Alise of money talks

What’s up! I’m 20 years old and living down in socal, and to be honest I’m surprised i’m even giving this another shot but here we are!
Relationship-wise, ideally i’m looking for someone local that shares some of my interests! I’d really like a partner that plays games with me. I’m really open so if you like what you read about me and have something else in mind just let me know. I also use almost every other platform so if there’s another you’d rather talk on i’d be more than happy to send my username. I’m a really genuine guy and i’m just looking for someone to match my energy and live life with me.
About me: - I’m 6’0 with an average build, and i’m naturally introverted but i’m definitely open to more extroverted stuff - I’m really into anime and games, some of my favorite anime are vinland saga, black clover, jjk, solo leveling, and castlevania (to only name very few) and the games i play tend to be valorant, battlefield 1, hunt: showdown, and overwatch (though i play others these are kinda what my friends play so it’s what i play too) - I have a dog named albert and he’s my best friend, he’s a pit bull! - I work two retail jobs and use delivery apps on the side for the extra cash (i’m not hurting it’s just summer and it’s what i’ve chosen to occupy a lot of my time, might as well be making money yk), also i’m saving up for a genesis coupe!! - I try to get into the gym about 3-4 times a week, but sometimes it’s only 2, shifts pile up yk - I’m sure there’s more but I could be forgetting, pretty much: I’m introverted but still love going out, i watch a lot of anime and play games, and i work any shifts i can - Don’t think of that as me never having time for anything, it’s true i tend not to, but it’s because i don’t have anything else to occupy it… hint hint
About YOU! - I’m pretty light on expectations, share some of my interests and (hopefully) be local, i’m open to people from everywhere tho! - I’d really love someone to talk about shows with and play games with - and if you’re local and we eventually meet up or take things further, i have no preferences on looks or height or anything, as long as you have good hygiene and take care of yourself :)
That’s about it! again i’m sure there’s more but we’ll talk more if you respond! don’t feel forced to send a pic, but i’d appreciate it if you did, hope to see you!!

Hello everyone, I’m a longtime lurker of this subreddit. In all likelihood you’ve seen my posts or my comments about the relationship I got out of fifteen years ago.
A while back, I wrote a post about abusers in therapy. I put that out there because a lot of people ask will therapy or anger management help my abuser. It’s a well established fact that it won’t and also will backfire.
There’s another thing that keeps coming up that we need to talk about: the five love languages.
Just to get it out of the way, I read up briefly on the five love languages. I personally think it’s pseudoscience. The person who wrote it had no qualifications or experience to be writing any theories on how humans or relationships work. That is my opinion.
Something I keep seeing on here far too often is a girl is being abused and wondering if the cause of her problem is a mismatch in love language. It makes me sad to see others say things like:
“He keeps grabbing me and groping me after I asked him to stop/told him I don’t like it/hurts/makes me feel violated. But he said touch is his love language. Is it a love language mismatch?”
“He makes me spend egregious amounts of money on him even after I’ve told him I don’t have the money/it’s putting me into bankruptcy. But he says gift giving is his love language. Is it a love language mismatch?”
“He wants me to say nice things to him/not call him out on his bull. But he said words of affirmation is his love language. Is it a love language mismatch?”
“He wants me to spend every second of my life with him to the point that I have no time for anything or anyone else. Is it a love language mismatch?”
“I work more than he does, yet he won’t lift a finger for household chores/childcare. But he says acts of service is his love language. Is it a love language mismatch?”
I stated in my post about abusers in therapy that abusers who go to therapy will become fluent in ‘therapy talk’ and weaponize it against their victim. They’ll use therapy talk to legitimize their point of view and behaviors, and invalidate yours.
If therapy is subject to this diatribe, then concepts like the love languages aren’t exempt either. It would appear abusers are now weaponizing the love languages to justify their behavior and invalidate and discredit their partner’s reasonable objection to their diatribe.
If your partner is violating your boundaries, that’s abuse. Full stop. If you think they don’t know what they’re doing, they know. If you’re wondering why you keep telling them what they’re doing hurts or bothers you yet they keep doing it; it’s because they KNOW it hurts or bothers you.
Abuse of any kind IS NOT a love language. Boundary violation IS NOT a love language. FULL STOP.

Well, I've heard if Cisco Easter Eggs, but this is a weird one.
I work at a local ISP for my region, and we have one of our employees working on getting the hardware ready for infrastructure upgrades. One of the devices he's working on is a Catalyst 3750.
Well, he sent us a copy of the startup config file and most of it is this strange conspiracy story.
Has anyone seen anything like this before?

