Letter to school for time off for vacation

I don't know if anyone else feels like this, but it has bothered me for a while now and I don't have anyone to talk about stuff like this with IRL so I just thought it might be good to at least write it out. I am not looking for advice or pity or anything like that. I, just as the subreddit name says, want to get it off my chest.
Everyone in my family is married with children, except my brother who is also in a long-term relationship. All of my cousins, my sister, even the divorced uncles/aunts and both of my parents are re-married. Some of them like my brother are terrible people and still he has always been in long relationships for the past decade while I have never found anyone that fits. Due to this I always feel out of place whenever I spend time with them, as they are always sitting with their partner and I am always the only one that is alone. It feels like everything in the conversations is always about relationships, what their kids are doing, what their last vacation was or where they are planning on going next while I don't even have someone I could travel with. About half a year ago I thought I had finally met someone that was a great fit, however they have different long term goals and so we decided not to start a relationship (I personally don't want to start anything if I know I will have to break up eventually). For a short time I thought I had finally found someone and it felt great however since then I now more than ever feel like I will never find anyone and they were as close as I was going to get.
When I am with my friends I luckily don't feel this bad, a bunch of them are single too or even with the ones in relationships at least it feels like they still have their own separate personalities, while with my family it feels like every couple is just one person.
And don't worry outwards I am not this self-pitying, I try to always be positive but sometimes it is just too much to hold it in. However I thought it might be better to write it out here instead of bothering someone else with it.

ADHD deleted my post with no explanation so I'm posting it here
I (17M) have been suspecting I have ADHD for some time now. It mostly started like 2 years ago I think when my friends said I might have it. I had a way of thinking that I might have it or I might not, what difference would it make? Which is why what actually peaked my interest was the fact that they mentioned that it's possible to get treatment per se.
Just noticed I've created a walk of text yapping about what essentially are my suspected "symptoms" you can skip this if you'd like
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I've only had contact with one person with diagnosed ADHD in my life and they had behavioral problems and had had a person that watched him over in his class, which made me believe that was ADHD, especially with my mom using the fact he has ADHD to explain why he was acting the way he was. It didn't help that my whole life I've only ever heard ADHD being used in a joking manner like when I was jumping all over the place as a kid or straight up being told it's made up by my biology teacher back in primary school.
So I started researching it and I related to most if not all posts on here, on subs like adhdmeme and comics like the ones created by ADHD Alien.
I honestly don't see a big deal with not being able to sit still, sitting weird etc. My bigger problem is my working memory being so horrible that at this point I'm known for remembering nothing and not being expected to. Some of my friends have even resolved to telling me plans only a day before because they knew I wouldn't remember. I always forget where I put anything anywhere and I've been described by one of classmates as "one of the smartest and dumbest people in the class" cause subjects like math come so easy to me I don't remember the last time I've had to study and yet I seem to not know the most basic things that everyone just seems to just know. I can barely even recall my childhood.
I've always thought that maybe it was the pandemic that did something to my memory and my time clock which is equally fucked up but honestly I don't even remember that far to confirm with absolute certainty whether I've always been like this or not.
I also get this weird seasonal depression I'd call it? I'm pretty sure I've read about it here once, it's like every couple of weeks I switch from mostly happy to mostly sad and vice versa. I dunno if it's relevant but I wanted to mention it anyhow.
Tho I'd say the worst is the executive dysfunction and procrastination that I could go on and on about but I suspect most of you know what I'm talking about. The feeling of wanting to do everything and yet ending up doing nothing and the putting things off till last minute or till there's something bigger to procrastinate on like I'm doing rn writing this post instead of studying for my history and chemistry test tommorow. Or the waking up early and yet staying in bed till I'm almost late.
I can barely make myself do anything in my free time which is why I feel like I'm wasting my potential and I want to do something about it before it's too late.
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Coming back to the actual subject at hand. I come from Poland, which is not exactly known for its male mental health awareness and I'm afraid my mom won't understand or will try to dismiss my worries since private therapy costs money. I tried to just mention ADHD in a conversation with my mom and the literal first thing I get is "you don't have ADHD". I've never really talked to my dad about these kinds of things so I don't think I have it in me.
Do you guys think I should try or just wait 8 months till my 18 birthday and go by myself? I also suspect that if it will ever come to the medication subject my parents will be against it which is probably why I'm leaning on waiting. I don't even know why, it's just a gut feeling.
Even now I think I'm getting ahead of myself, for all I know it's not ADHD but something completely different and I'm just inserting myself here for some subconscious need to have a special label to carry. I have no idea and my patience is growing thinner. I always thought that knowing doesn't do anything but now I'm not so sure. At the end of the day something is wrong, I am spending my days doing nothing of value, so therapy would help either way.
I just can't bring myself to ask, to even spark a conversation, I've always avoided things like this for some reason.

