to help with joint pain, you had to stop taking it for a few weeks because it would interact with a drug from dental surgery. You go to doctor to ask for a cortisone shot to alleviate the pain as you start taking the meds again to be normal. He decides no, the effects from the shot are not worth it and would rather knock you out to go in and clean around the cartilage in the joint to fix it. Despite you have gotten the shot before and are aware of the side effects and know you can handle them.

In case of an intense urge to watch porn, please follow the instructions provided in this manual to stop escalation.
https://preview.redd.it/cv6aynvs3h0d1.png?width=70&format=png&auto=webp&s=eba5789fc1984066ee3af3c2a007b5da4f1835a1
Think!
When we feel triggered, often we react to it on autopilot.
I don’t know how many times I’ve reached for my phone or typed a certain website on my laptop as if in a trance, knowingly unaware of my own actions, long enough for the porn to show up on my screen and swallow me whole.
That’s why the first step of this plan is to give yourself time to think.
Find that moment of mental clarity, and use it to complete the rest of these steps.
https://preview.redd.it/08m48lqx3h0d1.png?width=158&format=png&auto=webp&s=5cc6d8b7a8112f69f2c24bb6808a7f3a97aa1d9a
Put away your devices.
Keep them out of sight or, even better, remove yourself from the room altogether.
I’d be crazy if I tried to quit smoking while carrying a pack of cigarettes in my pocket... yet that’s exactly what we have to deal with as recovering porn addicts. And while most of us just can’t give up our phones and laptops completely, if there’s a situation where we have to get away without them it’s definitely this one.
You first took some time to think. Now give yourself some space too.
https://preview.redd.it/ra08hrza4h0d1.png?width=246&format=png&auto=webp&s=248702407215be95f59c33c236e0287ee603ba14
Next, use that time and space to take a mental break.
We should all have an activity that we can do easily, under any circumstances, to get us out of that relapsing mindset.
My personal favorite is meditation. Anywhere I can watch porn I can meditate, and even just a few minutes of meditation can snap me back to reality.
Others prefer to take a cold shower, or to drop to the floor and crank out some pushups.
Pick your medicine, whatever it is — as long as it’s not worse than the disease, it’ll work just fine.
https://preview.redd.it/gawz9mkc4h0d1.png?width=158&format=png&auto=webp&s=563b3d30182fd78a2b31ed2792c7284b1ae28d6d
Sometimes that first resort is not enough, so you need to have a plan B.
Find an activity that you know will for sure put an end to the possibility of a relapse.
I’m talking about things like going out for a long walk, calling a friend to hang out, or hitting the gym.
These are things that might not always be available to you at the moment but, if they are, they’re guaranteed to work.
Use them if you have to.
https://preview.redd.it/zvyhf7bj4h0d1.png?width=70&format=png&auto=webp&s=3782fbfa069f5fa5779fd982f1e8abedfac30972
Once the worst of the storm is past you, it’s time to do some digging.
This is when the real work starts.
Your job is to figure out exactly why you wanted to watch porn in the first place. Were you just horny, or was it something else?
Sometimes I’d be stressed out, and desperate for an excuse to procrastinate. Others I’d be particularly sad, and would see in porn a perfect way to numb that feeling.
Identify what was at the heart of your craving for porn.
For us addicts, there’s always something there, hiding in plain sight.
https://preview.redd.it/mffneh2m4h0d1.png?width=246&format=png&auto=webp&s=d83fc895d26241d1bd58571e6d8bafe5e55aa8b8
Did you find your why? Great! Then address it.
If you’re avoiding something that you have to do, suck it up and do it. If you’re horny and sex isn’t an option, you can always just masturbate without porn. And if you truly need a distraction, there are plenty of healthy alternatives to choose from: I usually watch a movie or play some video games, but you can enjoy whatever other hobby you may have.
After you’re done, you’ll realize how that overwhelming desire to watch porn has magically disappeared.
https://preview.redd.it/bijllbwn4h0d1.png?width=70&format=png&auto=webp&s=d9e0560443fddbfff44b5d3f795906adcd1296e9
Celebrate!
You’re in the clear. Crisis resolved. You made it!
Enjoy that feeling.
You could have relapsed, but you didn’t, and your recovery process and your mental health are that much better because of it.
Find a way to reward yourself! It’ll help create a positive association that motivates you to take these good steps again in the future.
https://preview.redd.it/u9jszrvp4h0d1.png?width=70&format=png&auto=webp&s=6154bc2b8398b605096bf1a64a850aa75bad764a
The emergency is finally over, but you’re not!
Now that you’ve come through it, take some time to reflect on what happened.
Was there something specific that triggered you? What actions could you have taken before this turned into an emergency? How can you do better in the future?
I like to retrace my steps one by one, paying attention not only to the things that I did and the situations I put myself in, but also to the way that I was feeling through it all.
Every potential relapse is a golden opportunity to learn something new about yourself and your addiction.
https://preview.redd.it/n2wzi6it4h0d1.png?width=70&format=png&auto=webp&s=d10caec0881d3edcc1089c960f59bca692807cd0
Repeat.
Recovering from porn addiction is a constant learning process.
Urges will come: sometimes you’ll beat them, sometimes you won’t.
I’ve personally lost track of how many times I relapsed during my years of recovery. You probably will too, and that’s ok. What matters is how you deal with them.
Apply yourself to following these steps no matter what, as best you can, time and time again. Incorporate everything new that you learn into your process.
Eventually you’ll see improvements, and this whole thing will become easier and easier.
Remember that your purpose isn’t to fight off all the urges that come your way — the ultimate goal is to not have them at all.

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
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10. Study Help Apps: I have over 15+ paid subscriptions to a wide range of study help apps, software, websites, and programs to help me solve exam & homework questions faster and more efficiently. Some of these resources include: Brainly, Chegg, CourseHero, Quizlet, SymboLab & WolframAlpha.
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HOW I CALCULATE FINAL RATES:

• Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
• Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete, and whether there is required multi factor authentication for logging in like Duo Push or text passcode.
• Essays Papers Discussion Posts: Final rates for writing tasks depend on the required number of words or pages. topic of interest, type of citations, required number and type of sources & bibliography style , level of research required, and type of additional software required to complete the essay like: Excel, R, or Minitab.

ABOUT MY RATES & PAYMENT OPTIONS:

• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, native born U.S. resident status, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Completing someone else's exam, essay, or homework assignment is obviously NOT something you can just freely ask anyone to do, especially on the internet. Therefore, such help should be well-compensated. Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide. However, I may be willing to negotiate rates if necessary.
• Payment Methods: I accept PayPal (required for all Canadian students), Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, and anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice.
• Payment Plans: I offer the following payment plans for my services: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all upfront (least expensive).
• Money Back Guarantee: I guarantee the following grades for coursework completed: A+. A, A-, B+, B. and B-. However, I offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- grades, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F grades.

CURRENT RATES -- AS OF SUMMER / FALL 2022 -- SUBJECT TO CHANGE:

• Full Class Help Rates: $595 – $2495 USD
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THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, and accent. I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
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• Not Worth the Money: I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
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• Waste of Time & Energy: Communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine.
• All My Payment Apps are Still Active: If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now.

If you are unable to pass your AWS Certification Exam, get paid help from Online Helpers at Hiraedu!
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
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CONCLUSION:

• My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
• Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text, email, and call almost 24/7/365.

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If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
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First of all, these are the contact details to reach us for help any type of academic task of any subject:
MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

I ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS:

• I have no problem speaking with potential clients on the phone.
• I have an authentic suburban upper-middle-class American accent, similar to the actor: Ben Stein.
• However, be wary of so-called “tutors” who refuse to accept any phone calls or have a strict “text / email only” policy.
• These “text-only” / “email-only” tutors are usually located outside the U.S. and are afraid their foreign accent will expose their true nationality.

I WRITE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL:

• Approximately 98% of the time, I write all my texts & emails in grammatically correct U.S. English with proper punctuation and occasional typo.
• Unlike some alleged “U.S.-based tutors,” I do NOT write using broken English or grammatically incorrect texting shorthand (example: "wut u need help wit??").
• I write my ad in proper American English, the same way I always text and email people.
• I can guide students on formatting & writing term papers, essays, and discussion posts in APA MLA Chicago Harvard format.
• If the tutor you’re checking out consistently writes using egregiously horrendous grammar, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to trust them to help you do well in your class?

