Wanted to post this on here because I could not find many posts of people that had sex before seven days.
Felt like my recovery postop was very well comfortably was walking bending over and could even call or jump without any real discomfort. I had blue balls, the afternoon of day three which caused some discomfort, typical blue ball discomfort. I extensively looked up the risk of ejaculating before the seven days. The American Urology Association recommends waiting 7 days before sexual activity.
I am not a urologist, but I took into consideration the very small risk of things like scrotal hematoma and recanalization into account and decided f it since I couldn’t find post online about people having complications (EVEN though I’m sure complications do happen) and because I FELT COMFORTABLE I decided to have sex.
Felt comfortable the entire time. Busted inside cause I’m a crazy Mf and my girls on birth control so can’t comment on the color of the bro-gurt. It’s now the day after and I have NO additional discomfort.
TLDR: American Urology Association recommend waiting 7 days. Felt physically comfortable having sex and understood the small risk of complications. I had sex night of day 3 with no physical complications so far. Use common sense. You’re a grown ass man you know the risk of what you’re doing.

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.

It's been a bad day.
I've been struggling with my weight restored body after AN-bp recovery and I never stopped using the bulimic behaviors anyway, so at this point I'm just full relapse. I'm restricting as best I can outside the bulimic behaviors, but I still feel like it's too much and I deeply hate myself. Going inpatient ruined me and im finding it harder and harder to deal with the fallout from it. I'm losing weight again but it's so slow compared to how fast it went on, and I have so far to go before I feel safe in my body again.
I'm out of money today and have exhausted all my resources until thursday, so I can't buy the bulimic supplies. I've been in full panic about it all day. I keep having to excuse myself from my desk at work to have full breakdowns in the bathroom. I can't seem to reign it in or calm down. It's been hours of this.
Tomorrow my hours at work change because the higher ups manipulated me into something i made clear I didn't want to do. I'm training at another clinic and I might as well be starting a whole other job. The emotional distress this is causing me is almost irrational. I can't cope with it.
Again I'm crying. I can't control any of this. My mother is not speaking to me because she sees the financial toll of my bulimia. She funds a bank account with $500 a month for me to try to stay afloat, and she sees that the transactions are all grocery store based. It's clear as day that I failed another recovery attempt and am drowning in my illness. Except now I'm not even thin. Even more disgusting.
I wasn't able to do anything for her for mother's day because I had no money, and I spent the day doordashing for the cash to buy the binge supplies for that day.
I hate myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I keep inflicting myself on this world. My loved ones deserve better than me.

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.

It's been a bad day.
I've been struggling with my weight restored body after AN-bp recovery and I never stopped using the bulimic behaviors anyway, so at this point I'm just full relapse. I'm restricting as best I can outside the bulimic behaviors, but I still feel like it's too much and I deeply hate myself. Going inpatient ruined me and im finding it harder and harder to deal with the fallout from it. I'm losing weight again but it's so slow compared to how fast it went on, and I have so far to go before I feel safe in my body again.
I'm out of money today and have exhausted all my resources until thursday, so I can't buy the bulimic supplies. I've been in full panic about it all day. I keep having to excuse myself from my desk at work to have full breakdowns in the bathroom. I can't seem to reign it in or calm down. It's been hours of this.
Tomorrow my hours at work change because the higher ups manipulated me into something i made clear I didn't want to do. I'm training at another clinic and I might as well be starting a whole other job. The emotional distress this is causing me is almost irrational. I can't cope with it.
Again I'm crying. I can't control any of this. My mother is not speaking to me because she sees the financial toll of my bulimia. She funds a bank account with $500 a month for me to try to stay afloat, and she sees that the transactions are all grocery store based. It's clear as day that I failed another recovery attempt and am drowning in my illness. Except now I'm not even thin. Even more disgusting.
I wasn't able to do anything for her for mother's day because I had no money, and I spent the day doordashing for the cash to buy the binge supplies for that day.
I hate myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I keep inflicting myself on this world. My loved ones deserve better than me.

