I think it's about time I share my journey to discovering and falling in love with Tally Hall.
Even though I'm very new to them, they're becoming important to me as well. I didn't really know them that well, I just knew them as the guys who did the song from the "Do you like how I walk? Do you like how I talk?" meme and the "Hidden in the Sand" song everyone uses in FNAF animations. I heard "Turn the Lights Off" in my graphic arts class and was pretty surprised when some kid noticed it and said "Is this by Tally Hall?" They had more stuff? All I really knew was that they got popular, went on an indefinte hiatus, but still had their mark on the internet as a whole.
One day though, I saw a video pop up in my recommended: "The Mind Electric - A Twitter Musical" I watched it, and I was pretty confused and creeped out by the song and literally thought it was a fanmade FNAF song. I then looked the song up and listened myself and didn't like the reversed parts, so I THEN found a lyric video for the Undistorted Version (I obviously didn't know there was two versions at the time) and was sadly underwhelmed at the time, confused as to why people held it as such a masterpiece. Later I found the Demo 4 version used in a fnaf video, but otherwise I didn't auite understand why people liked it. To me, it was just a creepy song, just a demonic Bohemian Rhaspody and nothing more,
BOY WAS I WRONG.
I also had added "&" to a playlist with overstimulating music, and thought it was pretty good, but I didn't think about it too much.
Fastfoward to 2023, where I found Allytall's ultimate mashup version of TME and decided to give it another chance. And...I was BLOWN AWAY. I loved this version so much and considered it THE version, the ONLY version.
But then I learned it was from an album. A little album called Hawaii Part II.
I did some research on Hawaii Part II, read a few articles and the like. One article mentioned that there were three songs that captured the adventure of sailing/exploring: Isle Unto Thyself, Stranded Lullaby, and Dream Sweet in Sea Major. And since I had just gotten back into Candle Cove at the time, found that quite fitting. The one I listened to first was IUT, right in the middle of class at school.
Oh. My. GOD.
I fell head over heels in LOVE with this song. To me, it has a sort of Fruitger Aero sound, and it has a dreamlike feeling that made me feel serene and safe, and reminded me of childhood. It was a song I could close my eyes and turn my brain off to, and it was a comfort song for me after that day.
The following day, I decided to listen to the rest of the album.
Words literally cannot even begin to describe how incredible this album is. There's just so much to love. Every single song has its own feel, with the romantic ballroom-dance of White Ball, the drama and dread conveyed in Murders, the insanity of The Mind Electric, finally ending with the melancholy beauty of Dream Sweet In Sea Major. All of it is so carefully crafted together, woven into a story to go with it. It is a masterpiece, and it's my favorite album of all time at the moment.
Then I learned Miracle Musical was related to Tally Hall. Wait, the guys from earlier? THEY (well, ONE of them...) made THIS?
It was then when I finally started to appreciate them and tried out a bit of their music. The first of which was Good Day. Again, wait, THEY made this? They made something THIS good and THIS happy sounding?
I remember one of the ones I fell in love with was Spring and a Storm. I listened to it in the middle of my theatre class, and was, again, blown away. It has a sort of "Here Comes the Sun" vibe to it, so hopeful and filled with optimism that it made you want to cry of joy. This song embodies my life's motto: Life is about creation.
And then The Bidding. Thought the humming was weird, but then it got AMAZING.
Then I learned more and more and more about them. T.H.I.S came along. Happy Monster Band was a thing. Rob Cantor did music for Disney. He did that Shia Labeouf song I heard about. They were in a CRAYOLA COMMERCIAL? AND THE SIMS 2? They did THIS MUCH STUFF? That's incredible! They're EVERYWHERE!
The more I learned, the more I listened, the more and more I watched, my love for them grew and grew and grew. Even though I'm VERY new to the Tally Hall fandom and JUST got into them this year, I now feel as if I've known them all my life. This is kind of a cliche thing to say, but something about them is just unlike any other band; the lyrics being so clever, ranging from childlike and silly at first but are deep and existential, the band members themselves, EVERYTHING is just so amazing. I don't know why it took me so long to get into them because this is one of those moments where you listen to a band and think "ME. This is MY kinda thing. They wrote this for ME.".
I know this whole monologue of mine is just sorta rambley since I'm tired atm, but this is really the only way to describe all of this. They've been racing around in my brain, in and out of my head, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
What an incredible band. I mean that. Truly incredible.

• When I got pregnant without being married first: "...but, but, you have to be married for that!" (She herself was pregnant at a very young age and aborted the child (independently and at home) because her boyfriend didn't want it).
• She pronounced Shampoo as „Shampong“ all her life ...
• According to her, an envelope should not only include the address, but also a personal description of the location where it is supposed to go ("the corner with the big tree, where the bicycle is always parked ...") so that the letter carrier can't miss the address.
• You only go to the OBGYN if you have sex regularly. If you don't have a sex life, you don't need an OBGYN.
• Spliffs are not cigarettes, that's why she hasn't smoked for over 50 years and can't understand why she suffers from lung cancer (stage 4).
• Dirt that one can't see with the naked eye isn't dirt, she's half blind. Bacteria do not exist because you cannot see them.
• If she doesn't like a Christmas present, she complains to the giver that the present wasn't big or expensive enough.
• Coughs and colds are derived from the birthname one carries. If your name is Sue, then you often have the flu, if your name is Bill you took to many pills, if your name is Corbin, it means you will be coughing a lot, etc.
• The type of man my SIL (her daughter) chose as her husband was influenced by her (my MILs) personal taste in men.
• People who do doorstep deals can generally be trusted if they behave nice and are wearing a suit.
• She is incontinent. People who bump into her are to blame for her ‚accidents‘.
• If you set her boundaries, you're being mean to her.
• You don't go for check-ups because you are healthy. Until you have blood in your stool and the emergency doctor tells you that you have a fist-sized tumor in your intestine that would not have required surgery if it had been discovered early during a check-up.
• Her son is, according to her, the reincarnation of John Lennon.
• Two cups of coffee a day is enough liquid, why she is constantly tired and has premature skin ageing is a mystery to her.
• Instant soup is a healthy and wholesome meal because it contains vegetables.
• If you have to pass gas, you do it loudly and on the spot, even at the dinner table. If someone at the dinner table complains about the unappetizing smell, the person is unfair and mean to her and she berates you for their ‚improper behavior‘.
• She talks with her mouth full and lets everyone see your half-digested food and smacks her lips because manners are for philistines. How else are you supposed to show that you enjoyed your meal?
• When I had to travel with her, my husband and child, I pointed out that you should never leave your suitcase unattended anywhere. 5 minutes later, her suitcase was stolen. She hissed at me that I should have told her explicitly that she had to look after her suitcase, because she was looking after mine.
• You vote for the politician (and party) who looks the best, can dress well and has a nice face. Ugly people are bad at what they do.
• If she doesn't like something, she complains loudly about it on the spot.
• If someone comes to her front door, is friendly and looks well-dressed and promises her that he will invest her money and heirlooms for her and tells her to put your cash and jewellery in an envelope and give to him, she just does it. Of course, she invites these strangers (and potential criminals) into her home, let them sit on her couch and offer them coffee.
• If this person comes back a second time and asks her to hand over a five-figure sum for further investment, then of course she does it, because she's clever.
• She believes that you have to lie on the phone because the police is always listening in.
• If you wear dentures, you don't need to brush your teeth.
• If you have a bump on your nose, use a hammer and hit on it. Then the problem is solved. Men don't like women whose noses aren't straight.
• One can cure any illness with the right herbal tea, going to the doctor is completely superfluous.
• Post-partum exercise is unnecessary. My MIL can't explain why she is incontinent in old age after three births, there is no connection for her.
• Preparing a sponge cake can take 48 hours of 'hard work'.
• When her Internet service provider wanted to offer her an anti-virus program, she called us: "What am I supposed to do? I appear to have a fungal infection! Please help!

EDIT: As requested, a few additional antics from my MIL:

• She believes that children's clothes bought new or second-hand do not need to be washed before putting them on.
• Child safety seats are unnecessary. It is sufficient to let a child sit (unbuckled) on the lap of a car passenger. That is of course safe enough.
• She was sure that when I was breastfeeding my child, she could breastfeed it too (like a wet nurse). She then also told me that her breast milk had come in on the day in question. She was over 70 years old at the time.
• Sweets are 'good' for children, even for babies, because the "best" people would give their children sweets to eat.
• She believed that her daily diet of pudding, cakes and cookies was healthy because she liked it. Her dietary motto was: You should eat what makes you feel happy.
• Her fingernails have deep grooves. Grooves on the fingernails indicate a lack of vitamins, zinc and iron. According to her, she eats healthy.
• She was a hoarder. She bought most things at least three times because she never knew where she had put them. Her apartment was stuffed to the ceiling. According to her, clutter is cozy.
• You only need to wash your hands once a day, then they are and stay clean.
• She thought it was okay to cough in her newborn grandson's face during the pandemic because she knew (untested) that she didn't have corona.
• Since she never goes to the doctor, she has carried a severe smoker's cough for decades, which then developed into lung cancer.
• If she likes the packaging of a food (colorful pictures of grazing cows, flowers, beautiful models), she buys it. Her motto: If something looks nice, it can't be bad. It MUST be good.
• She NEVER cleans her apartment. Reason: She wasn't born a cleaner. (When you enter her apartment, you immediately start sneezing because of the enormous amount of dust everywhere).
• She thinks it is her right that her sons call her "darling" because she is a darling, since she gave birth to them.
• Her children have to entertain her because it is their duty to look after her. She doesn't find it strange that she never did this with her own mother.
• A little alcohol during pregnancy does no harm. It has never harmed anyone.
• If she takes photos of strangers at arm's length and they get upset, it's not her fault, people should just relax.
• When she goes to the toilet, she leaves the door open, even if other people within earshot want to enjoy their meal. "It's not that bad, it's natural and everyone does it."
• She advises anyone who has been the victim of an assault not to go to the police, because reporting it to the police "fundamentally changes the perpetrator's life". (This was the advice she gave to her granddaughter, who had been raped shortly before).

One more:
My MIL wanted to buy a new toaster oven. Since hers was still working perfectly, she probably thought to herself: "... then I'll have to break my current toaster, otherwise I won't be allowed to buy a new one!" She "accidentally" dropped a gas lighter into her toaster ... She now has a new toaster oven.

What have you always wanted for the business you run? Growth and success, right?' To realize your desired business goals, it's crucial to be open to trying out various expansion strategies and tactics. Similarly, the key to success lies in embracing a wide array of marketing tools that perfectly align your marketing strategies, be it through innovative online technology or time-tested offline advertising. Regardless of how effective marketing techniques are, you must understand that they may not always yield the expected outcomes for your brand. In such scenarios, thinking outside the box and embracing fun yet versatile tools like custom embroidered keychain patches could significantly help you.
Indeed, you read it right! And If you're intrigued by the idea of leveraging these tiny and versatile custom keychain patches as effective branding tools to increase your brand's visibility, keep reading, as you will learn their true significance in this blog.

Advantages of Custom-Embroidered Keychain Patches

Customization:

Logos and taglines, as you already know, are two of the most significant aspects in terms of effective visual representation and further explanation of a brand's identity and ultimate objective. Now, imagine the difference you may make in your attempts to leave a positive first impression by getting both of these elements onto tiny pieces together with the charm of embroidery.
Choosing colors and designs that reflect your business's personality and values is crucial when customizing these keychain custom embroidered patches.
For example, if you own a jewelry brand, you should use gold and silver colors and abstract patterns for custom keychain patches; however, if you lead a technological firm, blue and green colors, and triangular-shaped keychains would be great for branding.

The Versatile Medium To Increase Brand Visibility And Recognition

Keychain patches are small, lightweight, portable, and can be attached to a variety of items, from keys to backpacks. This means they travel with the recipients everywhere they go. That way, your brand's logo or message is constantly noticed by others, making them one of the most versatile methods to communicate your brand's values and identity to a wider audience.

Higher Retention Rate And Collectible Items

While their primary role is to keep keys in order, keychains also attract individuals who like to attach them to frequently used items. Thus, they have a greater retention rate compared to other promotional goods.
Additionally, there is a growing trend among people to collect beautiful custom keychains. This is especially true for a keychain with an embroidered logo and an interesting design, further increasing the chances of your brand being displayed and shared.

Emotional Connection

And don't think of embroidered keychain patches as just physical items! As they are part of people's daily lives, this frequent interaction creates a habitual connection over time. Hence, the act of offering keychains, whether it's with a cleverly embroidered logo or a catchy slogan, could serve as an effective way to evoke positive emotions about your brand's identity.
Once your target customers get emotionally connected, they are more likely to choose your brand over competitors, advocate for your brand, and engage in long-term relationships.

Benefits Of Including Custom Embroidered Keychain Patches in Your Branding Strategy?

Tactical Promotion

There are different ways to promote your brands and business using custom patches, but tactical promotions are the most significant aspects of embroidered keychains. The tactical nature of these patches adds a dynamic and engaging dimension to your brand marketing strategies. They serve as fascinating mediums that your potential customers can feel and see, providing a physical and sensory interaction that engages potential customers. This engagement helps leave a lasting impression, make your brand more memorable, and foster brand loyalty.

Target Marketing

Whether it's a particular age group, professionals, hobbyists, or a niche community, strategically customizing and distributing embroidered keychains is going to increase the likelihood of engagement and conversion among those you are trying to reach. The intriguing and distinctive nature of these tools sparks conversations, and when people who share similar interests begin talking about them, your brand gains organic exposure.
You can make these tiny mediums more effective by using the insights gathered from audience research and incorporating designs, colors, and other elements that perfectly match the interests and preferences of each segment. For example, Custom embroidered keychains in modern and sleek patterns with blue and green colors will be great if you're reaching out to tech-savvy individuals.

Cost-Effectiveness

In comparison to other branding tools such as mugs, bags, t-shirts, pens, and so on, the materials required for embroidered keychains, such as fabric and thread, are often economical. Advances in machine embroidery technology and techniques have made it possible to produce these items on a large scale with ease. As a result, the overall production costs are often low, and many renowned embroidered keychain patch vendors such as Cre8iveSkill offer substantial savings on keychain patches, especially for larger quantities.
Plus, these patches are often made of durable materials that can withstand daily use. This longevity ensures that your branding message remains visible for an extended period of time and offers more value for your investment than other short-lived giveaways without incurring additional costs.
Ways to Integrate Custom Embroidered Keychains in Your Marketing Strategy.

Trade Shows And Events

Trade shows and events often attract a lot of foot traffic and what could be better than leaving a lasting impression on visitors who stop by your booth by offering dazzling embroidered keychain patches displaying a logo, motto, or design that perfectly represents your brand? This tangible and useful giveaway can draw attention to your booth while also creating a positive connection with your brand.
You can also include an interactive element at the booth related to these items. For example, you can set up a customization station where visitors can choose from a variety of patterns, colors, and attachments to create their unique patches. This interactive experience allows visitors to connect with your brand on a deeper level and take home a keepsake that they will cherish.

The Power of Event Sponsorship and Swag Bags

Another way to get the most out of custom keychains is to sponsor or participate in events relevant to your industry. By carefully planning, creatively executing, and focusing on engaging attendees, you can make the most of these promotional items through exciting giveaways.
Gifting patches at such events is a great way to create memorable takeaways that attendees will continue to use long after the event. Every time they see or use the patch, your brand will be reinforced in their minds.

Customer Loyalty Programs

Regular and loyal customers are the lifeblood of any business, and rewarding them with captivating and unique freebies undoubtedly enhances their positive experiences and strengthens their connection with your brand. Embroidered keychains are a great way to reward devoted customers, and many well-known brands, such as Disney, Nike, Apple, and Airbnb, have already been using them in creative ways.
Similarly, In your quest to build customer loyalty and a stronger brand identity, you can infuse your customer loyalty program with creative ideas. For example, reward customers for hitting significant milestones, such as their first purchase, referring your products and services, writing product reviews, reaching a certain number of points, or completing a set number of transactions.

Wrapping Up

In the dynamic world of business growth, success hinges on embracing diverse strategies. Among these tactics, the role of custom-embroidered keychain patches emerges as a beacon of uniqueness and versatility. These intricately designed patches encapsulate your brand's essence, leaving an indelible mark on first impressions. With the power of portability, they become ubiquitous brand ambassadors, forging lasting connections and evoking positive emotions.
Now, if you are wondering, "Where can I get custom keychains made?", Cre8iveSkill is the answer. We combine speed and precision to deliver top-notch custom keychain patches tailored to your business needs. With an array of designs, colors, and materials, we craft cost-effective solutions without compromising quality.
Source: https://www.cre8iveskill.com/blog/embroidered-keychain-patches-a-powerful-way-to-promote-your-brand

You can read this post, and others here
**Boss: Richard J. Daley of Chicago.** By Mike Royko. 216 Pages.
**American Pharaoh: Mayor Richard J. Daley - His Battle for Chicago and the Nation.** By Adam Cohen and Elizabeth Taylor. 624 Pages.
Richard J. Daley was perhaps the most powerful local politician America has ever produced. The second most powerful politician in America after the president, he personally selected every Democratic candidate running in Illinois, from Governor to Alderman. In addition to the elected positions, Daley controlled forty thousand patronage jobs, from judgeships down to the ditch diggers; he personally selected who got those jobs. Beyond the borders of Chicago, Daley played kingmaker for the Democratic nomination for president; his ability to control the Illinois delegation made and broke presidential candidates.
What were Daley's goals? First and foremost, to amass and maintain his personal political power. When it came to ideology, he had a sort of flinty conservatism: he liked authority and hated protestors. He was a devout Catholic, going to mass every day. He regarded the newspapers and reporters as the enemy, always criticizing, always asking questions. He believed in racial segregation and that people should pull themselves up by their bootstraps. But good politics came before ideology with Daley; his concern was always what would be best for him and the machine. Daley did not like John F. Kennedy's liberalism, but he did like that an Irish Catholic presidential candidate would turn out the machine base on election day. And so he backed him for president.
Daley was not an articulate man, known for malapropisms such as "The policeman isn’t there to create disorder; the policeman is there to preserve disorder." and “Today the real problem is the future.”. When questioned by reporters or opponents he was known to fly into fits of rage, and rant at them:

If provoked, he’ll break into a rambling, ranting speech, waving his arms, shaking his fists, defending his judgment, defending his administration, always with the familiar “It is easy to criticize . . . to find fault . . . but where are your programs . . . where are your ideas . . .”

Arrogant and ruthless, he always got what he wanted - and if he didn't, he would make sure you would never hold an office or job in Chicago again. And yet for all his flaws, Daley saved Chicago from going the way of other declining rust belt cities, like Detroit or St. Louis. Historians have ranked him amongst the greatest American mayors of all time.
This is the story of the last of the big machine bosses.
*American Pharaoh* is a 600 page tome on the life and times of Richard J. Daley. It's impressively researched, but a bit dry at times. The book takes it's title from the African-American nickname for Daley: "Pharaoh". To them he was an oppressor, demanding much of his subjects but offering little in return.
*Boss* is the much more fun read, written by Chicago Tribune humorist Mike Royko. While it is not as impressively researched, I like the style it is written in more, peppered with observations such as:

Daley didn’t come from a big family but he married into one, and so Eleanor Guilfoyle’s parents might well have said that they did not lose a daughter, they gained an employment agency. Mrs. Daley’s nephew has been in several key jobs. Her sister’s husband became a police captain. A brother is an engineer in the school system. Stories about the number of Guilfoyles, and cousins and in-laws of Guilfoyles, in the patronage army have taken on legendary tones.

A City of Neighborhoods

Early 20th century Chicago was a “City of Neighborhoods”, each with its own ethnic group: Germans on the North Side, Irish on the South Side, and Jews on the West Side. People kept to their own kind, and outsiders entered other neighborhoods at their peril.
Richard Joseph Daley was born in the Irish neighborhood of Bridgeport in 1902. Bridgeport was Chicago’s original slum, a grim place even by the standards of early Chicago. Irish laborers settled it in the early 1830s, digging the Illinois & Michigan Canal. After the canal was finished, the neighborhood turned to animal slaughter. By the time Daley was born, the Irish were prospering and no longer treated with the discrimination their parents and grandparents encountered upon arriving in America. But Daley was raised with stories of the famine and discrimination, and that would be his common refrain when civil rights groups asked him for change: “The Irish were discriminated against, and we pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps. Why can’t the Blacks do the same?“.
Daley spent his free time at the clubhouse of the Hamburg Athletic Club, which was part social club, part intramural sports team, and part street gang. Youths in the Hamburg Athletic Club policed the borders of the neighborhood, ensuring no outsiders entered, especially African-Americans living in the encroaching ghetto east of Wentworth Avenue. Poet Langston Hughes made the mistake of crossing the invisible boundary his first weekend in Chicago and was beaten by an unknown Irish street gang.
The Hamburg Athletic Club became infamous for its role in instigating the 1919 Chicago race riot. Started when an African-American swimmer drifted into the white beach area, the riot lasted for a week and killed 38 people. Later, gangs such as the Hamburg Athletic Club were found to have spent the entire summer trying to start a riot and actively attacked black neighborhoods when clashes started. Daley was always shifty about his memories of the riots, refusing to say if he participated or not. This was political calculation; Daley needed both white and black votes, and saying nothing allowed them both to believe he was on their side in 1919. But it should be noted that the youths of the club thought highly enough of Daley that they elected him their president at the age of 22, a position he retained for fifteen years.