So my daughter just turned 4 in April , and she started preschool in January. Majority of the time she comes home with snot and dirt and whatever else crusted to her face and I have to scrub hard to get it off, stuff on her clothes , etc. I normally let it slide and don’t say anything because I know the teachers day can be chaotic. However , we picked her up today and her hair looked wet. We get her home and there is something crusted all over her head and hair, and her hair is matted. Her teacher said she got yogurt in her hair at snack but it was pretty bad and gross. I did send her to school in a ponytail and that was taken out. Am I the jerk for going up the school and throwing a fit?! Also they sent her home without her jacket yesterday so I had to go back and get that, and they also lost her favorite stuffed animal she’s had since she was a baby. I send it because they have a naptime every day and request we send a stuffie or a blanket. Just wondering if I’m the crazy one here. 😂 I get really flustered when it comes to my kid. Thanks in advance yall

Hello everyone,
I have been looking at this sub for a while but this is my first post. Any advice and comment in general is appreciated!
My ex and I are meeting on Thursday before we both part ways as we are graduating from college. I reached out to her and asked to meet just to catch up and see what has changed in her life since we broke up a month and a half ago. I am leaving college and moving back home, back to NY on Saturday, and she is moving back to her parent’s place in NH. As a result, I wanted to meet one last time because this might be the last time we ever see each other.
For context:
My ex girlfriend broke up with me on April 8th. It was kind of unexpected and caught me off guard. Anyways, she said she wanted to break up for two main reasons. The first being distance and the second being that I was putting so much effort into the relationship and she felt the was unfair to me because she didn’t feel the same way. After 2-1/2 year being in a serious romantic relationship, and 4 years of friendship, this is how it ended.
Why I’m posting:
I am posting because I want everyone’s opinion on this letter I wrote for my ex. While I was blindsided by this, she has been nothing but respectful and classy about post break up stuff. Respected the NC and respected me saying I will reach out if I’m ready. So we planned and are meeting on Thursday. I could see myself getting back with her down the road, as my letter dictates. I wrote this hand written letter and want opinion. Thanks in advance!
The letter:
Dear [her name],
As we prepare to part ways and move on to the next chapters of our lives, I wanted to take a moment to express some things that have been weighing on my heart. First and foremost, I want you to know that I harbor no ill will towards you for the decision you made to end our relationship. While it was incredibly difficult for me to accept at first, I understand that you felt it was the best choice for you, and I respect that.
Our time together has meant the world to me, and I want you to know that I cherish every moment we shared. You brought so much love, joy, and growth into my life, and for that, I will always be grateful. Even though things didn't work out the way I had hoped, I am thankful for the experiences we had together and the person you helped me become.
I want you to know that despite the pain of our breakup, my love for you hasn't changed. It may take time to heal and find closure, but I want you to know that I care about you deeply, and I am open to the possibility of revisiting our relationship in the future if it's what we both desire. With that being said, I will not wait on that opportunity to come around and I don’t expect you too either.
That being said, I cannot deny the hurt and sadness I felt when you made the decision to end things. It was a difficult pill to swallow, and it left me feeling lost and heartbroken. While I may not fully understand all your reasons, I respect your honesty and your right to follow your own path. As I said at the very start of our relationship, you never have to justify your feeling to me.
As we say our goodbyes, please know that you will always hold a special place in my heart. I wish you nothing but happiness, success, and fulfillment in all of your endeavors. And if our paths should cross again someday, I hope that we can look back on our time together with fondness and gratitude. My number is always open, so please keep in touch. I look forward to the next time we speak to each other.
Take care of yourself, [her name]. Know that you are loved and valued, now and always.
With love and respect,
Mike

