I know a lot people like to say Angelina and Jenni are ugly now because they plastic surgery they had and saying they were more pretty in the OG. Jenni was with Roger, and she started changing her appearance more near the end of their relationship, what if he said she wasn't beautiful and made her so insecure that she felt the need to change her face in tne first place? And maybe Angelina had negative things aid about her to do the same. And getting negative comments obviously makes it worse and so it causes them to change their appearance more and more. Yes they were beautiful naturally, but I still think they're still beautiful with or without surgery. I don't judge them over their appearance. Feel free to downvote me and disagree with me, but I feel like we as fans shouldn't judge the girls over how they look. It's their life, their bodies and their faces. That's probably why Angelina hates reddit because negative comments picking her apart about her looks same with Jenni, she probably doesn't like people tearing her apart about her looks. Just my opinions. Agree to Disagree?

So, there's been some slightly conflicting information on how the faces of the Lihzahrds are supposed to look in further detail. Like, from their in-game sprites, their faces don't look much different from human ones. But then, the "Lizard King" painting found in the temple very much implies to represent how they canonically look from a closer perspective and appears to have a more properly elongated face.
Why am I paying attention to this? I dunno, some random thought when I was bored. Also, I'd be very freaking disappointed if the Witch Doctor canonically looked like the Lizard from The Amazing Spiderman movie (that design was just egregious).

i’m currently at my breaking point with my sister and i’m now starting to resent my mum. i’m 21 and my sister is 27. she lives at home after she moved back in before covid. she lived with her then boyfriend but broke up after a few months and moved back in. my mum and i didnt actually want her back because of reason that still effect us to this day but my dad, who left a few months after bringing her back, didn’t listen to a single word me and my mum said. before she moved out, the house was a constant mess and never cleaned up after herself, lazy, all the food was pretty much gone and it was fights constantly between her and my mum. now it’s like we’ve just gone back in time because it is the exact same scenarios playing out exept even worse now, because she had a kid with her boyfriend, who my mum also let stay in the house for 2 fucking years. he did the exact same thing as my sister. nothing. my mum had to beg them to empty the fucking bins during their week because it was literally overflowing with trash. we even had maggots in the bins a few times. they always forgot to pay rent and had no problem up eating up the electricity he his billion devices and eating the entire fridge, even tho he works a 40k, yes, 40k job and the amount of benefits she gets they always missed months upon months of paying rent. i’m out of work and still manage to help pay rent and bills every month. not only this, my niece and nephew were living at home for a few months too as they stopped talking to my other sister. more mouths to feed. less space. more stress. my mum just took everyone in. at one point we had this crowded house of stress and noise. at one point there was 7 people in this crowded house. 7 you may ask? well, my sister and her boyfriend, now ex, had a kid. i shit you not, tbis baby cries every fucking morning. not just cries, but screams. 5am. 6am. 2 am. you name it. and my dickhead sister is too lazy to take care of her own kid. every day she’s always begging people to look after her kid for a few days. it’s been less stre since my neice and nephew moved back in with their mum but it is shadowed by her child. when she’s not away though, she’s screaming constantly. i lost it a few times. i’ve had arguments with my sister about it, we’ve even had physical fights. and what is my mum doing in the mean time ? nothing. nothing. nothing. she’s not doing anything. she’s been more stressed out and ill since the baby was born, but i look at her and she’s a zombie at this point. she just lets my sister ruin the house completely. all the food is gone currently and now we have to wait til next week until my mum gets paid to do shopping. i refused to stop buying food becauseleave it for a second it’s gone. and these are things she cries about if i did the same. all fight has completely gone from my mum. i’ve literally cried and begged her to kick her out but she does, you guessed it, nothing. she’s avoiding all arguments with her. i even begged my dad to talk to my mum but it was useless. my mum has been even more stressed out for the last few months and always gossips to my aunt about my sister and complains, but i think to myself, do you really think that? she threatened to kick me out more than she has my sister. me, the only person in the house who helps her, she’s willing to kick it out instead of the virus in her own home thats slowly killing her. right now i’m at my breaking point, i don’t know what to do. i’m completely powerless and the only person in the position of power is doing nothing. i don’t think i’ve broken down as much as i have in the last few weeks. what can i honestly do? please please please help me i really cant take this anymore.

