Could anyone please recommend a coveprotector for this mattress (king)?
No eating or drinking in bed, we just want to protect the mattress from breakdown due to body oils and preferably would like to maintain the mattress feel as much as possible. Organic non-toxic materials would be nice. As would not feeling like a shower curtain underneath. Read that it can retain some heat so whatever helps with that, and lastly we are not opposed to spending some $ here and/or in a sheet set if it truly makes sense (as they say, don’t go cheap now), but if a the cheaper options function the same, we are open to those. Thank you.

It sucks when your face shape is the primary factor affecting your attractiveness because there isn't really anything you can do to change it. I have predominantly more small, cute, and delicate features, and it totally clashes with my long, square face shape. It's hard to accept the fact that there isn't ever going to be anything I could ever do to fix that, no cosmetic procedures, not even really a way I can cover it up without drawing more unwanted attention to myself. At least issue regarding the nose and lips for example can be helped with a little bit of money; but face shape? There is no amount of money in the world that can shorten it or change its structure.
I just feel so depressed over it and the uncanny look it gives me. I just sit in my room hopelessly praying every day for a miracle, or that maybe it isn't as bad as it seems, but it always is.

Unlocking Email Automation in Excel VBA

Excel's versatility extends beyond data analysis and reporting, delving into the realm of automation that simplifies tedious tasks, such as email communications directly from your worksheets. The integration of Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) within Excel allows users to create custom functions, enabling the automation of creating and sending emails without leaving the comfort of their spreadsheet environment. This capability is particularly beneficial for professionals who rely on timely communication and data distribution, ensuring that reports, notifications, and updates are dispatched directly from their workbooks with minimal manual intervention.
However, navigating the VBA landscape to automate email operations can present challenges, particularly in ensuring the new mail item is prominently displayed in front of the worksheet and is sent after the contact is selected. Addressing this issue not only enhances the user experience by making email management more efficient within Excel but also leverages the full potential of Excel's automation capabilities. By streamlining these processes, users can focus more on their core tasks, knowing that their communication needs are handled efficiently and effectively.

Command	Description
CreateObject("Outlook.Application")	Creates an instance of Outlook Application, allowing VBA to control Outlook.
.CreateItem(0)	Creates a new email item.
.Display	Displays the email item to the user in Outlook.
.To, .CC, .BCC	Specifies the recipient(s) of the email in the To, CC, and BCC fields.
.Subject	Defines the subject of the email.
.Body	Sets the body content of the email.
.Send	Sends the email item.

Expanding Email Automation with Excel VBA

Delving deeper into the integration of Excel VBA for email automation unveils a powerful toolset at the disposal of users aiming to streamline their communication workflows directly from their spreadsheets. This capability is not just about sending basic emails; it's about creating a highly personalized and dynamic communication channel. Through VBA, Excel can interact with Outlook to manipulate various aspects of email creation, from adding attachments to customizing the email body with data directly sourced from the spreadsheet. This level of automation can significantly enhance productivity, especially for those dealing with customer inquiries, periodic reports, or regular updates that require personalization based on spreadsheet data.
Moreover, the automation process extends to handling responses. By automating email operations, users can set up rules within Outlook to sort incoming emails based on specific criteria, such as sender, subject, or keywords. This can be particularly useful for managing feedback or responses to the emails sent through Excel VBA. Such automation ensures that the workflow is not just one-way but creates a loop of communication that is both efficient and manageable. Implementing these advanced features requires a good understanding of both Excel VBA and Outlook's capabilities, highlighting the importance of integrating these powerful tools to maximize efficiency and effectiveness in professional communication.

Automating Outlook Emails from Excel VBA

VBA in Excel

 Dim outlookApp As Object Dim mailItem As Object Set outlookApp = CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Set mailItem = outlookApp.CreateItem(0) With mailItem .Display .To = "recipient@example.com" .CC = "ccrecipient@example.com" .BCC = "bccrecipient@example.com" .Subject = "Subject of the Email" .Body = "Body of the email" ' Add attachments and other email item properties here End With End Sub 

Enhancing Communication through Excel VBA

Integrating email automation within Excel using Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) significantly boosts the efficiency of communication processes, particularly in professional settings where time is of the essence. This integration allows for seamless creation, customization, and sending of emails directly from Excel, leveraging data within spreadsheets to personalize messages. The automation goes beyond mere convenience, enabling users to send bulk emails tailored to each recipient, schedule emails for future delivery, and even trigger emails based on specific events or conditions met within the spreadsheet. Such capabilities are invaluable for marketing campaigns, customer service follow-ups, and internal communication within organizations, ensuring that the right messages reach the right people at the right time.
Furthermore, Excel VBA's email automation can be enhanced with advanced features such as dynamic attachment inclusion, where files relevant to the spreadsheet's data or analysis are automatically attached to the outgoing emails. Users can also implement error handling to manage issues that may arise during the email sending process, such as invalid email addresses or network problems, ensuring that all communications are delivered successfully. With these advanced functionalities, Excel VBA becomes not just a tool for data management but a comprehensive solution for managing professional communications, reducing manual effort, and increasing the reliability and effectiveness of email interactions.

FAQs on Email Automation with Excel VBA

1. Question: Can Excel VBA send emails without Outlook?
2. Answer: Typically, Excel VBA uses Outlook for email automation, but it's possible to send emails via other email clients or SMTP servers with additional scripting and configuration.
3. Question: How do I attach files to an automated email in Excel VBA?
4. Answer: Use the .Attachments.Add method within your VBA script to attach files to your email. You can specify the file path directly in the code.
5. Question: Can I automate emails based on cell values in Excel?
6. Answer: Yes, by using VBA scripts, you can trigger email sending based on specific cell values or changes in the data within your spreadsheet.
7. Question: How do I ensure my automated emails are not marked as spam?
8. Answer: Ensure your emails have a clear subject line, avoid excessive links or attachments, and send emails through recognized email servers. Personalization can also help reduce the risk of being marked as spam.
9. Question: Is it possible to send HTML formatted emails with Excel VBA?
10. Answer: Yes, you can set the .HTMLBody property of the MailItem object to send emails in HTML format, allowing for rich text formatting, images, and links.
11. Question: Can automated emails include dynamic data from Excel?
12. Answer: Absolutely. You can dynamically insert data from your Excel sheets into the email's body or subject line, customizing each message based on the spreadsheet's contents.
13. Question: How do I schedule emails to be sent at a later time using Excel VBA?
14. Answer: Direct scheduling within VBA is complex; however, you can create the email and then use Outlook's Delay Delivery feature to specify a sending time.
15. Question: Can I send emails to multiple recipients using Excel VBA?
16. Answer: Yes, you can list multiple email addresses in the .To, .CC, or .BCC properties, separated by semicolons, to send emails to multiple recipients.
17. Question: How do I handle errors during the email sending process in VBA?
18. Answer: Implement error handling routines in your VBA script to catch and respond to errors, such as using Try...Catch blocks or checking for specific error codes.
19. Question: Is it necessary to have programming knowledge to automate emails with Excel VBA?
20. Answer: Basic programming knowledge is helpful for customizing and troubleshooting your VBA scripts, but many resources and templates are available to help beginners.

Mastering Excel VBA for Efficient Email Management

Excel VBA's email automation presents a transformative approach to managing communications, allowing users to leverage the powerful features of Excel to streamline their email-related tasks. By integrating VBA scripts, professionals can automate the sending of personalized emails, manage attachments, and even handle incoming responses, all within the familiar environment of Excel. This not only saves valuable time but also reduces the risk of errors associated with manual email handling. Furthermore, the ability to customize email content based on spreadsheet data ensures that communications are relevant and timely. As we continue to seek efficiencies in our professional workflows, the role of Excel VBA in automating and enhancing email communications cannot be overstated. It represents a significant step forward in how we manage data-driven communication, providing a robust toolset for professionals looking to optimize their email workflows and enhance their productivity.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/excel/automating-email-operations-in-excel-with-vba

I'm trying to propose my site implement them but am getting some uneasy resistance from management. Managements main concern is that the bracelets wont be updated properly.
My points are:

• way faster to check in an emergency situation.
• its another safety check. We already have wrist bands for patient identifiers and one for allergies. We are supposed to be checking those wrist bands every shift anyway
• Currently, we have the code statuses on the EHR and on a printed sheet with lots of information about all the patients. Nurses should be carrying them with them all the time but sometimes they are left at a desk, get misplaced, or not brought in to a room with infection precautions.
• It would be much safer when covering another nurse's assignment for breaks, where you aren't very familiar with their patients. Also applicable if you are sent to another floor where you are unfamiliar with their workflow, patients, or other staff.
• If a patient were to code in an area without a readily available computer like during transport to imaging, or common area of the hospital, we would still be able to know their code status.