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

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HELP AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
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OCT 2021 UPDATE: I am currently offering discount deals for requests for assistance with completing a student's entire course for the Fall 2024 semester (14 - 20 week courses acceptable), as well as discounts for students seeking help with multiple exams and/or multiple classes for Fall 2024. My availability for the Autumn 2024 / Fall 2024 semester will likely become limited very quickly as I receive more and more academic requests. Therefore it would be very advantageous to reach out to me for academic assistance before my schedule becomes too full.
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TL;DR at bottom.
I (40m) gave my life to Christ nearly 20 years ago. I attended a storefront church which mostly comprised of the pastors family. I had recently become friends with one of his children. Looking back at that part of my life, it was akin to say- Church of John the Baptist. Things were different, but lead the way to my relationship with Christ. Call it "Church-A." Pastor here has since passed away and his children dispersed to different places.

• Things changed for me, growing spiritually and finding my gifts. Through networking I found myself visiting another church where I felt led to join, and all the pieces fell into place. While those pieces fell into place and things progressed great, I allowed sin to manifest. I was single and in my mid-20s, I stuck out like a sore thumb at this church of ~1000. Call it "Church-B" I loved it there. I worked there first as volunteer and then filing a need in one of the ministry departments. While there, I met a young lady in her early 20s, and through a series of sinful events, while engaged, we had premarital sex and she became pregnant. We married prior the baby's birth, but our connection to Church-B was strained. Some showed love, some didn't bother to hide their judgement and our pride got in-between. We moved away, later having another child and our marriage failing; rarely attending any local church, even more rarely visiting Church-B. Eventually, the marriage failed and ended in divorce.
• Fast forwarding several years: I moved back to the area, but did not return to Church-B. I visited a few places. Met someone and joined her church of about ~500. Call it "Church-C." We got married a few years later, moved away but still attend Church-C. Recently I heard someone say, a church should make you feel like you belong before you believe. Though I believe, I've never felt like I belonged. I have given Church-C; or maybe myself; about a year to grow. There's no serving opportunity. No small groups. No connections. No meaningful replenishment and teaching the Word barely scrapes the surface.
  
• Some days, yearning for biblical teaching and spiritual refreshment each week, we visited another local church, and youtube'd another local church when we couldn't leave home. The one we visited we'll call "Church-D" and one that we watch "Church-E." Both are very biblical and community-driven. Church-D is closer to where we anticipate moving at the end of the year. Church-E has a main campus closer to where we live now, and has smaller 'satellite' churches all over our area.
  
• Church-E is now shepherded by the pastor of Church-B. He and many of his staff that followed were/are very familiar with me and my ex-wife. He had an unfruitful encounter with me when the divorce was in progress. It was my fault, and many of his staff is aware of the encounter. His teaching is solid. As is pastor of Church-D.
  
• Church-C just isn't home. I haven't really found alternatives in the area where we plan to return at the end of the year. But as my wife and newborn are looking to me to lead them, as well as my first two children from my first marriage, I need to find the place that I can be the head of my household and have a church community with me. If I go to Church-E, it may be difficult to serve given the staff and senior pastor familiar with my past. I would not blame them, as trust would need to be restored and we haven't had the opportunity to build that back up.
  
• Church-D would be a fresh start. Plain and simple, but I'm not attempting to hide from my sin and the impact it made in my life. I know what the Bible says. I have Christ and His blood covers me. But I am also unsure and could use the suggestions of strangers on the internet to tell me what I haven't seen.
  

TL;DR. I need a church home for my new mixed family, but of the best two options I have right now, one is lead by the pastor who knows about the sin in my life while I was under his previous church leadership. The other church is a fresh start. Both are very sound places of worship and community.

I wanted to add my own interesting experience here for anyone on Ubuntu 22.04 running Bookstack v24.02.3 and Nginx.
The latest Bookstack v24.05 requires PHP 8.1 or higher. FYI, stock 22.04 has PHP v8.1.x, so you should be OK.
I thought - why not upgrade the Ubuntu distribution to 24.04 (latest at time of this writing) in order to get PHP 8.3 and hedge against future releases? I've been able to do Ubuntu in-place upgrades for the last one or two releases without issue. We are on hypervisors so snapshotting and attempting upgrades has very little risk.
My initial installation of Ubuntu basically stock wizard-click - not much attention to partitioning because everything is running on a SAN / virtual machine. So the /boot partition was the abysmally small 450MB or so default, and the rest of everything is on an LVM2 partition which can be easily managed in various ways.
As it turns out, you have to first upgrade to 23.x and then to 24.04 beacuse the normal release cadence doesn't get exposed until August 2024 when they release 24.04.1. The upgrade stopped short because there wasn't enough room on the /boot partition to support this process. Running apt autoremove didn't come anywhere close to solving the problem.
And thus began my hours long trail of tears attempting to expand the /boot drive. Never did I imagine how difficult this would be to do, and I sorely wish I had paid more attention to partitioning it properly in the first place, or (despite 'best practices') putting the /boot in the LVM parition.
Let's just say you'll need Kubuntu mountable .iso, and a carefully curated series of steps to do it properly. Here are my steps in general; you still need to know what you're doing, this is not a point click manual. Try at your own risk, this is just a hope it could save people time.

Assumptions

• You're on a virtual machine. If not, this is still possible, but it won't be an exact recipe.
• Ensure you have a backup.
• We're going to move the default Ubuntu installation "/boot" partition to another, larger "/boot" partition. It will remain outside of and not participating in an LVM.
• This assumes you're on a simplistic "/dev/sda" kind of configuration. If not, pay special attention to what you're editing in order to match your setup.
• You have sudo privileges.
• If you encounter an error, stop and revert or get help.

How to

This was performed on 22.04.x LTS.
Before starting, know the boot partition format (ext2, ext4, etc.) and its size. It should hopefully be easily recognizable by its very small size. You can get this by simply Do: "df -h"

• Download the latest Kubuntu release.
• Mount the Kubuntu .iso to your VM.
• Add 5GB of unallocated space to the exsting VM disk using VMWare, Nutanix, hypervisor of choice.
• Power on VM.
• Choose "Try Kubuntu" at boot prompt
• Choose "Try Kubuntu" when presented to get live boot, close welcome screen
• Start / Run "KDE Partition Manager" (no root password when prompted just continue)
• Ensure entire disk is selected on the left hand side
• You'll see a small (probably ext2) partition. Just ensure you're choosing the boot partition. Right-click "COPY".
• Choose the unallocated partition and right-click "PASTE".
  • A new screen will appear.
  • Expand the bar to the right by click-dragging it to be the maximum. This can be frustrating because the ability to drag is like a pixel wide. Just ensure it consumes the entire bar.
  • Click OK.
• At the bottom in pending operations it will state something like, "Copy parition /dev/sda1 (XXXmb) to unallocated space starting at (something) on /dev/sda and grow it to 5.00 GiB"
• Click "Apply"
• You will now have a new partition "/dev/sda3" or the like, depending on your original installation.
• Right-click the original boot partition and click "Properties".
• Uncheck the "boot" flag. Click "OK".
• Click "Apply"
• Right-click the new partition and click "Properties".
• Check the "boot" flag. Click "OK".
• Click "Apply"
• Right-click the new partition and click "Edit Mount Point". In the Path, type, "/boot" and click OK. It should spout something about overwriting "/etc/fstab", which it claims to do but doesn't... probably because it's a live CD. Click "Save Changes".
• Right-click the new parition and click "Properties".
• Screenshot the new UUID. We can get it again easily later for copy/paste.
• Close the partition manager and reboot to your normal Ubuntu installation.

It's going to use the old partition to boot, because we haven't updated the rest yet in the live system. Once the system is back up, do the following:

• Do: "df -h" you should see "/boot" still on the old partition with very little room. This is normal.
• Do: "sudo blkid"
• This should show you the UUID of the new partition as something like /dev/sda3 or the like. Copy it.
• Do "sudo nano /etc/fstab". Consider making a backup before you edit, just in case.
  • Copy the old /boot entry to another line, then comment out the old one.
  • Replace the new line UUID with the new UUID. Save changes.
• Reboot, log in.
• Now we want to tell Grub about our new boot partition.
  • Do: "sudo grub-install /dev/sda".
  • Do: "sudo update-grub".
• Reboot, log in.
• Do: "df -h". You should see your new partition (mine was /dev/sda3) as the "/boot" partition with lots of free space! If not, stop here and read up or revert.
• We're going to remove the old partition:
  • Do "sudo parted"
  • Do "print all". This will show you the partitions - get the number of the old boot partition you want to remove.
  • Do "rm 1" (or whatever number your original boot partition was).
  • Do "print all" and ensure the partition is gone.
  • Do "quit" to quit.
• Reboot and ensure all is well.

