Farewell words for retiring coworker
Short Tales of the Life of Norman
2013.04.18 06:19 MaximusLeonis Short Tales of the Life of Norman
A collective story about a remarkably unimportant individual.
2010.09.30 22:28 ecpenguin Zerocarb / Carnivore Way of Eating
This is a subreddit for carnivores, people who enjoy and eat only foods from the animal kingdom. ==>Live your life however you want to but this subreddit is for discussing living on animal source foods only. It really is! Pls read the rules<==
2015.04.17 19:21 dragonitetrainer Norman's other half
This is a spinoff of /LifeOfNorman, which focuses on Lisa, a coworker of Norman and a recurring character
2024.05.14 12:55 cats-arrr-cool I am terrible at creating relationships with others both platonic and romantic.
For some background, I (19F) am midsize , and my face has been called cute by some. That said I am not very attractive by societal standards, but I am alright. However, I do not believe others enjoy my company because, on top of being okay-looking, I am awkward, callous, and a bit foolish. I believe this self-concept is ruining my relationships with others.
There are many times have I killed a person’s interest in me with my awkward stares and long periods of silence. It's not because I don't care for the conversation but I am trying to find the words that will be right given the relationship, environment, and boundaries. I'm unsure of most of the boundaries. I usually put the boundaries of others so strictly whereas if I were asked, the things I want to ask, I would answer.
I have lost the chance for many meaningful friendships because I often confuse platonic feelings with romantic ones. Whenever I have strong feelings, I am unsure of it being romantic so I close off and put up more boundaries because I don't want to be deceiving them. I start to question everything I do and say as if I have ulterior motives for interacting with them.
I wonder what could have been if I had shown the people I care about, that I do care about them. I find myself thinking back to memories of people who I didn't think cared about my existence. Yet every single memory shows signs that they were, I just didn't see them or maybe even believe them.
What worries me the most is if I will ever stop running away from the connections I so desperately crave. I have tried dating apps many times. I download and delete in a never-ending cycle. I have conversations with people that are truly divine yet I delete the app in the middle without an explanation. I get scared when they want to meet up because I still feel I am deceiving them. I feel as if they don't know my size or the way my face looks. And every time I delete the app I feel horrible for all the people I left hanging without an explanation because it is not as if they are a problem.
It truly hit me when I downloaded a dating app again and saw an ex-coworker. I vaguely remember seeing him on the app right before I started working at that company. However, I am unclear if I chatted with him because I only have a feeling and a hint of distant memories. The fact I didn't remember him and can't remember if we talked, even though in person, I was in awe of his beauty both inside and out is more than enough proof that I have a problem. (Honestly unsure if this is relevant but I just had to include it)
Thank you for reading :). If you've read this far I'd like to know if anyone else has dealt with a similar problem or maybe some help with changing my ways? Sorry if it's formatted weirdly. It's my first post and I was unsure where this would be best said.
submitted by cats-arrr-cool to offmychest [link] [comments]
There are many times have I killed a person’s interest in me with my awkward stares and long periods of silence. It's not because I don't care for the conversation but I am trying to find the words that will be right given the relationship, environment, and boundaries. I'm unsure of most of the boundaries. I usually put the boundaries of others so strictly whereas if I were asked, the things I want to ask, I would answer.
I have lost the chance for many meaningful friendships because I often confuse platonic feelings with romantic ones. Whenever I have strong feelings, I am unsure of it being romantic so I close off and put up more boundaries because I don't want to be deceiving them. I start to question everything I do and say as if I have ulterior motives for interacting with them.
I wonder what could have been if I had shown the people I care about, that I do care about them. I find myself thinking back to memories of people who I didn't think cared about my existence. Yet every single memory shows signs that they were, I just didn't see them or maybe even believe them.
What worries me the most is if I will ever stop running away from the connections I so desperately crave. I have tried dating apps many times. I download and delete in a never-ending cycle. I have conversations with people that are truly divine yet I delete the app in the middle without an explanation. I get scared when they want to meet up because I still feel I am deceiving them. I feel as if they don't know my size or the way my face looks. And every time I delete the app I feel horrible for all the people I left hanging without an explanation because it is not as if they are a problem.
It truly hit me when I downloaded a dating app again and saw an ex-coworker. I vaguely remember seeing him on the app right before I started working at that company. However, I am unclear if I chatted with him because I only have a feeling and a hint of distant memories. The fact I didn't remember him and can't remember if we talked, even though in person, I was in awe of his beauty both inside and out is more than enough proof that I have a problem. (Honestly unsure if this is relevant but I just had to include it)
Thank you for reading :). If you've read this far I'd like to know if anyone else has dealt with a similar problem or maybe some help with changing my ways? Sorry if it's formatted weirdly. It's my first post and I was unsure where this would be best said.
2024.05.14 12:05 Bonegirl06 The Sad Fate of the Sports Parent
A true sports parent dies twice. There’s the death that awaits us all at the end of a long or short life, the result of illness, misadventure, fire, falling object, hydroplaning car, or derailing train. But there is also the death that comes in the midst of life, the purgatorial purposelessness that follows the final season on the sidelines or in the bleachers, when your sports kid hangs up their skates, cleats, or spikes after that last game.
The passage of time is woeful, and, for a parent, living your dreams through the progress of your progeny is as inevitable as the turning of the Earth. But the sports parent lives the experience in concentrate—a more intense version of the common predicament. You must give up your vicarious hope of big-league glory and let it die. You must part from what, if your kid pursued his passion seriously, had become a routine of away games and early-morning practices, hours in the car, a hot cup of coffee in your cold hand as the sun rose above the Wonderland of Ice, in Bridgeport, Connecticut; the Ice Arena in Brewster, New York; the Ice Vault, in Wayne, New Jersey—home of the Hitmen, whose logo is a pin-striped gangster with a hockey stick. And you’ll suddenly find yourself watching the Stanley Cup playoffs not in the way of a civilian but with the chagrin of knowing that the game’s upper ranks will never include your kid.
One recent morning, courtesy of Facebook Memories, I came across an old picture of my son, a high-school junior who recently announced his decision to quit hockey—to retire! The photo was taken by teammates after a victory at Lake Placid, New York. Sweat-soaked, draped in the arms of friends, grinning like a thief, he looked no less ecstatic than Mike Eruzione after he and his team won Olympic gold in the same arena in 1980.
And me? I was this Eruzione’s old man, waiting with the other parents outside the locker room, experiencing a moment of satisfaction greater than any other I’d known, either as a player or as a fan. I was a car in park with the accelerator pressed to the floor. I was a wall bathed in sunlight. This win was better than the Illinois State Championship I won with the Deerfield Falcons, in 1977. It was better than the Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Read: I thought I’d found a cheat code for parenting
The end began like this: One evening, after the last game of the high-school season, I asked my son if he’d be trying out for spring league. For a youth-hockey kid, playing spring league is the equivalent of a minor-league pitcher playing winter ball in Mexico—so necessary as a statement of intent and means of improvement that forgoing it is like giving up “the path.” Rather than a simple affirmative nod, as I’d expected, I got these words: “I’m going to think about it.” Think about it? For me, this was the same as a girlfriend saying, “We need to talk.”
Only later did I realize that those words were the first move in a careful choreography. My son wanted to quit, but in a way that would not break my heart. He also didn’t want me to rant and rave and try to talk him out of it.
We had reversed roles. He was the adult. I was the child.
He knew he would not be playing college hockey even if he could. With this in mind, he had decided to use his final year of high school to get to know people other than hockey players and spend time in places other than hockey rinks. In the way of a pro with iffy knees nearing the age of 35, he had decided to exit on his own terms. He was not worrying about losing his identity as a player or about missing the camaraderie of the locker room; he was worrying about me. Hockey had been an entire epoch of our father-son life. It had ushered me, the sports parent, out of my 30s, through my 40s, and into my 50s.
.... Because I am human, I tend to blame entities or systems or other people for things that strike me as unfair. As my son progressed, I caught a glimpse, for one fabulous, deluded moment, of the life that he (we, I) would never live: high-school athletic stardom followed by college triumph and possibly even a professional-hockey career. That I knew this was a fantasy—he was never that good—did not make it less powerful. Lost in it, I experienced my life as an NHL fan with new intensity. I was not just watching the Blackhawks; I was scouting, picking up tricks that I could pass to my glory-bound boy. This was a dream that I was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even my wife. I regarded it the way members of the Free French regarded the liberation of Paris: Think of it always; speak of it never. In short, I lost my way. Rather than letting him enjoy the moment and the fact that these seasons were his career, not a preparation or a path toward one, I was constantly scheming about his next move, his next opportunity, his next shot at the big time.
Here’s the worst part: I knew exactly what I was doing. I was attempting to replace my kid’s will with my own. I knew that it was wrong and, worse, counterproductive. The more I pressed, the less he enjoyed the game. The less he enjoyed the game, the worse he played. The worse he played, the more I pressed. Economists call this a negative feedback loop. I knew it but could not stop. It was psychosis.
Maybe the most notorious sports parents suffer from a shared psychological condition. LaVar Ball, Emmanuel Agassi, Earl Woods—those sports dads were all obsessed to the point of being abusive. I prefer to think that I am not; yet, for all the varying degrees of our kid’s success, our predicament is the same. At some point, even if it comes after 20 years in the pros, the set will be rolled away, revealing our true location. Rink parking lot. Beat-up vehicle. Alone. Even the child prodigies will retire.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/ice-hockey-sports-parent/678347/
submitted by Bonegirl06 to atlanticdiscussions [link] [comments]
The passage of time is woeful, and, for a parent, living your dreams through the progress of your progeny is as inevitable as the turning of the Earth. But the sports parent lives the experience in concentrate—a more intense version of the common predicament. You must give up your vicarious hope of big-league glory and let it die. You must part from what, if your kid pursued his passion seriously, had become a routine of away games and early-morning practices, hours in the car, a hot cup of coffee in your cold hand as the sun rose above the Wonderland of Ice, in Bridgeport, Connecticut; the Ice Arena in Brewster, New York; the Ice Vault, in Wayne, New Jersey—home of the Hitmen, whose logo is a pin-striped gangster with a hockey stick. And you’ll suddenly find yourself watching the Stanley Cup playoffs not in the way of a civilian but with the chagrin of knowing that the game’s upper ranks will never include your kid.
One recent morning, courtesy of Facebook Memories, I came across an old picture of my son, a high-school junior who recently announced his decision to quit hockey—to retire! The photo was taken by teammates after a victory at Lake Placid, New York. Sweat-soaked, draped in the arms of friends, grinning like a thief, he looked no less ecstatic than Mike Eruzione after he and his team won Olympic gold in the same arena in 1980.
And me? I was this Eruzione’s old man, waiting with the other parents outside the locker room, experiencing a moment of satisfaction greater than any other I’d known, either as a player or as a fan. I was a car in park with the accelerator pressed to the floor. I was a wall bathed in sunlight. This win was better than the Illinois State Championship I won with the Deerfield Falcons, in 1977. It was better than the Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Read: I thought I’d found a cheat code for parenting
The end began like this: One evening, after the last game of the high-school season, I asked my son if he’d be trying out for spring league. For a youth-hockey kid, playing spring league is the equivalent of a minor-league pitcher playing winter ball in Mexico—so necessary as a statement of intent and means of improvement that forgoing it is like giving up “the path.” Rather than a simple affirmative nod, as I’d expected, I got these words: “I’m going to think about it.” Think about it? For me, this was the same as a girlfriend saying, “We need to talk.”