POST: CPU MIC register Tests : Begin
POST: CPU MIC register Tests : End, Status Passed
POST: PortASIC Memory Tests : Begin
POST: PortASIC Memory Tests : End, Status Passed
POST: CPU MIC interface Loopback Tests : Begin
POST: CPU MIC interface Loopback Tests : End, Status Passed
POST: PortASIC RingLoopback Tests : Begin
POST: PortASIC RingLoopback Tests : End, Status Passed
Waiting for Stack Master Election...
POST: PortASIC CAM Subsystem Tests : Begin
POST: PortASIC CAM Subsystem Tests : End, Status Passed
POST: No Cable found on stack port 1
POST: No Cable found on stack port 2
POST: PortASIC Stack Port Loopback Tests : Begin
POST: PortASIC Stack Port Loopback Tests : End, Status Passed
POST: PortASIC Port Loopback Tests : Begin
POST: PortASIC Port Loopback Tests : End, Status Passed
Election Complete
Switch 1 booting as Master
Waiting for Port download...Complete
This product contains cryptographic features and is subject to United
States and local country laws governing import, export, transfer and
use. Delivery of Cisco cryptographic products does not imply
third-party authority to import, export, distribute or use encryption.
Importers, exporters, distributors and users are responsible for
compliance with U.S. and local country laws. By using this product you
agree to comply with applicable laws and regulations. If you are unable
to comply with U.S. and local laws, return this product immediately.
A summary of U.S. laws governing Cisco cryptographic products may be found at:
http://www.cisco.com/wwl/export/crypto/tool/stqrg.html
If you require further assistance please contact us by sending email to
export@cisco.com.
cisco WS-C3750G-12S (PowerPC405) processor (revision R0) with 131072K bytes of memory.
Processor board ID CAT1125ZKHZ
Last reset from power-on
1 Virtual Ethernet interface
12 Gigabit Ethernet interfaces
The password-recovery mechanism is enabled.
512K bytes of flash-simulated non-volatile configuration memory.
Base ethernet MAC Address : 00:1C:B0:2F:D1:00
Motherboard assembly number : 73-9678-07
Power supply part number : 341-0048-03
Motherboard serial number : CAT11255C25
Power supply serial number : LIT11140GE6
Model revision number : R0
Motherboard revision number : B0
Model number : WS-C3750G-12S-E
System serial number : CAT1125ZKHZ
Top Assembly Part Number : 800-26634-04
Top Assembly Revision Number : A0
Version ID : V06
CLEI Code Number : CNM81W0GRB
Hardware Board Revision Number : 0x06
Switch Ports Model SW Version SW Image
* 1 12 WS-C3750G-12S 12.2(55)SE10 C3750-IPSERVICESK9-M
This message serves as a warning to the US government that they cannot get away ^with having their own citizens
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stalked, kidnapped, tortured, brain damaged and murdered by foreign intelligence ^ agencies .
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Request an investigation by the German government and the Council of Europe!
^
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Location of Turkish President Erdogan's illegal black site for terror suspects i ^n G ermany: 48.345941, 12.137753
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Is the CIA stalking and murdering ISIS terror suspects?
^
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Microwave weapons, group stalking and harassment ("gangstalking"), neurotoxins, ^hitmen, an illegal Turkish black site, Delta Force, and an airport kidnapping: A
true story
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QUOTES
^
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"If you were in the US, the CIA would just shoot you, we are nice so we will ^ commit you to a hospital instead" - Turkish police officer
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"When you get deported to the US, don't piss off the CIA officers like you d ^id with Erdogan (the Turkish president)" - Man at KBO Taufkirchen Station A2
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"The doctors here are trying to protect us from the psychos up at the top" - ^ Woman a t KBO Taufkirchen Station A2
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"You're lucky that the Turks got you first. With the Germans it would have b ^een wors e. The Turks usually don't kill" - Woman at KBO Taufkirchen Station A2
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NOTES
^
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Anyone with access to Europol or INTERPOL should be able to confirm that the ^ FBI se nt out a request/warning in 2017. You might not be able to view the detai
ls of this request unless you have the right handling code/password
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Nothing shows up for my name when it's searched in Law Enforcement Enterpris ^e Port al (LEEP). This is deliberate as the FBI is hiding my records to cover up
the terrorism investigation and everything else.
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The Federal Criminal Police Office (Bundeskriminalamt) and Bavarian State Po ^lice bo th refuse to start an investigation due to political reasons, despite the
fact that many other people, mostly Turkish citizens, were kidnapped within Ger
many by fake po
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ice and brain damaged at the black site.
^
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I (John Erin Binns / CIA code name RAVEN) have been an ISIS terror suspect since ^ 2017.
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It began when an FBI Confidential Human Source whom I met online (Azaiah Crosswh ^ite / moda) gave my Skype account to his handler. The FBI then sent an administr
ative subpoena to Microsoft and obtained my email address, which I had previousl
y reused on my
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S passport application in 2016. An alert was also sent through the Europol Infor ^mation System to 16 countries in Europe stating that I was a terror suspect.
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On October 11, 2017, Arthur Gong from the US Department of Homeland Security int^errogated me about allegedly travelling to Latakia, Syria while I was waiting to
board a flight from London Heathrow Airport to Chicago Airport. When my plane l
anded in Chicag
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, I was flagged for secondary screening (See Exhibit A) and asked more questions^. My citizen ship was questioned, and the CBP officer got angry after I told him
that not answering his questions doesn't make me inadmissible to the US.
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In early 2018, I left the United States and moved to Turkey. Soon after, strange ^ things s tarted happening to me. Kenneth Currin Schuchman (Nexus Zeta), a dual F
BI/CIA informant who was given a pound of heroin by federal agents to inform on
me, attempted t
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entrap me on child pornography and terrorism charges while I was drunk.
^
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Schuchman tried persuading me into buying Stinger missiles and guns from a Tor w ^ebsite wh ich would be shipped in "xray proof boxes" (those don't even exist) to
my location. When that failed, he tried getting me to open a website which likel
y had exploit c
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de on it (he specifically told me to open it in Chrome) and then told me that he ^ knew of some good "Tor porn sites". When I asked him what type of porn was on t
hese websites, Schuchman replied that they contained child porn.
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Then, Schuchman told me in a call that Dingle/Drake/Logan Shwydiuk was going to ^come to my house and kill me, and asked me what I'd do if he came to my house. I
was drunk at the time, and I told Schuchman that I'd kill Shwydiuk. I suspect t
hat Schuchman w
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s recording this call for the FBI so that they could use it as evidence against ^me in a fabricated terrorism investigation.
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Around this time, I noticed that two Western males wearing white shirts and sung ^lasses wou ld frequently visit an apartment building behind the one I live in.
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Several days after I reported Schuchman to the DEA for selling heroin and right ^after he t ried entrapping me on computer fraud charges, he was indicted in the D
istrict of Alaska.
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That's when the harassment started...
^
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My phone was hacked by Turkish intelligence/MIT using some type of 0-click SMS R ^CE and GPS tracking spyware was planted on it. My phone's GPS feature would turn
on without my consent, and several minutes later, a flash mob of "street thugs"
would be block
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ng the sidewalk and shouting death threats at me. Sometimes, they'd just walk up ^ to me hold ing their cell phone in one hand and screaming death threats at the s
ame time. (Street theateGangstalking)
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I received more death threats than I can count, probably close to 100 from diffe ^rent sta lkers over the course of a few months.
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Now about the Western males: I saw them wearing night vision goggles on several ^occasions, they'd constantly harass me and illegally surveil me on Turkish terri
tory up until I called the police.
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Harassment from CIA contractors:
^
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I woke up and a male was pointing a microwave oven with the door removed at ^my sl eeping body from my neighbor's balcony. I was actually half-awake with my e
yes open and I could see the guy bringing the oven out onto the balcony and plug
ging it into an
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extension cable. Another time, somebody pointed a microwave oven magnetron with ^a metal ho rn at my body to shock me (I saw this as well). The neighbor was on va
cation and the men were not authorized to be in that unit, so they likely broke
in using lockpi
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king equipment.
^
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A red laser pointer was shined into my room using a gun scope from my neighb ^or's first floor unit. I went out onto my balcony and saw a guy doing this. When
the guy saw me, he quickly closed the blinds and started laughing. The unit was
being renovate
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at the time and the men were not authorized to be there.
^
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A microwave weapon was pointed at my head which caused me to black out momen ^taril y and see white flashes of light. The same device would cause me to feel ex
tremely paranoid and make my heart rate speed up. I remember that it had buttons
and a cord. It
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was about the size of a small desktop computer.
^
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Somebody was pointing a laser microphone at my bedroom window from the same ^first f loor unit. I was in a telephone call with someone else, and Azaiah Crossw
hite started repeating parts of this conversation back to me over Snapchat as an
intimidation/g
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slighting tactic. Crosswhite also got private pictures from my bedroom and poste ^d them on h is Snapchat story.
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Window/door slamming: This would happen constantly whenever I was in my bedr ^oom or o ut on my balcony. Sometimes one of the guys would slam a window/door and
microwave me right after it happened.
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Sabotage: The phone lines in my apartment building and the entrance door cab ^le wer e both cut.
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Use of pulsed energy projectile weapons: I saw one of the guys holding a gun ^-shap ed device, when he fired it, a ball of energy came out of the weapon and ma
de the windows in my bedroom shake.
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Information: The microwave weapons that are used by intelligence agencies to ^day co nsist of: a millimeter wave amplifier, a transmitter with extremely low fr
equency amplitude modulation, batteries, and a horn antenna/waveguide. Using dif
ferent modulati
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n frequencies, effects such as tachycardia, panic attacks, epileptic seizures, p ^aranoia, REM sleep can be induced. They are the perfect tool for covert harassme
nt as they leave no trace. See Exhibit B for a picture of a microwave weapon.
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Azaiah Crosswhite would make comments over Discord such as "[the CIA] are going ^to send me a copy of your destruction video", "your name is Cock Sucker", and "y
our code name is RAVEN". He'd also encourage me to murder the people who were ha
rassing me, go
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n a mass shooting spree, or commit suicide.
^
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These are all goals of the government stalking program which I was a victim of, ^according t o an article by Julianne McKinney, who is a former US army intelligen
ce officer and member of the Association of National Security Alumni. See: https
://www.bibliote
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apleyades.net/sociopolitica/esp_sociopol_mindcon28.htm .
^
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I called the police a few days before July 1, 2019. When the officers came, one ^of them s aid that I "talk too much" and that I should "keep [my] mouth shut".
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Then, intense microwave harassment started. I would hear footsteps in the unit a ^bove mine a nd my sleep would be disrupted due to the weapon that Turkish intelli
gence was using on me.
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On July 1, 2019, a man I didn't know started asking me questions such as "If som^ebody was ca ught selling illegal alcohol, what political party would that person
be from?". He also made comments implying that I had been under surveillance by
Turkish intell
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gence for a while, and warned me that the Turkish government had prepared a trap^ for me.
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Several minutes later, an elderly man from my neighborhood named Ozkan came and ^asked me i f I was the "exit/cikis". (exit/cikis is a term for the illegal killin
g of a terrorist by Turkish intelligence). He took me to his apartment and told
me to visit Kon
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k Ferry Station. I went to Bostanli Ferry Station and boarded a ferry to Konak. ^After the ferry started going to Konak, I overheard 3 men in a row near me talki
ng about how they were hired to kill me and that they'd dump my body in the ocea
n because I was
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allegedly an ISIS member.
