On Thursday, I had a memorable experience at a restaurant where I had the opportunity to connect with a girl at the host desk. In a nutshell, I expressed my interest to the waitress, who relayed the message to the girl. Since she was a bit shy, I took the initiative to approach her and engage in a pleasant conversation, which ultimately led to us exchanging numbers. Before I left, I hugged her, leaving a positive impression.
Afterwards, I began texting her, but I wasn't in the right mindset, and it reflected in my messages. Here's a brief summary of our conversation:
I started with a good morning text, introducing myself as the cute guy from the previous night (my name), and expressed my pleasure in meeting her. I also inquired about what time she got home.
She replied, sharing the time she arrived and greeted me with a "heyy."
I proceeded to ask about her evening and so on.
Around the third message, I mentioned that I was planning something for both of us and asked about her interests.
She responded by saying she enjoys anything and apologized for the delayed reply due to her busy work day. Since she was still at work, I decided to let her focus on her job and ended up going to bed early. I didn't reply until the following day.
Now, here comes the fumble. I responded to her message about liking various things with a meme 😏. However, the very next message I sent was related to her work, and here's where I made a mistake. I edited my message three times, trying different variations of "They had you sweating like that on a Friday 😭". Looking back, I realize that I should have just left the message as it was, or better yet, refrained from sending it altogether, as I recognized it was not the best choice of words.
Understandably, she did not respond after seeing my message.
Now, two days have passed, and I genuinely like this girl as she fits my preferences. However, I lack experience when it comes to texting girls and relationships in general. Is there a way to recover from this situation? I've been contemplating giving her a call since I feel more comfortable and confident in person.
What’s a good why to revive this?

Began with Chloe being Chloe and standing in front of the train then jumping off last second. Of course 😂 first thing I noticed was the way she sways side to side when she walks. She seemed so happy. I sure hope some tragic shit doesn't go down and her best friend has to sacrifice her in order to save a town from a huge storm, that would suck!
I like the 'superpower' they gave her, you have to make good insults until she gets her way. She used it to get past the big security guy and into the event. She wanted a shirt but it was too expensive, so I stole it, and the cash. I know stealing is not a very morally correct thing to do, but Chloe likes to fuck around, she's rebellious and I think she would do that if I wasn't the one who was controlling her.
I talked to Frank. She still owed him money. It was nice to see another familiar face though.
Into the mosh pit I went, except Chloe bumped into two men and one of them spilled their beer. I apologised and walked away, not sure if Chloe knows how to fight but I'd rather not have to find out. Went upstairs for a better view and then those same two men cornered her. But then Rachel comes in and is like "Hey, Dickhead!" then I ran. Rachel held Chloe's hand and pulled her along and Frank stopped the men. I hope I get to have a deeper dive into Frank's character in this game.
Chloe woke up in her room and I checked her journal. There's a letter to Max, talking about how she's a loser and Chloe's doing great without her. She's lying to herself so she doesn't have to feel the weight of her problems. I know how that feels. There's also another unwritten letter to Max which is a bit friendlier. It ends with "Chloe, the unfriended". Know how that feels too. I think her whole journal is just a bunch of unwritten letters to max. Nice. I get to go even deeper into who she is. I love when games let you do that. Although it'll probably make me feel really bad for her and give me another case of "post-Life is Strange depression" by the end of the game 😁
I knew very well Joyce would realise Chloe was out somewhere she shouldn't be if she wore the stolen shirt, so I just chose the raven one. Found Chloe's phone and looked through her messages. Seems Chloe wanted to hang out but Max ended up not answering her messages after a certain point. I know that feeling all too well. And there's a dude named Eliot, wonder why Chloe never mentioned him to Max.
Downstairs Joyce and Chloe quarrel about David and school. For fucks sake, I wish they gave me and option to be calm! I mean they do, only at the end though. I chose to be understanding.
Went outside and of course Chloe and David didn't get along very well. I just wish I could go in there and tell them their future, if that's what it takes for them to finally be nice to one another. Although I could see David was trying to be nice. Failing, but trying. Anyway, after all that David comes up to Chloe and holds his fist in the most awkward fucking position imaginable, took me a bit to even realise he wanted a fist bump. I accepted, not before pausing and laughing for 5 minutes at his blank ass stare and wonky ass fist 😭 glad they had a little bonding moment though.
In the car David says "We don't have to like each other, but you WILL respect me." I mean, true, but how about come off a bit friendlier? A bit more like a loving, gentle father? I wish he had said something like "Hey, I know you don't think I'm a the best dad, but I genuinely love this family. I really wanna build a healthy relationship with you Chloe, whether you believe it or not. I care about you." But I think after being in the military David's gotten used to people giving orders. I understand. I just made Chloe ignore, no point in fighting.
She dreamed about the crash. William was just singing and them BAM. This is why I can't stand people who speed. I'll be on the road and see some fuckass teenagers goofing around going at lightspeed. They don't know, all it takes is a single mistake to kill so many people. I pray that one day we invent cars that break automatically before a collision. Cuz humans are so immature.
Anyway, at the school Eliot tells me about how everyone knows about the incident with Chloe and Rachel at the concert. I wonder if Joyce will end up finding out.
I then walk up to the fountain and read what it says. "The future needs excellence? The future's an asshole." Chloe said. You haven't the faintest idea Chloe...
I went up to Victoria and talked. She was nice to Kari Chloe, at first. I think that's only cuz Chloe was around Rachel, who's popular, so she's now seen as popular by association. And you know, popular kids in school are basically Demigods.
Then I talked to Samantha, who seems to be very similar to Kate. The same gentle nature. Bit of awkward interaction with her, since she accidentally talks about how a lot of people say Chloe is bitchy.
Chloe played DnD with Steph and Mikey. They seem so nice, they remind me of some of my friends. Again, I wonder why Chloe didn't mention them to Max. Maybe they're not as close as her and Rachel? We'll see.
After defeating Duurgaron, I signed Evan's petition for a fire safety assembly. Maybe this'll actually be useful. Maybe it'll just get Chloe out of class. Time will tell.
To my surprise I came across Nathan Prescott himself being bullied. I decided to step in. Can I just say Chloe's insults are top notch? "Congrats, you've actually got me feeling sorry for Arcadia Bay's most spoiled brat." Perfect. Samantha thought so too, she found it pretty funny. Even told him to stfu! But of fucking course Nathan was insulted by our help. I guess he was going through some tough shit too though. If only he wasn't a future psychopath, I would try to befriend him.
Fast forward to when Chloe and Rachel ditched class and jump onto a train. Now the adventure begins. While Chloe was sitting with Rachel she felt nervousness for the first time. I might be wrong but I sense a crush, was Chloe interested in Rachel before Max? I mean she even trips on her words! 😂 "It's nice Rachel we're having." Idk about you but to me this seems like what people do around others they find attractive. Later they gave me an option to flirt too, and Rachel calls Chloe pretty, so I guess that confirms it.
I just have to say the 2 truths and a lie thing was so awkward cuz Don't Nod decided to put random scenes of the two just staring at each other not talking in between lines. Maybe it was another hint that they like each other? Idk.
Cool thing I noticed while they were playing the game was that Chloe got "hella" from Rachel. Man they write these games so well.
I felt so peaceful while the two listened to music together, the soundtrack of these games are masterpieces alone. I would pay just to listen even if the games were shit.
After the two played the viewfinder game Rachel suddenly walked away and then when I walked up to her and talked. She seemed pissed...I wasn't sure if she was joking or not. Did she not like the prostitute joke?
Later at the junkyard, after stealing some wine from innocent people, the two argued later and Rachel was about to leave. But Chloe asked her to stay, so Rachel asked why. I chose "something more..." cuz I feel like after all that it definitely was something more...but Rachel can't? Is it cuz of Frank? I thought. In LiS I found out that Frank was in a relationship with Rachel. I was so confused. Why go on this whole adventure and then say you can't at the end? What was the point of it all? I felt so bad for Chloe in this scene. I know what it's like to be ditched like that. I still wasn't upset with Rachel, I knew there was something happening behind the scenes.
Chloe started smashing everything in the junkyard. She was frustrated that Rachel left. *staring at mannequin* "You know she's fake yet you can't take your eyes off her. Who else do I know who fits that description?" "I've never understood your hard-on for cameras Max. You took a million pictures of us, and not one of them showed that you were gonna leave me when I needed you most." The writers conveyed the emotion really well. And I relate 100%, I always go to my room and start beating my pillow when I fuck up. The feeling of your gut tightening and your cheeks getting hotter and hotter, the sound of your internal monologue berating you with insults, while your senses of the outside world fade away as you fall into a deep trance of self-hatred. I feel her pain.
Now, for the second time, Don't Nod has made me cry. When Chloe took a step back and saw that she had beat her dad's car. Then in the midst of her regret, the anger sparks again and she continues to smash it, and then falls to the ground crying...fuck man. Holy shit. She probably feels it's equivalent to hitting William himself. I can imagine the guilt. Countless times I've gotten lost in rage and hurt loved ones. Countless nights I've spent lying in bed thinking over my actions, wishing I could just fucking re-wind. I wanted to go in there and give Chloe a hug. We both need it.
Back to the dream world in her dad's car. Except this time, I feel it really is William. His spirit. Giving his girl some words of advice. Not even death can break the bond between father and daughter. This bit was peaceful in a way. Yeah it ended with a burning Rachel and a truck crashing, but I strongly felt that really was William. Those words of encouragement can only come from a father. We all need a William in our lives.
Chloe woke up in the Junkyard. Imagine being Joyce in this scenario. Poor woman. I noticed a crow fly by. Same one that was in the dream. What does it mean?
Chloe and Rachel talked near a big tree. Same big tree that they caught two people kissing at. Turns out the man was her dad...I knew something was up. This is why it's important not to judge so quickly. I know a lot of people out there would be bitter towards Rachel if they were to be in Chloe's position. But we have to remember, behind every mistake is a fellow human being, with their own struggles and reasons behind why they fuck up. It's never black and white. I'm glad Chloe was wise enough to not wanna end the evening on a bad note. I'm glad she went looking for Rachel and comforted her. The conversation in this scene was beautiful. It's these moments that show who Chloe really is. A kind, loving soul.
The burning of the forest conveyed so much emotion. I said it once, and I'll say it again. These games are masterpieces, even the characters are masterpieces on their own. Anyway, they are in deep shit! Burnt down a whole forest! The whole time I just thought what is Joyce gonna do...
At the end there was a blond girl smoking...she seemed to not care about the fire. And I'm not entirely sure but it looked like she had the same tattoo that Chloe has in LiS. Wonder who that is. We'll see eventually.
At this point, I thought about the ending I chose for the other game. I wouldn't say I regret it, but the pain of the ending just gets stronger and stronger as I learn more about the person I sacrificed. I'm already so invested. What a vast range of emotions, and this is only episode 1!
Also, I do have one question, why is the loading screen an illuminati symbol? (Don't answer if it's a spoiler)

I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I can’t help it when I see people living the life I want.
I like to think that it was solely my mental health that put me in my place. I did poorly in school, and I was the quiet kid. I just didn’t do my homework. The way my dad would hit me when I made mistakes, with all the eraser marks and smudges. He said I made the paper look as ugly as me. Still I don’t fault him. I love him. He’s my dad and my hero. I can’t hurt him. He had to live a hard life. Harder than I’d ever know. He didn’t want me to live that way.
I’d always lie about not having homework. I could deal with the punishment at school. It wasn’t as painful as the punishment I’d get at home. Teachers either thought I was a misbehaving lazy asshole or just a really dumb kid. Other kids probably thought the same. I think I was just a shy and extremely anxious kid, though at the time I had never considered that I might have anxiety.
By the time I hit high school, my mental health got worse and an embarrassing medical condition added to that. I became so withdrawn. I isolated myself from my friends, failed classes, and became even more quiet.
There was this one time I was in a leadership class. We were each anonymously assigned a random person in the class and had to write 3 words to describe them. My description was quiet, quiet, and QUIET. Another time a girl told her friend that I’m mute.
Throughout high school, suicide was always on my mind. I’d go to sleep late every night thinking about it. What kept me from ever doing anything was thinking about what either of my grandmothers or my mom would think. The thought of my mom pleading with my still body to wake up broke my heart.
Needless to say, I did not do well in school and although I did do post secondary, I didn’t qualify to get accepted into a university.
I didn’t get my mental health checked out until 2019. I must have been 25/26. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, GAD, persistent depressive disorder and harm OCD. My parents were and are very supportive although they don’t have a great understanding of mental health.
I’m 30 now, but my school years still depress me. I wish I had done better. I wish I had friends. I wish I knew how to make friends and socialize. I wish I could have done something with my life.
I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. Writing it down really helped get all of these feelings out.
Social anxiety has had me in a headlock for so long now. This is one of the very few posts I’ve ever made on the internet lol. I’ve been on lurker mode since AOL.

