MM Romance

Kindle Unlimited

• Thin Ice: MM Small Town/Hockey Romance (The Elmwood Stories #4) by Lane Hayes - Amazon - (contemporary, hockey coach/single dad, small town, age gap, fresh start, ONS to lovers) - 270 pages
  
• In His Corner by H.L. Day - Amazon - (contemporary, boss/employee, chef & restaurant owneex con, hurt/comfort) - 261 pages
  
• Our Mystery Island Affair: MM Romantic Comedy (Miles & Kieran #2) by Gaia Tate - Amazon - (contemporary, established couple, series must be read in order, rom com movie set, slow burn, actoFBI) - 237 pages
  

Kobo & Kobo Plus

• The Designer of His Own Fortune (Have Body Will Guard #14) by Neil S. Placky - Kobo & Amazon - (contemporary, action/adventure, established couple, series must be read in order, investigating murder of distant family member, family drama) - 229 pages
  
• My Demon Teacher: A Dark MM Paranormal Romance Novella (My Demon Charming: An Instalove Novella Trilogy #2) by Rhys Lawless - Kobo & Amazon - (paranormal, demon teachestudent, instalove, mystery/suspense, check CWs) - 91 pages
  
• The Beauty of the Beast: A Contemporary Fairytale MM Romance (Ever After #4) by Gabbi Grey - Kobo & Amazon - (contemporary, Beauty and the Beast retelling, part of a multiauthor series, rural British Columbia setting, Australian forestry student rents a room from a recluse, roommates, moderate angst, hurt/comfort) - 312 pages
  
• Cross My Heart by Darcy Archer - Kobo & Amazon - (contemporary, NFL football, injured player reconditioning with old college team, second chance for high school crush) - 272 pages
  
• Dark Paths: A Dark Vampire Romance by Sadie Rose Bermingham & Bellora Quinn - Kobo & Amazon - (paranormal, vampire rockstaexotic dancer, mystery/suspense, MC is kidnapped by rival vampires, vampire MC must rescue him) - 371 pages
  
• Arizona Raptors Box Set by RJ Scott & V.L. Locey - Kobo & Amazon - (contemporary, boxset, 5 books, professional hockey) - 906 pages
  

Other Queer Romance

Kindle Unlimited

• Last Chance by Claire Highton-Stevenson - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, soccer playeteam owner, age gap, forbidden romance, found family) - 406 pages
  
• Her Boss: A Lesbian/Sapphic Romance (The Boss Series #9) by Grace Parkes - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, boss/employee, best friend's little sister, age gap, ice queen/sunshine) - 108 pages
  
• Saving Her Soul by Hildred M. Billings - Amazon - (FF, fantasy, established couple from a previous book in another timeline, sorcerehuman, priestess/farm girl, soulmates) - 714 pages
  

Kobo & Kobo Plus

• Primal Hunt (Midnight Hunters #9) by L.L. Raand - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, paranormal, werewolf/vampire, wolf/vampire alliance against faerie queen, paranormal realm at war, FMCs are fighting in the war) - 240 pages
  
• Their Forever Daddy (Lost River Littles #4) by Stella Moore - Kobo & Amazon - (FFM, contemporary, daddy/littles, FF second chance, MF couple adds a third, small town) - 344 pages
  
• Only a Bridesmaid by Haley Donnell - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, contemporary, bridesmaid/bride, fake bridesmaid for socially anxious bride, queer awakening) - 189 pages
  
• A Heart Divided by Angie Williams - Kobo & Amazon - (MF, historical, American civil war (1860s), FtM trans MC, single mom needs help maintaining ranch after war, MMC impersonates a man to escape family life and has a trans awakening of sorts, confederate soldier MMC/union soldier widow FMC) - 286 pages
  
• Cabin Fever by Tagan Shepard - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, contemporary, work rivals to lovers, forced proximity, snowed in together after a trade show) - 247 pages
  
• Spirits and Sirens (Owen Station Romance Series #3) by Kelly Fireside & Tana Fireside - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, paranormal?, ghosts, small town, photographeassistant fire chief, returning home to small town to help family, solving town mystery, battling southwest summer wildfires) - 301 pages
  
• Snake Charming by Genevieve McCluer - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, paranormal, vampire/snake shifter, ONS to lovers, both FMCs have troubled pasts) - 230 pages
  
• Adrift by Sam Ledel - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, historical, American prohibition (1920s), Mexican bootleggeAmerican prohibition promoter, family issues and obligations, rivals to lovers) - 258 pages
  
• Blood Remains by Cathy Pegau - Kobo & Amazon - (FF, historical fantasy, 20th century, blood mage/gangster, mystery/suspense, returning home to old life, getting revenge on rival gangster) - 283 pages
  

Audiobooks

MM Romance

• Starting Line (For Puck's Sake #2) by Crea Reitan, narrated by Shawn K. Jain, Simon Dornet & Zachary Zaba - Amazon - (contemporary, hockey, teammates, secretly married couple adds a third, best friends and teammates to lovers, forbidden relationship) - 9 hrs 38 min
  
• Best Served Cold (Crimson Club #3) by Willow Dixon, narrated by Alexander Cendese & Aiden Snow - Amazon - (contemporary, animosity to lovers, double bi awakening, friends dare him to "play a game of gay chicken," competitive MCs) - 7 hrs 59 min
  
• Discovering Damon (Behind the Camera #3) by Cora Rose & Nicole Dykes, narrated by Cooper North & Zane Daniels - Amazon - (contemporary, strangers to friends to lovers, automotive tech/camboy, bi awakening, small town) - 6 hrs 25 min
  
• Saints Like Him (Redemption Ridge #3) by Aimee Nicole Walker, narrated by Lance West - Amazon - (contemporary, best friends to lovers, ranch owneFBI agent, pining, mystery/suspense) - 8 hrs 15 min
  
• Blackmailer's Delight: A Georgian Era Romp by David Lawrence, narrated by Cornell Collins - Amazon - (historical, age gap, mystery, multiple POVs, period typical homophobia, secret relationship, comedic relief) - 9 hrs 6 min
  
• Hard Angle (Criminal Intentions: Season Two Episode 4 #17) by Cole McCade, narrated by Curt Bonnem - Amazon - (contemporary, mystery/suspense, established couple, series must be read in order, revealing secrets, relationship in trouble) - 6 hrs 40 min
  
• Rent: Paid in Full (Bad Decisions #1) by Jesse H Reign, narrated by Kirt Graves & Shannon Gunn - Amazon - (contemporary, college, roommates, rich/poor, obsessive MC, money exchanged for sexual favors, check CWs) - 9 hrs 49 min
  

Other Queer Romance

• Summer Fate: A Heart-Warming Lesbian Romantic Comedy (Duckton-by-Dale Romance #1) by Emma Nichols, narrated by Claire Storey - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, rom com, escape big city mistakes in small town, neighbors, quirky small town) - 8 hrs 27 min

Me, F14 and my boyfriend M16 have known each other for 2 years. We just recently started dating about 1 month ago but we’ve been bestfriends for 2 years. My boyfriend who I’ll call Marcus has 3 siblings who share a house with him. and a brother who he shares a room with who I’ll call Devin. He has 2 sisters. A 14 year old who I’ll call Maggie and a 11 year old who I’ll call jess. Me and his siblings are very close and I’ve noticed his younger sister jess has a close friend named Mila. Mila has always been weird, before I seen her in person I’d notice I would hear her voice almost all the time in the background while on call with my boyfriend Marcus. It would mostly be her trying to play fight with Marcus and Marcus telling her no and to get out of him and Devin’s room. He would always tell her to stop touching him or he would ask his sister Jess to take Mila back to her room. Me and Marcus are on the phone basically all day everyday. There’s been numerous incidents where Mila would attempt to sit on Marcus’s lap and Marcus would scream and ask her what the f*ck is she doing. He’s tried many times to set boundaries but the girl won’t listen. Once me and Marcus were on the phone after he had just cussed out Mila and Marcus and his brother Devin were talking about times that Mila has been weird. A time occurring when Mila hid in his closet while he was changing and Marcus screamed at her and told his mom. Another time Mila kept trying to find a way into Marcus and Devin’s room after Marcus had locked her out. There were many times where Mila had gotten in trouble for trying to grab Marcus private parts, In one incident of her trying to Marcus had enough and hit her in the face with a metal bucket. This all leads up to me coming over to Marcus’s house for us to hang out in person for the first time in a year. We were in him and Devin’s room and we were laying on the bed cuddling and watching tik toks together like normal teenage couples do when suddenly Mila came in the room. And she saw me and her face dropped, her whole demeanor changed. She asked “Who is SHE?”. I knew how weird that bitch was so I didn’t say anything back, I just kissed Marcus on the lips and ignored her too. Suddenly she went ballistic and just started cussing me out. She started yelling things like “I don’t know who the fuck you think you is”, “you ain’t cute bitch”, “I bet you won’t fight me tho”. Seeing an 11 year old girl try to act tough over a teenage boy who’s rejected her over dozens of times was hilarious. Me, Marcus, and Devin just started laughing. I do boxing and I’ve fought more times than I can count on both hands and Marcus knew that and so did Devin. Marcus just told the little girl to get out. It looked like something straight out of Bad Girls Club. The little girl wouldn’t leave so eventually Marcus got up and called his mom and dad to come get her and she had to leave and go home. But that wasn’t it. The next day me and Marcus planned to go to a beach. His brother was going to be at their grand parents house so that left me, Marcus, Maggie, and Jess. But that wasn’t It. Jess pleaded with their mom and dad to let Mila come and their parents agreed. once I made it to Marcus house I changed into my swimsuit and put a t shirt on over it. While putting on the T shirt I heard moving around in the closet. I knew Marcus and his family were in the living room so I freaked out and opened the closet and it was Mila. Apparently she thought I would be Marcus changing into his swimsuit, so she was trying to hide in the closet to watch. I started screaming at her, I was so mad so I don’t remember the things I said but I remember calling her a “Nasty bitch” and a “weird bitch”. Marcus heard me and he came to the back room and started to cuss her out as well. Soon the whole family had gotten involved. But since Mila is 11 they took it easy on her and we still went to the beach. The whole car ride was uncomfortable, there wasn’t enough room so we had to do this thing called “lap up”. It’s when someone sits on someone else’s lap in a car so that there’s more space. Mila volunteered to sit on Marcus’s lap but it was immediately denied, Instead Marcus sat on my lap and she had a salty face. When we made it to the beach me and Marcus took a bunch of pictures together and Mila tried to be in every single one. She started throwing sand at me and playing it off as just a joke. We eventually went home and Marcus begged me to stay the night so I agreed of course. He had some clothes that I could fit into. Pajama pants and a T shirt. Apparently he wanted to me to stay the night because Mila somehow convinced his parents to let her and they agreed. I slept in his bed and around 3 am I woke up to noises and it was Mila going through my purse and trying on my lip gloss. Since it was so late I didn’t wanna make a fuss so I just woke up Marcus and he handled it. Not in a good way. He smacked Mila and grabbed her by her hair and dragged her out the room

I (28F) have known my partner, David (29M) for 5 years now, which includes an 8-month period in which we were broken up and I was in a serious relationship with another man, Luke (30M).
Before I met Luke, my relationship with David was suffering from a ton of very textbook communication issues. I won’t go into too much detail, but here’s an example. Whenever I tried to do something nice for him, he would guilt me for trying to make him feel bad because he would not do nice things for me (he was depressed at the time so that’s why it made sense to him). Or rather than talk about our feelings in a healthy manner (I-statements), we would blame each other. It was messy and resentment grew in our relationship. I used to cry a lot.
This was exactly the time I met Luke, who is a relative of my stepmother through her late husband before she married my dad. My stepmom was renting out a portion of my dad’s and hers marital home to Luke and one night she invited me to dinner with all of them. Luke instantly drew me in. He was a child’s psychologist and since I also work with small children, we had so much in common. We had an amazing conversation that evening and I learnt he had a great insight into people. I could not put my finger on it instantly, but it felt so refreshing meeting someone like him. When I shared that I met Luke with my then boyfriend David, he accused me of cheating on him and acted extremely possessive about me which angered me because I didn’t do anything wrong.
Having Luke around was more frequent now since I am close to my stepmother. Maybe because my relationship with David was getting so bad, I projected a lot of my fantasy on Luke, unconsciously. I never meant to get emotionally close with him, and as soon as I realised I was developing feelings for another man, I ended my relationship with David. That very week, Luke asked me out and our relationship blossomed. At the time, it felt like destiny, like we were meant to be and we moved too fast. It was a whirlwind romance. He was incredible and after 5 months of dating, we moved in together. However, he does not want kids of his own and I realised we were incompatible ultimately and we broke up amicably. I should admit that despite our incompatibility, there was a lot of genuine love in our relationship and he is going to be one of the “great loves” I have experienced in my life.
A lot of you might also feel differently about this, but we cannot control our feelings, only our actions. And as soon as I realised I was falling for Luke, I did right by my then partner, David, and ended things with him. I NEVER wanted to lead him on, NOR am I the cheating type. I ended things when I realised my feelings. I never cheated on David and our couple’s therapist agrees with this
I remained single for a whole year, and David reached out. He was doing better mentally now and we went for couple’s therapy as well and are in a good place now when it comes to communicating maturely. However, he cannot seem to navigate his insecurity of how I “left him for Luke”, and he wants me to say that I regret being with Luke. As hard as it is on David, I do not regret meeting Luke. David and I were bad for each other back then and we were different people. I see that the way life lead us apart, and now together, we have grown so much. Yes, it’s true, that while being with David, I fell in love with Luke, and I do not believe in the concept of “love of my life”. David also feels insecure because I never moved in with him, but I moved in with Luke. However that’s an unfair comparison because no 2 relationships are equal.
I am committed to making my relationship with David work and I know a lot of you will want to know this, but I absolutely have no feelings for Luke now. He is a different chapter of my story and is in the past.
TLDR: I was in a rocky relationship with David due to communication issues, which led to meeting Luke and eventually leaving David for him. Despite our differences, Luke and I had a whirlwind romance but ultimately realized we were incompatible. Now, David struggles with insecurity and wants me to regret leaving him for Luke, but I don't. I ended things with David as soon as I realized my feelings for Luke, and while it was tough, it was the right decision for me. I'm committed to making things work with David now, but I won't deny my truth or regret meeting someone who was once a significant part of my life.