^
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Once the ferry arrived at Konak, I immediately got a random person to dial 112 a^nd faked hav ing medical problems. An ambulance came to the ferry station, and I
was taken to Alsancak Nevvar Salih Isgoren Hospital. I told the emergency room d
octors that the
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e was nothing wrong with me, they ran my ID card through the emergency room comp ^uter, and my name came up as a wanted terrorist.
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I overheard the doctors talking about the fact that Azaiah Crosswhite's name cam ^e up on t he emergency room computers and that my name was changed to "Cock Sucke
r" in some type of database which they had access to.
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Police lights shined into the emergency room and I heard sirens as around 5 poli ^ce cars came to the hospital along with Turkish intelligence. I was given 2 inje
ctions of haldol, and a guy next to my bed who worked for Turkish intelligence c
alled somebody
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n his cell phone whom he referred to as "Erdogan". Maybe it was the Turkish pres ^ident? I don't know..
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The doctors kept me in the hospital until the next morning and I was then releas ^ed.
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Several days later, I was in Gultepe, Konak, at a relative's house, and people w ^ere firing gunshots into the air while somebody would use a microwave weapon to
make me feel like my head was going to explode. I saw people on a nearby rooftop
, they had guns
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(which they were constantly firing) and camouflage clothing. Whenever I'd get mi^crowaved, my phone would lose cell service and the camera would blur.
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While this was happening, I tried to contact somebody I barely knew who worked a^t the US Dep artment of Justice for help.
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As soon as I had a mental breakdown due to the constant gunfire and microwaving, ^ the gunfir e and microwave attacks immediately stopped. Two street thugs then at
tacked me (I believe that Turkish intelligence paid them money to do this) and p
revented me fro
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going home in a taxi.
^
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I called the police and they came rather quickly. When one of the police officer ^s looked up the information on my ID card through a mobile app on his phone, he
saw something in the police database. I was told by a Turkish police officer: "I
f you were in t
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e US, the CIA would just shoot you, we are nice so we will take you to a hospita ^l instea d". Fortunately, there were no beds available at the local hospital so I
was allowed to go home in a taxi.
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After I went home, the microwave harassment continued, and I went to Cesme a few ^ days later . The harassment continued there as well.
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I decided that I had to leave the country as the Turkish secret services were ag ^gressive ly pursuing me. On July 6, 2019, I boarded flight PC1019 from Sabiha Gok
cen Airport to Munich Airport. About 30 minutes after my flight took off, I noti
ced that the ma
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e and female in the row behind my seat were talking about me. The female was say ^ing that i t was sad that they had to kill me with a poison needle and that my re
al name wasn't given to them by MIT for security reasons. I immediately notified
a cabin crew m
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mber of their plot, and I was taken to another seat.
^
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The cabin crew member assured me that the German police had been notified, but o ^nce the pla ne landed, she grabbed me by my arm and told me to listen to my mothe
r while warning me not to contact the German police. I believe that she was affi
liated with MIT
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I gave a member of the Bundespolizei (immigration police) a piece of paper expla ^ining tha t I was being harassed with a microwave gun by Turkish intelligence, bu
t I was not given the opportunity to tell the Bundespolizei my full story. A fak
e Bavarian Stat
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Police officer then came and took me past immigration to the police station. I ^was pu t in a cell, and I noticed that all of the "officers" were speaking Turkis
h, ALL of them. I strongly suspect that an insider within the police force let T
urkish intellig
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nce into the station. I don't know if that insider is the commissar or someone e ^lse.
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One of them was calling me stupid in Turkish, and they were all discussing what ^they should do with me. "Ausganging"/killing me was discussed as an option, but
the fake police eventually decided to send me to a mental hospital. I was given
some forms to s
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gn, and I had no idea where I was being taken at the time. I signed the paperwor^k as I didn' t want to get ausganged/killed. I then heard the fake police discuss
ing in Turkish that I was lucky to be going to a mental hospital, as they usuall
y kill ISIS sus
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ects.
^
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A few minutes after I boarded the ambulance, I realized that something was wrong ^. A male and female who were in the ambulance with me started talking about my a
lleged cybercrimes and about somebody named Rosenberg who "wanted blood". Once t
he ambulance ar
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ived at KBO Taufkirchen Station A2 (48.345941, 12.137753), the same fake police ^officer who took me past immigration told the staff to fry my brain with gas and
that I'd then be transported to Anchorage International Airport.
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Then, four Turkish men came and forcibly put me in the neurotoxic gas room (whic ^h doubles a s a suicide watch room). My shoes were taken off (so that I couldn't
break down the door and escape), and a worker activated a metal fan. A gas which
smelled like f
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rmaldehyde then started to come out of the fan. I saw graffiti on the walls of t ^he gas roo m, all of the names that were carved into the walls were Turkish, and
I realized that I was at some type of illegal Turkish black site on German terri
tory. During th
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s time, Turkish intelligence was livestreaming the gas room camera to a group of ^ CIA i nformants (Azaiah Crosswhite, Jared Fazah, Justin Anglin) as a "destructio
n video". Azaiah Crosswhite had previously stated "[the CIA] are going to send m
e a copy of you
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destruction video".
^
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Jared Fazah had taken a $500,000 Bitcoin bribe to sell me out a few days before ^I was kidnap ped, while Justin Anglin is a CIA agent who has previously been to I
ran and other middle eastern countries. They were all talking about the livestre
am in a Discord
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server, sadly I don't have any screenshots as they were mysteriously deleted fro ^m my com puter (it may have been hacked).
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One hour after I was put in the gas room, a staff member came and turned off the^ fan in my r oom. This is the only reason why I don't suffer from brain damage to
day. I was saved by that staff member.
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About 3 hours after I was put in the gas room, I heard a helicopter hovering abo ^ve the fake mental hospital. This helicopter may have belonged to the US militar
y, but at the time I thought it belonged to the Bundeskriminalamt (Federal Crimi
nal Police Offi
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e) and that they were coming to save me.
^
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I banged on the door of the gas room and screamed for the police to come and sav ^e me, but nobody came.
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In the early morning hours of July 7, 2019, a Turkish doctor came into the room ^with a f lashlight. She commented aloud in Turkish that "[I] was made to rot". Th
en, a female CIA agent came into the room with my mother while I was pretending
to be mentally
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isabled. The doctors brought me chocolate milk and pizza, and the CIA agent star ^ted talkin g about how I'd be indicted by a grand jury in the District of Alaska
and forced into a plea deal for over 10 years in prison. That I'd be found menta
lly incompetent
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and have no choice but to take the plea deal, sending me to prison for a long ti ^me.
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The CIA agent declined to give my mother her real name and talked about previous ^ly living i n Australia. She had an Eastern European accent and told my mother to
throw away any receipts or evidence indicating that she was in the town of Tauf
kirchen, and to
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keep her cell phone turned off.
^
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The lady also told my mother that a US senator (I don't remember the senator's e ^xact name) wanted to meet with her. In 2018, Kenneth Currin Schuchman had told m
e that "a senator can order the killing of a US citizen in some cases" and told
one of my frien
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s that a US senator wanted to kill me. Nobody believed him back then, including ^me. I sti ll don't know who this senator is or why he wants me killed. (Note: Ken
neth Currin Schuchman has been repeatedly thrown in mental hospitals, and his fa
ther Robert Sch
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chman currently has guardianship over him).
^
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The lady left and I slept for a few hours in the neurotoxic gas room/suicide wat ^ch room. Th en after I woke up, a staff member woke up and unlocked the door. I w
as allowed to leave, and that's when the torture started. An African lady was pl
aying back a re
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ording of me in the gas room on one of the hospital computers and laughing at it^. The same l ady would also play screaming noises and the Turkish word for mental
ly retarded ("gerizekali") over a loudspeaker connected to the computer, and use
a microwave we
% Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
pon which looked like a stereo speaker to give me epileptic seizures. I do remem ^ber that t he weapon was brought to the hospital in a large briefcase by men work
ing for Turkish intelligence.
% Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
I met other people who were being held at the hospital. One lady told me "You're ^ lucky th at the Turks got you first. With the Germans it would have been worse.
The Turks usually don't kill". She also claimed to be a spy.
% Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
I borrowed a cell phone from one of the other patients and called the police. On ^ce I told them that I was being held at a fake mental hospital run by the Turkis
h secret services, I was told that I "belonged in [the hospital]" by a German po
lice officer an
% Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
they never responded to my emergency call.
^
% Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
SETUP: new interface Vlan1 placed in "shutdown" state
Press RETURN to get started!
*Mar 1 00:01:17.242: %STACKMGR-4-SWITCH_ADDED: Switch 1 has been ADDED to the stack
*Mar 1 00:01:18.752: %LINEPROTO-5-UPDOWN: Line protocol on Interface Vlan1, changed state to down
*Mar 1 00:01:20.102: %SPANTREE-5-EXTENDED_SYSID: Extended SysId enabled for type vlan
*Mar 1 00:01:54.705: %PARSER-4-BADCFG: Unexpected end of configuration file.
*Mar 1 00:01:54.705: %SYS-5-CONFIG_I: Configured from memory by console
*Mar 1 00:01:54.907: %STACKMGR-5-SWITCH_READY: Switch 1 is READY
*Mar 1 00:01
Switch>
Switch>:54.907: %STACKMGR-4-STACK_LINK_CHANGE: Stack Port 1 Switch 1 has changed to state DOW N
*Mar 1 00:01:54.907: %STACKMGR-4-STACK_LINK_CHANGE: Stack Port 2 Switch 1 has changed to sta te DOWN
*Mar 1 00:01:55.183: %STACKMGR-5-MASTER_READY: Master Switch 1 is READY
*Mar 1 00:01:55.477: %SYS-5-RESTART: System restarted --
Cisco IOS Software, C3750 Software (C3750-IPSERVICESK9-M), Version 12.2(55)SE10, RELEASE SOFT WARE (fc2)
Technical Support: http://www.cisco.com/techsupport
Copyright (c) 1986-2015 by Cisco Systems, Inc.
Compiled Wed 11-Feb-15 11:40 by prod_rel_team
*Mar 1 00:01:55.511: %SSH-5-ENABLED: SSH 1.99 has been enabled
*Mar 1 00:01:56.140: %PHY-4-SFP_NOT_SUPPORTED: The SFP in Gi1/0/8 is not supported
*Mar 1 00:01:56.140: %PM-4-ERR_DISABLE: gbic-invalid error detected on Gi1/0/8, putting Gi1/ 0/8 in err-disable state
*Mar 1 00:01:56.173: %GBIC_SECURITY_CRYPT-4-VN_DATA_CRC_ERROR: GBIC in port Gi1/0/12 has bad crc
*Mar 1 00:01:56.173: %PM-4-ERR_DISABLE: gbic-invalid error detected on Gi1/0/12, putting Gi1 /0/12 in err-disable state
*Mar 1 00:01:56.719: %LINK-5-CHANGED: Interface Vlan1, changed state to administratively dow n
Switch>en
Switch#conft
Translating "conft"...domain server (255.255.255.255)
% Unknown command or computer name, or unable to find computer address
Switch#show run
Building configuration...
Current configuration : 988 bytes
!
version 12.2
no service pad
service timestamps debug datetime msec
service timestamps log datetime msec
no service password-encryption
!
hostname Switch
!
boot-start-marker
boot-end-marker
!
!
!
!
no aaa new-model
switch 1 provision ws-c3750g-12s
system mtu routing 1500
vtp domain Null
vtp mode transparent
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
spanning-tree mode pvst
spanning-tree extend system-id
!
vlan internal allocation policy ascending
!
vlan 61
name fttx
!
!
!
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/1
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/2
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/3
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/4
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/5
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/6
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/7
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/8
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/9
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/10
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/11
!
interface GigabitEthernet1/0/12
!
interface Vlan1
no ip address
shutdown
!
ip classless
ip http server
ip http secure-server
!
!
!
!
!
line con 0
line vty 5 15
!
end