In a mystical world where the air sparkled with magic, The Fool embarked on an extraordinary journey, guided by the whimsical energy of The Fool card. The Fool, a carefree wanderer, stood at the edge of a cliff, a small dog at their side, oblivious to the potential pitfalls below. It marked the beginning of an adventure, a blank canvas waiting to be painted with experiences. With innocence as their guide, The Fool ventured forth, stepping into the unknown with boundless curiosity.
The Magician awaited, a masterful sorcerer who revealed the secrets of manifestation. Through the Magician's guidance, The Fool learned to harness the elements, discovering the power to shape their destiny with intention and will. The journey continued as The Fool encountered the High Priestess, a mystical guardian of ancient wisdom. In the quiet sanctuary of her temple, The Fool delved into the depths of their subconscious, discovering the hidden realms that shaped their inner world.
The Empress, a nurturing force of nature, cradled The Fool in her bountiful arms. Amidst blossoming flowers and flowing rivers, The Fool learned to appreciate the cycles of life, understanding that growth and abundance spring from a harmonious connection with the earth. With the Emperor, a figure of authority and structure, The Fool gained insight into the importance of discipline and order. Together, they built the foundations of The Fool's aspirations, creating a stable framework for their dreams.
The Lovers entwined The Fool in the dance of relationships, urging them to seek balance and connection between heart and mind. Through choices and reflections, The Fool navigated the intricate dynamics of partnerships. The Chariot, a symbol of determination, guided The Fool through challenges with a triumphant spirit. The Fool learned to steer the course of their destiny, harnessing inner strength and willpower.
In the serene hermitage, The Fool encountered the Hermit, a wise sage bearing the lantern of introspection. Through moments of solitude, The Fool discovered the guiding light of their inner wisdom and the importance of self-reflection. Justice, with her scales of balance, weighed The Fool's actions and decisions. The Fool learned that fairness and ethical choices are the cornerstones of a life well-lived.
The Wheel of Fortune spun tales of destiny, reminding The Fool of life's ever-changing cycles. Through ups and downs, The Fool embraced the constant motion of the wheel, trusting in the rhythm of fate. Strength, symbolized by a gentle maiden taming a mighty lion, taught The Fool the power of inner courage and resilience. The Fool discovered that true strength lies in compassion and gentleness.
As The Fool approached the Hanged Man, suspended upside down, they learned the art of surrender and sacrifice. Through letting go, The Fool gained new perspectives and found enlightenment in unexpected places. The mysterious figure of Death marked a profound transformation in The Fool's journey. The old made way for the new, and The Fool embraced the inevitability of change and rebirth.
In the temperate waters of Temperance, The Fool discovered the delicate balance between opposing forces. The winged angel guided them to blend elements harmoniously, finding peace and equilibrium. The Devil unmasked illusions that bound The Fool, revealing the chains of materialism and earthly desires. Through this revelation, The Fool learned the importance of breaking free from self-imposed limitations.
The Tower, a symbol of upheaval, shook The Fool's world, dismantling false structures and beliefs. Amidst the chaos, The Fool found the potential for liberation and renewal. The enchanting Star illuminated The Fool's path with hope and inspiration. Guided by the celestial light, The Fool embraced a renewed sense of purpose and optimism.
In the moonlit shadows of the Moon card, The Fool delved into the realms of intuition and subconscious desires. The mystical journey continued, unveiling the mysteries hidden beneath the surface. With the radiant Sun, The Fool basked in the warmth of joy and vitality. The vibrant card symbolized a period of enlightenment and clarity, infusing The Fool's journey with optimism and positivity.
Judgment called for self-reflection and awakening, urging The Fool to rise from the past and embrace a higher calling. The Fool, reborn and enlightened, stood ready for a new chapter. Finally, The World card marked the completion of The Fool's Tarot odyssey. Encircled by a wreath of victory, The Fool danced in celebration, embodying a harmonious union with the cosmos.
And so, The Fool's journey through the Tarot deck unfolded, a tapestry woven with lessons, challenges, and the eternal cycle of life. As The Fool continued their wandering, each card became a stepping stone, guiding them through the intricate dance of existence, ready for the next adventure that awaited beyond the turn of the cards.
As The Fool danced through the pages of the Tarot, the Ace of Cups overflowed with the pure essence of love and emotional abundance, opening The Fool's heart to new possibilities. It marked the beginning of a profound emotional journey, where The Fool embraced the depths of their feelings and connected with the wellspring of love within.
The Two of Cups celebrated partnerships, whether romantic or platonic, as The Fool discovered the joy of shared connections. With the Three of Cups, The Fool reveled in joyful gatherings and celebrations, savoring the bonds formed with others. These cards encouraged The Fool to appreciate the richness of relationships and the importance of emotional connections in their journey.
As The Fool encountered the Four of Cups, a moment of reflection emerged. This card prompted The Fool to ponder their emotional landscape, encouraging them to consider new perspectives and opportunities. The Five of Cups, a gentle reminder of the inevitability of loss, offered solace in resilience and the healing power of time.
The journey continued as The Fool encountered the Six of Cups, a card that stirred a wave of nostalgia. In the simplicity and innocence of the past, The Fool found moments of warmth and cherished memories, adding depth to their emotional tapestry.
The Seven of Cups presented a myriad of choices, encouraging The Fool to be discerning amidst enticing possibilities. It marked a moment of introspection, where The Fool navigated through illusions and fantasies to uncover their true desires.
With the Eight of Cups, The Fool embarked on a journey of introspection and the willingness to let go of what no longer served them. This card symbolized a crucial step in their emotional growth, encouraging The Fool to embrace change and seek fulfillment.
The Nine of Cups, often called the "Wish Card," promised emotional fulfillment and the realization of heartfelt desires. The Fool found themselves surrounded by a sense of contentment and emotional satisfaction, a testament to the power of aligning one's wishes with the universe.
The journey through the Cups suit reached its culmination with the Ten of Cups. In this card, The Fool immersed themselves in the harmonious bliss of family and emotional fulfillment, completing a cycle of love and joy. It served as a reminder that true happiness can be found in the interconnectedness of our emotional bonds.
As The Fool transitioned into the Swords suit, the Page of Swords rekindled the flame of intellectual curiosity. The Fool eagerly embraced the pursuit of knowledge, opening themselves to new ideas and perspectives. The journey of the mind had begun.
The Knight of Swords rode in on waves of swift decision-making and assertiveness. The Fool learned to charge forth with clear communication and determination, cutting through the complexities of thought. The Queen of Swords embodied emotional intelligence and compassion, while the King of Swords ruled with a discerning mind and wisdom.
The Ace of Swords brought forth a new wave of mental clarity, cutting through confusion and paving the way for fresh insights. The Two of Swords urged The Fool to confront difficult decisions with a balanced mind, seeking equilibrium in the face of uncertainty. The Three of Swords acknowledged the pain of heartbreak, guiding The Fool through the process of healing and renewal.
The Four of Swords encouraged moments of rest and introspection, allowing for rejuvenation and renewal. The Five of Swords urged The Fool to navigate conflicts with discernment, choosing battles wisely. The Six of Swords hinted at a journey of transition and moving towards calmer waters, embracing change with a sense of optimism.
As The Fool delved into the Pentacles suit, the Page of Pentacles signaled a fresh start in practical matters and the pursuit of tangible achievements. The Fool's curiosity extended into the realm of earthly pursuits, grounding their aspirations in the material world.
The Knight of Pentacles encouraged a steadfast and methodical approach to responsibilities. The Fool learned the value of diligence and patience in the pursuit of their goals. The Queen of Pentacles emphasized the importance of nurturing oneself and others, recognizing the interconnectedness of well-being.
Guided by the King of Pentacles, The Fool delved into the art of financial mastery and the creation of a stable foundation for their endeavors. The Ace of Wands burst forth with fresh enthusiasm and creative energy, signaling a new beginning in the material realm.
The Two of Wands invited The Fool to explore new horizons and embrace opportunities with confidence. The Three of Wands urged them to take a proactive stance in shaping their destiny, embracing the potential for expansion and growth.
The Four of Wands beckoned The Fool to celebrate achievements and milestones, fostering a sense of community and joy. The Five of Wands reminded them of the value in healthy competition, where diverse perspectives could lead to growth and understanding.
With the Six of Wands, The Fool found themselves basking in the glow of recognition and success, acknowledging the power of perseverance and determination. The Seven of Wands challenged them to stand their ground in the face of adversity, while the Eight of Wands propelled them forward with swift momentum, embracing the energy of change and transformation.
The Nine of Wands highlighted resilience and the strength to overcome challenges. The Fool learned to navigate through obstacles with unwavering determination. The Ten of Wands cautioned against carrying burdens that hindered progress, urging The Fool to release unnecessary weight and embrace a lighter path.
As The Fool revisited the realm of Cups, the Page of Cups infused them with fresh inspiration, signaling the start of a new emotional venture. The Knight of Cups rode in on waves of romance and artistic pursuits, urging The Fool to follow their heart's desires with courage and passion.
The Queen of Cups embodied emotional intelligence and compassion, while the King of Cups ruled with emotional stability and wisdom. The journey continued, each card revealing new facets of wisdom and experience, weaving a tapestry that echoed the cyclical nature of life and the eternal dance of the Tarot. And so, The Fool eagerly anticipated the next turn of the cards, ready for the mysteries and magic that awaited in the unfolding chapters of their Tarot journey.

I (18f) was dating someone (18nb) about 2 years ago. At the time we were both 16. They were born female. Which I wouldn't mention if it wasn't important. Our relationship was amazing and I genuinely loved them. We talked constantly about our future. They even wanted to do a co-pregnancy, which I always wanted to do. I've always been scared of the thought of pregnancy so this was perfect. We never argued and they were even okay with an open relationship. We were staying at eachothers house every weekend. We even clicked with eachothers family. They were everything I could ask for in a partner and I genuinely loved them.
The only problem I ever had with them was regarding sex. At this point I was a virgin and I never really had the need to have sex. I'm hypersexual and I fawn over fictional men all the time but I've never had a big internet in sex. I only asked for a open relationship for two main reasons. 1) I know that I'd enjoy casual sex with men and I know I wouldn't fall in love with them because I never have. 2) I wasn't sure how I'd feel about sex with someone who has a vagina so I wanted them to feel okay seeking that with someone else.
It was very early on in the relationship, 1-2 weeks, that they asked to have sex for the first time. I expressed that I wasn't sure if I was ready. I kind of avoided telling the full truth cause I wasn't sure how they'd react if I said I didn't know if I ever want to try sex because they had a vagina. Dont get me wrong, I would try it but I just wasn't ready then. I even set the boundaries that I was holding off till I was 18.
It wasn't long before they asked me again and of course my answer was no. They asked why and I decided to be honest. I told them that I didn't think I would enjoy it and I didn't even know what to do when it came to pleasing someone who had a vagina. They started to cry and they somehow took that as I thought vaginas were ugly. I reassured them that that's not what I meant and I was still open to sex in the future.
There were multiple occasions after that where they'd ask again and again even after I said I wanted to wait till I was 18. I even changed that and said I at least wanted to wait till I was 17 in hopes they'd stop.
The final straw for me was we were at their house and they asked why I didn't want to have sex. I explained to them again, but I was getting frustrated to the point I shutdown and didn't want to talk about it anymore. They ended up shutting the TV off and we just went to bed.
At some point I felt our relationship slip. I don't know if it was the fact that they had turned 17 and my 17th was coming up in a few months or my severe commitment issues. It was probably a mix of both honestly. I decided to break it off with them. I did it over text, which I would change if I could. I had left them on read at some point, just trying to find the words and by the time I was ready to respond they had blown up on me. They were angry that I had talked about our future and kids and "was all of that just bullshit?". They were understandably angry but they had blocked me on everything and I couldn't respond.
There's more that is important and a lot regarding to why I'm bringing this up even now that I'm 18.
We literally never talked after I broke up with them. We'd pass eachothers but we'd never look at each other let alone say anything. We had mutual friends but it seemed like there was a mutual agreement for them to not talk to me and me not talk to them.
I had vented after the fact to a friend of mine (we'll call Koop) about the whole thing and why I did it. At this point I trusted Koop and had no reason not to, I'd know them for awhile. Like the next day Koop tells me that they were talking to people about what was happening with me and my Ex and some of my Ex's friends were there. Koop had made it sound like I was saying that my Ex tried to SA me and the friends had told them that. Koop was scared my Ex would try and fight them and wanted me to protect them. I agreed and now I wished I hadn't cause they had broken my trust. I realize how trashy it was now and I barely talk to Koop anymore. With all that I didn't even know how to go up to my Ex. I wanted to apologize and I wanted to explain but how did I even do that with them thinking I was spreading such a horrible rumor about them.
Jump to present day. I still haven't talked to them. Infact I go to an alt school in my town because my grades were bad and I needed the extra help. So I haven't been in the main school much. Well graduation is coming up and I don't want them to hate me. Even if we never talk again I just wanna explain. Truthfully, I still love them. Now, I've had sex with vagina and I did enjoy it. Maybe it's weird to still love them after over a year of no contact but I genuinely still love them. Graduation is coming up and we have a practice graduation before the real one. I have some bleach of theirs and was thinking of using it as a reason to go up to them during it. Then, maybe, give them flowers at the real graduation. I just don't know. Am I the asshole for breaking up with them like that? Should I leave it alone? I genuinely wanna try but I don't know If it's okay. Please help me.

