so a thread asking on what your main champs are got me thinking(i already know the answer long before), that the criteria of my pool would be “support” heroes that can stand alone after laning phase
rank: emerald 1 role: support hero selection: lux > ap malph > zyra > aurelion sol
ive used to play pc version back then and was at gold rank during jinx release. i was comfortable using dependent heroes like braum since i had my real life friends play with me. i actually still do well when i tried those heroes in pvp (leona, braum, pyke, lulu, etc), but i just cant allow myself to pick them for ranked games because of my blatant distrust with rando adcs
so here’s my question support players. how do you pick a champ who cant carry/solo and has to be dependent to other random players to win? i got some friends to play wr now but they are in low rank so that’s waiting for the to go up is not an option
i already bought almost all support heroes but would never shift away from my roster and would rather try an alt role hero as support(i bought vex and zoey to try them as support lol). i have a ranked win rate nearing 55-60 if im not mistaken
tldr: how do you trust a random adc enough to pick a dependent support hero

Hello everyone. 🙂
I have been following my hair restoration routine for nearly 1 month now which in regards to micro needling involves...
Using this derma stamp at 1.5MM length, once a week.
I am well aware that i cannot expect much results during the first 3-4 months of procedure. But I feel like if I do not make some changes to my current schedule, I won't see much results down the line.
And hence, I am considering that from next month onwards, as the box suggests, I try out 1MM length micro needling, twice a week instead. And 2 months later, i change it again to 1MM length, thrice a week.
Does this seem like a good and safe idea? I do want results but I don't wanna be hasty and damage anything. If anyone is currently doing something similar, please share your experience. And please give me advice.
And if anyone has any additional questions regarding my entire hair routine. Then feel free to ask me. 🙂

• Note * Not sure if this is the best subreddit for this question. Feel free to suggest others. Also I’m aware how harsh this may sound but I think it’s important to be clear when asking for advice.

I (28 M) find my mom (53 F) to be extremely immature, laughing at some of the most low-brow humour I’ve seen. And not being smart enough to keep up with the jokes my wife and I laugh about. She struggles to do seemingly simple tasks like cleaning up without unintentionally breaking/ruining something. We will be talking and she will ask us what the word we just used means like “elaborate” or “extract”. She doesn’t know what basic vegetables are like kale or Brussels sprouts. She keeps talking about cutting out her bad habits like soda but always ends up replacing it with another sugary thing like peace tea. When we go out to nice restaurants she chooses to wear raggedy house clothes with stains on them. She is increasingly socially oblivious, asking complete strangers what they said, thinking they were talking to her, when they had their back to us and was clearly talking to their people.
In fewer words, I think my mom is white trash.
This frustrates me because I never used to perceive her this way. But I had been apart from her for 10 years and in those 10 years I continued to change and grow and she also had her own life events that I’m sure impacted her personality. But I just can’t tell if she was always like this and I was too naive or ignorant to notice, or if she is just getting older. Keep in mind, she is only 53. I wouldn’t say that is an age where I would start to expect mental decline like this, if that is the case.
She is sort of living with us at the moment, and it has been taxing on my family. We feel like we don’t have any privacy anymore. She makes us uncomfortable a lot with her social obliviousness (staring, invading personal space, etc) and we sometimes find her stupidity to be frustrating. It often feels like “You should know this stuff. Why wouldn’t you know this?”. Such things include; knowing how to properly clean your dishes or your laundry. We are currently at a point where we need to think of her and treat her like someone with special needs. Because in a lot of ways, she is.
She might officially be moving in with us soon and I are kind of dreading it, but she kind of has nowhere else to go. I feel so cheated out of life, having to take care of her at the relatively young age of 53, when I’m just trying to get my life started. We rent, we have a daughter, soon to be a second child, and now bringing my mom in almost feels like we are getting a 3rd child.
Am I crazy, or is 53 really young to be moving in with your (adult) kids. She should be more self sufficient by this point in her life, right? I fear I am about to be cheated out of some really important years where it’s just my family, alone, building memories together. I was always prepared to have her live with us at some point, but this early just feels wrong.
I probably am, but I gotta ask…Am I an asshole here? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this change of perception of my mom, and how to accept who she is now.
TLDR: I think my mom is white trash and I’m struggling to cope with that.

salam everyone, i am a 19m arab student living in sydney for studies on the long term. since i came here last year, alhamdulillah i've been put through countless tests and i kept getting closer and closer to Allah.
im realllyyyy thankful to how close i am to him right now. however, it's backfiring a bit on me. i am a very big overthinker, so every single action i do, i question if haram or halal. ofc we all wanna avoid haram eventually, but lately ive been asking way too many questions about the tiniest details and how i couldn't get a higher level of jannah if i don't suffer in the dunya doing halal and more more. it comes down to "oh if i dont pray sunnah after fardh then Allah wont guarantee me a house in jannah, but i already recite ayatul kursi after fardh so why this why that?"
even when making dua, "no sheikh assim al hakeem said raising your hands is bid'a and you have to ask Allah in arabic" i know arabic alhamdulillah but i mistakenly ask it in english out of despair sometimes and i overthink that. i do tasbeeh, but the "astaghfirullah" doesnt come out perfect, will Allah count it? what if, what if? "dont swear!" "okay fair enough, holy crap hahaha" "no! holy crap is also haram!" and im not mentioning the family-related extreme religious problems
these examples are weak, my head is all over the place atm i cant really place my thoughts properly ro convey my overthinking of my religion. im sorry if this sounds like a rant more than an explanation/question. i dont like talking about myself a lot anymore but i just feel like being free of my shackles for a bit and do my 5 fardh prayers only for a while. any insight would really help, i dont think its a matter of low faith but i could be wrong. jazakum Allah

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The IELTS listening test can feel like a high-stakes audio marathon. For aspiring test-takers in Faridabad, acing this part requires effective practice. But with so many resources available, where do you begin? Fear not, future IELTS champions! This guide unveils the best resources for IELTS listening test practice in Faridabad, empowering you to conquer this crucial section.
Harness the Power of Coaching Institutes:
While self-study can be valuable, reputable IELTS coaching institutes in Faridabad offer a structured approach with numerous benefits. Experienced trainers provide a roadmap for success, demystifying the test format, question types, and effective listening strategies. They can also guide you through various listening tasks, from map labeling to summarizing lectures.
Coaching Institute Benefits:

• Targeted Practice: Coaches provide practice materials and exercises tailored to specific question types. This targeted approach allows you to focus on areas needing improvement and maximizes your score potential.
• Mock Tests and Exam Simulation: Coaching institutes conduct mock listening tests under timed conditions, replicating the actual exam environment. This helps you manage test anxiety, practice active listening skills, and develop effective note-taking techniques.
• Expert Feedback: Trainers analyze your performance on practice tests, pinpointing areas for improvement and offering valuable feedback on your listening comprehension.

Finding the Right Coaching Match:
Not all coaching institutes are created equal. When searching for the perfect fit in Faridabad, consider:

• Trainer Expertise: Look for trainers with experience in IELTS listening test preparation and a proven track record of student success.
• Class Size: Smaller class sizes allow for more personalized attention and opportunities to ask questions and refine your listening skills.
• Course Schedule: Choose a course that aligns with your learning style and schedule, offering evening or weekend options for working professionals.

Beyond Coaching: Unleashing Your Inner Active Listener:
Coaching isn't the only path to success. Here are some effective self-practice resources readily available in Faridabad:

• Online Resources: The internet is a treasure trove of free and paid IELTS listening test practice materials. Explore websites like the British Council's Road to IELTS and platforms offering practice tests, audio recordings with transcripts, and vocabulary building exercises.
• IELTS Listening Test Apps: Download mobile apps specifically designed for IELTS listening practice. These apps often offer a variety of exercises, timed practice tests, and customizable difficulty levels to cater to your learning pace.
• English Podcasts and Audiobooks: Immerse yourself in English by listening to podcasts and audiobooks on topics that interest you. This exposure to authentic English accents and natural conversations will enhance your listening comprehension and vocabulary.