A House for All Peoples

The Hamburg Athletic Club was also Daley's introduction to politics. Chicago's athletic clubs were sponsored by local ward bosses, and members often served as political workers, getting out the vote in campaign season. The 11th Ward Alderman and Ward Committeeman, Joseph (“Big Joe”) McDonough took an interest in Daley, and made him his personal assistant in the 11th Ward Organization. Daley had been inducted into Machine politics.
The Chicago Machine - formally known as the Cook County Democratic Organization - dominated Chicago politics. While ultimate authority rested with the County Chairman, it was the Ward bosses (Committeemen) who did the day-to-day work of slating candidates for office, distributing patronage and dispensing favors. Daley was one of three thousand precinct captains spread out over Chicago's fifty wards. Precinct captains were responsible for forming personal relationships with four to five hundred voters, and were expected to predict vote totals within ten votes. Ward bosses and captains who failed to deliver on election day were "vised" and replaced with someone who would do better.
The Machine ethic could be summarized in ten rules, according to one academic:

1. Be faithful to those above you in the hierarchy, and repay those who are faithful to you.

1. Back the whole machine slate, not individual candidates or programs.
   
2. Be respectful of elected officials and party leaders.
   
3. Never be ashamed of the party, and defend it proudly.
   
4. Don’t ask questions.
   
5. Stay on your own turf, and keep out of conflicts that don’t concern you.
   
6. Never be first, since innovation brings with it risk.
   
7. Don’t get caught.
   
8. Don't repeat what you see and hear, or someone might get indicted.
   
9. Deliver the votes, or we will find someone who will.
   

The political machine that Daley would one day inherit was an invention of Czech leader Anton Cermak. Cermak had wrested control of the machine from the Irish by uniting the various immigrant groups in Chicago under one issue: Prohibition. Protestant native-born Americans tended to favor Prohibition, and immigrants saw the attacks on alcohol as an attack on them. The Irish initially resented this Bohemian upstart, but by creating the pan-ethnic ticket, he had strengthened the machine enough to take on the current mayor, Republican William "Big Bill" Thompson. Cermak won the mayorship, but for only a short time: in 1933 he was slain by a bullet meant for FDR while vacationing in Florida.
Daley's patron, Alderman McDonough, had been slated for County Treasurer by Cermak, who brought Daley along as his deputy. McDonough was not a man given to hard work or details, and he left the job to his deputy. However, Daley was not satisfied with running the Treasury and wanted to move up in the world. The trouble was, all of the slots Daley could conceivably move into were taken. Worse, McDonough's power had waned with the assassination of Cermak. The Irish had reasserted their dominance, and the former allies of Cermak were being pushed out. Patrick Nash took over the machine and slated Edward Kelly as mayor.
McDonough unexpectedly died in 1934. While having your political patron die was usually a death knell for your career, Daley was known as a bright star in the machine. He quickly allied with the Kelly-Nash faction and stayed in his role as deputy County Treasurer, but was not slated for 11th ward boss, much to his disappointment. However, Daley's lucky streak continued - politicians continued to die at a young age, and one of the three state representatives for Bridgeport died. This man was a republican, elected as part of a deal to send two Democrats and one Republican to Springfield. The Republicans attempted to select their own man, but the Democratic-controlled state election board ruled it was too late to reprint the ballots. The machine organized a write-in campaign for Daley, who was duly elected as state representative. Daley had won his first office, but as a Republican.

Springfield

The Springfield that Daley arrived at in 1936 was corrupt, even by the standards of early 20th century America. Most legislators were there for "girls, games, and graft". The most common kind of bill was a "fetcher" bill, a bill designed to harm the many special interests that sent lobbyists to Springfield. Lobbyists came over with envelopes of cash, and the bill was quietly dropped. If directly taking money from lobbyists was too much for a legislator, lobbyists hosted card games guaranteeing winnings of up to one thousand dollars. Daley personally was never on the take, never drank, and never cheated on his wife. He instead holed up in his hotel room with draft bills and budget documents.
Even if he wasn't corrupt, Daley was a machine man, and considered his primary job to do the bidding of his masters in Chicago. However, he was also a surprisingly progressive force: he attempted to create income and corporate taxes to replace the regressive sales tax, introduced bills to strengthen tenant protections, and was an early supporter of the school lunch program. His greatest accomplishment in Springfield was creating the Chicago Transit Authority out of the ashes of the bankrupt transit companies. Of course, many of the bills were designed to promote the machine's interests:

One Daley tax reform, which he tried to pass four times, would have allowed Cook County residents to appeal their tax bills directly to the county assessor, rather than proceed through the court system. It might have made appeals simpler for taxpayers, but its greatest beneficiary would have been the ward committeemen and aldermen who could then use their ties to the highly political county assessor’s office to reduce the taxes of their friends and supporters. Daley was also doing the machine’s bidding when he crusaded to revise the state’s divorce laws to make the state’s attorney part of every divorce. The change would have given the state’s attorney’s office a five-dollar fee for every divorce action filed in Cook County, generating revenue and work for an office that was usually filled by the machine and that employed an army of Democratic patronage workers.

Daley acquired a reputation as an expert in budgetary matters and was promoted to State Senator, then elected the youngest Senate Minority Leader in Illinois history. In the Chicago tradition of double-dipping, he was given the job of Cook County Comptroller. In addition to giving Daley another salary, this was a particularly sensitive post since he could see the books of the entire county. Daley knew which contractors were favored, which contracts that were "lowest bid" were secretly loaded with extras, and who was given what job. A person who drove a politician around might be employed as an engineer for the Highway Department. Anyone who could read the figures knew where the bodies were buried.
After a decade in Springfield, Daley was ready to return to Chicago. At the same time, MayoBoss Edward Kelly was in trouble. He had proved too corrupt even for Chicago, and voters were ready to throw the machine out. Worse for his political prospects was his support for racial integration. Kelly needed a slate of candidates who seemed reform-minded but could be counted on to advance the machine's interests in office. Daley seemed the perfect choice: he had a reputation for honesty and hard work, but completely loyal to to the machine. Kelly slated him for Cook County Sheriff.
If the office of sheriff was good for the machine, it was hard to see it as good for Daley. The sheriff's office was the most corrupt of offices, and considered a career-ender. The Sheriff's office patrolled unincorporated Cook County, and was empowered to enter Chicago and the suburbs if the municipal police weren't doing their jobs. In reality, they spent most of their time shaking down motorists, suburban bars, and brothels. A journalist remarked that if a Sheriff hadn't cleared $1 million ($18.5 million in 2024 dollars) in his four years in office, he wasn't trying. Few left without being the subject of scandal, and most simply tried to clear as much money as possible before ignominious retirement. Daley's mother remarked "I didn’t raise my son to be a policeman”.
Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately) for Daley, the 1946 elections were a disaster for Democrats. President Truman's approval ratings had slid to 32% amid high inflation and shortages. The Democrats were trounced in the elections, and Daley lost to his Republican opponent. The loss wasn't held against him because the entire slate had been defeated. Daley never had to tempt his ethics.

Boss

Daley also had his eyes on the 11th Ward Committeeman position. After McDonough passed, the 11th Ward Alderman and Committeeman seats passed to Daley's new patron, Hugh “Babe” Connelly. However, Connelly's health was failing, and he lost his alderman seat to a Republican in the 1946 disaster. Daley convened a meeting that Connelly was too ill to attend and struck a deal with the Poles moving into Bridgeport. They would support Daley for Ward Boss, and he would support a Pole for the aldermanic seat.
Daley now had a seat in the Cook County Democratic Central Committee, the politburo of the machine. The Central Committee is a collection of all the committeemen from the Chicago wards and Cook County suburbs. However, it is not a committee of equals; each member votes in accordance with how strong the Democratic vote was in the last election in their ward. Daley, coming from the heavily Democratic 11th ward, was one of the most powerful members on the committee.
Meanwhile, Kelley had resigned as party boss, but Irish factions in the machine were divided on who to replace him with. They settled on Jacob Arvey, committeeman from the Jewish 24th Ward. Arvey was an ideal caretaker because the Jewish vote was relatively powerless, and he would not be able to seize control of the machine. He, however made some clever slating decisions and over-performed expectations. His first decision was to slate Martin Kennelly, a reform-minded Democrat, for mayor. While there was a risk in slating a reformer for a city-wide office, where they might actually do something, it was better to have a Democrat they could remove than a Republican they couldn't. More importantly, he was opposed to racial integration. Arvey next slated Adlai Stevenson for governor and Paul Douglas for US Senator, other great reformers. Having reformers at the top of the ticket boosted down-ballot races, but at the same time these offices controlled less patronage and could not do much damage to the machine. The strategy worked brilliantly, and Arvey was kept on as caretaker. However, Arvey's luck ran out when he slated police Captain Daniel “Tubbo” Gilbert for Sheriff. Gilbert had claimed to a Senate crime committee that he had accumulated a fortune of $360,000 ($4.6 million in 2024 dollars) by being a successful gambler, and when asked if his gambling was legal, replied “Well, no. No, it is not legal.”. The testimony was leaked to the *Chicago Sun-Times* days before the election, and headlines proclaimed the "World's Richest Cop". The Democratic ticket went down in flames, and Arvey was blamed:

Chairman Arvey, hailed as the genius who saved the Machine by slating Kennelly, Douglas, and Stevenson, was now the idiot who slated Tubbo Gilbert. In the silence of the Morrison Hotel headquarters, Arvey waited for somebody, anybody, to tell him it was just one of those bad breaks and not to worry about it. Arvey, knowing he was being blamed, was hoping for a vote of confidence. Nobody offered it, so he finally said, “I think I’m going to resign.” Then he went to California to take a vacation and wait for somebody to call and ask him to change his mind—Joe Gill, Al Horan, Daley. Nobody called, so that was it; he was out.

Daley headed up the Arvey faction now, but when the votes were tallied, neither he nor his rival, 14th Ward Committeeman Clarence Wagner, had enough votes to secure the chairmanship. The two factions were less divided by policy than personality: Daley's faction was the richer Irish, referred to as the "lace-curtain" Irish and resented by Wagner's faction for looking down at their less-successful brethren. The two sides settled on Joseph Gill as interim chairman until 1952. Both sides regarded him as neutral, and as the oldest member of the committee, unlikely to stay on long. 1952 came to pass, and Daley had accumulated barely enough in patronage and votes to take the chairmanship. Hover, Wagner was not ready to concede, and proposed the committee break for two weeks to stall for time and consolidate his position. Wagner took a group of influential politicians up to Canada on a fishing trip, where he died in an automobile accident. Even for a career built on well-timed deaths, no death in Daley's life had been more convenient than this. He had the chairmanship; The next step was the mayorship.

Kennelly

Kennelly was shaping up to be a mediocre mayor, content mostly to attend ceremonial functions and do little else. Unfortunately for the machine, the one issue he took on with gusto was civil service reform. While Chicago, in theory, had civil service protections, the machine had ways of getting around it. Exams were held so infrequently or made so difficult that nobody was available to be hired the honest way. The city could then hire political flunkies as "temporary" employees, many of whom spent their entire careers as temporary hires. Kennelly started running exams again and consolidated titles so that they fell under civil service protection. The ward bosses lost 12,000 jobs over Kennelly's mayorship and were ready to remove him.
Kennelly also went too far on the race issue. While he was slated because he was against integration, a careful balance needed to be struck. One of the innovations of the Kelley-Nash machine was to bring in the black vote. African-Americans had traditionally voted Republican, the party of emancipation, but this changed with the advent of the depression and FDR's New Deal. Kelley eagerly took up federal funding the New Deal, and distributed patronage and welfare to a black sub-machine controlled by Congressman William Levi Dawson.
Like most politicians, Dawson's main concern was his own political power and was a loyal machine man. He opposed integration because spreading out the black vote would dilute his power, and the machine was against it. In exchange, he promoted welfare politics for his constituents. While he didn't get as much patronage as white politicians, he got his share of jobs and favors and was an influential power player in Cook County.

during the 1960 presidential campaign, Dawson served on the civil rights issues committee of John F. Kennedy’s presidential campaign — known as the Civil Rights Section. The first thing Dawson tried to do was get the name changed. “Let’s not use words that offend our good Southern friends, like ‘civil rights,’” he told the group’s first meeting. His office in the campaign headquarters was quickly dubbed “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” Dawson’s primary loyalty was to his political organization, not his race — and when the two were in conflict, the Democratic machine always won. “You would not expect Willie Mays to drop the ball just because Jackie Robinson hit it,” Dawson liked to say.

Dawson's ability to deliver 70 percent of the vote in his three wards was critical to the machine's lopsided victories. Kennelly, however, had forgotten who had elected him and began a moralistic crusade against two black institutions: "policy wheels" and "jitney cabs". "Policy" was a popular gambling game, similar to the modern day lottery. Thousands of policy stations were spread throughout the South Side. While technically illegal, Dawson personally selected the police officers who served in his fief and ensured they did not prosecute the policy wheels. When the Chicago Outfit attempted to bribe a police captain into letting them muscle in on the action, Dawson had him replaced.
"Jitney Cabs" was the Chicago term for unlicensed taxis that operated in the South Side Black Belt. Licensed taxis were exclusively controlled by white operators and only traveled to white neighborhoods. Jitney cabs were a lifeline for the African-American community, which was not served by public transportation. Dawson was therefore shocked when police officers from downtown started arresting policy wheel operators and jitney drivers. Dawson was traditionally given a free hand to determine what illegal activities were allowed in his neighborhoods. Many blacks saw it as thinly-veiled attempt to let the white Outfit profit from their communities. And Kennelly wasn't improving welfare or leaning on slumlords to clean up their properties; - just attacking the things they liked and needed.
Dawson went to Kennelly, and explained the situation. Kennelly, however refused to do anything, and insulted Dawson at the same time. Dawson didn't ask again, and instead plotted his revenge. When it came time to re-slate Kennelly, Dawson made a surprise appearance from Washington and dressed Kennelly down:

“Who do you think you are? I bring in the votes. I elect you. You are not needed, but the votes are needed. I deliver the votes to you, but you won’t talk to me?”

After the tirade and Kennelly was thoroughly chastised, the party admitted that Kennelly's civil service reforms made him too popular; the machine would be forced to run him again. But he would not get another term after this one. This deal was made in the backrooms of the Central Committee, and Kennelly was unaware such a deal had taken place. Daley began quietly building a case for him to take over as mayor and freezing out Mayor Kennelly from the organization. Daley stopped inviting Kennelly to party functions or asking his opinion about slating decisions. Kennelly, however failed to get the message and was shocked when he was not re-slated in 1954. The slating committee instead picked Daley, who pretended to be surprised. The official line was that Daley had been drafted, not seeking the office.

The Primary

Despite not getting the Democratic endorsement, Kennelly was not going to let go of city hall without a fight. He entered the primary determined to win a third term in office, showing a fire he had never exhibited as mayor. Kennelly fired all of the ward leaders who had voted against him from their patronage positions, and also vowed to fire any city employee who campaigned against him. He received the backing of Chicago's business community, who made sizable campaign contributions. Most importantly, he was more popular than Daley, who looked exactly the image of a corrupt machine boss. Complicating the primary further was the entrance of Daley's future arch-nemesis, Benjamin Adamowski, into the primary on a anti-machine platform. Adamowski hoped Kennelly would drop out of the race, and that his reform credentials, combined with the Polish vote, would put him over.
But Daley had the machine on his side. When the candidates applied for the ballot, Daley showed exactly the kind of dirty tricks the machine afforded him. In Chicago, candidates are listed on the ballot in the order they apply. Since voters often pulled the lever on the first recognizable name, having top billing was a coveted position in Chicago elections. Kennelly arrived early, hoping to be first when the city clerk’s office opened at 8:30 a.m. However, Daley’s man entered through a side door early and got his petition stamped first. Daley would be first on the ballot.
Daley may not have had the business establishment backing him, but he had his source of campaign funds. Patronage workers were required to kick back 2% of their salary back to the ward organization, and attend $25-a-plate fundraisers. In addition, contractors who did business with the city and county kicked back money to the machine, knowing that Daley losing would mean the end of their contracts. Organized crime also backed the machine: an anonymous man appeared on TV to say that 10% of the city's gambling revenue went to politicians. Come election day, there would be plenty of "walk-around" money.
Daley spent very little time directly appealing to voters or taking stands on important issues. Instead, he practiced good old-fashioned machine politics. Daley spent most of his time firing up his precinct captains, trusting them to deliver the votes on election day. He made sure to develop a relationship with as many of them as possible, talking with the men about the White Sox, and the women about their children. The precinct workers in turn, devoted themselves to Daley, knowing their jobs were on the line. Kennelly, in contrast, thought politics was about taking the right stands on the issues. If voters were simply told about his principles, they would naturally support him. “Television is our precinct captain” was Kennelly's motto, which Daley dismissed. “Can you ask your television set for a favor?” he said.
Kennelly also tried to make the campaign about bossism and corruption. Daley, in response, promised to resign his position as chairman if elected and responded with a theme he would use throughout his career: populism. He insisted the divisions were not between the machine and reformers but between business elites and working class people. “What we must do is have a city not for State Street, not for LaSalle Street, but a city for all Chicago,” Daley told his backers, and defended the party proudly:

“The party permits ordinary people to get ahead. Without the party, I couldn’t be mayor. The rich guys can get elected on their money, but somebody like me, an ordinary person, needs the party. Without the party, only the rich would be elected to office.”

On race, Daley played both sides. He cultivated Dawson as an ally, and made sure to defend him in front of black audiences. Kennelly attacked Dawson, calling him a political boss: “I can understand why Dawson passed the word that he couldn’t stand for Kennelly. I haven’t been interested in building up his power. Without power to dispense privilege, protection and patronage to preferred people, bossism has no stock in trade.” Daley, at the same time, made sure to insinuate upon white audiences that he did not support integration, though he made every effort to dodge a direct question about the issue.
As the primary approached, it seemed that Kennelly had an insurmountable lead: polling indicated the population preferred him 2:1. These of course, were not reliable voters. Kennelly figured that the machine could turn out 400,000 votes in the primary, so if turnout was more than 900,000, he would comfortably win. In the end, turnout was only 750,000 and Daley carried the day with 49% of the vote. Adamowski had split the anti-machine vote as well. When looking at the ward totals however, it became clear how the machine had delivered Daley's victory. In most wards, Kennelly and Daley ran neck-and-neck, but in the "Automatic Eleven" wards, the machine's base, Daley had won by Assad-level margins.
While Daley had won the primary, he had not won the mayorship yet. The Republicans had decided to nominate a reform Democrat, Robert Merriam, to run for them, and he promised to be a challenging opponent. Merriam represented the liberal 5th ward and had made a name for himself as a crime fighter by broadcasting actual cases of corruption and crime on his TV show, *Spotlight on Chicago*. Many Republicans were not enthusiastic about nominating a Democrat as their candidate. The leading national conservative paper, the *Chicago Tribune* called him a RINO. But Republican Governor William Stratton wanted to breathe life into the Chicago Republican Party, and a fusion ticket between independent Democrats and Republicans was the best promise of that.
The issues ended up being a repeat of the primary, with Daley sticking to platitudes, promising to hire more policemen and to do more for the neighborhoods, though he was vague about exactly what he would do. Merriam attacked Daley for his ties to the machine and promised to continue the civil service reforms Kennelly had started. Daley hit back, mocking Merriam for not being a loyal member of either party. Daley, once again, adopted a populist tone, making the campaign between blue-collar workers and blue-bloods on the lakefront. Merriam, he said, was not a man of the people, unlike Daley, who continued to live in a Bridgeport bungalow with his seven children. Daley promised to put union members on city boards in transit, schools, parks, and health and racked up plenty of union endorsements.