There are a few scenarios to consider:

1. In a scenario where someone's code status is unknown, we default to full code, and stop compressions only if indicated once their code status is determined by going and checking "the source of truth" being the EHR.
2. A patient who is a DNR getting compressions briefly while confirming their code status before stopping is an unideal outcome, however;
3. For a patient that is a full code, a delay in compressions while confirming their code status is potentially life ending. We should plan for the scenario to reduce the most harm.

• code statuses don't change very frequently, and when they do, they are a high enough priority for the nurses to actually make that change in a timely manner. Patient code statuses are already updated on the patient information sheet based on the EHR, so it has been shown that we can update them properly.
• Another option would be to have coloured wrist bands for anyone wanting CPR as that is the most time sensitive aspect, with no special wrist band for anyone else.

I (41M) matched with her (28F) a couple of weeks ago and hit it off, she was the first to offer her phone number so we could chat outside the app. We chatted constantly with great banter and vested interest. Set up a date for last weekend (Sunday). She lives 2 hrs away but I was overdue for a road trip and was glad to find an excuse to get out of town. I suggested we go somewhere pretty and have a picnic (we're in the PNW so there's plenty of that) and settled on a beautiful park. I offered to pick her up but after a conversation she said she felt better if we just arrived in separate cars because she wanted the option of an "exit strategy" in case the "vibe wasn't there". I respected her boundaries and complied, it was our first meeting and I am completely flexible and respectful. I was raised a gentleman (Hispanic background) and I think chivalry is not dead. Not trying to virtue signal, just think being a decent person should be the norm and traditional values are not seen much these days. The day before, I went all over town getting goodies (charc, cheese, wine, fruit, wine, et al) to cover everything she'd told me she liked so we could have lots of options. I got to the park and we instantly hit it off, found a nice bench and had a lot of fun getting to know each other with good conversation, food, wine, laughter and eventually making out, which was wonderful. I told her I really liked our day and was willing to set time for her to keep hanging out, and that if she was down I would be back next weekend and get an Airbnb. I didn't just want to assume I could invite myself over to her house without her specifically being open to it and asking me so she wouldn't feel pressured. She was completely on board and I drove back home feeling really happy and excited. She wrote me back saying "so next week, we have some things to discuss. Really just one thing, but if we are going to continue spending time together it's important information. You should know that I have HSV. And I know that would give me pause, so I understand if that's a dealbreaker for you." I told her that it's not, and that I trusted she had a handle on it, and thanked her for being transparent . To which she said she definitely did have a handle on it. She sends me a picture of her and her mom when she was a baby so I could see how much she looks like her, it was her mom breastfeeding her "which is probably an overshare" to which I said not to worry and thank you for sharing that with me. I shared a picture of my mom so she could see the resemblance as well in return. Monday rolls around and she sends me a little video of her at work looking cute, had a little bit of texting back and forth and the rest of the day no further contact. She usually would text me after work when she'd free up and we talked till we called it a day, which was happening for at least a week before we even met in person. I sent her a trailer for a series we talked about, telling her to watch season 1 and I'd save season 2 to watch it together. No reply. This morning still no communication. I figured she was busy so I went ahead and booked the Airbnb for this weekend. Not 10 minutes go by after that that she texts me saying "I'm not sure we should hang out this week" I replied with "Really? ooof just booked the Airbnb, What's up? Sorry, I should've asked you" To which she replied "I'm just feeling sick, and frankly, I'm not sure if the attraction's mutual" To which I said "Oh wow. Didn't seem that way on Sunday. What changed? Just trying to understand." She wrote me back saying "Just a little reflection. I like your attention but the it would be disingenuous." Those words. Confusing. I answered "The it?" And she says "Sorry, brain fog. I am quite sick." I told her "Hmm ok. Hope you feel better. I'd be grateful if you could clear it up when you're up for it." I want to give her the benefit of the doubt because I really did feel good chemistry when we spent the day together, but part of me is saying that I'm simping and to let it go. I'm losing my trust in women and I feel very sad about it. I'd already erased the dating apps as soon as I got home that day because I thought I found someone worth investing my time with. We really did hit it off when we met, talked about making plans together and I really felt this was heading somewhere positive.
Dating sucks and as much as I really am making an effort nothing seems to stick. A similar situation happened about a month ago with another lady who at first seemed very invested and then just lost interest. By no means trying to put myself as a victim here and if anything writing it down helped me process so if you read so far thank you and if it relates to anything you've been through just want to say you're not alone.
TL;DR thought I really hit it off with a lady that gave me all the signs it was mutual down to making plans together and she pulled a 180º.

I should be grateful. It has been a hell of an 11 months since this journey started. I have had the best doctors and nurses and radiation techs and surgeons at one of the world’s leading breast cancer facilities. My insurance has covered more or less everything without tooo much of a fight. My mom traveled across the country to help take care of my daughter, and my husband job has been way more accommodating than I ever could have dreamed. We have wonderful neighbors and friends who have helped when I’ve had to travel out of state for treatment (which has been basically constant).
And yet….
I am 34 with no family history or genetic mutations for this (TNBC w/ positive lymph nodes), or the surprise bonus second primary (tall cell thyroid) cancer. I didn’t get PCR, but I am an excellent advocate for myself and searched for a clinical trial that I was eligible for and was accepted.
I started the clinical trial on 5/10 (this past Friday), and I even got the investigational arm that I desperately wanted. I really should have absolutely nothing to complain about. Everything has fallen into place and is coming up roses.
But my hair was just starting to get to a length that wasn’t immediately identifiable as “cancer patient/survivor.” I can fake a cute piece-y bob. I am doing scalp cooling, but I have 15 more rounds of the experimental drug and absolutely all documentation indicates it causes alopecia and scalp cooling isn’t effective. There is something about having to go back to covering my head again that really takes the wind out of my sails. That and the bruises on my arms and the fatigue and the puffiness from the steroids. I look at pictures of myself from a year ago and I don’t even look like the same person. It makes me so sad.
Why can’t I just be grateful that I am able to get the new promising drugs?