Remember: Consistency is key! Regular practice, whether through coaching or self-directed methods, is paramount for success.
Sharpening Your Listening Skills:

• Develop Active Listening Skills: Don't just passively listen – actively engage with the audio. Anticipate upcoming information, identify keywords, and take clear notes to capture key details.
• Build Your Vocabulary: A strong vocabulary is crucial for understanding the listening passages. Focus on learning new words related to commonly tested topics in the IELTS exam.
• Practice with Diverse Accents: The IELTS listening test features speakers with various accents. Expose yourself to different accents by listening to English news from around the world or watching English movies and TV shows with subtitles.

Conclusion:
By combining coaching resources with self-directed practice, you can conquer the IELTS listening test in Faridabad. Remember, mastering active listening skills and building a strong foundation in English are essential for success. So, take the first step today! Explore coaching institutes, utilize online resources, and embark on your IELTS listening test practice journey. With dedication and the right approach, you'll be well on your way to achieving your target score and unlocking a world of opportunities.

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Hey Reddit
I (28M) recently asked my Friend's ex (25F) out on a date.
For Context, I first met her when they were dating and we hit it off pretty well. She bought me an Easter Egg at Easter time, we would hang out when he was working. We had a lot in common and overall got along very well.
When they broke up, he was pretty upset about it and I decided, out of respect, I wouldn't remain in contact with her.
Fast forward a couple on months. I was talking with a girl we both knew and we were getting a long great. I spoke with my friend (lets call him Tom) and told him that I was thinking about asking her out.
The following weekend, he tells me he has a date today with a really cute girl. I said "that's great man" as I was happy he was finally moving on.
I work at the local beach bar as their main bartender, I'm always on the bar and work pretty much every day of the week, especially weekends.
Whilst at work that day, I see Tom come in with the girl I had been talking with the past couple of weeks. To say that both myself and her were awkward was an understatement, you could cut the tension with a knife. I pulled myself together, got my head back in the room and played dumb. "Hey guys! I didn't know you were coming down today? Grab a seat I'll bring your drinks over". I was so pisssed.
Not only does he take the girl I like on a date, but he does it at my workplace. Dick move!
This is where I maybe the asshole. Immediately when I clocked off at around 6.30pm, I messaged his ex. "Hey, it's been a while. I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out for dinner with me sometime, you know on a date?"
she text back pretty fast and said "sure, I always thought you were a really nice guy"
We arranged a time that suited us both and it's all set.
Cue the part where I maybe the asshole. I told him yesterday that I have a date this Friday with a cute girl who I really like. Tom asked "oh really? who? you got any pictures?"
Me: Oh I think you know her pretty well (shows him texts from his exes number
He was so mad, he didn't say a word grabbed his coat and walked out.
We live together, but he never comes in my room. We've seen each other today and everything seems cool, but I feel a little smug for my very petty revenge.
So I guess what I'm asking is AITA for asking his ex out on a date?

So a person in my friend group was laid off several months ago and hasn't found anything, which sucks and I genuinely empathize having spent several months unemployed a few years ago after quitting a job where I struggled with the ethics of the work.She's asked a couple times if anyone knows something at their place for an inside referral, each time she's asked I've said "I'll look!" bc I'd be happy to help her like any other friend, and each time she's responded, both in person and in text, with some variation of "thanks, I'm off my high horse and happy for any help I can get". This has happened like 5 or 6 times, and each time she uses that phrase "off my high horse", and afaict she only uses it WRT me - others have said they'd look and she just texts "that'd be great!" or "thanks!", and that phrase just seems... insulting?
AIUI being on a high horse means you perceive others below you in some way (morally, socially, in their way of thinking), whether or not they actually are - getting off your high horse means you've condescended to or been pulled down to a lower level (rightly or wrongly), and that just seems a wild way to communicate accepting someone's offer to help that you requested? The implicit subtext to me is "previously, I was on my high horse, I wouldn't have stooped to that (and maybe kind of looked down on you before), but now that I'm lowly like you, I can settle for what you do". I didn't put this on her, she asked for help and I offered.
Some context:
We work in the same industry (engineers in tech), so it's not like I'd be sending a rocket surgeon apps to like clean beakers.
She's made a number of kind of inappropriate or hostile comments about my career, education, or income over the years which have made me uncomfortable, which I can explain more in detail if people need, but, it seems to be something she really focuses on about me, in like a very status-focused or competitive way? I've been told (and frankly observed) that she can be very insecure, and I'm wondering if this is an unfortunately rude expression of that?
I also wonder if I'm overreacting because maybe I'm sensitive about having accepted my current job? I'm not exactly scrapping the bottom, I work at a Big 5 tech company in a topical growth sector, from a strictly job and careerat race perspective, being at my current place is a desirable resume blurb with great comp and would open a lot of doors for most people. If you were someone who cared about compensation or the rat race, this would be a big leg up, and this woman has talked constantly about how she wants to be paid more and that the place that fired her underpaid her (and I believe her), whereas in Big Tech people are (I think) generally overpaid. That said, there are a ton of reasons to be critical of big tech and the rat race and say no, and TBH I weighed the consequences of working somewhere that does have questionable social impact for a couple days before I said yes, and while the perks of working where I am now were undeniable, I could've kept looking but didn't because I needed ajob. My resolution from that time was finding work is messy, you shouldn't (necessarily) judge someone for where they work because that is mostly outside people's control, and sometimes you just have to accept a job. In that light, I can see the "I'm off my high horse" as an inarticulate expression of thoughts I have had myself, and maybe I am learning I feel insecure about my own decision, but, even if that were true, it seems enough to just say what she said to other people? "thanks, I really appreciate it", so it's hard not to read some negative intent or impression toward me by using a phrase with subtextual condescension, esp. given the history of uncomfortable or provocative comments toward me.

