Women pain olympics videos

THIS IS JUST A RANT
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish; people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or a Microsoft Word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (the pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the boss's view (if he is in), then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now that I come an hour earlier than the others, I would read, scroll on social media, study, or whatever to pass the time until 9 am (work hour), and if I was late, I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 minutes late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I had never studied before, so to prepare myself, I self-studied and hired a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact that I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things, but I get in trouble if I do them. What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me, and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma: I was told that everyone was going on a work trip that week, which at the time I thought was just the bosses and the executive lawyers, but it turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck with a lawyer who chose to stay behind. OFC, I had some issues with MW, which I tried the hardest to research on Google, YouTube, and even call some friends for help, but to no avail, and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously, I got in trouble the next week when my supervisor was back. Hence, I applied for courses after working in MS so I could enhance my skills and be useful to my superiors, so I wouldn't get that resentful and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day; heck, I even asked people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text, but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were closer to each other—heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even though the secretary told me it was okay to talk on a first-name basis. I won't do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch, I am lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and I was never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think). From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them. However, in the past, working with men was a different story; they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PICs because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. I was contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussycat by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated, and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice and feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand is that I'm an intern at the bottom of the totem pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good, and I need this for CV purposes.

I (25 NB) met my friend (26 NB) at work, we have the same position at work and usually end up paired with each other. We get along great and have a lot of similar interests. I’ve given them rides home from work a lot cause we live near each other, and I thought we’d developed a strong friendship. They’ve worked at the company a little longer than I have, I’ve been working there since August. We’ve only been friends really since Januaryish when I got promoted.
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.

THIS IS JUST A RANT
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish, people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or made some Microsoft word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (Pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the bosses view (if he is in),then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now I come an hour earlier then the others, I would read ,scroll socmed,study or whatever to pass the time till 9 am (Work hour) and if Iam late I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 mins late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I never studies before, ,so to prep myself, I self-studied and hire a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things but I get in trouble if I do it . What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma, I was told that everyone was going to a work trip that week, which at the time I thought it was just the bosses and the exec lawyers but turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck wfh aiding a lawyer that chose to stay behind . OFC I had some issues with MW , which I tried the hardest to research , google, youtube and even call some friends for help but alas to no avail and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously I got in trouble the next week by my supervisor when they were back. Hence why I applied for courses after work in MS so I can enhance the skill and be useful to my superiors so I wont get that resented and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day, heck I even ask people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were more closer to each other, heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even tho the secretary told me it was okay to talk on first-name basis . I wont do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch time is lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and Im never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think) . From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them, could be a racial thing as well but I'm not bringing that in. However, in the past, working with men was a different story, they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PIC because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. Im contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussy by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm, is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice/feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand, that I'm an intern, ,bottom of the totem- pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good and I need this for CV purposes.