Two years ago, I had just moved to a new house from a different neighbourhood for work. I was settling in and getting used to the place, but I was still lonely and went through bouts of depression.
My ex-boyfriend of five years had ended the relationship a while before I moved, and I wasn't having much luck going on dates. I eventually decided to focus my energy into work and fitness instead, but the loneliness lingered. The house still felt empty at times, and the silence was painful. I went through the motions numbly as the days passed by.
About two months after I had moved in, I started noticed a stray dog pacing around my front yard from time to time. It had big, brown, sad eyes, and there was no collar around its neck. I couldn't tell you what breed it was - a reverse Google image search tells me it looks like an Indian Pariah dog. I could always recognize it, as its left eye was slightly larger and darker than the right, but that gave it some unique charm. After seeing it outside my front door for three days straight, I put up some posters along my street inviting anyone who might have lost a dog to call me. I quickly learned that I probably shouldn't have done that, after getting a few silent calls from an unknown number that I eventually chalked up to being a prankster or some scammer.
I called a local animal shelter and them pictures of the dog. A guy came over to scan the dog for a microchip, but found nothing. He said it was most likely abandoned as a puppy. He could take it back to the shelter, or I could look after it for the time being - they would contact me if anyone ever tried to claim it. My grandad had a german shepherd that I used to love playing with, so I always had a soft spot for dogs and agreed to look after it, even if it was for a while. The guy from the animal shelter advised that if I didn't hear back in a week, I should take it to the vet to get it checked out and microchipped, or to the shelter if I didn't want to keep it.
I took care of the dog and let it roam around the living room, with free access to the back yard. I decided to name him Charlie, and purchased more dog food, a labelled dog collar, some brushes to groom him with and dog toys. The nearest vet was a two hour drive away. Work was busy so I wasn't incredibly flexible for a visit, but I managed to get an appointment booked in two weeks' time.
The first night I spent with Charlie, I realized that he might just be what I needed in my life. Late in the evening, I sat on the couch looking at him, sitting quietly in the middle of the room on my wooden floor. I began talking out loud to Charlie. It seemed stupid at first, but the way he sat quietly and listened was comforting. After a while, I got more into it, and vented about my loneliness and frustrations to the point of tears.
How I stayed with my cheating, gaslighting ex-boyfriend because I was too insecure to be alone, until he dumped me. All my failed dates, and how I thought I would die alone and unloved. I poured my heart out to my new companion, spilling my deepest secrets until I cried myself to sleep. The next day, I again began talking to Charlie about the pain and depression I had been through, and he listened patiently once more. I discovered that spending time with my new friend was cathartic. Perhaps I needed to get it all out, and be listened to for once, even if not fully understood.
The third day after I had taken Charlie in, I woke up to realize that I'd overslept half an hour. I poured some food into Charlie's bowl and brushed my teeth at lightning speed, then grabbed my bag and flung the door open, ready to bolt into my car. A surprise greeted me at the front door, that made me stop.
There was a bouquet of red and pink roses on my front door step.
I picked it up and looked at it, confused. There was no note attached or anything. I couldn't think of who it would be from - I obviously hadn't been on any dates recently. Being late for work, I didn't have much time to ponder, so I dropped the roses back on my doorstep and drove off. During the drive, I panicked for a second at the thought that it could have been my ex, but then realized he didn't know my new address, or even that I had moved. The mystery bugged me all day at work. When I came back home, the roses were gone, so I assumed someone had accidentally left them at the wrong address.
That night, I woke to the sound of creaking. As I opened my eyes slightly, I saw something at the foot of my bed and bolted upright, adrenaline rushing through me. As the fogginess faded, my heart rate settled a little.
"It’s just you, Charlie," I sighed, "you scared me."
Charlie continued to stare at me from the foot of my bed. After a minute, he stood up and left the room. I didn't think much of it, and fell back asleep.
For the next week, I continued the usual ritual of talking to Charlie before I went to bed. I would talk about my day, my plans, hopes, dreams and other such things. I found our one way conversations getting more positive each day - they were very therapeutic. Charlie would always stare at me with those big brown eyes and sit quietly still as I talked.
On the morning of the vet appointment, for which I had taken the day off work, I noticed that my car was much cleaner than usual. Had it always been this shiny? I thought. I had driven it to work the Friday before, but I hadn't taken notice of how clean it was then. The last time I had, I could swear there were bird droppings on the back window, and some general grime that covered it all round, but it was now spotless. I pondered for a few seconds, and came to the conclusion that it must've just be a brain lapse on my part - it was probably always clean. Those droppings must have washed away over time with a few rainy nights.
I drove Charlie down to the vet and explained the story of how I'd found him.
"He's very well behaved," she beamed, as she began examining Charlie on the table. "We see a few of these cases from time to time. People's dogs have puppies, and they get sold or abandoned."
"It's a real shame," I sighed. "Charlie's been a star, I'm lucky to have him really. I live alone, so as odd as it sounds, I've been talking to him and it's helped me through some difficult moments."
"That's not strange at all," replied the vet, checking his teeth. "Owning a dog can do wonders for your mental health, especially if you live alo-"
She suddenly stopped.
I stared as she squinted and moved Charlie's head up and down, trying to get a look at something. She plucked a light out of her pocket and aimed it into Charlie's left eye.
"What's wrong?" I asked. She didn't answer, and kept looking at Charlie from different angles. He whimpered slightly.
"Did his eye look like this when you found him?" She asked. I leaned in closer.
"Yeah, I did notice his left eye was slightly darker and larger than his right."
She looked at me for a second and raised her eyebrows, then back at Charlie.
"I'd like to get a closer look at his eye and examine it in the next room, if that's okay?"
"Uh, sure," I said, confused.
Without further explanation, she hastily picked Charlie up and carried him off into a different room. I sat down and waited, reading the news on my phone, expecting her to be back in a few minutes. However, when the vet didn’t come back for a while, my concern began to grow. I paced around the room and tried to glance into the door she had left through a few times.
Then I sat back down and watched the minutes pass by, getting more anxious. Hopefully it's nothing, I thought to myself. An easily curable eye infection perhaps, or a defect he was born with - hopefully it was something like that or nothing. I'd only spent a few weeks with Charlie, but he was the best friend I'd ever had. I had told him so much about me, and he was the only one that had ever really listened to me. I had grown very attached to him quickly, so I almost felt like a worried parent, blaming myself for not bringing him to the vet sooner.
An hour and a half passed, but it felt like eternity. The vet finally came back through the door. I stood up.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Have you noticed any odd events recently?" she asked, "Like, anything you couldn't explain?"
"To do with Charlie?"
"No, just in general. Anything you've seen or heard around you that felt out of place in your life?" She insisted. I took a second to think.
"I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna be relevant," I said, "But I have a couple of times. For instance, this morning I thought my car was a lot cleaner than usual. I've been getting some unknown calls, and hearing some creaking noises at night lately, but I'm sure it's just Charlie walking around and waking me up. And… someone left roses on my front doorstep one day. Didn't say from who, but… Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this."
I looked up at the vet, who now had a very concerned look on her face.
"I'm going to have to call the police," she said.
It took a few seconds to register. A million thoughts started racing through my mind. Did I say something wrong? Did she think I was abusing Charlie?
"I swear," I said, "Everything I've told you is true, I'm really sorry it took me so long to bring him in, it's my first time owning a dog and all…"
"No, no, it's not that," she said. She gestured for me to follow her into the room through the door.
Charlie was sitting on a table in the middle of the room. There were a few other tables surrounding it, with dog toys and surgical equipment on them. There was a large hole where his left eye had been, now a gaping black cavity.
The vet pointed at a sheet of blue paper on a table next to the one Charlie was on. There were two black domes resting on it, like two halves of a black ping pong ball had been split in half. A clear fluid was covering the outer sides, and staining the blue paper. There was also a tiny black cube. I looked closer, and saw some red and green wires coming out of the tube.
"I took this out of Charlie's left eye," the vet explained, "I thought my eyes were fooling me, but I took a closer look and was sure this thing definitely shouldn't have been in his head. When I took it out, I thought it was some kind of prosthetic eye, until I heard something moving inside it. I opened it up, and found this."
She pointed at the tiny cube and picked it up with some tweezers, revealing a transparent circular window on one side.
"Now I'm no expert, but I took that apart just now and to me it looked a lot like the inside of a camera lens you'd get on a smartphone."
She looked back at me.
"Do you think…" She paused.
"Do you think it's possible someone could have been watching you for the past few days?"
The police were eventually called and an investigation started. The tiny device inside Charlie's eye was indeed a camera lens with a built in audio recording device, and it had a wireless connection. It was an advanced piece of kit, but with some technical expertise they were able to examine its traffic logs and identify an IP address to which the miniature device was streaming.
That IP address belonged to my neighbor, who lived in the house opposite to mine.
I had never seen him leave the house before, although when I moved in I did see his silhouette in the top floor window a couple of times. He was a fifty five year old balding, slightly overweight man who worked as an engineer, but otherwise lived a reclusive lifestyle. I later found out that he had multiple restraining orders placed against him from ex partners. He had a collection of tiny bugging devices which he had been planting in various places including public women's bathrooms for years. These devices could livestream video and audio to his computer, and in his spare time he would watch and listen to this footage he collected.
A while before I moved into the house, he had purchased a puppy from someone he knew, and kept it as a pet without registering it. I assume he got bored of spying on women in bathroom stalls, and when he saw me move into the house opposite, he suddenly got a wild idea of how he could get a peek at something more intimate. The rest is some truly horrific history.
Charlie had been in my room while I slept and even a couple of times while I undressed. But worst of all, I had told him everything about me. The names of previous partners, things about my family, companies I had worked for and more. I wish I could say that I kept Charlie, but I just couldn't. Not after that. The vet arranged for him to be sent to the animal shelter where I'm glad to say he eventually did find a new home. I also relocated and changed my phone number.
For anyone out there wondering, I'm still single. The difference is that nowadays, I'm completely at peace with being alone. I've experienced a worse alternative, that's for sure.

Sometimes i hug my sheets and pillows and imagine i have cute gf in my arms, i imagine that someone could love that ugly bastard that im, but she is depressed too, and we waste away in my bed, but at least togheder