You will have a partition left that you can't do anything about, or at least that I'm aware of. Considering it's probably 500MB, it's not a worry to me. If you look at it in Kubuntu, it is unallocated space.

Hi,
I'm (31M) preparing to see my partner (P, 34NB) for the first time in a year. I'm pretty excited as I have missed them.
Currently they are on a vacation in the capital city of my country (which is considerable distance away) with Meta (M) and some friends, and will be meeting me and staying with me later on. We have had a bit of an argument over P boundary setting with me regarding meeting arrangements and this has made me felt less confident about our date week as a whole.
The situation feels a bit personal for myself because I have GAD, a disability and am neurodivergent with comorbid executive dysfunction issues. I personally think that the ED is a significant stressor for Partner, maybe even more than my mental health! Although I am not sure why this is.
I can somewhat understand why executive functioning is a sore spot and important. In general booking flights, trains, hotels etc. can be really stressful and overwhelming for me, and while a general problem, this is obviously a problem in an LDR especially. There is also P's work schedule to consider. I wish we had more autonomy but I can't and in fact right now I'm not even *allowed* to drive.
So what happened: my polycule suggested this UK meet months ago, and I was keen, but this was at the time just an idea. The plan was always to meet P, M et. al. after their break in capital city A in city B and then for the group to split so that P and I could do our own thing separately.
For various unfortunate reasons though (including awaiting an appointment for surgery and my social security review) I was first unable to commit until 2 weeks ago, when I had a hospital appointment (which was almost a 5 minute waste of time but that's another story) and then procrastinated on reserving hotels. (I was especially scared of being discharged if I rescheduled, and as a disabled person I am just scared of my government who frankly dislike and scapegoat disabled people.) I was also insecure about meeting meta and especially the friends. Finally money was both an issue and something I was pretending was not for reasons I'll explain below.
P tried to help me with hotel reservation but we were unable to complete it before they left their country last weekend. I can't remember why; I'm ashamed to say I might have just got distracted and panicked...
I have since had a busy/exhausting week engaged with advocacy service, family birthdays, therapy and a planned outing with friends--and so has P, with work before leaving and with the trip after. P suggested meeting me halfway at city C, and we could have a day trip there.
I had felt overwhelmed by the decision, so asked for help from my friends. Both my friends and partner kept emphasising that reservations as well as the kinds of long-haul trains I wanted would be 'expensive' and basically talking out of our plan B and plan C. It seems as if my not spending was the major consideration. At risk of sounding both privileged and irresponsible, which maybe I am; from a self-confidence standpoint I care less about spending a lot of money as a) proving to myself I can do these things and b) treating my partner to a nice experience after so long away from each other.
However I am also quite a people pleaser, especially towards P. Additionally deadlines absolutely cause me to panic and any form of timekeeping pressure. So if somebody shares an opinion strongly then I tend to just mirror them. This can often be a problem with Partner who has quite a lot of strong opinions and values, and also can be easily frustrated. They can also be impatient although I want to caveat that in many ways they have been *very* patient with me. It's hard to process. I keep wanting to blame myself or them. The point is that I don't like arguing with people and will let them talk me out of a situation if it means avoiding a fight. (I know this is a trauma response from my abandonment issues and seeing my parents fight while divorcing as a kid)
Partner initially said that since they were now spending time with meta they were unavailable and it was up to me to decide and plan my own arrangements. However they more or less suddenly changed their mind *the next day*, and said that they had to consider their own needs, had ditched any plans with me beyond meeting me at my home (plan D) and will meet me at my home this weekend.
I absolutely understand why P was stressed about pinning down a meet up date, place and time. Despite being completely fluent, they would be travelling in a foreign country after all. Perhaps I had been stubborn about 'wanting to see Meta and friends' while not considering or committing to the logistics of that, which I knew would exhaust me.
The problem was this flip in...willingness to grant me autonomy happened so suddenly I had no time to process it. I was on a bus home at the time. The period between "I think we should drop the holiday" and "I've bought a train directly to yours, meet me" was about 5-10 minutes of streaming IMs where I was in freeze response and unable to really engage.
Although they didn't see it (instead my friend did) I had a complete meltdown and panic attack as in my mind this was failure. I was already doing toxic comparison to Meta (who is wealthier, more relationally experienced, and has greater connections in the poly scene). My hometown is...it's a dump. I mean my local area is nice enough but...it's not a capital city or city break. I sense this is toxic but . Again it feels like personal failure, especially as I had told my family and *even my therapist and social worker* about the plans. So there is embarrassment on top of it, like disappointing P is disappointing *them* by proxy. Further I'm worrying that the fact I think P might even 'need' the entertainment of a big city is being sexist (and so misgendering). Finally I'm struggling to think of alternatives since I doubt they will want to spend the whole time in my apartment.
Nor is this the first time I have had a meltdown due to P being frustrated with how slow, tardy, indecisive I can get. In fact one happened when we went on vacation last year...because I took too long in the toilet before we left for the train. So...yeah, I know how important punctuality and efficiency is to P but I...still got caught off guard this time.
I spoke to my therapist today I'm thinking about whether it'd be good for us to have a one-off 'couples therapy' with my therapist (with P attending) and what I need to ask from my therapist. Fortunately my therapist is poly informed and practises it, which I think will help. However I don't think this is about 'poly' exactly, it seems to be about my own difficulties.
Beyond this I'm not sure what to do. Honestly I don't want to disturb P but also? This incident has caused me to check out of interest in their time with M and friends beforehand, (which I was previously following with interest) and lose some compersion. I have the distressed part of my brain telling me that I can avoid disappointing people if I just let them take control of everything and never say No or speak up. Especially with P it has seemed for a while that the best way to avoid annoying them is to just let them take the lead, because me trying to exercise my own autonomy just causes analysis paralysis and arguments leading to panic attacks/meltdowns/shame spirals...and tbqh that happens with everyone in my life which suggests it's a me problem. Generally I'm just low energy now, I'm tired and didn't sleep well or much.
I am worried I'm going to get dumped, and I am worried that this would be proof that I am not fit for at least poly dating if not dating in general. My mind takes P and M as representative of 'the ideal ENM individual' (read: high agency, extremely independent, values autonomy, effortless boundaries/assertiveness, highly efficient/no EF issues etc.) and I am projecting all of my insecurities and deficit in these faculties onto the whole damn scene.
How much of this boils down to bad communication, RSD and internalised ableism? Idk. I can tell that my mind is on a worry train now, and this whole thing is yet again as much about proving myself as capable to people as being in the moment. I worry that I won't be able to mentally solve this issue and I *have* to let go. Right now I need to clean this place up a little before the weekend. Any help appreciated

I’m currently doing a level biology, chemistry, maths and history at a level and am predicted A* A* B and B/A respectively. I’m currently going into my year 12 mocks and am thinking about dropping a subject. I originally took history as a break subject as it was something I really enjoyed and a breath of fresh air from stem but with coursework and revision I’ve found the workload to be quite a lot and feel a little behind, I’m wanting to apply for medicine and really feel as if I want to free up some time for independent research and extracurricular activities to put on my personal statement. I’m not sure if it’s the best idea to drop history to focus on obtaining the grades necessary for a medicine application and taking up an epq instead. Do you think that would be more beneficial? Is there any real benefit to doing four subjects or should I wait until my mocks to make a decision?

Hi guys. I'm hoping someone can help me. Im 25 and I feel stuck. Is there a job out there that combines my three passions?
About me: -I have a B.S in health sciences pre-med with a double minor in public health and psychology.
The criteria: These are the things i studied that I can retain info on and have knowledge of:
-Pharamcology - I love the study of drugs and their interactions. While I was in college, this was probably the only science class I was upset they only offered one course (intro to pharm). I always wanted to do research with drugs but wasn’t sure where to begin. -Public health - i freaking love public health studies. this was absolutely my favorite subject in college and took 6 courses for public health. It was so interesting and for a long time, I wanted to get into research. I thought epidemiology was what I wanted to do, and I still do. I love research and I believe public health is the only way I can apply information iv learned into the real world, while also having a part in medicine (even if ill be apart of the discovery/background only). I’ve always wanted to do research in infectious and chronic diseases, and I hoped to study how drugs play into these diseases as well. -Psychology - This is what I wanted to be for a long time, but one day or another I psyched myself out of it. Iv always been told i should have been a therapist. That I have a way with people and can dissect certain info and get the truth without even asking for it. I loved psychology with all my heart and i genuinely saw myself being a therapist, but in the world we live in today, it seems it wasnt the best job. So finally, is there a job that combines all 3? Or similar paths? Or is there a path you think id do well in based on the short piece you know about me? Thank you guys!

