Hello all, looking to start decanting some fragrances I have in my collection. I have other fragrances coming in as well, Le Labo’s, Parfums de Marly, Creed’s and Louis Vuitton’s. Shipping is free over $25.00, I Will not ship to anywhere outside the U.S.A. (CONUS ONLY). All decants will be in glass bottles, working on getting LV style bottles for the LV fragrances only. Please don’t hesitate to contact me regarding batches etc. Accepting Cash App, Zelle, Apple Pay etc. G&S requires that the extra fees be added.
https://imgur.com/a/0bUo39d
Creed
Aventus 10th Anniversary 1ML $4.50, 5ML $22.50, 10ML $45.00
Creed Green Irish Tweed 1ML $3.50, 5ML $17.00, 10ML $32.50
Creed Silver Mountain Water 1ML $3.50, 5ML $17.00, 10ML $32.50
Le Labo
The Noir 29 2ml $9.00 Lavende 31 1.5ML $8.00
Chanel
Allure Homme Sport Extreme 2ml $6
Louis Vuitton
Imagination 5 ML $17.50, 10 ML $35 , 30ML $95
Parfums De Marly
Pegasus Exclusif 1ML $3.00, 5ML $15.00
Rasasi Hawas EDP
Rasasi Hawas EDP 1 ML $1.50
Jimmy Choo Intense
1 ML $2
Maison Margiela The Replica
Jazz Club 1ML $2
Tumi
Kinetic 1ML $2.00

Just downloaded the game today and was wondering if progress would carry over. Also bonus question is there anyway to unlock Rieve as a free to play player?

https://discord.gg/a2ZAkWme
Anyone that joins the discord will get a free trial and will be entered into a giveaway for the ultimate package
all new menu and loader
True Silent
AImbot and all the workings for it
brand new blockespoofer that has gone thru extensive testing by over 30 different people all with very differnt play styles out of 40 hours of play time I managed to get one let me repeat one SB and that was 100% my fault i was wall banging every kill tracking people thru walls and full on rage cheating BUT guess what my SB got lifted today and im playing like nothing ever happened.
like i said anyone that joins from here will get a free trial and be entered into the big giveaway
https://discord.gg/a2ZAkWme

BIO: 2023 Federal taxes/Louisiana/Single/54/Male/No dependents/i do my own taxes and never had a problem/employed/not a biz owner and no side gigs other than stock market/I itemized deductions/filed all required schedule forms and all tax calculation forms/I filed on irs.gov website free fillable forms which is all automated calculations.
2023 TAX INFO: I paid $82,990 in federal taxes on a combo of payroll income and stock profits. I NEVER pay taxes quarterly, ever. Taxes owed for 2023: 97,821…taxes withheld 14,831…for stock taxes i used the proper tax calculation sheets and table…In the end I had a tax payment of 82,990. I grossed $500,003 for 2023…$103,000 was from my payroll income from my job and the rest was selling of short term and long term stock gains and also a few weekly option sales here and there. I have never made that much before in my life in the market and will never again. 2023 was an anomaly for me in the stock market.
STORY: So the other day I get a CP30 tax notice saying i am being penalized for $678 with the explanation in the letter “When you dont pay enough taxes due for the year with your quarterly estimated tax payments and you dont have enough withholding, we charge a penalty for not properly estimating your taxes.”
This notice document has 5 entries with “to” and “from” dates. Here is one example, which is the first line entry:
From date 4-15-23 to date 6-15-23……61 days…..7% rate….0.00019178 factor…..$6,801.66 principal…….$79.57 Penalty
So thats the first line..the next 3 lines below it are all from 2023 also with the last “to” date being 9-20-23. The very last entry line is for 2024, 2-15-24 to 4-12-24 with a principal of $27,206.64 and a penalty of $338.97.
All 5 lines penalty’s equal $678.12
My questions are as follows(and yes, i did call irs three times in last 48hrs and no one has been able to explain why i got this letter or answer any of my questions..i keep getting transfered to another department and im in the que for anotjer call back in an hour)
1 - I have never set up or applied to pay my taxes quarterly so how in the world am I, according to this notice, set up for quarterly payments?
2 - How can I be penalized for all of 2023 when I never set up to pay quarterly?
3 - How can I be penalized and never be notified throughout the year of 2023 OR 2024 until now in mid may 2024?
4 - Where is the IRS getting the “Principal” numbers I list above?
5 - If i dont pay my taxes till tax due date, how is the IRS calculating taxes I owe quarterly for the previous year?
6 - Why have I never gotten one of these CP30 letters in my entire life?
7 - Isnt the very last line (37) of 1040 take into consideration all the taxes I owe from payroll and stocks? Meaning if i didnt pay enough of payroll taxes, that will be revealed in line 37, correct? And in this case i had a tax payment, between payroll and stocks, $82,990 which i paid in full 4-12-24.
8 - If i didnt have enough tax withheld in my payroll tax, wouldnt that all be eventually calculated on the 1040 form line 37? (I did calculate my tax on line 16 properly)
9 - If i never set up quarterly payments, then how can the IRS calculate a penalty 4 times in 2023 and one time in 2024???
Thank you for your time to read all of this…im very confused over all of it.