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Wade took a breath as he picked up his old duffel bag, now loaded with his DD uniform and a few other items from the Ceres mines as he slotted it to his side, with the large band handle around his neck. Having gathered his belongings, he joined Tina, who was waiting near the ship's open bay door as he walked over to her. The couple watched several of the other troopers inside marching out as well, some carrying crates of supplies and items out of the craft as they departed for the base outside. Kelly was one of the last ones still on board, checking on a section of the cargo bay as she did what Wade presumed was some maintenance work.
With the way now clear, Wade and Tina stepped off the transport, glancing at the massive base around them as they touched the roughened pavement. Throughout the large landing port were several more chameleon dropships, their crews disembarking with similar items and loads of rescued drones aboard. Beyond the ships were several hangar bays and fighter craft, mostly A-20s and their space-borne cousins docked in lines going across the pad. And beyond the landing zone, towering over several buildings at the base, were the few cruisers docked to the large clamps holding them in place.
Walking ahead with Tina, Wade observed some of the departing Coalition troops as they neared one of several tents stationed near an inactive group of planes, the military personnel interacting and exchanging the crates with the Coalition officers upon reaching each other. Hearing a low roar of engines from afar, the lover drones looked upward to see the large USN warship that was present at the factory earlier, having followed the transport convoy home and now was beginning to descend for landing. Wade gave a silent gasp as he caught a glimpse of the ship's name and SIC number at the side, remembering it from the ship he and Ron saw while returning to Earth.
"Always a wondrous thing to see, isn't it Wade?" Tina said as she and her boyfriend watched the ship slowly come lower to the unoccupied dockyard clamps below it.
"Sure is, wonder how they built those babies?" Wade replied as the two looked upon the landing starship, the former worker drone smirking as he added, "I could've swore I saw that same exact ship over Henderson when Ron and I came back, before we got mugged earlier."
Tina glanced to Wade with surprise as she spoke up on his claim. "Really? Well, that had to be the one that helped our friends here back at the factory. I think I saw the same name on it too!"
"Wouldn't surprise me, seeing all that's happened today." Wade replied as he chortled a bit, Tina doing the same as the former spoke further. "I wonder, what kind of ship is the... Vickers again? You know?"
"Autumn class, dear. A heavy destroyer variant, not as strong as those enormous Yamato dreadnoughts or Adelaide battlecruisers, but she'll put up a good fight for whatever comes at her." Tina explained as she held back another chuckle, thinking of her education on various USN craft as she teased Wade lightly. "You know, I may just have to grab one of those ship roster tabs when we get in the base. I'd love to show you all they got in their arsenal."
Wade chortled again as he gave his thoughts on the idea. "Well, it wouldn't be bad to have a little more knowledge in ship-story."
Tina almost burst out laughing at his crude pun, Wade smiling at her as F and Nathan jogged over to the two, the latter carrying his own backpack behind him as he spoke. "Well, not a bad place, huh? You guys heading to the clearance station?"
"Oh yes, we were just admiring the ships around us while we walked." Tina said with a stifled laugh, easing herself as she chatted with her new friends. Wade, however, was quickly overcome with panic as he remembered something. Checking his pockets, his fears were confirmed as he failed to find one of his key possessions: his ID card. Wade felt he must have lost it when he was stripped of his old clothing while in the factory.
Oh no, guys? I don't think I can pass through." Wade said with greenish-yellow circles for eyes as Tina and the others looked to him in concern, the drone feeling through his pockets once more before stating his issue. "My ID, they must've taken it off me when they turned me into a disassembly drone!" Wade began to hyperventilate lightly as he grew fearful of the potential outcomes when they reached the security gate ahead. "Oouuugghh, if I don't have my ID, they'll have to keep me lo-"
"Wade, Wade... it's okay. I'll have them make a pass for you, surely we can get them to after getting them to understand what's happened." Tina stated as she put her hand to Wade's chest, who eased his panic as he looked to his girlfriend.
"Yeah, and besides Wade, those people over there went around gathering what ever items the company stole from the drones during their conversion. I'm sure that once they find it, they'll have it sent off to be given back to you!" Nathan said as F nodded in agreement, shunting Wade's panic out of him with their words as he replied to the hopeful responses.
"Right, yeah, they should do that. Sorry." Holding Tina's hand, Wade spoke to her once more. "Lead the way."
Tina nodded to Wade before the two began to walk over to the security gate nearby, several people, drones and humans alike, already in the line as they checked themselves in to the base to relax after the hard-fought battle. Once they reached the line, the four stood together as they waited for the line to slowly go up, more troops and rescued drones coming over to add to the long line. During the wait, a loud, mechanical 'SLAM' erupted through the air, prompting Wade and Tina to glance over to the direction of the noise. The two felt at ease once more as they saw the Vickers finally landed at the base, the loud clang being the docking clamps attaching to the ships hull just moments ago.
As the line moved up further to the gate, Wade and Tina caught sight of a pair of A-20 aircraft passing over them, the two watching as the planes slowed down while descending onto the runway nearby. The four drones' collective viewing of the fighters landing ceased as they caught sight of J, who took flight as she departed the transport nearby before flying over to the tents near the hangar bays.
"Huh, wonder what she's over there for?" Nathan said as he observed J landing onto the ground in front of one of the tents.
"Probably checking on the drones we got back, or meeting up with one of those commanders there." F said as she motioned an arm towards the tents, J walking under one as she made her way to one of the soldiers coming over to her. "Seems like the latter, from the looks of it."
Wade shrugged as he responded to the group's pondering over J's actions. "Well, she'll be here with us if we need her, right? Shouldn't be much to worry about."
Returning their focus to the line ahead, Wade and his team waited as the line moved up over the next few minutes, moving impressively fast as the people in front cleared themselves in one at a time. Eventually, the four of them were up, Tina stepping up to show her ID for clearance. "Hello, it's been a busy day, hasn't it?"
The security agent smirked at Tina's small-talk. "Hah, not too busy here until you all showed up."
As the guard finished scanning Tina's ID, she handed the card back to her as she raised a finger to begin her request. "Oh, um, there's a little issue we need to resolve." Putting a hand to Wade's arm, Tina explained her boyfriend. "This is my dear friend Wade, Wade Carter. We both managed to escape that blasted factory with the help of those Coalition folks there." Wade gave a pleading look as Tina continued. "Unfortunately, Wade was converted into a disassembly drone before he was rescued, and it seems those people at the company took all his belongings he had on him, including his ID. Do you think there's... anyway you could write up something to let him by?"
Stepping forward, F gave her end of the story. "I can vouch for him, Ma'am. Wade and I we're among the teams helping in getting the worker drones out of the factory during the operation." The disassembly drone pulled out a pair of cards as she finished her explanation, one of them being her company-issued Disassembly Service Passcard, which resembled a normal civilian ID in appearance, save for the 'JCJenson (In Spaaace!) Logo on the top left and hazard markings around the rim of the card. As for the other card, it was a well worn, still legitimate ID card, showing F as how she appeared when she was a worker drone. At the side of her picture was a name with an initial. "FELICITY A LEE"
Taking the two cards in her hand, she looked them over and scanned them as Nathan tried to back Wade up as well. "So can I, Ma'am! I helped there too, when he was under the company's control. We all got him out of the factory so we could get him back in order." Pulling out his own ID, Nathan handed it out as the guard returned F's IDs to her.
The guard accepted Nathan's ID as she spoke over what to do with Wade. "Well, normally it takes clearance from higher ranked personnel here to allow someone inside without a legitimate form of identification. We can't just take someone's word on things like this, after all." Tina seemed to frown in disappointment as the guard explained her protocols, Wade looking down at the ground as he felt his worries were about to be proven correct. Going over Nathan's ID further, she gave an intrigued expression at the card before continuing. "Huh, interesting. Got two veteran folks here, I see?" She glanced to Nathan and F as she said that, taking into account their former military background as the former spoke up.
"Three, actually. My pal Kurtis is somewhere back there, I think. He should be heading down here later this evening." The guard glanced back at Nathan's ID as she took in the veteran drone's reply, sighing as she decided to make a slight amendment to the issue put before her and the four friends.
"Well, seeing you two here, I believe I can write something up. The Major won't be happy with me for this, but I think I can trust you with appropriate behavior." Taking a small sticky name-tag, the woman pulled out a pen before starting to write on it. Initially, she glanced to Wade, who stated his name again before she began to write his name on the tag. Once she was finished, the guard gave the tag to Wade, who slapped it onto his jacket before she spoke to him. "You should be fine to enter for the most part, just stick close to your friends and don't cause any trouble. Understood?"
Wade gave a stern salute to the security officer, who held back a chuckle at the honest, yet amusing effort the disassembly drone showed to her. Giving a simple nod and a flick of her hand, she permitted Wade and his friends entrance to the base, the four walking past the walkway barricades as they made their way past the gate.
Wade let out a heavy sigh of relief as he thanked his allies. "I owe you both so much for this, thanks!"
"Don't mention it, Wade." F said warmly as she and Nathan laughed at his joyful face.
"Yeah, just doing what any good friend should." Nathan said as Tina wrapped an arm around Wade, holding him tightly as the two walked together.
Looking to his girlfriend, Wade spoke to Tina about what to do next. "Well, since we're in, you wanna go fi-" He ceased his words as he remembered that there was someone else they needed to find amongst the base. "Oh, I almost forgot about her,"
"Jasmine!" Tina and Wade said aloud together as the former remembered her sister, Wade's words snapping her mind to Jasmine in an instant. "We should look for her, you think she might be here somewhere?"
"Probably. If they got Ron after they captured me, they have to 've picked her up too." Wade stated, Nathan raising a hand as he offered to help.
"I could go looking for her! You know what she looks like?" Readying a holo-projector, he tried to display an image of Jasmine from one of his many memories of her. The picture was, while pixelated and under a blue hue, incredibly well-detailed. And for Nathan, that was all he needed to see to note Jasmine's appearance in his memory. Nodding, he spoke again to his friends. "Got it! I'll see if she's around!" Then, turning to run down one of the paths leading to a nearby base facility, he stopped as he asked one more question. "Oh! One more thing, you got a smartcomm on ya, Wade?"
Readying one from his holo-projector hand, he nodded as he spoke into it. "Seems so, though I don't seem to have all my contacts added in."
Running back over, Nathan pulled out his own smartcomm before putting it up against Wade's hand one, allowing the two devices to exchange information. Upon the devices beeping, Wade and Nathan nodded to each other, the former ignoring a pop-up that stated, "New Contact Added" while the latter spoke once more. "Okay, I'll call you once I spot her!" With that, he began running down the path once more, intent on finding Tina's sister at the base, wherever she could be.
"Fowley! Her last name's Fowley!" Tina said aloud to the departing Nathan, hoping he heard her words before turning away from the miner drone and facing Wade and F again.
As Tina sighed in partial relief, Wade put his own arm around her before asking the question he tried to ask before. "So, uh, with that out of the way for now... You wanna go look for one of those ship tabs?"
Putting a hand to Wade's chest, Tina smiled as she replied. "Oh, certainly." Then, as the three began walking down a different path that Nathan hadn't taken, the pilot drone continued with a chuckle. "I hear they have a place here that sells model kits too!"
...
Jasmine sat in silent sorrow as she took another gulp of her glass of Proxi-Vodka, a tasty, but heavy alcoholic beverage produced at the colony of Proxima 2... and one of Jasmine's preferred drinks to have when she wasn't in a good mood. When she awoke after being stunned by the station guards, she found that she was just recovered by a group that called themselves the 'United Earth Coalition', and that her drone friend, Tina, was unfortunately taken by the JCJenson corporation to be turned into one of their horrid disassembly drones. While the people that saved her offered to help her find Tina, so far there had been no luck in doing so. No successful calls, no response from Wade nor Ron, nothing.