hey, this is my first reddit post and i'll try to be as precise as possible and not prolong this too much.so sorry for grammar mistakes or if this seems chaotic i really don't know where else to turn.
so it all started before i was born. my mom is a woman raised where i was raised as well and my dad came from a country near by due to war. my mom was raised by an abusive mom (my abusive grandma) and by an absent dad(my grandpa was working a lot in the US). my dad was raised by okish parents, his dad died of lung cancer which is a thing my dad never overcame, and my grandma was a teacher who was strict but my dad has a lot of siblings so i guess they managed.
my mom has a brother who is older then her and is a successful businessman. my dad is the oldest of them 4, and is a teacher as well.
my mom and dad met bc of my dad being a teachers assistant and my mom going to his lessons. he is 7 yrs older then my mom so its not as weird as it sounds. eventually they started dating and got me in March of 2000. they divorced in 2006. officially, and were not together since 2004.
so early on i was in care of my abusive mom. she was emotionally and physically abusive from my first memory since 2014. when i decided to run away from "home" forever. i never had a place to call home. my moms place was always cluttered and i could not get any privacy o relax for a second or she would loose her shit. she was diagnosed with depression and cancer in 2017. and that crushed her to a spiraling depression and led me to be forever scared. my mom was so abusive that i had to put foundation on to cover bruises when i was 9 or 10. she called me a slut, garbage, a failure, a bitch etc. all of that stuck to me till this day. i was a straight A student but if i were to get B or god forbid B- i was punished in front of my friends, my relatives or at home. NOBODY SEEMED TO CARE. but everybody knew.
my dad had a very good job at the time. he had quite a bit of money so he'd send some to my mom to spend on me but now remembering i cant say that i remember her spending that amount on me. also i had no concept of money. i was a child. then i hit the age of 10\11 and developed some idea that this was not normal. so every time my mom would harm me i would find a way to call my dad and be crying and begging him to come and get me. i loved my dad the most back then. he would always brush it off or say we'll go to grandmas this weekend but it was only Wednesday so will i survive till then? but it didnt matter i trusted that man with my life.
and so after endless sleepless nights (thats why im short btw) and the never ending abuse, my dad would randomly show up and pick me up from like kinder garden or school like a was some kind of a cute lil pet. and not just that! he would buy me that one thing i wanted as all kids i think at least, have that one thing they like. so he'd buy it for me. and we would go to Mc Donalds since my mom forbid me that kind of food (i was a model and played flute so i ate only small amount of usually boiled rice and fish). so based on all this my dad was a superhero. i loved that man so much.
i forgot to mention but, i was in a mental institution since my dads wife is a doctor and a bitch so she thought it was a good idea to lock me up with seriously dangerous kids and make me stay there for 20 days till it was claimed that i am ok, just has a teenage behavior. i think i will never forgive them for that. im not sure but i think it was 2016.
until October of 2014. i decided to end this vicious cycle. my mom was hitting me and i had enough. i punched back. hard. and i ran through that door like my dad did and never looked back. mom and dad were looking for me for the whole night since i didnt grab my phone while all this was happening. i didnt care. i was with a guy who ended up to be the love of my life and would be killed by his friend in 2018.
after all of this i started to realize i was not small and vulnerable as i was before. so i started to live on the streets. i didnt eat, sleep or shower at home. sometimes i would sleep in front of peoples doors in buildings. i started to fail school. and again it was all my fault. my whole life was my fault. always.
one day my dad had enough since he was always looking for me and not sleeping. so he decided to put me in a campus while im in high school. thats not rly common over here btw. so i went. and i was mad since 150km from my hometown was a lot and my bf(that dude i talked abt already) was in jail so i felt like i was in jail too. i was bullied a lot. and s/harassed. my parents have no idea abt this tho.
so 2018. rolles up. my mom has survived cancer, my dad is proud cuz i graduated and everything seems to be fine. but it rly wasnt. as i mentioned my bf was k!lled that summer(a few days before his birthday) so i was completely alone now. i had some relationships but they didnt matter at all. i was and maybe still am, dead inside.
after that summer i came back to my hometown. this time my dad has planned for me to stay at my grandmas since shes far away from the city center and also has a whole house to her. thats when i developed a bunch of mental disorders, had my first panic attack, went to the hospital o the daily bases, was harassed on the street and had to seek help from a psychiatrist again. only this time i found out that i had depression and this and that and the other. after months of trying to figure out what is wrong with me my latest dr said that it was cptsd and anxiety and since then i have never been the same.
i have had recently an epileptic seizure as well so i am now 10x more terrified of the world. i cant go anywhere without really preparing for it. i was paralyzed for months and suddenly i live w my now boyfriend who doesn't understand shit, have parents who aren't capable of helping led alone love, and with a few friends. and a mean like 3 friends.
i feel so bad. i feel like i don't want to live anymore. please help me im too embarrassed to talk to anyone.
tnx if u read

We’ve been working on a Boring Topper with the goal to enhance comfort for sleepers that might find their current mattress slightly too firm. By adding an additional 2” of high-quality comfort foam, you’ll be able to augment the current mattress feel to something more soft and plush.
What are the specs?
Height: 2”
Foam Type: Fast-recovery foam (marketed in the industry as “Energex”)
Density: 3.0
Firmness: 14 IFD
Certification: CertiPUR-US
Is the topper compatible with my mattress?
If you’re purchasing a topper to improve the comfort of a mattress that is old and sagging, we would instead suggest investing into replacing the entire mattress.
Old mattresses often have compromised layers, losing their ability to rebound fully to their original shape. Trying to fix it with a topper layer will not fix the root cause of the poor comfort.
What makes it a “prototype”?
The prototype does not include a cover, but with or without a cover the comfort will feel the same. You can place it on top of your current mattress, and put sheets or a protector over the combined topper + mattress.
While in development, we’ve been sharing our topper with various customers to gather feedback. It has been promising thus far, helping improve the sleep of customers who might have otherwise experienced the mattress as being too firm.
Is there a trial period for the topper?
The Topper comes with a 99-night sleep trial. The same offered with our Boring Mattress.
Where can I buy the topper?
In exchange for your feedback, we are offering the Topper prototype with special pricing on our website here: https://www.boring.co/products/topper
We expect to release the Boring Topper with a cover in the coming 1-2 months, as we iterate on customer feedback.

This Sunday is Devil's Food Cake Day. They really will come up with one for anything (why not just celebrate it every day, anyway?).
It's also the anniversary of the beheading of Anne Boleyn. Don't forget which order they come in - it comes up more often than you'd think!
Come and join us at the Canonbury Tavern for the pub quiz!
What:
Pub Quiz - Exactly as it sounds! A quizmaster asks the questions and teams write down their answers. Questions cover a range of subjects and the quiz features picture and music rounds. It is all for fun and there is no pressure to memorise the encyclopaedia before coming.
Where:
The Canonbury Tavern https://maps.app.goo.gl/xocQRtc3PDJrQF676?g\_st=ic
Our tables are usually immediately on the left as you enter the pub, but you can ask staff for LSC when you arrive - there is usually someone with a laptop who has a record of bookings. We also post on the WhatsApp group where we are sitting (more on that below).
When:
Every Sunday, the pub quiz starts at 19:00, with the picture sheet being given out around 18:40. Tables are booked under "LSC" from 18:30. Two tables are booked but we will try to make any number work. We recommend arriving around 18:30-18:45 as you'll get to take a greater part in answering the picture sheet questions, but it's also really helpful in working out how many teams we'll have - as well as chatting beforehand!
How much:
£2.50 per person payable to the pub quiz people (Cashless only).
Who:
All are welcome. We typically make two teams with around 10 - 15 people.
Do I need to sign up / am I too late?:
Ideally, please leave a comment either on this post or in the WhatsApp group to let us know you're coming - with as much notice as possible - so we know how many teams we will be. It's not a huge problem to turn up after it starts, but try to be there on time to avoid missing the fun!
Do I need to be a whizz-kid, intellectual genius, or quizzing-extraordinaire?:
Nope, we do the quiz for fun.
Any Questions:
Write them into a comment and we will answer them - we are kind of into that.
We also have a WhatsApp group chat. Ask around on the day to be added.