I (36F) and Ben (36M) have been friends since elementary school, and our bond deepened throughout high school. There has never been any romantic involvement between us. I've had several relationships: my first lasted about three years, the second about a year, and then I dated my husband for around ten years before we got married. My husband, Ben, and I share similar values and have become close friends over time. Ben introduced his girlfriend, Angela (29F), to us about seven years ago. Initially, Ben was secretive about their relationship, which made me feel slighted since we had always been open with each other. Eventually, he revealed the relationship to our close group of friends when it became serious. Angela joined us for group outings but remained reserved and never engage much. As Ben spent more time with Angela, our interactions decreased significantly.
When I confronted Ben about his distance, he reluctantly explained that Angela felt uncomfortable around me due to our long-standing friendship, a trip we took together before Ben met her, rumors she had heard about me, and perceived differences in our views. However, Ben couldn't articulate what these differences were, as I had always maintained a neutral stance around Angela. He reassured me that I had done nothing wrong but admitted that my presence caused tension in their relationship. He suggested me to try inviting Angela out more.
Despite efforts to include Angela in our gatherings, she consistently declined invitations or canceled last minute, citing various reasons. Eventually, she accused us of bullying her (for a date she is free) and shared our conversations with her friends, further straining my friendship with Ben. When I asked him about this, he said he "wouldn't have known that she felt pressure from our invitations". Feeling exhausted by the situation, I distanced myself from both Ben and Angela.
In January 2023, Ben casually mentioned a trip he and Angela took and dropped off a souvenir for me. After that, neither of us reached out until later in 2023 when he attempted to arrange a dinner for my husband's birthday. I suggested Ben get in touch with my husband, as it wasn't my birthday, but honestly, we were unsure how to interact with Ben, so we didn't reply.
Earlier this year, I communicated to Ben once more that I wouldn't actively extend invitations to Angela. I'm indifferent if Angela decides to join (frankly, I'd prefer she didn't). (Btw, the moment I said this, Ben immediately said “I tried reaching out to you but was ignored”). We've had group dinners twice earlier this year with Angela attending both times (somehow, she's becoming more present). On a third occasion, it was for my birthday. I'm puzzled why she was even there as it resulted in an uncomfortable meal with just the four of us. I refrained from initiating conversations due to uncertainty regarding topics that might provoke Angela. If I directed questions to Ben about his family, she interjected, responding for him. I quietly suggested to my husband that they might be engaged, given the ring on her finger. While I excused myself to the washroom after the meal, my husband inquired about it and, lo and behold, they've been engaged since their 2022 trip. Ben nonchalantly mentioned he had multiple proposal plans and confirmed they would've disclosed it if any of us asked. Of note, we DID inquire during our recent group meals; we were just ignored.
Afterwards, I messaged Angela to offer congratulations and inquire about their upcoming plans, but she seemed reluctant to share. I tried to ask about her family and she merely acknowledged my messages with emojis. When I informed Ben of this, he advised me to stick to topics like dogs and video games with her. Then he went silent as well.
At this point, I'm completely disillusioned. I've been searching for a conclusive reason to sever ties with Ben, and now I have it. I feel deeply betrayed and hurt. I confided in two other friends from our circle, declaring my decision to cut ties. One suggested I let it slide and attend Ben's wedding as a casual acquaintance if invited. However, I refused, stating I couldn't celebrate someone I'm not genuinely happy for.
I finally made the decision to remove Angela from my contacts and erased her number. I'm planning to do the same with Ben.
WIBTA if I simply cut ties with Ben without explanation? Or should I confront him once more about our severed friendship? (Though I'm hesitant, knowing he'll likely become defensive and shift blame onto me).

If I didn’t think it could get any worse….. I teach at the high school level. The student in question is A JUNIOR. The student had with the paper assignment in front of him staring off into space. I asked him why he wasn’t doing his work he said “I don’t have a pencil.” When I asked him if he’d asked anyone for a pencil he just stared at me. I finally asked “Would you like to borrow a pencil???” He nodded. I gave him a pencil from my desk. I walk back around a few minutes later and he’s still staring into space. I asked him again why he wasn’t doing his work, he said “The pencil you gave me is broken.” The pencil was not broken folks, it needed sharpened.
The principal came on the school speaker this AM and said that there are “problems with internet connectivity but he would let us know when it was fixed. I had a room of 30 freshman all saying “my computer isn’t working. It’s not working Ms my computer has a blank screen”. It reminded me of those muppets that only said “meep” in rapid succession.
I can’t anymore. I still have juniors, who have been told a million times to take my assessments they need a school issued Chromebook and expect me to provide them with one.
I came home this afternoon, went into my half bath, closed the door and screamed at the top of my lungs to get out this frustration/rage.
I hate the sound of my own name.
Thank you for letting me rant.

Hello studentloans,
I am trying to sort through my student loans for the first time in a significant time! I initially graduated back in 2011 with my BA and MST and started teaching right off the bat. I was not aware of income-driven repayment when I first started and so I opted to enroll in “extended graduated repayment”. I made payments up until around 2014. I ended up going back to school for an advanced certificate and applied for deferment. I started making payments after I graduated in the spring of 2015. Once Covid hit I elected to not make payments up until a few months ago when payments resumed. I currently have around 53,000 dollars in loans and I’m trying to sort out the best way to take advantage of loan forgiveness and zero out the loans. As I mentioned earlier, I was a public school teacher and I am currently a school administrator (both in title 1 schools if that matters) I am struggling making sense of everything and I have been trying to contact Mohela, Fedloans and other agencies like NYC DOE, but I find myself spending hours on the phone and not getting anywhere. I am wondering if anyone can please help me answer a few questions:
1.) Does any of my payments or time qualify towards PSLF 2.) IDR plans options are 150-200 more than what I currently pay a month…is that normal and are there other options I can explore that can reduce/maintain payments while also qualifying for loan forgiveness? 3.) what, if any, recommendations do you all have as to actions I should take for loan forgiveness?
Any help would be really appreciated!!!