The whole situation widdled at her like scrapes to her form, slowly draining any bit of hope that she had in finding her sister. And once the mission at that factory was over, the ship began heading back to the Nellis Base to escort the recovered drones back to a safe area. Unfortunately for Jasmine, Tina's presence was not given confirmation. Alone, she walked off to one of the bars down at the base, specifically Drexler's Cantina, one of the more popular bars down at the military starport. Thankfully, though she didn't openly exhibit feelings of wanting to be alone in her wallowing, she was glad the place was nearly barren of patrons, with only a few at a couple of tables within the bar.
The stage at the back of the bar also had a few singer drones performing aloud, the lead singer girl reciting the words of a quiet, yet exciting song that, instrumentally, consisted of a strange mix of bass, techno, and a hint of opera. The song itself was one Jasmine had heard a good many times before in her life, known as, 'You Complete My World' by a decades old Earth band by the name of HeartStar. The song, as Jasmine and many others who'd heard it interpreted it, was about someone who described their world like a puzzle, and that the one whom the main singer cared for beyond all was the only thing that could keep their world from shattering into ruin before them.
An oddly fitting tune, given what had just happened on the JCJ Central earlier. For all Jasmine knew, Tina was either alive beyond her knowledge, hopefully searching for her wherever she could, or, the answer Jasmine feared... Dead.
Not wanting to even consider the thought, the human pilot took another swig of the colonial Vodka, relishing in its taste before forcing herself to swallow, almost gagging from the strength of the drink. Easing herself, she glanced out to one of the windows of the bar, taking the faint glimpse of night into her eyes. Then, looking to the clock at the wall ahead of her, she saw the time was about a little over an hour to 10 pm. Jasmine gave a sigh to herself, certain she would be alone for the rest of the night.
Unbeknownst to her, however, Jasmine had been spied upon a little while ago. Nathan, in his search for the woman Tina called Jasmine Fowley, had spotted a woman matching the physical appearance of the target. Knowing Jasmine wouldn't know who he was if he tried to talk to her himself, Nathan immediately went looking for Wade, easing his return to his team by calling the former worker drone and signaling him about his findings.
Deciding to check on the news, Jasmine slowly pulled out her smartcomm, resisting her urge to press the contacts button as she tapped the news app. Looking through it, she spotted a recent story that was posted just over an hour ago, titled, "JCJenson 'Recall' effort sabotaged by joint Government/Militia forces! The Truth Exposed!" Above the article was a video, a play button in front of it teasing Jasmine. Curious over this sudden development, she pressed the button, her attention in complete focus on the video as it began to play.
After the news station's logo appeared on-screen for a short few seconds, the current host for the story, Mrs. Tiffany Joy, appeared at her seat before beginning the story. "Good evening, this is Nevada-78, I'm your host, Tiffany Joy. Tonight, we start with a rapid development for the 'drone recall' incidents propagated by the business conglomerate JCJenson In Space. Throughout the afternoon up to now, several advanced factories under the ownership of the corporation have fallen under violent assault by various militarized forces, ranging from official United Nations operatives to private militia groups with varying goals." The small screen to Joy's left shifted to show the state of Nevada, zooming into it to show a portion of the Mojave desert as Joy continued her story.
"Among these facilities, one such factory based right here in southern Nevada has recently succumbed to the successful efforts of the USN Defense Force and a group by the name of the United Earth Coalition, an alliance consisting of humans and automatons working to create a unified world for both species." The screen shifted again to show the logo for the UEC, which appeared as one half of a human head outline and another of a drone's, along with two arms behind the heads belonging to both beings pictured. "With the attack having concluded just hours ago, we have reporters gathering at the New Nellis Staryards near Henderson City to bring you the aftermath of the conflict. We go to Mr. Jelico, on the scene in five."
The camera shifted after the countdown of five to show Mr. Jelico in front of the camera, the cameraman filming a large tent housing several worker drones being tended to by the base soldiers. "Alright, Jelico here, we're on station at New Nellis. What you're all seeing here are some of the recovered worker drones, many of them were pretty spooked by the events that unfolded in that factory earlier." As the camera panned over the lot of drones, some of them looked to the camera, curious at the news crew filming them as Jelico continued. "A few of them are real glad to be here, Joy. Seems like they feel safe here, as far as I can tell."
As the camera moved to show Jelico again, a plane could be seen taking off as he spoke. "Yeah, these people did them quite a service. The staff here are working to find their original owners and families, it'll probably be a little bit before they can get them all home." The camera switched once again to another view of the base, the lights of various buildings illuminating the night as the news story continued.
At the entrance, Nathan pushed open the door to the bar, the chime failing to catch anyone's attention as he, Wade, F and Tina stepped inside. Carefully pointing at Jasmine, he whispered to Tina, "That's her, from the looks of it. She's been here for a good minute!"
Taking another drink of the Proxi-Vodka, Jasmine listened further to the story. "The authorities didn't just recover a majority of the worker drones taken into the factory, however. A recent update provided by Mrs. Yuka, shows her interviewing a disassembly drone who claims to be among the unfortunate drones the assault force failed to save before their conversion."
"Jasmine!" Tina called out, the voice instantly grabbing the woman's attention as she paused the news story. Swiftly turning her head, her heart began pounding with immense excitement as she saw her drone sister, who grinned upon seeing her face.
"Tina!" Jasmine said aloud, somewhat weakly from her previous wallowing as she tried to run over to her sister, landing on her knees as the two embraced in a flush of emotions. Wade and his friends stood behind the two girls as they hugged each other, clinging onto one another as tightly as they could give. Jasmine seemed to erupt with a pained cough as she allowed some of her sorrow out of her heart, Tina carressing her back in a comforting manner as she held back her own tears. The sisters held the hug for a long moment, not daring to let go of one another for fear of losing each other again. Eventually, however, they did, the two sisters taking heavy breaths as Jasmine spoke up while wiping her face. "I thought I'd lost you."
"Can't say I didn't feel the same way, love." Tina replied as she broke out in light laughter, glancing to Wade before continuing. "But, fortunately, those Coalition boys helped out quite a bit. Though, not as much as my knight in his new armor."
Standing herself up, Jasmine took Tina's helping hand as she looked to the one her sister spoke of. A grateful smile formed on Jasmine's face as she saw Wade, standing in front of her and Tina as he returned the expression. Looking upon her family friend, Jasmine noticed something... different about Wade. He was taller now, his arms were shaped like white cones rather than the silver bendy tubes he and Tina normally had. As for his face, his pure green eyes were replaced with a set of greenish-yellow ones, and above his forehead was a band holding five yellow bulbs that she didn't know the function of.
While the pieces started to click together in her head, Jasmine took Wade's held out hand as she spoke to him. "Wade, I'm so glad to see you! You look different, too. Did something... happen to you?" She already guessed it by this point, but feigned confusion as she opted to hear Wade's take on the matter.
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind your sister dating a vampire from now on." Tina chortled in amusement at Wade's comment at himself, Jasmine raising an eyebrow in confusion at the former worker drone as he returned his expression to a more sincere smile. "The company got me too, and unlike the workers we got out... they managed to turn me into a disassembly drone. From now on, I'm gonna need to take in more oil than I usually did before I was turned. My cooling system's not as good as it should be, from what I've heard." Pulling out his two full canteens, Wade finished his partial explanation. "Don't worry, though. I've got some to keep me down."
Jasmine took in the news with immense surprise, noticing the hazard stripes at the rims of Wade's arms as she replied to her friend. "Oh... Well, if Tina's fine with it, then I see no problem with that, Wade." Admittedly, she was a bit unnerved by the change, concerned for both him and Tina's safety due to this supposed oil coolant issue. Trying to sound as nice as she could on the matter, Jasmine hesitantly asked Wade, "Though... I am a bit concerned with that bad cooling problem you mention. You... don't think you would-"
"Hurt Tina?!" Wade assumed, understanding Jasmine's concern as he gave a horrified glance to the two sisters. Standing with his fists to his hips, he gave his answer to Jasmine's presumed question. "Don't even say such a thing, Jasmine. I'd rather overheat than dare strike her."
Admittedly amused as well as concerned for Wade's selflessness, Tina chuckled at him before speaking up on the matter. "Now now, Wade. It won't be so bad. We'll manage."
Jasmine nodded as she agreed with her sister's optimistic view on the problem. "Indeed we will, we always do." Then, taking notice of the other two drones in the room, Jasmine smiled at them before speaking again. "Ah, I see you brought some friends too."
Wade and Tina glanced over to Nathan and F upon Jasmine's statement, the two friends smiling pleasantly as Wade spoke up. "Oh, yeah. These are some of my work buddies from Ceres, Jasmine. This is Nathan, I first met him when Ron and I came to the mines, showed us around a bit too." Putting a hand on F's shoulder, Wade introduced her too. "And this is Serial Designation F, or, just F. She was one of the guards keeping watch on the place while we worked."
F seemed to blush out of embarrassment as she remembered her and Wade's first meeting. "I... did come off a little rough on them when they first came in, though. Stopped Nathan's touring run too. Just following colony protocol."
Nathan patted F's back as he tried to ease F's guilt. "Oh, it's nothing F. We had to start work in a few minutes anyway. Besides, it's a bit more fun exploring the place yourself without a guide." He winked at the others as he finished his praise. "Trust me, it really is."
Wade, Tina and Jasmine all chuckled at their friend's amusing words, F joining in as she replied to Nathan's encouragement. "Alright, alright."
Walking up to the two, Tina put her hand onto Nathan's as she gave her own praises. "And they may not look like it, dear, but Nathan and F were both formerly in the military, from what Wade's told me."
Jasmine gave a proud smirk at the two as she responded to her sister's claim. "Well, that's quite something. Did she tell you we used to fly for them some years back?"
"Oh, she did, Mrs. Fowley." Nathan replied as he chuckled lightly, F giving a smile of her own as she added her own part to the story.
"Yeah, and given what's happening now, maybe they might call you back for service again. Wade told me you two were excellent pilots."
It was now Jasmine's turn to blush as she chuckled from the compliment, knowing Wade's high praise for her and her sister's flying as she replied. "Well, I can't say that's wrong, Tina saved the day during the flight back here. We ran into an asteroid cluster while in the middle of a jump."
Wade patted Tina on her back as he quietly cheered his love on. "That's what I'm talking about, she's a wonder among the stars, I'm telling you!"
The group fell into an excited fit of laughter at the conversation, a few of the bar patrons taking notice of the bunch as they eventually ceased their joyful moment.
As everyone calmed down, Jasmine spoke up, intending to bring the discussion to another place. "Well, with all that said, it feels great to see you all here. It was such a terrible day after all those company folk showed up." Then, as she scanned the group of friends around her, she noticed someone else missing from this puzzle. "Hey, uh... is Ron here? Did he head off somewhere?"
The mood was quickly put down to a mournful aura as Wade and Tina glanced to the floor in sadness, Nathan and F giving uncomfortable postures as they awaited for someone to speak up on the matter.
Eventually, Wade was the one to open his mouth, breathing steadily as he tried to speak to Jasmine. "Um, Jasmine? Things, uh... really took a nose dive after we got captured. You think we could find a place to sit? It's a lot to talk about."
Looking to the four drones with concern, Jasmine eased her returning fear as she nodded to Wade in agreement. "...Sure, there's plenty of space at the table here." Pointing her arm to the table, which was surrounded by a U-shaped seating bench, Wade and his friends began to move to the table as Tina spoke up.
"I can get us some drinks for the talk, you all want anything?"
"Just some oil, thanks. "Wade answered as F and Nathan gave their own nods to Tina, the drone girl walking over to the bartender near the stage as she went to purchase some beverages.
Sitting down, Jasmine picked up her smartcomm from the table, glancing to it as she spoke up on her half-finished drink. "Heh, and to think I was drowning myself in this drag of a drink before. Probably have to find a different glass."
"Proxi-Vodka? Haven't seen you touch that since we lost Aunt Susan." Wade said solemnly as he examined Jasmine's drink, sighing as he reluctantly continued. "Well, maybe it can go for a few more sips."
Looking to the vodka, Jasmine nodded as she put her smartcomm in her pocket. "I figured, I didn't think this was gonna sound good."
"I wish it did." Wade replied as Tina walked back to the table, a plate of three oil glasses resting on her careful hand as she set it down.
After delivering the drinks, Tina took a seat next to Wade, holding his hand as Jasmine spoke up. "So, where do we start this terrible story?"
Wade gulped a bit as he began to recount the events that transpired today. "Well, it all started when Ron and I came back from the mining colony."