I don't even know where to start, there is a huge amount of information that I wanted to share with you here.Let's start with perhaps the most common types of fraud.Theft of your credit and debit cards.There are several ways that you can part with your money from your cards.But where do the scammers get this data from?
The most common ways are
--You got to a phishing payment link,e-commerce
--Leakage of your data from the sites where you made the payment
--You have brought virus software to your PC by downloading a malicious file from an unknown source (Internet, flash card)
--You have got to a phishing site for authorization of an apple, Google, Samsung account, etc.
Now in order
You wanted to buy a product online on an unfamiliar site at a very attractive price.Despite the fact that the site inspires confidence, has an SSL certificate, the correct legal address, a beautiful domain name and other parameters, this is not an indicator of its reliability.After making a purchase, you will even receive a receipt for the cost and delivery time to your email address.And you are happy that you have saved a lot of money, keep going about your daily business. Next, it all depends on the methods of debiting funds from your bank card. It will be used either almost immediately or a little later.
The case is as follows. You regularly purchase any goods over the Internet in a local or large online store.For ease of use, your card and billing address are stored in these stores.Hackers study the attack vectors on these stores, exploit the vulnerability and gain access to the database of stores where you previously purchased goods.Your card data is usually encrypted, but not always, there are also methods for decrypting this data.This is how your card data gets to the attackers.
Do you like free software, movies and games downloaded from Torrent and unofficial sites?
Then the malefactor is already in your computer.There is a huge amount of malware for PCs on both Windows and macOS.All this malware has different tasks.We will focus on the stillers class for example.Stiller is a malicious software that extracts all information from your PC and sends it to an attacker.I will list only some parameters and data that stiller can extract, these are:versions of all software installed on the PC,IP address,time zones,keyboard layouts,fonts,autofill of any browser,cookies,hardware wallets and much, much more.As a rule, your credit cards, which browsers keep so carefully, are located in the autocomplete lines.All other information such as billing can also be extracted from the log taken from your PC.
The most insidious way - these are phishing authorization sites.I'll give you a simple example: your iCloud ran out of storage space, and you wanted to buy additional space in the cloud.You logged into safari on your iPhone and entered an icloud request.You click on the first link in the search results, this is what everyone would do, even me.This link was an advertisement, but the domain was original, the ORIGINAL CARL!!!Next, you are redirected to an icloud-type authorization page icloud.scamdomen.com you enter your login details, you are asked to enter a confirmation code on your device, you confirm, that's all.You can say goodbye to your Apple ID and iCloud for at least a month, because hackers will get into your apple ID, delete your devices, change your password and phone number.And then they start using your information, connected payment methods, viewing your photos and videos, studying your notes, applications, and so on.As a result, Apple ID support will restore your Apple ID, but only after a month.
Now we have looked at the most popular ways to steal your data, in my next posts I will try to analyze each category separately so that you better understand how to protect yourself. Now let's talk about the safety recommendations.I understand that half of what I'm going to say is actually corny, and you know it without me, but nevertheless, it works and provides you with protection.
-Do not use the same password on different services
-Do not specify your first name, last name, date of birth in the password
-Use at least 12 characters in the password, using special characters
-If possible, use only prepaid cards with a known balance to pay at unfamiliar stores/locations
-If possible, do not use the standard autofill functions for usernames and passwords on a PC and smartphone, use only specialized applications in which you can install two-step verification.
-If possible, use a two-step verification
-Use only licensed software
-Install and use antivirus software on your computer and smartphone
-Do not download files to your computer and smartphone from unknown sources
I would like to end this post with this, I hope this information will be useful for you.Take care of yourself and your loved ones!

How are you handling the situation where multiple people are required to have access to an online account? 2fa only allows one number to be added. We are texting codes between each other, which are obviously not always immediately answered and it a very frustrating experience overall.
Its a business account. We have all have our own cards. We all need to be able to login.