She was from a different branch, yet luck brought us together when she came to visit a friend in my class. I was attracted by her beauty and frequently admired her from afar. I felt attracted from the moment I locked eyes on her in the crowded class. She, with her shape enhanced by those fitted jeans that seemed hugging her hips just right, became a catalyst for my thoughts. It sounds laughable, but it was her back that originally drew my attention, and her presence continued in my thoughts long after she went away from there. Our story actually began in the virtual world. As we became involved in numerous WhatsApp group conversations, our sense of humor sparked a friendship. We got along well, taunting one other and exchanging memes until late at night. However, it was always her enjoyable teasing that made my heart flutter. I couldn't help but admit that I'd been attracted with her since our first meeting, unable to resist the attractiveness of her body and the seductive posture. To my surprise, She took my confession in easy, admiring my openness and fun personality. She teased me back, acknowledging her effect on me with a teasing gesture or a sarcastic reply. It felt like an exchange of words and feelings, with every gesture bringing us closer but leaving me wanting more. Even as she traveled to the United States for her student exchange program, our bond remained strong. We discussed our dreams, worries, and goals, but there was always some sort of tension - my unsaid feelings for her, which remained like a shadow. As she hinted at her dream of settling in the United States, my heart squeezed as I realized our paths might separate. However, I couldn't bring myself to disclose the seriousness of my feelings, fearing rejection and the end of the connection we had. Now, as we continue to talk I am caught in a painful reality. While I scream my heart out to her, expressing my love with every gesture, she maintains her playful manner. She taunts me about the attractive boys she meets, indicating a future that does not include me in the way I long for. Despite the sadness in my heart, I send a laughing emoji, hiding it with a mask of humor. But deep down, I'm broken between holding out hope for something greater and accepting the reality of our friendship. So, dear reader, I ask you: What should I do? Should I continue to get for her. Or should I have the courage to let go ?

I'm sorry if this is worded weirdly or formatted wrong. I'm quickly making this on mobile.
I 18(ftm) and my boyfriend (20m) have been in a gay relationship for a little over 4 years now. my boyfriend isn't really the problem for me here.. it's his parents. both of his parents (especially his father) are extremely insistent on calling me she/hea girl and it's been bothering me for quite some time now. The main reason is because they actually have a transgender daughter themselves. she is no contact with them (they are just kinda shitty parents in general, so i don't blame her) but she is still treated with respect and correctly gendered in their family/household.
I have been socially transitioning since around age 13-14. at age 14 when my boyfriend and i started dating i wasnt really out yet. (he knew, but kept it mainly private for me) and so called me she/her to his parents for the first week of dating. this made me extremely uncomfortable and made me realize that i couldn't stand by and watch myself be someone I'm not. so i told him to fully tell them that i am a boy, and that we're gay. i tried to "ease into it" with his parents by mainly using they/them (i use both he/him and they/them) but that very much backfired because his father was one of those people that couldn't understand how "they" is used singularly.. he refused to call me that so kept going back to she/her. so i was like "just he/him is fine too!" and you'd think that would be the end of it right? yeah, no.
they only knew me as she/her at the first week (maybe 2) of BF and i dating. it has now been 4 years of me consistently being out as trans and constant corrections... but there is still no change. i don't understand why i am so different from their daughter. they are so insistent on my bf dating a girl, that they have just refused to even attempt to try and get a relationship with me. i am unfamiliar with them and they do not want to get to know me. his dad ALWAYS misgenders me. consistently. (most likely on purpose..) and then throws a tantrum when confronted by my bf. giving excuses and excuses as to why or how he still does it. (he blames dementia, which he does not have. he is in his 40s and a very stubborn man.) His mother uses they/them on me, and still calls me she/her 50% of the time (she at least apologizes, but it still happens way too often.)
i just cant fathom how it could be so difficult. they only knew me as a "girl" for the first week of us dating, BF has been out as queer since childhood, they knew he'd probably end up dating a guy, but can't let go of the thought of him dating a girl. it's now been (a little over) 4 years and i don't really think i can take it anymore. it feels like BF has also kind of given up on correcting them, because last time his father did (last week, he said she/her confidently 6 times in the same sentence) he just let him do it right in my face. then when i confronted him his reasoning was that he "already tried once 5 minutes ago" and therefore didn't see a reason to try again. I don't understand why i cannot be seen as a man to them. i feel it isn't because they're bigoted, but just because they dont like ME or see ME as a guy. i present pretty feminine (i am a pretty "stereotypical" gay guy, but so is my BF) so i tried to give them the benefit of the doubt the first 1-2 years.. but it's genuinely just getting so exhausting.
no matter how much i do for them and no matter how much i try to get on their good side, i am treated like a stranger that matters less than the dirt on their boots. it's gotten to the point that for the last year or so, I've been on-and-off rethinking our relationship. i just genuinely don't think I'll ever be accepted by them, and it hurts me so much. is there anything and i mean ANYTHING i can do to make them stop? to get them to like and respect me as my BFs partner? I'm also (most likely) autistic. i am getting that tested now and hope to have results in the next year or so. i just want us to be happy, and genuinely the only way i can see that happening is if i just pretended to be a cis girl. I'm sorry for the very long rant, i just need help. thank you for reading.

So while I was working for one company (let’s call it company A), I was reached out by my previous former company (let’s call it company B).
My old Company B asks if I want a managerial role if I come back to work for them, so I talk to 3 separate managers from 3 different locations of that same company and they all said they would guide me and help fast track me onto that role because they knew of a manager that was leaving soon so I would be the one to help fill that role. I let company A know that I’ll be taking company B up on that offer but they counter offer me with a managerial role of their own to try to get me to stay.
Fast forward a month later, Ive take company B’s offer and am getting trained for the role, but this past weekend apparently that manager who was going to leave soon just up and left suddenly without any word or two weeks notice.
Corporate then instantly filled that role with someone else, cause they needed a manager at that location. That spot was literally promised to me by 3 managers, and I literally quit my other job because of it! Although it wasn’t technically in writing I had meetings with them and literal text from them about my position. We talked about my needs and what kind of pay I was looking for as well and they all literally agreed. Now since the position is filled I’m **** out of luck apparently and my only option is to stay in this lower sales position until somebody of management basically quits. And that could take months and months. In this economy I can’t just hold out on false hope, they already broke their trust with me.
How should I ask to go back to company A?? I now would like to accept that counteroffer they made for me before I quit. It was such a good opportunity for me and now I’m punching myself in the face for it. Should I tell them that I realized going back to my old job was the wrong choice? Or should I tell them that company B essentially lied to me about my position and screwed me this past month?
I know I’m going to have to put my ego aside and ask to go back, but I’m just wondering how I should approach them when asking for my position back.

No one truly knows me. The me who relies on daily drinks to cope. The me who harbors unspoken love for a girl, because he's never been able to open up to anyone. Unable to express true feelings due to a lifetime of being ignored. The me haunted by self-doubt.
I've been quiet lately, not because I've given up, but ecause life's moving too fast to keep up. Thing's are good, but that only leaves me fearful. I've grown accustomed to expect only the worst and so that's what I'm waiting for.
Hope flickers anew. The dreams I've chased seem tangible now. You've witnessed 149 days, but not the 6,205 before.
They said I was destined to write, mature beyond my years, gifted, yet I never fit the mold. I floated along, never truly belonging.
But here, with all of you, I've found my place. To the 8-11 individuals who consistently support my words, thank you for hearing me. I hope I've made you feel seen in return.
We are the .000000001%, but I'm rn I'm .08% 🍻🥂 🍷 🍸whatever... I'll drink anything.
Don't give up.

So, I have never made a post like this and I have considered it for a while, but here goes. Keep in mind, this will be a little scattered and I’m sorry in advance if it’s hard to follow. My sister, 29F, has been struggling a lot lately so I thought I’d post here to seek some outsider advice on her situation.
So, my sister, Amy, 29F, got married in July of last year to her husband. We’ll call him Sam. Sam is 25M. To give some context, my sister and Sam have been together for quite a while, and Sam has always treated Amy with respect and kindness; Something she really needed after everything she’d been through. We didn’t have the best childhood, she left when she was 16 to live with her bio dad, we’ll call him Tim. He comes into play later. So, a lot happened in those few years which made her become extremely depressed and distant. I understood. It was a tough time. Sam really came into the picture when she needed him. Their relationship was great from what I knew and saw and she seemed much happier. She started coming around more and even introduced him to the family. Let me point out, for context sake. I love my sister and the last few months she has been trying really hard, but she hasn’t always had the most drive or motivation to accomplish tasks, go to school, or think through hard decisions. She tends to make irrational choices, let the house become a mess, and other typical things that attribute to chronic depression. I can’t blame her. So for her to introduce someone to the family and start talking to everyone again, is kind of a big deal. She’s is gothy antisocial, but outspoken if that makes sense. This is where Tim, her father, and Mary, our mother, come into play. Tim, in my eyes, has always been a kind person. He never has a mean thing to say to me, and never has. However, the history between him and Mary is not pretty, but that’s a whole other story. Of course we all grow up hearing one sided stories. Tim has always been known to us as lazy, abusive, and a compulsive liar. I hate to say it, but it hasn’t been proven false yet. Of course our mom wasn’t a saint either, she had her demons. She was also chronically depressed and suppressing her emotions by working constantly. She was a nurse and anyone in that field can understand when I say she was gone almost every hour of the day and when she was home, she slept. This really contributed to the depression my sister faced and still faces today. She can’t seem to break free of the past and it’s honestly not all her fault. Trauma fucking sucks. So, in August of 2020, before Sam and Amy got married, our mom, Mary, got diagnosed with Stage 4 Brain Cancer. I was there almost every day. I fed her, washed her, took her to the bathroom, hospital visits, even became her power of attorney at her wish. Amy was aware of everything and so was Sam, but they didn’t come around.. hardly ever. This becomes relevant later. So, fast forward to January 2024. Sam’s mom, we’ll call her Christy, needs a place to stay. Christy is in her 50’s if I’m not mistaken, and she’s a heavy stoner, couch drifter, conspiracy theory type. No hate, I love a good blunt and some conspiracy theories. But Christy is lazy and a phrase I like to call a dependapotamus. In other words, she’s a leech. She moved in to my sister and her husbands place, which is a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom tiny little apartment under the condition that it was only a few weeks TOPS. My sister has 2 cats and so much stuff you can barely move around. She has been working on getting it cleaned up, but taking it a little a time per my advice so she doesn’t become overwhelmed or defeated. So, Christy stated when she moved in that it was only for a few weeks until her house at the Valley, her family land, is going to be done.
She’s been there since January and the recent update from Christy is this: “I’m thinking about moving my mattress in and I’ve been saving to pay your rent.” Okay. So, if you don’t see the issue with this, let me explain. Sam and Amy got married in July, our mom died in June (wedding was already pre-scheduled, it was a beautiful and touching ceremony), and she moved in in July. They’ve been married less than a year, Amy has barely been able to grieve as she is in college and works full time, and doesn’t have the house to just her and her husband. She has expressed constant grief to me about Christy and she seems to be at her breaking point. She has talked to Sam and Christy multiple times about her plans and it’s always brushed off with, “Oh well, just waiting on them to finish up at the Valley.” Or Sam telling Amy that she is overreacting and he is going to support his mom either way. Okay, valid. Let me also state that Christy has made comments like, “You can never take care of my baby like I can.” Or “You don’t know how to take care of your house.” Or comments like “My baby boy only.” Or doing things like buying ounces of weed then swaying she has no money for her new place to be finished. Or smoking “on the porch,” but keeping the door open and blowing the smoke directly into the apartment. Let me point out she does clean up after herself, but that’s about it. I understand Sam’s perspective as my fiancé said it would be very difficult to put a man in this position, but he should be taking up for his wife. Which I agreed. There’s a line and to me it seems like Christy has crossed it. Amy isn’t comfortable in her own home and doesn’t feel supported by her husband. She’s my sister so, of course, I’m going to be slightly biased but I really am trying to see both sides and offer solutions to her. I don’t want to see them divorce over this and I don’t want this to damper my sister’s progress. She’s doing amazing. About to enroll full time in the university I just graduated from last May. I really want the best for her, but her husband doesn’t want to work, but would rather sit at home and play video games and hang out with his mom. He isn’t supporting her, and overall in my opinion doesn’t seem to be elevating her in any way.
I’m so sorry for the book, I’m even positive I’m missing quite a bit, but I would love some advice on this situation. Maybe some comments will help her. And I ask that you please don’t comment divorce unless you have something constructive to say. She doesn’t want that and she’s made that clear to me. Thank you all in advance! God Bless. -CurlyGiraffe

I've been pondering something lately and figured I'd throw it out here to see if anyone has the inside scoop. So, what's the deal with Belle Vue's nickname? I recently moved to the area and keep hearing people refer to it by some sort of moniker, but nobody seems to agree on what it actually is. Some say it's "The Village," others swear it's "Belle Town," and I even heard someone call it "The Haven."
I'm genuinely curious to know if there's an official nickname or if it's just a case of everyone having their own favorite term. It's funny how these things can vary from person to person, neighborhood to neighborhood. Plus, knowing the history or the story behind the nickname would be pretty cool too, if there is one.
So, folks, what's the word on the street? Do you have any insights or insider info on Belle Vue's nickname? Let's crack this case together!