My car's transmission is on the fritz, so it's in the shop and I'm working from home for at least today. Thank goodness I can even work from home, or things would be a lot more complicated. Anyways, that's just a bit of a vent. I've also decided that I might do little lore-esque prechapter bits for some extra flavor. Hope you guys enjoy them! I find them to be fun little thought experiments on how people might perceive the world I've created from within vs from my own perspective. Enjoy some crafting and some romance!
First Previous Next
We know that the spots that are caused by looking at a source of light are, in fact, damage of some sort to the eye. This is confirmed by the spots rapidly disappearing should someone be healed whilst experiencing them. But why? Is there a divinity within light, beyond what our mortal eyes can withstand? Is there some sort of invisible emanation that comes alongside the light that damages us in some way? The discovery of light damaging the eye has opened more questions for me than it has closed.
-Musings on the Relations of Light and Fire, by Jarwic Leftun
\***
Xander carefully opened the door, finding Gabrelle already asleep, and sat down on a chair. Maybe he could get that adaptive camouflage to work right on bright colors. Surely he had some colorful things in his inventory.
He did in fact have a few colorful things in his inventory, and he whiled the rest of the night away making small adjustments to the runic array that was embroidered into the cloth. He was satisfied before dawn, the cloth now performing as well with light colors as it had with darker colors. Now he just needed to make a cloak out of it. He briefly considered coating his armor with the array, but discarded it. There might be times where he’d want to be seen. Besides, a hooded cloak would better break up the outline of his figure, the ripples of fabric, especially if he were to crouch or lay prone, obscuring his outline even more. In little time at all, he had a long, deep hooded cloak of the color shifting, runed cloth in his hands. He stashed it in his inventory for now, as he had no particular need to sneak up on something right now. The rest of the time before dawn he spent silently sitting in the chair he’d chosen, trying to keep his thoughts to a minimum, just daydreaming. Night dreaming? He couldn’t sleep anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let his mind wander.
As the dawn came and the sun began to shine through the window of the room, Gabrelle slowly awoke, once more finding Xander sitting in a chair rather than in bed.
“Mmf,” She grunted as she stretched. “Morning, Xander. You got back late.”
“Morning, yourself,” Xander said, turning his head to look at Gabrelle. “Yeah... Yeah, I guess I did.”
“What were you doing, anyway?” She asked, curious. “You didn’t mention that you’d be out late, just that you were going to go to see Valteria at her shop.”
“I uh... went on a date.”
“I knew it! ‘Comparing notes’ was a date!” Gabrelle exclaimed triumphantly.
“It was not!” Xander complained. “But we went to a tavern in the evening and it sort of... turned into a date on the way there.”
“Awhh, that’s so cute,” Gabrelle said. “Did it go well? Is she nice? Did you kiss?”
“I think it went well. We talked a lot about different projects and ideas we had. I also got to meet another [Godsmarked] - he owns the tavern we went to. I think she’s nice. Maybe a little shy. I think she’s gotten used to being treated differently by people. I don’t think she really believed that I wanted to go on a date with her, at first. ...And yes. We kissed.”
“Ooooh, look at you! You’re growing up so fast!” Gabrelle teased.
“Oh hush. I’m older than you!” Xander huffed, then returned to seriousness. “But ah, if I’m going to be dating someone... we need to have a conversation, Gabrelle.”
“We need to stop sleeping together?” Gabrelle quickly deduced before Xander could say it himself.
“Yeah... It doesn’t feel right, even though it’s just platonic between us. I don’t think I would appreciate being in Valteria’s situation and knowing that the person I was seeing was sleeping with someone else at night.”
“Well, I figured this would happen eventually,” Gabrelle said. “Either you or I were bound to find someone eventually. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Don’t get me wrong, the snuggles were nice, but like I told you a while ago, I don’t have nearly as much trouble sleeping when I’m with the team.”
“Thanks for not being upset, Gabrelle.”
“You know this means you have to start paying for your own room, though, right?”
“Ah, shit, you’re right. I forgot.”
Xander left the room to allow Gabrelle some privacy to get dressed and meandered back down the stairs to see if any other members of the team were already up. Looking around, he spied Graffus eating breakfast at at table and moved to sit with the dwarf.
“Mornin’” Graffus greeted Xander through a mouthful of bread.
“Morning,” Xander greeted back.
“Glad to see you made it back, we were wondering if you’d be out all night,” Graffus told him, after swallowing his bread.
“I was out a bit late, I suppose. I let the time get away from me.” Xander said, not really wanted to be teased again about going out on a date. “So what are you planning to do today?”
“Bah, Frazay has roped me into helping her do research for the drakeling. So reading is what’s in store for me.” Graffus tore himself off another piece of bread from his plate and slathered it with jam. “You going to be going back to that [Tinker] you’ve been spending time with lately?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m supposed to learn more about converting mana types today, and also help her fix the suit of armor that I wrecked.”
“Welp,” Graffus said, now on his last piece of bread, “I hope ya learn something new. Never had much to do with [Tinker]s – not saying I dislike them, just that I haven’t had much experience with them – so it don’t make much sense to me. Using a hammer is about the only overlap in our professions.”
“I think your hammer is significantly larger than the one most [Tinker]s would use,” Xander chuckled. Thinking about what he should be doing before he headed to Valteria’s, he asked Graffus, “Hey, I might need to buy some monster parts or elemental cores, something like that, for practice. You know where I would go to find stuff like that?”
Graffus shrugged. “Dunno. My guess would be an alchemy and reagents shop. That’s generally what we’ve sold monster parts to that didn’t go to a smith or leatherworker.”
“Thanks, Graffus.”
The two of them chatted for a while longer, catching up on what each other had been doing. Graffus excused himself to finish getting ready for the day, saying he needed to tend to his beard, leaving Xander downstairs. Deciding to be productive and proactive, Xander stood as well and headed out of the inn to find an alchemy shop.
It wasn’t long before he found one, a familiar scene of an eclectic collection of powders, liquids, crystals, and strange organic things floating in jars inside the building. The proprietor was a dwarf, seated at a workbench. They were grinding something into a powder as Xander entered. He received a distracted greeting before the dwarf returned to his work.
Xander wandered about the shop for a few minutes, looking at the various materials throughout the shop. He identified what he thought might be an elemental core, a jagged piece of crystal looking material that seemed to have an inner flame. As for the monster parts in jars, Xander had no idea what was what. He finally felt he’d waited long enough and moved closer to the worktable that the dwarf was still sitting at, working away at the mortar and pestle.
“Excuse me,” Xander said, grabbing the shopkeep’s attention.
“Mm?” The dwarf said questioningly. “Can I help you find something?”
“I was wondering if you had any elemental cores. Something small, I just need one to practice with.”
“Aye, I’ve a few of them around the shop. You want something to practice with? So a relatively weak core, then – not all the small ones are weak. Do you need any particular type?” The dwarf stood up and stretched, moving to one of the shelves.
“Uhm no, just whatever is cost effective, I suppose.”
The alchemist rifled through the various bits and bobs on one of the shelves nearby before producing a small chip of what looked to be a semi-translucent stone. It was tinged slightly yellow with streaks of white. “This here is a chip off a lightning attuned core. Pretty weak, but it does still produce mana.”
Xander could see the dwarf’s arm hair standing up as if from static electicity as he held up the stone. “How much?” He asked.
“Twenty gold.”
Xander shrugged. Twenty gold wasn’t an issue for him anymore, and he didn’t feel like haggling. He always hated haggling. “Sure.” He fished out the coin and handed it over to the dwarf.
The dwarf handed over the stone to Xander and the pop of a static electric shock could be heard as a tiny arc passed between the two of them. The dwarf grunted and shook his hand. “Thanks for the business,” he told Xander. “Anything else you find yourself in need of?”
“Not at the moment, but thanks for asking.” Xander waved goodbye to the dwarf and pocketed the tiny elemental core. He continued down the street in the direction of Valteria’s shop, thinking about how he was going to undo the welding job he’d done on Valteria’s armor. He’d need her to guide his repair efforts.
Xander returned to the inn momentarily to grab one of his golems. He settled on Atlas for now, as it was the most basic of the humanoid forms he’d created. No extra arms or weird feet on him, no sir.
Arriving at the building that contained Valteria’s home and shop, Xander knocked before opening the door. “Morning,” he called out.
“Xander! Hello!” Valteria called out. She was at the same work bench she’d been at yesterday. Jarrett didn’t seem to be in the shop at the moment, as Xander wasn’t able to spot the man.
Commanding Atlas to follow him in and closing the door behind him, Xander started walking towards Valteria. “How’s it going?” He asked.
“Good, it’s going good,” Valteria responded as Xander brought a stool over to her workbench. “How about yourself?”
“Not bad. The upside of not sleeping is that I never struggle in the mornings now. I used to hate waking up.” Xander laughed. “I even ran an errand before I came here! Picked up this.” Xander fished around in his pocket until he found the small chip of elemental core and held it up for Valteria to see.
“Core?” She asked distractedly, staring at Atlas. She tore her eyes away and looked closely at the small crystalline stone. “Lightning attuned?”
“That’s what the [Alchemist] at the shop said,” Xander affirmed. “Said it was a very weak one, but that it did still produce mana.”
“Mmm, a good practice piece, then.”
“I thought it would be, too. Not that I know what to do with it, yet.”
“Well, how about this: I teach you to set the stone and make some conduit, and then you can help me fix my armor. All the glue has turned to dust by now, thank the gods.”
“Sounds fair enough. So, how do mana conduits work?”
“Well, the concept is simple enough. It’s a tube which conducts mana,” Valteria began to explain.
“Mmhm.” Xander nodded along.
“What you need is a setting – usually of silver, as it has good mana conductivity – which will be the first step of conduction, taking the mana from the stone. Simply wrapping the core in silver wire can work well enough, drawing in the mana that the core puts out through its surface, but for a more effecient setting, small holes are usually drilled into the core to set the wire into as well, giving more surface area to draw from.”
“So we care about the mana conductivity of the material, then? That makes sense, I just hadn’t thought about it. I actually did a little experiment with my rune work to test which fillings were the most conductive.”
“Oh really?” Valteria said, interested. “What were your results?”
“Well, gold and silver were high up there in conductivity, and probably make the most sense for someone who has to physically manipulate material without use of a skill – both for a core setting and for inlaying a rune – but I did find that sapphires and rubies were even more efficient at transferring mana than gold and silver.”
“Mmm... interesting. I’ve heard of gemstones being used in very high-grade settings, as well as various other exotic materials. I read an account of one [Mechanist] who used tubes of mercury to conduct mana, though the relative effectiveness compared to silver wasn’t mentioned.” Valteria cleared her throat. “Uhm, now, where was I? Right, basic settings. Once you have your core – or monster organ, if you’re going that route – you connect it to the conduit. Usually, this is also silver wiring. I like to braid several smaller wires together, personally. I find it to be sturdier and hold up to flexing better. From there, it needs to be tied into a device. Which is a topic for tomorrow.” Looking around the shop, Valteria seemed to identify something on one of the shelves nearby. “I have a core that you could watch me set, and then you could try setting your own, if you’d like.”
“That sounds good to me,” Xander said. “I always love to see a master as work,” he added, opting for a little flattery.
“Follow me, then.” Valteria said, standing up from her stool and waving for Xander to follow.
Xander followed Valteria as she walked over to the shelf she’d been looking at earlier and took a palm sized, bright green stone from it. “Nature attuned core,” She explained, holding it for Xander to see. “I’m told it was taken from some kind of moving tree.” Valteria then moved to another worktable, on which were several of what looked to be drill bits to Xander. There was also an apparatus that look like it was designed to hold the bits, which was confirmed for him when Valteria slotted one of the small drill heads into the device. “This thing,” Valteria said, waving the drill a little bit, “is a life saver. I used to have to drill holes with a hand cranked one. Worth every single coin I paid for it to get an enchanted one.” She turned a dial on one side of the handheld device, which Xander was coming to think of as a magic dremel tool, and it began to come to life, the drill bit beginning to spin with a quiet whirring sound.
“Neat.” Xander commented. He watched patiently as Valteria drilled a series of shallow holes in the stone, the distinct screeching of metal on stone echoing through the shop floor. “So where’s Jarrett today?” He asked.
“Oh, he has the day off today. He asked for it about a week ago, not sure what for, though,” Valteria said distractedly. Soon she was finished with the holes she was drilling into the core, and moved to another workbench. “Now we create a setting for the core. This is a fairly simple way of doing it, mind you, but it is effective.”