Education must change in the multicultural and linked society of today to accommodate the different demands of students from different cultural backgrounds. A pedagogical strategy known as culturally responsive teaching (CRT) acknowledges the value of bringing students' cultural identities, experiences, and viewpoints into the classroom. Combining CRT with the transformative power of EdTech (educational technology) can result in inclusive learning settings that provide every student a sense of respect, worth, and empowerment to succeed.
Understanding Culturally Responsive Teaching
Fundamentally, respecting and validating students' cultural identities and origins within the classroom is the goal of culturally responsive teaching. It entails recognizing the range of learners' lived experiences, incorporating culturally relevant information into the curriculum, and modifying teaching methods to take into account the diversity of cultures present in the classroom. In order for pupils to succeed academically, CRT fosters a sense of involvement and belonging by validating their cultural viewpoints and experiences.
Leveraging Edtech for Cultural Inclusivity
Numerous potential exist for educational technology to support cultural inclusion and improve culturally responsive teaching techniques in the classroom. EdTech tools can help educators create interesting and culturally relevant learning experiences for students, from digital content that represents diverse cultural narratives to collaborative online platforms that encourage cross-cultural conversation.

1. Representativeness of Diverse Content: Access to a variety of digital materials with a diversity of cultural viewpoints and voices can be gained through EdTech platforms. These resources include interactive simulations, films, and e-books. Teachers can enhance the learning process and foster empathy, understanding, and appreciation for diverse cultures by selecting content that represents the cultural diversity of their pupils.
   
2. Multilingual Support: Since language is an essential component of culture, EdTech may assist in bridging language gaps by providing multilingual support for educational resources and communication aids. EdTech can enable students to interact with instructional content in their mother tongue, promoting deeper knowledge and participation, whether through language translation tools or language learning apps.
   
3. Personalized Learning Pathways: By utilizing adaptive learning algorithms, EdTech platforms may customize training to each student's unique requirements and preferences while accounting for their existing knowledge, learning style, and cultural background. Teachers can guarantee that every student receives instruction that is challenging, culturally appropriate, and supportive of their own learning journey by providing personalized learning pathways.
   

Empowering Education Through Professional Development
In order for educators to successfully incorporate CRT with EdTech, they need continuous professional development and assistance. Teachers can be given the information, abilities, and resources they need to integrate culturally responsive teaching techniques with educational technology through training programs, workshops, and online resources. Schools and districts can develop a staff of culturally competent educators who are prepared to address the varied needs of their kids in the digital age by funding initiatives aimed at enhancing educator capacity.
It is impossible to overestimate the significance of culturally responsive EdTech education as we manage the complexity of a world that is changing quickly. Students may flourish intellectually, socially, and emotionally if we embrace diversity, equity, and inclusion in education. Let's make a commitment to creating learning settings where each student's cultural identity is valued, their voice is heard, and they are given the chance to realize their full potential.
https://www.reddit.com/usetalentserve/

education #culture #diversity

I am considering transferring to vcu in the fall, but not sure if I’ll be able to commute to Richmond regularly so I was considering the online or hybrid Art foundation classes
I was hoping that someone who has taken the online could tell me how it is as an Art class, as I have limited experience with online Art classes, and it seems that having the professor able to give consistent and real time feedback was a pretty paramount part of my last studio class.
Also was wondering if you even can take both online and in person, as some colleges don’t allow that.

I genuinely am not sure if this is the right sub but I'm at my wits end with this and I am seeking help.
I have a job where I do the ecommerce for a small chain of clothing boutiques in Florida. This is not a field I know a ton about and the job kind of happened to me on accident. The owner hires sales associates, then if they are "tech savvy" she will train them to do onlines.
The owner has 5 locations including a warehouse. At one of the locations, which is typically slower and doesn't see as much foot traffic, she has the "online girls." These are the employees that process all her online orders. There are 3 of us.
I am the only full-time "online girl." The other two work 1-2 days a week typically. Sometimes 3 if I am lucky.
Her online process is... really crazy and I've not been doing this job long enough to be able to figure out where I can even begin to fix it.
Basically, this is her process:

1. Order comes in
   
2. I have to log on remotely to a PC in the warehouse to manually search for each item in our inventory and I have to write down in the Shopify order notes which locations have the items, and where we are going to ship the order from. I then have to adjust these items out of inventory. Roughly 50% of the time someone is using that PC and I have to wait. Sometimes its easier for me to do this at 1am when everyone is asleep.
   