I've been struggling with a very destructive pattern of paying for sex for some time now. I don't do it often, and bc of that I've fooled myself into believing that these act-outs are just a series of one-off events brought on by specific stressors in my life, but it has undoubtedly become a pattern and I know that I need some accountability.
For context, from a young age I've always engaged in somewhat deviant (to me) sexual behavior. I was raised very strictly catholic and from a young age was told in school that it was a sin to masturbate. I matured earlier than many boys and started masturbating in 4th grade. The first time scared the hell out of me as I had no idea what was happening. All I knew is it felt good and that I couldn't talk to it about anyone.
Fast forward to 8th grade - I was in a serious relationship through 9th grade. This was the first time I had sex of any kind with another person. I also was cheating on her with many other girls.
Next was sophomore year of high school. The first time I experienced true love. And the first time I felt I had such a deep connection with someone else that was respectful and honest. And still I ended up cheating on her toward the end of our two years together. We remain friends to this day which I'm very thankful for, and hey it was high school - water under the bridge, young people make mistakes right? maybe, but...
Fast forward to my college years, I was in a very serious relationship for the entirety of college that culminated in marriage right out of school and a subsequent divorce a few years later. She was the one. Beautiful, smart, sexy. She had everything I wanted (or thought I wanted in my juvenile brain). But as we entered our 3rd year of dating, we began to have many serious sexual issues that we would later find out, stemmed from both of our underlying trauma surrounding sex. We continuously played out a very destructive sexual fantasy that was never explicitly spoken about until the very end of our relationship. In addition to this, I also had many emotional and physical affairs along the way.
That failed marriage prompted a complete overhaul of my life. I was devastated and I knew there were many things I needed to sort out if I was ever going to have a healthy relationship to sex and with another person. Thus, I found a therapist. An amazing therapist. I didn't realize how good he was until much later. The work we did together changed my life. I found a stable career. And I found the girl of my dreams. The relationship was calm, respectful, loving, and without the vicious ups and downs I had previously known. The sex was good and meaningful. We are still together - married with three children. And to this day I have not had any sort of emotional connection to anyone else but her.
And yet, I'm here. Early in my relationship with my now-wife, I visited a massage parlor and cheated. I talked about this with my therapist. We dug in and explored why I felt the need to do this and discovered that this acting out had very little to do with my relationship and everything to do with some unresolved issues inside of me. Thus, the advice was to not disclose the transgression to my partner as it would only cause her pain. That took me a minute to understand but I believe it was the right decision. I still do. And with time, I moved past it.
That was my only transgression for a long time. After many years of intensive therapy I was a new man, feeling more confident and secure in myself than I'd ever been. And so on my therapists advice we began to taper off on the sessions until finally we felt the bulk of our work was done and that I we would check in only on a necessary basis.
And then 3 years into my marriage, I acted out again. I visited another sex worker. I was devastated. But I felt confident that I could handle this on my own. I didn't call my therapist. I journaled, I downloaded a sober app, I conducted therapy sessions with myself, and I held myself accountable. And with time I began to feel better until the guilt faded away and after numerous successful moments where I stopped myself from acting out. This gave me a security that I might finally have kicked my issue. And so I went on with life, I dedicated myself to being the best partner and father I could be. I didn't think of my transgressions often - only when those impulses would arise or I would catch myself drinking a bit too much and experiencing intrusive thoughts.
And then after almost 2 years of sobriety, I did again last week. And I'm crushed. It shakes the foundation I've fought so hard to build. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like a broken person doomed to failure. And my deep fear now is that I've pathologized this behavior. I've normalized it. And that thought sends me into a panic. Is this what my life will be? Will I always have to carry around this shadow self? This is not the man I want to be. This is not the partner or father I want to be.
And what makes it that much more difficult is that my family and friends adore me. I've been referred to as "golden boy" more than a few times. I have an enviable life. And I'm the type of person who friends and family confide in and look up to. I've been told I emanate a quiet strength and people feel safe around me.
And yet, here I am with this terrible secret. I don't feel like the man people think I am or that I portray myself to be. I've called my therapist and we will speak tomorrow, but any words of encouragement or additional resources would be much appreciated. I cannot allow this to happen again. It is eating away at my heart.