I (28F) have known my partner, David (29M) for 5 years now, which includes an 8-month period in which we were broken up and I was in a serious relationship with another man, Luke (30M).
Before I met Luke, my relationship with David was suffering from a ton of very textbook communication issues. I won’t go into too much detail, but here’s an example. Whenever I tried to do something nice for him, he would guilt me for trying to make him feel bad because he would not do nice things for me (he was depressed at the time so that’s why it made sense to him). Or rather than talk about our feelings in a healthy manner (I-statements), we would blame each other. It was messy and resentment grew in our relationship. I used to cry a lot.
This was exactly the time I met Luke, who is a relative of my stepmother through her late husband before she married my dad. My stepmom was renting out a portion of my dad’s and hers marital home to Luke and one night she invited me to dinner with all of them. Luke instantly drew me in. He was a child’s psychologist and since I also work with small children, we had so much in common. We had an amazing conversation that evening and I learnt he had a great insight into people. I could not put my finger on it instantly, but it felt so refreshing meeting someone like him. When I shared that I met Luke with my then boyfriend David, he accused me of cheating on him and acted extremely possessive about me which angered me because I didn’t do anything wrong.
Having Luke around was more frequent now since I am close to my stepmother. Maybe because my relationship with David was getting so bad, I projected a lot of my fantasy on Luke, unconsciously. I never meant to get emotionally close with him, and as soon as I realised I was developing feelings for another man, I ended my relationship with David. That very week, Luke asked me out and our relationship blossomed. At the time, it felt like destiny, like we were meant to be and we moved too fast. It was a whirlwind romance. He was incredible and after 5 months of dating, we moved in together. However, he does not want kids of his own and I realised we were incompatible ultimately and we broke up amicably. I should admit that despite our incompatibility, there was a lot of genuine love in our relationship and he is going to be one of the “great loves” I have experienced in my life.
A lot of you might also feel differently about this, but we cannot control our feelings, only our actions. And as soon as I realised I was falling for Luke, I did right by my then partner, David, and ended things with him. I NEVER wanted to lead him on, NOR am I the cheating type. I ended things when I realised my feelings. I never cheated on David and our couple’s therapist agrees with this
I remained single for a whole year, and David reached out. He was doing better mentally now and we went for couple’s therapy as well and are in a good place now when it comes to communicating maturely. However, he cannot seem to navigate his insecurity of how I “left him for Luke”, and he wants me to say that I regret being with Luke. As hard as it is on David, I do not regret meeting Luke. David and I were bad for each other back then and we were different people. I see that the way life lead us apart, and now together, we have grown so much. Yes, it’s true, that while being with David, I fell in love with Luke, and I do not believe in the concept of “love of my life”. David also feels insecure because I never moved in with him, but I moved in with Luke. However that’s an unfair comparison because no 2 relationships are equal.
I am committed to making my relationship with David work and I know a lot of you will want to know this, but I absolutely have no feelings for Luke now. He is a different chapter of my story and is in the past.
TLDR: I was in a rocky relationship with David due to communication issues, which led to meeting Luke and eventually leaving David for him. Despite our differences, Luke and I had a whirlwind romance but ultimately realized we were incompatible. Now, David struggles with insecurity and wants me to regret leaving him for Luke, but I don't. I ended things with David as soon as I realized my feelings for Luke, and while it was tough, it was the right decision for me. I'm committed to making things work with David now, but I won't deny my truth or regret meeting someone who was once a significant part of my life.

I have this
AFRO:

• Soma, Yuma - All 4 U
• Daughter of the Sun (Ankhoï Remix)
• Ankhoï - Sandiya
• Ankhoï - Clound
• Ankhoï - No sleep
• Tato - Merah
• Abdel Kader - Monte Rougue
• Valeron, Payment & Klaudia Touch Me (Sam (GR) Children Touch)
• Alright - Red Carpet (Kashovski & Abel Ray Remix)
• Victor Alc - I Know You Know
• Vxision - Love Preparetions (Slow Down Edit
• Classy 101 (Vxision, Maz Remix)
• Rui Da Silva - Touch Me (Peace Control Remix)
• Drake - Sticky (Peace Control Remix)
• Jovem Dionisio - Pontos de Exclamação (VXSION Remix)
• Black Cofee, David Guetta - Drive (Da Capo Remix)
• ROUTE 94, Jesse Glynne - My Love (Alex Wann Remix)
• FCLT - Fell It’s You (Alex Wann remix)
• Sérgio Mendes - Mas Que Nada (Ahmed Spins Edit)
• ANOTR, Abel Balder - Vertigo (Carlita Remix)
• Kura - Sentir Saudade (Guapo, Antdot Remix)
• Keinemusik, Arabic Piano - Two Lost Kings
• Drake - Confusion ( Keinemusik Remix )
• Fortress - Diplo ( Rampa Remix )
• Tanzânia (Rampa Remix)
• Toto - Africa (Rampa Edit)
• Zouk Machine - Maldon (Rampa Edit)
• Busta, Rampa, Black Coffeee - Mamakusa
• Go Low L.A.X (Rampa Edit)
• &Me, Rampa - Tong 4 (Original Mix)
• Travis Scott - Butterfly (&Me Remix)
• Feel - ABRA (&ME & Sasha Tigresa Edit)
• UNKLE, Miink, Will Malone - ONLY YOU (&Me Remix)
• Ilanga - Masšh (&Me Edit)
• Samba Yo Pan Pale (&Me Remix)
• Marssi, Adam Port feat. Ninae - All I Got
• Joris Voorn - Homeland feat. Matthew Dear (&Me Remix) {Jinadu Vocal Edit}
• Aba - Fell (&Me remix)
• Simian Mobile Disco - Caught In A Wave (&ME Remix)
• Adam Port, Massi, Ninae - All I Got
• Keinemusik - Muye (Enoo Napa Remix)
• Fleetwo Mac - Dreams (Moojo & Demayä EDIT)
• Coco, Joezi, Pape Diouf - 7 Seconds (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo, Demeya - Hot N fun
• Moojo - Atitude
• Moojo ft Gabsy - Ze Roberto
• Moojo - I Whant Your Soul
• Moojo - GTA
• Cairo - Here We Are (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo - Oui
• Rihana - Stay (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo ft Starving yet Full - Limitless Vocal Version
• Moojo,Da Capo - What U Desaire (Vocal Mix)
• Post Malone - I Fall Apart (Moojo Remix)
• Drake - A KEEPER (Moojo Remix)
• Moderat, Keinemusik - More Love (Kalidon Mykonos Mashup)

I (34f) have noticed that the older I get, I have so much less tolerance for my friends’ entitled and suffocating habits. I am in a place now where I’m finding easier to phase people out of my life because they can’t see beyond their own selfish existence.
One friend sends me anywhere from 5-10 Instagram links a day via text, and maybe another 5-10 links on Instagram. And then she quizzes me on them and asks if I’ve watched them and gets upset if I don’t watch them. I do if and when I have the time and energy, I also just don’t want to be on social media all day and I have a life and career and things to do.
So after she got annoyed that I haven’t watched a bunch, she was like “I’m never sending you anything again.” This is a 40 year old unemployed woman. So now, instead of sending me links, she’ll tell me about something and say “did you hear about xyz? Look it up. Because I’m not sending it to you.”
It’s passive aggressive and annoying and I explained to her that having me hunt for articles about what she’s talking about is dramatic, passive aggressive, time consuming, and over the top . She said that I don’t care about the things that she likes. I tried explaining to her that I don’t have the time or energy to watch and respond to videos all day (other people also send me things… it’s a lot tbh) and she just made it so unnecessarily weird.
I know she’s always saying that she’s bored and lonely, but it puts a lot pressure on me to always be available to her and I just can’t. I recently dumped a close friend who was the energy vampire of the century who was constantly threatening to harm herself if I didn’t make myself available to her and she would send me pictures and videos of herself pinching herself with rubber bands and random bruises all over her body (I know. I don’t know how these people find me) and eventually I told her to get help bc I couldn’t be her 24/7 crisis hotline and she said she was DEVASTATED bc she doesn’t have anyone else so talk to and said she couldn’t be friends anymore. She would call me at all hours of the night and day because she was afraid of what she might do to herself, and she’d be like “FINE. I’ll just call crisis services.” She would get upset if I was on a date with my boyfriend and did not pick up the phone to listen to her multitude of problems. She would actually say “can you ask David to cut me some slack? I’m struggling.” And then the pictures would come. Girl bye, I’m done.
I feel like some people are so entitled and lack self awareness. My circle of friends is getting very small because I refuse to be sucked dry by stunted, needy people every day of my life. I’m not a therapist. My job isn’t to look at stupid social media crap at the drop of a hat.
Do you find it easier to dump friends the older you get?

I’m sorry but these people are just talking to talk. Claudia is literally googling conversational topics they can talk about during the podcast?!?! And then picks the most basic question about life goals? Like successful podcasters have an agenda and it makes sense and the chemistry of the hosts just flows from there. I get these people are related but in this context they have zero chemistry or anything insightful to say. I literally feel like I’m watching people who are just trying to get started with their YouTube channel and they are struggling to be interesting and these people have so many followers. Like what?????
The things they talk about are the same every week that Jen went after trash boyfriends, Claudia is a gold digger (which she fights to the end against- honey you couldn’t afford the house you live in now if you didn’t have Jesse and let’s be honest that was always your goal- you may not have known how much money he had when you started talking but you def stayed in the relationship because you saw the potential and wouldn’t be with him long term if he didn’t- I digress) Brandon is just a weirdo and Kennedy lives in New York! Like woof. Couldn’t finish it this weeks episode. It’s honestly hard to watch.

https://minimalfreaks.co/2024/05/deep-house-top-100-may-2024/

1. ANOTR, Leven Kali, Erik Bandt – How You Feel (Original Mix) 06:01 128bpm 10A
2. The Blessed Madonna, Clementine Douglas – Happier (feat. Clementine Douglas) (Extended) 04:50 126bpm 9B
3. Sugar Hill – I Love You So ((Extended mix)) 05:10 124bpm 10B
4. Locklead – State Of Peace (Original Mix) 07:35 130bpm 2A
5. Kevin McKay, James Cole, Darcey, Simon Ellis – Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Darcey, Simon Ellis) (Extended Mix) 06:34 129bpm 7A
6. Locklead – Zero’s Delight (Original Mix) 07:02 130bpm 5B
7. The Blessed Madonna, Fred again.. – Marea (we’ve lost dancing) (Original Mix) 04:45 123bpm 4A
8. Kevin McKay, Simon Ellis – Walking On A Dream (Extended Mix) 04:55 125bpm 4B
9. Maverick Sabre, Tom Breu, Vintage Culture – Weak (Extended) 04:58 123bpm 5B
10. Chris Stussy – Desire (Extended) 06:14 67bpm 1A
11. Vitess – Blue Vision (Original Mix) 05:10 131bpm 2A
12. Dilby, Tom Evans, Bruno Blanc, Monochrome (AU) – Play It Twice (Dilby Extended Remix) 07:01 125bpm 9B
13. RUZE – Journey (Original Mix) 06:07 126bpm 3A
14. Deeper Purpose, Jalja, LAZY JOE – One By One (Extended Mix) 05:36 127bpm 10B
15. Kevin McKay – Tom’s Diner (Extended Mix) 04:46 124bpm 4A
16. Oden & Fatzo – Lauren (I Can’t Stay Forever) (Extended) 06:36 128bpm 9A
17. Dam Swindle – That’s Right (Original Mix) 07:04 120bpm 7A
18. TWENTY SIX, Darcey – Stan (Kevin McKay Extended Mix) 05:38 122bpm 6A
19. Gorge – Roots (Extended Mix) 06:18 123bpm 5A
20. Hardy Heller, Alex Connors – Remembrance (Extended Version) 07:16 125bpm 4A
21. Nick Curly – Arkum (Remaster) 07:09 123bpm 8A
22. Skygroover – Jazz Rhythm (Extended Mix) 06:18 128bpm 9A
23. Chris Stussy – Seeing & Believing (Kolter Extended Remix) 06:01 128bpm 9A
24. Sonaba, Henry Chris – Sun is Dark (Extended Mix) 05:12 123bpm 8A
25. Kolter – Be Real (Original Mix) 07:33 125bpm 5A
26. Marsolo – Show Me (Original Mix) 05:24 131bpm 12B
27. Kolter – I’m Fine, Thanks! (Original Mix) 07:01 128bpm 9A
28. Pornbugs – Right Here Inside (Steve kelley Remix) 06:45 125bpm 4A
29. Deeplomatik – Inside My Mind (Dilby Remix) 06:18 124bpm 9A
30. Gorge, DÉ SAINT. – Feed The Animal (Extended Mix) 06:36 124bpm 6A
31. Easttown – Athletic (Original Mix) 06:27 130bpm 7A
32. Paluma – Rapture (Kevin McKay Extended ViP) 06:07 126bpm 3A
33. Dilby – Get Together (Extended Mix) 07:46 125bpm 7A
34. Cameron Jack – The Vision (Original Mix) 06:13 124bpm 3B
35. Crew Deep – Location (T.Markakis Remix Extended) 06:51 122bpm 4A
36. Ninetoes – Finder (Carl Cox Remix) 08:50 126bpm 9A
37. Tal Fussman – Children Of 95 (Original Mix) 05:57 124bpm 9A
38. Stefano Albanese – Ballroom (Original Mix) 05:45 125bpm 5A
39. AJ Christou – Back & Forth (Original Mix) 05:59 128bpm 1B
40. Andre Lodemann – Home (Original Mix) 08:34 120bpm 12B
41. Chris Stussy – All Night Long (Original Mix) 07:06 133bpm 4A
42. DAVI – Future Avenue (Original Mix) 07:00 125bpm 9B
43. Dennis Cruz – Time Out (Original Mix) 05:33 124bpm 9A
44. Route 94, Jess Glynne – My Love (Original Mix) 04:19 120bpm 5A
45. Franck Roger, Rimarkable – Part Of My Soul feat. Rimarkable (Original Mix) 07:27 124bpm 2A
46. Hannah Wants, Clementine Douglas – Cure My Desire feat. Clementine Douglas (Extended Mix) 06:38 122bpm 2A
47. Hardy Heller, Alex Connors – Arthur (Experiencing Sound) (Original Mix) 07:21 125bpm 4A
48. Franck Roger – The Music (Original Mix) 07:44 124bpm 10A
49. Dilby – The Station feat. DNCN (Original Mix) 06:47 125bpm 2A
50. George Bloom (ES) – Blooming (Original Mix) 08:36 124bpm 8A
51. Fouk – Mirage (Original Mix) 07:07 127bpm 8B
52. Musumeci – In Da House (Original Mix) 05:03 124bpm 8A
53. Kolter – This Is It (Original Mix) 06:01 130bpm 1B
54. Mona Lee, The Checkup, DJ Merci – You Make Me Stronger (Original Mix) 07:43 125bpm 9B
55. Chris Stussy – Midtown Playground (Original Mix) 06:13 130bpm 9A
56. Never Dull – Turning You On (Original Mix) 06:45 120bpm 9A
57. Nicone, David Hasert – Wasting My Time With You (Extended Mix) 06:13 126bpm 8A
58. Dilby – Barricade (Extended Mix) 06:51 124bpm 7A
59. Vincenzo – Assassin (Mihai Popoviciu Remix) 06:52 126bpm 9A
60. Mallin – With You (Extended Mix) 06:21 126bpm 3A
61. Jose Vilches, Joselacruz – Street Signin (Original Mix) 07:01 124bpm 3A
62. Barry Can’t Swim – How It Feels (Slightly Extended Mix) 03:10 124bpm 5A
63. Nico Morano, MeWhy – Juno Love (Original Mix) 07:26 120bpm 9A
64. Shiba San – I Wanna (Tchami Remix) 05:04 127bpm 4A
65. PAWSA – A LITTLE BIT FUNKIER (Extended Mix) 07:23 130bpm 6A
66. Rex The Dog – Change This Pain For Ecstasy (Jonathan Kaspar Remix) 06:44 124bpm 5A
67. Locklead – Moon (Original Mix) 04:48 135bpm 2A
68. Oliver Dollar, Jimi Jules – Pushing On (Original Mix) 06:57 122bpm 10A
69. Gorge, Robyn Balliet – Just A Dream (Original Mix) 06:13 124bpm 4A
70. Julian Prince – Dayum (Original Mix) 07:53 122bpm 6A
71. Lost.Act – Poema De La Noche (Calabasa Remix) 08:02 126bpm 10B
72. Maverick Sabre, Jorja Smith – Slow Down (feat. Jorja Smith) (Vintage Culture & Slow Motion Extended Remix) 05:15 124bpm 11B
73. Noir, Haze – Around (Solomun Vox) 06:58 115bpm 4A
74. Bondax – Infra (Jansons Remix) (Jansons Remix) 06:14 130bpm 9A
75. Sergio Parrado – Summer98 (Original Mix) 06:40 126bpm 9A
76. Jimpster, KingCrowney – The Passion (feat. KingCrowney) (AtJazz Remix) 07:13 125bpm 9B
77. M-High – The Answer (Original Mix) 07:24 130bpm 2A
78. Dennis Cruz – Poke Bowl (Original Mix) 05:20 126bpm 2B
79. Baron (FR), Mel Bundo – Spacer (Original Mix) 06:47 122bpm 11B
80. Natanael Megersa – Switches (Gorge Remix) 06:12 124bpm 8A
81. Gola, The Archer – GhashanG (Most Beautiful) (Original Mix) 05:29 123bpm 8B
82. Vincenzo – No Time To Explain (Original Mix) 06:15 124bpm 10B
83. Coeo – Native Riddim (Original Mix) 06:26 120bpm 5A
84. Yves Murasca – All About Housemusic (Dilby Extended Remix) 06:46 125bpm 7B
85. Boogie Vice, Deep Aztec – Promises (N-You-Up Extended Dub Mix) 07:36 122bpm 6B
86. Claptone – No Eyes Feat. Jaw (Original Mix) 06:58 120bpm 6B
87. Rulers Of The Deep, Mr. V, Ricky Inch – Let’s Work feat. Mr. V (Extended Mix) 08:39 126bpm 12A
88. Vincenzo – Assassin (Original Mix) 06:18 122bpm 9A
89. Nick Curly – Skyfall (Original Mix) 06:26 125bpm 6A
90. Folamour – These Are Just Places To Me Now (Original Mix) 07:01 117bpm 5A
91. Time – Not Alone (Original Mix) 06:44 120bpm 8A
92. Zone+ – Separation (Matthew Dekay Remix) 07:45 128bpm 9A
93. Gareth Cole – Hypodub (Original Mix) 06:44 125bpm 6A
94. The Pintauro Brothers – City Life (Original Mix) 05:41 126bpm 2A
95. Sean Roman, Toronto Hustle, Javonntte – Deep In This (feat. Javonntte) (Original Mix) 05:21 120bpm 10A
96. Dilby – Remember Me (Extended Mix) 06:19 124bpm 4B
97. DJOKO, Kolter – Hooked on You (Original Mix) 06:23 131bpm 1A
98. Fusion Groove Orchestra, Steve Lucas – If Only I Could feat. Steve Lucas (Liem Remix) 07:06 126bpm 8A
99. Session Victim, Sweatson Klank – The Road To Love (Session Victim Remix) 07:15 121bpm 8A
100. MRSFLV – I Can’t Sleep (Original Mix) 07:35 124bpm 4A