Hi - I posted in this group last week about a chemical smell coming from my fridge. It smells like intense refrigerant or nail polish remover, though I’m assuming it can’t be a Freon leak since the fridge is still working?
It makes our food taste like chemicals, and my partner and I have had sore throats for the last week - could this be related?
Our super is adamant that there is no smell, and there is 0 chance of poisoning but I feel unsafe eating food that tastes like chemicals?? Not sure the best group to post this in. Mostly looking for evidence that fridges can leak/cause smells like this to build a case for us to get a new fridge. Any ideas or ideas on where to post this?
Thank you 🙏🏼

Do I need to retest? Anxious
I had unprotected PIV (finishing inside) 6 months ago, I developed a sore throat 10 weeks after the encounter and went to urgent care where I got antibiotics and felt fine a few days after taking them. Then got a bf and we dated for 3 months and were unprotected PIV(finishing inside almost everytime) for that 3 months I was with him, I suffer from migraines already but 2 weeks after breaking up I developed everyday tension headaches and I was put on heavy headache medicine and we still haven’t got to the root cause of them. I did a full STD panel 72 days post any sexual contact which was also 202 days post the first unprotected encounter with the first guy as well. I did a 4th gen AG/AB blood draw from a vein through my hospital and it came back non reactive, my lab work is labeled “HIV antibody test” but once I click it, it is labeled all of that I stated earlier. It came back non reactive. Is this conclusive? Do I need to retest at all? I was negative for everything else as well, I feel my anxiety is just probably getting the best of me at this point cause drs ruled my sore throat as an ear infection draining and my tension headaches as most likely severe stress and sinusitis. If I would’ve gotten anything from the encounter 202 days ago, would it show by now? How about 72 days ago? My lab was quest diagnostics if that changes anything or if anyone knows anything, I was negative for everything else. I think I’m just really anxious cause some online forums say 90 days but others say 45.

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I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/user posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 5th May 2024
Update - 6th May 2024
​
1 New Update
Thanks to u/Small-Bodybuilder160 for finding the update
Final Update - 10th May 2024
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AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby?
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So, recently I(27F) had a beautiful baby girl with my husband(29M). She's my pride and joy, I love her more than I love myself. But, taking care of her has taken its toll on me. My husband promised the work would be 50/50 when we agreed we wanted children, but I don't feel that's being reflected by his actions this past month.
It's gotten to the point where I can't even ask him to wash her up without him saying something along the lines of, "My paternity leave is short, I want to make the most of it by relaxing a bit. I'll help you out later." And I get it. His paternity leave is only 6 weeks while mine is 16 weeks, but my nether regions hurt like a bitch for a better part of two weeks after the birth and all he could do for me was occasionally burp her.
Now, my baby girl has gotten to a phase where she doesn't want to sleep. She'll sleep for an hour, but then she's up and back to crying and I have to get up and try to soothe her. It's been happening for a week now and I've gotten so little sleep that I'm nodding off while eating or doing tge laundry and stuff. Saturday was the month anniversary of my daughter's birth, so I decided to gather both sides of the family to meet her. (They hadn't met her prior because a)I wanted to rest as much as I could and b)I heard somewhere that you shouldn't be taking babies out and about when they're fresh out the womb cause they're more prone to illness then).
So, we had this gathering at my mother's house and all was well. Everyone was cooing over our baby, there was food, people were catching up or meeting for the 1st time. It was nice. But, I had gotten about 3 hours(generous estimate) of sleep in total the past week and I was starting to feel the effects of it. I was feeling lightheaded and clammy, but I didn't wanna make a scene so I tried to go to a bedroom to lie down. I didn't take 10 steps before my vision completely blacked out.
I wasn't down for long, but I had fallen over which drew some attention. I explained to everyone who was concerned that I was fine and that I was just not getting enough sleep and I could see my husband visibly frown at that. They gave me some of the dessert my aunt made to get my sugar up and the party continued. I felt embarrassed about the whole thing, especially since everyone was still looking over me til we left, but it's whatever
What bothered me is my husband's reaction. When we got home, he started going off on me about how I "made him look bad" and like "he wasn't taking care of me". I was confused on how tf me passing out made HIM look bad, but he refused to explain himself and had a pity party for himself in the kitchen.
I was still feeling bad, so I decided to leave him alone and just to go sleep, but he seems to have taken that as a sign that I don't care about his feelings. He's in my ear this morning about how I just ignored him to go sleep last night and how I didn't even put the baby to sleep before leaving. Is he right? AITAH here?
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Update: So I've tried talking with him, but he's been ignoring me and the baby the last three hours. I'd usually wait longer, but I'm just too tired to deal with this right now. You guys were right, I do need help with this, and he's made it very clear he's not ready to help me yet, so I'm just going to go to my mom's place. I'm currently packing. I'm so done.
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Comments
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sophie_Mal
NTA and I can’t call your husband the names I want to because my comment will be deleted.
Paternity leave isn’t a time to relax, it’s a time you’re helping raise the baby and spending time together as a family. CLEARLY he is not doing either of these things as A. You’d be better rested and B. He’d have noticed you’re exhausted.
You passing out made him look bad because it was clear to everyone that you’re being left to raising your baby alone. It’s clearly not a partnership and the AH you’re married to is turning it onto you to shift responsibility and blame.
You need to seriously reconsider the relationships future and bring this up with him as it all comes down to him and his behaviour. If he gets his shit together, then things will be much better. But if he doesn’t, you and your daughter deserve so much better.
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awaythrowers97
He doesn't know what "paternity leave" is and doesn't really want to take care of his family. Sadly, you can't seem to shake that loser.
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ArticleOld598
This deadbeat of a father and husband is using his 6 weeks to laze around instead of using it taking care of his wife & child.
OP you said you love your baby more than yourself, would you want to let her grow up and think that it's normal for wives to push themselves while they're sleepless and in pain until they faint & husbands to berate them instead of worrying & taking care of them?
Tell your parents that your husband doesn't help you at all & blamed you for "making him look bad". You know what else makes him look bad? Being a deadbeat father and partner.
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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Hi all, your comments were really helpful, so thank you!
Yesterday, before I could Uber to my mom's house, my sister offered to help me, so I'm staying with her instead. She's taking PTA to help me out with my girl, which I'm very grateful for. She also gave me sleep medicine that knocked me out for hours (I'm not sure if that was a good idea or not, but I slept long and well so I don't care.)
I woke up a few hours ago to tons, and I mean TONS, of messages from my husband. Like, the little app icon had 99+ on it. Here are some of the things he said(copy pasted):
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• You cant just up and fucking leve with my baby
• Come back now pls let's talk abt it
• Your actually so fuvking immature wth is wrong with you we have one argument and you fucking pretend like I've been beating you why the hell did you leave????
• We can work this out like adults yet your choosing to be difficult like a little bitch
• Pls just come back we will talk and sort this out and we can go back to being happy so come back
• I miss my baby girl you can't just take her away
• What if I call the police for kidnapping??? Would that teach you wat your doing is wrong???