How to Win an Election, Chicago Style

Merriam was concerned that Daley would try to steal the election, or at the very least, inflate his vote totals. This was completely justified. The machine had a number of tactics to steal votes. It began on registration day. Not only would precinct captains make every effort to register voters in their neighborhoods (preferably as Democrats), they would go to flophouses, scan the guest list, and register everyone on it. Since they were transients unlikely to vote, the precinct captains could safely vote for them. The *Chicago Tribune*, in a 1972 exposé, would create fake voters in the guest lists and watch precinct captains put guests such as "James Joyce" or "Elmer Fudd" on the voter rolls. In addition to flophouse voters, there were ghost voters. Merriam sent 30,000 letters to registered voters in machine strongholds. 3,000 came back as unclaimed, moved, or dead. Merriam claimed that the machine may have as many as 100,000 ghost voters on the voter rolls. The *Tribune* would later confirm that the machine was indeed voting for ghost voters. Merriam also sent a spy into a west side polling place and caught on camera "Short Pencil" Louie erasing Kennelly votes and replacing them with Daley votes.
The machine had other tactics, such as "four-legged voting," where the precinct captain would go into the booth with the voter and ensure they pulled the lever for the Democratic ticket. While it served well to ensure voters with a poor command of English voted correctly, it also ensured voters who had been bribed with cash or alcohol kept up their end of the bargain. And when regular voters weren't available, the machine simply stuffed the ballot box, with precinct captains and election judges alike pulling the lever multiple times. Later investigations would show that there were more votes in some precincts than voters who requested ballots.
According to state law, Republican and Democratic election judges were supposed to be at all polling places to blow the whistle on these sort of tactics. However, the machine had its way of co-opting them. Often ward bosses selected both the Democratic and Republican judges, who were often machine workers who had switched parties. When legitimate Republicans tried to register, the city mysteriously "lost" their applications. If a real Republican did somehow become a judge, they were intimidated into silence. Gangsters would arrive and threaten them if they didn't leave the polling site. Another judge was arrested when he asked to see the voting records, and released at the end of the day without charges. Another had their dog poisoned. If, on the other hand they looked the other way, they would be treated to breakfast, lunch, and dinner by the precinct captain, along with something extra beyond the $25 they nominally received for judging.
Beyond cheating, the machine had other tactics to convince voters to vote the way they wanted. Before the primary, voters in the Automatic Eleven received a dollar bill in the mail, accompanied by the message, "This is your lucky day. Stay lucky with Daley.”. Voters in public housing and on welfare were told that they would lose their benefits if they didn't vote for the machine. The machine would appeal to racial prejudices by circulating a fake letter in white neighborhoods saying Merriam's wife was black (she was not). In Catholic neighborhoods, campaigners never tired of reminding voters that Merriam was divorced and raising two children that were not his own.
Like the primary, Merriam staked his victory on voter turnout. The machine was thought to control 600,000 votes in the general election, and so Merriam needed 1.2 million votes to overcome Daley's lead. Daley won 708,000 votes on a turnout of 1.3 million, 55% of the vote. Again, the Automatic Eleven had proved critical, especially the African-American wards. In the 1st ward, dominated by the Chicago Outfit, Daley won by 90%. Daley was now mayor, and he would rule the city with an iron fist for the rest of his life.

If this translation is correct, then i can tell you how Kiyora is gonna play and impact the game
I have done Breakdance from 2019 to 2022 and i can tell why and how the qualities you achieve in breaking actually translate into soccet since i have also done that.
Breaking is highly physical and requires mist of alle a tremendously strong core and body balance, but also a high degree of coordination and execution.
Knowing that my guess to kiyoras playstyle is that he is a highly technical dribbler. Why is that? Well lets look at how breakdance is structured.
Breakdance is structured in 4 sectors: Toprock, Footwork, Powermoves and Freezes. Toprock is your ability to dance while standing up and on your feet, but much more than that its a way to introduce your Style of dance, Footwork is everything done at ground level meaning thing like the famius 6 step. This is one of the things that requires a intense amount of coordination in you body and legs and need a lot repition to get it memorised into muscle memory. Powermoves are the thing vreaking is most known for, basically alk the spinning you see wether on your head or on your back etc. Thos are powermoves. These Require clean techinique and a strong core/good overall body weight strength to pull off and freezes are those poses where the breaker stands still in that pose for a moment. These require tremendous core strength and balance but are very beautiful to witness if dine correctly.
Now all that athleticism, coordination and technicality required in breaking will directly translate into soccer. Especially in the dribbling. Kiyora will most likely be ambidextrous aswell but most of all he'll be technical. But his strength will be different to anyone else.
His strength is stealing the spotlight. Why is that? In breakdance competitions the focus in 1v1 battles is stealing the show and showing the judges that you're better than you opponent, so i think that will be his strength and with his athleticism, i won't ve surprised if he does

On Bessatsu Shounen Magazine issue 07/2021, there's an interview between Isayama and the author of Fullmetal Alchemist, Hiromu Arakawa. There he says:
"When drawing SNK, I was hoping for Armin to come up with some solutions to stop the war, but I couldn't make it. Maybe I should have added more pages for the ending part."
I understand it as the author saying he wanted to find a way for Armin to stop the Rumbling. If the Alliance had found a way to legitimately stop Eren, I think it would have given us a more satisfying conclusion, with Eren's character being more consistent with his "I will keep moving forward" motto.
The thing is, after the author gave Eren basically full knowledge of the future, after he comes in contact with Ymir in the Paths, and the vast powers of the FT which enable him to defend himself and shape the world in almost any way he wants, this makes it almost impossible to defeat Eren, even in theory.
They say it's a good thing to have a villain more powerful than the heroes, exactly to raise the stakes and make the heroes triumph more heroic, but even in these situations there has to be a limit, or a specific clever way for the heroes to defeat the powerful villain. Not just in AoT, but in any story where a character knows everything that will happen in the future, it's quite hard to even imagine a situation where that character will be caught by surprise (impossible?) or do something he doesn't want to do.
Theoretically, even a character that isn't extremely powerful can "win" in any scenario, if it knows everything about the future, because we assume that such a future will already be one where things will go the way the character that knows the future wants them to go, otherwise, he would not have gone along with them.
In stories where the past can be changed, this is easier to imagine/see. Instead of an immutable future that is destined to go the way "The Prescient" wants it to go (if he has the power to influence it), in stories where the past can be changed we see they change the outcome, which will lead to a new outcome they don't know yet. After they change it and see it's consequences, they can try to change it again, and they can keep doing so until they arrive at one where they are satisfied. This type of scenario can create lots of problems, and I don't particularly find it clever writing, but at least it's easy to understand.
The real challenge is indeed how to defeat an enemy that knows the whole future in a fixed timeline. I believe that it should be impossible to defeat Eren in this condition, who both knows the whole future and has almost unlimited power to act on it. Paul Atreides, in Dune, is a similar example, but Paul's prescience isn't perfect and he lacks the power to make the best use of his knowledge of the future. Paul ends up defeated/failure both because he lacked full knowledge of the future, there were only so many "moves ahead" he could see/calculate, but he also lacked the power to influence the future he saw. If Paul could indeed see/calculate every single possible alternative, every possible future for the whole universe, we assume he would pick the one that he likes the most.
So, does anyone have any idea on how such a feat could be done?

On Bessatsu Shounen Magazine issue 07/2021, there's an interview between Isayama and the author of Fullmetal Alchemist, Hiromu Arakawa. There he says:
"When drawing SNK, I was hoping for Armin to come up with some solutions to stop the war, but I couldn't make it. Maybe I should have added more pages for the ending part."
I understand it as the author saying he wanted to find a way for Armin to stop the Rumbling. If the Alliance had found a way to legitimately stop Eren, I think it would have given us a more satisfying conclusion, with Eren's character being more consistent with his "I will keep moving forward" motto.
The thing is, after the author gave Eren basically full knowledge of the future, after he comes in contact with Ymir in the Paths, and the vast powers of the FT which enable him to defend himself and shape the world in almost any way he wants, this makes it almost impossible to defeat Eren, even in theory.
They say it's a good thing to have a villain more powerful than the heroes, exactly to raise the stakes and make the heroes triumph more heroic, but even in these situations there has to be a limit, or a specific clever way for the heroes to defeat the powerful villain. Not just in AoT, but in any story where a character knows everything that will happen in the future, it's quite hard to even imagine a situation where that character will be caught by surprise (impossible?) or do something he doesn't want to do.
Theoretically, even a character that isn't extremely powerful can "win" in any scenario, if it knows everything about the future, because we assume that such a future will already be one where things will go the way the character that knows the future wants them to go, otherwise, he would not have gone along with them.
In stories where the past can be changed, this is easier to imagine/see. Instead of an immutable future that is destined to go the way "The Prescient" wants it to go (if he has the power to influence it), in stories where the past can be changed we see they change the outcome, which will lead to a new outcome they don't know yet. After they change it and see it's consequences, they can try to change it again, and they can keep doing so until they arrive at one where they are satisfied. This type of scenario can create lots of problems, and I don't particularly find it clever writing, but at least it's easy to understand.
The real challenge is indeed how to defeat an enemy that knows the whole future in a fixed timeline. I believe that it should be impossible to defeat Eren in this condition, who both knows the whole future and has almost unlimited power to act on it. Paul Atreides, in Dune, is a similar example, but Paul's prescience isn't perfect and he lacks the power to make the best use of his knowledge of the future. Paul ends up defeated/failure both because he lacked full knowledge of the future, there were only so many "moves ahead" he could see/calculate, but he also lacked the power to influence the future he saw. If Paul could indeed see/calculate every single possible alternative, every possible future for the whole universe, we assume he would pick the one that he likes the most.
So, does anyone have any idea on how such a feat could be done?

They say that things change when you observe them. For example, my mom would look so proud at my childhood soccer games, but she’d immediately change the moment she noticed me on the substitute bench. A moment of observation, intended or not, can change everything.
One summer, my parents drove me out to a nearby national park. They had a Junior Ranger Club where kids were introduced to all manner of wildlife knowledge and survival trivia. I wasn’t sure about it at first. It seemed like just another thing on a long list of nothings.
But I gave it an honest shot. Along with a dozen other kids, and the chemically positive ranger accompanying us, we had craft sessions, survival training, cave exploration, and all kinds of games. Unlike sports, it wasn’t just about beating an opponent. This was about cooperation; to work together. Seeing us all work towards a common goal changed something in me. Brought out something good.
I enjoyed that.

Back in July of ’98, all twelve Junior Rangers set out on a spotlight night walk. Along with our guide, we were to pack our own survival kit and make our way to one of the ranger stations. There we’d unpack and be graded based on what we’d chosen to bring. There was this excitement in the air; it was like a graduation of sorts. We were to become official “wildlife stewards”, they called it. We excitedly paired up in a buddy system, two-by-two, and followed the trail.
It was supposed to be uneventful. The man in charge, Ranger Dan, had done that walk every summer for the past 12 years. He was prepared for a lot of things, but nature had other plans that night.
I remember him holding up a hand, silently asking us to stop and listen. There was this deep groaning noise off somewhere in the dark. I heard rustling bushes and crackling saplings. I saw two gleaming stones, reflecting the shine of our flashlights.
A black bear.

Looking back at it, it really wasn’t as bad as it sounds. The bear sniffed at Ranger Dan for a bit and wandered off, but to a group of 10-year-olds it was like staring at death itself. My buddy panicked, and bolted into the woods. We’re not allowed to ever leave our buddy, so I did my best to keep up with him. I yelled at him to stop, but by the time he did, we’d been separated from the rest of the group. I couldn’t even see their flashlights anymore.
Luckily, they used to have a system in place to help lost visitors navigate. They called it the “Lady Bluebell” system. All over the park, they’d wrap blue tape around the trees and tie a bell in the direction of the closest ranger station or trail. Even in the dark, you could hear a bell go off every now and then, and you could check the bell to get a direction. Spotting that blue tape immediately improved our odds of survival. We’d been taught that if all else fails, all we had to do was to follow three simple rules.
Stop, Listen, Look. Lady Bluebell takes you home. Those were the rules.
That first moment when I realized we were lost was horrifying. I could barely breathe, like I was choking on the darkness. My buddy was having a panic attack. But I did what I’d been told to do; to stop, listen, look. Lady Bluebell would take me home.

And I swear, not only did I hear that bell – I saw her.
A tall woman in a blue dress, off in the distance. A sun-tanned arm pointing us in the direction of the trail. Long dark hair framing a brilliant smile. A warm presence in the dark of night.
Maybe I remember it wrong. Maybe she wasn’t really there.
But I think she was.

My buddy and I were probably lost for no more than 20 minutes. We made our way back to the trail. Not long after that, we spotted flashlights in the distance. The rest of the night was nothing but praise from Ranger Dan, all the hot dogs we could eat, and scary stories told by a roaring campfire.
I never told anyone about seeing Lady Bluebell. Not a living soul.
My mom thought that night would be the end of my interest in the Junior Ranger Club. That it’d scare me away. But strangely, it had the opposite effect. I had used what I’d learned to survive; to win. And this wasn’t just winning a game, this was winning at life itself. I’d faced real, actual danger; and lived to tell the tale.
That’s when I knew I wanted to be a park ranger.

I got my Bachelor of Science in forest and natural resource management from MSU, worked a few different jobs, took a sabbatical, and ended up with a position at the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources in 2009. Nowadays I’m the one running the Junior Ranger Club. Ranger Dan retired back in 2018, but still volunteers for the club in the summer.
I’ve acquainted myself with the area for over a decade, I’m confident when I say that I know my way around. I know what animals roam which areas, and I can tell by the shifting seasons what is to come. I know how flash floods smell, and I can tell by the taste of the air when a lightning storm is coming. Still, every now and then, mother nature surprises me. And sometimes, she gives way to something different entirely.

The park has changed a lot too. The Lady Bluebell program, for example. Over the years it evolved into a sort of mascot. She was portrayed as this radiant woman in a blue summer dress. She also had her sidekicks, like the mischievous Ricky Raccoon and the ever-somber Sunny the Sad Sunflower. There were comic books, trading cards, stamps, merchandise… she was a beloved icon.
They hired a woman to dress like her every summer, to welcome the Junior Rangers and teach them the system. Lady Bluebell was sort of our Smokey the Bear, telling kids how to behave in the park to keep themselves, and others, safe. I loved it. Long after the end of Junior Ranger Club came to an end, I still collected all sorts of Lady Bluebell memorabilia.

But there were issues.
Over time, some visitors to the park began stealing the blue tape, keeping it as a souvenir. Others just took the bell. Some moved the bell around, purposefully pointing it in the wrong direction. Over time, the effort and resources required to constantly fix the system started to outweigh the benefits.
They officially ditched the “Lady Bluebell takes you home” motto in 2008 and retired the mascot entirely in 2011. I was sad to see her go, but it made sense. It just wasn’t practical anymore. Times change.

Now that you know me a little better, I want to tell you about one particular incident. Something I haven’t been able to share with my friends and colleagues.

It was late August. I was following our south-easternmost trail, mapping the movements of an elk herd. The leaves were just about to change color, and there was a tinge of cold in the air. Branches had started making snappier sounds, and the days were rapidly growing shorter. Autumn was just around the corner. That day, I was ready to head back when I spotted a plume of smoke just off my trail. Nothing big, possibly a campfire. I decided to give it a once-over, just in case.
I came upon a small camp. A rough-looking one-man tent, neon orange. A hastily constructed campfire with what looked like a grilled squirrel. I caught a whiff of sweat coming off the tent, giving me the impression that whoever lived there had been around for a while. Looking at their choice of meal, I figured maybe a bit too long.
“Hello?” I called out. “Anyone here?”

I heard a shout in response and hurried footsteps. Someone falling, getting up, and then sprinting in my direction. At first I was taken aback, thinking it might be a wild animal. Seconds later, a young woman crawled into camp.
The best word to describe her was “disheveled”. Her hair was a tangled mess, and she was deeply sunburnt on her arms and face. Her lips were dry and pale, and her hands kept shaking. The moment she saw me, her eyes welled up with tears.
“Yes!” she cried. “Jesus Christ, yes!”
She got up and flung her arms around me, crying onto my shoulder. Not just a sob either, but a full-on wail. She tried to say something, but every other word got stuck in her throat.
“Did… did I make it?” she sniffled. “Am I out?”

I sat her down, offered her some of my water, and asked her to calmly explain what’d happened.
“I just… just… can’t believe my luck,” she said. “I thought it was all over.”
I choked on my words. Nothing had prepared me for this. We weren’t out looking for anyone. We hadn’t been for months, maybe years.
“It’s okay,” I said. “Let’s pack up. Let’s get you home.”

Her name was Anya Baker. She’d been part of a company retreat and got lost somewhere along the way. She figured she’d been on her own for about two weeks, but there was no way to tell for sure.
“The days kinda blend,” she sighed. “You keep walking, and it might’ve been an hour, or two days. It messes with your head.”
She was malnourished and dehydrated. I didn’t think she had the strength to make it back, the closest ranger station was quite a way off. I asked if I could help her carry something, but she brushed me off.
“I got this,” she insisted. “Please, just… get me home.”

We got back on the trail and started making our way back. I took out my radio to call it in.
“I used to come here all the time,” Anya said. “Never thought I’d get lost.”
“It happens to the best of us,” I smiled. “You made it, that’s what counts.”
“I thought I did it right. I stopped, listened, and looked. Followed the bells. All of it.”
“We don’t do that anymore.”
“I figured.”

I told Anya about how the Lady Bluebell program had been discontinued for over a decade. I complained about the sabotaged bells, the stolen tape, and all the stupid things that tourists had done over the years. Frankly, I found it strange she’d found any bells at all; I hadn’t seen them for years.
But there were more immediate concerns. I’d never had trouble with my radio before, and now it was dead as a doornail. I brought out my backup batteries, but the radio stayed silent. Still, Anya was in better shape than I’d anticipated, so I figured we’d make it back by nightfall if we kept a good pace.
About two hundred feet down the trail, something started to feel wrong. The trail should’ve turned by then, heading west. Instead it kept going north. Looking around, I couldn’t see any of the usual landmarks. We continued for another 10 minutes, only to see the trail suddenly stop. Not slowly disappear into the moss, but stop altogether.
There were no trails like that. Not on that hike. Not for as long as I’d been there.

I wasn’t taking any chances, and there was no point dwelling on it. The radio was busted, so I picked up my flare gun. It was only one shot, so I had to make it count. I aimed it up, asked Anya to step back, and fired. The light soared into the sky with a whoosh, bathing the treetops in an intense red glow. Those things are louder than you think; it’s nothing like the movies.
“Now we sit tight,” I said. “They can’t find us if we keep moving.”
“So we buddy up,” Anya smiled. “That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?”
“That’s right,” I nodded. “You a Junior Ranger?”
Anya made herself comfortable on a log and took a swig from my canteen.
“Lady Bluebell takes you home,” she sighed.
She shook her head and handed back my canteen. A twinkle in her eye came and went.
“Not anymore, it seems.”

We stayed out there for hours. We shared a protein bar, and Anya helped me set up a campfire. To my surprise, there was a stream nearby. There wasn’t supposed to be, but there was. We boiled some water, refilled my canteen, and made ourselves comfortable. It could be hours before someone got to us.
It didn’t take long for the sky to turn black. I figured no one would find us in the dark, so we set up camp. Anya had her tent, and I had a hammock. We both went to bed early, but I couldn’t get any sleep. My new buddy was out cold though. I guess the excitement of seeing another person for the first time in weeks was enough to wear her out. I, on the other hand, was anxious about not finding my way back. It didn’t make any sense. I’d walked that trail a thousand times.
Somewhere in the space between the waking world and an uneasy sleep, I remember thinking about Lady Bluebell. Her three rules were simple; Stop, Listen, Look. First to stop, so you don’t get more lost than you already are. Second, to listen. The sound of the bells usually travels much further than the sight of the blue tape. And the third rule, to look, was a reminder to identify which way the bells were positioned.
I remember thinking that we’d already done the first part. We’d stopped. A part of me wanted to listen, like I’d done back when I was a kid. To hear that bell and find my way back.
As sleep faded from my mind, my eyes drifted into the dark. I noticed a strip of blue tape wrapped around a nearby tree.
Strange that I hadn’t seen it before.
Maybe it wasn’t there until I started to look for it.

Anya was awake long before I was. She’d heated up a bag of chickpeas from my pack and sliced up some salami. Simple stuff, but all you needed to keep going. I went to refill the water canteen again but couldn’t find my way back to the stream. Realizing it just wasn’t there anymore made my blood run cold. I wasn’t used to doubting myself. I knew these woods like the back of my hand, and suddenly it felt like I’d found an extra finger. None of this made any sense.
I checked my map and double-checked my compass. There was nothing even close to a landmark in our vicinity. There were no obvious elevations, lakes, or rivers. I was running out of options. It took me a moment to realize the Anya was staring at me from across the campfire, having picked up on my anxious fiddling. She gave me a reassuring smile.
“I saw her once, you know,” she said. “Back when I was a Junior.”
“It’s not uncommon,” I added. “Lots of kids think they see her. We all made her up in our minds, trying to convince one another that she was real.”
“No, I mean, really saw her. Dress and all. Tall as hell.”
Anya finished up her last spoonful of chickpeas.
“I was out fetching firewood. I wasn’t even lost. She just stood there, looking at me.”
“Shadows can play tricks on us.”
“No, see, that’s the thing,” Anya laughed. “It was the middle of the day.”

We waited all day long.
Morning, afternoon, and long into the night. Still, not a soul to be seen. No flares going up, no sounds in the distance. It was just me, Anya, and miles and miles of forest. A forest that should be familiar to me, but somehow wasn’t. We decided that come morning, we would make our way back on our own. Heading straight north should bring us to one of the main trails, no matter our approaching angle.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell Anya that I, too, had seen Lady Bluebell. After all these years, I still couldn’t believe it, even though it’d been just as clear as the way Anya had described it. That night, I stayed up listening to the howling wind. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t help but to listen. And the more I tried to avoid it, the more I heard it. And there, hidden in the breeze, was something else.
Distant bells, urging me to look.
To look for Lady Bluebell.

The next day we packed up and got moving. Anya was much better off than when I’d first met her, having snacked on most of my backup rations. I still had some left, but we’d have to start foraging soon. Still, the trail shouldn’t be more than a few hours out, at most. But then again, nothing seemed to be where it ought to anymore.
We hiked through a clearing, stepping over collapsed trees and knee-length grass. Then I spotted something in the distance. I waved Anya over, and we took a detour.
It was one of our old “Stop, Listen, Look”-signs. I hadn’t seen one in years. It was a bit roughed up, but still legible. However, it’d been slightly altered. Someone had added “Don’t” to every line with a bright blue paint.
(Don’t) Stop.
(Don’t) Listen.
(Don’t) Look.
Lady Bluebell (won’t) take you home.