Only later did I realize that those words were the first move in a careful choreography. My son wanted to quit, but in a way that would not break my heart. He also didn’t want me to rant and rave and try to talk him out of it.
We had reversed roles. He was the adult. I was the child.
He knew he would not be playing college hockey even if he could. With this in mind, he had decided to use his final year of high school to get to know people other than hockey players and spend time in places other than hockey rinks. In the way of a pro with iffy knees nearing the age of 35, he had decided to exit on his own terms. He was not worrying about losing his identity as a player or about missing the camaraderie of the locker room; he was worrying about me. Hockey had been an entire epoch of our father-son life. It had ushered me, the sports parent, out of my 30s, through my 40s, and into my 50s.
.... Because I am human, I tend to blame entities or systems or other people for things that strike me as unfair. As my son progressed, I caught a glimpse, for one fabulous, deluded moment, of the life that he (we, I) would never live: high-school athletic stardom followed by college triumph and possibly even a professional-hockey career. That I knew this was a fantasy—he was never that good—did not make it less powerful. Lost in it, I experienced my life as an NHL fan with new intensity. I was not just watching the Blackhawks; I was scouting, picking up tricks that I could pass to my glory-bound boy. This was a dream that I was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even my wife. I regarded it the way members of the Free French regarded the liberation of Paris: Think of it always; speak of it never. In short, I lost my way. Rather than letting him enjoy the moment and the fact that these seasons were his career, not a preparation or a path toward one, I was constantly scheming about his next move, his next opportunity, his next shot at the big time.
Here’s the worst part: I knew exactly what I was doing. I was attempting to replace my kid’s will with my own. I knew that it was wrong and, worse, counterproductive. The more I pressed, the less he enjoyed the game. The less he enjoyed the game, the worse he played. The worse he played, the more I pressed. Economists call this a negative feedback loop. I knew it but could not stop. It was psychosis.
Maybe the most notorious sports parents suffer from a shared psychological condition. LaVar Ball, Emmanuel Agassi, Earl Woods—those sports dads were all obsessed to the point of being abusive. I prefer to think that I am not; yet, for all the varying degrees of our kid’s success, our predicament is the same. At some point, even if it comes after 20 years in the pros, the set will be rolled away, revealing our true location. Rink parking lot. Beat-up vehicle. Alone. Even the child prodigies will retire.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/ice-hockey-sports-parent/678347/
2024.05.14 11:55 crispty_ Am I getting discriminated at my work?
So basically I a 20 Female work in retail as a casual at clothing store, I started working at this store in march 2020, so it’s been 4 years and a bit.
I was usually working Fridays 5-8 pm every week, and then 2 of our stores that I both worked at weren’t making budget in February (for at least 20 weeks they weren’t making any budget) so my shift were slowly getting cut, During this time my manager had to call the big boss because someone called In sick and was asking if I could stay for another hour, and he said that in the big boss words “she’s too expensive because of her age so she’s limited to 3 hours” Leaving him the manager by himself for the last hour of business.
And then my shifts were completely cut, the last time I was rostered on was 22 march.
They call me here and there (4 times between 22 march and 14 of may) but they call around 7:30 to 8:30 am to ask me to work, but because it’s early in the morning, I’m usually asleep and by the time I wake up 10:30 to 11 they have already gotten it covered.
I’ve only answered twice and both times, I answered they said along the lines of, “thank you for answering I have called everyone and no one answered or no one can work” which makes me think that they are only calling me as a “last resort” person because no one else wants to to come in.
The first call I answered I couldn’t go in, and then the second time I answered, I went into work that was on the 29 of April. I hadn’t worked in so long that one of my coworkers was surprised I was in because he thought I quit.
Btw I feel like they are forcing me to quit because they can’t legally fire me because how long I’ve been there, and im not apart of a union
And a couple of months back (back in August 2023) they asked if I could become a supervisor, and I said yes, I was getting trained on how to close the store and then in September the store manager quit with 2 weeks notice and heaps of things were happening after it. So I was told I would be put “on the back burner for now”. So I waited till the new year and before I asked I found out that my big boss asked my coworker that just got out of school to become a supervisor… she just turned 18 when they asked her, while I was 20 when they asked.
Basically a run down of all of this is I was basically training to be a supervisor something happened so it had to pause but in the end they asked someone that is freshly 18 to basically take the position that was originally for me, (August 2023 to start of January 2024) Then my hours have been cut because I’m too expensive/ my age to the point I haven’t been rosted on since 22 of march 2024 but I worked once on the 29 of April.
All my friends I have talked too, and my jobseeker lady (I had to join Centrelink to get a income during this) have all said that it’s all about my age and my salary and it’s seems like a simple case of age discrimination
But I’m not sure if I’m just overthinking everything and even then I don’t know what to do, or who to contact, like do I contact a lawyer or fairwork etc
Sorry for the very long post but any help would be appreciated.
submitted by crispty_ to AusLegal [link] [comments]
I was usually working Fridays 5-8 pm every week, and then 2 of our stores that I both worked at weren’t making budget in February (for at least 20 weeks they weren’t making any budget) so my shift were slowly getting cut, During this time my manager had to call the big boss because someone called In sick and was asking if I could stay for another hour, and he said that in the big boss words “she’s too expensive because of her age so she’s limited to 3 hours” Leaving him the manager by himself for the last hour of business.
And then my shifts were completely cut, the last time I was rostered on was 22 march.
They call me here and there (4 times between 22 march and 14 of may) but they call around 7:30 to 8:30 am to ask me to work, but because it’s early in the morning, I’m usually asleep and by the time I wake up 10:30 to 11 they have already gotten it covered.
I’ve only answered twice and both times, I answered they said along the lines of, “thank you for answering I have called everyone and no one answered or no one can work” which makes me think that they are only calling me as a “last resort” person because no one else wants to to come in.
The first call I answered I couldn’t go in, and then the second time I answered, I went into work that was on the 29 of April. I hadn’t worked in so long that one of my coworkers was surprised I was in because he thought I quit.
Btw I feel like they are forcing me to quit because they can’t legally fire me because how long I’ve been there, and im not apart of a union
And a couple of months back (back in August 2023) they asked if I could become a supervisor, and I said yes, I was getting trained on how to close the store and then in September the store manager quit with 2 weeks notice and heaps of things were happening after it. So I was told I would be put “on the back burner for now”. So I waited till the new year and before I asked I found out that my big boss asked my coworker that just got out of school to become a supervisor… she just turned 18 when they asked her, while I was 20 when they asked.
Basically a run down of all of this is I was basically training to be a supervisor something happened so it had to pause but in the end they asked someone that is freshly 18 to basically take the position that was originally for me, (August 2023 to start of January 2024) Then my hours have been cut because I’m too expensive/ my age to the point I haven’t been rosted on since 22 of march 2024 but I worked once on the 29 of April.
All my friends I have talked too, and my jobseeker lady (I had to join Centrelink to get a income during this) have all said that it’s all about my age and my salary and it’s seems like a simple case of age discrimination
But I’m not sure if I’m just overthinking everything and even then I don’t know what to do, or who to contact, like do I contact a lawyer or fairwork etc
Sorry for the very long post but any help would be appreciated.
2024.05.14 10:52 CookieCoffee_13355 My SIL posted in THT about me and this is my side of the story.
Sorry it's quite late where I am (for me) and I can't sleep so apologies for typos or formatting.
My sister encouraged me to come here (again). She's an avid reddit user and she's the one that found the story about me but I can't find it and she can't either now. Some of you might remember it as I'm writing.
Anyways, I (32F) and my husband (33M) were invited to my nieces birthday party on April 27th.
We don't get along with my SIL, she's the most entitled person I've ever known. I've tried my best to get on with her and even asked her to be my bridesmaid when I got married.
She made everything about her, she didn't like the dresses, she didn't like the shoes, she refused to come with us to go shopping but got upset that we'd chosen the dresses without her. We did try our best to find a date that suited her but instead she went off with her boyfriend every time. I did tell her politely that if she didn't like the dress then she could step down being a bridesmaid, nope she went crying to my MIL that I'd dropped her as one, of course, my MIL believed her over me and I had to send screenshots to prove that I didn't drop her. I didn't get an apology either, the messages just stopped. I was ignored for a few days and then a message appeared as if nothing happened from my SIL.
My in laws enable her behaviour by always talking down to my husband and siding with her over any minor detail. I have told him, he needs to stick up for himself but he won't. It's easier for him to just 'take it'.
She was upset she didn't get a plus one but my other bridesmaids did. My other bridesmaids were either already married or had long term partners not one that had been on the scene for all of 3 months. She wanted him to be part of the bridal party and to be a groomsman. The best we could do was invite to the reception because of the allocated numbers, apparently that wasn't good enough! We were asked to drop a guest and then bump him up, I explained I wasn't going to do that as I'd already got the RSVP's from everyone. Anyway, he did come to the reception and he left after 2.5 hours and I didn't even communicate with him so I assume he felt uncomfortable. The reason I didn't communicate with him was because it's not up to me to introduce myself, 'oh hi I'm the bride, nice to meet you.' Not one of my husband's family said congratulations to us either and they tried to take photos of my husband with his family without me.
They've always done that, always got me to either take the photo or could I move out of the way as it's 'only family' allowed in photos. I wasn't invited to their thanksgivings/Christmases/birthdays either, I don't think my MIL liked the fact that her son was growing up. We were 24 when we met. They also tried to take one last 'hurrah holiday' to Cuba before my husband and I got married, leaving me behind. I was quite upset but let my husband go. I found it entertaining that my in laws were perfectly okay with me not going anywhere or invited but somehow my SIL boyfriend HAD to come to our wedding...?
Fast forward 4 years, they're still together. Cool. I still don't really know him that well, let's just say my husband and I's relationship with our in laws got majorly strained after our wedding.
So our niece is 1 this year. We were invited to go to the birthday party but we declined. We were told that we were selfish and didn't care about our niece. I do care about my niece and so does my husband but we're not free babysitters and I am very rarely invited out to go see her even if I tried to arrange it myself, it's either, SIL goes out with my husband and niece or we look after her for the day without SIL..? But my SIL will have ago at both of us over message to say we clearly don't care about spending time with them. SIL also makes a huge point about me either being aunty or not being aunty, it's like a weird power flex.
My in laws live in a different state but my SIL lives in our state. So my in laws very rarely see the child either. They wanted to go to sunny Florida now they've retired whereas we're out in California.
SIL had ago at us because she was asking for money towards our nieces savings account which we declined and bought her some presents instead. Apparently she 'already has' the presents we got her and maybe if we made more of an effort to see her we'd have known that... so we've wasted our money on some toys that could've gone into her savings account 🤷🏼♀️
She doesn't even get us presents that we would like, not that I'm complaining because I'm grateful for anything. I just think if you can't get us something we want ourselves how can you expect us to be okay with giving money to your daughter??
For a bit more context, she didn't come to my bachelorette party, instead she plastered all her insta that she was out with her bf and told my other bridesmaids it 'wasn't her thing' so we said the same words to my SIL as to why we weren't going. She doesn't make the effort to see either of us on our birthdays. She bitched about me to my MOH that I wasn't being fair to her that I can't understand that she's busy and then bitched about me again because I wasn't involving her with the wedding details?? It's either one or the other!
She said my wedding dress was tacky and 'not her style'. She didn't like the hairdresser doing her hair. She didn't like the layout of the venue etc etc.
Anyway I'm unsure where to go from here. I'm thinking of going LC or NC from my side and let my husband decide what he wants to do.
submitted by CookieCoffee_13355 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
My sister encouraged me to come here (again). She's an avid reddit user and she's the one that found the story about me but I can't find it and she can't either now. Some of you might remember it as I'm writing.