https://minimalfreaks.co/2024/05/house-top-100-may-2024/

1. David Morales, Wh0, Sam Frandisco, Steve Martano – Needin’ U (Extended Mix) 06:11 126bpm 8A
2. CASSIMM, Mahalia Fontaine – Say Yeah (Extended Mix) 05:47 127bpm 11A
3. Honey Dijon, Jamie xx – Baddy On The Floor feat. Honey Dijon (Original Mix) 03:42 124bpm 12A
4. War – Low Rider (Kyle Watson Remix) 05:25 129bpm 9B
5. David Penn, OFFAIAH – Satisfied (Extended Mix) 05:16 126bpm 1B
6. Mochakk – Jealous (Extended Mix) 05:45 128bpm 9A
7. AYYBO – All We Need (Deep Inside) (Original Mix) 05:17 127bpm 12B
8. Gorgon City, Caroline Byrne – All That You Need (feat. Caroline Byrne) (Extended Mix) 04:54 128bpm 2A
9. Nick Morgan – Shook Part 3 (Original Mix) 07:02 126bpm 6B
10. FISHER (OZ), Aatig – Take It Off (Extended Mix) 05:26 127bpm 2A
11. Dennis Cruz – Bonito (Original Mix) 05:28 123bpm 6A
12. Mele – And 1 (Extended Mix) 04:30 128bpm 10A
13. LF SYSTEM – Lift You Up (Extended) 04:23 128bpm 4A
14. Sam Divine, Josh Barry – Saved By The Record feat. Josh Barry (Extended Mix) 06:19 128bpm 11A
15. ANOTR, Abel Balder – Relax My Eyes (Original Mix) 06:36 132bpm 3A
16. Bob Sinclar – World Hold On feat. Steve Edwards (Fisher Rework, Extended Mix) 05:33 127bpm 1A
17. Prospa – If You Want My Loving (Original Mix) 04:10 127bpm 3A
18. GFDM, Jengi – Da Feeling (Original Mix) 04:34 126bpm 6A
19. CASSIMM – LOVE DESIRE (Extended Mix) 05:47 126bpm 7B
20. IDRIS – La Trumpeta (Extended Mix) 05:37 95bpm 7B
21. Peggy Gou – (It Goes Like) Nanana (Original Mix) 06:07 130bpm 5A
22. Borai & Denham Audio – Make Me (Franky Rizardo Extended Remix) 05:43 130bpm 3A
23. Mark Knight, Kathy Brown, James Hurr, Wh0 – Turn Me Deeper feat. Kathy Brown (Extended Mix) 05:21 127bpm 2A
24. Cajmere, Dajae – Brighter Days (Marco Lys Remix) 06:22 126bpm 8A
25. Mochakk – Da Fonk feat. Joni (Original Mix) 06:06 127bpm 8A
26. Franky Rizardo – Dance To The Rhythm (Original Mix) 05:30 128bpm 3A
27. Easttown – Chaos (Original Mix) 05:58 130bpm 2A
28. Piem, Leo Wood – Messin’ Around (Extended Mix) 06:40 126bpm 5A
29. LF SYSTEM – All I’ve Got (Original Mix) 06:16 130bpm 4A
30. LF SYSTEM – Afraid To Feel (Extended) 04:49 128bpm 2A
31. Armand Van Helden – I Want Your Soul (Original Mix) 06:39 128bpm 3A
32. Mishell, Kinna Mone – Lightweight (feat. Kinna Mone) (Original Mix) 05:53 124bpm 1A
33. Nic Fanciulli, Butch – I Want You (Extended Mix) 08:30 125bpm 12A
34. Shermanology – U Got Me (Original Mix) 07:23 129bpm 6B
35. Low Steppa, Crusy – Bullerengue (Extended Mix) 06:35 125bpm 2B
36. RUZE – Mister DJ (Original Mix) 06:15 128bpm 8A
37. SG Lewis, DJ Seinfeld – Simple Times (Extended Mix) 04:14 124bpm 2A
38. Life on Planets, Makez – Downstream (Original Mix) 07:03 130bpm 6B
39. Stardust – Music Sounds Better With You (Original Mix) 06:43 124bpm 7A
40. Cool Jack – Just Come (Marco Lys Extended Remix) 06:01 128bpm 8A
41. Armand Van Helden, Mark Knight – The Music Began To Play (Extended Mix) 05:04 127bpm 8A
42. MD X-Spress – God Made Me Phunky (Jess Bays Extended Remix) 07:23 128bpm 1A
43. DJ Minx – Don’t Do It To Me (Extended Mix) 05:28 125bpm 12B
44. RUZE – Trip (Original Mix) 07:30 129bpm 10B
45. Carlita – Cash For Love (Extended Mix) 06:31 125bpm 12A
46. Sweet Female Attitude, Peverell – Hardly Breathe (Windy City Classics Remix) 05:24 126bpm 10A
47. Detlef – MoFo (Original Mix) 05:25 130bpm 5A
48. CamelPhat, Elderbrook – Cola (Original Mix) 06:55 122bpm 6B
49. HoneyLuv – Right Spot (Dennis Ferrer Remix) 06:03 127bpm 1A
50. Todd Edwards, Shermanology, Rudimental – Rain (Extended Mix) 07:04 130bpm 12A
51. Michael Gray – The Weekend (Extended Vocal Mix) 08:08 127bpm 9A
52. The Shapeshifters – Body Music (Extended Mix) 06:45 124bpm 9A
53. Earth n Days – The Kinda Love (CASSIMM Extended Remix) 05:13 127bpm 2B
54. Jaded – Welcome To The People (Extended) 05:27 124bpm 3B
55. The Blessed Madonna, Joy Anonymous, Danielle Ponder – Carry Me Higher (Elite Mix (10 Inch Version)) 07:08 127bpm 11A
56. PAWSA – Dog Days (Original Mix) 05:38 131bpm 8A
57. Easttown – Passion (Original Mix) 06:02 130bpm 12A
58. Fish Go Deep, Tracey K – The Cure & The Cause (Idris Elba Extended Remix) 05:53 125bpm 11A
59. MK, Sonny Fodera, Clementine Douglas – Asking (feat. Clementine Douglas) (Extended Mix) 05:19 127bpm 9A
60. Weiss (UK) – Feel My Needs (Purple Disco Machine Extended Mix) 06:22 122bpm 2A
61. Franky Rizardo, Cara Melín – Make My Body Move (Original Mix) 05:23 132bpm 8B
62. Deetron – Runnin’ (Original Mix) 07:05 127bpm 9A
63. Sem Jacobs, Tagmann – Jiggy Jerry (Original Mix) 05:23 132bpm 4B
64. Jamie Jones – Lose My Mind (Extended Mix) 07:00 124bpm 5B
65. Ron Carroll, GW Harrison – House Revelation (Extended Mix) 06:19 128bpm 5A
66. Agoria, Rami Khalife, Noémie – Teardrops (Don’t stop The Music) (Nick Morgan Remix) 07:09 124bpm 3A
67. D Stone – Total Unison (Original Mix) 08:04 127bpm 2B
68. RUZE – Come Together (Original Mix) 07:08 126bpm 6A
69. Mishell – Home (Original Mix) 06:05 126bpm 8A
70. II Faces – New Past (Extended Mix) 06:23 124bpm 1A
71. CHAN (US) – All I Need (Extended Mix) 04:51 125bpm 8A
72. Jho Roscioli – Supermodel Thick (Original Mix) 05:26 130bpm 10A
73. Indeep – Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life (Smeddles More Ass Mix) 06:10 126bpm 11A
74. Jackmaster – Don’t You Want My Lovin’ (Original Mix) 05:57 128bpm 8B
75. Saison – Deliver You (Austin Ato Remix (Extended)) 04:53 125bpm 10B
76. ATFC – U Got Me (Extended Mix) 06:10 125bpm 5A
77. Rui Da Silva, PAX – Touch Me (PAX & Rui Da Silva Extended Version) 06:46 126bpm 4A
78. Afro Medusa – Pasilda (Knee Deep Club Mix) 07:06 127bpm 6A
79. Armand Van Helden – U Don’t Know Me feat. Duane Harden (Original Mix) 08:06 130bpm 7B
80. Justin Martin, Galen – Dark Matter (Extended) 06:46 125bpm 10A
81. OFFAIAH – Hands (Extended Mix) 06:36 126bpm 8B
82. Luuk Van Dijk – Take Me For A Ride (Original Mix) 05:39 128bpm 4A
83. Steve Bug – Tweak It (Like This) (Original Mix) 06:55 126bpm 9A
84. Tiesto, Zerb, Sofiya Nzau – Mwaki (Tiësto’s VIP Mix) 02:40 128bpm 6A
85. Ranger Trucco – More Bells (Original Mix) 06:22 127bpm 11A
86. Elliot Schooling, Liam Palmer, Gabrielle Alexis – Submission (L.P. Rhythm Extended Remix) 06:20 133bpm 2A
87. Samer Soltan – Hurricane (Original Mix) 05:04 125bpm 2A
88. BLOND:ISH – Call My Name (Extended Mix) 05:02 124bpm 8A
89. Lee Cabrera, Kevin McKay, Bleech – Gimme Gimme Feat. Bleech (Extended Club Mix) 06:55 126bpm 7A
90. Demuir – The music in space (DJ Sneak’s Big Bawse Dub Remix) 07:21 126bpm 2A
91. Mark Knight, Green Velvet, James Hurr – The Greatest Thing Alive (Extended Mix) 06:04 122bpm 8A
92. Jamie Jones – My Paradise (Vintage Culture Extended Remix) 05:33 128bpm 3A
93. Bonkers – Pilsplaat (Original Mix) 03:05 125bpm 12A
94. Ridney – The Inside (Capri Extended Remix) 06:46 124bpm 9A
95. Jack Wostear – I Need A Rhythm (Original Mix) 05:32 130bpm 4A
96. Ferreck Dawn, Clementine Douglas, Meduza – I Got Nothing (Ferreck Dawn Extended Mix) 05:23 125bpm 1A
97. Larse – A Part Of (Riva Starr Extended Saturn Mix) 05:47 126bpm 7A
98. Diego Donati, Frank Hernandez – Walkin (Extended mix) 04:16 128bpm 7A
99. Jaded, Dombresky – Sound Of The Drums (Extended) 05:40 130bpm 11B
100. Jamie Jones, Kah-lo – Fine Fine Baby (Extended Mix) 06:29 124bpm 8B

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

My friend group turned out to be incredibly toxic. We have had several situations in which a very specific couple was involved Let's call them Mia (f18) and David (m19). Well, these guys caused several problems in which they conveniently turned out to be the victims, however, i didn't really paid attention to this. About 4 moths ago, i had a problem with them since David was cheating on Mia with my bestie's sister. It was an awful thing, and a lot of misunderstandings happened. I realized that i could have done a lot of things differently, and apologized to the people i had to apologized, however, i always did all of this for the sake of Mia. Little did i knew she was a complete nightmare, and they totally deserved each other.
Anyways, back to the main issue, after all of that happened, things started to go like a rollercoaster, and they would constantly go in a cycle of treating me nicely and then bad. They would always change the versions of the stories, or actually invent stuff for absolutely no reason, specially Mia. So im pretty much at my limit, and i really don't think i can hold more on treating them right and not punch them in the face. My boyfriend is the one that i have been trusting on the most, and the one that roots for me and helps me keep calm after they do any type of crap, and even after they have said mean things about him, he stills treats them like causal friends, but im not exactly sure if i want to do the same. I mean, i have been doing it for the last 2 or so moths, but i believe i deserve better and i want to leave high school with a better version of myself, that including cutting off ties with people i no longer want in my life.
I only have a month left of school, but its getting really tiring and annoying to bear with them. My problem here is that i really considered them good friends, and it's turning out quite hard to just ignore their presence and move on. Which way do i help me find a way to move on?