When we think of Dubai, we picture tall skyscrapers, vast deserts, and exciting shopping opportunities. This city in the United Arab Emirates combines traditional elements with modern advancements, catering to a diverse range of interests. Indian travelers can choose from a variety of Dubai Tour Packages from India designed for ideal Dubai vacation.
A City Built for Exploration
The impressive skyline of Dubai is highlighted by the Burj Khalifa, which holds the title of the world's tallest building. Take an elevator ride up to the observation deck for stunning panoramic views of the city extending all the way to the Arabian Sea. Another must-see architectural wonder is the luxurious Burj Al Arab hotel, designed to resemble a sailboat.
A Shopper's Paradise
The Dubai Mall is a shopper's dream, being one of the biggest shopping centers globally. Get lost in a maze of top-of-the-line designer shops, popular high-street brands, and charming local boutiques. Don't miss the gold souk, a traditional market where you can negotiate for stunning gold jewelry.
Beyond the Glitz: A Glimpse into Tradition
Dubai combines modernity with a strong connection to its heritage. Stroll through the Al Fahidi Historical District to admire the wind towers and traditional houses. Stop by the Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding to engage in conversations with locals and gain insight into Emirati culture and traditions.
Embrace the Thrill Seeker Within
In Dubai, there are also exciting activities for adventure lovers. You can enjoy the excitement of a desert safari, driving through sand dunes in a 4x4 vehicle and having a traditional barbecue under the twinkling stars. For a thrilling experience, you can also go skydiving over the Palm Jumeirah, a luxurious resort area made up of man-made islands.
Cool Off and Relax
Looking to cool off from the scorching desert sun in Dubai? Head to one of the city's fantastic water parks. Wild Wadi Water Park, located at Jumeirah Beach Hotel, is packed with exciting slides and wave pools to keep you entertained. Meanwhile, Aquaventure at Atlantis The Palm is home to the adrenaline-pumping Leap of Faith slide. If you prefer a more peaceful setting, unwind on the beautiful beaches of Jumeirah Beach or Kite Beach, where you can bask in the sun and take in the breathtaking views.
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Dubai is a city that brings together various cultures, with individuals from around the globe making it their residence. Deira, a lively district, showcases this diverse community. Wander through the spice souk, where the scent of unique spices fills the air, and get lost in the winding alleys. Immerse yourself in the history of the city by visiting the Al Shindagha Museum.
Step into the Future
Dubai is always pushing boundaries. Be amazed by the engineering wonder of the Palm Jumeirah, a testament to human creativity. Discover the futuristic Museum of the Future, a stunning architectural masterpiece that highlights the latest technologies and innovations.
Planning Your Dubai Adventure
Dubai is most enjoyable to visit during the months of November through April, as the climate tends to be more agreeable. Visas are easily obtainable for the majority of nationalities. There is a diverse selection of accommodations in Dubai, ranging from lavish five-star hotels to more affordable guesthouses.
Crafting Your Dream Dubai Experience
Are you a luxury traveler looking for a glamorous getaway, a family in search of a fun-filled adventure, or a culture enthusiast wanting to explore ancient traditions? Dubai has something for everyone.
While Yashvi Tours And Travels specializes in crafting customized tour packages in Gandhinagar, we can also assist you with your travel needs beyond tours. In addition to our expertise in creating unforgettable experiences in Gandhinagar, we also air ticket agents in gandhinagar, facilitating both international package booking in gandhinagar and domestic package booking in gandhinagar . So, whether you're looking for a complete Dubai itinerary with flights or just a domestic flight for a quick getaway, Yashvi Tours And Travels can help!Articlesource:https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/dubai-from-desert-jewel-ultra-modern-ee2of/?trackingId=VeeF%2BMPbTESw3wv8Ryxodw%3D%3D
Dubai: From Desert Jewel to Ultra Modern Metropolis

Russia has made a gift to Turkey. It withdrew its peacekeeping contingent from Nagorno-Karabakh (internationally recognized territory of Azerbaijan, which for three decades was under the control of Armenia with the assistance of Russia) a year before their deployment officially ends (according to the tripartite international agreement). Of course, Moscow was already obliged to withdraw its peacekeepers from Karabakh in 2025. Their early withdrawal is a great symbolic act in favor of Ankara and Baku (which have long been guided by the principle of “One people - two states”).
Now the President of the Republic of Turkey Erdoğan (who is planning to make an official visit to the USA on May 9) can confidently talk in Washington about his huge influence on the South Caucasus region and on Putin's Russia (which is true to some extent). This position, in turn, will give the “Turkish Sultan” the right to ask the current US leader for something (apparently, in exchange for the promised pressure from Ankara on Moscow). It is likely that the President of TR would ask his American colleague to sell him modernized F-16/18 aircraft, the latest F-35, as well as other modern weapon and military equipment (the USA excluded Turkey from the F-35 production program after the purchase of two units of Russian Triumph S-400 air defense systems). Also, Ankara and Washington are likely to discuss the restoration of trade and economic ties between Turkey and Azerbaijan with Armenia. In particular, the provision of a stable transport (Zangezur) corridor between the main territory of Azerbaijan, its Nakhchivan Autonomus Republic and Turkey is a very important issue for Baku and Ankara. Erdoğan and Biden will certainly discuss Russia and Putin.
In this context, it is obvious that the “Turkish Sultan” continues to try to sit on two chairs. Ankara blocked Sweden's entry into NATO for as long as possible, in Moscow’s favor. In addition, Erdoğan constantly initiates mediation and peacemaking activities related to the war in Eastern Europe, which, de facto, play into the hands of expansionist Russia. In addition, during the last two years, Turkey got colossal profits and benefits from active trade and economic cooperation with the Russian Federation and its rejection to join Western sanctions against the Russian dictatorship and its external aggression.
For example, in March of this year Turkey reached its historical maximum in purchasing of Russian oil - 12 million barrels of Urals oil (the three largest buyers of Russian oil are India, Turkey and China, accordingly). It is clear that the TR purchases such large volumes of Urals oil not for its own needs, but for further profitable resale. As for sanctions against the Russian Federation, Washington regularly submits reports to Ankara with a list of all Turkish institutions, banks and businesses that help Russia circumvent sanctions. The US State Department asks the Republic of Turkey, as its partner, NATO member and the EU candidate country, to take measures against these Turkish institutions and companies. It is not difficult to guess Ankara’s real intentions on it.
In any case, it is not good for the “Turkish Sultan” to serve two masters. Therefore, we can assume that the West will intensify the pressure on Ankara to get it on its side and, accordingly, distancing itself from the totalitarian Russian neo-empire. As to relations between the Republic of Turkey and the United States, Erdoğan is cold towards the current president and surprisingly well with Trump. So, given the complexity of the current election campaign in the USA, the “Turkish Sultan” hopes for the victory of the Republican candidate. It is clear that Trump's victory will seriously affect Turkey's relations with the West in general and the United States in particular.

Reader's Note: Feel free to read this in any order that suits you. Start from the introduction, the conclusion, or jump to any section you're interested in. Also, if you are going make a counter argument, please read the entire document as I may have already addressed or talked about your argument. Also, I may address a counter argument before or after you read the "Counterarguments" section. When I was writing this I was just sort of taking notes as I went and not organizing anything since I didn't think about sharing it with anyone. I only somewhat organized this and did so pretty quickly so don't expect this to be super well organized. I could have elaborated more, used different analogies, etc.

Intro

The Bible contains many references to slavery, which was a common practice in antiquity. Biblical texts outline sources and the legal status of slaves, economic roles of slavery, types of slavery, and debt slavery, which thoroughly explain the institution of slavery in Israel in antiquity.

Examples of Bible verses talking about slavery

I will use these 6 verses repeatedly in multiple examples:

• Leviticus 25:44–46: 44 "However, you may purchase male and female slaves from among the nations around you. 45 You may also purchase the children of temporary residents who live among you, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, 46 passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat them as slaves, but you must never treat your fellow Israelites this way."
  Context: This passage is part of the laws given to the Israelites regarding the Year of Jubilee which was a time of rest and release for the land and its people every fifty years. It specifies the conditions in which Israelites could own slaves and distinguishes between fellow Israelites and non-Israelites. Literal and legal.
  
• Exodus 21:2–6: 2 "If you buy a Hebrew slave, he may serve for no more than six years. Set him free in the seventh year, and he will owe you nothing for his freedom. 3 If he was single when he became your slave, he shall leave single. But if he was married before he became a slave, then his wife."
  Context: These verses are part of a larger set of laws given shortly after the Ten Commandments, focusing on the rights and treatment of Hebrew slaves. It details the procedure for releasing a Hebrew slave after six years of service. Literal and legal.
  
• Luke 12:47–48: 47 "And a servant who knows what the master wants, but isn't prepared and doesn't carry out those instructions, will be severely punished. 48 But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.
  Context: This passage is from a parable spoken by Jesus, emphasizing the importance of being ready and faithful in service to God. It uses the analogy of a servant and master to illustrate accountability and the consequences of knowing versus not knowing the master's will. Metaphorical and spiritual.
  
• 1 Timothy 6:1–2: 1 All slaves should show full respect for their masters so they will not bring shame on the name of God and his teaching. 2 If the masters are believers, that is no excuse for being disrespectful. Those slaves should work all the harder because their efforts are helping other believers who are well loved.
  Context: These instructions are given by Paul in a letter to Timothy, guiding how Christians including those who are slaves should conduct themselves to uphold the teachings of Christianity. Literal, with a spiritual application.
  
• Ephesians 6:5: "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ."
  Context: Part of Paul's letter to the Ephesians, this verse is included in a section that gives household codes for Christians, addressing relationships between husbands and wives, children and parents, and slaves and masters. Literal, with a spiritual application.
  
• Exodus 21:20–21: 20 When a man strikes his slave, male or female, with a rod and the slave dies under his hand, he shall be avenged. 21 But if the slave survives a day or two, he is not to be avenged, for the slave is his money.
  Context: This is also part of the Mosaic Law, given by God to Moses to relay to the Israelites regarding the treatment of slaves. It specifically talks about the consequences for a master who physically harms a slave distinguishing between outcomes that lead to the slave's death versus survival. Literal and legal.
  

Questions:

• What is slavery?
  Slavery is "The ownership of a person as property, especially in regards to their labor." Slavery typically involves compulsory work with the slave's location of work and residence dictated by the party that holds them in bondage. For most of human history slavery has been a feature of civilization and legal in most societies. Historically, enslavement could happen as a result of breaking the law, becoming indebted, suffering a military defeat, or exploitation for cheaper labor; other forms of slavery were instituted along demographic lines such as race and sex.
  Types of slavery:
  
  • Bondage/ Debt Slavery: When a person is forced to work to pay off a debt. They may be kept in enslavement for life or until debt is paid.
  • Voluntary Slavery: When a person voluntarily enters into slavery to pay a debt or earn money due to poverty.
  • Forced Labor: When a person is made to work against their will, often under the threat of violence or punishment.
  • Marriage slavery: People are forced into marriage against their will.
  • Blood slavery: Being born into slavery.
• What specific types of slavery are talked about in the bible?
  Both forced labor "However, you may purchase male and female slaves from among the nations around you. 45 You may also purchase the children of temporary residents who live among you, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property," and debt slavery "If you buy a Hebrew slave, he may serve for no more than six years. Set him free in the seventh year, and he will owe you nothing for his freedom" were mainly talked about and acceptable in the Bible. Blood slavery was also allowed "You may also purchase the children of temporary residents who live among you, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property."
  
• Does the Bible support modern slavery?
  Passages like Ephesians 6:5 which say "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ." And Exodus 21:20–21 which say "When a man strikes his slave, male or female, with a rod and the slave dies under his hand, he shall be avenged. 21 But if the slave survives a day or two, he is not to be avenged, for the slave is his money." Phrases like "for the slave is his money" and "just as you would obey Christ" are reminiscent of the obedience expected and punishments given in 19th century/modern slavery. I can't find any moral rationale for passages such as Exodus 21:20-21, which allow beating a person nearly to death without consequence, as long as the victim survives a couple of days. This is justified on the grounds that "the slave is his money," treating human beings merely as property (Similar to 19th century slavery). Also as I said earlier, this passage is part of the Mosaic Law, given by God to Moses to relay to the Israelites. This passage a literal statement within the context of Mosaic Law. It provides specific legal regulations for the Israelites and is not presented as an analogy, spiritual, or metaphorical message.
  