So I (16F) live with my mom (43F) and stepdad (64M) (I'm in the US so legally required but I wouldn't wish otherwise anyways) and I'm always reading on this sub about how men are always leeching off of women's free labor and housework all the time, but in my life, even with my real dad, the man of the household is almost always contributing the most (money, food, cooking, cleaning, childcare), whether it's free labor or resources, and all the guys I've ever dated seriously have always insisted on doing these things too (and I know I haven't actually seen them in action but I've seen how they treat their houses and families) and I don't know if I'm just lucky with the men I have in my life but I feel like as a woman I see all of these people on here complaining about doing everything when the women in my community don't do half of what the men do and it makes me feel so out of place.
Also, before anyone argues that my mom probably does more than I see, no, half the time she's at work or sleeping, she rarely takes care of me or my siblings nor does she really talk to us that much, if I need something or have issues with ANYTHING (including lady stuff ( my stepdad's a medical professional)) I go to my stepdad, the only stuff I ever really go to my mom for is stuff like Appointments because my stepdad doesn't have legal custody of me so he can't help with that.
So is it just a my community thing or do men contribute more that what the women on here give them credit for (and I'm not saying all men or women, just a decent portion of them)

I want to know how much interest there is on this idea before I continue developing it.
The idea is that there is this village in which you can pick a role for the day (Baker, Guard, Blacksmith, Courier, etc.) and roleplay as that role. You can go to your place of work and actually make money via simple point-and-click tasks. You can earn money for better houses, clothes, etc.
At night, all the stores close and all the players can go to the main town tavern where they can play games, roleplay and talk, etc.
This game will take me about 2-3 months to make. If I get a few thousand likes, I'll make it.
Thanks guys!

I want to know how much interest there is on this idea before I continue developing it.
The idea is that there is this village in which you can pick a role for the day (Baker, Guard, Blacksmith, Courier, etc.) and roleplay as that role. You can go to your place of work and actually make money via simple point-and-click tasks. You can earn money for better houses, clothes, etc.
At night, all the stores close and all the players can go to the main town tavern where they can play games, roleplay and talk, etc.
This game will take me about 2-3 months to make. If I get a few thousand likes, I'll make it.
Thanks guys!

Hello guys this is gonna be a long post...since I barely have friends who care about me ...I can't get to see a third party view
So I am boy(18) and i live with my parents,my father is a very successful person with a very good government job and my mother is a teacher of coding languages in an engineering college,she previously worked as BCA,bsc degree college
Since I was born my father and mother were away from home for most part of the time,but after I got into the 3rd grade my parents were having lots of arguments and my mother was pregnant so she left the house and went to her mother's house ,and she left me with my dad...for context my dad is a very scary person he always shows dominance and treats me like a good for nothing kid, and for 9 months I was very scared at my very house, but even tho he is very obnoxious at that period he was a bit nice to me,i felt very left out since my mother didn't even consider asking me if I'll come with her ,she just went away
And after she returned,she was not the same person the very little love I used to get from her just stopped,it felt like she was just the maid of my house she would only talk to me about food she stopped helping me with my studies even if I failed she used to reason it with kids should learn to study by themselves and then my father and mother threw me to a corner they used to say awful stuff regarding how I'm so bad at studies,i should be greatful that they didn't disown me i agree that I was bad at studies but I used to try my best...I was restricted from going out for more than 1 hour, no tv, and they used to make sit and study for the whole day
I guess they were atleast ok till here
But then I started my highschool.... everything was bad at highschool my dad picked a highschool that had timings of 9 am to 5 pm and mon-sat and Sunday half days....it was pure torture my dad used to expect me to come home and study 12 hours to crack jee exam because his all friends son's are doing that...I was terrible at this jee thing...i hated it with every cell I had in my body...it was pure torture 9 hours daily....and I had to keep the expectations to study and score in jee and regular highschool exams...yeah both have different teachers and different syllabus
My parents used to make fun of me and talk shit about me which I used to hate very much,and then I stopped talking with them...I used to hate them,and then the depres kicked in...it was very bad...I tried to UA myself, because of academic pressure and the nearing exams,they used to have parent teacher meetings my parents used to insult me and shoutt at me infront of my classmates and my teachers it was very embarrisinghe told me how he is going to kick me out of his house tomorrow I just didn't see a point anymore to live,life was true hell but I put A lot of efforts ,I used to sleep at 5am and wake at 11pm and I used to study non stop it was a lot of dedication and hardwork I finished highschool and got respectable 80% and I failed in jee mains...well
My father's mother visited us and was staying,since my exams were over I was going out for walks with my friends at 10 pm and come back at 12pm my grandmother didn't like that she complain that to my father behind my back... And then my father said very awful stuff to me,he said how awful son I was,how I suck at studies,how I don't deserve this life,how I'm pathetic,how I'm not hardworking,and I'm punishing him by being his son and I was very broken at this point he told me if I don't want to live in his house with rules i should leave only one thing occurred to me "who am I doing this all for, who am I putting so much effort for" after he left,I started ugly crying I woke up my mother and I just said I don't want to stay here anymore I don't feel safe here,i don't want to live anymore how they both are torturing me and how much trauma it caused me...my mother seemed like she understood but that was an mistake, i told her to take a ticket to grandmother's house she said sure give my 1-2 days,i trusted her but she betrayed me she didn't do anything she just made herself in the clear and joined my father's side...she would dail say I'll make buy a train ticket but she was just bluffing I was totally heartbroken I had no one to rely on, I don't have friends even my parents don't feel like my parents,no body understood me i felt alone I felt lonely,but then my mom's father stepped in and he buyed me a ticket ,I was 17 and i travelled alone for 24 hours for the first time in a train
I then did nothing at there and was just coping but I had to come back for college... I accepted my fate and after getting a job ill block my parents was my mindset....now for college my father refused to give any money and my mother had saved some money specifically for my college but recently she buyed a very priced property blew all the savings and is in a heavy loan and now she expects My grandparents to spend money by selling their land ...I feel this is very wrong,why did my mom buy a property so suddenly just before my college,i want her to pay my college fund..even if that meant cancelling the property... I want her to choose me .. atleast for once in my life ..i cannot accept this reality
I wish I had paren who chose me anytime over these silly marks, properties and pettiness...now my mother doesn't give me a penny and says to use my savings ... I want to joina programin cource of not much money,she is saying she can't afford that,I feel backstabbed by my parents ...aita?