Anyways, I (32F) and my husband (33M) were invited to my nieces birthday party on April 27th.
We don't get along with my SIL, she's the most entitled person I've ever known. I've tried my best to get on with her and even asked her to be my bridesmaid when I got married.
She made everything about her, she didn't like the dresses, she didn't like the shoes, she refused to come with us to go shopping but got upset that we'd chosen the dresses without her. We did try our best to find a date that suited her but instead she went off with her boyfriend every time. I did tell her politely that if she didn't like the dress then she could step down being a bridesmaid, nope she went crying to my MIL that I'd dropped her as one, of course, my MIL believed her over me and I had to send screenshots to prove that I didn't drop her. I didn't get an apology either, the messages just stopped. I was ignored for a few days and then a message appeared as if nothing happened from my SIL.
My in laws enable her behaviour by always talking down to my husband and siding with her over any minor detail. I have told him, he needs to stick up for himself but he won't. It's easier for him to just 'take it'.
She was upset she didn't get a plus one but my other bridesmaids did. My other bridesmaids were either already married or had long term partners not one that had been on the scene for all of 3 months. She wanted him to be part of the bridal party and to be a groomsman. The best we could do was invite to the reception because of the allocated numbers, apparently that wasn't good enough! We were asked to drop a guest and then bump him up, I explained I wasn't going to do that as I'd already got the RSVP's from everyone. Anyway, he did come to the reception and he left after 2.5 hours and I didn't even communicate with him so I assume he felt uncomfortable. The reason I didn't communicate with him was because it's not up to me to introduce myself, 'oh hi I'm the bride, nice to meet you.' Not one of my husband's family said congratulations to us either and they tried to take photos of my husband with his family without me.
They've always done that, always got me to either take the photo or could I move out of the way as it's 'only family' allowed in photos. I wasn't invited to their thanksgivings/Christmases/birthdays either, I don't think my MIL liked the fact that her son was growing up. We were 24 when we met. They also tried to take one last 'hurrah holiday' to Cuba before my husband and I got married, leaving me behind. I was quite upset but let my husband go. I found it entertaining that my in laws were perfectly okay with me not going anywhere or invited but somehow my SIL boyfriend HAD to come to our wedding...?
Fast forward 4 years, they're still together. Cool. I still don't really know him that well, let's just say my husband and I's relationship with our in laws got majorly strained after our wedding.
So our niece is 1 this year. We were invited to go to the birthday party but we declined. We were told that we were selfish and didn't care about our niece. I do care about my niece and so does my husband but we're not free babysitters and I am very rarely invited out to go see her even if I tried to arrange it myself, it's either, SIL goes out with my husband and niece or we look after her for the day without SIL..? But my SIL will have ago at both of us over message to say we clearly don't care about spending time with them. SIL also makes a huge point about me either being aunty or not being aunty, it's like a weird power flex.
My in laws live in a different state but my SIL lives in our state. So my in laws very rarely see the child either. They wanted to go to sunny Florida now they've retired whereas we're out in California.
SIL had ago at us because she was asking for money towards our nieces savings account which we declined and bought her some presents instead. Apparently she 'already has' the presents we got her and maybe if we made more of an effort to see her we'd have known that... so we've wasted our money on some toys that could've gone into her savings account 🤷🏼♀️
She doesn't even get us presents that we would like, not that I'm complaining because I'm grateful for anything. I just think if you can't get us something we want ourselves how can you expect us to be okay with giving money to your daughter??
For a bit more context, she didn't come to my bachelorette party, instead she plastered all her insta that she was out with her bf and told my other bridesmaids it 'wasn't her thing' so we said the same words to my SIL as to why we weren't going. She doesn't make the effort to see either of us on our birthdays. She bitched about me to my MOH that I wasn't being fair to her that I can't understand that she's busy and then bitched about me again because I wasn't involving her with the wedding details?? It's either one or the other!
She said my wedding dress was tacky and 'not her style'. She didn't like the hairdresser doing her hair. She didn't like the layout of the venue etc etc.
Anyway I'm unsure where to go from here. I'm thinking of going LC or NC from my side and let my husband decide what he wants to do.
2024.05.14 10:08 Crowdada Memorable stories
After having summed up a few of my bad experiences to a friend a while back, it got me thinking of how often I get threatened on a regular basis. So I figured I'd share my most memorable one for some good fun.
During the holiday season we were dealing with a bunch of sick leaves and as a result were relatively understaffed for the large crowds of customers we were getting. In one of these days, a parttimer was asked a question by a customer and he simply replied that he could find the product he was looking for in its specific aisle. This guy didn't like that as he was expecting hos hand to be held and shown the product. but moved on afterward to the register regardless. After having been forced to wait in line a bit longer than he wanted he finally exploded on the poor guy doing register work, after which he set his sights on the employee who tried to fix the issue after she got inbetween and once more resulted to verbal insults and shouting. So my boss was called in, and was caught unaware by the agression of this middle aged dude throwing a hissy fit for seemingly no reason.
I happened to pass by as I heard the shouting pick up, so I figured I'd lend a hand. I came in to see a young dude with two young girls sitting awkwardly in his card just throwing every name in the book at my boss, who was completely blindsided by this silly bastard, which ticked me off.
So I ran in, stood inbetween the two, and calmly asked what his issue was, rookie mistake on my part, as this made me a new target and now the fourth employee he'd started shouting at. I had a fairly rough day and couldn't be bothered so I told him to just leave (although I did use harsher words) which set of the mother of all rants as he demanded to know my name, which I obviously denied. Some more back and forth shouting ensued and him attempting to stand head-to-head with me ensued as I was getting increasingly more furious. So I back off, once more told him to sod off as he's already embarassed himself in front of his young impressionable children enough.
He decided to take out his phone, snap a quick picture (I posed up, cause even in duress you gotta look fashionable) and made sure to tell me that he'd file a complaint and I'd lose my job, that he would go through hell and brimstone to ensure I wouldn't be in that store a month later. He once more squared up with me in an attempt to physically intimidate me while calling me some pretty lame insults like "hairy dog".
I'm quite pissed off but once again turn away, shout at him to have a great weekend and as I do this he nonetheless goes back to shouting at my boss, who had been mostly watching since I came in.
Upon hearing this I stormed right back in, shouting at him to either leave on foot or fly out. Four of my coworkers were standing in front of him at this point with tensions having risen high so I assume he finally realized just how silly he looked and rushed out the door, taking those poor kids with him.
Not only did I not get fired nor face any repercussions, I was promoted to assistant manager only a month later. I love happy endings.
Not the first nor only time customers have threatened to get me fired or attempted to physically intimidate me, but definitely the one I look back at with the most amusement due to how it all ended.
I bet most of you have been through similar nonsense before so what's your most memorable story about customers trying to cost you your job?
submitted by Crowdada to retailhell [link] [comments]
During the holiday season we were dealing with a bunch of sick leaves and as a result were relatively understaffed for the large crowds of customers we were getting. In one of these days, a parttimer was asked a question by a customer and he simply replied that he could find the product he was looking for in its specific aisle. This guy didn't like that as he was expecting hos hand to be held and shown the product. but moved on afterward to the register regardless. After having been forced to wait in line a bit longer than he wanted he finally exploded on the poor guy doing register work, after which he set his sights on the employee who tried to fix the issue after she got inbetween and once more resulted to verbal insults and shouting. So my boss was called in, and was caught unaware by the agression of this middle aged dude throwing a hissy fit for seemingly no reason.
I happened to pass by as I heard the shouting pick up, so I figured I'd lend a hand. I came in to see a young dude with two young girls sitting awkwardly in his card just throwing every name in the book at my boss, who was completely blindsided by this silly bastard, which ticked me off.
So I ran in, stood inbetween the two, and calmly asked what his issue was, rookie mistake on my part, as this made me a new target and now the fourth employee he'd started shouting at. I had a fairly rough day and couldn't be bothered so I told him to just leave (although I did use harsher words) which set of the mother of all rants as he demanded to know my name, which I obviously denied. Some more back and forth shouting ensued and him attempting to stand head-to-head with me ensued as I was getting increasingly more furious. So I back off, once more told him to sod off as he's already embarassed himself in front of his young impressionable children enough.
He decided to take out his phone, snap a quick picture (I posed up, cause even in duress you gotta look fashionable) and made sure to tell me that he'd file a complaint and I'd lose my job, that he would go through hell and brimstone to ensure I wouldn't be in that store a month later. He once more squared up with me in an attempt to physically intimidate me while calling me some pretty lame insults like "hairy dog".
I'm quite pissed off but once again turn away, shout at him to have a great weekend and as I do this he nonetheless goes back to shouting at my boss, who had been mostly watching since I came in.
Upon hearing this I stormed right back in, shouting at him to either leave on foot or fly out. Four of my coworkers were standing in front of him at this point with tensions having risen high so I assume he finally realized just how silly he looked and rushed out the door, taking those poor kids with him.
Not only did I not get fired nor face any repercussions, I was promoted to assistant manager only a month later. I love happy endings.
Not the first nor only time customers have threatened to get me fired or attempted to physically intimidate me, but definitely the one I look back at with the most amusement due to how it all ended.
I bet most of you have been through similar nonsense before so what's your most memorable story about customers trying to cost you your job?
2024.05.14 10:07 HeatherBell94 [Get] Doug D’Anna – $100 Million Copywriting Formula Swipe File Volume 1 Download
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2024.05.14 09:54 PRSouthern Did I screw up? Is it all my fault? 9 years gone.
My ex gf (32F) and I (35M) broke up after 9 total years. Have I just made a huge mistake?
My ex gf (32F) and I (35M) broke up after 9 years. Have I made a giant mistake as result of my circumstances?
We were together 6 years. First year or two was all gravy. Then we started having fights and it got so bad at year 6 we split up. A year later we started hanging out lightly again and fell back in love. She moved back in. Things went well again for a while. 6 months ago or so things started to get bad again. We agreed to pursue couples counseling. This wasn’t very effective unfortunately, which has added to the hurt if that makes sense.
When we fight (or fought), and I’m sort of ashamed to admit this, it bleeds into other areas of my life. Jobs were impacted. I felt like I didn’t have the energy to give due to the stress from constant arguing and intense arguing. My family relationships were sort of impacted because of the stress and constantly trying to seek out advice. Same with some friendships. I’ve had certain friends and folks that have wanted us to see it end for years. “But hey what do they know? We know the situation best.”
The truth is this person IS one of the few people on this planet that I feel genuinely cared about me aside from family, and the ONLY girl I’ve ever met who showed the kind of care and interest in me as she did. But we always seemed to be struggling to meet each other’s needs. For years there was a theme of her feeling unappreciated and unloved. For me, we didn’t go out and enjoy life enough. We rarely or very infrequently interacted with each other’s families. This frustrated me moreso vs her. Lots of my family is very local to me.
Look, I am not perfect and I am far from it. I’ve been unemployed for a year. But I did use my CC and my retirement funds to pay my way. I never borrowed money and she was very supportive and “cool” with my not working while I contemplated the next career step. I had a bad ending with my last company where I had lost both my grandfathers very close to each other, one of them to a self inflicted gunshot wound. It def effected me.
Anyways, two months ago I started putting two honest feet forward. I started applying to jobs. I’ve been exercising and have lost 10lbs in the last month alone, and down from 253 to 235 this year. I took on individual therapy a month ago even though I cannot afford it. Mostly to help get past prior work frustrations.