Sorry if this is a dumb question, I'm just trying to learn about myself and the autism (I'm going to the neuropsychologist for the first time next week, to make sure if I'm really autistic or not). I heard about masking just recently, and I remember when I was 14 at the school I used to like another guy (he was probably a year younger than me) and everything he does, every behaviour I used to mimic. I don't know why I used to do this, it's like I wanted to feel like him even thought he wasn't a popular guy or so (actually, he used to look a bit like me, and I felt so good seeing someone that looks just like me). I also always ended up getting obsessed, and when at home I kept daydreaming imagining he was my brother or we we're friends or boyfriends, and I used to do it everyday for years.
I remember I've been doing this my whole life. When younger I used to mimic a few characters from TV shows and every guy I used to love platonically.
Is it normal? Can it could be a autistic thing?

Hello! (Info: male, 23 yrs, 5”5 ft., 130 ish lbs)
So recently I have been modifying my leg routine to be more sustainable/ take less time. I want to figure out if I should lessen my current sets and reps for glute bridges. I use a 40 Lb dumbbell and do 3 sets of 20 (60 total), pausing at the top, until failure. By the 3rd set my body is wrecked as it’s the last leg lift in the session. I’m not looking to progressively overload as I’m happy with my current muscle size, just looking to maintain. Anyways, does 60 total reps seem like too many for glute bridges? Would doing less reps (let’s say 40 instead of 60) cause a decrease in muscle size? I’ve heard that too much volume can actually be detrimental instead of beneficial. If I want to maintain, would lessening these reps cause a decrease in glutes? Thank you!

Hi!
I'm 44, haven't ridden a bike since I was... like 20?
I went and tried a ET T1000 bike yesterday, loved it, brought back so many memories. I'm picking it up tomorrow, can't wait! So, couple questions.
First and foremost, rain. Both my dad (his wife has an ebike) and the salesguy were like "Rain's a huge no no, if you get caught in rain, hurry up, and dry the bike using a compressor". Meanwhile, I was looking through the user manual I found online mentioned riding it through the snow, so I figure... must not be THAT bad? Right? Like if I get caught in a small drizzle, is it the end of the world?
And secondly, I'll welcome any tips/advice/warnings any of you can give to an old(ish) fart like me who's picking up bike riding after a couple decades hiatus (and, obviously, who used to ride normal bikes, not ebikes).
Thank you so much!

I'm asking because I'm weird sometimes and don't know if I'm being weird here.
This is for a tech position on a team that employs a lot technology so my expectation is that an ideal candidate will have some overlap with the tech stack - but not all, and will be competent in the areas they know and willing to learn the ones they don't.
To be clear, I'm not talking about a video interview. I have no interest in what the candidates look like and can determine if they have the requisite social skills in an interview.
I've found that people, especially in this field, sometimes people forget things in an interview and I'm not looking for people that can give a perfect on the spot presentation so I think this "homework" would benefit people. I think of it as more of a guided addition to their resume tailored to the role, than free labor.
For example if I am saying we need people with experience with nginx, apache, mysql, and postgres and someone indicates they have experience with nginx and mysql then I might ask some broad questions about how you would configure nginx as a webserver, or how you would set up high availability mysql. Open ended stuff that opens up talking points for the interview.
Curious if that makes sense or if people would find that offensive similar to a video one way interview.

Maybe it's a matter of playful roasts as a way of showing affection. Maybe it's about very straight forward communication. Regardless, if we end up hurting the people around us or making them feel small, we need to become self aware and change. Here are the things that have worked for me:

1. Be attentive. This is easier for the more outgoing and intuitive signs; Sagittarians are usually very capable of this, our issue being that we have our heads in the clouds, are aloof/detached and/or are focused on other things. I struggle with reading body language and tone of voice (autistic lol), but have found that I'm even signigicantly better at reading people's eyes than neurotypicals. If I make an effort to stay aware of how the look in their eyes change based on my words and actions, I usually know where they're at. If you struggle with this, a good thumb rule is to avoid roasting people who don't roast you back, and testing the water by making veeery light roasts at first to see how they react to that. When it comes to bluntness, and you struggle with intuition, you can go straight to point two.
   