So me and my 4 other friends went on a trip together for a week and during that time we all payed for each other and registered it into an app that helps us keep track of expenses. Anyway one of our friends (Candace) didn’t have any snacks that we bought whenever it was a late night and we wanted to eat something while playing card games which is totally fine. And she would openly state that she didn’t want any even after we offered multiple times. So I’m pretty sure everyone heard and knew she had none. Now I’m not trying to be stingy because I’ll be honest I think my other friends payed for things more often than I did but I wasn’t being picky on what I was and wasn’t being included in if it’s a small expense. I’ll gladly pay. Back to the story, my other friend( Hailey) did eat the snacks that my friend Ella bought. I remember it was Pringles and Fanta pretty sure there was something else but the price seems to add up. Anyway Ella added that expense into the app and split it equally among us 4 not including Candace. So that night passed and we ate the things. Fast forward to the end of the trip when we have come back and are starting to pay back what we owe each other, I get a notification that Hailey had removed herself from that expense which obviously increased the money we owed Ella as now it was split between 3 people. It really wasn’t much, only 3$ each when split amongst 4 and then after it was around 4$ each. So it’s not like it impacted us a lot. But I still find it somewhat unfair that Hailey was being very picky, I don’t know if she just remembered wrong and thought she didn’t have any snacks that were bought using Ella’s money or something else. The point is I want advice on how or if I should bring it up to her? I won’t be asking her to pay Ella since I don’t think it’s my place and me and the other friend who owed Ella for those snacks already payed her the 4$. But I think it’s a bit unfair and I wouldn’t like it if she kept doing that because she already seemed to want to be left out of another expense claiming that she had made up for it by buying my friend something but we just explained to her that the app settles the difference. I want to know how to talk to her about it while being as civil as possible. FYI I’m new to Reddit so be nice 😭

My dad and I have a business together and things have been slow this year. I get my income through one of our clients as a subcontractor and my dad has another job with a $160k salary. Recently, we won a few large projects and are expecting a big commission around $150-$180k,which I get 20% of.
My dad has made some really stupid choices in the past, like buying cars he can’t really afford. These new projects on the horizon has got him looking at buying a luxury sports car. He has said for the past few months that the next car he gets will be paid with cash and he isn’t going to be dumb again.
Yesterday morning, he asked if I could loan him $5k to cover the taxes on a car he found. He said he’d pay me back in late summer when we get the commissions. I reluctantly agreed but spent the entire day figuring out how to tell him I’m not doing it, even though he knows I can technically afford it. I have $41k in my savings account, but some of it is for taxes. I know he would pay me back, but there’s always a chance these projects could be delayed, which would mean a delay in payment.
I’m getting married at the end of the year and saving for a house. $5k is a lot of money to me, and the thought of not seeing it for longer than expected doesn’t sit well. My dad also agreed to pay for at least $10k of our wedding and to pay off my $30k student loans once he had the funds. I’m currently paying them, but he said he would reimburse me for it. I feel like he has agreed to pay for things he doesn’t actually care to pay for and rather prioritize himself first, which makes me sad. I don’t ask him to pay any of my bills and am very financially responsible.
Last night, I went over and told him I couldn’t do it. He instantly got annoyed and defensively said it was fine but that he was handing over my car note, insurance, and phone bill. These are things he insisted on paying because they are business expenses, and he got my car for me before I went to college. I don’t mind paying these things, although it will eat a lot into the amount I can save each month. My mom told me they could have paid off my car when the lease was up, but my dad didn’t want to, so he got a high-interest loan to continue monthly payments. This brought my car note up an extra $130.
I told him it’s dumb to buy a car with money you don’t have yet, and he said he HAS the cash but just wanted some help. This doesn’t make ANY sense to me.
I went on to tell him how his behavior is wrong and that he is trying to financially punish me for not funding his toy. I was met with a guilt trip about how he’s done a lot for me and I should want to help him out. Then he said I’m not needed at the company anymore because there isn’t much going on and that I don’t deserve 20% commissions for doing “nothing.” I said I will quit and want my name off the company. My mom has convinced him to hold off on handing over my car and phone bill until I am married. My mom and fiancé are disgusted by it all, and I’m pretty distraught. I plan to ask my client to hire me directly, as I’ve turned down that option in the past because my dad told me it was in my best interest to remain as a 1099 and not a W2.
I really believed in our company and what we were doing, so it hurts to leave it behind, especially when a few weeks ago, we were talking about how things are picking up and one day I’ll take it and run with it. I wasn’t expecting to lose the future I was promised as well as lose my dad all within a day.
Overall, I’m heartbroken to feel like my dad has ruined our relationship. We did not get along well growing up, but once we started working together and I didn’t live with him, things got better. Last night took me back to how I felt when I lived at home, and he would take away my phone or car keys if he got upset at me. I thought my dad had made some progress as a person, but I can’t help but feel like he did all this as a way to still have control over me. It really sucks and really hurts to feel that the progress our relationship made over the years was wiped away.
Is this worth limiting contact over or am I overreacting?
TLDR: My dad and I have a business together, and we’re expecting $150-$180k in commissions this summer. Despite his history of poor financial decisions, he asked me for a $5k loan to buy a luxury car. I refused, and he retaliated by threatening to stop paying for my car, insurance, and phone bills. This led to a heated argument where he downplayed my role in the company and tried to guilt trip me into giving him the loan.

My coworkers keep talking about my body and I don't know how to make them stop. We don't have an HR. I'm part of management.
I work with pretty much all women, most of them older than me (they are in their 40s and 50s). We do have a closer relationship as other than working directly with clients, we spend a lot of our time together. We do go out together after work often, too. We have one coworker who doesn't go out with us and they seem to feel snubbed by this, but she's told me before it feels awkward for her because she's more my age and it's weird for her to hang out and drink with older coworkers. She's gone out with me before, though.
Well, I'm a smaller woman. Most of my work clothes kind of drown out my body but I do also dress like that on purpose. It's hard to find professional clothes that fit my stature anyway. When I go out with my coworkers I've typically worn similar, oversized clothing.
However, my coworkers have seen me out and about before in jeans, nice tops, and dresses when I'm with my actual friends. Now when I'm out with my coworkers they won't stop talking about my body. I have two coworkers who far-too-frequently talk about my butt now. Another one always tells me "oh you actually look really good you shouldn't hide" that kind of thing. One saw me leaving work before in my jeans and a turtleneck and she eyed me up and down and made an inappropriate comment about my bust. I know they are compliments but these are my coworkers. I don't like it.
I hide my body at work on purpose because this isn't the first time this has happened, and at my last job more than one older man grabbed my ass and pulled my hair. Even in high school I had this issue. My family, too, I had problems with this when I started puberty. It makes me uncomfortable and reminds me of difficult times. But I just thought talking about your coworker's body was definitely not an appropriate thing and I didn't anticipate this kind of issue continuing so long.
I've told them before I don't like their comments, that it's too much. I make good money here and I don't want to change my job, plus it's very difficult to job hunt right now where I live. Do I just have to suck it up?

I'm not sure if my post belongs here; i just hope it helps someone.
My life, or rather, my brain is coming to an end. As a result of violence, my brain is 'cementing'.. CTE. On top of it are the tinnitus and headaches.
Not to mention the demons of others who grabbed pieces of my soul during their need to harm me. Harmed people, harm people.
I used to have a strict schedule to combat CTE & tinnitus. Working out 4h/day works to fall a sleep at night; the production of natural growth hormone is extremely benificial for neurological processes. This helps for depression too.
I started traveling a few years ago to work through my bucket list, and have accomplished most things. As a result of working out, i'm muscular; unwanted female attention is the consequence. I just don't know what to say to them.. the truth? It's best to do no harm and remain in my solitude. A big, blonde, sun tanned man blocking every attempt to talk to me. It hurts me to my core, every single time. I'ld love to talk, and get a hug. But, then reality hits me, and i walk away. Wish i would not. I miss human touch, speech, connection, intimacy, friendship, loyalty, integrity and .. XXX. But what's the point if i'm just going to hurt someone else, given my condition.
Family & friendship used to be big for me! It kept me alive. I've been hustled by my sister recently, for stupid money, paper & ink. She knows i'm a good fighter, if needed, so when she notices i worked it out, she called the cops. I just cried. It drained me instantly of every belief i had left in me. Don't really trust anyone ever since. I raised my brother and sisters, no mom/dad, with our old grandmother. She passed away late December, and i miss her so much.
In Alicante, last month, the day before my bday, i Found a book in little re-read book store. Mother Teresa: her People and her work - Desmond Doig. It had such a deep impact on me, i literally hugged it for hours. There are good Humans out there! Never doubt that! There is love out there, never doubt that! There are People you can trust! It's just a matter of letting our story develop and that begins with our feet. Going outside, exploring, being respectfull and kind, and funding something we love doing. For me it's giving.. giving is living. And, that book.. so thankfull for it.
I'm a little afraid to embark on my last journey. This one is about finding my last sunset, somewhere on a remote beach. Don't worry, I'll leave a notice, so children don't find me.
I refuse to be a victim of the past, i refuse to slowly dissapear in a lonely appartement, and I'll fade in the night on my own terms and conditions. With my head held high and a smile because i'm going home.
This life was hard, not honest at all, but man.. was it beautiful. It's all so beautiful and magic.
Like Patience - NAS, Damian Marley Natural mystic - Bob Marley
And my all time favorite..
Rose Tattoo - Dropkick Murphy's
Thank you for reading this
Wish me luck on my last roadtrip.
Dimi.