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I would screenshot, but it says this community doesnt allow attachments, so i can't. And I know it's a bit weird to tell yall what he's been texting me, but I'm mad right now and this feels therapeutic lol. I already sent the screenshots to his mom though!
As for my baby, I have an appointment to a paediatrician for Wednesday, but for now she's on formula since my breast milk quality isn't the best for understandable reasons. My sister said she wasn't as fussy as I described, so I really think the problem is with my milk. That or my sister wanted to make me feel better for sleeping, who knows. I'll wait for the doctor's opinion.
I'm not feeling 100% but I feel a whole lot more better than before. Thank you to everyone who showed concern! I think this will be the last update since I wanna not think too much about my husband rn.
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Comments
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ZombieJoesBasement
I am sooo glad you left and got some help and rest. You definitely need and deserve it.
I still can't get over your husband's mental gymnastics here. He hasn't been a parent, hasn't helped you at all, and hasn't really spent any time caring for his daughter and only cares about what other people (besides you) think, but "misses his baby girl" and wants you to come back "so we can go back to being happy"?! Sounds like the only person who was happy was him--he got a 6 week vacation and didn't have to lift a finger. Let me guess-you were doing all the cooking and cleaning on top of caring for the baby? From what he is texting you, he thinks he did nothing wrong. He is being deliberately obtuse.
To add insult to injury he calls you a bitch and threatens you with the cops. Lovely. He is a real peach.
I really want to know what his mom has to say. Does she know he was mad at you for passing out?
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Efficient-Cupcake247
Because it isn't about love. It is about control and image. Please keep strong. You have done a fabulous job doing what you need to for you and baby. Best wishes
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blehguardian
To be clear, kidnapping is not involved. Until a custody agreement is submitted to the court, either married parent is legally permitted to take their child for any reason.
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Aggravating-Pipe-903
Damn, this dude is crazy. Hopefully next update it’ll be ex-husband
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**New Updates*\*
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AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby? LAST UPDATE - 4 days later
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For all of you who wanted to know what his mother's reaction was, she yelled at him and he made that my problem. The things he's messaged me are vile. And even though MIL was mad at him and KNOWS what he's been saying to me, she still insisted that I go visit him face to face so we can work things out.
I don't really blame her. He's her son, of course she'd still want to help him, but still....With all the ways he's been threatening me and cussing me out, I really didnt want to see him, but I decided to go. Mostly because I needed the stuff that I left at our house.
I went with my sister for safety, obviously. We got there and he played with our baby, he offered to feed her (she wasn't hungry), just acting completely different from the man texting me about how much of a "heartless bitch" I am. I didn't really feel comfortable having him near me or the baby with how violent his texts were, but she's still his baby. I don't think the courts would favour him after I show his texts, but I thought I should rather be safe and allow him some form of contact before going to court. This was a mistake.
At the end of the visit, I decided I should go pack my stuff, since that was one of the only reason I agreed to come. But, I didn't feel comfortable not being there while he had my baby. Yeah, my sister was there and I trust her, but I'd rather watch her with my own eyes. So, my sister went upstairs to pack for me. As soon as she was gone, he started talking about "See? I'm good now I can take care of her." And other stuff but that wasn't the problem. Even if he became super dad, I wouldn't be able to see him the same. Not after all those messages he sent me.
I told him that and he got pissed at me. I was getting worried since my daughter was still in his arms, so I tried to deescalate his feelings. It didn't work and he started yelling at me for "being heartless" and "stubborn" and whatnot. I wasn't really focused on what he was saying, I was focused on my baby. I tried to reach out for her and he shoved me hard enough to fall back. My sister came down and tried to help, but he shoved her away too and ran to the guest room and locked himself and MY BABY in there. He refused to come out unless my sister left and i stayed behind. I can't tell y'all how scary it is to not know what's happening to your child.
It took officers almost 30 minutes to get him out, which pissed me off. Like I know they were probably trying to assess the danger or whatever but I just wanted my baby. In that 30 minute window he could've shaken her or threw her out the window or something and they were there asking him to come out like he was a child and not breaking down the door. She was fine, though, so I can't be too mad.
They didn't arrest him since "no harm was done" even though my sister and I have bruises to prove otherwise, but they held him outside while I packed my stuff. It actually bothers me that they didn't at least detain him, but there's not much I can do about it now. I don't think I'm going to go near him again. Not with my baby. I'm thinking of going to apply for that emergency custody thing yall were talking about.
This happened on Wednesday and I'm still shaken. It's really depressing, for a lack of better word, seeing how much he's changed. I really loved him and I felt he loved me too. How he's acting is crushing me. I feel deflated. My baby girl and my sister are really the only things keeping me going right now.
I'm sorry for the wall of text, it's just that texting this all out helps me feel better. But, I don't think I want to continue updating. Just know that we're splitting up. Thank you all for your support!!
Extra: after visiting the doctor, I've decided to just skip the hassle and formula feed. She seems happier with formula anyways.
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Comments
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JanetInSpain
OMG document everything. Take pictures of the bruises. Go see a doctor and tell the doctor you just need things documented to protect yourself and your baby. File a police report for assault and both you and your sister write detailed statements of everything that happened. Then apply for emergency custody.
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georgiajl38
Go to the police station and file a report for assault. Screw those cops. They didn't have to take him but the assault report should have definitely been filed. Get in front of a magistrate asap!!!
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Day 0!
5/13, total lap, took uterus, cervix, tubes, and did a bladder check. Edit: both ovaries intact.
I checked in about 840, surgery about 1040. One final pregnancy test. The staff was amazing (except the anaesthesiologist was a bit of a dick to one of the nurses, I didn’t like that-I think I might be reporting that… but he was fine to me). Even my gyno who I wasn’t a fan of during our appointments, I could tell surgery is where she was meant to be. I met my OR nurse, anaesthesiologist, and my gyno/surgeon in pre-op where every single person (plus surgical day care nurse) went over everything with me again and again, and ensured I was comfortable with what we were planning to do, and confirmed that barring any issues, my catheter would be removed during surgery, and then a camera check up the urethra and into the bladder. There was a slight hiccup in something in the lab with my pre op blood work where they listed me as a c section (ABSOLUTELY NOT) and something in the test regarding transfusion expired within 3 days and I did my pre op Thursday. I was worried it was going to delay things but since I have been fortunate and never had a transfusion (and the surgeon believed me and didn’t want her day messed up, plus they had the Thursday results) they called the lab, they were there super quick, and it was drawn up then I was wheeled in to the OR. Once in the OR they had me transfer onto the table, got me situated, introduced the surgical team, and my surgeon went over everything one last time while I was still conscious and made sure everyone was on the same page and ready to go. I was given oxygen and told to take a few deep breaths, and then they started pumping meds into my IV and I was out.
From what I hear (my surgeon called my mom/pickup person) it all went like clockwork. I was out in under two hours, into recovery to wake up and when I came to, three nurses (or health care workers, whatever their role, but I think RNs) were chatting about me near my bedside on how I had a lack of requirements before I could be discharged. I don’t think they realised or expected me to be awake so quickly but I said I had been told that as soon as I could walk to the bathroom and pee on my own, I could leave. They looked a little shocked. Not sure if because I was awake or because I knew what I needed to do.
I did say in recovery to my nurse that I felt like I needed to pee, but they wanted me to wait until the hour was up in recovery and I was transferred back to surgical day care.
Once I was in day care I was given juice, digestive cookies and my phone and started texting my mom, who was right outside, and said I was back to where she could come see me. The person at the desk at the front tried not to let her in and said I wasn’t back yet (not sure if there was a lack of communication or no) but mom insisted I was texting her and telling her I was back, and the woman from the desk had to come in and check for herself that I was back… and asked my nurse-who was again nearby-and I heard the front desk woman muttering and said something about “her mom”. I piped up and said don’t try to stop her from coming in, she won’t go away and she would get in either way, I’m texting with her now. The woman didn’t like that much, but my nurse laughed and okay’d her coming in.
Nurse back in day care listened to me pretty quick, did her checks and made she I could sit/stand and disconnected my IV line. She walked me to the bathroom to make sure I was okay. I peed without issue-it was a bit tender coming out but no burning… but man. Maybe bring your own toilet paper. That rough stuff is even rougher when you’re sensitive😳
I felt immediately better cause now I knew they could let me out once my final hour in recovery was complete. Another glass of juice, some more post op checks done, and I was able to get my IV out. (I know most people wouldn’t like IVs but it was a huge hang up for me… my veins suck and it was tender and once they confirmed I could leave I wanted it GONE.
Passed the rest of the time chatting, going over discharge paperwork/instructions, then I was given the official go ahead to change and leave. Slow going, changing, and man the hospital pads are atrocious (and no wings?!). I peed once more, hating the toilet paper but loved the mesh ish shorts they gave me and asked for a couple more, and they gave me two or three more. I was allowed to leave just after 230pm.
I was able to walk out of the hospital on my own two feet. Slowly, but walking and being upright felt much better than sitting. The nurse said it was allowed as long as mom was right there (which she obviously was) in case I got dizzy. We walked out to the front entrance (elevator, no stairs of course), and I stood at a safe spot where I could sit if I needed to, while she went and got the car from the far side of the lot. I probably could have walked it, but it was slow and didn’t want to chance anything.
The ride home was a bit rough-I forgot my pillow and I think that would have helped. Held my hands/palms onto my lower belly for some support. It was manageable, I wasn’t crying out in pain or anything, but definitely internally felt every little bump despite mom trying her best to avoid them.
I’m staying in my own apartment, (parent’s offered me to stay at theirs but I’m far more comfy in my own place, and no stairs) my dad’s sleeping on the couch while my pup is at the house with my mom and their two dogs. So far I’ve been able to manage on my own but it’s nice knowing he’s here incase I need something. When I got home, much to my dad’s chagrin (he wanted to do it for me), I made myself buttered toast, had an ice cream sandwich, some arrowroot cookies, a Tylenol and after eating upright and walking in circles a bit, I went to my bed with my heating pad, pregnancy pillow and about 8462619 other pillows I adjusted as needed. I’m very happy I had a pregnancy pillow. I was debating getting the wedges but decided with the option of Amazon same day/next day delivery, if I changed my mind it wouldn’t be long without it.
Obviously there’s more internal room now, but a heads up-I’ve peed a few times since getting home (it’s near 1am) I have noticed that “hmm I need to pee” turns quickly into “YUP GOTTA GO” when I stand up. I think that little bit extra gravity assist hits when I stand. No burning, still just a bit sensitive, but I bought a peri care bottle with a nozzle on it and is it a game changer. The hospital gave me one but it didn’t have an angled nozzle, which to me is useless unless I want to climb in my shower every time or end up with water all over my floor. First time I used it, I just rinsed with cool water multiple times as it was soothing (not going into the vagina).
There’s been very little blood so far-some spotting but not much.
The pain? Feels like a concentrated day 2 of my usual bad periods, with low back pain (helped greatly with heating pad). Like most of us here… we’re used to heavy pain so it’s not all that unbearable.
I was given tramadol, and didn’t take my first one until 9pm. Didn’t love the feeling. And my limbs started tingling which was weird. That’s supposed to be a withdrawal effect. But my body doesn’t handle drugs well so could just be me. I’ll see what happens later in the night if I need something else, I’ll take it. But so far the pain/discomfort is reminding me not to sleep how i normally do-on my side with my leg up toward my abdomen.
I’ve got my naproxen and Tylenol that the pharmacy okay’d me to take instead of Advil and Tylenol.
Forgot to mention-my throat is a bit sore, but not nearly what I expected. Feels like I just spent some time around a campfire where the smoke randomly followed me. One Halls seemed to help, and of course, ice cream sandwiches 😂.
And now to wait for meeting the real me after 20+ years of being on oral birth control… should be some definite hormonal swings during recovery plus that, but can’t wait😂🤦🏻‍♀️
Edit: one thing I did that I haven’t seen posted otherwise in this subreddit is that I put a cooling cloth, soaked in water, in a ziplock bag, and stuck it laying down flat in my freezer before surgery. I don’t think I really needed to, but I had that laying (with clothing on and a tea towel wrapped around it) on my lower belly and it molded perfectly as it melted a tad, and felt great. I wasn’t told not to ice it, I wasn’t told to ice it, but I figure as long as it feels good, it’s not damaging anything or getting anything wet. Might be something for others to consider! I wouldn’t want the weight of a large ice pack or anything on me right now, but just that in the ziplock with a light pillow overtop was perfect.
1DPO: might be TMI!
The gas! Holy cow! I thought it was coming out in little burps and farts (which I’ve had on and off since last night). Things got moving in my bowels about 24 hours from discharge. I had buttered toast, cottage cheese, pudding and ice cream sandwiches since I’ve been home. Took a stool softener about an hour ago but it’s not supposed to be fast acting, but maybe my brain/body decided it was time or what.
Sat on the toilet for a long while, no pushing or straining, just let gravity assist. Things were moving and came out okay, I thought that was that. I went and got some apple juice, walked around the apartment a bit, then went to rearrange my pillows to get back into bed (still better to stand/walk or lay down instead of sitting right now) and felt things moving again. Went back to the bathroom just incase. Oooooh my, biggest fart I’ve ever had in my LIFE! More gas and excrement followed and (pun intended) holy crap do I feel better! I thought I was just swollen inside cause I hadn’t felt any gas pain (except overnight a tiny bit in my left shoulder) but major relief!