And then one day two weeks ago shit hit the fan with our relationship. Her feeling unappreciated and unloved for years and years culminated. She said she was done with couples counseling and I needed to fully focus on individual. This upset me. Things escalated, and we broke up.
I feel quit on. And betrayed. But I also feel past mistakes with work etc snowballed and she grew tired of insecurities I was expressing and complaining about regarding comparing to my working successful peers. In her words, she no longer knew how to offer support and felt unappreciated and unloved.
One thing that bugged me is we agreed to pursue individual therapy together at the recommendation of our couples counselor. She never got around to it. She blamed “delays in the Kaiser network.”
I feel I have pushed away and cut out someone special in my life. I am sad/numb. I fear this is just culmination of my mistakes and she grew tired of a “loser.”
What happened? Did I simply mess up?
TLDR: 9 year relationship ended. We tried counseling. We both felt our needs werent met constantly to where counseling wasnt effective. She has a good heart. Feel like she genuinely cared about me but it seemed hard so often to go out casually or spend time with each other’s families. She felt unappreciated and unloved, I felt betrayed when after acknowledging I needed to move forward in my life with career and fixing our relationship and putting two honest feet forward for the last 2 months and she quit when things escalated one day and we both felt wronged. Hard letting go. Feeling like I screwed up and this is all my fault and I just kind of suck at life?
submitted by PRSouthern to BreakUps [link] [comments]
My ex gf (32F) and I (35M) broke up after 9 years. Have I made a giant mistake as result of my circumstances?
We were together 6 years. First year or two was all gravy. Then we started having fights and it got so bad at year 6 we split up. A year later we started hanging out lightly again and fell back in love. She moved back in. Things went well again for a while. 6 months ago or so things started to get bad again. We agreed to pursue couples counseling. This wasn’t very effective unfortunately, which has added to the hurt if that makes sense.
When we fight (or fought), and I’m sort of ashamed to admit this, it bleeds into other areas of my life. Jobs were impacted. I felt like I didn’t have the energy to give due to the stress from constant arguing and intense arguing. My family relationships were sort of impacted because of the stress and constantly trying to seek out advice. Same with some friendships. I’ve had certain friends and folks that have wanted us to see it end for years. “But hey what do they know? We know the situation best.”
The truth is this person IS one of the few people on this planet that I feel genuinely cared about me aside from family, and the ONLY girl I’ve ever met who showed the kind of care and interest in me as she did. But we always seemed to be struggling to meet each other’s needs. For years there was a theme of her feeling unappreciated and unloved. For me, we didn’t go out and enjoy life enough. We rarely or very infrequently interacted with each other’s families. This frustrated me moreso vs her. Lots of my family is very local to me.
Look, I am not perfect and I am far from it. I’ve been unemployed for a year. But I did use my CC and my retirement funds to pay my way. I never borrowed money and she was very supportive and “cool” with my not working while I contemplated the next career step. I had a bad ending with my last company where I had lost both my grandfathers very close to each other, one of them to a self inflicted gunshot wound. It def effected me.
Anyways, two months ago I started putting two honest feet forward. I started applying to jobs. I’ve been exercising and have lost 10lbs in the last month alone, and down from 253 to 235 this year. I took on individual therapy a month ago even though I cannot afford it. Mostly to help get past prior work frustrations.
And then one day two weeks ago shit hit the fan with our relationship. Her feeling unappreciated and unloved for years and years culminated. She said she was done with couples counseling and I needed to fully focus on individual. This upset me. Things escalated, and we broke up.
I feel quit on. And betrayed. But I also feel past mistakes with work etc snowballed and she grew tired of insecurities I was expressing and complaining about regarding comparing to my working successful peers. In her words, she no longer knew how to offer support and felt unappreciated and unloved.
One thing that bugged me is we agreed to pursue individual therapy together at the recommendation of our couples counselor. She never got around to it. She blamed “delays in the Kaiser network.”
I feel I have pushed away and cut out someone special in my life. I am sad/numb. I fear this is just culmination of my mistakes and she grew tired of a “loser.”
What happened? Did I simply mess up?
TLDR: 9 year relationship ended. We tried counseling. We both felt our needs werent met constantly to where counseling wasnt effective. She has a good heart. Feel like she genuinely cared about me but it seemed hard so often to go out casually or spend time with each other’s families. She felt unappreciated and unloved, I felt betrayed when after acknowledging I needed to move forward in my life with career and fixing our relationship and putting two honest feet forward for the last 2 months and she quit when things escalated one day and we both felt wronged. Hard letting go. Feeling like I screwed up and this is all my fault and I just kind of suck at life?
2024.05.14 09:43 Thenn_Applicant Dorian Merryweather, Lord of Longtable + AC
Reddit Account: u/Thenn_Applicant
Discord Tag: Garin
Name and House: Dorian Merryweather
Age: 49
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.
Trait: Numerate
Skills: Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
Talents: Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
Negative Trait: N/A
Starting Title: Lord of Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography:
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
Timeline:
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
Family Tree:
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Auxiliary Character:
Name and House: Florys Merryweather
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual](0_0.png (896×1344) (discordapp.com))
Trait: Hale
Skills: Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
Negative Traits: N/A
Starting Title: Heir to Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Timeline:
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
NPCS:
Ser Leo Merryweather (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
Saathos Tevelyan: (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to
submitted by Thenn_Applicant to ITRPCommunity [link] [comments]
Discord Tag: Garin
Name and House: Dorian Merryweather
Age: 49
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.
Trait: Numerate
Skills: Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
Talents: Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
Negative Trait: N/A
Starting Title: Lord of Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography:
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
Timeline:
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
Family Tree:
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Auxiliary Character:
Name and House: Florys Merryweather
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual](0_0.png (896×1344) (discordapp.com))
Trait: Hale
Skills: Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
Negative Traits: N/A
Starting Title: Heir to Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Timeline:
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
NPCS:
Ser Leo Merryweather (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
Saathos Tevelyan: (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to
2024.05.14 09:34 Pimasterjimmy Tales of Zippy and Friends: Katniss the keeper of pens. (Boomer tries to get me fired for Handing her a sticker)(tw: suicide)
My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
submitted by Pimasterjimmy to Talesofzippy [link] [comments]
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
2024.05.14 09:29 Pimasterjimmy Tales of Zippy and Friends: Katniss the keeper of pens. (Boomer tries to get me fired for Handing her a sticker)(tw: suicide)
My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
submitted by Pimasterjimmy to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
2024.05.14 09:08 jhm-grose MarineNet Catalogue Gets a Boost of Proctorless CEUs. Half-pointers now available for study!
Great news for all my Junior Enlisted Warriors. MarineNet has published a bunch of classes now worth half a CEU for a mere hour of study, and there are a lot of them. While I have not personally curated all the 0.5 CEU classes to see if they are proctorless, I will edit the post once I have the time to run through the catalogue. But right now, I'd say we're looking at a whopping 71 CEUs that don't need a proctor now.
submitted by jhm-grose to USMC [link] [comments]
| Course Title | Course Code | CEUs |
|---|---|---|
| Automatic Identification Technology (AIT) | USMCLPDF02 | 0.5 |
| Basic Personal Property Entitlements and Allowances | LPDDMOPEA1 | 0.5 |
| Cargo Movement Part 1- Introduction | LPDDMOCM01 | 0.5 |
| Cargo Movement Part 2 | USMCLPDF12 | 0.5 |
| Cargo Movement Part 3 - Shipment Planning | LPDDMOCMP3 | 0.5 |
| Cargo Movement Part 4 - Shipment Operations | LPDDMOCMP4 | 0.5 |
| Cargo Movement Part 5 Receiving and Distribution | LPDDMOCMP5 | 0.5 |
| Container Management Part 1-Terminology | USMCLPDF08 | 0.5 |
| Container Management Part 2 - Operations | LPDDMOCM02 | 0.5 |
| Effective Business Writing | DCDWRITING | 1 |
| Enhancing the Customer Experience | LPDDMOECE1 | 0.5 |
| Finance Training - Transportation Account Code TAC 101 | LPDDMOTAC1 | 0.5 |
| Food Service Nutrition Fundamentals | FDSV01NTR1 | 3.5 |
| Freight Management Part 1 – Roles and Responsibilities | LPDDMOFMP1 | 0.5 |
| Freight Management Part 2 – Transportation Analysis | LPDDMOFMP2 | 0.5 |
| Grammar and Spelling | DCDGRAMMAR | 1 |
| Impact on Stakeholders for Six Sigma | CPILSSF004 | 0.5 |
| In-Transit Visibility (ITV) Part 1 | LPDDMOITV1 | 0.5 |
| In-Transit Visibility (ITV) Part 2 | LPDDMOITV2 | 0.5 |
| Introduction to Automated Information Systems (AIS) | USMCLPDF01 | 0.5 |
| MAGTF Part 1 - Strategic Distribution | LPDDMOSD01 | 0.5 |
| MAGTF Part 2:Operational/Theater Distribution | LPDDMOOTD2 | 0.5 |
| MAGTF Part 3 - Tactical Distribution | LPDDMOMTD1 | 0.5 |
| Means of Transportation & Types of Shipments | LPDDMOMOT1 | 0.5 |
| Microsoft 365 Word - Fundamentals | M365WORDAA | 2 |
| Microsoft 365 Word - Intermediate | M365WORDAB | 5 |
| Microsoft Excel 365 - Fundamentals | DCDEXL365C | 3 |
| Microsoft Excel 365 - Intermediate | DCDEXL365D | 4 |
| Microsoft Excel 365 - Expert | DCDEXL365E | 1 |
| Microsoft SharePoint Online | MSSHRPNTAA | 2 |
| Microsoft Teams - Fundamentals | DCDMSTEAMS | 2 |
| NetUSR-MC New User Training | DRRSNET01A | 2 |
| Packaging - Container Fabrication | LPDDMOPCF1 | 0.5 |
| Packaging - Hazardous Materials | LPDDMOPHM1 | 0.5 |
| Packaging - Marking | LPDDMOPMK1 | 0.5 |
| Packaging - Publications and Applicable Documents | LPDDMOPAD3 | 0.5 |
| Packaging - Sequence of Packing Operations | LPDDMOSPO1 | 0.5 |
| Personal Property - Quality Assurance | LPDDMOQA01 | 0.5 |
| Personal Property and Passenger Transportation: Regulations and Publications | LPDDMOPPT1 | 0.5 |
| Personally Procured Moves | LPDDMOPPM1 | 0.5 |
| Port Call Procedures | LPDDMOPCP1 | 0.5 |
| Preservation Methods 10-50 | LPDDMOPPM6 | 0.5 |
| Separation and Retirement Entitlements | LPDDMOSRE1 | 0.5 |
| Six Sigma Yellow Belt | DCDLSSYBAA | 3 |
| Six Sigma Yellow Belt Part II | DCDLSSYBAB | 4 |
| Special Packaging Instructions | LPDDMOSPI1 | 0.5 |
| Storage Entitlements | LPDDMOSE01 | 0.5 |
| Terminal Area Security Officer (TASO) | 0688AO0000 | 1.5 |
| Third Party Payment System Part 1 (TPPS) - Approver Role | LPDDMOTPS1 | 0.5 |
| Third Party Payment System Part 2 (TPPS)- Certifier Role | LPDDMOTPS2 | 0.5 |
| Use of Force | ILEUOF001A | 0.5 |
| USMC - Air Quality Compliance | HQMCAQC001 | 0.5 |
| USMC – Hazardous Materials Transportation for Drivers | MCIEHMT01A | 0.5 |
| USMC – Hazardous Waste Management Refresher | MCIEHWR01A | 0.5 |
| USMC - Introduction to Hazardous Material and Hazardous Waste | HQMCHMHW01 | 0.5 |
| USMC E-ITSM Remedy Features and Functionality Overview | MCSCOVW901 | 0 (prereq for further E-ITSM courses) |
| USMC E-ITSM Request Fulfillment Process and Remedy Tool | MCSCRQF901 | 0 (prereq for further E-ITSM courses) |
| USMC E-ITSM Problem Management Process and Remedy Tool | MCSCPBM901 | 1 |
| USMC E-ITSM Product Ordering | MCSCPRO901 | 1 |
| USMC E-ITSM Smart Reporting Building Reports | MCSCSRR901 | 1 |
| USMC HQ/MCICOM – Environmental Compliance for Facilities Maintenance Training | HQMCECFMP1 | 0.5 |
| USMC HQ/MCICOM – Fuel Handling, Storage & Transportation | HQMCFHST01 | 0.5 |
| USMC HQ/MCICOM - Spill Prevention Control and Countermeasure (SPCC) General Awareness | HQMCSPCCC1 | 0.5 |
| USMC HQ/MCICOM - Storage Tank Management | HQMCSTMT01 | 0.5 |
| USMC HQ/MCICOM- Water Quality Compliance | HQMCWQC001 | 0.5 |
| USMC/MCICOM – Environmental Compliance for Heavy Equipment | HQMCECHE01 | 0.5 |
| The Vietnam War - Vol 1, 2, Episode 1-5, 6-10 | VIETVO [...] | 10 total, 1 per course |
2024.05.14 09:04 Thoughtzzfeelz Is her coldness because she likes me?