THIS IS JUST A RANT
I just recently joined a small local law firm as an intern, and I'm miserable. I decided to intern before starting law school, and all the firms I applied to were notified about this matter.However, I'm ready to learn.
The first few days were okay-ish, people were "nice.". However, as the days progress, everyone just seems to have their own circle of "friends.". I do have someone to talk to too, a dude sitting next to me in a different row, and another dude who is sitting across from me.
I admit I made a lot of mistakes in my first few weeks,but I took all the changes as advice. I came in late due to vehicular issues or made some Microsoft word error. I thought it was okay as the others would come in late as well (Pupil of Chambers and the lawyers) and try ducking away from the bosses view (if he is in),then they would laugh about it among each other. However, I was advised otherwise by my superior. Now I come an hour earlier then the others, I would read ,scroll socmed,study or whatever to pass the time till 9 am (Work hour) and if Iam late I would inform my superior. Even during lunch time, I would be back as early as I could so I wouldn't be in trouble, but the others would sometimes be back 30 mins late to the office, laughing away with their bobba tea in hand. I also apply to some Microsoft Word classes to improve my MW usage so I won't make so many useless mistakes and be a burden.
I was put under conveyancing,which I never studies before, ,so to prep myself, I self-studied and hire a tutor to help me understand better.
Next, I realised I don't get to do certain things unlike the others ( Pupil in Chambers (PIC), certain lawyers/paralegals) . At first, I thought it was due to the fact I was still new and just an intern. However, they get away with more things but I get in trouble if I do it . What annoys me is that some joined the firm only a month before me and they are already "buddy-buddy" with the lawyers.
Next dilemma, I was told that everyone was going to a work trip that week, which at the time I thought it was just the bosses and the exec lawyers but turns out it's everyone, including the staff and pupils in chambers. I was stuck wfh aiding a lawyer that chose to stay behind . OFC I had some issues with MW , which I tried the hardest to research , google, youtube and even call some friends for help but alas to no avail and I was upfront about it to the lawyer I was aiding. Obviously I got in trouble the next week by my supervisor when they were back. Hence why I applied for courses after work in MS so I can enhance the skill and be useful to my superiors so I wont get that resented and disappointed look from my superiors. Also, I didn't get to do anything that day, heck I even ask people in the office if they needed any help (desk to desk , email and text but was sadly ignored) .
When they got back from the trip, I realised they were more closer to each other, heck, even with the bosses. I tried making friends but I seem to be getting ignored except by those 2 guys. Hence, I speak to the lawyers in a formal way, even tho the secretary told me it was okay to talk on first-name basis . I wont do so until they tell me it's okay, even towards the firm's secretary.
During lunch time is lonely too. They would go eat together (except for a few who decided to stay behind to eat or chill in the office), and Im never invited, unlike when I was on my first day. Most of the lawyers are ladies (late 20's to early 30's, I think) . From experience, women tend to be meaner to other ladies if you are not up to par with them, could be a racial thing as well but I'm not bringing that in. However, in the past, working with men was a different story, they were somehow more welcoming and pleasant to work with.
This morning, I got told to stop speaking with one of the PIC because she was trying to "concentrate.". Bitch gets to laugh and talk as loud as she wants when others are working but I can't? I use my earphones to muffle the sound if things gets loud. I used to be excited to come to work, but now I feel dread. Im contracted to be with the firm for 4 months, but now I somehow slightly regret joining the firm. I don't want to quit because its barely been 1-2 months, and I don't want to be a pussy by crying about it or quitting (despite wanting to cry in the toilet stalls during lunch break).
Also,I don't always get tasks to do; I feel isolated and everything I do seems to never be good enough. Despite all of this, I somehow still have the urge to learn and be helpful. So I filled my time studying and out of trouble. I try so hard to behave and do my work right so I won't be picked on or chastised by my superiors. Im getting diarrhoea thinking about it. The bright side about this firm, is that they're pretty lenient, unlike other firms.
I know I can be a problem, so I try to mend my mistakes. The advice/feedback help, and I stay in my lane. What I understand, that I'm an intern, ,bottom of the totem- pole, especially given the fact that I'm not in school yet and that I'm slightly older (started later due to COVID). To them, I am a dog, and when they tell me to bark, I bark. Since I will be a dog for the next 4 months, I decided to be a Golden Retriever—helpful, friendly, and always ready to please and learn. I am learningto learn by showing a brave face and cry at home. I have to walk off the pain and all fo this will be just a memory. Luckily, the pay is good and I need this for CV purposes.

Hi everyone,
TL;DR - I am in a sexless relationship but with a person I care deeply about. She does not want to talk about our future and it is putting immense pressure on me because I do not want to live like this. I feel immensely guilty for considering taking steps to move on. If you have time, please read on. I appreciate it.
This is probably not the best post you'll read but I implore you to excuse my lack of finesse. I feel broken and it's a pain to type this out.
I am 29 as I type this. I have been with my best friend for the past 9 years. She was clear from the beginning that she is not interested in "traditional" relationships. I really loved her and was naive myself. As time passed and we progressed through a difficult but rewarding career, we were each other's pillar. Sex has been an issue for me but it was not everything at that time.
Now it's 9 years later. I'm not saying I'm horny all the time but I feel I have wasted it all. I have zero sexual experience and at the same time I have no one to talk to about it. Every day I wake up and feel like I lost in life. Therapy is not a choice for me at the moment.
The crusher is I know she has mentally assumed I will leave her and does not want to talk about this aspect of our relationship and our future. I have tried almost every day for the past one year. I know what the correct thing to do is: This is my life and I only get one chance. So, while I deeply care about her, I cannot sacrifice something as important as sex (to me) as it will only lead to an unhealthy resentment later.
But knowing this and practicing this are two completely different beasts. I feel guilty to the point I'm debilitated. I feel immense guilt. I feel like I'm throwing away my best friend as she cannot satisfy my selfish needs. She has sacrificed so much for me, being beside my side through our careers like I have too. I am not able to talk to other women with whom I might click, in a huge part because of this guilt. How do I do this without telling her and she is not willing to listen to me.
On top of all this is also the guilt of wasted time. I know these two are completely incompatible but I'm just pouring out here because I don't know what else to do at the moment.
I would appreciate any perspective. Thanks.