To start off with I live in a house share of 3 individuals and a dog, we are previous childhood friends. One flatmate is extremely antisocial and I am trying to figure out if I have been gaslit.
To give some context I’ve been living with my flatmates partner against my will since September 2023. Both me and my other flatmate tried to make clear we were uncomfortable about this months ago. He is extremely messy and had previously punched other men whilst drunk on more than one occasion. We gave these as reasons for us not wanting to be left alone with him in the house. Instead he was given a house key and it took months for this to be readdressed, any discussions we had were forgotten and messages we would send were ignored. In April 2024 we have been told his housing situation was “tricky” and that the flatmate in question needed him here as he was her only support system. She did not give the option of him moving out but instead told us he might be moving out in May 2024. In those 6 months we have been forced to pay his food bill for weeks (we previously had a communal food supply and had to separate and label our food because she kept feeding him without any contribution ) We have had to clean up continually for them both (both of them are very messy and often left spaces needing to be cleaned before being used.) We are told that because food is now separate bringing this up as an example of her disrespect is unacceptable. I have brought up that it is still extra labor in having to clean more often, and spend more money for cleaning products and was told that isn’t true and that they contribute fairly ( Since discussions of us feeling extremely used he has occasionally replaced coffee and toilet paper, paid bills once as of April 2024, does the dishes and occasionally does the bins) we are the ones doing most of the cleaning and always have done so this is an unfair split of labour in my opinion (the dog is also hers so we are cleaning up after 2 adults and a dog)
Neither of them have attempted to communicate over anything, my flatmates partner turned up one day with his dad and moved his things, when I told my flatmate this was not cool they laughed in my face and made a dismissive joke. Neither of them communicated to us that he had been thrown out of his previous house and would be living here. We would just find him in the house when we were under the impression we were home alone.
I realise I could have spoken to him directly, but for some reason was convinced that it would be snakey towards my flatmate to confront him and ask him why he felt so comfortable to dump his labour onto myself and my other flatmate as a 28yr old grown man, so instead everybody in the house just avoided each other with a very passive aggressive environment, in which we all participated in silent treatment. At its peak myself and the flatmate in question would be shoulder barging each other, which is very toxic and sad.
So far the reason given for him not ever cleaning up after himself was that he did not think it would be appropriate and we created a passive aggressive environment. ( We were very angry in this period, I myself even snapped on occasions where I raised my voice at my flatmate saying cruel things which I am ashamed of. This was in response to me feeling as though I was being used as a personal maid)
To give some more context to my own shitty behaviour spaces in the house were regularly left to a point of being unusable, unless we did it ourselves. This involved a months long flea infestation that was so severe you could not be in the house without being jumped on, we repeatedly tried to address this until the point we just dealt with it ourselves. I have had my TV broken when my flatmate was partying with friends which took months to even be acknowledged and not be told that it was not the right time to ask about it. Myself and my other flatmate have had to buy a separate fridge as we literally could not get our food into the houses shared fridge because we were left little space and were still having to regularly clean out others mouldy food. The dog is extremely reactive, he has anxiety and is often only given 2 or 3 short walks a week and spends the majority of his time in one bedroom, so being in the house with him means constant barking and he has been quite destructive. For months she would leave her dog whilst out partying and ignored all messages trying to bring up this forced labour.
Around this time something in me just broke, I actively tried to be petty and use a tit for tat mentality in how I treated her. This involved a lack of care for her items, refusing to do any labour for her, separating every single little thing, giving each other silent treatment. My OCD had been badly triggered after living in a flea infested house, this caused me to go into overdrive with cleaning where I would snap at any little mess. This was too much from me and it was a little controlling, but the situation was then reframed as me being “controlling” and not allowing my flatmate to ever relax in their house, rather than ever returning to the original upset of forced labour.
(I am going to give an example of a game she enjoyed playing with me here to try and explain what I feel has been done to me. She used to come over and start playfully hitting me, she would then ignore me saying no or stop, then when I blew up she would say don’t talk to me like that and frame it as me being angry and shouting at her inappropriately. I have had to address this with her and she has not played this game with me again, but I’ve seen her do it to someone else since and laugh in their face whilst visibly upsetting them, so I know they still enjoy doing it to others. Though just a silly game, this comfortability with ignoring a no and their ability to genuinely convince herself she hasn’t been given a boundary is one that bleeds into real life. )
On one occasion during an argument regarding labour I shouted at her to ‘fuck off back to neglecting your dog’ and I’m sure there were other things I probably said in an attempt to hurt her as much as I was hurting. I take zero pride in this and am deeply ashamed that I lowered myself to that behaviour. She herself belittled me in front of shared friends telling me “you never do anything for me you only do things for others you do nothing for me” over and over until I left the room. We had a huge row where she came down mid shower (as the hot water goes if multiple taps are on) whilst I was doing her dishes as the kitchen was a complete shit hole. I then told her no I’m not going to stop because i need to use my kitchen, and she told me i was disgusting for banning her from showering I told her she was disgusting for leaving the house as she did (I’m not exactly sure my exact words) she then told me “‘theres no room talking to you when ur like this”. Neither of us were right in this but I am giving it as an example of how toxic it is in the house.
A few days following this I said that if she refuses to discuss anything when she is leaving the house unusable for others and her partner is freeloading that I would report her to the landlord (I am not working on logic at this time but because I have been in fight or flight for months) she then told me it was disgusting to threaten her with homelessness and that she would never do something like that to me. I did not mean it as an intimidation tactic or maybe I did I’m not sure, it’s hard to think logically after being ignored over months.
After the threat I made to contact the landlord we discussed all of this, some of which she acknowledged, we both made an effort to apologise. However she tried to diminish the labour her and her partner purposefully used us for, would not give specifics about him moving out, and refused to apologise for belittling telling me she did not remember and it is not something she would ever say so she doesn’t know what I expect her to do. They told me I was not paying extra or doing more labour with an additional person living here. They have since cleaned the garden of bags of shit and dirty underwear that were left out for months, and made small efforts to be cleaner. However most of the house labour still falls onto us. (Some more context they very recently were injured and no longer can clean right now. This I understand completely however I would be lying if I didn’t feel burdened and obligated to now have to do that labour, or to help them with basic tasks when I can barely look at them without feeling sick, also I am still doing labour for her partner).
We have tried to meet her on every level for a very long time, previously we have had discussions about asking her when she is free rather than just dropping things on her, using a house chat, using a cleaning chart. We have tried to compromise and she has ignored all of these after agreeing to them. When I have gone to ask if she is free I have had her snap ‘what now’ I have seen her roll her eyes to others regarding a cleaning chart she agreed to because others were tired of cleaning for her, ignored all messages in the house chat.
My property has been repeatedly damaged or not taken care of as has others. I’ve had to spend over £100 easily. I am so tired of being ignored, laughed at or given no response at all to continual lack of consideration for others and their boundaries. My reactivity does need to be worked on, yes. However theres only so far people can be pushed before they snap, and I’m terrified that I’m going to break again.
When I’ve discussed this with others who have lived with her to see if they noticed this pattern of behaviour they knew exactly what I was talking about, which worries me.
To sum up I do not feel safe in this house, my back is permanently against the wall as I am just waiting for the next boundary violation at this point. This has already happened in truth as we recently received a letter saying we were overdue for council tax which threatened court if not paid off, I paid off mine and I didn’t bother to ask my flatmate to send over the remaining owed money as I am fed up of having all communication ignored and did not want to wait for her to be bothered to send me the money. If there is something that needs her attention you often need to ask for it to be done over and over which again is labour in the first place. As far as I’m aware this bill is still overdue as I have been completely ignored regarding it.
I do not think she truly realises that she has deeply traumatised myself and my flatmate through giving us no autonomy over who lives in this house or leaving us to care for her dog. My OCD is still pretty bad and being in this house or around her makes my skin crawl. So I guess I am wondering if I have been gaslit? Taking my own toxic behaviour into account I do not know whether I can criticise her or if I am being hypocritical in labelling her as toxic. My memory is too foggy to remember a lot of what has actually happened, but I have this of strong feeling of disillusionment that will not leave. I am stuck in this house until October 2024, and I am trying to just get on with it, but I can’t stop obsessing over what has happened, sometimes it’s all I can think about. I feel too guilty or snakey to contact the landlord as she is a longtime friend and I am afraid she will badmouth me to others if I do so. She is my childhood friend and everything in me is telling me that this isn’t how a friend should treat you. I am desperate to be free of this situation but we have been friends since childhood and she is currently injured and also experiencing a bereavement so I feel obligated to just leave her be. Should I still be trying to meet her needs or do I need to be selfish and remove this person from my life?