Basically I’ve got two kids, and currently on a weightloss journey to get healthy so I don’t plan on baby #3 for at least a year or two or even three depending. But I’m the type that needs to know legit everything I can beforehand, im a planner lol 🤣 I don’t go into anything without enough knowledge of it. I never breastfed my 2 kids, I did pump with my second but never tried breastfeeding. When I had my first, the thought of breastfeeding just made me uncomfortable for some reason and when I had my second, I decided to pump, afterwards I regretted not even trying it, idk now it’s just something I’d like to experience since a 3rd will probably be my last.
So for all the women who are experienced breastfeeders, I have a few questions and if you guys could answer them, I’d appreciate it and you could throw it any tips and advice would be awesome.

1. When do you start breastfeeding at the hospital after giving birth?
   
2. How long and how often do you breastfeed a newborn for the sessions.
   
3. Are you suppose to breastfeed from both breast?
   
4. How do you know their full?
   

I’m sure there’s other questions but those are the ones I’m most worried about, probably the reason why I also never tried. Any tips, advice or even hacks? Even useful things to buy?

Currently, we live in a pretty protectionist era. As both the Republican and Democratic parties try to court Rust Belt swing voters in order to win the electoral college under the promise of protecting American industry. Of course, this ​has le​d to an increase in protectionist policies which has played a role in inflation being so high.
My question would be, what would it take for free trade to become politically viable again? My guess would be that inflation gets so bad that voters turn against policies advocating protectionism. Or, the blue collar workers in places like the Rust Belt become electorally irrelevant.

Question is pretty self explanatory. What’s the best item in the snack shop? Not the free ones. It was my birthday and the FA told me to choose one and I didn’t know what to pick and I’m just curious what you guys would have picked

Hello everyone. I was recently contracted to write the Deep Dungeon guides for IcyVeins, I have been steadily working on Eureka Orthos for the past week. However, with today's reveal of the Ultimog Challenge being the completion of floor 100 of Palace of the Dead, I decided to put EO on hold and smash out the floorguides for PotD 1-100 ASAP for those who might want them!
As of right now, the Deep Dungeon section of the website contains a page containing information relevant to all three Deep Dungeons, a page specific to each DD (Palace of the Dead, Heaven on High, and Eureka Orthos), floor guides for 1-80 for Eureka Orthos and, as of an half an hour ago, floor guides for 1-50 for Palace of the Dead.
I am currently in the process of working through 51-100 as I write this, and it will be up on the site within 24 hours! If anyone is looking to get into deep dungeons as a result of this Ultimog Challenge, in the same way that many got into Ocean Fishing (and from there, Big Fishing) during the previous Mogtome event, this is a great time to do it, and I hope to build a resource worthy of the community.
Feel free to give feedback on the guides, or ask any questions you may have!