• Does the Bible ever condemn slavery?
  There is no passage anywhere in the Bible which outright condemns slavery/Say something similar to "Thou shalt not kill". Yet, it does outright condemn things like murder, theft, etc. It only talks about what to do if you do have slaves but doesn't say it's wrong. This is a direct contradiction with Christian principles advocated for in the Bible such as:
  
  • Matthew 22:39 - "And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" How can you love your neighbor when you can beat them to near death and own them as property?
  • James 2:8-9 - "If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers." This passage talks about the sinfulness of treating people unequally, which is obviously contradictory to the hierarchical relationship inherent in slavery.

Bible verses which seemingly condemn slavery

While the Bible doesn't outright say slavery was bad, some may think it implies it because of verses like:

• Leviticus 22:11: "But if a priest buys a slave with money, or if slaves are born in his household, they may eat his food." "buys." Why is this allowed when it goes against Christian principles? Verses like Galatians 3:28 clearly don't allow this.
  
• Job 31:13-15: "If I have denied justice to any of my servants, whether male or female, when they had a grievance against me, 14 what will I do when God confronts me? What will I answer when called to account? 15 Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?" "denied justice" could literally just mean something like going too far in the beating of a slave/servant Exodus 21:20–21 Its not specified what this "denied justice" is referring to.
  
• Deuteronomy 24:14-15: "Do not take advantage of a hired worker who is poor and needy, whether that worker is a fellow Israelite or a foreigner residing in one of your towns. Pay them their wages each day before sunset, because they are poor and are counting on it. Otherwise they may cry to the LORD against you, and you will be guilty of sin." Its not clear if this refers to you simply reaching out to someone and actually hiring (Meaning you don't own them since I wouldn't consider someone who owns a slave as having "Hired" them. Hired usually implies you don't own them as property. It could just mean that they work for you because they are poor (If this is the case this is no condemnation of slavery since it would mean they aren't a slave) However, if this is talking about voluntary slavery for example because they need money (I guess sure, here we can say they were "hired"), then all it means is you must pay the slave. It doesn't specify if you can hit the slave or how you can treat them during the duration of the slavery (using other verses - Exodus 21:20–21 we can assume you could probably beat the slave).
  
• Malachi 3:5: "So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me," says the LORD Almighty. "defraud laborers of their wages" What I said about Deuteronomy 24:14-15 applies here as well. Only talking about paying a slave. This also obviously only applies to slaves who even get paid to begin with.
  
• Exodus 21:16 - "He who kidnaps a man and sells him, or if he is found in his hand, shall surely be put to death." This has nothing to do with slavery since its talking about kidnaping. Although "or if he is found in his hand" could mean being a slave. The problem is that its only seen as bad because the slave was kidnapped not because they are a literal slave that can be treated as property.
  
• Galatians 3:28: "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Some may say this verse is a direct condemnation of slavery since it mentions unity and equality among all believers in Christ, regardless of their social status or identity. However, it does not explicitly prohibit slavery. Because of the use of the phrase "For you are all one in Christ" I think its more reasonable to assume this only refers to spiritual equality since it never directly addresses or outlaws the physical practice of slavery. This is even more notable when compared with other explicit biblical commandments, such as "Thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13 and Deuteronomy 5:17), which clearly forbid certain actions. The fact that there is no unequivocal commandment against slavery in a book which is meant to tell you what's right and wrong says a lot. Mix this in with explicit instructions found in other verses on the treatment of slaves and the absence of a direct prohibition against the practice of slavery, it is obvious that the Bible permits slavery within its social and legal frameworks. Slavery was common back then however the problem is that bible accepts that and never condemns it. It would be like if murder was wide spread so the bible never condemned it and told you how to commit it.
  

Counterarguments

• Slavery was different back then
  No it wasn't. This is clearly evident by the way slaves were talked about. When the Bible says things like "for the slave is his money" "severely punished" (Remember, Exodus 21:20–21 allows beating a person nearly to death without consequence, as long as the victim survives a couple of days.) "just as you would obey Christ" it sounds a lot like the obedience expected and punishments given in 19th century/modern slavery. When you hear things like this its clear slavery in the Bible was very similar to 19th century slavery in which humans beings were treated as merely property just with some extra restrictions.
  
• Even if the bible doesn't condemn slavery it doesn't mean it supports it
  Imagine if the Bible never told you murder was bad and in fact told you how to participate in it. "You may only stab the legs and arms, never the heart." Its the exact same with slavery. By not condemning it and instead offering instructions on participation, it essentially amounts to support. Or else I don't know why it talks so much about buying, owning, and beating slaves.
  
• The use of "bondsmen" in the literal language is not a slave.
  In Hebrew, the original language of the Old Testament, the word for "slave" initially meant "Bondsmen". The term 'ebhedh,' commonly found in the Old Testament, translates to "the ordinary slave," whether foreign (e.g., Genesis 43:18; 44:9,33; Leviticus 25:44,46) or Hebrew (e.g., Leviticus 25:42; 2 Kings 4:1). Its like calling a car an "Automobile." Different word same meaning. Also, some people say this means debt slaves. However even if they were debt slaves, they were still slaves and could be treated as such. I don't see how being a debt slave makes anything better. For servant which is "a person who performs duties for others, especially a person employed in a house on domestic duties" it could indeed refer to something other the slavery. However judging off the contexts in which this word is often used, its usually indicative of actual slavery (for example replace the word "slave" with servant here Leviticus 25:44–46).
  
• Being a debt slave is better then being poor
  This is offering a horrible alternative for another horrible alternative. In fact, being poor may have been better. Debt slavery removes your control over your own life. You're forced to work to pay off the debt, probably under harsh conditions and with little to no control over your work. That's like if I saved someone from burning alive (poverty) by drowning them (Debt slavery).
  
• You can have slaves Ethically
  How can you have slaves ethically when they are your property, you own them, can beat them till near death, and can sell them? just the fact alone the Bible allows for you to own a person is obviously contradictory to other passages (James 2:8-9).
  
• Interpretations vary
  Sure, however they vary mostly on metaphorical verses. They don't however vary as much for something like "Thou shalt not kill" do they? Leviticus 25:44–46 Exodus 21:2–6 Exodus 21:20–21
  
• It was common back then/Historical context
  Just because it was common doesn't make it right. Does the bible bend to what is socially acceptable even if its morally wrong and goes against all of gods principles? Doesn't god surpass humans in knowledge as well as morality? God doesn't support slavery according to principles yet there are passages (Exodus 21:20–21) where god himself directly explains how to manage slaves and definitely not ethically. Imagine if god never condemned murder but actively told people how to properly murder someone.
  
• Reddit counter argument I found to Exodus Exodus 21:20–21:
  This verse is always ripped from it's context because it can be made to sound like permission to beat a slave "When men quarrel and one strikes the other with a stone or with his fist and the man does not die but takes to his bed, then if the man rises again and walks outdoors with his staff, he who struck him shall be clear; only he shall pay for the loss of his time, and shall have him thoroughly healed. Exodus 21:18-19
  

What is happening here is a law exists that requires that if people fight and one is caused to be injured, that the offender pays for the time the other can't work. V20 is an exception since the slaves work is already for the benefit of the owner. The time lost is already at the cost of the owner. So no payment needs to be made.
Also, other laws are still in affect. As we can see in v20 if the slave dies he is to be avenged.
Also, if the slave is injured in a permanent way such as losing a tooth, he is likely to go free as we can see just a few verses later
"When a man strikes the eye of his slave, male or female, and destroys it, he shall let the slave go free because of his eye. If he knocks out the tooth of his slave, male or female, he shall let the slave go free because of his tooth. Exodus 21:26-27
So this verse is in no way permission to beat a slave as it is often claimed."
My Counter Argument: This context does NOT disprove that Exodus 21:20-21 allows for the beating of a slave but just talks about how the laws sought to regulate behavior including how slaves should be treated by creating certain restrictions and penalties. Regardless of the extra context, when we combine Exodus 21:20-21 in light of the surrounding verses, it's clear that while yes, there was a legal framework that acknowledged the value of a slave's life (by requiring the avenging of a slave's death) it also shows a clear societal hierarchy where slaves were regarded as property. "If the slave survives a day or two, he is not to be avenged, for the slave is his money" obviously this implies a degree of leniency towards the owner's actions, again reflecting that slave-owner relationship. These laws attempt to balance the interests of slave owners with certain protections for slaves, albeit its still within a system that inherently lacked equality. The context only sets forth the conditions under which physical discipline could occur, alongside the penalties or lack thereof, depending on the outcome of such actions. This argument attempts to frame the passage as merely a legal technicality where it doesn't support slaves being beat. However the fact still remains that a slave owner could beat their slave with enough severity to necessitate days of recovery without significant consequence. Again, when you never condemn something even if it obviously goes against all your morals, it says a lot. You have permission to beat your slave, just to an extend (Near death) Also, once again, lets not forget that this verse is part of the Mosaic Law, given by God himself to Moses to relay to the Israelites regarding the treatment of slaves.

Conclusion

The Bible not only never condemns slavery, but also supports it.
When you consider the prevalence of slavery in biblical times and its direct contradiction with the core moral teachings of the Bible you would expect it to be littered with passages unequivocally condemning such a widely recognized evil practice. But instead, apart from never denouncing slavery, the Bible provides detailed instructions on managing and participating in it.
When juxtaposed with the Bible's explicit commandments against other immoral acts, this silence on slavery is very telling.
(I like murder analogy a lot) If the Bible never condemned murder but, instead, provided guidelines for permissible types of killing, we'd rightly conclude it condones violence. The same logic applies to slavery.

This is a regular post that's scheduled to pop up and receive different types of writing as response. Since a few of these tools are incredibly time consuming I have them on rotation for new members and those who have missed them. I have started working on responses for examples but as busy as I have been and struggling, I again turned to ChatGPT and I am again, totally excited to see these NOT compete with the human writer in creativity.
So check out the results this week and let me know your thoughts!
It's all in fun and let's prove our worth with better!
🎄⛄🎁🎄⛄🎄🎄⛄⛄🎄🎁⛄⛄🎄🎄⛄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎁🎄🎁⛄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🎄⛄⛄ original post below followed by ChatGPT re
We have so many different ways to express our appreciation for things. This series is an expensive list of the subgenres you can use as a writer to describe the projects you are working with.
Respond with anything you think might be missing, or comments on whatever you have that may fit one, or more, of these awesome definitions of subgenres!
This is supposed to be fun, so no rude Dolphin hate!

1. Ergodic Literature: Requires effort from the reader beyond typical reading, often involving non-linear narratives or physical interaction with the book.
   