I (23M) have been crushing on a girl coworker (20F) and I cant tell if she likes me. I should start by saying that she seems to be an overall quiet, reserved, almost serious type of person To most people anyways.
We’ve worked at the same place now for almost two years and in that time especially in the last 8 months she has showed some signs that she may like me: she has started some convo’s with me asking about my personal life, has greeted me kindly on ocassion, has said my name out loud once at a random time when walking by, has prolonged 1on1 time, has laughed at jokes, Ive noticed her looking at me from a distance on many occasion’s. I should also add she’s one of only 15 people who follow me on Spotify which she did by her own doing, (sounds very specific, but makes sense with context).
But at the same time she has also done many things that would indicate she doesn’t like me: Her greetings or goodbyes can be very un enthused if any at all, she sometimes pretends like i’m not there when I’m around her, she has at times walked away or gone on her phone immediately in moments we end up 1on1, has given one word subtle careless responses to jokes or questions.
Both sides of this behavior occur frequently at random week to week, since the start. Do you think there’s any chance that she’s really a nice girl that likes me and is being nervous, insecure and protective of her emotions. Or is it really just shes a mean girl that doesn’t really care and is toying with me? Like most would say.
I tend to naturally match her energy by never forcing anything and backing off when shes cold, Whilst being consistently friendly and doing my share of subtle glances and convo starting. At the right times to show I like her.
But If she does actually like me. I fear that, backing off only reinforces her insecurity with me, Thus making her even more cold towards me. Putting the situation in a weird feedback loop.
I should also add:
For both of us there’s “other people” involved. Ive been told some other girls like me, and I have definitely been friendly with those other girls as well (But never in front of the girl I like). those girls are way more direct, consistent and outgoing with me. But I really only care about the girl I like. So i’ve never been anything other than just friendly with them. And I certainly don’t pursue them the same way.
And I know for sure theres other guys that like her and flirt with her, she may or may not be involved with them. I don’t know? But I don’t see her necessarily pursuing them.
It’s overall a tricky situation thats been messing with me for quite some time…
submitted by Thoughtzzfeelz to Crushes [link] [comments]
We’ve worked at the same place now for almost two years and in that time especially in the last 8 months she has showed some signs that she may like me: she has started some convo’s with me asking about my personal life, has greeted me kindly on ocassion, has said my name out loud once at a random time when walking by, has prolonged 1on1 time, has laughed at jokes, Ive noticed her looking at me from a distance on many occasion’s. I should also add she’s one of only 15 people who follow me on Spotify which she did by her own doing, (sounds very specific, but makes sense with context).
But at the same time she has also done many things that would indicate she doesn’t like me: Her greetings or goodbyes can be very un enthused if any at all, she sometimes pretends like i’m not there when I’m around her, she has at times walked away or gone on her phone immediately in moments we end up 1on1, has given one word subtle careless responses to jokes or questions.
Both sides of this behavior occur frequently at random week to week, since the start. Do you think there’s any chance that she’s really a nice girl that likes me and is being nervous, insecure and protective of her emotions. Or is it really just shes a mean girl that doesn’t really care and is toying with me? Like most would say.
I tend to naturally match her energy by never forcing anything and backing off when shes cold, Whilst being consistently friendly and doing my share of subtle glances and convo starting. At the right times to show I like her.
But If she does actually like me. I fear that, backing off only reinforces her insecurity with me, Thus making her even more cold towards me. Putting the situation in a weird feedback loop.
I should also add:
For both of us there’s “other people” involved. Ive been told some other girls like me, and I have definitely been friendly with those other girls as well (But never in front of the girl I like). those girls are way more direct, consistent and outgoing with me. But I really only care about the girl I like. So i’ve never been anything other than just friendly with them. And I certainly don’t pursue them the same way.
And I know for sure theres other guys that like her and flirt with her, she may or may not be involved with them. I don’t know? But I don’t see her necessarily pursuing them.
It’s overall a tricky situation thats been messing with me for quite some time…
2024.05.14 07:27 Scolarion Tip for all super new players wanting retired heroes!
Hey all!
This past week I started playing and was following Melfi's guide. At some point it got super confusing as to why I couldn't find heroes like Alchemist or Black Mage, since such a heavy % gold boost and the description "You should quit this game if you don't plan to put him in your lineup" put such a spotlight on them.
So after some searching I found out they, along with a bunch of other heroes, got retired a while ago. To me that seemed like a complete slap to the face, especially when you consider that older players got to keep the heroes. I'd even say it's straight up immoral to keep a hero like alchemist from newer players while keeping it for older players, since there's such an emphasis on gold and newer players may be tempted into buying gold with real life money because of it.
Since I do love the gameplay but absolutely hated the way the devs thew such disdvantages at me (which stung extra hard after buying the ad removal bundle) I did some Sherlock Holmes'ing and found a loophole to get the older heroes!
Beware though... Upside: You get all the old good stuff. Downside: You have to start over.
Step 1: Unlink both Facebook and Google Play (not sure about iOS) from your account. Uninstall the app.
Step 2: Remove the Wild Castle game from your Facebook account. Click your profile picture in the top right of Facebook. Select Settings & privacy, then click Settings. Click Apps and Websites in the left side menu. Go to the app or game you want to remove, then next to the name of the app or game, click Remove.
Step 3: The wildcastle.io website still runs on the game version with all the older heroes. Spend an evening or so leveling up your account there and getting all the heroes available. I finished up unlocking them all around wave 85-90, getting the 100 challenge Yeti. Beware!! Don't click any unnecessary menu buttons or leaderboard buttons, since it may freeze the website and reset your progress. Also!! Keep this final game state opened in your browser until finishing all the steps so you have a backup point if your phone acts up.
Step 4: Once you unlocked all the Heroes, link your Facebook account to the new account.
Step 5: Reinstall Wild Castle on your phone. If it opens your old account through Google Play (or iOS?) unlink it again and reinstall until you get a fresh account.
Step 6: Once you get a fresh level 1 account. Link your Facebook account and it should pull up the data from your browser game. I pressed the Save Game button in the settings on my phone after just to make sure (and I was paranoid I'd lose the progress).
Step 7: Optional. You can double check if it worked by closing your browser version now and reopening it. In my case it said I have to update to the newer version just like before when I had my original account. I assume this verifies my account is up to date on the patching now, but don't take my word for that blindly.
Small caveat. I now can't link my Google Play to my account because it will shoot me back to a fresh account as soon as I do. When I click link Facebook it takes me back to the new account though. Since I'd like my Google Play to be connected too I shot the devs a support message, also asking if it's possible to restore the 'ad removal' purchase. Not expecting anything to come from that, but I'll update the post if I get more information.
Maybe as a final message to the developers. It truly truly truly felt like a slap in the face when I realized all these good heroes loads of people have were unavailable to me. If they were event heroes, sure I'd understand, but you basically took a ton of content out of the game and did nothing to compensate (as far as I can tell, correct me if I'm wrong). Please just unretire the heroes so people don't have to jump through these kind of crazy loopholes to properly play the game.
Hope whoever was looking for the same answers got some good information out of this. Either way, have a good one!
submitted by Scolarion to WildCastle [link] [comments]
This past week I started playing and was following Melfi's guide. At some point it got super confusing as to why I couldn't find heroes like Alchemist or Black Mage, since such a heavy % gold boost and the description "You should quit this game if you don't plan to put him in your lineup" put such a spotlight on them.
So after some searching I found out they, along with a bunch of other heroes, got retired a while ago. To me that seemed like a complete slap to the face, especially when you consider that older players got to keep the heroes. I'd even say it's straight up immoral to keep a hero like alchemist from newer players while keeping it for older players, since there's such an emphasis on gold and newer players may be tempted into buying gold with real life money because of it.
Since I do love the gameplay but absolutely hated the way the devs thew such disdvantages at me (which stung extra hard after buying the ad removal bundle) I did some Sherlock Holmes'ing and found a loophole to get the older heroes!
Beware though... Upside: You get all the old good stuff. Downside: You have to start over.
Step 1: Unlink both Facebook and Google Play (not sure about iOS) from your account. Uninstall the app.
Step 2: Remove the Wild Castle game from your Facebook account. Click your profile picture in the top right of Facebook. Select Settings & privacy, then click Settings. Click Apps and Websites in the left side menu. Go to the app or game you want to remove, then next to the name of the app or game, click Remove.
Step 3: The wildcastle.io website still runs on the game version with all the older heroes. Spend an evening or so leveling up your account there and getting all the heroes available. I finished up unlocking them all around wave 85-90, getting the 100 challenge Yeti. Beware!! Don't click any unnecessary menu buttons or leaderboard buttons, since it may freeze the website and reset your progress. Also!! Keep this final game state opened in your browser until finishing all the steps so you have a backup point if your phone acts up.
Step 4: Once you unlocked all the Heroes, link your Facebook account to the new account.
Step 5: Reinstall Wild Castle on your phone. If it opens your old account through Google Play (or iOS?) unlink it again and reinstall until you get a fresh account.
Step 6: Once you get a fresh level 1 account. Link your Facebook account and it should pull up the data from your browser game. I pressed the Save Game button in the settings on my phone after just to make sure (and I was paranoid I'd lose the progress).
Step 7: Optional. You can double check if it worked by closing your browser version now and reopening it. In my case it said I have to update to the newer version just like before when I had my original account. I assume this verifies my account is up to date on the patching now, but don't take my word for that blindly.
Small caveat. I now can't link my Google Play to my account because it will shoot me back to a fresh account as soon as I do. When I click link Facebook it takes me back to the new account though. Since I'd like my Google Play to be connected too I shot the devs a support message, also asking if it's possible to restore the 'ad removal' purchase. Not expecting anything to come from that, but I'll update the post if I get more information.
Maybe as a final message to the developers. It truly truly truly felt like a slap in the face when I realized all these good heroes loads of people have were unavailable to me. If they were event heroes, sure I'd understand, but you basically took a ton of content out of the game and did nothing to compensate (as far as I can tell, correct me if I'm wrong). Please just unretire the heroes so people don't have to jump through these kind of crazy loopholes to properly play the game.