3. If there are items on the order that cannot ship from the same place, we split the shipment and buy multiple labels.
   
4. I email the stores where I am pulling items from with a list of the items I need for this order.
   
5. The stores search their flooback room for the items, and then they respond back with the SKU, price, and weight.
   
6. If they do not have all the items because inventory was incorrect (it nearly always is), I have to pull the item from a different store, repeat the process.
   
7. If all items are accounted for then I send them the label.
   
8. If there are items that are showing up as out of stock companywide, we have to make a list of these items and send them to our company group chat and tell all the stores to search their flooback room for these items. We have to send this same list to the owner and email all the stores with it.
   
9. If the stores cant find these items still, we have to see if our boss can order it directly from the vendor, and then email the customers to let them know there will be delays.
   
10. If it will take too long to order the item, we can email the customer with a list of "replacement options." We have to email the customer every day for 3 days until they answer. If they don't answer, we have to call them and ask them what they want as a replacement for their out of stock item. We aren't allowed to refund them unless they tell us they don't want a replacement or they don't answer their phone.
    

I could go further but I won't. This is a multi million dollar business and she's had it for 18 years.
Where do I even begin with this? Orders are almost always delayed. Customers are constantly getting the wrong things in their shipments. People are always complaining. I have to work crazy amounts of overtime to make any of this work. The "online girls" are all on the verge of quitting.
I have tried documents. My boss says she "doesn't do documents." She does most things through text message.
I have been here 6 months. It's not sustainable. I need to convince her there's a much easier way to do this but I don't know how.
Anybody have any immediate thoughts?

Long time lurker, first time posting because I’m in need of advice and it’s eating away at me. I can’t really speak about this to anyone in my circle.
I apologize for the long post in advance.
So, my (33F) boyfriend (36M) and I have been together a little over two years. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.
Bit of relevant background information: My BF was married for 9, almost 10 years. He has two kids from said marriage. (2 boys). She cheated on him with at least 3 people (that he knows of) and only cared about how much money he could provide for the family and disregarded his feelings constantly. (Telling him to “man up”, “stop crying and be a man”, “it’s not a real job unless you’re making six figures”, “this guy at work has bigger muscles than you, he’s so hot to look at”), would drain their bank account on whatever she pleased, including supporting her best friend’s drug habit and run ins with the law. The list goes on. She was his first….everything. Kiss, sex, marriage, etc.
I found out recently that about a month or two after we started dating, he was flirting with/hyping up his ex wife through text messages, and was expressing doubts about me. I never felt the need to go through his phone till I just had that gut feeling. I'm an overthinker, and I remember seeing how much he used to be glued to his phone vs now years later. It was always conveniently his ex's name popping up as well. Seeing as to how we agreed to an open phone policy early on in the relationship due to trust issues from past relationships, I decided to act on it. I fucked around and found out.
Hyping her up was obviously an issue on its own; However, he also seemed to be putting me down in the process of trying to make her feel better about herself. She was complaining about her insecurities. He was saying stuff like “Stop it. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever been with. You’re a goddamn smoke show”. Then proceeded to list all of her positive physical attributes, along with how he didn’t know if he really found me physically attractive.
Despite how she treated him, they had a very active sex life. He was simultaneously complaining to her that we (him and I) weren’t having sex enough at the time (fair, I was anxious about sex in general due to past trauma from multiple abusive relationships). It took me a couple months to feel “safe enough” to open up sexually and for us to have a regular sex life. whereas he was telling her how he missed sex with her, they just should’ve made more time dedicated to their sex life around the kids.
The thing is, I never felt any indication of this at the time. He seemed to be understanding of my past sexual trauma, my hesitancies to trust another man, ensuring me that he was willing to wait as long as it took for me to feel comfortable with him (including sexually), everything. Always telling me I was attractive in various ways. How excited he was to get to know me; Would constantly tell me no woman made him feel so valued, like he was worth their time. Now I can’t help but to wonder what else he seemingly lied about. Or how much did he even mean what he said in the beginning while still fawning over her at the same time unbeknownst to me.
After those few text messages though, this type of talk seemed to stop. It went to strictly business only. Only interacting when its about the kids. No multiple paragraph messages reminiscing on their love for each other. No telling her how hot she is compared to me, nothing. They just stopped around the time he started to tell me he loved me.
Long story less long, I confronted him about these messages when I found them last week. I sobbed, he sobbed. He apologized profusely, stating he was just so unsure of me in the beginning and resorted to someone that was a source of comfort in the past (which I don’t get because, well, she treated him awful for the last like…6 years of their marriage). He then said something about how she was the only person he went to for external problems in the past because he doesn’t have many friends and he would vent to her about work, his family, etc. So again, she was basically all he knew from a young age. He then stated I’ve shown him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. That he feels he had rose colored glasses even then. To where he felt like he could somehow re-kindle with her. But he knows now that if he ended up doing that, he would’ve been miserable anyway. He made it a point to tell me he loves ME, not her; And that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, how much he loves me, etc.
He has basically been my constant source of happiness, safety, and comfort until now. Now all I see are the text messages. I have a hard time feeling like he’s truly even attracted to me. He DOES constantly tell me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a “goddess”, etc. But he also did in the beginning of our relationship when those messages were sent to her. Or maybe he’s only slightly attracted to me but regardless, in my mind, I am always being compared to his ex wife and I just don’t…measure up physically. I know I have quite a bit of insecurities and self esteem issues when it comes to my body/face. I have struggled feeling pretty/hot/whatever enough since I was a child. (Long story but for very valid reasons). However, before these messages, I was able to ignore them and just be happy. Now? I’m just not as pretty as her. Her hair is longer than mine. Her makeup is better than mine. I’m curvy/thick, she’s skinny and in perfect shape. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and I’m…going insane. Or so it feels. I just can’t compete with her physical beauty. I can’t compete with her having all of his firsts. I feel like she was the love of his life simply because of their time together and the fact she gave him his pride and joy-his kids. I mean, who forgets their first love? I can't compete with that bond they share. I can’t stop crying about it.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone here went through something similar, and maybe has some tips for finding their self worth again? Feeling pretty again? Or if anyone thinks him and I can move past this without the constant sting of betrayal looming around.
TL;DR: Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me with his ex wife at the beginning of our relationship. I’m finding out now after 2 years together. He states it was due to being unsure of me in the beginning of our relationship, but he’s never been more sure of me now. He was unsure of marrying ever again until he met me How do I recover from the insecurities this has caused to be brought back out unexpectedly? Was anyone here able to move on after something similar?