“Did you-“
“No,” Anya interrupted. “That’s, ah… that’s new.”
We came to the same conclusion. We weren’t alone out there.
We continued north, but I couldn’t help the feeling that there was something off about the whole area. I started to notice little details all around. Broken branches and paths in the grass. There was a spot next to a large rock that looked like someone had been sleeping next to. The tracks were pretty distinct. I even found a few footprints, and Anya swore that she’d never been there before.
By late afternoon, I was getting worried. Not only had there been more footprints and tracks, but they were getting fresher. We slowed our pace, and I started to take a better look around. I needed to get an estimate of just how many others were out there.
I was following the tracks of about three people when I saw another clearing ahead of us. It took me a few moments to realize that we had, effectively, walked in a circle. We were back at square one. I could even see the “Stop, Listen, Look”-sign in the distance.

I brought out my compass, took Anya by the arm, and stormed off. We had to try again. I don’t know when and where we got turned around, but we couldn’t stop now. We kept going north, and this time I didn’t put away my compass for a second. We settled into a steady jog, making sure the clearing stayed behind us. Anya kept a steady pace, even if she made a lot of noise.
At one point, we stopped to drink some water. I looked back for a second, only to see something in the distance. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it was standing upright. No, not just standing.
Running.

At first, we didn’t understand what we were looking at. It took me several seconds to realize it was even human. A young man, no older than 17, maybe 18. Rough hair, with cuts all over his legs and arms. He was only wearing a pair of torn jeans, darkened by weeks of built-up dirt. He didn’t run like people usually do, he was hunched over and flailing with his arms. He kept doing this strange motion with his neck, like a bobblehead. Never standing still.
As he got closer, I could hear this constant mumbling. Not a scream, or a whisper. It was like he was trying to manically force little words into every exhaled breath. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, I only understood that it was repeating.
Anya backed away, but it was clear that he was heading straight for us.
That’s when I noticed the sharpened flint in his hand.

Before I realized what was about to happen, he charged us. He went for Anya first, but she was too quick for him. As she ducked behind a tree, I moved to intercept. I grabbed my camping shovel from the side of my backpack and took a wild swing. As our attacker turned to face me, my swing clocked him right across the side of his face. There was a deeper cut than I’d anticipated, severing parts of his ear.
He reeled back and fell over. He struggled to regain his balance, but the head trauma made his eyes spin. His mouth kept opening and closing like a fish out of water, forming the same words over, and over, and over again.
“Don’t… don’t stop. Don’t stop, don’t… don’t listen.”
His eyes locked onto mine. His pupils widened as a shiver worked its way into his voice. Shaking his head, a tear escaped him.
“Don’t look,” he quivered. “Don’t… don’t look!”
His eyes flicked to something off my side.
A piece of tape, hanging off a broken tree.

As I tried to assess his wound, he burst into movement. No longer able to run straight, he toppled over into a bent-over gallop; bracing himself against trees and stumps as he fled in a panic. I heard branches snapping long after he was out of sight.
Anya just stood there, frozen. I tried to put my hand on her shoulder, but she reflexively slapped it away. I could see she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Barely holding on.
“Just give me a, uh… give me a second,” she said. “Please.”

After that, we slowed down. I kept hearing noises in the distance. Mumbled words and snapping twigs. And sometimes, when there was a sudden gust of wind, there’d be bells. Sometimes one, sometimes several. But we stayed the course, moving north.
As night fell, I realized that I didn’t want to stop. Whenever I stopped, the sounds would get louder. The bells would get closer. Whatever lurked in the dark seemed to gain on us. Even though nothing leapt out at us, and there were no more attacks, I had this constant sense of unease; like sleeping in gasoline right next to a wobbly candle.
Anya wasn’t faring much better. She sat next to our campfire for hours, slowly rocking back and forth. Sometimes I’d see her snapping her head in one direction or the other, as if reacting to a sudden noise that only she could hear.

I twisted and turned for hours, barely keeping my eyes shut. It felt like the night would never end. The more I thought about it, the slower time seemed to move. I remember staring up at the night sky, waiting for the moon to come into view. It never did.
Anya told me she would wake me up before going to sleep so we could take turns keeping watch. It didn’t do me much good though. I was just as awake as she was. I got about an hour’s worth of sleep, all in all. Anya didn’t get anything. She didn’t even bother to set up her tent.
When I finally got up, it was still dark out. I checked my wristwatch, but it’d stopped just before midnight. Anya was still up, staring into the cinders of the campfire. We had plenty of firewood, but she just couldn’t be bothered to put them on. I got up from my hammock and stretched.
“It’s been a… it’s been more than a couple of weeks,” said Anya. “Time stopped making sense long ago.”
“What was the last date you remember?”
“Late July, I think.”
“That’s not too bad,” I smiled. “Just a couple of weeks out.”
I dug out the remaining salami from my pack and cut me a slice. I sat down across from her, at the other end of the campfire. I put a log on and watched the fire crackle back to life.
Then, something whispered in the back of my mind. An obvious question that I hadn’t considered. Up until now, it’d been too absurd to ask.

“What year?”
Anya and I locked eyes. I could see a stark realization boiling in the back of her mind. I repeated the question.
“What year, Anya? Who’s the president?”
She didn’t respond. Something cold crawled up my spine as a thought settled; I didn’t know who the hell was sitting across from me, or what they’d really seen. Where were we even going?
“We should pack up,” she said, breaking the tension.
“It’s still dark out.”
“Sometimes it stays that way for a while.”

As Anya packed up, I felt deflated. She was holding something back. If we were to make it out, in any capacity, we needed to work together. Follow the buddy system.
“Anya, you’re not making any sense.”
“Sometimes, it stays dark. She breaks the rules to keep us here.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been here so long that I don’t know what’s real anymore. I thought I-I… could trick myself into forgetting, but she won’t let me. She’s there. She’s always there.”
I didn’t say anything. Anya kept pacing back and forth, scratching the back of her head.
“I wrote the damn sign,” she growled. “Because when you stop, she’s there. When you listen, you hear her. And when you look… when you look…”
Anya grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.
“… when you look, there she is.”

At first, I didn’t’ see anything. Maybe I didn’t want to. But there was that gnawing doubt in the back of my mind – something in my reptile brain telling me I was looking for something.
Slowly, the shadows twisted. They bent out of shape, forming something new. With every blink of my eye, a picture created itself in the distance.

A vague silhouette of a bone-thin woman. A few tufts of hair clinging to a decrepit scalp. A broken jaw hanging like a loose thread; swaying back and forth with a sudden breeze. A sour smell wafted my way, coating my tongue with a spike of ammonia.
And of course, there it was.
Her signature blue dress, assuring to one and all that there could be no mistake.
Lady Bluebell.

“Anya, what… what is…”
I looked back, only to see Anya backing away. She was packed and ready to go. She’d taken my canteen, and I could see my pack lying next to the campfire; wide open. There was a palpable fear in her eyes, like a wild animal.
“I can’t let her take me,” Anya wheezed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Before I got the chance to process what she’d done, a sound cut through the forest breeze.
Bells.
So many bells.

I turned to see the broken woman towering over me. She was so much taller than expected. My legs buckled as I looked up at no less than a 9-foot-tall monstrosity. Her torn blue dress was lined with bells that chimed against every branch and root she passed over.
She wasn’t going to let me leave. She refused to be forgotten.
I shouldn’t have stopped. Or listened. Or looked.
I stepped back, and she stepped forward. Her feet barely touched the ground, floating inches above the moss. Her ivory eyes burrowed into me, shrieking with desperation.
She wouldn’t let me go home. She couldn’t.

I turned to flee. I ran, and jumped, and crawled, and forced myself past every obstacle. I snagged my foot on fallen rocks. I tumbled down a sudden slope, dropping half my gear. I stepped through a shallow mire, drenching myself in cold water all the way to my knees. I bloodied my hands, and feet, and face, but I kept going.
And somewhere along the way, the sun rose. Wheezing for air, I realized I couldn’t hear the bells anymore. But the moment I stopped to listen for them, I heard one.
“No!” I yelled out loud. “No! No! No! Stop! Stop thinking!”
I bit down on my thumb and screamed. I shouldn’t listen. I shouldn’t stop, either.
I had to keep going.
It all reminded me of what my teachers had said, years ago. How the world changed when we observed it. Maybe if it wasn’t for people coming listen and look, there would be nothing to see there. Maybe by keeping people around , a part of her collective self remains.

I don’t know how long I was out there. At least a couple of days. I kept moving, stopping only for short bursts of rest. Sometimes I’d dream of bells, and I’d wake to hear them. The slightest thought of Lady Bluebell drew her to me like a moth to an open flame. I’d hear the bells long before I saw her, but one would always accompany the other. She was always there; a stray thought away.
I survived by eating boiled pinecones, roots, and eggs from warbler nests. I tried to track my progress, but there was no way to navigate. I’d either end up where I came from or going in the wrong direction. I saw that same sign, in that same clearing, at least a dozen times. Don’t Stop, Don’t Listen, Don’t look.
My feet chafed, and I’d grown a solid bear stubble. Having barely slept, I was having trouble shaping cohesive thoughts.

I remember sitting by a stream, not knowing how I got there. Maybe the same stream I’d seen that first day of meeting Anya. I was wringing out my socks and trying my best to ignore my shivering hands. I felt so weak that I couldn’t remember what strength felt like. Just getting back on my feet felt like such a monolithic task that I couldn’t force myself to do it. I resigned to sitting there with one naked foot in the ice-cold water. My skin color faded as my blood cooled from a painful purple to a sickly blue.
It took me a few moments to realize I wasn’t alone. But it wasn’t Lady Bluebell.
It was Anya, just across the stream.

She looked at me with this air of pity. Apologetically, even. It took me a few seconds to notice the makeshift spear she’d whittled; using the Swiss army knife from my pack, no doubt.
“I really am sorry,” she said. “After she feeds, she calms down. When she’s calm, you can get out. I had to bring someone new in, the others are too fast. Too clever.”
I didn’t even care. I couldn’t bring myself to curse or scream. I just hated Anya and what she’d turned me into. I kept my eyes on the stream, watching the water turn my foot a new tint of blue.
“Just take a nap,” she said. “Lean back, and let it happen. No fuss, no drama.”
I barely listened. All I could think of was that tinge of blue forming at the edge of my toe. It made me think of her. It made me think of bells. It made me look for her.
“That’s it,” said Anya, readying her spear. “I’ll just give you a little tap to make sure we won’t have any problems.”
I looked down at my hands, covered in scabs and bruises. My wet socks clinging to my thigh. Suddenly, a pain shot through my left leg. A quick jab from her spear and my body exploded with damaged nerves. It was as if a burst of electricity shot through me, forcing me out of my lethargy. As my blood mixed with the stream, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I crawled backwards, unable to put any weight on my leg. Anya backed away, staying just close enough to make sure Lady Bluebell was properly fed.

And the Lady was already there.
Maybe I had listened too long, or looked too hard. Maybe it was just the blue tint of my toe. Whatever it was, my thoughts had drawn her to me, and this time I couldn’t run. I heard the bells dragging my way, and saw a long shadow cover the ground. I looked back for a moment, catching a glimpse of her dead eyes coming my way.
Lady Bluebell didn’t take you home anymore.
I couldn’t run, but I had to try something.
Anything.
I tied my wet socks together into a makeshift blindfold and put it on as tight as I could. I pushed my wet fingers into my ears and screamed. I figured that if I couldn’t listen or look, maybe she’d be less interested in feeding on me. I focused on the pain in my leg as hard as I could, letting it envelop my thoughts. I knew she was closing in. My pulse went haywire, begging me to panic. To look back, to listen for threats, and run. To know what to expect, and prepare myself.
But I didn’t.

There was the soft touch of a cloth against my head.
Little pieces of metal bells dragged across my body, as Lady Bluebell passed me by.
She didn’t care for someone who couldn’t look, or listen.
But Anya could.
Anya did.

Keeping the sock-blindfold on, I flopped onto my belly. I kept my fingers in my ears, screaming until my throat was raw. I felt a thumping in the ground as something was dropped, and quick footsteps in rapid succession. Someone was running. Then, a sudden stop.
For what felt like an eternity, it was just me and my thoughts. Maybe she got away. Maybe we both made it.
Then, something meaty bumped into me. Something warm, and wet. It splattered onto my clothes and stained my face, drowning the air with a stench of blood. There was a reverb in the air, like the vibration of a scream.
But I didn’t turn to look. I didn’t turn to listen.
And I refused to stop.

Hours later, I made myself a crutch. I pressed wetmoss into my ears and kept the blindfold tight. Blind and deaf, I forced myself forward. It was just inches at a time, and every step of the way shot through me like a bolt of lightning.
And somewhere along the way, I felt a solid trail under my feet. Taking off the blindfold, I started to notice familiar landmarks. My clock started ticking, and my radio burst to life. I was back on familiar ground. Maybe Anya had been right; Lady Bluebell was more relaxed after a feeding.
Civilization was just around the corner, waiting for me to observe it once again.

I’d been gone for six weeks.
It was none other than Ranger Dan that came across me, leading a troupe of Junior Rangers across the same trail as all those years ago.
And yes, he had hot dogs.

Now that some time has passed, and my leg has healed, I’ve retreated to an administrative position. I keep my exposure to the park minimal. I haven’t told anyone about what really happened. Not only because it sounds completely insane, but because knowing about it might actually put them in danger. I might not get along with everyone, but I wouldn’t wish for anyone to come looking for Lady Bluebell.
Anya Baker was, indeed, reported missing from a company retreat; about 8 years prior. The strange young man was a mystery. No one matching his description had been seen for years.

Looking back at it, it feels so obvious. Anya had been so frantically preoccupied with fighting her way forward that she never really considered the very first rule.
To just… stop.

Perhaps there is some greater lesson to be learned. There were so many of us that never wanted Lady Bluebell to leave. We stopped along the trails to listen and look, hoping some part of her was still out there. Maybe we were just looking for our childhoods. I know I was.
I believe that she was some collective consciousness of belief, remaining in a forgotten part of what the park used to look like. A creature we all made and abandoned, like the ghost of someone who never truly was.
Maybe the world changes when we look at it. And sometimes it changes when we don’t.
And in the deep dark of those unseen chasms, things still grow.
Unheard, unseen, and unstoppable.

I'm going to spoiler tag this entire post (after this intro). Don't click it if you haven't read all 41 main books, as I will be referencing various ones as I see fit (this includes The Shepherd's Crown for all of you who are avoiding it. Skip this post). You've been warned! :) This will also be a very long read; don't complain about it, just skip it. :P
So I started reading in the early 2000s when a friend of mine who knew I was into fantasy (big roleplayer here), science fiction, and Hitchhiker's Guide was shocked that I hadn't read any Discworld, so he loaned me a bunch of books. It was all Rincewind stuff, specifically The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sourcery, Interesting Times, and The Last Continent. I think it may have also included Eric, as I had definitely read that before this most recent time (although I don't remember illustrations, did a non-illustrated paperback version exist back then?). I enjoyed them, thought they were funny enough, particularly liked Death, the puns and references, and when the books started having more actual plots than just being a collection of vaguely related short stories. I was also a big fan of Twoflower and the iconograph. I started to see little Discworld references everywhere (such as in the game NetHack, the "Tourist" class was based on Twoflower [who actually appears in the game]). This was years ago, I can't remember many specific references from then, but you all know as well as I do that they're everywhere.
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Some time ago I discovered The Long Earth novels by Stephen Baxter and Terry Pratchett. I believe only three existed at that point. I was familiar with Stephen Baxter by reputation (I have a friend very much into hard science fiction and authors like Iain M. Banks), and I knew Pratchett to be a good author, and I expected it would be an interesting combination with them paired up. I only read the first one before I was distracted by life, but I thought it was a great exercise in world building, and expected that the following books would introduce more actual plot now that the world was developed. Finishing the series is next on my list (mainly so I can get more Pratchett now that I've completed Discworld). I also enjoyed the portrayal of Lobsang (little did I know...).
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So for years, these were "Discworld" to me: I thought they were all about Rincewind, I thought they were pretty funny and punny and clever, and that was that. Then I started seeing various poignant quotes and scenes online. Things like Granny's discussion with Mightily Oats about the nature of sin, and Vimes' boot theory of economics, and I was like "Wait, these are the same books?" Then again, I knew that there were a lot of them, and perhaps he had branched them off. I didn't realise at the time that Rincewind wasn't exactly what you'd call the series main character, as his way of writing involved many main characters over the years, depending on the novel. Over the years I had re-read my Rincewind books (I moved away and ended up keeping them -- sorry person in Ottawa whose name I don't remember but I played Vampire the Masquerade tabletop with you a few times! Thanks for the lifelong obsession!), and had since found Guards! Guards!, Equal Rites, Mort, and Small Gods at libraries or through friends. These grew me more interested in the characters of Vimes, Granny Weatherwax, and Death (the first two of course which are only lightly developed at this point, Granny even moreso than Vimes), but that was the extent of it. Until last year.
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Last year (I want to say August or September) I was gifted the complete (digital versions) Discworld set, all 41 books, by family. It was a wonderful gift. I completed my Rincewind series readthrough (as in, I re-read the first five [again] and added The Last Hero and Unseen Academicals to the list), and I also read the odd book out of sequence, based on suggestions I'd seen (mainly on this subreddit), such as Men at Arms, Pyramids, and The Fifth Elephant (which I just now almost mistyped as a Bruce Willis movie. I love that movie). At this point, I decided I wanted to do a complete publication order read-through. Despite it being a common refrain that publication order is NOT the way to read them, I decided that A), screw that, I'm a grown-ass man and I can do what I want, B), I had already read specific titles and story arcs that I felt like, so I knew what his later writing style was like and what to look forward to, C) I was excited to see that writing style, and various characters (and the world itself) develop over the years, and D) I had already read the so-called "worst" of his books that even Sir Terry suggested skipping. This time, I DID skip re-reading The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic and Sourcery, as I had read them many times, and had also just finished reading them a month previous on my Rincewind/Wizards read-through, but everything else I had read was either a while ago, or although recent (like The Last Hero and Unseen Academicals), by the time I had gotten to them in publication order I would be dozens of books in and would be feeling a re-read at that point. So I started with Equal Rites, and (skipping Sourcery) read everything, having just finished The Shepherd's Crown the night before last (I wanted to write this while it was fresh in my mind, but it was also 5:30am when I finished, and I needed a day to sit with my emotions before writing about them).
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So after that incredibly long-winded introduction as to my background with the Discworld novels and Sir Terry in general, here are some thoughts, in no particular order:
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• I'm hesitant to say that anybody was the "best character", but Granny Weatherwax is certainly up there. The fact that (remember when I said to scroll past this post if you haven't read The Shepherd's Crown? THIS MEANS YOU!) she was killed off in the very beginning of the final book was, at first, a bit of an "I can't believe it" moment, but quickly turned into what felt expected and even fitting. Sir Terry knew it was his final book, and he was saying goodbye as much as we were. The fact that the rest of the book was about dealing with the fallout from that, and "promoting" a new Granny because life goes on I thought was well done, and I really enjoyed seeing people around the world reacting to the news of Granny's death (Vetinari even said "Crivens!", although that was less about Granny's death, and more that Tiffany may bring the Nac Mac Feegle back to Ankh-Morpork). Even Death felt a bit of sorrow about it. After Granny died I teared up a bit, but it was bitter-sweet. After the book ended, and there is no new Discworld for me, and especially reading the notes about what future book ideas Sir Terry had, and his struggle with Alzheimer's, I full on cried.
• I get why people like Moist and his books so much. They were a lot of fun, and introduced some very novel (to the Discworld at least) concepts to the books that were then referenced in subsequent books, or even made into plot points (the Post coach being commandeered by Carrot so Vimes can read to Young Sam, and I don't know if the elves would have been defeated at all in The Shepherd's Crown if it wasn't for the railway).
• At some point in the earlier Vimes books, Vetinari became probably my favourite character across the series, but that fell off a bit as I got to the Moist books. I still think he's a great character, there were just so many other good ones by this point (plus I didn't love how, three Moist books in, the guy being responsible for much of the modernisation of the city, Vetinari kept treating him like a second-class citizen, and regularly threatening his life. Although, perhaps he felt that he was the "danger" making Moist's life worth living, in which case that's just another example of Vetinari playing 4D chess. Okay, head canon accepted, and he's definitely up there again).
• Like I have from other great authors, I have picked up a few new habits/quirks from the Discworld series. Such as saying "Yan, tan, tethera" (which I'm aware was already a Roundworld thing, I just didn't know until the books [and then the annotation on L-Space]), and I have a new appreciation for lilacs (already a tree that I enjoyed the look and smell of, and I was already upset that hurricane Fiona destroyed the one in my back yard, but now it's also meaningful to me). I regularly reference that "away" is the important part of running, and that "to" will take care of itself. As an old-school D&D player, I used to love elves when I was younger, but now (and not entirely because of Discworld) I think dwarves are far superior. But not, as it turns out, superior to goblins, as I've even found myself (in my, now, later post-goth years) attracted to the aesthetic of goblincore (cool sticks, rocks with holes in them, neat mushrooms, and natural beauty).
• I greatly appreciate how Sir Terry tackled real world issues, sometimes years before they were "trendy" to talk about (such as trans rights), demonstrating that writing can be serious and funny and poignant and punny and deep, all at the same time. Also more general issues (as in things that affect everybody all the time), such as wealth inequality, housing issues, and most especially death simply being a part of life. As another favourite author would say in regards to death, "So it goes."
• The fact that "author fiat", known on the Disc as "narrativium", is one of the five fundamental forces of the universe (at least locally, on the Discworld) is a very nice touch. Of course, in any fiction the story does what the writer wants it to (or so one supposes, although there are many writers who would tell you that the story does what the CHARACTERS want it to, as the writer reads along, just as amazed as we are by all the twists and turns): this is known as author fiat, and to some people is the reason they don't like fiction, as "real life doesn't work that way". No, but this story DOES work that way. On the Discworld, this is a known force that exists in-universe, and (combined with a little bit of genre savvy) allows those who know the story to shape the story, such as one-in-a-million chances, the Silver Horde facing five armies in Interesting Times, (again) the Silver Horde facing a smiling Carrot with a non-magical sword (and isn't there a rumour that maybe he's a secret king?), and pretty much the entire plot of Witches Abroad (Rincewind has been known to display some genre savvy as well, whether or not he was attempting to influence the narrativium). Also the fact that Death and the Hogfather and Wintersmith and other anthropomorphic personifications really exist BECAUSE they are believed in. These (genre savvy and the theory of narrative causality) are pretty common tropes in certain kinds of fiction, but on Discworld it's an identified and measured fundamental force like gravity and electromagnetism and the strong and weak nuclear forces, all of which lead really well into some of the wizards becoming, essentially, particle physicists.
• As a rat lover, Maurice and his Educated Rodents was a gut punch. It was more horrifying than any other book of his that I have read (I am reminded of Coraline by Sir Terry's friend Neil Gaiman: terrifying to adults and to children, but also adored by children). I love that it is technically "young adult" fiction, because if the kids are reading stuff like this and Tiffany, they'll turn out alright (I know there is a lot of YA fiction that is trash piled on trash -- sometimes it seems like anybody can get published in that genre -- but there's also a lot of quality authors out there in the YA sphere. And the "trash" comment isn't just my age showing; when I was 13 or so I still knew good writing and good messages from bad. Largely, I'm looking at you Twilight [and derivatives], you opened the floodgates, much to the chagrin of booksellers everywhere. And this is coming as a lover of vampires.) Plus, the names of the rats are seriously on point. I mean, "Dangerous Beans"? Come on. Perfection.
• I love all the little plot devices set up in earlier books (many/most of which were probably just throwaway jokes) that were later revisited and expanded upon. For example, Koom Valley was where the dwarves ambushed the trolls, but it was also where the trolls ambushed the dwarves. This seems like it's just propaganda from both species over the years, neither side knowing what really happened, but of course it had to be the other guy's fault, but then of course we find out that that's kind of what happened (a refresher: it was supposed to be peace talks, but an uncanny fog rolled in, and each side had anxious troops which jumped the gun and begat the fighting, a simultaneous double "ambush"). Eskarina Smith, the first woman wizard, being a one-off character and never mentioned ever again, until she actually showed up in I Shall Wear Midnight, helping Tiffany figure out what to do, and also introducing her to Tiffany. Maurice gets mentioned once in Reaper Man, and then becomes the subject of an entire book. He also did this within books as well, as a throw-away line would end up being huge foreshadowing or resolving a plot point at the end of the book. Examples include "You'd have to be born a fool to be a king" from Wyrd Sisters, and "Come on, if you think you're hard enough" from Unseen Academicals, which we recognise as blustery thuggery that tends to cause more trouble than it resolves, but used by the intellectual Mr. Nutt, now revealed to be an orc, it demonstrates that he has learned and earned his place in society as shown by his unwillingness to back down, but also, if he's so bad, maybe people should come and do something about it. No? Then that's the last he wants to hear of it. But in the beginning, when Trev takes him to a football match and suggests he says that, you can't help but think "That's going to cause a fight", but of course, it prevents one.
• Colour myself surprised that (as a 43 year old male) the books I expected to least enjoy/get into ended up being my favourites of the entire series: the Tiffany Aching books. They are excellently written (naturally, they're Pratchett), they go to some dark, necessary places, but don't dwell there more than they have to, they are about life in all its aspects, for a young female protagonist the books aren't about puberty and boys (even in the places where they kind of are), and they have a very practical bent (as do all of the witch books [except perhaps Witches Abroad], although as Tiffany is the one generally learning the life lessons as opposed to imparting them, the practicalities hit different). Plus (although they were technically introduced in Carpe Jugulum) it gave us the Nac Mac Feegle. Nae king! Nae quin!
• The punes (or plays on words)! I've always been a fan of a good pun. And Sir Terry was certainly the gift that kept on giving in that respect. Even most of the book titles are punes (or plays on words). Every time I read a thread on this subreddit I discover another five references I didn't get the first go around (or many goes around), and there's usually a pun or six betwixt. The rule of thumb seems to be that if you read it as a pun, it was intended as one, and if it was multi-layered, he meant them all. Rosie Palm of the Seamstresses' Guild (hem hem) is a (couple) of personal favourites though.
• The Latatian phrases. Some of it is real Latin, but some of it just sounds like it (commonly known as Dog Latin). Some of my favourites include Morituri Nolumus Mori - "Those Who Are About To Die Don't Want To" from The Last Hero, Doctorum Adamus con Flabello Dulci - "Doctor of Sweet Fanny Adams" from Jingo, and of course Cuius Testiculos Habes, Habeas Cardia Et Cerebellum - "When you have their testicles in your grip full attention, their hearts and minds will follow"-- Motto of the Omnian Quisition, from Small Gods. And of course Sir Terry's actual Latin family motto on the arms and crest granted to him upon his knighthood: Noli Timere Messorem- "Fear Not the Reaper".
• As much as the notes of future books in The Shepherd's Crown sound amazing and I want them, I hope they don't get anybody to actually write them (unless it's Rhianna Pratchett herself), because I find that sort of thing comes off as fan-fiction-ey (there's nothing wrong with the existence of fan-fiction, but I don't really like to read it myself. There are, of course, good examples of fan-fiction out there, and many writers got their start doing it). A strong example of my distaste for it is the sixth book of the Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy series, And Another Thing.... A professional and skilled and well-published author wrote the final book, with notes and a partial manuscript from Douglas Adams himself (as requested by his estate), and it felt like fan stuff to me, especially the aspect of pretty much every character that was ever in the books being shoe-horned into the plot, the main characters acting like caricatures of themselves, and overuse of catch phrases. And this comes from someone who loves all the other books, even the much reviled Mostly Harmless. I worry that, despite best efforts, no other author (MAYBE Gaiman, as they were close, but he has his own style) could or should write Discworld, except perhaps Rhianna (and only because she WANTED to, because she felt she had a good story to tell in that world).