My brother (45) is recently divorced and seriously dating a new woman. They live far away and I met her for the first time prior to this incident, awkwardly enough at our father's funeral; he passed away after a long illness about 3 months into their relationship.
My mom has been understandably depressed after losing her husband, so she suggested an extended family get together this summer and I offered to plan it. To avoid complexity, I picked some dates over 4th of July, rented a large house in a central location, and invited everyone in her part of the family - my siblings, her sister, our cousins, and their spouses and kids.
Brother immediately says the girlfriend and her 2 kids from her previous marriage will be coming. OK, no worries. Mom met the kids once, the rest of us haven't, but it will be fine.
A few weeks later, he asks if, since the house is so large, the girlfriend’s sister and her sister's wife could also join us in the house. None of us have ever met these women; many of the family who are coming haven't even met the girlfriend since the relationship is so new. I reach out to each person who's coming privately and ask them if they'd be OK with this, and it's all immediate "nos" and a lot of "... what?" Also, other spouses/partners of family members understandably want to invite their own families if she can invite hers, and there wouldn’t be room for all. So I go back to him and say, sorry, we're thinking this will just be the core family, of course GF and her kids are still welcome.
I think it's settled, until they come to visit me last weekend for my first real time meeting her. GF mentions the sister and I say, "Oh, yes, I'm so sorry I won't be able to meet her this summer, but I'd love to sometime, she sounds great."
She says I might get to meet her this summer after all, because her and her wife are going to go on vacation to the same town as us on the same dates, but stay in a hotel instead of in the house with us. Because they just happen to want to go there and the dates are good for them, and something about child care - my brother and GF are going on another vacation right after this one and they were planning to take the kids to her sister and wife's house in another state to watch them while they travel, so this will save them time because they can pass the kids off in the same town and the sister can drive them to her home while brother and GF go to Europe.
I think this sounds bizarre. My brother said if I had kids I would understand and that I was crazy and added that the sister needs money because she's trying to do IVF and could use a free vacation. I obviously can't control where these strangers vacation, and apparently they’ve already booked this hotel, so my brother said they will still go but the sister and her wife won't interact with any of us at all since I was being "weird."
I was so rattled by this conversation with my brother, who I usually get along well with, that I'm here to seek a neutral opinion! AITA? What should I do?

TL;DR Did anyone else with a late life diagnosis feel bombarded by revisiting past memories with a new lens?
Last week I had an experience while celebrating my 43rd birthday that finally convinced me I'm autistic, after a year of (on and off) seriously considering it.
My initial reaction was almost euphoric due to the validation and relief I felt. I got so much validation from my husband as well, which was so lovely.
Now I find that the euphoria has been replaced by so much grief, and intermittent shame, as memories are coming up almost rapid fire of all the times I suffered due to missing the larger social context of new environments or situations.
To add another layer of complication, I'm now waking up in the middle of the night worrying about my 6 y/o daughter. I see the same traits in her and I'm catastrophizing about what this will mean for her transitioning soon from her tiny private school to a public school. I know there is problem solving I can and will do around that, including getting her assessed. But I'm finding it all a bit overwhelming right now. It's hard to separate my own processing of what this all means for me, from my worries about my daughter.
Just looking for validation of this experience of ups and downs post (unofficial) diagnosis.

So for context I (21f) have always been very successful at academics, extra-curriculars etc. Ive always excelled at school and work. Starting December last year I began to face extreme autistic burnout and chronic migraines which rendered me unable to go to work. Days, weeks, months went by where I just couldn’t get out of bed. I quit my job and stopped studying. It was just generally not a good time for me. During that time my family was as supportive as they knew to be. Recently I’ve started getting better, I found a new (part time) job and I’m starting school again in September which I’m really looking forward to.
Recently, I caught a case of viral tonsillitis which had some complications and led to a peritonsillar abscess which needs to be drained. It’s left me unable to speak, with a horribly painful throat. I am including this because I have had to take a week off my new job so far because of this.
Last week my entire family got together and sat me down to have a ‘talk’ about my ‘progress’. They said I’m not living up to my potential and that I need to stop ‘avoiding hard work’ and trying to “get out of work”. Today I was talking to my boyfriend (22m) about how I’ve been procrastinating studying and that I need to start before September so I’m not behind. His only response was “you need to start working harder babe”
I don’t know if I’m overreacting; but I feel like I’m trying my absolute hardest and it’s not the same ‘level’ as I used to be. I feel like I’m disappointing everyone around me and genuinely wasting my own “potential”. I don’t know what to do. I’m exhausted and can barely even make it to my part time job but I’m still trying. Any advice? I just feel so lonely here.
TLDR; my family and boyfriend all told me I’m not working hard enough and need to work harder. I’ve been working as hard as I can and just coming out of a months-long bout of burnout and sickness. Any advice?

Let me preface with - My girlfriend and I are both (pre-op) trans girls. We also have a cis boyfriend. Also my partners and I have had late night and early morning quasi-awake sex several times, and it's totally consensual, and we've discussed it.
So! Christmas! We go on vacation. We live on the east coast, and fly to the west coast, so our time zones are all fucked up.
After we arrive, we're walking thru the grocery store (the first day) I tell my girlfriend - "I don't wanna fuck at 4 AM tonight - if we do, my sleep will get fucked up and i won't be able to get back to sleep. lets fuck tomorrow night"
She acknowledges what I said - all good to go - no problems.
So! 2AM roles around, and we're in bed. One of us goes to the bathroom, and then comes back and we start up with some grinding. She asks "hey, do you want me?" and I tell her "I wanna wait till tomorrow"
she gives me a little nibble on the neck and we cuddle and go back to sleep. no problem.
couple hours later, maybe 3:30 - I wake up. My panties are mostly off my butt, my butt is lubed up, and she's penetrating me.
I freak out-jump out of bed, and basically run downstairs.
She sends our boyfriend down - he was asleep the whole time - and he doesn't know what's up. I couldn't tell him "I think our girlfriend just tried to assault me" so I tell him "nothing is wrong babe, just go back to bed"
Next day, and into the next two - I'm super depressed. It's basically ruined the vacation for me. My girlfriend approached me several times about why I was super mopey and after telling her a few times that i was not okay with that, the best I got was "sorry, we have done it before."
This was over Christmas vacation, and our relationship has deteriorated more and more since then.
So. TwoXChromosones - did my girlfriend rape me? Or am I over-reacting?