Hey,
I've been tasked with migrating SP 2013 to SSE. I'm going to use ShareGate to do the migration. Before covid, a resource worked on a new SP 2019 design, but the project fell through. The design included 4 x WFE/DCache servers, 4 x App/Search servers, 2 x office online servers, and 2 SQL cluster. The documentation did not provide any information on how they determined that they needed this many servers. I understand there are many factors to consider to make this decision. I know I require HA where I can, for uptime during maintenance cycles, but that means I just need 2 of each, not 4. So then you factor in performance. Also, why not two really beefy servers versus many smaller servers? MS docs talk about this stuff in general terms and provide some guidance but it hurts my brain b/c stuff is everywhere.
Is there a definitive guide somewhere on the internet that speaks directly to this? What metrics to look at, how to to gather the data, how much data to get, etc. and compare it to SP/SQL boundaries and maximums? Are there custom apps/scripts that can help audit and provide these recommendations?

Firstly gonna start with the least technical stuff and get more in the weeds as I go on.

Bots Metadata

The current working name is "taubot-v2" it's boring and I'd like to see it change, but truthfully don't have any ideas, I'd like to hear any suggestions you may have if I don't hear any "taubot-v2" it is.
Ideally the name would be currency agnostic, I want the bot to be able to simulate other economies on other servers, to enable better diplomacy between other online democracies.

An Overview of what I want the bot too look like.