2. Bildungsroman: A novel that focuses on the psychological and moral growth of the protagonist from youth to adulthood.
   
3. Eco-Horror: Blends elements of horror and environmental issues, often featuring nature as a malevolent force.
   
4. Biopunk: Explores the impact of biotechnology, genetic engineering, and biometrics on society.
   
5. Cli-Fi (Climate Fiction): Focuses on climate change and its effects on the environment and humanity.
   
6. Chick Lit Noir: Merges elements of women's fiction, mystery, and noir, typically featuring a female protagonist.
   
7. Solarpunk: Envisions a future where renewable energy and sustainable living practices prevail.
   
8. Flintlock Fantasy: Features technology equivalent to the flintlock firearm era in a fantasy setting.
   
9. Transrealism: Blurs the line between reality and fiction, often incorporating real-life events and characters.
   
10. Splatstick: Combines slapstick comedy with elements of horror, often involving exaggerated and gory violence.
    
11. Crunchy Noir: A subversion of traditional noir with added elements of comedy and irreverence.
    
12. Kaiju Erotica: Involves giant monsters (kaiju) in explicit or erotic contexts.
    
13. Gastrofiction: Focuses on food and culinary experiences as a central theme in the narrative.
    
14. Biopunk: Explores the societal implications of biotechnology, genetic engineering, and biometrics.
    
15. Dieselpunk: Set in a world where diesel-based technology is prevalent, often in an alternate history.
    
16. Bugpunk: Blends steampunk aesthetics with insect-inspired technology.
    
17. Rural Noir: Noir fiction set in rural or small-town environments, often exploring dark themes.
    
18. Hopepunk: Emphasizes hope, optimism, and resilience in the face of adversity.
    
19. Mannerpunk: A subgenre of fantasy that focuses on manners, social hierarchies, and etiquette.
    
20. Clockpunk: Features clockwork mechanisms and Renaissance-era technology in a fantasy setting.
    
21. Atompunk: Centers around the aesthetics and technology inspired by the Atomic Age and mid-20th century.
    
22. Dreadpunk: A subgenre of gothic horror that emphasizes a sense of dread and unease.
    
23. Decopunk: Set in the Art Deco era, often with a focus on sleek design and glamour.
    
24. Dying Earth Subgenre: Takes place in the last days of a dying world, often with a sense of decay and decline.
    
25. Mannerpunk: Focuses on manners, social structures, and etiquette in a fantastical setting.
    
26. Slipstream: Blurs the boundaries between mainstream fiction and speculative fiction.
    
27. Cattlepunk: A western-inspired subgenre with advanced technology and cattle-centric themes.
    
28. Oceanpunk: Features maritime and underwater settings with a focus on oceanic technology.
    
29. Dolphin Poetry: Poetry inspired by or featuring dolphins as a prominent theme.
    
30. Cat Poetry: Poetry centered around cats as a significant subject.
    

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Prompt 1: Ergodic Literature
Title: The Maze of Whispers
In a dimly lit room, there sat an old man named Professor Bartholomew, surrounded by books that seemed to teeter on the edge of chaos. He was known for his eccentricities and fascination with ancient tomes. The assignment for the day was a peculiar one - ergodic literature. He urged us to create a narrative that required effort beyond typical reading.
I closed my eyes, picturing a world where whispers held the secrets of existence. My protagonist, Lydia, stumbled upon an old, tattered book bound with a lock of silver. As she flipped through the pages, the words whispered to her in faint echoes, inviting her deeper into their labyrinthine secrets.
Lydia soon realized that reading wasn't enough; she had to engage with the text physically. The words wove a path, guiding her through an intricate maze of passages that twisted and turned with each decision. Every choice she made altered the narrative, leading to different outcomes, each branching into new, uncharted territories.
The book's world was alive, responding to Lydia's touch, her emotions, her doubts, and her courage. It demanded her presence, her active participation, pushing her beyond the boundaries of passive reading. The more she interacted, the more the story revealed its enigmatic nature, challenging her perception of reality.
As Lydia ventured deeper, the whispers intensified. They weren't just words anymore; they were living entities, shaping the very essence of her being. She found herself in a struggle to escape the maze of whispers that threatened to consume her entirely.
In the end, she discovered that the book was a reflection of her own soul, a manifestation of her inner struggles and desires. To break free, Lydia had to confront her fears and make peace with the cacophony of whispers that echoed within her mind.
The story unfolded as a journey of self-discovery, where the reader became an active participant, navigating the maze alongside Lydia, feeling the weight of each decision and experiencing the consequences firsthand.
Professor Bartholomew applauded the class for their imaginative takes on ergodic literature, emphasizing how our narratives required readers to engage beyond the surface, encouraging a deeper level of interaction with the text. The assignment opened doors to a realm where the act of reading transcended mere observation, transforming into a collaborative journey between the author, the characters, and the reader.
This exercise challenged my perceptions of storytelling, igniting a newfound appreciation for the intricate dance between the written word and the reader's participation, leaving me eager to explore more unconventional narrative styles in the future.

Back at the 88th Academy Awards in 2016, in honor of Black History Month, the Academy prepared a special presentation to honor "someone who has shattered barriers with his groudbreaking performances". Presented by Angela Bassett, the segment led us to believe she was talking about Will Smith.
Earlier that year, Jada Pinklett Smith complained about the lack of diversity at the Oscars. For the second consecutive year, the 20 performances nominated in the four acting categories came from white actors. OscarsSoWhite was born. But not only that, she complained her husband Will Smith was snubbed for his performance in Concussion, a film with mixed reviews that got Smith a Golden Globe nomination. At the end of the special presentation, Bassett announced that the person being honored was Jack Black. Queue to the audience laughing out loud. Note: this 45 seconds segment is one of Angela's greatest performance.
While Pinklett Smith promised to boicott the ceremony, it's safe to assumed she got word on the trolling clip. And knowing what we know now about her, we know she was not happy about it. That day she made her life's mission from stop Bassett getting an Oscar and getting one for her hubby. Years in the planning, if you will.
But Bassett was not her only victim, as there were many others. The first came when Chadwick Boseman was getting traction to win Best Actor for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. By this time, she knew King Richard would be the vehicle for Smith to get his win next year. "They're not going to reward two black actors back to back", she thought. "I have to stop this".
By the time Boseman secured the nomination, she set her plan in motion. In order to take away votes from him, she started calling Academy members, but campaining for Hopkins, nominated for The Father. But she didn't call A-listers. In order to go unnoticed, she called those members that have long being forgotten, those kind of old people that haven't worked in the industry for 20+ years. Those octagenarian voters long retired or simply doing something else, but still with voting privileges. "Have you seen The Father? He represents you", she told them.
But that was not enough. In order to make it more likely that Smith wins the Oscars for Best Actor, she had to make sure the Academy was embarrased on not rewarding Boseman. So, Inception-style, she planted the idea on Steven Soderbergh that presenting the award for Best Actor the very last at the 93th Oscars, would be a great tribute to the late Boseman. Well, we all know how that went.
The 94th Academy Awards came and despite one of the most shocking moments in recent Academy history, Smith was a lock to win Best Actor. That's how powerful she is. And he indeed, won. Part one of the plan was complete.
Now it was time for part two: stopping Angela from winning an Oscar.
Not long had to pass for her to get her second nomination, the first being for 1993's What's Love Got To Do With It, where she played legendary rock star Tina Turner. This time was for playing Queen Ramonda in 2022's Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Pinklett Smith was not worried because someone winning for a superhero Marvel movie was something that is not heard of. But oh boy, she was (kinda) wrong. Bassett started getting attention for the role, winning Best Supporting Actress at the Golden Globes and Critic's Choice. Pinklett Smith started shaking when new-legendary American treasure Ariana De Bose declared Angela "did the thing" at the BAFTA Awards that year. And we know she did.
Taking into account that her first strategy worked just fine with no issues, she started doing the same: calling Academy members of the lowest profile, campaigning for somebody else. Her angle was not very much different than the last: "Curtis is a legendary artist, she's overdue". She knew the optics of a career award, nepo baby, legendary status, overdue narrative where more important that the performance itself.
Some members were hesitant to help her this time, as they (somehow) still remembered how embarrasing was the last time they heard her. In exchange, she promise to keep humiliating Smith in public while remaining bald. It worked.
What she was not counting on was The Academy remembering such embarrasment, so they decided to give Bassett an Honorary Awards the very next ceremony. And since this is not an award decided by popular vote, there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was boiling.
Disclaimer: This is just shitposting, take it as it is.
What other Oscar conspiracy theories would you like to know about? Do you have any?

Proof read, edited, and formatted to hopefully be easy for The Trip Keeper to read on YouTube.
A lil about me: I have a family history of schizophrenia with two people in my family being diagnosed. I think that's why psychedelics hit me like a train. I know I'm one of the folks they say shouldn't tripping but I've already done it and I am not stopping anytime soon. I'm quite the spiritual hippie type. I live for the esoteric, bizarre, and werid side of tripping. I'm also quite experienced with psychedelics and drugs in general having tried alcohol, cigarettes, vapes, kava, Kratom, weed, oxycodone, hydrocodone, percocet, Hospital Morphine, Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse, Conserta, Nitrous, Acid, Shrooms, n-BOMEs, Synthetic shrooms, random Acid non n-BOME RCs, Hydroxyzine (only snorted while drunk), Phenibut, Promethazine w/o codeine, blue lotus, and a bunch of random herbs and nootropics.
A little context to story, I had got some liquid Acid dropped on Bottle Caps Candy from a family member we'll call R. R had called me up informing me he had liquid LSD and to bring a chalky candy when I came to pick it up. He dosed the candy in another room when I picked them up. When he brought them back there was a thick layer of liquid struggling to absorb into each hit so we smooshed another piece on top of each one, 3 tabs altogether. He told me each one was an equivalent of 2 to 3 hits of high quality LSD. I also hadn't tripped in 6 months at this point but that's a story for another sub. Though the reason why didn't have much to do with tripping itself nor anything fun like psychosis.
A couple days later I found myself with my bills caught up, a slow night on Doordash so no work, extra money, weed, some cigarettes, and my roommate was out visiting Family. I had showered and ate some Chinese before taking a short nap. When I woke up it was around 9pm, obviously already dark outside. I was in a good mood, had nothing to do, and didn't want to go back to sleep so I slapped an LSD bottle cap on my tongue and went for a walk.
One of the pieces dissolved really quickly, like less than a minute quick, while the other piece took atleast 15 to 20 minutes fully dissolve. I was slightly nervous about tripping the days prior and was even a lil scared before placing it on my tongue; but, that fear was completely annihilated when 5 to 7 minutes in I felt this electric tingle that started in the back of my head go down my spine. I started smiling, feeling super happy, and chilled out when the tingle reached the base of my spine. I thought to myself, "Wow, I can't believe I was scared to trip again, I feel amazing right now!!" I lit a cigarette and enjoyed my walk for awhile until I started coming to the end of a col-de-sac, the street I was on was on a downward slope I think this affected things but the end of the col-de-sac and the houses started stretching super tall and became super thin kind of like a fun house mirror. I was completely mesmerized by it till I was interrupted by this electric beeping that made my skeleton nearly jump out of my skin. I had looked over and saw this gray box with 2 pink lights on it sticking out of the ground and assumed that's where the beeping came from. I then straight sprinted home cause I wasn't sure if it was hallucination or not. I did go back a few days later and couldn't find the box.
After opening my front door the night is hard to remember linearly but I will try my best. I don't have the texts anymore from this night since I got a new phone. Once I got back home, I had to use the bathroom so I went did my business but while washing my hands I looked in the mirror and noticed my pupils are starting to look a lot like bowling balls. It was then, I noticed the reflection of the SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick on ketamine meme my roommate printed out and pinned on the wall. Their eyes were dilating more than normal and they were all swaying back and forth. I texted R to tell him I finally tried the acid and it's strong. It's roughly 10:40p.m. by this point, even though it had been 1 hour 40 minutes since dropping it had only felt like 30 or 40 minutes ago at the most. I was about to sit down and do a dab but I got a almost telepathic sense I was about to throw up rather than a physical feeling I was about to. After throwing up I texted R freaking out questioning if it was acid since it's not supposed to make you nauseous. He just told me "too much too fast" "calm down put your phone down and be safe". I didn't put my phone down.
I started finally doing some dabs after 2 or 3 big rips I looked over and saw 2 shadow people. One was a little girl with blonde hair, a yellow sun dress, no face, instead was an empty void. It was as if her head was an empty shell and her face was the hole. The other one was a middle aged man with short blackish gray balding hair dressed in overalls, no shirt, work boots, also no face. The second shadow person looked a lot like one of my deceased uncles. They didn't feel menacing or demonic nor even holy as one would expect an encounter of this type. I got up and walked to my kitchen probably to get water but I got distracted by a third shadow person who was a woman but I didn't get too good of a look before being distracted by my thoughts. I started stretching and thinking to myself, "well atleast the dark isn't so scary anymore compared to being schizophrenic" at the time it did feel very profound aswell as I am now genuinely less scared of the dark. There's also cardboard cut outs of the Elysian Full Haze and Full Contact IPA cans hung up in my kitchen. People were walking in and out of the giant head on the Full Haze poster, I thought they were sacrificing themselves to the massive head. Thought the dude on the Full Contact poster was holding my brain aswell.
I remember it was around this time the body load and vasoconstriction was getting so intense that my arms and legs felt lankier than normal and my jaw felt like it was wired shut. I drank some water and brought a glass back to my room. When I came back the ocean thunderstorm tapestry above bed had the clouds and ocean actually moving with the lightning striking. I have string lights behind that tapestry that wrap around to the conjoining wall. The string lights looked like technicolor rainbow stars forming beautiful constellations. Normally, they are only blue, yellow, green, red and twinkle but during the trip some were changing colors to pink, purple, violet, orange, and more colors that don't exist. While the tapestry was animated, it had no sound. There's a framed painting of a deer in a forest during the sunrise on the same wall. The light in the painting was actually coming through the painting as if it was a window with sunlight shining through. The deer even had his head down grazing when normally he has his head turned towards the viewer of the painting. I layed down and decided to throw on some music. I couldn't decide on a song, I hit skip on Spotify at least 30 times before settling on Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb, cliche I know, but they're one of my favorite bands and usually seem to find me when things start getting intense on psychedelics. I couldn't actually read anymore so I only knew it was Comfortably Numb by the hook and album art.
As I layed in bed I started stretching out and looking around the room. I finally started to relax a lil and calm down from thinking these were possibly nBOMes. I started to really lose myself in the trip. The slight movement of my air mattress made feel like I was floating on the ocean sea, which gave way to a euphoric sense of oneness and that I am an ocean of pure consciousness. The string lights above my bed were twinkling and reflecting slightly off the ceiling. The reflections were blending with the moving geometry on the ceiling. Next, I looked up at my Pokémon 20th anniversary poster. It was a bunch of black and white silhouettes of starter Pokémon from the first five or six gens with the ones in the middle being colored and shaped like Pikachu's head. Every silhouette was pulsating and almost bubbling.
At one point, I watched this abstract splatter colored tapestry for what felt like two hours, in reality it was probably only 30 or 40 minutes at the most. There were rotating hexagonal and octagonal pillars shooting out of the tapestry between the pillars it appeared to boil, the bursting bubbles had sparks flying off of them.
I can't remember exactly when this happened in the night so might as well stick it here. While hanging out in my bedroom, I got up to do what else but smoke more dabs. I did multiple in a row where I would do the whole ritual and forgot I had done so and follow it up with another. While sitting there, I light a cigarette to pass time and to just smoke more while conserving a lil on the wax. On my second or third cigarette in a row I started thinking to myself out loud that, "Ya know, Family Guy is right!! Vaping does look pretty fucking goofy. My twin flame out there probably thinks vaping looks goofy as fuck!! And smoking might look cool to some bitches but they give you cancer and shorten your life. It's less money for weed and psychedelics. I think after tonight I'm done smoking forever." I chain smoked a few cigarettes.
I think this is when I started hearing voices in my head. I was hearing random YouTubers, friends, celebrities, family members, and other random voices saying random words over over again. I truly thought I was hearing my sleeping neighbors' thoughts. I genuinely believed I had Telepathy. The only words I could make out vividly; however, was The Trip Keeper saying, "Gassid" over over like it was a soundbyte looping. At the time I took this as a sign to do Nitrous with Acid and that there was something spiritual I needed to see/experience from it. I was right, however this wasn't the night I did that combo as I had no nitrous at the time and it's an equally crazy experience but shorter story. I'm planning on posting that experience soon, also DO NOT huff nitrous it actually KILLS your brain cells.
Thoroughly freaking out again about hearing voices. I start frantically texting R, however I can't remember what for though. I even vividly remember asking R what would happen if I took more phrasing it "will things get more colorful or last longer?" He never responded. Since I couldn't read I was using speech to text to text R. I also had got up to pace through the house. Ordinarly, I would've left to go on another walk but I had convinced myself if that I had left again one of my cats would get out of the house and somehow I'd get arrested. I look up from my phone to notice a swirling florescent neon colored vortex of geomtry in the middle of my living room. The vortex started swirling towards me and started to suck the words out of my mouth. I saw the phrase ,"The only words that make sense are the ones I say out loud" get sucked out of my mouth by the vortex in bubble letters that distorted and mixed with geometry. As the bubble letters got closer to center of the vortex they would distort super cartoonishly, individual patterns and a mix of colors appeared over each letter. The vortex itself had a wigwag shape to it. At the time I thought in my head, "Damn this is what Jerry Garcia probably ment by "Steal your face right off your head"". I actually attempted to draw this out later on. See the drawing here if I can get imgur to work. I don't really remember turning the lights on all through my house but I vividly remember all the lights being off when the vortex stole my words. I don't remember how the vortex incident ended just that next all I know is all the lights are on suddenly and I'm walking out of my bedroom. It's probably 3 or 4am at this point cause I started hearing my neighbor cough and going in and out for cigarettes the rest of the night. I had laid my recliner, the voices had stopped but that was replaced with an intense loud buzzing inside of my head. I had my head on one of armrests, legs hanging off the other armrest, chair reclined, facing the wall. I was watching the logo on my clawhammer wall flag drip like white blood. My cats, of which I had 10 at the time, 5 being kittens still nursing, were running back and forth and playing with each other. Below the wall flag is a table with a wooden CD tower, my cats Cinderella and Oreo had jumped on the table at the same time. Completely in sync and as one fluid motion they stood up, turned to look at me, arched their backs, and sat down. Their coats were flowing and Cinderella had extra golden stripes in her fur. They stared deep into my eyes for a long time and were trying to ask me telepathically if I was doing okay. I more or less alternated between laying on the floor and my recliner for the next couple hours.
Every now and then I'd hear my neighbor out front coughing. I was debating whether or not to go talk him and wait for the sun to come up. Normally, I would've put on a show from myself at various points through the night but I had no internet at the time.
As the sun was starting to really come up and I was starting to really come down, I went outside and talked with my neighbor for awhile. Told him about my night, he's actually a little bit of a hippie too. I walked to the gas station to get some food. I felt like a zombie the whole way there and back. The light made my eyes sizzle like bacon on the Texas pavement in the middle of July. It felt like my brain was a steaming bowl of scrambled eggs. My jaw felt like I got my shit rocked by Mike Tyson. I came home, ate my powdered donuts despite only being able to taste it's texture which was low-key wigging me out, and watched either Space Ghost Coast to Coast or The Trip Keeper on my phone till I passed out.
The next morning (afternoon), my dad picked me up and we hung the whole day while I recovered and slowly returned to feeling human again. I bummed a cigarette off my dad and decided while smoking it that it was my last cigarette. I actually quit all nicotine for a month and half after this night. I started back up purely because of a bad (tested real) Acid/Nitrous Trip.
I do wanna add while not using nicotine I had vivid dreams about smoking cigarettes and vaping. Keep posted for the follow up stories about my bad Acid/Nitrous Trip, Smoking Dreams, and Snorting Hydroxyzine with Alcohol cause I bet The Trip Keeper wants to hear that last one.