I will refer to “friend group” as FG.
So, I (20F) have This friend (20F), let’s call her A. We’ve known each other since middle school, but tbh we haven’t been the closest of friends.
For context, we’ve been in the same friend group throughout all of middle and high school, which fizzled out after graduating. I’m not super heartbroken about the friend group falling apart because I’ve never really hung out with anyone outside of group meetups aside from my best friend (who was in the same group). None of them ever asked me to hang out, and me, being the person I am, assumed it was cause they didn’t want to, so I didn’t initiate to hang with them either.
After the FG graduated high school, we decided to go on a fun trip during spring break, where we’d stay 2 nights in an AirBnB. 6 ppl out of the FG decided to go. Me, my bff, A, two other friends, and a guy we’ll call B, who was the only male on the trip. I wasn’t really close with him but he was in the friend group and I thought he was okay.
Anyway, in prep. for the trip, I decided to pay for the BnB and have everyone pay me pack on their own time (they all did). I also offered to drive since my dad allowed us to use his truck for the trip (it fit 6 ppl and we wanted to save on gas). Everyone contributed to the food and such (my bff bought a large dish that we would bring to avoid making dinner the 1st night), but the main person cooking meals was A. I thought the trip went really well, until I dropped everyone off when the trip was over.
Basically, A confided in me something that happened between her and B and we talked for a little while, with me trying my best to give advice or an opinion. (Keep in mind I’m not really qualified cause I’m basically celibate lmao). This was the first time in our years of friendship that she confided in me something super emotional for her. I felt that by trusting in me, I was shown that she actually cared about our friendship, and I was willing to put more effort into our communication. I wanted her to be okay, and naturally hung out with her whenever she wanted or when our schedules aligned.
Onto the advice part. After a few weeks (or perhaps closer to a month), A had a noticeable decline in her mental health, which I think I tried my best in helping with, meeting up and talking and such. But then she suddenly left the FG’s group chat, and then I sent her a text asking what was wrong, I got messages by another friend in the FG saying that A was leaving the friend group and that I was a main reason as to why. I can’t remember the exact circumstances as to her reasoning since it was a year ago, but I do remember that I didn’t respond to a text she sent earlier in the morning (I was going to class and forgot to respond, by the time I remembered it was deleted), and that was her “last straw.” I was devastated by this. I thought “wtf did I do I’m an awful friend I have to try and make this right.” So I tried sending A a message in hopes she would grant me a response. I sent and unsent messages, trying to find the right message before just deciding to ask for a talk. I would’ve preferred face to face, but she called me, and I picked up. My emotions were high, and I was vulnerable, and scared, cause I was finally close to her as a friend and I was about to loose her over something as silly and forgetting to respond to a text. While on the call, she ranted that she was putting so much effort into all her friendships, only to not get anything in return. “I would give so much and for what? I’d ask you how you’re doing, every time there’s a thunderstorm, but when I need you you don’t respond.” (I’m pretty scared of thunder. Ik it’s irrational and some call it childish but i can’t really help it. I’m thinking it anxiety???) I tried to not cry while talking to her but I ending up breaking, telling her the truth that I’m scared of not being a good friend, that I don’t know shit about anyone and that “ill be better and I’m sorry.” Stuff like that. Not my best moment :/
A few days after, we met in person, she forgave me, and I swore I’d make sure to communicate with her more.
But that’s the thing. I tried, but I didn’t get much of a response back. I’d send memes, start convos, ask to hang out, and most of the time the texts would go unread. I knew she was busy with work and such, and then me living 30 minutes away makes it harder to hang out, but I couldn’t help but feel it might’ve been some sort of revenge? It just felt shitty, and I couldn’t help but think that she’s giving me a taste of my own medicine.
Then she responded and we hung out, and we didn’t really talk about anything emotional. Just basic stuff.
Then she started school again, and suddenly it was like she didn’t exist. I NEVER got a response to anything, even when her status said she was active on insta (main form of communication). She’s in a STEM major, which ik can be super demanding but, not even time to like a reel or send a quick message?? Our dm’s became a graveyard for unseen reels and lost messages from me about meaningless things. Eventually I stopped sending anything, thinking she just didn’t wanna hang out with me anymore.
Then I got a response saying she was on break, and because I’m me, I was happy and didn’t mention the months of ghosting.
Then she started school again, and it was the same process.
She finally ended her semester along with everyone else, and she’s finally connected me again to hang out. I said yes because I wanna give her a chance, even though I’ve talked with my BFF and she told be things she found sketch about A. (Short of it is: a had a similar convo with BFF that she did with me, but BFF said she actually did contribute the the friendship and that the same stuff could be said for A, which I didn’t even think about till BFF and I talked about it).
I really want to continue this friendship, but there are red flags that I’m seeing. How to I go about talking to her and mending the rocky relationship we have?
TLDR: I have an inkling my friend might be a little manipulative/toxic, but I don’t wanna loose the friendship. How do I fix this???
I try answering any questions on context to the best of my abilities. This is my first post on the subreddit.