This is just my current working plan, I'd like to hear suggestions and I'll weigh up the technical feesability of the change and it's potential benefits.
I've planned firstly to as I previously mentioned, to be able to host different economies on the same bot.
These economies will be able to span multiple servers.
Note: I don't currently have any plans for interactions between economies, I want this to ideally be done by people - maybe it could be automated with the planned API - but more on that later
users will have to explicitly open accounts user's will be able to be banned from opening accounts explicitly due to how I've designed the permissions system - more on that later
accounts will be able to transfer funds from their account to other funds, this has the potential to be taxed I've per-implemented the possibility of wealth taxes, income taxes and VAT, this list could be extended with ease as long as the taxes can conform to a relatively simple data structure.
scheduled recurring transfers will be a thing - this will probably end up behaving like the post tho, I'll be able to confirm it happens within a few hours of the scheduled time.- this could probably be made very consistent with relatively little work, that's for after the initial release tho.
The Permissions system
Permissions in the bot will be modular, meaning individual permissions can be granted and removed.
each permission will have a scope meaning it can apply to the entire bot, just a specific economy or a specific account within an economy.
This is different from V1 and the concept of an "admin" account isn't around.
I plan on extending this so certain bot permissions can be associated with different roles but that will not be coming with the initial release.
In cases where permissions conflict, i.e. a user is banned from transferring funds from a specific account but has permission to transfer funds on all accounts in an economy, the permission with the broadest scope will take precedent.
Planned API
I plan to release an API in a future release, Nothing I say in this section is anywhere near concrete but it's my current working plan.
For those who don't know an API is a way other bots can be written that interact with the economy programatically.
My current working plan is to have users grant permissions to specific bots via a command in the discord server, this will allow programs to act on their behalf in a restricted manner using an API key.
Because of the trust this involves, I'd like to manually vet those who want an API key, so I do not plan on having a publicly facing registration service.

Senator Hazzy's questions from the senate floor

1. How far off completion are you?

This will probably be a continuously evolving project, but I could probably get an initial release out by the week's end - with recurring transfers, taxes, permission management, and multi-server support.

1. Would it be possible to transfer control of the bot over to someone other than yourself?

Yes - However, they would need to be sufficiently technically capable to deploy the bot, it's not too hard and I would have no issues ensuring the transition was smooth.
They would also need to rent a cheap VPS if the API is ever implemented and be technically capable of configuring firewalls correctly etc, again I have no problem helping to make this as smooth as possible, but they are skills a host would need were they to take over.

1. Would it be possible to only grant certain users control over specific aspects of the bot such that on one person has total control over it?

Yes the new permissions system allows for allocating of specific permissions to specific users - however and there is no getting around this, the host will have the ability to modify data in the database directly, the role will always be one that requires trust.

1. How effective will maintenance of the bot be? How likely is the bot to break? This is a difficult question to answer, I've designed the bot following clean code principals it has two dependencies the discord.py library and sqlalchemy potentially a third for the API when I get around to that.

discord.py has been around for years with more or less the same API, the only major changes were made after discord completely revamped their end and added slash commands etc.
it's unlikely any major changes will happen to discord.py that break the bot.
SQLalchemy is one of the most used SQL backends for python, its older than discord.py and still maintains their legacy versions.
again I'd make a similar case that any changes are unlikely to break the bot.
But like all code cobwebs form if you leave it long enough something will break.
I can tell you that in fifteen years it'll break due to some quirks with SQL datatypes and discord IDs - however that will only apply to newly created accounts and servers.
I've been methodically testing every aspect of the codebase, and am confident that once it's running it shouldn't break easily, issues may arise when libraries are updated etc, but we get warnings about those kinds of things well in advance.

1. Are there any other flaws you've seen in the proposed bill? Truthfully no, I think it largely falls outside my area of expertise, i.e. the policies surrounding the new economy, but everything needed is technically feesable and will be in the initial release.

How will this attempt be different from a development standpoint.

The biggest change is that I know what we need and what broke with taubot, back when I was actively maintaining it I was the one resolving the issues with the initial implementation, as such I've learned alot about what's needed and what can go wrong.
There were many unused features of the old bot that I had to maintain in order to ensure backwards compatibility - the biggest of which was the fact that the old bot stored balances as fractions meaning you could have arbitrarily precise balances, this will not be a feature in the new bot, it caused countless headaches ensuring that at no point the data was ever converted to a less precise format a few times during testing I'd realised I'd accidentally created infinite money glitches - it was gaining about a millionth of a cent each time you made a transfer but still not ideal.
The old ledger based system couldn't scale, I had ten to twenty minute startup times as the number of transactions increased and while it did make auditing the bot easier, it was significantly slower and audits were never conducted.
I did retro fit a similar database to the current design onto the old bot because I felt the issues with the ledger were becoming insurmountable, however I had to build it in a manner that ensured it behaved as a direct piece swap for the ledger.
I've designed the current code in a manner that follows what I understand to be best practices for maintainability taking aspects I liked from the original bot and trying to keep things as modular as possible so that new features are easy enough to implement.