Hey guys, i know there is a chat to help new players, but as far as i am aware there is no option to help max level player who want to improve, not ingame at least. I mean players who know the systems, and generally know their way around the game, i am sure there are lots of players who are doing heroic raids currently and would like to improve to mythic, or would like to improve their m+ performance and rating, but feel stuck and dont really know why.
There are alot of guides how to press your 5-10 buttons in the right order, but i feel there is much more to it, and alot of questions and improvements are not obvious even to ask. How and why to setup your interface, everything keybinded, yes? if so are these useful keybinds? And much more.
I would be happy to help and i am sure there are players out there that would like to improve. What do you guys think about that and/or suggest?

I choose to SS 100% of my bonus but employer missed to process it - completely. So the entire bonus was paid as part of March payroll income into my bank account. Added complication (or isn't?) that was the last month for tax year 2023/24. This meant less yearly sums in my pension than I planned and more importantly more tax (and NI?) for financial year 2023/24. Employer say they can't pay back bonus into SS but there have suggested options. Option 1: Increase ongoing monthly contribution Option 2: Make a direct one-off payment into pension account. Provider can claim basic tax against that and credit to my pension account. I'll have to claim higher rate tax through tax returns.
I am trying to understand A: if either option is better than other B: more importantly, am I not worst off overall in terms of extra tax/NI already paid in 2023/24 irrespective of what options I take now. Because apparently both options will contribute into pension (and relevant tax/NI reductions) from this point on (not backwards).
I couldn't find a thread with similar issue and I am hoping that I have explained the issue reasonably ok but please ask any questions and any thoughts you can share based on your experience/knowledge would be appreciated.