Article on Other Fixers in Hollywood - Twigger Warnings: threats, fixers, SA
Patricia Douglas was not a name like Loretta Young, and that’s the way she wanted it. The young dancer ended up in Hollywood only because her mother harbored dreams of designing movie costumes.
As David Stenn wrote in Vanity Fair, “she did not drink, date, or dream of film fame.” But she had appeared in musicals for Warner Brothers and Columbia Pictures, which is how she came across an MGM casting call in 1937. While she believed it was for another dancing role in a movie, it was actually for a party.
The party was part of a five-day sales convention to celebrate MGM’s big year. This particular bash, according to the convention schedule obtained by Vanity Fair, was ...
After Douglas arrived at the studio-owned “ranch” with 120 other dancers in short cowgirl outfits, she slowly realized she’d been bused over as a plaything for drunk, lecherous businessmen. One of them was especially interested in her. Douglas found David Ross creepy from the start, and tried to dodge him by escaping to the ladies’ room. But when she reentered the party, he and another man, by her recollection, held her down and poured liquor down her throat. She broke free to throw up in the bathroom and stumble outside for fresh air. It was there that Ross found her, dragged her to his car, and raped her.
Douglas was taken to the hospital and examined by a doctor practically owned by MGM. None of the cops at the party bothered to file a criminal report. Undeterred, she filed a complaint against Ross with the Los Angeles district attorney’s office and took her story to the press.
Mannix, who had been at the party, leapt to defend MGM.
He systematically strong-armed potential witnesses into slandering Douglas.
She was painted as a lying lush, despite the fact that she never drank.
Some who had previously given statements supporting her claims would not repeat them in court. Her criminal case failed, and MGM also succeeded in stalling her civil suit (which named Mannix).
She tried one more time, only for her own lawyer to betray her. There was no other recourse, and her story was effectively erased for decades.
When later asked about Douglas, Mannix supposedly joked, “We had her killed.”
Strickling and Mannix’s fixer days ended in the 1960s.
Another Fixer, Otash:
Due to Otash’s reputation, his sensational stories were often questioned—sometimes by the man himself. Although Otash told associates he rushed to Lana Turner’s home the night her boyfriend Johnny Stompanato was stabbed by her daughter Cheryl Crane, and even removed the knife from the body, Otash dismissed the story in a 1991 interview. “Beverly Hills police chief Clinton Anderson once accused me of..."
**They claimed Mannix read every telegraph and all communications into/out of MGM Studios.**
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/old-hollywood-fixers

Or is anyone else picturing LITERAL Jess Mariano aka the bad boy Gilmore boyfriend with the traumatic past who also works service industry as MILES👀👀👀👀👀????? Also reading this book with Milo ventimiglia in my head as miles is 10/10 do recommend 🥰🥰😍😍😍😛😛😛😛 🤤 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 also some of the towns people remind me of Gilmore towns people. No wonder I love this book lol

Hi all! I recently made a playlist of podcast clips all about the History of Improv, and Jesse David Fox (who hosts Vulture's "Good One" podcast) introduces all the clips! Here is the link to the playlist, enjoy! https://harkaudio.com/history-improv-260005

My boyfriend’s roommate and I have become quite close as I spend many nights at his place and the three of us often hang out together. She is one of his closest friends, being a part of his group of longtime friends, which I have only relatively recently been introduced to. She and I get along very well and often spend time with him together, watching movies, playing games, going out, etc. She is very sweet and empathetic generally, always trying to consider the feelings of others when making her decisions. However, my being deeply affiliated with my Jewish and Israeli heritage has driven a wedge between us. Her family is Persian, Muslim and live in Kuwait. As such, her beliefs are centered in this perspective.
Anyway, bringing the story to present, the day before Mother’s Day, I complained to my boyfriend’s roommate about a situation that was bothering me. We live in a college town that is about an hour away from the nearest big city, where most of the more intense protests are happening. My mother wanted to spend Mother’s Day at a pro-Israel counter protest in the city and bring my younger sister, who having a large age gap from me, is not yet out of elementary school. I thought that this would be inappropriate, not because I didn't believe in the cause, but rather A) I would rather spend Mother’s Day in a calm environment, appreciating my family rather than getting called names by livid protesters and B) I think it’s highly inappropriate to bring a child to a protest where they could potentially be injured or exposed to hateful rhetoric from either side. So I joked with my boyfriends roommate that although I supported my mom in expressing her beliefs, I didn’t think it would be constructive to tie an Israeli flag around my neck on Mother’s Day for people to berate me. Her response honestly disgusted me so much I didn’t know what to say. She said, “ I mean you’re basically doing the same thing already by wearing your necklace”. Taken aback, I responded with something along the lines of,” I wear this as I am proud of my Jewish heritage, which has nothing to do with the actions of the Israeli government and if someone sees me as a target because of it, that is their problem. I will not take it off to accommodate their ignorance.” After that, I attempted to have a conversation with her about the conflict and our respective connections to it, but she seemed disinterested and annoyed.
I will also note that she had been handing out watermelon pins to guests at the house, which one could easily say the same about.
I have been feeling very uncomfortable speaking about anything related to Israel at the house or with our mutual friends, even when it is not related to the conflict. I am honestly just seeking perspective on what to do in this situation and how I should talk to my boyfriend about this…
TL;DR: My boyfriend's roommate and I have grown close, but my being of Israeli/Jewish heratige and her being of Arab/ Muslim descent has caused tension. I shared with her my discomfort about my mom wanting to take my little sister to a pro-Israel protest on Mother's Day. When I joked about not wanting to be targeted, she made a hurtful comment about my Jewish necklace. I tried discussing our perspectives on the conflict, but she seemed uninterested. Now, I feel uneasy talking about anything related to Israel around her and our friends.

I grew up in a rural hilly area where there weren't many kids around, but across the road (not a street, this was country), lived Wesley, who was my age. We were playmates by default. His house was up the hill; my house was down the hill. Our front porches faced each other. We rode the school bus together. My great-aunt babysat us both. He was my first "friend" outside of my brother.
In kindergarten, my aunt was babysitting us when my older male cousins begin making fun of Wesley, telling him I was his girlfriend. They dared him to kiss me, and he was eager to prove he was cool. So the boy cousins helped him push me into a closet with him, and Wesley used the giant rubber tarantula toy I was afraid of to force me into kissing him. I cried so hard. My whole family called him my "boyfriend" through elementary school.
Wesley didn't grow up with much hope, and by high school he had a baby, a drug problem, and an arrest record. Still, I cared about him. When you grow up in the middle of nowhere with very few kids, you feel protective of them, even if they haven't always protected you.
I left home at 18 -- went to college and never came back. Wesley did more drugs, more crimes. He was arrested in connection with several murders, including a neighbor and a toddler. He was in and out of prison constantly. He cooked meth in the barn and beat his mother. I would visit home and he would wave from up on the hill.
My parents began talking about the likelihood that he would eventually break into their home, looking for guns or drugs. They were realistic about the possibility of having to shoot him, though they obviously didn't want to.
A few years ago, his cousin (also a neighbor) was home from surgery and healing. He broke into her home, beat her, then tried to rape her. She was badly hurt but managed to hit him hard enough with her crutches to escape him and call the police.
Within a few months, it came to be known in the community that Wesley was raping his elderly mother regularly in their home. She admitted to it and said it was easier to "let it happen" than to try and "keep him off." Wesley admitted to it during one of his stays in prison. No charges ever came about.
Last year, he began watching my parents' house more obviously. Then following my mother on her walks. Then acting more menacing, coming onto their property and damaging things. He was perching under trees at our neighbor's house so he could look in the windows at night, including my mother's bedroom.
My mother began wearing a pistol 24/7 within the home. She's 62. Finally, he was arrested for stalking charges, and the sheriff said he'd be in for a year.
Somehow, he got out early. Today, he's on his porch, watching my parents' house. They talked to the sheriff and the county attorney, both of whom said, more or less, "If you shoot him, no one will care. Just make sure you shoot him plenty of times."
I'm in another state, researching exterior cameras and trying to find the time to drive 6+ hours down to them so I can install these. Not to prevent anything, really, but to document it. And I keep having flashbacks to that rubber tarantula in the closet.
He's just one of them. There were more. There was David, who pretended to be the friend of my deceased brother but took me out to the woods. There were the old perverts who came into my fast food job as a teenager to say dirty things, and the one who tried to pull me into his car through the drive thru window. Junior, who wouldn't hear no.
Bears aint shit in comparison to the evil that lives in some men.

Trying to make friends, I just want a best bud who smokes/vapes/whatever. Actually read my post and if you message me, tell me what we have in common, thanks. I’m not going to respond to just “hi”. I have so much to respond to here, put effort into it. 💜
Some random facts about me: I am a stoner. Drip coffee kills my stomach. I haven't seen my best friend in like 15 years and man, that hurts just to type. I love nature, but not in a I like to go hiking way. I’m an artist. I drive a Honda Civic. My dog’s name is Sally, after Lay Down Sally by Eric Clapton. I don’t like bananas.
I just turned 40 last week, which feels pretty crazy. Growing up is weird! What's even crazier to me is I just broke up with my boyfriend and right before that, I moved back in with my parents! How did I get here? (I'll tell you later.)
red flags (mine): 🚩 I'm going through a lot right now. 🦸🏻‍♀️ Thor: Ragnarok is probably a top 10 movie for me.
green flags (also mine): 💚 I love the Simpsons. 🤮 I'm childfree. 🌵 I’m cultured.
red flags (yours): 📈 You're younger than 35 or older than 45. 🦸🏻‍♂️ You're boring.
green flags (yours): 🐲 You've done the extended editions LOTR marathon. 🍀 You're kind and genuine. 🧌 You are a good conversationalist.
🧊 Some custom designed free icebreakers for you to use: 🧊 🗣️ I love Talking Heads. The ultimate workout is do everything David Byrne does in Stop Making Sense until you die about 2 minutes into Making Flippy Floppy. 🎸 I love Billy Strings. He’s my newest musical obsession. Dude's insane! Someone on YouTube said "giving Billy Strings an electric guitar is like giving Mike Tyson a baseball bat" and I love that. 🎵 I love music in general. It’s really important to me. I would say my tastes are varying and esoteric. I don’t really like any single genre over another. My fave is Sufjan Stevens. 🖼️ I love museums. Art is everything. I would say the most awe inspiring museum I’ve been to is the Cairo Museum. It’s crazy, they just have artifacts everywhere, at the time most wasn’t even behind glass, it was incredible. Yes, I got to see King Tut, that was humbling. 🦇 I love What We Do In The Shadows. If you’re Kayvan Novak, please hit me up.
I’m not looking for anything more than a friend. Don’t make it weird. Let’s get high together!