Hi,
I am 21 years old entrepreneur.
I have divorced parents and have been living with my mother.
My mother is the laziest person I know. She struggles with discipline and work. We have always been really poor because of it. Our house was often very dirty, because she didn’t want to clean and the food at home was always really bad because she didn’t know how to cook and was too lazy to learn it.
Since childhood I have developed a little bit of hatred for her, I also developed a habit of being lazy, because that’s what my mother does.
When I was 18 I decided to take action droped off school and found myself a job, I was working 3 jobs at the same time with the goal of saving money and starting a business. 1 year ago I had finally saved up enough money and started a small business. It ended up pretty successful and I have been doing 5 digits profits monthly since then.
Once my mom found out I was making good money, she stopped working completely and started asking me for money, I didn’t like it because I knew she was using me, but I had no other option, she is my mother after all. I told her that she will need to repay me, that I am not giving the money, but just lending it to her. She promised me she will pay me back. I have been lending her money since then every month and she didn’t repay me a single dollar. Every month I tell her that she needs to start working again, and she always promises she will and that this is the last month she will borrow money from me.
This month she is still not working, so I know she will want to borrow money again. I told myself I will not give any money to her anymore, because she is using me, but she will not be able to pay any bills, so I can’t do it.
I make enough money to be able to provide for her, but is it the right thing to do? Should I let my mother use me?
Thanks for any advice.

Hi,
I am 21 years old entrepreneur.
I have divorced parents and have been living with my mother.
My mother is the laziest person I know. She struggles with discipline and work. We have always been really poor because of it. Our house was often very dirty, because she didn’t want to clean and the food at home was always really bad because she didn’t know how to cook and was too lazy to learn it.
Since childhood I have developed a little bit of hatred for her, I also developed a habit of being lazy, because that’s what my mother does.
When I was 18 I decided to take action droped off school and found myself a job, I was working 3 jobs at the same time with the goal of saving money and starting a business. 1 year ago I had finally saved up enough money and started a small business. It ended up pretty successful and I have been doing 5 digits profits monthly since then.
Once my mom found out I was making good money, she stopped working completely and started asking me for money, I didn’t like it because I knew she was using me, but I had no other option, she is my mother after all. I told her that she will need to repay me, that I am not giving the money, but just lending it to her. She promised me she will pay me back. I have been lending her money since then every month and she didn’t repay me a single dollar. Every month I tell her that she needs to start working again, and she always promises she will and that this is the last month she will borrow money from me.
This month she is still not working, so I know she will want to borrow money again. I told myself I will not give any money to her anymore, because she is using me, but she will not be able to pay any bills, so I can’t do it.
I make enough money to be able to provide for her, but is it the right thing to do? Should I let my mother use me?
Thanks for any advice.