This is a long story, so bear with me please. English is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes. I don't by any means want to point a finger to anyone, just want to explain the background of our relationship.
I am together with my BS for 5,5 years. We know each other for 6.5 years. Our relationship started rather rocky. BS has commitment issues and didn't want a relationship at first. This has led him to cheating (kissing only) on me four times (that I know of). Three times during clubbing and under influence and one time while he was on vacation with family. This was during our first 1.5 year together. I found out and he confessed. He texted with some girls and one of them was one of the girls he cheated me with. During our relationship he had a friendship with one of his coworkers. He told me she was interested in him, but he not in her. They had been friends before BS and I knew each other. During New Years Eve 2022 he said under influence: 'I met with x (coworker) two times behind your back'. He said that I was too fragile and wouldn't understand him meeting with her, because I voiced that I was a bit intimidated with their relationship (they would spend long evenings together at each others house while being drunk and sometimes driving with their car). He met with her some other times and eventually I didn't hear anything from her again. I only met her once, she was drunk, but friendly. I went to a psychologist several times to discuss everything what happened.
Fast forward to New Year's eve 2024. I was clubbing with my BS, and two friends. There was a guy who wanted my friends instagram, but didn't give it to him. So I took his phone and entered her name. BS saw this and thought I was giving my instagram. I tried to explain what happened, but he wouldn't listen. He pushed me away so I went upstairs with said friend. The day after he barely remembered anything. I let him know that if this would happen again, I would leave (this wasn't the first time he was acting not okay while drunk).
Fast forward to January 2024. We went on a ski vacation with friends. I had a really good connection with one of BS friends (let's call him Jasper). I have known Jasper for more than 4 years. We always had a good friendship, but felt it developed even more during the vacation. He was very kind, caring and helpful. He is in a relationship of 10 years, she was also there on the vacation.
We've met a few times again with Jasper after the vacation, nothing happened. Jasper texted me beginning of March saying he would like to meet with me. I didn't say this to BS. We went for a run and had a very good talk about our relationships. He expressed his doubts about his. He texted me some time after again to go for a run. This time there was more tension in the air and he kissed me. We met five times in total and had foreplay once and sex once. I didn't know how to tell my BS, even though I should have told him immediately. I made an appointment with my psychologist mid April to help me approach the situation. But on the 24th of april, Jasper's GF called my BS and told him she found evidence that we cheated on them. My BS worlds collapsed. He would have never imagined I would do something like that and I completely understand him. This is so out of character for me (I don't want to minimize what I have done, but when I go out there are guys who will flirt with me but normally I am very good at maintaining boundaries). He first wanted me to move out and didn't want to talk to me. But in the meantime we have met four time. The first two times were pretty heavy. He was angry (understandable of course), sad and everything in between. He was very harsh to me and told me I was a psychopath. Of course I understand that he was filled with anger. He doubted everything about me and that I could lie so good.
AP and I cut off contact immediately.
I showed him the mail I send to the psychologist that I made an appointment before it came out, but I don't think that it made any difference (understandable again).
The third time we met, we talked about the situation and how this could have happened. I had a meeting with the psychologist the day before and told him about our conversation. I told him about our sex life that was rather dead (I tried to work and discuss it several times before, but nothing changed), I told him about our future perspective and that I was the one who always had to initiate talking about buying a home together (I lived in an appartment he bought) and lastly our communication pattern. He bottles a lot up and when he finally says what bothers him, it comes out rather harsh. Because of that, I am hurt and it makes it difficult for him again to discuss something.
We have met yesterday again. I was there for like nine hours. We discussed the situation again. He had some questions and I answered them truthfully. He says that I deal very well with the situation and that he sees that I do my best. He said that he feels 50/50 about our relationship. He said that he doesn't know if he sees a future with me. He says that I had the right reaction to see my psychologist again. He, unfortunately, doesn't want to do counseling. He says that he can block what happened sometimes, because the pain is too much. Other times he let the pain come. He said he misses me and still loves me. I asked if I have to move within a certain period. He said 'no'. I asked if he wants me to move away and he said 'I think it is better that you do.' After the serious talk, we watched two episodes of a series and played some boardgames. I told him that if he wants me to go away or if it is too much, he needs to tell me. But he said that it was fun. I told him that I am scared that we would rug sweep to much and don't talk about the elephant in the room. I also told him that I am aware that he can decide anytime not to talk to me again and that I know that one good day doesn't make everything right. He said that he can see that I know that. I asked him if he wants to work on our relationship together, but I think this question was too early because he deflected this question. I said I want to do everything in my power to make it work and even want to go to couple counseling.
When I left, he gave me a big hug and we cried a lot together. He said 'maybe we can meet again this week.' He asked me if I got home safe.
I really don't know where to go from here. I have hope that we can work on this together, but it is such a rollercoaster that I caused. Do you have any advice for me? Do I approach this the right way or not? Thank you so much in advance!

I am so unsure about my wife.

Dear Reddit. I come to you with my hat in my hand as I do not know what to do. I am split down the middle in terms of self respect, love, and fear.

I 36(M) have known my wife 35(F), since we were 18, and have been married since 2016

We have 2 kids M(8), F(9), a house, jobs, cars, dogs.

But things from the past have now come back to haunt me, and I am unsure about everything, about respect, love, pride, attractiveness, safe to say my mind is in the biggest turmoil it has ever been. I’m going to cut straight to the chase, with a little about me in order to get my point across as clear as I can.

We met young, and I found my soulmate with no prior experience with woman. She was my first everything, while I know that she has had a few sexual partners. This didn’t bother me at first, but years down the line I found out that while I was head over heels for this girl, she met with a random guy and had sex. (We were not a couple then, but became a few weeks later) She has not had many sexual partners; from what I’ve been told I am her 7th partner.

I must admit still to this day that, this episode doesn’t affect me much anymore, but with all that has/is happening right now its re-surfaces and stings like a needle.

Throughout our relationship she has done things that crosses my boundaries. Let me come with the examples here:

1) We were at a party with mutual friends, and one of our friends was hooking up with a guy, we went into their room and started teasing them as they were making out. Out of the blue, my wife, then girlfriend, grabbed his crotch and said “It’s not even hard” right in front of me, I obviously got furious, and we had a fight but made up over a few days.

2) During her school year, she had to travel to Germany with her class, and be with a German family as part of her education, sort of like an exchange student. While she was in Germany she went out with her entire class for drinks, and from what she says there was a few guys that was making moves on her, and since she got drunk and had no way to figure out how to get home safe to her exchange family, she decided to head home with one of her male classmates to his exchange family and went to sleep in his room. As she put it, he slept on the floor, and she slept in the bed. And he was a friend, not one of those making moves.

3) We were once again with mutual friends at a BBQ and was later heading out into the cityLife to hit up bars and discos. Me and my best friend were on the toilet, putting wax in our hair, putting on fresh cologne and all that jazz. She the suddenly burst in, saying she really needs to pee, proceeds to pull down her pants and thong, honestly from what I remember you could see everything. We had a big fight about this again.


4) This episode was last summer during two mutual friends that got married. She was the toastmaster, and after all was done, she needed to do a wardrobe change. We went to our hotel room; she got changed to another more comfortable dress. While walking back, we could see some of our mutual friends with their husbands, and she decided to lift up her entire dress up to the start of her bra and do a silly side-to-side dance. Everyone saw it no questions asked. I again got furious, and I told her calmly, that I will not tolerate this, and be disrespected like this, there is other men seeing what only I should be seeing. She apologized immediately, and I said, I don’t want to talk more about this now, as I don’t want to ruin the night. We didn’t talk about it afterwards.

5) This is a month ago. She was celebrating her 35 birthday and went out with all her girls. One of her girlfriends is addicted to social media, and she must post everything. I have a very strict rule when it comes to nights out, this goes both ways.