This is the second half of my list for Oklahoma's execution roster. As mentioned in the first part, I broke it in half to comply with reddit's character limitations. For the link to part 1, please click here.
The currently executed 124 offenders, cases 63-124:
63. Robert Knighton (~1960s-2003, lethal injection): In 1973, after being released from a 1968 armed robbery conviction, Knighton went on his first major crime spree. He stabbed and strangled several men and women during many robberies and home invasions. The only victim that was killed, 32 year old Coffier Day, was shot dead while Knighton was arguing with him in his home. Coffier's father, 53 year old Claude, was also injured in the shooting. Knighton's first crime spree ended when he kidnapped a married couple and their 6 year old daughter. They escaped when the wife and mother of the family attacked Knighton with a knife to protect her husband and daughter. The family then notified the police of their abduction. Knighton managed to secure a 30 year manslaughter conviction and a 10 year armed robbery conviction with a plea deal, and was released to a halfway house in 1989. There, he began dating a female addict and befriended a teenage boy. The trio embarked on a nationwide robbery spree together. In Missouri, they shot and killed 59 year old Frank Merrifield and his 40 year old stepson Roy Donahue while robbing their home, and stole guns and money from them. In Oklahoma, the trio fatally shot a couple, 64 year old Virginia and 62 year old Richard Denney, while carjacking them. Their rampage ended when a woman in Texas grow suspicious of them circling a neighborhood. Knighton had a long history of theft convictions dating back to his childhood, and joined the Aryan Brotherhood in prison. Behind bars, he frequently attacked black and Native American inmates out of racial hatred for them.
64. Kenneth Charm (1993-2003, lethal injection): Charm and his teenage cousin lured a family friend, 14 year old Brandy Hill, into their car. They raped Hill and tried strangling her with a towel. When that failed, the cousins bludgeoned her to death with a sledgehammer.
65. Lewis Gilbert II (1994-2003, lethal injection): Gilbert and his teenage accomplice committed at least 4 robbery murders in Missouri, Ohio, and Oklahoma, but he was executed for the killing of 37 year old Roxanne Ruddell. They ambushed and kidnapped Ruddell while she was fishing alone. She was robbed of $3 and her truck, tied to a tree, and shot to death. The pair also fatally shot Ruth Loader, a 79 year old Ohioan woman, while abducting her from her residence, and gunned down a Missouri couple, 86 year old William and 76 year old Flossie Brewer, in their home. Gilbert was also sentenced to death for the Brewer murders by the state of Missouri, but was incarcerated in Oklahoma State Penitentiary’s death row.
66. Robert Duckett (~1980s-2003, lethal injection): After breaking out of prison, Duckett was picked up hitchhiking by John Howard, a 53 year old store owner. Howard agreed to let Duckett stay with him until he could find a job. The pair soon had a failing out, and Duckett was evicted by his host. He retaliated by tying Howard up with wire and then beating him to death with a fireplace poker. Duckett made off with his car after he switched the license plates, and took several bank bags from his store. He had a long violent criminal history, which included several incidents of assault and robbery. One of the incidents involved the beating of an 83 year old man. Allegedly, Duckett was previously gang-raped by other inmates, and suffered from PTSD from the incident. His attorneys claimed that Howard’s sexual advances trigged those memories, and he was killed as a result of Duckett lashing out at them. However, the prosecution shot the argument down, citing that the murder happened after Duckett was evicted from the apartment.
67. Bryan Toles (1993-2003, lethal injection): Toles and his two accomplices forced themselves into the home of the Franceschi family, and shot and killed the family patriarch, 39 year old Juan, in a struggle. Juan's son, 15 year old Lonnie, was also murdered "execution style" out of fear that he could identify Toles and his accomplices. The only survivor of the attack was Norma, Juan's wife and Lonnie's mother, who escaped by hiding in her older daughter's bedroom.
68. Jackie Willingham (1994-2003, lethal injection): Willingham was a door to door salesman selling perfume in an office building. One women, 62 year old Jayne Van Wey, he tried to solicit rejected him despite his repeated offers. Angered by her "rude behavior", Willingham attacked Van Wey when they had a chance encounter near the building's restroom. He dragged Van Wey out of a stall after following her inside, slammed her head against the bathroom wall several times, and kicked her head. Reportedly, Van Wey choked to death on her own blood.
69. Harold McElmurry III (1999-2003, lethal injection): While under the influence of meth, McElmurry and his wife Vicki broke into a home that a WW2 veteran, 80 year old Robert Pendley, shared with his wife, 75 year old Rosa. Robert and Rosa were both quickly subdued and physically restrained by the couple. McElmurry clubbed Robert to death with a pipe in front of Rosa, who was forced to watch by Vicki. Vicki then held Rosa down as McElmurry stabbed her several times with scissors. After killing the Pendleys, the McElmurrys fled with $70 in cash, a pair of guns, and the victims' car. A few days after the murders, they were captured by border agents while trying to cross into Mexico.
70. Tyrone Darks (~1990s-2004, lethal injection): Darks rammed his ex wife, 26 year old Sherry Goodlow, off the road as she was driving with their 2 year old son. After Goodlow crashed, Darks pulled their son out of the wreckage, shot her to death, and then drove away with him. Just before she succumbed to her injuries, Goodlow managed to call and notify the police about her son’s abduction. The police confronted and arrested Darks at his home, and they found the boy unharmed in their search. Darks and Goodlow’s former marriage was marred with violence, and he was arrested on numerous occasions for assaulting her. On death row, Darks was involved in a scheme to defraud a foundation for 9/11 survivors.
71. Norman Cleary (~1980s-2004, lethal injection): While burglarizing an upper class home with an accomplice, Cleary shot and killed a housekeeper, 44 year old Wanda Neafus, and took her purse and a cane that her employers purchased from the Smithsonian Institution. Cleary had a long criminal history and was previously convicted of beating an 87 year old woman in her home.
72. David Brown (~1983-2004, lethal injection): For several years, Brown violently harassed his ex wife and her family. In one incident, Brown abducted his ex wife and 11 of her customers from a beauty saloon she owned, and held them hostage until he surrendered to police. He was able to leave custody on bond and went into hiding. A few years after the hostage crisis incident, Brown broke into his ex wife's family home and gunned down her father, 47 year old Eldon McGuire.
73. Hung Thanh Le (1992-2004, lethal injection): Le crept into the apartment of another Vietnamese refugee, 34 year old Hai Nguyen, and found him watching TV on the couch. He struck Nguyen from behind with a weightlifting bar, and continued stabbing him with a meat cleaver when he screamed his wife for help. Nguyen's wife phoned the police, and Le fled with the couple's safety deposit box that contained $36,000 and their wedding ring.
74. Robert Bryan (1993-2004, lethal injection): Bryan shot and killed his estranged aunt, 69 year old Mildred, dumped her body on his parents' property, and forged a $1,800 check to himself under her name.
75. Windel Workman (~1980s(?)-2004, lethal injection): Workman beat his girlfriend's daughter, 2 year old Amanda Holman, to death while babysitting her in their home. His ex wives reported that he had a history of child abuse and often violently spanked their children during their marriages.
76. Jimmie Slaughter (1991-2005, lethal injection): Fearing that she was going to tell his wife of their affair, Slaughter stabbed and shot his ex girlfriend, 29 year old Melody Wuertz, and their daughter, 1 year old Jessica. According to court documents, Slaughter mutilated both of their bodies, and he carved an "R" on Melody's stomach. He tried pinning the murders on a black man, but the investigators and the courts dismissed his allegations.
77. George Miller Jr. (1994-2005, lethal injection): During the robbery of a hotel, Miller attacked the auditor, 25 year old Kent Dodd, with a hedge shear and paint cans, and took $122 from the register. Dodd was severely beaten, had muriatic acid shoved down his throat, and was left to die. Just before he died of his injuries, Dodd gave a description of his attacker to the police that matched Miller. A massive amount of circumstantial evidence, such as wearing shoes that resembled the bloodstained footprints next to Dodd's body, a microscopic drop of blood found on his shoes that was tentatively linked to Dodd, his wife's testimony of his unaccounted absence from their home during the murder, and what appeared to be Dodd writing Miller's alias that he knew him by in his own blood, convicted him. Miller’s friends also reported that he was broke and begging them for money a day before the murder, and his wife mentioned him giving her the same amount of money that was stolen from the robbery a day after it happened.
78. Michael Pennington (1991-2005, lethal injection): Pennington shot and killed a clerk, 20 year old Bradley Grooms, while trying to rob a 7-eleven grocery store. He left empty handed when the register failed to open.
79. Kenneth Turrentine (1994-2005, lethal injection): Under the belief that they were stealing money from him for drugs, Turrentine shot and killed his sister, 48 year old Avon Stevenson, and his girlfriend, 39 year old Anita Richardson, during confrontations in their homes. He also gunned down Anita's two children, 22 year old Tina Pennington and 13 year old Martise.
80. Richard Thornburg Jr. (1996-2006, lethal injection): A month after he was shot by an unknown assailant, Thornburg and his accomplices sought revenge by abducting 5 men that he thought was responsible from a trailer. Three of the hostages, 51 year old James Poteet, 39 year old Tery Sheppard, and 24 year old Kieth Smith, were gunned down on the spot, and Thornberg forced the fourth to shoot the fifth with the threat of killing him if he didn’t comply. They then burned down the trailer with the wounded fifth victim still trapped inside, but he managed to escape with his life. Despite being forced to put all the blame on himself in exchange for being spared, the fourth hostage still went forward to the police.
81. John Boltz (1984-2006, lethal injection): To spite his estranged wife following an argument, Boltz attacked her son, 23 year old Doug Kirby, with a knife. Kirby was stabbed a total of 11 times, and he received several fatal wounds to his chest, stomach, and neck.
82. Eric Patton (1994-2006, lethal injection): Patton forced his way into the home of 56 year old Charlene Kauer after she refused his pleading for money. After dragging her around the house as he searched for valuables, Patton stabbed Kauer several times with many different blades objects at hand such as scissors, barbecue forks, and kitchen knifes. Although he confessed to the murder, Patton blamed it on alleged demonic possession and his cocaine addiction.
83. James Malicoat (1997-2006, lethal injection): Malicoat slammed Tessa Leadford, his 13 month old daughter, against a dresser. After she died from the beating, he tucked her into bed, and waited until his daughter's mother returned from work to take her to the hospital. The doctors found that Leadford had been dead for several hours at the time of her arrival, and discovered several injuries such as broken ribs, bite marks, abdominal bleeding, and facial bruising on her body. By his own account, he had abused Leadford on a daily basis. For her role in enabling her boyfriend's treatment of their daughter, Leadford's mother was convicted of first degree murder and given a life sentence.
84. Corey Hamilton (1992-2007, lethal injection): During the robbery of a restaurant, Hamilton shot and killed 4 employees, 26 year old Sandy Lara, 24 year old Stephen Williams, 19 year old Ted Kindley, and 17 year old Joseph Gooch, and made off with $2,000.
85. Jimmy Bland (~1975-2007, lethal injection): Bland shot his boss, 62 year old Doyle Rains, in the head over an argument regarding a borrowed car and dumped the body in a creek. He was previously convicted of killing a soldier, Raymond Prentice (age unknown), and abducting the man's wife and son at the age of 19. Bland served a 20 out of 60 year sentence, and murdered Rains a year after he was released.
86. Frank Welch (~1987-2008, lethal injection): In 1987, Welch attacked 28 year old Jo Cooper, who was 4 months pregnant with her second child, in her home. She was tied up with leather straps, raped and violated with plastic toys, and strangled to death. Cooper’s body was found laying near her infant son by her husband. Another woman, 32 year old Debra Stevens, was also bound, raped, and strangled to death in her home in a near identical fashion a few months later. Although both murders went unsolved for several years, Welch abducted and raped a woman in 1994, and he received a 45 year sentence for it. His DNA samples was collected and filed after his abduction conviction, and linked to both Cooper and Stevens’ murders in a 1997 test.
87. Terry Short (1995-2008, lethal injection): In an attempt to kill his ex girlfriend, Short blew up her apartment complex with a firebomb. She and her family managed to escape, but the blast killed Ken Yamamoto, a 22 year old Japanese exchange student. Yamamoto had no connections to the targeted ex girlfriend's family beyond him having the misfortune of residing in the same apartment.
88. Jessie Cummings Jr. (1991-2009, lethal injection): Cummings was a polygamist that had married and lived with two wives. Under his orders, Cummings’ wives shot and killed his estranged half sister, 46 year old Judy Mayo, and kidnapped her daughter, 11 year old Melissa. He bound his niece to his bed with handcuffs to be raped, and stabbed her to death.
89. Darwin Brown (1995-2009, lethal injection): While robbing a grocery store with three accomplices (including Billy Alverson and Michael Wilson), Brown tied up the clerk, 30 year old Richard Yost, with handcuffs, and then bludgeoned him death with a metal baseball bat. The killing was caught by security cameras, and the footage was used by the prosecution to secure the convictions of Brown and his accomplices.
90. Donald Gilson (1995-2009, lethal injection): Gilson routinely physically abused his live in girlfriend's 5 children (who were all between the ages of 8 and 12 years old). The youngest, 8 year old Shane Coffman, was beaten to death with a board for defecating on the living room carpet. He and his girlfriend then hid the body by stuffing it in a freezer. The body was kept inside it for 6 months until it was discovered by a sheriff's deputy investigating the family's abuse allegations. Gilson's girlfriend was spared the death penalty with a plea deal, and given a life sentence without the possibility of parole for her part in her son's abuse and murder.
91. Michael DeLozier (1995-2009, lethal injection): While camping with his friends, DeLozier ambushed another pair of campers, 60 year old Orville Bullard and 54 year old Paul Morgan, and shot them to death. They stole Morgan and Bullard's generator, pick up truck, and other camping gear. To cover up their tracks, DeLozier and his friends set their victims' campsite on fire, and severely burned the bodies.
92. Julius Young (1993-2010, lethal injection): For breaking off their relationship, Young beat his ex girlfriend, 20 year old Joyland Morgan and her 6 year old son Kewan, to death with a baseball bat in their apartment.
93. Donald Wackerly II (1996-2010, lethal injection): Wackerly and his wife ambushed and gunned down Pan Sayakhoummane, a 51 year old Laotian immigrant, while he was fishing in the Arkansas River. After he placed Sayakhoummane's body in the man’s own truck, he pushed into a river, and stole his fishing gear. A few months after the murder, Wackerly’s wife turned him in to the police.
94. John Duty (~1970s-2010, lethal injection): Duty was given a life sentence for abducting, raping, and non fatally shooting a female store clerk during a robbery. While incarcerated, he tricked a fellow inmate, 22 year old Curtis Wise Jr. into allowing himself to be tied up as a part of a hostage ruse, and then strangled him to death with shoelaces. At the time of his murder, Wise was serving a conviction for burglary and contributing to the delinquency of minors. Duty's execution caused some controversy for the use of pentobarbital, a drug more commonly utilized by veterinarians to euthanize pets.
95. Billy Alverson (1995-2011, lethal injection): Alverson assisted the above mentioned Darwin Brown and Micheal Wilson in the beating death of Richard Yost while robbing a convenience store.
96. Jeffrey Matthews (1994-2011, lethal injection): Matthews and his accomplice shot and killed his great uncle, 77 year old Otis Short, while robbing the man's home. In the robbery, they stole Short's truck, his .32 calibre pistol, and $500. The pair also slit the throat of Short's wife, but she survived her injuries.
97. Gary Welch (~1993-2011, lethal injection): During a fight over a drug shipment, Welch and his partner stabbed another dealer, 32 year old Robert Hardcastle, to death with broken glass bottles. He was previously convicted of battery with a deadly weapon, and was off on probation at the time of Hardcastle's murder.
98. Timothy Stemple (1996-2012, lethal injection): Stemple conspired with his girlfriend to murder his wife, 30 year old Trisha, for her life insurance policy. With the help of his girlfriend's 16 year old nephew or cousin [sources vary], Stemple beat Trisha with a baseball bat, and rammed her to death with his truck.
99. Michael Selsor (~1975-2012, lethal injection): Selsor and his accomplice went on a crime spree and robbed several convenience stores. During their robberies, the pair shot and killed two clerks, 55 year old Clayton Chandler and 20 year old Ina Morris, and injured two others in shooting and stabbing attacks.
100. Michael Hooper (~1992-2012, lethal injection): Hooper kidnapped his ex girlfriend, 23 year old Cynthia Jarman, and her children, 5 year old Timothy and 3 year old Tonya, from her boyfriend's residence. He shot all three of them dead, and buried the bodies in a rancher's field. According to court documents, Hooper was hyper-violent towards Cynthia in their year long relationship.
101. Garry Allen (1986-2012, lethal injection): Allen shot and killed his fiancee, 24 year old Lawanna Titsworth, during an argument at a day care she worked at. He fought with the responding officers trying to arrest him in an attempt to provoke a "suicide by cop" outcome. Despite the officers' best efforts to avoid harming him, Allen lost his eye from an accidental discharge. Due to claims of him having schizophrenia, Allen's execution was a source of controversy.
102. George Ochoa (~1993-2012, lethal injection): A Southside Locos gang member, Ochoa and another hoodlum shot and killed a couple, 38 year old Francisco Morales and 35 year old Maria Yanez, while burglarizing their home. The murders were witnessed by the couple's 14 year old and 10 year old children and stepchildren, who then phoned the police after the shooters' departure.
103. Steven Thacker (~1980s-2012, lethal injection): Thacker kidnapped 25 year old Laci Hill during a botched robbery of her home, and took her to a remote cabin to be raped. She was then strangled and stabbed to death. He fled to Missouri, fatally stabbed 24 year old Forrest Boyd while carjacking him, and used his car to hide out in Tennessee. After the stolen car broke down, Thacker called a tow truck to pick him up. When the driver, 52 year old Ray Patterson, found that he was using a stolen credit card, Thacker stabbed him to death as well. As a teenager, Thacker committed several acts of auto thefts and burglaries. He also engaged in inappropriate relationships with underaged girls, and was released from a Florida prison after serving time for a bad check conviction months before his murders.
104. James DeRosa (2000-2013, lethal injection): DeRosa and his accomplice tricked a couple, 73 year old Curtis and 70 year old Gloria Plummer, that he worked for on their ranch, into letting them inside their house. After they stabbed the Plummers and slit their throats, DeRosa and his accomplice stole $73 and drove away with their truck.
105. Brian Davis (2001-2013, lethal injection): Davis went searching for his girlfriend and their daughter when he found them missing from their home, and called his girlfriend's mother, 56 year old Josephine Sanford, about their whereabouts. Sanford dropped by the couple's residence after failing to find her daughter and granddaughter. At her arrival, she was raped, beaten, and stabbed to death by Davis. He then left the body in the house, drove off with Sanford’s van, and injured himself in a car accident. As Davis was high while driving, he was arrested for being under the influence. The detaining officers weren’t aware of the murder until Davis’ girlfriend returned to the home later that night, and called 911 after finding her mother’s corpse.
106. Anthony Banks (~1978-2013, lethal injection): In 1978, while robbing a grocery store, Banks shot and killed a clerk, 22 year old David Fremin. A year later, he abducted Sun Travis, a 24 year old South Korean immigrant, from a parking lot. He then sexually assaulted Travis in his car and shot her in the head. Although he was captured and convicted for Fremin's murder, Travis' killing went unsolved until a 1997 DNA test. Banks was originally sentenced to death for Fremin's murder, but it was lifted in favor of a life sentence. He was condemned for a second time after his conviction for Travis' murder.
107. Ronald Lott (~1980s-2013, lethal injection): A sexual predator of elderly women, Lott broke into the homes of 93 year old Zelma Cutler and 83 year old Anna Fowler after cutting off their power. They were tied up with cloth, anally penetrated, beaten, and suffocated to death with pillowcases. The case attracted controversy when another man was erroneously condemned for the murders, and he spent 11 years on death row until a 1997 DNA test linked the murders to Lott. At the time of the discovery, Lott was serving time for two rape convictions.
108. Johnny Black (~1984-2013, lethal injection): Black, two of his brothers, and two other men went looking for a man they feuded with for a fight. While they were crusing on the road, the group encountered a rancher, 54 year old Bill Pogue, and mistook him for their target due to them driving similar vehicles. They forced Poque off the road, pulled him out of his car, and stabbed him a total of 10 times. Pogue's son in law was also dragged out and attacked, but he managed to escape with his life. Black was previously convicted of manslaughter for shooting 49 year old Cecil Martin dead in an argument.
109. Michael Wilson (1995-2014, lethal injection): Wilson was the third participant in the above mentioned beating death of Richard Yost to be executed.
110. Kenneth Hogan (1988-2014, lethal injection): Hogan stabbed 21 year old Lisa Stanley to death while she was babysitting his children. According to autopsy reports, she was stabbed at least 25 times. Stanley had previously accused him of sexual misconduct, and prosecutors believed that she was killed during an argument over the allegations.
111. Clayton Lockett (~1992-2014, lethal injection): Lockett, his cousin, and another accomplice kidnapped 23 year old Bobby Bornt, 18 year old Summer Hair, and Bornt's 9 month son after burglarizing a home. After tying them up with duct tape, they forced their captives to lure a friend, 19 year old Stephanie Neiman, with a phone call. Neiman was also bound and initially survived getting shot multiple times. Out of frustration, Lockett buried her alive, and she succumbed to a combination of suffocation and her injuries. Lockett and his accomplices also gang-raped Hair and beat Bornt, but spared them on the forced condition of their silence. His execution was controversial, as Lockett convulsed for 45 minutes after being injected, and then died from a heart attack. He also had a long criminal history, and was first arrested for burglary as a teenager.
112. Charles Warner (1997-2015, lethal injection): Warner raped his girlfriend's daughter, 11 month old Adriana Waller, and shook her to death. His execution sparked outcry, as the wrong fatal drug was administered by mistake, and Warner complained of "burning pain" as he was being injected. With the botched executions of Lockett and Warner back to back, the state of Oklahoma delayed further executions until 2021.
113. John Grant (~1970s-2021, lethal injection): While serving a 130 year sentence for armed robbery, Grant stabbed a prison cafeteria worker, 58 year old Gay Carter, to death. He had a long criminal history dating back to the ag e of 11, had several previous convictions of theft and armed robbery, and frequently fought with and assaulted other inmates behind bars. Due to reports of "adverse reactions" to the lethal drugs, Grant's execution was scrutinized by a number of national media outlets.
114. Bigler Stouffer II (1985-2021, lethal injection): Stouffer shot and killed his ex girlfriend, 35 year old Linda Reaves, in her boyfriend's home for breaking up with him. Reaves' boyfriend was also seriously injured in the shooting.
115. Donald Grant (2001-2022, lethal injection): During a robbery of a hotel, Grant fatally shot, stabbed, and bludgeoned two employees, 43 year old Felicia Smith and 29 year old Brenda McElyea, and ran off with $1,500. He spent $200 of the stolen on paying for his girlfriend's bail.
116. Gilbert Postelle (~1998-2022, lethal injection): Postelle’s father was badly injured in a motorcycle accident, and they suspected that 57 year old James Anderson, 56 year old Terry Smith, 49 year old Donnie Swindler, and 26 year old Amy Wright were deliberately involved. Out a desire for vengeance, he recruited Postelle, his other son, and another man to kill them. All four victims were fatally gunned down in what was described as a “blitz attack” on their trailer. He was an addict and had several arrests for drug possession and manufacturing dating back to the age of 12.
117. James Coddington (1997-2022, lethal injection): After robbing a grocery store, Coddington went to the home of a friend and co worker, 73 year old Albert Hale, to ask for money. When Hale turned him down, Coddington retaliated by beating him with a claw hammer. Coddington stole $525 and went on to rob 5 more grocery stores. Hale was left alone with his injures for nearly an entire day until he was discovered by his son, and died in the hospital a day later.
118. Benjamin Cole Sr. (2002-2022, lethal injection): Out of anger that her crying interrupted his Nintendo game, Cole beat his daughter from his second wife, 9 month old Brianna, to death. He was previously convicted of abusing his son from a different marriage in California.
119. Richard Fairchild (1996-2023, lethal injection): Fairchild got into a fight with his girlfriend’s 17 year old daughter after making drunken sexual passes at her, and was enraged that she left with a cab driver. He took his anger out on the girl’s younger brother, 3 year old Adam Broomhall, and scalded him with a wall heater. He then repeatedly hit the boy, threw him against a table, and fatally hemorrhaged his head. Bromhall received over 26 blows during the beating.
120. Scott Eizember (2003-2023, lethal injection): Eizember snuck into his ex girlfriend's house to lie in wait for her. However, her roommates, 76 year old A.J. Cantrell and his 70 year old wife Patsy, arrived home earlier then she did. He shot and beat them both to death and then fled the scene.
121. Jemaine Cannon (1995-2023, lethal injection): Cannon was put in prison for assaulting an unidentified woman. He managed to escape and stabbed his girlfriend, 20 year old Sharonda Clark, to death in her apartment.
122. Anthony Sanchez (1996-2023, lethal injection): Sanchez kidnapped 21 year old Jewell Busken from her apartment complex, and then raped and shot her to death. He amassed a following from the anti death penalty movement for claiming that his father was responsible, but such notions were debunked following a 2023 DNA test that concluded Sanchez’s guilt.
123. Phillip Hancock (~1982-2023, lethal injection): In 1982, Hancock shot a drug dealer, 27 year old Charles Warren, dead in a dispute over stolen jewelry and was given a manslaughter conviction for it. He was released after serving a 2 year term. About 17 years later, he shot and killed 58 year old James Lynch III and 37 year old Robert Jett Jr. in a drug house. Despite an eyewitness account describing Lynch and Jett begging for their lives, the case attracted scrutiny when Hancock's attorneys claimed that the shootings were done in self defense.
124. Michael Smith (~2002-2024, lethal injection): A member of the Oak Grove Posse gang, Smith was responsible for two separate fatal shootings on the same day. In one of his murders, he killed Sharath Pulluru, a 24 year old Indian immigrant that worked as a clerk, while robbing a gas station. The other murder occurred when he tried to confront a gang member that he thought was a police informant in his apartment, and gunned down the target’s mother, 40 year old Janet Miller-Moore, when she refused to give away her son’s location. Smith was also given a life sentence for delivering a gun to a shooter that carried out another gang killing.