2. Communicate. Make sure people around you know that you truly want them to let you know if you ever make them feel hurt, invalidated, bossed around or uncomfortable. Like, really emphasize it. Tell them that you know you come off that way sometimes, that you respect them, want them to feel seen and comfortable around you and care about their feelings and opinions. If it's about having a tendency of coming off as arrogant and bossy, start making a habit out of asking questions about their ideas, wants and opinions, and actually listen. Try to compromise if they disagree even after having had an mutually open discussion; even when it doesn't feel like the most logical way of doing something, meeting them halfway is usually worth it. Also, if you're wanna critisize or give people advice simply cause you care, ASK if they want help or advice. And if they reject it, don't assume you know what's best for them, let them figure it out on their own.
   
3. Think before you speak. This can be hard for more unfiltered people (like my ADHD Sag ass), but it's not undoable. If you're gonna point something out, ask yourself if it might hurt that person. If so, figure out how to say it in a way that doesn't make them feel attacked. If there is a risk of hurting them, you should also ask yourself if it's necessary to say anything at all. Is it gonna do more harm than good? Then stay quiet about it, unless they ask for your opinion. Not stating your opinion when it's unasked for and uneccessary isn't the same as being dishonest.
   
4. Take accountability if you hurt them/made them feel disrespected. Explaining your intentions is good and all, but you need to recognize that their feelings are valid and let them know you feel that way. Apologize and assure them that you will do your very best to do better in the future, and then actually put in that effort (don't promise something you're not sure you can live up to though - chances are you'll mess up at some point; we're only human, and things like this can take time). I also make sure to thank people for telling me, and express appreciation for their honesty. Bringing up that shit is hard for a lot of people, so make sure to give them cred for it.
   
5. Balance it up with compliments, appreciation, validation and reassurance, even if someone thinks your roasts are fun or ask for constructive criticism. Seriously. Giving people positive affirmations is important even with people you don't playfully make fun of or critisize, but it's VITAL when you do.
   

Do as you wish with this advice - but it works for me. If anyone has anything to add, please do. ❤️

My wife and I are both in our mid-twenties and recently purchased our first home. When selecting a realtor we did what I felt like was a good idea and starting asking trusted friends for referrals. They all referred the same realtor and said they had a wonderful experience.
We ended up selecting that realtor without any further thought and in hindsight it may have been a mistake.
As a FTHB it was pretty important to have a solid realtor who could guide us through the process but we felt like we were doing it all on our own, is that normal?
There were several instances where we would look to him for guidance like….
”So what do you notice about this house that we don’t see?”
Or
“How much money should we start with to show interest?”
Or
“What’s a reasonable staring offer on this house?”
I’m not a realtor. We were relying on him to know the local market and what is or what isn’t a good offer.
Every time we asked for such simple advice he’d just shrug his shoulders and respond “whatever you think!”
Well gee wiz buddy, if I knew I wouldn’t be paying you thousands of dollars to help me!
Is this common? Are they not supposed to be offering up opinions on structuring offers?
I felt like I was blindfolded next to someone who wasn’t, and every time I’d ask for directions they’d just say “whatever you think!”
How the heck is that helpful?
He was always kind and for the most part pretty responsive, but I felt like I was still doing his job 80% of the time. And yes, he’s very experienced and has sold hundreds of homes over a couple of decades.
Oh and then there were several times where we were caught in the middle of him and our mortgage broker bickering like an old married couple, each blaming the other and nobody was taking responsibility.
I also felt like he really just took advantage of our ignorance and wanted the price to be as high as possible for his own commission gain, seeing how the market was a lot slower when we purchased.
Needless to say, I will be conducting interviews and going over full expectations next time we select a realtor, and have the option to drop them should they ever not actually do their job.
Has anyone else had a similar experience or am I crazy??