I feel like there's more I want to say about these life-changing books, but I also feel like I'm running out of steam. I'm sure more will come to me when I'm laying in bed, probably re-reading the Discworld (I'm not ready to be finished! Maybe they will actually help me to sleep now. I love reading, but if I do it in bed, I usually manage to fall asleep pretty quickly, although not with the Discworld books! I found that I just couldn't stop turning pages until either the book was done, or I forced myself to go to sleep at 5 or 6 am. Which is how, although only reading in bed, I was able to read all 41 books since September.). I'm also sure that if anybody who managed to read this slog had any comments or questions, I would remember other things I wanted to say. If not, thank you all the same for reading. I know it was long. I know it was opinionated.
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To end, here's MY Latin motto: Magis aquam bibere, magis urino - "Drink more water, pee (urinate) more". Hydration and urinary health is important. People don't drink enough water. I've been saying the English version for years. Decided it'd be fun to put it into Latin about a month ago. Didn't realise I'd use it in a post about Pratchett. :P
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GNU Terry Pratchett. Mind how you go.

I've made posts like this before talking about Nasus and they were pretty well received, so I thought to give more condensed feedback about other champs too with less ranting and more useful juice, especially since devs recently asked about the exact suggestions I listed here.
First of all, I wanna say that I was lucky enough to have a constructive conversation with Dan himself, the former PoC designer who made Nami, Asol, Starforged, Chemtech, and... Thresh. Turns out Thresh was intentionally made as an "incomplete puzzle" to challenge people and solve the issues of his design by drafting proper cards. As I understood it, Dan was against the idea, but some other devs wanted it, so Nami and Thresh were released side by side as the opposite philosophies as an experiment. As expected, Thresh ended up as an utter dumpster fire, but Dan fixed him before leaving.
Edit: As requested by Dan himself in the comments, I'm clarifying that it was his decision to design and release Thresh as he was, intentionally doing it as an experiment along side Nami.
To all devs who still may think about making a future PoC champ "more challenging" or an "incomplete puzzle hard to make work" by purposefully giving them a trashy deck and powers, I wholeheartedly beg and ask in the name of the whole community... don't. There are numerous reasons why, and none outweigh the supposed positive intent behind the decision. People have emotional connections to champs, and spending hard-earned shards on their fav champ only to end up with something that doesn't feel even close to what the champ's fantasy was supposed to be is like a kick to the gut repeated every time one even thinks about playing them. It does not spark excitement and creative thinking, it sparks frustration and bitterness because so many other champs have fantastic designs, and then a dev decided "F you in particular" and made the fans of that champ eat white bread while others feast on a roast lobster with exotic spices. Do not leave a champ in a state in which thinking about playing them sparks frustration, because the fans of the champs will still play them and feel miserable, and everyone else will just hear how bad they are and never touch them. "Just think about all those things you could put on that white bread!" I hear someone say, to which I respond that a PoC champ should never rely on drafting mid-run, and should feel good and functional from the start. It's like using an image of someone puking on the cover of a cookbook instead of something tasty-looking. Who's gonna buy that? Besides this entire mode is all about wacky fun, so let every champ have their wacky fun. AI is never gonna complain. "Balance" in this mode should follow an entirely different philosophy, not of strength, but of fun, which also means keeping the fun relics fun instead of nerfing them when people get to have fun with them. \cough cough** Lost Chapter \cough**
This also means that all champs who were designed with an "intent to be bad" should be changed to something that feels like them. What I think a PoC champ should fulfill first and foremost is their power fantasy which is closely tied to their identity, so that people who love them can play out their dreams of burning the enemy to death with Annie, or rendering everything immobile with Morgana. Another reason why each champ should feel like "them" is teaching people how to play various archetypes, or at least an idea of it. Granted now that the game is moving away from PvP, it may matter less, but it could still be something to consider.
One very important distinction I want to make clear is when talking about a champ's feel or power fantasy, I do not mean their strength in-game. Strength =/= fun. There are cases of both underperforming and overperforming champs whose gameplay does not fulfill the idea of what playing that champ should feel like. The easiest example of the former is Nasus, whose deck has 2 cards from his package, and the rest are random fillers that don't function. Why is there a bloodthirsty marauder screaming "Glory for RENEKTON!" instead of Baccai Reaper? It doesn't come even close to feeling like you're playing Nasus, not to mention the star powers which are all about "win more" rather than "support and compensate". An example from the opposite side of power is Lux. Her star powers are so strong that she's kinda one of the worst cards in her own deck. Her entire gameplay revolves around spamming 0-cost rallies in a typical Demacia beatdown, and just using spells to enable it. Spending 5 mana to play Lux feels like a waste when you could have spent it to play a big spell, get the mana back, and play another, rallying numerous times till the nexus explodes. Her power fantasy is magic and LAZORS, which you kinda can achieve by putting relics like chemtech + valor on her, but that playstyle is inherently slower and less efficient from just rally beatdown. You have to go out of your way to get it instead of it being a natural part of her gameplay. I know some people enjoy the current take on Lux, but even they can admit that it hardly feels like playing Lux. This is still a matter worth looking into, although less urgent than helping the underperforming champs who instead just feel miserable. I'll talk about the ones that need help the most first, and then gradually move over to the strong champs that miss out on flavor and don't feel like "them", or could simply use a few swaps in their decks or powers.

1. Nasus

I've made long threads about him because he is my favorite char in all of Runterra, so I'll keep myself from ranting too much, but he does need the most help out of all PoC champs because his current take fails to deliver on every single aspect. Fun, representation, power fantasy, identity, raw strength, all buried deep in the sands, and now it is time for the goodest bestest boy to emerge from the depths of misunderstanding and into the light.
What Nasus currently has is Renekton's deck. Bloodthirsty Marauder especially makes it obvious with their voice lines. Nasus is all about value and sustain, not overwhelm beatdown. The reason why he's played with SI so much is because Shurima inherently lacks the tools for the playstyle he benefits from. The way to get Nasus to work is by getting more value out of a slay than a 1 to 1 trade on the board which can be done in countless ways, and it's what SI excels at. Demacia is also very good at attacking and keeping their units alive while slaying enemies thanks to high HP stats, challenger, tough, and so on. Shurima can't reliably do either due to low HP stats and focus on power, fearsome, and overwhelm, which is why Nasus' star powers need to compensate for the lack of in-region support. Imagine playing Leona without giving all units daybreak, Gwen without making free hallowed units, Veigar without making darkness, or Kindred without summoning prey, that's what Nasus feels like right now because he can't get slays without his board dying too. Despite how bad his 2* power is and how it seems to be the primary issue, it's far from the biggest one. Champs can get away with having a bad 2* if everything else is good, but for Nasus, nothing is good, and his deck is the biggest offender and should be heavily adjusted to favor sustainability and value trades to promote Nasus' motto: "The cycle of life and death continues, we will live, they will die." Here's my suggestion for cards and items which has been suggested by many, because that's what comes to mind when wanting to play Nasus. Since he's also studying The Void, the inclusion of some of Zilean's followers is a neat touch, but not random rock surfers or tomb raiders.
- Baccai Reaper, quick attack + any health item - Forsaken Baccai, +1 cost +3+3 item as one of the earlier upgrades, alternatively Aspiring Chronomancer with a stat boost. - Quicksand, summoning beacon (don't make us sacrifice poros please, Nasus is not that cruel) - The Darkin Bloodletters, Challenger (the only proper slay/fodder card in Shurima) - Xenotype Researchers, Shadow totem - Baccai Sandspinner, quick attack or barrier + "strike, draw 1" item - Rampaging Baccai, the fury item, or any of the rare stat-boosting ones. - Siphoning Strike, -2 cost
His powers also need help, the 1 and 3* are hard to get going due to it being a round-end effect combined with very low hp stats. Look at Kayn, instant full heal and +2+2 on the spot, that's what Nasus needs. The boost going on the strongest unit also makes little sense because Nasus is supposed to be the big guy win con, not a random 1-drop that just happened to outgrow him by the time he comes down. What he needs is to survive and set up the board for when he comes down. The simplest fix is making the boost apply instantly to the weakest ally (preferably excluding ones with negative keywords so darkin thralls or random kegs don't eat up the buffs). As for the 2*, if a complete replacement with something like creating Siphoning Strikes is not an option (which would also free up deck space for something like Shuriman Tellstones), make it similar to Spirit Fire, where it not only grants -2 power but also a stacking damage debuff like "Round end: Deal 2 to me". This would help with the issue of getting slays, feel flavorful, and be actually useful.
As a long-time Nasus fan the mere idea of playing with deck and powers like that gets me the excitement tingles, and even though it seems like a lot, he really needs it. The order of importance is the deck first, then the 1 and 3* boosting the weakest allies, preferably instantly, and then the 2* buff/replacement.

2. Ornn

Unlike Nasus, Ornn simply needs buffs. He fulfills the power fantasy, or at least the idea of it, he has his followers, he makes weapons, he forges, and what he lacks is simply power and "smoothness" in the way he achieves it all. He's a slow champ in a slow deck with more clunky "win more" powers instead of something that supports him. He also has 0 interaction out of combat besides a champ spell which is not maindecked, so I suggest replacing Adept Weaponsmith with Three Sisters. This alone will help tremendously. Otherwise, his deck is fine. Powers however need help, and first of all, playing Ornn with Wild Inspiration feels like something that should be the baseline cuz spending mana on those fleeting spells in a slow deck feels so clunky. Clogging the board space with the forge is also pretty pointless especially since there is a rare power that grants exact same thing without the landmark. The easiest solution is just generating 0-cost Time and Dedications without a landmark, or making forging refill mana. The 2* power also should not be limited to once per game, and weapons crafted this way (or all of them) should have epic items. This way even that useless Origami Slicer can be good if it happens to roll scout, which makes sense cuz Ornn made it, it has to be the bestest Origami Slicer on Runterra. Another idea worth considering is Aatrox-like cost reduction of stuff in hand when forging to help with the slowness of the deck.

3. Vi

Vi is in a similar situation to Nasus in the sense that PnZ isn't really "her region" just in general, but her case is much less severe even though she also kinda suffers from an identity crisis as a card, making playing her feel kinda like a nothing burger. This is both good and bad, as it's hard to make something for her with existing cards, but it does let the devs come up with something new entirely. When scrolling through the collection, there aren't many cards that feel like "Vi cards" in PnZ, but there are certainly some that will help more than others, as she too kinda plays like a Demacia champ, just with more draw. I'd make a few adjustments to the deck like replacing Gotcha with Piltovan Tellstones, Eager Apprentice with Station Archivist with that new attune prank item. As for powers, the idea is there, I see the vision, but honestly, they just don't deliver, so a simple buff to them would be nice, especially the 2*. It could perhaps draw 1 every round instead of once at the game start. Impact also has 0 synergy with... well, anything in her deck, so maybe give it synergy by rewarding doing non-combat damage to the nexus in some way? Maybe that's when the extra draw from the 2* happens?

4. Miss Fortune

Similar to Vi, I see the ideas behind her powers. A quick aggro deck needs a way to refuel, and free units to attack with help safely level MF. However similar to Vi in practice the execution of it turned out feeling mediocre at best. Similar to Vi I doubt she needs much, just the proper nudge in the right direction. MF is all about her guns, and yet her powers don't represent it at all. Powder monkeys are funni but are they really what makes MF, well, MF? Aside from getting back her old power which is now used for her map encounter, I think giving powder monkeys scout at least at 3* will already help out tremendously. Also, I'm not sure if it's still the case but I remember her 1* power not working with "Round Start: Rally" effects, she should just get a monke upon gaining an attack token so scout synergy is maintained, and it should stay like that at 3* too. I've seen people also complain that her 2* draws too much and they can't draft the hyper-aggro-attack-spammy stuff because the hand gets clogged, so I'd shift the power around and make the draw happen once per round, and add back the old power that made MF's gun skill appear whenever allies attack. Also replace Waverider with a scout unit, like Razorscale Hunter maybe. Her powers have the opposite issue of what Nasus has, they both support and compensate instead of rewarding. The great champs have a mix, where one power supports and the other rewards.

5. Gnar

Much like Vi and MF, he doesn't need much, but just misses the mark and feels clunky. Something as simple as adding maindeck Wallop with that new "Deal 3 to nexus" item will help out tremendously, perhaps replacing Heroic Refrain with it. Tusk Speaker is also a questionable choice for PoC as damaging your own nexus is way more detrimental here, so I'd either replace him, or give the healing item. Heroic Refrain getting grifter's deck is also just... weird and pretty useless if not detrimental. Replace it with wallop with that nexus-damaging item and Gnar will feel a lot smoother.

6. Janna

She needs some deck adjustments as for some reason someone decided not to include her proper support cards and add budget replacements instead. Why is there a Sump Dredger instead of Temple Caretaker? Seriously just give champs THEIR cards, stop with those "ahm acktchually it'd be too easy and we want you to draft"-STOP. If you want a champ to have a certain card, include it in a starting deck. Don't give suboptimal filler to starting decks in place of proper support cards, please, it feels so awkward. Also Howling Gale with grifter's deck is... frustrating. Please move that item over to Divine Whirlwind so that there is at least some way to close out the game. Janna struggles actually winning without a chonky support champ to smash the nexus.

7. Bard

Bard has a somewhat similar issue to Nasus in terms of powers. They're both rewarding for drawing chimes, but nothing helps you draw or make more of them, which results in Bard feeling very slow and a bit clunky. I know that Byrd and Esmus exist and Bard already makes chimes passively, but with the speed at which PoC is playing, and its power standards, relying on RNG to have a chime land on a 2 drop early or drawing one at all sometimes forces you to play sub-optimally and put non-buffed units on the board just to survive, then stall till something rolls lifesteal, then win. This loop is quite tiresome and common, so I suggest making the 2* power plant chimes somewhere in the top cards of your deck. Doesn't have to be THE top card, although it'd be very nice considering that drawing chimes is one thing, but having them land on things you need buffed is another.

8. Nilah

She doesn't have a single other brash unit in her deck asides Lookout who gains it from an item, and just like Nasus, she only has 2 of "her" cards, those being Vikrash and Tidal Invocation, which is already a strange """""support"""" card for her. In general cards with her theme do very little with brash or Nilah herself, like Joy Unending, but at least give her the Mister Lookout with the spirit stone (instead of Pool Shark, who is nice, but Mister swarming is funnier) and the boat (instead of Lookout). She also kinda suffers from overdrawing, in a sense that I've heard people having the issue of milling themselves, so adding something to powers that makes more stuff in the deck can be nice.