This is the list that I wrote for Oklahoma's execution roster since the nationwide reinstatement of capital punishment in the late 1970s. Something that should be mentioned is that given the nature of many death penalty related crimes, many of the descriptions contain very disturbing details. Please read at your own risk.
Florida's list is next, and I'll post my list for Texas once I've completed it. With Texas, I've currently finished 464 entries out of the 587 cases to date. That will probably take 7 or 8 posts for it all to be released, so I'll probably do two posts a day with Texas to avoid spamming the sub. At the end of this year, I'll repost the states that have conducted further executions with the updated information.
As with Missouri and Virginia, Reddit's maximum character count limitations forced me to divide Oklahoma's list into two separate parts. Here is the link to part 2.
The currently 124 executed offenders, cases 1 to 62:
1. Charles Coleman (~1950s-1990, lethal injection): A month after he was released on parole in 1979, Coleman broke into a house. While sacking it for any valuables, the homeowner’s brother and sister in law, 68 year old John and 62 year old Roxie Seward, walked in on him and were both shot dead. Coleman stole Roxie’s purse, several packets of frozen meat, and the homeowner’s watch during the burglary, and was arrested shortly afterwards. However, Coleman managed to escape custody, and went on a rampage that involved several burglaries, auto thefts, slitting the throat of a policeman in a failed murder attempt, the shooting death of 49 year old Russell Lewis Jr. in a carjacking, and the abduction of a deputy. The kidnapped deputy was rescued following an armed standoff with other police officers. Coleman had an extensive history of animal cruelty, armed robberies, assaults, and carrying concealed weapons convictions dating back to when he was 11 years old. He was also heavily suspected in the murder of his teenage girlfriend’s father, but was acquitted by the courts despite the prosecution’s strong belief in his guilt.
2. Robyn Parks (1977-1992, lethal injection): During a gas station robbery, Parks shot and killed Abdullah Ibrahim, a 24 year old Bangladeshi immigrant that worked as the attendant. According to Parks, he murdered Ibrahim for catching him using a stolen credit card.
3. Olan Randle (1980-1992, lethal injection): Randle invaded a home and shot the occupants, 41 year old Robert Swinford, Sinford's fiance 42 year old Averil Bourque, and Bourque's friend 38 year old Julia Lovejoy, dead. He took a pocket knife and several watches from the victims.
4. Thomas Grasso (~1970s(?)-1995, lethal injection): While living in Oklahoma, Grasso strangled 87 year old Hilda Johnson, the best friend of his girlfriend's grandmother, to death with her Christmas lights. He took $8 from her purse, several coins that added up to $4, and a television set that he sold for $125. Grasso then moved to New York, and strangled 81 year old Leslie Holtz for his social security check. The trialing arrangements caused some controversy, as the New York governors at the time were anti death penalty, and tried to prevent Grasso's extradition in favor of giving him a life sentence in their jurisdiction. Grasso had several previous convictions for theft and was fired multiple times for stealing from his jobs.
5. Roger Stafford (~1974(?)-1995, lethal injection): Stafford was condemned for killing at least 9 people in two separate robbery incidents with his brother and ex wife, though his ex wife claimed that he was involved with as many as 34 murders nationwide. The first convicted incident was when he and the ex wife carjacked and fatally shot a couple, 38 year old Melvin and 31 year old Linda Lorenz, and their son, 12 year old Richard. A few weeks after the Lorenz murders, Stafford stormed a restaurant and gunned down 6 employees, 56 year old Isaac Freeman, 43 year old Louis Zacarias, 17 year old Anthony Tew, 17 year old David Lindsey, 16 year old David Salsman, and 15 year old Terri Horst. One of Stafford's additional attributed victims was 20 year old Jimmy Berry, who was killed in the hold up of an Alabaman McDonalds, but he wasn't charged by the state due to his death sentences in Oklahoma.
6. Robert Brecheen (1983-1995, lethal injection): Breechen was involved in a feud over money with 59 year old Mary Stubbs and her husband. In an attempt to take what he perceived was owed to him, Breechen carried out a night time burglary of their home. While rummaging through the house, Breechen stumbled upon old Marie in her living room and shot her to death. The gunshots and screams awoke her husband, and he chased him away with his own gun.
7. Benjamin Brewer (1978-1996, lethal injection): Brewer raped his neighbor, 20 year old Karen Stapleton, in her home and stabbed her to death
8. Steven Hatch (1979-1996, lethal injection): Hatch and another assailant, Glen Ake, forced themselves inside the home that Richard Dougass, a 43 year old reverend, shared with his wife, 36 year old Marilyn, and their two children, 16 year old Brooks and 12 year old Lesile. The pair tied up the family and raped Lesile in front of her parents and brother. All four family members were shot, and Hatch and Ake ran off with $43 and the parents’ wedding rings. Richard and Marilyn were both killed in the shootings, while their children survived the attack. Ake was also initially condemned for the attack, but his sentence was overturned and resentenced to life following mental health concerns, and passed away from undisclosed natural causes in 2011.
9. Scott Carpenter (1994-1997, lethal injection): In a convenience store robbery, Carpenter stabbed the owner, 56 year old A. J. Kelley, in the neck, and hid the body in the minnow room. He filled his truck with $37 worth of gas from the pumps and drove away from the scene. His execution caused some controversy, as it was reported that Carpenter gasped and spasmed for 11 minutes after being injected.
10. Michael Long (1997-1998, lethal injection): Enraged that his coworker, 24 year old Sheryl Graber, refused him sex and started screaming for help, he stabbed her over 31 times. Long also shot and killed her son, 5 year old Andrew, for being a witness.
11. Stephen Wood (1992-1998, lethal injection): While heavily intoxicated, Wood stabbed two other homeless men, 46 year old Charles Stephen and 34 year old Charles Von Johnson, dozens of times each. He was given a life sentence for both of their murders. During his incarceration, Robert Brigden, a 59 year old former minister that was serving a 40 year sentence for molesting several girls between the ages of 4-14 in his congregation, moved into his unit after refusing to go into protective custody. Woods killed Brigden in a stabbing attack, and his sentence was escalated to death by the courts for it.
12. Tuan Anh Nguyen (~1982-1998, lethal injection): By all accounts, Nguyen was jealously possessive over his wife, 21 year old Donna. During one of their arguments over his behavior, he stabbed Donna, her 6 year old nephew Joseph White, and her 3 year old niece Amanda White, in their home and left the bodies to be found by the children’s parents. He fled to Arizona, groomed a 14 year old girl into an illicit “relationship”, and impregnated her. After he convinced her to move in with him, Nguyen physically and sexually abused the girl until she fled and went to the local police for help. Nguyen was then deported back to Oklahoma to face trial for Donna and the White children’s slayings, and was sentenced to death for them.
13. John Duvall (1986-1998, lethal injection): During a fight with his wife, 30 year old Donna, Duvall stabbed and suffocated her to death with a pillow.
14. John Castro Sr. (1983-1999, lethal injection): Castro carjacked Beulah Cox, a 31 year old Oklahoma State University student, after she picked him up hitchhiking and shot her to death. A few months later, Castro held up a restaurant with an empty pistol, and attacked the manger, 29 year old Rhonda Pappan, after forcing her to open the register. During their struggle, Pappan was fatally stabbed, and he took off with her purse. During his mid teens, Castro was allegedly molested by his mother. Castro's attorneys made the argument that his glimpses of Cox's buttocks reminded him of his mother's reported abuse, and he was triggered into attacking her for it.
15. Sean Sellers (1985-1999, lethal injection): In 1985, a then 15 year old Sellers tried to buy beer from a convenience store, but the clerk, 32 year old Robert Bower, denied him due to being underaged at the time. Sellers gunned him down in a fit of rage. A year later, Sellers shot and killed his mother, 32 year old Vonda Bellofatto, and stepfather, 43 year old Paul, in their sleep. Due to being 16 at the time of his conviction, Sellers remains the youngest condemned offender to have his sentence carried out in the post Furman era. He also attracted national media attention for claiming that his crimes were the result of demonic possession.
16. Scotty Moore (1983-1999, lethal injection): Moore was fired from a motel for undisclosed reasons. In retaliation, Moore and a cousin (whom he was dating at the time), assaulted the motel, and gunned down the desk clerk, 42 year old Alex Fernandez. According to court documents, the pair took a total of $97 in the robbery.
17. Norman Newsted (1984-1999, lethal injection): Newsted tricked Lawrence Buckley, a 26 year old cab driver, into picking him up. He shot Buckley dead and took his wallet. In an attempt to cover his tracks, Newsted placed the body inside the cab, and drove it into a creek near a local church. Despite his best efforts, Buckley’s cab and remains were discovered a day later by the church’s pastor.
18. Cornel Cooks (1982-1999, lethal injection): Cooks and his accomplice broke into the home of 87 year old Jennie Ridling. She was gagged, raped, and suffocated to death with gauze wrappings. According to autopsy reports, the pair abused her for over 2 hours. They then sacked the house for any valuables and left with her checkbook.
19. Bobby Ross (1983-1999, lethal injection): While robbing an inn, Ross fatally shot a police officer, 30 year old Steve Mahan, that tried to intervene.
20. Malcolm Johnson (~1970s(?)-2000, lethal injection): Johnson invaded the apartment of 76 year old Ura Thompson and sexually assaulted her. Thompson either died from having her chest compounded during the abuse or was suffocated by Johnson’s hands covering her nose. He seized several possessions such as furs, typewriters, purse, watch, rings, and a hand mirror, which were discovered by police in his residence during an unrelated investigation of a firearms possession charge. Johnson had an extensive criminal history, which included several convictions of rape, armed robberies, and burglaries. The case attracted controversy when it was discovered that the lead chemist in the investigation misconducted several of her other cases, and forged some of the evidence used in the trial. Despite the other overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Johnson’s supporters took the opportunity to push a narrative of his innocence.
21. Gary Walker (~1960s-2000, lethal injection): Walker abducted, raped, and murdered at least 5 women, 36 year old Margaret Lydick, 35 year old Jane Hilburn, 32 year old Janet Jewell, 25 year old Valerie Shaw-Hartzell, and 24 year old DeRonda Roy, and non fatally assaulted several other women and teenage girls. The victims were mostly strangled to death with their bras and panties. Some of them were forced to withdraw hundreds of dollars from ATMs before they were killed. He also strangled a man, 63 year old Eddie Cash, with an electrical cord while robbing his home. Walker had dozens of previous convictions for burglary, carjacking, drug possession, and carrying concealed weapons. Some of his earliest arrests occurred when he was a teenager.
22. Michael Roberts (~1988-2000, lethal injection): A career burglar, Roberts was condemned for murder of 80 year old Lula Brooks. She was raped and her throat was slit by an intruder in her home. Roberts' death sentence and execution has been contested, as he was convicted on his later recounted testimony alone. He claimed that the investigators tricked him into confessing with the promise of a plea deal that was allegedly withheld from him.
23. Kelly Rogers (1990-2000, lethal injection): Rogers’ girlfriend lured 21 year old Karen Lauffenburger into her apartment with a fake pizza order. They accosted her when she arrived with the delivery. After the couple forced Lauffenburger to hand to over the $40 she earned from the night's pizza deliveries and withdraw $175 from an ATM, Rogers raped and stabbed her to death. The body was left in Lauffenburger’s apartment and was found by her boyfriend.
24. Ronald Boyd (1986-2000, lethal injection): During a robbery spree of several gas stations and supermarkets, Boyd engaged in a shootout with the responding officers. A Master Patrolman, 32 year old Richard Riggs, was killed in the exchange.
25. Charles Foster (~1980s(?)-2000, lethal injection): Foster suspected a grocery store owner, 74 year old Claude Wiley, of making sexual advances at his wife. He arranged for her to entice Wiley to their home with an order. When he arrived with the delivery, Foster stabbed and bludgeoned him to death with a baseball bat. He a history of convictions involving threats and violence, though my sources didn’t disclose any specific details.
26. James Robedeaux (1978-2000, lethal injection): In 1978, Robedeaux strangled his first wife, 30 year old Linda, and plead guilty to a second degree murder charges. He was released after serving 6 out of a 25 year sentence despite an escape attempt. In the following year, he began a relationship with 37 year old Nancy McKinney while he married a different woman. During an argument, Robedeaux beat McKinney to death, dismembered her body with a saw and machete, and scattered the remains across the state. While being investigated for McKinney's murder, he was arrested for choking and beating his estranged second wife. The cases were incidental and kept separate by the courts.
27. Roger Berget (~1985-2000, lethal injection): Berget carjacked and abducted 33 year old Rick Patterson with an accomplice, and shot him dead. He also admitted to the beating death of a roommate, 40 year old James Meadows, on the behalf of the man's wife. As a trivial side note, Berget's brother Rodney was executed in 2018 by the state of South Dakota for killing a prison guard [for more information, please see Rodney Berget's entry under the South Dakota section of my states with less then 10 executions post].
28. William Bryson (1988-2000, lethal injection): To collect a $300,000 life insurance policy, Marilyn Plantz recruited her boyfriend Byrson and his friend to kill her husband, 33 year old James. Byrson and his friend ambushed Plantz in his house as he was coming home from work and beat him to death with a baseball bat. With the intentions of staging an accident, Marilyn ordered the pair to burn the body in the couple's pickup truck.
29. Gregg Braun (1989-2000, lethal injection): Across several states, Braun shot and killed 4 women, 48 year old Geraldine Valdez, 31 year old Gwendolyn Miller, 28 year old Mary Rains, 27 year old Barbara Kochendorfer, and one man, 54 year old Pete Spurrier, while robbing stores.