Hope whoever was looking for the same answers got some good information out of this. Either way, have a good one!
2024.05.14 06:59 tarantulatemptress I talk too much.
I work in retail as a cashier. I speak to almost every customer, kindly, whole heartedly, and attentively. However, some coworkers either feel as though I talk too much. I only talk while moving, so I'm not just sitting there chatting after or in the middle of a transaction, and I end conversations once all my tasks are done promptly. My problem is that my coworkers are incredibly disrespectful when they say it. I've been told the reason my nickname at an old job being "meg", as in meg from family guy, was warranted. I speak to them like dogs, ie telling them good job or just over complimenting them for helping me, and I've had a new manager snap at me for calling over to him for assistance.
I want to speak to a manager about it when I go back, but I'm not sure how to word my concerns... I'm open to criticism, truly I am, but not public outbursts of anger and snide comments. I really just want mature conversations about improving my interactions professionally.
I'm so close to just crawling into a shell, I'm uncomfortable just opening my mouth and now my work day is surrounded with anxiety on where the next problem with arise.. Im.. just trying to be nice and supportive..
submitted by tarantulatemptress to workplace_bullying [link] [comments]
I want to speak to a manager about it when I go back, but I'm not sure how to word my concerns... I'm open to criticism, truly I am, but not public outbursts of anger and snide comments. I really just want mature conversations about improving my interactions professionally.
I'm so close to just crawling into a shell, I'm uncomfortable just opening my mouth and now my work day is surrounded with anxiety on where the next problem with arise.. Im.. just trying to be nice and supportive..
2024.05.14 06:59 Legendarydust Safety/steel toe boots Question
A little bit of background, I just retired from the Air Force and I worked in Quality Assurance and managed safety programs since around 2014. The Air Force uses OSHA guidance but has a whole other set of guidelines as well. Now I am on the civilian side and I picked up a job at Walmart for “fun” money while I wait until my son graduates and we can relocate. Anyways, I work in the stocking department where we unload loose cargo stacked to the top of the semi trailer, unload stuff off conveyor belts, and move full pallets around with pallet jacks (both powered and unpowered). Now to the question, Walmart does not require any type of safety shoes at all, they just say closed toe. How could this not violate OSHA requirements? Just today people were moving pallets of drinks stacked at least 6.5 feet tall with a manual pallet jack through the store with regular tennis shoes on. After my first day in stocking I switched out to my composite toe boots because I didn’t feel safe but I don’t feel safe for my coworkers either and most of them are 18 to early 20’s and I would hate to see one of them get hurt and it effect the rest of their life. Thanks for any insight.
submitted by Legendarydust to SafetyProfessionals [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 06:56 coldking2024 Lego dimensions retrospective, & The dlc levels that felt a little weak, & annoying areas with glitches other issues.
Having spent a few dozen hours in the game & menu loading a save file that had 230 gold bricks……. I realized how frustrating this game was and the potential it could’ve had. I just am at a loss for words on the game. This game had SO MUCH POTENTIAl but had too much focus on the toys, & bugs or game breaking engine problems.
I haven't touched dimensions in a hot minute but.. really wish lego added more PATCHES before they shut down the game & wish it got its own remastered lego game without the toys…. or some version with a % meter & better save system…. Feel like if TT worked longer on it, they could have been better fixes with the game & the other lego ip dlc’s.
I noticed a few times HOW ANNOYED I was when my many save files from 2019, 2023, & 2024 all were gone….. on ps4 I just gave up caring and was disappointed even after completing it & saving the game to my console. so furthermore after I just stopped playing, not sure if this is a bug but was annoying.
Starting with the dlc's i noticed things felt off like each dlc was the weakest or too short for a game entry story, or more specifically the simpsons one recreating the episode with homer & the chilli cook off, of all the new story levels it was fun but felt weird. All the other lego film games got it down very well gameplay wise so, why not do a lego batman movie or a lego simpson's game? & have it's own game... instead of dimensions? ALSO THE PUZZLES THE COLOR PUZZLES THE KEYSTONES all annoying. DOING THEM EVERY DAM TIME I GOT SOOOOOO BORED… decent game, fun worlds, annoying locking content in it and no 100% to finish. Only letting the player use a character…. That was Dedicated TO THAT SPECIFIC world locking you out… is annoying also cant access mini-kits without said character… This is not fun TT…. but moving on to a few other things, did not care for switching the keystones, and using vehicles for every dam puzzle or ramp.
The best level was probably fantastic beasts or portal & that could’ve & should have been added in its own lego Hogwarts FB saga game.
I enjoyed the lego ninjago game more then I thought I would, & the first lego movie game was cool just felt weird they put Lego Batman movie in dimensions vs its own separate actual lego game.
The movie scene cutscenes for each dlc were recreated in the dimensions in-game engine & had a fun charm to them. But at times was very disappointing as the quality difference is very noticeable. On the contrary, The LEGO Movie Game used movie cutscenes beautifully and it worked out really well. Could be a licensing issue, but if not I have no idea why they didn’t just use movie cutscenes where they could. I understand not wanting to release 60% of the movie in the game, but they could always shape it around the scenes shown in the trailer. The batman story pack felt like devs rushed it…. Not bringing actors back for discount va’s. Robin sounds like a kid in this dlc not anything like Michael cera. I can understand if they didn't get every one back for the game for rights or contract issues but just was weird. & newt or the FB story were interesting using new keystone & magic abilties. The ghostbuster ones were weird since I never cared for the movie..
There are a few differences like In the dlc levels, Batman is picked up by Alfred outside the power plant and heads directly to Commissioner Gordon's retirement party. In the film, he heads home and the retirement party is the next evening.
Some of the voice work is off. Many characters don’t sound like they did in the movie (I know they’re different VA’s) Alfred sounds nothing like movie Alfred (Ralph Fiennes), Robin sounds nothing like movie Robin (Michael Cera), etc. Other LEGO projects have had fairly good voice replication.
The LEGO Batman Movie expansion is all and all a success. It’s given us the best portal base so far, as well as the first expansion to give us 2 mini-figures which are both great. The game is great and funny as well as a decent length. The game only suffers from occasional bugs and terrible voice acting.
Maybe I just really disliked the keystone puzzles but I was really disappointed in it overall. The scenes were funny bringing in joker & all the villains, I enjoyed seeing the gremlins & agent smith from matrix & sauron’s eye but wish they made a lego Batman game not within dimensions.
If you want to play around in the LEGO Batman Movie HUB world you can access to the HUB world for maximum fun. Id say just try the hub level if you are interested but I felt bored with the lego batman movie game dlc levels. Sadly its REPLAY-Ability was a 5… compared to fantastic beasts and others.
imagine what they could've done with a full roster of batman's villains & heroes in a full open linear game with gotham, & sure we've had tons of batman games but just loved will arnett's version of batman. I really love will arnett so felt like dimensions needed more of that batman.
Too much clutter & focus on building vehicles when they aren't all that interesting or useful…. Switching from the ecto car to the ghost trap each time felt stupid. Even tho they fixed it in 2016 with the characters instant traps. Flying characters freak out when you are next to the edge of the map & fall off repeatedly or just stand there hovering… did NO ONE THINK about patching that?
I also understand this is not a typical lego game & the audience is for kids but at least try to juggle both demographics for those who dont want to waste time?
No percent on gold bricks collected, or the items…. Why couldn’t they added a save system where if you lose your file you can save & quit with the bricks you found why is it on ps4 ps5…. Somehow deleting the game doesn’t remember where you left off?? Was this a patch that they never fixed?
Also, anyone else find it weird that the courtroom from Ghostbusters 2 isn't in the world? They even have the whole Titanic, something that only appears for 30 seconds in the movie, but one of the most important scenes isn't in the world at all or hell adding more side characters or locations why not explore inside of a building?
Also X-PO talks too much, every line of him talking during hints. I've made the choice to leave the main campaign unfinished just so he can stay silent while I play other levels. In the actual campaign and cutscenes he's fine but they made a huge mistake making him react to puzzles.
The bugs and lack of polish ruin the game..massively this is a massively outdated engine and the more they keep adding to it the buggier the games get. I'd love to see a new one built from the ground up for next gen capable created of anything they can think of with some impressive graphics. When you look at the fidelity of ratchet and clank on PS Pro there's no reason this game can't look as good as the Lego movies or very close, it's just laziness and greed (lack of investment from WB wanting to just churn out content quickly on the old engine) even on ps4 its annoying losing your save file deleting the game then reinstalling It AND LOSING ALL YOUR PROGRESS!!!!
In addition to that.... if your in game and you come across a character with some of the features or skills that you don't own and it doesn’t register or displays a hint message on your system with them… saying use this specific character, your forever locked out of hiring them when you need them, after it has taken them home & shows the ability… the game forgets…. you own them, while the game gets amnesia, even if you own the tag it gets stuck with missing features, forcing you to reload & quit, Really lame, as well as if you don’t own a certain character & need them for specific puzzle your just screwed.. it sounds like this would have been an afterthought amidst the torrent of further stand-alone level and story packs not being patched & lack of auto save or levels not being able to cloud save. >_< why? who knows...
So many boring hubs, & races locking variety or enjoyment, too many hubs that had New York…ghostbusters 1980 New York, ghostbusters 2016 New York……. FB New York…..Lego Batman movie Gotham hub just looks like New York.
Characters like the witch newt Gandalf all have the same magic ability, not interesting since they all do the exact same thing.
The vehicles are very boring, not very interesting too small. Why is chima here??? Random moments that just feel weird the battle arena was fun but after a while I got bored.
Also, I kinda wish there were in game unlockable characters: Like if you bought the Sonic dlc, beating quests would unlock the ability to buy Amy, Tails, Shadow etc. or The Simpsons allowing you to buy Marge, Lisa, maggie or each of the ghostbusters, etc. with studs.
Overall there were a few interesting levels but could’ve been cooler if we got a lego Batman movie game, or a lego bttf game, or a lego ghostbusters game, yada yada..... & just surprised at it not being its own game instead of within dimensions. I know sadly this likely wont happen tho.. it disappoints me that the game is mostly looking at build instructions, back & forth again and again….. I am very upset dimensions wont ever be remastered added with better patches because what I had played felt muddied & not crafted well. I don’t mean to be so negative but it was weird having these problems front & center. in the end too many glitches & gameplay loop moments.
submitted by coldking2024 to Legodimensions [link] [comments]
I haven't touched dimensions in a hot minute but.. really wish lego added more PATCHES before they shut down the game & wish it got its own remastered lego game without the toys…. or some version with a % meter & better save system…. Feel like if TT worked longer on it, they could have been better fixes with the game & the other lego ip dlc’s.
I noticed a few times HOW ANNOYED I was when my many save files from 2019, 2023, & 2024 all were gone….. on ps4 I just gave up caring and was disappointed even after completing it & saving the game to my console. so furthermore after I just stopped playing, not sure if this is a bug but was annoying.
Starting with the dlc's i noticed things felt off like each dlc was the weakest or too short for a game entry story, or more specifically the simpsons one recreating the episode with homer & the chilli cook off, of all the new story levels it was fun but felt weird. All the other lego film games got it down very well gameplay wise so, why not do a lego batman movie or a lego simpson's game? & have it's own game... instead of dimensions? ALSO THE PUZZLES THE COLOR PUZZLES THE KEYSTONES all annoying. DOING THEM EVERY DAM TIME I GOT SOOOOOO BORED… decent game, fun worlds, annoying locking content in it and no 100% to finish. Only letting the player use a character…. That was Dedicated TO THAT SPECIFIC world locking you out… is annoying also cant access mini-kits without said character… This is not fun TT…. but moving on to a few other things, did not care for switching the keystones, and using vehicles for every dam puzzle or ramp.