9. Evelynn

Her powers make very little sense, especially 1 and 3* as Eve stops leveling down after 6 allies die, meaning that playing husks early is actually detrimental, and will significantly reduce the efficiency of those powers. The 2* is also nearly useless, as Eve tends to play on curve, which just leaves you with a fleeting husk and no mana to play it. She very rarely gets to kill something and still have mana to play it, so the follower created this way should have a significant cost reduction. I'd change the condition of the boost from 1 and 3* from a champ leveling up to an ally dying for example, and only affect the board instead of everywhere, but if its too much work, simply adding the text "Round Start: If you have a leveled Evelynn, grant allies (maybe everywhere) +1+1." will allow the boost to keep going even after Eve stops leveling down. It's weird how playing her deck optimally ends up being suboptimal now.

10. Xerath

So really who gave Taliyah Xerath's powers? Why is there such an insane gap between 1 and 3*? Why does she benefit from destroying landmarks? Her deck is relatively fine, but the power disparity between 3* and non-3* is pretty absurd and I'd shift that power around a bit to make playing her below 3* feel better. The elephant in the room is the 2*, cuz as I said, breaking Landmarks is something Ziggs or Xerath like flavor-wise, not her, she's creating them if anything. I'd vote for a replacement into something revolving around landmark creation especially since they can have items now, otherwise, just some power-shifting would be nice, like maybe moving the overwhelm part from 3* to 1*, cuz just summoning a single rockbear feels so off for a star power.

11. Pyke

Let Spells Get Lurk The nr.1 bummer about drafting and playing Pyke are spells, and they get offered a lot, they're often good, but taking them hinders your chances to lurk every round so much, and that's not a good trade. It should never feel bad to draft a good card. His 2* should just say "Your spells everywhere have lurk" or something like that. Also now with PvE focus you can revert his nerfs, seriously the amount of times he is 1 damage away from leveling is absurd... Also, some people want Mariner's Ruse to stack on the same unit again as it used to to get bigger stats, which I think is fine if all spells get lurk by default.

12. Kayn and Varus

Their decks need deck adjustments, having one of the clunkiest and most "ugh-inducing" decks to pilot. Noxian Defector is just so bad, and what are the random Targonians doing here? Kayn has an entire cultist origin but gets an elephant in the room. Varus went around the world recruiting cultists and ended up with a goat, even if it's a nice goat. Give them their cultist followers instead of random Targonian animals. Dragon can stay though, dragons are cool, but most importantly replace Noxian Defector with an equipment. Varus doesn't maindeck a single equipment, and doesn't even create any with powers, and yet gets Furious Wielder and several other cards that require something to be equipped, help him.

13. Jack

The problem I'm finding with Jack is that even if I have the mana to spend, there are no cards to spend it on. Leveling him is oddly difficult even with relics like Archangel or Lost Chapter because he runs out of cards to play. Parrrley is the weirdest cuz with a -1 cost it doesn't help leveling Jack, and has absolutely 0 synergy with any power or starting card. I get you can finish prize fight hits with it but with how limited deck space is in starting decks, putting in a "tech" card like that is more of a detriment. Give him something like Salvage instead so he has proper draw which he needs more than parrrley. Also Slippery Waverider, again, why, Angel is right there.

14. Lee Sin and Master Yi

They both need more spells in the deck. Yes, their star powers provide that but still, they'd both need to swap out one or two cards to ensure more "smoothness" in their gameplay. For Lee, swap Gruesome Theater with Ionian Tellstones, and Scaled Snapper with Retreat Return. For Yi, swap Rush for Retreat Return, and Swole Squirrel with Nine Lives.

15. LeBonk

She is just... weird. Similar to Nasus and Nilah, she only has 2 of "her" cards in the deck. Why is there an Arachnoid Sentry instead of Thorn of The Rose? Why Blade's Edge instead of Sigil of Malice or even Guile? House Spider? Saboteur? Just why them? Why are her star powers about making sharpened resolve? Are we playing Ornn? Is she a weaponsmith? Her LoR design as a card is already weird and not true to what LeBlanc's theme is as The Deceiver and not a stat-stick brute fighter, but why push it further in her PoC design when you could have leaned into the trickery and illusion stuffs with star powers and items? Yes, she's strong despite all that, just like Lux, cuz dum stats are unga bunga strong, but it just doesn't feel like playing LeBlanc at all. Not a single unit besides her and conditionally Snapper has 5 power to progress reputation either. And yeah, I get it that 2+3 is 5 from sharpened resolved, but come on... Really? Her design feels so backwards. Her 2* is the main and perhaps only saving grace for the theme. I'd rework her entirely, including her base card, but this ain't a utopia so I'll settle for replacing the cards I mentioned earlier for ones better for LeBlanc like Lord Mallat, Mimic, or at least a 5+ power unit like Trifarian Hopeful, etc. And for star powers, consider changing the card she creates from sharpened resolve to something funnier, like maybe even Mirror Image, or Black Rose Spy. She really do be everywhere and everyone.

16. Darius

He has a very weird non-Darius-y deck. Also 2 LeBlanc cards and... he gets Thorn Of The Rose instead of her? What is Crimson Disciple doing there? Give me the soldiers like Trifarian Hopeful, or Reckless Trifarian with challenger, or burn cards like Imperial Demolitionist. Heck, maybe even Captain Kalrix, that would be funny. Poro can't be removed though, it clings to Darius too much.

17. Jax

The only lil hiccup about him now is after his level up requirement changed to count powers of allies on attack, it checks for it before star powers trigger, meaning that if I attack with normal 3-power Jax, and he gets boosted to 6 power, he'll only count his initial 3 towards the level up. It still hardly matters considering how strong he is despite that, but this thread is so long I might as well include it xD

POSITIVE FEEDBACK TIME

Many champs are extremely well-designed. They're flavorful, have good decks, adequate star powers, and are strong. Someone like Jinx is so strong she's boring to many, but playing these feels like something one would sign up for when deciding to pick them up. Imma list the prime examples. These are examples of successful champs, and if everyone was like them we'd be living in an utopia.
1. Morgana Her 1* power alone is so simple yet so good on so many levels. Playing her actually lets you root the entire enemy board with no chance of them ever breaking free, then get crushed. Not sure why she too has that elephant in the room or a random Solari, or why her momma doesn't have a cost-reducing item, but she's still a ton of fun.
2. Diana Arguably single best deck in PoC. Star powers provide synergy by making all units have nightfall, and help with activating it by refilling the mana. This is a prime example of patching up weaknesses and just letting the champ go ham in their perfect environment while staying fun.
3. Volibear This is how you design a high-cost champ. Voli gaining sigils from slays is so good and flavorful for his ruthless wrathful personality. His deck also has avalanche, freezes, and chonky units that can stay alive and value trade so the player can stay alive until big bear drops, then continue getting value with him.
4. Jhin Every single unit in his deck has a skill, aka is from his region, and the spells have great items. Health pot on Thermobeam is chef's kiss, the star powers both reward for playing skills and compensate for the lower base stats of units with skills. More cards like Captive Audience, please!
5. Annie F I R E G O B U R N She has her friends in the deck and a way to hold her own against chonkers thanks to free guiles. Her cards make sense, powers are simple, fire go burn.
6. Ashe Frostbite is cool, as is her deck. Unsure why she yoinked the Shared Spoils from Winter's Claw but probably the good boy Rimefang Wolf fetched it. Simple and effective, you give the leader of Avarosans her own Avarosan followers with a chilly splash and some pets and you end up with a good time.
7. Elise Her whole deck is spiders and it's glorious. Why can't all champs have that? I love how she mixes Noxus and SI to fit in her good support cards. SI Tellstones are also a perfect touch with spells cuz she's probably playing them with the dudes she brings over to Shadow Isles. Her power also compensates for the frail board and stuff dying often, which is fantastic.
8. Yuumi Another example of a fantastic and well-thought-through deck, with just the right amount of attach units and fantastic targets to attach them to, including a very good and versatile mix of keywords from items. She may not be top-tier in strength but damm is she well-designed in the sense of just feeling good to play in a way that still requires brains and pre-planning.
9. Leona Just like Diana, making all units have daybreak and including maindeck 4 cost Rahvun is exactly what she needed. The chonky stats and powers that make them even chonkier feels exactly right for Solari, stats rising like the sun.
10. Garen Unga bunga Demacia midrange go strike. Need I say more?
11. Illaoi Big muscled woman go smash with a gigantic tentacle. Need I say more?
12. Nidalee Clever Camouflage is another example of a fantastic card type I'd like to see more often, just like Captive Audience. She has her ambush cards, she has stuff that benefits from transforming, and most importantly she's got some of the wackiest and most fun star powers in whole PoC. Don't know who cooked these but consider letting them cook more cuz this is some serious gourmet sht.
13. Tahm Kench The ability to create ANY unit that got captured is so funny and wacky, I love it. The +1+1 from surviving damage is also fantastic as stuff has actual power now. I remember old Kench only boosted hp which resulted in stuff being like a 3/21 and struggling to close games. Great improvement.
14. Gwen Don't know what Undying and Attro are doing there, but everything besides those two cards is fantastic flavor-wise. She gets her free hallowed units, she snips, she wins. Don't mind Chronicler, she's just writing a detailed report of the party on the side.
I could go on and on about other nice ones like Kindred, Ekko, Veigar, Nami, Yasuo, Master Yi, Teemo, Poro King, Norra, and more, but what they all have in common is that their powers compensate for their weakness, reward their strengths, and their decks have "their" proper support cards for the most part. The ones that struggle have all powers that for example only reward but don't enable, like Nasus and Bard. Avoid that kind of design. Just please, quit the habit of throwing in budget replacements instead of champ's thematic cards, and re-consider adding that weird "throw-away" card many decks tend to have. You know, the expensive/weirdly useless one that sticks out like a sore thumb and always gets cut. Tortured Prodigy for Kindred, Yone for Jhin, Coastal Defender for Sett, Slippery Waverider for MF and Jack, Hive Herald for Kai'Sa, and so on. Starting decks only have so much space, so let them all be the good baseline, then let players draft the crappy ones if they want to. Also absolutely do consider replacing the cards I mentioned with things that are actually useful x) Fun is the purpose after all, and challenge should be provided through adventures, not intentional weakness.
This thread took me hours to complete and I didn't even touch on stuff like relic or adventure balance, but that's for another day and nowhere near as urgent. If you read through it all, I give a huge thank, and if you're a dev, I bow my head and sincerely say PLEASE and THANK YOU for the amazing game and all the time and effort spent on it, including the one spent on Reddit reading through stuff the community says. Also, do let me know your thoughts especially if you're a dev. Once again huge thank and I hope all this was useful. Now I need to go to sleep...
​

So with the reveal of the 28 volume cover with Kiyora; I'm curious what everybody think he's capable of and what he will do in this match with PXG vs Bastard to earn a spot on U20? (and just for the people who don't understand; characters from blue lock who appear on volume covers are expected to be in the official U20 roaster)
https://preview.redd.it/q65eviz5nblc1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=413f00bf64509fd7332b35f5e57589e1be74f16c

Overall Agreeableness: 20 (apparently I’m not very agreeable, ironically I disagree with this…)
Compassion: 31 (Yh I can’t really feel what other people feel, I understand it, but I don’t feel it)
Politeness: 16 (I have manners and don’t intend to be insensitive or rude, I think it’s more in terms of authority. If I think what your asking me to do is stupid or wrong, I won’t do it, especially if your unwilling explain why you want it done that way.
Conscientiousness: 10 (what can I say? I don’t really care. I did very badly in my grades, achieved what I needed to pass in all subjects and did very well in art. I drew a lot of things I wanted to draw and didn’t care about what the teacher wanted me to draw, or what methods she wanted me to use. Somehow I did very well in that subject despite actively doing what I wanted. I was never rude to her and we got on very well which I guess is what took the edge off of me not doing things like she wanted.)
Industriousness: 8 (“it is what it is” seems to be my motto. I’m very unorganised and can’t get into a routine. I procrastinate all the time.)
Orderliness: 20 (my room is always a mess and I don’t care. I don’t care or judge people who are the same, in fact I don’t judge people at all I don’t really get why others do.)
Extraversion: 43 (I’ve been told I’m very charismatic but I don’t think I am particularly. I don’t get anxiety or anything so I’m pretty comfortable around people. But I do get drained and I am comfortable being alone. Being around others is tiring. I always thought I was really introverted but it seems like I always do something when I’m asked so 43 is pretty accurate.)
Enthusiasm: 53 (Yh I can get excited about certain projects, motivation etc, no more than everyone else though. The description is pretty accurate.)
Assertiveness: 36 (yeah, I’ll put my ideas forward and if I can get away with it I’ll do my own thing. It depends how much I care about it. So unless it’s an art project I’m doing with others at uni, I don’t mind what happens or what gets decided.)
Neuroticism: 3 (yeah, no anxiety, I don’t really care what happens, and if something doesn’t go my way I just move on.)
Withdrawal: 10 (I’m not self conscious, I don’t get embarrassed etc etc, I don’t worry about things)
Volatility: 1 (there’s only so many ways I can say I don’t care. It’s like I’m always at a base line, I rarely feel happy or angry. I do feel them, just not often. And as you’d probably guess, I’m fine with that)
Openness: 91 (Bring it on, I’ll do anything. I really enjoy a lot of different hobbies and I love hearing about what other people find interesting. I don’t usually say no when opportunity is presented, I also don’t go out of my way to do things either.
Intellect: 79 (yeah I’d say that’s about right, who wouldn’t want to be considered high in intellect?. I don’t think I’m particularly clever, but I do enjoy a variety of different subjects. I’d say my intelligence and ability to understand is average , I just have a wide variety of things I find interesting.
Aesthetics: 93 (the descriptions very accurate for this one, in short I like looking at things, can’t always tell you why. It inspires me to draw, no idea why just does. But equally I don’t think becoming blind or loosing mobility in my hands would bother me so much, life goes on right?
I tried to give an insight into my own thoughts on my scores, just generally interested in what other people think. I recently talked to a friend and she told me I might have some disassociation disorder, which makes sense, would you think my test scores and thoughts reflect that? Should I go get tested? The fact that it doesn’t bother me makes me think I should, but then it doesn’t bother me, so it’s become a catch 22.
If you have any other opinions, about what I should strive for in a career, or anything else, go for it.
This is the ‘understandmyself.com’ test.

Hello everyone,
I'm looking for your advice here because I'm at my wit's end.
I am m26 and have recently started dating my partner w26.
We met a year ago at her workplace, and then in October I had the courage to ask her if we could do something. 1 month later we got together.
So far so good.
At first, of course, we were on cloud nine together. We addressed every conflict and every problem immediately and were actually very harmonious with each other.
Towards the end of December, the time had come and she had what she calls quite a down. She hardly ever got in touch, was very distant etc.
At first I was convinced that this was just her way of being. She is also taking a progestogen pill for medical reasons, which can result in things such as a breakdown, down phases and emotional unavailability.
After about 2 weeks we sat down together, talked about everything and then everything was fine again.
But about 2 weeks ago, the whole issue started all over again. Only this time it was worse.
Nevertheless, we went on a little trip to another city with my sister. She gets on very well with her. On this trip, she behaved as she always does with me. Holding hands here, kissing there, everything was normal.
When we dropped my sister off after the trip and we were in the car, I naturally asked her about the current situation. She told me that everything was simply too much for her at the moment and that she was overwhelmed with everything. According to her, this should affect the relationship. She is no longer at peace with herself and is completely dissatisfied with herself and doesn't know what to do, but she definitely has feelings for me.
Her job is currently so demanding and stressful that I don't think it will take much for her to burn out. In addition, she has a stressful family relationship and had to learn to cope on her own at an early age. She spends a lot of time alone and isolates herself. We then agreed to give her a week to just get her head back on straight.
But as is sometimes the case, this uncertainty really gets you down. You hardly have any contact during this time and are super distant. So I came up with the super clever idea of writing to her about 1-2 times a day. Without success. However, she kept in touch with my sister. Only sporadically, but still
1.5 weeks went by and we met up to talk to each other. Of course, I apologized for my spamming at first. She accepted that too. After a bit of small talk and laughter, we got down to business.
She was visibly nervous and barely managed to form a sentence. She told me that she could see how much this distance was getting me down. But she knows that in her current phase she's barely able to have a relationship and can't give me what I deserve or what I'm trying to give her. She doesn't want to be a burden and doesn't want to get in the way of my life. She doesn't know how she feels at the moment. Everything is uncertain for her. At the moment, she gets up in the morning, goes to work, comes home, eats and goes back to sleep. She has no energy or strength for anything. She feels tired and exhausted and overwhelmed by everything. Accordingly, she would suggest that we temporarily separate from each other so that when she's feeling better, we can get back together.
I immediately blocked this and said that this was out of the question. Together to the end or not at all according to the motto. I assured her that I had started to come to terms with this distance and that I would be there for her no matter what and that she could contact me at any time if anything happened.
She then said that she just didn't know when she would feel better again and what the result would be for our relationship and whether I would really be able to stand it.
We agreed on this "in limbo but still together". We hugged outside and said goodbye. I kissed her on the forehead and said that we could do it.
Let's move on to the present. I hardly get any signs of life from her. My sister and she are actually still in active contact. According to my sister, she comes home from work, watches TV and then goes to sleep.
She behaves very isolated, as I said she is overwhelmed by everything, doesn't talk to me, doesn't do anything and just keeps to herself. She seems very emotionally numb. She doesn't have a real support network either. She is an emotionally cold mother who only demands and doesn't give, but who has never seen her daughter as her favorite child. She has a few friends, but she rarely if ever talks to them about such issues.
Now my question is, in my eyes these are signs of depression and I no longer know how I should behave towards her or how I can help her.
She says that she can't have a relationship like this in her current situation. She doesn't respond to my messages and acts very distant. My sister and she also keep in touch less.
The fact is, we haven't broken up yet because I once told her I was prepared to bide my time.
I've just told her that we should have one last conversation to sort it out.
She's acting super distant and super cold.
It was never like that before. This behavior came from one day to the next.
Is this releationship doomed?
TL;DR! - I think my girlfriend is depressive. She isolates herself and hardly talks to me. I don't know what to do anymore. She keeps in touch with my sister, but that's it. She seems emotionally dull and exhausted by life