I was in a really toxic relationship for 5 years, and spent the following 3 years single, lonely and depressed. I met someone who I really believed was the right one for me. Other than a few arguments, everything has been (close to) perfect, so I thought. We don’t live together, we both have children and both own property. There have been a couple of conversations about the future and moving in together but nothing concrete. He’s going through a custody battle and I’ve done everything in my power to support him. I comfort him, tend to his needs and I have really given this my all.
I noticed that he is excessively friendly with females, like over-the-top friendly. It bothers me, and I’m not the jealous type. I never brought it up because he never did anything to actually disrespect me or cross boundaries (that I know of, until recently). A few days ago he planned to spend the night at my house. When he arrived I could tell that he wasn’t being himself. He told me that he had a bad day and apologized if he was being grumpy. For the first hour he was quiet and short. Then he decided to play a video game (we both game on occasions, don’t be judgy). He was randomly teamed with two women, which is perfectly fine. However, a few minutes into the game his whole mood did a 360. He was like an excited, giddy, teenage boy. The interaction definitely came across as excessively flirtatious. He said things like “You’re adorable” and “You’re both too cute” (referring to their personalities because he couldn’t see them). One woman was married and the other engaged; both were being appropriate and friendly. At one point I overheard him made a comment about porn. Anyways, after TWO HOURS the women said they had to go and my bf sounded really bummed out and said good bye. I was lying down next to him the whole time, with my eyes closed trying to sleep because it was sooooo awkward for me. But I kept getting woken up because he was being loud. I went to bed immediately after.
I’m sick to my stomach, and can’t get over the lack of boundaries and how he went from bummed out, barely talking to me, to hyper and excited in the blink of an eye over some random chicks. I mean, you’d think he had won the lottery. Not to mention, we only see each other one or two nights out of the week because we live an hour away. That’s how he chose to spend his time with me. I’m so turned off and feel like I can’t trust him now. I can’t tell if I’m overreacting and if this is petty so I haven’t brought it up. But I can’t help but feel distant. I don’t feel the sense of security I did a week ago. Talking to him feels awkward and forced now. He was drinking, idk if it matters. I really need some non biased feedback. Even if I tell him how I feel, I don’t think this is something he could fix about himself.

I was in a really toxic relationship for 5 years, and spent the following 3 years single, lonely and depressed. I met someone who I really believed was the right one for me. Other than a few arguments, everything has been (close to) perfect, so I thought. We don’t live together, we both have children and both own property. There have been a couple of conversations about the future and moving in together but nothing concrete. He’s going through a custody battle and I’ve done everything in my power to support him. I comfort him, tend to his needs and I have really given this my all.
I noticed that he is excessively friendly with females, like over-the-top friendly. It bothers me, and I’m not the jealous type. I never brought it up because he never did anything to actually disrespect me or cross boundaries (that I know of, until recently). A few days ago he planned to spend the night at my house. When he arrived I could tell that he wasn’t being himself. He told me that he had a bad day and apologized if he was being grumpy. For the first hour he was quiet and short. Then he decided to play a video game (we both game on occasions, don’t be judgy). He was randomly teamed with two women, which is perfectly fine. However, a few minutes into the game his whole mood did a 360. He was like an excited, giddy, teenage boy. The interaction definitely came across as excessively flirtatious. He said things like “You’re adorable” and “You’re both too cute” (referring to their personalities because he couldn’t see them). One woman was married and the other engaged; both were being appropriate and friendly. At one point I overheard him made a comment about porn. Anyways, after TWO HOURS the women said they had to go and my bf sounded really bummed out and said good bye. I was lying down next to him the whole time, with my eyes closed trying to sleep because it was sooooo awkward for me. But I kept getting woken up because he was being loud. I went to bed immediately after.
I’m sick to my stomach, and can’t get over the lack of boundaries and how he went from bummed out, barely talking to me, to hyper and excited in the blink of an eye over some random chicks. I mean, you’d think he had won the lottery. Not to mention, we only see each other one or two nights out of the week because we live an hour away. That’s how he chose to spend his time with me. I’m so turned off and feel like I can’t trust him now. I can’t tell if I’m overreacting and if this is petty so I haven’t brought it up. But I can’t help but feel distant. I don’t feel the sense of security I did a week ago. Talking to him feels awkward and forced now. He was drinking, idk if it matters. I really need some non biased feedback. Even if I tell him how I feel, I don’t think this is something he could fix about himself.

For those who don't know me already, 33 female, 4 pneumothoraces, 2 VATS (chemical and mechanical). My last VATS was almost a year ago, June 7th 2023. knock on wood
I had robotic surgery at NYU Langone in 2019 to remove endometriosis that had spread to my bowels (this came after a grueling 7 years of being passed around by different doctors who had no idea what it was). This doctor told me that I would probably need surgery every couple of years to keep it under control, along with hormone therapy. Fast forward to Nov 2022, I had my first pneumothorax. Since then, I moved from New Jersey to Florida, so I was treated here for the collapses and 2 VATS that followed. The thoracic surgeons (got a second opinion, too) did not determine endometriosis as the cause, but leaned more towards damage from COVID.
Today, I saw my OBGYN who found more endo on my recent scans 😭. She initially tried treating it with medication, but it has not helped, and now wants to do another surgery. During the procedure, she will look at my diaphragm for any endo growth, and work with a specialist to remove it and potentially prevent more lung collapses.
Her only concern is whether or not my lung will be able to handle a breathing tube, since it puts stress on the lungs. I'll need to check with my pulmonologist to see if he'll give clearance for the surgery.
I've been through so much trauma already, and haven't even scratched the surface in therapy to process what I went through. While I don't want to put myself through even more pain and suffering, I trust this doctor, and she truly wants to help me.
Has anyone had more surgery post-VATS, and did you tolerate it well? Any women here that experienced something similar? I'll take any words of advice or encouragement to distract myself from the impending doom of another surgery.