Oh dude this post is gonna be long as fuck sorry for anyone reading this.
since I was born I always remained the youngest in the family my sister is roughly 9 years older than me and my brother is 10 years older, and when I was born my parents were quite old like my father was roughly 50 and my mother in her mid 40s. I always felt like an unwanted child due to the gap between me and my siblings and when I was born everything died like im 17 now and I barely have any connection with my brother and sister like its just formal talk and shit they all have jobs and are not interested in me, like they are friendly but they dont give a fuck. From a really young age I haven't received the emotional support I needed as a child like my family wouldn't go out together, we wouldnt spend time together since the gap is so big and they already did that when my siblings were young and I was just born late I guess. My father only gave a fuck about my academic work and school like nothing was enough for him I got too many shit done got #1 in my school and he wasn't really satisfied with anything tbh, but he started to change like a year or two ago but that was just... too late. I should have gotten that support when I was a kid. Like I had no one to support me when I was a child tbh and I mean by that is emotional support not money, money wasnt a problem at all. due to this I always kept my feelings to myself and never tried to express them. since I hit puberty I started losing interest in everything to be honest, I dont have any hobbies or something I really like, I always just focus on school and would rot in my room after school until the next day, And i would get disappointed if I didnt achieve something good in school since its basically my entire life. I am no one's best friend im just that friendly guy, Like I always smile and laugh hysterically when talking to people but when im all alone im just like a rotting dead body. I can't care for myself like If i was all alone for days I wouldnt shower cause basically i couldn't give a fuck about myself tbh. I wish I could just die in my sleep with a painless death, and sometimes I want to burn to death infront of hundreds of people. I have never been diagnosed with depression or any other mental health disease since I never went to a therapist and I dont want to go to one because I dont want any of the people around me to notice anything wrong about me. I always felt like I don't deserve anything in life, Like when something good happens I just wonder why does it happen to me. I am really lost in my life, I have no one close I can vent to or just be comfortable talking to. I feel like I dont deserve love and I should rot to death. I have thought of suicide multiple times but never got to do it since im scared, but like if death came to me I wouldn't fight it. I have no deep connection with anyone in my life since my family is too old and I have no best friends or that kind of shit, I have been feeling that way since I couldnt remember and I cant accept or think that life would get better, it just would continuously get worse and worse until I die. I am always hyperactive when around people Idk why tbh. When someone treats me nicely I just wonder why? why do they do that. I cant accept myself and I have no selfworth. My life is just a cycle that never ends, I wake up at 6, go to school, get back and sleep for 4 hours, then get up at like 6 pm, play some videogames or study for a bit then sleeping at 2am and waking up the next day while lacking sleep. idk what to do with my life honestly and I dont even think anyone would read this post for this far. I feel the cause to my problems is that nobody basically gives a fuck about me and I haven't received the love I deserved since I was a kid and Couldn't even get a portion of that from friends. The last time I celebrated my birthday was I think my 10th birthday since I asked my family to celebrate it and It felt forced as fuck, and I couldn't give a fuck about celebrating anything in my life after that. When I see someone having fun or enjoying their life in general I just get jealous dude I cant hold it in man. I feel like my parents shouldn't have gotten me, and I would be better off not existing than living, They always assure me that I was a planned pregnancy but it sure isn't dude. There is A lot more I wanna talk about but I cant write it all here, this just came out from my heart and I dont think anyone would give a fuck about the post but I just wanted to say whats on my heart at 12:11AM on a school night.
sorry for my bad english, its not my first language.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: a lot of them
My sister was an irresponsible teen mom with mental illness. To sum it up she would get pregnant any time a boyfriend and her were in trouble of breaking up.
This process started when I was 13. She promptly abandoned the baby to my parents who were in their early 40s and gave 0Fs. They put taking care of the baby completely on me, because “she only sleeps for you”, “you’re such a good babysitter!”, “I just can’t now!”. So my sister would take off for months and leave the baby, my parents would take off for days and leave us. I’d go to school, come home, and care for an infant. By the time I was 21 my sister had repeated the process 2 more times. She’d spend perhaps a two weeks every year with her children so she could illegally file for child support and food stamps.
The rest of the time? I raised her children. I was the sole provider for my family. My 3 nieces and my 2 now disabled parents. Every dollar I made went to giving the girls a blessed life. I dropped out of college to take care of them and started a small business. Every day from the time I woke up to till bedtime baths and stories, I was caring for them. When they were sick? I took them to the hospital. I taught them to read, write, bath, walk, talk. (Due to poverty and issues with my parents I was never able to file for custody- aunts don’t have rights in most states even though my sister had abandoned them, my parents refused to file for custody in any way- it was, a mess, but I stayed for them).
In time tragedy stuck, my sister began blackmailing us to keep the children. It was a disaster I was too naive and young to see coming. At 14, after returning for visiting her mum, my niece attempted suicide (I wasn’t aware she had been abused while with her mum). I had to BRIBE her mother to stay with her in the hospital because the hospital refused to allow me to stay with her. I took her to therapy but her mom insisted she be removed and she still had rights. Her school thought it was a result of bullying.
Years later while with their mother for 4 days, my sister hit my niece. It was caught on video, my nieces were taken by CPS, and because they were across state lines at the time I had to fight the legal system to get them placed with me. It took 3 years, $60k, and it bankrupted me. I made weekly trips to see my eldest niece in foster care. Across state lines this was nearly 800 a week for 3 years.
My sister surrendered my other nieces to their father and blackmailed me to keep fighting to get her own children back with the promise of finally signing over rights. Eventually she got my eldest niece back. She convinced the girl to stay with her so “she could be a real mom!”. Cps said she wanted to go with her mum and so my family placement case was closed. She lived with her a year. That ended HORRIFICALLY. In the end my sister SOLD her paternal rights to my parents to allow my niece to come home and live with us. The trauma from my sister and the system had broken my niece. My niece admitted her mum had been abusive nearly every time they’d ever seen eachother (even exposing her to drugs and during that year to being SAed) but she had never told me out of the hope someday her mum would really love her. Even with therapy she was so broken. She hurt herself again and again. I went half mad unable to help her, depression was overwhelming. Every other day we were at the hospital or therapist. Every month she’d be hospitalized for a suicide attempt and I’d sit with her in the hospital holding her hand while we waited. I’d excuse myself to hide in the hospital bathroom and sob I unable to help her.
So many ambulances, so many medicines, so many doctors, so many 4am phone calls, so many horrors. Eventually she refused medication and started using drugs. I begged her to go to rehab, I tried so hard to help her and support her in every way I could. Her life was spiraling. She became pregnant and addicted to meth, she became violent and unstable. It was a horrifying year. Eventually, after she assaulted a cop, I told her enough. She had to stop. I wouldn’t support her anymore. She would go to rehab or she was no longer welcomed in my home.
She was 18. She left and went to live with a new boyfriend. Eventually she got clean with him, lost rights to her baby with CPS involvement and got pregnant again refusing to consider birth control implants. After she got clean she began speaking to me again. I’m struggling with her pregnancy as I know she’s not fully recovered, nor stable enough to raise a child, nor mature. But I am proud she is clean and trying to gather herself together again, even if she won’t go to rehab/therapy as I’ve begged. The other day we were driving and she said this:
“You will never understand what it’s like to be a mother. I knew the moment I had my baby (the one she lost due to meth use) it’s just completely different connection. You’re JUST an aunt. You have no idea what it’s like to be a mother, you’ve never had kids and never will” and something in me just split in 2. I told her I never want to silence her emotions or invalidate her opinions but I needed a bit of silence and didn’t want to speak the rest of the trip. I dropped her at her apt, went home and cried. I’m in my mid 30s now and I’ve spent 20 years taking care of another woman’s children (minus the years my poor niece spent in foster care). So much tragedy. I blame myself completely for not knowing my sister was hurting my eldest niece, it’s my fault my nieces were lost. My fault they suffered. When they were lost I went to therapy to handle the grief. I couldn’t look at a child without sobbing. I realized I would never have my own children. I’ve never recovered from losing my nieces, never forgiven myself for their suffering. I failed them so terribly.
Her words just haunt me. She isn’t wrong, I’m not her mother and never will be, even though I’ve raised her since I was 13 and she was an infant.