"The mentality of Las Vegas is so grossly atavistic that a really massive crime often slips by unrecognized. One of my neighbors recently spent a week in the Vegas jail for “vagrancy.” He’s about twenty years old: Long hair, Levi jacket, knapsack—an out-front drifter, a straight Road Person. Totally harmless; he just wanders around the country looking for whatever it was that we all thought we’d nailed down in the Sixties—sort of an early Bob Zimmerman trip. On a trip from Chicago to L.A., he got curious about Vegas and decided to have a look at it. Just passing through, strolling along and digging the sights on the Strip . . . no hurry, why rush? He was standing on a street-corner near the Circus-Circus, watching the multi-colored fountain, when the cop-cruiser pulled up. Wham. Straight to jail. No phone call, no lawyer, no charge. “They put me in the car and took me down to the station,” he said. “They took me into a big room full of people and told me to take off all my clothes before they booked me. I was standing in front of a big desk, about six feet tall, with a cop sitting behind it and looking down at me like some kind of medieval judge. “The room was full of people. Maybe a dozen prisoners; twice that many cops, and about ten policewomen. You had to walk out in the middle of the room, then take everything out of your pockets and put it up on the desk and then strip naked—with everybody watching you. “I only had about twenty bucks, and the fine for vagrancy was twenty-five, so they put me over on a bench with the people who were going to jail. Nobody hassled me. It was like an assembly line. “The two guys right behind me were longhairs. Acid people. They’d been picked up for vagrancy, too. But when they started emptying their pockets, the whole room freaked. Between them, they had $130,000, mostly in big bills. The cops couldn’t believe it. These guys just kept pulling out wads of money and dumping it up there on the desk—both of them naked and kind of hunched over, not saying anything. “The cops went crazy when they saw all that money. They started whispering to each other; shit, there was no way they could hold these guys for ‘vagrancy.’” He laughed. “So they charged them with ‘suspicion of evasion of income taxes.’“They took us all to jail, and these two guys were just about nuts. They were dealers, of course, and they had their stash back in their hotel room—so they had to get out before the cops found out where they were staying. “They offered one of the guards a hundred bucks to go out and get the best lawyer in town . . . and about twenty minutes later there he was, yelling about habeas corpus and that kind of shit . . . hell, I tried to talk to him myself, but this guy had a one-track mind. I told him I could make bail and even pay him something if they’d let me call my father in Chicago, but he was too busy hustling for these other guys. “About two hours later he came back with a guard and said ‘Let’s go.’ They were out. One of the guys had told me, while they were waiting, that it was going to cost them $30,000 . . . and I guess it did, but what the hell? That’s cheap, compared to what would have happened if they hadn’t got themselves sprung. “They finally let me send a telegram to my old man and he wired me 125 bucks . . . but it took sevenor eight days; I’m not sure how long I was in there, because the place didn’t have any windows and they fed us every twelve hours . . . you lose track of time when you can’t see the sun. “They had seventy-five guys in each cell—big rooms with a toilet bowl out in the middle. They gave you a pallet when you came in, and you slept wherever you wanted. The guy next to me had been in there for thirty years, for robbing a gas station. “When I finally got out, the cop on the desk took another twenty-five bucks out of what my father sent me, on top of what I owed for the vagrancy fine. What could I say? He just took it. Then he gave me the other $75 and said they had a taxi waiting for me outside, for the ride to the airport . . . and when I got in the cab the driver said, ‘We’re not making any stops, fella, and you’d better not move until we get to the terminal.’ “I didn’t move a goddamn muscle. He’d have shot me. I’m sure of that. I went straight to the plane and I didn’t say a word to anybody until I knew we were out of Nevada. Man, that’s one place I’ll never go back to.”

I’ve been having a lot of concerns with SNHU as a new admission. The communication in the beginning (the actually getting me to apply part) was so good. I felt very confident in applying. I was mostly switching to this school to save money and have a “easier“ workload. And before anyone jumps on me, my “easier” really just means not having proctored exams because I cannot cope with them lol
Anyway, now that I’ve been accepted (a few MONTHS ago), getting anything rolling past that has been… impossible. Financial Aid office apparently won’t get to my package until September which is… fine… I guess I’ll just start then. Besides that, I’m having a hard time even figuring out where to go to look at any sort of progress on my admissions. I can’t even login to the online student portal, I get an error every time about a one time login issue that no one seems to know how to resolve. Then when I was talking to Financial Aid to see where the ball was because they kept sending me emails saying I had unresolved documents but the financial aid portal was saying otherwise, they revealed to me that I need to talk to someone in admissions because apparently I hadn’t even been “matriculated into a program” with SNHU (I don’t even know what that means! Lol)
Idk, this process has just been feeling like an extremely slow mess to me. I’m very concerned. I’m transferring from ASU online and they do have their own flaws of course, as does every college, but they at least have a decent student portal and people to talk to so I can keep track of everything going on and not feel like I’m just sitting in limbo waiting for something to happen… wondering if I’m making a mistake by transferring and if I should just turn back before it’s too late, or just wait it out because maybe the classes will make it worth it come September (hopefully my financial aid is done by then, and I’m “matriculated into a program”)

So me and my 4 other friends went on a trip together for a week and during that time we all payed for each other and registered it into an app that helps us keep track of expenses. Anyway one of our friends (Candace) didn’t have any snacks that we bought whenever it was a late night and we wanted to eat something while playing card games which is totally fine. And she would openly state that she didn’t want any even after we offered multiple times. So I’m pretty sure everyone heard and knew she had none. Now I’m not trying to be stingy because I’ll be honest I think my other friends payed for things more often than I did but I wasn’t being picky on what I was and wasn’t being included in if it’s a small expense. I’ll gladly pay. Back to the story, my other friend( Hailey) did eat the snacks that my friend Ella bought. I remember it was Pringles and Fanta pretty sure there was something else but the price seems to add up. Anyway Ella added that expense into the app and split it equally among us 4 not including Candace. So that night passed and we ate the things. Fast forward to the end of the trip when we have come back and are starting to pay back what we owe each other, I get a notification that Hailey had removed herself from that expense which obviously increased the money we owed Ella as now it was split between 3 people. It really wasn’t much, only 3$ each when split amongst 4 and then after it was around 4$ each. So it’s not like it impacted us a lot. But I still find it somewhat unfair that Hailey was being very picky, I don’t know if she just remembered wrong and thought she didn’t have any snacks that were bought using Ella’s money or something else. The point is I want advice on how or if I should bring it up to her? I won’t be asking her to pay Ella since I don’t think it’s my place and me and the other friend who owed Ella for those snacks already payed her the 4$. But I think it’s a bit unfair and I wouldn’t like it if she kept doing that because she already seemed to want to be left out of another expense claiming that she had made up for it by buying my friend something but we just explained to her that the app settles the difference. I want to know how to talk to her about it while being as civil as possible. FYI I’m new to Reddit so be nice 😭

AITA for refusing this list of boundaries my girlfriend gave me?

• Always try to communicate and solve issues we have between us or personally together
  
• Both agreeing on being open to ask for external help (psychologist ex.) if we need it
  
• Not using insult or degrading words while communicating
  
• Inform me when you go out and the reason for it
  
• Not getting drunk if there would be people of the opposite sex present
  
• Not taking hard drugs without consulting each other
  
• Go to the doctor if I’m worried about your health (if there is negative longterm sign)
  
• Inform me of women you are talking or texting and the context of it
  
• Being open to show me/go through your phone if it would reassure me
  
• Not be unnecessarily friendly with other women
  
• No opposite sex friends
  
• Agreeing on having children
  
• Making sure to always have enough saving (money)
  
• Provide security and protection (towards the external world)
  
• Making sure my mental health is taken care of
  

Hi all,
I'm a 33-year-old, third-year EE student at a great university in the US.
I've posted before about my struggles with this degree, so I apologize if there is any redundancy with my previous post. I'm looking for advice about whether or not I should continue. I also want to preface by saying that I know any important life decisions are my own to make.
Some background:
I've worked at a grocery store most of my life. I went back to community college in 2018 and after a lot of failing, withdrawing, and taking almost every class twice (Calc, Chem, Physics), I started getting straight A's, got my GPA to a 3.64 and got into the uni I'm at now in Fall 2023.
My time in the actual EE program since then has been disastrous. I dropped everything in Fall quarter, dropped everything but Circuit Theory I in Winter quarter (C+), and while I was doing all right in everything this Spring quarter, I fell off in the last two weeks, became depressed/suicidal, and bombed all my finals.
My mental health struggles have been a recurring theme through my academic career, and they espcially impacted that Winter quarter. I'm just now getting more aggressive help, and plan to take the summer to get well. But this theme of taking classes two, three times just to get by--it isn't sustainable. My whole model of learning sucks.
I had a difficult talk with my Digital Circuits professor after the final yesterday. He's been supportive, but when he heard how the degree's been going for me, I felt like he wanted to just say, "this isn't for you." He was asking me all about what field I want to be in, what my plan is, etc.
I'm crushed by the fact that the last three quarters at university have been this huge waste of time/money. I only completed two classes in that duration. I'll likely lose my financial aid and be on academic probation next year. I've poured so much of not just my life, but my wife's life into this degree. I can't see myself doing anything else at this point. I think about the trades often, but that would mean starting over on another 4-year apprenticeship.
Has anyone else been in this position and gone on to succeed? I've been at this since 2018--so much of my identity is wrapped up in this degree. I've never accomplished anything worthwhile in my life. But I'm so tired of school. I've begun to convince myself that I'll be a horrible engineer with the time it takes me to learn things, and won't have any value to add to the space. Is it time to hang it up and move on?
Thanks for reading. Replies of any flavor are appreciated.