The best level was probably fantastic beasts or portal & that could’ve & should have been added in its own lego Hogwarts FB saga game.
I enjoyed the lego ninjago game more then I thought I would, & the first lego movie game was cool just felt weird they put Lego Batman movie in dimensions vs its own separate actual lego game.
The movie scene cutscenes for each dlc were recreated in the dimensions in-game engine & had a fun charm to them. But at times was very disappointing as the quality difference is very noticeable. On the contrary, The LEGO Movie Game used movie cutscenes beautifully and it worked out really well. Could be a licensing issue, but if not I have no idea why they didn’t just use movie cutscenes where they could. I understand not wanting to release 60% of the movie in the game, but they could always shape it around the scenes shown in the trailer. The batman story pack felt like devs rushed it…. Not bringing actors back for discount va’s. Robin sounds like a kid in this dlc not anything like Michael cera. I can understand if they didn't get every one back for the game for rights or contract issues but just was weird. & newt or the FB story were interesting using new keystone & magic abilties. The ghostbuster ones were weird since I never cared for the movie..
There are a few differences like In the dlc levels, Batman is picked up by Alfred outside the power plant and heads directly to Commissioner Gordon's retirement party. In the film, he heads home and the retirement party is the next evening.
Some of the voice work is off. Many characters don’t sound like they did in the movie (I know they’re different VA’s) Alfred sounds nothing like movie Alfred (Ralph Fiennes), Robin sounds nothing like movie Robin (Michael Cera), etc. Other LEGO projects have had fairly good voice replication.
The LEGO Batman Movie expansion is all and all a success. It’s given us the best portal base so far, as well as the first expansion to give us 2 mini-figures which are both great. The game is great and funny as well as a decent length. The game only suffers from occasional bugs and terrible voice acting.
Maybe I just really disliked the keystone puzzles but I was really disappointed in it overall. The scenes were funny bringing in joker & all the villains, I enjoyed seeing the gremlins & agent smith from matrix & sauron’s eye but wish they made a lego Batman game not within dimensions.
If you want to play around in the LEGO Batman Movie HUB world you can access to the HUB world for maximum fun. Id say just try the hub level if you are interested but I felt bored with the lego batman movie game dlc levels. Sadly its REPLAY-Ability was a 5… compared to fantastic beasts and others.
imagine what they could've done with a full roster of batman's villains & heroes in a full open linear game with gotham, & sure we've had tons of batman games but just loved will arnett's version of batman. I really love will arnett so felt like dimensions needed more of that batman.
Too much clutter & focus on building vehicles when they aren't all that interesting or useful…. Switching from the ecto car to the ghost trap each time felt stupid. Even tho they fixed it in 2016 with the characters instant traps. Flying characters freak out when you are next to the edge of the map & fall off repeatedly or just stand there hovering… did NO ONE THINK about patching that?
I also understand this is not a typical lego game & the audience is for kids but at least try to juggle both demographics for those who dont want to waste time?
No percent on gold bricks collected, or the items…. Why couldn’t they added a save system where if you lose your file you can save & quit with the bricks you found why is it on ps4 ps5…. Somehow deleting the game doesn’t remember where you left off?? Was this a patch that they never fixed?
Also, anyone else find it weird that the courtroom from Ghostbusters 2 isn't in the world? They even have the whole Titanic, something that only appears for 30 seconds in the movie, but one of the most important scenes isn't in the world at all or hell adding more side characters or locations why not explore inside of a building?
Also X-PO talks too much, every line of him talking during hints. I've made the choice to leave the main campaign unfinished just so he can stay silent while I play other levels. In the actual campaign and cutscenes he's fine but they made a huge mistake making him react to puzzles.
The bugs and lack of polish ruin the game..massively this is a massively outdated engine and the more they keep adding to it the buggier the games get. I'd love to see a new one built from the ground up for next gen capable created of anything they can think of with some impressive graphics. When you look at the fidelity of ratchet and clank on PS Pro there's no reason this game can't look as good as the Lego movies or very close, it's just laziness and greed (lack of investment from WB wanting to just churn out content quickly on the old engine) even on ps4 its annoying losing your save file deleting the game then reinstalling It AND LOSING ALL YOUR PROGRESS!!!!
In addition to that.... if your in game and you come across a character with some of the features or skills that you don't own and it doesn’t register or displays a hint message on your system with them… saying use this specific character, your forever locked out of hiring them when you need them, after it has taken them home & shows the ability… the game forgets…. you own them, while the game gets amnesia, even if you own the tag it gets stuck with missing features, forcing you to reload & quit, Really lame, as well as if you don’t own a certain character & need them for specific puzzle your just screwed.. it sounds like this would have been an afterthought amidst the torrent of further stand-alone level and story packs not being patched & lack of auto save or levels not being able to cloud save. >_< why? who knows...
So many boring hubs, & races locking variety or enjoyment, too many hubs that had New York…ghostbusters 1980 New York, ghostbusters 2016 New York……. FB New York…..Lego Batman movie Gotham hub just looks like New York.
Characters like the witch newt Gandalf all have the same magic ability, not interesting since they all do the exact same thing.
The vehicles are very boring, not very interesting too small. Why is chima here??? Random moments that just feel weird the battle arena was fun but after a while I got bored.
Also, I kinda wish there were in game unlockable characters: Like if you bought the Sonic dlc, beating quests would unlock the ability to buy Amy, Tails, Shadow etc. or The Simpsons allowing you to buy Marge, Lisa, maggie or each of the ghostbusters, etc. with studs.
Overall there were a few interesting levels but could’ve been cooler if we got a lego Batman movie game, or a lego bttf game, or a lego ghostbusters game, yada yada..... & just surprised at it not being its own game instead of within dimensions. I know sadly this likely wont happen tho.. it disappoints me that the game is mostly looking at build instructions, back & forth again and again….. I am very upset dimensions wont ever be remastered added with better patches because what I had played felt muddied & not crafted well. I don’t mean to be so negative but it was weird having these problems front & center. in the end too many glitches & gameplay loop moments.
2024.05.14 06:46 yourmomsaysimsexy i’ve never done ANYTHING but pick
i have worked at walmart for over a year, and not ONCE have i been assigned to stage, dispense, prep orders, do exceptions, or even packing! the only thing i was taught how to do was picking. i really wish i could learn something new because doing picks every single day gets really boring. even the people who got hired almost a year AFTER me have gotten to dispense, and do exceptions.
my pick rate isn’t even bad. it used to be in the 80’s when i first started, but eventually i was able to get it up to 200 at most.
however, nobody said a word when my pick rate was getting good. i was first place on the leaderboard for two weeks in a row for the entire shift, and i STILL didn’t get to do anything new.
so, why can’t i do exceptions, pack, dispense, or stage, yet everybody else does? every time i mention it, my coworkers say “why don’t you ask?”
i shouldn’t HAVE to ask! if they got to do it one day without asking to do it, then i shouldn’t have to either! do they just not like me? should i quit? what do i do? why does everyone else get to learn everything else, yet i’m stuck doing picking, reshop, and cleaning carts every single day.
why haven’t they taught me anything else? my pick rate isn’t even bad! is this their way of telling me to quit?
submitted by yourmomsaysimsexy to OGPBackroom [link] [comments]
my pick rate isn’t even bad. it used to be in the 80’s when i first started, but eventually i was able to get it up to 200 at most.
however, nobody said a word when my pick rate was getting good. i was first place on the leaderboard for two weeks in a row for the entire shift, and i STILL didn’t get to do anything new.
so, why can’t i do exceptions, pack, dispense, or stage, yet everybody else does? every time i mention it, my coworkers say “why don’t you ask?”
i shouldn’t HAVE to ask! if they got to do it one day without asking to do it, then i shouldn’t have to either! do they just not like me? should i quit? what do i do? why does everyone else get to learn everything else, yet i’m stuck doing picking, reshop, and cleaning carts every single day.
why haven’t they taught me anything else? my pick rate isn’t even bad! is this their way of telling me to quit?
2024.05.14 06:36 Emergency_Iron_3410 NDA Written Exam Institute In Aurangabad
NDA Written Exam Institute in Aurangabad
Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI):
Nestled amidst the rich cultural tapestry of Aurangabad, MKDEI beckons aspirants with the promise of a transformative educational experience. Founded by Major Kulthe, a seasoned veteran with years of experience in the armed forces, the institute embodies his vision of nurturing the next generation of leaders and defenders of the nation. With a holistic approach to education that goes beyond textbooks and exams, MKDEI instills values of discipline, integrity, and patriotism in every student who walks through its doors.
A Legacy of Excellence:
At MKDEI, excellence is not just a goal—it's a way of life. With a faculty comprising retired military officers, seasoned educators, and subject matter experts, the institute offers a comprehensive curriculum that covers all aspects of the NDA written exam. From mathematics and general ability to English and current affairs, every subject is taught with precision and depth, ensuring that students are well-prepared to tackle even the most challenging questions with confidence and clarity.
State-of-the-Art Facilities:
In its quest to provide the best possible learning environment for its students, MKDEI spares no expense in ensuring that its facilities are second to none. From spacious classrooms equipped with modern teaching aids to a well-stocked library that houses a treasure trove of reference materials, every aspect of the institute is designed to foster an atmosphere of learning and growth. Additionally, MKDEI offers online resources and mock tests to help students assess their progress and identify areas for improvement, ensuring that they are fully prepared to excel on exam day.
Personalized Guidance and Mentorship:
At MKDEI, every student is more than just a name on a roster—they are part of a close-knit community bound by a shared goal of success. With small class sizes and personalized attention from faculty members, students receive the individualized guidance and mentorship they need to reach their full potential. Whether it's clarifying doubts, providing extra help outside of class, or offering moral support during challenging times, the faculty at MKDEI are committed to helping students overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Success Stories:
But don't just take our word for it—let the success stories of MKDEI's alumni speak for themselves. From top-ranking officers in the armed forces to successful professionals in various fields, graduates of MKDEI have gone on to achieve great heights in their careers, thanks in no small part to the solid foundation of knowledge, skills, and values instilled in them during their time at the institute. Their achievements serve as a testament to the efficacy of MKDEI educational approach and the transformative power of a quality education.
Conclusion:
In the competitive landscape of NDA exam preparation, Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI) emerges as a beacon of hope and opportunity for aspiring cadets in Aurangabad. With its legacy of excellence, state-of-the-art facilities, personalized guidance, and proven track record of success, MKDEI stands as the undisputed leader in preparing students for the challenges that lie ahead. So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of service, honor, and distinction, look no further than MKDEI—the gateway to a brighter future and a proud legacy of service to the nation.
NDA Written Exam Institute in Aurangabad
Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI):
Nestled amidst the rich cultural tapestry of Aurangabad, MKDEI beckons aspirants with the promise of a transformative educational experience. Founded by Major Kulthe, a seasoned veteran with years of experience in the armed forces, the institute embodies his vision of nurturing the next generation of leaders and defenders of the nation. With a holistic approach to education that goes beyond textbooks and exams, MKDEI instills values of discipline, integrity, and patriotism in every student who walks through its doors.