Xander watched as she took sections of pre-braided silver wire and fitted the ends into the holes she had drilled. Once each hole was filled with a section of wire, Valteria began to pull wire from a spool, wrapping the stone until it was completely covered with silver wire and binding the braided sections to the stone in the process. “There,” she said, setting the stone down on the workbench. “A perfectly serviceable setting."
“So, if I understand correctly, you coat the core in a mana conductive material – the more surface area, the better, hence the holes – to create a setting?”
“Mmhmm,” Valteria said, nodding.
“Seems fairly straighforward. And then you connect the silver wiring that’s wrapped around it to more wiring, and attach that to your device? Why the distance? Why not just connect the setting directly to the device?”
“You absolutely can, if space isn’t an issue. Technically, the connection between the mana battery and the device, even if it’s just a single point with no distance, is still referred to as a conduit, though, so it’s considered a three part creation.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you want to try making your own, now? I don’t mind lending you a little wire.”
“Sure, but I should be good on material, I can produce it with my skills. Doesn’t last without a source of mana, but I guess the core itself might provide enough. Think this little chip is a bit small to put holes in, though.”
Xander looked at the small piece of crystal in his hand. If he just need as much contact as possible with a mana conductive material, his best bet would be to embed it into a sapphire or ruby. He decided on ruby, for no particular reason. Still holding the chip of core in his hand, he concentrated on his [Creation] ability. Valteria watched, amazed, as a ruby began to take form and grow around the piece of core until it was completely coated in a thin layer of gemstone.
“So, you can just... make things?” Valteria asked, sounding jealous.
“Well, it costs mana, and anything I make that isn’t provided a source of mana that leaves my person disintegrates in a day, but, yes. I can just make things with my skills. But,” he added, cutting off Valteria’s complaint of unfairness, “I have never received a skill that actually lets me improve a material. Sure, I have runes, which generally makes up the difference, but I don’t have any skills that improve the things I make. So, if you made a mana battery, and I made a mana battery the same way with identical materials, yours is going to be better, I assume, because you have skills that passively improve the things that you make, am I right?”
“Okayyy,” Valteria huffed. “I guess that does make it a little less unfair. But ugh! It would be so nice not having to source materials.” She looked at the ruby with a piece of core set inside it that Xander had made. “Well, I guess that about does it for making a setting... I thought it might have taken you longer to make one. I guess we can move on to fixing my armor even sooner! It’ll be nice to have it up and moving again.”
“Sure, sure, we can do that. Where is it, anyway?” Xander asked, looking around the shop again like he somehow would have missed the eight foot tall suit of armor.
“It’s in a shed behind the house,” Valteria explained. “I have it on a hoist so I can work on it.”
“Ah, that would explain why I haven’t seen it around.”
Exiting the shop, stopping for Valteria to put a small ‘closed’ sign on the door, the two of them made their way around the building, where Xander saw the small shed that presumably held Valteria’s armor. It looked like it could just barely hold the armor and one person – two, if they were comfortable with each other – inside it.
“So this is where the magic happens?” Xander asked.
“If by ‘magic’ you mean maintenance and upgrades, then yes,” Valteria agreed. She opened the door of the shed, which comprised most of the front of the tiny little building, revealing her suit of armor, which was currently hanging from several chains attached to pulleys on the ceiling. Plates of armor were laying strewn about the suite, leaving the joints and inner workings more exposed.
Xander whistled, looking at the inner workings of the suit. He could see gears, cogs, and joints, and throughout the entirety of the armor were running filaments of silver wire, which he assumed were mana conduits running to and from elemental cores and the various mana powered aspects of the suit. “This thing really is impressive. Almost as impressive as the woman who made it,” he said.
Valteria giggled, “Stop it! You’re supposed to be fixing this mess, not flirting with me!”
“Awh, can’t I do both?” Xander asked, trying to sound as saccharine as possible.
“Mmm, I suppose that if you are sufficiently skilled at multitasking, I might allow it,” Valteria said in a mockingly thoughtful tone.
“Well, I just so happen to be an expert, so flirt away I shall,” Xander replied. “Now, how about the beauty in front of me shows me exactly where the other beauty in front of me needs some repairs?”
Valteria sighed at Xander’s antics, but he could see the slight flush in her face. “Well, you welded the wrist joints, elbows, and knees. They aren’t welded all the way round, it’s more like you smoothed over a portion of it like it was wet clay. So if you could just... put it back? Shape it back to how it was, that’s should be all that’s needed.”
“Pretty straightforward,” Xander said, standing behind Valteria as she pointed out each joint. He could see the misshapen parts where he’d slapped a weld onto the metal. He leaned over her and put his hands on the elbow joint that they were closest to and began to shape the metal back to its original form.
“You’re... very close,” Valteria murmured to him as he formed the metal.
“Would you like me not to be?” He asked, carefully.
Valteria was silent for a moment before answering, “No...” quietly.
Xander carefully shifted to be a little closer, but still not quite touching, as he moved on to the wrist joint of the same arm. The process itself was simple, but he was enjoying taking his time. As he finished the wrist, he turned to look at Valteria. He found himself looking right into her eyes, as she was staring back at him. Unable to resist the temptation he leaned in a little closer, gauging Valteria’s reaction. When she, too, leaned towards him, he closed the small gap between them, drawing her into another kiss. Valteria pressed herself against him, the shed hiding them from any prying eyes on the street, and let out a small noise as Xander squeezed her tight. She was breathing a little bit harder than before the kiss as they separated again.
Valteria let out a breath. “You’re… a really good kisser.”
“Yeah?” Xander said, pleased with himself. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“And you’re a tease, looming over me like that in this tiny little shed,” Valteria continued. “Now you’ve got me all flustered, how am I supposed to work now?” She mock complained.
Xander was glad to see that Valteria was comfortable enough with him to joke like that. “Forgive me,” he said formally, making a deep bow, “How ever can I make it up to the lady?”
“Oh stop it, I will tolerate no bowing and scraping, even in jest,” Valteria said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder, as he was still holding the bow. “You can make it up to me by fixing the rest of these joints! And by taking me out to dinner?” She added, hopefully.
“I think that can be arranged,” Xander said. “Is there anywhere you have in mind? I will admit, I haven’t become very familiar with the local restaurant scene, what with my… dietary restrictions.”
“It doesn’t… make you feel bad to go out to a restaurant, does it?” Valteria asked softly, watching his face for a reaction.
“Nah, don’t worry,” Xander said, waving off the question with one hand. “It doesn’t bother me too much. Sure, I miss the taste of a good cut of steak, but I was never that into food. Eating was more of a thing I did because I had to, so I’m not completely devastated by the loss. And I can still get some vicarious enjoyment out of watching someone else enjoy their food. Really the worst part is awkwardly having to refuse ordering anything,” he said with a laugh.
“Alright, if you say so,” Valteria said, letting out a slight breath of relief. “I was just worried that it might be upsetting to you, is all. I know I would miss eating.” She paused for a moment, something clearly on her mind. “What do you miss? If you don’t mind my asking. I just… well, I’m curious what it’s like for you.”
“Mmm, in a lot of ways, life is still the same, and in other ways, I’m technically doing better than I was before. I’m incredibly resistant to damage now, even without my armor. I do miss sleeping, though. I try to give my mind a rest and just sort of daydream and let my thoughts wander or do some meditation during the nights, but it’s just not the same. Also means I’m the one that pulls guard duty through the night,” he grumbled. “Let’s see, what else, what else. Ah, right. I can’t smell anything. Or taste. I haven’t worked out how to recreate those senses, yet. Though no sense of smell can be handy sometimes, I suppose. I don’t know if you’ve done much merc work – you mentioned being surprised that I’m not just moonlighting – but uh… the smells that you encounter on a battlefield are… unpleasant. To say the least. It was weird not having a sense of touch either, but I’ve resolved that. It’s a little bit different than my previous, natural sense of touch, but I’ve become accustomed to it to the point that I don’t much think about the difference anymore. I think I’ve even got the density of receptors down in certain areas compared to others, so I'm more sensitive in some areas than others now, just like I used to be. I’m still immune to being tickled though, so don’t even think about it – that’s a fight you’ll lose.” Growing a bit more somber, Xander continued on. “I think… the biggest thing I miss is just the feeling that I fit in more. Now I always worry about being different, there’s that nagging fear that anyone I get to know well is going to reject me once they find out what I am. Like I’m secretly lying to everyone around me with this façade I have going on.”
Valteria nodded sadly. “I get that. I’ve been… rejected before, too. At least it happens or not right from the beginning for me. I get to know if they look down on me for being different immediately instead of fearing they might later down the road.”
“Yeah,” Xander said. “People can really suck sometimes. But at least I can just, like, not tell people what I am if I so chose. You, my teammates, and the guild, since it’s on my status sheet, are really the only people who know. I keep it pretty private. You can’t do that, so I think you probably have to deal with a lot worse than I do. Not that I’d want you to hide what or who you are,” he added. “I happen to be quite enamored with who you are,” he said, teasing a smile from Valteria’s sad face.
“Sorry to bring up such a dour topic,” Valteria apologized. “I didn’t think much on it before I asked.”
“No worries,” Xander told her. “Honestly, I think it’s good to be able to talk about it with someone. It’s healthy to be able to get you feelings out there. And it helps that I feel like you understand where I’m coming from with it, though from a slightly different perspective.”
“You’re surprisingly thoughtful sometimes,” Valteria said, only half teasing.
“Only sometimes?” Xander asked with a faux expression of hurt on his face. “By the way, you didn’t react much to my comment about moonlighting as a merc. Do you ever go on contracts?”
Valteria shrugged. “I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a professional mercenary. Moonlighter is an apt descriptor, for me, I think. I have gone on a couple, here and there, mostly on kill contracts that would net me a core or organ that would be useful for my work.”
“Mm, that makes sense. I suppose it could be handy having access to the ability to take contracts that would give you access to specialty materials,” Xander said.
“It’s also good for business,” Valteria explained. “Mercs tend to like to buy from someone who has at least been out on a contract or two before.”
“Ah, that makes sense. What kind of things do you sell to mercenaries, anyways? I saw Jarrett with a crossbow yesterday, but I imagine you make other things, too.”
“Oh all kinds of little things. Portable, flameless heaters for cooking. Water purification sieves. Mm, let’s see… I’ve made a few custom order devices, too. One customer wanted to be able to shoot a jet of flame from their gauntlet, that was a fun one.”
“Ooh, that does sound fun… reminds me of my flamethrower.”
“Your flamethrower?”
“Yeah, it’s basically a big tank with a hose attached to it. At the end of the hose is a pump that causes the flammable liquid – I use dragon’s tar – to shoot out. Add a flame that the tar passes over and bam! You’ve got a giant stream of flame that will coat anything it hits with sticky, flammable tar,” Xander said, excitedly describing the device.
“That’s… impressive. And kind of horrifying,” Valteria responded.
“Mm… I guess you’re right. I mostly use it on giant spiders. Blugh,” Xander shuddered. “But yeah, I suppose it’s not the nicest of ways to go. Very effective for area denial, though. Ah, actually I have an idea for crossbow bolt head that would ignite when it shatters! We should make that sometime and see if it sells.”
“Hmm, I think that would draw some buyers. A flaming bolt head you didn’t have to light first could be desirable to certain buyers.”
“Put that on the list and we’ll get around to it sometime.”
“We have a list?” Valteria said confusedly.
“We should!” Xander said with a laugh. “Now let’s get the rest of these joints done.”
The repair of the other arm and the leg joints that Xander had locked into position during the tournament was a short affair. Looking over the bare metal frame of the armor still hanging from the ceiling, Xander clapped his hands together, mimicking dusting them off. “Good as new!” He exclaimed. Looking over to Valteria he asked concernedly, “It is good as new, right?”
Valteria had been staring at the armor as well, lost in thought about how she was going to improve it next. “Hmm? Oh, yes. It’s right as rain again, ready for use. Thank you, by the way. For fixing it,” She said awkwardly.
“Well I’m the one who broke it, so it’s only fair that I fix it. So what do you want to work on next?” Xander asked. “I could do some rune work for you. Orrr… we could kiss some more?”
Valteria flushed at the question, but didn’t immediately say no.
A few minutes later, she found herself on her tip toes and lightly pressed against the interior wall of the shed, her lips pressed against Xanders.
Once the two of them were done acting like teenagers parked in a secluded parking lot, they made their way back into the shop. Stepping inside and closing the door behind them, Valteria let out a breath. “I think… you are going to have to do a lot of rune work to make up for how much you just kissed me, Xander.”
“What, you didn’t like it?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t say that,” Valteria said with a smirk.