Hey all, hope you're all well. As the title implies, I am quite unwell and may not have much longer on this earth. Hence asking this question, despite it being asked over and over, because I have quite unique requirements.
TLDR: Which duffel suits me best, for 1-2 week trips, out of the 40L Patagonia, 55L Patagonia, or 71L North Face (or smaller North Face), given that this may be my final trip, and given that money is tight due to medical treatments etc?
At the moment, I own several Evergoods backpacks and slings. I also own (or semi-own, shared with my partner) an old-style, bright red, plasticky-looking Patagonia Black Hole duffel in 55L (I hate the colour and look of it, only got it as it was like $100 USD off). Other than that, I just have a medium-size American Tourister suitcase.
Anyway, long story short, I'd like to get a new duffel. Part of it is that I've always hated the shiny look of the Patagonia duffels - no longer an issue with this 2024 update. But it has annoyed me for years, our bright red Patagonia 😡
It would be used primarily for trips 1-2 weeks long, naturally sometimes just a weekend trip, pretty much always domestically. I'm someone who struggles to pack smartly and minimally - especially in winter. So that's something to consider, but I'm getting back into it, meaning the whole "minimalist" carrying thing.
I would largely have the ability to wash my clothes on the go. It would need to fit: probably enough clothes for five days, including business shoes + a toiletries/dopp kit (using an Evergoods CAP2 for this) + a medicines kit (have a number of health issues, again, using a different CAP2 for this) + ideally my Birkenstocks (I wear Converses on my days off, business shoes for work naturally and nice dinners, and the Birkenstocks for little things like walking down the road to the local supermarket, or taking the laundry out to hang it up etc).
But I can live without the Birkenstocks on trips, so it would be: wearing Converses with business shoes in the duffel. Naturally, laptop + power bank + most medicines (especially important for my Ritalin) + a book + cables + whatever else can go in my Evergoods 24L CPL. And then with my sling to take out each day to explore.
So I am not sure whether to get the Patagonia or the North Face, in the 40 (Patagonia), 55L (Patagonia), or the North Face in S or M. Sadly, where I live, it is more or less impossible to see them in person before buying. I have the 55L Patagonia, as I said, and other than the coloutextile, the main things I don't like are: a) lack of internal organisation (not improved for the 2024 version I believe), and b) when not crammed full, it sags and lacks structure.
I'm hoping this is a bag I can use for many years to come, and I'm just sick of having to use my suitcase all the time (just that it's big, chunky, obnoxious). For other types of travel I've got an Osprey backpack that I pair with my sling for exploring during the day.
So yes, my questions are:

1. What size would be appropriate, given it will be largely for one to two week trips, with me not being great at packing smartly and minimally, with the options being 40L, 55L or 71L, but with the option of washing say once every 5-7 days?; and
2. Which brand/product is better - durability, cost, value, look, warranty etc?

I will say - I love the "look" of the Patagonia, especially in the matte blue finish. Other than that, I'm open to jumping ship to the North Face, if needed. Final thing is the price - I can get the 40L Patagonia (new design) for $185 AUD, so ~$120 USD, I can get the 55L Patagonia (new design) for around $200 AUD, so ~$130 USD, and the North Face M for $175 AUD, so ~$115 USD.
The North Face is therefore around $100 AUD cheaper than normal, meaning, $100 AUD cheaper than the standard price for the bag, being $70 USD cheaper, as it is on clearance (making it a great deal, in my opinion, but again, happy to spend more on a Patagonia if it will be a better bag for me). That's specifically for the "Timber Tan" colour, which I quite like. It also boils down to the size - I hate it when a bag is too big for what you need it for.
It's the reason I sold my Evergoods MPL30 and CPL28. I'm 6'2", so it wasn't an issue of them being too big for my frame - just too big for my EDC. And that feeling of not wanting "too much room" transfers across to duffels. But then again, it's shit when you are packing for a trip and can't even fit the essentials - especially my CAP2 medicines kit and CAP2 toiletries bag, they take up a fair bit of space.
In so many ways, the 40L Patagonia would be perfect - lifetime warranty as far as I know, and a company dedicated to saving the environment. Plus it is small enough to take as carry-on when flying, I think, and I much prefer the new Patagonia design over the North Face design. But I don't want to come across as sold on the Patagonia! The North Face, for me, seems to have the advantages of that extra external pocket and compression straps. I don't know that there's too much else for it.
Thanks so much for any help. Going through a tough time in my life, and this is just a little thing to look forward to and it will make imagining my next holiday easier, which would be so nice, if I do get to holiday again 💛👌🏻
PS - can also get the Bellroy "Venture Duffel" 55L for $200 AUD, so ~$130 USD, or the North Face "Base Camp Voyager Duffel" 42L for $245 AUD, so ~$160 USD. I love Bellroy, the bag looks amazing, but I hate that they don't stand by their products and offer a lifetime/much longer warranty. And I don't know what the difference is between the "Base Camp Voyager" and the standard "Base Camp" duffel? If anyone knows, please let me know.
Okay, rant over. Truly, any assistance would mean the world to me - the kindness of strangers is getting me through life right now.

This weekend, Ajax Budokan invited Kodokan 9th dan and former head of the Tokyo Police dojo, Michio Fukushima Sensei, to conduct a 4 hour clinic for Kodokan Goshin Jutsu. It was open to yellow belt and higher, though the majority consisted of Yudansha. My senseis had the honour of demoing the kata, as Fukushima Sensei's health did not permit presenting each technique multiple times, though he did show some of the finer details, demo mechanics, and gave comments as to what was good and displayed what could be fixed. He also talked about older versions of the techniques and how/ why they have been changed. Regretfully, it totally slipped my mind to film during the seminar, as there was a lot of good information, translated (and left untranslated) by the interpreter.
Some General Notes on Fukushima Sensei Fukushima Sensei on multiple occasions mentioned how one should carry themselves and move, more specifically he talked about how he usually sees toris get away with bad shisei as uke's attacks are generally to kind or passive, and that if they genuinely attacked, most toris would be off balance. Additionally he mentioned that a lot of IFJ competition now is power judo, where the technical aspects are replaced for brute force and speed.
The main note he makes is to keep the knees alive (slightly bent and bouncy like a spring), and that most novices have a tendency to straight leg their kata. He also made it a great point to explain the logic of the waza in the kata and how the kuzushi is created. Other important details he talked about were that uke shouldn't be a limp noodle once his attack is over, that tori should keep good sabaki (unclear if sabaki was short hand for tai sabaki as he also stated tai sabaki on different occasions (the details were paraphrased by the translator)), and the usage of rotation from the hips to maintain proper balance (tai sabaki). Additionally, he talked about things relating to karada (the body) and some anecdotes (such as stories about judoka such as Michigami, Isao Okano, and Nagaoka if I was hearing correctly, though I don't speak Japanese, only somewhat familiar with it), which were left untranslated or paraphrased sadly.
Emphasised details in the kata (not explanations or descriptions of how to do a technique) and my experiences (FYI Sensei mostly used the Tomiki names for the waza Tori applied)
Attacks when held

1. Ryote dori - my partner and I (both new to this kata for the most part) went in on this one and struggled as we didn't see the detail of thumb in hand for the lock (blind leading the blind, though we later worked near a kind pair after this who helped check more closely as they were experienced in the kata)
   1. Yahazu (hook notch shaped hand [thank you Mr. Gatling for pointing that out]) is very important to direct uke's arm
   2. You aren't pulling the arm away to free it, you are pushing your elbow forward which pressures uke's arm
   3. Te gatana to the uto (point between uke's eyes)
   4. When applying the lock (te gatame), make sure to rotate uke's hand such that the fingers are pointing up
   5. When applying the lock, take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
2. Hidari eri dori - I particularly liked this one, though my uke was confused the first few times as he kept trying to apply waki gatame.
   1. Tori must grab underneath uke's hand on the lapel when stepping back
   2. When grabbing uke's hand to break the grip and apply the lock (kote hineri), tori should have his thumb in between uke's thumb and fingers, and to take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
   3. Uke should try to maintain jigo tai rather than lean so the lock is applied cleanly
   4. Tori's hand should not be limp when delivering the strike
3. Migi eri dori - I couldn't get kote gaeshi to work properly, will have to practice and ask my sensei about it later, same with my partner
   1. Tori should maintain a upright posture as uke pulls him forward, and use the landing of his foot to drive his hand for the uppercut to uke
   2. Tori should try to keep uke's hand attached to his centerline as he makes tai sabaki
4. Kata ude dori - My uke was very stiff, so applying the initial lock to him proved difficult, though he claims he felt it. I found this kata easy to remember as the legs go left right left right (step, step, tai sabaki, kick, then lead with the right for the lock)
   1. You are kicking with the side of the foot
   2. The step before the kick pivot around so your feet are almost parallel
   3. For waki gatame, you should be standing inside his feet, near parallel to the line perpendicular to his feet
5. Ushiro eri dori - I had experience with this one as sensei had taught during some free time a while back
   1. The parry with the arm was stated to also be the preferred way to receive punches, though take that as you will (though it is a common method in karate as well)
   2. The strike should be to the suigetsu (solar plexus)
   3. Trap uke's hand with your head so that it can't wiggle all over the place when applying the lock
6. Ushiro jime - My partner and I both had a tendency to lift the shoulder off after spinning out, will have to work on that. I will be honest, had I known this escape, I probably would have come out of an incident a few years back (before I started Judo) rather unscathed as I was jumped and then kicked on the ground by a person who was quite a pain.
   1. The attack and initial defence are identical to that of katame no kata, following which tori rotates out
   2. Keep pressure with your shoulder until your grip has been changed
7. Kakae dori - We didn't have enough mat space to finish the throw without running into other groups, but the technique is surprisingly effective. Though I couldn't initially find out how to do the armlock and had to ask my sensei about it, now it's pretty easy.
   1. Rotate the arm away from you (clockwise from your perspective) and pull uke's arm into you
   2. During the initial stomp, straighten up and raise your arms to loosen uke's grip