I posted here just over 2 weeks ago saying I wasn't sure if I was ready to make the call, but our lease is done at the end of this month so it'd be a lot more complicated if I waited and said something with a fresh lease already signed. A few days after that I knew there was no way to be with him any longer, but I kept delaying looking for the right time. He was busy with work or I didn't want to do it too close to bedtime so we could process a bit before worrying about the shared bed. Today he has a day off and I planned it. Before I told him I told some friends that it was happening today so I couldn't back out. I don't think I could've done it sober so I had 2 shots at like 10am which feels really gross but I'm not really a drinker to begin with. I told him as soon as he was up and moving.
The first thing he said was "this is a conversation I should be wearing pants for" as he was still in just his boxers. When he came back to the livingroom 2 minutes layer his first questions were how long did I know and does this mean I was never attracted to him. I explained (with a slightly shortened time frame of knowing because I felt bad about stringing him along for a couple extra weeks) and said I was attracted to him foe the vast majority of our time. He kept telling me he was proud and that I'm brave and we agreed that we're still best friends and the relationship wasn't a waste of time or anything bad. I still do love him, just not in a romantic way, and once the dust has settled he's also interested in remaining good friends. I'm going to stay at my parents for a night or 2, then spend the next few weeks on the couch or a camping pad in the office (he's trying to offer me the bed but I can't do that to him on top of this). We were making jokes through the tears and we plan to at least finish the show we've been binging (last season) in the next few weeks while we live together.
I wish I didn't have to do this but I know we both deserve to be with someone we love and who loves us in a compatible way. I've always gotten into serious relationships faster than I've meant to after a breakup so I'm going to have to be careful about that, but I do want to date casually this summer once I've had some time to process everything. My hope is that I can finally buy a small apartment for myself in the next year or so since he wasn't ready to buy a place but now that I need less space it's an option.

Hey all. I started my locs back in May mostly bc I was unsure what to do with my hair.(20 years in the military, short haircuts forever) I went about a year without consistently getting haircuts and got some decent growth and started using. A twist comb. After a while of getting frustrated with tangled hair I combed the curls the best I could and went to a loctician. My hair was about anywhere from 3.5 to 5 inches. The hair on top of my head is shorter, and I get a lot of breakage there
Fast forward 3 or so months and my sides and the back of my head are looking pretty good. Not a lot of length but healthy. I get a retwist every 4 weeks. The problem is that in between the top of my head almost becomes completely undone and it's like I'm putting starters up there every time i get retwisted and they're super short compared to the rest of my head. I'm getting frustrated and don't know what to do. She considered waiting to try and re adjust my parts up top to combine some of the locs but man it's discouraging seeing them so short compared to the rest. She told, and showed me the length of the hair this last retwist (about a week ago) so my hair is growing, but they won't stay put...leaving them susceptible to breakage and such.
Some notes, my hair is salt and peppery bc I started going gray in my teens, I'll be 40 in a few days (I didn't wanna post pictures) not thinning, not balding, but slower growth than say a teenager or someone in their 20s. My loctician (love her btw) doesn't want me to mess with too many products, but I wanna try oiling my scalp or something. Do you think that'll help? Any advice?