30. George Wallace (~1970s-2000, lethal injection): Known as "the Mad Paddler" due to his habit of spanking abducted preteen and teenage boys with a wooden paddle, Wallace kidnapped his victims by posing as a police officer. After duping his targets into thinking that they were being arrested, Wallace restrained them with handcuffs and leg chains. The captives were then sexually abused and shot or stabbed to death. His crimes were exposed when an 18 year old man he abducted escaped from him despite being shot and stabbed numerous times. By his own admission, Wallace murdered 18 year old Thomas Reed, 15 year old William Domer, 14 year old Mark McLaughlin, 14 year old Jeffrey Foster, and 12 year old Alonzo Cade.
31. Eddie Trice (1987-2001, lethal injection): Trice snuck into the home of 84 year old Ernestine Jones and raped her. After he beat Jones to death with numbchucks, he terrorized and extorted her cognitively disabled son of $500 with threats of killing him if he told anyone of the murder. The son was also assaulted with a hammer, and he received injuries to his right eye, right cheekbone, and his right forearm.
32. Wanda Allen (~1981-2001, lethal injection): In 1981, Allen got into a fight with her live in girlfriend, 21 year old Dedra Pettus, and shot her dead. Despite giving a bungled story about her being accidentally killed in a shootout with Pettus’ ex boyfriend to the investigators, Allen managed to secure a 4 year sentence for manslaughter after pleading guilty to a plea deal, and was released after serving two years. While incarcerated, she started dating a fellow inmate, 29 year old Gloria Leathers, and continued their relationship outside of prison. The couple’s relationship was marred with extreme domestic violence on Allen’s end. In one incident, Allen struck Leathers with a rake. In 1989, while they were arguing in front of a shopping center, Allen shot and killed Leathers. Leathers herself also had history of violence, and had a conviction for stabbing a woman to death. Allen and her defense team tried to use Leathers’ previous convictions to make a self defense argument, but that was shot down by the courts.
33. Floyd Medlock (1990-2001, lethal injection): 7 year old Katherine Busch went to visit her family's old apartment, which Medlock was residing in, by herself. Busch knocked on the door and Medlock let her inside after she begged for food. He then choked and sexually assaulted the girl, dunked her head in a toilet bowl, and stabbed her to death. The body was hidden in a nearby dumpster. Busch's grandmothers were staunch pro capital punishment and anti death penalty activists respectively, and their public feud over Medlock's sentence and execution attracted some media attention. Medlock also had an extensive criminal history despite being only 19 at the time of Busch's murder, and was previously arrested several times for indecent exposure, arson, armed robbery, and marijuana possession.
34. Dion Smallwood (1992-2001, lethal injection): Smallwood walked into the home of his ex girlfriend's adoptive stepmother, 68 year old Lois Frederick, without invitation. He had a tumultuous and often violent relationship with her adopted stepdaughter that she strongly opposed, and they broke up under her pressure. After an argument, Smallwood knocked Frederick unconscious with a croquet mallet, locked her in a car, and burned her alive in it.
35. Mark Fowler (1985-2001, lethal injection): To get back at his ex employers for firing him, Fowler and his partner, Billy Fox, stormed a supermarket that he used to work out. The pair rounded up 3 employees, Chumpon Chaowasin, a 44 year old Thai immigrant, 33 year old Rick Cast, and 27 year old John Barrier, at gun point. Their hostages were shot, clubbed, and stabbed to death, and they took over $2,7000 in cash and checks.
36. Billy Fox (1985-2001, lethal injection): Fox assisted the above mentioned Mark Fowler in robbing a supermarket and murdering 3 of its employees
37. Loyd Lafevers (1985-2001, lethal injection): Lafevers and his accomplice, Randall Cannon, kidnapped 84 year old Addie Hawley from her home. She was raped, trapped in the trunk of a car, and burned alive in it. Although she was rescued, Hawley died from her injuries 6 hours later. The pair stole Hawley's wedding ring and Lafevers gifted it to a stripper. As Hawley's nephew was a Colorado state senator, her murder gained some attention from media outlets.
38. Dorsie Jones Jr. (1979-2001, lethal injection): While drinking at a bar, a barmaid chastised Jones for carrying an unconcealed gun. He shot at her in a fit of rage, but missed and injured his female companion instead. Jones then turned his attention to the other patrons and fired on them. 48 year old Stanley Buck Sr. was killed in front of his 19 year old son, who was also wounded in the shooting.
39. Robert Clayton (~1980s-2001, lethal injection): Clayton attacked 19 year old Rhonda Timmons while she was sunbathing near her apartment. She was raped, stabbed, kicked in the head, and strangled to death with her swimming suit. Her husband found Timmons' body laying next to their infant daughter, who was left unharmed. Clayton had a previous rape conviction in Tennessee and a robbery conviction in Texas.
40. Ronald Fluke (1997-2001, lethal injection): Out of despair that his gambling addiction drove his family to near poverty, Fluke shot and killed his wife, 44 year old Ginger, and their daughters, 13 year old Kathryn and 11 year old Susanne, while they were sleeping in their bedrooms. He initially attacked Ginger with a hatchet, but turned to shooting when she fought back.
41. Marilyn Plantz (1988-2001, lethal injection): The married girlfriend of William Bryson. As mentioned under Bryson's entry, Plantz arranged for him and his friend to kill her husband James to collect his life insurance policy.
42. Terrance James (1983-2001, lethal injection): While awaiting trial for a theft of government property charge, James and two accomplices strangled a fellow inmate, 25 year old Mark Berry, with wire out of their suspicions of him being a snitch. They then hung the body in an attempt to make it look like a suicide. Berry was another party in the theft of government property case, and James and his accomplices believed that it was his testimony that got them arrested.
43. Vincent Johnson (1991-2001, lethal injection): Johnson gunned down 44 year old Shirley Mooneyham in her home. The prosecution believed that Mooneyham's boyfriend arranged the killing to collect a life insurance policy, but he was acquitted at trial.
44. Jerald Harjo (~1980s-2001, lethal injection): Harjo snuck into the bedroom of 64 year old Ruth Porter, raped her, and suffocated her with a pillowcase. He then snatched Porter's car keys and drove off with her van. His past criminal history was extensive, and was in prison numerous times for burglary and autotheft.
45. Jack Walker (1988-2001, lethal injection): Disgruntled with the custody dispute over their then 3 month old son, Walker stabbed his ex girlfriend, 17 year old Shelly Ellison, and her uncle, 30 year old Donald, 32 and 11 times with an ice pick during a confrontation at their home.
46. Alvie Hale Jr. (1983-2001, lethal injection): Hale kidnapped 24 year old William Perry to extort a $350,000 ransom from his banking family. When the negotiations failed, Perry was shot dead, and Hale buried the body on his father's property.
47. Lois Smith (1982-2001, lethal injection): Smith, her son, and a female accomplice abducted her son's ex girlfriend, 21 year old Cindy Baillee, from an airport out of fear her testifying of his involvement in the drug trade. Baillee was taken to Smith's ex husband's house, and stabbed in the throat by her ex boyfriend while driving to their destination. Inside the home, she was taunted by Smith with a gun, and was shot 7 times in the chest and 2 times in the back of the head. While her son was reloading the gun, Smith jumped on and crushed Bailee's throat.
48. Sahib Lateef Al-Mosawi (1992-2001, lethal injection): Following a dispute over their newborn son's name, Al-Mosawi's estranged wife, 26 year old Inaam Al-Nashi, fled to the apartment of her uncle, 45 year old Mohammed. Al-Mosaw attacked the pair in the apartment and stabbed them to death. Inaam's sister was also stabbed, but she managed to escape with her life. The couple and their families were refugees from Iraq that were displaced by the First Persian Gulf War, and they fled into the United States.
49. John Romano (1985-2002, lethal injection): Romano and his accomplice David Woodruff robbed and murdered two of their acquaintances. One of the victims, 63 year old Lloyd Thompson, was attacked in his apartment. Thompson was held down by the pair while they stabbed him 22 times and served his spinal cord. The other victim, 52 year old Roger Sarfaty, was tied up, beaten, stabbed 5 times, and strangled to death in a jewelry store he owned. In the robberies, Romano and Woodruff stole several pieces of jewelry from Sarfaty, and took most of Thompson’s quarter collection.
50. David Woodruff (1985-2002, lethal injection): As mentioned under John Romano's entry, Woodruff took part in the robbery murders of Lloyd Thompson and Roger Sarfaty.
51. Randall Cannon (1985-2002, lethal injection): Cannon assisted Loyd Lafevers in abducting, sexually assaulting, and burning Addie Hawley alive in her car. Although he was acquitted of molesting Hawley, Cannon was still condemned for his part in the kidnapping and murder.
52. Earl Frederick Sr. (~1989-2002, lethal injection): Frederick beat Bradford Beck, a 41 year old veteran that was crippled during his service in the Vietnam war, to death in his home after befriending him. He ransacked the house and dumped Beck's body in a field. A second murder, the robbery and shooting death of a Texan man, 77 year old Shirley Fox, was also tied to him. However, authorities in Texas withheld from prosecuting Fredrick due to his death penalty trial and conviction in Oklahoma. Both Fox and Beck had physical disabilities, which led prosecutors to the conclusion that Frederick intentionally selected and depredated on disabled men.
53. Jerry McCracken (~1980s(?)-2002, lethal injection): McCracken and his accomplice shot up a bar, killed 3 patrons and the bartender, and made off with $350. The victims that lost their lives were 41 year old Carol McDaniels, 37 year old Timothy Sheets, 34 year old Steven Sheets, and 27 year old Tyrrell Boyd. Months before the mass shooting, McCracken was paroled after serving time for stabbing 3 people in a bar fight.
54. Jay Neill (1984-2002, lethal injection): During a bank robbery, Neill disemboweled and nearly decapitated 3 tellers, 42 year old Kay Bruno, 25 year old Joyce Mullenix, and 19 year old Jerri Bowles. A group of 4 customers, consisting of 33 year old Ralph Zeller, a married couple, and their 14 month old daughter, unwittingly walked in on him, and he herded them into a backroom to be shot. Zeller was killed, the couple were wounded, and Neill left the daughter unharmed due to running out of bullets. Neill's boyfriend was given a life sentence for the robbery and murders, despite not being directly involved.
55. Ernest Carter Jr. (~1989-2002, lethal injection): After being fired from an autoshop, Carter robbed it with an accomplice, and fatally shot a security guard, 35 year old Eugene Manowski. The pair stole the shop's tow truck, and later tried to burn it with Carter's girlfriend to destroy any traces of the crime. Carter was also previously accused of burning a friend to death in the previous year, but the charges were dismissed.
56. Daniel Revilla (1987-2003, lethal injection): While babysitting his girlfriend's son, 13 month old Mark Gomez, in their home, Revilla broke the boy’s ribs in a beating and scalded him with boiling water. When he brought the boy to a hospital, Revilla gave a story that he accidentally hit Gomez’s head with a door handle, which was quickly seen through by the staff. According to the accounts of his girlfriend and her family, Revilla was violently abusive to Gomez, and they recounted incidents of him trapping the boy in a kitchen drawer, dunking him in cold water, folding him into a pull up bed, and hanging him by his ankles with duct tape.
57. Bobby Fields (~1990s-2003, lethal injection): Fields shot and killed 77 year old Louise Schem while burglarizing her home. She had tried to shot him with her .25 calibre pistol, but he wrestled the gun away from her, and gunned her down with it. His intentions was to steal Schem's television set to sell for cocaine, but left empty handed after losing his nerves with the struggle and murder. According to court documents, Fields had a previous robbery and assault conviction, and several arrests for drug possession.
58. Walanzo Robinson (1989-2003, lethal injection): A member of the Gangster Bloods street gang, Robinson shot and killed 26 year old Dennis Hill, an affiliate of a rival gang, in a turf war over drug sales.
59. John Hooker (~1971-2003, lethal injection): As a teenager in 1971, Hooker attended a party at a friend's house, and got into an argument. In a fit of anger, he fatally shot 18 year old Alta Lang, and wounded two other partygoers. Due to the witnesses refusing to cooperate with the investigation and being unable to prove any calculated intentions, Hooker was given a manslaughter conviction, and released a few years later. After he was paroled, Hooker started dating Sylvia Stokes, and fathered several children with her. Their troubled relationship lasted for 8 years, and ended when Stokes filed a protection order against him. In retaliation, Hooker lured Stokes and her mother, 53 year old Durcilla Morgan, into his apartment and stabbed them both to death.
60. Scot Hain (~1980s-2003, lethal injection): Hain carjacked and abducted a couple, 27 year old Michael Houghton and 22 year old Laura Sanders. After taking $565 and some bags of clothing, he forced them into the trunk of their car at gunpoint, and burned them alive in it. He had several previous arrests for robbery, and was involved with a number of rapes and attempted kidnappings months before the Houghton and Sanders' murders.
61. Don Hawkins Jr. (1985-2003, lethal injection): Hawkins kidnapped 29 year old Linda Ann Thompson and her two daughters, aged 4 years old and 18 months old, from a mall. Although his original intentions were to ransom off Thompson and her children, Hawkins gang raped the captive woman with his cousin and his girlfriend's teenage nephew, and drowned her in a lake. Thompson's children were spared and simply left with a babysitter. Hawkins and his accomplice then went on a nation wide rampage with his accomplice that involved the abductions and rapes of several grown women and teenage girls, hanging 31 year old David Coupez of Colorado in his home while robbing him, and countless other robberies.
62. Larry Jackson (~1984-2003, lethal injection): In 1984, Jackson shot and killed his girlfriend, 19 year old Freda Washington. He accepted a plea deal that dumbed down the charges to second degree murder, and was given a 30 year sentence for it. During his incarceration, Jackson started a relationship with 29 year old Wendy Cade. Despite her promises of marriage after his release, Cade left him for another man, and they got engaged. When Jackson was assigned to a prison work crew, he snuck out and went to confront Cade. Reportedly, the two had bought alchool, cocaine, and cigerates together and had sex in Cade's apartment. However, they got into an argument, and he slashed Cade's throat and stabbed her 31 times with box cutters. Jackson then left with her jewelry, watch, and the keys to her jeep.