Attacks when at a distance - I got less time to try these in general as I wanted my partner to get a feel for them as they are a bit more complicated and he is less experienced

1. Naname uchi - this was a fun situation, it shows how a little bit of atemi can be used to setup a randori waza, and Fukushima Sensei complimented my senseis' performance saying that it was better than the current text book
   1. Te gatana is used to redirect the strike
   2. Osoto otoshi is performed
   3. Pushing the arm through is important to create the kuzushi necessary for the waza
2. Ago tsuki - I didn't actually get a chance to try this one more than once as my partner struggled with it, he kept applying a shoulder lock by pushing on the elbow without the redirect with the thumb up (shoulder is still sore)
   1. when directing uke's attack up and away, do not lean back as then you are unstable
   2. Use yahazu to direct uke's elbow toward his ear
   3. As uke will not like this use the moment after releasing the elbow lock to throw him forward in the direction perpendicular to his feet.
3. Gammen Tsuki - My partner really liked this one, I can see the uses as I've used similar entries when messing around with strikes + judo with this partner as I have a bit of karate experience
   1. Uke is meant to do a break fall, thus tori needs to get out of the way after releasing the choke
   2. Uke should realistically be aiming for where tori's uto would be if he did not evade
4. Mae Geri - this was a relatively easy one to grasp, but quite a bit of practice is needed before a full force kick can be considered
   1. Rotate ukes foot outwards so that it is not easy for him to rotate in to escape
   2. In the original, tori would lift uke's leg high but many ukes ended up injured from hitting their heads, so now tori just pushes back
5. Yoko geri - My sensei has introduced this one at the dojo before as well, though he prefaced it with about a minute of just practicing a side kick. My partner (who suffers from light knee pain) couldn't kneel during the finish
   1. The use of the te gatana to redirect the kick in the direction it is going, very similar to karates low block
   2. During the finish tori creates a void for uke to be thrown but in real life tori would throw uke onto his knee

Attacks with weapons - I understand people dislike these (reasonably in some cases), but I've found them to be useful points to explore
Attacks with a knife - Sensei Fukushima mentioned how despite my senseis making it look easy
Both my partner and I have practiced these quite a lot (I was the only one who was taught it by sensei but we practiced it on our own time), so not as many personal notes. Though I don't have a good experience so my brain switches to serious and my heart rate increases despite the fact that I know these are fake weapons.

1. Tsukkake
   1. The elbow should be pushed forward (I've actually experimented with this in the past by asking uke to try to stab me as I applied the defence, and we've found after the initial push and strike, tori is in a relatively good position, be it to run away or finish the kata)
   2. Push the locked up arm up and towards uke, then guide him to the ground
2. Choku zuki - I struggled to apply the waki gatame, I'm guessing it was control of the wrist that was the problem, this form is relatively straight forward and makes sense
   1. The strike should not be a boxer style punch, but more like the first punch in szkt
   2. uke should not go limp
   3. when moving away from uke, take him perpendicular to the line between his feet
3. Naname Zuki - Personally I think this form is cutting it close in many regards, but the control tori has is quite surprising
   1. Don't grab the blade from the sharp edge

Attacks with a jo - PSA, no matter how much you trust your uke, mistakes happen (especially with such a solid weapon) so remain vigilant to mitigate damage

1. Furi age - this was a relatively easy technique to grasp as it is an application of O soto gari setup with a palm strike to the chind
   1. Tori should enter as soon as uke begins to raise his arm, almost a preemptive entry
   2. Tori strikes at the ago (chin) with a palm strike, then places his hand on the throat for the throw
2. Furi oroshi - My partner leant into the swing and wacked me on the forehead, it could've been worse but it just grazed the outer layer as I saw the jo come closer after my initial retreat and attempted to turn out of the way. Both a PSA for tori and uke. Tori do not keep your eyes off uke, and uke please don't lean into a swing, you are horribly off balance, and you make it harder for tori to read. Also uke don't speed up when you 2 are learning (I don't know why my partner chose too...)
   1. Do not hop back onto one leg and then towards uke with the other, it leads you to have bad posture
   2. Better to make a big retreat than get hit
   3. 2 strike, one ura ken (back fist), followed by knife hand push
   4. Uke's swing should be at a diagonal
3. Morote zuki - I didn't get to practice this one as my partner was taken a bit aback after the previous incident and couldn't get the steps right for this one. Fukushima Sensei mentioned something along the lines of how a judoka was faced with a juken and couldn't figure out what to do, and thus this form was created to address that.
   1. Tori shouldn't be rowing the jo away to shake off and throw uke
   2. The arm puts pressure on uke's arm forward
   3. Tori should be trying to angle the jo down towards himself after the initial grab

Attacks with a gun - I struggled with all of these, but I think the principles are relatively sound. Though in real life, I'd most likely give up my valuables. Fukushima Sensei emphasised hip rotation in these movements, as he says that you want to direct the gun away without moving your feet, which is what uke would be seeing when looking at your pocket.
Always make sure to begin your defence after uke is clearly focused on checking your pockets, never when his focus is directly on you

1. Shomen Zuke
   1. Grab the barrel of the gun thumb up
   2. During the disarm, push the gun's muzzle to face towards him
2. Koshi Gamae - I kept getting the second hand wrong and thus the barallel was pointed towards me in the final attack, will need to work on that
   1. Grab the barrel of gun initially with the thumb down with your right hand, and push the gun so that it is horizontal after turning left, then grab the gun from below with your right
   2. make sure to not point the gun at yourself when hitting with the butt
3. Haimen Zuke - this is quite a dangerous move in theory, but also one of the more likely ones
   1. Wrap uke's arm with your arm, but make sure to direct the muzzle up with the free arm
   2. [uke] should let go of gun, as this is a hard breakfall

Overarching and repeated themes in the kata

• The use of yahazu to direct the arm rather than grips
• Keeping uke's hand connected to your centerline when applying kansetsu waza
• te gatana is a useful tool to redirect and or strike the opponent quickly
• During the gun portion, always rotate the gun off your centerline, so that even if it does fire, it doesn't penetrate too deep
• Control the gun by the muzzle
• most finishes are done by guiding uke perpendicular to the line in between his feet
• Do not directly oppose an opponents force
• Maintanence of balance at all times and moving from the hips is key
• Uke should attack meaningfully
• Action reaction is used quite a lot to first lock uke up towards his face, so that when he pushes back he is easily lead away

Overall, it was quite a good event, and I learned a lot. This kata isn't the most realistic with the attacks (though apparently a few people I know have used the ryote dori attack shockingly), but what I've learned so far is relatively sound, hopefully some time soon I can convince my partner to do some live resistance sparring with some gear on (which I have done with the knife portion with a plastic knife). Fukushima Sensei had a lot to say, as he was actively discussing his experiences and koshiki no kata after the seminar with another Japanese speaker, and I hope to be able to attend another one of his classes again someday.
Here are some videos featuring Michio Fukushima from a few years back, both where he was actively demoing, and where he had a slightly more corrective position.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1253474818155243
https://youtu.be/VKgdMJS9eck?si=bGMemLfG9aquAHr1