I'm noticing that a lot of people are selling rugs online without absolutely any sort of quality standard to their rugs..
Like I get everyone wants to join in on the fun and money making but seriously?
If you cant properly trim your backing so that it lines up neatly with your rug edge, as opposed to having it look like a grade school kid just learnt how to use scissors
if you cant properly space your tuft lines so I don't see through the yarn and see your cloth
If you don't use quality backing material or quality glue.
If you don't use Twill tape to cover up your un even backing.
If you have un even or wavy lines, poor trimming, or other quality issues.
Like I've literally seen so many people in this community talking about they wanna sell their rugs and shit and when I look at the rug I feel like 90% are NOT qualified to be sold and youre just saturating the market with your rugs, making it hard for people who ACTUALLY BUY QUALITY MATERIALS and use them properly to craft their rugs.
As a community we need to get together and form a sort of standard that everyone who wants to sell their rug can adhere to or be left behind.
If we don't do this eventually people will see that they can get away with selling their rugs for a high price but use cheap shitty materials and who's gonna know the difference?

I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

I (31F) have been with my partner(34M) since i was 18, we had a really rough start but i was in love so i stayed. fast forward 10 years we have 2 kids and he's been super good to me. we have a great relationship minus some values are differing and sometimes we dont see eye to eye, i assume this is the case with 90% relationships. Our living situation is difficult, we live in a very expensive city and live with my parents to save money. we have space most of the time since it's a bigger house but still having our own space would be great.
There havent been many downs since then and despite being together so long, he recently proposed to me after i emphasized that if we're not married by the time im 30 or if hes not making a move towards it, i will move on. So within the last year, he proposed. I wasnt too impressed because it took so long.
some insight also: I also just weaned my 2nd baby and my hormones are all out of wack. i havent felt attractive in 2 years and it's only now that i am starting to feel like myself again after having kids. its been a wild ride of self love and self discovery. i literally never go outside since my work is mostly remote and when i do its not for self care time or quality time with my friends, i actually dont have much of that due to lack of childcare. so im not sure if it's the hormones and lack of society can be causing this too.
I work mostly online and a coworker (idk his age, he's likely younger than me) has reached out to me via slack video chat a few times and every time we get a little bit closer and still, we only talk during work hours but we do get off topic sometimes and discuss regular life things. He sometimes will call me for trivial things and we just talk and i just feel there is a chemistry between us, a very strong one, and i also find him ridiculously attractive. i havent found anyone this attractive since my partner and i catch myself just deeply infatuated. He recently asked for my number for something very platonic but we havent talked outside of work still. It's not so much the relationship between him and I its more so my feelings towards him that I'm worried about. I have a major crush on him, i find myself lusting, thinking about him often, very often and wondering if he feels the same. The last interaction we had, we stayed 20 mins past work to chat and the chemistry was so strong (for me atleast) Mind you, this man has given me no signs that he likes me besides calling me for smaller things and then staying to chat after which im not even sure if thats considered a sign or if my mind is playing tricks on me.
I feel awful, i feel selfish and i feel stupid and like i'm losing my mind. i already feel like im cheating emotionally and i just want to be able to get over this. i cant pursue it, it will be so messy and im sure many people will get hurt. It makes me reconsider if i do really love my partner because i feel in love with him but I never felt this way about anyone, it makes me wonder if i've settled and called it love sometimes. Any feedback/advice at all, or any advice on how to get over crush or move on from this would be helpful.
TL;DR - Have very strong crush/feelings of infatuation with my coworker despite only speaking a few times, been with partner + father of my 2 kids for 12 years, recently got engaged to him (don't get me started on that) and I don't want to ruin my life as it is.