Watched a video on YT titled “Being famous is like being a woman.” In this video, the man explains how since his channel has gone semi viral he’s noticed how many people go out their way to not only acknowledge him but provide favors.
Such as being invited by a barbershop with barbers who told him they are inspired by his material so they’d like to give him a free cut. To maybe being given extra attention from certain women who acknowledge his competence backed by his fame.
Where this gets interesting is when he begins to self analyze further and understand that beautiful women have experienced this feeling of being desired, being gifted things from an early age, being shown love attention time and money all from not having earned but by simply being born attractive.
If you’re famous and treated well in your location, why would you ever leave? The west is geared for women in every way these days, it’s up to men who understand the brutality of life in that you have to build your value and then capitalize on it by moving towards places in which you are treated “famous” in other words just shown human decency.
Here’s the link to the 10 min video. Feel free to share any thoughts on it and/or my takeaway.

So, I (39f) get a text from my husband (38m) at 12:47 pm asking me if I'm alright because I was cleaning more aggressively than he was comfortable with and he doesn't know how requests of me will be taken...okay, so I had a lot of coffee and I was moving fast so I could finish what I started and get to some schoolwork done online. I got how he could think I was upset somehow, I guess. I replied that I had stuff to do and I was fine. He sends me another text saying he's in a lot of pain (he had surgery last week) and he wanted to know if I'd ask the doctor for a refill of his pain meds.
(He has had issues with alcohol, drugs, and narcotics in the past. He was trying to be sensitive because when he was getting prepared for surgery, he let me know they were going to give him narcotics and the reason I left him before a couple times was when he was on something and treating me like crap. We spoke about it and I thought we'd be okay after.)
I replied asking him if he called his doctor already to see if something could be going on. A couple hours later I'm taking a bath and ask if he spoke to the office. I getting ready to pick my kid up and I was heading toward the pharmacy. It's a 45 minute drive, ordinarily. I send him another text after I get the kid to see if maybe he had a script filled and I could pick it up. I didn't get any replies. I ask if he's feeling some kind of way and ignoring me, or if I'm imagining it. Nothing. So I call him. He says he didn't reply because he didn't like that I replied to his question with a question. I told him we were on our way home and drove home.
So I have another unrelated issue to talk to him about and I send him a text letting him know that I'm having an issue, but I can't talk to him about it because I don't feel like he's a safe place for me to talk. We've had issues when we argued in the past and I've started trying to express myself in this way to let him know I'm struggling without picking a fight. So he knows that something is going on and I'm trying to work through it on my own, especially in the face of my not feeling like I will be heard if I speak to him about it.
We go back and forth for a while and eventually, I retired to the bathroom to decompress, brush my teeth, wash my face, do some stretches and zone out listening to a podcast. He comes in the bathroom without warning, I assumed cuz he was flushing his stuff from surgery, so I left. Folded a load of laundry and fixed up a new load. Came back to my computer to get started on schoolwork again, and get a text from him. I'm in the middle of responding and he closes the door and starts coming toward me like he was gonna talk. I got up and left the house. We went back and forth a little more in text messages.
He's trying to blame this whole ordeal on me like I got myself worked up over nothing and I'm telling him I was fine until he said he'd been ignoring me for hours. Then I had an unrelated issue that I was gonna work through myself and I didn't want to talk. Then he tried to force the issue to talk. I tell him I've repeatedly told him to back off and let him know what was going on with me once there really was an issue.
He sends me another text saying it's funny and cute when I storm off angry. I replied letting him know that I wasn't leaving out of anger, it was fear. (And perhaps, I realized after the fact, I should have elaborated on that a bit to explain that I was afraid of my own reaction not being appropriate for the environment with the kids home and me being upset that he was trying to force a conversation that I told him I wasn't up for). He gives some sarcastic replies to that and I stopped texting back. I left the house to grab some beers and I'm sitting in my car listening to a podcast, drinking my damned beers in peace.
So, my question is this...am I the asshole here? I feel like I responded to his initial messages well and tried to keep judgement about the pills out of it. Being concerned that he's in pain. Wondering if this should be expected days after surgery. Still don't know, because he thought I was salty about the whole thing before he even sent his first text and treated me just like I was. Then picked a fight with me and tried to blame me for it. And then...tells me I'm funny when I'm mad. Which would be fine, except this was not the time or place to say that and it felt like he was laughing at me and not taking me seriously.
Before I get the responses saying this is a bad relationship or indicates some fundamental failure of my marriage and I should just leave him...please take a step back and imagine for a moment that this is "get-over-able"...and then let me know how you think either of us could have handled it better. I know my relationship is silly sometimes, but it's my mess and I'm working on cleaning it up. It takes time. How can I improve things in the future?
TL;DR my husband thought I was gonna be upset that he wanted pain meds even though he has had issues with them in the past and left me hanging for hours playing video games. Then picked a fight with me and when I told him I was done talking, he kept it going until he disrespected me by saying I was cute when I was mad.