How do I find out if I am on track? My 401k has a "Compare Me" section and its shows peers my age and salary range and the average amount they have in their account and their average contribution rate, according to Principal. It got me thinking, how do I know if I am really on track? How can I find out if I am behind on retirement savings?

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.

Now that I’m retired I’m always looking for different ways to generate income. For a few months I’ve been testing out the ETF YMAX in my account. I like that it is diversified between the companies individual option stock ETF funds which helps lower risk and is more hands off then as I don’t have to guess which ticker will do best which month. I also like the monthly payout, and that on average it brings in around a 30% apr payout which is much higher than my more traditional income generating funds. I realize it won’t likely grow much, but I don’t really need growth anymore as I have accumulated enough. Are there any major downsides I should be aware of? My plan is to have this be one of my 12 main income funds, but it seems to good to be true since my other funds generate only 8-12% APR. So I’m suspicious that I must be missing a major risk compared to lower payout income funds.

2.3.5 Controversial views and perceptions of the clinical picture of MCAS
2.3.5.1 Alternative diagnostic criteria ("Consensus-2")
In 2011, the group of authors led by Gerald Molderings from the Institute for Human Genetics at the University Hospital Bonn and Lawrence Afrin published their own approach to the diagnosis of MCAS (51). In contrast to the diagnostic criteria of Valent et al. (1), the focus here is more on clinical symptoms. In 2016, Afrin et al. published a list of the most common symptoms that could indicate MCAS (52). Furthermore a questionnaire was developed and published on a website (53), after the answers to which the suspected diagnosis of MCAS could be supported or ruled out depending on the scores obtained. In a recently published publication, the working group referred to their diagnostic criteria as "Consensus-2" and compared and discussed them with the criteria of Valent et al. from 2016 (so-called "Consensus-1") (51). An important difference to the criteria Valent et al. 2016, the authors consider the symptoms not only as the main main criterion, but also a much wider range of previously unexplained symptoms (111 unexplained symptoms (111 possible symptoms (44)) as the most important indication of a a mast cell-mediated cause (14 symptoms in Valent et al. (1)). As The diagnosis of MCAS is considered confirmed if the main criterion is present together with a secondary criterion and possible alternative diagnoses have been excluded. The secondary criteria, in turn, are based on observations made at the time of the 500 people with suspected MCAS at the time of the first publication (44). Further differences between the two consensuses can be found in the laboratory parameters to be determined. For example, the researchers from different disciplines, which according to their own statements can draw on a wealth of experience of of over 10,000 MCAS patients (diagnosed according to their own criteria, nota bene), consider CgA to be specific for mast cells in addition to tryptase, among other things (44). The counterargument of the lower specificity compared to serum tryptase is granted a certain validity in the addendum to the "Consensus-2" published in 2020 (44), however the differential diagnoses with elevated CgA values should be easy to rule out and other markers are also never 100% specific. However, another group was already able to show in 2017 that CgA should not be used as a marker for mast cell disease(49). Furthermore the group of authors of the "Consensus-2" counts heparin as an important marker for MCAS, which should be determined after venous congestion using a blood pressure cuff (54). This maneuver was reported to cause irritation of excessively activatable mast cells with release of heparin in the congested area. Interestingly, the following section mentions markers such as IL-6 or tumor necrosis factor (TNF) which, due to their lack of specificity, are not used in diagnostics, but only in the evaluation of a successful therapy. The authors of "Consensus-2" criticize "Consensus-1" for, among other things the lack of definitions for a treatment response, whereby the "Consensus-2 does not provide any concrete proposals for evaluating or monitoring the response to therapy. Another point of criticism is the lack of exclusion of other comorbidities or differential diagnoses, such as CFS, EDS and irritable bowel syndrome, as clinical indications of MCAS. [...] In return, the AAAAI expressly points out that there is no evidence to date of a connection between CFS or EDS