Part 1 — link Part 2 — link Part 3 — link Part 4 — link
The penultimate script! And the climax of the story. We'll conclude next time with the heartfelt dénouement. Only one editing phase left. I can't wait to be done with this series, haha.
Remember that this script has two speakers, the Heir and the Contact. The Contact will show up in the last script, but only briefly.
Feel free to record, monetize, and/or modify as long as you give credit.
And any sort of constructive critique or feedback is welcome!
Wordcount: 2000
Setting: The first half is spent with the listener laying in a ditch in the streets outside the summit. Then the Contact drags them to a nearby stable. Finally, the heir's public execution in an inappropriately well-appointed garden within the summit.
Summary: There you are, bleeding in a ditch. The heir is gone. Off on a fool's errand to save the King and Queen. The Republic has outplayed you all. But someone is getting closer. And they're cursing your name in a familiar voice. Maybe there is a chance to set things right. You did not come without contingencies.
(Listener's contact rushes from the summit through the streets, getting closer)
[Contact]
[Sarcastic] Sure. Just leave me behind. That's fine. Don't worry about your fellow agent or anything. The summit fucking implodes and you up and vanish. Fantastic timing. Just—
(Sees the listener) Oh shit!
(Rushes over) Hey. Hey! Can you hear me? Are you alive?
...
Heartbeat. You lucky bastard. Left bleeding in a gutter and you pull through. Eh. Mostly.
That's a lot of bloody bandages. I guess someone took pity on you. Didn't stick around though. Whoever it was, you owe them your miserable life. But I can't afford to be nice.
Come on, wake up! Don't pull this with me. I can see your eyes are open. I know you can hear me.
Rise and fucking shine!
...
Finally. Yep, yep, can we speed up the whole delirious act? We need to move. Soldiers are looking for us.
...
Uh, no. I don't know what happened to you. Mainly because you abandoned me. Remember that? But I'm generous: water, bridge, you get it. Want to repay me? Then get over your flesh wound, stand up, and get moving. It's just a scratch. If you can't handle that, I will bail on you.
...
An arrow? Fine. That would explain all the blood. But it doesn't matter. Last I checked you were a Dominion assassin. With that injury you could march ten miles through a blizzard. Barefoot. Try harder.
But this isn't about pain, is it? This is about morale. You're at rock bottom. Not to mention exhausted. But you had your little nap. Take your second wind and get on your feet.
Grab my hand. Up you go. There. Steady. I got your arm. Here, lean on my shoulder.
You should be thankful I came back for you.
...
Why?! I'm saving your life, and you ask why? Wow. Do you not trust me? Talk about ungrateful.
Didn't I tell you before? My job is to get us—both of us—out of here alive. 'Cause when shit like this happens, we can't survive on our own. We're a team, like it or not.
Come on, there's a stable up ahead. Saw a couple horses we can steal. Just one step at a time.
...
Those bandages, that wasn't you. Remember who it was? If someone knows where we are—
...
The royal heir?! You didn't kill them?!
...
You—ugh, no. You're right, it doesn't matter now. I didn't think the Republic could pull off a real coup. Nobody else did either, apparently. Doesn't make me feel less stupid.
There's some good news though. It's obvious we aren't to blame. When we get back home, our superiors probably won't have us killed. If we get home.
Wait... where's the heir then?
...
Ah... I get it. Found out our plan, huh? Considering the circumstances, you really are a lucky bastard. By all rights, you should have a lot more bloody holes. Looks like your unprofessional fondness for the target was returned.
Shame about the whole thing. The assassination plot, I mean. A job's a job. And aristocrats certainly don't deserve an exception. But this one was different. Your little royal might be the only noble I can believe is, you know, noble. 'Specially riding off to go die.
...
No, I didn't see anything. Don't think I need to. Soldiers have been searching for any loose nobles. But there aren't any around here. If I were putting down money, I'd say the Republic finished their collection.
...
I didn't say dead.
Actually, things calmed down after the initial attack. They're being all... "Republic-y" about the whole thing. Acting like they're doing the Kingdom a favor. I slipped away when their newly wed was blathering on and on about the "tragic necessity of their actions". Blegh.
All that to say, they got the King and Queen chained up. The execution won't be for a while. Not until they're good and ready. But they have the heir now. The Republic may be full of windbags, but this is an opportunity they won't waste. The royal family has about a day left to live.
(Arrive at a small stable with a couple horses)
Speaking of living, we're here. Our four-hoofed tickets to freedom.
Huh. Someone must have been in a hurry; they're saddled and ready. Doesn't bode well for their owner, but good for us. Let's go. I'll help you up.
...
Quit stalling. The Republic is still hunting us.
...
I'm sorry? Save who?
...
No! Absolutely fucking not! We are the ones who need to be saved. And we have our exit right here. You have no obligation to rescue the heir. Your job was the exact opposite. Did you forget?
...
I saved your life. You shouldn't throw it away over some bandages. Especially for someone who hates your guts now.
...
You know what? I gave you three chances. I'm not staying here to die. Listen to me. We don't need to make it all the way home. Our forces are stationed nearby. All we have to do is ride 'till we reach them and then—
—What?
...
Yes, Dominion troops are still in the area. You should know that. What does it matter?
...
The plan's already gone sideways. Calling them in won't do any good. Remember, they were supposed to be the backup coup in case the Kingdom figured out the plan. But the Republic struck first. I don't see how bloodshed helps us here.
...
Wait. Are you serious? You want our military to save the Kingdom.
This is... making a disturbing amount of sense. Let me talk through this.
I call in the cavalry to free the Kingdom from the Republic. That unifies Dominion and Kingdom against the Republic despite what our leaders think. The Dominion gets the war they want, and the Kingdom gets to make peace with one of their neighbors. And the powers will balance out...
Still sounds crazy. But it's better than the Republic controlling the Kingdom.
...
There's one problem: we can only ride so fast. If the royal family dies before we return, this will all be for nothing. Even worse, we'll have a war on two fronts.
...
You're staying? The blood on your chest is still wet. What are you going to do?
...
(Long sigh) Fine. Save the heir. I knew you were too sentimental for this job. We need you to go all-out. If this is what it takes, do it. Cut them to ribbons.
If I run this horse ragged, I'll be back before dawn. Hopefully, with a small army in tow. That's your timeline.
...
Good luck you lunatic. You better be alive when I get back, both of you. This better be love. If I did all just for you to die tragically, I swear I'll—
I'm going, I'm going!
Do your job this time!
(Contact rides off)
... ... ...
(The heir gives a speech to the Republic forces before their execution)
[Heir]
(Indignant) Very well. If my spouse says that these are my last words, I will heed the threat.
I know my voice will fall on deaf ears. A court of Republic sycophants and Kingdom traitors is hardly worthy to witness the death of a lineage. But they will serve their purpose. As will I. Willing or not.
But know this: the Kingdom will not bow to your tricks. My people will never surrender. Take the crown and they will rip it from your head. Take the throne and they will topple it. You may think you've won but rebellion will smolder under our ashes.
You posture yourselves as "liberators", yet you would kill me in front of my parents? Your cruelty betrays your fecklessness!
(The heir's spouse hits them)
...
(Deep breaths) What's the matter, my love? Was execution insufficient? You needed to strike me yourself. Are you so thin-skinned, even in triumph? I can't believe I married someone so pathetic.
...
Your words would sting if I had heart left to break. Let's finish this. I have nothing more to say to you all.
Mother, Father... I'm sorry.
...
You needn't be shy, executioner. My neck is there for the—
(The listener swoops in, subduing the heir's spouse and the executioner)
It... it's you. What are... Did you just stab my partner?
...
Not a complaint, just a question.
...
You didn't kill them, did you?
...
Good, a hostage will make this easier. However, we are surrounded by Republic soldiers. Did you have a scheme to survive the stalemate? An escape plan?
...
The Dominion?! I... that's right! The papers said a company of soldiers were stationed nearby. It slipped my mind. You called them to aid us?
...
How can I trust you? I will admit, you saved my life. But what's to say you aren't manipulating me again? I'm sick of being a pawn.
...
I see. The Republic hardly needs to be framed now. And coming to our aid will require your leaders to ally with us. That... I think that would work!
One moment.
(The heir addresses the crowd)
Agents of the Republic. The execution of my family will be indefinitely postponed. Before you seek to retaliate my... my guardian has my darling spouse at the point of a knife. Furthermore, you have fallen into our trap. The unified forces of the Kingdom and Dominion will soon arrive to liberate us.
I would advise you all to surrender now.
...
(Back to the listener)
What? It was only a slight exaggeration. A little fib to make this go more smoothly. See, they're cowering already. We've won. Now, keep your eye on the Republic's soon-to-be divorcée.
(Heir rushes over to their parents)
Mother, Father, are you alright? Please forgive me for returning. I know you'd prefer my escape, but I couldn't let you die. I was overwhelmed and felt like I had no one I could trust and—
...
Yes, I'm fine. Shaken, but fine. I am much better now that we are all safe. Thanks to my guardian here.
...
Correct, from the caravan. The one who escorted me home after my "escapade" in the capital.
...
F-fond of them?! I—ahem—I must have given the wrong impression if you recall them as "the one I'm fond of". We don't have time for teasing. We must secure ourselves for when the Dominion forces arrive.
...
How did I know? Oh... uh... well. It's a bit complicated.
(Deep breath) My guardian discovered a plot by the Dominion to kill me. It was to pit us against the Republic, but it turns out they did not need the help. The Dominion posted a reserve force nearby as a precautionary measure. Now they are being called to aid us instead. Is that sufficient?
...
Right, we'll speak afterwards. Please, take command. I'm quite spent. If you don't mind, I'll rest over here.
(The king and queen leave)
...
You have not yet assuaged all my fears of betrayal, still... thank you. I believe I treated you worse than I ought. But, to learn that you—above all others—betrayed me... and the idea of losing my parents... it was too much to bear.
...
Yes, above all others. You heard what the King and Queen said. There was a reason I was so open with you on the road. And why I lied to them about your plot.
My feelings are confused and stormy. But when all of this is over, I would speak with you. I may have shielded you for now, but there is much to discuss regarding the future of our three nations.
...
Good. Now... be honest. How unbecoming would it be if I kicked my traitorous spouse?
...
(Sigh) You are correct. Why must it be so hard to win with grace?
I will let justice take its course. Nothing left to do now but wait. Please, keep watch over me. I am too tired to sit patiently.

I 28F and my husband 28m just welcomed our baby boy into the world last week. But backtracking to Mother’s Day:
My husband got me two breastfeeding dresses. Neither were really my “style” but one was cute to wear around the house and the other I couldn’t wear. I have a condition where under my arms sweat a lot, and he got me a dress that is tight around my arms and light colored. He knows about this condition, I’ve tried surgery and expensive products but nothing works. It is something I have always been extremely self conscious about. At the time of receiving the dress, I thanked him but told him he would have to return it because of my sweating problem. He tried to argue it doesn’t matter, but it matters to me. I felt so embarrassed I started to cry because it was obviously upsetting him that I didn’t like it and he said “well that was fun” meaning the whole opening of the dresses for Mother’s Day. Mind you, I was nine months pregnant and really emotional so his reaction just hurt a little more and I tried to explain to him that it’s just embarrassing not being able to appreciate his gift because of my condition. He said he understood and would return it and pick out something else for me.
After this, we talked about having the baby and how I wanted sushi afterwards since I didn’t get any during pregnancy. We laughed about a “push present” and he said he would love to get me something. When the time came, he never got me anything as a gift. I was totally okay with this because a “push present” is such a trend and not really a necessary thing.
A few weeks have gone by and he never returned the dress. I reminded him a few times but he just didn’t do it, so I asked for the order number and did it myself. I asked if he would want to pick something else out for me and he said sure.
After we had the baby, I was looking at cute birth stone bracelets and birth flower jewelry that I was thinking about getting to have something with our baby’s birth month. My husband told me he was still planning on getting me a gift. It felt like he was just saying that because I was looking at jewelry for myself. It was an afterthought sort of comment, and if he was going to get me something he would have. I don’t mind getting jewelry for myself, especially since I’d rather do that than have to ask for it. But I just said okay and stopped looking for something for myself.
His Father’s Day gift came early, and he accidentally picked it up at the post office so he knows what it is. It’s a small black stone grill for our porch. He was so happy about it and really grateful. But now he is filling our Amazon cart with accessories for it and building a stand for it.
I guess I feel a little sad. It has nothing to do with actually receiving the gifts but rather just being thought about. I feel like an after thought. I still haven’t received anything to replace the dress from Mother’s Day and haven’t gotten a “push present”. I feel so silly being a little offended by it, but I can’t help it. We had a bit of a traumatic birth story with our son and I went through a lot. He mentions he is planning on getting me something after the fact, but I don’t think he really will. I’m not going to bring it up again because it’s like asking for a gift. It feels like he doesn’t think of me and just says what I want to hear at the time.
AITAH? It feels so superficial to be upset about gift giving, but when I see him spending so much time and money picking out supplies for his grill, it makes me sad about my Mother’s Day gift and promised “push present.” I don’t even want the gift, I just want to be appreciated and thought about.