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
Uhm, I’m a 14yo female, I’m a pretty typical teen I guess. Got the weird mental health thing going on and I’m pretty angsty but I suppose it’s pretty standard for a teen?
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Not a medical diagnosis but I’m suspected to have mild depression
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I grew up in a religious household but it wasn’t too bad, I left when I was 11 and my parents couldn’t care less. I do have a more conservative dad and a more liberal mom but that’s whatever. I am bisexual though which my dad probably won’t appreciate as he doesn’t like gay people, I haven’t come out to my family though so that’s pretty fun. My parents are loving but my mom is sometimes emotionally distant, whereas my dad is SUPER loving. But I don’t really reciprocate that love, I was never lovey dovey with my family, I don’t have a particularly strong emotional connection/bond with them for some reason. Whenever I show my love physically it’s more of a “damn I have to do this cause it looks like I don’t love them.” Which is completely my fault, not my parents. I mean I do love my parents but it’s more of a “they’re my parents and they do things for me so i have to love them.” my parents are completely chill and not strict at all so this isn’t a family issue. Sometimes my friends tell me how they buy stuff for their parents or plan special vacations for them and I think “wow, I’m a shit child.” So I do feel guilty at times because my parents are my world but I don’t have a close bond with them.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I don’t have a job atm seeing as I am 14, but I’m starting my art commissions soon! I like doing art and I want to make more money, hence the art commissions. But I do believe in the belief that hobbies shouldn’t be your job as it blurs the line between past times where you do things for the fun of it whereas doing it for your job takes the fun out of it since it’s mandatory and you’re not working for yourself, you’re working for others. But art commissions allow me to pay back for what my parents do for me and to have some extra spending money.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Before, I probably would’ve felt amazing for the first day but lonely on the second. I’m a huge peoples person and an extrovert so I need my human bonding time. It’s a way for me to project my feelings and thoughts onto others but it’s also an ego thing for me. I need to hang out with others to show that I’m not lonely and I do in fact have friends because there was a time in my life where all I would do was rot at home all day, which I didn’t have a problem with but it was very lonely at times. Sometimes I force myself to hang out with others because I don’t want to go back to that stage where I was a shell of who I used to be. If I was alone for a whole weekend I would immerse myself into books, anime, manga, and my hobbies to forget about my existence because if I was ever left alone with my actual thoughts I would probably die because I’m a super self aware person. I’m so self aware sometimes I literally have to find philosophy videos so that I can think about other things and not lead myself down the rabbithole of self pity and guilt. But being self aware doesn’t mean that I change myself for the better. I know my weaknesses and I know my toxic traits but I won’t do anything to actually change unless I have the motivation to do so. Nowadays I like being alone and I would probably feel refreshed to just spend two days alone because the other 5 I am constantly with others. Being alone is a way for me to disassociate and I love it.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I LOVE “self” activities where I do stuff myself, such as drawing, reading, writing, etc.. But I also love activities with other people such as debating, being in bands etc.. I play badminton for fun, I’m not particularly good at it but it’s exhilarating for me. I am definitely not good at sports lol, but I am good at lifting weights! 10/10 for that self improvement, lol. I really love to debate, to discuss about things and see them through different perspectives. But unfortunately I don’t do it often because my friends aren’t the ones to debate. I seriously love to debate and to argue about worldly topics that are slightly political to more philosophical and moral topics. It allows me to be more open minded about the world because I’m being challenged about my beliefs, everything I know, etc.. But I also do it for the pure fun of it, I love destroying people in debates (corny, I know).
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I’m not a very curious person I suppose. But I have a lot of ideas in my head that are only up to the drawing board but never the execution phase, sadly. I’m not naturally curious, I just love learning new things (is that a contradiction?) haha. I wouldn’t say that curious is the right word, but I am curious about life itself and other moral things. Like why are we so big on morality, why do we think that the human species is special, it’s hard to put my thoughts into words. How are we sure if we even have a consciousness, if we have free will, free choice. Why we think that hard work is important when most of our successes are stemmed from pure luck. Everything we do, we think, our behaviours and mannerisms all stem from our environment, our DNA, our ancestry, etc.. People who grew up poor and became successful, they had the willpower, the motivation, the mindset and personality for it. Those things are based off of environment, DNA, etc.. Did you know that your unconsciousness makes your choices before you consciously make those choices? I’m going off track, I sound edgy. Anyways, most of my ideas aren’t the ideas that you can really execute. They’re mostly to challenge what we know now. Before, back in the 1600s, people thought that the world was flat, and that there was a thing called the great chain of being. Nowadays we know better than that, but how do we know that what we know now is actually real? Or is it concepts that we give ourselves to understand the world better when they don’t actually have any real answer? We understand gravity and the laws of gravity but why are there laws of gravity (stupid question, i know)? Everything has an origin but what origin do those origins have? It’s like that story where the fish doesn’t even know what water is because it’s so painfully obvious and there that it becomes something that they can’t comprehend/don’t understand. Everything I said sounds like I’m trying to be deep but I’m actually being corny, I’m sorry I can’t explain my ideas any better than this 😔
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I’m not the best leader if I’m forced into it or if I’m conscious of the role of leader. I often turn into a stumbling mess of weird ideas that I can’t explain well. But I am a leader in terms of giving ideas to others and helping them execute it out? Like we don’t have a said leader follower system but in terms of the ideas and guiding it’s me who often does that. I just don’t like the physical role of leader I guess. If I were the leader I would give ideas and suggestions but I would encourage others for their ideas and based off of that we can make a hybird of our ideas and stuff, I’m terrible at ordering others around though, makes me feel like an asshole.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
Definitely not coordinated in the slightest. My hands aren’t good at acting out what my brain tells it to do. Which is why I’m terrible at bass guitars, my bass teacher has amazing patience to not yell at me lol. The only coordinated thing I’m good at is drawing but I wouldn’t even call that coordinated, I just scribble with my hands and I make it look aesthetically pleasing. But that’s what I’m going for because I love messy, not cleanliness.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Haha, I’m very artistic. I love drawing, art has no rules so I can do whatever I want as long as it looks good to me. I can experiment with different things to see what goes best with my art. My art is very messy, very textured, very colourful, etc.. My sketch is my lineart because I say so and I use random colours to make my art pop out. Random scribbles turns into eyes, ears, noses, etc.. Everything has a meaning in my art. I love drawing perspective art because it challenges how I draw typically, it’s interesting and expressive and it’s out of the ordinary. Art tells stories in the way typical stories don’t. It lets you interpret a lot of things rather than having a set and objective story, because it’s purely up to the interpreter. The story is how you interpret it to be, it isn’t written in stone. It’s open ended and it doesn’t tell you how to interpret it as so, thats why I love open interpretation books!
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
Do we really have a present? Right now may be the present but every ticking second after is the past. The present is just the past but more recent, something we made up. The future is what we delude ourselves into thinking, how do we know there is a future if it is not set into stone? How do we know that we will wake up tomorrow and the day after? How do we know that we will live in the next ten minutes? We are basing everything off of the future, why we work for retirement, why we study to graduate, why we live for the future, but the future isn’t set in stone. Everything is based off of pure chance that we are still alive. It’s so standard to just think that you automatically have a future, but there’s no definite proof that we will have one, so why do we keep working our asses off for a future that may not even exist? Why work for retirement when you aren’t even sure if you’ll live til then, and if you do, why are you so sure that you will be in the right mind to enjoy that retirement? Many people live in retirement homes after retirement with mental illnesses like dementia, Alzheimers, or they live with physical illnesses like cancer or whatnot. They spent their prime years working for something that they overestimated, and now they can’t even enjoy their hard-work because they simply don’t have the capacity for that.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
Of course I’ll help them! I’m a kindhearted being by nature, but it honestly depends if it’s in my skillset/power to help them. I help them because there’s a chance in the future that when I ask for help, they’ll help me back. Everybody can’t just function on their own, we are social mammals for a reason. We got so far in life due to the sacrifices of other human beings, so why not give back? If it doesn’t harm us to help then why not?
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Interesting question. Logic may be something we came up to help us understand the world better and to help us function, so everybody does need a bit of logical consistency in their lives. But for me personally, I couldn’t care less. Society is built on a system of theories and concepts to help us explain things and to keep us functioning with rules and shit. But sometimes we forget that there are things out of our understanding that can’t be explained by that system, and that’s just life! Not everything has to have a logical explanation or whatnot, that’s just the fun of it.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Productivity is important, efficiency? Sort of I guess. Currently in this time period, I’m not a very productive person, thinking about all the things I need to do stresses me out and gives me anxiety because I can be so unproductive it damages my mental health. Efficiency is nice if you’re rushing to do things but I like to take my time.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I don’t control others in the sense that I order them around, but I control their view of me I guess? From the outside I seem like a very outgoing, happy go lucky person who is like an open book, but unfortunately I am not that person. I’m a reserved person at heart, I have a lot of friends but I only trust one. But I make it seem like I trust all of them? Hard to explain, I know. Sometimes when I’m stuck in rough situations I spin lies to make it seem like I’m the good person, I guess that’s called controlling and manipulation? Ultimately, I think about myself the most so everything I do is for my self preservation. So you can say that I’m controlling others in the sense that I can save myself? I know that’s not good and I’m trying to change my ways though.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
Reading, writing, playing bass guitar, drawing, reading manga/watching anime. All of them have a thing in common which is that I get to disassociate myself from my reality and immerse myself into a different world where I get to pretend that I’m living a different life where everything is tailored to my standards, where I have no responsibility, etc.. I used to have this daydreaming thing where I would daydream for hours while walking around in circles, dreaming about my perfect world. I don’t do that as often but I definitely use other outlets for that. I get to be a different person, play a different role, live a different life when I practice my hobbies.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I like a learning environment where everything is subjective, open ended, where they give us space for open interpretation and our own ideas instead of a set system with an objective way of thinking patterns. Which is what I struggle with the most, just a set system of what to think where I can’t debate/challenge it. When I learn, I need an explanation, a reason, etc.. I want different opinions, different perspectives instead of just one opinion and one perspective and no explanation as to why. How will we grow as beings if we don’t have any critical thinking skills? If we just learn to think one way, and to never challenge our beliefs? Nowadays people just believe everything they see (I am a victim of this LMAO) but they don’t have the critical thinking skills to think “is there any proof? is there a demonstration of this? any explanation?” Because we are so used to others doing the thinking for us. I also hate memorisation because it’s essentially “Here, I’ll give you a bunch of things to memorise but with no reason as to why we should and how this helps us learn and will be useless in the future because all we know is what to do but not why we do it.” You’re just parroting the information but not actually evaluating it in your head!
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I am not a strategist, I’m a “go with the flow” type of person, I just wing stuff and improvise as I go because it helps with thinking and helps me better improve my explaining/arguing skills. I don’t plan off a script where I edit everything until it looks perfect, these are my raw thoughts and feelings that I’m putting out into this world. But then again I’m too fucking lazy to actually write a script and shit so LMAO. But then again random ideas are the best ideas because they tend to be unbiased and come from the creative side of your brain.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I find that most of my aspirations in life are set by what society tells me to do, like I have to work a good paying job and have a stable life where I settle down and have a family. And maybe that’s what I want to do but honestly I just want to travel the world, typical, I know. I want to make a bunch of friends wherever I go and backpack across the world or something. I don’t need to make a lot of money because it doesn’t matter how much you make, having a 6k figure salary only means a two bedroom apartment with barely enough to scrap by after living expenses where i live, and it’ll only continue to get more expensive after i graduate so. but sometimes in the back of my mind, i just want to live in solitude surrounded by my favourite things without having any responsibilities, where i am forgotten by the world.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I don’t really have any set fears? I can’t really think of anything other than roaches going up my ears, or any insect for that matter. Maybe dying a really painful death but that’s better than torture, or existing but not living. like having a body but no mind. I read a few stories about the elderly being trapped in their body, basically like living zombies forced to live until they die. i’m just uncomfortable with the idea that you can’t “exit” life even after your soul has withered away and your existence serves no purpose to anything until your body breaks down. it’s like you’re numb to everything and you can’t comprehend anything but you have only that one window of consciousness that you can’t even exercise because you aren’t in control of your body. you know nothing, you don’t know who you are, who your loved ones are, etc.. You are basically reduced to the empty shell of your former self. Scary, huh?
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Healthy balance of a social life, actually being social without forcing yourself to be. having a healthy relationship with yourself, with your loved ones. not having debilitating thoughts wherever you go.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
being numb to everything, having debilitating thoughts where you despise everyone in your life, think the worst of everyone in your life, self sabotaging relationships, distancing from relationships. being high-functioning because you look so happy outside but you actually haven’t showered in two weeks, haven’t brushed your hair in a month nor brushed your teeth in a week, and locked yourself inside your room til you can’t anymore. sleeping all the time because that’s the closest thing to not existing, immersing yourself into anime and manga because you can forget shit going on in your life. feeling like shit but not actually having a reason for that. I SOUND SO EDGY????
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I like to detach a lot, whenever I have free time I listen to music whenever I can to distract myself from reality. I daydream everyday because sometimes I’m so stressed out by the future that I want to leave. But day dreaming has always been a habit of mines, I started daydreaming around 7yrs old and I would daydream for hours about my perfect life and stuff and building alternate realities and intricate plots because that’s so much fun. I never pay attention to the things around me, I don’t think I even pay attention to anyone but myself. I’m not the type to pay attention to my surroundings so I’m not aware of what others think of me or how they act around me. When I daydream I often stare at the ground or zone out so I’m not aware of my surroundings LOL.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I daydream while walking around in circles, often about fandoms that I’m in. I also talk to myself a lot like I’m my own narrator. I like to think a lot about the universe itself because I don’t need to think about my life. I never actually have a set pattern of thoughts, they tend to jump around from thought to thought. So I’ll think a bit about the universe then it jumps to my fantasy land until it jumps to my past experiences and it jumps to myself, etc.. I’ll also think about things that I need to do, like finishing that one piece of artwork or practicing that new bass line I learnt.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I can be very impulsive at times but I already have a set answer to everything because I just am that person. I know what I want and it doesn’t take a lot for me to figure it out because like I said, I’m a very self aware person. I tend to be very indecisive when it comes to unimportant decisions though because they’re things that I can enjoy in the moment so I like to take my time deciding. Sometimes after making an important decision I might change it, but it’s usually because the situation has changed or another factor has changed or I gained a new perspective. But I am most often not unmoving after setting my decision.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Depends on how extreme my emotions are. When my grandma died, it took me a whole month to process that I was grieving, I was basically numb/shocked until I went to her funeral and that was the first time I ever cried about her passing. Grief is a weird thing. Emotions are important but I don’t really care about them. I’m basically a “as long as it doesn’t harm anyone then whatever” type of person.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Very often, actually, and I fucking hate it. Because whenever they say anything negative about something with no basis or explanation and I have to explain with them my perspective and the explanation of why that thing happens and they get pissy about me for it and think that I’m arguing. No, I’m not arguing, no, I’m not offended. I’m just trying to explain about why something they’re mad at is like that. They don’t like it when I give them logical arguments and questions because it breaks everything they know. So I usually keep quiet and rage silently while they go through their stupid mindfucks. I’m not about to risk my life explaining logic to someone who couldn’t give a shit. Like no Jennifer, you indoctrinate gay people, not the other way around. we literally get the death penalty in multiple countries for being gay and you’re saying that we’re trying to indoctrinate little timmy cause two girls were kissing each other?
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I don’t break rules often unless they’re rules I deem stupid. Some rules are only kept in place to control others into thinking or acting a certain way. Authority should definitely be challenged to deem if they are fit enough to order us around. If we give them free reign of what to do then it won’t take long until a tyrant is ruling around. We are what gives them power, not the other way around. I break rules sometimes because I see no reason why I should follow those rules. If it doesn’t affect anyone then why should I care?