Scene 1: School (Friday, end of class)
At school, just before the bell for the last lesson. Mymy and Kiki are talking in the hallway.
Kiki: (enthusiastically) Hey, Mymy! How about we go out somewhere or ride around your neighborhood together? We haven't had time just for ourselves in a while.
Mymy: (with a smile) Sounds great! But I need to ask my parents if you can come over. Will you wait a moment?
Kiki: Of course, no problem. I'll wait for your message.
An hour later, when the bell announces the end of the last lesson, the girls say goodbye and head home.
Scene 2: Mymy's Home
At the Schoppenboer family home. Mymy enters the living room, where her parents are.
Mymy: Hi, Mom, hi, Dad. I have a question. Can Kiki come over? We want to ride bikes around the neighborhood.
Mom: (with a smile) Of course, dear. No problem.
Dad: Sure, let her come. Just don't forget to come back before 8:00 PM.
Mymy: (joyfully) Thank you! I'll call her and let her know she can come.
Mymy takes out her phone and calls Kiki.
Mymy: (on the phone) Hey, Kiki! My parents said you can come. Tell yours to drop you off.
Kiki: (on the phone) Great! I'll get ready and come over. Bye!
Scene 3: In Front of the Schoppenboer's House
Kiki arrives by car with her parents. She gets out of the car and waves to Mymy, who is waiting in front of the house.
Mymy: (smiling) Hi, Kiki! Ready for a bike ride?
Kiki: (enthusiastically) Sure! Let's go.
Mymy leads Kiki to the garage, where Coco's bike is parked.
Mymy: You can borrow Coco's bike. She let me lend it to you.
Kiki: (with a smile) Great, thanks!
Scene 4: Bike Ride
The girls hop on their bikes and head out for a ride around the neighborhood. They ride along picturesque fields, canals, and past a traditional Dutch windmill.
Mymy: (smiling) Let's go to the nearby lake. It's so peaceful there.
Kiki: (enthralled) Yes, I love being by the lake. It's so serene.
Arriving at the lake, they sit on a bench and watch the swans swimming on the water. Kiki notices a notice hanging nearby informing about an upcoming kermis.
Kiki: (nostalgically) Remember a few years ago at the kermis when I drove the bumper cars, and you were shooting at others with the toy gun?
Mymy: (laughing) Of course! We were unstoppable then. All the other kids were running away from us.
Kiki: (laughing) And then we got grounded for a week. Those were the days. We had so much fun.
The girls laugh together, reminiscing about their past adventures.
Scene 5: Continuing the Ride
The girls continue their ride, passing by more picturesque spots.
Kiki: (looking at Mymy) You know, I wanted to thank you for always being there for me, even when we argue.
Mymy: (smiling) We're friends, Kiki. Arguments are normal, but we always manage.
Kiki: (with a slight smile) True. But sometimes... I feel like I wish you knew something more.
Mymy looks at Kiki with interest, sensing that Kiki wants to tell her something important.
Mymy: (encouragingly) What's up, Kiki?
Kiki: (hesitantly) Mymy, I... (suddenly trails off) Never mind, it's nothing. Maybe another time.
Mymy feels like Kiki wanted to confess something to her, but she doesn't press.
Mymy: (gently) Okay, Kiki. When you're ready, I'm here for you.
Kiki smiles gratefully, and the girls continue their ride, enjoying the peace and beauty of the surroundings.
Scene 6: Back at the Schoppenboer's Home
The girls return from their bike ride to Mymy's home. Coco and Maya, Mymy's sisters, are in the kitchen.
Maya: Oh, hi, Kiki!
Kiki: Hi.
Coco: (with a smile) How was it, girls?
Mymy: (with a smile) Great, thanks. The ride was awesome.
Coco: (looking at Mymy and noticing her unusual behavior) Glad you had fun.
Kiki says goodbye and leaves as her parents' car is already waiting for her in front of the house. Mymy walks her to the door and then returns to her room.
Scene 7: Mymy's Room
Mymy sits on her bed, reflecting on the events of the day.
Mymy: (to herself) Why do I feel so strange when I'm with Kiki? What if it's more than just friendship?
Mymy starts to worry about how people will react to the news that she secretly loves her friend. She wonders how it will affect her relationships with her friends and family.
Mymy: (quietly) What if no one accepts it? What if I lose Kiki and everyone else?
Lost in her thoughts, Mymy lies down on her bed, hugs Captain Koek's pillow and lies there in absolute silence, afraid of what the future holds for her.
End

Ongezellig

My wife loves great food and has dropped hints over the years that she wants to explore more of the top restaurants in LA so I am looking for recommendations for some spots that will blow her mind. I'm imagining something like that "Forks" episode from The Bear (iykyk) but am very open minded. I just don't know where to start looking aside from basically Googling "best restaurants in LA" or browsing the MICHELIN star website. So here I am, coming to the great people of Reddit to seek inspiration.
I don't mind spending a few hundred bucks each and can drive anywhere in the LA area if it's worth it, but we do live in Orange County so that's something to keep in mind. We aren't picky as long as the restaurant is bomb. Thanks in advance!