Hello! Here's my first attempt at a race recap. Is it a form of post-race therapy for a race that did not go as planned, despite having a great training cucle? Maybe. Perhaps it is also an attempt at inspiring my fellow goal-oriented runners to find the positives, wins, and progression in a race where you did not reach your goals. It's a long one and includes heat exhaustion, unexpected GI distress, and blood sugar woes, so buckle down. Proceed at your own caution.

Race Information

• Name: Leiden Half Marathon
• Date: May 12th, 2024
• Distance: 21.1 km
• Location: Leiden, The Netherlands
• Website: marathon.nl
• Time: 1:35:55

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub 1:32	No
B	Sub 1:34	No
C	PB	Yes

Splits

Kilometer	Time
1	4:52
2	4:32
3	4:27
4	4:28
5	4:27
6	4:33
7	4:28
8	4:28
9	4:28
10	4:33
11	4:32
12	4:31
13	4:32
14	4:39
15	4:35
16	4:42
17	4:38
18	4:32
19	4:24
20	4:31
21	4:27
0.1	4:15

Background

To give you some background: I'm a relatively new runner. I have been casually running since mid-April 2024 and more seriously since July 2023. This was my second full training block, the previous one being a 12 week training block for in December. After that, I ran a trail half in January 2024. That was a bit of a wildcard race that I ran on the fly, not to finish it as fast as possible. I hadn't trained for it and ran the first half easy, the second half as an unplanned progression run simply because I felt good. That run brought me to a 1:43:38 finishing time. The Leiden half marathon would thus be my first go at racing a half marathon. With the half in January in mind, on the outset of my training block, I had a sub 1:35 in mind, but still as a very loose aim, subject to change as the training block progressed.
Another piece of important background: I have type 1 diabetes, which affects my running in quite complex ways. I'll spare you the details, but generally I am pretty apt at managing my blood sugar during running, using a continuous glucose monitor and an insulin pump. I hardly ever experience low blood sugar while running, especially not during races, due to the adrenaline rush, which tends to spike blood sugar instead. Foreshadowing: this race did not follow this general pattern.

Training (or "the rise")

I started this training cycle at the end of February, using the Runna advanced half marathon plan. I'd used Runna for my first training cycle as well, so was familiar with the app and general structure, and overall happy with it. It scheduled 4 days of running, one long run workout, one easy run, and two speed workouts. One of those speed workouts I swapped for a track session at my local athletics club. In addition to this, I had two weight lifting sessions at the gym a week.
Despite not having an overt problem with Runna, I second guessed the paces it prescribed and the training intensity quite a lot. While during the 10k training the overall load did not feel excessively high, having two speed workouts, one of which an intense track session, and a long run workout between 18 and 24k per week with significant portions at HM or 10k pace felt a bit excessive. Halfway through March, I struggled to hit paces during my track sessions, whereas in January - February I had no problem with this, and my calves were perpetually tight. Because of this and other reasons, I switched to personalized online coaching from April onwards, about halfway through the training cycle. My coach was great about basing my training on the first half of the training cycle and slowly transitioning me to a different schedule. He transitioned me to 5 runs a week instead of 4, plus a 6th day of cross training, and adjusted the overall intensity to be far more in line with the general recommendation of 80% easy, 20% hard. I felt the effects almost immediately: my calves calmed down, my HR came down during easy runs, I hit paces during my hard sessions again, and could even run 4 days in a row, where before that would always set off my calves and cause shin pain. On average, I ran 54 km a week during the training block, with my peak weeks at 59km a week. During the second half of the training block I felt truly great, without any pain or niggles, even in those peak weeks.
This left me feeling confident and excited for the race. Based on a 20:02 5k time trial in the first week of April, my coach and I decided on 4:25 min/km as a goal pace for the half marathon, which would bring me to a finish time around 1:33. During my peak week long run workouts, (18k with a total of 8k at goal pace and 20k with 10k at goal pace), I could easily keep up with a faster pace of 4:22 min/km, planting the idea in my head that if the conditions were right, I might be able to hit sub 1:32. I knew there would be a chance of hot weather though, so kept 1:35 as a B-goal.
The training also included practicing with fueling on my run, taking gels every 25-30 minutes for my long run, which I never had any problem with, even when running faster. I generally view myself of having an iron stomach, thanks to years of eating at the most random moments to treat low blood sugars. Cue second piece of foreshadowing...

Pre-race (or "the turn")

In the days leading up to the race, it slowly became more and more clear that the weather conditions on race day would be less than ideal, with an expected high of 25 degrees and full sun. And, of course, since it's the Netherlands, decent humidity to boot. The whole west of the country is basically a swamp, after all. Knowing this, I already started managing my own expectations and realized that sub 1:32 would most likely be off the table. All attention to the 1:35 goal, then.
My pre-race days also included my first attempt at a semi-carb load. I call it a semi-carb load given the short duration: using Meghan Featherstun's calculator, I planned on a one/1.5 day carb load, from Friday morning to Saturday afternoon, with a normal dinner on Saturday so as to give my body time to digest all the carbs. The carb loading went surprisingly well; I'd expected that the extra carbs and relative lack of protein and fat would make it difficult to keep my blood sugar in check, but I experienced no significant blood sugar spikes (here's some counter evidence to all the fearmongering around carbs and blood glucose spikes - if I can handle it with synthetic, imperfectly working insulin and human error, a healthy person with a functioning pancreas surely will be absolutely fine).
Race morning? *Cue the stress*. Hectic was how I would describe it. I got up early so that I would be able to take an early train to Leiden, allowing for plenty of time to do my warm up, queue for the bathrooms, etc. My bag was all packed when my boyfriend, who would travel with me to cheer me on, suggested I transfer all my stuff to his backpack, so I wouldn't have to check my bag (this would save some time and allow us to circumvent some of the busy parts of town). Foreshadowing: this was a bad idea. I transferred all of my stuff (I thought) to my boyfriend's bag and off we went to the station. Once we were sat in the train, I reached for his bag to pin on my bib.
Horror struck. FUCK!
I left my bib in my bag at home, in a back compartment! Thank god the train had not yet departed from the station. Just before the train doors closed, I managed to sprint out and race home on the bike to grab my bib. Lesson learned: do not transfer your stuff to another bag last minute. My boyfriend and I ended up making it to one train later, leaving me far less time to get ready, but enough to just make the start.
Emphasis on 'just'; although I had some 25 minutes to spare to get to my corral once my swelteringly hot warm up was done, the queue for the portapotties was terribly long and the whole process was utterly inefficient. When it was my turn, I had 4 minutes before the race started, and I did not even know where exactly my corral was. My boyfriend was a true saint and scoped the way in the mean time, so he ran with me (in the heat, with a backpack and regular sneakers) to the corral, where I managed to wedge myself through an opening in the fencing with 30 seconds left. The adrenaline was already rushing through my veins, I can tell you that.

Race (or "the fall")

Still stressed out from the pre-race situation, the gun went off. Showtime.
The start was quite broad but roughly 200 meters out there was a funnel. It was busy as heck and I had to slow down significantly, but I knew weaving would be a bad choice so tried to be patient and just go with the flow. Within the first five minutes of the race, the trouble began. I could feel my blood sugar dropping. I had a significant amount of insulin on board to account for the usual rush of adrenaline during a race, which generally brings up my blood sugar considerably, so the fact that I was already dropping brought on a slight panic. I downed a gel in an attempt to divert a low blood sugar, almost choking on it in the process. Luckily, I could feel it working and bringing my blood sugar back to a stable trajectory pretty quickly, but knew I wasn't out of the woods yet, as the chances of my blood sugar starting to drop again would be considerable. I also noticed pretty soon that my stomach wasn't too happy about the gel, despite never having experienced GI distress from fueling on my runs ever before. Looking back, I think I was already heading into dehydration territory at this point.
The strategy for the race was to hoover just above 4:25 min/km for the first 5k, settle into a goal pace of 4:20 - 4:25 between km 6 - 16, and empty the tank in the last 5k. The first 5k went fairly well; after the group dispersed a bit, I managed to pick up to a comfortable 4:28. By the 5k mark, however, the heat started to get to me and my stomach was still feeling a bit iffy. At this point, the course had shifted from city to running between the meadows, with little shade. Since I carried a handheld with water + electrolytes that I could continuously sip from, I used the most of the cups at the water posts to dunk the contents over my head. The volunteers also handed out sponges soaked in cold water, and some very kind spectators sprayed cool water with garden hoses, which was truly a blessing. Thanks to these cooling methods, I still felt relatively good at this point, but had a suspicion that I would empty the tank too early by increasing my pace to below 4:25, so I tried to simply stick to the current pace until at least the half way mark. That would still allow me to reach my sub 1:35 goal.
At the 10k mark, the struggle became real, however. Between km 6 and 12, there were no water posts and there was very little shade as well. My stomach still hurt, a weird sensation hoovering between the pain of a side stitch but in my whole abdomen, and nausea. Knowing this could be due to dehydration, I continued to sip water in hopes of it getting better, which eventually did happen. Mentally, I kept reminding myself that I was in control and to keep my form relaxed, but speeding up to goal pace did not seem like a sensible option. The opposite, actually, not dropping my pace was challenge enough. Having fallen back slightly by km 10, I tried to pick up to 4:28 again between km 11 and 12, but hardly managed. And then the trouble really began: by km 13, I could feel that my blood sugar was low. Now, I imagine that for my pancreatically unchallenged pals, it can be hard to understand what running with low blood sugar feels like, so I'll try to explain it: it's like you're moving through molasses, everything feels 10 times heavier than it should be. In addition, your brain is literally lacking the energy it needs to function, causing brain fog and making it difficult to assess a situation. Everything in me wanted to stop, lay down on the side of the road and just stop existing for a little bit. And to that, add a layer of panic: a low blood sugar can get seriously dangerous and can lead to death if not managed well. Now, I would never advise to run through a low blood sugar. I know my body well, however, and with a far too slow working brain, made the following assessment when I had downed a gel:

• The gel should bring me up fairly quickly;
• There's not as much active insulin on board anymore, reducing the risk of the gel not raising my blood sugar to an adequate level or of my blood sugar continuing to drop despite the gel;
• If I keep running, there is the chance that my body will keep producing adrenaline, which causes an additional dump of glycogen in my blood stream, thus also raising my blood sugar, whereas if I stop, this would be unlikely to happen;
• If I feel worse, I can stop at anytime.

I put all of my mental and physical energy into keeping my legs turning over, fighting that overwhelming urge to stop and lay down. I did slow down quite a bit, dropping to a low point of a 4:42 min/km for km 16. But as the feeling was 'stable', if you will, and not getting worse, I kept running, reminding myself that I was over halfway. At some point in this chunk of the race, a spectator yelled at a woman behind me that she was 25th female, which pushed her to overtake me, but to be honest, I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I did not give shit.
Then, as it often goes with blood sugar issues, like a flip of the switch I felt better all of a sudden around the 17k marker. Invigorated by averting blood sugar disaster and by the idea of having less than 5k left, I felt like I could pick up the pace again. Gradually, rather than all at once, but simply the fact that I could pick up the pace again, brought back some of my confidence and enjoyment. Don't get me wrong, it was still hard as hell, but compared to the fog of anguish I'd been running in previously, this was manageable. By km 18, I started slowly picking people to take over. There was one woman in sight who I overtook, but then she overtook me again, and we kept pushing each other to keep going (we even briefly spoke to cheer each other on) up until km 20, when I left her behind me and did not see her again (later, I saw that she finished a couple of seconds after me; in the unlikely event that she happens to read this: thank you for pushing me!!). At this point, I was vaguely aware that sub 1:35 would not be possible anymore, but I tried to win any second I could. The final two 2 were brutal and felt endless, and oh boy was I happy when I crossed the finish line.

Post-race and aftermath

As soon as I stopped running and slowed down to a walk, my legs turned into noodles. I felt quite uncoordinated and nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. Looking back, I think I might've suffered from heat exhaustion, if not mild heat stroke, as these feelings stayed with me for quite a while and I also started shivering, despite being hot still. I received my medal, forced down the banana and orange slices handed out after the finish (this was such a nice touch by the race organization!), as well as two cups of water. Managed to keep it down, and the nausea dissipated after a while. Unsurprisingly, I felt some disappointment over missing even my B-goal, which I'd thought of as squarely within reach. Still, my most intense emotion was relief for making it to the finish line, given the circumstances. I texted with my coach a bit, who also cheered me on. I know that I could've run far faster on a different day, but not on this day, not with the heat and blood sugar issues. I did truly give it my all and left it all on the course, and that is a satisfying feeling, no matter the outcome. I ended up finishing 17th in my age group and 22nd female overall.
To celebrate, I met up with my cheer squad, consisting of my boyfriend and some friends (I call them my cheer squad, but they missed me because the live tracker was lagging) and went for lunch, before heading back home. The rest of the day was spent taking some gentle strolls to aid recovery, relaxing, and eating a ton of good food (with lingering nausea, but hey, with great athleticism comes great eating responsibility, as David Roche says). Later, the rest of the races that day ended up being cancelled because the medical staff could not keep up with the influx of runners suffering from heat stress. The high turned out the be 27 degrees, with constant sun and little wind. Knowing this, I am extra glad I finished safely.
So, just over 24 hours later, what are we left with? Sore legs, that's for sure. I'm lightly bummed out that I did not perform as I had expected, but this is combined with the thrill of still having a goal to chase, that I know is within my reach, especially when I stack another training cycle on top of this. Overall, I am happy with what I managed to do, given the circumstances. I feel confident that the fitness I have gained in this training cycle is an excellent starting point for a new training cycle, and I know that this race experience has taught me a lot, from blood sugar management and not forgetting my bib (hah) to how far I can really push myself. The second half of my training block was an absolute win in itself. Running 5 days a week with an average of 54km seemed absolutely inconceivable a year ago, when I was not even a month into my running journey. It's insane where a couple of months of consistency can bring you.
For now, I'm going to rest and recover, reflect some more and run some easy miles for the next couple of days. After that, I'll shift my focus on the 5 and 10k for a little bit, before hopefully starting the prep for a half marathon redo in the fall. Whatever happens, I'll pick a race with very low chances of hot weather, ha.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.

I only listened to one episode and I was just wondering are the podcast hosts Jesse and Katie brother and sister or are they former boyfriend/girlfriend turned friends? I can’t figure out their dynamic, I went to look them up on twitter and I got even more confused