Feeling really overwhelmed and could use some recommendations.
I, like many people here, have issues with my feet. The "flexible flat foot" thing and my ankles being bendy and all of this sending pain through the rest of my legs.
I'm about to start my first Real Person Corporate Job in the summer and I need business-appropriate shoes (so, not sneakers and not work boots) that aren't going to make me cry when I think about walking in them. But I don't have a ton of budget for the $200-400 shoes I see people normally recommend on here, because I haven't actually started the job yet. Max I can maybe justify is $100.
I was told by a shoemaker I met once to look for shoes with a shank for the support I need, but I'm having trouble finding away to actually filter for that accurately on shoe sites.
If your solution is insoles: I have insoles, they just don't fit in the shoes I currently have without hurting my foot/stretching the shoes from it being too tight a fit. So I'd appreciate recommendations for shoes that fit insoles, because all of the traditional womens business styles I can think of wouldn't really accommodate that.
If your solution is thrifting for the more expensive styles: I can't, because of a combination of a lack of access right now + contamination OCD making that a nightmare.

For all the videos there are about the new SubClass that we will get in the Final Form DLC, I have heard that in the Lore... the Guardians can use Light and Darkness whenever and however much they want, even making combinations of the Super Skills.
In view of this, I thought of making my own Super Skills for the Guardians, I just hope you like it
ARC ENERGY
Feet/Electric Fists (Hunter and Titans): Fight using your feet/fists to attack, with each blow releasing electric shocks of 500 volts and shooting bolts of electricity. If someone is skilled enough with their feet or fists, they can charge energy to deliver stronger blows
Magnetic Barrier (Sorcerer): Generate a layered electromagnetic field to repel everything
Nunchaku (Hunter): Creation of a three-bar-long Nunchaku capable of killing by transmitted electricity or deatomization
Taming the Storm (Sorcerer) Capable of creating electrical storms of great size and destruction.
Lightning Dancer (Hunter): Creates two short blades for quick kills and also allows the user to "sape" jump at high speed
Solar ENERGY
Flaming Halberd (Sorcerer, Hunter and Titans): Creates a fiery halberd capable of launching fireballs
Bo Nuclear (Titan, Sorcerer and Hunter): Creates a combat bo that causes small, radiation-free nuclear explosions.
Celestial (Sorcerer): Creation of spheres made of solar energy the size of a fist that obey their owner who uses them to attack or shoot enemies
Shirai Ryu (Hunter): Creates a Japanese kunai attached to a long chain, capable of reach long distances and tools such as whips, harpoon, a hook and with the necessary skill, the kunai can be thrown as an arrogafizo knife that explodes upon impact, the kunai at the tip regenerates in a short time. How many of these exist at a time depends on the skill of the user.
STRINGS ENERGY
Tamer (Hunter, Titan and Sorcerer): Use the strings of the universe to create animals capable of understanding the creator.
Chained Swords (Titan): Two short swords are connected to the hands of the Guardian who can cause chaos
Reaper (Sorcerer and Titan): Creating a large scythe
Spider (Sorcerer, Hunter and Titan): Able to create webs capable of turning invisible and trap enemies
Beethoven (Hunter, Titan and Sorcerer): Creation of instruments capable of shaking reality with musical notes, notes that can bring death to their enemies
VOID ENERGY
Void Blood (Sorcerer): Manipulate the energy of Void to control the bodies of enemies, causing them great pain or ending their lives
Entropic Wave (Sorcerer): Creation of a wave of Void power that eliminates from existence everything it catches
Chains of Morgana (Sorcerer): Creation of chains of great strength capable of catching any object that moves, durability depends on the strength of the owner
Breastplate (Titan): An armor is formed that covers the entire Guardian while gaining a slight boost in its strength and speed.
Shadow Step (Hunter, Sorcerer and Titan): The ability of a Guardian to use shadows to move quickly
Stacis ENERGY
Cerberus of Helheim (Hunter): Creates a Nunchaku of three bars attached to a ring capable of freezing and destroying enemies
Leviathan ( Titan): Single-bladed combat ax capable of destroying enemies in different ways
Frozen Zombie (Sorcerer): Grows ice constructions capable of creating humanoid beings of ice, the enemies they catch are covered in ice and forced to follow the will of the Guardian

Anyone else see the shorts on Sam and Tanner's channel and get a little TOO excited??
Then I go to GD page and still see videos like "why marriage is between a man and a woman" and "why the kitchen is a good place for women" and I'm just like damn....but I'm ready to come along for the ride tho lol