For those of you that have worked your entire adult life or lived on a strict budget you see the beggars and think they live on easy street. As far as labor goes it does look easy but this is not a life I would want. To wake up everyday with my only purpose in the day being to talk strangers out of money. To have to rely on complete strangers for every single thing you need. To not even be able to go get some food without begging. To not have any plans at all for your future. This one is especially hard if the beggar is over 40. If they are over 40 and they haven't been paying into social security and have no savings and no retirement and no plan. I couldn't do it. The stress of it would eat at me. You have one off week where you get banned and you are on the street. You have no self respect or pride left and you humiliate yourself on the internet for not that much money.
We all know the internet is forever. Tiktok does not exist in a bubble the behavior you display online can and will come back to haunt you in real life. Every beggar and scammer I watched long enough ended up paranoid and stressed out about strangers and it almost never looks like they are having any fun. I have yet to see any of them reach their goal of becoming a top tiktoker. They just end up spiraling and ranting on LIVE.
Maybe it seems easy because they don't have to work and they don't budget but they also don't have most of their basic needs met and haven't reached very basic milestones in life. They often don't even have a drivers license or a bank account. Some of them are pushing 50 and still have never been independent. IMAGINE THAT. Imagine being middle aged and you cannot even just go buy yourself groceries or pay your own phone. Imagine how you would feel turning on tiktok yet again to beg strangers. It couldn't be me.
Don't underestimate the value of your financial independence and your life being peaceful enough to get a bit bored. In 2024 if you have stable and boring and a budget you are winning.

Been struggling quietly for a while, but seem to be worse today.
As a kid of a parent with severe delusional psychosis, I'm worried I could slip into paranoia.
Like most of us, I've gone through childhood abuse, neglect, etc I also had a few years where I was regularly in crisis/in hospital as an adult. On top of cptsd, I'm said to have acute PTSD relating to harm from some healthcare professionals.
I've had years of therapy and I don't get admitted to hospital anymore. I am still disabled from CPTSD and some other health issues. I have learned society, our government, just people in general, are not good with disabilities that are "invisible" even tho slow progress seems to be happening.
I am constantly feeling petrified about continuing to live in this world. I can't get a sense that I am secure or safe, even when I'm trying to involve the "wise adult" me. The anxiety seems to be escalating and is debilitating.
The entire health system has become the embodiment of terror, despite mostly good experiences in the last year that I have benefitted from. And actually, many professionals went above and beyond in the past. I have a lot to be thankful for.
Still, I recently spent a few months ignoring texts to have blood tests, procedures and appointments. I kept thinking somebody - a professional - will look on my health record, see how much care/issues I have, and punish me, judge me, or accuse me of untrue things. So I had to stay away. In the end i got all these things done with some support.
Also I'm on the list for a laparoscopy for endometriosis (its a diagnostic surgery). And I'm panicked that if they don't find anything, they're going to start making up theories that I'm faking, then I will be banned from healthcare
I saw two health workers yesterday, which went well. But I'm thinking the minute I left the room I was convinced they'd said unkind and judgemental stuff about me.
I'm scared about the government and what their systems will do
I think I'm an unacceptable human being because I cant work and I'm going to be targeted or forced
I know im not delusional, as I still have insight and doubt. But I'm worried about it, as im sure my mother's illness started with the "everyone is bad/ dangerous" mentality. It's one she maintained throughout and even now that she is better.
I'm seeing my psychiatrist in a few weeks and I don't even know how to explain this. Shes a really great doctor, but im still scared of the reaction I'll get