Trigger warning: sexual abuse
Throwaway.
I have never spoken of this to another human being after almost 40 years. Memories of this has resurfaced lately, and after watching Baby Reindeer with my wife (with the abuse confession scene in particular), I wanted to tell her so badly but lacked the nerve. So here I am.
When I was in 1st grade, so as a 6 years old boy, I got in trouble. The teacher called my parents in, a serious talk was had, and I was in deep shit. I don't remember what my punishment was, but I do remember why I got in trouble.
I had a friend named Tim the same age as me. Our classroom had bathrooms attached to the room. For some reason that I don't remember, I had convinced Tim to sneak off to the bathroom with me during class. I do not know how we evaded the teacher, but it became a regular thing. It was a fun way to sneak out of classwork and play.
At some point, we began to explore each others' bodies, including genitals. We attempted to enact what I would later learn was sex. I do not know why we decided to do this, but I always had the feeling that it was my idea.
We finally got caught. I distinctly remember trying to sneak to the bathroom cartoon style when the teacher spotted me. She must have put the pieces together later, because my parents got the call that afternoon and we all went to the school. Turns out that Tim had confessed upon being questioned and said that it was all my idea (which it very well may have been).
Tim and I were not allowed to be friends after that, and very strict rules about bathroom use were implemented.
I forgot about the whole ordeal until I was a teenager, and ever since I've felt a crushing guilt. It also led to depression and a lot of negative feelings about sex, which made my teenage and early 20s years rough. I thought that I was a horrible person to have talked my friend into that, or maybe that I was gay (which I am not). Eventually, the thought occurred to me that I may have been abused and was trying to replicate that, but I have no memory of being abused. I guess I'm just a horrible person.
I have wanted to ask my parents what they remember about that event, but I don't want to put them through reliving that. I've put them through enough since then.
I don't know what to feel. I just wanted to tell someone, and I don't have the courage to tell someone in person. Thank you and I'm sorry.

Hey all, I'm new to this sub but I've been ex-muslim for a number of years. I feel I've outgrown my friends who are all religious and, quite frankly, intellectually stunted and incurious to say the least. I was wondering how you've all gone about meeting new friends? It feels daunting making new friendships as an adult, they don't come as easily as they did in childhood.
A bit of background on me. I first left Islam when I was in grade 9 because I couldn't reconcile the texts with basic human decency, philosophical questions about determinism/ethics, or just all the evidence it's a man-made hodgepodge ripoff of other religions.
However, a few years ago my mother passed away and for a time I converted back to Islam out of despair and a desperate longing to feel a connection with her again. You see, despite my atheism, I have been fortunate enough to come from an educated and tolerant family. While my parents were saddened by my renunciation of Islam they never chastised me or made me feel bad, we all just carried on as usual. I'm very close to my family, and was especially close to my mother.
Fast forward a few years after that though, and I once again realized I couldn't reconcile my beliefs with Islam. The only reason I had reverted was because of my mother, she was a wise, kind and loving soul, and I felt that if Islam brought her peace I must be missing something. But again, I was forced to realize that I'm just incompatible with religious thinking.
In the process I also realized that I'm incompatible with my lifelong friends. I find my political and ethical beliefs increasingly at odds with theirs. I also think they're too stupid to grasp the nuances of the arguments I make whenever we have a debate about these topics. These are friends I've known since childhood and our group is very insular, everyone is Muslim, most are of the same culture/ethnicity.
I just can't carry on with them anymore though. I feel like I'm hiding my true self from them and have to censor my speech and behavior in their presence. Sometimes I feel like just ditching them all at once, but then I'd be totally friendless. I'd like to make friends with some free-thinkers first before leaving my old childhood friends behind, but I find it's very difficult to do that now. The only place I really meet new people is at work and that's not an ideal environment IMO. I also have a hard time making small talk with strangers, I feel like conversation needs to flow naturally and I'm not great at forcing it.
I'm sure others here have gone through something similar, I was wondering if and how you managed to find new friend groups?

TLDR;
Is it possible to pre-render all of my static sites with content from Hygraph CMS using adapter static? If so, how?
———
I am developing a small website for a local non profit that is going to replace their existing HTML, CSS and JS website hosted on AWS S3.
I plan to integrate Hygraph CMS so the non technical members can make changes to the website.
I would listen to content changes in Hygraph via Webhook then trigger my Github Action to redeploy the site.
The main reason for my question is that I want to coast on the free tier of Hygraph and even though I won’t get much traffic on the site, I want to limit API calls as much as possible.