Kaya ba mag move on ng fully kung first love mo? Di ko alam saan magsstart sa kwento ko. Minsan hate ko siya pero minsan miss ko rin siya. Miss ko lang yung time na nakalimutan ko siya pero life really has its ways.
We were childhood friends. Nagkakilala kami ni “Justin” nung preschool palang. Tapos nagkacrush ako sa kanya noong elementary. Of course yung sa puppy love, kilig kilig. Noong nag highschool kami, magka-iba ma kami ng school. We lost touch for a while pero since we had a similar circle of childhood friends we started talking again nung mga 3rd year na kami. Yun we clicked. Exact same footing nung bata pa kami. We talked everyday before going to school and falling asleep. Nagkakamustahan tungkol sa friends at family pati na rin sa mga school work. Minsan din we help each other to answer our homework. Feel ko I really fell for him at 15. He seemed so perfect to me. He understood me and my silences. Parang I didn’t have to explain my soul to him because he just got it. We never went out together na kami lang pag weekends kasi admittedly I felt like hindi ko kaya so lagi akong tumatanggi. As in parang nagrarambol yung mga butterflies sa tiyan ko when im around him. Somehow, parang yung common sense ko nawawala. Lahat pinagusapan namin hanggang sa future and mga trips for summer kahit wala naman kami label. Di ko rin alam if he felt the same way kasi never naman din kami nagshare ng feelings namin na ganon sa isat isa. Oo, bobita talaga. We went on like this until 4th year na kami. Nung prom ko, I brought one of my best friends as my dates kasi nag promise kami nung bata pa kami na kami mag kasama sa prom. I didn’t think of it much kasi Justin naman din told me he and his friends were planning to fly out for a grad trip around that time so I thought wala ding point if I asked him to go with me to prom. The night of prom sinabi ng friend niya na he kind of thought I’d ask him to prom. Shucks di ko alam pano magreact so kinalimutan ko nalang. Ayun so parang medyo nag on-off na contact namin. When we reached the last half of 12th grade, we went back to where we left off pero deep inside alam ko na I shouldn’t make anything of this anymore. His friends would tease me about him when I’d pass them in the hallway. Tapos when I bumped into his bestfriend on a night out, tinanong niya kung ano kami ni Justin. Wala akong masagot so tumawa nalang ako at sinabi friends lang. One time nagkasama lahat kami ng mga friends namin from elementary for inuman, and that night he stuck close to me. Always walking right behind me kahit na nagpapaiwan ako from the group kasi ayaw kong makasama siya na kami lang. The whole time he was asking me about the guys I’ve talked to/dated in the past years. Our group was bar hopping and just so happens na madami akong friends na lumabas that night. So naghhi hello ako and he’d just stand right behind me. He asked me how I knew most of the boys. Tapos sabi oh friend of friends lang ganon. Actually that night talaga sobrang nagccringe ako sa sarili ko kasi in one of the bars we went to he asked me to cover his part eh I didn’t want to interact with him so much so I nodded my head and paid nalang. We went to another bar naman Tapos he sat beside me. I felt so uncomfortable kasi parang di na gagana utak ko kung magkatabi kami at padami na yung na iinom. Yun umuwi ako with a friend and the night ended at that. I told myself na dapat i-let go ko na yun kasi wala naman din mangyayari at nagiging bobo lang ako. So i started replying slower and slower till di na kami nag kausap ulit. Tapos nung mga last few weeks ng grade 12 nilapitan ako ng kabarkada niya tinanong niya yung nag-uusap ba daw kami ni Justin, bat daw di kami magtry, cute naman daw kami together, bigay niya daw number ni Justin sakin para magkausap kami ulit. Tumawa nalang ako at sinabi na wala friends lang naman din kami. Yun so it’s water under the bridge na. I went to college abroad and I left right after I graduated hs. While I was settling down in a new place, tinawagan ako ng bestfriend ko. Pagkatingin ko ng mukha sa screen si Justin pala. Tinanong niya kumusta ko at dahil emotional ako at mag-isa sa ibang bansa sabi ko wag na tayo mag usap kasi alam ko may kausap or girlfriend ka na ganon. Sabi niya no wala pero yun din a week later nagpost siya na sila na ng kinakausap niya. Ok lang naman strong naman po ako. So kinalimutan ko na siya tapos masaya na ako. A few times lang rin during college nag dm siya sakin asking if may bf ako ganon pero yun lang. Fast forward graduate na kami lahat ng college so lahat kami sa batch namin nag uwian sa hometown to catch up. Di kami nag pansinan buong night. Nilapitan niya nalang ako nung may mga kumakausap sakin na mga lalaki. Nainis ako dahil di ako makalandi well since lagi siya nangingistorbo tapos paulit ulit niya ako kinakamusta na parang gago. Alam ko wala naman siyang feelings sakin, lintik lang talaga minsan. May common friend kami na girl tapos sila yung magkasama at nagsasayawan the whole night except nung times na nagpapapansin siya. Yun lang after nalaman ko may nangyari pala between them dati. Gusto kong sabihin na wala akong pake at all pero sa totoo may konting pag-irap ng mata kasi close kami dati ng ate gorl mo. Yun pa sinabihan niya ako that night na gago si guy and all that bago kami pumunta sa inuman. Recently, pumunta sa current city ko yung close friend niya na guy na ka close ko rin. We met up a few times as friends. Yun lang after ng first meeting namin na stinory ng guy friend, lagi na siya nanonood and like sa mga story ko. Ginagago niya ba ako? Or gusto niya lang lagi akong maiinis sa kanya?
TLDR: bobo ako at minsan miss ko pa rin siya