I'm a 32M who has been trying to do nofap on and off. Usually I had no libido issues, until last year when I broke up with my ex. Since then I haven't had felt any high attraction to any women and the only stimulant was porn that would get me up. I went on e a couple of dates but I wasn't feeling it, so they led to nowhere,
Given I wasn't feeling anything, I feared it was due to fapping, so since December I've been on NoFap. I relapsed once in March, and now today, because the low libido/dead johnson was killing me.
I feel like I really have to wait it out, and this time I might cut out a lot of dopamine receptors, mainly screen time of all sorts (that involves social media, short videos, movies and everything else (except work)).
Also I've been cutting carbs and sugar and hitting the gym for about 2 months now.
What do you recommend guys? I'm really pissed right now that I have to deal with this. I feel like the breakup left a sour taste in my mouth and it's leaving its effect on my sexual libido.

so to clear things up before i say the story. i understand why this is all happening and i do regret it and i wish i could go back in time and just be a good person in general and treated her way better. every single day i live with this regret and it just pains me.
so me and her have been together for two years now and it really was all fun and romantic. it felt like we were meant for each other and it wasn't just lust. it was love. true deep love and i loved it so much. we fought a good amount but it was never relationship ending. we always overcame our disagreements and learned to apologize and recognize when one of us is wrong. but we had a big problem recently and it was very personal to her and i failed at being a decent human being and instead got mad and defensive and i let my emotion take over instead of understanding.
so one morning i woke up to a text from her saying she found two pictures of instagram girls in bikinis saved on my accounts folder from when i was in freshman year. she politely asked me to delete them. then i did tell her id delete them but i then proceeded to get upset as if this was a common thing to get mad at me about and i acted like it wasn't a big deal and i basically told her to get over it and that "it shouldn't be a whole day problem" without realizing how much those photos impacted her. i wasn't aware of those photos being there and instead of reassuring her and just being nice and deleted them i made a whole big deal about it and i regret it.
she's always told me she doesn't like the way she looks and that she accepted the fact that she looks "mid" and she isn't anyone's type of girl but she's told me before that i made her feel like she was my type and i made her feel pretty at times but that's all gone now. i really was into her and she's still so pretty to me and she kept getting prettier and prettier in every scenario i saw her.
i didn't even think in the moment on how it could affect her seeing those pictures saved on my account. she must have felt awful seeing that and it would make it seem like i had a type and i was attracted to those girls when in reality i didn't even know they existed and im not really attracted to women other than her. i know it sounds like bullshit but i just can't see women the same after being with her and she won't ever believe that. i understand now how she must've felt and how it must have shattered her self esteem and i couldn't even reassure her. and when we eventually talked about it like a day later, i STILL didn't understand how she felt and when i apologized i wrote the most wrong apology saying stuff like "i did nothing wrong" "get over it im sorry" literally no reassurance just anger and i hate myself for not realizing it in the moment. it wasn't until like a WEEK LATER that i realized how she felt and what i should've done.
our anniversary of two years was in like a week and after this bad apology and talk we basically took a break so she can have time to think. we still talked here and there but nothing romantically or about us. and we agreed that we'd try couples therapy one day so i set it all up and this is where i did the most stupidest awful decision ever.
i know it's frowned upon and stuff but my dad tried to raise me to be cold and not show emotion but in reality emotion is all i could show. i ended up being very needy and anxious and just needing her comfort at times.
the night before we were going to talk to the therapy lady. she was having a bad time and told me she didn't want to talk tonight or call. and without thinking i just started being needy and wanted her attention and kept texting her. then i did something so stupid and ruined what i loved the most. i don't know what my thought process was or how i thought it was a good idea but i got on a "second number app" that allows you to text from a whole different number and i texted HER number while she was feeling bad and in the text i acted like i was a coworker i had that was "looking for me" the coworker was a girl and of no importance to me but i used her name practically asking for "myself to catch up"
i wrote a paragraph for when i wanted to reveal myself and in it i tried to say that i did it because i wanted her to see that "i was always there" or that it always was just her and i and that she doesn't need to worry about anyone getting in between us because it was always her and i. that reason sounds like BS now i genuinely don't know what i was thinking. she says she knows that i did it just to make her jealous, but i don't feel like it was that way. i didn't mean to hurt her and i wish i saw how it could hurt her.
after coming clean about it like a few texts on there i sent the paragraph thinking we'd just laugh about it or something like the stupid delusional person i am. she didn't say anything in the first few seconds but i felt a sudden regret and i felt like i couldn't breathe because i suddenly realize how bad of a thing it was. i promised her i would lie to her and i tricked her with this. so i started panicking after sending it and saying stuff like "this was a bad thing wasn't it" and just panicking and apologizing so fast because i tricked her. i didn't even think about how she would be jealous about that coworker and i was stupid to not think that back then. she then didn't reply for a while and it sank in that i really did something so awful to her. so out of panic i got in my car and went to see a friend at 2 am because they worked night shift. and i talked to her about it and she agreed that it was stupid and i shouldn't have done it. i am so conflicted about this right now. i don't know if it was because i was needy or i just wanted her attention or im just plain stupid. i don't know now why i did it and i regret it deeply. she won't accept an apology thought because my reasoning doesn't make sense at all and i understand that now.