This happened a couple years ago, quite a few, actually, so my memory might nit be exact. So, my friend group of a couple boys, maybe 5 or 6, to go greet a new family who had just moved in, we didn't have anything dangerous, and we were just riding our bikes, when we get to the private drive, almost the second we step on, Karen comes running out, (not her actual name) and screamed at the top of her lungs "OMG THEY'RE GONNA ROB US!", I looked at her, ears hurt, with and obvious face of confusion, she pulled out her phone, and called the police almost immediately, then, the family we were trying to greet comes out of their house, mainly the father and older son, and asks her what in the world she is doing, she then screamed again "THEY'RE TRYING TO ROB THE STREET!", the family looked at us, harmless children, and looked back at her, the older son with confusion, the father with anger, and the father asked "how do you know they're trying to rob the street? They don't have weapons?" And she screamed "JUST LOOK AT THEM! THEY'RE LITTLE JUVENILES!", and, she starts talking to the police, about maybe ten minutes later, the police show up, and one of my friends, we'll call him Jack, not his real name, start having a panic attack on the road, rocking back and forth, crying, and I start getting a little pissed myself, as the police walk up to Karen, and ask her "what's may be the problem, Ma'am?", she told them that we had tried to break into her house with a hammer, the police walked to me, and asked me "is this true, young man?", and I said "I don't even have a hammer, we had walked onto the street, and Karen comes running out, screaming "THEY'RE GONNA ROB ME!", we weren't even close to her house, sir.". And no joke, the police officer started patting ,e down, looking fir said hammer. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, i must've had the most dumb-founded expression, because the second officers told his ol' buddy "y'know held wearing shorts and a t-shirt, right [name]?" And the officer immediately stops patting me down, looks me up and down, and says "oh, right." Like he wasn't just patting me down looking for an object i couldn't hide, then walks back to karen, and tells her to screw off, he apologized to me, called the parents of "jack" to pick him up, I greeted the new kid nervously, apologized for the commotion, and we've been friends ever since, and Karen moved out almost the day after, I got told she was evicted, so, karma's a bitch! Thanks for taking the time to read this, I out more work into this than my English essays in high school.

Original post on my page, I don't know how to pin to it.
Maybe I'm confused. Maybe there's things going on in the background that prevents me from having any extra knowledge. I feel like the cops and the school have failed my kid and it's just straight up negligence.
The principal called today and said he'll out my son in a different class for the rest of the year(2weeks) cops called and said they finished the investigation and just wait for child protective services to call with resources for therapy.
I'm baffled it feels like I'm just getting pushed off by everyone. No one seems to be taking this seriously. I have no idea if other parents were contacted. I have no idea if this kids family is being investigated.
It seems like they are just waiting for school to be over so they can say fuck it.
I'm so angry and can't do anything. If I don't send my kid to school, I get in trouble. But no one is doing a thing. Two months I wasn't told about this happening. I have a time line, proof, my son has stuck to the same story since the beginning. I just don't get it. Teacher claims that she was oblivious to the situation. Two months this happened and NO ONE SAW A FUCKING THING!
I'm so close to calling a lawyer.