A Legacy of Excellence:
At MKDEI, excellence is not just a goal—it's a way of life. With a faculty comprising retired military officers, seasoned educators, and subject matter experts, the institute offers a comprehensive curriculum that covers all aspects of the NDA written exam. From mathematics and general ability to English and current affairs, every subject is taught with precision and depth, ensuring that students are well-prepared to tackle even the most challenging questions with confidence and clarity.
State-of-the-Art Facilities:
In its quest to provide the best possible learning environment for its students, MKDEI spares no expense in ensuring that its facilities are second to none. From spacious classrooms equipped with modern teaching aids to a well-stocked library that houses a treasure trove of reference materials, every aspect of the institute is designed to foster an atmosphere of learning and growth. Additionally, MKDEI offers online resources and mock tests to help students assess their progress and identify areas for improvement, ensuring that they are fully prepared to excel on exam day.
Personalized Guidance and Mentorship:
At MKDEI, every student is more than just a name on a roster—they are part of a close-knit community bound by a shared goal of success. With small class sizes and personalized attention from faculty members, students receive the individualized guidance and mentorship they need to reach their full potential. Whether it's clarifying doubts, providing extra help outside of class, or offering moral support during challenging times, the faculty at MKDEI are committed to helping students overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Success Stories:
But don't just take our word for it—let the success stories of MKDEI's alumni speak for themselves. From top-ranking officers in the armed forces to successful professionals in various fields, graduates of MKDEI have gone on to achieve great heights in their careers, thanks in no small part to the solid foundation of knowledge, skills, and values instilled in them during their time at the institute. Their achievements serve as a testament to the efficacy of MKDEI educational approach and the transformative power of a quality education.
Conclusion:
In the competitive landscape of NDA exam preparation, Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI) emerges as a beacon of hope and opportunity for aspiring cadets in Aurangabad. With its legacy of excellence, state-of-the-art facilities, personalized guidance, and proven track record of success, MKDEI stands as the undisputed leader in preparing students for the challenges that lie ahead. So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of service, honor, and distinction, look no further than MKDEI—the gateway to a brighter future and a proud legacy of service to the nation.
submitted by Emergency_Iron_3410 to u/Emergency_Iron_3410 [link] [comments]
Introduction
In the heart of Aurangabad, where history whispers through ancient monuments and the spirit of valor permeates the air, Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI) stands tall as a bastion of excellence in preparing young minds for the prestigious National Defence Academy NDA Written Exam Institute in Aurangabad. With a legacy steeped in dedication, integrity, and unwavering commitment to excellence, MKDEI emerges as the premier institute for aspiring cadets seeking to embark on a journey of service and honor.Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI):
Nestled amidst the rich cultural tapestry of Aurangabad, MKDEI beckons aspirants with the promise of a transformative educational experience. Founded by Major Kulthe, a seasoned veteran with years of experience in the armed forces, the institute embodies his vision of nurturing the next generation of leaders and defenders of the nation. With a holistic approach to education that goes beyond textbooks and exams, MKDEI instills values of discipline, integrity, and patriotism in every student who walks through its doors.
A Legacy of Excellence:
At MKDEI, excellence is not just a goal—it's a way of life. With a faculty comprising retired military officers, seasoned educators, and subject matter experts, the institute offers a comprehensive curriculum that covers all aspects of the NDA written exam. From mathematics and general ability to English and current affairs, every subject is taught with precision and depth, ensuring that students are well-prepared to tackle even the most challenging questions with confidence and clarity.
State-of-the-Art Facilities:
In its quest to provide the best possible learning environment for its students, MKDEI spares no expense in ensuring that its facilities are second to none. From spacious classrooms equipped with modern teaching aids to a well-stocked library that houses a treasure trove of reference materials, every aspect of the institute is designed to foster an atmosphere of learning and growth. Additionally, MKDEI offers online resources and mock tests to help students assess their progress and identify areas for improvement, ensuring that they are fully prepared to excel on exam day.
Personalized Guidance and Mentorship:
At MKDEI, every student is more than just a name on a roster—they are part of a close-knit community bound by a shared goal of success. With small class sizes and personalized attention from faculty members, students receive the individualized guidance and mentorship they need to reach their full potential. Whether it's clarifying doubts, providing extra help outside of class, or offering moral support during challenging times, the faculty at MKDEI are committed to helping students overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Success Stories:
But don't just take our word for it—let the success stories of MKDEI's alumni speak for themselves. From top-ranking officers in the armed forces to successful professionals in various fields, graduates of MKDEI have gone on to achieve great heights in their careers, thanks in no small part to the solid foundation of knowledge, skills, and values instilled in them during their time at the institute. Their achievements serve as a testament to the efficacy of MKDEI educational approach and the transformative power of a quality education.
Conclusion:
In the competitive landscape of NDA exam preparation, Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI) emerges as a beacon of hope and opportunity for aspiring cadets in Aurangabad. With its legacy of excellence, state-of-the-art facilities, personalized guidance, and proven track record of success, MKDEI stands as the undisputed leader in preparing students for the challenges that lie ahead. So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of service, honor, and distinction, look no further than MKDEI—the gateway to a brighter future and a proud legacy of service to the nation.
NDA Written Exam Institute in Aurangabad
Introduction
In the heart of Aurangabad, where history whispers through ancient monuments and the spirit of valor permeates the air, Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI) stands tall as a bastion of excellence in preparing young minds for the prestigious National Defence Academy NDA Written Exam Institute in Aurangabad. With a legacy steeped in dedication, integrity, and unwavering commitment to excellence, MKDEI emerges as the premier institute for aspiring cadets seeking to embark on a journey of service and honor.Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI):
Nestled amidst the rich cultural tapestry of Aurangabad, MKDEI beckons aspirants with the promise of a transformative educational experience. Founded by Major Kulthe, a seasoned veteran with years of experience in the armed forces, the institute embodies his vision of nurturing the next generation of leaders and defenders of the nation. With a holistic approach to education that goes beyond textbooks and exams, MKDEI instills values of discipline, integrity, and patriotism in every student who walks through its doors.
A Legacy of Excellence:
At MKDEI, excellence is not just a goal—it's a way of life. With a faculty comprising retired military officers, seasoned educators, and subject matter experts, the institute offers a comprehensive curriculum that covers all aspects of the NDA written exam. From mathematics and general ability to English and current affairs, every subject is taught with precision and depth, ensuring that students are well-prepared to tackle even the most challenging questions with confidence and clarity.
State-of-the-Art Facilities:
In its quest to provide the best possible learning environment for its students, MKDEI spares no expense in ensuring that its facilities are second to none. From spacious classrooms equipped with modern teaching aids to a well-stocked library that houses a treasure trove of reference materials, every aspect of the institute is designed to foster an atmosphere of learning and growth. Additionally, MKDEI offers online resources and mock tests to help students assess their progress and identify areas for improvement, ensuring that they are fully prepared to excel on exam day.
Personalized Guidance and Mentorship:
At MKDEI, every student is more than just a name on a roster—they are part of a close-knit community bound by a shared goal of success. With small class sizes and personalized attention from faculty members, students receive the individualized guidance and mentorship they need to reach their full potential. Whether it's clarifying doubts, providing extra help outside of class, or offering moral support during challenging times, the faculty at MKDEI are committed to helping students overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Success Stories:
But don't just take our word for it—let the success stories of MKDEI's alumni speak for themselves. From top-ranking officers in the armed forces to successful professionals in various fields, graduates of MKDEI have gone on to achieve great heights in their careers, thanks in no small part to the solid foundation of knowledge, skills, and values instilled in them during their time at the institute. Their achievements serve as a testament to the efficacy of MKDEI educational approach and the transformative power of a quality education.
Conclusion:
In the competitive landscape of NDA exam preparation, Major Kulthe Defence Education Institute (MKDEI) emerges as a beacon of hope and opportunity for aspiring cadets in Aurangabad. With its legacy of excellence, state-of-the-art facilities, personalized guidance, and proven track record of success, MKDEI stands as the undisputed leader in preparing students for the challenges that lie ahead. So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of service, honor, and distinction, look no further than MKDEI—the gateway to a brighter future and a proud legacy of service to the nation.
2024.05.14 06:16 Sorry_Citron_1725 Retirement question...?
long story short, i have 23yrs (15AD 8USAR). my retention NCO says i have about 140days till my current contract is over. he also tells me that IF i do not reenlist prior to that, i will ETS and could loose my retirement. he tells me that as soon as i reenlistment to drop my retirement packet and the new contract will "go away" (for lack of better words).
is my retention NCO feeding me BS or is this true?
submitted by Sorry_Citron_1725 to ArmyReserveRetirement [link] [comments]
is my retention NCO feeding me BS or is this true?
2024.05.14 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.
OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.Update: February 27, 2024
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?
OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down
OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.
----NEW UPDATE----
Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.14 05:53 FLFM85 Brought home a 1st Gen
1995 extended cab V6 manual 4x4 This one ticks all the boxes for me. It was all perfect timing too, as the guy I bought it from hadn’t even listed it for sale. A word of mouth transaction through a coworker landed me this beauty - with just under 44k miles too! No major concerns, just little things like a cracked interior door handle and AC needing to be recharged. I’m super grateful to be the proud new owner of this truck!
submitted by FLFM85 to Tacomaworld [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:48 LatinaxXx333 Need advice - UDC Law
Hi all -
I have been applying to law schools for about 3 years now. I've been waitlisted in the past or just outright rejected. This year, I had to narrow my search due to my job (I love what I do & cannot afford to relocate again so I applied part time only).
Out of the 6 schools I applied to, I was waitlisted and ultimately rejected from all but 1. I was accepted into UDC & I'm having mixed thoughts.
I made a 152 on my LSAT and I've taken it 3 times (I don't have it in me to test again) & even though I got my master's degree, I know they don't focus on it much & I have a few Fs on my undergrad transcript from being overly ambitious back then.
I don't want to wait another year to start law school, and I've done some research on UDC. It seems like it's gotten... "better" over the years for lack of better words, but I know it's certainly not the best. I already work in the federal sector and have no plans on leaving. I love my job and have a supportive team of employers in regards to me pursuing law school.
I guess I'm wanting advice on what I should do. Seeing as UDC is my only option, should I just start there, keep my grades up and try to transfer to another school? Any sincere advice helps. I have no one in my family to ask as I'm first gen & my coworkers mean well, but most are ivy league lawyers who come from highly educated families so their perspective is a bit different than mine. I need to put a seat deposit down by the end of this month and I'm struggling with myself on this.
submitted by LatinaxXx333 to OutsideT14lawschools [link] [comments]
I have been applying to law schools for about 3 years now. I've been waitlisted in the past or just outright rejected. This year, I had to narrow my search due to my job (I love what I do & cannot afford to relocate again so I applied part time only).
Out of the 6 schools I applied to, I was waitlisted and ultimately rejected from all but 1. I was accepted into UDC & I'm having mixed thoughts.
I made a 152 on my LSAT and I've taken it 3 times (I don't have it in me to test again) & even though I got my master's degree, I know they don't focus on it much & I have a few Fs on my undergrad transcript from being overly ambitious back then.
I don't want to wait another year to start law school, and I've done some research on UDC. It seems like it's gotten... "better" over the years for lack of better words, but I know it's certainly not the best. I already work in the federal sector and have no plans on leaving. I love my job and have a supportive team of employers in regards to me pursuing law school.
I guess I'm wanting advice on what I should do. Seeing as UDC is my only option, should I just start there, keep my grades up and try to transfer to another school? Any sincere advice helps. I have no one in my family to ask as I'm first gen & my coworkers mean well, but most are ivy league lawyers who come from highly educated families so their perspective is a bit different than mine. I need to put a seat deposit down by the end of this month and I'm struggling with myself on this.