i felt sick to my stomach and later that night like an hour or so later she broke up with me. my whole world sank. i dented my car and went back to my friend to tell her and i just broke down for what i have done. and i've been paying for this with karma ever since this has happened. not even an hour later from this, i got fired from the job i was working at and i lost everything. i have this pain in my chest that hasn't gone away since that day and i've been having nonstop stomach problems and my relationship with my family is decreasing and they're resenting me and i even lost my dog i had for 7 years. so many things keep happening but i know it's because i have to pay and i understand that.
backstory on why this made such an impact: i grew up as a lie. i lied to my family i lied to my friends. i lied to be liked in school and i always tried to be something i am not. when i met her i tried to put these lies behind me and bury my past and what i was and i deleted alot of stuff and quit my porn addiction because i really wanted something with her. but she found out about my past one day and i lied to cover it up and these lies only came back and i ended up breaking her trust again and again to the point where she thought things that were never happening. i know im a liar and a bad person but i was never a cheater or unfaithful to her. i've always genuinely liked her and how she looked and i had everything i wanted. i didn't need to cheat or find other girls because i had one and she was all that i wanted. i even made it clear to here that the relationship wasn't about sex because if we ever stopped having it i'd still love her. but i couldn't be understanding and reassuring with her and i messed up so much and i made it seem like i was lying to her again even though i wasnt. and her last relationship was full of lies and she was manipulated and she regrets going back to him after the fact she knew how he was. and this is the scenario i am in right now. what we had was real love and it was beautiful but i messed it up and destroyed it badly. and she doesn't want to disappoint her past self by doing the same thing she did with her ex because she's afraid of getting hurt again. she can't trust me anymore. she doesn't believe that we could fix it again. she doesn't believe that i liked her and that i was attracted to her. she believes i was out there getting crushes and talking to other women and she believes i did it to make her jealous and that i have a type of girl i like and it's not her. she thinks i led her on this whole time but when i ask "then why am i still here" there's no answer because im not doing this out of pity or attachment. i truly loved her and how she looked. she doesn't believe attractions change and that people can change. she's so focused that we can't have what we had before because it's too different now. i just don't know what to do and im full of regret.
so sometime later i gave her her space and just rotted away in my room missing what i destroyed. one day something compelled me to go to the store and i saw her there. i went up to her and she wanted to talk so i agreed and we went to the park to talk. she tried to break up with me in person that day but couldn't and later that night she texted me that we'd break up in person rather than through text because we're adults. so some time later we kept seeing eachother a bit and talking. we even ended up going to the place i rented for our anniversary just out of a spontaneous decision because she felt a comfort in being around me even though it hurts her. that day we ended up doing a lot of stuff and being intimate with each other and acting like normal. the only words that came out while we were doing it were "i love you" from both of us and it was so passionate and real and it felt like what we had before. we acted normal after that and spent the night and watched movies and cuddled and just talked like nothing at all happened. we were smiling and cracking jokes and just having a good time. it was the same. i didn't want to take her home because i knew it would end though. and that it was all just a dream. and it did end. we decided to be on a break for now and we still talk and sometimes even have fun like we used to but nothing romantically yet. we even started making out the other day but then like a few days later she gets reminded of everything and doesn't talk to me again. and i get she's in her feeling and i understand what i did and that she deserves better but i want to be that better. i want to change for her and show her that i wont hurt her again. but she's afraid. she can't trust me anymore and she's afraid to try again because she loved me she genuinely loved me and she looks for me in the person i am now and she can't "find him" and she believes things will never be the same again and that it won't work but she can't leave because it's too painful. BUT i feel like it can be the same... all those moments we had they were like nothing happened. it's still there within us. our love is still there and i know it is but she's afraid of doing it again and disappointing her past self. like we've been calling and acting normal even though we keep thing the same thing and it keeps bothering us. i feel regret and pain and she feels the pain too because she loved me. i don't know what to do. i know the best for us is probably to just leave it and go our separate ways but i can't. i do love her still and i want to be better for her. for my family. a better person in general. i know i can be the better for her and i don't want to give up. and she doesn't want to give up because she loved me but she also doesn't want her emotions to get in the way of what she should do. i don't know. this is a just a big rant i don't know if its a good idea to post it or if anyone will read this far. i just miss her so much. i miss what we were. i miss how happy we were. this kind and good hearted girl loved me and has showed me so much. she was my first for a lot of things. and my first actual commitment to a relationship. she took my virginity aswell but those are not the reasons i want to stay with her. i want to stay because i love her. i really love her and it just begs the question "why did you do it?" and i don't know. it eats me up inside and i can't take it i DONT know and i wish i could take it all back. i want to start over. i want a time machine. i want her. she loved me and i destroyed what i loved the most. my life hasn't been the same since then and so many bad things keep happening to me but i know it's for a reason. how can i regain her trust? is that even possible? i dont know what to do. i know she needs time but will she ever see that i do want to change? that change is possible and i don't want to hurt her anymore? i regret it all. why couldn't i just be more understanding and reassuring and been good to her. how could i be so foolish. if i just kept my stupid thoughts quiet and kept my mouth shut we could've gone to therapy or something. i messed up really bad.
thank you for reading. i feel so lost