I recently discovered this interview from the TIME magazine's archive - it's from 1999. It's hard to believe they actually published this in TIME magazine.
It's an interview with the leader of Falun Gong, a Qigong cult from China:
https://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2053761,00.html
Excerpts:

TIME: Why does chaos reign now?
Li: Of course there is not just one reason. The biggest cause of society's change today is that people no longer believe in orthodox religion. They go to church, but they no longer believe in God. They feel free to do anything. The second reason is that since the beginning of this century, aliens have begun to invade the human mind and its ideology and culture.
TIME: Where do they come from?
Li: The aliens come from other planets. The names that I use for these planets are different . Some are from dimensions that human beings have not yet discovered. The key is how they have corrupted mankind. Everyone knows that from the beginning until now, there has never been a development of culture like today. Although it has been several thousand years, it has never been like now.
The aliens have introduced modern machinery like computers and airplanes. They started by teaching mankind about modern science, so people believe more and more science, and spiritually, they are controlled. Everyone thinks that scientists invent on their own when in fact their inspiration is manipulated by the aliens. In terms of culture and spirit, they already control man. Mankind cannot live without science.
The ultimate purpose is to replace humans. If cloning human beings succeeds, the aliens can officially replace humans. Why does a corpse lie dead, even though it is the same as a living body? The difference is the soul, which is the life of the body. If people reproduce a human person, the gods in heaven will not give its body a human soul. The aliens will take that opportunity to replace the human soul and by doing so they will enter earth and become earthlings.
When such people grow up, they will help replace humans with aliens. They will produce more and more clones. There will no longer be humans reproduced by humans. They will act like humans, but they will introduce legislation to stop human reproduction.
TIME: Are you a human being?
Li: You can think of me as a human being.
TIME: Are you from earth?
Li: I don't wish to talk about myself at a higher level. People wouldn't understand it.
TIME: What are the aliens after?
Li: The aliens use many methods to keep people from freeing themselves from manipulation. They make earthlings have wars and conflicts, and develop weapons using science, which makes mankind more dependent on advanced science and technology. In this way, the aliens will be able to introduce their stuff and make the preparations for replacing human beings. The military industry leads other industries such as computers and electronics.
TIME: But what is the alien purpose?
Li: The human body is the most perfect in the universe. It is the most perfect form. The aliens want the human body.
TIME: What do aliens look like?
Li: Some look similar to human beings. U.S. technology has already detected some aliens. The difference between aliens can be quite enormous.
TIME: Can you describe it?
Li: You don't want to have that kind of thought in your mind.
TIME: Describe them anyway.
Li: One type looks like a human, but has a nose that is made of bone. Others look like ghosts. At first they thought that I was trying to help them. Now they now that I am sweeping them away.,
TIME: How do you see the future?
Li: Future human society is quite terrifying. If aliens are not to replace human beings, society will destroy itself on its own. Industry is creating invisible air pollution. The microparticles in the air harm human beings. The abnormality in the climate today is caused by that [pollution], and it cannot be remedied by humans alone. The drinking water is polluted. No matter how we try to purify it, it cannot return to its original purity. Modern science cannot determine the extent of the damage. The food we eat is the product of fertilized soil. The meat we eat is affected. I can foresee a future when human limbs become deformed, the body's joints won't move and internal organs will become dysfunctional. Modern science hasn't realized this yet.

​
It's interesting that he said aliens provided us with science and technology to divert our focus from spirituality. Tolkien said the exact same thing - the rings in the LoTR symbolizes technology. The interview also mentioned Military Industrial Complex as the ones who passed these tech to the commercial sector.
According to him, aliens are here to clone us - because they want to be us. This has been mentioned in some alien abduction cases (read 'Masquerade of Angels' by Karla Turner). Their method of invasion is not war but by slowly becoming us. There seems to be a concealed truth in the movie "Invasion of the body snatchers".

"If aliens are not to replace human beings, society will destroy itself on its own."
"The abnormality in the climate today is caused by that [pollution], and it cannot be remedied by humans alone."

These sentences revealed a lot, if you have read other esoteric materials, you'll know that this "alien invasion" was approved by the so called "galactic federation".
(Even NASA pondered their existence: https://ntrs.nasa.gov/api/citations/19800014518/downloads/19800014518.pdf)
The federation argued that mankind is going to destroyed itself and the planet anyway, so why not replaced humans and save the planet. It's like watching a movie with a twist in the end to find the protagonist to be the bad guy. We humans are the bad guys, they (the aliens) are coming here to replace us and save the planet. There you have it - the truth hurts.
The government is never going to revealed the truth.

Recently while leaving campus I (19F) drove into an intersection while it was turning yellow and came out as it was red. Perfectly legal albeit stupid and something I regret doing. While driving home I was trying to remember that memory as vividly as possible. I was afraid I had done something wrong, and what was once “I entered the intersection as if it was yellow.” turned into “Did I run a red light?” which became “Did I get caught by a red light camera? Was that a flash I saw?” The red light camera program stopped in the city where I attend college long ago. Even knowing that my brain for some reason convinced itself that there was an officer there, they saw me and I have a ticket coming through the mail. I panicked for 5 whole days.
I think I became so obsessed over this incident that I genuinely know too much about vehicle detection cameras; those were the ones at the intersection and the ones I was anxious about. I was definitely panicking, that day I made too many hasty decisions, most notably I came out to my siblings and mom about being trans. They took it well but I don’t know if I regret it or not. Went to a punk show for the first time ever. I don't usually listen to that type of music but it was chill and the folk were cool.
The whole issue has been better now, it just sometimes appears in the back of my mind. It shouldn’t have taken 5 days for me to feel somewhat calmer about it. I know that I entered the intersection as it was yellow, exited as it was red, I wasn’t pulled over or anything either. I just don’t understand why my brain keeps shifting and playing with my memories to convince me that something bad is coming, like a ticket in the mail. It’s unrealistic, if an officer had seen me actually run a red light they would’ve pulled me over right then and there. Yet somehow my brain refuses to accept that things are okay and nothing bad happened. It’s tiring lol.