1. Don’t dance with other men!
2. Don’t go away from the venue alone!
3. Don’t take a pirate taxi, or a normal taxi home, call me instead!
4. Don’t flirt (This is a grey area, you cannot define flirting so if she flirts a little it’s fine, but don’t overdo it kind of way)
At this party I saw a video from the social media addicted girlfriend of hers on her snapchat story of my wife dancing and having a blast, she looked so good, and so happy, and I smiled when I saw it, quickly my smile faded away as a guy approached holding out both his hands towards my wife, and she looked different then, I can’t put it as to why, it’s like her personality changed, she looked very keen on going with this guy, to the dance floor, the exit, the toilets I don’t know because I could not see much from the video. What happened next is one of her other girlfriends grabbed her hard and pulled her away from the guy and the video ended.

I was the designated driver that night, so when she would call me in the night, I would come pick up her, and girlfriends and drive them home safely. But I got a call from one of her girlfriends that they could not find my wife anywhere and that she has been gone for like 30 minutes, they asked if I could track her from “Find my iPhone” but I have not saved her location so I could not. I got scared that she broke rule nr. 2 and that something bad might have happened.

Also in my mind, I thought about the video I saw, and then all else mentioned above. All the instances where she crossed my boundaries came flooding in. I am not proud of it. My first thought was her safety, the second thought was, did she envelope with this guy, and is doing something a married woman should not. Her girlfriend that called me, called me back 10 minutes later, saying they found her, and that she was just escorting the social media addicted girlfriend to her car, as she was not drinking, she basically broke rule nr. 2. I got relieved she was ok. But the pit in my stomach was still there.

I later picked them all up, and on the whole drive my wife obviously drunk, kept talking about nothing than men/boys “And then there was this guy” “And this guy looked like name of a friend we know” “and this guy reminded me so much of our boy” on and on, I was upset at this point, not showing it, but in my head I wanted to scream. All these emotions, all these times my line was crossed, the sex she had with another guy while I was in love with her. I know this is some sort of PTSD.

We got home, I put her to bed. And a few days went by, where I was silent, hurt, and went to the gym as much as I could as I could not look at her without being sad, hurt, angry. After about a week when we were lying in bed, I told her not to say anything but just to listen. It went something like this (it was not smooth at all, but I needed to get it out)

“In all our time together, you have touched a man’s crotch in front of me, went with another man and slept in the same room, not that I think anything happened between you two. You have basically shown your lady part, and butt to one of my best friends with me being present, at the wedding you decided to flash nearly your entire body to your girlfriends and their husbands in front of me, and lately at your birthday party (I explained the video) and then you were gone for like 40 minutes with no one knowing where you were. I’m not saying you did anything, but can you see how all of this puts a boulder in my stomach?”

She cried and said we have talked about this before, and we have, many times. I let say her piece. But in my mind, it went something like this:

“Yes we have talked about it many times before, but you keep triggering everything by crossing my boundaries, and you know it, so don’t cry and play the victim, this is your fault, and just because we have talked about it 2-4 times doesn’t mean that my feelings just disappear, feelings takes times, and when you constantly say sorry but then do it again, how am I suppose to heal?” I know I should have said this out loud, but I just got so small in the moment, as I opened up about some deep feelings.

This brings me to now. Why I am reaching out for external inputs on how to proceed.

I feel emasculated as a man, I feel disrespected, I do not feel like the most important person for her, I’m angry, hurt, and all of this has led me down following options none of which I want to do, but I feel like I must in order to respect myself, and say enough is enough.
1) I have been thinking of divorce.
2) Swallow my pride and move on, maybe talk it over with a professional.
3) Continue as always.
4) Give her an ultimatum, that if she crosses any of these in the future, I am gone for good.
It’s all very hard, because I love her so much, I love my kids, I don’t want to destroy everything. But I can’t handle being disrespected and emasculated any longer, and have my boundaries crossed again.

I trust her fully when she says nothing has ever happened, she is not that kind of girl, but you can always be surprised down the road.
Am I controlling, is this all justified in your eyes, am I wrong?
Any help, tips, how to proceed, personal opinions is welcome.
TL;DR Wife keeps crossing boundaries in the relationship, should I leave or stay?

The question: What is a reasonable amount of time before initiating the relationship conversation?
I (33F) have been seeing a guy (30M) for a couple months. We started talking all day every day after a night out with mutual friends. I am falling for him hard and fast, but I’m not sure where he truly stands. He treats me exceptionally well (which is something I’m not used to and that could be part of the reason I am so smitten), but we haven’t had any serious conversations about our feelings.
The nitty gritty: I recently got out of an abusive relationship and I’m afraid that he might have reservations because of it. I had been planning to leave my ex for a while and dissociated/checked out of the relationship long before I finally left. I have mentioned this to 30M, but he doesn’t ask questions and has said he doesn’t want to pry. In turn, I have tried to be as open and honest as I can about my past when the conversation goes that direction.
At this point, we have now gone on several dates, he comes over to my place to kiss and cuddle often, is always making physical contact (hand on thigh), etc. He makes it incredibly hard not to fall for him, but I’m not turned off by that in the slightest - I have realized that I am so into him and want it to be more! I admire his drive, passion, and kind nature. The sex is also some of the best I have ever had, but it seems we are both happy to just enjoy each other’s company without that, too.
I am afraid of getting stuck in situationship land, but don’t want to rush it either. I honestly have been hoping he would bring it up since he’s been treating me like a girlfriend, but I just can’t get a good read on it.
Maybe I’m just in my head too much.
Tl;dr* falling for situationship (30M) treating me (33F) like a gf but haven’t had the relationship talk. 2-3 months of seeing each other nearly every day.

I was dating a guy for around a month, but we were getting to know each other and texting for around 2 (I’ve known him for 9 months through work and chatting/seeing each other on a daily basis).
He seemed like the perfect gentleman and we had a really good first date. However, things got intense fast and it got to the point where he expected me to spend all of my days off with him, or else he’d get really upset and text me emotional rampages. I felt like nothing I did was ever enough and honestly just so guilty and responsible, but I was also trying to lead my own life healthily.
It got to the point where he’d be sending me his outfits before going out anywhere for my approval, etc. and it just put so much pressure on me. He started referring to me as ‘his baby’ and telling me about how his mum has special jewellery reserved for his future wife. I’ll admit this was really flattering, as he’s very attractive and seemed to have such a huge heart that I couldn’t help but want to make him happy. He was very generous and affectionate and everyone at worked like him because he was so sweet, so I thought I was in safe hands.
Anyway, after giving you background, we went to a gig last week and he was being really possessive and even suggested I’d got up to something with someone else in the toilets because I was in the queue for a while. I got upset and confronted him about it but he said he didn’t remember sending the text and seemed quite calm and rational, meanwhile I was crying. He ended up getting thrown out due to persistently vaping inside after being told not to. The security thought he was acting weird and wouldn’t let me leave with him until I got a taxi (alone, they made sure). He was constantly pleading and asking me what he’d done and even came over to the taxi begging to talk… he said he didn’t understand.
When I got home, I had 30 missed calls and over 100 texts begging me to speak to him, saying how much he cared, his heart was crushed, emotional gushing, etc. Then it turned to blame and him calling me a bitch and how this was me ‘finding a way out’ of the relationship. Then seconds later he’d go to pleading and emotional gushing. A few days before, after another outburst (I couldn’t see him that weekend) we had a long chat about how he gets like this when he drinks and if he doesn’t stop, I’m out. He promised he’d prove himself to me but ended up doing above ^ 2 days later. Because I blocked him, he used the work email to contact me pleading again and saying how it was killing him & he doesn’t know what happened.
I had to report him to the police and they’ve put an injunction out on him (not my request) and they arrested him and took his phone.
I can’t help but feel guilty and wonder if this has given him a wake up call to stop the drink (he’s in denial), if he really remembers what happened, etc. I guess my question is, from a BPD perspective, have I helped or made matters worse? I didn’t want to report but everyone said I should. What are your experiences, if any similar?

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