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Female 27 year Brazil 172cm 76kg i drink on weekends smoke only weed (only on weekends
~~~~~
9 days ago - drinkin in the bar with some friends, started feeling a strong back pain, went home, had intimacy with my bf and felt a little abdominal pain
8 days ago - everything was fine
7 days ago - everything was fine
6 days ago - started peeing A LOT. woke up 3-4 times during the night to pee. immediatly thought of urinary infection.
5 days ago - STRONG LOW BACK PAIN. went to the ER, urine test (positive for bacteria and hemoglobine) and CT showing dense fat surrounding my bladder (which doc said it was indicating the urinary infection). kidney stone was ruled out and prescribed meds
4 days ago - started taking meds (ciprofloxaxin 2x/day, dipyron whenever hurting (max 4 times/day) and ketoprofen (2x/day)
3 days ago - lower back pain, no more intense peeing
2 days ago - lower back pain, a little bit worse
yesterday - intense lower back pain, went to ER again, they gave me dipyron in my veins and went home
today - intense lower back pain.
so, i'm taking the meds for 4 days. no improvement, lower back pain getting worse, can someone please check my CT scan and help me investigate, since the hospital only gave me meds for pain manegement.
Here are the 3 videos from different sections
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1BopFLIIL75xYTOf1BnLbcmMrC-eL6GJc?usp=sharing
(Sorry, i've tried uploading in other host websites but since it's a video, it was beyonde the size allowed)
THANK YOU <3

I copied and pasted what a random said to me on a reply I made in ask women about being treated badly by ppl and he said it was bc of my looks when I wasn't even the poster I curiously asked how and this is what he said
Thank you for taking the feedback well and asking for some clarification!
That is generally my impression from the pictures, of someone who's a bit of the way into chemo (pale/wan skin, thin hair, somewhat gaunt appearance). None of them in isolation are all that bad, but there's something about the way they all come together.
Perhaps if one of them improved, the rest wouldn't be amplified so much. I'd suggest starting with the hair. Save up and splurge a bit on a stylist. Tell them your goals - that you're coming to them to help you design a look and haircare plan to give your hair volume and compliment your regular appearance (wear typical clothes and makeup). Take all-around pictures of the cut immediately after, and then use those pics to guide your regular hairdresser.
My read on your paragraph is that you're in a bit of denial and reaching to justify how people treat you. Most people are about their appearance.
It's extremely well established that people treat attractive people better.
Yes, you're right, the extremely unattractive/frail/etc, but it comes from a different driver in the mind.
In between the two extremes, there's an uncanny valley type effect. Someone moderately ugly will be treated worse than someone extremely ugly.
Maybe it is something in your demeanor, speech, whatever. If you want to do a video call, I can give you feedback on that.

I have always had these watery cysts. Sometimes they would rapture in the middle of the night, where I would not be able to walk. It would be sharply painful and would feel like it's hurting from my bum. I would need to go to the ER for this. Fast forward to a year ago where I had laparascopy because of a bloody 6 cm ovarian cyst that had to be urgently removed because I could literally not walk (I even went to work in the WAREHOUSE with that pain). I never got official reports of the cyst, but my family doctor told me there is no endometriosis. I suffer with heavy bleeding and cramps every period for 7 days, first 2 days being the worst. Ever since then I have pain that feels like of that when I had that big cyst, like it is in my bum. I cannot walk properly, so many times each day I get these "shocks" which are painful shocks that go from my "bum" to my stomach, where I cannot walk without feeling like there is a baloon in my bum, I had an ultrasound couple of months ago and they told me there is nothing seen. I always have painful ovulations and pain in general every day. For the last year and a half I have been having gas, bloating and painful abdominal pain. I would run away from people in order for my stomach to not make sounds and to not accidently pass gas. My anxiety has worsened because of this and for my bloated anxious stomach they keep on prescribing me pills that do not work and I keep on wasting whole lot of money on these useless pills. I am writing to you right now from my floor because I CANNOT GET UP and cannot walk from all this pain, especially on my left side (where I used to have that big cyst), went to pee after first being on the floor for 10 minutes crying in pain, I peed in pain and now I cannot get up to go to bed and idk if I will even be able to sleep tonight. So far I was given the worst treatment from the doctors as the public healthcare does not care, just wants to get rid of you and go next. I am not only crying because I am in pain, but because I am emotionally sick and tired of living with this and literally BEGGING to be alright while some, such as a fellow woman herself, my mother, thinks I am just too sensitive. It's all told that this is normal for women and they release me. TELL ME IF YOU HAVE BEEN IN A SITUATION SUCH AS ME AND WHAT DO I DO ANYMORE?! I am tired of living. I feel like trash being here on the floor, helpless and alone. Btw I also have to find a new job which is, with my situation, extremely terrible since I feel isolated, anxious and terrible and in pain because of my.."condition".