The movie review titled “The Surprisingly Christlike Call of Spiderman: No Way Home” discusses the 2021 action-adventure film Spiderman: No Way Home. This blockbuster superhero flick led millions of Americans to the theaters, connecting three generations of Spiderman fans. Spiderman: No Way Home tells the story of a recently-exposed Peter Parker, who must live his life with the whole world knowing his identity. When faced with the chance to make everyone forget, he makes a decision that opens up portals of both good and evil. He then embarks on a journey toward redemption and selfless love. This review discusses the implicit Christian messaging within the film and what inspiration we can take from the movie in our walk with Christ. It prompts deep thought in the reader as they reflect on the connections between Spiderman’s feats and our own spiritual journeys.
The First Media Key: Balance
The first media key, balance, guides us to look at media from all angles, helping us to form a mindset and attitude toward media. It is applied by careful thought and research, as well as praying for the cardinal virtue of temperance. Temperance is the “‘moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods,’” (CCC 1809). Balance is also applied in media by pursuing different perspectives and viewpoints.
Spiderman: No Way Home shows balance through its use of diversity - in both its appeals and messaging. First, the film broke “all kinds of box office records and resonated with fans young and old, appealing to a notably large audience (Angel 2022). From millennials who watched Toby Maguire’s rendition of Spiderman to Generation Z fans of Tom Holland’s Spiderman, No Way Home cleverly broadened its reach by incorporating all three film renditions of the comic book superhero (Toby Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and Tom Holland). In doing so, the film looks at Spiderman from three different angles, exploring different perspectives and personas of the character. No Way Home also shows balance in one of its messages: “No one is too far past atonement,” (Angel 2022). In the film, after bringing many Spiderman villains into his world, Peter learns that sending them back will kill them. Full of compassion, Peter asserts, “Everyone deserves a second chance,” (Angel 2022). In trying to free them of their wicked tendencies and causes of aggression, Peter takes a selfless approach, not solely based on his own opinions of them. He strives to see these villains as humans, with good existing inside of them.
It is important to note that the author is partially biased in his review of Spiderman: No Way Home. While the plot of the film itself is balanced, his own review is not so comprehensive. He shares his “childhood superhero allegiance” to Spiderman, and how watching No Way Home in theaters left “this millennial smiling from ear to ear,” (Angel 2022). This bias, however, does not ruin his review. Instead, it adds a personal element to make his review more human and emotional. In this way, Bobby Angel appeals to pathos and on the emotions of his readers who may also have a nostalgic connection to Spiderman.
The Second Media Key: Attitude Awareness
The second media key, attitude awareness, focuses on our roles as critics and duty to be aware of messaging in media. It is applied by searching for a media’s “underlying agenda” (Gan, pg. 47), as well as praying for the cardinal virtue of prudence. Prudence helps us to “apply moral principles to particular cases without error” and “guides the judgment of conscience,” (CCC 1806). In application to media, prudence helps us to discern the intent of a media and if the message is in line with our morals.
Spiderman: No Way Home presents many positive messages, which, as analyzed by Bobby Angel in the article, have Christian undertones and connections. As the film tells a redemption story, it poses the idea that Peter Parker is “walking his own via dolorosa, his own way of the Cross,” (Angel 2022). In this journey, Peter must face the consequences of his selfish and rash decisions, learn to control his rage, and change his attitude from one of selfishness to one of selflessness. This attitude of selflessness is beautifully exemplified through his Aunt May, who constantly pushes him toward good. She reminds him, “This is what we do. We help people,” (Angel 2022). Even in the midst of being misunderstood and angry, Peter is encouraged to love selflessly. This redemption story, as all others, “is rooted in the biblically true story of our God, who ‘loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins,’(1 John 4:10)” (Angel 2022).
The Third Media Key: The Dignity of the Human Person
The third media key, dignity of the human person, seeks to make man “more worthy of man” by reflecting, upholding, and enhancing human dignity (Gan, pg. 52). It is applied by praying for the cardinal virtue of justice, which consists in the “constant and firm will to give their due to God and neighbor,” (CCC 1807). In viewing media, we must look to see that justice is present, “respecting the rights of each and establishing… the harmony that promotes equity with regard to persons and to the common good,” (CCC 1807).
As children of God, we all have innate and irrevocable dignity. Oftentimes, though, we may doubt our dignity, especially in times of sorrow or humiliation. Peter Parker experiences these moments to the full in Spiderman: No Way Home, and begins to doubt his worth. However, he is affirmed and uplifted by his friends, who, by their words, uphold his dignity and worth. They “call him out of himself and back to his mission of being a bringing of the good,” (Angel 2022). In reminding Peter of his purpose, they remind him of his worth. Just as Peter’s friends tell him, we have gifts. We have power. “And with great power, there must also come great responsibility” (Angel 2022).
The Fourth Media Key: Truth-Filled
The fourth media key tells us that media should be filled with truth or about God and the human person (Gan, pg, 68). In other words, media should not lie. This key is applied by praying the cardinal virtue of fortitude, which “ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of good,” (CCC 1808). With fortitude, we must seek the “good”- the truth - in media and also be aware of the lies that may be present.
Through underlying Christian messaging, Spiderman: No Way Home is full of truth for us to contemplate and act on. In his article, Bobby Angel quotes Fr. Billy Swan’s strategies of the devil to connect to the story. This “deception, division, diversion, and discouragement”, all of which Peter experiences in the film, are tactics to pull us away from God (Angel 2022). This tempts us to run away from our calling such as the devil tempted Jonah to “opt out for an easier life and conform to the opinion of the crowds,” (Angel 2022). Although implicit, No Way Home reflects this truth as it connects to the spiritual warfare that Christians face. This connection, along with many others in the film, share truths about Christian life and teachings of the Church.
The Fifth Media Key: Inspiring
The fifth media key tells us that media should inspire us to be good, and, thus, lead us to Heaven. This key is applied by researching the “aim” of a particular piece of media, as well as applying the theological virtue of hope. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, hope is the virtue in which “we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness,” (CCC 1817). Hope can inspire us, and media should do the same.
With great power comes great responsibility. You don’t need to be a fan of Spiderman to know that famous quote. Still, that motto is an intrinsic part of the character of Spiderman and has uplifted fans of the franchise for decades. It is a reminder of the purpose we all face, “to step forward into greatness because we are literally made for such a task, to go out of ourselves and love responsibly, as a gift for others,” (Angel 2022). With our individual vocations, we are called to give of ourselves, selflessly, in love. While not saying this word for word, No Way Home reminds us of this. Spiderman’s motto reminds us of this, that we must “not grow weary in well-doing” (Gal 6:9), no matter what hardship we face (Angel 2022).
The Sixth Media Key: Skillfully Developed
The sixth media key is essentially how well-made a piece of media is. Using this key, we look to the technical standards of media, as scrutinized by critics and popular culture. This key is applied by looking at online reviews and praying for the theological virtue of faith. In faith, “‘man freely commits his entire self to God’... and seeks to know and do God’s will,” (CCC 1814). Faith is important in analyzing and creating media, as we should see how well a piece of media is executed while looking to God for guidance.
As a blockbuster MCU film released in 2021, it’s safe to say that Spiderman: No Way Home is skillfully developed. With cutting edge graphics and CGI, powerful performances from actors, and clever script writing, it’s easy to see the pure talent and hard work that went into developing the film when watching it. However, a skillfully developed film goes beyond such elements that we can initially see. With research, a skillfully developed film echoes skillfully developed films of the past, reflecting and honoring the creativity of those who came before us. In his review, Bobby Angel makes the connection between No Way Home’s redemption story plot and other films of similar messaging. He writes, “Literary and cinematic echoes of this undeserved redemption reverberate from… Luke Skywalker redeeming his father to Frodo Baggins staying his blade against the undeserving Gollum,” (Angel 2022). Whether intentional or not, Spiderman: No Way Home pays homage to such iconic films, and honors them in telling a story with the same powerful messaging of personal redemption. Through this thoughtful element and many more, the film is skillfully developed upon analysis.
The Seventh Media Key: Motivated by and Relevant to Experience
The seventh and final media key is “motivated by and relevant to experience”. This key tells us that media should be “rooted in the realities of our world” and should “reflect the human condition” (Gan 116). In other words, we should relate to the content we consume, as shown through the emotions and actions of the characters on the screen. The seventh media key is applied through the virtue of charity, in which we “demand beneficence and fraternal correction”, (CCC 1829).
Peter Parker, though a superhero, is a relatable character, especially shown through his vulnerability. In this film, Peter Parker is “betrayed, enraged, and thus fully unleashed,” (Angel 2022). As humans, we are imperfect, and sometimes can reach our breaking points. Like Peter, we can be “tempted to throw in the towel completely” (Angel 2022). As such, we can all identify with anger that can result, when “we’ve lost control, when our loved ones are hurting, or when all our good intentions and deeds end up making things worse,” (Angel 2022). Peter’s unleashed anger is relevant to the anger we feel in such devastating situations, which are (unfortunately) part of human experience. When we see Peter struggling on screen, fully vulnerable in his anger and desperation, we can see ourselves, reminded of the raw humanity we all possess and our own weaknesses.
Sources:
https://www.wordonfire.org/articles/fellows/the-surprisingly-christlike-call-of-spider-man-no-way-home/

I’ve been a busy, evil little bee the past few months. I apologize for the long post, but the TLDR ranking summary is available at the end.
Once again, I’ve rated each book by prose, narrative (character development & unique plot elements), pace, and fear factor. I tried to come up with consistent criteria to judge each category by; these criteria are listed at the end of this post.
Hopefully, this thread will help you find some new titles you may enjoy. There are a few very LIGHT spoilers redacted in the summaries (like this)—mostly to help readers get a taste of some of the more interesting plot points. Please note also that the “Horror Elements” is a hybrid of sub-genre labels and common trigger warnings (eg. sexual violence & animal violence). This is NOT an exhaustive list!
My prior 24 book review is linked HERE.
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1. Last Days – by Adam Neville

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• Prose: 8/10
• Narrative: 8/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 10/10

Horror Elements: paranormal haunting, cults, ghosts, monsters, derelict settings, descent into madness
It's the only book which has ever made me afraid of the dark. If you enjoy atmospheric horror—reading in a quiet room, with the lights turned down, soaking in creepy images—this is the one for you. The story follows the trail of two skeptical filmmakers crafting a documentary about a religious cult from the 1970s. Neville’s impressive knowledge of videography puts you directly behind the camera lens of his hero—unspooling nightmare images which come creeping back into your dreams. It’s an awesome descent into madness story, and features some of the best written horror chapters I’ve ever read. The only problem with this book is the awkward pacing. The long monologue interviews really shattered the tension for me.
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2. Ancient Sorceries and Other Weird Stories - By Algernon Blackwood

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• Prose: 7/10
• Narrative 8/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror elements: Cosmic horror, hauntings, monsters, witches
The OG you’ve never heard of, Blackwood’s stories from the early 1900s became a major influence for Lovecraft and the burgeoning genre of “weird” writing. This collection of short tales still reads well by modern standards. Perhaps his most famous piece, “The Willows” is an unsettling, atmospheric tale of two river explorers stranded on an island among otherworldly visitors. “The Wendigo” is his second most recognizable piece. Both stories can be found online for free (Willow & Wendigo).
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3. Tender is the Flesh – by Agustina Bazterrica

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• Prose: 9/10
• Narrative: 10/10
• Pace: 9/10
• Fear Factor: 8/10

Horror elements: cannibalism, sexual violence, body horror, animal cruelty (towards humans and non-humans)
At last, a book that horror-lit nerds can really sink our teeth into. I’m very much of the opinion that this novel is a work of art and a masterclass of emotional manipulation. I think this book gets an unfair rep as an "extreme" horror due to its gut-wrenching depictions of a human slaughterhouse. And yeah, some of those passages were hard to stomach. But the power of the book is not due to its willingness to cross those shocking boundaries, but rather, in the way that Bazterrica plays with your emotions. I delve into this idea further in my full review, HERE.
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4. What Moves the Dead – by T Kingfisher

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• Prose: 8/10
• Narrative: 7/10
• Pace: 7/10
• Fear Factor: 4/10

Horror elements: Body horror, Gothic horror, Historical Horror, Hauntings
This book won’t scare you, but it’ll likely entertain you. Kingfisher offers a new take on Poe’s “The Fall of the House of Usher” in this brief, cheeky novel. The narrator is a nonbinary gender—an interesting element to introduce to this historical setting—and their cheerful disposition provides an enjoyable contrast to the melancholic mood of the story. The chapters are short. There’s a strong Gothic backdrop. I’m not spoiling anything not available on the cover by noting there’s a strong “fungal” component to the tale, for all of you “Last of Us” fans. You’ll find nothing terrifying in this novel, but if you’re a sucker for Poe’s classic, you’ll enjoy Kingfisher’s little homage.
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5. The Hacienda – Isabel Canas

• Prose: 6/10
• Narrative: 6/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 3/10

Horror elements: Haunted house, Gothic horror, paranormal horror
Unfortunately, this one had a bit of a cheesy telenovela vibe to it. This book is really a “forbidden romance” story which happens to be set in a haunted hacienda in Mexico. For the seasoned horror reader, the plot felt very predictable. Canas relies on the same tired tropes of “seeing shadows, slamming doors, and cold drafts coming from the cellar.” There's a strong Gothic flavor to the setting which may appeal to certain readers. The historical setting alone saved my narrative marks from a 3 or 4, as I learned a little something about Mexican history.
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6. Boys in the Valley – By Philip Fracassi

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• Prose: 7/10
• Narrative: 6/10
• Pace: 9/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror elements: religious horror, historical horror, body horror, creepy kids
This horror novel is a classic “Good vs Evil” tale set in a boys’ Catholic orphanage in the early 1900s. Its choice of isolated setting—trapped in a lonely winter valley—provides the novel’s greatest strength. The writing is simple and brisk, and the second half reads like a real airport thriller. The biggest drawback for me was the book's reliance on old Catholic tropes. Fracassi leans heavily on the same old Catholic doctrines of “good” and “evil," where characters are motivated simply by virtue of the "side" they're on. I wanted a little more complexity and daring-do in a modern age possession story. But if you find creepy kids unsettling, or you’re looking for some “Exorcist” vibes, this book should still scratch that itch.
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7. “Night Shift” – by Stephen King (Short story collection)

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• Prose: 7/10
• Narrative: 9/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear Factor: 7/10

Horror elements: Monsters, cosmic horror, serial killers, domestic violence
“Night Shift” was published in 1978, so there’s a lot of vintage King in here. The men are gruff and prone to drinking, and the women are bickering housewives or walleyed love interests. Take it for what it is, but if you’re a King fan, you’ll still appreciate the creativity crackling off the typewriter here. My favorite piece was “Children of the Corn,” which is the closest thing I’ve ever read to a perfectly-crafted short horror story. I also enjoyed “Jerusalem’s Lot,” “The Boogeyman,” and “One for the Road”—an epilogue offshoot to Salem’s Lot. Overall, this book is just great vintage pulp horror from one of the masters.
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8. Fevre Dream – by George RR Martin

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• Prose: 9/10
• Narrative: 8/10
• Pace: 5/10
• Fear Factor: 5/10

Horror elements: Vampirism, historical horror, slavery (racial violence, strong racial language)
George RR Martin weaves the tale of an unlikely friendship aboard a Mississippi steamship in the 1850s. It’s a well-researched novel for lovers of American history, particularly the Antebellum South and the riverboat scene. Fans of “The Heart of Darkness” (and “Apocalypse Now”) will undoubtably see many parallels in the setting and storyline. The vampiric elements will satisfy—but not surprise—lovers of that genre. Be warned, though: this ain’t no action thriller. The plot itself is extremely slow and plodding. The strength of the novel lies in its characters—particularly the protagonist and the villain, who are splendidly written.
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9. World War Z – By Max Brooks

• Prose: 9/10
• Narrative: 10/10
• Pace: 10/10
• Fear Factor: 8/10

Horror elements: Zombies, zombies, zombies!
What an absolute banger! This brilliant book is presented as an oral history of the “Zombie Wars,” following a worldwide outbreak of a deadly virus. Each chapter is presented from the perspective of a different survivor around the world. The author weaves micro and macro perspectives of the zombie war, putting us in the shoes of a diverse cast of characters, from military commanders to terrified teenagers. All of the forty narrative voices are nailed pitch-perfectly by Brooks. Even though this is a “survivalist document,” there’s still plenty of heart-pounding zombie horror in here.
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10. This Book is Full of Spiders – by David Wong (penname for Jason Pargin)

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• Prose: 6/10
• Narrative: 7/10
• Pace: 10/10
• Fear Factor: 7/10

Horror elements: splatterpunk, monsters, bugs, aliens, body horror
Wong launched his writing career as an internet blog serialist. His motto seems to be “give the Internet what it wants.” “Spiders” is written as a sequel to the cult classic “John Dies in the End.” It delivers the same pulp-horror punch and dark comedy as its predecessor. If you’re squeamish about squiggly parasites and spiders, believe me—he GOES there. It’s an action-packed book with gag humor galore. The pace of the story is frenetic, almost ridiculous. If you’re looking for “Bill and Ted bareknuckle brawl with monsters,” grab this one.
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11. Cursed Bunny – by Bora Chung (translated by Anton Hur)

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• Prose: 8/10 (translated version)
• Narrative: 8/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear Factor: 7/10

Horror elements: body horror, animal cruelty, child cruelty, haunted houses, Fem-centric horror
This strange collection of short stories is gathered from a decade of writing by Korean-born author Bora Chung. From her bio, we learn that Chung is also a Russian literary scholar, and her writing leans into Slavic (and Korean) fable culture. You can expect Kakfaesque characters, cruel twists of fate, and splashes of nasty body horror. At least two of her stories are Fem-centric body horror. Her other stories feature cursed objects, haunted homes, and twisted animal fables. My favorite piece was “Scars”, a monster-themed retelling of several classic stories (omitted for spoilers). This novel would be a great book club selection.
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12. North American Lake Monsters – By Nathan Ballingrud

• Prose: 10/10
• Narrative: 10/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear factor: 7/10

Horror elements: body horror, monsters, derelict settings, vampirism, racial violence, white nationalism, depression/mental health, domestic violence, suicide
I consider Nathan Ballingrud to be one of the best horror writers around (His short story collection “Wounds” was my top-ranking horror read of 2023.) Here in “Lake Monsters,” Ballingrud presents dark vignettes in the lives of a few unhappy Americans. These short stories are centered mostly in post-Katrina New Orleans. The supernatural elements are present in the backdrop, while disgruntled humans take center stage. My highlights were “The Crevasse,” with its strong vibes from At The Mountains of Madness. I also enjoyed “The Good Husband,” an emotionally devastating tale of domestic tragedy. Most of these stories end very abruptly—like a sucker punch in the gut—and some readers may not like this style. However, if you’re looking for original writing about humanity’s darker impulses, this is the one for you.
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13. The Devil Takes You Home – by Gabino Iglesias

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• Prose: 10/10
• Narrative: 10/10
• Pace: 9/10
• Fear Factor: 8/10

Horror elements: religious horror, supernatural horror, body horror, witchcraft, descent into madness
Gabino’s novel is modern noir, it's bleak as hell, and it's masterfully written. The story follows a heartbroken father-turned-hitman, looking to cash out on one last score. What begins as a simple hit job evolves into a road trip into the dark heart of Mexico, filled with religious obscenity, gang violence, and magical realism. The novel’s first-person narrative plants you in the head of the MC, slipping deeper into madness. Some readers may not like the "irrationality" of the horror here, but that's magical realism for you.
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14. Those Across the River – by Christopher Buehlman

• Prose: 10/10
• Narrative: 9/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror elements: Monsters, racial violence, World War 1 flashbacks
Buehlman is an award-winning poet and playwright. His novel Between Two Fires is a runaway favorite on this subreddit. Those Across the River has a more subdued tone, and is far less nightmarish and bloody than BTF, but it still rocks! The novel takes place during the Great Depression, as a young, progressive couple settles into a family estate in sleepy Georgia. The couple befriends the townsfolk and seek to confront a strange danger lurking “just beyond the river.” The book is a slow burn, but there’s enough depth to Buehlman’s writing to make it a quick read. The major female character is written admirably. Fans of Salems’ Lot will enjoy the small-town feel in this book.
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15. Things We Lost in the Fire – by Mariana Enriquez (translated by Megan McDowell)

• Prose: 7/10
• Narrative: 7/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear Factor: 7/10

Horror elements: political & historical violence, torture, house haunting, Gothic, Fem-centric
For lovers of foreign horror, Enriquez presents this short-story collection about life in the shadow of Argentina’s military dictatorship. Enriquez’s writing is described as “Gothic horror meets magical realism,” with a bent of sharp social criticism. Her stories center on disillusioned youth, unhappy marriages, poverty, and drugs. Every story is told from the female perspective (…and men are not portrayed in a flattering light). Not every piece clicked for me, but my favorites were “No Flesh Over Our Bones,” “Adela’s House,” and “Under the Black Water.” If you pick this one up, I recommend starting with the translator’s note at the end for some important context.
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16. The Devil of Nanking – By Mo Hayder

• Prose: 9/10
• Narrative: 8/10
• Pace: 7/10
• Fear Factor: 7/10

Horror elements: Wartime atrocities, body horror, sexual violence
The premise is simple: an obsessed Englishwoman seeks to unravel some awful secret which happened during the rape of Nanking. What exactly happened—and why she wants to know—will keep you turning through the pages of this long, elegant thriller. This one is a slow burn, with plenty of clever hooks to keep you reading. Hayder takes you back and forth from modern Toyka to old Nanking, with an intriguing cast of characters and colorful depictions of both cities. This book is for readers who love a slow, dark journey toward something horrible. The ending may not meet all of your expectations, but the trip is still well worth it.
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17. A Song for Unraveling the World – by Brian Evenson

• Prose: 7/10
• Narrative: 8/10
• Pace: 9/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror elements: Just about everything
This one is for fans of horror magazines and flash fiction. All of Evenson’s 21 stories in here are reprinted from almost as many different publications. The writing is trimmed down to fit those magazine word counts—so expect a tradeoff of complexity for quick pace. You’ll read creepy tales about space travel, haunted houses, body snatchers, obsessive weirdos, hungry monsters, and parallel realities. Evenson’s creativity is truly impressive. My favorites were “Leaking Out,” “The Tower,” and “The Hole.”
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18. Song of Kali – by Dan Simmons

• Prose: 10/10
• Narrative: 9/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 8/10

Horror elements: religious cults, urban decay, body horror
This was Simmons’ first novel, published in 1985, and I consider it a “classic” in the horror genre. The story follows an American writer, who sets out with his wife and infant daughter to discover the lost work of an Indian poet. They journey into the heart of Calcutta, a city depicted as modern day Gomorrah—a claustrophobic den of squalor and violence. In this suffocating landscape, Simons weaves a dark tale of the supernatural, drawing upon Indian folklore and the religion of Kali, the Hindu goddess of death.
There are strong themes of colonialism, racism, and bigotry, which tie directly into the horror, but leave plenty of room for controversy. The language can be blatantly racist at times. Still, the novel creates a mood of dread and foreboding, the likes of which I haven’t found anywhere else.
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19. Swift to Chase – by Laird Barron

• Prose: 10/10
• Narrative: 10/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear factor: 8/10

Horror elements: cosmic horror, monsters, slasher killers, supernatural horror
In “Swift to Chase,” Barron treats us to twelve short stories interwoven through the dark heart of Alaska. Barron uses a variety of narrative tricks to play with our expectations, as he weaves together many bloody threads from one story to the next. My highlights include “Frontier Death Song,” in which a former Iditarod racer is on the run from a bloodthirsty demon. I also enjoyed “The Worms Crawl In," cool homage to Barker's Rawhead Rex. But the knockout piece for me was definitely “Ears Prick Up.” In this sci-fi/horror hybrid, Laird treats us to the incredible tale of a bionic warhound helping his human master overthrow an empire. The writing impressed me enough to write a separate review of that story HERE. If you like extremely complex and clever narratives—or bloody, cosmic horror—grab this collection.
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20. Wraiths of the Broken Land - by S. Craig Zahier