Not sure this has been mentioned lately, but I just blew someone's mind in another thread and realized this might not be well known.
There are 13 wooden firewatch towers scattered across Appalachia. If you climb to the top and look out at the world you'll get an option to "survey." Clicking the survey button will cause every marked location within range of the tower to show up on your map.
Tower locations: https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Fallout_76_survey_towers
Many of these seemingly random locations will trigger things like daily quests that won't pop up until you've visited the place at least once, so if you feel like you're running out of stuff to do make sure to visit all of them.
Similarly, every train station has a map of Appalachia on the wall with pushpins or colored lights marking the locations of the other stations. Clicking on the pins/lights will mark the stations on your map.
Lastly, once you gain access to the military wing of the Enclave bunker you'll find a map on the wall showing the locations of the nuke silos. Click them to mark the locations.
The locations will be greyed out and you still have to visit them before they become fast travel locations, but you'll probably be surprised how many places there are that you haven't discovered.
Bonus train station fact: they all have bulletin boards on the wall with various posters, and a couple of them have small notes pinned to the board. All of the posters and notes will trigger side quest chains you may not have unlocked.

Hey guys, So, recently I got some casting calls and jobs from different companies looking to shoot some commercials (some big ones also). But I always categorically refuse those. And I think my agent is getting more and more grumpy... I have many reasons for this. First, I see myself as an artist, not a face for a product, and I find commercials rarely qualitatively good. Then, there is also something about that aggressive form of capitalism that makes me just uncomfortable. For context, I can live from full time acting, not well off but I am secure. But, some of the pays were quite juicy, like, half a year of salary, and I still could make good use of that money, but my heart wins always my conflict, and I stand to my values. For info, I am working in Germany, where the market is probably something else than in the US for example. Just wanted to share my thoughts on this and maybe talk about this dilemma with you. Quality work vs morals vs money.

Thanks for this great post. There is a lot to unpack here.
I do tend to play devil's advocate a lot - not for the sake of "argument", but just to practice (and encourage the practice of) adopting different points of view. Additionally, I would say my experience has led me to a differing point of view with you, and that's okay. Ultimately, in this regards, I completely agree with WillingnessGeneral69 when they said...

However, here's my take. Not official AA or CoDA, but I like to think it's an experienced opinion.
OP said...

That is a natural and understandable interpretation of what is happening, to be sure. But I would respectfully disagree. It only reduces the person down to the disease or condition IF they let it. I could run down a list of dozens of adjectives, conditions or statuses that apply to me, but I am not just those things. I am not my name either, that name is a label or symbol that stands for me. All those things may be a part of my identity, or they may be passing coincidences. But none of them are me; I am a combination of those things, along with my past, my will, my mind, my body and my soul.
One of the purposes of the repetition is to try to fully integrate (or display that the integration has succeeded) a concept that is a very bitter pill for most people to swallow. It is natural for people to resist deep acknowledgment and acceptance of any condition that requires a twelve step program. And especially with the substance abuse 12-steps, if there is no deep acceptance (step 1), there can be no meaningful or lasting sobriety. It's acknowledgement that one's point of progress is greater than their disdain for the stigma of whatever the shared negative condition is. It's also a sign that one is more likely to be more accepting of those in the meeting, not putting up the barrier of "well, I'm not as far gone as you, so I don't know if I can get anything out of this meeting, or program".
Because plenty of people go to these meetings because they "might" be need help with... whatever the meeting is for. And alot of fencestraddlers are deep down, looking to find something that tells them... "see, I'm not like them, I don't fit in here, I can go back to doing things my way, and find a different solution to my problem". Looking for a justification, not a solution. Not everyone, but it's very common in my experience.
Or to put it another way, Step 1 can be thought of as "I can't", step 2: "He can", step 3: "I'll let Him". And when an alcoholic identifies him or herself at a meeting this way, he or she is telling the meeting "I'm not fighting it in that way we all do to an extent when we first come into the rooms". I do agree, it is a little less appropriate in CoDA than it is in substance based meetings - that is my opinion, as the codependent condition is notoriously nebulous. Let us not forget, this program was adapted from AA. I believe the founders endeavor only to modify as little as possible, only where needed. Just to be sure they don't change too much and lose effectiveness.
It's not meant to be identity defining, but it is an avenue of identifying with one another, and that's very important.
When one feels it is accurate and acceptable, it is good to put modifiers around it. I'm Rando, and I'm a grateful and happy Codependent. Or if we wanted to dabble in political advocacy... I'm Rando, and I'm a person in long term recovery from substance abuse and codependency. It shows a degree of triumph. A humble brag. It says "If I can do it, you can too."
By the way, I got that second one from the documentary "The Anonymous People", which focuses on addiction as much as it focuses on stigma, and stigma is sort of related to this convo, I believe. Free on kanopy.com, if your library district participates.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqoEtUn0Agw
https://www.kanopy.com/en/product/anonymous-people
For many, pride (or hatred of the stigma, and it's low status and perceived weakness) can be a barrier to acceptance. I've seen it happen to people.... and those people aren't with us anymore. Humility, much like gratitude, is developed with practice, and repetition.