and MCAS. Overall, the clinical picture of MCAS is so complex and heterogeneous that a precise definition of a diagnostic algorithm is not possible at the present time. Molderings et al. therefore propose the acceptance of both the "Consensus1" according to Valent et al. and their "Consensus-2" until more precise findings are available through research. The resulting disadvantages, such as the the poorer comparability of patient populations in scientific studies would weigh less heavily than those resulting from the rejection of "Consensus-2" (an underdiagnosis due to criteria that are too restrictive according to the authors). On the other hand, the large number of non-specific complaints that are supposedly associated with MCAS harbors the risk of inflationary diagnosis.
2.3.5.2 Presentation in the lay press
An expansion of the MCAS definition with the use of non-validated clinical and laboratory chemical parameters for diagnosis is frequently found in the lay media, above all on websites, but also in the specialist literature. Increasingly, patients with (suspected) MCAS are organizing themselves with commitment and are increasingly organizing themselves into interest groups such as MCAS Hope e.V., which campaigns for the recognition of MCAS "as an independent disease". In addition They also network those affected and their relatives and carry out public relations work, which aims to make the clinical picture known to a broader public. This expansion of the diagnostic criteria described above increases the risk of a misdiagnosis of MCAS and overlooking the underlying disease, which may be easily treatable. On the other hand, such an erroneous diagnosis can also lead to the use of unnecessary or potentially harmful therapies for MCAS and supposed comorbidities (20). Shortly after publication of the review paper "Doctor, I Think I Am Suffering from MCAS: Differential Diagnosis and Separating Facts from Fiction" by Valent et al. a self claimed affected person started an online petition in which she demands the authors and the publishing Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology to remove the article (55). Among other things, they criticize the criterion of the tryptase increase, which is too harsh and would therefore prevent many patients from being diagnosed. The clinic also does not typically manifest as anaphylaxis, contrary to what is described in the paper, since mediator release in anaphylactic degranulation differs from that in piecemeal degranulation. Finally, the author of the petition, who sees herself as a "patient spokesperson", reports on personal experiences of frustration and feelings of frustration and rejection that were conveyed to her by doctors in the course of her medical history. The petition has so far reached just under 3,000 of the targeted 5,000 digital signatures (as of December 2020) and shows in particular how emotional the issue of the topic of MCAS is being observed and discussed not only in professional circles, but also among patients. Apparently, some patients find the diagnosis of MCAS to be the last explanation for their multiple non-specific symptoms and hope for more acceptance in scientific circles.
2.3.5.3 Difficulties in making a diagnosis
In recent years, despite the existence of consensus criteria, a (suspected) diagnosis is often made in practice, even though these criteria are insufficiently fulfilled. In some cases, the MCAS diagnosis is also increasingly used for otherwise inexplicable conditions that cannot otherwise be explained. The evaluation of symptoms without a known direct connection with the release of mast cell mediators, for example from the neurological or psychiatric spectrum, as a manifestation of the disease leads to a further dilution of the MCAS diagnosis (43). In the "Bonn" questionnaire, the vast majority of the items asked are not based on the consensus criteria formulated by Valent et al. for example they see the sonographic evidence of an enlarged liver as an indication of the disease (53). The measurement of a tryptase elevation in acute relapse, as required by the diagnostic criteria is difficult to implement in practice, whether for reasons of time, capacity or billing. Targeted therapy trials with maximum specificity with regard to all possible decisive mediators are not possible without prior measurement of urinary metabolites and, in the absence of criteria or measuring instruments often do not produce satisfactory results (43). Last but not least, the wide range of possible differential diagnoses, such as for example from the endocrinological, neurological, psychiatric or cardiovascular area, further complicates the diagnosis (43).
Translated with deep.l
https://refubium.fu-berlin.de/bitstream/handle/fub188/32749/diss_s.gu.pdf;jsessionid=A575C43E11977D2F576404BF69D6469C?sequence=3