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• Prose: 3/10
• Narrative: 7/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror elements: Western/spaghetti horror, sexual slavery, rape, animal cruelty, body horror
This popular “pulp horror” novel came highly recommended to me at the Buckets of Blood bookshop in Chicago. The story follows a motley group of vigilantes in the early 1900s, racing through the badlands to rescue two kidnapped sisters. These characters are written very much in the style of Quentin Tarantino--colorfully named and blindly vengeful. (FYI: rumor has it that Ridley Scott is considering a movie adaptation.) Unfortunately, Zahier's writing style did not click at all with me. There are long run-on sentences, confusing dialogue tags, and a ridiculous use of “ten dollar” words. The prose really strained my patience.
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21. The Exorcist – by William Blatty

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• Prose: 8/10
• Narrative: 9/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor: 9/10

Horror elements: Demonic possession, child abuse
This is my first foray into The Exorcist, and it really stands the test of time. Blatty’s “definitive edition” includes a new prologue and some rewrites from the 1971 original publication. The novel moves more slowly than I expected, but there’s real power in this deliberate pacing. Blatty carefully knocks down every logical argument against demonic possession. The way he captures the demon’s voice is incredible. And the defilement of poor little Regan is horrifying. I truly felt the blasphemy of this story in a visceral way.
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22. Fantasticland – by Mike Bockoven

• Prose: 8/10
• Narrative: 9/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror Elements: tribalism, urban-decay, post-apocalyptic (pseudo)
Think “Lord of the Flies” in Disneyland. In Bockoven’s novel, a group of mostly high-school kids are trapped inside an amusement park after Hurricane Sadie devastates Florida. These survivors form into five “tribes,” which gradually descend into butchering and madness. The narrative is told through a series of survivor interviews (very similar to World War Z). The premise is surprisingly believable, and Bockoven’s writing style very easy to digest. I’d hesitate to say the book will scare you, but it’s an entertaining new take on the “post-apocalyptic” genre.
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23. The Cipher, By Kathe Koja

• Prose: 8/10
• Narrative: 5/10
• Pace: 6/10
• Fear Factor 6/10

Horror elements: dimensional portals, domestic violence, avante-garde horror, transformation
Koja’s novel won a lot of praise in 1991 as a “genre-bending” avant-garde work of literature. I’ll readily admit that Koja’s writing stye is unique—a kind of Kerouac/Hunter Thompson gonzo vibe, at times stream of consciousness—which may be refreshing or tedious to the reader. But the plot is pretty sparse. A pair of deadbeats find a shimmering “Funhole” inside their apartment building. We never learn much about this “funhole,” other than the concept that it’s some type of portal into another dimension (...and clearly a metaphor for *insert whatever concept you want*). Most of the conflict in the novel centers around the toxic relationship of the main characters. I found them all very irritating. It was just an emotionally exhausting book for me.
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24. The Reformatory, by Tananadrive Due

• Prose: 9/10
• Narrative: 7/10
• Pace: 7/10
• Fear Factor: 5/10

Horror elements: Historical fiction; Jim Crow racism/segregation; paranormal; child abuse
This book deserves its high praise as a well-written historical novel about the Jim Crow Era. The author tells the heartfelt story of a young black boy wrongfully imprisoned in a juvenile reformatory in Florida. I couldn't help but see many influences from Stephen King, with the major focus on character building, the reformatory/prison setting, the familiar villains (racists, religious bigots, and prison wardens), and the “shining” sense of children. Like many of King’s books, this one is very, very long, and the plot moves slowly. A dark sense of dread is baked into the racial tension in this book.
As a work of literature, the novel sings. I just wish Due had pushed the envelope even further. The horror hound in me wanted her to go a lot darker, a lot meaner, more ghoulish, and less predictable with her story.
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25. The Lesser Dead – By Christopher Buelhman

• Prose: 10/10
• Narrative: 9/10
• Pace: 8/10
• Fear Factor: 6/10

Horror elements: Vampirism, historical horror, body horror, creepy kids
Buelhman scores a hat-trick with his third impressively-written horror novel. Here in “The Lesser Dead,” we follow the story of a young Jewish boy from New York City, who lives among the underground “vagabonds” of vampires. The storyline alternates between the 1930’s (his childhood), and 1970’s (“modern times.”) The book won’t “horrify” you, but there are a few wincing moments of violence. The writing was just so cheeky and entertaining, I couldn't put this down. Buehlman takes all the old vampire tropes and gives them a fresh twist, breathing new life into this old genre.
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Judging Criteria:
Prose: I judge horror by the same standards as any other form of literature. I’m looking for strong prose, a unique voice, and compelling dialogue. I don’t discriminate against narrative styles. A strong, simple narrative voice (eg. Buehlman, Bazterrica, Due) is just as compelling to me as elegant, flowery prose (eg. Langan, Gabino, Barron).
Narrative: I’m looking for believable and flawed characters, trapped in a unique and unpredictable circumstances. Horror is fantasy—I want to see raw imagination. There’s no reason to recycle old tropes and plotlines. If I can predict the plot halfway through the book, I’m going to be sorely disappointed.
Pace: Simply put, is it a page-turner? Does the second act escalate the tension? Does the author know when to finish the novel?
Fear Factor: The most common theme I’ve found in my “scariest” horror is 1.) unpredictability and 2.) exploiting a sense of vulnerability. The quality of writing is also important.
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TLDR: Summary – The Highest Cumulative Scores of 50 books I’ve read in the past year (i.e, most “well rounded” horror). Combining both my review threads…

1. Wounds: Six Tales from the Border of Hell (39/40)
2. The Devil Takes You Home (37/40)
3. World War Z (37/40)
4. Tender is the Flesh (36/40)
5. Swift to Chase (36/40)
6. NOS4A2 (36/40)
7. North American Lake Monsters (35/40)
8. A Heart-Shaped Box (34/40)
9. A Short Stay in Hell (34/40)
10. Between Two Fires (34/40)

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Most frightening/disturbing of the year (i.e. highest Fear Factor Rating):

1. Last Days (Neville) (10/10)
2. A Short Stay in Hell (10/10)
3. The Exorcist (9/10)
4. Wounds (9/10)
5. The Hellbound Heart (8/10)
6. Tender is the Flesh (8/10)
7. Song of Kali (8/10)
8. Swift to Chase (8/10)
9. NOS4A2 (8/10)
10. The Troop (8/10)

Hello everyone,
I'm looking for your advice here because I'm at my wit's end.
I am m26 and have recently started dating my partner w26.
We met a year ago at her workplace, and then in October I had the courage to ask her if we could do something. 1 month later we got together.
So far so good.
At first, of course, we were on cloud nine together. We addressed every conflict and every problem immediately and were actually very harmonious with each other.
Towards the end of December, the time had come and she had what she calls quite a down. She hardly ever got in touch, was very distant etc.
At first I was convinced that this was just her way of being. She is also taking a progestogen pill for medical reasons, which can result in things such as a breakdown, down phases and emotional unavailability.
After about 2 weeks we sat down together, talked about everything and then everything was fine again.
But about 2 weeks ago, the whole issue started all over again. Only this time it was worse.
Nevertheless, we went on a little trip to another city with my sister. She gets on very well with her. On this trip, she behaved as she always does with me. Holding hands here, kissing there, everything was normal.
When we dropped my sister off after the trip and we were in the car, I naturally asked her about the current situation. She told me that everything was simply too much for her at the moment and that she was overwhelmed with everything. According to her, this should affect the relationship. She is no longer at peace with herself and is completely dissatisfied with herself and doesn't know what to do, but she definitely has feelings for me.
Her job is currently so demanding and stressful that I don't think it will take much for her to burn out. In addition, she has a stressful family relationship and had to learn to cope on her own at an early age. She spends a lot of time alone and isolates herself. We then agreed to give her a week to just get her head back on straight.
But as is sometimes the case, this uncertainty really gets you down. You hardly have any contact during this time and are super distant. So I came up with the super clever idea of writing to her about 1-2 times a day. Without success. However, she kept in touch with my sister. Only sporadically, but still
1.5 weeks went by and we met up to talk to each other. Of course, I apologized for my spamming at first. She accepted that too. After a bit of small talk and laughter, we got down to business.
She was visibly nervous and barely managed to form a sentence. She told me that she could see how much this distance was getting me down. But she knows that in her current phase she's barely able to have a relationship and can't give me what I deserve or what I'm trying to give her. She doesn't want to be a burden and doesn't want to get in the way of my life. She doesn't know how she feels at the moment. Everything is uncertain for her. At the moment, she gets up in the morning, goes to work, comes home, eats and goes back to sleep. She has no energy or strength for anything. She feels tired and exhausted and overwhelmed by everything. Accordingly, she would suggest that we temporarily separate from each other so that when she's feeling better, we can get back together.
I immediately blocked this and said that this was out of the question. Together to the end or not at all according to the motto. I assured her that I had started to come to terms with this distance and that I would be there for her no matter what and that she could contact me at any time if anything happened.
She then said that she just didn't know when she would feel better again and what the result would be for our relationship and whether I would really be able to stand it.
We agreed on this "in limbo but still together". We hugged outside and said goodbye. I kissed her on the forehead and said that we could do it.
Let's move on to the present. I hardly get any signs of life from her. My sister and she are actually still in active contact. According to my sister, she comes home from work, watches TV and then goes to sleep.
She behaves very isolated, as I said she is overwhelmed by everything, doesn't talk to me, doesn't do anything and just keeps to herself. She seems very emotionally numb. She doesn't have a real support network either. She is an emotionally cold mother who only demands and doesn't give, but who has never seen her daughter as her favorite child. She has a few friends, but she rarely if ever talks to them about such issues.
Now my question is, in my eyes these are signs of depression and I no longer know how I should behave towards her or how I can help her. We currently have no contact because she doesn't answer me. Do any of you have any ideas?
TL;DR! - I think my girlfriend is depressive. She isolates herself and hardly talks to me. I don't know what to do anymore. She keeps in touch with my sister, but that's it. She seems emotionally dull and exhausted by life

WritingPrompts: Most departments of the Government have lesser known branches that operate almost as an afterthought. Having been around since WWII you are a newly hired member of the Department of Conspiracy.
Sasha hurried into the sprawling entrance hall, stepping across a bronze seal embedded into the ground. Craning her head to read the writing on the side, she could see that surrounding the image of an eagle holding a magnifying glass in one claw and a bundle of crimson thread in another, the motto around it read ’To eliminate the impossible and protect against the improbable.’
“I must say you're going to get quite a bit of attention as the new inductee,” came the voice of Charlotte, echoing across the otherwise almost empty space. She had been the one who first recruited Sasha some months ago, offering the position in what had then only been called the D.O.C. in correspondences.
Sasha was never one to let a good mystery go unsolved, but despite all of her searching the closest she could find was that it might be an acronym for the Department of Commerce. She never really had a head for economics, always seeing it as a numbers game that never quite added up, and something that tended to make her want to pick apart the system rather than join an organization intent on just upholding it.
But something about the way that Charlotte had talked with her, the tone she used and how cagey she had been about details of the organization, had lead Sasha to be willing to set aside her initial guesses and see where this thread headed.
Now she could see that while the placard outside simply said “D.O.C.” again, within the words carved into the granite threshold read ”Department of Conspiracies.”
“How come I've never heard of this department?” she asked Charlotte, and the older woman gave her a conspiratorial wink.
“Why, the easiest way to catch someone in the act is if they don't even know they should be covering their tracks. We generally make a point not to go around announcing ourselves. It can't be avoided sometimes, but we were aware of the phenomena I believe now called the ‘Streisand Effect’, and knew that if and when our name does leak, we ensure nobody thinks there's something deeper to uncover or something we're trying to hide. We don't become the subject of interest to even a single news cycle, and fall out of mention by the time the next cycle lands.”
Sasha had walked over to a wall showing the heads of the department. The most recent dozen or so were all photographs, but before that were a pair of daguerreotypes and a single oil painting.
Sasha squinted with suspicion at the older pictures. “I thought you mentioned that your department was founded during World War II?” she said, “he number is here are mid 1800s.”
Charlotte not approvingly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Good eye. The department was formerly commissioned at the end of World War II, but we’ve been present, if uncoordinated and uncollected, since the Lincoln administration.
“Originally we were founded off of what he affectionately called ‘Foot-pads and busy-bodies’, the majority of our ranks made from ex-Pinkertons who were more interested in uncovering and solving crimes than breaking up unions. From there we assisted other departments, usually one or two personnel in charge of something along the lines of breaking cryptography, forensic analysis, social psychology, or something somewhere in between.
“Eisenhower was the one to finally make us an official singular group. He had been concerned about the possibility of a fourth member of the Axis powers, something mentioned in a scant handful of correspondences between Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan.”
As they continued walking down the halls, Sasha's head was on a swivel, peering into windows in large double doors and trying to absorb everything she could about what she saw. Some of the places looked more like archeology labs than office spaces, while others were filled with cubicles that looked so mundane she would have thought she had simply stepped back into the mid-90s instead.
Charlotte chuckled. “Turns out that that whole fear was spreading from some consistent mistranslations of the letters coming out of the Japanese embassy, something we traced back to a government translator we had hired who had grossly overstated their ability to understand Japanese kanji. While such a underwhelming outcome might have normally put the future of our department in peril, in the process we would uncover an actual and significant conspiracy and thwarted the Eisenhower assassination.”
“The Eisenhower assassination,” said Sasha with a frown. “But he wasn’t assassinated?”
“You're welcome,” said Charlotte, grinning back. “Yes, there were some powerful forces that were trying to silence him before his farewell address: some powerful supporters of the military industrial complex that he was about to warn against.”
Sasha whistled, nodding and understanding. “I've definitely been there,” she said ruefully, and Charlotte placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“That's actually why we reached out to you: because you're not afraid to follow a thread, wherever it may lead.”
Sasha had been working for the local newspaper for her hometown in Ohio, barely twenty thousand people and too far away from any of the big cities to catch much notice there. But a few people had complained of some construction work that always seemed to be going on on the roads on the secondary arterial roads around town, and Sasha, wanting to put her journalism degree to good use, began investigating.
What had begun as a simple local piece on road work and timelines soon became a web of political bribes from construction contractors, misappropriate taxpayer funds, inappropriate and in some cases borderline illegal bids that were awarded, and all-in-all a gross mismanagement of funds and responsibilities; one of the lead town council members was being enriched through his consulting with the very same construction company he was repeatedly making work for and awarding contracts to in his official political position.
It caused quite a stir, and there were further follow-up pieces that Sasha began to work on, highlighting how this tied back to state-level funding, and a number of suspicious donations that seem to be the reason why the government bodies that normally would have caught this sort of financial shuffling were seemingly turning a blind eye.
But then her editor had called her in, telling her to kill the story and let sleeping dogs lie. It rankled her, but at the same time she could see the look of fear in his eyes. The editor had three kids, only one of them grown enough that they were about to head off to college themselves, and whoever had spooked him had clearly been threatening, not asking.
So she saved the file to a back document, try to ignore the cars she felt like she saw more often than others, the headlights she sometimes saw on normally-abandoned highways as she headed home some evenings, and what should have been her first big break and way of making a name for herself quickly fizzled into a series of rankings of the best burgers in town and the nearby areas. It was busy work, work that she could tell she was being given simply to get her out of the office and away from town hall.
Then Charlotte had reached out, a phone call Sasha almost didn't take thinking it was a telemarketer, but the agent had begun by telling her how impressed she was by the insight and determination demonstrated by her initial article. She mentioned there were other extenuating factors that led to Sasha being an ideal candidate, but the main reason she had reached out was because of her investigative skill. The job offer had followed soon after that discussion, and Sasha had officially pulled up roots, wishing her parents and few friends who hadn't moved away goodbye, and she moved to an apartment on the outskirts to Washington DC.
Her first day here at the Department of Conspiracies was supposed to be an orientation and a tour of the facilities, but as she passed room after room of empty lecture halls, barely-staffed cubicle mazes, and conference rooms and laboratories with only the occasional handful of staff, she turned to Charlotte, saying “It seems like this used to have a lot more people working here. What happened?”
She had half-expected the other woman to look sad or forlorn, as Sasha had already guessed that this department, like so many others in the outside of Department of Defense, was experiencing budget cuts and downsizing. But instead the question seemed to make Charlotte even more excited.
“Oh it's for the Project. Most of them were tasked on to helping with that.”
“Project?” said Sasha uncertainly. She certainly had not seen anything in any of the rooms she'd passed that suggested a large gathering. Quite the opposite in fact.
“Yes, it's all downstairs. Here, follow me.” Charlotte led her to an antiquated elevator, the sickly pea-green paint job half a century out of date, but it dutifully conveyed them downwards what felt to Sasha like almost a dozen basement stories. Almost as soon as the doors dinged open, she could hear a hubbub and bustle of dozens upon dozens of voices overlapping, quiet discussions here and there, and the sounds of movement footsteps and flapping paper.
“Welcome to the Project,” said Charlotte with a grin, gesturing widely over the balcony. Below them, Sasha could see the space was enormous. If she had to guess it was likely almost a full footprint of the building far above, but this time a single open space, like an enormous auditorium or gymnasium. The flat concrete floor was marked with what must have been close to a hundred desks, most of them pushed off to the edges to make room for dozens of whiteboards and cork boards. Criss crossing along it were strands of red thick yarn, linking post-it notes, pictures, and documents tacked and taped and drawn on the various surfaces here and there like a drunken spider web.
Leading her down the stairs, Sasha followed Charlotte to the center of the web: a whiteboard containing four documents, each taking up an almost-equal piece of the board. The first was a constellation, with the shape of a centaur wielding a bow superimposed over it. The second was a printout of some kind, on old dot matrix printer paper with numbers all across it and a circled section with some excited handwritten notes. The third was a map of the globe, a trio of pins sitting in the western hemisphere. In the last document was a picture, one that uncannily Sasha knew she had seen before, in amongst her dad's old sea chest: a picture of an older-style American battleship.
“To get you out to speed,” said Charlotte, “This here is the constellation-”
“-Sagittarius,” said Sasha softly. “I recognize it. I was born in the second week of December, and my mom got super into astrology after my dad left.”
She thought she saw a slight change in Charlotte’s expression then, but the woman continued on. “So the most relevant piece of information here is that the closest stars in this cluster are all within about 30 light years of earth. I'm guessing you also can guess what this is about?” she said, gesturing to the map of Earth. Sasha look closer at the pins, not quite understanding what she was seeing till she noticed the name under one of them.
“Bermuda? Is that the Bermuda triangle?”
Charlotte nodded. “Indeed, and famous around the world for the unexplained disappearances occurring within it. A lot of these can be explained away as sailors hitting seas they weren't prepared for and ships sunk by unexpected weather, of course, but there's always been a degree to which those explanations didn't quite cover the concentration of instances in this region. So suffice to say, the United States back in the early 1900s began poking around and while the greater details are classified beyond clearance for you or I, what I can tell you is that they found something, something they thought they could use. They took the information they had gathered, and began to use it as a part of experiment, what thought would be the most easily-applicable use given that World War II had begun in full force. Now this ship over here you may not have seen before but it's a vessel-”
“I have,” Sasha interrupted. “Sorry, but that's the USS Eldridge.” Again, she caught a glimpse of that interesting expression flash across Charlotte's face before the older woman nodded.
“Right on the money again. So in 1943 they tried using the technology they had developed based on whatever it was they found. It didn't do what they intended, so the project was abandoned. However, they did do something.”
She gestured to the dot matrix print out which Sasha could see a glance was lots of small numbers, ones and twos and zeros except for the circled region with the excited note of “Wow!” handwritten next to it as the number spiked magnitudes higher than around us.
“This detected about 30 years later, a deep space signal of incredible intensity coming from the Sagittarius constellation. We didn't put two and two together until we noticed that around the same time, the instances of disappearance in the Bermuda region dropped off to what you would expect for any other stretch of sea.”
“So, something left?” Sasha asked hesitantly.
Charlotte's face changed to a grim line. “I wish it were that simple. We had noted it, but didn't think of it any further until two years back, a little after the 30th anniversary of receiving that signal,” she said, nodding to the printout. She went around the edge of the whiteboard, gathering some folders up in her arms and came back, spreading them across the desk in front of the whiteboard. Each of the folders had a picture of a ship or aircraft on it, and each folder had the ugly red stamp across the top that read MISSING.
“Whatever left has come back. And we need to figure out why what it is, and why it’s here.”
Sasha’s gaze narrowed. “This was never about me, was it?” she accused Charlotte. The agent gave her a sympathetic look and said firmly “No, it was certainly about you. Your work with that reporting was phenomenal and just as good as I would expect from any of the other agents. But Miss Allen, there's other information you have for us. Your dad was petty officer first class on the Elridge before the incident, And I believe a clever mind such as yours would have gleaned additional information from any documents or notes he might have left behind.”
Sasha's mind raced back to her dad's sea chest, strange piles of documents, frantic scribbled notes and mentions of ’The Voynich Beast’ and ’Devourer of the Sea People.’ Then her mind floated to the one letter left specifically for her on top of everything else, the only handwritten thing she'd ever received from him. It just read:
”My dear Sasha, There will come a time when you know what I've done and why I've done it, but in the meantime I asked that you'd be cautious and curious. If you're anything like me, I know that will be an easy request to make, but when the time comes, and you'll know what when it occurs, I need you to finish the work I began. If this all works out how I think it will, I may have a chance to hold you in my arms at last. Love, your father, Carl M. Allen
Taking a deep breath, Sasha steadily met Charlotte’s eyes. “I'm in. And I think I can help fill in some of these gaps.”