Each month I host a get together for traders, completely free, no email sign ups, no pitches. This is an opportunity to meet others in our space, dive into more advanced topics for seasoned traders and explore basic topics that might be challenging to newer traders. The google form at the bottom is used to collect topics and helps me prepare things ahead of time for deeper answers (for example, a recent question was regarding comparing a 50 and 200 day moving average so rather than a nebulous answer, I was able to query my dataset and provide a empirical picture). I do not have all the answers but do my best to answer what I can.
Of note, this isn't the correct place for "what's an option" level. Please at least read through this intro from Investopedia if you're brand new: https://www.investopedia.com/options-basics-tutorial-4583012
https://forms.gle/p2YiNzR3fQjTHfoY6
Who am I and Why do I do this?
My name is Erik, I've been trading since 2007 and became a professional retail trader since 2017. I grew up poor and was introduced to investing in high school by a teacher, got into options trading and that ultimately changed my life. I enjoy gathering people but more importantly feel like I owe it to that teacher to share with others what he did for me. You can learn more about me here if interested regarding my performance (cliff notes, 26% CAGR from 2007 to 2023 so I'm proficient but by no means at the top of the pack: https://www.businessinsider.com/stock-market-investor-financial-independence-strategies-options-trading-how-to-2023-9 )

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're doing through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not great. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, stingers / food, run to class and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's such a bad mindset. Make connections with people. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. Know more than just leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worth than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those two classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money to get your resume professionally written. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well. Don't put every achievement ever on there. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you want until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hire come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as you portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Cool Linux-based Subreddit -
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

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Throwaway for privacy. Crossposted to the Canadian FI sub.
Early 30s, M/HCOL location. Single and expect to stay that way indefinitely. Do not want kids.
Goal: Open an art studio and work at least part time making art indefinitely. I've made art and sold it since I was a kid, otherwise I'd drown in my own stuff. I get more requests than I can fill currently, and I've consistently grossed 6-10k the last few years on the side with minimal/moderate effort from freelance contracts, product sales, and teaching, all while also working full time, moving multiple times, job changes, gaining and losing studio space, volunteering, staying active, etc. I'm starting to burn out doing it all at the same time for years now however, and it's affecting my mental and consequently physical health.
Current employment: My current work structure/colleagues/management leave a lot to be desired and the work can be both very boring, political, chaotic and stressful at times, with high staff turnover, but I've worked in worse places overall. The pay is about 30% over what I could get at any other employer locally on top of great vacation and benefits which kind of makes up for it? The industry in general sucks and is not helping the burnout situation.
Why now (or in the next year or so) vs. full FIRE or at least a fatter coast while the money is flowing? The main person who runs an arts program/business in my community is retiring soon and has expressed wanting an apprentice for some of his contracts. He doesn't make a lot, but he's been doing it for 30 years, raised 3 kids while divorced on it, and goes to Mexico for a month every year. It seems like a fantastic opportunity to inherit a developed client base, possibly buy cheap materials/equipment, and general support to launch into the next phase.
My original, "5 year plan," was to shovel any money free after filling registered accounts into the mortgage so the value at renewal in 3 years is very low and then either fully pay it off or extend the amortization period depending on rates/life at that point. The idea being to reduce cash flow requirements to as minimal as possible before leaving my current employment vs. possibly having to pull down on investments for a year or two to bridge the gap, but functionally I'm not sure it makes a huge difference if you looked at market return vs. debt payoff over time, plus hopefully still adding to the stash here and there in the future.
My current employment as is is not tenable for 3 more years, but there are lots of other possible options such as finding another job that doesn't suck nearly as much energy and lets me break even on expenses for those 3 years. There is a small chance I could move to part time in my current role, but it depends on things mostly out of my control. I've planted the seed with another friend/possible employer about mutually beneficial contract work with them, to float a few years between now and 100% art, but that's also in the end up to them.
Question: If you were me, how comfortable would you feel leaving the golden handcuffs in roughly a year to work your ass off on something you've always wanted, but are also scared it will be a terrible choice to go into a "non-essential" field while the environment and consequently society starts to collapse around us? That last point makes me feel like YOLO and max conservatism are both very valid in different ways.
Financials:
~100k job income + 5% DB Pension matching
135k - Mortgage debt at 5.3%
Mortgage payments of ~23k/yr,
Comfortable living expenses without mortgage and including tax burden = 35k/yr = FT minimum wage = 875k FIRE number. In a worst case I could cut a vacation and get a roommate.
40k- Pension contributions incl. match
60k- HYSA/GIC
340k- RRSP, TFSA, Margin in ETFs
=440K NW, nic home equity
I know to not bank on this, but there is a high likelihood of a significant inheritance in roughly 25 years in the million + bracket. I should be fully FI before this point, however I also fully believe we will be dealing with global watefood wars and climate migration crisis before then.