That is interesting. Just to rule out typos... are you saying you removed the contraction (I'm/I am) and it helped your perspective in this matter? Not being sarcastic or judgmental, I'm just making sure I understand. If so, very cool.

Well before her and I met she had an ex situationship she was on and off with for a year and would try to talk to someone new and he would be in the background. Then two relatives rando died and he was a dick about it and then she spent a weekend with his family and he said they weren’t gonna date and she thought she was in love and told me it was just girl talk and two months later met me. And then apparently was texting him while talking to me asking him why basically why he wouldn’t commit for the most part and we weren’t exclusive then. I then caught her in a lie about snapping him cause we were dating a month later from the above paragraph, and then she said she wanted to be civil and told me about some meet up to talk things through to move past it and they met up once with me knowing and where etc.
Fast forward five months and she wants me to be friends with him saying she wants to civil or like be friends with him and it was so awkward and her saying she was always better friends with him and then I shut it down after getting extremely uncomfortable and she agreed that was weird.
Another time goes by she goes away comes back I get a gut feeling and she was snapping him and “forgot to tell me” and sent photos of her trip and asked do you regret what you did to me and not dating me.
I almost dumped her, she was crying saying she needed closure and never told me because she knew I’d dump her I talked to our families and they agreed that she just needed closure and struggled with it.
She blocked and unfollowed and we had a great year and a half after and moved across the country with me 5 months ago, and it was a hard time after the first two months cause I had someone pass away.
Then she randomly changed her passwords and didn’t tell me to be fair I made comments hinting that she was like cheating without actually and said that was the reason then the fighting started about me needing more efforts and love etc. we broke up cause she “had a gut feeling something ain’t right “ and said she felt like a friend at times and I didn’t fully trust her. Then a week later refollowed the guy lies about it and say I would never go back.
I also think the seriousness spooked her like engagement she has no idea what to do with her life she feels to young spooked about sharing cars and finances. And doesn’t feel excited about engagement and I should be lucky that this is happening now then two years down the line and can’t look at my family when she has these doubts
But still said she loves me and attracted to me and I’m her best friend while crying and I asked her if the x had anything to do with it multiple times and she said no
She sent me a long paragraph last week I didn’t respond, can anyone read through this and help guide through my thoughts so I can process

I've been doing mtb tracks for couple of weeks, been so much fun! Jumping around on it. THe last MTB track I just did was hardcore though, so many big couble stone sections, constant stream of that and huge roots. Took such a beating, and my hands are freaking done. The scooter now has a clunk sound. Could the stem or the thing holding the stem or something like that break off from all this abuse? How would I asses the thing? No bicycle shops looks at e scooters around my area. I shoulod maybe do a Facebook post if anyone know and can help with scooters, might be a good idea to have it checked. Already done over 700km in a little over a month, so much fun! Thanks for any help or suggestions I can get. I just don't want something to break and I fall over and freaking die full speed. :D