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. It's almost two in the morning and I have to be up for school in a few hours. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

UPDATE: I'll try again using a scale - here is how CoPilot translated cups into grams - thank you, u/nondualishuz.

• Sourdough: ½ cup is equivalent to 4 ounces (since 1 cup = 8 ounces).
• Water: 1 cup is equivalent to 8 ounces.
• Whole-wheat flour: ½ cup is equivalent to 4 ounces.
• Unbleached bread flour: For 3 to 3½ cups, it would be 24 to 28 ounces (as 1 cup = 8 ounces).
• Salt: Since salt is measured in teaspoons, not cups, the conversion is different. Generally, 1 teaspoon of salt weighs about 0.2 ounces. So, 2 teaspoons would be approximately 0.4 ounces.
• Cornmeal: This is typically used for dusting and the amount can vary, so it’s best to use as needed.

Remember, these conversions are based on the assumption that you’re using standard US cup and ounce measurements. The weight of ingredients can vary depending on the ingredient’s density and how it’s packed into the cup. For baking, it’s often recommended to use a kitchen scale for more precise measurements.
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Hi, I bake sourdough and baguettes regularly with good success. However, I have made the recipe below twice and failed both times. The crust turns out hard (not just crunchy), and in the second batch the bread did not brown.
The two deviations I made from the recipe below were:
-- I used a mixer with a dough hook for step 3 - and the flour was a bit challenging to mix in. Would a food processor with a steel blade (one of the options the recipe called for) really work better? Seems like it would destroy the gluten structure you are trying to build.
-- I also used a baking steel which made the bottom brown, but the top of the loaves stayed pasty white.
Ideas? I like the idea of a part-whole wheat baguette using leftover sourdough starter. The loaves are also quite good (nice texture, good tang) - it is just that crust.

• ½cup sourdough (I used fed sourdough)
• 1cup water
• ½ cup whole-wheat flour
• 3 to 3½ cups unbleached bread flour, plus flour for the work surface
• 2 teaspoons salt
• Cornmeal for baking sheets

1. Combine the sourdough with the water and allow to sit until the sourdough relaxes and begins to dissolve, about 20 minutes. Beat in the whole-wheat flour and one cup of the bread flour, cover tightly with plastic wrap and allow to rise until very bubbly and light, six to eight hours depending on the warmth of the room.
2. Beat in the salt and another cup of flour, again cover and let rise until double in size, five to seven hours.
3. Transfer the mixture to a kneading bowl or food processor with a steel blade and knead in the remaining flour, a third of a cup at a time, until the dough is smooth, shiny and elastic. Cover and let rest for 10 minutes.
4. Sprinkle a baking sheet with cornmeal. Divide the dough in half and roll each half into a thin snake about one-and-a-half inches in diameter. Place the snakes, well separated, on the baking sheet, cover lightly with a dampened tea towel or plastic wrap and allow to rise until double in size, about one to one-and-a-half hours.
5. Heat the oven to 450 degrees. Make several shallow diagonal slashes across the loaves with a razor blade and put the sheet in the oven. Being careful not to get burned by the steam, throw about a quarter cup of water onto the oven floor and shut the oven at once.
6. Bake the bread for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the baguettes are crusty and well browned. Cool on wire racks.

Yellow y’all, I am a Junior in High School currently in a program my public school has where they send us to another school to take a class. I am taking the Veterinary Science Class and we have been working on a project for a bit now. It is a career project were we research a career we are interested in. There are 2 parts to the project. The first part is the research portion. We research what education we need and were we can go to get it to reach our career goal as well as information about the career relating to what it requires, does it involve travel, how laborious is it, what is needed for it, what are the patient relationships like, what is the social aspect like, the requirements for the career, etc. This is the easier portion for me, but the harder portion I have found is the second part. For the second portion is a grade by itself and contributes to the first parts grade. (Both summative grades) What is required for this second portion is we must find someone who works in the field and contact them about interviewing them on their experiences in the field. (What it has been like for them, what I should know about it, and any tips, tricks, or forewarnings I should know) I had ended up finding a farrier in the area that seemed nice and who is exspeinced and licensed. I had emailed them emailed them explaining who I am, the project I was doing this for, and where I go to school with the class the project was for. I covered everything my teacher had told everyone in the class to do. She had given us a template to use and base our emails off of and I did while changing it up a little bit to be friendly, but keeping the main necessary content in it. I singed off at the bottom of the email with my name again, my email that was used to send this email, and my phone number if she would prefer to use that instead. After about 2 - 3 weeks with no response I sent a follow up email that my teacher also gave us a template for. The email templates we had were made in class as a class. It was part of the creative/business aspect in the project. After about 10 days with no response I was ready to tell my teacher about the situation and ask what to do when I finally got my first and, spoiler alert, only response. She explained that she was traveling and didn’t check her email in that amount of time. She said that she was now trying to ketchup on her email now. In her email to me she said and I quote “Are you interested in learning about traditional horse shoeing? I am a natural hoofcare provider with my focus being barefoot trims. I only have a handful of horses in composite type shoes that I strictly glue on. I do not use nails or work with metal shoes so I am not sure I’d be the best fit if you are planning to attend a horseshoeing school. I can recommend other traditional farriers locally to shadow if that is the direction you may want to pursue. However, if you are interested in a natural barefoot approach then I am happy to chat with you and have you join for shadowing.” End quote. I showed my teacher the email the next day looking for advice as to how I should respond. My teacher said to continue to try and make plans for an interview and potential job shadow that she seemed interested in taking on. My teacher also told me to try and get the other recommendations as well. I then replied to her email saying how I would be happy to learn from her and job shadow with her or at the very least do an interview with her. I also then said how my teacher suggested I ask if I could have the other farrier recommendations. After that I mentioned again how much it would mean to me if she gave me the chance and for her to have a wonderful night. That’s was sent march 17th. Still no reply. After a bit of waiting for a response I tried calling her because in her email she left her number. It went to voicemail so I left a voicemail message saying who I am, my number, project information from my first email, and that I am still interested in the interview and at least a job shadow. I haven’t received a return call or any missed calls. In her voicemail she said if she isn’t able to get back to you within a few days to message her through text, so I did. I was then left on read for about a week until I asked my teacher what to do. She suggested I ask if I can at least interview her over the phone or have her just send me a message of answer to my questions. So that is what I asked her sending the same message through both text and email. I also provided her with example questions that I would be asking in the message. I have been since left on read with no reply. I am now turning to searching for someone new on here to help me. I just need someone to answer a few questions on their experience being a farrier. It would mean so much to me if someone could help me here. I understand everyone here has their own lives and must be busy with such, but this assignment is due may 22nd and today is may 14. I only have 8 days left for this second portion and I hope y’all understand. Sorry this came out to be so long. Please, have a wonderful rest of your day and my email is katelynnzannoni99@gmail.com if anyone can help. Thank you.